Chapter Text
Michael grinned as he walked through Jeremy’s bedroom door "Finally, some peace and quiet! I swear, I’ve been waiting for this all day." he dropped on the bed, grabbing the controller from the desk "We’re gonna crush this tonight, right?"
Jeremy looked at him with a disheartened look on his face "I’m not in the mood"
"Why? What happened?"
Jeremy sighed, looking down. "I don’t know… just thinking about everything. It’s been a rough week," he admitted as he slumped onto the bed, running a hand through his hair. "I just feel like nothing’s really working out, you know?"
Michael hesitated "Hey, I’m here for you, man," he said, placing a hand on Jeremy’s back.
Jeremy leaned into the gesture but still seemed distant. "I appreciate it. it’s just… I don’t know why I keep letting myself care about the stuff that messes me up." He sighed, frustration visible on his face. "It’s like I can’t get over it. Over her."
Michael felt his eyes involuntarily roll as he realized the conversation was all about Christine again. "Dude, it’s been months" he said, exasperated.
Jeremy pulled away slightly, looking defensive. "I know, okay? But I can’t help it! It’s not that easy to just forget someone. Especially when she was… the one." He threw his hands up in frustration. "Why does it feel like I’m the only one who cares about this stuff?"
Michael’s irritation bubbled to the surface. "Why does it feel like I’m the only one who cares about… just… being friends? And… playing video games?" He struggled to articulate his feelings, his voice rising. "Every time we talk, she’s all you talk about! And I’m sick of it!"
Jeremy stared at him, stunned. "Whoa, I didn’t realize it was that bad for you," he said, his tone softening. Looking down, he seemed almost ashamed. "I didn’t mean to make it all about her, I just don’t know how to stop thinking about her. It’s like my brain won’t let me." He sighed again. "But I guess I’ve been ignoring you. And that’s not cool."
Michael was still upset but couldn’t fully understand why. "It’s not like that" he said, shaking his head. "It’s just… you’re like my best friend, and… I don’t know…”
"I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t know it bothered you so much." Jeremy gave him a tap on the shoulder.
Michael chuckled softly. "It’s okay, I’m… sorry for getting so worked up about it, I should've been more supportive.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it”
“Wanna tell me about her?" Michael asked, forcing a smile, though a strange twitch tugged at his stomach.
Jeremy paused, looking at Michael. "I mean, it’s just, I thought maybe we could’ve had something, but… I guess it’s not like that." He sighed, his frustration apparent. "I just feel like I missed my chance, and now she’s gone off… I dunno, with other people, and I’m just here, still hung up on it." He rubbed his face in exasperation. "But, yeah… that’s it. Nothing special, really." He shrugged slightly.
Michael looked at him, curiosity and hesitation mixed in his expression. "Can I ask something? But it’s kinda stupid," he ventured.
Jeremy glanced at him, curious. "Yeah, man, shoot. Nothing’s too stupid."
Michael took a deep breath. "How do you, like… know you like her?"
Jeremy paused, considering the question. "I dunno, it’s just like, when I see her, my heart races. I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s just… it feels different, you know?"
Michael looked at Jeremy, feeling a faint warmth in his cheeks. "Yeah, that makes sense" he murmured.
Jeremy gave a shy smile "Yeah? I guess it’s hard to explain, but… when you feel it, you just know."
Michael paused halfway to his locker, his heart sinking.
Jeremy was talking to Christine, or more accurately, she was talking to him.
His fists clenched without him even realizing it, he tried to act normal as he crossed the hallway, but his gaze kept drifting back to them.
Jeremy noticed Michael and waved with a grin. "Yo! man!" he called, leaving Christine with a parting smile as he approached. His enthusiasm was palpable as he began, "Hey, guess what? I was thinking about what you said, and decided to just casually bring up the play coming up. Christine immediately started talking about it and I think we actually talked? And she even invited me to join it with her! Isn’t that amazing?"
Michael forced a smile. "That's awesome, man," he said, though the words felt heavy.
"Can you believe it?" Jeremy continued, his voice buzzing with excitement. "I mean... it’s not like it means anything, but even if we're just friends, it’d be cool, right?"
Michael gritted his teeth and tried to sound enthusiastic. "Yeah, totally” he glanced at Christine "So, uh, are you still up for that video game marathon later?”
Jeremy nodded, glancing at the clock. "Yeah... see you later. I'm late for class," he said before hurrying off.
Michael nodded again, watching him go. His heart pounded. The image of Jeremy and Christine together lingered in his mind, unsettling him in a way he didn’t fully understand. Shaking his head, he went to his own class, trying to dismiss the thoughts, but they kept creeping back.
That evening, when Jeremy arrived at Michael’s place, Michael’s heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t help but smile as Jeremy gave him a quick bro hug.
Trying to sound casual, Michael asked, "So, how’d it go with Christine after class?"
Jeremy’s face lit up. "It was amazing! I think we, like, really connected! I think I might even have a... a real shot, y'know?"
Michael forced another grin, though his stomach twisted. "That’s... that’s awesome, man." The words felt hollow as they left his mouth. He wanted to be happy for Jeremy, but the thought of him growing closer to Christine made him feel... off.
Jeremy’s expression shifted slightly. "Are you okay, dude? You look like you’ve got something on your mind."
Michael quickly shook his head. "Nah, nah, I’m good. Just... you know, just thinking about school and stuff," he lied, forcing a smile. "I guess I’m just not used to you being all... social and stuff" He laughed awkwardly.
Jeremy smiled reassuringly. "Hey, you're still my best friend. I'm not ditching you or anything. But like, this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance! She actually talks to me, Michael! And look at the bright side- you won't have to hear my whinging anymore."
Michael forced a chuckle. "Yeah, that’s one way to look at it. Just... don’t forget about me when you’re all 'in love' and stuff"
Jeremy laughed, brushing off the comment. "Don’t get carried away. She doesn’t even like me like that. She probably thinks I’m ugly or something" he said, his tone lighthearted.
Michael laughed nervously. "Nah, man, you’re not ugly. You’re... you’re fine”.
Days passed in a blur, and Michael's feelings grew stronger. He found himself withdrawing more and more, staying silent as Jeremy and Christine became closer. Every glance, every laugh between them gnawed at him. He watched from the sidelines, trying to bury his emotions, but it was impossible. The tension built up inside him, and he couldn’t escape it.
"I can't... I can't just tell him... it’ll ruin everything" he murmured to himself.
But it felt like the walls were closing in on him. He was trapped between wanting to protect his friendship with Jeremy and the burning desire to confess how he felt.
but how can he even begin to explain it? How can he tell his best friend, the one person he trusted the most, that he’s in love with him?
Jeremy sat on the couch, his eyes glued to the screen. "C’mon, Michael! We’re SO CLOSE!!"
Michael sighed, his gaze drifting toward Jeremy. "I'm trying, alright? It’s just... this stupid game is rigged."
Jeremy was completely absorbed in the game, oblivious to the storm inside Michael’s chest.
Michael wanted to say something, but the words felt too heavy.
"Damn it!" Jeremy sighed. "we were so close this time! What's up with you? It's like you don’t even try."
Michael’s throat went dry, and he fought to hold back the tears. "I AM trying!" His voice cracked, frustration bubbling over. "You have NO IDEA how hard I try!"
Jeremy blinked, confused. "It... it’s just a game, dude."
Michael stood up abruptly, pacing. "It’s not just the game, Jeremy! It’s... everything!"
His voice trembled as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "Do you know how hard it is to... to watch you? To be around you and pretend like everything’s fine when it's not?" His hands were clenched into fists at his sides.
Jeremy stared at him, wide-eyed, completely thrown off by the sudden outburst. Michael’s voice softened as the weight of his feelings cracked through.
"I’m trying so hard to be your friend, to be happy for you... but I can’t." The room felt unbearably silent, and Michael stopped pacing. Finally, he turned to Jeremy, tears welling in his eyes. "Because I… I care about you so much!”
Jeremy struggled to find the right words, his mind racing as he tried to make sense of it all "Me too, man... you're my best friend. I... I care about you a lot. I just... I don't understand where all of this is coming from."
Michael's frustration boiled over. He crossed his arms and turned away, his voice tense. "Forget it! I knew you wouldn't understand."
Jeremy's brow furrowed in confusion. "Is this about... do you like Christine? Dude, are you... jealous of me?"
Michael's shoulders stiffened, and he clenched his fists.
"No, Jeremy..." Michael's voice trembled "It’s not Christine. It was never about her."
His back still turned, he fought to summon the courage to continue.
Finally, Michael turned around completely, his eyes filled with frustration and vulnerability. "It’s you, okay? I’m jealous of her”
The confession hung in the air, raw and unfiltered. Jeremy stared at him, his heart pounding.
The silence stretched on. Michael’s voice broke as he whispered, "I know it’s messed up. I don’t expect you to feel the same. But I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t kill me every time you talk about her."
Michael looked down, unable to meet Jeremy’s eyes. He fought back more tears, his chest rising and falling with the effort to stay calm.
Jeremy was still in shock. "Michael... I didn’t mean...I… I didn’t know it was like that."
Michael couldn’t look at him. "Well, now you know."
Jeremy stood up, hesitated for a moment, then pulled Michael into a hug, a real, warm, meaningful hug. "Man, I’m so sorry. I didn’t... How long have you known?"
Michael leaned into the hug, his voice muffled. "I don’t know, a while. I tried to ignore it, thought it would just, go away. But it didn’t."
Jeremy pulled back slightly, his hands still on Michael’s shoulders. "You should’ve told me, man. I mean, I get why you didn’t, but... you’ve been carrying this alone?"
Michael wiped his face quickly. "Yeah. I wanted to be happy for you, I really did, but..."
Jeremy softened. "Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I’m just... sorry I didn’t notice sooner."
Michael let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly make it easy to notice."
The two sat back down, the air felt thick with emotions.
Michael glanced at him. "Thanks for not... freaking out or whatever."
Jeremy grinned awkwardly. "Hey, it’s me. I’m not exactly the poster child for 'normal' y’know?"
They shared a small laugh, the tension breaking just a little.
Chapter Text
After that evening, things slowly returned to normal. Jeremy didn’t seem bothered by Michael’s confession.
Michael, on the other hand, felt like admitting his feelings to Jeremy only made them grow stronger. Every thought seemed to revolve around Jeremy.
One day, after gym class, when Jeremy took off his shirt, Michael’s heart skipped. He couldn’t help but notice the sweat trickling down Jeremy’s back. Michael quickly looked away, hoping Jeremy wouldn’t notice, but found himself sneaking another glance at his shirtless friend.
Michael struggled to focus, trying to tie his shoes rather than focus on the way Jeremy’s muscles tensed as he stretched.
"Hey, Michael!" Jeremy called, pulling his shirt back on. "You good? You’ve been quiet."
Michael nodded quickly, not trusting himself to speak without stammering
Jeremy slid his bag over his shoulder. “Let’s grab something to eat on the way home."
Michael forced a grin, his heart still pounding.
‘Get it together, man’, he thought.
‘He’s just your friend.
Your- super attractive, totally off-limits- friend’
"So, what do you wanna eat?" Jeremy asked.
Michael cleared his throat, whispering under his breath "Ahm-you."
Jeremy blinked, confused. "What?"
Michael’s face turned bright red. "Uh, I mean... you choose!"
Jeremy raised an eyebrow but laughed it off. "Alright, weirdo. Let’s hit up that burger place."
Michael nodded quickly, avoiding eye contact. ‘I’m such an idiot’, he thought, feeling his stomach flip.
They ate their food silently for a while.
"So what's up with Christine? You haven't brought her up in a while," Michael asked, trying to sound casual.
Jeremy shrugged, chewing on a fry. "Not much to say. We're still friends, I guess. But I don’t think she's into me like that."
Michael tried to hide his relief. "Oh. Sorry, man. That sucks."
Jeremy waved it off. "It's whatever. Honestly, I think I was just obsessed with the idea of her, y'know? Like... she’s great, but maybe not ‘the one’ or whatever."
Michael’s heart skipped a beat.
He watched Jeremy eat, getting mayonnaise all over his fingers. His ears felt like they were burning, and he placed his bag on his lap.
"Eat, man. I don’t have all day," Jeremy said, noticing Michael had stopped eating.
Michael snapped out of his thoughts and grabbed his hamburger quickly. "Yeah, yeah, I’m eating," he muttered, trying to focus on his food instead of the way Jeremy was licking mayonnaise off his fingers without a care in the world.
Jeremy chuckled. "You’re acting weird again. What’s with the bag? You hiding something in there?"
Michael froze "No! It’s nothing," he blurted, holding the bag tighter.
After a while, Jeremy got up, waiting for Michael to do the same. But Michael stayed seated, holding his bag protectively on his lap.
"C'mon, man. Why are you sitting like that?" Jeremy asked, his brow furrowing.
Michael didn’t move, the embarrassment mounting in his chest, making everything feel worse.
Jeremy tilted his head "Dude, you’re acting super weird. You’ve been weird all day." He leaned down a little, trying to peek under the table.
Michael instinctively pulled the bag closer to his lap. "Can you just drop it, Jeremy?!"
Jeremy backed off, hands raised in mock surrender. "Alright, alright! Chill. Geez."
Michael stared at the ground, his face burning. "Sorry," he mumbled.
Jeremy sat back down, confused but not wanting to press further. "Okay, let’s just... wait here a bit, I guess," he said, taking out his phone to scroll mindlessly.
Michael exhaled, trying to calm his racing thoughts.
"No, no. you go ahead. I'll... walk by myself today," Michael said, his voice shaky.
Jeremy looked at him for a moment, "Are you sure? I don’t mind walking with you."
Michael forced a small smile. "Nah, it’s cool. I need some space, y’know? I’ll catch up later."
Jeremy hesitated but shrugged. "Alright, if you say so." He stood up, grabbing his stuff. "See ya, man."
Michael watched him leave, his heart heavy. He stayed seated for a moment longer, then got up slowly. and walked home
‘It’s all good. You’re fine. Totally fine. Nothing wrong with... getting hard for your straight best friend.’ he tried calming himself down.
“Agh! This is so wrong” he muttered, placing his hands on his face in frustration.
His mind raced as he walked. Images of Jeremy kept replaying in his head. The attraction was undeniable, but the guilt followed close behind. ‘This isn’t right. why can’t I just... stop feeling like this?’
The frustration of it all was suffocating. He had never wanted this, never asked for it. His mind screamed that he should ignore it, shove it down, but that only made it worse. ‘It’s just a phase’ he tried to convince himself. ‘It’ll go away eventually.’
But it didn’t feel like a phase.
That night, as he lay on his pillow, his mind began to wander. Before he could control it, he pictured Jeremy shirtless. He tried to shake the thought away, but it kept creeping back. Shirtless Jeremy. Then pantsless Jeremy.
He started picturing them together, kissing, touching.
His heart pounded as his body reacted to the fantasies, but guilt swirled in his chest. ‘This isn’t supposed to happen,’ he thought desperately. ’I can’t feel like this. Not about him.’
But the more he tried to push the thoughts away, the more vivid they became.
The shame gnawed at him, as his body betrayed him. "Stop, stop," he begged, but it didn’t work. The images of Jeremy kept resurfacing. It felt wrong, But all he could do was lay there, caught in a whirlwind of desire and self-loathing, knowing he couldn’t turn back.
He barely woke up the next morning, feeling sick to his stomach, and decided to skip school. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. At 8:30 am, his phone buzzed with a text from Jeremy: "Where are you?"
Michael stared at the message, his heart racing. He didn’t want to lie to Jeremy, but he wasn’t ready to face him. He typed back, his fingers trembling:
"Not feeling well. Staying home today."
He stared at the screen, waiting for a reply, but his mind kept drifting back to last night. The thoughts of Jeremy flooded his mind again, the confusion and the guilt mixing with the desire. It wasn’t just a crush anymore; it was something deeper, more complicated.
The phone buzzed in his hand, cutting off his train of thought. Jeremy replied: "That sucks. Hope you feel better. Let me know if you need anything."
Michael sat awkwardly at the edge of Jeremy’s bed, wondering if he could hear his heartbeat.
He tried to focus on the game controller in his hands, but his thoughts kept drifting away.
Jeremy glanced over at him with a grin. "You okay, man? You’re really quiet."
Michael quickly shook his head, forcing a smile. "Yeah, yeah, I’m good."
As they continued playing, Michael smashed the buttons a bit too aggressively, glancing at Jeremy.
Jeremy paused the game. "Seriously, dude. What's wrong?"
Michael looked at the controller in his hands, suddenly aware of how tightly he was gripping it. "Nothing, just... I don't know. Just tired, I guess."
Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "Tired? You’ve barely said a word since we started. You’re not usually like this."
Michael fumbled with his words, feeling his face getting warm. "I’m fine, really. Just... thinking about stuff."
Jeremy wasn’t convinced. "Like what?"
Michael hesitated, unsure how to explain the whirlwind of thoughts in his head. "It’s nothing, man. Just... stuff from before. With... y’know, everything going on."
Jeremy sat up, his tone serious. "If something’s bugging you, you know you can talk to me, right?"
Michael nodded quickly, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Yeah, I know. I just don’t want to make things weird, that’s all."
Jeremy smiled "It won’t be weird, dude. Whatever it is, we can figure it out."
Michael felt a small knot in his chest loosen. "Thanks," he muttered.
"So? What is it?" Jeremy pressed.
Michael took a deep breath "I... I don't know how to say it," he admitted, his voice cracking.
"Hey, if something’s bothering you, just say it. I wanna help.”
Michael nodded, feeling the weight of his feelings pull him deeper into confusion. "Yeah. I just... need to figure it out."
The silence between them felt heavy now, both unsure of where to go from here.
Jeremy sighed, "You're kinda confusing me honestly."
"I just... I’m not sure if you can take it," Michae replied.
Jeremy stared at him for a moment. "What happened, man? You talk like you killed my parents. You barely even looked at me since you got here."
Michael’s hands trembled as he glanced over at Jeremy, his throat dry "Look, Jeremy..." Michael started, his voice quieter than usual. "I don’t just… like you, okay? I’ve... been feeling something else…” he looked at Jeremy, hoping he’d understand, but Jeremy Just stared at him, waiting for him to explain
“Like, physically."
Jeremy froze for a second, then sat up straighter "Physically? What do you mean?"
Michael’s face turned red. He rubbed the back of his neck "You know what I mean”
Jeremy blinked, mouth slightly open.
Michael finally met Jeremy’s gaze. "I know it isn’t mutual, I just... you wanted to know what’s bugging me so..."
Jeremy let out a deep breath, leaning back against the wall. "Shit, Michael" He paused. "I knew you had feelings, but I didn’t realize it was... like this."
Michael nodded, swallowing hard. "I didn’t either, until it hit me." he let out a small, awkward laugh.
Jeremy looked at him for a long moment, his expression softening. “I get it” He rubbed his forehead, thinking for a second. "I’m still your friend, Michael. Nothing changes that. But I’m not gonna lie, it’s kind of a lot to take in."
Michael nodded quickly, feeling both relieved and embarrassed. "Yeah, I understand. I didn’t want to make things weird”
Jeremy gave him a small, reassuring smile. "You didn’t make it weird, man. This is just... unexpected. But we’ll figure it out"
"Thanks, man. I’m honestly low-key impressed you didn’t... like, freak out or anything," Michael let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
Jeremy chuckled awkwardly.
There was a long pause before Jeremy spoke again. "Look, you’re my best friend, I’m not just gonna drop you because you’re going through something. But this... this changes things a little. I just need time to figure it out"
Michael's heart sank a little, but he managed a small smile. "Yeah, I get it. Time. Cool."
Chapter Text
Jeremy paced back and forth in his room, talking to Christine. "how am I supposed to look at him, knowing he... wants to, you know... sleep with me or whatever?"
Christine replied, "Attraction isn’t always about sex."
Jeremy shook his head. "It’s different for guys. Guys think about this stuff all the time..."
Christine sighed, leaning back in her chair. "Jeremy, you’re overthinking this. Michael’s your best friend. Do you really think he’s gonna jump you or something?"
Jeremy stopped pacing and ran a hand through his hair. "No, it’s not like that. I just... I can’t stop thinking about it now. Every time he looks at me, I’m wondering if he’s... y’know, picturing me naked or something."
Christine tilted her head. "So what if he is? You’re not uncomfortable around him, are you?"
Jeremy hesitated. "I don’t know! It’s weird. Like, I don’t want him to feel bad, but I also can’t pretend it’s not in my head now. He’s been my best friend forever. This changes stuff, right?"
Christine gave him a knowing smile. "Only if you let it. Look, I think Michael’s going through a lot right now. Maybe he just needs you to be patient and not freak out."
Jeremy plopped onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Easy for you to say. You’re not the one he thinks about when he’s… like… jerking off or something."
Christine laughed softly. "Trust me, it’s not as big of a deal as you’re making it. He’s still Michael. And honestly? It sounds like you need to figure out why this is bugging you so much."
Jeremy frowned, her words sinking deeper than he wanted to admit."You're telling me, if one of your friends pictured you like that, it wouldn't change the way you look at them?"
Christine paused for a moment before responding. "Well, no. Maybe for a while, but it wouldn't be the ONLY thing I thought about when I looked at them. It would just be there in the back of my mind. It's been a few weeks since he told you, and you're still talking about it every day."
Jeremy sat up, frowning. "I don’t talk about it every day."
Christine raised an eyebrow. "You literally brought it up yesterday. And the day before that."
Jeremy groaned, flopping back onto the bed. "Okay, fine. But it’s just... I don’t know how to act normal around him. Like, how do I pretend I don’t know what’s going on in his head when he looks at me?"
Christine crossed her arms. "Because he’s still your friend, Jeremy. He’s not acting weird or doing anything inappropriate, right? He told you because he trusts you. Maybe try trusting him back."
Jeremy stared at the ceiling, her words cutting through his anxiety. "Yeah, I guess. It’s just... a lot."
Christine softened. "I get that. But maybe the reason you’re so stuck on this is because it’s making you question stuff. Like, how you feel about Michael."
Jeremy froze, his stomach twisting. "What? No It doesn’t! That’s not it."
Christine smirked knowingly. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that."
"Pfff. Question stuff. Yeah, right." Jeremy muttered to himself, brushing his teeth and pacing around the bathroom. "What does she know?" He glanced at his reflection in the mirror. "She just doesn't get it. She's a girl. It's different for them."
he spat into the sink and went to his room climbing into the bed and staring up at the ceiling. "He's probably, like... picturing me... going down on him or something." The image flashed in his mind, vivid and uncomfortable. "Ew" he muttered, shaking the thought away.
But then another image crept in.
As he thought about what Michael might imagine, his organs reacted, and a wave of panic washed over him.
Jeremy sat up abruptly, his face burning as he hugged his knees to his chest. "No, no, no," he muttered under his breath, trying to will his thoughts away.
He squeezed his eyes shut, but the mental images wouldn’t stop. Michael’s face, his hair, his body. Jeremy groaned, pulling the blanket over his head.
"This is just because Christine said that stuff," he told himself. "It’s like... some reverse psychology thing. It doesn’t mean anything."
The next morning Jeremy felt anxious and fragile. He spotted Michael near his locker "Hi Michael"
Michael looked up and grinned. "Hey! You good?"
Jeremy nodded too quickly, his voice tight. "Yeah. Totally fine. You ready for, uh... gym class?"
Michael gave him a puzzled look. "Gym’s tomorrow."
Jeremy’s face turned red. "Right. Of course. Sorry, I’m just... distracted, I guess."
Michael chuckled, shutting his locker. "You’re acting kinda off. You sure everything’s cool?"
"Yeah! Cool as ever," Jeremy said, his voice rising unnaturally. "Let’s just... head to class or whatever."
Michael narrowed his eyes slightly but followed along. "Alright, but you’re acting weird, dude."
Jeremy winced internally, knowing Michael wasn’t wrong.
Jeremy sat there in class, acutely aware of Michael's thigh brushing against his under the table. Every muscle in his body was so tense, that he feared he'd cramp up. His gaze drifted to Michael's hands resting on the desk. Michael noticed, and in an instant pulled his hands back, his face flushing a deep red.
Jeremy quickly looked away, pretending to focus on the board, but his heart was pounding.
The tension was suffocating. Jeremy shifted slightly, his leg moving away from Michael’s.
Michael noticed the movement and felt a pang in his chest. He looked down, pretending to be engrossed in his notebook.
Jeremy took a deep breath, forcing himself to break the silence. "Hey, uh... do you have an extra pen? Mine’s dead."
Michael blinked and nodded, fumbling to grab one from his bag. "Yeah, here." Their hands brushed as he passed it over, and both of them froze for half a second before quickly pulling away.
"Thanks," Jeremy muttered, not meeting Michael’s eyes.
"No problem," Michael said quietly, his voice a little unsteady.
The last bell rang, and they each gathered their things. The silence between them felt tense and awkward. They walked to the school gates.
"Uhm... remember we... uh, said we'd watch a movie tonight?" Jeremy said.
Michael hesitated, adjusting the strap of his bag. "Oh, yeah. Still up for it?"
Jeremy nodded quickly, avoiding eye contact. "Yeah, totally. Your place or mine?"
"Yours is fine," Michael replied, trying to sound casual.
"Cool, uh... I'll text you when I'm home," Jeremy said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Okay," Michael said, forcing a small smile.
They stood there for a moment, the air heavy with unspoken tension, before Jeremy gave an awkward wave and walked off.
Michael watched him go, his heart sinking. ‘Why does everything feel so weird now?’
Michael took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
"Hi!" Jeremy opened it with a smile. "Get in."
They went straight to his room, and Jeremy shut the door, taking a shaky breath before turning to Michael.
"What movie are we watching? Like... a classic or a new one?"
Michael shrugged, fidgeting with his hoodie string. "Uh, I don’t know. What do you feel like?"
Jeremy flopped onto his bed, grabbing the remote. "I guess we could go with something funny. Break the tension, y'know?"
Michael raised an eyebrow, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "What tension?"
Jeremy froze for a split second before laughing nervously. "You know, school stress and stuff. Nothing serious."
"Right..." Michael murmured, not convinced.
Jeremy scrolled through the options on the TV. "How about Superbad? Always good for a laugh."
Michael smiled faintly. "Sure. That works."
As the movie started, they both tried to focus, but the tension Michael claimed didn’t exist lingered in the air.
Michael looked down at Jeremy's hands resting on his knees, then at his face, before his gaze shifted to the screen. Jeremy felt Michael's gaze, but deliberately avoided eye contact, focusing on the screen instead.
Michael shifted, placing his hands beside him on the bed. Jeremy felt the shift, the unspoken signal. Tentatively, he mirrored the movement, letting their hands brush, just a little. His heart raced, pounding so loudly he was sure Michael could hear it.
Michael stiffened for a moment when he felt Jeremy's hand graze his. He glanced at Jeremy, who was pretending to focus on the movie but looked as tense as he felt.
Jeremy swallowed hard, his eyes fixed on the screen, trying to focus on anything but the tension building between them. His breath became shallow and rapid. The anxiety was rising, threatening to overtake him.
Michael noticed, his voice tinged with concern. "Man, are you okay? You look pale."
The panic hit harder. Jeremy pulled his hands to his chest, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "Hi, Jeremy, what... what is it?" Michael paused the movie, his attention entirely on him now. He reached out, gently cupping Jeremy's face.
Jeremy blinked, finally meeting Michael's gaze.
"Relax, dude," Michael said softly, his voice calm but urgent. "Inhale for four, exhale for eight."
They breathed together for a moment, Michael's hands still resting on Jeremy's face, his eyes never leaving his. Jeremy could feel the warmth of his touch, and slowly, the tightness in his chest began to loosen, though his heart still raced.
Jeremy’s breathing began to steady as he followed Michael’s rhythm.
“Thanks,” Jeremy whispered, his voice shaky.
Michael let go of his face, suddenly aware of how close they were. “You scared me, man”
Jeremy looked down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I just… felt weird. Like, too much all at once.”
Michael tilted his head. “Is this about… me?”
Jeremy’s eyes widened slightly, and he nodded hesitantly. “Kinda, yeah. I’m just... confused.”
Michael sighed, unsure how to respond. He wanted to comfort Jeremy, but his heart was racing for an entirely different reason. “It’s okay to be confused,” he said softly. “I’m here for you.”
Jeremy gave him a small, grateful smile, his chest rising and falling more steadily now. “Thanks, Michael. Really.”
The room fell into a tense, charged silence.
Jeremy dropped on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
"My mind is a mess" he broke the silence.
"Wanna tell me?" Michael replied, lying on his back beside him.
Jeremy took a long pause. "Yeah"
Michael looked at him, turning on his side.
"I don't even know where to begin. It's all too tangled"
Michael nodded, slowly looking away, he thought Jeremy would continue, but he got up and leaned against the wall, pressing 'play' and hugging his knees.
Michael rose as well.
Neither of them watched the movie, both lost in their thoughts.
Michael’s fingers tapped nervously on the bed. His heart raced every time Jeremy shifted or moved, and the feeling in his stomach kept growing. He wanted to be close, but he didn’t know how to bridge the gap without making things more awkward.
Finally, Jeremy let out a long sigh, breaking the silence. “I’m sorry,” he muttered
Michael turned toward him, unsure of what he was apologizing for “Why?”
Jeremy bit his lip, looking away. “I don’t know. I just... feel like I’m messing everything up between us.”
Michael didn’t answer right away the words caught in his throat.
“It’s okay. We’re okay.”
Jeremy nodded back, but the unease didn’t disappear.
"I don't think we are" he answered after a while, looking at his knees. "Everything has changed since you told me" He glanced at him "And.. I think… maybe, I've changed too".
Michael looked at Jeremy with sadness in his eyes "I'm sorry I ruined everything"
“you didn't” he sighed, a pensive look on his face “Things change, but.. that's a good thing sometimes"
Michael took a deep breath, processing, looking in Jeremy’s eyes silently.
Jeremy slowly reached for his hand, holding it tight.
For a long moment, neither of them moved.
Jeremy's heart raced in his chest as he looked into Michael's eyes, searching for any sign that this moment was okay.
Michael was still, his breath shaky as he looked down at their intertwined hands. that small action felt like everything had shifted in a single breath. It was a quiet acknowledgment of something neither of them had been able to fully process before.
Jeremy exhaled, a soft laugh escaping his lips. "This is crazy," he murmured. His thumb brushed against Michael's hand, sending another wave of warmth through him. "But in a good way, right?"
Michael chuckled softly, the tension that had been building over the past few weeks finally breaking. "Yeah. In a good way."
They sat there for a moment, hands still tangled together, not saying anything but feeling it all.
Michael took a deep breath, looking at Jeremy. The longing he held for so long felt like a scream in his mind.
Jeremy could feel Michael's heartbeat through his hand.
He knew he wanted to erase the space between them.
He looked at Michael one last time before leaning in for a soft, but tense kiss.
Jeremy’s leap of faith took Michael by surprise. His hand landed on Jeremy's back, and Jeremy grabbed his sides.
Everything stood still.
They pulled away, breathing heavily, shock in their eyes. Michael was the first one to smile, then Jeremy let out an anxious laugh.
Michael's smile grew wider as he caught his breath, the warmth from the kiss still lingering on his lips.
He ran his hand through his hair, still trying to process the rush of emotions. "Wow," he breathed out, looking at Jeremy with a mix of disbelief and joy "I... I wasn’t sure if you, you know, wanted that." Michael's voice was low, but there was a vulnerable edge to it. His eyes flickered up to meet Jeremy’s, searching for any sign of hesitation or regret.
Jeremy shook his head, laughing nervously "I wanted it. I really wanted it." He reached up, gently brushing his thumb against Michael's cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin.
Michael's heart skipped a beat at the tenderness in Jeremy’s touch. He let out a soft sigh, his nerves slowly fading away.
They sat there for a moment, just looking at each other. The tension that had been building between them seemed to vanish, replaced by something lighter, something new.
Michael’s hand slid to the back of Jeremy’s neck, gently pulling him back in. This time, their kiss was slower, more deliberate, and neither pulled away.
When they finally broke apart again, they were both grinning like idiots. It felt so simple, so natural, and yet it was the most intense thing either of them had ever experienced.
"You sure about this?" Michael asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Jeremy nodded, his hand resting on Michael's chest. "Yeah. I’m sure."
They kissed again, this time more passionately.
Jeremy pushed Michael down onto the bed. And hesitantly grabbed the bottom of his shirt. He looked at Michael for a moment, waiting for his reaction.
Michael smiled and nodded with excitement, his heart racing in his chest. Jeremy took off his shirt and lay to kiss Michael again.
The kiss deepened as they both felt the electric pull between them grow stronger. Michael’s hands instinctively found Jeremy’s back, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath his fingers. The weight of the moment was overwhelming, yet it felt like everything was falling into place.
Jeremy’s kisses began traveling down his neck, and his hands moved lower, hesitating for a brief second before Michael's gaze met his, a look of silent encouragement in his eyes.
Jeremy moved with caution, his touch was gentle, almost reverent, as if he was memorizing every inch of Michael’s skin.
The room seemed to fade away as they moved together, the space between them shrinking until nothing existed except for the two of them. All that mattered was right now, and the way they were discovering each other, slowly, carefully.
It was more than just the physical connection, it was a promise, one they would figure out together.