Work Text:
- is it really hard to believe that i hate you as much as others
- no, but it's hard to believe that you will act up about it
...
- what are you doing martin
- just walking i guess. i can't act up against you, right. so what's bad can happen if i will come closer
- * chuckle *
- hard to believe i can act up. huh. why? can you tell me why. it's interesting to hear the reason
- martin you worthless, pathetic-
- mhm mhm mhm yeah yeah yeah. i asked why. why do you think i am like this
- *chuckle*
- i know the answer i just want to hear it
- oh really
- yeah
- you think you ready to hear it
- oh i am so ready, Elias
- phh. okay
- your look. your voice. gestures, behavior. everything. it's everything martin. entire you are the reason
- you such a shithead Elias
- phah-
- you can't even tell this straight.
i am very fat guy with glasses, quiet mostly, with an eye tic, trembling voice, bringing tea to coworkers. that's that you mean by "pathetic" right?
- you said it
- and you mean it
- * slow claps * very cool performance martin. cool. you are so cool martin. now let's finish it
- i didn't get yet to the best part
- enough. i don't have time for your kindergarden theater. and you talk too much today. but this [ burning paper sound ] i don't like it martin. and you will stop doing it
- if you didn't notice i am not sitting on table burning anything. i am in front of you. Standing right. In front of you
- good. But i assume you will come back to burning statements as soon as i leave the room
- you will not leave this room, Elias
- ...oookay. i don't have time for whatever the hell was that. i am finishing it right now. not very exquisite way to shut you down, but, quick one.
*clears throat* [tape noise] your mother-
- [tape noise stops] hates me? oh i know. her eyes told me before yours
- ...
[tape noise] but you don't know why-
- [tape noise stops] i know exactly why. father face. which i have sticked to mine. had. father face we didn't see near by - she years ago, me never, at least not as much time to remember it myself. and yes she destroyed photoes. but what do you think, i didn't try to find him never? you think i couldn't find images on internet? of course i did, Elias
- [ steps ]
- of course i did.
what was it, Elias? a try to make me not able to look in the mirror? me bursting in tears about it? i did it long time ago, yes. but i went through. I added some. Things. Elias, i *Looove* looking in mirror, now *especially*. That fucker presense vanished after some pounds on, new haircut and glasses. he also wasn't into dandy poetic fashion you know. more into dirty all in beer and chips shirt and shorts. I used to wash floor with that shirts turning rugs every day, not a big deal to figure out who was wearing it once
so all of that is not. a bother.
- .... very cute family story martin but-
---
- *SOUND*
---
- is this cute?
- * cough, choking in blood *
- is this cute, Elias? a knife in your guts? going baaaaack
- *blood chocking* *try to catch breath* *wet screem in pain*
- ....and foooorth
- *blood coughing hard choking on blood wet throat sounds*
- is it?
[ splash ]
- fucking?
[ splash ]
- cute???
*short breaths try in catching breath, interrupted by blood choking*
- look. LOOK. IN MY EYES
- ...----
- actually you know. i don't care what you see in me. i see myself now. feel. much more about myself than other will ever tell me.
- ...gh-.. khhuhhh-.... u...uh-
- oooh nonono. last word here will be mine
...
(sounds of splashing blood from fast, fast faster going up and in knife smashing meat, bones, skull, going through to the floor)
...
[tape click]