Chapter Text
James potter feels so good. He feels way too good. His mind is buzzing with energy and his head feels light and fuzzy. He's floating so high it feels like he'll never come down.
His phone buzzes. It's regulus. He picks up the phone. "Reggie..." he slurs. " James baby, what's up"? "The sky" James cracks. Regulus frowns on the other end of the phone. There's something up with James. " jamie babe...you good"?
"Never been better"!!! His voice booms in the empty flat.
"OK well, gotta go. Call me if you need anything" something feels off. He has to go home.
James puts down the phone. It feels like there's a weight in his stomach. Doesn't reg love him anymore? But James is way to manic to give a shit. He could bleed all of the blood out of his body and still feel great. He could tear himself to shreds and still fell great.
His thighs itch, willing to be cut open. He feels indestructible. He runs to the bathroom.
Chapter 2: A bloody mistake
Summary:
James self harms. He calls remus and sirius to come to help. Trigger warning!
Chapter Text
James locks the bathroom door. He shuffles open the drawers in cabinet throwing things astray carelessly. Eventually he finds what he's looking for. A razor. His chest heaves.
How could he even be thinking of this? He's been clean for so long. Regulus had been so proud. He picks up the phone. He needs help.
"James"? Remus is sitting on the couch with Sirius's head in his lap. "James mate, are you ok"? There's a silence at the end of the line. "Shit. James I'm coming. Don't do anything stupid."
On the other end of the line James wants to scream. Because how could he not do anything stupid when that's all his mind tells him to do? He shuffles his pants down and presses the razor to his thigh. He presses it harder and feels the familiar sting. He looks down at the blood and smiles. He does it again. And again. And again. Till there's 7 gaping wounds poring blood. He watches it trickle to the bathroom floor.
"Remus what did James say"? Sirius asked. "It's what he didn't say." "Shit". They both grabbed their jackets and ran to the car.