Work Text:
Jungkook sighs and lets his head drop to his desk with a soft thud. His phone vibrates again, but he just scrunches his eyes together. Maybe that’ll help drown out the chaotic noise of the group chat. It doesn't.
Unapologetically, his phone vibrates once more.
“Jungkookie?” Taehyung’s voice filters in through the open door and makes Jungkook perk up. “Can I be honest for a second?”
Jungkook gets up from his desk, leaving his phone there, and walks over to the living room. When working from home, Jungkook definitely needs a separate office for himself. But Taehyung, ever the easygoing one between the two of them, is fine to work from wherever. When he stays the night at Jungkook’s place, he just sets up shop on the sofa in Jungkook’s living room and works from there, no further resources needed.
That’s where he sits now, legs crossed on the sofa, glasses pushed up into his hair. He looks so comfortable, with a fluffy white blanket wrapped around his shoulders, his laptop perched on a big beige pillow in his lap. There’s a stab of envy in Jungkook’s chest, one he’s admitted to Taehyung only in the cover of darkness in his bedroom. How easily Taehyung adapts to his environment. How he doesn’t need a whole list of things to be able to work, or sleep, or eat comfortably. How existing seems to come so easily to him, where Jungkook seems to struggle to put one foot in front of the other most days.
How there is something wrong with Jungkook.
In those moments, Taehyung usually pulls him close, lets him lay his head on his chest. He rubs a soothing hand down Jungkook’s spine and whispers that existence is different for everyone. There’s no right way to do it, so there can’t be a wrong one. Quod erat demonstratum.
Taehyung’s face melts into a smile dripping with fondness when he sees Jungkook in the doorway, shoulders hunched in defeat. Instantly, some of the tension from before eases, induced by his phone and the groupchat with his friends.
“I love your friends, I really do, but they’re even driving me mad with their indecisiveness.” He raises a brow. “And we both know that’s a feat. Why is organising a hangout when we’re all in Busan turning into such a huge thing?”
Jungkook throws his hands up. “Right?! Like it’s not just me, is it? They’re being so difficult!”
“They are,” Taehyung agrees. Jungkook realizes he needed the validation.
With the new year approaching, as well as Taehyung’s birthday on the 30th, Jungkook has been feeling more anxious than usual. This is his first birthday as Taehyung’s partner, so he wants to make it as special as possible. Taehyung doesn’t know it yet, but he’s booked them a staycation in one of the fancier hotels Seoul has to offer, spa treatments included. He also has a ridiculously sized Hello Kitty plushie stowed away underneath his bed that Taehyung and him had seen while window shopping last week. Taehyung had gasped so loudly, cooed for so long, Jungkook had gone back the next day to buy it immediately.
After Taehyung’s birthday and the beginning of the calendar new year, Jungkook will go home to Busan for the Lunar New Year to see his family. As it happens, Taehyung’s older brother and his family live in Busan, so Taehyung will be travelling to Busan for Seollal, too. And seeing as Jimin, Yoongi and Seokjin will be in town, too, Jungkook thought it might be nice to organise a little hangout in Busan. Maybe go to the beach, eat some good Milmyeon while they’re there. Nothing big or fancy.
But Jungkook had underestimated his friends’ inability to make plans a month in advance.
Taehyung deposits his laptop onto the coffee table, then pats the now empty pillow in invitation. In an instant, Jungkook is lying on the couch, head on the pillow, prime position for Taehyung to gently thread his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. The first time Taehyung had done it, Jungkook’s instinct had been to jerk away. Something about having his scalp touched seemed unbearably intimate, too close to be comfortable. But Taehyung had asked Jungkook to trust him, that it’ll feel really nice if he just closes his eyes and lets himself relax. And now, it is Taehyung’s Go-To-Method for calming Jungkook down.
There’s a small voice at the back of Jungkook’s head that tries to reprimand him for already relying on Taehyung too much, but he shushes it for now.
“On a scale of one to ten, where are you at stress-wise?” Taehyung asks, voice just as gentle as his fingers as they card through Jungkook’s hair.
“Maybe a 7,” Jungkook admits with tendrils of shame burning away in his chest. It shouldn’t annoy him as much as it does. He should be fine and cool and not care about the details as much as he does. He should be a-okay with there not being a concrete plan a month before the thing is supposed to happen. And usually, he’s way better at this! Way better at it not getting to him as much. But ever since he’s gotten that new therapist who makes him really dig deep and unpack all his emotional baggage, it’s become more difficult.
Jungkook’s not sure whether that counts as a success, but Taehyung tells Jungkook he’s proud of him. When he does, it feels like a success, so.
Taehyung hums. “Would it make you feel better if I take over planning?”
Jungkook frowns, unsure. Would it make him feel better? Or would the not knowing stress him out more?
“I don’t know,” he mumbles, defeated. He’s been saying that a lot recently.
Taehyung thinks for a bit, considering, and then asks, “How did you handle past holiday hangouts?”
“Usually, we’d meet the day after Seollal, before we all went back to Seoul on different days. Not for long, just to see each other in the new year for a bit.”
“Well, it is still a month away. Maybe things will figure themselves out by then, mhm?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook sighs and he feels that shame again. It’s heavy and it burns. Instinctively, Jungkook wants to roll up into the foetal position and hide away from Taehyung’s warm, inquisitive gaze. But Taehyung’s hands keep Jungkook in place, one still in his hair, the other tangled with his own hand on his chest.
“I’m being silly,” he whispers, confessing to his secret.
Taehyung squeezes his hand. “No, you’re not. You just like things a certain way. That’s okay.”
“Is it?” Jungkook asks like he’s a child again. And maybe in this moment he is.
“Yes,” Taehyung insists. “And if this organisation in the chat gets overwhelming, you’re allowed to step back. You’re even allowed to lean on me for support. Perks of being in a relationship.”
Jungkook opens his eyes, searches Taehyung’s for traces of deception. But all he sees is fondness and hint of mirth. He lets that reassurance ease some of the shame. Some of the stress.
“Thank you,” Jungkook breathes, squeezing Taehyung’s hand. Taehyung leans down to press a kiss against Jungkook’s forehead. Warmth spreads through Jungkook, from the point of contact all the way down to his toes. He likes the ease with which Taehyung shows affection. Never afraid to touch, never afraid to give a kiss, never afraid to reach out.
“Nothing to thank me for, sweetheart,” Taehyung says. “That’s what partners are for.”
Jungkook’s heart gives a two little kicks, one at the sweetheart and one at the word partner. After their first official date, Taehyung had laid his cards out on the table. He had been honest in what he’s looking for, a long-term commitment, something real and tangible. Jungkook had wanted the same. So, then and there, they’d decided to give this a proper go, but not before Taehyung insisted on referring to each other as partners. To him, boyfriends was too juvenile for what they were actually committing to. Jungkook couldn’t have agreed more.
“You’re a good partner,” Jungkook tells him because it’s true. Jungkook has had relationships before Taehyung, good ones too, but none have felt like the one he has with Taehyung. Hard to believe that not too long ago, there’d been genuine animosity between them. And maybe this was still the honeymoon phase of it all, but Jungkook could see himself falling in love with Taehyung. Easily.
“Mhm, well, you’re easy to be a good partner to.”
Jungkook snorts. “Okay, well, now you’re sucking up.”
Taehyung’s jaw drops. “I am not!”
Jungkook levels him with his signature skeptical look. “Are too.”
Taehyung throws his head back in laughter and Jungkook can’t help but giggle himself. Animosity now is coloured by their feelings for each other, unnamed as they still are. (For now.) It certainly makes the whole back-and-forth a lot more fun than before.
“I mean, you know I like to suck, but not like that,” Taehyung fires back and Jungkook goddamn cackles. Then, they’re just laughing together. Jungkook only half remembers he was trying to make himself feel bad.
“Nice one,” he says to Taehyung once he’s gathered his wits about him again.
“Thanks, I try,” Taehyung replies, shrugging a shoulder in faux nonchalance.
Taehyung’s phone pings. Presumably another group chat message. Jungkook feels some of that stress scream for his attention again. But before he can grant it that, Taehyung turns his phone’s sound off and tosses it to the other end of the couch.
When Jungkook opens his mouth to question his actions, Taehyung shushes him softly. The fingers are back in his hair.
“Just sit here with me for a moment. Relax. Then we’ll get back to the group chat. Make a plan to fit the new circumstances of this year.”
Jungkook nods, suddenly a little too choked up to speak. He closes his eyes and lets Taehyung stroke through his hair. He squeezes Taehyung's fingers.
There really is no harm in taking a moment. After all, sometimes a moment is all it takes.