Work Text:
he hated it. he was scared. he was..
alone.
sitting in his bed, clutching onto that damn cross necklace he's put all his faith into like it's some sort of god. his grip is shaken from the withdraws.
the pills, the pills that they'd both take before every game. it only took some nudging before he finally got some. he had refused to give him any during downtime, causing him to shake with withdraws. he'd just let him cling to him a little bit more during the shaking. let him hold onto his arm, let him intertwine their fingers inside his pocket, let him be close. he had told himself it must have been apart of his plan all along. get him attached just to leave.
yet he watched it happen. he was there, he couldn't do anything. he watched as the fork went in and out of his throat like a knife, paralyzed with fear.
so now he's sitting in his bed, with his cross with his pills inside. with shaken hands he opens the cross and takes the last pill out. Namgyu pops it in his mouth, wishing Subong was here to take one with him.