Chapter Text
It was the first day of school for Jisung. The eighth grade. All the other kids in the class had started the week before, but his school transfer certificate had been delayed so he missed five days, and now everybody was friends with everybody, except him, because he was the new kid, and nobody ever likes the new kid, and his palms were sweating and… Perhaps he was overthinking it.
He tried to take a deep breath. Why was it so hot? He should have worn different clothes-
“Stop”, he thought to himself, “There’s no real danger”.
He could do this. Maybe. Yes. He could.
Jisung walked into his school and looked for the headteacher –a lovely woman he had met once before, when his parents took him on a visit–, hoping she’d help him find his class. Big changes made him anxious so he was glad he knew at least one person there. Headteacher Kim greeted him cheerfully and took him to where his class was forming a line to enter the classroom.
“Your first class will be Geography today, with Ms Park. If you need anything, remember my office is down the hall. You will find the counselor’s office next to mine. Do you remember where the toilets are?”
“Yes, around that corner”
“Perfect. Well, ready?”
“I think so?”
“You’ll be fine, I promise”
Headteacher Kim gave him a warm smile and patted his head. At age thirteen, Jisung thought of himself as a grown-up, but this gesture made him feel like a little kid. “So which one am I?” he thought vaguely as he entered the room.
“Alright kids, settle down, please!” the teacher, Ms Park, said. “Please welcome your new friend, Han Jisung. Is that correct, love?”
“Han Jisung, yup. That’s me”, was this awkward? He definitely felt awkward.
“Well Jisung, you can take that free seat next to Minho there in the middle”
Minho looked up as he heard his name and quickly gathered his things that were scattered on the place newly assigned to Jisung.
“Hi” Jisung said, trying his best to keep a friendly face and hide the panic the first day at school was causing him. “I’m Jisung. Han Jisung”
“I know, Ms Park just said so.” Minho replied. Jisung’s face fell and he bit the inside of his mouth.
“Sorry, I-”
“I’m kidding! I’m Minho. Lee Minho. Welcome to Soul High” And then his face lit up with a smile, small eyes behind big glasses, and big bunny teeth. He moved his chair so Jisung could sit comfortably next to him. “These are my friends,” he said nodding his head towards the boys sitting behind him, although they were so focused listening to some song through shared earphones, they did not look up to meet Jisung. “He’s Chan and that’s Felix”
Jisung looked at the kids and made some mental notes to remember the boys’ names. Chan’s hair was slightly curling after what seemed to be a back-to-school haircut, and he had his eyes closed while he listened intently to the music. Felix, face covered in freckles, was moving in his seat, dancing quietly.
“They seem to really like that song…” Jisung said, as he settled on his seat and took out his pen and notebook. “Anyway, what did I miss last week? My transfer was delayed and I couldn’t come until all the paperwork was complete”
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
By the end of week one, Jisung considered Minho his friend– his first friend in Seoul High. He’d always had a hard time adjusting to new people and learning to trust them, but Minho just made things easier. He had welcomed him when he was the new kid, and Jisung quickly found out it was something out of the blue for Minho, as he tended to keep to himself and not really talk to the other kids in the class. Chan had mentioned a fight the previous year, but Minho cut him off saying he had been right all along and to drop the subject. Jisung wanted to ask, but the glint in Minho’s eyes made him think twice, too afraid to ask and break this new friendship before it even solidified. He made a mental note for the future: ask about last year’s fight. Discreetly. Jisung did not consider himself nosy, he just liked being well-informed. That’s what he told himself, at least.
The truth was, Jisung quite liked this new school. It was bigger than his last, but somehow the class was quieter. The main building had been renovated to feature students’ mural paintings, and the large windows welcomed in plenty of sunlight. Autumn mornings at recess were warmly bathed in shy sun rays among the clouds and the chilly air on his nose made Jisung feel like he had finally found a place to stay.
Growing up had been chaotic, moving from one city to the next with his dad’s job. Being the son of a musician brought in many happy memories at the cost of traveling and leaving friends behind.
Things would be different this time.
Firstly, because he finally got a phone to keep in touch with Changbin, his only remaining friend from last year. Best friend, no less. Well, Jisung was sure Changbin had other best friends, but at this point in his life, he only had him. And he really did care so much about Changbin, so he was happy-yet-sad to think that even though he had left him behind –unwillingly– Changbin was not left alone. That kid was so fun to be around, how was he even friends with Jisung? “ He cares about me too” , he forced himself to think. Now was not the time to question the magical bonds of friendship. They were friends and that was the end of it.
“You’re not gonna believe this. I made three friends” he had said on the phone as he got off the bus to walk home after his first week of school.
“That’s my boy!” Changbin had replied. “Didn’t I tell you it wouldn't be the end of the world?”
“I didn’t believe it, Bin. I still miss you, though”
“Ah don’t start with that, we text every day now. But, good news, Mom says we can visit during winter break”
“Really?! Bin, that’s amazing! Yes, I’d love that! I’m gonna tell my mom so we can all have a sleepover,” he hesitated for a moment, biting his lip. “Well, sorry, do you want to meet Minho, Chan and Felix?
“Ah Jisung you really are the best, do you know that? Of course I want to meet them! Anyway, I gotta go now, but let’s talk later, yes? I want to tell you about this new movie I saw.”
“Alright just call when you’re free! Bye!”
Second reason why this time would be different was that now he had Minho. And Chan and Felix. The three of them always spent time together after school, and they had extended the invitation to Jisung after a week-long friendship trial period. The four of them started hanging out in the park right outside their school, first chatting, then snacking, eventually playing games. Chan and Felix usually walked home together, Minho and Jisung took the bus. And life was good. And Jisung relaxed. And he laughed, and he learned the special rules of Uno –YES, you can stack a +2 and a +4–, and he tried really hard to ignore the voice in his head telling him he didn’t belong with them. He now did.
By the first month of hanging out in the park outside of school, they started visiting each other's houses. Like a subscription to Friendship+. The boys had asked him about his previous school, he had told them about Changbin, and now they were all excited to meet him.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
“Truth or dare” Chan said once they were in Felix’s backyard, a mischievous smile on his face.
“Dare” said Felix, confident.
“I dare you to… bring me more chips” he laughed and rolled on the grass trying to avoid the other boy’s annoyed slaps “The rules are the rules man, you chose dare”
“I’ll get you the chips, but you can’t do that again” he scoffed, getting up. “Does anyone need anything while I'm inside?”
“I want something to drink” said Minho
“I also want something to drink” said Chan
“You’re just getting the chips. Jisung, do you want anything?”
“I’m good, thanks”
When Felix left, Chan was still on the floor laughing, Minho was shaking his head saying he was the worst. Jisung took a mental photo to remember that moment: Fun , he called it.
Felix’s voice snapped him out of it. “Earth to Jisung! Truth or dare?”
He’d spaced out and now all eyes were on him “Oh, sorry. Um, truth.”
“Have you ever kissed a girl?” Felix gave him a playful smile and wiggled his eyebrows.
Crap. Jisung tensed. Should he lie to be cool or tell the truth to be authentic? Was “himself” enough? He had to remind himself that these were his friends , and he shouldn’t build friendships on lies .
Deep breath. Nothing wrong with the truth.
“I haven’t, actually. Do you guys think that’s lame?”
“Ji, we’re thirteen” said Chan touching his shoulder to reassure him “I think we have time for that”.
“Yeah, I haven’t either” Minho’s voice was calm and confident. How was he so confident about everything?
“I haven’t either” said Felix, and Jisung swore he saw some shadows in his eyes. It was actually strange to see him not smiling, but what he said next made everything make sense. “Minho, tell him why you got suspended last year”
And the air changed, somehow. Jisung could feel goosebumps on his arms, and some tightness in his chest. His voice was small when she spoke “You don't have to tell me if you don’t want to…”
“No, it’s okay. Tell him, Minho”
“I got into a fight with some kids in our class”
“Tell him why you fought them”
“They were saying that…” he paused. Jisung couldn’t breathe “They were saying that Felix likes boys”
“It’s true, though”
Minho frowned and said “Yes, but it’s none of their business” Jisung had never seen him angry, and it made him feel dizzy. He quickly realized his breathing was too shallow so he had to purposefully breathe deeply as Minho continued. “They can’t be saying nasty shit about my friends like they are so much better. I got your back, Lix, I told you, but the way they were laughing just made me mad”
“They lectured us all on sexuality and identities. And bullying, of course.” Chan pitched in “Then the boys apologized to Felix but… because they almost got expelled, they now act like Minho doesn’t exist”
“They were a bunch of assholes, but they don’t bother me anymore” Felix was smiling shyly now
It happened so fast, Jisung didn’t know who had moved first, but the four of them were hugging each other now and he could feel small tears silently prickling his eyes. Was this all somehow his fault for the way he answered the question? At least the air seemed breathable now.
“I think you’re really brave Lix” Jisung said, “Thank you for sharing this with me”
“You’re our friend now, Ji” said Minho, playfully shoving him.
Chan had been silent for a while but was now also shoving Jisung, laughing to hide his own tears “You’re stuck with ussss”
And Felix was also laughing now, emotional moment over and already back to his usual, natural, happy self, “Welcome to the group”.
Rolling on the ground, jokingly fighting each other and laughing so hard his belly hurt, Jisung added a note to his mental collection: They welcomed me into the group because they care about me. And I care about them, too. So much.