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7.7 Wishing you to come back.
He hung a piece of paper on the bamboo tree full of wishes, and hoped for an impossible miracle.
The strong wind came and made the colorful strip of papers flutter, as if it would bring those wishes to the sky.
Even if he knew that they wouldn’t, he couldn’t help but hope.
7
He was half asleep when he felt something heavy on top of him. Between dream and reality, the sight of a tanned skin guy lying on top of him was blurry like an illusion.
“…Kaeya.” The name slipped out of his mouth, but it sounded more like a prayer than calling a name.
Almost like a plea.
“Shh…” The illusion pressed a finger against his lips, telling him not to be loud. The playful expression looked so familiar that he thought this was real.
“Kaeya.” He reached out a hand, slowly and apprehensively, afraid that he might disappear from the slightest touch.
The imaginary Kaeya tilted his head and laid his cheek on his palm. It was soft, yet hot it might as well burn his hand. However, he didn’t pull away his hand. Even if it were to burn him to the bone and not leave a single ash, he would never do that.
But, in fact, Kaeya wasn’t that hot. He was quite soft and warm.
It was warm as if he was real.
“Won’t you say something?” The sky-blue eye looking at him sparkled like there were stars in it.
“…Have you come back?” His voice was so hoarse that he couldn't even remember how it was supposed to sound.
Kaeya flashed him a big smile, “I’m back.”
Diluc sat up abruptly and held the person in front of him, ever so tightly that Kaeya almost got buried in his embrace.
Kaeya laughed, and it made his whole world come to life again.
“Wow,” Kaeya exclaimed as he looked around excitedly. The extensive area, high buildings and pathways looked very modern. The students all around them were wearing fine clothing from head to toe, you could tell that they were very expensive at a glance, as university for millionaires should be.
While he was excited, Diluc pulled his hand and held it since he was so careless that he almost bumped into someone walking by. Kaeya giggled, but didn't pull away his hand from him.
“Are you studying administration?” He raised his eyebrows as they reached the building Diluc was heading to.
“…Yes.” A brief answer, with no further explanation than that. Kaeya smiled. Diluc was always like this, not talking too much. He hadn’t asked a single question up until now ever since he showed up. Only flame-red eyes that kept glancing at him every three seconds.
As if he might disappear suddenly the next moment!
They held hands and walked into the lecture hall. He decided to sit in the back row, which was unusual for him, causing his classmates to look at him with wonder.
Kaeya looked down at the pile of books placed on the desk in front of him. His blue eye betrayed his grief. He knew that the reason Diluc had put them there wasn’t because he’d lacked any space to put them or wanted him to read them. But it was likely because he didn’t want anyone to sit there.
Perhaps, he had already known that except for himself, no one else was able to see him or hear his voice.
This was why he didn’t talk as much or loudly back when they were on their way from the dormitory to this hall.
Such an observant man. Kaeya rested his chin on his hand. His eye formed a curve from his proud smile.
“What?” Diluc frowned, getting goosebumps.
And so nonchalant. He poked a finger on Diluc’s cheek with endearment.
Diluc started to get embarrassed and it made Kaeya chuckle. But before he had a chance for revenge, his lecturer suddenly came in.
Immediately, Diluc paid his attention to the class, but not before using his left hand to grasp his fingers.
It was as if Kaeya could hear his own heart pounding, which shouldn't be possible. Gentleness, nostalgia and melancholy poured out of his eye.
“Stop staring already,” Diluc muttered, losing his focus on the lecture.
“No.” Kaeya smiled, scratching the palm of the man who held his hand. He wanted to tease, to keep his eyes on him, and to be the center of his attention.
In fact, Diluc had intended to skip the class. But it was Kaeya who told him to not do that.
He wanted to know how his routine went, what he was doing now, how his society was, and whether he had made any new friends.
Diluc when he wasn’t around.
…Did he have a lover?
…Did he forget about him already?
“Kaeya.” The soft tone now intensified a little bit.
Kaeya stopped teasing, but he couldn’t take his eye off of that serious look on the person next to him.
The person whom he missed.
And the one who missed him so badly he made a wish upon the star.
6
Diluc continued with his daily life as usual. Though he felt like he was in a dream where the end was unknown. Kaeya didn’t tell him anything and he didn't have enough courage to ask him, either.
Despite feeling content, he was afraid.
He brushed the strands of hair from the sleeping man next to him and tucked them behind his ear. This Kaeya’s face looked more mature than it was in his memory. It felt like time had never stopped. Diluc slowly shifted closer to him, feeling the steady breathing next to his ears. The warmth that radiated was evident, and a familiar scent of lily could be discerned from the tip of his nose.
The person in his embrace was far too real to just be a dream.
But there was no way.
5
“Yummy!” Kaeya blurted out loud in amazement after swallowing down a piece of steak. The well-done steak was flawless, topped with a rich sauce and salad on the side. The taste and appearance were not any different from the ones at the restaurants.
“Since when did you learn to cook?” No one could have imagined that a wealthy man like Diluc cooked, and he did so well at that. Kaeya’s eye sparkled with excitement.
“I don't know.”
Even if the answer didn’t sound like an answer, Kaeya couldn't care less. He was vibing with his steak and red wine.
After the delicious meal, Kaeya rolled his body over the huge sofa in the middle of the living room. He had started to feel heavy on his eye when the red-headed man came in, pushing him aside and sitting down next to him.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Diluc asked.
Kaeya nodded quickly and went straight to the shelf full of blu-ray boxes arranged on it. Some of them were still sealed.
Kaeya was surprised. As far as he knew, Diluc wasn’t so much of a movie collector. Moreover, he didn’t like watching dramas or movies at all. All of a sudden, he stumbled upon a familiar title.
“What!? Part seven already. It’s not finished, yet?” He took out the box from the shelf. It was a movie that they used to watch together ever since they were younger. And he liked it so much that he compelled Diluc to watch it with him so many times.
Kaeya smiled when he thought back to that moment.
“How does the story go now? Which part did I last watch?” He shoved him barrages of questions, and Diluc just shrugged as a response.
“You don’t wanna spoil? Or you just didn’t know?”
“I don’t know.”
He gazed at Diluc, then turned towards the boxes that were sealed.
“…Were you waiting to watch them with me?” His voice was quiet, more like talking to himself than asking the other.
Because he knew that very well.
“…” Diluc looked away.
Kaeya put on a smile, though his eye looked sorrowful. “You should’ve watched them, or else how would you tell me all about it when we meet again?”
4
“Do you want to hang out somewhere?” Diluc asked him in the morning.
“Don’t you have a class?” Kaeya frowned.
He didn't like lying so he refused to give a response. Kaeya chuckled, since he already knew that, though he had no intention of stopping him at all from skipping class.
“I wanna go to… anywhere as long as Diluc’s there.” The sweet answer came with a foxy smile. Diluc knew it was just a tease, and yet his heart still skipped a beat.
“What about the beach? We haven’t been there in a long time.”
“Yeah, that place.” Kaeya grinned.
3
The sea, amidst the rainy season that was unpredictable. Though there had been a forecast that the weather would be clear, the rain came down anyway. Kaeya burst out laughing, delighted to see Diluc soaking wet from head to toe.
He resembled something like a drowned puppy.
“You’re just as wet.” Diluc gritted his teeth, pretending to be angry even though his heart swelled upon seeing the dark-skinned man laugh so hard his eye became a thin line.
They picked a nearby hotel to cover from the rain. A small room, not so luxurious. A cabinet, a table and a bed were the only things there.
Kaeya forced Diluc to take a shower first, reasoning since he definitely wouldn’t get sick. Diluc was left speechless, both mad and sad with the excuse.
Kaeya got out of the bathroom when Diluc was drying his hair with a towel. The redness very much resembled a dancing flame. Despite the burning heat, it would still look warm and nostalgic.
“Let me help you.” Kaeya’s eyes shined, and he jumped out in front of Diluc with a towel in hand.
“Dry your hair first.” Diluc had scolded, but Kaeya just ignored him and used the towel to rub his hair gleefully.
In the end, Diluc had to pat Kaeya’s hair dry instead.
Kaeya giggled, looking exhilarated. His fingers combed through Diluc’s almost-dry hair that was so fluffy like a blazing flame.
In the next moment, he was already under Diluc’s embrace, and the room went silent.
Diluc traced his fingers across Kaeya’s right eyelid—that once used to open. His touch felt like burning.
Kaeya pulled his hand from his face and used it to cup his cheek instead. Diluc barely touched him first from day one. His palm trembled slightly so that he couldn’t feel it.
Diluc was afraid of touching him, afraid that he might disappear like an illusion, shattered like his countless dreams.
“…Kaeya.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper.
“Yes…” Kaeya closed his eye as the hand shifted from his face to his lips.
“Kaeya.” His voice sounded like a plea.
“I’m here.”
“Please, don’t go.”
Kaeya smiled. He hated how the person before him could foresee it accurately.
“I won’t.” Not today, at least.
“Liar.” Diluc accused, before pressing his lips on the other’s.
The kiss was tender, as if it could melt and merge into the soul.
…I didn’t lie, I just haven’t told the rest.
2
He didn’t understand why, but he felt nervous every time he looked at the person sleeping next to him. Kaeya ate the meal he made, drank when he needed to, and slept at bed time. It was so normal that it made him perplexed.
He noticed that other people couldn’t see or hear Kaeya except for him. He had known that since they went to the university, not a single person had greeted Kaeya even though he was conspicuous. And not only once did he almost get bumped into by others, and yet he had no reaction at all.
It wasn’t that hard to guess.
In fact, he had known that this was abnormal since the moment he woke up.
But he didn’t want to know the truth; he didn’t want to accept it. He was still keen on fooling himself, even if he couldn’t possibly know how much longer he could keep doing that.
He refused to guess or question.
It could be tomorrow, or the next second.
He couldn’t sleep well for the past few days, overly thinking about it. What would happen if he woke up and didn’t see him? And when the thought appeared in his mind, he would always jolt awake with a start.
Thankfully, a nightmare was still just a nightmare.
“…Are you still awake?” Kaeya asked with a muffled voice, rubbing his eye.
“I’m not sleepy.” Diluc inched closer and kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep if you’re tired.”
“And who do you think did this?” he muttered and Diluc chuckled from the cuteness.
“Or were you not tired? We could’ve kept going.”
“Shut up!” Kaeya gritted his teeth, tweaking his waist extremely. Diluc let out a painful sound but was still able to laugh.
He was glad because it wouldn’t hurt him if this was a dream.
Kaeya made eye contact, with a gaze full of pity for him. Diluc kissed his eyelid. He didn’t want to see it or acknowledge it.
He wished that he could prolong the time, so that it would never end.
“Stupid Diluc.”
“…”
“You should move on from me.”
Upon hearing that, Diluc clenched his jaw tightly, and flipped his body over the dark-skinned man.
“NO.” The fire of anger was all over his red eyes.
“Please, just forget me.” Kaeya gave him a sad smile. He adored him so much and felt sorry for this poor man before him.
Just forget him.
Stop loving him already.
“You’re always mean like this.” He could feel nothing but rage. It felt like Diluc was the only one who went insane. Did he know that the living will always suffer more than the one who was gone?
No matter how much he yearned, he could never bring him back.
“Yeah, I am. So why do you keep loving me—” His next sentence was swallowed down the throat as Diluc pressed a sudden kiss on his lips.
Unlike the tender kiss before, Diluc was biting instead of kissing him affectionately.
The kiss was aggressive and full of anger. But he didn’t go further as Diluc decided to use another way to relieve his stress.
He abruptly went out of the room, opening a bottle of low-quality wine and drinking it all at once.
Kaeya followed suit and sat beside him, taking the glass of wine Diluc had poured for him. The taste was so terrible that he had to put it down.
“What do you want me to do?” Diluc asked with a plain tone.
“…You don’t have to do anything,” Kaeya said with a soft voice.
“Telling me to move on, can Kaeya do the same?”
“That’s…! Not the same,” Kaeya muttered, his audacity dissipated slightly as he got stared down from above.
“How come it’s not? Everything you can’t bear to do, I can't either.”
“And how is it the same when you still have tomorrow?!”
“…”
“…” Kaeya bit his lip—bruised from the kiss. He knew his words had hurt both him and Diluc, but it was too late.
“…How much time do I have left?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, how much time do we have left?”
The question both of them had tried to avoid the entire time, was finally asked by Diluc, who seemed to have cooled down. Kaeya immediately glanced away. But when he turned to look back at him, he didn’t expect to see those peaceful red eyes.
“One day… one more day.”
“Then I shouldn’t waste time fighting with you.” Diluc lifted him up on top of the table after finishing his sentence, immediately followed with a kiss. Diluc was not gentle at all. Both of his arms were locked above his head, while his body bounced on the table. Luckily, his clothes were thick enough so his back wasn’t sore.
Despite all of this, Kaeya was still infatuated with every touch Diluc had been giving him. He didn't even remember how they ended up continuing on the bed after that.
“Please, just take half of mine.”
“Huh?” Kaeya, who nearly passed out from exhaustion, was visibly confused by the sudden words.
“My time.”
Kaeya tried to take a look at the person hugging him from behind. But Diluc held him so tightly, and wouldn’t let him turn his head.
“So we should be gone together. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”
1
Kaeya didn’t have a chance to sleep that night. Whenever he was about to fall asleep, Diluc would start a conversation, like he wouldn’t let any time go to waste even for a second.
‘How did you manage to come back?’
‘Huh? That’s because you missed me, wasn’t it?’
‘Am I the only one who missed you?’ And he just got teased afterward…
He got out of bed with a weary look no different than a ghost, and didn't understand why the other guy who was equally sleepless could be this lively.
“Let’s get married.”
“HUH?” Kaeya didn’t remember how many times he had him surprised already.
“Let’s get married,” he said it again, clearly, and with no sign of annoyance.
Wasn’t this sound like just stating more than asking?
Kaeya nodded, after a few seconds. It couldn’t be denied how happy he felt about it, even if both the proposal and mood hadn’t been romantic at all.
Diluc would marry him.
We would marry each other.
It was a day filled with warm sunshine, the sound of ocean waves and a gentle breeze. It was peaceful as if time had stopped for a while.
There was no one inside the abandoned church. The roofs were riddled by a storm, letting the sunlight shine on the altar through the holes. Ivy vines climbed up from the ruined columns to the beams, hanging down like curtains. It made the place look like a dreamland where you couldn't tell if it was an illusion or reality.
With no priest to perform the ceremony, no guest, or even a witness, they stood by each other in front of the altar. Just the two of them, with shimmers surrounding them like a blessing from god.
But Diluc knew it too well. His only blessing was to see this person standing right in front of him.
Despite the fact that they never defined their position, Kaeya seemed pleased covering his head with a white lace-fabric that he had pulled off of the hotel’s curtains, as if it was a bridal veil.
His blue-sky eye looked much more glittering at night even when it was covered with fabric.
Diluc’s heart was beating fast like a drum. He held Kaeya’s left hand in his trembling hand. He slipped a plain silver ring on his left ring-finger slowly.
The silver color was a contrast with his dark skin and it literally looked gorgeous, then the memories that they shared together suddenly appeared in Diluc’s head.
It might be god’s prank or just a derision of the stars that had gifted him these precious moments.
Kaeya looked down at the ring on his finger and smiled widely. The ring looked so ordinary, as expected from Diluc. It was quite tight. This ring was probably not meant for the him ‘now’ but for him from four years ago. Shame he never prepared a ring for Diluc, not in the past or in the present.
So he just gave Diluc a kiss on his left ring finger as an engagement.
Diluc’s eyes widened, his reaction was so adorable that he couldn’t contain his laughter. He thought Diluc might remember it, that one time when they were dating, Kaeya used to do this too.
‘You’re engaged.’
But who could have guessed that he would never come back to be with the one who was engaged.
.
.
Diluc hugged him, then they shared a kiss.
I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.
The ring was cold, but the heart—which should have stopped beating, was warm.
“Please, don’t go.” He couldn’t remember how many times Diluc had said this to him.
“Don’t be so greedy. You should know that even the princess could meet the herdsman for only one night.”
He had no idea why the stars had given him time until seven days, and definitely had no clue if this was meant for him or the wisher.
“But the princess could meet the herdsman every year.”
“Literally greedy.” Kaeya couldn’t help but laugh.
“Can we run away, to a place where the stars won’t find us?”
“Stupid Diluc,” Kaeya said gently. The clock hand almost reached the twelve, and he softly kissed Diluc as a farewell.
“Be happy for me.”
“No.”
Kaeya gave him a big smile for one last time. “I will be waiting for you.”
As the star appeared in the sky, so did the dream come to an end. The sound of ring falling to the ground was quiet like whispers of farewell, but was still clearly heard.
It echoed in his ears, and in his chest. The sound dragged him brutally out of the dream. His heart hurt as if it had been pierced by countless needles.
Diluc reached out his hands just like in his dream. No matter how much he begged, the person in his embrace was still nowhere to be found, not even leaving any warmth as if these past seven days were just a dream.
It had ended already.
Blessings from the stars were gone, too.
But, maybe… the curse would remain on him for the rest of his life.
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