Work Text:
Thanks to the government, there’s been several lost devices throughout the world. Unfortunately they’ve all landed in Toronto. This is the story of one such device.
Monday, October 13th, 1738.
Canadian Thanksgiving.
Scotland William Pilgrimage, son of Jebediah William Pilgrimage, set out in his buckled shoes into the forest by their settlement.
He was a young lad, only twenty years of age.
The light from the tree canopy speckled like the rippling waves, casting golden flecks on his skin, warming his famished soul. Who knows how this feast came to be? But the feast would go on anyways.
He had a day left to find the perfect gift to ask his betrothed, Ruthelanella Bloomage, to meet his lips with hers. Repeatedly.
However, he stumbled upon a small cylinder of metal with patterns on it. Scotland never learned to read, unfortunately, and had no idea what a radiation symbol meant, but he recognized the letter ‘R’ and assumed his betrothed must be stuck inside, so he pried it open.
All at once, the world sped by in a blur, knocking him on his face.
He was in modern day Toronto.
Monday, October 10th, 2005
Canadian Thanksgiving.
It was certainly a buzz, between the visiting Wallace, still in a full body cast, and Kim fresh out of therapy. It took a team of just about everyone to prepare the meal for that night, and they almost baked Wallace’s missing finger into a pie.
Scott was nowhere to be seen. He’s been acting strangely for a while, every year he would disappear for a day or two and reappear in the middle of the street, it’s a wonder he’s not the one who gets hit by a car constantly.
Only this year, the sun was already dipping below the horizon and he was nowhere to be seen, so everyone went out to look for him.
The ominous streetlight and echo of parties in the distance made it hard to tell what direction they were going, up, down, after a while they noticed they had been walking up the side of buildings or upside down in thin air.
Something was wrong.
At the same time, Scott was returning from his home time and coming to visit his friends, and the world around him slowed to a halt, a strange halt. While he had returned to modern Toronto, he didn’t change appearance like he usually would, still in his stupid pointy shoes and freak pilgrim clothes. Trees were uprooting themselves and walking away, the grass was loudly whispering to itself and he heard the voices of all his friends calling out to him.
The closest voices were Envy, and her wife, but they sounded so far above!
“Did you get raptured!?”
There was a long moment of clacking as Envy ran towards him.
“We found the missing one!”
But something was wrong, she had a very large sledgehammer.
In mere moments Scott was out like a light.
It took everyone else a while to gather back up, and Scott managed to get down the street by then, but while Kim was walking by, Roxie dropped an anvil on him.
You see, when Scott returned to the modern time, he’s been traveling between two of the same day. Always Canadian thanksgiving, and hasn’t been spending enough time in his OWN time, and too much in the modern time.
So combined with the magic of thanksgiving cheer and time travel, he meshed the two times together.
That’s why dinosaurs are back.
It wasn’t until they removed the stupid hat and realized they had beaten up their dear friend Scott that things made sense.
Scott was cheating on his fiancée Wallace with an American thanksgiving reenactor.
And it was then that Ramona couldn’t take it, she dumped Wallace out of the hospital bed and with a crunch he landed, trying to wiggle in his giant cast. Scott was placed in the hospital bed, and as soon as she was done, she pulled Kim in and they got married on the spot. Accidentally crushing Scott’s kneecap as they stood on the bed.
It collapsed on top of Wallace and killed him. Chopping off another finger.