Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You stand atop a mountain overlooking the city you once called home. The air is cold but you don’t mind the chill, you don’t mind anything. The world abandoned you, your love abandoned you. In your time of need, you found yourself reaching out for help only to be left hanging.  

You recall the moments of the fateful night, the night your child vanished. Every time you close your eyes, try to sleep, or try to think, you’re haunted by the unknown. You aren’t one to hope, the most you can muster is hoping that whatever happened, happened fast. 

They weren’t suicidal, or at least, you hadn’t noticed if they were. It was just a stupid argument. They wanted to stay with their friend after their ballet class, if you had said yes they would still be here. Why did they have to run away? Why didn’t you chase them? Why are you here when they aren’t? 

You stare down the chasm atop the mountain. Six children, one of which was your own, were headed to the mountain before they vanished. You shudder. Is this what each one of them felt before they jumped down? 

You turn around and look back at the world that scorned you. Your love couldn’t bear to be around you, they said you looked too much like your child. You didn’t try to stop them from leaving, after all, you couldn’t look into a mirror without catching a glimpse of your child. It’s been four years and all your friends and family moved on, but the dreadful feeling you failed keeps you chained to the past.

You turn back to the chasm. One step and everything would be out of your hands forever. You grit your teeth and take a step toward the chasm. Your heart pounds and your body shakes. You feel as if your emotions clash with your rational thoughts and fight for dominance, for the right to determine your fate, but you made up your mind before ascending the mountain. 

You take a photograph out of your pocket. It’s the last photo you have of your child. They were so happy, years of ballet led to them being front and center in the recital. You just had to ruin it. You sign and pocket the photo. 

What is there to go back to? A world that’s moved on? An empty apartment? The ever-present emptiness you feel when you pass by their room? Ever since they died you merely existed, if there is an alternative it’s lost to you. You take one last step forward and plunge into the dark below. 

…

You’re lying on your back and you can feel a soft bed of flowers under your back. You stand up with shaky legs, your head pounding all the while. You look around and see that the world around you is pitch black, the only light is the light that shines from above. The only way to go is forward, a short hallway leading to a single door is the only feature you see. 

You stumble forward, leaning against the side of the room for support. Your leg screams in pain but it could be worse, by some miracle nothing is broken. You don’t know if you can attribute this to good or bad luck. Somehow you failed and now your child is farther away than ever before. The lack of a body should give you hope, but to you, it just means they suffered before they died. 

You go through the door and walk into an open room. When you try to walk without the help of a wall you fall forward. Blinking back tears you look around for anything that might help you. You notice that directly in front of you is another door, this one filled with light. You start to crawl over to it. The sound of approaching footsteps makes you stop. 

Before jumping you thought the worst-case scenario would be surviving the fall and landing on a pile of small corpses. The thought that anything is alive inside Mt. Ebott is a thought that never crossed your mind. Could this mean that your child is alive? Maybe surviving the fall was a blessing? Perhaps you could see your child again. 

You hear a gasp and you turn your head to see a strange woman. She wears a purple gown sporting a symbol that you don’t recognize, that’s where the normalcy ends. Her head is that of a goat, in fact, the parts of her body that aren’t covered by the gown are covered in white fur. Her eyes are closer to a human’s than a normal goat’s they are on the front of her head and her pupils are like a human’s as well. Unlike a normal goat, a pair of fangs seem to poke out of her mouth. 

You do your best not to stare in awe but the goat’s expression makes you think you failed, though it might also be because she’s surprised to see a human down here. 

“Hello, dear, are you alright?” She asks. 

“G-goat.” You hear yourself say. 

She tilts her head. “That’s not the first time I’ve been called that by a human.” She chuckles. “Though It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a human adult who was surprised by the sight of a monster. Unfortunately, only children have fallen since we were sealed down here.”  

“I-I didn’t mean to.” You stutter. 

The goat smiles warmly. “It’s okay, dear, I imagine that this is a lot to take in.” She approaches you slowly. “You look hurt.” She points out. 

You nod. “Yes, ma’am.” You reply. 

You can’t remember the last time you met someone new. You find your chest tightening as you try and talk to the goat woman. You never realized how shy you became after your love left. You never had the energy to get out of bed, just going to work was enough to wipe you out for the rest of the night, and skipping meals didn’t help either. You can’t remember the last time you even met someone new. 

The goat woman kneels in front of you. “Please, tell me what’s bothering you.” 

You do your best to sit up from your prone position but every small movement causes sparks of pain all over your body. After a few minutes, you feel a fluffy paw on your shoulder and you pause. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” Reassures the goat.  

You see a vibrant, green light emanate from the goat’s paws. Warmth begins to flow into your body and your aches and pains begin to fade away. After a few seconds, the pain is completely gone and you feel more invigorated than you have in years. The light fades and the goat woman helps you to your feet. 

“Th-thank you.” You say. 

“It’s no problem.” The goat smiles. 

“I forgot to introduce myself, I am Toriel, the caretaker of these ruins.” She says. 

You introduce yourself. She leads you to the next room. A few seconds after you step into the light she takes a sudden step back. Her eyes grow wide and her paws shake. 

“Are you okay?” You ask. 

Toriel takes a deep breath and composes herself. “I’m sorry, dear, you just look like someone I used to know.” Her voice is close to its usually soft tone, but you’re able to pick up a faint sadness. 

You know that you look like your child. For a moment you’re excited, she knew what your child looked like, which means they survived the fall, but where are they now?  

“Oh… oh no.” Whispers the goat, the color draining from her face. 

Her tone causes your heart to sink. You have a feeling that you’re not going to like the answer but you ask her about your child. 

“That… requires some explaining.” Toriel answers. “Monsters aren't always friendly toward humans, and some can be a bit too friendly.” She motions for you to follow her and you both walk across the room, up some stone steps. “Not every aggressive monster hunts humans, some don’t even know what a human is.”

“If they don’t know what a human is, why would they attack their own kind?” You ask. 

“Monsters are resistant to magic, unless a monster genuinely means to cause harm, an attack won’t do much more than ward off their opponents.” Explains the goat. “Humans don’t have that luxury.” 

“So a monster might harm a human without meaning to?” 

Toriel nods. “Your child was terribly frightened when they fell down here.” She looks down and you catch sadness in her eyes. “Another monster found them before I did and they were injured. I tried to help them but they ran away.” 

“Please, miss Toriel, if there’s any chance that they’re alive I have to know.” You urge. 

“I found dust scattered in some remote parts of the ruins. The remains of slain monsters.” 

You feel cold. Surely the goat was mistaken, your child would never hurt anyone. 

“I doubt they meant to harm anyone. We monsters tend to be weak when it comes to human attacks and if we don’t want to fight we become even weaker.” Toriel adds optimistically.

“Is there any way out of the ruins?” You ask. 

Toriel hesitates. Sighing the caretaker answers. “There’s two ways and I would’ve known if they went out through the main path. If they made it out of the ruins then they must’ve gone through the lower sections.” 

“How can I get there?” You practically beg. 

Toriel steps on a few plates on the ground. A door opens up soon after. “Follow me.” She says. 

Toriel guides you into a long room with switches lining the wall. Each switch has already been pressed except for one, it and one other switch make up the pair closest to exit on the right. A tarp covers the ground beneath one of the switches. 

“The last child who came here… they fell into the Dark Ruins. I never saw them again.” The goat laments. 

“I’m sorry.” You answer, trying to cheer Toriel up. 

“I never removed the rope. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I keep thinking that one day the human might find their way back.” Toriel sighs. “Once you’re down there I’m going to cover the hole again, I don’t want any monsters falling down.” 

“I understand.” You say. “Thank you.” You start walking towards the hole. 

“Wait.” The caretaker calls out. 

You turn back to Toriel. 

“I have to warn you that you shouldn’t expect to find your child.” She clenches her paws, and a grief-stricken look appears on her face. “The king, Asgore, declared war on humanity, vowing that any human that falls down here shall die and their souls be used in breaking the barrier.” She sighs. “Over the years I’ve seen many humans pass through here and though I can’t know for certain, I feel it in my soul each time one of them passes.” 

You look away from the caretaker. “I have nothing to return to. I never expected to survive the fall, let alone have this chance to learn of my child’s fate.” You state determination in your voice. 

“I see. Good luck, dear. I hope you find what you’re searching for.” Toriel smiles. 

“I hope so too.” You say as you turn towards the hole. 

…

The Dark Ruins are barren. You find yourself having more trouble navigating them than dealing with monsters. In fact, you only run into a single monster, a large bat that sleeps on the roof of one of the rooms. You quietly pass them and they pay you no mind. 

It’s not until you come across a house built into the ruins that things become interesting. The air is colder than that of the rest of the ruins and upon searching through the living space you learn why. Directly across from the entrance is another room sporting a door leading to a vast open area. Looking through the door you spot snow. 

Curious, you exit and stumble into the snow. Whatever this place is, it’s entirely different from the ruins. Apart from the vast trees, the paths are more open. The ceiling of this place is a vast cave roof covered in blue crystals. 

You continue to walk along the path leading away from the ruins. You’re so caught up in observing the world around you that you fail to notice a humanoid monster crossing your path. A loud gasp causes you to jump. 

“I-it can’t be.” A fearful voice speaks in absolute awe.

You turn to face the direction of the voice and take note of a monster with purple skin, dark hair, and a pair of horns wearing a puffy sweater. They stare at you with fear-filled eyes. 

“Hello.” You greet the monster. 

Electricity arcs around the monster and they take a step back. 

“I won’t let you undo the good that Clover has done! I won’t allow it.” Despite sounding fearful, the monster manages to maintain a firm voice. 

You raise your hands out in front of your chest. “Woah, woah! I don’t want to cause any trouble!” You reassure the monster. The name Clover sounds familiar to you, but in the heat of the moment, you can’t place where you heard it. “You mentioned a Clover? I feel like I’ve heard that name before.” 

The monster hesitantly reaches into his sweater and pulls out a folded piece of paper. He fumbles around with the paper while keeping his eyes on you and after a few minutes, he succeeds in unfolding it. He holds the paper out and you see a drawing of a young boy dressed like he came straight out of a western film. You recall a missing poster that circulated a few months back, six children, one of whom wore the same clothes that the child wears in the illustration. 

“What happened to him?” You ask. 

The monster tries to keep his eyes on you but is overpowered by his grief. He looks away, you can see a tear sliding down his cheek. 

“I… I was told he sacrificed himself.” He sighs and looks back towards you. “I would like to apologize. I almost made the same mistake with you that I made with him.” He walks up to you and holds out his hand. “My name is Dalv.” 

You shake his hand and tell him your name. 

“I’m almost too afraid to ask but… before Clover did you see a human?” Judging by Dalv’s reaction to you, the best question is “What did they do?” but the thought that your child did something that still haunts the monster in front of you makes your skin crawl. 

Dalv nods. 

“You’re really going to make me ask, aren't you?” You sigh in a low, depressed tone. 

“They attacked me and my friend. I would’ve died if I hadn’t…” He trails off. 

“It’s alright.” You murmur. “It would be wrong for me to excuse my child’s actions and not excuse yours when the tables turned.” 

“Were they yours?” Asks the monster. 

“Yes.” You reply, sadness heavy in your voice. “The last time I was with them we argued and they ran off.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I would’ve learned eventually. It’s better now than later.” You fain optimism. “Do you know where they went?” 

The vampire turns and points into the woods. “If they made it to Waterfall, they went straight from the point where they ran.” Dalv answers. 

“Thank you.” You say moving past the monster. 

“What are you doing?” Dalv speaks with concern. 

You stop and turn your head back. “I jumped down here to be with my child. One way or another I’m going to make that happen.” You reply sternly. 

The monster nods uncomfortably and you walk into the woods. 

…

The distance between the exit of the Dark Ruins and the place known as Waterfall isn’t far. It doesn’t take long for the silence of the snowy area to give way to the sound of rushing water. You push your way through the woods and find yourself in a dimly lit, cavernous area. 

The air feels humid against your face as you walk into Waterfall. The blueish, gravely ground seems to shine just as much as the water which rains down in torrents. It’s clear to you why this place is known as Waterfall. Massive pillars of water fall through holes in the Underground’s roof and light shines through them. It’s beautiful, tranquil even. 

The sound of flapping wings catches your attention and you look up to see a bird monster. She wears a simple blue shirt, jeans, and snow boots. Her feathers are blue and her hair is blue, the only other color besides blue on her is the yellow of her beak and the light brown of her boots. 

She lands in front of you and bends over, putting on her wings on her knee and the other in front of her. Somehow she manages to only raise a single feather as if to say “Please give me a minute.” You can hear her panting. 

“H-hello?” You offer, unsure of what to say or do.

The bird monster stands up straight. 

“Hello, I’m Martlet of the- I’m Martlet.” She smiles awkwardly. 

You introduce yourself to Martlet. 

“Oh, another friendly human? That’s great!” The bird smiles and then frowns. “Wait, you’re planning on returning to the surface, right?” She asks. 

You shake your head. 

“Really? So you’re looking for a place to stay?”

You shake your head again. Martlet tilts her head in confusion. 

“That doesn’t make a lot of sense.” The bird states. 

“It does to me.” You reply. 

The bird shrugs. “Well, if you’re planning on anything, I don’t suggest going through Waterfall.” 

“I have no choice. I’m just trying to follow the path of my child.” 

Martlet’s eyes widen. “Your child went to Waterfall?” She asks. 

“It seems that way.” 

“I’m so sorry…” The bird laments. 

“Why are you…? You know what happened to them, don’t you?” You take a shaky breath. “Please, please tell me what happened!” You beg. 

“I-I don’t know if I should.” Martlet says. 

“I have to know. Until only a few hours ago I thought they died from the fall, but now I know they didn’t. I just want to know how they died. It’s all I have left.” You plead. 

Martlet looks sad as she begins to explain. She tells you about a tape she and the previous human found behind the grave of her deceased friend. She tells you of the experiments, of how your child’s soul was used, but most of all she tells you of your child’s demise: a robot named Axis. 

You feel numb. You dared not hope so why do you feel this way? You suppose that there was comfort in believing your child died from the fall. Now, that comfort is replaced with sorrow. The sorrow that comes from imagining the mind of a child that is driven to the point of attacking everyone around them. The sorrow that comes from imagining your child running away after being injured. The sorrow that comes from your child being hunted down by a foe who doesn’t know the definition of mercy and not being there to protect them. 

You turn away from Martlet. 

“Wait! If you go into Waterfall you’ll be killed by Undyne.” The bird shouts panic in her voice. “This is what Dalv was worried about when he sought me out!” 

What is it with these monsters caring about your well-being? What happened to the ruthless killers that Toriel described? 

“I’m sorry, but even before I knew this place existed, this was always a one-way trip.” You say as you walk into Waterfall. 

“They wouldn’t want this.” Martlet urges. 

You stop walking. “Even if it isn’t, it’s what I deserve.” You retort. 

“I can’t just let you walk to your death!” Martlet argues. 

“You barely know me. Why do you care if I live or die? Hell, you should be happy, with my death you’re one step closer to freedom.”  

“A friend of mine thought the same thing! He gave his life so we might one day be free and so that we wouldn’t have to spend our lives worrying about his safety. But I would’ve done it! I would’ve put everything on the line for him.” Martlet blinks tears from her eyes. 

You sigh. “I’m sorry, but saving me won’t bring your friend back. I didn’t want anyone to be hurt, no one else was meant to get close to me!” You tremble, starting to walk forward. “Forget about me. It’s what’s best for everyone.” 

You walk deeper into Waterfall, leaving behind the sobbing monster. You don’t know how long you walk for, you don’t even know where you’re going. Tears blur your vision. You wish you’d just died from the fall. Things would’ve been so much easier. You never wanted to hurt anyone, you promised yourself that you wouldn’t take anyone with you, yet just laying eyes on you was enough for the bird monster’s wounds to reopen. 

You grit your teeth. Nothing good would’ve happened if you stayed. The less people who know about you, the better. 

“Human.” A deep, feminine voice growls from behind you. The way she says the word makes it seem like an insult. “Turn around and face me.” It orders. 

You turn around and face a towering figure. They wear full plate armor, their helmet sports a face that sends shivers down your spine, and in their hands is a blue, glowing spear. 

“You stand in the way of everyone’s hopes and dreams!” They growl. “I’ll rip the soul from your chest and with it, my people will finally be free.” 

You say nothing. 

“What’s wrong with you?! Why are you just standing there? Are you too afraid to move?!” They spit. 

“Just do what you have to do.” You mutter, too tired to move. 

With impossible speed the armored monster charges. They grip your neck tightly making it impossible to breathe. 

“You’re trying to trick me! A human would never willingly give up their soul! They’re too determined for that!” The monster shouts. 

As the monster prepares to thrust her spear into your chest you feel something flaring up inside of you. It makes your heart beat faster than ever before, beads of cold sweat form on your skin, and a single thought forces its way into the front of your mind: “Survive.” 

You reach out and grip the tip of the spear before the monster can thrust it forward. You can feel warm blood pooling between your fingers as you put everything into keeping the spear in place. 

“I knew it.” The monster mutters. 

It throws down and your head bounces against the rough ground. Your ears ring and your vision is blurry but you can just make out the fast-flowing river to your side. 

The monster readies their spear but you quickly leap into the water. You feel a sharp pain in your thigh and any control you have over yourself is ripped away. The last thing you see before losing consciousness is the bottom of the river seconds before your head collides with it. 

… 

Your entire body aches. You open your eyes to find yourself lying half-submerged in a shallow lake. You don’t know how long you’ve been lying there but the half of your body that isn’t underwater is dry. You feel for the photo in your pocket and breathe a sigh of relief upon feeling it. You manage to pull yourself out of the water. The ground beneath you is sandy. 

The sky above you is the same as the rest of the Underground, however, a large stone that shines brightly is lodged into a far-off wall. The stone has the appearance of the Sun, and it seems to serve the same purpose. Judging by the dry ground, you conclude it does so a bit too well. 

You try to stand but quickly fall back down. You look at your thigh and see a large hole. You aren’t going to be walking on that leg. You begin to awkwardly pull yourself along the ground, unfortunately, the lake stops at the shore you woke up on meaning you have nothing to follow. 

Eventually, you manage to get in a rhythm but you quickly find yourself deteriorating. You can’t remember the last time you’ve had anything to drink, a depressing thought given where you woke up, and your injury isn’t doing you any favors. 

Why did you have to fight it? Why didn’t you just stay still? Now instead of finally being with your child again you’re suffering, and the worst part is that no one is going to find your soul when you die. If the armored monster was wrong about you standing in the way of monsterkind’s freedom before, she was definitely right now. You screwed everything up. 

Your hand misses the ground and you find yourself tumbling down a large dune. You try to orient yourself but don’t have the strength to move. The only thing worse than the pain in your body is the disgusting crunch of sand in your mouth. After some struggle, you manage to get on your back. 

You can’t help but chuckle at the situation you got yourself into. Some call suicide selfish, so you decide to isolate, you convince yourself that no one wants you and now that you’re finally staring down death you want to live. No wonder your child left. They probably had a better chance down here than with you on the surface. 

You hear footsteps approaching and you try to turn your head towards their source but your neck refuses to move. 

“Is that the human Martlet called me about?” You hear a woman ask herself under her breath. 

You try to say something but only manage to cough. The sand in your mouth manages to make the word dry seem pleasant. The footsteps speed up for a few seconds before stopping. A few seconds after they stop you see the face of a fox monster looking down at you. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, but I need to move you.” She states. 

You feel your heart skip a beat as the fox woman manages to lift you effortlessly. The moment of surprise passes as pain shoots through your leg.

“Sorry, but I don’t trust my healing magic enough to heal you out here. Sand might get trapped in the wound.” The fox woman explains. “I’ll take you to my home, angel knows I have the room to spare.” 

The fox woman holds you close to her body as she carries you, the silky fur on her arms is almost enough to numb the pain in your body. Your eyelids begin to grow heavy and you find yourself fighting to stay awake. 

“We’re close, just keep your eyes open.” The fox urges. 

However, you find yourself unable to resist. The last thing you hear before everything fades away is a frustrated “damn it” from the fox woman. 

…

The first thing you notice is the dull throb of your head. The next is that your mouth is noticeably less sandy. The last thing is that every slight movement you make is followed by an ache. 

You open your eyes and light nearly blinds you. You blink as your eyes adjust and the throbbing in your head becomes pounding. When your eyes adjust you find yourself alone. You feel for the photo in your pocket but find nothing. You aren’t wearing the clothes you were before you passed out. 

You aren’t quite sure what you’re wearing. The design is Japanese, a lot of the decorations in the room around you seem to come straight from Japan. Normally this would interest you, but finding the photograph takes priority. 

You swing your legs over the side of the bed. Your body feels weak but your thigh feels better than ever before. As you rise to your feet you quickly realize that your body isn’t well enough to keep you upright. You fall, managing to turn your body just enough for your side to take the brunt of the impact. 

Loud footsteps quickly approach and you hear a door open. A sigh informs you of the fox woman’s presence. 

“What is it with you humans and being so persistent in harming yourselves?” She says, lifting you back on the bed. 

“Pl-please, I-I n-need the ph-ph-photo.” You stutter nervously. 

You are anything but brave. The only things that might be considered brave that you’ve done could be explained away by you simply being indifferent. So being completely in the fox woman’s domain, wearing clothes provided by her, and only being alive because of her strikes your nerves about as hard as you were thrown at the ground by the armored monster. 

“Oh, here.” She says producing a photo and handing it to you. “It was waterlogged so I decided to restore it.” 

You hold the photo in your hands. Before the photograph was faded and wrinkled; years of being in your pocket had done a number on it. Now, it’s brand new, as if you just had it produced. 

“Thank you.” You say gratefully. 

“That’s why you came down here, isn’t it?” The fox sighs. “Judging by the impression you had on Martlet, you might be a fool but you aren’t naive.” 

You stare at the photo, and a sense of guilt rises inside of you. When you finally look away from the photo you realize this is the first time you’re able to get a good look at the fox woman. Her fur is tan in color and she has long, fiery hair, that’s tied back by a red bow. If a word exists that can describe her expression it would have to be “intense.” 

“Thank you for helping me, but I should go.” You say. 

The fox woman shakes her head. “You can’t even walk by yourself.” The fox states. 

“Look, I don’t want to be an inconvenience-”

“Stop punishing yourself.” The fox seems to direct her voice into your very soul. Her expression is stern, eyes boring through your head, and her face hardened. “You might think you’re sparing people by putting yourself down but I promise you that you’re only making it worse.” 

Your mouth feels dry and you try to say something but your mind is completely blank. 

The fox woman clears her throat. “Let’s start over. I’m Ceroba Ketsukane.” 

You manage to squeak out your name. 

“How are you feeling?” She asks. 

“Terrible.” You answer immediately feeling like an idiot for answering in only a single word. 

“I’m surprised it’s not worse. You humans are something else.” Ceroba replies. 

You fail to comprehend how you could be any better after what happened. Ceroba seems to notice this and her expression softens. 

“I’m afraid that I don’t know a lot about humans, most of what I know for a fact comes from the last human who fell down here.” Ceroba explains. 

“Th-the one who sacrificed themselves?” You ask. 

The fox woman nods. “If I could do it all again I would never have let them do it.” She sighs. “They thought that it would help us but instead we’re waiting for their death to pay off while Monsterkind celebrates the death of one of the purest angels to grace our slice of hell.” Ceroba sighs. “That’s enough of that, let’s just focus on getting you better.” 

You nod and look back at the photo. You know that there’s more to the story than what she told you. It’s something about how she carries herself. She’s guarded, keeping herself distant, but her defenses are far from perfect. Like a wall with giant cracks formed from years of erosion, you can see through it. When peering through the cracks you see yourself and though you have nothing to prove this besides her story, you can almost feel your pain resonating with hers. You shake your head causing the thought to dissipate. It’s nothing but wishful thinking and to project yourself onto another person for your gain is beyond cruel. 

You feel a paw on your shoulder and your heart skips a beat. You face the fox woman who now wears a concerned look. 

“You zoned out.” She states. 

“S-sorry.” 

You notice a plate of food and a cup of water on the nightstand next to your bed. How long did you zone out for? You ignore the thought as you grab the plate. The food on the plate seems to share one common ingredient: corn. 

“My friend’s family has a corn farm. They grow so much that they give me baskets full every harvest. I have more corn than I know what to do with.” Ceroba explains. 

You don’t realize how hungry you are until you start eating. The second your stomach is reminded of its purpose it greedily demands more. In no time at all you clean the plate. The taste is hard to place, but how it makes you feel isn’t. You feel warm, almost nostalgic, and the aches and pains in your body gradually fade. 

“I’ve never eaten anything this good.” You say. 

Ceroba smiles. “Thank you.” She replies. “I normally don’t cook when it’s just myself. I think this might be the first time I’ve used my kitchen since-” She cuts herself off. You stare through a crack in her defenses and once again you see yourself. “It’s been a while.” She finishes and the crack is filled once more. 

“I feel… good.” You say. 

The fox woman nods. “Monster food has that effect. It perfectly distributes energy since it’s primarily made of magic.” 

You move your arm and notice that the fatigue is gone. 

“I wouldn’t try walking by yourself yet. Some injuries take more than a plate of corn chowder to heal.” Convinces Ceroba, seemingly reading your mind. 

“I understand.” You sigh. 

“Look…” The fox woman breathes. “...you’ve barely spent any time in the underground, maybe you should stick around for a little while?” She offers. 

You look down. This is what you’ve been trying so hard to avoid. Letting people get attached to you would only hurt them. Still, you feel like Ceroba’s trying to help you is for more than just your physical injuries. It feels like she knows what you’re going through. Her words, telling you not to punish yourself, echo in your mind. Do you deserve this? What happens if you say no? She isn’t going to let you walk out of here until you can do so yourself. What will she do if you agree to stay for a while? 

“It’s not easy to forgive yourself and it’s even harder to face yourself. The fact that you’re down here tells me you haven’t done either.” The fox remarks. 

You chuckle at your helplessness. “I tried. I really did try. Maybe I could’ve gotten to a place where I could’ve lived a normal life, but my love… they said I looked too much like our child.” Chuckling turns to sobs. “I don’t blame them but at the same time, it’s hard not to feel abandoned.” Sobs become throes of sorrow. “Quite honestly I’m surprised they stayed as long as they did. I’m the one who lost them, hell, I’m the reason they ran off in the first place. Over something stupid as riding home with a friend because I didn’t know their dad?” Your tears quiet and your voice becomes deathly low. “How can I not blame myself when I was the reason they ran off?” 

You see tears in Ceroba’s eyes. “It’s hard.” She answers. “If Clover hadn’t fallen I might never have been able to face my past. I still blame myself but after forgiving myself, living became so much easier.” 

You finally manage to see clearly through the cracks in the fox’s defenses but when you peer through them, you only see yourself staring back at you. The fox woman had told you a whole story, but it isn’t the story you need to hear. 

“What happened?” You ask. 

Ceroba places a paw over your hand and takes a deep breath. 

“I’ll make a deal with you.” She states. “I’ll tell you my story but not all at once. The longer you stay down here, the more I’ll tell you. When I’m done, you can choose whether or not you’ll go through with your… plan.” The fox gazes into your eyes, the orbs full of emotions that seem to connect with your soul. 

What’s the worst that can happen? You find it in you to live with your guilt? You live in a place where you won’t be abandoned? You get a second chance? 

“Okay.” You answer. 

Ceroba nods. “Alright.” She says. “Just rest for now and tomorrow, I’ll show you around.” The fox woman stands up, taking your plate. 

“Thank you.” You say as the fox woman steps out of the room. 

Chapter Text

The start of the next day is spent trying to walk again. Healing magic has its flaws, one of which is that the effectiveness of the magic depends on the user's skill. While Ceroba is undoubtedly skilled in magic, there is a divide between her and Toriel. Of course, it’s obvious why that is, Toriel was alive before the barrier was erected which gave her much more time to hone her skill. Unlike when Toriel healed you, you are now left with a weakness in your leg. You assume that healing skin and flesh is much easier than healing muscle. 

“There’s no need to be nervous.” Ceroba comments on your hesitation to hold onto her. 

“It’s not nervousness.” You lie. It is absolutely nervousness. This is the closest you’ve been to another person in years, let alone someone who seems to care about you. There is also the height factor. You hadn’t noticed it before but Ceroba is TALL. So tall that unless you stand up straight you’re chest level with her, and you wish beyond all else that you were able to stand up straight. “I’m just not sure how to grab onto a monster.” 

The kitsune squints at you. You know she can see right through your words but you don’t know how much of your true thoughts she knows. You can almost hear the cogs in her head moving as she considers how to respond. The best way you can describe her at this very moment is a chess grandmaster seeing how badly they can beat a kid playing checkers. 

“Would you rather I carry you?” Ceroba smirks. 

You grab onto the fox. You don’t know if she’s serious but you know well enough that she could do it effortlessly. You aren’t sure but you think you hear the kitsune chuckle. She’s toying with you, to what end you aren’t sure. If she’s trying to get your mind off of the past, it’s working. As the fox helps you walk across the room your mind swims. Her fur, her heartbeat, and how she effortlessly keeps you standing are the only thoughts in your mind. 

“Are you alright?” Asks Ceroba. 

You nod. “I’m just not used to… this.” You answer. 

“I get it.” Replies the fox. “I wanted to be alone, to be dead to the world, but my friend wouldn’t let me. It didn’t pull me out of it, but it kept me from going over the edge.” 

You look down. “They gave up on me.” You say. 

“If they gave up on you they weren’t your friends in the first place.” The kitsune huffs. “Friendship and family aren’t contractual agreements, they’re everchanging bonds.” The fox continues to help you walk but her paw squeezes your shoulder a bit tighter than before. “Don’t say that they gave up on you, that makes it sound like it’s your fault, and it isn’t. I wouldn’t even say abandoned because that would imply they ever had a chance of helping. The fault lies with them, not you.” 

You find yourself without the strength to walk any further. Ceroba stops before you can even finish your last footstep. 

“How are you able to do that?” You ask. 

“Do what?” 

“Predict me.” 

You hear the fox chuckle. “I don’t want to say that you’re predictable… but… you are kind of predictable.” 

You feel your face start to burn. 

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed about, besides, monsters in general are better with emotions than humans are.” Answers the fox. “That also means we want to hide it, it’s easier to find what needs to be hidden.” 

“I would like to sit down now.” 

The fox helps you turn around and walks you back to the bed. She’s careful not to let go of you until you’re seated firmly. She sits next to you closely, you can feel her fur pressing against your side. Now you know she’s doing this on purpose. 

“I know what you’re trying to do.” You state. 

“What am I trying to do?” Inquires the kitsune, a slight grin on her face. 

“You’re using my shyness against me. Trying to get me to focus on something besides my past.” 

“I thought you said you weren’t nervous?” The kitsune reflects jokingly. 

You bury your face in your hands. She’s in your head, no doubt about it. You are split on what to think. You indeed find it hard to think about anything else but the present moment when she’s close to you, but at the same time, part of you is terrified. What she’s doing, this response, all of this, all of it can come crashing down instantly. 

Your love was the same way. One day you’re comforting each other, making sure everything was fine and that everything was going to be fine, and then the next all there was to remind you that she once loved you was a note and an empty spot on your bed. 

“I don’t like this.” You whisper. 

Immediately Ceroba scoots a few inches away from you and you feel like you can finally breathe. You feel a paw touch your shoulder, it’s gentle and caring. 

“I’m sorry.” Her voice is low, you can tell that it’s one of the few genuine things she’s said all day. “If it’s any consolation, the only reason why I did it was to get a feel for your limits.” Ceroba explains. 

“It’s not your fault, there’s no way you could’ve known I would’ve reacted like that.” You reply. 

Ceroba shakes her head. “I knew you were the kind of guy to hold your cards close to your chest. It makes you feel safe. My husband was the same way.” 

“Was?” You ask. 

Ceroba looks down. “I… suppose I owe you a part of the story.” She sighs. 

A wave of guilt washes over you. “I didn’t mean to pry.” 

“You didn’t pry; besides, I’ve come to terms with it.” Assures the kitsune. 

You nod as you’re unsure of what to say. 

Ceroba clears her throat. “You’re perceptive, I’m sure you’ve picked up on my past involving more than just the previous human.” 

You nod again. 

“I used to have a family, a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter and while I’m able to accept that my husband’s death wasn’t my fault, I can’t say the same for my daughter.” Admits the kitsune. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.” You say instinctively. 

The fox woman smiles sadly. “I appreciate that you don’t think I’m capable of doing such a thing, but unfortunately I can’t deny the role I played in my daughter’s fate.” She sighs. “When I tell you what happened, I’m sure you’ll agree.” 

“You’re saving that for last, aren't you?” 

The kitsune nods. “I agreed to tell you the story in parts and my Kanako’s falling down is the final event in a series of tragedies.” Ceroba answers. 

“I understand.” 

“My husband, Chujin, was always proud of his work. His family was very influential, there isn’t a building in New Home that didn’t have at least their blueprints checked by a Ketsukane.” The fox explains. “Naturally my husband was obsessed with living up to the rest of his family. At first, his obsession was with robotics but his obsession became… unhealthy after an incident in Snowdin that involved Kanako.” 

You feel cold. “Snowdin? …incident?” You shudder. 

Ceroba’s eyes grow wide and fill with regret. “I’m sorry, it was stupid of me to-” 

“Keep going.” 

“What?” 

“I said keep going!” You take a deep breath. “Please.” 

Ceroba nods. “A human appeared in Lower Snowdin. Kanako was with a friend, he managed to fend off the human but not before he got injured. Kanako was never really the same after that and neither was Chujin.” The Fox continues. 

You clench your fists. You know your daughter killed monsters, but why would she attack a child? How could your daughter do such a thing? 

“Chujin then sent one of his robots, Axis, to apprehend her, but his robots were far from perfect. Axis is impressive in his own right, but I learned firsthand that he’s prone to… misconstruing orders.” 

The cold drains from your body leaving behind only a hollow numbness. You don’t even have the energy to clench your fists. 

“Was it quick?” You ask. 

“I wish I could answer that.” Ceroba sighs. “But whatever my husband saw when he went to collect the human’s soul… let’s just say that when I discovered Axis with Clover he was a shell of his former self.” She admits glumly. 

You nod sheepishly. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I know he genuinely didn’t mean to do it. My husband left tapes for me to find so I could continue his work after he died. He hid the tape where he talked about the… neutralization… I didn’t see it until after Clover…” She trails off. 

“I understand.” You respond. 

“Chujin experimented on the soul. He was trying to create a serum that could strengthen the soul of any monster. He tested it on himself but the soul wasn’t pure enough and his soul degraded.” The kitsune murmurs. 

“I’m sorry.” You say. 

Ceroba looks surprised. “That’s it?” She asks, stunned. 

“What else is there to say? Nothing can change the past and nothing can take away the guilt that comes with the knowledge that a stupid argument led to the deaths of innocent people.” You mutter.  “Maybe at first I was able to cope with it, I could pretend that it was all self-defense. You don’t attack a child out of self-defense.” 

“But isn’t that hypocritical? Your child was just that- a child.” The fox retorts. 

You shrug. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. I just know that before I fell I imagined a quick and painless death for my child. Now I know that they were scared and that fear led them to cause harm. They were tough but I never raised them to hit someone when they’re down.” You lament. “I just don’t understand! How could this happen?! How can my child be a killer?!” You sob. 

You feel arms wrap around you as you’re pulled into a tight embrace. Unlike before when the kitsune’s presence was almost intoxicating, now her touch feels soft and tender. Her warmth surrounds you, acting like a barrier to keep all the world's negativity away from you, as the numbness gives way to a pleasant warmth. 

“This isn’t your fault.” Whispers the kitsune. “Taking the guilt upon yourself won’t help anyone, it’ll only hurt you.” Ceroba insists. 

Tears well up and you fight the urge to completely break down. “I just want the pain to stop.” You breathe shakily. 

“It may never.” Ceroba admits. “But if you learn to live with it, you’ll find that you can still live a normal life.” Assures the kitsune. 

“I’m scared, Ceroba.” You tremble. “I’m scared that if I accept what happened if I forgive myself, I’ll have abandoned them, like so many have abandoned me.” 

You feel the kitsune shudder and you realize that at one point or another, she had the same thought. 

Ceroba sighs. “You just have to believe that this is what they would want. If their love for you was even half of your love for them they would want you to move on, to live your life.” 

You want to believe your child would like you to move on, but you don’t feel like you know them anymore. All their struggles and all their pain changed them. The worst part is that no one knows your child as a child, they only know the human that fell and slaughtered innocents. Whether or not they died quickly or slowly, painfully or not, it doesn’t change the fact that they took the lives of those who didn’t deserve it. 

“Things would’ve been so much easier if the fall killed me.” You say. 

“Maybe, but the easy things are rarely worth doing. Nothing good ever comes from taking the easy way out.” States the kitsune. 

You pull away from the fox’s embrace. She looks at you with a concerned expression but doesn’t try to protest. The world seems cold without Ceroba’s warmth surrounding you, but you don’t care. 

“This feels like the easy way out.” You say. 

The kitsune frowns. “Why?” 

You look away from Ceroba. “Your friendship… I don’t deserve it. After everything that happened it feels cheap to just have the chance to leave it all behind.” 

You feel a paw on your shoulder, the fox’s grip is firm but comforting. “I let my grief consume me. I involved an innocent child in it and almost killed them. Yet when I asked them to put me out of my misery they didn’t.” Ceroba takes a shaky breath. “Looking back I’m glad he didn’t do it. It would’ve made a lot of people sad, a lot of people who gave it their all to help me when I was at my worst.” 

You try to talk but find yourself unable to speak. You’re torn between letting your guilt destroy you from the inside and the part of you that wants to move on, but you can’t bring yourself to choose a side. 

“Tell me what’s bothering you. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” Ceroba states. 

You shrug. You know you aren’t being rational and you know that you have your reasons, but when you try to call upon them your mind becomes blank. 

“I don’t know.” You sigh, defeated. 

The kitsune gives you a soft nod. “That’s okay.” She assures. “Maybe we can try walking again, to take your mind off this?” Offers the fox. 

You nod. “I would like that.” 

…

You spend the rest of the day getting a feel for walking again. You aren’t sure why, but the healing process is much quicker than it should be. By nightfall, you’re already able to walk by yourself, though you don’t think you’ll be running anytime soon. You have to focus on your footsteps, one wrong move, and you’re met with either a dull throb or your leg giving out. 

“Undyne meant to kill you.” Ceroba starts. “Magic becomes stronger depending on the intent of its user. There wasn’t any hesitation in Undyne’s actions which is why her attack did so much damage.” Explains the fox. “It also doesn’t help that your guard was down.” She adds. 

You’re sitting on the porch in front of Ceroba’s home. You can’t believe that you’re still in a desert. The area around the home is covered in grass, there’s a garden containing beautiful plants, and a few cherry blossom trees have grown to an impressive height, but they don’t appear to be blooming. 

“So if she attacked me before grabbing me I would’ve been killed?” You ask. 

The kitsune nods. “You’re lucky to be alive.” 

“I just don’t understand how I could go from accepting my fate to wanting to flee.” You reply. 

“Survival is an instinct. You can have all the reason in the world to want to die but the second you realize that death is imminent you either accept it or fight it. Most fight it and that’s nothing to be ashamed of, it just means you think there’s something worth living for.” The fox answers. 

You look up at the rocky sky. You know that it’s late but the large stone keeps shining giving the Dunes a mid-day look. 

“I can’t find a reason.” You respond. 

“Considering you were able to crawl halfway here from the mines, I’d say it's a pretty good reason, even if you don’t yet realize it.” Says the fox. “It’s going to take more than a day of facing your demons to uncover everything. Even after coming to terms with mine, it took me a while before I was able to move back into my home.” 

“How much of your story is there? If this is one day’s progress I don’t see how I’ll be able to change my mind about… you know.” You state. 

You feel Ceroba’s paw on your shoulder. You’ve noticed that this is her go-to method of comfort. Whether or not this is influenced by your reaction to her closeness before, you’re unsure, but you do know that you like the fox’s caring tendencies. 

“I hope that I’m able to encourage you to stay and continue working on yourself.” She answers. “Do you think you’d be willing to give it a try as you are right now?” 

You turn your head to face the kitsune. You want to stay, more than anything, but something inside of you continues to fight. You’ve learned to hate this feeling before you listened to it so it would go away, but now it's enraged by Ceroba.

“I want to.” You whisper. 

“But?” 

You shake your head. “It’s like something inside of me is trying to destroy me. I can’t trust myself to choose because what I want and what I think I deserve aren’t the same thing.” You shudder. 

Ceroba nods. “It’s like you’re being puppeted. Like something is trying to drag you down and no matter how much you struggle you can’t keep your head above water. You realize that if you do what it wants it leaves you alone but the rest of you knows it doesn’t have your best interest at heart.”  Remarks the kitsune. 

“Exactly like that.” You concur. “Before I decided to jump I spent years just… existing. I can’t tell you anything I did because I don’t know what I did. I either worked or stayed in bed. That was my life.” You add. 

Ceroba slowly moves closer to you, not cautiously, but rather like someone approaches a scared animal. It’s clear to you that she’s testing your boundaries so you nod your head, giving her permission to do what she’s trying to do. Whatever that may be, you know that she wants to help. 

The kitsune sits next to you and gently moves your head closer to her. You end up resting your head against her. 

“I know the feeling. I couldn’t stand living here so I moved in with my friend. Most of my days were spent drinking. I couldn’t stand being sober. Sometimes I would purposely drink too much just to have something to focus on the next day that didn’t have anything to do with my past.” Admits the fox. 

You don’t know how to respond. Inside you can feel your thoughts swimming, it’s like they’re purposely pounding against the confines of your mind, each one intent on being heard. You wish they would be quiet and just let you choose for yourself, but you know that they’re the only thing between you and reality. Still, you can’t just let them win, you have to say something, anything. You’re standing on a razor’s edge trying not to fall into oblivion. You don’t know how many people in the world can help you, but you’re sure that if they exist, you’re resting your head against one of them. You have one chance, one last chance, to save yourself from yourself.  

“Don’t let me leave.” You whimper, tears welling up. 

You’re overwhelmed as the first words you made yourself leave your mouth. You’re nothing short of terrified. You see a glimpse of light in the darkness, light that you made, light caused by you clawing at the darkness, clawing to reach a voice, a voice that says it can help. 

“I… I’m not sure I understand.” 

You take a deep breath. Your entire body trembles as everything you’ve choked down for years begins to spill out. 

“I’m not myself! I didn’t even fight when people started to leave me! I’ve ignored every chance to get help!” You cry. Ceroba wraps her arms around you, pulling you closer. “I’m terrified that when you ask me if I want to go I’ll say yes. I don’t want to waste this chance, I don’t want to throw away the only good thing that’s happened to me since I lost everything. I don’t want to be alone again!” 

You can’t hold back your tears anymore. You sob into Ceroba’s chest as a flurry of emotions that you’re unable to properly place spill out of you. You can hardly hear the kitsune’s words over your sobs, but the tone of her voice is soothing. You feel a paw run through your hair, the fox’s claws carefully scratching your scalp and raking through your hair. Little by little everything inside of you that you’ve held for so long is replaced by Ceroba’s comforting warmth. Eventually, your tears stop falling. You aren’t sure if the tears stop because you let everything out or because you don’t have the energy to cry anymore. You rest against the kitsune because you feel that nothing else in the world could replicate her warmth. You’re finally able to hear Ceroba’s comforting words. 

“It’s okay.” She reassures. “Everything is going to be okay.” The fox moves her hands to hold you more firmly against her. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

You manage to gather enough energy to let out a whisper. “Thank you.” 

The kitsune holds you even tighter. “You don’t need to thank me. After everything you’ve been through, this is what you deserve.” 

A new feeling wells up inside you, it’s something that you haven’t felt in a long time. Unlike every other emotion that claws at your insides in the crucible of your mind, this one greets you like an old friend. You feel happy. The last time you felt this way was before your love left and took any remaining hope you had with them. If this isn’t a sign that Ceroba could help you, you don’t know what is. 

“How about I finish my story since you want to stay?” Ceroba offers. 

You nod tiredly. 

“Alright.” The kistune begins. “My husband wanted me to complete his legacy, the tapes he left me informed me that the serum made from the human soul he collected wasn’t pure enough.” Ceroba sighs. “I tried to purify it but I’m far from experienced in the science of human souls.” She takes a deep breath. “And then my daughter found the tapes.” The fox murmurs. “I let her convince me that the serum was safe and then I used it on her. At first, everything was fine but it didn’t take long for her to fall down.” You feel Ceroba’s embrace tighten. “The royal scientist requested fallen down monsters to be sent to her to undergo an experimental treatment, but I haven’t heard anything since.” The kitsune lets out a defeated chuckle. “Not like I expected to hear anything, falling down is a death sentence. Monsters are extensions of their soul. Unlike humans who can last for a few minutes without one, a monster can’t survive if their soul is damaged.” 

“I’m so sorry.” You say weakly. You try your best to sound comforting, but you can’t find the energy to do more than whisper. 

“Please don’t apologize. Everything that happened after Chujin died is my fault and mine alone.” She murmurs. 

You feel a sudden burst of energy. The circumstances that Ceroba found herself in were terrible, it wasn’t fair. 

“You were put into an impossible situation.” You insist. 

“I should’ve let it go after Kanako, but I had to involve Clover. I was convinced that pure humans were an impossibility and then a human with one just wanders into the Dunes.” Ceroba takes a breath and her entire body trembles. “I lied about the lab so I would have an excuse to travel with him to New Home. I hoped that he would perish along the way so I wouldn’t have to be the one to kill him.” The kitsune begins to cry. “If Starlo hadn’t stopped me at the elevator to Hotland… not that it mattered the kid found his way to New Home after finding the tapes. I knocked out Martlet and Starlo to get at him.” 

The fox’s tears grow silent and her voice becomes tired and weak. “After he beat me he spared me. He wanted to go to Asgore but I knew Asgore would kill him. Martlet, Starlo, and I started arguing about what to do.” You can feel Ceroba’s body tense as she continues to talk. “He didn’t want us to spend our lives hiding him… he wanted to give up his soul.” The kitsune lets out a long, tired sigh. “And just like that… I let another child convince me to kill them. He didn’t want me to stay with him as he died. I should’ve stayed, I should’ve comforted him, I should’ve done something. That poor child died alone because he wanted to spare me the pain of watching him die.” Ceroba hangs her head low and her vulpine ears droop. 

“After I gave the soul to Asgore I went back alone and brought the body to Asgore. Just a few hours before he managed to beat me without firing a single bullet, but when I held him, he was cold… frail… empty. I held him for a long time before I was able to bring him to Asgore and even now I wish I held him longer.” 

The kitsune moves her head just high enough to look you in the eyes. “That’s my story.” She concludes. 

“You made some mistakes but it doesn’t change the fact that the weight of the world was thrust onto you. I’m sure Clover knew that when he spared you.” You answer. 

The kitsune rests her head over yours, tucking you into the fluff of her neck. Her embrace changes from firm to gentle. It’s less comforting and more of a fond expression. 

“Thank you.” Ceroba whispers. 

You don’t know why the kitsune put so much weight on your answer. Surely others said the same thing to her, so why were you special? You want to ask her but you know this isn’t the right time. Ceroba’s breathing becomes calm and her heartbeat slows. 

“I just realized that I trapped you against me. I’ll let you go.” The kitsune chuckles nervously. 

You shake your head. The nervousness you felt earlier is non-existent, you would stay like this forever if it were possible. 

“If you say so.” Ceroba replies. 

The joy in her voice is almost physical in its intensity. You realize that not everything she had said earlier was pure fabrication. Part of her wants to be open, to be affectionate. You aren’t sure what this means, but you’re happy to stay in Ceroba’s embrace nonetheless. 

Fatigue starts to take hold as the warmth of Ceroba’s fur weakens your defense. You close your eyes and let sleep take hold of you because you know that you’re safe in the kitsune’s embrace. 

Chapter Text

A few days have passed since your night on the porch with Ceroba. In that time you’ve recovered completely from your run-in with Undyne. The time that wasn’t spent trying to walk was spent talking. You reminisced, laughed, and cried, sometimes all at once. Ceroba made for good company. 

Last night Ceroba asked you if you wanted to see the Wild East and you agreed. Ceroba had a few concerns, mostly relating to the other monsters. She emphasized that the other monsters weren’t dangerous due to malice, but rather out of ignorance towards humans. 

Now you stand next to her on the porch getting ready to leave. This is your first time leaving Ceroba’s home since she took you in and although you’re excited to see the Wild East, the kitsune’s concerns about other monsters cause you some concern. 

“Stay close to me.” Ceroba instructs. “The monsters around here shouldn’t attack you but I’m not taking chances.” 

You nod. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine but if anything happens get behind me.” 

“I’m not sure how I feel about using you as a shield.” You say. 

Ceroba smiles warmly. “I appreciate your concern but as a monster, I’m resistant to magic.” 

You nod, slightly embarrassed. “Right, I forgot.” 

The kitsune pats your shoulder. “Don’t worry, I appreciate your concern.” She says. 

You start to walk alongside Ceroba. The first thing you notice about the Dunes outside Ceroba’s house is how hot it is. The space around the home isn’t exactly cool, but it’s manageable. In Oasis Valley, however, it’s a bit more unbearable. 

“How do you deal with the heat? Your fur must make it difficult to live here.” You inquire. 

The kitsune shrugs. “I guess I’ve gotten used to it. It probably helps that gemstones, such as the one heating up the Dunes, are magical in nature.” She answers. 

“I guess that makes sense.” You pant. 

“We’ll be in the Wild East soon, it’s not that much farther.” Ceroba imparts. 

As you walk you notice some monsters staring at you while others completely ignore you. You feel Ceroba’s paw grab your hand, it’s as if she can feel your discomfort. 

“It’s only because you’re a new face. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” She says reassuringly, but her tone is less firm than before. You don’t know if she’s reassuring you or herself. 

Her pace quickens and you find yourself struggling to find the right pace to keep up with the kitsune. Suddenly you feel her tug you behind her as she turns to face back. You spot a staff in her other paw and can feel the warmth emanating from the fox’s body. The warmth isn’t normal, it seems to create a barrier that starts just above her fur. 

You look past Ceroba and see… the bird monster from before? 

“Martlet! You startled me.” The kitsune says. 

Ceroba’s staff vanishes and the unnatural warmth fades. 

“Sorry! I just wanted to check on them but I didn’t want to intrude so I waited out here and-”

“It’s alright.” Interjects the kitsune. “Wait, you’ve been waiting out here?”

Martlet nods. She notices you looking at her from behind Ceroba and her face lights up. “They look so much better than the last time I saw them!” Beams the bird monster. 

The kitsune awkwardly tugs you from behind her, her paw gently, yet also firmly, guiding you to her side. 

“I can’t take all the credit, they’ve also worked hard the past few days.” Ceroba states. 

You feel your face start to burn and a twinge of nervousness rises in your chest. “I-I had nothing to do with it.” You stammer. “It was all Ceroba.” 

Martlet frowns. “I doubt that’s true, recovery is a two-way street. I was lost after Clover died but I had to choose to recover, no one could do that for me.” She counters. 

You feel the kitsune squeeze your hand reassuringly. “It’s a work in progress, but they said they would stay so I’ll continue to help them.” She says. 

Martlet smiles. “That’s great!” She exclaims. “I don’t think I could handle losing someone else that I know.” She murmurs almost inaudibly. 

The fox focuses on Martlet for a moment. You can see her studying the bird’s expression. On the outside, she seems happy, bubbly even, but the more you look the more you can tell that she’s hiding something. Ceroba seems to pick up on this. 

“We’re headed to the Wild East, would you like to come with us?” Asks the kitsune. 

Martlet shakes her head. “I’m probably behind on work. I have to get back home.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Martlet doesn’t say anything, instead, she quickly shoots into the air. 

“Clover’s death hit her the hardest. She was with him through most of his journey. Starlo and I took turns checking on her in Snowdin. There are times when I thought she wouldn’t make it.” Ceroba sighs. 

“You mean she was…” you trail off not wanting to say the word. 

Ceroba shakes her head. “When a monster loses all hope or the will to go on they fall down. It mostly happens to older monsters but if a monster is depressed enough… I was scared for her.” Ceroba answers glumly. 

“Should we go after her?” 

“No.” Ceroba shakes her head. “The Wild East is probably too much for her. I’m surprised she was able to stay in the Dunes at all.” Ceroba looks down. “She’s getting better, but some wounds never fully heal.” 

Ceroba starts walking again, slower than earlier. You get the feeling that meeting Martlet caused some lingering emotions to emerge in the kitsune. Emotions that make it hard for her to look forward to going to the Wild East. 

“Are you alright?” You ask. 

Ceroba nods. “I’m fine.” She says. 

You open your mouth to say something but stop when the paw holding your hand squeezes tightly. Her grip is firm, tight enough to tell you to stop but loose enough to not hurt. 

“I appreciate your concern but I’m fine, I swear.” The kitsune claims. 

You nod your head. If there’s anything you’ve learned in the past couple of days, it’s that Ceroba is hesitant to reveal more than she wants to. When it comes to the things she doesn’t want to share, her nature is beyond defensive. It isn’t that you’re scared of her, it’s more so her presence is overpowering. In a battle of wills, she would always come out on top. 

Eventually, you arrive in front of a small town. Unlike the houses in Oasis Valley which are made out of limestone and other quarried minerals, the buildings here are made out of wood. The Wild East is much smaller than Oasis Valley but the design seems to be more inspired. It’s like it was built to be something rather than built to accommodate residents. 

“Starlo’s not here… he’s probably in the Saloon.” Ceroba states. 

You walk from the entrance of the town, around a decently sized structure holding a bell, to a building directly across from the town’s entrance. The word “Saloon” is painted on a sign above the door. 

“I should warn you that the last time a human came here they left a bit of an impression. I don’t think Starlo’s looking for a deputy position anymore but if he tries to rope you into his games I’ll do my best to get you out of it.” Instructs the kitsune. 

You nod though you’re unsure of what the fox meant by her words. Your uncertainty doesn’t last long as you step into the saloon and your eyes land on a monster dressed like a cowboy. He sits at the side of the bar closest to the entrance and talks to the bartender. 

The cowboy resembles a cartoon depiction of a star, with yellow skin, and large, pointy bits on his face. Immediately you assume that the monster you’re looking at is Starlo. Then you feel nervous as you don’t want to assume someone’s name based on their appearance. You hope that you aren’t showing this nervousness on your face. 

Ceroba chuckles; you’re absolutely showing it. 

“Yes, that’s Starlo.” Ceroba assures. 

Upon hearing his name the cowboy turns around and smiles brightly. 

“Roba!” He exclaims. “It’s been a while since you happened along these parts. I was worried about you.” Starlo speaks in an exaggerated Western accent. 

“Sorry, Star, I’ve been busy.” Ceroba replies. 

The cowboy turns his head to face you. He shoots to his feet so quickly that his hat slips from his face. You notice that he wears glasses. Behind the glasses the star monster’s eyes are wide. 

“Star?” Ceroba asks with concern. 

Starlo clears his throat and picks up his hat. “Sorry, pardner, I just never thought I’d see another human.” He says in a normal voice as he puts his hat back on. 

You notice that the bartender is in the same boat as Starlo. Though she hides it well, the armadillo-like monster takes quick glances, trying not to catch your attention. 

“So.” Starlo begins, once again using his Western accent. “What brings you two to the Wild East?” 

“I-I-” You stutter, unsure how to respond. 

“I just thought it might do them some good to show them around.” Ceroba jumps in. 

Starlo nods. “They aren’t thinking of going to Asgore, are they?” 

You shake your head. “I-I’m staying with Ceroba.” You answer. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see the kitsune’s face brighten at your response. 

“Wel,l that’s great news!” Starlo beams. 

The bartender clears her throat. “Dontcha have somewhere to be Starlo?” She asks. Unlike Starlo’s voice which is forced, the bartender’s voice is a completely natural Western accent. 

“Oh shoot, you’re right. Sorry Roba, I have to get going.” Starlo replies. 

Ceroba nods. “I’ll be sure to come by more often, Star.” She states. 

“I would like that.” Says the cowboy. 

He quickly rushes out of the bar. 

“After Clover… you know… he started balancing both his farm life and running the town. It keeps him busy.” Ceroba explains. 

“I tried tellin’ ‘em to cut back, but he don’t listen.” The bartender sighs. She looks over to you. “Name’s Dina, I’m the owner of this here Saloon.” 

You introduce yourself and Dina gestures for you to sit down. You and Ceroba take a seat at the bar. 

“Now I know you quit drinkin’ Ceroba…” she turns to you. “…how ‘bout you?” 

In truth, you can’t recall the last time you’ve had alcohol. You might’ve had some after your love left but since you couldn’t bring yourself to go shopping it never became a crutch. 

“I’m not sure.” You answer. You mentally berate yourself for your response. 

Dina smirks. “Well, ain’t that just adorable.” 

You can’t tell what she means by that. You look down at the bar and hope that Dina and Ceroba can’t see your flusteredness. 

“Go easy on them, Dina, they haven’t exactly had it easy.” The kitsune insists. 

Dina nods. “Sorry. How ‘bout this, I’ll get you two some root beers on the house to make up for it.” She offers. 

“That would be great, thanks, Dina.” Thanks the fox. 

The bartender quickly produced two root beers. “I’m goin’ to check on the other patrons. You two enjoy yourselves.” Dina states before moving over to another side of the bar. 

The experience feels nice but something bothers you. The monsters in Oasis Valley and the Wild East haven’t attacked you. You know you’ve been lucky, but the one monster who wanted your soul attacked without mercy. If that’s how monsters are supposed to act towards humans, what would the others think about the monsters here? 

“Is everything alright?” Ceroba asks. 

You realize you zoned off after you finished your drink. You try to think of something to say but you know the kitsune can see through any life you make. 

“I’m worried about the other monsters.” You say. 

“Other monsters… you mean like Undyne and the royal guard?” The fox inquires. 

You nod. “I don’t see a monster like Undyne just letting me live here.” You sigh. 

Ceroba places a paw on your back. “The guard never comes down here, I doubt half of them know the Dunes exist.” reassures the kitsune. 

You shake your head. “But Undyne might. I can’t believe I never considered her searching for me.” You take a shaky breath. 

Ceroba stands up and holds out a paw. You sheepishly take it and stand up. 

“Let’s go home and talk about this, I’ll call up Martlet and Starlo. We’ll think of something, I promise.” Promises the kitsune. 

You take a deep breath. “Okay.” 

As you and Ceroba walk from the Wild East, you can’t help but notice how close the kitsune is to you. Her arm is wrapped around you and she changes her pace to match yours every time you speed up or slow down. The fox scans the area around you, quickly looking from one place to another. You can’t help but feel that your words awoke something in the kitsune. 

When you finally arrive back home you feel the fox’s hold on you loosen but it isn’t until you enter that Ceroba finally loosens up. You look into her eyes, they’re concerned, fearful, and tired. When she notices you looking they soften as if the very sight of you is enough to calm her nerves. 

You realize that you feel the same way. Ceroba is the one person in the underground that you trust. She’s the reason why you’re able to keep going. Just a few days ago you were ready to let it all end but Ceroba guided you back to the light. 

Your eyes remain locked on hers and you feel your heart start to flutter. You realize that you’re falling in love with Ceroba. 

Could you love again? Does she feel the same? What about the royal guard? What about Undyne? Fear rises inside of you as a chorus of thoughts begins to ring out. One thought emerges triumphant. You deserve to be happy, but not at the risk of Ceroba’s life. 

“I’m sorry.” You whimper before running past Ceroba. 

You’re able to create some distance between yourself and the kitsune. The door is in sight, just a few more feet. There’s a flash of light and your body freezes. It only lasts for a fraction of a second but it’s enough for Ceroba to close the distance.  

What happens next occurs faster than your mind can comprehend. Ceroba grabs your arm with her free hand and tosses the staff away with the other. Using her height to her advantage she forces you back against a wall. Finally, she plants her other hand against the wall limiting your escape options. 

By the time your brain catches up you’re trembling and on the verge of tears. You have to keep your head tilted to stare into Ceroba’s eyes. Tears are streaming down her face, her vulpine ears are folded back and a terrified expression is on her face. 

You try to squirm away from her but the fox’s grip is firm. Ceroba calls your name, she pleads for you to stop but you can’t bring yourself to listen. You struggle and fight to no avail as the kitsune’s grip is steel around your arm. Finally, you exhaust yourself. 

“Finally…” Ceroba sighs. “What’s gotten into you? You said you wanted to stay so what changed?” She asks. Her voice is desperate, she’s pleading with you. 

“I-I d-didn’t want you t-to be in danger b-because of me!” You stammer tears run down your face. 

The fox blinks tears from her eyes as she releases your arm. Part of you wants to run but another part wants to stay, but before you can decide the kitsune softly rests her paw on your cheek. You feel the soft pads of her paws affectionately caress you. 

For a second you feel the weight of your nervousness weigh down on you. You can fight it, move your head from the kitsune’s paw, but what’s the point? You push away your thoughts and lean your head into Ceroba’s paw. 

“Ceroba, I-I think I-I…” you trail off, struggling to convey your feelings. You take a deep breath. “I haven’t felt this way since before I was abandoned. You taught me that I was worth something and that I could still feel something besides emptiness. I love you!” 

Ceroba stares down at you. You feel your heartbeat accelerating as seconds start to feel like years. The last time you felt this vulnerable was the day you accepted your child was gone forever. 

Terrified, you try to control any damage before it happens. “I-I shouldn’t have… please d-don’t kick me ou-” You’re interrupted by the kitsune pressing her muzzle against your lips. She only pressed for a second before pulling back. 

You stare at Ceroba, unable to form even the slightest thought. You’re so completely overwhelmed that the only noise you’re able to make is a shy whimper. 

“Sorry…” Ceroba apologizes. “I’m not sure how humans kiss, I was using Starlo’s films for reference.” 

You nod, though with your trembling you doubt the kitsune notices. 

“Hey… hey… it’s okay… you’re okay…” the fox whispers soothingly. 

You feel her paw slip from your face and softly press against your side, her other paw follows, and she carefully leads you to the ground. She leans you against her and you instinctively wrap your arms around her. You feel Ceroba’s claws gently rake over your back while her other paw squeezes your hand. 

“I love you too.” Proclaims the kitsune. “I haven’t felt this way towards anyone in a long time. I learned that I was still capable of loving someone as more than just a friend.” She takes a deep breath. “When you tried to run I realized that I couldn’t live without you.”

You look up at Ceroba and your heart starts to beat faster than ever before. The beating of your heart isn’t caused by fear or anxiety, you feel overjoyed. The emotions swirling inside of you are emotions that you feared you’d never feel again.

“H-how do… fox monsters k-kiss?” You barely manage to ask. 

The kitsune beams down at you and a grin begins to form on her face. You can’t help but shudder, the nervousness coming back with a vengeance. Ceroba leans forward and you feel her tongue lap against your lips. Her paws move to raise you, pushing you against her to make it easier for her to reach you. You feel tingles run through your entire body as the kitsune’s tongue slowly moves over your face. By the time she pulls away, you’re wondering if you’re her lover or her prey. 

“Was that too much?” She flirts. 

You can’t find the words to answer so you just stare into the fox monster’s eyes. As if possessed you lean forward and kiss Ceroba’s muzzle. Goosebumps form all over your body as the kitsune’s soft fur tickles your face. 

You feel her arms wrap around your back and suddenly you’re on the ground. Ceroba begins licking and nuzzling your head and neck; any restraint she had before is gone. It only takes a few seconds for you to become paralyzed in the wake of the kitsune’s relentless love. Time seems to lose all meaning as you become intoxicated by Ceroba. Everything about her ignites every cell in your body. The absolute radiance sears away any lingering pain. With each lick, each nuzzle, and each careful bite you love the kitsune more and more. The kitsune pulls away from you and you can almost see a blush on her tan fur.

“Can we put this on pause and go to the bedroom? We’re both going to be sore if we end up passing out on the floor.” Ceroba pants. 

You nod, knowing that you most likely don’t have a choice in the matter, not that you care. It only takes a few seconds for the kitsune to stand with you in her arms. She practically sprints up the stairs and throws open the door. In under a minute you go from lying on the ground to lying on Ceroba’s bed. 

“Sorry if that was rough, I couldn’t wait to continue.” She says. Before you can respond her arms are wrapped around you once more. “Don’t worry. By continue I’m only referring to this. I know you’re probably exhausted from earlier so I’ll settle with cuddling for now.” Ceroba breaths.  

“For now?” You ask nervously. 

Ceroba laughs. “Don’t worry about it, just let me love on you, okay?” She coos. 

You nod. “Okay.” 

The kitsune resumes her loving assault. She starts slowly at first, licking your lips and nuzzling your cheek. When her tongue isn’t on your skin you can faintly hear her whispering “I love you,” “You’re so cute,” “I’ve got you,” and other loving affirmations. You feel like you’re being smothered but in a good way. The only stimulation you get comes from Ceroba. You breathe in Ceroba, taste Ceroba, and your eyes only see Ceroba. Despite how aggressive the kitsune is, you can’t help but feel comfort, the overwhelming nature of the situation gives way to placid, almost tranquil feelings. You find yourself whispering Ceroba’s name just to feel it roll off your tongue. You’re unsure if she intended to imprint herself on every part of your mind, but if it is you don’t mind. 

“How are you doing?” Asks the kitsune, her tone a soft purr. 

“I love you.” You whisper instinctively. 

Ceroba moves her muzzle close to your lips and you feel her tongue slip in between them. There’s a split second of lucidity as the sensation surprises you, but it quickly fades. The kitsune's tongue explores your mouth and her paw caresses your cheek. As you look into her eyes she looks back with pure adoration. The feeling is so intense that you forget to breathe. Fortunately, Ceroba pulls back, allowing you to take a few deep breaths to recover.  

“Are you okay?” Chuckles the fox. 

You shyly nod. 

“You’re too adorable.” She coos. 

“Th-thank you.” 

She wraps her arms around you tightly. Your face is pressed against the fluff on her neck and you notice that her fur is much warmer than before, yet somehow it’s still comfortable. Her body is like the hot of the Dunes, yet somehow you don’t even sweat. You can feel the underside of her snout resting on the top of her head, what isn’t completely encompassed by the kitsune is swiftly covered by a blanket. The concept of cold no longer exists to you.

“I missed being able to hold someone like this.” Ceroba professes. 

Her love blitz becomes a soothing cover of warmth. One of her paws presses against the back of your head and the other rubs your back. You can tell that she still wants to feel every part of you. Her fur-covered legs rub against yours, holding them, twisting, creating a cuddle-pretzel. Normally, such restraint would cause you to panic, but Ceroba’s hold on you only calms you more. 

“I missed cuddling.” You reply, your voice slightly muffled by the fox monster’s fur. 

The kitsune presses into you, her embrace tightening, in response to your words. 

“Looks like we need to make up for lost time.” She expresses. 

You feel tears in your eyes as the biggest smile you’ve ever had forms on your face. 

“Thank you! Thank you for everything!” You cry into Ceroba’s fur. “Thank you for not giving up on me! Thank you for stopping me! Thank you for loving me!” 

The kitsune leans her head back and softly licks your face. In between each lick, you hear her whisper “I know” and “It’s okay.” Your tears become sobs as you’re overwhelmed by emotion. The fox changes tactics and nuzzles her snout against your cheek while softly whispering in your ears. “It’s okay.” Ceroba croons. “You can cry as much as you want.” 

You don’t know how long you cry, every time you think you’re almost done a new stream of tears starts to stream. Ceroba keeps comforting you the entire time. By the time your tears finally dry you can barely squeeze the kitsune back, between your earlier struggles, your emotions, and the tears you’re too exhausted to move. 

“There you go, do you feel any better?” Ceroba asks. 

You nod weakly. 

“That’s good.” You feel her tongue gently lap against your forehead. “That’s good.” She repeats.

You yawn, barely able to keep your eyes open. You don’t want to fall asleep, you want to stay like this forever. 

“I don’t want this moment to end.” You whisper. 

“I know.” Ceroba lulls. “But there will be more moments like this. Moments where you’ll be rested and happy.” She promises. “And preferably not started by me pinning you against a wall.” She chuckles. 

You smile. “I kind of liked it.” You confess. 

You hear the kitsune’s heartbeat quicken for a few seconds, the fox takes a deep breath and her heartbeat lowers again. “You’re too tired to talk like that, okay?” Ceroba blushes. 

“Alright.” You yawn. 

The kitsune nuzzles you. “I love you lots.” 

“I love you too.” You whisper sleepily. 

You tuck your head under Ceroba’s snout and allow your eyes to close. You smile as the soothing sound of the kitsune’s breathing lulls you to sleep.

Chapter Text

Darkness. An impenetrable darkness surrounds you. You try to remember how you wound up here but what you come up with doesn’t make sense. 

The royal scientist showed up unannounced at your home and brought with her a vaguely familiar monster. She didn’t stay long as her phone rang and she rushed off. 

Ceroba was awestruck at the monster in front of her and with one word you knew who the monster was, “Kanako.” You wish you were able to learn about Kanako. With all the excitement from the kitsune and her kit, you decided it best to ask how Kanako returned from the dead. 

The very last thing you remember is Kanako looking you dead in the eyes. Unlike the photos you’ve seen her eyes weren’t brown, they were piercing blue. Before you could comment there was a bright flash of light and you woke up here. 

“Hello?” You call out. No reply. “Is anyone there?” Nothing. “Can someone help me? I don’t know where I am!” But nobody came. 

You sink to your knees, defeated. There’s another bright flash and you find yourself on your back. As you stare into the void above you see a figure with the head of a goat and large, black wings. A small child, no older than yours, seems to be locked in a struggle with the monster. 

Deep down inside you feel your soul resonating with something inside of the monster. Instinctively you reach out to it. The world goes dark for a second before another figure enters your vision. 

From the white and red kimono, the tan-brown fur, and the very paws that saved your life, you know that the monster in front of you is Ceroba. However, something is off, her face is obscured by a white mist, like a heavy fog condensed around her head. 

You take a step forward. “Ceroba?” You ask. 

She snaps to face you. “Humans just want to control us.” She growls. 

Her staff appears in her hands and she thrusts it in your direction. You barely avoid a ball of fire as it sails toward you. 

“Wha-what are you doing?! It’s me!” You plead. 

“Your kind locked us down here and yet you continue to play the victim.” Her voice is low and deadly. 

The kitsune twirls her staff once more and you see a storm of razor-sharp flower petals heading toward you. You try to jump out of the way but you're not quick enough. A feeling not unlike a dozen paper cuts shoots through your body. You hit the ground. You look down and see that only one of your legs was hit, the same leg that the fish monster threw her spear through. 

“Th-this seems fam-familiar right? You found m-me, you sa-saved me!” You cry out in a mixture of confusion and fear. 

Ceroba raises her staff once more as she charges up her next attack. “This is how it must be.” She says. 

“Ceroba, please!” You scream. 

The fox freezes and you can see her hands trembling, the bell inside the top of her staff rings. “Stop saying my name! You don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve been through!” She snaps. “My daughter was innocent and your kind attacked her. It drove my husband to his grave! I lost my daughter because he trusted me with his work! His legacy! A way to finally be free from humanity and their vile hatred towards us!” She fumes, her voice full of venom. 

You try to stand to no avail and fall face forward. You barely get your hand out in time to catch yourself. You look up at the kitsune and reach towards her as if trying to pull her out of harm’s way. “I do know. You told me! You told me everything! And you did it because I went through something similar.” You urge the kitsune to listen. 

“Don’t try to sympathize with me!” The kitsune screams and slams the end of her staff into the ground. A shockwave sends you tumbling backward. “MY MISTAKES ARE MINE!” She rages. 

You look up just in time to see a bright light hurdle towards you. There’s a flash of pain and everything goes dark. The pain continues. Everywhere, every last part of your body, even your soul, nothing on you is spared from Ceroba’s magical fury. You can feel your soul trembling, threatening to shatter inside of you, but no matter how much it’s pelted, the attacks refuse to kill it. You realize that the Ceroba you know isn’t lost, you just have to show her that she’s still there. 

The barrage stops and you hear the fox walking towards you. “How?” She whispers. “How are you still alive?” 

You ignore the pain in your body and manage to get on your knees. The kitsune is close enough to you that you can reach and grab one of her paws. You look her in the eyes, or at least where her eyes should be. 

“Because some part of you can’t bring yourself to kill me.” You declare. “The time I’ve spent with you was the best time of my life. You helped me when no one else could, took me in when I was broken, and put me back together.” You feel tears run down your face. “I came down here wanting to die and you convinced me to give living a second chance.” You take a deep breath. “If I’m wrong, if you can’t find a single fragment of yourself in your soul, then kill me.” Ceroba is still and the void around you is silent. 

The kitsune breaks the silence with a loud gasp and the fog around her head vanishes. She falls to her knees and you lose your grip on her paw. You crumble, falling on your side, the pain in your body is but a dull throb. 

“What have I done?” Ceroba whispers. Her eyes are specks as she stares at you. Like a singular star in an empty sky. “No.” She trembles. “No! No! No! No!” The kitsune shouts. 

She kneels at your side and you feel warmth as a green glow enters your vision. The warmth grows in intensity. “You’re going to be okay… you’re going to be okay… you’re going to be okay.” 

You manage to grab her paw. “I know I will.” You smile reassuringly. “I know because you would never hurt me. This isn’t your fault.” 

The warmth continues but your wounds don’t heal. 

“I don’t understand, I just want to take your pain away! Why isn’t this working?” 

The green glow stops and Ceroba collapses on top of you. She’s panting and her entire body trembles. “Just a little more… a little more and maybe it’ll work.” She whispers. 

You warp your arms around the fox. “Don’t!” You plead. “Don’t push yourself past your limits.”

The kitsune sighs. “Why is this happening?” She whimpers. 

“I don’t know.” You answer. 

“What about Kanako? I just got her back and now…” She trails off. 

A warmth radiates around you. It’s different from Ceroba’s warmth, it’s radiant, like the sun. 

“She’s fine, Ceroba.” Assures a voice. 

Ceroba sits up and leans you against her. You hear a whimper from the kitsune before she presses a paw against her muzzle. Standing in front of you is the silhouette of a child dressed like a cowboy. The child is made of golden light and inside the silhouette is a bright, golden, glowing soul. 

“I think things are starting to wind down, everything’s going to be okay.” He smiles. 

Ceroba moves her paw away and you hear her whisper “Clover.” The young gunslinger walks up to the kitsune. He turns to you. “Sorry I couldn’t help, all my other friends didn’t have anyone to help them. It also seemed like you were really close to her.” 

As shocked as you are to see Clover, a harrowing question forces its way through your mind until you can’t hold it back any longer. “Is my child here?” You ask. 

Clover looks at you confused but after a few seconds, he seems to understand. “They are… but they’re probably hiding.” He replies. 

“Hiding? Why?” You plead. 

Clover looks down. “They aren’t exactly proud of what they did.” Admits the cowboy. 

You feel Ceroba squeeze you reassuringly. “Please.” You say. “I don’t care what they’ve done. They’re still my child, I still love them!” 

A blue light flashes in front of you and you’re forced to shut your eyes. When you open them you’re alone. 

“How?” A somber voice echoes around you. “After everything I’ve done, after the path I led you down, how can you still love me?” 

You know this voice. It’s the same voice that you’ve heard in your nightmares, the same voice that you chase in your mind, and the same voice that you wish you could hear one more time. Your child, the one you lost. 

You find that you’re able to stand, you can’t feel any of the pain from earlier, and upon further inspection, you notice your injuries are gone. You look around again and only see endless darkness. 

“I can’t blame you for your actions. You were scared and that fear changed you.” You answer. 

An empty chuckle fills the void around you, an expression of humor and hopelessness. “I saw the fear in their eyes and I continued my assault. I took lives. Men… women… children… they were all the same in my eyes.” You hear a trembling sigh. “At first it was self-defense… then it became something worse… something corrupt… and then I stopped caring… I stopped being able to feel anything towards them.” 

You grit your teeth. “You died! You paid for your crimes! What more can you do? Is it worth punishing yourself like this?” You shout. 

“I wish you could remember me like I was.” The voice laments. 

You take a deep breath. “All I have left of you is a picture. Every memory of you I have has been warped by my fears and regrets.” You hang your head low. “Please… I just want to see you again. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” You plead. 

For a moment there is only silence, and then a footstep reverberates through the void around you. You look up and see them. In the distance a child wearing clothes like they’ve just left a ballet recital walks towards you. Their form is similar to Clover’s except for their head and their color. The dark blue light that makes up the body of your child acts like a mist around their head. The mist isn’t like the mist that surrounded Ceroba’s head, rather it’s like whatever force created these figures is unsure of what your child’s face looks like. It constantly shifts and reforms, the only constant feature is their eyes which are the same piercing blue as your former love. 

They take cautious, slow strides, like a cat approaching someone with an outstretched hand. They look up at you and their eyes widen. The blue light that makes up their body seems to vibrate as they tremble. You rush toward them and you see them tense up. 

“No-” They begin before they’re cut off by your wrapping your arms around them. You softly shush the cowering child in your arms. It only takes a few seconds for them to start crying. Your child collapses in your embrace and you guide them to the ground. 

You held them many times like this before. You were always the first to come to their side if they had a nightmare, the first one to pick them up when they fell, and the first one to soothe them when they needed to cry. 

“I called for you…” They sob. “...when that robot broke my leg I called for you.” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.” You whisper. 

“I didn’t deserve it. I was selfish. I ran away when all you did was worry about me.” 

You squeeze your child. “You made a mistake. You didn’t deserve this, this wasn’t something you could learn from. It wasn’t fair.” You urge. 

You feel a pair of small arms wrap around you. “What about those that I’ve harmed? That wasn’t fair.” Argues your child. 

You sigh. “You were forced into a corner. I can’t begin to imagine the stress you were under.” 

“They were innocent.” 

“So were you!” You cry. “When I fell I was lucky to not be attacked, but I was so hurt I could barely walk. Being injured like that and then attacked over and over again… there aren’t many other ways this could’ve ended.” 

“But the human who fell after me-” 

“Isn’t you!” You urge. “You’re just a kid. Please… please don’t blame yourself.” 

You feel your child rest their head on your shoulder. The constant shifting mist tickles your face. 

“The mother of one of the monsters you attacked nursed me back to health after I was injured. They were more worried about how I would react to learning about you than they were mad at you for what you did.” You say. “I’m sure if she met you, she’d forgive you.” 

“She would?” Asks the child. 

You nod. 

“That’s… good to hear…” They murmur. 

A substance like dust floats from the dark blue light, and gradually the dark blue lightens. The child’s tears stop. 

“Thank you.” They whisper tiredly. 

“Anytime… I love you.” You respond wistfully. 

You hear a loud crack that echoes through the void. 

“What was that?” You ask. 

“Our souls… they’re being used to break the barrier…” Answers the child. “The intentions of the one who absorbed us have changed… he’s going to release us.”  

You tremble. “But… that means…” You trail off as your throat closes. 

“It’s okay.” Your child whispers. 

You shake your head. “After all these years… I want more time… I need more time!” You cry. 

“You’ve done more than enough. It’s time to let me go.” They smile sadly. 

“I’m not ready to say goodbye…” You sob. 

“Neither am I, but it’s for the best.” They murmur. “Besides, a little bit of me exists within the daughter of the woman you were talking about. Part of me will still be with you.” 

“I’m scared.” 

“You have people who care about you. After everything you’ve done, you deserve to finally move past me. I want you to live your life. I want you to be happy.” Small pinpricks of light, like thousands of tiny, blue fireflies, float away from the child. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper. 

“I know, but the best way to make it up to me is to live the life my death forced you away from.” 

They stand up, the light of their body passing through your arms. They beam at you with a wide smile as tears fall from their face. “I love you.” They say. 

“I love you too.” You breathe. 

Their form begins to fade rapidly, the soul inside them vanishing. Right before they disappear you hear your child’s voice one last time. “Thank you, for everything. Goodbye.” And you’re alone in the void. 

…

You feel a warmth against the back of your head and your neck. You also feel a strange, lukewarm goop enveloping your hand. You open your eyes and see the concerned expressions of Ceroba and Kanako. You realize the warmth is Ceroba’s lap, and the goop is from Kanako. 

“I was so worried!” Ceroba exclaims. “Kanako and I both woke up on the ground, we don’t know what happened, but we found you still asleep.” 

“I remember a bright light… and then we were in some kind of void.” You say. 

Ceroba looks puzzled. “I remember the light but nothing after that.” 

You sit up. As you move the air hitting your face informs you that your eyes are wet. 

“You were crying.” Ceroba says. 

“I saw my kid.” 

Ceroba frowns. “Oh no.” 

You shake your head, a soft smile growing on your face. “I think they’re at peace now.” 

The kitsune looks surprised but Kanako smiles brightly. You have a feeling that she knows more about what happened than Ceroba does. You hear ringing and Ceroba quickly grabs her phone. 

“It’s Starlo… I wonder if he also passed out.” She says. 

Ceroba answers her phone. 

“They’re proud of you, you know that right?” Whispers Kanako. 

You nod. 

“That’s good.” She replies. 

You hear a longing sigh come from the fox. You turn to face her as she hangs up her phone. 

“The barrier is broken… but the souls… Clover… they’re gone.” Her ears droop slightly. “I should be relieved that they passed on but…” 

“You wanted to hope that somehow they would come back?” 

The kitsune nods. Kanako releases your hand and you walk over to Ceroba. You wrap your arms around her. 

“They would want us to move on.” You say. 

The fox looks at you and nods. You feel her tongue lap against your lips and she embraces you back. You feel Kanako wrap her arms around you as well. You know what comes next might not be easy, but you also know that your guiding light saved you from the dark. You smile, everything is going to be okay.