Chapter Text
It wasn’t that he was actually trying to drown, he just felt heavy and it seemed easier to let his weight pull him forward than to hold himself up in the far too small tub of Blitzø’s far too small apartment. Blitzø, he sighed as the bathroom door clicked shut. He was such a good man, willing to give up his life for that of his daughter, of his best friends. And for what? Stolas’ mistakes? Stolas’ failures? That simply wouldn’t have done. Now here he was, alone in the bathroom, about to sleep on his once lover, fuckbuddy … victim-of-manipulation’s couch. Just another person Stolas had used and hurt with this… everything.
He shivered as the water began to chill causing his feathers to stick up as goosebumps appeared on his skin. He reached out with a hand toward the towel that Blitzø had left for him expecting his magic to take hold and float it over to him only for nothing to happen. The towel stayed still in its folded place and his hand shook slightly as he stared at it.
Right.
No magic.
He gripped the edge of the tub tightly and pushed himself to standing, feeling like hardly a man inside this frail body anymore. He shook as he dried himself just until he wasn't dripping any longer, he’d have hated to drip all over the apartment, then pulled the sweater that Loona left for him over his head before taking the towel to his head feathers once more, ruffling his feathers and leaving it there. His arms felt like lead as they dropped to his sides, and his feet like cinder blocks had been attached to them. Any energy he had left was gone now, he felt as though he could sleep for a year, or an eternity, yes that would be nice. Silent warm sleep for the rest of time.
He swung the door open and felt something pull him forward, Blitzø stood from the couch and reached for his hands. Blitzø’s hands were warm and soft. Stolas stared at them. He knew these hands, or… he used to. Would he hold them again? Would this be the last time? Blitzø pulled on him softly, helping him settle down on the couch that would be his bed, for tonight at least. At least he wasn’t ousting Blitzø from his own bed, he simply couldn't bear that. Couldn’t imagine leaching anymore off this man whom he loved so deeply. Already he’d invaded his home, his bath, his daughters clothes and what could he offer in return?
Blitzø pulled a soft throw blanket up from the other side of the couch to rest it on Stolas’ chest.
“Thank you Blitz.” He murmured with the last bit of strength he had.
“Thank you Stolas… For saving my life.”
Right… at least he had done that. That was enough for today. He could feel the heavy fog of sleep coming to take him away, his eyes shifted away, feeling heavy just like the rest of his body.
“Always.”
Then it was dark and the ever sinking feeling in his gut finally eased as he fell into sleep's warm easy hold.
He woke to harsh light shining in his eyes and tried to roll away from it only to be met with a cushioned but firm barrier. He cracked an eye open to see purple stripes.
Where…?
His whole body ached , and not the pleasant after-sex ache when your legs feel like jello. No this was deeper, in his bones, and it hurt, like a thousand tiny needles trying to leave his bones but being met with the resistance of his muscles and skin, not quite strong enough to break through but persistent nonetheless.
He groaned, as quietly as he could, as he shifted, not wanting to wake Blitzø and Loona from their respective rooms only to find the man himself fast asleep on a bean bag chair just across the small room.
Why in Lucifer’s Hell did he sleep on that? Was he trying to keep me company? This man…
He glanced around the room, taking it in for the first time in the early light of day. It was small, he’d noticed it the night before but now he could really see it. There were only 3 doors. The front door where all the photos were. (The ones with Blitzø’s face scribbled out in each one which was far too familiar a feeling to analyze this early in the morning.) The bathroom door he had come from last night, and another door that was clearly the door to Loona’s bedroom based on the stickers and warning signs.
Blitzø didn't have a door. He didn't have a room, which meant he didn't have a bed which meant that the only saving grace Stolas had felt from invading their home was gone. He had stolen Blitzø’s bed. Relegated him to sleep on a beanbag in the corner of his own living room.
He’s such a good dad that he gave his daughter the only room. Meanwhile I can't even be bothered to think about mine before I leave her behind.
He couldn't stand looking at it anymore, he stood quickly, too quickly if the way his head spun was any indication and ran to the bathroom. He slammed the door shut behind him far louder than he intended and winced as he knelt next to the toilet to empty the contents of his stomach.
“Stolas?” A voice called from the other side of the door, still thick with sleep but laced with worry.
“I–I’m sorry – I’m–” He gasped before another round of vomiting took hold of him.
“Stolas, are you okay? Can I come in?” Blitzø asked.
He took a shaky breath, “No- I-I'm f-fine” but it was too quiet, the doorknob was rattling.
“I’m coming in”
The door opened slowly, probably to avoid hitting him, and Blitzø entered, still dressed in a white t-shirt and sweatpants. He glanced around the room before his eyes landed on Stolas who ducked his head away in some sort of lame attempt to hide.
“Stols…” His voice was so soft, so gentle that any hope Stolas had of keeping in the tears shattered at the sound of it.
It started as a single sob which slipped into many more until they were wracking his body violently. He felt Blitzø kneel beside him, close the lid to the toilet and pull his too long body into his own. He wrapped strong arms around the thin bird and ran a hand over his head feathers. He said nothing, just held him as he cried until his sobs quieted into soft hiccups.
“Come on Pretty Bird, let’s get off this floor, my knees aren’t what they used to be,” he laughed lightly, “I know your natural position is on your knees but tile ain't the place for it.”
Stolas wanted to laugh, but the best he could muster up was a slight smile as he allowed Blitzø to pull him to standing.
“Coffee or Tea?” Blitzø asked as he sat Stolas back down on the couch.
“I’m fine.”
“I didn’t ask if you were fine Stols. I asked if you’d rather coffee or tea in the morning?”
Stolas blinked at him, swallowed and nodded.
“Tea. I prefer tea…”
Blitzø chuckled and shook his head as he walked toward the kitchen, “figures, rich royals would like tea.”
He saw a flicker of something pass across Blitzø’s face after the comment but he couldn't quite place what it was before it was gone again and that natural confidence he so often wore had replaced it.
Stolas followed him with his eyes, watching the ease with which he moved about in the kitchen. He filled the electric kettle that rested on the counter with water from the sink then set it to boil. It lit up with a bright red glow as it worked and Blitzø moved to the cabinet to grab two mugs. The first was bright red with a drawn horse on the side, and the words, “Giddy-Up Bitches” written in cursive along the top. The other was a soft grey color and more rounded in shape, it was lined along the base with pitch black stars.
Blitzø popped a tea bag into each cup before looking back at Stolas, “Cream and sugar?”
“Yes, please, yes to both… Thank you.”
The kettle clicked and he watched as Blitzø poured the water over the tea bags then left them too steep while he went to fetch the milk and sugar.
He scooped two large spoons of sugar into both mugs then followed it with a splash of milk into the grey mug then picked them both up and walked back over the couch.
“Sugar and milk cause I didn’t have cream but I can get some when I go back to hell-mart-”
“Milk is just fine Blitz,” he responded as he took the offered mug.
Blitzø sat down beside him and the room fell into quiet aside from the noises from the street below.
“I do apologize,” Stolas said softly.
Blitzø gave him a puzzled look, the same he’d given him at the trial, a slight tilt in his head and eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly.
“Fer what?”
“I put you out, I will make alternate arrangements for tonight, you needn’t be without your bed, I’ve already invaded your home, your space, Loona’s space I–”
Blitzø shook his head firmly, holding up a hand to cut him off.
“Stolas. You’re not invading, you were invited . And I slept just fine on the beanbag birdbrain. I could sleep on a rock and sleep just fine.”
“No, I at least insist you take the couch back, I can make myself a bed on the floor beside it.”
Blitzø sighed, “Listen, I get what you’re trying to do or how you’re feeling but I don’t think you quite understand the realities of sleeping on the floor, especially after you’ve only slept on a Prince Bird sized bed before. Let me give you the couch Stolas. It makes… Just take the damn couch… please.”
Stolas sighed, he knew a losing battle when he heard one.
“I need to… I…”
His eyes widened as he looked up at Blitzø again, “I need to see Via.”
“Yeah, you do, but I’m just not sure–”
Stolas stood up quickly, he moved to the kitchen and set down the half empty mug in the sink then glanced around.
He raised his hands up in front of him, touching them together before sliding them apart through the air but no portal appeared before him. His beak fell open as he inhaled sharply.
“I can’t– do anything… I can’t even get to her…”
“We can get a- a- taxi or a sinsber?” Blitzø offered, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a clean set of his work outfit.
The door to Loona’s room creaked open and the hellhound stood in the doorway rubbing at her face with a groan.
“You’re going to see Via like that?” was the first remark she made and Stolas looked down at himself. The sweater had slid off one of his shoulders and it was wrinkled from sleep.
“R-right…”
“Come ‘er I’ve got a top that’ll probably fit you.”
Blitzø knew that he could have portaled them right to the palace but he also knew that he needed time to think of some sort of plan, some sort of something. Plus he wasn't sure he wanted to be using the crystal for anything that wasn't strictly business right now.
While Loona gave Stolas something to wear, Blitzø set about ordering their ride. He grabbed a few weapons from the stash under the couch before his phone pinged to alert him their ride had arrived.
“Stolas? Sinsber is waiting outside.”
The door to Loona’s room opened slowly and Stolas strode out, he wore a deep red turtleneck with a chest cut out that was just a hair tighter than he would have liked and a few of his chest feathers poked out of it as well as a pair of leggings that he cuffed to end before his talons began. He’d done his best to smooth out his head feathers but he couldn't hide the dark circles under his eyes.
“Do I… look alright?” He asked when Blitzø did nothing but stare at him.
“I– You–”
Loona scoffed from behind him, “What he means to say is yeah, you look hot.”
He glanced down at himself, hot was not what he felt right now. Though he supposed it was better than how he did feel, being disheveled or powerless so it was an improvement.
“Let us get going then?”
Blitzø blinked and nodded, leading the way out of the apartment.
The ride was quiet, and long apparently. He hadn’t realized just how far from Imp City the Palace was by car.
He glanced over at Blitzø who was scrolling through his emails.
Blitzø had made this drive each full moon and hadn't even complained about the distance.
He fidgeted in his seat, pressing himself against the glass.
“Something wr… well that’s a stupid question but…” Blitzø sighed, “Something wrong that I can actually help with?”
Stolas offered him what he hoped was a soft smile, but really looked closer to a sad one, and shook his head.
“I worry about what she thinks, what Stella and Andrealphus have told her…”
He wrung his hands together nervously as he spoke, then slid them up to rub at his arms, careful not to let himself pull at any of the feathers on his forearms.
“Bunch a bullshit and you’ll tell her the truth.”
“If she will even speak to me. If I can even enter the grounds any longer.”
Blitzø sighed and reached hand across the cab to Stolas gently taking his delicate talon and interlacing their fingers.
“Whatever happens, I will be there with you. Via is a smart kid, she’s not going to listen to the garbage that those icy pricks spew.”
“She will… Stella… has a way of making you believe her words even when you know… how she is. She’s very talented at cruelty and lies.”
Stolas pressed his face into the glass. He could feel Blitzø shifting, wanting to ask him something, wanting more information from him but he truly hoped he didn’t. He couldn’t handle those questions right now.
“She’ll think I abandoned her. I never came home yesterday. I didn’t even inform her I was leaving. Perhaps…”
“Nope.”
He sat up to look at Blitzø who was giving him a firm, confident look.
“Ain’t no world in which Via would be better off with that nasty cunt and her frigid fuckface of a brother.”
“Blitz… I have nothing, nothing to offer her, I can’t take care of her like this… I can’t even take care of myself. I don’t know the first thing about.. About anything and I don’t even have my powers… I’m just useless.”
Blitzø growled low in his throat and opened his mouth but didn't get the chance to respond as the sinsber stopped in front of the Palace gates.
Stolas inhaled sharply.
The entire building, normally a maroon color at this time of day, was ice blue and covered in snow.
“Shit,” he heard from beside him.
“Hey, ride’s over bitches, get out.”
He heard Blitzø murmur something along the lines of “shoulda just used the damn crystal” as he opened the door and got out of the car. Stolas followed close behind him anxiety building with each step he took toward his home.
Though he supposed it wasn’t his home anymore. Certainly not like this. Frozen over, devoid of all life and color, any and all warmth that had once been sucked out by the blue tones at every corner. Would Via be cold there?
“Come on Stols.”
Right. Yes. Stols? Hadn’t he called him that earlier too?
Blitzø led the way up the path and through the gates, which really were far easier to get through than they should have been. Not that he could do anything about it now…
Had she been in danger all this time, with him? Has it always been this easy to get onto the grounds of his home?
As they walked up toward the front steps he couldn’t help but glance around the grounds. Everything was truly dead. Each flower and bush, all his plants that he’d spent the last twenty some odd years cultivating and caring for just… frozen. Some had even crumbled under the pressure of the ice, so frail they simply snapped.
Is that what would happen to him? Would this new found self simply crumble under the pressure. Would he freeze solid and snap in two, or perhaps he would break apart into a million tiny pieces, far too many to ever mend together even if he should thaw.
The front doors slammed open and Stolas watched as Stella emerged from the Palace to sneer down at him. The gown she wore was even more exorbitant than normal, it glittered like the fabric itself had been woven with tiny ice crystals. Not even a day after his removal and she was already seating herself upon their daughters throne.
“You are not welcome here Stolas.”
“I wish to speak with Via,” he said, voice as firm as he could make it. He felt Blitzø take his hand and give it a comforting squeeze. “I want nothing else from you but to speak with her. I need to– to explain.”
Stella smirked, “I’ve already explained it to her just fine.”
Stolas’ shoulders dropped, “Please Stella, just let me speak with her… Just… just ask her if I…”
“She wants nothing to do with you!”
He squeezed his eyes shut then took a few more steps forward, stopping at the base of the stairs. His muscles ached still but he pushed through the feeling. His heart sunk and he hung his head before he spoke again, quietly, “Please, I beg you.”
She laughed victoriously, and he winced, “I do love it when you beg Stolas.”
He could hear Blitzø growling beside him but he squeezed his hand. He needed to do this, this would be the only way that they would let him see her. If he played into her hand, let her humiliate him, let her bring him lower, maybe she would relent.
“Fine. I will see if she wishes to hear from you,” She squinted and took two steps closer to him, and whispered, “Just to watch as she finally rejects you once she sees just how pathetic and worthless you truly are.”
Then she spun around and marched inside, slamming the door behind her and leaving them out in the cold.
Stolas shivered in his place but didn't dare move closer or back away.
“You. Are. Not. Pathetic. OR Worthless!” The words from beside him were firm and filled with unbridled fury as Blitzø practically shook with rage.
As he turned to look at him Stolas wished he could believe him. Wished even that he could believe that Blitzø believed them but the truth of the matter was that he was worthless. He currently served zero purpose in the hierarchy of Hell. Once upon a time, well, yesterday morning, he had. He’d been a favored prophet to The King, he’d been a teacher and reader of the stars, one of the best or so he’d been told, and most importantly he’d been a father… Today? Today he was nothing. Not anymore.
Not to even mention how pathetic he certainly was.
The doors creaked back open before he could explore that thought any further and Stolas stumbled forward faster than his legs were prepared to carry him as soon as he saw the black fringe of his daughter's cardigan. He tripped on the third step in his haste and felt a steadying hand on his back as he righted himself.
“You got this.” Blitzø whispered as he gave him a gentle nudge forward.
He looked up at her. He’d seen her only yesterday and yet somehow she looked so different. She held her head high, tilted away from him, but her eyes were glancing at him every now and again as he hesitated.
“Via… I…”
“I’m glad you’re not dead.”
He inhaled.
“What did your mother–”
She twisted her head toward him harshly and he winced.
“Mum didn't tell me anything. I watched it myself!” She took a firm step toward him and he looked down at his feet. He could feel his breathing and heartbeat picking up.
“I watched as you stood up to the sins and LIED for him, gave up yourself for him. Choose him… over me. Just like always.”
He snapped his head up to look at her, reaching out for her only for her to pull away from him.
“No, Via that’s not what–”
“Oh? You weren't planning on dying then? Didn’t lay your head on the executioner's block? Hm? Was that all some other trick? No. You were just fine to leave me here. Well fine. Here I am. And there you are. With. Him.”
“Blitz– he was going to be killed! They– the accusations weren’t–”
“But he DID use your grimoire! That IS illegal! He did break into our home and try to steal it!”
“But that isn’t–”
“She’s always been right about you… I thought… I really thought you loved me but… I guess I was wrong about that. You’ve never loved Mother and you don’t love me… You love him.”
“Via I do–”
“I believe the girl is done with your visit now Stolas.”
When the fuck had that asshole appeared? The icy bird was looming behind Octavia, his arms folded over his chest smugly as he smirked down at Stolas.
Stolas ignored the sarcastic tone from his ex-brother in law as he reached for his daughter yet again but she pulled back and this time let her Uncle step in front of her.
“Via wait let me explain–”
“You’ve said enough. Now, I believe you’re trespassing on my property Stolas.”
A sharp wave of icy magic ripped around him and he felt himself go flying back down the steps. Landing hard on his back he blinked a few times trying to catch his breath and reached a hand to the back of his head to cradle where it had hit the ground. From the corner of his eye he watched as Via slipped inside the palace and let the door slide shut behind her.
“Stolas? You okay?” he heard Blitzø shout as he ran toward him from his place still at the base of the stairs.
He scrambled to his feet and ran back toward the steps, toward her. Spikes of ice shot up from the ground all around him blocking his every path and creating a maze between him and Blitzø.
“Andrealphus please! She is my daughter!” he cried as he rounded another ice shard only to be knocked back by a large slab of ice shooting up right before him.
“STOLAS??” Blitzø sounded far away, echoey like his voice was bouncing off the ice walls.
Before he could get back to his feet all the ice spikes vanished aside from the one blocking the steps.
In the now clear courtyard Stolas could see Blitzø across the pavers sprinting toward him at full speed, and Andrealphus hovering, rising up before him only ten feet away. His feathers fanned out behind him and grew as his magic swirled all around him. Ice cold winds whipped against his feathers and tiny pieces of snow and ice pelted into him.
“I could kill you right here. You are disgraced, they wouldn’t mind too much, after all I was defending myself from the villainous traitor who tried to kidnap my sweet niece from her own home.” He held up his hand and in it formed a large icicle. He pulled his arm back and Stolas squeezed his eyes shut tightly.
Weak.
Pathetic.
Worthless.
“Back OFF FUCKFACE!!”
Stolas’ eyes slammed open as he felt Blitzø slide into place beside him, a hand rested on his shoulder, pulling him close and the other held out before them with a large black blade.
The magical ice sprayed at them in a million tiny shards a moment later and Stolas felt a thousand stings at once as they hit his skin.
“Oh yeah? Gonna kill all of Imp kind's new favorite person just a day after they made history by letting me live?” Blitzø asked as he wiped a drip of blood off his cheek and flicked it off to the side. The single drop landed in a pile of snow coloring a perfect circle bright black surrounded by stark white.
Stolas glanced up at him as he clung to the lower half of his body, the light seemed to be bouncing off all the ice and gleaming perfectly on him. His stance was strong and brave despite the clearly powerful demon before him. His Knight In Shining… leather?
Andrealphus rolled his eyes. “Fine. Get out.”
He sunk back to the pavement and the spikes of ice settled slightly as he walked toward them.
“If i see you on my property again Stol-ass, I will see to it that your 100 year banishment becomes a permanent one.”
Stolas glared, “I’m sure you’re seeing to that already, Marquis.”
Blitzø took that as his que, he pulled Stolas up and began taking careful steps backward, not taking his eyes off the peacock before him.
“Let’s get out of here feathers. We can talk to Via again without these fuckwads.”
Stolas nodded, he felt Blitzø’s hand leave his side as he rubbed at the crystal on his wrist and a portal opened up behind them. Blitzø took the first step in, not lowering the knife he had pointed at the peacock, and held out a hand for Stolas to take, helping him up and then leading him through the portal before shutting it behind them.
“No Via huh?” Loona’s voice asked from her open bedroom door.
That seemed to be the last straw, Stolas’ face crumbled and he dropped back to his knees, head falling into his waiting hands and sobbed.
“Whoops.”
Blitzø had held him as he sobbed on the floor for nearly thirty minutes before insisting that they at least move to the couch to continue the mess of feelings that did not seem to be stopping anytime soon. Not that he blamed the bird, that was rough to say the least, and not in a good way. When he thought back on the plan of action that they’d taken it was… not his best. He should not have brought Stolas over there a single day later. They should have tried to contact Via literally any other way first, warn her, explain to her, but it had been… the heat of the moment. The desperation that Stolas’ face had held. He knew that feeling. Being right on the brink of losing something, someone, that mattered more to you than anyone in the world… Yeah, he knew that feeling far too well.
“Come on birdy, we will figure this out. I promise.”
“Y-You can’t promise that Blitz! I- I wish that you could but you can't!”
Blitzø sighed, “no, you’re right. I can’t promise that it's going to be fine, or work out or get fixed right away. But I can tell you some things I do know. I know that you love that girl more than anything in the world. And I know that feeling, so I know that you’re not going to stop fighting for her just cause some prick in an elsa cosplay said so.”
“She hates me, Blitz. She thinks I left her, I DID LEAVE HER!”
Blitzø rubbed at his back, “You didn’t leave her. You came to save me. Those aren't that same thing and she… she’ll see that eventually. You just gotta give her some time. Yesterday was a lot and not just for us. She watched you almost die. She’s scared. Prove her wrong. Let her see you live .”
Stolas was quiet, too quiet, in response.
“Stols… Please say something, I need to know you heard me.”
“I heard you.”
Blitzø nodded and pulled the bird closer to his chest, letting him rest against him.
“Feel my heart in there?”
He felt Stolas nod against him slightly.
“It’s you.”
Stolas pulled back to blink up at him owlishly.
“You’re my heart Stolas. I need you to keep beating.”