Work Text:
The sound of 'Hot n' Cold' by Katy Perry was what woke Bakugou out of his much needed slumber.
He groaned, rolling over onto his back and slowly sitting up like a zombie rising out of its grave as the music finally stopped.
He rubbed his eyes with the base of his palms before yawning.
As he blinked his eyes into focus, he noticed the lump beside him covered by two blankets.
His first thought was to remove them and kiss it until-
"'Cause you're hot, then you're cold. You're yes, then you're no. You're in, then you're out-"
That ringtone wasn't his.
And now that he wasn't the slightest bit out of it, he realized this lump was far too big than it was usually.
"Oh my God-there's a stranger in my bed." he muttered, inching away to the other side of the bed.
"There's a pounding in my head."
Bakugou's eyebrows furrowed as he threw the blanket's off of the unknown monotone voiced person.
Lo and behold, underneath the blankets was Sero.
"Jesus, you knock off Soy Sauce bottle, you scared the shit out of me." Bakugou grumbled as he shoved the boy off his bed.
"That was uncalled for-wait, we didn't have sex, did we?" Sero asked while still face planted in Bakugou's carpet.
"I dunno. Walk around and see if your ass hurts."
Sero stood up and did as Bakugou said, limping on his first step.
All the blood drained out of Bakugou's face.
"Relax, it's my knee. I think I fell down the stairs when I tried to do a Tarzan move." he explained, making Bakugou sigh in relief, "God, there's glitter all over the room."
There was, indeed, pink glitter covering half of the room and the boys themselves.
Fucking Mina.
Before Bakugou could reply, soft knocks could be heard before the door was pushed open by none other than Kirishima.
"Hey, dudes? Mina's kinda...passed out in the pool and I don't know if she's dead or not." he said before yawning.
"Wow, you look like shit."
"Yeah and I smell like a mini bar. That's what shots with Denki does to you."
"What about me?"
The three boys went silent after hearing the voice. Sero walked past the bed and swung the closet door open to find Kaminari on the ground, legs falling onto the floor.
"Damn, it's bright as hell in here." he said, squinting his eyes and he sat up.
Half of his hair was flat while the other half was completely frizzed with some sparkly blue spray on hair dye on a few locks.
"What are you doing in the closet?"
"I dunno, man. One second I was fighting a dragon, next second I'm in here."
"When you say dragon, do you mean Rin?" Kirishima asked, fully entering the room, "I vaguely remember you guys arguing when Jirou passed out in the yard and considering that you were high out of your mind, I can see why you'd confuse his scales with a dragon."
"Yeah...that sounds like something I'd do. Along with the Barbies on the barbecue."
Sero rolled his eyes before helping Kaminari to his feet.
"Dude, is that a really big hickey or a nasty bruise?" Kaminari asked, moving closer to Sero's neck and pointing at a purplish-blue spot on his neck.
Sero's eyes widened before looking at Bakugou.
"Don't look at me. I wouldn't even think of kissing you if a gun was being held to my head-drunk or sober. Plus, my subconscious fears Deku way too much." the blonde replied.
Sero shrugged in agreement before starting to look around for his phone, which was on the floor beside an empty bottle of Hennessy.
"Shoto's gonna kill me..." Sero mumbled, sitting on at Bakugou's feet as he opened his phone's camera.
"Dude, relax. Even if it wasn't from him, Todoroki's more in love with you than he is with his life." Kirishima stated, folding his arms as he leaned against the door frame.
"Kirishima, my dick may be good, but it's not THAT good."
"Sure. Whatever you say, man."
"Bro, my TikTok went viral!" Kaminari exclaimed, making the other boys hold their heads in pain and wonder how he managed to get to the window so quick.
"How wasted were we?" Bakugou asked himself, scratching the back of his head.
"Too wasted-look."
Sero turned his phone around to show a news article flooding with pictures.
"'Leaked photos from UA High School's own Class 1-A and 1-B's Dorm Party-Who Knew These Young Heroes knew How to Party?'" Bakugou read before falling back into his bed and shoving a pillow in his face, "This is gonna get all of us expelled."
"Oh shit. It gets worse-the pictures are trending everywhere." Kirishima stated. He was searching the internet too as soon as he heard Bakugou read the article title out loud.
"If Shoto doesn't kill me, his dad certainly will." Sero mumbled, specifically referring to a picture of him...how do I say this?
A picture of Sero, holding an entire bottle of Balkan 176 Vodka with his arm around a very wasted looking Todoroki, who was kissing Sero's cheek while his own cheek had 'FUCK ENJI GET MONEY' written on it in bright red.
"Hey, at least we had fun...I think." Kaminari added, turning away from the window and walking towards the other boys, "Look at the year we've had verses last night. We deserved to break the rules a little and have a good time."
"And the public reception is good too. Listen to this one-'Unpopular opinion, but I'd prefer to hear about kids getting black out drunk than fighting in a war. #LetKidsBeKids'." Kirishima mentioned.
"That's great and all, but what the hell happened last night?"
.
.
.
It was Friday night, and Bakugou was pulling a shirt over his head when he came downstairs.
"Aw, look, Bakugou's out past his bedtime!" Mina exclaimed when he walked into the kitchen.
In there was her, Midoriya, Shinso, Todoroki, and Uraraka.
Bakugou gave her the finger as he leaned down to kiss Midoriya's cheek.
"Where's your idiot boyfriend?" he asked, looking in the direction of both Shinso and Todoroki.
Both of them gave him confused looks.
"Either one works." Bakugou clarified as he sat down on the counter (Iida wasn't there to lecture him).
"Last time I saw them, they were printing out bingo cards of the party challenges for tonight." Shinso replied, "Speak of the devil-"
"40 bingo cards and a trophy for the winner. No fanfare necessary." Kaminari exclaimed as he and Sero walked into the kitchen, each holding 20 cards each.
"Where'd you get a trophy made of real gold?" Todoroki asked as he was handed a bingo card.
"Um, hello? We're on the same floor as a human 3-D printer." Sero stated, rolling his eyes, "And, just in case anyone looses their bingo cards, we're sending out online versions."
Just then, the front door slammed open and 1-B's entire class flooded into the room.
"LET'S GET THIS FUCKASS STARTED!"
"There will be no fucking of the ass, Awase."
.
11:47 PM
.
Kaminari stumbled out of the kitchen, giggling like Cardi B as he searched for one of his two boyfriends.
Everyone was either drunk, high, making out while drunk AND high, or extremely scared for their lives.
As he looked through the crowd of students with half opened eyes, he saw Iida speed walking though everyone and muttering "I'm going to bed, and when I wake up, this will all be over" multiple times.
This made him giggle more as he watched the boy walk away before he finally saw Ojiro's tail sticking out amongst the crowd.
"Mashi. Mashi!" Kaminari exclaimed, giggling even more as he grabbed the boy's hand and pointed towards the front door, "Awase is stuck to the door."
"Aw, no way! Shit, where's my phone?" Ojiro mumbled, patting down his pants while he let Kaminari drag him to the door.
"Hold on-Toshi!"
Shinso turned around before his eyes caught on Ojiro and Kaminari. He was standing by the door where Awase's hand was welded to the knob.
"Where'd you get that?" Kaminari yelled. The music had gotten significantly louder.
He was gesturing to the glow in the dark dick on Shinso's neck.
"Oh yeah. They're doing face painting and I was just about to get you guys-Bakugou wrote 'FUCK ENJI GET MONEY' on Todoroki's cheek." Shinso replied before a new song started playing.
"Queen B, want no smoke with me-"
Mina could be heard screaming above everyone else's yelling as a large circle formed in the middle of the room.
"My whole team eat, chef's kiss, she's a treat-"
"OOH SHE SO BOUGIE, BOUGIE, BON APPÉTIT!"
Jirou could be seen from the DJ booth with a proud smile as she raised the volume.
Because if there was any language these kids were fluent in besides Japanese, it was Beyoncé.
"Hips tick tock when I dance-"
"ON THAT DEMON TIME, SHE MIGHT START AN ONLY FANS!"
All the previous dim lights in the dorm had been replaced with phone flashlights. Everyone minus those in the inner circle was recording, screaming along to the lyrics.
Typical high schoolers.
The inner circle was Mina (Beyoncé's daughter, of course), Hagakure, Midoriya and Kaminari somehow, Tetsutetsu, and the newly unwelded Awase.
"If you wanna see some real ass, baby here's your chance-"
Just as Mina prepared to sing the next lyrics, her eyes almost bulged out of her head.
She stopped dancing to dramatically lower her glasses because despite the fact that she clearly remembered Midoriya not knowing how to dance, she was witnessing him right now-
Knees bent.
Back arched.
Tossing ass all up on Bakugou.
"Holy shit!" she screamed, feeling lightheaded from both the shock and whatever cocktail Kaibara had made her prior, "Holy shit; are we seeing this?!"
The class was hyping him up, and the number of cellphones had increased dramatically.
Bakugou looked just as shocked for a quick second before putting on a proud smile and grabbing Midoriya's hips because hey-that's his boyfriend throwing ass on him.
Jirou, still at the DJ booth, had her mouth hung wide open as she had a perfect eagle eyed view of what was happening.
She quickly collected herself to play the next song, seeing it would be for for the occasion.
"Murda on the beat so it's not nice-"
.
2:23 AM
.
The big group of jumping teenagers had dispersed after a few more songs, leaving everyone around the room in smaller groups.
"Dude." Kirishima mumbled, stumbling over to Mina and Uraraka, "Never challenge Denki to how many vodka shots he can take. Fukidashi is throwing up his guts and I didn't even know that was possible."
"You think that's bad? Look at Kodai-she's gone."
Kirishima turned to where the couches had been pushed out of the way to see that Kodai was in fact passed out on one of them.
Being the first person to pass out, her friends had surrounded her with the glow in the dark paint.
"Shit. Why didn't we add that to the bingo?" he said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Speaking of the bingo, did anything else happen?" Uraraka asked as she pulled her phone out of her shirt to pull up her digital version.
"Uh, let's see..." Mina started, looking up to think as she started counting the events on her finger.
"Ojiro and Kouda definitely tried to woo Yanagi during the karaoke. I made Hagakure wear a neon shirt so that I could keep track of her but I haven't seen it in a while so I'm guessing she went missing. Tsuburaba is in the process of locking himself in an air box in the corner that I melted through so you can knock off two there."
Just then, Kuroiro fell out of Kirishima's pants.
"Right Kuroiro. I knew I was forgetting someone." Mina finished. She pulled a marker out from behind her ear and started writing on her arm.
"Kuroiro..."
"Dude, how long have you been in my pants?"
"Absorbs...into..."
"Are you serious? I've been going in and out all night."
"Kiri's...pants..."
So as you guys can tell, the party was going great.
At some point, Sero hijacked Jirou's booth and played a variety of Latin songs which got everyone oogling at those who knew how to whine their waists (cough-Mina Ashido).
Then Komori hijacked the booth when Sero left it unattended to prove he could do the iconic Tarzan swing but instead tangled himself and was left to dangle from the ceiling by his foot.
She then played her K-Pop mix-resulting in an epic dance off between Momo and Bakugou to Super Shy and dare I say Bakugou ate her up.
Despite what Kuroiro said about Honenuki being too obsessed with him to drunkenly confess to Todoroki, the two managed to break up a whooping total of 21 times (3 times between 7 of Komori's songs) until Jirou got control of the stereo again and played Party in the U.S.A. which seemed to bring them back together.
Asui, who managed to be one of the very few people to only stay slightly tipsy throughout the night, didn't find flies but she did mistakenly eat the products of Tetsutetsu and Sato's bake off.
Her stomach did not thank her the next morning.
Uraraka got her hands on the kitchen's weed and started floating and releasing herself over and over, giggling every time she fell back on the couch before doing it again.
Weed will do crazy things to you.
Speaking of the kitchen, Kaibara, Monama, Aoyama, Shinso, Rin, Shouji, and Kendo used the couches to trap themselves into the kitchen and turn it into their own personal hotbox along with Kaibara's personal collection of vapes.
Monama and Aoyama mostly focused on making out on the counter, but the others were having the most intellectual yet absolutely fucking stupid conversation in the history of speech.
"Dude, like..." Kaibara started in a weird, American surfer dude type accent. His eyes were as red as the fire that broke out in the living room while he blew some smoke through his nose, "Bakugou is, like...so Raph coded. Like-"
"Facts." Kendo mumbled before passing her tray of weed infused brownies to Shouji after she stuffed her mouth with those and Mountain Dew.
Yeah, she was the munchies type.
...Oh, the fire?
Nobody could tell you if it was the bake off or Todoroki getting flustered while watching Sero twerk with Mina that caused it, but it was a fire.
And it was burning.
The hotbox team looked two seconds away from grabbing marshmellows until the sprinklers went off, to which Kaminari got up on the nearest table and started scream singing-
"IT'S RAINING MEN!"
Ojiro and Shinso didn't know if they were embarrassed, disappointed, or aroused.
Shiozaki was surprisingly quick to join in, followed by Tokage (who was missing an arm, but we'll find it later) and Bondo.
And then the table collapsed.
But they kept singing regardless and everyone joined in, collectively letting the water wash away the sweat and put out the fire.
Jirou was too busy laughing her ass off to bother playing the song, so the living room again was fillied with jumping teenagers screaming lyrics in surprisingly fluent English that would impress Present Mic.
And it did, because he stood in the doorway with Aizawa and Vlad King watching the kids get hyped to the sound of their own weak voices.
Aizawa had to give it to them-they somehow managed to surprise him with how much they can disappoint him.
"I think I stepped in rainbow vomit-why are the couches lined against the kitchen?" Present Mic asked worriedly, "Is that Kaminari krumping?"
"I really do care about them and hope for their safety...but do we get paid enough for this?" Vlad King mentioned. He had an umbrella open as the sprinklers were very much still activated.
"We should do something."
"Yeah; leave."
"You of all people think we should leave? Aren't you the same one always chasing after Bakugou and Midoriya?"
"Their stupid shit is dangerous. This is just chaotic and illegal. Not much we can do about chaotic and illegal."
Before Present Mic or Vlad King could argue back, Shoji and Kamikiri ran out from God knows where at this point and launched themselves in the air, screaming-
"STAGE DIVE!"
"Yeah, we should go." Present Mic muttered while the three teachers hurried out of the door because they did not want to stick around to see whichever poor souls were about to get crushed, scratched, or stabbed.
.
Present Day
.
Bakugou, Sero, Kirishima, and Kaminari slowly walked downstairs and winced at the bright Sun's wrath.
They finally made it to the bottom floor, where it looked like a disaster.
Along with the few students who never made it to their room, there were alcohol bottles broken and unbroken all over the floor.
Mysterious stains here and there, severe damage to the structural integrity of the dorm (holes in the walls and floor), shredded couches, a random villain, discarded food, Koda's pets running free-
Wait a minute.
Kaminari froze, slowly turning his head while he watched the wanted murderer he heard about on the news three days ago stand up and groan.
"...Where am I-"
He screamed and punched the man in the face, alerting the others and sending him flying back down to the floor.
"Who even is that?" Kirishima whispered, leaning over the couch to get a good look, "How did he get in here?"
Before he could get an answer, the door slammed open. Lo and behold, Mina walked through and slammed it back shut.
Her clothes stuck to her body and her shoes made that dreaded squeak noise that you get when you put your shoes on after going to the beach.
She stomped all the way to the elavator, practically punching the button to her floor before annoucing that-
"We are never having a party ever again."
Before stepping into the lift and wringing out her shirt.
Unbeknowist to her, the two classes would go on to have three more parties before graduation, all more chaotic than the last.
And for the record to anyone who actually cared about the bingo, Iida won.
He was not pleased.