Chapter Text
"I'll have to think about it. I still have feelings for Nene, even though we broke off and returned to being just friends a few weeks ago." Rui said He placed his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Tsukasa. I like you. I think you're a really beautiful person, and a beautiful omega as well. But I'm not sure how well our relationship would last, if we make it romantic. I'll consider it though." I lifted my gaze, so my eyes linked with Rui's.
"Oh... alright." this was in the middle of the high school's hallway. This happened late after school somewhere around 5 pm, as Rui and I got scolded by the teacher, due to me only being wrapped up in his crazy plans. It would've only been Rui himself to have to be scolded and forced to stay after however, since we're almost always together, as well as having the same class together. I often get pinned on the blame as well, having also to be forced to stay after alongside with him.
Beams of the rays of the sun, perked through the gaps of the high school's windows, hitting my face and somewhat blurring my vision in front of me due to the brightness. I'm not sure if Rui could see my face very well at the time. Part of it would be because of the rays of the sunlight somewhat obstructing his view, however, considering as to how little vegetables he eats and lack of him eating in general, another part could be of how he doesn't like carrots. I was hoping he didn't see the tears that were beginning to form and sting around the corners of my eyes, due to the rejection.
However, it was expected. Even though I should have expected the rejection from him due to me being fully aware of his on and off romantic relationship he had with Nene for a few months now, there was still a part of me which was hoping he'd say yes.
Thinking back on the day that happened with me suddenly mustering up the courage to confess to him, I always wondered as to what it is that Rui loves about Nene so much. Apart from the fact that she's an omega. Could it be because they are both childhood friends, and as Rui got older, his feelings for Nene turned into romantic feelings? Touya and I are both childhood friends, and even though I do see him as a younger brother, I remember the times as to where I would think of him, and would imagine him fingering me as my vagina would eventually swallow and tighten around his fingers. Or him pounding away at my insides, while I was in heat a few times before. Even though, I'd never exactly told this to Touya, as it's something left to be kept to myself. I'm also worried as telling him such lewd and risqué thoughts I have about him fucking me while I'm in heat would probably harm our relationship, as he would probably feel uncomfortable or weirded out.
Do I love Touya? At first, I loved him as merely as a friend, as the same as I first loved Rui. However, as we got older and hit our late teens, I started to develop some romantic feelings for the both of them. For Touya, it started when I began to out of instinct, scream and yell his name while I was in heat. I remember the times I would ask him to have a sleep over with me and Saki at our place, and I would ask if I could borrow some of his clothes. I would tell a fib and say that I needed to wear them for practice since mines still needed to be washed, or I lost my clothes or something like that. He would let me, and when I have my heat, I use some of his clothes to wrap myself around with and make a pile. I'd eventually get his clothes full of my omega slick, and would have to end up washing them, to try and get rid of any evidence of my scent being on his clothes. I'm not sure if he's noticed yet, but judging as to how strong alpha's scent is, maybe he has, but since he cares and loves me as a dear childhood friend, he's paying it no mind.
As for Rui and Nene, the childhood friend to lovers thing is probably feasible. They spent a lot of time together growing up, so it makes sense as when they got older, their feelings for each other has turned to romantic. Rui was also probably attracted to Nene, due to her being a beautiful, and attractive omega. Despite her secondary gender, she seems a bit more thin than I am, and she has this aura about her that emits matureness.
Rui is also quite thin, and much in shape, compared to myself. This could most likely be due to Rui's secondary gender, with him being diagnosed as an alpha. As for myself, I am an omega. Alpha's bodies start to develop much more muscle, yet bare a thin frame, and they also have more physical strength than omega's. since I'm an omega, I have a bit more meat on me, with my cheeks slightly rounded, and my tummy is just a tad bit soft, not showing any muscle. I also have slight chubby thighs, with a tad bit of small muscle since I tend to stretch mostly with using my legs before beginning practice. However, it is barely noticeable, as most of my legs is covered with chub. Nene is quite thin, with barely any extra meat on her for an omega female. With both of their attractiveness being mostly their physical features and their skills, I can see as to why they found each other so sexually appealing.
Everyone in wonderlands x showtime, the musical theatre troupe I'm apart of, and even set to be the lead of the group, has experienced some form of romantic love before. Each of them has dated someone to the point that each of them had a chance to talk about their sex lives. Rui and Nene, who has dated each other several times before, has had a few makeout sessions in the changing area around the wonder stage. During the time we went to spend the time at a hotel back when we were performing our mermaid show, Nene and Rui apparently had a fun time in the hotel's bath together.
"Nene did a fantastic job of trying to keep her moans down. She was also very beautiful while in the bath. Her skin seemed to shine while in that hotel bath." Rui said, not even sounding shy or embarrassed. This was back when we decided to have a sleepover at Emu's. With it being Emu's idea, of course.
"R-Rui!!! D-don't talk about stuff like that in front of them!" her face grew hot.
"It's alright Nene! To tell you guys the truth, I've been seeing someone too! He's a really nice alpha, and we've even had fun in the bed together!" Emu exclaimed.
I remember just being in shock after hearing that even someone like Emu, all innocence and smiles, had sex with and was in a relationship with someone as well.
After she was finished with explaining her sex story, she turned to ask me. "Hey, Tsukasa! What did you and your partner do together? Was it fun?" Her eyes gleamed, excited to hear my story.
Except that I don't have such a story to tell. And I wasn't about to make one up either. To tell you the truth, I've never been with anyone before. Ever. At least not in a romantic sense. Of course, I've never had sexual intercourse with anyone before, either. I always had to experience sexual stuff alone. Whenever I'm on my heats, or was in the mood to jerk off, it was always just me, since I never gotten a romantic partner to have sex with or finger me to help me cum with. Even though I'm an omega and alphas should usually try and flock me due to my secondary gender, I just felt as if I wasn't ever sexually attractive enough for alpha's to like me in that way. Back during that night we had the sleepover, after I told them the truth, all three of them were seeming as if they were giving me pity in a way.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Tsukasa. I didn't know..." Nene said. "It's not your fault, Tsukasa. You shouldn't worry about it. I'm sure someone will love you and accept you as you are. There's someone out there to love for everyone, after all." Rui said, acting like he was an older brother giving out some advice. "Don't worry Tsukasa! You will find a really super awesome partner who will love and spoil you. I'm sure of it!" Emu said. "Thanks." was all I said to them, then.
"Your parents talk over you? Hm. That's a bit abnormal. It's not like you can't speak for yourself or anything." Asahi said, as he sat down next to me on the steel bench I was sitting on. He opened his water bottle, then began to take a few sips. He and I were in the backstage at a in door theater. Asahi doing most of the work of putting away safety mats and other practice props, since we were done with our practice for the day. I helped a bit, but due to me not being much physically active for the past few weeks about a month ago, being locked up in my room during the time I was in my heat, I lost some muscle mass and began to get a bit weaker in terms of physical strength.
"Yeah, well... Remember how I told you about my parents being super overprotective of me because I'm an omega?", I said as I got up from the bench, and began to take off my practice shirt and pants. I walked over to my locker, opened it to reach inside to grab and change into my everyday clothes.
"Yeah. I know you must have it pretty hard 'cause of how strict your parents are..." He said.
"Well, it gotten to the point where my parents wouldn't allow me to get a job. I had to stay home throughout most of my days as a student." I said while in the middle of putting on my clothes. My naked back exposed to Asahi. I could feel Asahi's gaze upon me, even though I was facing the lockers, so I couldn't see him. A part of me wonders if Asahi is staring at me with hungry eyes.
"Oh, yeah... Unfortunately during your teen years, the only sort of job like experience you had was being apart of your troupe performing shows together. Wasn't necessarily an actual job either, since you didn't make any dough from it." Asahi said with a sorrowful expression.
"Yeah... Honestly, life's been hard for me as a male omega. I basically watched as everyone else grew as a person around me and started to become more independent little by little, while I barely did anything of the sort, 'cause of my overprotective parents. All I did was encourage those around me, like Touya and Saki.", I then slipped on my shirt, and began to remove my shorts I wear during practice.
"Being a male omega sounds really tough." Asahi continued, "But you're pretty strong for holding on for this long, Tsukasa."
"Yeah, it is... And thank you." I said while changing into my pants I casually wear. I swear I could've felt the Aura of Asahi most likely staring at my thighs. I then put my practice outfit into my sports bag, and closed the locker door shut.
"So, I've been thinking, Tsukasa..." Asahi began, still seated on the metal bench. His eyes now staring at his hands that he has resting on his knees.
"Yes, what is it?" I asked, slinging the strap of my bag over my right shoulder, eyes fixed on him.
He then made a small shakey exhale, then turned his head to look at me.
"Would you mind if I take you out for a few drinks? I'd be more than happy to pay for you, so don't worry about paying for anything." He offered.
"Is this a sort of request or something?" I asked, arms crossed below my chest.
Asahi made a small laugh. "No, silly. I'm asking you out on a date."
I stared at him, a bit taken aback by his answer.
"A d-date?... With me?... Are you sure?" I asked.
He made a small laugh.
"Of course I'm sure. Tsukasa, you're a very great and kind-hearted person. I've always admired how hard working you are. In fact I find hard-working and kind-hearted omegas really attractive. You also may not realize it, but you're also very beautiful." Asahi complimented.
His compliments made my face turn beet red, and my chest tighten and feel warmth. Not to many people come to me and say that I'm beautiful, hard-working, and kind-hearted. Especially not too many people ask me out. Actually, this is the first time.
"I... T-thank you..." I said quietly.
A cool and mature smile came to Asahi's face, as he got up then walked up to me and gave me a light pat on the back.
"Come on. I'll take you there. As you know, I have a driver's license and am a pretty decent driver." he made a loud laugh.
I can't believe I'm thinking this way right now, but I found his laugh to be quite attractive and handsome.
"Oh, thank you." Asahi knows that I'm not much of a driver. I would like to learn how to, however my parents forbid me from obtaining any kind of driving license and learning how to drive. I'm not even allowed to touch a car wheel, let alone sit in a driver's seat in a vehicle. My sister Saki, learned how to drive once she turned 18. I know it's due to my secondary gender even if my parents keep quiet about the reason as to why I'm forbidden to drive myself anywhere.
"It's only a short while from here, honestly we could just take a train there, but I wanna drive you there in my car myself, as it's my treat." He said with a smile.
"Oh. Okay. I don't mind." I said. My face is beet red like a tomato.
Just the two of us, in Asahi's car... A date... I feel really nervous and anxious, but I'm really grateful for his kindness and his very kind offer.
To tell you the truth, I did have a few other friends apart from those who are from my troupe, yet they were considered as online friends, meaning I didn't really know them in real life. A bit after Rui, Nene, and Emu shared their sex lives, and told me that they have all been in a romantic relationship before, or still is apart of one at the time, I felt a bit left out, and even if they most likely didn't mean to, it seemed as if they were bragging about it. Trying to make me feel like I didn't have anything, and that I'm a loser for not getting a romantic partner while I was in high school. I remember joining this small online community sometime around early winter. It was this small group where people who are inspiring actors got to meet each other, and talk, and get to know each other better. None of us knew each other in real life, but we soon started to get along with each other there as the days went by. Those days eventually made its way into months. I remember having a great time while I was there, having some interesting and lengthy conversations with others. I didn't think much of the times when they began to talk about their lives outside of their life of theatre. I don't mean to compare, but I often end up doing so anyways. Much to say that their lives were much different apart from mines. They all seemed like pretty successful people, with well paying jobs, and often get asked out on dates and such. As a male omega, I don't have much freedom, especially with the way my parents are with me. I didn't have a job, was always told to stay home, and has never dated anyone and has sort of a hard time making friends. My parents also were pretty strict with what I decided to buy. I would usually have to ask permission from them if I wanted to buy something. I didn't have much money on me either, considering as to how since I was a male omega, they were pretty strict with even me carrying around money in any sort of way. It's as if my parents are planning on making me become a housewife whom depends on their strong alpha.
I've gotten pretty close with a few members there, especially this one other actor who was around the same as I am. We've gotten to know each other pretty well over the past half a year we've been talking with each other in the small community, and in a small private group chat this one other member had invited the both of us to. Turns out the actor whom before I knew it, I became close with was a beta male.
Our online friendship started off small. We first started to get to know each other by both being members on the community. I remember one of the first times we began to get to know each other was when I asked him a question about one of my favorite books about helpful ways in auditioning to get the role you want as an actor. I asked him where to read it online on, as I was interested in reading a bit of the book, as a favorite actor of mines mentioned it one time during one of his radio interviews. My online beta friend told me the site to read a few chapters of at. I thought of how kind and thoughtful he was after helping me out so quickly and kindly, soon after we started to get to know each other little by little better as the days went by. While a month or so, around early summer, after we got invited to this group of small friends' private group chat, we started to become more close with each other as friends. We would spend half of the day talking to each other. It was somewhere around mid to late august, as to when I became a bit busy due to me starting to focus more on practicing for this upcoming performance I'm planning on putting on with Asahi in early winter. I decided to take a good while's break from online social interaction with others, but I told the ones whom were apart of the group chat my good friend and I were apart of that I will be back, just not sure as to when.
I finally gotten a small week and a half's break from practicing for my performance with Asahi and the others around mid October. After two and a half months of being away from interacting with them, I decided to spend a good half of my break by stopping by to greet my online friends again. However, what started off as a simple greeting, didn't exactly go as planned. I noticed and eventually came to the realization that he was starting to avoid me. Not entirely sure the exact reason as to why, honestly. All I am aware is of our history with not agreeing with each other on certain preferences when it came to stuff. Some of it was sex position related things. While I may have found distaste and was against his preferences, I still respected him as a person, and really appreciated my friendship with him and his loyalty towards me. I feel as if one of the main reasons as to why our friendship lessend was since the day he began to hang out with this small group of two other people. To tell you the truth, I never really liked those two that he started to become quite close friends with. I never was really fond of how they treated others, and was so keen on starting and getting involved in drama. I remember him mentioning as to how he has became good friends with the both of them. I was pretty surprised and a bit disappointed, to be honest. I couldn't really understand it, however I just sent him some advice his way, and hoped for the best for him. Afterwards, it started to seem as if he tried to avoid me. I tried several times to talk to him, but he just left me on read and ignored all of my messages. Last time I talked to him, I ran into a problem with someone else on another social media place. I tried to talk to him, but he started to say something about a sex preference, and it was a bit offensive honestly. I honestly think he was trying to direct it specifically at me to try and hurt my feelings. I replied back to him, 'cause it honestly didn't sound like him and I was confused as to why he would say something so offensive to me, but I've never gotten a reply back from him since. I remember telling Rui about it. He told me to just give him some space. Haven't talked to him in about a little over a month now.
I honestly believe that he just lost interest in me and has moved on. I'm still trying to recover from him avoiding me for whatever reason, however even after what he and I both went through, I still love and care for him as a dear friend. Perhaps he is just confused and going through some life problems. I have lost all of my online friends after he left me, though. He was the only one I had left. My loneliness is starting to really get to me more than ever these days ever since I have been inactive on social media.
The community has also became quite quiet and a bit inactive. I often see some members online every now and then, so at least I know that they are doing okay.
I was beat tired by the time I had came home. Saki greeted me at the door. "Big brother! Welcome back. Did you enjoy your day?" She took a small step closer to me then sniffed. "Hm... You kinda smell like alcohol... Your usual omega scent is sorta creamy, milky and smells like peaches, but that alcohol smell kinda overpowers it." Before she could ask further, I replied.
"Someone from the troupe took me out somewhere. I couldn't just decline as they are always so kind to me, so I accepted their request and went with them." I started to walk past her, and made my way into the living room.
"Oh. Well, that was nice of them." she replied.
she jogged her way lightly to the living room so she can catch up with me. "By the way, mom started to get a little bit worried about you, 'cause you've been out longer than usual."
Before I could answer her, there she was in the kitchen.
"Tsukasa!... Where were you? You don't know how worried your father and I were!... I would've texted you, but I forgot to give you my spare phone..." she said with concern. Wearing her apron over her outfit she wears for inside the house. She held a soup serving spoon in her right hand.
"It's okay mother really. I'm alright. Someone from my troupe invited me out somewhere and I accepted the invite."
"Were they an alpha? Did he try to put his hands on you or force himself on you?" she placed both hands on both my shoulders, as she looked at me straight in the eyes.
"It's okay mother, really. Yes he's alpha, No he didn't touch or force himself on me. He just took me out at this small bar which sells some food and alcoholic drinks." I said a bit quietly.
"Just be careful. You don't know what those alphas could do to you." she sighed as if she were disappointed in my decision to accept Asahi's offer.
Just as I was about to make my way upstairs to my room, she walked back to the stove in the kitchen, then turned to say to me,
"You know, I'm also not very happy that you would spend your time alone with a male alpha like that at a bar."
"I know you're not happy with my decision, mother. I'm just trying to make my own decisions for now."
I said to her. I made a small sigh then headed upstairs to my room.
Luckily my mother can't see me very well while I'm upstairs in my room. I've always wondered as to why we just can't install a rod of curtains so I can get some more privacy, but seeing as to how overprotective my parents are, especially my mother, I think I sort of understand as to why.
I placed my bag of practice clothes and other personal items onto the floor, then threw myself onto my bed.
I placed my left hand atop of my forehead, then sighed.
"Today's been such a long day... I'm soo tired..." I stared at the ceiling for a bit, then slowly closed my eyes. Before I knew it, I fell into a deep sleep.
"It looks like you and the baby are getting through this pretty well." a voice which resembles my mother's called out.
"Huh?..." everything in front of me seemed a bit fuzzy and hazy. I suddenly felt a hand rest over my stomach. The touch was a bit cold, but it soon warmed up after a few seconds of resting over my stomach.
I quickly blinked and my eyesight quickly became clear. I noticed my mother sitting in front of me.
'is this... my room?...' I thought to myself. 'no... it's not. Where am I?...' I tried to look around, but my mother spoke out to me.
"oh!... You should eat something, Tsukasa. Here. It's important to eat while you're pregnant. Got to have enough nutrients for both you and the baby, after all."
"What?..." Confused, I looked down towards my stomach and put a hand over it.
It's very round and swollen, and the clothes I'm wearing aren't my usual clothes either. A maternity gown.
I looked at the item in front of me which my mother handed to me. A hamburger.
"I used to eat these a lot while I was pregnant with you." she said with a small chuckle.
"Oh. Heh, yeah. I remember you telling me that a few times. Thanks." I said with a smile. I grabbed the hamburger and started to unwrap its wrapper.
I'm confused, but honestly, I don't mind this.
I've been lonely for such a long time. While everyone else around me were in romantic relationships and got to experience sex and being cared for from a romantic partner, I've just been pretending to be happy and fine with not having a romantic partner unlike them.
I've especially been longing to have sex with my could-be romantic partner for such a long time now. My body and mind has been craving for it.
Lately, I've grown to start to like the idea of being pregnant. I've been interested in wanting to know what it feels like to carry a child in my belly. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I'll ever get that opportunity before my eggs start to dry up.
But this... this feels nice. It's something I've always wanted. I began to give my belly gentle rubs as I took a small bite of the burger. I then noticed where I most likely am. A hospital. My mother must be visiting me.
A warm smile came to my face after I chewed then swallowed. "It's good." I said.
I then, found myself lying on my bed in my room, with my hand resting on my stomach.
"Oh... I must've fallen asleep."
"Big bro, dinner's ready." my sister's voice came through my bedroom door.
I sat upright a bit and looked towards the door.
"Alright. I'll be there in a bit." I said with a sigh.
Dinner was soup with a bowl of rice, and some fried chicken. I was unusually hungry more than usual after I woke up from that dream. Had to go to the restroom to pee almost every 5 minutes or so.
"Big bro, where are you going?" My sister Saki asked, holding a pair of chopsticks below her mouth, grains of rice on the edges of the sticks.
"Um, to the bathroom." I said making my way towards upstairs, getting up out of my seat.
"Again? You've been going every few minutes or so. Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, a concerned look on her face as she turned to look at me.
"Yeah, I'm alright. Must be all the water I drinked today during practice." I said rubbing the back of my head with my right hand.
"Oh. Well, as long as you're feeling well, then that's all that matters." Saki said giving me a kind smile.
"Thank you, Saki. I really appreciate it." I gave her a warm smile back, then made my way upstairs, towards my room, to get to my bathroom.
my increase in appetite has also been quite strange, next to me going pee every 5 minutes. It is almost as if I'm showing signs of early stages of pregnancy.
I just want to forget about it all. I want to forget about Rui rejecting me. I want to forget Rui, Nene, and Emu talking about their sex lives and telling me how good sex is, then them feeling sorry for me 'cause I never had a romantic partner to have sex with before. I want to forget the time the person I got closest to started to avoid me and not talk to me anymore. I want to forget about the fact that I have not yet had sex with a romantic partner before. I know I may be sounding a bit over dramatic, but I'm honestly just tired of life. Sometimes I just wish I can start at least a year over. This year started off great, but the last few months have been really hard on me.
"Oh, dear prince. Please do not say such things to me. While, it may be true that we are indeed both young men, princes of our kingdoms, sons of both very powerful and loyal kings, gender and being from two different kingdoms should not matter when it comes to our romantic feelings for each other. I love you and I wish to wed you as my groom." I stood where the tape was on the stage floor, the show spotlight shining right on me, making me bathed under the spotlight. I stretched my right arm out towards the actor who's playing the role of prince stella.
"Romeo." Asahi's voice boomed through the theater. He was standing towards the edge of the stage. The spotlight shined above him, making him being basked beneath the spotlight. His skin seamed to gleam while he stood beneath the light, accentuating his alpha features. Strapped On the right side of his hip, was a stage prop sword. He slowly began to walk towards me in a princely manner, the spotlight following him.
"My lovely prince Romeo. While it is true that you are not a princess, yet you emit such beauty. I have been struck by your beauty since the day I met you. I wish to wed you as well. However, my parents forbid me from marrying anyone other than the princess whom they assigned me to marry. Our parents both loathe each other, I am afraid. They would never allow me to marry a supposed enemy. I'm truly sorry, my dear Romeo. I love you with all my heart, but I'm forbidden to be your partner." Asahi got down on one knee, and took me by the hand to then give it a light kiss.
While trying my best to stay in character, I was caught off guard and my face turned beat red. I am aware of the kiss scene, due to it being apart of the script. The only problem is Asahi plays the role of the prince. The same Asahi who took me out for a few drinks. The same Asahi who seemed as if he were interested in me.
His team set up this story themselves, along with a bit of help in stage and acting directing from Rui. Asahi wanted to play the role as the main lead, prince Stella. He was so eager to play that role.
"So, Tsukasa. You're okay with not playing the lead role for once, right?" He asked me once back when we decided to do the play back in early August. We were standing outside of the indoor theatre.
"Yes. I'm fine with it. Besides, prince Romeo is like a co-star lead in this, since he's important to prince Stella." I said while while slowly flipping through the heavily stapled pages of the script. Resting my hand underneath my chin in thought, examining my lines.
I felt Asahi's eyes stare at me. "That's excellent. I was planning on casting you as prince Romeo in the first place, seeing as how you have some experience with playing the role of Romeo in other adaptions of the character back in the past." He said with a smile.
"Oh... Well, that is true I suppose." I said, while I fixed my eyes back onto the pages of the script.
I woke up a bit late for practice today. Afraid I would miss my train, I hurried and got ready.
Thank goodness there was still some space to sit on the subway train. I'd hate to stand, as I'm going to be standing all day during our last practice a night before our actual show. Also, I'm a bit tired due to lack of sleep, and dealing with my loneliness and waves of being a bit down a lot has been a bit energy draining for me both physically and mentally.
I threw myself onto the light blue seats and gave a deep sigh and closed my eyes.
"I'm so tired..." I said quietly to myself. I suddenly felt a familiar presence walk past me.
"Huh?" I looked up to find a young man with purple and blue short hair, wearing a pair of silver rimmed prescription glasses and a light gray business suit with a black tie.
"Oh? Well if it isn't Tsukasa." The familiar man spoke out. "Long time no see, star." He gave a slight polite nod, and made a small smile as he looked down towards me from where he was standing. He took his left hand from out of his dress pants pocket, and reached to grab hold onto the strap handles hanging from the inside of the bus ceiling.
"Oh. Rui. Hello. It's been a while." I said while trying to adjust the shoulder strap on my sports bag which was on my right shoulder.
"It has been about almost half a year since I last saw you in person, Tsukasa." He then slightly arched his back a bit to take a closer look at me.
"I see you've let your hair grow out a bit. Planning on having it long?" Rui asked.
"Ah, yes, actually. I thought it was time for a change." I said to him, while my eyes found themselves looking towards the floor. I shuffled my feet and squirmed a bit while in my seat. My hands clasped tightly together between my legs. Even though it's been a long while since we last talked in person like this, I was getting nervous and jittery as if this is my first ever time talking with him.
We've known each other since we were high school students. Even though we differed when it came to our personalities, we were very much alike in terms of both being seen as weird and a bit of a loner. As for me, the only friends I had back then were my sister and my parents. I had Touya and Shizuku as childhood friends, but I rarely got to see them, and over time as we got into junior high, we started to hang out together less and less often. Rui's childhood friend is Nene, and another whom he befriended sometime in Junior high is Mizuki.
I've grown to fall for Rui and developed romantic feelings for him soon after we both performed our first Halloween show together as wonderlands x showtime. I assumed it was just a one-sided crush, as even back then, I was sort of aware Rui had romantic feelings for his best friend Nene, therefore he most likely had no interest in someone like me.
"Changes are good. Everything and everyone goes through and experiences change
He then gave a warm, gentle smile as he turned to look at me.
"But you know, you're going to look like even more like your mother with that soon to be long hair of yours." He gave a small chuckle.
"Oh. Thank you." I said, with my face getting a bit red.
"So, how are you?" Rui asked.
"I'm doing fine." I said to him shyly.
"Have you been performing in any shows while I was away?" he asked.
"Ah, yes. Actually, Asahi and his troupe and I are practicing to perform a show together along with his troupe. We are planning on performing it soon."
Rui isn't aware of any of the performances I work on at the theater where Asahi and I are involved in. Rui is a busy man, and a bit after we decided to disband our own troupe, wonderlands x showtime back when Nene and Emu graduated. It was hard to focus on college courses while also trying to focus on practice for our shows at the same time. So, it was sort of a relief when both of the girls had graduated.
but, well... he is actually aware of "The forbidden love of prince Stella and prince Romeo", as he did help with a bit of the stage and acting direction here and there. what goes on during behind the scenes however. I believe he wouldn't leave me alone if he ever were to see Asahi pecking kisses on my hand. Knowing him and Nene, they'd probably both tease me over that.
"Oh. You mean "The forbidden love of prince Stella and prince Romeo", right? Glad to hear that it's going well for you and Asahi and the others."`8i
I ran into Rui while taking the morning train to the place where the in door theater where I'm going to perform with Asahi and the others is at.
(*move drinking w asahi and tsukasa scene after scene where asahi asks him out for a few drinks.*)
He suddenly asked me the question while we were out for a drink together. "So, Tsukasa... when you're on your heats, do you feel yourself up, play with yourself, and jerk off while doing it raw?... I mean, I don't think you could possibly sneak any lube without your parents knowing, seeing as how overprotective they are."
I almost choked on my wine.
"Well... That's a bit of a personal question, don't you think?"
"Sorry... I was just curious, since I don't know too many male omegas, besides you."
I didn't own any lube. I heard that vaseline is a good substitute for it, however. Just the thought of me smearing the stuff onto my fingers then rubbing my fingers around my pussy, makes my pussy jolt and pulsate with excitement.
"No. It's alright. I know you are just curious, as you are an alpha and all." I said while holding the small glass of wine in my right hand, stirring the glass around.
there was a brief pause for a moment between us. With all that was heard was the chatter between a few other people chattering and drinking around us.
"Uhm..."
I broke the silence, with my answer to him.
"I... I do actually..."
"Own lube?" Asahi suddenly asked. he scooted forward a bit in his seat.
"wha?, No! I mean... yeah, I play with myself and finger my pussy and such. I try and do it raw but... I... sort of have a hard time reaching down there..." my face grew beet red.
"Oh... Is it because." He said with a brief pause. "Tsukasa... are you hairy down there?..."
This conversation is getting awkward and embarrassing.
I nodded my head.
"Oh. I see... well, yeah. I can sort of see as to why you would have trouble at times." he said.
"Y-yeah..."
"Don't you get lonely fingering yourself and playing with yourself? It would probably be easier for you if someone helped you you know." Asahi asked curiously. He then leaned a bit closer resting his hands underneath his chin, elbows resting against the edge of the table. The gaze in his eyes seemed sharp and piercing.
"No... not really. I mean, there are times as to where I long for an alpha to hold me close, and for them to fuck me but only while I'm on my heats. I'm sure it's just my omega instincts wanting to have sex with an alpha so bad."
while this may be true, I sort of half lied. I've been lonely and seem as if I've been caged for half my life, so of course I've been extremely lonely to the point where I'm pretty much desperate at this point for any alpha, especially an alpha male, to fuck me. While I'm aware that there's a pretty high chance I could get pregnant from having sex with an alpha, as I don't really take my birth control pills very often, I'm not as worried about such things anymore. Sometimes, when I play with myself, I assume I sometimes do it as a sort of desperate cry for help, next to just being horny over lewd thoughts or the signs of my heat beginning to start. Even though I will whine, cry, and moan and scream out my friends' names, I'm always only fingering myself and feeling myself up alone, with no one to hear or see me.
I've been closed off for so long. It's as if a part of me decided to lock myself away out of pure embarrassment, due to feeling as if I'm not loved enough.