Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter Text
A breeze ruffles through Alex’s clothes with clouds covering the sun. The wind touches Alex’s hair, his auburn curls shifting to meet the front of his face and shoulders. The sweater vest he has on isn’t doing anything to help stop him from getting cold, but it’s better than what he sees other people wearing. Fucking shorts and short-sleeves is insane, he thinks, unconsciously pulling down on his vest.
He’s standing on the sidewalk, thirty minutes early until school starts. He wanted to find the office and go to class without meeting anyone. After all, it’s the first day after fall break. He figured many kids would still either be too lazy to get their asses out of bed and their parents let them, or they’re still on vacation, too lazy to get their ass out of bed and do anything fun.
However, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Large groups of students, who Alex thinks half of them aren’t even friends, are talking with each other. He shied away from them, not wanting to get in trouble. His snappy remarks could do lots of damage, and he didn’t want any damage happening on his first day.
Alex, walking near the stairs, is anxious. He wants to go inside, but the building itself is intimidating. It’s almost like a university campus. Huge quartz pillars on the sides of three sets of double doors. The walls were made of bricks and the windows were from the bottom to the top of the roof. The staircase was a long walk itself, and the landscaping and area around the building itself was shocking. He didn't even know New York had the space for high schools like this, but he decided not to consider the money component.
Nevis wasn’t like this at all. The middle school he went to for a year was a fraction of the football field they had in the back. The desks and chairs were crappy, and the building itself was shit. The only place he could deem worthy were the beaches and tourist areas. The curated towns that were made prettier and safer—even though the residents need it more—always made him happy. Like life wasn’t as bad as it seemed. The shops and activities always made him smile, despite whatever his father would be doing to him. The beaches were Alex’s favorite part of Nevis. Crystal clear waters and trees that just breathed life. The sand was smooth, Alex’s favorite part of the beach. He always had memories of building sand castles with James and his mother always reminded him of what he lost.
The hurricane, the recovery, and finding their dead-
No.
Alex’s thoughts snap to the present, the feeling of a small ghost looming over his shoulder making him close his eyes. Images flash through his mind. Someone reaching for him, screaming. A dead dog, blood running down its snout and legs. James dead… not again. He needed to ground himself, and trauma wasn't going to make that easier. He opened them, the cold ghostly feeling of a bird no longer perched on his shoulder. Alex moves his hands towards the metal railing that enclosed the edge of the stairs. It felt cold, but welcoming somehow. Like starting his new beginning.
Alex wants that. A new beginning. A guy gives him a smile, blond hair perched on his shoulders—and a sick outfit on as well—already makes him hope for the better.
Chapter 2: Chapter One
Chapter Text
Alex feels the cold air get shoved into his face after he opens the door. He walks in, people already staring at him. Judging, piercing eyes from huge cliques, wondering if he's the next person going to take their number one popularity spot. Smaller groups, however, look at him with interest. Some people smile, but most just turn their attention away. Alex walks towards the first hallway on the right, seeing a small glimpse of ‘Main Office’ in the corner of his eye.
Starting to walk down that hallway, he starts to introspect on his anxiety. He just got here, fear isn’t something that makes a lot of sense if he’s thinking about how everyone will leave him. He just got here. Not only that, he can’t afford to slip up anyway. If people think he’s some weird, angsty kid because he starts to play through memories from Nevis that make him cry, Alex would never forgive himself for embarrassing his ass in front of a whole class.
He spots a lady walking on his right, going to the lobby. Her hands are shaking while she seems to be walking faster than her normal pace. Her eyes are glued to the floor with her eyebrows furrowed until they almost touch. She’s angry, Alex thinks, but at who? He instantly shifts his gaze away once the lady looks up, eyes glancing towards him. Alex presses his arms into his sides, a familiar tremor welcoming itself to his hands. He takes in a gulp of air, trying to keep himself silent.
Alex didn’t realize how slow he was walking, finally making it to the office, and man was it big. There were three separate rooms, each with its own use. There was a meeting room, a room for student necessities, and a staff break room. Teachers and administrators were talking by the counter in the back, holding cups of coffee and gisting with each other. Smiles were on multiple faces, but spotting the fakes was easy. A man’s smile wasn’t reaching his eyes, making them look lost and lifeless. They didn't have a glint of happiness in them either.
He’s not having it today, Alex thinks. Seeing his coworker, it was obvious to see why. She was overly bubbly, probably buzzed on caffeine. All touchy and dramatic, stuff that was happening too early. It’s fucking 7:30am. What if they're already judging me? Alex sighs and cringes internally, his thoughts getting ahead of himself. They don’t even know your name, Alex, he thinks. Stop being fucking dramatic for two seconds.
Stumbling back, Alex puffs out a breath he forgot he was holding. Some adults stare at him, making his hands quickly reach for something to tug on. The bottom hem of his vest was the victim again. Why was he holding his breath? His lapse in memory didn’t happen often unless he was getting too riled up. But nothing was wrong, he’s just a bit anxious. He was already analyzing people’s body language, a habit he does to focus his mind when it gets too rowdy and full of fears. Oh…
Alex takes a deep breath, reassuring himself everything will be fine. He glances over to his right, heading to the words ‘Student Necessities’ on a little sign next to a door. He takes the handle and pulls the door open. Walking in, he already smells an abundance of coffee previously roasted mixed with honeysuckle and rose. He sees some adults—mainly older women. They had on lots of fancy dresses for such a casual job, but Alex noticed that the patterns were kinda cute—hyper focused on their work, the clicking and clacking of keyboard keys more than enough to prove him right. A woman slightly on the right gestured for him to come to her.
He walks over to the lady, his fingers fiddling with his bag strap a lot. He looks at her, seeing a nice high bun full of light brown hair and glasses on her face. She’s wearing a light blue blouse with small ruffles on the sleeves and surrounding the buttons. She smiles, calming Alex’s nerves. He didn’t know why, but he felt nice and comfortable around her. It was weird, not even knowing why. But still, he’ll take a small win for shifting into real high school society.
“Hello honey, you’re here quite early, especially after a break,” she says softly, “Do you need something?”
“I… My name's Alexander Hamilton. I’m new here. Are you supposed to go here if you’re coming from somewhere else as a last minute thing?” Alex asks, his words falling out of his mouth rapidly. The woman nods, already typing away, like she knew something about this situation. “Oh, great. I was wondering if you were able to print out my schedule and if you possibly have a locker for me.” His hand was tightening his grip on his bag strap. His other finger fiddles with the bottom hem of his vest again. God, it was going to be a long day today.
“Oh sure, honey,” she responds, “Just give me a moment.” Her attention goes to her computer quickly, the sound of fast tapping filling some of the close silence between her and Alex. Rolling away, her rapt attention gets disturbed by something, though not for too long, as she’s soon back to typing away. After a while, she rolls her chair back to him, a paper and a card in her hand.
“Your schedule is on the paper, locker number on your new ID card,” the lady says softly. It calms Alex down somehow, the lady’s voice sounding familiar. He smiles, internally trying to find the reason why he felt so comfortable around her.
“One more thing,” the lady calls out. Alex’s attention snaps to her confused. “If you need anything at all son, just come to me. You seem like a nice kid. I’m Mrs. Washington by the way, my husband is coincidentally your history teacher and your first period. I hope you have an amazing first year at Dominion High School.”
“Thank you ma’am,” Alex responds with a small smile on his face. “I hope you have a good day.”
Alex walks out the room, inspecting the office again. The tired man who was here earlier with his coworker is nowhere to be seen. The lady however is traumatizing another one of her victims with her perkiness this morning. Alex wasn’t really in the mood for being late, so he decides to head to Mr. Washingtons’s room.
Something still bothers Alex about being comfortable around Mrs. Washington. His thoughts go back to the woman, another one appearing in his mind. Dark brown hair, lightly tanned skin, lovely light blue eyes—they seem to shine a pretty lavender when the sun hits it in the right direction—and a soft touch and voice. They seem the exact same not by looks, but by personality. Misty memories start in his mind, and a connection starts to form.
She reminds me of…
A strong woman who cares and loves with all her heart. A woman who stands up to injustice, whether it affects her or not. A woman who died doing what she does best, saving others. A woman who Alex called his mom.
He wants to cry, just drop down to his knees and sob. But he can’t find it in himself to do anything but stare at his memories shared with her with no other emotion but swallowing guilt. A bare-faced regret just stoic in his mind.
She deserved to live, not waste such a good life saving me.
“Fucking dammit, Alex,” he mutters to himself. He can’t just stop feeling anxious or depressed for two seconds. Alex bites the inside of his cheek, a sob he didn’t know was holding in coming up his throat. He exhales his breath, a shaky sigh on the verge of a sob coming out of his mouth.
Alex walks down the 800s hallway, seeing multiple classroom doors with the lights on. The teachers inside are either grading things, on their computer, or downing a cup of coffee. Alex’s gaze is on the floor, mind empty of thoughts and ideas. He just continued to walk.
Nearing the end of the hallway, Alex finds Mr. Washington’s room on his right. He has historical figures as chibi stickers all across the window and some on the door. He tries the handle, pushing down on it. The door opens, but Alex doesn’t find anyone. The lights are on, the chairs are pushed into their desks, but he isn’t here. That’s weird, Alex muses. He lifts his hand off of the handle and walks the other direction.
Alex walks down the hallway, noticing the growing amount of students walking around him. His eyes turn towards the floor, not wanting to bring any attention to himself. He inspects the floor, seeing the marble tiles cut into small rectangles. Its color was a mix of a light brown and a slightly darker one, giving it texture and making it interesting. He changes his gaze to the walls. They were made out of dark red, probably Burgundy, bricks that reached the ceiling. The ceiling had wood planks, either newly placed or freshly stained based on the color.
“Damn, they’re rich,” Alex mutters, the feeling of being rich perched on his shoulder.
Suddenly, a bell rings loudly, the sound echoing in Alex’s ears.The students he didn’t acknowledge surrounding him started to leave to go to their first period. Alex sighs, turning back around, a curl falling in front of his face. It flies back in place as a football whizzes over his head. He quickly sees a boy—it was the same one that waved to him. He was wearing some dark blue cargo pants with a white t-shirt. He had on a varsity jacket with the school's logo—charging towards him with a smile on his face.
Alex quickly moves to the right, and the boy turns around and catches the ball, unconsciously swerving the same way Alex moved. Great! Alex didn’t fall embarrassing the absolute-
THUD!
The boy’s momentum made him lean back on Alex, making them both fall on their backs. Alex’s hurt more because he just fucking met the floor, but whatever. It’s also not as if the largest crowd also saw that. All the kids who the boy on top of him seemed to know started laughing, and the boy on top of him laughed along with them.
“Hey boys! You have two minutes until class starts! Get a move on!” A teacher yells, making some of the group in the back scurry off. Alex shoves the boy off of him before dusting himself off.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Alex asks, glaring at the boy. The boy doesn’t acknowledge him, instead already going to class, but Alex grabs his jacket collar, which stops him.
“What? What did I do?” The boy asks, shoving Alex’s hand off of his shoulder. He gives Alex a glare, and Alex gulps moving his hands behind his back.
“I-I… you made me fall!” Alex decides on yelling.
“Boys! Go to your class, now!” A teacher yells, walking over to them. The teacher gives Alex a hard glare full of suspicion. The boy runs to his class down the same hallway as Mr. Washington’s, looking back at Alex. Alex goes down the same hallway, the eyes of the guard still looking at him. He shrugs it off, not wanting to cause any more trouble.
It was one interaction, Alex, he thinks, you’re going to be fine. He quickly walks to the 800s hallway, where Mr. Washington’s room is. Another bell rings, signaling that class has started. Alex huffs, and he starts to run down the hallway. Every time he comes close to a classroom window, he slows steps down, not wanting to get into trouble and already making his day worse than it is.
He finally makes it to Mr. Washington’s door. He grabs the handle and pushes it down, hearing a click that opens the door. He stares into the classroom, trying to find an empty chair.
“Why are you late?” Mr. Washington asks, cutting straight to the chase. Alex faces him, a curl falling in front of his face. He hears a chuckle in the back of the room. He looks over to the noise, and he sees the same boy that pushed him.
Fuck no.
Chapter 3: Chapter Two
Chapter Text
Alex stares at him until a voice pulls him from his thoughts. Mr. Washington says, “Excuse me, young man. Why are you late?”
Alex turns to him, not really knowing what to say. He decides on, “I’m new here, and I got lost.”
Mr. Washington nods before looking down at his computer. He looks up and exclaims, “You’re Alexander, I remember. Go have a seat in the back next to John.”
Alex looks over to the back row to see John, the same boy who pushed him in the hallway. Not wanting to complain currently, he walks over to the back and takes his seat next to him. His bag slides off his shoulder, and Alex rests his head in his arms. He glances over to John who doesn’t seem to be listening to Mr. Washington, but as soon as his attention turns towards Alex, Alex whips his head to face the board.
He hears John scoff as he rests his head in his hand. He mutters, “Don’t try to pretend you weren’t looking at me, Alexander.”
Alex doesn’t acknowledge him, trying to focus on catching up with what he missed. Despite that, he feels John’s glare on him. He grabs his notebook from his bag, but as soon as he opens a page, the urge to focus fades from him. He has a great memory—that’s how he afforded this trip to move to New York from Nevis—but he isn’t the best at focusing. He hates how he misses important information like that. A kick to his leg makes him whip his head around to look at John.
“Where’re you from? I haven’t heard of you coming here,” John asks. Alex just stares at him confused.
“Why the hell would I give you information about myself when the first way we meet is you fucking falling on me?” Alex snaps, “At least ask me my favorite color or something.”
“I’m trying to at least try to talk to you if you couldn’t see. And why are you being so defensive anyway? I’m not asking something stupidly personal,” John says. Alex huffs, turning his attention back to the board.
Nevis is personal to him. It’s one of the defining parts about who he is. If Nevis hadn't been there, then he wouldn’t be who he is right now. But the stained memories sometimes make him wish that Nevis… wasn’t a thing.
“Well?” John mutters, pulling Alex away from his thoughts. He looks over at Alex, and he sees genuine curiosity in his eyes. A warm feeling appears in Alex’s stomach, but he doesn’t know what for. Confused, he shakes his head.
“Why not?”
“I just don’t want to tell you, okay?” Alex says, resting his head in his hands.
“Alexander! Could you give us a recap of our lesson so far before we split into groups?” Mr. Washington says sternly, catching him off guard. Alex sits up straight, looking at Mr. Washington.
Alex scans the board, looking for any clues. All he sees is dates upon dates and multiple names he doesn’t recall hearing in the back of his head. "I... um..." Alex mutters before shaking his head. He sinks back into his chair, his head facing the ground. He hears small snickers from John which makes him huff.
"John! What were we even discussing before this? Maybe you could recap us?" Mr. Washington says, noticing his quiet laughter. John looks over to the board, and then his notebook. The current page is empty. Alex silently chuckles at his inattention.
"No, sir," John mumbles. Mr. Washington huffs, capping his whiteboard marker. He walks over to the two boys, who are sitting at the back. He crosses his arm and looks at them sternly.
"You two, meet me outside," he says, pointing to the door. Washington walks back to the front of the room to count people into groups.
Alex pushes his chair and stands up before heading towards the door. He opens the door and holds it, seeing as John was trailing behind him. Out of spite, once John gets to the door, he lets go and it closes in his face. Alex snickers to himself quietly before leaning on the wooden wall next to the door. John walks out the room, glaring at Alex. He leans next to Alex, but doesn't bother to even look at him.
Alex takes glances at John, and damn, he’s attractive. But obviously, it’s just one guy to another… despite him being bisexual. Whatever. John has surprisingly long hair. It reaches past his shoulder in a half up half down style. The ponytail is tied up with a royal blue scrunchie. It's a light blonde color, and it shines when the sun lands its rays onto him.
His face and build is another thing in itself. He has broad shoulders and is quite tall. He doesn’t tower over Alex, but he still has to look up at him to meet his eyes. His eyes are light blue and shaped like a slim almond. They also glisten in the sun when it eventually hits them. His lips are in a line, slim and light pink. They look… kissable, from a girl’s perspective. Who is he kidding? From his perspective too.
But what the fuck?
He’s just met the guy, and he doesn’t like him at all. Being in his presence makes him want to pull his hair out. Looking at his face makes him want to punch it… or kiss it.
Stop.
“I know you’re looking at me,” John says, giving a glance to Alex. “Again. Please, if you’re trying to admire me, make it not noticeable. The feeling of your eyes creeps me the crap out.”
“I’m not,” Alex says, crossing his arms.
“You fucking are. Don’t play with me like that,” John snaps.
“Give me one good reason why I would want to look at Mr. ‘I’m a high school stereotype?’” Alex responds.
“Because they’re always the ones that are attractive?” John says, a sly smile appearing on his face.
Alex heard the door close, and looking at the door, he sees Mr. Washington looking at them with an annoyed look on his face.
"It's the first day after fall break," he says, running a hand down his face in exasperation. "Why do we already have an issue?"
"Would it be bad to say I just don’t like John?" Alex says, pointing to him. John scoffs in response.
"What the hell have I done?" John retorts, making Alex glare at him.”I’ve seen you like, three times today alone!”
“You’ve acted three different ways in those five seconds we’ve had. Are you bipolar or something?” Alex snaps.
“Alexander! Number one, that’s not something to just insult someone with. It’s a real condition which should be treated seriously. Number two, you can’t keep throwing insults at him. Same thing to you, John.” Mr. Washington puts his hand against the door. He looks at the both of them with an unwavering stern expression.
“But he needs them because seemingly his ego is too big to handle facts over glorified praise,” Alex mutters.
“Alexander!”
“Just… what is the meaning of the drama already?” He asks.
“He fell on me,” Alex admits.
“That's it? That cannot be it,” Mr. Washington sighs. He pinches his nose.
“You want details? He was playing football in the middle of the hallway with all of his friends, and while I tried to move out of the way, he moved the same freaking way. Pushed me towards the ground while staying on me. Didn’t even apologize for it,” Alex explains, small hand motions demonstrating each position.
"You want an apology? How old are you? Seven?” John asks sarcastically. “In this amazing world called high school, you better get used to people being bitchy and not apologizing, me included.”
“Language, John,” Mr. Washington scolds. “And also, that’s wrong. People should and do still apologize to each other because that’s called being respectful.”
“See, John? Your pride is making you into a politician,” Alex says. In the corner of his vision, he sees Mr. Washington holding in a small laugh.
"Alexander! This is the third time I’ve said your name! You need to just shut up, huh?" Washington yells, catching the attention of them both. A student at the other end of the hallway starts to quickly run into their classroom.
“And John, don’t try to act like you're above any new students because this is the second time you’ve done this, and in Sophomore year. I don’t know how, but anything is possible.”
“I don’t want an argument like this to happen again. Disrupting class shouldn't happen because of petty feelings. If I catch flight of this, both of you are having detention with Mr. Adams. Am I clear?” Mr. Washington asks. Both boys nod as the bell rings.