Chapter Text
Finally, after so long, the dashing, handsome warrior prince of the school had her heart's desire in reach. Many trials and tribulations had led to this moment, fighting off feral boys and false suitors, relationships getting tested time and time again, and many a curse in the way. But it would all be worth it.
Her beloved, ethereal, red haired lover was soaked by the rain, along with the sweat from a battle hard fought. Something about the pure, wild energy in her eyes made hearts flutter, and the battleborne heiress to her family's traditions was no exception. The power of a goddess in a small, strong, well proportioned package was too much not to fall head over heels for in an instant.
Only one thing could get in the way from the true happiness they both seemed as they collided into each other's arms. Yes, for it was a cruel trick of fate that their parents arranged for the prince to be engaged to her lover's brother, instead. But that was a foolish arrangement as the prince, both a proud woman and despiser of unworthy men, only had her sights set on the most beautiful girl she had ever known. A forbidden love that they would have to force to be seen, even has their breaths both grew heavy and lips locked, soft skin against soft skin in a moment of pure passi-
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“That shade of pink really suits your face, sis. Compliments your hair. Moving on to Kasumi's spicy collection, are we?”
Akane had never closed a book so fast in all 18 years of her life. “NABIKI GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”
“Fine, but dad wants us downstairs,” Nabiki shrugged, “Some kind of announcement. Just think pure thoughts before heading down, I can't hear over the sound of raging lesbian.”
“I'm not a-” But Akane was alone again before she could finish her sentence, “... Hmph. Fine.”
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If Ranma had to make a ranked list of every animal ever, pandas would only be the tiniest bit better than cats. And that, against all odds, was a margin shrinking every single day since two weeks ago.
To be honest, he didn't really get why his dad decided to get a panda, and then get that panda to spike him right into a cursed spring immediately. That bastard couldn't even be there to do it himself, running off to lick his wounds right after Ranma kicked his ass seconds earlier. At least, that's what he assumed.
… Ranma didn't even know when Genma got a panda, but he must've. Something in his mind just barely connected those dots, but he could not piece together why. All he knew was the panda was somehow connected to his dad, his dad and the panda were never in the same place, and neither panda nor Pops seemed to recognise Girl Type Ranma as himself.
Sure, the bastard and his presumably pet happened to know that Ranma and ‘That red haired, ditzy brat’ were connected somehow, but really, you'd think transforming in front of both of them so many times would nail it into their equally thick skulls. But no, all they seemed to know was that Ranma and this supposedly nameless girl who says she's also Ranma were never too far apart.
Which was probably why this bamboo eating demon that had trailed along since Jusenkyo was chasing her through the twists and turns of Nerima.
“MR PANDA, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” Ranma's cute cursed voice echoed past the onlookers, all almost as confused as he was.
With every swing performed by the ursine asshole, Ranma almost thought it was as well trained in Saotome Style Anything Goes as he was. Maybe just a little bit more, given it had far more weight to pull around and account for. When did Genma find the time?
“I don't care what Pops wants with me, just leave me alone!” The redhead tried to pull off a full roundhouse kick directed at the panda's skull, and was met with a successful hit!
… Right as she got bonked in the head by the stop sign said panda wielded in retaliation.
Falling unconscious, she swore the panda had tried to order a cup of tea from a nearby food stall right as her lights went out. Silly panda, tea is for humans!
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Akane was going to fucking explode. What kind of outdated bullshit was this!? An arranged marriage in this day and age was not in the cards, not with some boy she didn't know. Her definitely not stolen novels were more realistic than that, because at least the father in those actually knew the boy BEFORE he arrived!
“I'm going to kill this guy if he so much as thinks of touching me…” She mumbled as the family walked down the hall to meet the guests at the door.
“Akane!” Kasumi gasped, “I know this isn't the best circumstance, but don't make threats like that!”
“It's not like I said it to his face, is it? I'm allowed to be pissed if I-”
Much to the inconvenience of Akane's anger, she was a little distracted at the sight of the guests. The bald man in a gi and glasses wasn't important, though. No, it was the teen he had hoisted over his shoulder that caught Akane's attention.
“Saotome, my old friend!” Soun was in tears as he offered a brotherly hug, returned by the bald man after he shrugged the redhead off of his shoulders.
“Tendou, how great to see you! I promise, Ranma will be here shortly, don't worry,” So the redhead wasn't Akane's potential fiance… “The boy's had a habit of disappearing around me lately, but this brat,” The man kicked the teen on the floor, “always seems to go wherever he goes, no matter how much I tell her to leave us alone!”
Getting up from the floor, the redhead seemed a little pouty. “Yeah, Pops, cos I'm him! I am Ranma!”
That just caused her to get a smack over the head. “Bah, nonsense! I know my son, girl, and you aren't my child!”
Whatever Ranma(?) said next, it seemed to slide through the ears of everyone in the room. Akane felt a little bad she didn't actually listen, but it felt rude to ask to repeat. Recognising she wasn't getting listened to, the pigtailed girl sighed with disappointment.
Really though, this strange girl was mesmerising. Just a little shorter than Akane, but what was clearly plenty of muscle and years of training was shining through in her exposed arms. Her red eyes were supernaturally gorgeous, and, in spite of more distracting locations, Akane couldn't help but be drawn back to those eyes every millisecond her own strayed.
“H-hey, uh…” Akane had to get her head on straight before she could speak, “Do, uh, you do martial arts too?”
The redhead seemed surprised anyone was talking to her at all. “I'm only one of the best martial artists ever, so yeah, a little…” She giggled while looking down, probably a little shy in spite of her confident words.
“Cool! Uh, I'm Akane,” The raven haired girl hoped her smile was charming enough and not completely nervous, “Do you want to be friends? I can show you around the dojo, if you like.”
And the small smile she got in return was enough to cancel out whatever Genma Saotome was saying about occasionally seeing a panda around. “Yeah, sure!”
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“You studied kempo, right?” Akane had led the two to the dojo. For a man-made training ground, Ranma was impressed. Nothing could beat the great outdoors, according to his Pops, but this was honestly pretty close. It was lived in.
“Yeah, a bit,” Ranma put his hand to his neck, “Mainly as a part of Anything Goes, though.”
“Me too!” Akane clapped her hands together excitedly, “I swear, it's like no one else actually knows the style except for dad.”
“I know, right?” That shared confusion lightened the atmosphere even more, “If it wasn't for Pops and his dumbass panda butler or whatever, I'd've probably never even heard of it.”
If jaws could drop that low, Akane's would've hit the floor. “Mr Saotome has a panda!?”
“I think? He never tells me,” Ranma was getting real tired of not being told things by Genma anyway, “But I know they're connected, somehow, and that panda is a dick.”
“Ugh, I guess that's just how it was trained, then,” Akane seemed to be taking a fighting stance, “No offence, but your dad seems to be one, too. I'm guessing Ranma's the same?”
That gave the redhead a moment of pause. “But… I'm Ranma?”
“Yeah, but, you know, the boy one we haven't seen yet,” The raven haired girl held up her fists, ready to strike, “Why do you use his name, anyway? You can't both be Ranma Saotome.”
The redhead sighed as he dodged a punch with ease. “Cos I'm him and am cursed to look like this when splashed with cold water, a fact ya probably won't hear at all.”
As expected, words went right through one ear and out the other. “How did you jump like that!?”
“Practice, ‘Kane. A lot of practice.”
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Akane was having thoughts. Lots of them. Mainly about how she had to be straight and all the evidence to the contrary.
First of all, she had just been beaten in a spar by what must've been the world's most perfect girl. Assuming Akane was actually a lesbian, completely hypothetically, the redheaded pigtailed girl really was everything Akane could dream of. She was kind, good at fighting, playful, obviously strong, hot as fuck, and she didn't think Akane was weird yet! Because, for all her friends, Akane knew that they probably all thought she was weird behind her back. But not this girl!
But Akane knew this wasn't going to last. She couldn't try to stay just friends and only ever friends with the new redheaded girl. There was going to be a, likely, huge pain in the ass named Ranma Saotome trying to get with her or one of her sisters. Akane didn't even need to meet the guy, he was probably a jerk. Why Girl Ranma insisted she was him, Akane would never know.
… Akane knew that her dad kept the book of names that helped give her and her sisters their names as babies. Maybe taking a detour to go looking for it might be helpful to a certain redhead. This was a girl's sense of self at stake, Akane could wait to wash up until after dinner.
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“I'm Ranma Saotome, sorry ‘bout this.”
At least the black haired boy was aware that he was ruining Akane's night. Girl Ranma was nowhere in sight, either. Honestly, if he wasn't a guest, Akane would be avoiding the bastard, too.
“I'm sorry about the boy,” Genma huffed, “He's had a habit of disappearing ever since I got cursed at Jusenkyo.”
“You got cursed!? What about me, old man!?” Boy Ranma said with his own little pity party, as if curses were real in the first place. Whatever he said next came out as quiet static, the weirdo.
“Yes, what about you?” The bald man sneered, and maybe, just a little bit, Akane felt bad for the boy as he quietly sat down, refusing to fight back.
Maybe it was just a trick of the light when Akane saw this black haired boy willingly splash himself with his glass of water. But if she squinted, she swore she saw something else happen, something she couldn't quite put her finger on… But it had to have involved the boy leaving, because the red haired girl was right there in his place, for some reason. The Girl Ranma had clearly not dried that well after her bath.
“Sorry to interrupt, Ranma needed some breathing space,” She said with a smug smile, “And Pops tends to ignore me, so I'm fine.”
“He can't just leave!” Genma roared as he got up from the table, “Stupid boy, we're trying to make a decision here!”
With that bastard gone from the table to hunt, that left Girl Ranma with the Tendous. And really, Akane just couldn't stop staring again. With Mr Saotome gone, she relaxed fully again, smiling right back at Akane's probably dorky looking face.
“So, uh, guessing there's no way to cancel the arrangement?” The redhead directed to Soun, “Cos, well, look. I ain't following him because I love him, ew. But I'm always gonna be around if Ranma is. Call it a curse of mine,” She laughed like it was some inside joke, “And he doesn't exactly wanna get hitched, either.”
“Akane probably wouldn't mind you around too much~” Nabiki had the gall to say out loud.
“I'm afraid the engagement must go on,” Soun said plainly, “... But, I suppose, if we can't get rid of you, then that should be taken into consideration…”
Her dad didn't have to be THAT rude about Girl Ranma's presence! Akane thought she was very attractive in a completely platonic manner. Maybe, if the boy went with Kasumi or Nabiki, then-
“Not it!” Nabiki shouted out, “Sorry, but I got the university dating scene to worry about.”
“I suppose I should consider that, too,” Kasumi mused to herself, “After all, I should finally be able to start my courses once Akane graduates high school…”
“Well, Akane will be getting engaged to Ranma, then!” Soun clapped his hands together triumphantly, “... The actual Ranma!”
Girl Ranma slouched at being pushed aside as some ‘fake Ranma’, but that's what she gets for stealing someone's name.
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“I can sleep outside if ya like, I promise I'm fine,” Ranma said from the futon on the floor, “Ain't nothing I'd never done before.”
The way that Akane was looking at him, he almost thought she'd seen a ghost. Sure, he was in his red haired girl form wearing his usual guy pyjamas, but it was just a singlet and boxers. He wasn't anything fancy, but she was halfway between reading some book and staring him down.
“N-no, it's fine! You don't want to sleep with the Saotomes, I get it!” Akane said, still flipping through pages, “Men suck, you're totally fine.”
“Yeah…” Admittedly, Ranma didn't exactly didn't know how to respond to that. His dad was pretty bad, but the other guy they were talking about was literally himself. He guessed that going to an all boy's school for a year did kind of blow, so he could relate a little, but not the same. Then again, Ranma was in girl form just to avoid his dad, so maybe there was a lot of truth in men sucking.
“... So, um, I just want to avoid any confusion with you and Ranma, so…” Akane showed the cover of the baby names book, “Do you want to look through for yourself?”
Welp, if Akane was going to be stubborn… “Just call me Ranko or something. But it isn't my name.”
“That's still so derivative, though,” Why did the raven haired girl have to be so cute when she pouted? “You should at least pick something that sounds different! It's Ranma with ‘horse’ in it, right?”
“Yep, that's me…” Ranma didn't need this. He was strong, a wild horse, and even through his curse, he could carry his name with some sense of self. Maybe it wasn't the best name in the world, but it was his like nothing else c-
“The most different sounding of these is Umako, so that's an option unless you really want to keep ‘horse’ at the end…” Akane said, kind of hopeful, “Plus, it isn't that common apparently.”
… Something small and protective got chipped away at in Ranma's heart for a second. Umako really was pretty sounding, and if it wasn't that common, then it'd be all he- his. All his.
“... Sure, call me whatever. I'm still Ranma, though.”
It didn't really hit Ranma in the dojo just how bright Akane could smile. Of course, he was trying to avoid getting decked in the face then. But here, the girl was absolutely beaming, and there was no way to avoid it. This girl was going to absolutely fucking destroy him if he let his guard down.
He may have already let it down just a little too much.
“It's a start, at least, Umako,” Akane cheered, “And, uh, if that thing about being cursed to be near Ranma is true, then don't worry. We can work through it, awright?”
“... Yeah, thanks ‘Kane,” Ranma fake smiled back, knowing that the cure he needed wasn't what Akane was anticipating, “I appreciate it.”