Archive of Our Own ^beta

Nighttime, Wooyoung had come to realize, was the worst fucking time. 

With nothing to help guide him through the darkness but the occasional moonlight shining through the passing clouds, it was a little hard to get around and also try not to die at the same time. 

He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose a little higher and pulled the straps of his backpack tighter, reveling in the little bit of comfort that it brought.

It was currently the middle of summer and hot as fucking hell, but the icy fear he had coursing through his system left him shivering, and he had to bite down on his tongue to keep his teeth from the nonstop chattering. Every little sound made him jump and only left his heart pounding much too loudly in his ears until it was the only thing he could hear. 

It was definitely starting to get harder to find a relatively safe space to sleep at night and the exhaustion in his system seemed to be weighing him down with every step. He'd been lucky so far and hadn't had any major run-ins with the zombies, largely due to the fact that he had been following Seonghwa and Yeosang's advice. 

He ended up huddled up underneath the desk of an abandoned office an hour later, his back pressed tightly against the hardwood and his head pillowed on top of his backpack. 

He wasn't exactly sure what state he was in right now (he'd never really been good with reading a map or following directions, that had mostly been Seonghwa’s job during their journey), and he wasn't sure how long he'd been walking for either, but he was fairly certain he was in Arkansas— which, by the way, who the hell decided to spell a place like that and then have it be pronounced like that?— so, hopefully, it wouldn't be that much longer until he reached Alberta.

He sighed and took off his glasses to rub at his face tiredly before closing his eyes, trying his best to fall asleep and ignore the sinking and crushing feeling in his chest that seemed to have taken residence for a while now.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

The next night, he found a deserted minivan in the middle of the road to sleep in. He tried to hot-wire it but gave up after a couple of hours of frustration, realizing that he had no idea what the hell he was doing. God, they'd always made this shit look so much easier in the movies. He sighed and slumped back.

The streets were much emptier than Wooyoung would've imagined.

He wasn't sure how long it'd been since this whole zombie apocalypse had all started, but he knew that the infection had spread incredibly fast.

Everywhere he'd walked so far had been almost completely barren, too eerily empty, that Wooyoung had found no luck in finding anyone else to help him in all of... this. The only upside had been that with so many people gone and so many places left abandoned, he'd had no problem breaking into stores and buildings whenever he needed food or a place to rest and freshen up.

He thanked whatever was out there listening for the showers and bathrooms still running perfectly every day. He didn’t think he could survive anything if he was feeling grimy all the time.

What also sucked was that, even though his phone hadn't miraculously died yet, it had zero service or wifi. So he didn't even have the company of a distraction or the help of the internet or Google Maps or whatever to help him make the trip somewhat easier. 

And he was also stuck with what might have been the worst part of all— having to deal with his own thoughts with nothing else to help drown them out. 

He attempted to hot-wire the minivan again when he woke up the following morning, but after a couple hundred more failed attempts, he groaned and let his head fall against the steering wheel in frustration. It caused the visor overhead to fall open and, miraculously, a spare set of keys fell out onto his lap.

"Oh, thank god," Wooyoung breathed out. There'd been no way in hell he would've been able to get the car started any other way.

The car wouldn't take him all the way to Canada. The tank was less than half full, but it was a thousand times better than nothing at all, and it was a well-deserved break from having to walk. Wooyoung had no room to complain. 

He knew he wouldn't find anything, but he scanned the radio anyway, hoping that by some dumb luck there'd be something on to help distract him, to help make him feel just a little less lonely. He scanned through the stations of static for a bit and was just about to give up when he finally landed on a station playing something. The station's number 81.8 glowed across the dashboard as the music gently filled the van. 

It was different to what he'd usually listen to and he wasn't sure if he even liked it, but it was the most company he'd gotten in a long while, so he cranked up the volume and started to drive. 

"And I swear we were the only ones to see the comet crash into the sun... Oh, oh," the guy in the song sang passionately and Wooyoung couldn't help but drum his fingers along to the beat, trying to imagine who in the world was out there taking the time to broadcast their favorite songs to whoever was able to listen during the end of the world. 

"The universe is like a ton of lead, crushing down upon my little head... Oh, oh, oh," the guy continued to croon, and somehow, even if it was in the smallest way, it helped make him feel less alone. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Wooyoung still had his family in Canada.

At least... he was hoping he still had his family in Canada...

He didn't even want to imagine what he'd do if he found his mom, dad, and older brother dead or, worse, as zombies.

He'd tried calling them a million times when all this started.

And then a million more times after that even though the service on his phone no longer worked, knowing that the call wouldn't go through, but trying anyway. 

He kept trying until his phone eventually died and he was just left with staring at his tear-stained face reflected back to him in the black screen left behind.

It felt like the universe was mocking him. 

He didn't know if his family was okay— if they were still there in their town, or if they were even alive.

All he did know was that he was going to make it back to them and find out no matter what. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

The radio station started to get all staticky after a few hours of driving, droning in and out of being audible, so Wooyoung just shut it off in frustration.

But now, with no distractions left, his mind took the time to start running freely, remembering how he had ended up in this situation.

It wasn't a position Wooyoung had ever thought he'd be in— not that anyone else had ever taken the time to plan out their life in accordance with what they'd do if an unwarranted zombie fucking apocalypse were to ever occur, but... still...

He'd been studying engineering, back at Duke for another semester when it all started. He had gotten to witness firsthand how so many of his classmates and professors got torn apart and attacked by zombies that had somehow managed to infiltrate the campus. 

He'd left the university immediately and then started to make his way back to Canada not too long after that. Seonghwa and Yeosang, his best friends, his brothers, for as long as he could remember, were right along with him.

The situation had been shitty from the very beginning, but at least he hadn't been alone throughout the whole ordeal. At least he had Seonghwa and Yeosang by his side, the only people he trusted with his life and relied on as they all tried to make their way back home and to their families. 

He'd thought that as long as they were together, they'd be invincible— was willing to live in ignorant bliss enough to believe and hope for it. 

Yeosang's screams rang in his ears the moment the radio cut off. It'd become a constant echo in his mind, a sort of fucked up version of tinnitus that he couldn't drone out no matter how hard he tried. Wooyoung's breathing started to quicken, feeling like he was being suffocated, and stopped the car abruptly. He took his glasses off and set them on the dashboard before hastily climbing over into the backseat. 

He lay down on the floor, clinging onto himself and shutting his eyes impossibly tight to try and stop the images of Seonghwa's insides spilling out around his feet, unable to do anything to help him, from reappearing in his mind. But at that point, they'd been burned into his mind.

Branded into him forever; ugly, hot, and sickening.

He stayed there, clinging onto himself as tightly as he could, as if that could keep him from falling apart until the sun came up again. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

The car ran out of gas halfway through the next day. Wooyoung was surprised that it lasted as long as it had. 

He ended up not too far away from a deserted convenience store in the middle of nowhere though, and he hopped out of the car excitedly. He fixed his glasses, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and started to make his way towards it. 

He hadn't slept since he'd started driving the minivan and he felt like he was about to collapse from exhaustion at any moment, but he forced himself to push on. He didn't really have any other options. 

He opened the door slowly when he finally made it to the desolate building, scanning the room to make sure that no one else was inside before slowly making his way in. He made a beeline directly towards the food, suddenly hyper-aware of how hungry he was and how loudly his stomach began to growl.

"Okay, okay," he murmured to it when it let out another loud growl before tearing into a bag of chips.

He let out a small moan when he took a bite— seriously, when was the last time he'd eaten?— and kept stuffing more into his mouth as he started to make his way towards the refrigerated section to grab some water and chugged it down in seconds. He grabbed a couple more bottles to stuff into his backpack, and then started to walk around the store like that; stuffing things that he deemed necessary inside, not sure when the next time he'd reach another location stocked with food would be. 

He didn't pick up on the sound of footsteps coming towards him until it was too late, and then suddenly the air was filled with the sound of a gun going off.

Wooyoung dove down to the floor immediately, glasses falling off his face and skittering noisily across the floor a few feet away from him. He heard something else hit the floor behind him not too long after, but he didn't dare turn to look. 

"Shit," he swore and shuffled forward to reach for his glasses as quickly as he could when he started to hear the footsteps getting closer.

The sound of a gun getting reloaded filled the air and Wooyoung couldn't help but freeze for a second. 

He shoved his glasses back onto his face and finally turned around to see another guy standing at the end of the aisle, an AK-47 pointed directly at him.

Wooyoung felt the blood drain out of his face and he held his breath as the guy stared him down, eyes narrowed and calculating, before turning his attention to another sound behind Wooyoung. 

The guy moved the gun a few inches to the left and then pulled the trigger. Wooyoung flinched but followed the guy's line of vision, finally turning to look behind him, gasping when he spotted the motionless body of a zombie on the ground a few feet away from him. There was a bullet wound going through his stomach and the other one straight through the head. 

He breathed out a small What the fuck? before turning around to look back at the guy still holding the gun, aim now trained back on Wooyoung. 

The other guy, who looked to be around the same age and build as Wooyoung, stepped closer to him. Wooyoung wasn't sure what to do, couldn't necessarily do much with a gun threateningly aimed at him, so he just stared back. 

"What the fuck?" Wooyoung murmured softly again. 

"I should be asking you the same thing," the guy said and he took a step closer. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Yah, I was just hungry!" Wooyoung responded and held his hand up in surrender, motioning towards his backpack filled with food and water. "Really! That's all I was here for. I'll leave you alone, just… okay can you please stop pointing that thing at me, it's freaking me out."

"You don't have anything else on you?" he asked, looking Wooyoung over as if he were hiding his own AK-fucking-47 behind his back, waiting for an opening to attack. 

"No, I promise!" Wooyoung insisted and showed him the backpack full of food again, shaking it a little to emphasize his point. "I just wanted some Funyuns!"

The guy looked him over a couple more times before finally lowering the gun, most likely coming to the conclusion that Wooyoung was, in fact, not a threat, and then slung it over his back. He walked over to Wooyougn and bent down, holding his hand out for Wooyong to take. 

"Wow, what are you doing out here alone and unarmed?" 

Wooyoung looked at the hand offered to him, unable to stop himself from finally taking a good look at the other’s face. He was... incredibly pretty; his features sharp and focused, but so kind and welcoming at the same time. He couldn't help but reach out and automatically accept the outstretched hand, standing up and wobbling a little on his feet when he was upright again. 

He steadied himself against the shelves and shrugged, feeling a little self-conscious now with such a stupidly hot person so close, and fiddled with his glasses.

“I dunno... I haven't really run into any trouble by myself until now..."

The cute guy eyed him unbelievably before asking, "Where exactly are you coming from?"

"North Carolina," Wooyoung responded. "I go— well, I was going to Duke before... all of this... but now, I'm just trying to get back to Canada to see my family."

The guy, who had been eyeing his backpack curiously with his head tilted adorably, looked back up to give Wooyoung the most skeptical look he'd ever seen.

"Wait," he started slowly. "Let me get this straight... You," he pointed at Wooyoung, "were in North Carolina," he pointed up this time and Wooyoung nodded a little slowly, not sure where he was going with this. The guy crossed his arms over his chest and gave him an amused look. "And you've been trying to make it to Canada." It was a statement, not a question. 

"Uhm, yeah? That's literally what I just said," Wooyoung answered anyway.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here in swamp-ass-humidity Florida, then?" 

Okay... that took Wooyoung by surprise.

He opened his mouth like a fish a couple of times before weakly replying with, "Florida?"

Holy shit had he read that map completely wrong. 

The guy's pretty features broke into a wide, shit-eating grin before doubling over, giggles erupting from him as he held onto his sides.

"Oh my god," he let out another round of giggles, but it didn't feel mean or mocking. It felt more like he was laughing with Wooyoung rather than at him. He couldn't help but feel mesmerized by the cute dimples that decorated the other's face as he smiled.

"How did... you not know... that you were in fucking... Florida," he gasped out in between giggles and wiped at an eye.

Wooyoung felt his face heat up and he crossed his arms over his chest, feeling even more self-conscious but... not in a bad way anymore, strangely.

"Yeah? Well, let's see how easy it is for you to read an old ass map with no help then... Mr. Terminator over here..." he finished lamely. He had no idea what to say to save himself from the embarrassment.

That only made the guy start to giggle even harder, eyes a half-crescent moon, so pretty and soft that Wooyoung couldn't help but smile at the sound despite himself. His laugh was just... so cute... and it was a contagious sound, as if it were daring Wooyoung not respond in any other way. 

The guy eventually straightened back up, smiling widely, dimples on full display under the cute blush on his cheeks, his hand clapping down onto Wooyoung's shoulder good-naturedly.

"Well, you look absolutely exhausted. Come on, I have a room in the back that you can crash in if you want."

With that, he turned around and walked towards the back of the store, not even glancing back to check to see if Wooyoung was following. 

Wooyoung bit his lip, unsure of what to do, but then shrugged before following after him. The guy did just save his life after all... and he really was tired. 

And also, as much as he hated to admit, he was just such a sucker for a pretty face. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"Huh," Wooyoung said as he stepped into the back room. "So this is how you showed up out of nowhere to save the day."

The place surprisingly looks a little lived in. Empty food bags littered the top of a small table, but besides that, the room was pretty clean.

A couple of shirts were folded neatly on top of a desk, and multiple water bottles and protein bars surrounded them. A worn-looking Shiba Inu stuffed plushie sat nearby as well. Wooyoung tilted his head curiously at it, wondering what something so seemingly innocent was doing there.

Then again, he could say the same for the pretty boy in the room with him.

The cute guy snorted in amusement and set his gun down on a table before sitting down in an old, worn leather chair. 

"I was actually outside, but my spidey senses just started tingling and I knew someone needed my help," he stated matter of factly. 

Wooyoung's eyes widen a little at that and the other guy let out a soft giggle at his reaction.

"I'm totally kidding."

Wooyoung shrugged, face heating up slightly. "Yeah, well... I've seen weirder shit happen recently. Spidey senses actually sounds like they would be the most normal thing to come out of this. And maybe the coolest, too."

The guy eyed him thoughtfully before nodding.

“Yeah, I guess you have a point there." He pointed a thumb behind him to a security camera system on the wall. "But, unfortunately, no actual superpowers. I just happened to see you on the cameras here. I was gonna leave you alone, but then I saw how you got too interested in eating your chips to even notice the zombie sneaking up on you. Almost out there risking it all for some Funyuns." The guy smiled jokingly. 

"Yah! Tell me those things aren't good enough to die for!" Wooyoung shot back teasingly, but then, much more sincerely, "Thank you, by the way. You... you really saved my life back there. I can’t thank you enough, seriously." 

"Don't mention it," the guy shrugged nonchalantly like it was no big deal, like it was something he did all the time. And maybe it was. "You must've not slept in days either, though. You're starting to look a little like a zombie yourself," he teased lightly, lightening the mood. "I almost shot you by accident out there."

"Oh, shut up!" Wooyoung sputtered, but he started laughing too. 

"Dark circles so big, I thought they were some type of crater on your face."

"Yah-"

"Looking like some type of zombie slash skeleton mix, I sincerely thought you were a new breed."

"Okay, jesus, I get it, I look fucking tired," Wooyoung said exasperatedly, but he was still laughing along. No matter what the other said, it just didn’t feel mean coming from him. 

The guy flashed him his adorable dimpled grin before pointing over to a makeshift mattress on the other side of the room.

Wooyoung immediately made his way over to it, taking his glasses off before collapsing into it face first with a grunt.

"Thank you," he muffled out against the pillow, exhaustion hitting him tenfold. He could feel unconsciousness steadily creep in. 

"Yeah, yeah, don't mention it. Goodnight, Canada."

"S'not my name," Wooyoung murmured, but he wasn't sure if the words ever actually escaped his mouth, sleep already taking over. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

He woke up sometime later to the feeling of something poking his cheek. 

He groggily tried to swat it away but it kept poking him. He opened his eyes slowly to find the cute stranger grinning that dimpled smile down at him, an amused little eyebrow raise on his face.

From this close, Wooyoung could see how deep and pretty the guy's eyes were. He blinked dazedly.

Ugh. He was so cute, it wasn't fair.  

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry at all, "but you've been sleeping for more than 12 hours now and your stomach wouldn't stop making noise so I thought you might’ve wanted to wake up to eat some more now."

He tossed a berry yogurt parfait into Wooyoung's lap and then moved to sit down in his chair, pulling the shiba plushie into his lap before opening his own parfait. Wooyoung found it absolutely endearing. 

"Thanks," Wooyoung murmured, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, before putting his glasses on and opening up the parfait. 

"Don't mention it," the guy replied again, just like he did before concerning saving Wooyoung's life, and Wooyoung couldn't help but study him curiously. 

He didn't seem like the kind of guy to be out and about killing zombies. Not at all.

His frame was really skinny, and Wooyoung wondered if it was for lack of food or if he had always been that thin. The gun seemed too big for him, foreign-looking in his small hands, but Wooyoung had seen that he absolutely knew how to work the weapon— that he knew how to kill with it. 

He also noticed that the guy also seemed to be alone. 

"So, are you from Florida?" Wooyoung asked conversationally as he began to eat.

The guy shook his head. "I've sort of just been traveling around since this... thing... started," he murmured lowly, and Wooyoung couldn't help but notice how his hand pulled the plushie closer to him. "Pretty much been to every state by now, I think.”

“Alone?" Wooyoung tried to ask casually, but there was a flicker of something dark in the guy's pretty eyes, disappearing so quickly that Wooyoung felt like he had just imagined it. 

"Yeah. Alone," his arm squeezed the plushie a little tighter before shaking himself out of whatever stupor he'd been about to fall into. "But at least I'm armed. I don't need anyone else coming in to save my sorry ass," he smirked cheekily over at Wooyoung. 

Wooyoung didn't reply. Instead, he just nodded thoughtfully and continued to eat, thinking things over in his head.

The cute stranger was alone... knew how to work a gun and had been around the country enough to know his way around... and had he already brought up the fact that he was cute?

Not that that last piece of information mattered or anything, but Wooyoung couldn't help but look the guy over again, consideringly. 

"I think you should help me get to Canada," Wooyoung announced as soon as he finished his parfait. He pushed his glasses up to rest on his nose more comfortably. 

The guy quirked an eyebrow up in amusement and huffed out a breath. "Oh, yeah? And why do you think that?"

Wooyoung licked his lips and looked up to meet the guy in the eyes. "We both found out I can't read a map to save my fucking life."

"Yeah, you know, I was actually going to ask you about that. How the hell did you get into Duke, m-"

"That's beside the point!" Wooyoung interjected quickly, waving him off and feeling heat rushing to his cheeks. "The point is, I can't read old ass maps and I don't know the States well enough to be able to make it to Canada alone."

"And that's my problem... how?" the guy questioned, but he still looked amused and Wooyoung was certain that he'd been on board with the idea the moment Wooyoung had suggested it. 

"I think we can both use each other's help. Team up for a little bit, you know? I know how... lonely it can get out here on your own," Wooyoung added with sincerity, looking down for a second and forcing himself not to think about Seonghwa and Yeosang. Not right now.

He shook himself out of it and then pouted his bottom lip out exaggeratedly. "Plus, you wouldn't want to throw me out and have me fend for myself, would you?" He batted his eyes and jutted his bottom lip out more. 

The guy huffed out a small laugh and shook his head. He let his eyes travel over Wooyoung carefully like he was considering if it'd be worth it or not, and Wooyoung felt his ears burn a little at the intense gaze.

The guy then tipped his head back against the head of his chair and looked up at the ceiling, one hand holding the plushie close to him and the other using his fingers to drum against the armrest thoughtfully.

Eventually, after what felt like hours (but was probably closer to only a minute) he brought his gaze back to Wooyoung.

"Alright. I'll help you get to Canada."

"Sweet," Wooyoung grinned widely, feeling every bit like the cat who got the cream. 

"But if you end up being super annoying or something, I'm leaving your sorry ass to fend for itself," the guy warned and he leaned forward, holding the hand not gripping the plushie out for Wooyoung to shake. "Deal?"

"You got a fucking deal," Wooyoung reached out to take the guy's hand, smaller than his own but so much deadlier, and waggled his eyebrows exaggeratedly. 

The guy sighed and muttered something about Already regretting this, but still gave him a small, dimpled grin. 

Wooyoung beamed back at him in response. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"So, what's your name?"

They'd been walking for an hour on a long empty highway and it had just occurred to Wooyoung that he hadn't even asked yet.

"You can just call me Tampa," the other guy replied and it kind of sounded like he was joking, but also not.

Wooyoung turned to give him an unimpressed look. 

"Alright, fine. Since we're using made-up names from where we came from, you can call me Duke."

"Hmmm... nah. I think I'll just stick to calling you ‘Canada’, Canada," the guy grinned.

"Alright, fine then. I guess I'll call you ‘Asshole’ instead."

The guy snickered and nudged him playfully in the side. "Maybe try ‘Guy-Who-Just-Saved-My-Life-And-Is-Gonna-Haul-My-Ass-To-Canada-Out-Of-The-Goodness-Of-His-Heart.’"

Wooyoung let a beat of silence pass before answering again. 

"Hmmm, nah. I like ‘Asshole’ better."

The guy, Tampa, threw his head back to laugh and Wooyoung smiled back, feeling warm for the first time in what felt like a long, long time. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

It was strange how comfortable Wooyoung felt around Tampa almost instantaneously like he could trust him with his life (not like he hadn't saved it already) even though he barely met the guy a little less than a week ago.

Tampa was just such an easygoing, carefree, and kind person (and so adorable especially with the way he clung to the Shiba plushie despite also carrying a whole ass gun) it was such a nice change from the chaos everywhere around them.

He was able to joke around about almost anything with him and his laughter and charming personality made Wooyoung bubble up with the type of happiness he hadn't felt since this whole thing began. 

They ended up finding an abandoned car on the side of the road and Tampa actually, somehow, did know how to hot-wire vehicles— seriously who was this guy???— so they hopped in and started driving down the road. 

Wooyoung turned the radio on as soon as the car started and crossed his fingers when he landed on 81.8, hoping that it would work again like it had before. Despite having Tampa to keep him company now, it was still nice to fill the comfortable silences with some background noise.

Miraculously, an upbeat song in Spanish came on and Wooyoung and Tampa glanced at each other before jokingly moving to the beat at first and laughing before eventually getting into it for real, dancing as much as the cramped car seats allowed. 

It was so nice having someone to laugh with, to smile with, to dance with again. 

"Can't believe someone's broadcasting music out there during all of this," Tampa said after the song finished and they settled down. He tapped his fingers absentmindedly on the steering wheel along to the beat of the next song that came on. 

"Guess we're all out here trying to do something in all of this," Wooyoung replied, watching the tapping fingers in interest. 

Tampa looked over at him thoughtfully for a beat, as if Wooyoung had actually said something profound instead of an offhanded remark before turning back to look at the road. 

"Yeah, guess you're right," he mumbled.

His fingers were still tapping against the steering wheel, but this time, it seemed more like an anxious tick. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

The car broke down a day later and Tampa told him that there was a town a few hours up ahead that they could rest at if they started walking now. 

"Come on, Canada," he said as he hopped out. He slung the gun over his shoulder and held it in front of him— the Shiba plush tucked against his chest securely— as he scanned the area carefully, making sure there was nothing dangerous around. "The sooner we start walking, the sooner we can get some rest." 

Wooyoung climbed out, stuffing the flashlight they'd found in the glove compartment into his backpack before slinging it over his shoulder. He had offered to carry the Shiba plush in there as well, but Tampa seemed hesitant and adamant about keeping it close.

Wooyoung wasn't going to pry.

Not yet, at least. 

"God, I'm fucking starving," Wooyoung whined and made a face when Tampa offered him one of his nasty protein bars. "Thanks, but I'd rather starve," he joked.

"Suit yourself," Tampa shrugged and went to take a bite out of it, humming in pleasure dramatically as he ate.

Wooyoung's stomach grumbled almost instantly and he eyed Tampa out of the corner of his eye. 

He gave in not even ten seconds later. 

"Alright, fine! Twist my arm, oh my god, I'll take some of your nasty health food!"

Tampa rolled his eyes but he broke off a piece and handed it over to Wooyoung. He made a face the entire time he ate it, but it helped settle his troubled stomach at least. 

"Don't act like you won't eat anything," Tampa laughed when Wooyoung opened his hand for another piece. "I literally saw you try some of that cat food before we left, you weren't being sneaky at all." 

"Oh, don't get me wrong, the cat food was nowhere near as gross as this shit," Wooyoung replied as he took another bite from the piece Tampa handed over, blushing slightly at actually having been caught. He had just been little curious. "Nowhere near I'd-Die-For-These-Funyuns worthy, but I guess it'll have to do."

He sighed theatrically, leaning a little into Tampa's side as he held his palm out for another piece. 

"Uh huh," Tampa snorted and playfully shoved Wooyoung back with no real force. "That's why you're finishing all my ‘nasty fucking health’ food, right?" 

Wooyoung just smiled widely over at him, totally unapologetic.

Tampa shook his head, unable to hide his cute dimpled smile as he handed Wooyoung the last piece.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Zombies smelled really fucking weird. 

Not that Wooyoung expected them to smell like roses and sunshine or anything like that, but it was also something that he didn't think he'd ever get used to.

The smell of death and rotten flesh wasn't really something he'd ever had to deal with before until then. 

Tampa shot the already unmoving zombie in the head again and Wooyoung winced. That was another thing he didn't think he'd ever get used to. The sound of a gun. 

"Better safe than sorry," Tampa murmured before stepping around the mess, making a beeline towards the food aisle. 

Wooyoung took one more glance at the remains, losing his appetite.

At least he wasn't the one who had to step up and pull the trigger; he didn't think he could ever bring himself to, zombie or not. He couldn't help but feel so much respect for Tampa as he quickly turned to follow him. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"You're, like, strangely used to this, aren't you?" Wooyoung asked Tampa as he checked around the rest of the store to make sure that there were no more threats hidden around.

Once he deemed it safe, he made his way to the backroom and Wooyoung followed, grabbing food and water to stuff inside the backpack along the way. 

Tampa raised a shoulder in a half-shrug. "You could say that."

He'd been wondering about Tampa's life for a while now. It was a good distraction from having to think of his own. 

Did Tampa have family out there? Did he have any friends with him, like Wooyoung had, or had he been going through this alone from the very beginning?

Had he been with someone dearly close to him but then lost them along the way too? Was that where the plushie had come from? Was that why he held on to it like a lifeline despite it getting in the way at times or was it just a random object to help ease the loneliness that he’d come across along the way?

"Were you ever with someone? Before? Did they give you that plushie?" Wooyoung asked before his body could keep up with his mind, before he could think of shutting his mouth and not letting every thought out like he always did.

One glance at Tampa's expression and Wooyoung wanted to punch himself in his face, immediately regretting his words.  

Tampa didn't answer, but his whole body tensed up, his grip on his Shiba plush becoming impossibly tighter, and Wooyoung had never felt so guilty.

They stayed quiet as they sat down in the backroom and ate their food. Wooyoung so desperately wanted to apologize for being nosy, to try and repair the uncomfortable silence hanging over them, but he couldn't think of anything to say without making things more awkward, so he just stayed silent for once. 

"We should get some sleep," Tampa said after they finished eating. "We can make it to the next town before the sun goes down tomorrow if we head out early enough."

Wooyoung nodded numbly and ran a hand through his hair, taking his glasses off and setting them down next to his head as he lay down. 

Tampa didn't lay down yet. He got up to throw their trash away and then proceeded to pace back and forth for a little while, as if he wasn't even conscious of doing it.

He looked so uncharacteristically on edge and Wooyoung couldn't help but feel the immense weight of guilt settle deeper into him.

God, he wished he could take back his stupid, prying questions. 

Tampa eventually settled down after a few more minutes of restlessly moving around, seemingly getting all the nerves out. 

He slept with his back turned to Wooyoung and didn’t turn once.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

His feet were absolutely killing him, but he tried to listen to Tampa talk animatedly about...

Well, actually, he wasn't really sure what Tampa was talking about, but his voice was just... really nice to listen to. It helped distract Wooyoung from how exhausted he felt. 

They were in Georgia, Tampa had informed him. 

Wooyoung didn't know what that meant for their journey and told Tampa as much. Tampa just giggled adorably and simply promised him that they'd be able to rest in the next town coming up soon. 

Wooyoung didn't need to know much more than that so he just focused on the soothing, warm tone of Tampa's voice, lulling him into a peaceful trance.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They were laid out on top of a broken-down car in the middle of the highway, looking up at the sky above.

Wooyoung had felt like he was going to collapse if he didn't rest soon and Tampa agreed to stop for the night when they came across the vehicle.

"We're close enough to town anyway," Tampa told him and Wooyoung felt so relieved. That meant they'd be able to find a place to get some more food and a shower soon.

Tampa kept pointing out weirdly shaped clouds passing by and telling Wooyoung that they looked like him. It didn't make any sense whatsoever, but Wooyoung couldn't help but laugh loudly every time and tried to find an even weirder-shaped cloud to counter with. 

It went on like that until the sun began to set. A breath-taking mixture of yellow, orange, and pink lit up the sky and they were both quiet as the colors slowly transitioned to pitch black, the stars taking a turn at leaving them staring in awe as well.

They stayed there in comfortable silence and Wooyoung couldn't help but wonder how the sky still managed to feel so warming and calming with so much shit going on around them. 

He turned to look over at Tampa gazing up admiringly at the stars, and wondered the same thing about him. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"You ever wonder what the hell happened to cause all of this?" Wooyoung asked, slurping noisily and obnoxiously on his red slushie.

They'd found the only 7/11 left standing in Tenessee amid the chaos and were filling up on as much junk food as they wanted, wrappers and more unopened food scattered around them like confetti. 

Tampa took a bite out of his Honeybun, chewing thoughtfully before nodding seriously.

"Obviously whatever was in that Prime 'energy drink' that one douchey youtuber made."

Wooyoung spluttered mid-sip, coughing as the slushie almost went down the wrong way.

"Prime?" He couldn't help but start laughing despite still coughing. 

Tampa smiled slyly but nodded solemnly, taking a sip of his own slushie as if he were about to deliver some profound truth.

"The second that shit hit the market, it was all over for us. I bet you they were sneaking zombie serum into the tropical punch flavor to give it an extra kick or something."

Wooyoung's laugh got more high-pitched as Tampa continued. "Zombie serum in an energy drink? Seriously? That's your best theory?"

San grinned, his eyes gleaming mischievously as he leaned forward. "Think about it, Canada! People were chugging that stuff like it was going to cure all their problems. Trying to go all superhuman or something to unlock some hidden potential. Next thing you know— bam!" Tampa clapped dramatically, making some trash flutter to the floor. "Zombie apocalypse!"

Wooyoung leaned into Tampa's side comfortably as he continued to cackle at the ridiculous statement. "What, you think he planned this whole shitstorm out for some elaborate YouTube prank video?"

Tampa tilted his head like he was considering it.

"I wouldn't put it past him. Or any other youtuber for that matter… 'I Survived My Own Zombie Apocalypse (NOT CLICKBAIT!)' sounds exactly like something they'd do."

"Okay, okay I see your point." Wooyoung cackled again before taking another sip of his slushie and pitching his voice low and mocking. "Oh. My. God. Bro, have you tried the new Meta Moon flavor? Every time I drink it, I swear I can bench press a fucking car!" He flexed dramatically, jostling Tampa in the process, and pretending to strain under the invisible weight. 

Tampa giggled uncontrollably next to him, the warm and now familiar sound flooding into Wooyoung's chest sweetly, before he straightened up, his voice matching Wooyoung's tone to match the bit.

"No way, bro! Let me try!" He grabbed Wooyoung's slushie, his hand falling over Wooyoung's, and sipped from it with an intense focus. 

Wooyoung watched, mid-laugh, as Tampa sucked on the straw. His brain was completely blank as he watched him, looking up from his eyelashes as he drank with fervor. Wooyoung knew that his face was probably just as red as the slushie now.

Tampa pulled back (much too soon for Wooyoung's liking) and started to vibrate theatrically, his arms shaking as if he were about to explode. 

"Bro! I think I'm evolving— oh my god, is this normal?" His eyes rolled back as he pretended to levitate off the counter, mumbling nonsense as he unlocked his 'final form'. 

Wooyoung let out a wheezing laugh, tears forming in his eyes as he gripped the counter for support. Tampa broke out of character too, leaning right back into Wooyoung's side to let his own giggles out. 

"Meta Moon," Wooyoung gasped in between laughs. "What even is that flavor? Like, what the hell would a meta moon even taste like???" 

Tampa straightened up a bit, still laughing. "It would taste like bad decisions and regret. Duh~"

They continued to laugh, blissfully unaware of the world around them. It wasn't until the sound of banging on the door caused them to stop, freezing in place and popping them out of their little bubble.

Tampa automatically reached for his gun and Wooyoung stared wide-eyed at the zombie staring straight back at them, suddenly being brutally reminded of the reality they were living in. 

Tampa killed it with two shots to the head. And then another one for good measure. 

"Guess that Prime really did have some kick to it, huh?" Wooyoung tried to lighten the mood, but even to himself the words sounded small and lacked any true emotion. The words tasted bitter on his tongue. 

Tampa didn't reply, just crumpled up the rest of his unfinished Honeybun and threw it away.

"Come on, let's go find another place to sleep." With his plushie hugged tightly to his chest, tighter and closer than the gun, he turned around and left the store, not bothering to check if Wooyoung followed behind. 

They didn't talk for the rest of the night, the near attack having destroyed any semblance of calmness they had felt not that long ago.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

All of Wooyoung's dreams since the apocalypse started had been infested with nothing but images of zombies tearing him apart. 

They'd been dreams of him having to relive the day his classmates had all been wiped out, bitten, and killed and turned into something completely different, something no longer human. 

He'd relived Seonghwa and Yeosang's deaths dozens of times now. 

His dreams had been nothing but nightmares that always caused him to wake up in cold sweats, on the brink of countless panic attacks, and leaving him breathing heavily— clutching at his chest because the phantom pain of his heart getting ripped out still lingered despite being awake again. 

Tampa was always awake each time it happened and always gave Wooyoung an empathetic look, reaching out to touch his shoulder tentatively, and giving it a small squeeze when Wooyoung didn't move away.

This time, Wooyoung's hand shot out to clutch tightly onto the fabric of Tampa's shirt, tugging insistently and holding on to it like it were a lifeline. 

"Hey, hey, you're okay," Tampa murmured softly and searched his eyes, trying to hold his gaze steady and telling Wooyoung to focus on them. "Breathe, Canada, breathe. Deep breaths, come on, follow my breathing, okay?"

He started breathing in and then out, in and out, in and out, deeply and slowly and Wooyoung tried his best to follow along. 

He calmed down after a while and shakingly let go of Tampa's shirt. His hands fell limply to his sides. 

"Thanks," he breathed out, barely audible even to himself. 

But Tampa heard him. He nodded, still looking into Wooyoung's eyes, looking like he wanted to ask him something, but then changing his mind at the last second.

Instead, Tampa just gave him a small twitch of his lips before giving his shoulder another small squeeze before heading back to the spot where he, more than likely, hadn't been sleeping. 

Wooyoung woke up from another nightmare that same night, but managed to calm himself down by remembering Tampa's breathing.

The gentle and soothing rise and fall of his chest, the phantom warmth of his hand on his shoulder still lingering there, keeping him grounded enough. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Wooyoung knew Tampa didn't sleep at night. 

Or, at least, not throughout all the night. 

He'd woken up from several nightmares or restless sleep to find Tampa sitting up and staring blankly up at the sky or the ceiling of whatever building they'd ended up in, with his gun held tightly in his hands and his Shiba plushie on his lap.

His finger constantly flexing and un-flexing  over the trigger over and over and over again. 

Wooyoung never said anything— mostly because he had no idea what to say— but also because he didn't think that Tampa would actually respond if he did. 

Tampa always looked... so out of it when he was like that.

Like he was staring off a million miles away, repeating something over and over in his head. Wooyoung didn't think that Tampa was even aware of his surroundings when he was in this catatonic state. At least, certainly not enough to see that Wooyoung was awake and watching silently.

He didn't know what he'd do if Tampa turned to him with those glassy, scared eyes that seemed to stare into nothing and everything at the same time. 

Wooyoung completely understood, though. 

He may not have known anything about Tampa's past but he knew that he wasn't the only one who'd had to witness the violent death of those close to him. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Wooyoung fucking hated it when it rained. 

Especially when they were out in the middle of fucking nowhere and had nothing to shield themselves with from the harsh water pouring down on them. 

The droplets were big and fat, and falling down hard and fast. Wooyoung tried to use his backpack as a makeshift umbrella but it didn't do much.

"C'mon, Canada," Tampa nudged him with his shoulder, but he had his hands wrapped around himself, plushie under his shirt as he did his best to keep it from getting completely soaked, and Wooyoung could hear how his teeth chattered. "It's not that bad."

"Not that bad, he says as he can't get a single word of that sentence out without sounding like his teeth are about to fall out," Wooyoung huffed and nudged Tampa back, grimacing when more droplets landed on his glasses, making it that much harder to see. "Besides, you're not the one who has to deal with not being able to fucking see clearly," he pouted dramatically. 

Tampa didn’t respond though. Instead, he perked up and nudged Wooyoung again, harder this time out of excitement, as he pointed to an old payphone booth up a little ways ahead and they immediately took off running towards it. 

It was slightly cramped when they stepped inside, sliding down the glass to sit down, but Tampa was so warm against him despite the rain, so Wooyoung didn't mind being pressed against him. Not at all.

He leaned more into the touch, taking advantage of the situation and snuggling up into his side immediately. 

"Yah, you're fucking freezing!" Tampa yelped slightly, teeth still chattering, but he didn't move away from Wooyoung.

Instead, he shifted and moved to lean in closer to Wooyoung's side, making himself comfortable and taking out his Shiba plushie, trying to dry it as best as he could. Wooyoung felt a harm hum running through his body like a current. 

They stayed like that for who knows how long. Sitting on the floor of an old phone booth, pressed up against each other, rain pattering against the glass to its own (now) comforting beat, as they waited for it to pass so they could keep walking. 

Wooyoung was about to ask Tampa a question when he felt the other man's head slip down onto his shoulder, chest rising up and down slowly, his breathing soft and even. 

Wooyoung's breath stilled as he looked down at Tampa's face, soft and unguarded during sleep, making him look younger and so, so innocent, Wooyoung's heart tightened at the sight. 

Wooyoung shifted slightly, careful not to jostle Tampa, and leaned back to rest his own head against the booth— and then tentatively to land softly on top of Tampa's.

The water droplets on his glasses hadn't dried yet but it didn't bother him at the moment. He was too focused on much warmer he was feeling, despite still freezing. 

He fell asleep to the sound of the rain and the calm, slow breathing of the man sleeping on his shoulder. 

It was the first night in a long time where Wooyoung didn't have a nightmare. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They'd been in Kentucky for a day or two now when they came across a public pool that still had water in it, clean water, and Wooyoung had somehow managed to convince Tampa to jump over the locked gate and go in with him. 

"This place is probably filled with so many diseases," Tampa grimaced as he set his gun down to the side, and then gently placed his plushie on a pool chair nearby.

He looked back over at the water and made a face, his lips forming that adorable pout that Wooyoung couldn't get enough of. Wooyoung forced himself to focus and follow Tampa's gaze instead. 

The water looked so clean and refreshing— something that still really surprised him— like a little piece of paradise that had been hiding there, waiting specifically for them to come and find it. 

"There's a zombie apocalypse going around us and you're, what? Worried about a few cooties from a public pool?" Wooyoung cooed teasingly, reaching over to squeeze at Tampa's puffed-out cheeks, and then shouting in mock pain when Tampa slapped his hands away. 

"You don't even know what's been in there..."

"Yeah, but... I know what's about to be in there," Wooyoung replied with a mischievous smirk, his hands reaching out for the other man. 

Tampa didn't even have a chance to protest or move away, his mouth barely forming around a word when Wooyoung grabbed him, hugging him tightly and letting himself fall into the water, dragging Tampa right down with him. 

"You're such a fucking dick!" Tampa said when they resurfaced and he splashed water at Wooyoung's face, but there was a small smile tugging at his lips, dimples poking out even though he was trying to sound annoyed. Wooyoung just laughed and splashed water right back at him. "You better not be complaining about your glasses getting all wet later on, you dick," he said with a laugh and another splash of water to Wooyoung's face. 

Wooyoung grimaced and took his glasses off like he had just then remembered they were still there, muttering a small string of curses that had Tampa snorting amusedly. Wooyoung waved his glasses around in a vain attempt to get some of the water off while Tampa swam back over to the edge.

He pulled himself up, taking off his shoes and socks as soon as he was back out, setting them out to dry before also peeling off his shirt. 

Miles of Tampa's warm, honey-kissed skin revealed themselves to Wooyoung's hungry eyes, and he was like a moth to a flame, zoning in on nothing else but the ripples of water running down the man's torso and down to his bellybutton, then to his navel, and…

Wooyoung blinked dazedly. 

He didn't realize how long he'd been staring for until Tampa splashed water at him, smiling mirthfully. Wooyung felt his face heat up and went back to pretending to inspect the water clinging to his glasses. 

"You might wanna put your clothes out to dry too if you don't want to be walking around feeling all soggy later, Canada," Tampa called out before proceeding to wriggle out of his pants and stripping down to only his underwear, jesus fucking christ, before slipping back into the water.

Wooyoung felt his brain short circuit for a second time as Tampa floated around lazily on his back. 

Wooyoung placed his glasses back on and watched him for a bit. Tampa's eyes were closed peacefully, looking like he was actually enjoying the feeling of the water around him despite his complaining earlier.

His skin looked so good under the sun, golden and glistening as water droplets clung to the parts not completely submerged in the water. Tampa was skinny, but he still had a nice, lean build.

And really nice muscles that Wooyoung wanted to bite into. 

Wooyoung's mind flashed with the sudden urge to swim over and lick a droplet off him, letting his tongue linger before moving to trail even lower... he shook himself out of his thoughts. He had to get a grip on himself, now was definitely not the time to ogle at his friend. He cleared his throat awkwardly and swam back a little, realizing that he still hadn't replied. 

"N-no, I'm fine, haha... I'll just, uhm, dry out in the sun... later... or something," he finished weakly, and Tampa just shrugged, his eyes still closed and blissfully unaware of the whirlwind of Wooyoung's thoughts. 

"Suit yourself then," he sighed happily and returned to his peaceful floating. 

Wooyoung was very glad the water was cold as he started to swim a few laps around the pool to calm himself down. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Tampa was not a morning person. 

Wooyoung wasn't sure if it was because of all the sleepless nights, or if he had always just been that way, but it was an amusing sight each time. 

And also more adorable than it should be. 

His hair looked so cute all fluffy and tousled from sleep. Wooyoung wanted to reach over and run his fingers through it just to see if it really was just as soft as it looked. His cheeks and nose had a rosy tint to them and he still looked half-asleep with the way his eyes blinked blearily over to him. He looked like a kitten that had just woken up from a nap and Wooyoung had to take a deep breath.

He shot Wooyoung a look like he was crazy as he blinked back and forth between the food and him. 

"What's all this?" he mumbled, morning voice nice and low, and he rubbed at his eyes with the back of his wrists. Wooyoung wanted to coo at him and pinch his cheeks but he held himself back.  

Wooyoung had actually woken up before Tampa that morning and had decided to roam the store that they'd slept in the night before for any breakfast-y type foods. 

He had found eggs, bread, jelly, and even fruit that was somehow still good, pleasantly surprised to find that the store also had a small backroom with a tiny kitchenette with a small stove and he set to work. 

Wooyoung wasn't really sure what had made him want to do all that. 

Maybe it was the fact that he felt so thankful for Tampa, and wanted to show him how much he appreciated him for not only saving his life but deciding to still stick by him and take him home— for making this trip much less lonely than it had been at the beginning.

Maybe he just wanted to do something nice back in return. 

Maybe it was because Wooyoung had seen how tired Tampa had been looking for the past few days, the dark circles under his eyes becoming more and more prominent— probably from his own nightmares and thoughts not allowing him to have even any semblance of a peaceful or restful sleep. 

Maybe it was because Wooyoung had also noticed how little Tampa had been eating lately (if he even ate at all) even when they managed to find a place stocked with food. He always claimed to not be hungry enough and Wooyoung couldn't help but notice how much skinnier his already skinny frame had gotten. 

Or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that he had finally come to terms with the fact that he'd developed an incredibly, stupidly strong crush on the other man and he just wanted to make him smile and feel good and eat well so that he was alright or, whatever... 

Whatever the reason— it was all of the above, who was he fucking kidding— he'd decided to make Tampa breakfast and make sure he ate it all and then some before they started on their long day of walking. 

"Seriously, what is all this?" Tampa asked again, a little more awake now, but he didn't sound upset, just genuinely surprised. 

Wooyoung shrugged, suddenly feeling self-conscious, and moved to fix his glasses.

"I just figured you could use a home-cooked meal," he joked weakly and grabbed a piece of toast off his own plate, biting into it before reaching over for Tampa's plate. "I mean, unless you don't want it, then suit yourself. I, of course, would be more than happy to eat your share too."

"Yah!" Tampa giggled and playfully slapped his hands away. "I didn't say I didn't want it!" He glanced at the food and then back at Wooyoung one last time, giving him a thoughtful look, before digging into his food, eating like he had suddenly realized how ridiculously starved he had been. 

"Hey, slow down," Wooyoung laughed, beyond satisfied at seeing him finally eat again. "I know my food is I'd-Die-For-These-Funyuns worthy, but don't actually choke, please. I still need you to get me to Calgary."

Tampa rolled his eyes at that, laughing as he listened to Wooyoung and slowed down. 

"Thank you," Tampa said weakly after they both finished their food. He ran a finger through some leftover jelly on his plate and brought it up to his mouth, licking it off and moaning pleasantly.

Wooyoung's eyes followed the movement but looked away quickly when he saw Tampa staring right back at him. 

"Ice cream for breakfast?" Wooyoung choked out. 

"It's the end of the world, Canada," he smiled. "Of fucking course ice cream for breakfast!"

It was nowhere near normal, not by a longshot, but it was the most normal Wooyoung had felt in a long, long time. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They were inside a thrift store looking for hoodies and jackets or anything else that would keep them warm. The weather was starting to get colder and Wooyoung's shirt and light jacket just weren't cutting it anymore. 

"Canada, it's only, like, sixty degrees— sorry, fifteen degrees Celsius— and you're freezing? Are you sure you're from Canada if you get could this easily? Maybe heading back there wouldn't be the best idea right now," he teased. 

Wooyoung rolled his eyes and ignored the joking jab, elbowing Tampa in the side instead. Tampa just giggled and hugged his plushie closer. 

"By the way? Celsius?" Wooyoung pointed over to Tampa before going back to searching for a hoodie in his size, "absolute superior unit of measure compared to whatever the fuck far-fair-faharenteitit-"

"Fahrenheit," Tampa chimed in helpfully and happily. 

"Yeah, whatever. Don't get what that is, so," he threw his hands up exaggeratedly. "Why doesn't this place just use Celsius like, oh, I don't know, the rest of the fucking world?"

"Yah, don't knock down Fahrenheit like that," Tampa playfully chastised. "It makes so much more sense than Celsius. Who measures the temperature in relation to water instead of the body?"

This sent them into a long, drawn-out tangent, arguing heatedly over which was better. It was such a stupid, nonsensical thing to argue over, but it left Wooyoung feeling giddy and warm.

At one point, Wooyoung was waving his hands around so intensely that the hoodie he'd been holding flew off its hanger and hit Tampa square in the face. 

"Shit! Oh, my god, I'm so sorry!" Wooyoung was about to rush over and check to see if the other was alright, but Tampa simply lifted the hoodie off his face and smirked devilishly. He bunched up the fabric into a little ball and chucked it back directly at Wooyoung's surprised face.

This led to a sort of hoodie-dodgeball game that ended with clothes off the racks and strewn all over the place, their unit measurement debacle completely forgotten.

"Hey," Wooyoung started to say after they'd tired themselves out and lay collapsed on top of a mattress near the back of the store. He had his glasses up and pushed back to rest on top of his head. The world was a little blurry but Tampa was lying down right next to him, and that was all he wanted to see anyway. "What... what were you doing before all of this? Like... job-wise, I mean." He felt like they had gotten close enough now for Wooyoung to try and start to pry a bit more. A little at a time. 

Tampa huffed out an unamused breath and shook his head. He was looking up at the ceiling, hands resting on top of his shiba plush that rested on his chest, and Wooyoung just watched the rise and fall, feeling calm with the steady rhythm of it. 

"Working at a taekwondo studio," he said softly. There was a hint of sadness in his tone and voice, something bittersweet lacing his words, but it was gone in the next moment as Tampa turned to look over at Wooyoung, a small smile tugging gently at his lips. "What about you? Anything besides not being able to read maps at Duke?" 

"You’re never going to let that go, are you?" Wooyoung whined and Tampa snickered delightedly. "But, not really... school was pretty much it. Just working on my degree and then sometimes working at the campus library to make som extra cash." 

"Hence the cute librarian look?" Tampa pointed out as he gently placed his plushie aside and rolled onto his side to be able to reach for Wooyoung’s glasses. He plucked them off Wooyoung's head and then scooted over closer to him, placing them gently on his face again.

"Yeah," Wooyoung breathed out, looking back at Tampa dumbly, his mind replaying his words over and over. The cute librarian look. He thinks I'm cute? "Hence the look," he repeated back. "Totally not because I'm blind or anything. These? Strictly for aesthetic purposes only."

Tampa laughed and Wooyoung smiled, his heart fluttering at the sound, so familiar to his ears now. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing it. 

He didn't realize how close they'd gotten to each other until Tampa lifted his hand slowly, reaching over to softly, hesitantly, stroke Wooyoung's cheek with his thumb.

Wooyoung's brain sort of, maybe, completely shut down for a few seconds. 

"'m sorry," Tampa murmured. He stroked his thumb across his cheekbone one more time, his touch lingering for a beat longer before he pulled away. Wooyoung so desperately wanted to pull it back and keep it there. To be able to keep feeling the warmth of his skin on his, so safe and comforting. "I didn't know that one hoodie's zipper would hit you so hard when I threw it." 

Wooyoung reached up to touch the place where Tampa's thumb had been just a couple of seconds ago, just then feeling the bruise that was slowly forming. His skin tingled pleasantly as he looked up at Tampa, only to see him staring right back, his eyes focused only on him. 

"S'okay," Wooyoung murmured back. He let his hand fall back to his side and had to resist the urge to reach over and touch Tampa back in some way. "It didn't hurt or anything. You didn't hurt me."

Tampa bit his lip. "Still..." he breathed out slowly as he brought his hand back up, tentatively stroking his thumb over Wooyoung's check again, much to Wooyoung's satisfaction, as if to see if Wooyoung would let him. 

Wooyoung leaned into the touch this time, encouraging the other man to keep going, his skin on fire from the touch, his heart beating fast as Tampa looked at him. His eyebrows were a little furrowed as if in concentration, his breaths coming out slowly. Wooyoung's own breathing stilled the moment Tampa leaned in even closer to him, his lips just barely brushing over Wooyoung's bruised cheek before timidly pulling back. 

"Uhm," Wooyoung replied eloquently.

He wanted more. He wanted so much more. More than just that kiss on the cheek, more than just the hand resting there, thumb still stroking over it gently. He wanted to roll over on top of Tampa and kiss him until they both couldn't breathe, to press his body down into the mattress and show him how grateful he really was, to show how much he really cared for him. But his body just stayed frozen. 

Tampa just continued to smile softly, his cute dimples making an appearance and Wooyoong was so, so gone for this boy. 

"Goodnight, Canada," he said, his voice barely above a whisper as he stroked Wooyoung's cheek one last time before rolling onto his back again, and back to hugging his plushie.

"Yeah," Wooyoung breathed out and turned his gaze up to the ceiling, feeling lightheaded and grounded all at once. "Goodnight, Tampa..."

He swore his skin was still tingling pleasantly and warmly when he woke up the next morning. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Wooyoung was all bundled up in a hoodie and scarf with his hands stuffed in his pockets as he waited outside for Tampa to finish checking the inside of the store to see if it was clear from any zombies. 

It was something new that Tampa had been making them do as part of their routine now. Wooyoung didn't completely understand why, but Tampa just shyly shrugged and told him that it'd make him feel better knowing that Wooyoung was safely waiting for him.

So, Wooyoung shut his mouth and waited.

Tampa had even started letting Wooyoung hold onto his plushie now (Shiber, the other had revealed he had named it, looking slightly flustered, and Wooyoung still cooed at the memory) as he waited and it left Wooyoung feeling like he had won something huge. 

"Okay, all clear," he heard Tampa call out after a minute or two and Wooyoung immediately made his way inside. 

"Finally," Wooyoung sighed dramatically and took his scarf off, handing the plushie over to the grabby hands now reaching out for it, rolling his eyes fondly. "I was freezing out there!" His glasses had fogged up with the change of temperature and he had to take them off to clean. 

"Canada, it's only fifty-five degrees out," he replied and reached his hand out again, this time for Wooyoung's backpack. Wooyoung handed it over and Tampa started stuffing more ammo inside. 

"Thirteen degrees," Wooyoung muttered because he was still insisting that Celsius just made more sense. Tampa just muttered back a, whatever you say, and continued to stuff more boxes into the backpack. 

The store was a small knockoff version of a convenience store in Illinois, so Wooyoung was more than a little surprised to see how many boxes of ammo there were.

"How is it that you've been able to find bullets at, like, every place we stop at?"

Tampa turned to look over at him, throwing him an are you serious? look before walking around the store to find more supplies they needed, tossing them into the backpack as well. 

"I don't know if you've noticed or not, but we're in America. I'd be surprised if I wasn't able to find bullets everywhere we went."

Wooyoung hummed in acknowledgment, not being able to deny the easy, however unfortunate, logic. He went to take his own look around the store, searching for anything that could be useful. 

He immediately stopped when he came across a small, portable radio. 

"Ohmygod, yes," he said and grabbed it off the shelf, grabbing packs of batteries along the way before heading back toward Tampa. 

Tampa huffed out a laugh when he saw what Wooyoung had found, opening the backpack out towards him so Wooyoung could toss the items in. 

"More 'end of the world' music?" he teased and Wooyoung beamed at him. 

"You know it, baby," he teased back and Tampa rewarded him with his dimples. 

"We don't even know if the station will still work," Tampa said but he zipped up the backpack, handing it back to Wooyoung and motioning with his head for him to follow him out the store. 

Wooyoung shrugged and took his glasses off to clean them with the inside fabric of his hoodie before placing them back on his face.

"Not with that attitude! We have to see things as the cup half full, Tampa. Cup! Half! Full!"

"Yeah, yeah," Tampa waved him off, but he was already getting the radio back out, working on putting the batteries in as soon as they stepped back outside. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They'd only been walking for about an hour when Tampa finally got the radio to work— the music still coming from the same station. 

"Holy shit," Tampa murmured in disbelief and amazement as the music began to fill the air.

Wooyoung smiled widely, cackling and clapping his hands on Tampa's shoulders, letting them linger there as he leaned forward to take a look.

"How the hell are they still doing this?"

"Who cares!" Wooyoung laughed as he took the radio from Tampa's hands, turning up the volume even louder. "Let's just enjoy this small miracle!"

Tampa snorted and shook his head in amusement, but he started to dance along with Wooyoung as they kept making their way down the empty street.

On to the next town, the next city, the next state. 

Wooyoung wasn't exactly sure where they were at this point, but he trusted Tampa with his life and didn't think he'd be able to stop following him any time soon, even after making it to Canada. 

Tampa started to jokingly roll his body and thrust his hips exaggeratedly as he danced along to the music, really letting himself get into it as he giggled, and the next thing Wooyoung knew, he was tripping over his own feet, too distracted to have been watching where he was going.

He ended up falling on top of the radio and instantly crushing it, ultimately killing the music. 

"Owwww," he whined before whining again as he picked up what remained of the poor radio. "Noooo."

Tampa was laughing so hard that he fell down next to Wooyoung, leaning into his side and giggling so hard that tears were coming out the corners of his eyes. Wooyoung was pouting, he knew he was, and Tampa reached over to playfully cup at Wooyoung's cheek with a hand, scrunching his face even more before giggling harder and giving his cheek a small, endearing pat before pulling away.

Wooyoung wanted to whine again, but this time so he could get Tampa to touch him again.

He was about to do just that when Tampa reached behind Wooyoung to unzip the backpack again. He pulled out two more small portable radios. 

"You're so lucky I thought ahead and brought more than one with us."

Wooyoung's heart did a stupid little flip at that.

He should've probably felt at least a little embarrassed that he'd been so predictable, but he couldn't stop smiling as Tampa began to assemble the new radio. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Nighttime was still the worst fucking time. 

Especially now with the way the temperature continued to drop the higher north they traveled. It was -1 degrees at the moment (or 30, Tampa's insisted) and Wooyoung was wrapped in all the clothes he had. 

They were huddled up in another deserted car in the middle of god knew where— Tampa had told him they were still in Illinois, whatever that meant— and Wooyoung was trying his best to focus on anything else besides the way he could feel the way the cold burrowed itself into his bones. Tampa hadn't been able to get the car to start this time, something about the battery probably being dead, so they had decided to crash there for the night instead. 

The car had no top, it had been ripped off and thrown off somewhere to the side and Wooyoung didn't even want to imagine what had happened there. He shivered, this time not from the cold, and wrapped his hands around himself tighter. 

Tampa kept teasing him about being from Canada and not being able to withstand a little cold, but he was pressed up right next to Wooyoung's side, teeth chattering away, almost too loud for the music playing from the radio to be heard, so Wooyoung didn't really think he had any ground to stand on there.

It was adorable really. 

There was a soft song playing in the background and it was making Wooyoung feel a little sleepy, but he was too cold to actually let consciousness slip away.

He looked up at the sky instead and was instantly left awestruck by how many stars were visible in the clear night sky. The galaxy was graciously letting itself be seen, surrounding and enveloping them in a swirl of light and color, and Wooyoung suddenly felt so, so infinitesimal. 

He reached a hand out towards the sky, almost as if he could reach out and touch it, and couldn't help himself from tracing over the patterns of stars with his finger, trying to connect constellations he knew nothing about together, just simply taking it all in.

He let his hand fall back to his side, wrapping it around himself again when it got too cold. He let out a small breath and tipped his head back further against the seat, trying to decipher the secrets woven into the stardust and the feeling that had suddenly washed over him; a mixture of grief, astonishment, and the dull ache of longing. 

He turned his head to the side after a while, suddenly feeling eyes on him, and was surprised to find Tampa already staring back at him, his expression so soft and thoughtful that Wooyoung found himself unable to look away, finding this new view better than the sky above. 

From this close, Wooyoung could see the light freckles scattered delicately along the other's face and even down to his neck, faint but so pretty.

Wooyoung wanted to trace those over with his fingers too.  

"Remainders of a shooting star landed directly on our brown down little car... Before then we had made a wish that we would be missed if one or another just did not exist..." the guy in the song droned out passionately in the background.

Wooyoung had to turn his head away, feeling too much all at once and not knowing how to handle it all. It felt like he was on the precipice of something huge but all he could do was shut his eyes and look away in fear, not ready for the fall.

"San," Tampa suddenly whispered, so softly that it almost blended in with the music playing in the back.

Wooyoung wasn't sure if the other had actually spoken at all, but he turned his head to look at him anyway.

"That's... my name is San," he explained, a little louder this time, still looking into Wooyoung’s eyes. 

Wooyoung's heart did a funny little flip inside his chest as he continued to look at Tam— look at San, smiling softly at him, his dimples adding on to the things he wanted to trace over, skin glowing underneath the canopy of the stars and moon.

He didn't look real in that moment and Wooyoung didn't really feel real either. He searched San's eyes desperately, hoping to find something there to help keep him grounded, but he just felt himself slipping further into the warm, overwhelming rush of emotions and tenderness swirling inside. 

"'cause that's what we're waiting for, that's what we're waiting for, that's what we're waiting for, aren't we?" the guy's voice continued to croon in the background and Wooyoung let out a small breath.

He was too afraid to speak up and ruin this fragile moment. His brain just kept repeating San, San, San over and over again, and every time he blinked, he swore he could see the name etched into his eyelids. 

But San was still looking at him with that soft, unguarded look on his face, a small smile tugging at his lips, a little nervous but steadfast, and Wooyoung knew that he was waiting on him to finally say something too. 

"You're telling me I could have been calling you 'mountain' this entire time?" Wooyoung blurted out because he never thought before speaking, so of course why the hell would he have started now during such an important moment? 

San's eyebrows furrowed down and the small smile that'd been tugging at his lips was now set in a straight line.

Wooyoung's heart sank a little, sure that he had ruined the moment by opening his dumb mouth like always, but then San tipped his head back to laugh, melodic, warm, and sweet, and Wooyoung felt that little flip in his chest turn into summersaults. 

"I guess you could have," San giggled, finding the entire thing hilarious apparently, but Wooyoung couldn't help but smile back, relief instantly washing over him. 

The song came to an end and then another slower one started to play, fading into the night and drifting up into the sky for the stars to hear too. They stayed in comfortable silence like that for a while, listening to the music and looking up at the sky, watching the way the stars skittered around the blank canvas for what felt like an eternity, but also only a second. 

The song ended and then another one began and Wooyoung held his breath, finally mustering enough courage to inch his hand slowly over to San's slightly smaller one. His pinky brushed over San's hesitantly, and when San didn't move away, Wooyoung decided to take the plunge and settle his hand completely over San's. 

"'m cold," Wooyoung murmured into his scarf, not daring a glance at San just yet, and trying his hardest to keep his eyes fixated on the stars above.

It wasn't a lie, he was cold...

And touching San always seemed to warm him up. 

San's hand turned over, intertwining their fingers and squeezing gently, reassuringly. Wooyoung felt like his heart was about to jump out of his throat. 

"It's okay, I'm cold too," San murmured back and started to rub soothing little circles over Wooyoung's knuckles with his thumb.  

Wooyoung thought about how easy it would be to turn his head at that moment and kiss San.

How easy it would be to do so right there, underneath the safety of the moonlight, the universe, and the soft croon of music still continuing to play in the background, but he couldn't move.

Too scared to do anything else but simply remember to breathe in and out, in and out, like San had shown him countless times before. 

Another song started and then another, and another, and another, and they continued to stay like that, holding onto each other, joined together by their fingers wrapped around one another, and waiting for the universe to whisper something back to them. 

It wasn't until another song ended and one with melodies that tugged at his soul began to play that Wooyoung heard San's soft breathing slow down and get even quieter. Wooyoung took that moment to chance a look over at him, checking to make sure that he'd fallen asleep. 

His face was completely at peace and Wooyoung felt incredibly warm inside, feeling it spread across the rest of his body and swore that he could feel it seep out of him and touch everything else around him, too.

San's name became a constant, pleasant hum that echoed over and over inside his head. 

He fell asleep to the radio playing softly, the delicate melody and tone from the voice softly singing lulling him into the most comfortable sleep he'd had in a long, long time. 

"And I love too, that love soon. might end... be known in the shaking... lately, of my wasteland, baby..."

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Surprisingly, they hadn't been able to find another gun or similar weapon for Wooyoung to use throughout their journey together.

Wooyoung felt a little more than relieved and okay by that; he still wasn't sure he'd be able to shoot someone else, to take a life like that, zombie or not.

San had proven to be more than qualified for that part anyway. 

San still made him practice whenever they got a chance, though. 

"Just in case," he had explained when Wooyoung complained dramatically.

He didn't add 'in case I die', but it lingered loud and heavy in the air.

Wooyoung's sarcastic retort had died immediately on his tongue and he just bit his cheek and nodded. 

At the moment, they were still in the middle of nowhere; only a couple of miles away from where they had slept the night before. It was fucking freezing and windy, but Wooyoung hadn't complained once. He swore he could still feel the warmth from the night before lingering and clinging onto him. 

San had lined up empty soda bottles that they found while walking, on top of a beat-down brick wall and made Wooyoung stand about ten feet away.

His hands were gentle on him as he guided Wooyoung's arms into place and showed him how to take off the safety lock and load it. San showed him how to change the magazine that held the ammo, and how to snap it back into place to reload it before starting to shoot. 

Wooyoung missed the first couple of shots, but San was nothing if not patient and kind. He placed a warm hand on Wooyoung's back, leaning in like he was whispering a secret, and telling him to move his aim just a 'littttleee bit more to the- yeah right there!'

Wooyoung only managed to knock down one bottle and he pouted, but quickly started cackling when San placed his hands on his shoulders, jostling Wooyoung around and cheering him on as if he had managed to shoot all the bottles down, before pulling away to go set another bottle up in it the now empty spot.

Wooyoung already missed the warmth from his hands on him, desperately wanting it back. 

Wooyoung managed to shoot down three bottles after that first attempt and San's cheers grew even louder, along with the pitch and volume of Wooyoung's laughs.  

"You're a natural, Canada! Now let's see you knock them all down!"

Wooyoung watched quietly as he caught his breath from all the adrenaline and excitement as San moved to place more bottles on top of the wall, carefully placing them evenly apart and for the millionth time, Wooyoung couldn't help but wonder how the hell the other had learned to do all this.  

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"Wooyoung," he blurted out later on that same day.

They'd managed to walk a couple more miles and had made it to a small town where they were now resting at, sitting in the middle of the chip aisle with their backs pressed up against the shelves and their thighs pressed against each other. 

San, who had been in the middle of eating some Doritos, stopped mid-chew to give Wooyoung a confused look. He swallowed before answering. 

"What?"

Wooyoung felt his face heat up and he reached over to steal a chip from San's bag to give himself something to do. 

"That's- uhm, Wooyoung. That's me," he pointed to himself in case he wasn't being clear enough. "My name is Wooyoung." 

San's eyes lit up with barely restrained amusement and a touch of fondness that left him feeling even warmer than he had been before. San nudged his knee against Wooyoung's before stealing some of his chips too. 

"So, Wooyoung, hmm?" San hummed happily. "I like it. It's pretty and nice. It suits you perfectly."

Wooyoung felt heat rush to his cheeks and he shoved more Funyuns into his mouth to distract himself, but San seemed to be vibrating with excitement and unable to stop. 

"Can I call you Wooyoungie? Wooyoung-ah? Oh my god, can I call you Young-ah? Please, please?" San begged and he was so cute, so genuinely excited to have learned this bit of information that Wooyoung couldn't help but nod back dumbly, still too dazed by San's happiness to give a proper response.

He liked how his name sounded on San's tongue, in anyway that he decided to say it. 

San giggled again and continued to say Wooyoung's name out loud a few more times,  as if testing it out, seeming to like the way it sounded coming from him as well.  

Wooyoung sort of, maybe, and really desperately wanted to kiss him until he couldn’t breathe.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. 

They came across a tiny cat roaming around the empty streets, digging through the trash for scraps in Minnesota. 

"Awe, no, poor baby," San murmured sadly and started making his way over carefully.

Wooyoung didn't think it was a good idea, but he followed anyway because following San had just become second nature at this point.  

The cat's tail puffed up in fear and its little head lifted at the sound of their footsteps as they got closer. It started to back up nervously, but still, it hadn't run off so San continued his path over, slowing down enough to not startle it more.

"Hi, kitty," San called out softly, cooing at it as he handed his plushie over to Wooyoung, who took it without a second thought.

He set his rifle down on the ground as well and, oh so carefully, held his hand out, and palm up as he made his way even closer.

The cat continued to back up, its eyes darting between San moving towards it and Wooyoung standing a couple of feet back. With his other hand, San dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of a half-eaten Slim Jim he'd been saving from earlier in the day.

"Are you hungry, little baby?"

The cat's ears perked up at the sight and smell of the food and it stopped backing away, standing in place and seeming wary of whether to trust them or not.

San kept the piece of Slim Jim in the palm of his hand and lowered himself to his knees, offering up the food and patiently waiting for it to make its choice. San's head tilted to the side cutely as his big eyes seemed to plead for the cat to trust him. It was an adorable interaction. It felt like he was watching two kittens trying to communicate with each other. 

The cat cautiously began to move forward, sniffing a little and San smiled and beckoned him forward, murmuring soft reassurances that he wouldn't hurt it, as if the cat could actually understand him.

Sure, the cat was cute, but it was San’s cheeks Wooyoung wanted to coo and squish together so badly. 

Eventually, the cat's hunger seemed to beat out its fear and it padded forward to take the little piece of meat from San's hand, chowing it down quickly and looking back at San expectantly, purring loudly now. San giggled and pulled out another little piece, setting it on his palm again for the cat to take. 

This time, San reached his hand out to gently scratch between the cat's ears as it ate. The purring intensified and it relaxed into San's touch immediately, seeming to have fallen for his charms just as fast as Wooyoung had. San gave it another piece as soon as it finished again and the cat rubbed its head against San's hand in thanks. 

"Poor baby, you were so hungry weren't you?" San cooed warmly as he trailed his hand down the cat's back as it continued to rub itself across his legs now. "Eat all you want, kitty, I have more for you so don't worry."

San had the small cat curled up in his arms by the time the Slim Jim was all gone. He continued to stroke its fur gently as he cooed at it.

Wooyoung had finally decided to sit down next to him and tentatively reached out to scratch behind its little ears, letting out a small awed breath when the cat purred and leaned into his touch as well.

"Her collar says Byeol," San murmured as he continued to coo at the tiny animal in his arms. He had a small, pleased smile on his face and Wooyoung knew that there was no way the cat wouldn't be joining them the rest of the way to Canada. 

"Byeol," Wooyoung repeated and the cat turned its— her— attention back towards him at the sound of her name. "Okay," Wooyoung nodded and leaned against San as he scratched under Byeol's chin. "We'll take care of you, Byeolie."

"Yeah?" San turned to look at him, his eyes turning into crescent moons as his dimples made an appearance too, a little breathless giggle escaping along with the question. 

Wooyoung looked down at the tiny cat curled up against San's chest. She yawned widely and then rested her head more comfortably into the other's chest, falling asleep immediately, and... yeah, there was no way he was going to let this adorable little animal be left behind. 

"Yeah," Wooyoung looked up at San and smiled back, instantly feeling that usual warmth spreading through him. 

San was looking at him so fondly, eyes so soft and warm and shining so fucking brightly that they were shimmering in the sunlight, Wooyoung even give it a second thought as he brought his hands up to cup San's face gently to finally, finally, lean in and kiss him like he'd been wanting to do for so long now.

His lips were even softer than Wooyoung had imagined as they pressed against his, and he couldn't help but press forward even more. 

San made a pleased little sound in the back of his throat and melted into it, his hands reaching up to grip the front of Wooyoung's hoodie, pulling him even closer as their lips moved together, another soft sound escaping his lips. Wooyoung felt like he was on fire, burning in the best fucking way imaginable.

They broke apart a little while after, their breaths mingling together as they came out in short pants between them, their foreheads resting together. San was grinning and giggling at him like stupid and Wooyoung knew his expressions must've mirrored his exactly.

Wooyoung leaned forward and pressed another kiss against San's lips, unable to stop himself now that he could.

Because he already had and San had let him, and continued to let him. 

"Yeah?" San breathed out tentatively.

Wooyoung nodded, breathing out his own little yeah in response. San pulled back slightly to search his face. Wooyoung just slowly blinked back at him, smiling dopily and unable to hide the pure adoration and tenderness he felt for his Sannie.

San must have found what he was looking for because his smile grew even bigger, a little shy, and he nodded. He brought Wooyoung in for another kiss, slower this time, and Wooyoung just let himself fall right into it, trusting San to catch him.

Always trusting San.

"Okay," Wooyoung gasped when they broke apart again. "Yeah, definitely I'd-Die-For-These-Funyuns worthy."

San threw his head back to laugh with a soft god, you're so dumb, bubbling out of his mouth and Wooyoung simply leaned in to press a gentle kiss to the column of San's throat, sealing the moment and their emotions with a promise. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

The nightmares hadn't been occurring as constantly, but they still happened.

Maybe even more gruesome than they had before, and they left Wooyoung with the taste of bile rising up in his throat as he sat up, gasping and clawing at his chest as he tried to get the non-existent zombies off him. 

The nightmares hadn't been as constant, but they'd definitely gotten worse.

They were now filled with images of his family being torn apart by the monsters that had taken over. Their faces alternated between each family member and then switched to flicker between Seonghwa and Yeosang. In each one of them, Wooyoung had been off to the side, too terrified to do anything, too scared to save them.

It felt like he was always fucking afraid. 

San would still always be awake each time Wooyoung woke up like that. The only difference was that now he had Byeol cradled against his chest to keep him company instead of Shiber.

Said plushie was now clutched against Wooyoung's chest, San's scent on it always calming him down. San had let Wooyoung sleep and cuddle with it now that they had Byeol, but it still felt like a huge show of trust being given to him. He still didn't know the backstory, but he could see how important of an item it was to San, so for him to let Wooyoung be the one to carry it around now left Wooyoung filled with so much warmth. 

San moved closer and Byeol, seeming to have also sensed Wooyoung'd distress, meowed softly as she hopped out of San’s arms, padding over to rub against Wooyoung’s legs and hands.

San sat next to him, telling him to breathe, that he was okay, that he was fine because you're right here with me, and we're both alive, I promise, I promise, Young-ah.

Wooyoung didn’t believe him until San slipped closer, reaching out to hold Wooyoung's hand, carefully at first as if to not freak him out, and then more confidently when Wooyoung didn't move away, lacing their fingers together and pulling him into his side to hold him closer.  

Wooyoung fell asleep like that most nights now, clinging onto San just as tightly as he did with the well-loved plushie, and holding onto San's hand like it was his only lifeline. 

And at that point, it probably was. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

San traded Wooyoung his gun and plushie for the backpack as they walked the next day.

Before Wooyoung could ask why, San was zipping open the top and fixed a small blanket that they'd found in a car, inside of the backpack so that he could comfortably place Byeol inside. 

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me," Wooyoung breathed out. "Was carrying her all the time not spoiling her enough? Was it getting too boring for you?"

"She's tired," San pouted and batted his eyes at Wooyoung pleadingly.

Wooyoung groaned internally. San was so unfair, he couldn't use his cuteness like that, Wooyoung fell for it every time. Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at him childishly and San beamed, sticking his own out in retaliation, knowing he’d won.

He zipped the backpack back up but left it open just enough for Byeol to be able to poke her head out safely without falling out or choking.

San carefully situated the backpack over his shoulders, adjusting it in a way that would leave Byeol most comfortable. Seeing San with something other than his gun behind his back, or with his plushie not being clung to between his chest was always a little funny.

He always looked... so much more vulnerable, tinier, and like someone Wooyoung would do anything to protect.

San took the water bottle in his hand and took a swig before pouring some into the cap and holding it behind his shoulder for Byeol to drink too. Byeol sniffed it before quickly lapping at it and San giggled, continuing to serve Byeol more water until she didn't drink any more. 

"Are you doing good back there, my pretty baby?" San cooed and scratched under her chin, her content purrs filling the air. 

"God, she already has you so fucking whipped," Wooyoung laughed and nudged San with his elbow. 

"Yeah, she really does," San beamed at him, totally unashamed as he said it, and Wooyoung felt a funny rush of adoration run through him.

He reached over to kiss San, but Byeol let out a small, territorial-sounding hiss that had Wooyoung jumping back in surprise. Byeol never hissed at them. 

"What the fuck?!"

But San was laughing too hard to hear him.

"Byeolie! You can't hog him all to yourself! He's mine too, you know!"

The tiny cat let out another small, indignant hiss, and Wooyoung barely stopped himself from hissing back. 

San was still laughing, wiping at his eyes as he reached into his hoodie to pull out a Slim Jim. They'd been Byeol's favorite, more so than any cat food they'd had her try since they'd found her. 

"She's just a little snippy because she's hungry, Young-ah," San teased and he broke off a piece of the meat to give to Byeol, who went back to purring as soon as she started eating. "Yeah, exactly, there you go my sweet little baby," he cooed and gave Byeol another piece. 

"Unbelievable," Wooyoung muttered.

San's smile just grew wider before he pulled Wooyoung in for a kiss this time, his lips soft but insistent against his, and Wooyoung immediately melted into it, realizing that he was the one who was more than whipped. 

Byeol didn't hiss at him that time, her pleasant purrs continuing to fill the cool air.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They were in the backseat of the car, making out as the music continued to play from the small radio.

Wooyoung was rocking down onto San's lap a little desperately, feeling like he couldn't get close enough to the man below him.

Byeol was currently snuggled up with Shiber in the driver's seat. San had placed them there, jokingly stating that he didn't want to corrupt Byeol's innocent mind, and Wooyoung could tell that the other was being a hundred percent serious. Wooyoung just rolled his eyes fondly and laughed giddily as he brought San back in to kiss him. 

"Young-ah, baby, slow down," San muttered lowly against Wooyoung's lips and it sent heat straight to Wooyoung's gut, making him whine and grind down harder.

San groaned softly and reached down to hold onto Wooyoung's waist, holding his hips steady and slowing him down, making Wooyoung whine pathetically in protest.

He needed to feel San under him, needed to taste him and feel him closer in some way or form, so he ducked his head down to suck at the other's neck instead, living for the sweet noises San made under him. 

"Sannie, please," Wooyoung whined lowly and tried to rock down again, trying so hard to find more of that delicious friction he really needed at the moment. 

"I got you, Wooyoungie, calm down," San murmured lowly as he slipped his warmed-up hand— oh, was that what he'd been busy doing?— into Wooyoung's unbuttoned jeans, wrapping his hand around Wooyoung's half hard cock loosely. San’s hands were still a little cold despite his attempt at warming it up, and Wooyoung shivered, his hips jerking involuntarily into the loose fist around him. 

"Your hand is still so fucking cold, asshole," Wooyoung pouted as he continued to move against him anyway.

San's hand gripped him a little tighter, causing Wooyoung to gasp but then whine sadly when San completely let go. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll stop touching your dick now," San teased, a mocking lilt to his tone and it made Wooyoung shiver again. God, his Sannie was just so hot.

San went to take his hand out of Wooyoung's pants, but Wooyoung's hand immediately shot down, gripping the other's wrist tightly to keep him in place. 

"Don't you fucking dare!" Wooyoung practically hissed, his body still trying to get as much contact as it could from the beautiful man below him. 

San threw his head back to laugh and Wooyoung took the opportunity to lean down again to suck and bite at the exposed skin, teeth grazing over his Adam's apple, featherlight, before licking over it soothingly and making his way back up to mouth at San's jaw, then making his way back over to his mouth to kiss him sloppily.

His tongue slipped past the other's lips to lick into the warm heat, running his tongue over San’s teeth and to the roof of his mouth. San moaned wantonly, letting Wooyoung take control of the kiss as he moved his hand to wrap around Wooyoung's cock again, tighter this time, pumping slowly and purposefully.

Wooyoung pulled back from their kiss and dropped his head down to rest against San's shoulder, panting into it softly as he rocked his hips down into San's lap, down onto the hardness he could feel and into the tight fist he had around him. 

God, he felt so fucking close already. Just a little more pressure and—

"Oh, my god," San exclaimed suddenly. "Young-ah, I love this song!”

He shifted a little, moving a hand past Wooyoung with his free hand to reach for the radio to turn it up louder, the grip he had on Wooyoung's cock loosening again. 

Wooyoung wanted to scream.

"San-ah," Wooyoung let out an embarrassing little cry as he continued to try and thrust into San's loose grip despondently, trying to reach his peak again. He had been so close. Fuck. 

"Think of me when you're out when you're out there..." the woman sang, and San mouthed the words dramatically back to Wooyoung. 

Wooyoung began to rock his hips down with purpose, whining as he did so and trying to arch closer. San just smirked and kept mouthing the words to the song up at him, stilling his hips again.

Wooyoung was about to tell him off, he loved how playful San was, he really did, but he just wanted, no, NEEDED, to get off. Like, right now.

When San's grip finally, finally, tightened again and began to jerk Wooyoung off in earnest, he moaned out loudly and lewdly, rolling his hips down against San's even more desperately. 

"I'll beg you nice from my knees..." San sang along, his voice low and gravelly-sounding as he pressed the words into the spot just below Wooyoung's ear, sending a wave of heat rushing down and twisting his gut in the most delicious, toe-curling way.

San always had such a nice voice, but right now, it was driving Wooyoung closer to the edge and he wanted to hear more. 

"Don't know it," Wooyoung gasped out when San moved to suck on his neck.

San’s thumb chose that same moment to rub at the head before moving to press into the slit before dragging back down again. Wooyoung let out a strangled, choked-off little noise as San repeated the motion, his fingernail tracing over the head on every other stroke ever so lightly. 

San's movements didn't stop or slow down, but he did lift his head back up to shoot him a surprised look that was much too adorable and innocent for the current position they were in. 

"Wooyoungie, you don't know this song?"

Wooyoung shook his head, gripping San's shoulder tightly as he felt himself getting closer, feeling the vibration of San's voice through his words where their chests were pressed together.

“You don't know Paramore? Hayley Williams?"

Wooyoung shook his head again, groaning as San's grip tightened before loosening again. Wooyoung was going to cry, he really was.

"Oh my god," San said, sounding betrayed as if he were the one currently being edged so that they could discuss their favorite artists.

But his hand sped up again, stroking Wooyoung over as he started going off on a tangent on how he couldn't believe Wooyoung didn't know one of the best songs ever written, oh my god…

His hand on Wooyoung's cock sped up, and then slowed down, and then sped up again before he stopped as he continued on his mini-rant passionately. 

"Ohmygod, please stop talking," Wooyooung pleaded but then quickly shook his head, taking his words back as he processed them. "Actually, ignore that. Keep talking, you sound so fucking hot, just, god, please, don't stop what you're doing with your hands, Sannie, please. 'm so close..."

He felt more than actually heard San's laugh against him and Wooyoung leaned in closer, reveling in it. It was such a nice feeling. 

"Yeah? My pretty Wooyoungie is close?" San murmured deeply and Wooyoung nodded, blinking dazedly at him before hiding his face back in San's neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses all over and relishing in the moan that drew out of San.

He wanted to hear more and more of the lovely sounds his Sannie made. 

"C'mon then," San whispered.

He quickened his strokes, leaning over to murmur nonsense into Wooyoung's ear, grazing his teeth over the shell of it as he praised Wooyoung, telling him how pretty and fucked out he already looked. Wooyoung cried out when San bit down on his earlobe, tugging on it before soothingly sucking on it.

"Wanna see how bad you wanna come, baby," San nipped at his ear again before slipping his free hand up to Wooyoung's mouth.

San pressed two fingers against Wooyoung’s bottom lip and he automatically opened his mouth, happily taking the fingers in and groaning around them, running his tongue around the digits.

"Yeah, there you go, Wooyoungie. So pretty with my fingers in your mouth… get them nice and wet for me, yeah?" San said. His voice was so low and husky and hot, Wooyoung could only moan and do as he was told, licking and sucking on them as if his life depended on it. "So pretty, look at you," San continued to murmur appreciatively and then pulled his fingers out.

A long line of spit stayed connected from Wooyoung's bottom lip to San's spit-soaked fingers as he pulled them out, causing San to curse and moan lowly, leaning in to lick into Wooyoung's mouth.

Wooyoung could only whimper and continue to let San work him over. He felt the other's wet fingers slip down inside the back of his pants, and Wooyoung didn’t even care about the cold as San's other hand continued to work over his weeping cock over. San’s lips stayed glued to his as he moved his fingers to circle his entrance. Wooyoung’s whines raised even higher in pitch and volume, and he held onto San’s broad shoulders tightly as he pushed back onto San’s fingers.

He had only just begun to feel them pushing in just slightly when—

Wooyoung came apart completely, moaning out San's name over and over, and arching his back to keep pushing back to meet San's fingers and thrusting forward into San's tight fist around him.

San stroked him through it, murmuring soft encouragements and sweet praises as Wooyoung came down; the sweet, melodic voice of the woman now passionately belting out the song that still played on the radio. 

"All I wanted was you... all I wanted was you..." she sang over and over again, and Wooyoung couldn't help but agree with the sentiment.

He looked down at San's face, who was looking up at him in awe as if he'd witnessed some type of miracle and not just Wooyoung coming in his pants and all over the other’s hand. 

Wooyoung whined softly one last time before slumping forward to bury his face in San's neck, feeling absolutely content and a little sleepy now. And he could've totally fallen asleep in that position too, but then San carefully shifted them to make Wooyoung more comfortable as the song came to a finish, and Wooyoung dazedly remembered that San hadn't gotten off yet as he felt his hard cock still pressed under him.

San protested when Wooyoung lazily slid out of his hold, making his way down to sink onto the floor, insisting that Wooyoung didn't need to do anything if he was feeling tired, but Wooyoung ignored him as he settled down in between his legs. 

"Open your legs wider for me, yeah, Sannie?" he asked sweetly as he ran his hands up and down the other's thighs appreciatively.

San bit his lip and did as he was told, and Wooyoung licked his lips in anticipation. He reached up to open San’s jeans and giggled as San helped him shimmy them down to his knees.

San hissed at the cold hitting his exposed skin and Wooyoung looked up at him through his lashes, smirking and hoping San understood his I told you it was fucking cold look before bringing his mouth down to wrap around San's tip, sucking gently before pulling off to press open-mouthed kisses along the length as he made his way down San's cock, down to the base before making his way back up, swirling his tongue around the head before taking him all the way down. 

San whimpered, a choked-off moan coming out as well and his fingers reached down to tangle in Wooyoung's hair, gripping it and pulling on it gently. Wooyoung groaned at the feeling and encouraged him to continue, to tub harder if he wanted.

San always made him feel so good. Wooyoung wanted his Sannie to feel just as good too. 

He wasn't too hung up on technique like the other couple of times they'd managed to fool around like this. Wooyoung knew San was already close anyway, so he just sucked harder, bobbing his head up and down and letting his hands roam up to expose San's stomach and chest.

He reached up to tug at the pebbled nubs on San’s pecs, feeling like he was on a different kind of high with the low, broken sound it drew from San. Wooyoung kept bobbing his head in an almost reverence as he let his fingernails rake gently down San’s chest and down to his belly, loving how he was able to feel the muscles twitch and jump under his touch. He moved to grab at San’s tiny waist tightly, probably leaving bruises, as he hollowed his cheeks out, moaning at the sinful sight in front of him, all his. 

San was panting above him, eyes half-lidded and hazy, sounding and looking so wrecked just from Wooyoung's mouth on him. Wooyoung wanted to hear more, wanted to keep making the other feel good.

He was just so greedy when it came to San.

He slowed down, wanting to take his time and really enjoy it, absolutely entranced with the weight of San on his tongue, the taste of him, with the way San stretched his mouth so, so right.

"Woo- ah, I, fuck just like that, baby... please, feels s'fucking good, Youngie," San whimpered. His fingers tugged at Wooyoung's hair harder, this time in in warning as he tried to lift Wooyoung off him, but Wooyoung determinedly stayed in place.

He wanted San to come in his mouth, to come down his throat, inside him always and forever if he could, marking him as his and only his.

San let out one last strangled little Wooyoungie before cutting off into a long, keening moan as he spilled into Wooyoung's mouth, arching up and pressing Wooyoung down to take more of his cock as he came.

Wooyoung moaned around him as he swallowed it all, continuing to suck hungrily, as if he could get more out of the other man. San whined weakly after a bit, probably feeling oversensitive but Wooyoung just couldn't get enough. He continued to lap at San’s cock until San gave his hair another soft tug, whimpering sweetly.

Wooyoung pulled off and let his head rest against San's hip as they both got their breathing back to normal. 

"You're so good to me, my pretty Wooyoungie," San murmured after a couple of minutes. He still sounded out of breath and Wooyoung nuzzled against San's navel, placing a lingering and loving kiss there as he carefully helped San slip back into his clothes.

"So, so good," San repeated and pulled Wooyoung up for an open-mouthed kiss, licking into his mouth hungrily and causing them both to moan softly. 

Wooyoung groaned and reluctantly pulled away after a few more seconds, exhaustion suddenly hitting him tenfold and making his eyelids feel like they weighed a thousand pounds.

He rolled over onto the seat to make himself more comfortable and pressed up tightly against San's side, clinging onto him tightly as he laid his head on his shoulder. 

"I'm gonna need new pants again," Wooyoung pouted and San started giggling.

He turned to press a kiss to the side of Wooyoung's head before he pulled him in even closer, promising to find a store with clothes as soon as possible and that he could wear San's in the meantime if he wanted.

Wooyoung felt adoration encompass his whole being as he got more comfortable, laying his head on San's chest now. San was the one who was always so good to him. He didn't know what good deed he must’ve done in a past live to have come across such a beautiful and kind person amid the crumbling wreckage of the world around them. 

Wooyoung fell asleep to the easy rhythm of San's heart; steady, strong, and alive. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

San was in love with his baby Byeolie and absolutely wrapped around her paw.

It was disgustingly cute. 

Wooyoung loved it. 

They found another thrift store in the next town over just like San had promised and he spent more time searching through the entire store for something small enough to fit Byeol than he spent on searching for clothes for himself. 

"If we're cold, she's freezing too, Young-ah," San pouted as he explained and helped Byeol into a tiny cat sweater he had somehow managed to find at the bottom of a clearance pile.

He scratched behind that cat's ears fondly after he finished putting it on her and pulled the hoodie up over her head. San let out a dramatic sob as he picked Byeol up and cooed at her about how precious and adorable she looked. Byeol meowed back happily in response. 

"Tell me she isn't the sweetest thing you've ever seen, Wooyoungie," San sniffled and dangled Byeol in his direction to emphasize his point.

Wooyoung rolled his eyes fondly,  reaching out to scratch under Byeol's chin and causing her to start purring loudly. 

"Yeah, okay, I guess she looks somewhat adorable," Wooyoung conceded and San beamed. 

He hugged Byeol close to his chest, cradling her gently as he gave her more compliments and promised to find more clothing to keep her warm and cozy before he sat them down on top of a couple of blankets Wooyoung managed to find. 

San fell asleep like that, cuddled up with Byeol on his chest, looking soft and vulnerable in the way he only allowed himself to be during sleep.

Wooyoung threw a blanket that he had found in the bedding section over the both of them carefully, his own words from a few days ago repeating themselves to him now:

God, you are so fucking whipped. 

He spent the rest of the night looking for more warm clothes and things for Byeol, stuffing them into the backpack before moving on to pick out some more warm clothes for San too.

San slept peacefully the whole night, not even stirring once as Wooyoung cuddled up next to him. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"This is kind of ironic, isn't it?" Wooyoung asked quietly.

They had found an old mattress store to spend the night in North Dakota. San said that they should finally be making it to Canada by the next afternoon. 

Well, at least to Saskatchewan, so they still had a while to go before they made it to Alberta, but they were close and Wooyoung couldn't believe it. 

Byeol was curled up somewhere along the floor with Shiber, bundled up in the millions of blankets they tucked her in. 

"What is?" San asked sleepily, his finger trailing up and down Wooyoung's arm in easy, soft touches. 

"Us," Wooyoung said and he felt San's finger stop in its pattern and Wooyoung panicked as he raced to explain himself.

“Not, like, us together— well, okay, yeah that's part of it, but no, not in that way," Wooyoung rushed again to explain when San shot him a confused look, his head tilting adorably. "Well, okay, maybe in that way too-"

"Young-ah, what are you talking about?" San questioned, his tone laced with amusement now. 

Wooyoung huffed out a breath, frustrated with himself now. 

"I just mean... it's a little funny that this is basically the end of the world and we could've helped, I don't know… repopulate, I guess? But here we are with each other, together, so there goes any plans of that, so..." Wooyoung trailed off, realizing then how ridiculous that thought had sounded out loud and San just continued to blink in confusion. 

"Your first thought after we just finished having sex is 'Wow, too bad we can't save the world because we like it up the ass'?" San asked slowly and genuinely after a beat of silence.  

Wooyoung felt his face heat up and he looked anway and shrugged.

"I mean, I wouldn't say it like that, but..."

San burst into giggles and Wooyoung couldn't help but laugh along with him. 

San spoke up again after calming down a little, nudging Wooyoung in the side before teasing him. 

"I mean, if you really wanna save the world and you're into watching each other fuck other people-"

"God, you're the fucking worst," Wooyoung stopped him, clinging onto him tighter, whispering you're mine, no one else gets to have you now into San’s neck, and refusing to let him go.

San just laughed softly, pulling him in even closer and kissing him warmly. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Surprisingly, another person was already at the little convenience store they intended on camping up at.

They'd been out for a walk to see what else had been around, but when they had found nothing else, they made their way back to the store. 

Wooyoung was complaining about the cold again, bitching to his heart's content because San never seemed to actually mind.

Instead, he was giggling along as he listened to Wooyoung's nonsensical rant, but it immediately died down as he pushed the doors open. He held a hand out to Wooyoung's chest to stop him from walking any further, gently pushing Wooyoung behind him. He slung the gun into his hands and pointed it toward the bleeding teenager on the floor. 

The kid's eyes were bloodshot. Blood was smeared all over his clothes and his face, and he was covering a bleeding wound on his side.

Wooyoung's stomach clenched at the sight of the dark red spilling over his hands and onto the floor. The room smelled so much like death and copper. It made him feel nauseous. 

San still had the gun pointed toward the kid when he spoke. 

"What happened?" San asked slowly, moving closer and Wooyoung wanted to reach out and yank him back.

Byeol started to hiss lowly behind him, safely tucked inside the backpack as Wooyoung carried Shiber. He reached behind himself to pat her head reassuringly, understanding the sentiment completely. 

The kid's breaths were coming out harsh and ragged as tears streamed down his face like waterfalls. 

"I was... I was with my sister and then," the kid hiccuped and reached to wipe harshly at the tears pouring from his eyes. "Th-they came out of nowhere... She couldn't get away and then, I... This was the only place I could find. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," the kid repeated over and over. 

Wooyoung and San hesitated before San slowly crouched down next to the kid, slinging the gun off and placing it on the ground next to him. Wooyoung immediately stepped forward to be next to them, watching warily and ready just in case something went wrong. 

"Can I see?" San asked softly, pointing towards the wound that the kid was still trying to cover. The kid shook his head at first, but San tried again. "Hey, hey, it's okay. We're not going to hurt you. I just want to see if there's something we can do to help."

"There's nothing you can do for me now," the kid answered brokenly and Wooyoung stepped back a little, breath quickening when the kid removed his hand to reveal the deep bite in his thigh.

A chunk of his skin had been ripped out, but the teeth marks around it were completely distinguishable and immediately recognizable. 

The kid choked back a sob and looked into San's eyes, then to Wooyoung's, sending them a pleading look; asking for answers Wooyoung couldn't give and a miracle he couldn't make occur. 

"Hey, it's okay," San tried again, continuing to try his best to soothe the kid down, but this just caused the kid to break down even more and San's voice started to waver. 

"Please," the kid begged again. He grabbed San's arm and shook it desperately.

"Please, shoot me." 

San didn't say anything. He looked absolutely terrified and broken, a look that Wooyoung had never seen on him before and Wooyoung felt like he got punched in the gut. 

It felt like the whole room stopped breathing altogether, or maybe that was just Wooyoung, but San still hadn't responded. He just kept searching the kid's face, shaking his head slowly. 

"I... I..." San stammered, but his breaths began to come out faster and he shook his head again, grabbing at the kid's shoulders. "No, we can- we'll find another way. There has to be something we can do to help. We can still save you!"

The kid shook his head, already knowing that there was nothing that could to be done for him.

Wooyoung didn't think he would ever have that much unwavering bravery and strength.

"Please," he whispered again, this time looking over at Wooyoung and meeting his eyes. "Please, I- I don't want to turn into one of them," he choked out. 

San seemed to be frozen in place. He was still holding onto the kid's shoulder tightly, but all the color had drained from his face. He looked like he was far away, not even in the moment with them anymore, like all the nights he'd woken up to find him staring off a million miles away. 

The kid was still looking at Wooyoung, pleading with his eyes and Wooyoung couldn't look away. 

He didn't want to do this. He would rather be doing anything else BUT this, but... he knew that the kid was right. He had seen up close, personal, and firsthand what terrible things zombies were capable of.

There was nothing they could do to help him, but this small grace. A last, fucked up little wish they could help the kid with. 

Wooyoung slung his backpack off, careful not to jostle Byeol too much, and set it down gingerly next to the opening of the store. Wooyoung placed Shiber next to her, petting her tenderly before taking a deep breath and turning back to pick up the gun that was still on the ground next to San. 

Wooyoung froze and almost set the gun back down again, but the kid was still looking at him— images of zombies ripping apart his friends and countless more innocent people flooded his mind and he didn't want this kid to suffer the same fate as them. Didn't want him to become a monster like that. 

San was still frozen. His breaths weren't coming out as fast as before, but his chest was rising and falling heavily as he continued to look into the kid's face, pleading right back in his own way. The kid looked back at him, smiling softly and reassuring San that it was better this way, that he was thankful that San was willing to try and do more but they both knew that this was it. 

He turned around to look at Wooyoung. He smiled tearfully, nodding once, giving San's hand one last squeeze and whispering a sincere thank you before closing his eyes. 

Wooyoung emptied out his stomach as soon as the bullet went through the kid's head. Byeol was mewling as if she were in pain too, but it all sounded too far away. The smell of blood grew even heavier in the air and Wooyoung had nothing more in his stomach, but he kept dry heaving, wishing he could empty out every bad feeling and thought that swirled inside him. 

He heard the door open and close and Wooyoung turned around to see San had already gone outside. His gun, Shiber, and Byeol gone with him.

Wooyoung dry heaved a couple more times and averted his gaze from where he knew the kid's body lay as he rushed out to follow after San quickly.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They didn't talk about what happened, but there was an obvious shift between them. 

There was a tension that hung heavily in the air, and Wooyoung didn't know what to do to cut through it.

San hadn't looked him in the eyes since they walked out of the store, hadn't touched him once, and only talked to him when necessary. 

Wooyoung didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say to fix it, didn't know how to bring San back to him, so... he didn't do anything— too afraid of making things worse. 

It went on like that for a couple more days. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Wooyoung finally broke the silence when it became too loud for him to handle. 

They were walking down the middle of a cracked road, the buildings of the next town visible from where they were. 

San had flinched away from Wooyoung when he accidentally bumped into him and that was the last straw for Wooyoung. 

"Alright San-ah, what the fuck is going on?" 

San didn't answer him, just kept looking ahead as he walked.

They continued to walk in silence for a couple more minutes and Wooyoung was about to ask his question again, hellbent on not getting ignored, when San finally spoke up. 

"They used to be people, too," San said, voice wavering slightly.

He had that look in his eyes, the one he always got after killing a zombie— looking torn and empty and filled with guilt even though he wasn't the one who pulled the trigger that day in the store. His face was a mixture of fear, hurt, and anger. It scared Wooyoung a little if he was being honest. He sure as hell would never want to be on the receiving end of that look. 

But Wooyoung was thrown off by San's response.

He didn't understand what exactly San meant with what he had just said, but he just nodded slowly, because what the hell else could he say?

San huffed out a laugh but it lacked the usual warmth and comfort that his laughs always carried. San stopped walking and turned to face Wooyoung with a look of dissatisfaction.

Wooyoung fiddled with his glasses nervously, shifting his weight on his feet as if he were preparing for something. 

"What? Do I have something on my face again?" he tried to joke, but it fell short. He dropped his gaze to the ground, feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable with the look San was sending his way. 

"You don't fucking get it, do you? We could've done something to help him," San was smiling now but it was biting and sharp and so, so unfamiliar on his pretty features. 

Wooyoung turned his head to look at him and frowned back, suddenly annoyed with San's attitude and accusations when Wooyoung hadn't even done anything wrong to warrant this reaction.

"What the fuck, San? Do you think I wanted to shoot that poor kid's brains out?" He clenched his teeth at the memory, bile rising in his throat again but he pushed it away as he jabbed a finger in San's chest. "What am I not getting, exactly? There was nothing else that we could've done to help him!"

San scoffed again and shook his head.

"Fucking bullshit. That's some fucking bullshit right there, Wooyoung. You didn't even give it a chance. We could've found something to help him if we'd just-"

Wooyoong threw his hands up, his voice raising in volume.

"If we'd just what, San? Tried? Wished for it really fucking hard and wait to see if it came true? Do you think that's how things around here have been fucking working? That you just wish for something hard enough and it comes true? He begged me to shoot him, San. He didn't want to turn into one of those fucking monsters!" 

San opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but stopped himself at the last second. He turned his face up to look at the sky instead, chuckling in disbelief as if Wooyoung was being the unreasonable one here. 

"What?" Wooyoung snapped.

San shook his head again, running his tongue over his teeth. "Nothing. Let's just fucking forget about this and-"

"No, what the fuck were you going to say?" Wooyoung pressed on, jabbing his finger into San's chest again, managing to shove him back a little with the force of it. "Say it."

San stumbled but caught himself from moving back more. He narrowed his eyes at Wooyoung.

"Alright, then," he mockingly agreed. "Guess I just find it a little funny how you were always so against wanting to shoot actual fucking zombies, but when it comes to someone we actually had a chance at saving, you jump at the chance to shoot."

Wooyoung recoiled as if he'd been hit. 

"Y-you think... that I... you-," he stammered out, not even being able to find the right words to respond— not being able to think of anything to say back to what San was insinuating. "You really think that I wanted to kill that kid?"

San shrugged, not even looking at him anymore.

"You said it, not me," he muttered lowly. 

Wooyoung felt bright, red anger and hurt spill inside him and he was on top of San before he was aware of what he was doing.

He sent them both toppling to the ground, his fist connecting with San's cheek once, twice, before San seemed to finally snap out of his shock and react, blindly swinging back. Wooyoung's glasses flew off his face when San landed a punch on his cheek and Wooyoung knew that they had definitely broken, but couldn't care enough at the moment. 

"He begged me to shoot him, you fucking asshole!" Wooyoung shouted at him and punched San in the mouth, causing his lip to split; Wooyoung was so blinded by rage and hurt that he didn't even care. "And one of us had to stop being a fucking pussy and save him!" 

Byeol was yowling loudly somewhere in the background, but they both ignored it as they continued to throw punches. 

Wooyoung could taste the blood in his mouth, could feel the sharp, throbbing pain in his left eye and on his cheek from multiple landed hits, but he currently couldn't even feel the pain as he dodged another punch from the man below him.

"Easy for you to fucking say when you haven't been doing any of the hard parts this whole time! You haven't been the one who's had to keep continuously killing!" San spat back.

San tried to switch their position around so that he could pin Wooyoung down, but Wooyoung had slightly more muscle mass than San now and he maneuvered his way out of San's attempts easily, twisting them around again so that San was pinned down on the dirt below.

Wooyoung had managed to get a good kick at San's stomach in the process and San coughed out a gasp, recoiling into himself as he clutched at his stomach. Wooyoung used that moment to stand back up. 

He picked up San's forgotten gun and pointed it down at him, not even realizing what he was doing, his body just moving on instinct and adrenaline— just how he'd seen San do so many times before, but against zombies, moving in the exact way that San had taught him to move against a threat. 

San was still panting and coughing on the ground, blood painting his face an ugly crimson color instead of the pretty rose that usually tinted his cheeks warmly. He was looking up at Wooyoung with wide eyes, nothing but fear and hurt swimming through them and Wooyoung faltered slightly.

But San was quick to school his face into a mask of indifference as he narrowed his eyes, glaring up at Wooyoung. 

"What? Are you gonna fucking shoot me too, Young-ah?" He sneered and turned his head to spit blood out to the side, running the back of his hand across his mouth to get rid of the blood trickling down his nose and busted lip. He laughed harshly, nothing like the sweet melodic sound that Wooyoung had grown to adore so much.

"Now that we've basically made it to Alberta, you don't need me anymore, is that right? You just wanted someone else to do the hard work for you? To fuck around with and get off a couple of times, and that's it, huh?" 

Wooyoung felt a stab of pain in his chest at San's words, hating how self-deprecating San sounded, as if he really believed that was all he had been to Wooyoung. He wanted to shake him and tell him, No, you fucking idiot. I'd follow you to the end of the world, don't you get it?

But he couldn't. Not when they wouldn't bear any real weight while he was holding a fucking gun to San, and Wooyoung didn't know if this was something they could come back from.

He wanted to erase the last half hour, to pretend that it never happened and move on, but there was still so much hurt and anger coursing through him. San's words had cut deep and latched themselves inside of him, making him mad all over again. 

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity— glaring at each other with uncertainty, like they were strangers again, and not saying a word. The only sound that filled the air was their labored breathing. 

"Fucking do it then, Wooyoung," San eventually spat out, leaning forward until the tip of the semi-automatic was pressed against his forehead. "Seems like you remember everything I taught you."

There was blood in his teeth when he smiled again, crooked and nothing like his Sannie. He looked dangerous even though Wooyoung had the gun trained on him. 

Wooyoung's heartbeat was beating so loud in his ears, and he knew that San was feigning the bravado. He could see the panic and hurt hiding behind his eyes and Wooyoung suddenly felt absolutely disgusted with himself.

He turned the safety lock back on and tossed the gun to the ground, glaring down at it with disgust. A look of relief washed over San's face before he let himself fall back on the ground, coughing out more blood. 

Wooyoung picked up his glasses, broken in half with the lenses cracked, before turning to pick up his backpack. He stopped when he found Byeol curled up in there with Shiber, quivering slightly. His heart broke into a million more pieces at the sight and he reached out to pet her, but Byeol cowered away in fear, letting a low, warning hiss.

Wooyoung bit his tongue and decided to just leave the backpack behind. He could find another one.

"Fuck you," Wooyoung directed towards San in a monotone voice.

The fight had completely left his system and left him feeling bare and exposed. San was still on the ground, breathing coming out in short, pained gasps as he held onto his side.

"I can make it from here. Thanks for everything, Tampa," Wooyoung called out sarcastically, but his chest tightened as soon as he turned around, suddenly feeling like all the oxygen got sucked out of him and he couldn't get more in. 

He heard San laugh mockingly again and Wooyoung's heart clenched in pain even tighter. Wooyoung felt like he was falling apart. 

"Good luck with that, Canada," he shouted back, just as sarcastically. "Don't you dare come crawling back when you end up on the other side of the fucking country, lost again."

Wooyoung didn't look back or dignify that with a response. Mainly because he was trying his best to hold in the tears that were threatening to spill.

He just cradled the broken pieces of his glasses in his hands, not caring that some of the glass was cutting into his palm as he walked away from the man he thought he'd follow anywhere without a second glance. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Wooyoung didn't know where the fuck he was going. Partly because he couldn't see where exactly it was he was going and also partly due to the fact that he didn't know where the fuck he was. 

He didn't know how long he'd been walking, but the sun was beginning to set and Wooyoung was absolutely freezing. His face and body fucking ached from the hits San had managed to land, but he immediately pushed those thoughts away.

He couldn't think about San at the moment and not start to freak out again about what had happened between them. He needed to at least find a place to lie down first before he could do that. 

He wanted to listen to music but then remembered that he had basically left everything he owned back in his backpack. He wrapped his arms around himself tighter and instead hummed the tune of a song he liked and had only heard the other day. 

He felt like he was back at square one; like the past half-year didn't matter because he still ended up back where he began— alone, lost, scared, and still having no idea whether his family was okay or not.

He tried to focus on happy memories of his family instead. The sound of his mom laughing, warm and bright and smelling like home, making him feel welcomed always; his dad, always so strong and resilient no matter what life threw his way, able to fix anything he put his mind to; and his older brother, always so full of love and care towards him even when Wooyoung knew that he got on his nerves the majority of the time, but he never complained.

He kept those thoughts at the forefront of his mind as he continued to walk straight, trying to distract himself from the cold and motivating himself to keep moving. 

He eventually found an abandoned little store off the side of the road and he hurried inside, thankful for a chance to finally rest. 

It was a little dark when Wooyoung made his way inside the building. He'd seen San thoroughly inspect an area enough times now to know that he should do that first, but he was so fucking tired and couldn't give less of a shit at the moment, so he just dropped to the floor, exhausted and not wanting to think about anything at all for a while. 

No such luck, though.

As soon as he closed his eyes, all he could see was San. How he had looked on the ground, all bloody and beaten because of him.

How terrified he had looked when Wooyoung had pulled the gun on him. When Wooyoung had pulled a fucking AK-47 on him when he'd done nothing but protect and save Wooyoung from the very beginning.

Wooyoung huddled in on himself tighter. 

What the fuck had he been thinking?

He hadn't been thinking, Wooyoung reminded himself. That was the problem. He never fucking thought things through, and this time the consequences had been graver than ever before. 

What San had said to him had hurt him, a vicious and painful reminder, cutting deep and making him feel worse about something he already felt terrible about, but had to do.

But then he remembered how he had hurt San back, cutting into San's skin with his fists and he wanted to throw up again. 

He never thought things through and now here he was... alone in the dark, freezing, and without his best friends, without his family, without Shiber, without Byeol, without San. 

Alone with nothing but his thoughts had always been a dangerous place to be, but Wooyoung couldn't help but think about how different things would have been if San were still right by his side. 

San, pressed up against his side as he cradled Byeol close to his chest to keep her warm as he joked around with Wooyoung, trying anything to get Wooyoung to laugh.

San laughing at his own stupid jokes and Wooyoung leaning over to kiss him silly because the sound just filled him with nothing but pure adoration, his heart swelling as San kissed him back with just as much determination.

He got lost in his thoughts of San, feeling completely empty and knowing that he wasn't ever going to be able to get that back now. He hugged his arms around himself as tightly as he could. 

He was so lost in his own pain and misery that he didn't hear the rustling and footsteps coming from behind him until it was too late. 

The zombie was on him before he even had a chance to understand what was happening and immediately panic settled in, lighting every nerve inside him alight with terror.

He tried to sit up, to push the thing away, but the zombie was bigger and stronger than him and Wooyoung's head hit the floor HARD when the monster pushed him back down, snarling and snapping its mouth inches away from Wooyoung's face. 

Wooyoung tried his best to wrestle the thing off for a good while, pushing away with all the strength left in his body and trying his hardest to kick out from beneath it, but he was starting to feel extremely dizzy from the hit.

The zombie wasn't letting up and then suddenly...

Suddenly... he was so tired.

Emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted. He kept pushing away at the monster trying to bite down at him, but it was weaker now. 

He was so tired of constantly having to fight for his life like this. Tired of having to deal with this level of pain and hurt that constantly surrounded him. The zombie kept snarling and snapping, but it sounded far away and a little like it was all underwater. 

He felt like he was finally floating away. Seonghwa and Yeosang's smiling faces flashed through his mind. Then his parents, his brother, his family and all the holidays they'd spent together, all the good memories interwoven into his being, making him who he was.

Snapshots of his life flashed quickly before his eyes before ultimately landing on images of San and he felt his heart clench painfully tight. 

God, he wished he had had more time with his Sannie.

He wished things had ended differently between them. Would give his life to take back all the ugly words and actions. 

People in his life that he cared for so much, but now he had no way to hear from any of them. Wooyoung coughed out a weak laugh at that.

He was so utterly and devastatingly alone. 

So alone and just... so, so tired. 

The zombie that still hovered over him was really heavy and... would it really be so bad if Wooyoung just let it kill him? It sounded like such a nice idea at the moment. He didn't really have anything else to lose. 

So, Wooyoung just... stopped fighting.

He let his hands fall down and drop to his sides, and the zombie howled in delight, leaning in for a bite. Wooyoung couldn't help but tear up at the realization that this was actually it, and was about to close his eyes in acceptance when suddenly, there was a loud gunshot ringing through the air and in the next second, the heavy weight of the zombie was off him. 

Wooyoung heard a couple more gunshots ringing through the cold air and it surprised him to see San, his Sannie, come into his line of sight. San, who was looking at the zombie that was now on the floor with such a murderous stare that even Wooyoung felt a shiver of fear. San, who shot at the body a few more times even though the thing was already down. 

Wooyoung stared dumbly up at him, convinced that he was only dreaming because what the hell was San doing here? How had the other man found him again?

Byeol was at his side in the next second, rubbing her head against his hands excitedly, purring loudly and moving to meow into Wooyoung's ear, tickling it. Wooyoung reached out to pet her, but his hand didn't move as fast as he wanted it to, feeling like it weighed a million pounds. 

"Fucking hell, Wooyoung! You— Why the fuck would you— Why weren't you fighting back?" San turned around to face him and the look on his face was wild, his eyes moving to search all over Wooyoung's face, searching for answers that Wooyoung didn't have at the moment.

Byeol meowed loudly again and Wooyoung flinched and grimaced at the sound. His head was hurting like a bitch and when he brought a hand up to feel the back of it, his hand came back warm and covered with some blood. 

"Oh," Wooyoung breathed out and lifted his hand up for San to see too.

San's eyes widened and he was quick to pull out bandages from their first aid kit from inside the backpack and he dropped down on his knees, gingerly holding Wooyoung's head as he applied pressure to the wound. 

"God, you fucking idiot," San breathed out. He kept his hands on Wooyoung's head, steady and comforting and Wooyoung felt his eyes start to flutter closed. "Hey, don't fall asleep on me right now, okay? Young-ah?" Wooyoung groaned and kept his eyes closed because he was so tired. But then San snapped his fingers in front of his face and Wooyoung opened his eyes, grimacing at the sound. "Don't. Sleep." San repeated seriously. 

Wooyooung huffed out a weak laugh. "Okay, mom."

But San didn't seem to be a the joking mood. 

"Jesus, Wooyoung, you can't just—! That-" San had to stop because his breaths were coming out too fast and he looked so mad, but his hand on Wooyoung stayed gentle and warm.

“Why the fuck didn't you fight back?!" he asked again after he managed to calm his breathing down a bit. 

Wooyoung felt a prick of irritation run through him. What the fuck did San mean by not trying to fight back?

He had... at first... and then...

Wooyoung felt tears prick at his eyes, threatening to fall over as shame washed over him, realizing how he had just given up. He had been about to just let the zombie kill him when he still had a family to look for. 

"Why does it fucking matter to you?" Wooyoung mumbled, his words slurring a little, and, yeah, he was still a little mad at San, still a little hurt. "Thought you said not to come crawling back to you, asshole..."

"Yeah, and I also showed you how to fucking protect yourself against the fucking monsters, didn't I? So again, why the fuck didn't you do that?" San but back. 

Wooyoung felt the same burning anger from before starting to make its way back into his body. He tried to lift himself up into a sitting position, groaning in pain at the movement. San gently pushed him back down, telling him to to stop moving because he was going to make it worse, but continued to keep the soft pressure on the back of his head. Wooyoung settled on just glaring up at him. 

"Why do you fucking care, San?" he said, his voice coming out steadier and raising in volume. "Thought you made it perfectly fucking clear that you didn't want anything to do with me, so what the fuck are you doing here?" 

"God, you still don't fucking get it," San gritted out. Wooyoung laughed in disbelief, raising his hands in exasperation. 

"What the fuck don't I get exactly this time, San?" Wooyoung shouted.  

"That I can't fucking lose you!" San shouted back, looking irritated and hurt, and then... shocked. Like he hadn't meant for those words to slip out.

He pulled back a little, his hand still holding Wooyoung’s head gently, but putting some distance between their bodies. Wooyoung breathed in shakily. 

His mind was still reeling from the aftermath of the fight with the zombie, the rush of adrenaline fading and his head wound leaving him feeling weird and fuzzy, but those words made it feel even fuzzier.

His body suddenly felt too warm and it moved on its own accord as he tugged San down by the front of his hoodie, bringing him in for a kiss, needing to feel him close in any way he could.

San made a surprised sound in the back of his throat, going completely still, and for a terrifying second, Wooyoung thought that the other might actually pull away, not want this anymore, and he felt a sinking feeling in his chest.

But then San was cupping Wooyoung's face with his free hand, careful not to move him too much, before kissing him back as if his life depended on it. 

They broke apart after a while and they stayed there on the floor, breaths coming out in small pants, foreheads resting against the other. San's eyes were closed and Wooyoung couldn't look away, still feeling so fucking tired but not wanting to fall asleep anymore. 

"I can't lose you, Wooyoungie," San said again, and it sounded a little broken, but much more steady and sure than he had been a little while ago. 

Wooyoung just nodded against San's forehead, rubbing their noses together ever so lightly, because he completely understood the sentiment.

He just couldn't form the words to explain at the moment so instead, he just pulled San in for another kiss. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

San made Wooyoung rest for an hour before Wooyoung insisted that they move to another store, to another car, to another building— just anywhere else where he didn't have to look over and continue to see the motionless body of the zombie, not even ten feet away— and have to be reminded with how close he had come to dying.

He even suggested sleeping outside in the gathering snow and that was when San finally caved and agreed to change locations. 

San helped him up and Wooyoung wobbled slightly. San instantly went to wrap a hand around his waist to steady him and Wooyoung leaned into the touch. 

"You okay?" he asked and Wooyoung nodded as he leaned into San's side more. San huffed out an amused breath. "Come on then. You're fucking heavier than you look," he stated teasingly but his grip tightened around him and kept Wooyoung close to him as they started walking.

Wooyoung just smiled and let more of his weight rest against San. 

"I'm so tired, though," Wooyoung whined childishly and pouted. San just snorted and guided them outside, not saying anything else, but continuing to keep Wooyoung close as they moved to find another place to sleep. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

San made Wooyoung rest for a couple of days before they started making their way to Alberta again.

Things were still kind of weird between them.

They'd been skirting around their conversations, careful to tiptoe around anything related to what had happened between them. It felt weird, not feeling completely at ease and comfortable around San like he always had, and he knew that they would eventually have to talk about what happened. 

With the kid in the store, their fight, and then about what happened with the zombie, but... he didn't know how to bring it up. He was afraid of making the situation worse again, of pushing San away even further than before, and he couldn't handle the idea of ever leaving his side again so he just continued to keep his mouth shut. 

He knew San was probably thinking the same thing. Knew that San could also feel the heavy, lingering tension that stretched between them like a huge hurdle, but they were both pretending it wasn't there.

Wooyoung didn't know how to cross it. 

He couldn't exactly come out and say, Hey, Sannie~ So sorry for beating the shit out of you, pulling your gun on you, and THEN running off after all that we've been through, only for you to have to come back and save me from dying again! Anyway, can we fuck again?

He didn't think that would necessarily go over well...

So, Wooyoung just tried his best to simply continue with what they were currently doing about the situation and just... ignore it. 

It was hard not to think about, though.

Every time that he looked at San, he felt a sudden rush of guilt and shame. Some of the bruises on his face had already started to fade into a blueish-yellowish color, decorating San's face like spiderwebs, but the majority of the others still looked fresh despite a few days already having passed.

The black eye he was sporting looked like it still hurt and his split lip had only just started to close up fully. Wooyoung knew his own face must not have looked any better with the way it still hurt, and every time he flexed his right hand, it had been a constant reminder of how his knuckles had been the ones to leave those marks on San's skin. 

He hated the way San flinched away from his touches at times before apologizing and trying his best to relax in Wooyoung's hold. He hated that San was so hesitant to touch him now. 

God, he wished he could take it all back.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Things were slowly starting to get better between them.

Wooyoung knew that San meant it when he said he couldn't lose him because Wooyoung felt the same way. He could feel that same burning passion echoed back to him, but he also still remembered his other words no matter how hard he tried to forget them. 

Funny how you were so against wanting to shoot actual fucking zombies, but when it comes to someone we actually had a chance at saving, you jump at the chance to shoot. 

It rang over and over in his head, and he wished desperately that it would just leave his mind already so they could move past it.

Things were slowly getting better between them, but San still felt so far away. Closer, but still just slightly out of reach.

He wanted to open up and talk things out, but he still couldn't find the courage to actually do so. 

He was still afraid. Always so fucking afraid. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They were kissing inside a broken-down laundromat a week later when things finally shifted into place again. 

Wooyoung's hand had come up to cup San's cheek softly but accidentally pressed into a bruise, causing San to wince away automatically.

And that was when Wooyoung finally decided that enough was enough.

He didn't want to hold things at arm's length anymore. San meant way too much to him for Wooyoung to lose again.

"I'm sorry, Sannie," Wooyoung breathed out and reached out to cup San's cheek again, fingers ghosting over the bruises he'd caused there. 

"Don't worry about it," San nuzzled into Wooyoung's hand affectionately. He leaned in for another kiss but Wooyoung pressed a hand to his chest to gently stop him. San's eyebrows furrowed down in concern and he leaned back. "What's wrong, Young-ah?" 

"I'm sorry," Wooyoung repeated with more conviction in his tone.

San opened his mouth and Wooyoung knew that he was going to try and push it away, tell him that it was all okay, and then try to change the subject and they'd just be back at square one despite all the work to close the distance between them.

Wooyoung shook his head and this time, he pressed down on the bruise on San's cheekbone to emphasize his point. San winced again but he didn't pull away.  

"I'm so sorry, San," he started again, holding San's gaze with his own. "I'm so sorry for hitting you, for pulling a fucking gun on you, for... for not fighting back, jesus, Sannie, I'm just so, so fucking sorry for it all. I didn't mean any of it, not at all, and I would do anything to take it all back if I could.”

San was quiet for a while.

He just looked back at Wooyoung with a contemplative look on his face before he sighed and leaned back against the laundry machine behind them.

It was quiet for a few more minutes and Wooyoung was starting to worry that San really was just going to ignore this and sweep it under the rug, or worse, say that he didn't forgive Wooyoung and that he felt that it was maybe best that they went their separate ways, when San finally spoke up again, halting the avalanche of his thoughts from gaining more traction.

"Yunho," he said just above a whisper. His face was hard and looked like he was in pain as he stared straight ahead, but his voice was so gentle as he said the name. So tender, like he was keeping it safe with just the amount of affection laced in his tone. 

"Yunho?" Wooyooung repeated softly, encouraging San to continue. 

"He was my... we were together, before..." San gestured around them weakly, a small bitter laugh escaping his mouth. "... before all this."

San looked so broken and hurt. His gaze was far away again and Wooyoung felt like his own heart was being squeezed tightly, his throat burning a little at seeing his Sannie look so distressed and vulnerable.

"You don't have to-" Wooyoung started, but San shook his head. 

"No, it's... it's okay. I want to tell you." San closed his eyes for a while, blindly reaching over to the backpack next to them to dig out Shiber, Byeol not even stirring in her sleep at the movement. He squeezed the plushie tight to his chest, his grip turning his knuckles white and Wooyoung reached out to free one of San's hands to intertwine their fingers, giving a small squeeze to show San that he was there for him, too. San took in a shaky breath before he opened his eyes again, turning to look into Wooyoung's eyes with a strong, steady resolve. "I need to tell you. So that we can fix whatever the fuck is going on between us."

Wooyoung nodded encouragingly and stroked his thumb gently over San's knuckles before lifting their joined hands together to his lips, placing a small kiss to San's knuckles.

San's eyes closed again and this time he stayed like that for a while, simply holding onto his plushie and to Wooyoung's hand for dear life. It felt like a lifetime before San finally started speaking again, but Wooyoung knew that he would have waited longer than that for his Sannie. 

"We'd been best friends since high school," San started slowly. He opened his eyes again, but he looked so far away. Wooyoung's heart hurt for him. "We had just barely gotten together and... and we were out on our first date. It wasn't anything fancy or big. We just went to this small arcade that we always hung out at as teenagers, but that time we were there together, you know? And at that time, it felt like it was the start of forever, no matter how fucking cheesy it may sound now." 

"He had won me Shiber there that night after spending nearly a hundred dollars trying to get it," San smiled a little, eyes falling to the plushie still in his arms, tugging it closer, his voice sounding a thousand lifetimes away. "I told him that he didn't have to try and spend so much time and effort on such a small thing, but he had seen how much I liked it and was so adamant about it being the first thing he won me as an actual couple and he looked so happy when he finally won it... how could I not fall in love with the thing too?"

San stopped briefly to take a deep, shaky breath before continuing. "But then... we were about to leave, but th-they just came out of nowhere," San whispered, voice cracking at the end before he closed his eyes again, his chest rising and falling faster. 

Wooyoung brought their joined hands up to his lips again, keeping them pressed to San's hand as he held him tightly, silently reassuring him as San tried to get his breathing to slow down and even out again. He opened his eyes and looked at Wooyoung, his eyes glassy and huge and so, so raw and vulnerable. 

"He got bit, Wooyoungie," San croaked out. "He had just won me the fucking thing when-" San bit his cheek and he turned to look forward again. "I don't even remember how it happened, to be honest. I try not to think about it, and everything just happened so fast, there was nothing I could do, I didn't know what to do-" San's voice choked a little on the last word and he stopped talking, his breathing turning ragged again and coming out harshly, like he couldn't take any air in. 

"I don't even fucking remember where the gun even came from. I think the manager had come out running with it but he’d been taken down just as fast…? I don't know, I can't remember. I just remember Yunho telling me to shoot him because he didn’t want to hurt anyone and I-" San stopped talking again as he clutched Shiber closer to his chest, gripping onto Wooyoung's hand even tighter as he leaned forward, his gasping breaths making his body shake. Wooyoung bit his lip and squeezed back, using his free hand to rub soothing circles on San's back as he held back his own tears. 

San's voice desperately saying We can help you! We can find another way! echoed throughout his head and he felt so guilty, suddenly understanding the raw, unfiltered emotions attached to them.

He turned and took San into his arms, not being able to just let him break down like that alone, and held him close to his chest, running a hand up and down his back and then through his hair, cradling his head and moving San's face into his neck where San finally let himself break down. 

"Every time I close my eyes... I can't stop seeing his and everyone else's body," San gasped out and Wooyoung's heart clutched painfully. He brought San impossibly closer, holding him as if he could shield him from all the hurt and pain he'd been through. "There was nothing I could do. I wanted to save him, I wanted to so bad, Young-ah, but I- there was nothing I could do," he kept repeating that last sentence over and over between short gasps of air and Woooyung's own tears started to fall as he felt his neck get wet with San's. 

"It wasn't your fault, Sannie," Wooyoung whispered gently into his hair. "It wasn't your fault," he repeated like a mantra, over and over again as San began to slowly calm down.

Eventually, after what felt like an eternity, his breathing finally calmed down enough for him to speak again.

"I didn't mean any of the mean things I said to you, either," he cried. "You were right, Young-ah. There was nothing we could've down. You saved that kid." 

Wooyoung didn't say anything. He didn't think he could've without completely breaking down too, but the weight that had been holding him down finally seemed to lift itself off his shoulders. He bit his tongue and buried his face in San's hair. 

He just nodded and pulled San closer, thankful to have him in his arms again.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They stayed like that throughout the whole night. Neither of them actually sleeping as they stayed curled into one another. 

"I still see their bodies too," Wooyoung suddenly whispered. "M-my best friends... in my dreams, when I'm awake, I keep seeing them too. I was too afraid to do anything and they-" Wooyoung stopped because he couldn't say much more. He didn't need to. 

San turned his head to look up at him, his eyes so understandingly soft and unwaveringly steady. He ran his hand through Wooyoung's hair gently before pulling Wooyoung down for a chaste kiss. Just a brush of lips to show Wooyoung that he wasn't alone. Not anymore. 

"I can't lose you either, Sannie," Wooyoung whispered after they pulled apart. San pulled him in for another kiss and Wooyoung felt like they had finally reached each other again. 

It obviously wouldn’t fix all their problems.

Wooyoung knew that they were going to have to carry all of this pain and hurt with them for the rest of their lives, but at that moment, he felt like he could get all the answers from San's lips moving slowly and purposefully against his. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

It was getting so fucking cold, even San wasn't making fun of him anymore for it. 

They were almost to Calgary, San had informed him and Woyoung didn't know if he was feeling more excited or afraid. He still hadn't thought about the possibility of his family no longer being there. 

The only thing he was sure about at the moment was his Sannie. 

And Byeol, because at that point they were a package deal. 

Wooyoung told San just as much and San smiled, knocking his shoulder playfully with his own. 

"Don't be jealous that my Byeolie has taken over your spot as number one in my heart, Young-ah."

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Go and ask Byeolie for help the next time you wanna get eaten out instead of me, then.” 

San gasped dramatically and shoved Wooyoung away.

"Don't be gross, she can hear you!" he pouted and reached over to coo at Byeol reassuringly.

She meowed back in confusion and Wooyoung just cackled before capturing San's face in his hands, blowing a raspberry against San’s dimpled cheek. San shrieked in surprise but started giggling soon after, wrapping his arms around Wooyoung to turn his head and kiss him. 

Wooyoung wondered if this was what home had always meant to feel like. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

They were driving in a small beat-up van that San had managed to get started. The radio was turned on and blasting their end-of-the-world station and the melodies played softly in the background as Byeol curled up in San's lap as he drove. 

Wooyoung was playing around with his newly fixed-up glasses. San had assured him that as long as he had superglue, he could fix anything. Wooyoung had been skeptical at first, but then pleasantly surprised when San actually had managed to put them back together. 

"I told you I could fix them," San said in a sing-song tone and he smiled over at Wooyoung. Wooyoung placed the glasses back on his face and turned to look at him. 

"Oh yeah, and I totally believed in you, baby. I mean, the first ten tries were a rough watch, to be honest, but I knew you'd get it down on that fiftieth attempt!"

"Yah! I fixed them, didn't I?" San pouted before smiling much too innocently. "I couldn't let the cute librarian look die, Young-ah," he stated seriously. 

"Oh my god, I knew that was the only reason you really wanted to fix them so badly! You don't give a shit if I can see clearly or not, do you? You just have some weird librarian kink or something!" Wooyooung huffed out and flicked San's forehead. 

San's pout only grew. "But librarian-nim, my book is overdue." He batted his eyes prettily and Wooyoung bit his cheek. "Oh, well. Guess you'll just have to punish me, sir... you're gonna have to bend me over the desk and revoke my L-card..."

"L-card?" 

"Library card? L-card, V-card, you get it? Now, keep up and revoke it."

"Jesus christ, I'm begging you to shut up," Wooyoung laughed and shoved San's face away when he leaned over, making exaggerated kissy faces and noises at him just to be annoying. "Yah! Watch the road you fucking dork, you're gonna end up crashing over a stupid joke."

San just giggled and situated himself back into his seat. San trained his eyes back on the road, a small smile tugging at his lips and Wooyoung let himself simply watch him as they continued to drive in comfortable silence. The only sounds were the soft song that played and Byeol's little snores. 

The sun was beginning to set and it cast a golden light over San's features, making his hair look all fluffy and his face so soft; the golden hour highlighting his sharp features and softening them out. His bruises had started to fade and the majority of them were pretty much gone already, leaving his skin looking fresh and new. The light made his eyes sparkle like jewels, making the tiny freckles across his nose and cheekbones and neck stand out. Wooyoung had started to see them as his own personal little constellations. 

"Did you know that you're, like, ridiculously beautiful?" Wooyoung asked without thinking as he continued to stare. "It's incredibly unfair, really."

San just let out a little huff of air, sounding taken aback and cutely embarrassed. 

"Stop staring, you weirdo," he murmured. Wooyoung noticed the rosy pink he loved so much start to tinge the other's cheeks, though and he smiled to himself, turning his head to look out the window at the scenery passing by. 

A soft song began to play in the background and Wooyoung just let himself listen to the words being passionately sung. 

"Hours seem to go too fast when I'm with you... Just watch it all go past when I'm with you... And that's the usual, but I love what we got going on... It's best I let you know..."

"This is so cheesy," Wooyoung stated simply as he turned the volume up even louder. 

The song drifted peacefully between them and the stretched-out road, finishing just as smoothly as another song began to play and they just continued to sit in comfortable silence. 

"Hey..." Wooyoung started after another song ended and a more upbeat one began to play. San hummed in response and looked over at him. "I'd been meaning to ask... How did you end up finding me again?"

San continued to look at Wooyoung for a couple of seconds before turning his attention back to the road. 

"I don't know if you've noticed, Canada, but you're probably the most predictable person in the whole existence of the entire world."

Wooyoung let out a scandalized noise and was about to argue, but stopped himself before he did because, okay, yeah. Maybe San was right there.

"Okay? And?" he pressed instead, pouting. 

San laughed and reached out to give Wooyoung’s cheek a fond tug. 

"I knew you'd end up getting lost in the opposite direction so... I just followed my intuition and went that way. I had searched almost every building around that area until I found you again."

Wooyoung didn't even feel the ache from the bruises he knew were still fading off his own face as San continued to tenderly stroke his cheek. 

Wooyoung leaned into the touch —how could he not?— and San's thumb began to trail down his cheekbone to Wooyoung's bottom lip, pressing down on it gently before pulling away. Wooyoung wanted to bring the digit back to his mouth and suck on it, but it felt like they were having a moment, so he tried to will those thoughts away for later. 

"I'm glad you found me," Wooyoung whispered sincerely, not just talking about the moment San had found him again, but from the very first moment they had met. He felt so touched knowing that San still came looking for him despite the terrible fight they'd had and with no assurances that he'd find him again, but still trying.

Wooyoung wanted to say more, so much more, but then thought that maybe that was enough for San to understand every feeling and emotion he couldn't put into words. 

San looked at him, a small smile tugging at his lips, his eyes shining so brightly. "Me too, Wooyoungie."

Wooyoung's heart stuttered in his chest and he turned his head to place a kiss to San's palm.

"So cute,” he mumbled. “Now pull over so I can suck you off," Wooyoung stated seriously. 

San just burst into laughter but did as he was told. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

The house looked uninviting and cold when they walked up to it. 

Wooyoung wasn't sure what he had expected. He hadn't been back here since he left for college, but it didn't seem to have changed one bit and he felt a little thankful for the familiarity despite the chaos around them. 

He was carrying Byeol in his arms, the small cat had fallen asleep with the rhythm of his steps, but he stirred when Wooyoung stopped. He gently nudged her awake before setting her down. She trotted forward curiously, sniffing and peeking around the area before her hair stood on end and she let out a low hiss, immediately backing away to hide behind their legs. 

Amazing. That was always a good sign. 

San's hands slipped into his and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Are you okay?"

Wooyoung nodded and swallowed thickly. "Yeah, just..." he adjusted his glasses with his free hand and kept looking at the house. "... taking it all in, I guess.."

"C'mon," San motioned and took a step closer to him. "I'm right here with you."

Wooyoung nodded appreciatively and took a final breath before finally stepping forward. 

The house was empty when Wooyoung pushed the door open. The cold air seemed to seep its way into his body and he felt just as empty inside. It smelled awful.

It smelled like zombie. 

There was blood all over the walls and his family pictures were all shattered on the ground. 

His breathing stopped and it felt like time slowed down. 

"Eomma? Appa? Hyung?" Wooyoung shakily called out.

He took a tentative step forward but didn't get too far with San's hand tugging him back, stopping him from making it any further into the house. Wooyoung looked back at him. San looked extremely uncomfortable and hesitant and wouldn't meet his eyes. 

"Young-ah..." he started but stopped. He looked like he was struggling to find the right words but kept coming up blank. Wooyoung knew the feeling. San gave his hand another squeeze, taking a deep breath before trying again. "If your family's still here, they might not be... themselves anymore..."

Wooyoung had always known that this was a possibility. It didn't make the bile in his throat burn any less. 

"If... if they're here," San started again but Wooyoung vehemently shook his head. He knew what San was getting at. 

"No." Wooyoung's voice had never sounded so detached from his body. "Sannie, I— they're my family. I-I can't, I wouldn't be able to."

San gave him an empathetic look and nodded. Swallowed slowly. Wooyoung's eyes followed the movement. He knew what San was asking him and knew what would happen if his family wasn't his family anymore. He turned away from San and looked around the room again instead. 

The picture of him and his brother as kids dressed up for Halloween was the only picture left hanging on the wall, but there was a huge shattering crack right down the middle, separating the two. He moved towards it, shaking himself out of San's grip. 

"I'm going to check around," San said softly from behind him.

He sounded far away, but Wooyoung could hear the small tone of hurt leaking through. He looked up just as San made his way up the stairs, his gun ready, and Wooyoung got whiplash by how hard he turned his head back around again. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

It all happened too quickly. 

Wooyoung was still downstairs looking around the living room, picking up remnants of the broken pictures on the floor, trying his best to clean them as best as he could. He made his way around the room like that, as if by cleaning the room, he could pretend that everything was fine. 

He was about to pick up a broken lamp from the floor when he heard a loud bang coming from upstairs, followed by several gunshots going off before he heard San shout out in pain. 

Wooyoung dropped the lamp, instantly jumping to his feet and taking the stairs three at a time to make his way towards the sound. 

"Sannie!" Wooyoung called out. His heart was beating too loudly, he could hear it pounding, too loud, too loud. 

There was another loud bang and he heard San cry out in pain again followed by more noise and Wooyoung started running towards the room at the end of the hall— his old room. 

He reached the door and threw it open, immediately getting hit with the smell of zombie. The bile in his throat continued to burn. 

"Wooyoung," San choked out. He was on the floor. His gun was thrown off to the side, too far for San to reach and grab it. One of his arms was twisted weirdly, obviously broken if the unnatural angle indicated anything, while his other hand was pushing away at the zombie's face, trying to keep him at bay. 

"Wooyoung," San called out again and this time, Wooyoung could hear the pain evident in his voice.

San wasn't looking at him, too busy dealing with the zombie one-armed. He was trying to kick his way out from underneath him but San was too small compared to it. He had always been too small without the gun.

Wooyoung wanted to move. He tried to move, but one look at the zombie's face and it felt like his world had just crumbled underneath him.

His dad— or, the thing that used to be his dad— was clawing at San's arms, trying to tear it away to be able to bite down on him. Slime and grime dripped down from its open, snarling mouth and onto San's face, which Wooyoung only just then realized was also smeared in blood, a large cut slicing above his eyebrow. 

San was pushing at his dad's face, thrashing his body to try and get it off him, but it was just too strong. 

"Wooyoung! Wooyoungie, please," San sobbed out. He sounded absolutely desperate and broken in a way that Wooyoung had never heard him sound before, and that was what finally kicked Wooyoung into drive. 

He reached for the gun when his dad— no, not his dad, not anymore, he reminded himself— finally seemed to notice that there was someone else in the room. It looked up and snarled at him and San took the small opening to use his arm to hit it square in the jaw. It knocked the zombie back a little, but it seemed to be more stunned than actually hurt, and he was instantly snarling and snapping back at San. 

Wooyoung held the gun in his trembling hands and tried to load it. His heart was pounding in his ears and his shaking hands made it nearly impossible to keep the gun steady, but he finally managed to clip the magazine back into place before taking a shot and missing completely. The zombie didn't even flinch, but San hissed out a sharp breath.

"Fuck," Wooyoung cried out in frustration. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He went to reload again but his hands were shaking even more than before. 

San cried out in pain for what seemed like the millionth time and Wooyoung felt tears prickling at his eyes, because fuck. It felt like Seonghwa and Yeosang all over again; not being able to help no matter what he tried, and hearing the screams of agony. He was trying his best to compose himself long enough to get a clear shot. 

He took a deep breath, absolutely concentrating on the shot because he'd be damned if he let this world take another person he loved. 

He went to aim and shoot right as the zombie managed to slam San's good arm down. The bullet went straight through the side of its head, causing blood and other brain matter to spatter everywhere. The zombie's body finally, finally stilled its violent attack before falling down on top of San. 

Wooyoung was immediately at his side, pulling the heavy body off his Sannie.

San cried out in pain again. Wooyoung hated the sound and wished that he weren't causing him more pain than he already had. 

There was blood and grime all over San's face and they mixed in with the tears streaming down his cheeks, but he was alive, he was alive and Wooyoung felt his own tears finally spill over. 

"Sannie," he choked out and leaned down to press his lips against his before he could stop himself, not caring about the mess, just needing to feel San against him.

It wasn't a real kiss, not really. Wooyoung's mouth was just pressed tightly against San's, unmoving and unwavering, simply wanting to feel the other safe and alive against him. He pulled off immediately when San let a small, pained whine. 

"Sorry, fuck, sorry, sorry," Wooyoung sniffed.

He rubbed at his eyes, trying to get himself to stop crying, to compose himself at least a little because San was the one hurt here. San was the one who needed taking care of.

Wooyoung wiped at his face one last time before finally mustering the courage to take a look at the damage on San's body, hoping that he wouldn't find any bite marks. Praying, begging, and baring his soul to the universe and anything that was listening that he wouldn't find any. 

His broken arm had gotten moved around during the fight and was now sticking out in an even weirder position. Wooyoung wanted to throw up just looking at it, but he just gritted his teeth, forcing himself to be strong for once. San's other arm had various scratches and bruises starting to form, but it didn't seem to be broken or hurt too badly besides those small injuries. 

Wooyoung held his breath as his eyes traveled down to San's chest. His hoodie had been ripped a little and more scratches covered the exposed skin, but it was when he saw the large, dark red spot on his stomach that had Wooyoung completely stilling, all the air in his lungs leaving out in a shaky exhale. 

He lifted the hoodie quickly, heart pounding, but he let out a small breath when he realized it was just a graze wound from a bullet, not a bite. 

Which, alright, was still bad, but nowhere near as bad as Wooyoung had expected. 

"Sannie," Wooyoung said through a thick voice.

He couldn't look up at him, couldn't look at the other's face without feeling like he would break down completely, and San needed him right now.

It wasn't a deep wound, but it was still bleeding and Wooyoung really needed to get it to stop. He reached for one of the blankets on his bed and pressed down on the wound to manage the bleeding. San sucked in a sharp breath and whimpered brokenly. 

"I'm sorry, I know it hurts, Sannie, but I have to stop the bleeding. I'm so sorry, I-" he felt tears start to fall again and San's good hand shot up to cup Wooyoung's cheek gently, causing Wooyoung's breath to break on a little sob. He didn't deserve San's gentleness at the moment. He wasn't sure he ever did. 

"S'okay, Wooyoungie," he said softly. Much softer than what Wooyoung deserved. "It's just a lil' graze wound. Guess we just... need to work on your aim more."

Wooyoung huffed out a surprised laugh and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand, keeping the other one applying pressure to the wound. "It's not okay, Sannie, I fucking shot you. You're bleeding."

"'m bleeding everywhere," San mumbled as if that somehow rationalized everything. He sounded tired but there was still a joking tone laced there. Wooyoung shook his head in disbelief. 

He kept the constant pressure on the wound, still not looking San in the eyes, and San used the hand he still had on Wooyoung's cheek to turn his face towards his. Wooyoung bit his tongue but still couldn't bring himself to look the other in the eyes. 

"Yah," San said softly, too fucking gentle. "Wooyoung, look at me." Wooyoung bit his cheek, feeling copper on his tongue now, but determinedly kept his eyes fixed on the wound. San sighed softly. "Wooyoungie, come on. Look at me. Please?"

Wooyoung finally looked up and almost instantly had to look away because San was smiling at him. Fondly and proudly, and a little sadly as well, and Wooyoung just couldn't handle it right now. 

"Wooyoung, you saved my life," San started easily. His grip on Wooyoung's face tightened for a second. "You saved my life."

Woyoung shook his head and bit down hard on his tongue. He wanted to say you wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me, didn't say but you've saved MINE so many more times.

San seemed to know what he was thinking just like always, though, and his grip only tightened even more. 

"You saved my fucking life, Wooyoungie," San repeated with more more determination this time. His grip softened and he ran his thumb across Wooyoung's cheek, wiping away the tears there. Wooyoung leaned into the touch despite himself. How could he not?

"You saved my life." It sounded like San wanted to make Wooyoung believe it. Like he could convince him the more times he said it. Wooyoung knew that it wouldn't happen, he felt too fucking guilty for it, but was willing to indulge San.

"Okay," Wooyoung replied, but it came out sounding like a question— hesitant and unsure.

San stroked his thumb over Wooyoung's cheekbone again, soft and reassuring, and he let his eyes flutter shut, leaning into the touch, desperate for more. 

"Say it," San said, but it sounded like a question too. 

Wooyoung swallowed but eventually nodded.

“I saved your life." He opened his eyes and saw San looking up at him, smiling softly, his eyes a little sad, and Wooyoung wanted nothing more than to give this person his whole life again and again and hope that it was enough. 

"Good," San said, and then, in a much softer voice, "Now kiss me again."

Wooyoung didn't need to be told twice. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

It didn't really hit Woooyung until after he'd tended to San's wounds. 

It didn't fully register until after he'd stopped the bleeding and wrapped it up in bandages that he'd found in the first aid kit his family still kept in the bathroom. 

It didn't sink in until after he set San's broken arm into place, making a makeshift splint from old newspapers and tape that he'd found in the supply closet, dustier than he'd ever seen it. 

He didn't have a chance to really think about it until after he'd cleaned the blood and grime off of San's face and body, using the shower head to help wash most of it off and helping him get cleaned up as best as he could without making his injuries worse, before he applied more bandages to the bigger cuts and scrapes. 

He tried not to think about what happened until after he was sure San had been taken care of as best as possible, making sure that he was okay (well, as okay as he could be in a situation like this) and helping him settle down gently on the bed of the guest room downstairs. 

San grabbed his wrist gently and told him not to check in his parents' bedroom when Wooyoung turned to leave to find aspirin or any other pain reliever for him.

Wooyoung wanted to go and check anyway because that was just the type of person he was, but San knew him and could see his face. He told him as gently as he could that his mom and brother were in there and hadn't made it either and it really was in Wooyoung's best interest to not look. 

"Spare yourself the image at least," San tried to say gently and Wooyoung didn't know how to explain to him that the images were already engraved in his head even if he didn't actually go in and see it himself. 

Still, he nodded blankly, suddenly not being able to feel anything, and avoided looking at the slightly ajar door of his parent's bedroom as he made his way to the kitchen. 

He found the aspirin and brought it back to San with some water because he knew that despite San putting on a brave front, he was still in a lot of pain and needed to rest. He propped the pillows up against the bedframe and helped San lay back against them comfortably, careful of the splint and the bandage on his side and to not make San's soft, labored breaths any worse as he moved around. 

It wasn't until he was staring at himself in the bathroom mirror after having taken a shower that he realized that the only person he had left in this world was San. 

No family, no other friends, no one else but San, and he had been so close to losing him too.

He'd had to shoot a version of his father that, zombie or not, still fucking hurt him to his core, leaving him feeling immovable. His mother and brother were dead. He'd watched his classmates and his best friends be torn apart and he almost witnessed that same thing earlier that day with his Sannie. 

Wooyoung felt his chest begin to tighten and suddenly he couldn't remember how to breathe. 

He gripped the sink tightly, knuckles turning white, and stared at himself in the mirror. He felt like he had that day he had been alone with the zombie, so close to giving up— detached from his body in a way he'd never felt before and suddenly so, so tired. He kept looking at his reflection but couldn't convince himself that it was him who was staring back, unable to recognize the person he'd become this past year. 

He opened the medicine cabinet to break away from the stranger staring at him and tried to name everything inside, willing his breathing to even out. 

He didn't notice how hard he slammed the medicine cabinet back closed until he saw the big crack in the glass running down the middle of the mirror. He stepped away shakily, making his way back to the room, and not breathing until he got back to San. 

He curled up next to him, trying his best not to jostle him or Byeol, and pulled Shiber close to his chest. 

He didn't sleep. Just simply listened to San's soft, even breaths and steady heartbeat that proved he was alive, alive, alive until the sun came out. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Wooyoung didn't sleep the next night either. 

He couldn't stand being in this house with his family fucking rotting inside it, but he knew that San needed to rest for a while more before they could start moving again to...

Well... Wooyoung actually had no idea what they were going to do now. San had brought him to Canada, that had always been the goal, so Wooyoung felt like there couldn't be anything else anymore. 

"Alright, pack your things. We're going to California," San tells him out of nowhere, pulling Wooyoung out of his thoughts. 

"What?" Wooyoung asked but San was already slowly getting up and moving around to pick up their backpack with his good arm. 

"I said we're going to California. We're going to see the fucking beach," San stated matter-of-factly and turned to look at Wooyoung, his head tilting cutely. "Unless you want to go somewhere else?"

"No, I... California doesn't sound bad, but, Sannie, you're still hurt, we can't-" Wooyoung began to reply as he got up to help a struggling San with the zipper on the backpack. 

"Don't worry about me, I've had worse," San reassured him.

Wooyoung didn't know if he was lying or not, but he could see that San was adamant about this and wouldn't back down. He headed over to the bathroom to rummage through supplies that they could take with them.

"Let's get out of here," San said as he returned, his good arm holding the first aid kit as he struggled to hold up the other items he had deemed necessary. 

Warmth flooded through Wooyoung's chest. The fact that San was able to understand how much Wooyoung would rather be anywhere else than in this house without having to say anything— how he was willing to put his own pain aside to help him through his. 

"Thank you," Wooyoung said and pulled San into a hug, mindful of his broken arm and the wound on his side. He hid his face in the crook of San's neck and just breathed him in, the smell of soap and something so uniquely San that had him feeling calm and secure. 

He didn't see it, but he knew San was smiling into his hair, pulling Wooyoung close to him, refusing to let go any time soon. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

It was fucking freezing out, but Wooyoung didn't even mind at that point  The numbness the cold brought was welcoming. 

They had taken anything they found useful from his house before heading out. Wooyoung gave it one last glance before looking away, taking San's good hand in his and interlacing their fingers. 

"So, why California?" he asked San.

San shrugged. "That was where I was before all this started. I guess... I felt like it was finally time to head back and maybe... maybe get some closure."

Wooyoung's heart tugged at that and he squeezed the hand in his that had always fit so perfectly. He had no problem with that plan. 

"I guess I should've been calling you Cali instead of Tampa this whole time," Wooyoung jokingly said and leaned over to smack a wet kiss against the other's cheek. San giggled.

"And I guess I should've been calling you 'Bad Aim' this whole time," he teased back. 

Wooyoung blanched at that response before sighing softly at the audacity. "San-ah..." he reprimanded gently.

"Too soon?" San smiled softly, but he did look a little apologetic at least. 

"Absolutely too soon, oh my god," Wooyoung breathed out but he couldn't help but smile back despite himself. "I take back the Cali thing. I should've been calling you 'Asshole' this whole time like I'd wanted to from the very beginning."

San just threw his head back to laugh and Wooyoung didn't think he had ever loved someone more. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

Nighttime was still the fucking worst part of all this. 

His nightmares had only gotten worse— images of his family's unfamiliar dead bodies now haunted his dreams and he couldn't ever seem to get enough air into his lungs when he woke up from them, gasping at clawing at his chest as if that would help him take in oxygen, because they were no longer just dreams; it had become a reality. A nightmare he could never, ever wake up from no matter how hard he tried. 

San's voice was comforting as he rubbed his back with his good hand soothingly, reminding him to focus on his breaths. Wooyoung tried his best to match his breaths to the steady rise and fall of San's chest. San handed Shiber over to him and Wooyoung instantly hugged it close to his chest. 

"This... this doesn't get any easier, does it?" Wooyoung laughed out hollowly after his breathing finally calmed down enough. 

"No," San admitted. And then, softer, he added, "But you don't have to go through it alone, Young-ah."

Wooyoung swallowed, his throat feeling tight.

"Thank you, Sannie," he whispered sincerely.

He didn't say anything else for the rest of the night, just clung tightly to San and the safety and security he always brought him. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

This time, Wooyoung was the one driving as San sat in the passenger seat, half asleep, but still pouting.

He had insisted on driving like always, but his broken arm made it too awkward to be able to do so comfortably and safely, so Wooyoung forbade him from even attempting to touch the wheel while he healed. 

Wooyoung was tired.

The night before had put him through another round of bad dreams. This time, images of shooting his dad sprung to the forefront. Then, the face shifted and he had been shooting the kid in the grocery store again, but this time he hadn't saved him in time and was shooting at a zombified version of the poor kid.

Then, finally, the image shifted again, this time to him shooting his Sannie and killing him. That was when he had woken up in a fit of panic, automatically reaching out to tug a sleeping San closer to him, clinging onto him desperately but gently as he calmed down. 

"Young-ah?" San asked from the passenger seat, his voice low and rough with sleep as he rubbed at his eyes, pulling Wooyoung out of his thoughts. "You okay, baby?"

Wooyoung hesitated before shrugging noncommittally. He wasn't sure how to bring up the fact that in his dreams, San dying was what had sent him over the edge each time.

He wasn't sure how to explain that he couldn't live without him at this point and it petrified him to think that he could die at any moment and Wooyoung couldn't lose his Sannie, too, he couldn't—

He hadn't realized he had said all that aloud until San laid a reassuring hand on his, stopping his rambling.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," San said softly and Wooyoung so desperately wanted to believe him.

San moved his hand to run his fingers through Wooyoung’s hair soothingly and didn't say anything else for a few minutes. Wooyoung let himself relax into San’s soft touch, trying to focus on the road instead of his fears.

But he just couldn’t shake it off. "I'm scared, Sannie," his voice cracked. 

"I'm scared, too," San confided immediately and Wooyoung turned his head to look over at him. "I meant it when I said I couldn't lose you too, Wooyoungie... We're all we've got left."

San sounded a little sad as he said so, but he continued, adding on a soft, "You're everything to me, Wooyoung."

Wooyoung's heart felt like it was being squeezed in his chest so tightly it might burst. San still sounded a little sad, but when Wooyoung searched his eyes, they were nothing but gentle and kind like always, and Wooyoung knew that it was enough. It had been more than enough for some time now. 

"You're everything to me too, Sannie," he said back and San leaned over to press a tender kiss on Wooyoung’s cheek.

San fell asleep not too long after that, his head pressed against the passenger’s window as the evening light cast shadows across his delicate features.

Byeol chose that moment to wake up and pad over to curl up on Wooyoung’s lap as he continued to drive. He reached down to scratch behind her little ears and her purrs filled the air, comforting and soft. 

Wooyoung continued to pet her lovingly and did his best to drive as carefully as possible, doing his best to avoid any potholes or anything else that could jostle the car too much and wake San. 

They didn't ever explicitly say I love you aloud, but Wooyoung had been feeling it for a long time. He'd been feeling it since the night San had told him his real name. 

And when San wakes up a little later and smiles sleepily over at him, leaning over to fix Wooyoung's glasses for him with his good hand so they rested on his face more comfortably, Wooyoung knew that he didn't have to hear it out loud to know that San loved him too. 

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

"Tell me about your family," San said one night after Wooyung had been ripped from sleep because of another nightmare, his latest panic attack having just subsided. 

They'd been walking for weeks now, only stopping to sleep, eat, freshen up…

… And to fool around. They were only human, after all. 

Wooyoung shot him an incredulous look and San smiled back empathetically. 

"Listen, I know that it's hypocritical coming from me, but... it really does help to talk about it, you know? Remembering them how they used to be. It helps you sort through all the emotional trauma and shit."

Wooyoung huffed out a laugh. "You show me yours, I'll show you mine," he teased. 

San smiled cheekily at that, but then it got a little sad and he nodded. 

"Yeah, okay, that's fair."

They spent the rest of the way to California like that— trading stories about their loved ones like they were treasured secrets and sacred parts of themselves. Wooyoung had to admit... it did actually feel better to let it all out, to have San carry some of that weight and help him carry some of his as well. 

It was all so overwhelming. The hurt from losing so many people, the anger at the unfairness of it all, and the overwhelming relief at having San by his side throughout all of this, but Wooyoung had started to feel lighter in a new way.

Not like before all this began, but definitely much stronger.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

It had finally started to get hot by the time they finally made it to the beach. 

"Now this is the weather I'm talking about, baby," Wooyoung drawled out exaggeratedly as his feet touched the sand for the first time. It felt incredible. "A nice thirty degrees," he sighed happily and wiggled his toes deeper into the soft sand. 

"Eighty-six degrees," San muttered but he was smiling too as he placed Byeol down on the sand as well. She immediately started sniffing around curiously. 

San's arm had finally fully healed a week ago, as best as it could, and he had been taking advantage of that fact by carrying Byeol around practically 24/7. He didn't think either of them could get any clingier or attached to the other, but Wooyoung had been proven wrong. 

They had music blasting from their small radio, the station still tuned to 81.8, as they started to walk along the shore, just enjoying the feel of the cool, clear water washing up against their calves.

Byeol was running in between them now, getting close to the water before meowing loudly and running away from the waves, only to repeat the process over and over. 

When the sun began to set, they sat side by side in the sand, simply watching the sky turn into a soft pink and taking it all in. 

The same song that had been playing the night San had confessed his real name began to play on the little radio.

He hadn't heard it since that night, but it had been stuck in Wooyoung's mind on a loop. He felt so relaxed and content, happy with just sitting there in the sand, on the beach with the soft pastels decorating the sky enveloping them with his Sannie by his side like always. 

"So... what now?" Wooyoung spoke up as he continued to look out into the horizon, unable to stop the overwhelming feeling of longing that it brought him. 

San shrugged, knowing that Wooyoung was asking for more than just what they were going to do tomorrow. 

"I guess we just keep living," he spoke slowly, and thoughtfully, as if he was just barely considering it. 

"I say we head to Mexico next," Wooyoung stated instantly. He’d been thinking about it for a while. "They have these cenotes that I'd always wanted to see. Oh! And the pyramids too!" 

San giggled and leaned more into Wooyoung's side. "We haven't even explored all the cool stuff in one country and you already want to skip on over to another one?"

Wooyoung pouted. "Yeah, but... Mexico just sounds way cooler. And it could be fun to get some new scenery, right? We could even stay down there for a bit and relax for a while. Maybe even finally set up a proper place to permanently come back to?"

San kicked some sand over at him. "Don't know if I'm ready to settle down," he teased, and Wooyoung stuck his tongue out, kicking sand back at him and San giggled as he continued. "But I like the idea. Let's go to Mexico."

Wooyoung felt his heart swell and he couldn’t stop the next words they tumbled out.

"There's only one place in this world I can call home... and it's because you're there," Wooyoung said to him wholeheartedly and San raised an eyebrow in surprise before throwing his head back to laugh. 

"Did you seriously just fucking quote that ‘Birdcage’ movie we watched the other day and try to pass it off as your own?" 

"Damn, I didn't think you'd notice," Wooyoung pouted again, but it only served to make San laugh even harder.

He turned to cup Wooyoung's face in the palm of his hand tenderly, pure adoration shining in those sparkling eyes and Wooyoung felt like his heart might just burst out of his chest from the look alone. 

"God, you're so fucking dumb," San said it so fondly, laced with so much care and affection, that it sounded more like a love confession than an insult, and Wooyoung couldn't help but lean in to kiss him just as sweetly.

The sky was still a soft pink, the color casting a soft, tinted glow on San's face, making him look so soft and open. Wooyoung's heartbeat quickened and he could only pull San in for another kiss, hoping that San could understand all the unspoken emotions that he poured into the soft, sure movement of his lips. 

Byeol chose that moment to start digging a hole directly in front of them. Her little legs digging furiously as if on a mission, kicking sand up and behind her and into their faces. 

"Byeolie, you can be such an asshole too, you know?" Wooyoung whined and took his glasses off to shake the sand that had ended up in his hair. “No wonder you and Sannie get along so well,” he muttered.

San laughed as he helped him, running his fingers through Wooyoung's hair to get the bigger, chunkier pieces out before shaking the sand out of his own hair. 

"She's just excited," San explained and pulled Byeol into his lap, hugging her close to his chest and rubbing his face against hers. "Right, baby? You were just being a curious little kitty like always," he cooed at her and Wooyoung sighed fondly, reaching over to pet the both of them.

Wooyoung didn’t doubt for a second that if San had the ability to purr too, he'd be joining in with Byeol right at that moment.

The sun continued to set, but now with a darker pink tinting it, with some orange and lavender mixing in as well and Wooyoung smiled softly. He really hoped that San understood that he had meant what he said, even if he had just been quoting the movie they'd watched together. He meant it when he said that as long as he had his Sannie by his side, anywhere was home. 

"Wasteland, baby... I'm in love, I'm in love with you..." The guy in the song continued to sing gently, and Wooyoung brought a hand up to run through San's hair lovingly.

San leaned into the touch but continued to coo at Byeol. Wooyoung's heart had never been so full. 

The world was still ending, but at least he had him.