Chapter Text
Kaz wasn’t entirely certain Inej would recognize him at their rendezvous point in Olendaal. The man who exited the Geldrenner Hotel bore little resemblance to Kaz Brekker, aside from walking with a cane in his left hand. Much of his transformation was thanks to Tij. He’d been mildly shocked when Jesper hinted at what the Fabrikator could do with her powers. It turned out that while she wasn’t a Corporalki, she could alter some things on the body, like hair and tattoos. Kaz was intrigued, especially since he’d yet to find a Tailor in Ketterdam he really trusted. Not since Nina. The Healer Arika’s powers didn't extend to Tailoring like this. Kaz had carefully asked Tij about what Jesper shared, and if it was possible for her to work on him for this trip.
She’d been amused by his initial offer of kruge for her services. Tij then agreed to meet with him clandestinely in a suite at the Geldrenner. Refusing payment, she instead secured his agreement for a slightly more difficult Grisha extraction upon his return. She wouldn’t budge on giving him more details, and had instead told him to enjoy his vacation with Inej. The Ravkan woman was sometimes as mysterious and tight-lipped as he was. She is a spy after all. Tij didn’t ask where he and Inej were going, and he only said that he needed to be disguised for the trip. She’d initially offered to work on Inej as well, but Kaz thought his Wraith wouldn’t want to change her appearance. He didn’t want to offend her. Or ruin the surprise.
Once Kaz realized that camouflaging Inej’s looks wasn’t something he wanted to ask of her, he’d committed to changing his as much as possible. The top portion of his hair was now light brown, nearly blonde at the tips, and he’d tousled it over his face. Dressed in simpler clothes, a white linen shirt with tan trousers, brown leather boots, belt and braces; he’d adopted the semblance of a well off country dweller. Tij had done something to transfer his Dregs’ tattoo from his forearm to her own. He still didn’t quite fathom the mechanics, but she guaranteed it was reversible. The tattoo transfer required her to hold his wrist. She’d apologized for needing to touch his skin, proving her perceptiveness yet again. Kaz suspected she knew something of his issues when she promised to move quickly. Prepared to grit his teeth and bear the contact, he’d been pleasantly surprised that her dry, firm grasp hadn’t triggered anything beyond some unease. He’d actually felt a weird warmth as Tij’s hands worked, similar to Arika’s powers. His hair had been a simpler procedure, and she hadn’t touched his scalp at all.
He found his own naked forearms distracting, since his shirt sleeves were rolled up. His pale skin was the one tell that he’d considered makeup to hide, but he knew the sun would fix it soon enough. The carved maple cane he used was still very much a weapon. It was balanced and weighted as close to his crow head cane as possible. It sported a turned wooden handle, and a wrapped brass tip at the bottom. Kaz also commissioned Tij, weeks back, to make him a pair of rather special gloves. They matched his current skin tone nearly perfectly. The seams were so fine, that at a distance, they disappeared. Said gloves were in his trouser pockets, just in case he felt the need for their protection. There was a bag slung over his shoulder, with similar country clothes for the trip, and identification for him and Inej with their aliases. And a few surprises. His transformation into Mathijs Rietveld was complete.
When Inej showed him the wardrobe she’d picked out for the trip, Kaz had boggled. She was an incredible spider and they'd worn disguises on so many heists. He shouldn’t have been shocked by her ability to pick things that would conceal her identity so naturally. Still, he was having a hard time imagining Inej in floral print dresses and woven straw hats. She’d joked about stitching hidden pockets for knives in the various skirts. He wasn’t sure it was actually a joke, now that he thought about it. Inej picked lighter colors than she normally wore, and was planning on wearing her hair down. Kaz knew she was beautiful in anything, but the thought of his Wraith in the country, appearing like a young rural bride, was definitely captivating.
He was looking forward to playing these roles in a way he hadn’t anticipated when he’d first started planning this vacation. They were both pretending to a normalcy neither of them had really experienced, and with it came a freedom. For a week, he didn’t need to be the Bastard of the Barrel, or Dirtyhands, or even Kaz Brekker. She didn’t have to be the Wraith, or Captain Ghafa. They could try being a young couple in love, with far fewer cares. He wasn’t entirely sure knew how to set down his other personas, but he was going to damn well try. After the whirlwind of the last week, Kaz was surely ready for this vacation.
Ketterdam’s weekend papers proclaimed the Rogues Gallery opening gala a sweeping public success, much to Kaz’s satisfaction. There’d even been a description of the Dregs in their custom crow masks. ‘No longer the bottom of the Barrel, these Crows are soaring to new heights.’ His lieutenants were as prepared as they could be to run the crew and all of their businesses in his absence. Anika and Pim seemed to have some extra pep in them, perhaps enthusiastic to take on the challenge. They’d hashed out transfers of staff and assignments for the coming week in an afternoon meeting. Jesper was going to check in at the Slat a few times. No one knew Kaz and Inej’s actual destination, and only Specht, Wylan, and Jesper even knew they would be together. The Wraith had departed Fifth Harbor at dawn with Shiru dressed as Inej.
Kaz kept telling himself that everything was managed. Even as he boarded the browboat destined for Olendaal, gripping his cane tightly, he attempted to settle his mind. To get himself into a headspace where he actually could enjoy this getaway with Inej. Unlike his crow head cane, the carved maple handle didn’t dig into his palm with a familiar pattern. The difference served as a rather effective sensory distraction.
The browboat was full of laborers who lived in the cheaper parts of Ketterdam, and worked in factories just outside of the city. Or farms further south. This particular route did a loop down to Olendaal, and then back up. They’d arranged for Inej to take an earlier browboat, so they wouldn’t be seen leaving together. Even if neither of them was overly recognizable at present, Kaz wanted to reduce the risks as much as possible. He’d meant what he’d said to Inej about the farm needing to be a secret. She’d fussed a tad about some of his security measures, but she agreed to each detail when he explained his reasons. For that, Kaz was grateful.
A few miles outside of the city, a new concern made itself known. Kaz found a detail he’d neglected in all of his planning. It was ridiculously sunny outside of Ketterdam today, and he could already feel the building warmth on all of his exposed skin. He regretted not procuring a man’s straw hat. Though they were rarer in the city, he might have been able to get one. Maybe in Olendaal. Or Lij. Kaz did actually want his skin to get some color so he’d stick out less in the south. He just didn’t fancy getting a sunburn. At each stop, the browboat emptied more, and by Olendaal, it was him and five others disembarking. He was fairly certain his cheeks were starting to gain color, because his forearms were definitely doing so. There was even the hint of more freckles starting to peak out on his skin. His Wraith would be entertained, at the very least. He made his way towards their prearranged rendezvous point, a wave of eager anticipation rolling over him. This was really where their vacation began, in many ways, and he couldn’t wait to lay eyes on her.
Kaz spotted Inej standing near the fountain. She appeared soft and lovely, in a flowing cornflower blue dress, her hair cascading around her under a wide brimmed straw hat. A crocheted ivory cardigan covered most of her bare arms and a good portion of the scars that might raise eyebrows. The sun lit her like a painting of a Saint. Sankta Inej. He had to remind himself to start breathing again. As he moved through the crowded market, he could see the exact moment of recognition.
Inej was scanning the throngs of people. Her gaze roved over him twice. On the third pass, she stopped, and her coffee brown eyes went wide. The grin that curled her lips was bright and amused. Kaz strode to her, using the maple cane to help part the crowd. People tended to be polite to a person with a cane in Olendaal. No one moved out of his way because of who he was, rather it was out of courtesy to a cripple. It was an interesting distinction, far different from roving on the streets in Ketterdam. When he got to Inej, she was subtly shaking her head, and chuckling. The light sound of her laughter made everything brighter.
"I barely recognized you," Inej murmured.
"That’s kind of the point, my beloved." Kaz grinned down at her. She wore flat sandals, and it seemed to accentuate their height difference. He opened his arms to invite her in for an embrace. As she wrapped her arms around his waist, he told her, "You look absolutely lovely."
"Thank you. You…" she paused, and leaned back to stare up at him, "The hair is throwing me for a loop. Can I touch it?" She sounded almost giddy, and his heart would have wagged its tail like a puppy were that possible. He contemplated if he could handle that touch here in public. Mathijs could. So he’d try.
"Sure, gentle though," he whispered.
Inej reached up a hand, tousling his loose hair affectionately. The shiver that went through him made her laugh again. His heart was ready to roll over and show its tummy. When she withdrew her hand, he shook his head, trying to regain his composure.
"It seems softer. I like it," she remarked.
"Tij said that could happen. Something about the weight of minerals and pigments. She changed it with as little touching as possible."
"Huh. I'm going to be doing double takes for a bit.” Inej glanced up and down his body again. In a hush, she asked, “Your tattoo? How?”
She must have recognized the lack of make up. He answered quietly, “Tij. It’s currently on her arm. I don’t understand how it works, but she said it’s reversible. She actually asked about copying a Dregs tattoo for herself at some point.”
Inej blinked, her face still lit with joy as she studied him. “Huh. Wow. You look… like a different you."
His heart thumping a heavy beat in his chest, Kaz smirked, "So long as you keep gazing at me with that grin." He checked his crow pocket watch, "We have a cart to go pick up."
"I remember the horse cart. Are we picking up supplies here?" When he’d first described the plan for the cart, Inej seemed disappointed that they weren't going to ride individually. He knew she was quite skilled on horseback. With some frustration, he’d grudgingly explained that it hurt his bad leg to be in the saddle for long periods. Her reaction was calm acceptance. That helped soothe the admission.
"No, we'll stop in Lij."
"Alright." Inej picked up her bag, "Lead the way."
He’d arranged the horse cart in advance, under his alias. The Shu man who ran the stable asked Kaz a few questions, confirming when they’d be returning. Kaz paid some extra kruge to allay any concerns. By the time he was done with the stable master, Tessia, their palomino mare, was already hooked up to the small cart. She greeted Kaz with a nudge, nibbling at his pockets in search of treats. He let the mare sniff and explore for a few moments before running his hands over her, checking for soundness before they set off. The mare was calm, sturdy, in fit condition, and Kaz didn’t find any issues. Except that she seemed disappointed in his lack of treats. Inej observed the proceedings with a delighted smile.
“Hush you,” he murmured.
“I didn’t say anything,” she pointed out tartly.
Kaz snorted. “You were thinking loudly.”
“Was I?” He offered her a hand to climb up into the cart. She returned the favor, pulling to aid his clamoring up. Kaz wedged his maple cane so that it wouldn't knock loose. As they settled into the bench seat at the front of the cart, Inej leaned in, lowered her voice, and inquired, “Mathijs Rietveld?”
“Ahh. Yes.” Kaz gave a flip of the reins, urging Tessia to move off. “Your identification papers are in my satchel, outer pocket.” As she turned to search his bag, he spared a thought for how Inej might react to the aliases he’d set up so long ago. She had just left on The Wraith for the first time. He’d wanted to ensure that if anyone decided to come for the new ‘King’ of the Barrel, that the farm would be secure. And that Inej would have some assets to use beyond her own wealth. Using new aliases, and his considerable newfound resources, Kaz made arrangements for a fully backstopped alter ego for each of them. He just hadn’t told Inej the details; like the fact that the aliases were married. Given their recent discussion about his new tattoo, the ‘suprukravata’, and his thoughts about marrying Inej, a knot was busy tying itself in his guts.
_
Inej stared at her identification papers as they headed south. She pondered the alias, noticing that his was rather obviously a nod to Matthias. Inge was close enough to Inej. Even if Inge wasn’t a Suli name. They both shared Kaz’s original surname of Rietveld. I doubt he set these up as siblings.
“Kaz… how long have you had alter egos set up for us that are married?”
“No comment.” He pointedly gazed at Tessia’s rump.
She glared at the side of his head. “Avoiding the question won’t keep me from asking again.”
He sighed, “Since the last time I transferred ownership of the farm.”
Wait. The farm’s in these names? Now she had even more questions. He’d still not answered the first one, however. “That still didn’t answer the question, Kaz.”
He stared off into the distance, his answer quiet, “Right after you left on The Wraith the first time.”
“Over two years!?” Inej realized she’d raised her voice when the crows in a nearby tree spooked and flew off. Their palomino mare was remarkably unfazed.
Kaz looked at her now, a bit of defiance on his face, “If anything happened to me… I needed to make sure the farm would be in good hands. You would’ve been notified of your inheritance upon return to Ketterdam.”
She glowered at him, eyebrows raised, “Did that require us to be married?”
He blinked, and she noted the tiniest flush in his already sun warmed skin. “It was the easiest way to set up the inheritance, and give you the ability to own land in Kerch.”
“Kaz Brekker, you don’t fool me for a second. You set up false identifications, forged documents, and convoluted schemes like most people put on socks, and you want me to believe you went with the easiest way to do something?” By the time she’d reached the last word, she was nearly shouting.
“Inej, I…”
“Married for over two years! And you didn’t tell me. Not once. Not even this summer!”
“It’s on paper for our aliases…”
“It’s so obviously more than that!”
“What… what would you like me to say here?” Kaz sounded ready to placate her, whatever it took.
What do I want him to say here? A few possibilities ran through her mind, all while he tensely held the reins and kept glancing between her, the horse, and the road. She could feel him getting more nervous. Good. Inej attempted to pick apart why this was bugging her. Did she mind posing as his wife? No. They’d posed as a variety of characters for schemes in the past. Did she perhaps, very much, like the idea of posing as his wife? Yes. But he’d never proposed, and there was an entire set of issues they’d need to tackle before it could happen for their real identities. Did she want him to propose? Did he plan on proposing? Kaz had mentioned the ‘suprukravata’ and researching Suli courtship.
Oh Saints. She stared at her own hands for a moment, contemplating a ring, the painting of wedding mehndi, her fingers clasped with his as the cord was woven around their joined hands. Would he want to get married? Would he be willing to go to her family and do so in Suli tradition? A hundred questions coursed through her mind, and she was no closer to an answer for him or herself. This wasn’t exactly the energy she wanted to start their vacation with. Inej grasped at one idea, and threw it at him.
“How about you tell me this trip is the honeymoon that Inge apparently missed when she married Mathijs?”
Kaz appeared relieved when she finally spoke. “My dearest Inge, I’ll carry you over the threshold.”
Inej narrowed her eyes at him. The answer had come so readily, she was suspicious. “Were you planning on doing that anyway?”
“No comment.”
“Kaz, I swear…”
“You should probably start calling me Mat.”
She huffed at him. He’d gone from nervous back to cocky. She murmured, “Does Inge happen to know that Mat has the most sensitive nipples in all of Kerch?”
Kaz inhaled sharply, his cheeks went from sun warmed to bright pink, and his grip on the reins tightened to the point that Tessia whinnied. He didn’t even say ‘no comment’ this time. Inej gave him a few moments to recover before asking her next question.
“Do you have wedding bands for us?”
Because she’d given him time, it was rather apparent when Kaz blushed all over again. He grasped the reins in one hand, reaching back into his satchel with the other. Inej watched in fascination as he fished around for a moment. Then he produced a small, black velvet pouch. He offered it to her.
“I was going to get them out before Lij. I had them made while you were away.”
Inej took the pouch from his hand, careful not to linger on his skin. They already were pressed together at hip and thigh by nature of the cart’s bench seat. She didn’t want to overwhelm him with too much touch this early on their trip. Carefully, she opened the velvet pouch. Inside was a set of silver bands. The smaller one, by no means delicate, featured three cabochon stones set flush with the band. Rare teal sapphires, that were like the depths of the True Sea on a bright day. He said he had this made recently. Not stolen, but specifically crafted for them. Inej stared, mouth hanging open.
“Kaz, this… it’s… Saints, this is beautiful.”
She realized the cart had come to a halt. Kaz was turned towards her, the reins tucked between his knees, one hand outstretched. “Allow me?” His words were nearly timid.
“Yes,” Inej murmured, surprise pleasantly thrumming through her as she dropped the smaller ring into his waiting palm, keeping the other band. Kaz gently took her left hand, and slid the silver band onto her ring finger. It fit perfectly. His smile was shy, nearly reverent. She had to remember to inhale. It still occasionally shocked her to see him like this. Not only was he being vulnerable, there was something so tender in his manner. Between the changes Tij had made and the difference in his clothes, Kaz looked younger. There were fewer sharp edges, like he was hewn from sandstone rather than chiseled out of marble.
“Do you like it?” Kaz asked earnestly. As if she might not.
“Do I…” Saints, this man! “Yes. Yes, I like it. May I?” She gestured with the remaining silver band. A little thicker, but plain, no stones or markings. Kaz offered up his left hand. There was a thrill, in holding the band, sliding it onto his ring finger. Watching him, his eyes flicking down and then back to her face. When the ring was in place, he flexed his hand.
“Well, husband, care for a kiss?”
Kaz’s slow blink was worth a million kruge all on its own. Rather than answer in words, he reached up gently with his right hand, brushing his fingers under her chin. Inej leaned forward into the contact. The kiss he gave her was light and sweet and warm. It was one that promised more to come, but didn’t stoke a hunger they couldn’t easily satisfy on the side of the road. It still left Inej catching her breath once more.
Tessia whickered, likely wondering what the hold up was. Kaz made a soothing noise towards the horse, then gazed down at Inej’s left hand. “Well, wife, shall we get underway again?”
That’s going to take some getting used to. Inej shook her head in wonderment. “Yes. I’m keeping the ring, even after our vacation, I’ll have you know.”
He chuckled, “Of course. I hadn’t imagined taking it back.”
Oh. Huh. As Kaz urged Tessia to move forward again, Inej contemplated her feelings about the rings now occupying their fingers. If Kaz hadn’t planned to take her ring back, was it a promise of something to come? The flash on his bare hand on the reins kept catching her eyes, as did the teal sapphires glinting in the sun. Wearing rings all the time might not actually fit their lifestyles. She could imagine it getting damaged in battle. I could always put it on a necklace… Many Suli did that for performances or work. Kaz’s gloves would protect his band. Inej realized all of this was a bit theoretical. The rings were for these aliases. For the proper appearance for their trip. A new question popped into her head.
“Kaz… Is Inge Rietveld a Kerch citizen?”
“Of course, otherwise she couldn't own or inherit the property.” His answer was succinct, and he spared a sideways glance as they passed day laborers working in a cabbage field.
Quietly, she asked, “So you set up a Kerch citizenship for a Suli woman?”
“That’s another reason for the marriage…” Kaz studied her a little longer this time. His tone suggested a confession as he continued. “I wanted… I wanted to set it up so that you’d inherit the farm without any issues. And so that you could buy other property if you chose… There’s a separate account for Inge accruing interest in the Gemensbank, by the way.” He returned his gaze to the horse and the road as she gaped at him.
This man! Would Kaz ever stop astonishing her? “I… you…” Inej attempted to gather her thoughts. He had, without ever telling her, given her the ability to purchase property of her own in Kerch if she wanted. And trusted her to inherit his family’s farm. After all of their revelations during the argument the morning after her return, he didn’t tell her this. What am I going to do with him?! Could he never reveal all the aces up his sleeves at once? No. No, of course he couldn’t. “Is there anything else you haven’t told me, about this alias, or properties in this name, or other secrets?”
His shoulders hunched, and he seemed to be studying the road through Tessia’s ears. “Ahhh. Well. Inge and Mathijs also own a house in Zierfoort. It’s where my land manager thinks we live, and sends letters. Plus my spiders use it when they go south. Then there’s two investment portfolios that feed into accounts in each name. Inge is also the beneficiary for one of my other aliases that holds property in Novyi Zem.”
She exhaled expressively. “Saints, Kaz. Just how rich is Inge?”
The reins transferred to one hand again, and he swiped the other up the back of his neck. He’d gone pink and still wasn’t looking at her. “Not quite as rich as Inej Ghafa, unless you liquidated the properties. But well off enough to buy a townhouse in the Zelver, or maybe even the Geldin district.”
Inej tried to wrap her mind around the fact that if she chose, with this alias, she could have a house of her own in Ketterdam. Or in the countryside outside of it. She opened her mouth to ask him why he hadn’t told her sooner, and then shut it again. He was too used to keeping secrets. And all of this was tied to the farm. Kaz probably hadn’t even imagined being able to tell her any of this before the last few months. Instead, she decided to ask, “Do you realize what you’ve done?”
“I…” There was trepidation in his tone. “Please don’t be mad, Inej… Inge.”
Inej took a risk, and laid her hand on his leg, giving a small squeeze. Kaz gave the slightest shudder, then gazed down at her hand. “I’m not mad, Kaz. I’m grateful. You’ve given me the ability and the means to purchase property in Kerch if I want. I do wish, perhaps, that you’d told me sooner. But I… I understand why you didn’t, given what was at stake.”
“Oh,” he replied softly. His shoulders relaxed, and he laid his hand over hers. Kaz interlaced their fingers slowly. His silver band shone in the midday sun, and Inej couldn’t help but smile down at it.
“I love you, you infuriating man.”
“You said you weren’t mad.” The smile playing at the corners of his lips was evident in his voice. Inej shook her head. “I love you, too.”
For a while, they traveled in companionable silence. Fields of various crops went by, and Tessia plodded along the road with little fuss. While the Kerch countryside wasn’t all that different from some parts of rural Ravka, their passage was much more quiet and peaceful than traveling with a Suli caravan. It was just the two of them and Tessia. No long train of vagons, no scout riders ranging ahead. No chattering children or barking dogs or singing aunties or uncles. And when they did pass another cart here and there on the road, there wasn’t much in the way of strange or displeased looks.
Kaz eventually reclaimed his hand, taking out a handkerchief to wipe sweat from his brow. Inej borrowed it to do the same. She removed her straw hat, and braided her loose hair. Having it down was like having a blanket on her back, and the day was heating up considerably. Kaz let her know there was a flask with water in his satchel, so she fetched it and they both took a drink.
“How much further to Lij?”
He checked his crow pocket watch. “Maybe another half hour. We’re only stopping in Lij for some food and supplies. It’s the biggest town nearby. The farm is a bit further on.”
“Ah. Is there a name for the town where the farm is?”
“Kippendorp,” he replied quietly.
It took Inej a moment to recall what the name meant in Kerch, and she glanced at him with quirked eyebrows, trying not to display her amusement.
“There are a lot of chicken farms. Now you know why I just say it’s near Lij.”
Did he just sound defensive? I figured it was a security measure. Her curiosity was peaked, “Did you have chickens?”
“We had some, but our father concentrated more on wheat and feed crops.”
His voice had gone tight on the word ‘father’. As much as Inej wanted to ask him more, she knew he’d need to talk about this at his own pace. She'd been trying to imagine him, as a child, on a farm. It was easier, with him driving the cart, dressed as he was now. The blond streaked brown hair was still throwing her off. Kaz appeared so different from his usual self. But then, so did she. Even if there were smaller knives hidden in her dress, and Sankt Petyr strapped to her thigh.
Kaz’s face had developed a pink glow, and this time she knew it wasn’t a blush. Inej swore she could see even more freckles coming out on his cheeks and forearms. She took her straw hat off, and offered it to him. “Here, put this on or you’re going to end up with a sunburn.”
He huffed, but took the hat. It didn’t quite fit, and he handed her the reins for a moment while he used the hat’s blue ribbon ties to hold it perched on his head. The combination of the too small hat and his perturbed expression was ridiculously amusing, but Inej refused to laugh.
“I’ll get one of my own in Lij,” he grouched.
-
Kaz stared forward at Tessia’s rump as the mare plodded down the road. They were well out of Lij now, the back of the cart full of food and supplies. A new hat that actually fit sat on his head. While it was an improvement, it did nothing for his current frustrations. The storm of anxiety busy raging through his mind had him fighting to keep his calm.
“I’m sure it will be fine, my drage,” Inej tried again to soothe him.
He wanted to growl out another rebuttal. Don’t ruin the start of your vacation. Kaz wasn’t sure whose voice that was in his head, and that didn’t help matters at all. He did manage to police his tone. “I just… I didn’t expect Verner to recognize me. It’s been nearly a month since the last time I stopped in Lij. Plus, I look different this time. The stable master in Olendaal didn’t recognize me.”
Inej pointed out, “Shopkeepers like Verner make it their business to recognize their customers. He's going to remember Mathijs Rietveld and his Suli wife. There’s no way around that. But he won’t remember Kaz Brekker. Or Captain Ghafa.”
She was probably right. Inej was often right. This was a thing he intrinsically knew, and kept being proven to him, repeatedly. However, Kaz also knew there were still former Dime Lions in Kerch who had either heard Rollins say ‘two boys from Lij’, or had heard the tale of that afternoon second hand. The skiv didn’t even get our hometown right. That was definitely Jordie’s voice. Kaz had never corrected Rollins on the name of their actual hometown. Yeah, but Verner is in Lij, and other people know the name Rietveld. Excellent. Now he wasn’t just arguing with Inej, he was also arguing with his brother in his head. He wondered just how many dominos would have to line up for the connection to be made between the name Rietveld, the town of Lij, and the rest of it. Jordie annoyingly suggested that Kaz could have chosen a different surname for the aliases. Look, I don’t need you of all people telling me about my own hubris, alright?
“Kaz?” Inej’s voice cut into the maelstrom in his head.
“What?!” His harsh reply surprised both him and Inej. She drew back from him, putting an arm's length of space between them on the cart’s bench. He suddenly felt like he’d been fighting actual opponents. His heart jackrabbited in his chest. Damnit! Kaz bit the inside of his cheek, and took a deep breath in and out, trying to get himself under control. “Sorry… I just…”
“You were miles away for a moment there.”
He could almost hear her unspoken questions. “I…” Kaz planned to tell Inej once they were at the farm, about the memories he’d unlocked. About how Jordie’s voice had changed. How so much had changed, since his last visit south. Could he start now? You’re going to tell her anyway, little brother. Kaz clenched his hands rather than bite his cheeks raw. Tessia nickered as he inadvertently pulled the reins. He glanced sideways at Inej; she knew perfectly well how to drive a cart. “Could you… Would you take the reins?”
She studied him, her face curious and far too kind, but took the reins when he handed them over.
“We’ll be on this road for a while,” Kaz told her as he moved to press his side to hers once more, concentrating on the warmth of that connection. She stayed close. He watched the fields go by for a few moments. Flexed his hands, then let them rest on his thighs, tapping out a rhythm that matched the mare’s hoof beats. When he felt his heartbeat calm, Kaz attempted an explanation. “I… I got a bit lost in my head. Sort of fell down a rabbit hole of worry… You’re probably right about Verner. You’re usually right.”
She leaned against him, pressing her shoulder to his upper arm. “I do like it when you say I’m right. I’ll also point out that your country accent came out in spades in the store, and that’s another step of obfuscation between Mathijs Rietveld and Kaz Brekker.”
Kaz huffed. He had specifically slipped back into a southern Kerch accent the moment they’d driven the cart into Lij. “You noticed that, huh?”
“It’s rather endearing, actually.” Inej grinned up at him from under her straw hat before returning her eyes to the road and their horse. “It comes out sometimes when you’re really tired or drunk.”
Well, fuck. “It does?” He’d made a point of dropping his accent as much as possible when he’d crawled from the Harbor. No one needed to know his actual origins. And picking up a Ketterdam accent had proved safer in the long run.
“I think you might only do it around me, but we can always ask the boys.”
Momentarily disconcerted, Kaz blinked. He had been letting his guard down around Jesper and Wylan of late. And getting drunk with them. They know you’re from southern Kerch, you podge. Ah yes, helpful older brother. Thanks Jordie. Now, could you shut it for a bit?
“Inej?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you for being patient with me.” The gracious words cost less effort these days. Just tell her. Kaz wondered if it was possible to punch a voice in his head. Not for the first time. Definitely not for the last time, either. Seriously, Jordie, I’m trying.
“Of course, my drage. ”
Keeping an eye out for the large rock that marked the lane to the farm, Kaz took a steadying breath and tried to heed Jordie’s prompting. “Before we get to the farm… I need… I…”
A strong hand gripped his knee. Inej held the reins in her other hand, and wasn’t looking at him. That contact, however, was the anchor he needed. How strange that Inej’s touch did that for him now.
“I wanted to tell you… About what happened when I came here last time. I told you some… About how it unlocked some memories. I just…” Kaz exhaled a shaky breath out. He’d rather be fighting an army of gang members, or maybe even a Grisha on parem, than trying to explain this. Not when his head was being this blasted loud. He plunged ahead all the same. “I didn’t quite go into all the details. When I went upstairs, to our old bedrooms… I sort of… I guess I had a kind of mental breakthrough. Maybe a breakdown. I told you that I remembered who I used to be. Who Jordie really was. But it’s… it’s more than that…”
He trailed off as Inej squeezed his leg. Half a field went by as he sought the words to continue, and she waited, so patient it nearly hurt. Finally, she inquired, “How so, Kaz?”
The question made it easier, somehow. It gave him a path to follow. “You know how I’ve told you about Jordie’s voice in my head?” Inej nodded. “He was quieter for a bit. And then… after I went to the farm…Well, he’s changed a lot. He sounds… more like I imagine he would if he’d gotten to grow up some. He’s often a helpful voice now. And then there’s… Well. There’s…”
Just tell her. You trust her.
“There’s our turn.” Kaz pointed to the rock on their left.
Inej directed Tessia and their cart down the lane. It required both hands, but she soon returned one to his knee. Then tilted her head inquisitively. She knew him entirely too well to accept that all that stammering was solely about the turn off.
“There’s a new voice. I guess… He’s not really new. I just… I just thought I’d killed him. That he was dead…” Good Ghezen, I sound like an idiot. “I’m doing a shit job of explaining this.”
When she didn’t say anything, Kaz gathered his courage and tried again. “I found out that Kaz Rietveld is still kicking around in my brain. I guess I unlocked the vault I’d bricked him up in, when I went into Jordie’s bedroom. And ever since the farm… My head is occasionally crowded. It’s been… rough… Like a balancing act, or juggling knives and a flaming ball and a glass bowl full of fish all at once.”
He sucked in a breath of country fresh air before continuing. “So… When you said I was miles away… It was more that all the voices in my head were arguing over security concerns. And I… I’m not sure if this is going to keep happening while we’re at the farm. I went down the first time to make sure I wasn’t going to fall apart on you. And I… I thought that I… Every time I think I have it under control, I get stressed about something and then my head becomes a cacophony and… And I don’t want to ruin our vacation, and I want to be okay, and I’m not sure how to hold it all together…” His heart was back to thumping its way out of his ribs, and Kaz realized his fingers were digging into his thighs painfully.
“Breathe, my drage …” Inej demonstrated with an exaggerated breath in and out. Kaz had to swallow several gulps of air before he could repeat what she’d done. “You’re okay, Kaz, you’re here with me.” An entire field of wildflowers and wheat went by before he felt in control again. The sweat pouring down his back was only partially due to the afternoon sun. “Are you feeling a little better?”
Kaz nodded, not trusting his mouth just yet.
“Thank you for telling me,” Inej told him softly. “I figured that visiting the farm might be tough on you, so you aren’t going to ruin anything about our vacation, do you understand? I get to be here with you, in the country, with no Barrel bosses, no gang leaders, and no slavers. Just you and me and fresh air and gorgeous views. And all those stars you promised me at night. We’re fine. You’re fine.”
He nodded again, and then gestured. The dusky red barn had come into view. We should get that painted again. Fix the roof. Kaz willed his mind to coalesce into something usable again. He knew focusing on the tasks at hand would help. “Bhashe, Inej. Turn into the second entrance, that takes us directly to the barn.”
“It’s beautiful, Kaz. I didn’t think the house would be so big.” Inej sounded pleased as she aimed the horse and cart towards the barn.
“The farm itself is about twenty morgen. The house was built by my grandfather Johannus, his father, and some neighbors. Records state the Hoedemaker clan originally owned the parcel. They were the closest neighbors, but their property is now managed and leased.” Stating facts about the farm seemed to settle him a bit. “Pull up to the barn, and I’ll get the door.”
“Or you could give me the key and let me do it?” Of course Inej offered. And noticed the padlock.
Kaz grabbed his maple cane. “I need something to focus on.”
She noticed his tone, as well, and didn’t object as he climbed down from the cart. Both of his legs were stiff, but much better for their stop in Lij, and being in a cart rather than on horseback. Kaz gave Tessia a pat on the nose as he moved to the barn door. The shiny Langenberg padlock had been a new request to Morten. Not that Kaz thought it was likely that anyone was going to travel out this far to steal anything. But his paranoia wanted nothing to go wrong for their vacation. And a week’s worth of grain and hay along with other supplies were stored in the barn. Drawing out the key that Cory had delivered along with Morten’s last letter, he got the barn door open. Everything was laid out as Morten described. He beckoned Inej forward.
Once Tessia and the cart were inside, Inej asked, “What can I do to help?”
“We’ll get her unhitched, then back the cart into that section. If you can fill the water bucket in the first stall, that would be good. The water pump is just to the left, outside.” Kaz pointed out the various areas and items as he spoke, and Inej nodded. He placed his cane in the cart again. They went about their tasks, and the simple labor did indeed soothe his mind. Tessia stood in the area outside the stall patiently while he rubbed her down. Standing here in the barn, running the brush over her one last time, Kaz realized Tessia reminded him of Gerlinde, his mother’s palomino mare. Even down to the pocket nibbling habit. He put those thoughts aside with only a minor pang of aching nostalgia. When he grabbed a handful of grain to give the mare a treat, he realized Inej was watching him with utter delight on her face.
“You’re really good with horses, my drage. ”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “You almost sound surprised.”
“It’s just yet another facet of you I’m discovering. And I like it.”
“Ahh, huh.” While he was distracted, Tessia nibbled at his hand, then licked all traces of grain flavor off of him. Ugh. He scrubbed his hand onto the mare’s neck while Inej giggled. Saints. Horse saliva apparently didn’t trigger his issues, but it wasn’t exactly a pleasant sensation, either. “We can come back out later to give her a full meal, but for now, can you open the outer stall door into the pasture?”
Inej did as he asked, and he led Tessia into the stall, closing the inner half door behind him. The mare saw the opening to the lush green pasture, and perked up. As Inej stepped aside, Tessia let out a happy chuff and trotted out into the sun, immediately tearing into greenery with gusto.
He and Inej exited the stall back into the barn. “I noticed a cat door next to the spigot. Is that what gave you the idea for your offices and bedroom?”
“A bit, yeah. We had barn cats. A tortoiseshell cat named Schaduw, and a gray tom named Vlekken. They were good hunters, but not really as friendly as Krai.” Another little pang snuck through him, but each piece felt a little lighter than on his last visit. As if thinking of these things the second or third time was lessening their power to hurt him, bit by bit.
Kaz crossed to the cart, and Inej followed him with a soft smile. “You’re good with Krai, too, you know. Maybe you’re just secretly good with all animals.”
Having contemplated that before, he explained, “Animals are easier to understand than people at times. Their motives are simpler, generally.”
“True,” she agreed.
He picked up his maple cane, as well as his satchel, and one of their grocery bags. Inej tutted at him, then shouldered her bag, and took the rest of their groceries.
“You can close the barn door,” he offered.
She huffed, a hint of amusement mixed with tolerance. He led the way along the stone path that led to the house, dappled sun shining through the trees decorating their way. A steady breeze was coming in from the south. The air was crisp, carrying the scent of wildflowers and warm soil.
“Set everything down on the bench, losha,” Kaz requested as he put his own burdens down, including his cane. He unlocked the front door, and turned to Inej. He hadn’t forgotten her request. It aligned nicely with his plan to forge new memories for the farm house. Holding out his arms, he asked, “Dearest Inge, would you allow me the honor of carrying you over the threshold?”
Inej’s smile then rivaled the play of sunshine from the bright blue sky; her dark eyes sparkled, and her voice was a song as she replied. “Why Mathijs, it would be my pleasure.”
Kaz scooped her up into his arms in a bridal carry. He ignored his bad leg’s protests, her hat tumbling from her head, and his getting knocked askew. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she laughed, a shining sound that lit him up inside. Holding her against his chest as he stepped into the house was priceless.
“Welcome to our vacation, Mistress Rietveld,” he murmured into her neck before he set her down.
She stayed pressed against him, fingers sliding up his neck and knocking his hat all the way off. The touch was firm, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. Kaz leaned down, searching her face, wanting her lips against his to burn this into his mind forever. Inej obliged him. Her hands gripped the back of his head, and her mouth on his was magic. Warmth turned to fiery want. He reminded himself they had an entire week to make more memories. And groceries that needed to be brought in. When they broke apart, both of them smiling and giddy, she whispered, “Thank you, Mister Rietveld.”
The sound of that name on her lips felt right, like a key sliding into a lock, or a coin gliding through his fingers to slip into his sleeve. It clicked something deep inside him into place. Before Kaz could overthink it, he pleaded in a hush, “Say it again.”
“What? Mister Rietveld?”
Kaz impulsively kissed her once more. Inej returned it, laughing into his mouth. He thought he might just burst with happiness right then.
“My drage,” she said between one kiss and the next. “The groceries?”
She’s right. Kaz nodded and straightened, reluctantly releasing her. She gave his neck one more squeeze before picking up their hats. Her cardigan and both hats got hung by the door. Then she was dancing out to start bringing in bags. He turned, spotting the decorated kitchen table for the first time. A light blue and green checked tablecloth was laid over the old wood, and a glass vase of wildflowers, including chamomile, stood next to the oil lamp. There was a short note from Morten and Henny. A fresh berry cobbler from Henny’s mother Heidi, and a basket of chicken eggs. The land manager and his family had gone to extra lengths to make them welcome. Kaz thought yet again that he’d gotten a good deal with Morten Kyler.
Alright. Stage two of the plan. “Can you put the groceries and these eggs away while I take things to the bedroom?” He ensured that Inej knew where the larder and bathroom were before he ducked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. While she was busy, he dug into the bottom of his satchel, below his clothes, and pulled out the second surprise. The first had been the rings. Kaz was still a bit dumbfounded at how that had gone over. He glanced down at his left hand, where the plain silver band shone. Not used to wearing rings, this one felt a little out of place, and yet… Inej had placed it there with a look of awe and love. He shook himself back to reality. There was a bedspread to put in place.
When he’d returned from the farm weeks back, Kaz put in a rush order for another Suli bedspread from the supplier in Little Ravka. This one was more colorful than the one in his bedroom, though he’d still made sure it wasn’t like anything that had been at the Menagerie. Colorful semi-circles of pink, sky blue, lilac, and turquoise were stitched together in fan shapes. He laid it out over the fresh sheets on the bed. Then he went about unpacking his clothes into the chest and wardrobe. Kaz was just putting his pistol in the nightstand drawer when Inej knocked on the door from the kitchen. “Come in.”
As she entered, Kaz studied her reaction while she took in the entirety of the room. So he got to witness the exact moment she saw the bedspread. “Ohhh, Kaz… is that… did you…”
He rounded the bed to where she stood, astonished. She made a lovely vision in her cornflower blue sundress, braid hanging down her back. Good Ghezen, she’s beautiful. He captured this image and recorded it in his mind. Picking up her hands, he stared down at the rings on their fingers for a beat before he explained, “I got it specifically for the farm. I want… I want to fill this place with new memories. Of you. Of us.”
-
Inej was caught by the shine of her own joy reflected in Kaz’s eyes. One advantage to dating a man who kept more secrets than the entire Ravkan spy network was that he was rather talented at surprises. The colorful Suli bedspread laying behind him was proof. As were the rings on their joined hands. His desire to make fresh memories with her in his childhood home overwhelmed her in the best way. She squeezed his fingers, and gave him the surest words that came to mind. “Me mangave pa. ”
“Me isto, Inej,” he murmured, leaning down to brush a kiss across her forehead. When he pulled back, she could see Kaz was nearly as affected as she was by the moment.
Offering him a way to transition, she asked, “I got all the food and supplies put up, by the way. What’s next, my drage ?”
“Ahh. Thank you. Well, you could unpack?”
“I can definitely do that.” Realizing which side of the bed he’d already chosen, she smiled and gestured next to where they stood. “This side’s mine?”
“Yes. I’ll go open windows for some cross breezes.” He gave her hands one more caress before he let go. Then he moved to open the bedroom’s two windows in turn. The curtains began to billow in the fresh scented breeze from outside. Inej simply watched him for a minute, marveling over not only how different he appeared, but how he seemed lighter. Like he’d shed the mantle of Barrel boss on the ride south. What he’d tried to explain as they approached the farm made it seem like his balancing act had been harder since his last visit here. She was reminded yet again what a study in contradictions Kaz could be. So strong, both in his steel will and physical presence, but inside there was a fragile boy who was figuring out how to exist. Maybe it would be easier for him to figure out some of it while they were here.
When Kaz got to the door on the other side of the room, cane in hand, he glanced back only to find her with her foot on the bed, skirt hiked to retrieve Sankt Petyr from her thigh. His eyebrows rose in amusement. Inej placed her favorite knife into the nightstand drawer with a flourish and then made a shooing motion at Kaz. He stayed until she flipped her skirt over her leg once more. She couldn’t help but chuckle. Then she unpacked her bag, noting the light colored garments he’d brought in the wardrobe. It was refreshing, if a bit odd, to see him out of his black suits. To see his sun warmed skin, and so much of. He’d shown her the special gloves that Tij had made, but so far, Kaz hadn’t needed them. They were currently laying on his nightstand. Pride filled her heart at the progress he’d made with touch and going without gloves over the last four months.
Once Inej finished emptying her bag, she went in search of Kaz. He stood at the kitchen sink, filling a pitcher with water. “Making some lemonade for us.”
“Sounds delicious, thank you.” They’d lunched in Lij, then picked up hand pies, cabbage rolls, and other prepared items at Verner’s to make their first few meals easy. There was also food for them to cook, a bottle of kvas, and one of a sweet local wine. Inej had more experience in a kitchen than he did, but neither of them had cooked on their own much.
She’d helped her parents and other family make meals during her visits to the caravan. Otherwise, there was Tafa on The Wraith, Hans and the house staff at the mansion, and plenty of choices in Ketterdam for food one didn’t have to cook. And Kaz… well, Inej would count herself lucky he had a crew that made sure he actually ate on occasion. Jeter was always eager to go fetch hot meals from the various stands in the Barrel. She also knew everyone who lived in the Slat was aware of how Kaz liked his coffee, his sandwiches, and his snacks. No one ever wanted to be the Dregs’ member who got chewed out for bringing him something he didn’t like. So they shared his preferences like valued insider knowledge. She wasn’t sure if Kaz himself was fully aware of this. The only tidbit Inej was certain wasn’t common knowledge was just how much Kaz liked chocolate. She’d gotten some bars of dark chocolate and a tin of hot cocoa powder in Ketterdam, and they were now hidden in a cabinet. Two could play at surprises for their vacation.
Kaz finished preparing the lemonade, and poured them each a glass. It might have been improved by ice, but the cool, fresh water from the well here beat anything available in Ketterdam. Inej finished off her portion in a few long, heavenly gulps. The afternoon was only just starting to cool down.
“Glad you like it.” Kaz raised his glass and downed the last of his own portion. “If we find some ripe berries, we can add them in if you like.”
“Oooh. Did you want to go check the bushes?” Inej had wondered if she should ask for a tour, but wasn’t sure if he was up for that quite yet. She was more than willing to let him show her the farm at his own pace. Plus she’d seen all of the first floor at this point. Since he brought up the berries, though, that seemed safe enough.
He glanced out the window towards the barn. The sky was still a bright, clear blue, and their palomino mare was drowsing in the sun. “Sure. We can check the garden and the berry bushes. Then go feed Tessia.”
“Sounds good.” Inej grabbed their straw hats from the hooks by the kitchen door, as well as the empty basket that she’d found in a cabinet. Her inventory of the available items in the house had impressed her. Kaz had assured her the house was decently stocked, and he hadn’t been wrong. There were dishes, cups, and flatware, random cookware, and other sundries. The towels in the bathroom were fluffy and smelled faintly of lavender. He’d even left some chamomile shampoo here, much to her pleasure. Inej noted the stacks of firewood next to each fireplace, and in the closet where the small water heater tank was. Kaz had also explained the pump system for hot showers. They were well equipped to stay the week comfortably.
Kaz donned his hat, picked up his maple cane, and led the way to the door at the back of the house. It opened onto another stone pathway, with a fenced garden to the right. Trees shaded the yard to the left, and a field with rows of blueberry and raspberry bushes lay ahead. Everything looked wild, overgrown with years of little tending. Though Kaz had mentioned weeding at one point, and Inej knew there were work gloves in both of their sizes available.
The gate to the garden on this side was stuck, but he got it open with a muttered comment about having Morten fix it. They found some ripe tomatoes, which Inej placed in the basket. There were also a few sweet peas, not really enough to harvest, and those went directly into their mouths. They taste like summer and green sunshine. Kaz quietly pointed out where other plants had been when he was a child. He mentioned helping Jordie weed and tend to the garden, and she could hear a difference in his voice. Inej was beginning to recognize when that hint of the boy within was peeking out. She listened, watching his face, his hands. The soft, almost shy way he met her eyes when he finished.
Smiling, she told him about gathering herbs from the Ravkan countryside with her family. The Suli didn’t often own land, and didn’t spend enough time in one place in the growing months to have stationary gardens. There were often flower boxes on vagons, and small pots with medicinal plants. Mostly, they gathered what they needed from the wilderness, and traded with the towns they stopped near. As Inej related this, they left the garden, making their way to the rows of berry bushes. Inej would happily exchange stories of their childhood experiences, giving him pieces of her past as he gave his.
The blueberry bushes had seen some wildlife attention, but they were able to find some berries hidden that hadn’t been snacked upon. Kaz and she ate a few and put some into the basket. The raspberry bushes with their thorns had fared a bit better, and they were able to gather plenty. And eat some, too.
She turned from the last bush in the row to find Kaz gazing at her with an abundance of affection. Inej tilted her head, curious. He stepped close, his grin boyish and full of mischief. “Your lips are stained from the berries. I’m wondering if you’ll taste like them.”
Saints, I adore him. His lips were pink as well. “Why don’t you kiss me and find out?”
Lifting his right hand to tilt her chin up, he angled his head to get his hat under hers. The kiss started out innocent enough, but his tongue was soon intent on taste testing rather thoroughly. The warm sun, crisp breeze, and the fields around them fell away as Kaz continued to kiss her. His body molded to hers. Inej wished she’d thought to put the basket down. When he finally pulled back, she felt like her cheeks might match the stain of their lips. She asked him breathlessly, “Well?”
“I think we’ll need to test this theory again with more berries.” The satisfaction on his face as she huffed in amusement was perfect. It was divine to see him this carefree. She realized it wasn’t like they had a lot of opportunities in Ketterdam to kiss outside, without a security concern or worry about witnesses. Their date last week had been the first time Kaz had even been comfortable showing affection in public. Inej noticed he’d been a little more at ease at lunch in Lij. Whether it was because he was playing up the part of Mathijs, or because they weren’t in Ketterdam, she wasn’t entirely sure.
“Do you want to drop our harvest off in the house on the way to the barn?”
“Sure,” she replied. He led the way back towards the house. Inej admired his body in the simpler clothes as he walked in front of her, thinking about a few other things they could do outside while on vacation. There was no one nearby for miles, he’d said. Plus, she’d clocked extra blankets suitable for a picnic or laying on the ground in the closet in the bathroom. When they got to the kitchen and she could put the basket on the table, she picked up a raspberry on impulse. “Hey, Kaz?”
“Yes?” He turned from the door.
Inej placed the raspberry between her lips, leaning back on the table to offer up another taste. The way his eyes went wide and then dark delighted her to no end. His sharp inhale did as well. Kaz swiftly closed the space between them. He tossed his hat to the table, rested his cane on a chair, and wrapped his hands around her waist. She closed her eyes, then felt his teeth close on the raspberry and his lips close on hers. This time, his tasting included her mouth, her jawline, her pulsepoint, and down her neck. The zing of his eager contact had her fast forgetting the sweet tartness of raspberries. Her hands gripped into his white linen shirt, pulling him even closer. It felt like heat lightning crackled between them. Inej was contemplating unbuttoning his shirt when Kaz straightened, nearly panting.
He punctuated his next words with lighter kisses on her cheeks and forehead. “You are… entirely… too tempting… Mistress Rietveld…”
There was something in the way he said the title and name together that enchanted her. It wasn’t like he said ‘Captain Ghafa’ or ‘my Wraith’. It was closer to how he’d said ‘wife’. She could understand now, the way he’d asked her to repeat his actual surname earlier. So she whispered, “Say it again.”
She could feel him smile against her forehead. “Mistress Rietveld…” A kiss on her cheek. “My darling…” A kiss next to her ear. “Beautiful…” A kiss on her pulsepoint. She was floating in the rasp of his voice and the map of his lips on her skin. “Lovely…” A kiss on her shoulder. “Amazing…” A kiss on her collarbone. Saints. “Utterly tempting…”
A whinny sounded from outside. Kaz shook with a near silent laugh, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. Inej joined him in mirth. After a beat to recover, she merrily breathed out, “It would seem Tessia has opinions on meal times.”
“So it would, yes… We can pick this up again later, though… We have plenty of berries.”
“I like the way you think, Mister Rietveld.” The way he grinned then was dazzling.
On the way to the barn, she offered him her hand to hold. Kaz glanced down at it, and up at her face, before taking it. His fingers played with the silver band on her ring finger almost idly as they walked. The palomino mare figured out their destination quickly, and met them inside the barn. She swung her head over the stall door, watching them intently. Inej set about getting Tessia fed while Kaz gave her some ear rubs. Watching him with the horse was a study in the differences between Kaz Brekker, and the farm boy he’d once been. She was sure no one in the Barrel would believe their eyes, to see him whispering at the mare. Once Tessia was all set, they made their way, hand in hand once more, back to the house.
Taking turns washing up in the bathroom brought about an unexpected admission from Kaz. He was staring out the window to the side of the house as he quietly said, “These bushes out here… they take up the whole side of the house. They’re the camellias my mother planted. Twenty years of growth now. They’ll bloom late in the fall.”
Inej wasn’t entirely sure what to say. She tried, “Maybe we could come back then? If you’d like that?”
A glimpse of sadness flickered across his face and was gone again. “Maybe… I haven’t seen those flowers in over a decade.”
She left it alone, and brought up dinner. Inej actually convinced Kaz to sit at the table while she brought out food from the larder. Between the various items from Verner’s, and the berry cobbler, they had plenty of choices for their first meal. They lit the oil lamps to give them more light, which added to the glow of the lowering sun streaming into the kitchen. As they ate, Kaz compared the hand pies and cabbage rolls to those that could be found in Ketterdam. He cited the availability of various ingredients, how the vegetables here were fresher. She realized he’d slipped into more of his country accent again as he spoke. And noticed when he started saying ‘Da’ instead of ‘father’. Inej wondered if he didn’t need to put as much distance between himself and the memories now.
“Da was decent with cabbage rolls. And that layered vegetable dish you had Hans make. He never did get the knack for flaky dough, though. Said Ma was better at it. So usually, if we had pies like these…” Kaz gestured with the half eaten one in his hand, “Mistress Larsen brought them. Her baking has always been amazing. She’s the one who made that cobbler.”
“I’m looking forward to that. It smells delicious.” Inej offered up a trade of childhood snippets once more. “In my family’s caravan, everyone shares in various cooking tasks, but there’s definitely things people are better at. Your Da sounds like my Papa, who can burn skillet bread by blinking, but makes some of the best sauces and curries. His sister, my Aunt Jela, is the baker. I want to make you her skillet bread at some point. It’s sweet, with raisins and almonds.”
She could tell she’d piqued his interest with the little nod he gave her as he finished his hand pie. Kaz was a fan of sweets with almonds. When they cut into the berry cobbler, Inej found out his love of sweets likely had an early start with Mistress Larsen’s baking. On his first forkful, Kaz closed his eyes. On his second, a small hum of enjoyment escaped his lips. By the time they’d finished dessert, he wore a wistful smile. “Maybe we can get the recipe for that to Hans and Tilde somehow.”
Inej chuckled. “Maybe. So long as Mistress Larsen will part with it.”
They sat around the kitchen table for a while longer, digesting and chatting idly about little facets of life around Kippendorp. While there were plenty of chicken farms, there were also farms like this one, that had grown wheat and grain crops. Inej knew that the Kerch countryside was built on agriculture, but touring through it in person was impressive. A far cry from industrialized Ketterdam, or busy Zierfoort. There were similarities to the farmed lands west of Balakirev in Ravka, and the area between Weddle and Kolet in Novyi Zem. Though Kerch was far more full of waterways, from tiny creeks and streams to the broad rivers the browboats took. The island had a high water table, and frequent rains kept the crops happy.
Something Kaz said earlier came back to her, and Inej sorted through her thoughts on it as she cleared the table. Their aliases owned a house in Zierfoort, that his spiders used. She knew Roeder and Cory routinely traveled south. One reason was to keep track of Heleen Van Houden. Kaz respected Inej’s wishes when it came to the Peacock and revenge. At least in terms of not killing her. He had, however, continued to make sure that Heleen couldn’t run a brothel, and remained frustrated in every business venture she tried. The last report Kaz had given Inej detailed Heleen’s investment in a local brewery suffering because of an entire warehouse of beer souring overnight. Some chemical reaction that Wylan had engineered. In a fashion similar to how Inej harried Pekka Rollins for Kaz, he made Heleen’s life a series of never ending misfortunes. Though he’d possibly done a better job of keeping Inej apprised of his methods than she'd done with her ‘Lion Hunts’.
Was there a risk involved in having a house under these aliases in the city where Heleen currently resided? If the Peacock had ever heard the name Rietveld, would she make the connection? Kaz had probably thought this through, given his predilection for overthinking everything concerning security measures, but now Inej had started worrying at the thread.
Leaning back against the sink, Inej inquired, “Can I ask you something? About the house in Zierfoort?”
Kaz tilted his head, and gave a slight nod. “Sure.”
“You said our aliases own the house? Has Heleen ever heard the name Rietveld? Could she potentially connect the dots?”
The lines around Kaz’s eyes crinkled with something like satisfaction. “Ahhh. Well. The name on the public records is actually the Sankt Iosef’s Charity Holdings. I figured no one would associate me with a Saint, and I knew none of your knives was named for him at the time.”
For something like the fifth time today, Inej just gaped at Kaz. Mouth hanging open, brain gone blank, blinking at him as his face grew smug. This man!! Sankt Iosef was one of the lesser known Saints. Only included in a few of the more obscure texts, but known to the Suli seers as the Saint of the Dreamers. He was the watcher of the sleeping, keeper of the wanderers. She’d never named a knife for him in part because Sankt Iosef was associated with peaceful dreams. For Kaz to choose that name boggled her mind. Even if his stated reasons made sense.
When Inej regained the power of speech, she prodded, “You know… I did ask if there was anything else I should know, and you didn’t reveal that?
He spread his hands wide. “What can I say? Keeping secrets is second nature.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What else have you used the name Sankt Iosef’s Charity Holdings for?”
“Well…” There was a twitch to his lips, a glint of mischief in his expression. It was a cousin to his scheming face; she might even call it ‘sneaky face’. “I’ve used it to channel money into anti-slavery legislation twice now. I also used it to purchase Irada Markov’s indenture. The current plan is to use the charity as a front for any of the Grisha that Tij refers to me where I need a clandestine way to buy indentures.”
He never ceases to astound me. Inej shook her head. “You are a neverending font of surprises.”
“Am I?” He rose from the table.
“You are.”
Kaz offered his cane out to her. Curious, she took it from his hands. Then he scooped her up for the second time today. Startled and laughing, she attempted to hold on to his cane and not brain him with it. He headed towards the bedroom with a ridiculously happy grin.