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Chapter Text

Chapter 1

On an adventure

-Damn Ludwig! Can you smile, please? -

The blond stopped looking out the window of the black car that was speeding through the orderly German countryside, and turned annoyed towards his older brother who was driving.

A smile asked him? What smile could he have given? He had practically been kidnapped by his brother and his two friends for... what did they say? Ah, yes: “going on an adventure”.

Basically a holiday put together in a hurry where he found himself entangled without being able to object.

Already the fact that there was no certain destination or, at least, no plan drove him mad, if Gilbert were also involved with his idiotic and far-fetched speeches, then there was the serious danger that from there could almost commit murder.

-So, this smile? You're ruining the mood!-

-You could have left me at home to study, then. You know I have to take an exam soon.- Ludwig replied icily, maintaining an impassive expression, far too serious for a young man like him.

-Ah! Have you heard it? Instead of thanking his big brother for taking him on holiday, he insults me for not allowing him to study! - Gilbert blatantly said to the two young people sitting in the back seats.

-Eh, mon petit Lud [my little Lud], your brother is right. A minimum of thanks is in order.- A man with long, wavy blond hair intervened, shooting him a look of mock reproach.

-¡Cierto! I absolutely agree. And then you'll see, it will be an unforgettable holiday. ¡Te gustarà un montòn! [you will like it a lot]- continued the second one with amber skin and black hair in a jovial tone.

-Did you hear?- said Gilbert, giving to the minor a satisfied look -Francis and Antonio also agree with me.-

“Oh, come on!” Ludwig thought furiously. Those two were simply cut from the same cloth as their brother. What did that perverted vinophile and that penniless Spaniard know about what he liked? If they really had known, then they would have left him at home in his beloved German town, with his exams to prepare for, his thesis to finish and his drinks in company. But no! He had to take a break, they told him, because he would work his whole life anyway. A young man of his age had to live life and seize the day and not constantly toil away at books.

-Really, I would have preferred to stay at home.- Ludwig replied with conviction, returning to look out the window.

-I'm sure that in a few evenings you will change your mind...-

Mischievous giggles accompanied the comment thrown in by Gilbert, who expertly blocked any objections by turning on the radio at full volume.

Ludwig sighed in despair.

Oh Gott! What the heck did they have in mind?

* * *

-Here we are!-

The four boys, after hours on the motorway, had stopped in a small town in France, where Francis had taken charge of the situation by acting as an interpreter, given that the concept of bilingualism did not seem to exist in that place.

Ludwig was gradually realizing their destination: they were now very close to the Alps and it seemed that the three wanted to cross them. Furthermore, the light clothes that he had found in his suitcase together with his bathing suit had made him think of a warm place. Not that he was so sure after all; he had even tried to ask something, but those three, as expected, had replied with a wink: -It's a surprise.-

No, it's a kidnapping!

Gilbert put the suitcase on the floor as he took the room key from his pocket. Ludwig stopped to stare at the brass number hanging on the light wooden door: room 13. What was it? A sign?

The boys entered and stopped to study it: there were two single beds and a bunk bed, the classic desk with two chairs, an old television and a brown carpet that clashed with the pale yellow of the walls. Only positive thing to take into consideration was the balcony outside the window.

-It's not bad. Me gusta mucho. [I like it.]- Antonio said, moving towards the top bed, but was almost immediately intercepted by Gilbert who threw himself like an angel onto the mattress, shouting: -The bed above is mine!-

Ludwig sighed resignedly and settled down on the furthest bed; he wished he had a single room rather than having to share one with those three. To say that they worried him was an understatement.

He scowled at Antonio who was still trying to drag Gilbert off the bunk bed, claiming he "saw it before." How old are they?

His brother had met them while he was on Erasmus in England and since then they had become inseparable: they practically always spoke and often visited each other at each other's houses. To Ludwig, however, their ways continued to seem strange, almost too intimate at times: it was true that he hated any form of physical contact, but it didn't seem equally normal to him to always hug or continually tease each other with disturbing, mischievous jokes. Sometimes he caught Francis staring at him with a disturbing smile on his face. No, no, better not have anything to do with those at all.

-Alors Lud [So, Lud], how does the room look to you?-

We're talking about the devil...

The blond looked up at the Frenchman who was looking at him smiling.

-It's not bad.- he replied calmly, unpacking his suitcase. Suddenly he felt Francis' arm slide around his shoulders. He tensed noticeably as he tried to distance himself as much as possible: he hated when people got too confiding, ergo he hated Francis.

-Come on Lud! Look, this evening I swear you will have fun.- the Frenchman began and then attracted the attention of the other two who were still fighting over the bed.

-Mes amis [My friends]! This evening I'll take you to drink in a special place. What do you say? -

At the word "drink" Ludwig's gaze lit up slightly: well, maybe that evening he could really have some fun, or maybe even just get drunk. Yes, he liked the second option better.

-Where are you taking us?-

-No, it's a surprise.-

-Come on Francis, tell us!-

-That's fine. Have you ever been to a wine bar? -

The younger man's slightly relieved expression immediately turned dark. It was true that Francis' English was terrible, but this time he feared he had heard correctly: winebar. So a place where only wine was drunk. And in short, no beer. Scheiße [shit]!

Chapter Text

Two brothers

-I'LL KILL HIM!-

-Lovi, please calm down...-

-No, I won't calm down! I swear I'll kill him!-

-Lovi stop it, you scare me... it's not that serious.-

-It's not that serious?! Fuck! But don't you see how you are reduced? How can you say it's not serious? -

-It will pass...-

Lovino just couldn't understand his brother. It was true that theirs was a shitty job: working in a night club certainly wasn't his lifelong dream, but damn! At least they were covered if they got some crazy guys taking advantage of them. Why didn't Feliciano want to understand this simple thing?

Feliciano held back a slight moan while his brother treated a little too energetically his broken lip and the various purple bruises that stood out on his pale face and thin arms.

Lovino gasped, in embarrassment.

-Sorry...-

-It doesn't matter.-

Lovino stared at the minor's big, smiling eyes for a moment before blurting out annoyed: -This wouldn't have happened if you had listened to me. How much does it cost you to escape when those troglodytes go too far? -

No response. As always...

They had been prostituting themselves in that hateful Night Club for two years now, but the times Lovino had had bad experiences could be counted on one hand, unlike Feliciano.

Every time the eldest went to check on the youngest after the evenings, he almost always had to improvise as a nurse. The worst, however, was when he found him half unconscious on the bed. He remembered having made the guy who had reduced him like this pay very dearly...

But how on earth did Feliciano manage to attract the sickest and most perverted?

-Lovi, that's enough, now I'll put a band-aid on it.-

-Are you sure? Look, if you want I can cure it better.-

The smaller one's hand slipped onto the older one, lowering it.

-Like I said, it will pass. Don't worry.-

Feliciano's tone was so sincere and serene that it devastated him. Lovino followed him with his gaze as he got up from the bed they were sitting on and headed towards the kitchen of their miserable apartment on the outskirts of Rimini: the city of young people, of fun they said, but for the two Vargas brothers it was only a sentence. They didn't deserve that life, not at all; two boys in their early twenties should have studied, had fun with friends and not had to give themselves up to the highest bidder.

What had they done wrong? What was wrong with them?

-Lovi, do you want something to drink?-

Feliciano's gentle voice penetrated his brother's dark thoughts.

-No Feli, thanks.-

-Are you sure? I can make you a herbal tea with some biscuits. Last time at the restaurant they taught me a quick and easy recipe. I brought some!-

Lovino smiled and watched his brother slip into the kitchen, having already made up his mind for both of them.

-Stop bragging! Look, I know you're good at cooking.-

One of the few things that kept them going on, were their dreams: cooking for Feliciano and music for Lovino. Both took time away from that humiliating job, one working in a small restaurant in Riccione*, the other being the vocalist of a group. It wasn't much, but still a pleasant distraction from the shitty life they had to lead. The people they met weren't bad either; Arthur and Alfred, although they had sensed the not-so-clean situation they were stuck in, had not abandoned them like everyone else.

-Here it is! Lemon balm herbal tea and ginger biscuits.-

Lovino jumped when he found himself in front of his brother holding a tray with a steaming cup with an inviting smell and some biscuits on it.

-What impeccable service!- Lovino joked with a smile.

-At your service.- Feliciano replied with a small bow, handing him the herbal tea and sitting next to him.

-Thanks...- the other murmured gratefully, blowing on the boiling liquid.

For a few minutes Lovino calmly drank the herbal tea, enjoying that fresh and slightly spicy flavor that seemed like mint and munching on the biscuits; yes, Feli had really improved in the kitchen.

-Ah Lovi! I was about to forget about it. Antonio called today.-

Lovino swallowed the drink too quickly and it ended up up his nose, risking choking him.

-Ah! Lovi! Lovi, are you okay? - Feliciano shouted, giving him powerful pats on the back.

-Yes, yes... it's nothing.- said the major, clearing his throat.

Feliciano looked at him, smiling.

-So? Aren't you happy? -

-Why should I? And stop smiling so much or the cut on your lip will reopen! - Lovino shouted, nervously sipping the drink.

The minor looked at him curiously.

-Well, he hadn't come to visit us in a while. I thought it was nice...-

-Nice?-

Lovino gripped the cup between his fingers.

-That bastard isn't the "nice thing" type, how many times do I have to tell you?-

Feliciano looked reproachful.

-Lovino, you're not nice at all. You know very well that 'Tonio always tries to help us. Stop being unpleasant.-

-And you stop defending that exploiter!-

Lovino snapped at the smaller one, glaring at him angrily.

Feliciano just couldn't understand, he would never understand: for him people were always good and kind, but the reality was very different...

Lovino gripped the cup tighter.

Why? Why had that bastard called them? He hadn't been heard or seen for more than two months, how dare he now call as if nothing had happened?

-Antonio never took advantage of us.- said Feliciano while holding his brother's accusatory gaze. -The fact that he didn't make himself heard for a while doesn't give you the right to accuse him in this way.-

Lovino lowered his head abruptly, mechanically drinking what little herbal tea remained. He hated when his brother made him feel like he was wrong. Luckily, it didn't happen often.

-He told me that he couldn't come earlier because he had problems with work.- the minor continued.

-What kind of problems?- Lovino asked softly, trying to hide a slight worry. Feliciano seemed not to notice and replied: -He didn't explain it to me, but he said not to worry because everything is fine now and he will arrive in Rimini in two days. He also said that he misses you so much and that he's sorry he wasn't able to call sooner.-

Lovino felt his stomach a little lighter and felt his cheeks turning red with annoyance. He jumped up from the bed and placed the tray with the cup on a table, hoping that his heart would stop beating so fast.

-Anyway, I don't apologize him! As soon as he arrives I'll scold him. He can't just disappear like that without saying anything.-

He clearly heard Feliciano chuckle and lie down on the bed.

-I am sleepy. Are you coming to sleep too, Lovi? -

-In a little while.-

The major heard him curl up in the sheets, then Lovino leaves the bedroom and heading towards the bathroom. He stood in front of the mirror and stared at himself: the blush had vanished, but he felt inside himself that absurd happiness that came out every time the Spaniard showed up. Those sensations bothered him, he didn't like feeling so attached to someone other than his brother. And then why feel this way about that stupid idiot? What was so special about it? He sighed deeply, unable, or to be precise, not wanting to find an answer for the umpteenth time.

They had met the year before during an evening at the Night Club, where for the first time Lovino found himself talking to someone about his and his brother's situation. Since then Antonio sent him money every month to help them get out of that bad situation. He had never understood why he did it; maybe one day he would find the courage to ask him.

When he returned to the room, he found his little brother already asleep, clutching a pillow. He sat next to him, staring at his brown locks and gently smoothing them behind his ear, revealing one of the bruises that marred his thin face. He caress it slowly, pursing his lips.

What was the name of that asshole who spent the night with Feli? Oh well, he would ask to Ivan.

He got out of bed and took a quick look at the clock: half past ten. It was early but he would surely find someone ready to help him or at least cover for him.

He took the keys and left the house.

It wouldn't take long.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Attempted escape

-Woh! This is a hotel!-

Gilbert's whistle of appreciation resounded throughout the large room with bright cream-colored walls as, leaving his bag on the floor, he continued to look around with a satisfied smile.

-Il est incroyable![It's amazing!] There is also a hydromassage. I'll book it this evening!- Francis shouted, locking himself in the bathroom while Antonio dropped limply onto the orange sheets.

-Oh, esta sì que es una cama de verdad... [Oh, this is a real bed..]-

It was around nine p.m. when the four finally arrived at their destination: Rimini, the perfect place for Gilbert, Francis and Antonio, full of nightclubs, discos, pubs, places of entertainment, social parties. Yes, heaven for those three, but not for him: no, for Ludwig it was definitely the wrong city.

As soon as they arrived the poor boy had begun to feel incredibly hot, which he suffered terribly, and a lover of silence like him would never have been able to find peace in an Italian town, where people had to scream even if they were a few meters away. Plus, when they told him how long the holiday would last, he felt bad: one month with them and they would have had to take him back to Germany with the spoon. But why so much? One week wasn't good? It wasn't right for him to waste all of June like this, without doing anything.

-Hey Antonio! Come and see what a beautiful view. The sea at night is gorgeous! You can even see the port from up here! - Gilbert shouted from the balcony while the Spaniard, still lying on the bed with his cell phone in his hand, responded quickly: - Yes, yes, I'm coming, I reply to a message. -

-Stop playing with that thing and come here! -

-I told you I'm coming! Wait a minut...-

Antonio couldn't finish the sentence before he was immediately dragged out of the room by the German, and in the meantime the phone was flashing, forgotten on the mattress.

Ludwig looked around: he was left alone.

Well. Perfect! This was the right opportunity to run away and return to his beloved normality.

He moved silently towards the door and left, quickly walking towards the reception. He had already thought of a simple and foolproof plan: he would book the first available flight to Berlin and be picked up at the airport, and then be able to finish his thesis in peace. Thinking about it already made him feel better. Luckily he had brought some money with him, although he was still surprised that he had forgotten his credit card at home.

He turned the last corridor, finding himself in front of the service counter, while he smiled with satisfaction seeing himself finally at home. What could go wrong?

-Could you book me a plane ticket to Berlin, please?- he asked to the young receptionist in English. However she looked at him displeased. Ludwig stared back in confusion: why was she looking at him like that? What was wrong? Maybe she didn't understand the language?

-I don't think it's possible, sir.- she replied in impeccable English.

-Excuse me?-

-Didn't you hear? Unfortunately the volcano in Iceland* has started to erupt again and all flights have been cancelled.-

Ludwig felt all his hopes shattered as, with his mouth open, he continued to stare at the woman in disbelief. No, it wasn't possible, he couldn't be that much of a loser, damn it!

-Do you want me to book a train for you?- the girl asked thoughtfully, seeing him so disappointed.

The boy shook his head weakly and left the hotel dejectedly.

A breath of warm air greeted him at the exit.

A month stuck in Italy... It seemed like a punishment to him, but for what? What had he done wrong to deserve such treatment?

He sighed loudly, pondering what to do: going back to the room with those three was out of the question, especially now that he knew he would have to live with them for almost a summer.

He set off without much desire along a rather busy street, hoping to find a place where he could drink a beer. Maybe even two.

* * *

-Hey, where's Ludwig?- Francis asked coming out of the bathroom.

The three boys looked around.

-I think he ran away.- Antonio hypothesized, sitting in an armchair intent on texting again.

Francis, dabbing his hair with a towel, sat on the bed next to Gilbert who, in a bored manner, was surfing the channel.

-Oh well, I don't think he'll go far.- said the German, not at all worried, turning off the TV.

Francis gave him a curious look.

-Why?-

-Well, when I packed his suitcase I "forgot" to put some money in it and I don't think he brought much with him.-

-And he doesn't have debit or credit cards?-

Gilbert grinned, theatrically pulling a laminated card from his pocket.

-I borrowed it.-

-You mean seized.-

-As you like.-

The German put the paper back and then continued: -Anyway, even if he had the money for a plane ticket, he couldn't move.-

Another grin appeared on the albino's pale face.

-I heard that volcano in Iceland erupted again, so all flights were cancelled.-

Francis burst into loud laughter and even Antonio chuckled in amusement from behind his cell phone.

-Oh mon Dieu! How unlucky our Lud.-

-You mean lucky! That boy has to start living, I can't see him toiling over books anymore.- Gilbert snorted, sneaking up on Antonio and then stealing his phone.

-Hey! Give it back to me!-

-Can we know who you've been talking to since we arrived?- asked the German, looking at the saved messages, while Antonio made an effort to take it back.

-It's none of your business!-

-Oh oh... Antonio, what are you hiding from us?-

-Nah, Francis! It's just his beautiful Italian.-

Gilbert threw the cell phone at the Frenchman, while the owner tried again to get it back.

-Oh, how cute! Have you read, Gilbert? They write to each other that they missed so much!-

-Francis! Give it back to me immediately! - Antonio shouted, jumping towards the raised arm of the Frenchman, who nonchalantly threw himself on the nearest bed and looked at him provocatively.

-Only if you give me a kiss...-

The Spaniard crossed his arms, frowning.

-Come on, Francis! I don't want to play.-

-Mmm... I do, instead.-

At that moment Gilbert treacherously grabbed Antonio and then threw himself onto the bed, ending up with all three of them on top of each other.

-Come on guys, stop it!- said the Spaniard, wriggling out of the embrace of the other two who were laughing like crazy -What if Ludwig came in?-

-Are you seriously interested?-

-No, but I don't want to see him traumatized for the whole holiday.-

Gilbert loosened his grip and rolled onto his back, staring thoughtfully at the ceiling.

-Well, I don't think it would disgust him that much.-

Francis and Antonio turned, intrigued by the comment.

-What do you mean?-

-Well, I don't think he disdains male company.-

An identical evil grin appeared on the faces of the two friends.

-Does your little brother like boys and you don't tell us anything?-

-It's not like he actually told me...- Gilbert said, absently scratching his ear. -I caught him watching a gay porn video on the computer and he made me swear not to tell.-

-Ullalà! See our modest Ludwig...- commented Francis with a mischievous light in his eyes.

-Don't fool yourself, it doesn't fit with you anyway.-

-And who said that? After all, I come from the homeland of love...-

-Ahahaha! Yes, of course! - Gilbert said, hitting his friend with a pillow -But I think you would be a little too direct with my little brother. I don't think he has very clear ideas yet.-

-We could clarify them for him.-

Francis and Gilbert turned towards Antonio who, after taking his cell phone back and opening a message, passed it to the two to have them read. A grin appeared on their faces.

-What do you think?-

Chapter Text

Siberian's Midnight

No, that wasn't possible...

He was dreaming, right?

Yes, it was just a dream, definitely!

Now Ludwig would close his eyes and, as soon as they reopened, he would wake up in the hotel room, perhaps even with Francis next to him watching him sleep with that disturbing smile of his; he didn't care, as long as he woke up from that nightmare!

Of course it wasn't like that.

The enormous purple neon sign continued to stand out before his eyes, illuminating the entrance to the white and light blue, Middle Eastern-style building.

It might have seemed like a nice building, if it hadn't been for the immense posters of women and men in rather intimate attitudes and for the two windows in which some young women performed and showed off in front of excited men and drooling.

This was too much...

-Ah, finally! “Siberian's Midnight”... hasn't changed at all.-

Ludwig turned shocked towards his brother, who was looking almost nostalgically at that place... aberrant!

-Wann wolltest du mir erzählen, dass wir in einen Nachtclub gehen?! [When were you going to tell me that we were going to a night club?!]- he shouted instinctively in German, not really managing to contain himself in front of the rudeness of that perverted brother and his friends who were giggling in amusement behind him. Did they find it very funny? Who knows if they would have had fun even with a broken nose...

Gilbert showed him one of his brightest smiles and, putting an arm around his shoulders, tried to calm him down, answering him in English so that the others could follow along.

-I told you it was a surprise, right? Oh, come on! Why do you always have to make that face?-

To say that the minor was glaring at him in a murder way was nothing.

-Mein Gott, Ludwig! It's just a night club.- Gilbert blurted out, crossing his arms.

-And what a night club!- added Antonio winking, interjecting into the discussion -It's the best on the Riviera Romagnola*, with gorgeous girls and boys, all at your service. Not to mention the midnight show...-

-We lost Antonio.- Francis commented in front of his friend's completely ecstatic expression.

Ludwig, however, had no longer followed the conversation, turning pale at the sound of a simple word.

"Boys?"

-Did you... take me to a gay club?!-

Gilbert couldn't have said... no, it was impossible, he had promised. And then not exactly those three! He couldn't have revealed his sexual tastes to anyone! Or maybe yes? Maybe that was why Francis had started to stay so close to him...

-No, don't worry!- Antonio replied with a big smile -It's a free place! This is why it is so famous.-

The young man stared at them in complete shock.

-Yes, you don't need to thank your wonderful big brother. Your being speechless is already enough.-

And so it was that Ludwig found himself sitting at a table in the circular room of the venue right in front of the stage, on which girls and boys performed much more than sensual dances, twirling around colored poles, while others entertained the audience directly at the table, serving him dishes and drinks personally and in rather unusual ways.

-Don't try to say that you don't like all of this.- Francis said, pointing to the various young people.

Ludwig pursed his lips trying to calm down: the fact was not that he didn't like that whole situation, but that the whole place saw his pleasure! Above all, he didn't want people to notice that he was blushing towards young ephebes rather than towards busty girls.

Damn, for him that had always been a private thing: a porn magazine in the bathroom or a hard video on the internet and not these blatant and... community things! With those three, then...

He sighed heavily, adjusting his shirt over his trousers which cleverly hid the treacherous excitement, born more from embarrassment than anything else.

-Antonio, stop getting so worked up! There are only five minutes left until midnight.-

In fact the Spaniard had not been calm for a single moment since they had entered: he had continuously looked at his watch and peeked behind the scenes every time they moved slightly. Once he even went to talk to some of the managers of the place. At first Ludwig almost had the urge to ask him what was the matter, but then wisely refrained.

-And remember to translate what the guy on stage says.- Gilbert blurted out, threatening his friend with a fruit skewer.

-Seguro, mi querido...[Sure, my dear...]- Antonio replied with a smile, leaning over slightly to gracefully bite into a cherry hanging from the stick.

Ludwig didn't have time to be shocked before the lights in the room dimmed and all the young people on the stage disappeared, leaving room for a man who began to attract the audience's attention by speaking into the microphone.

Antonio was pawing impatiently next to Ludwig as he quickly translated the presenter's words.

-He asked if we were enjoying.- he said after a powerful chorus of “Sì”[Yes] had erupted from the audience.

-Well, there was no need to ask, it was so obvious...- Francis commented with superiority.

-Now he is presenting the show and the dancers, the Vargas brothers.-

-And when will they arrive?- Gilbert asked impatiently.

At that moment the room almost trembled with the roar of the audience's screams and applause.

Antonio smiled brightly.

-Now.-

A spotlight illuminated two poles in the center of the stage and, to the sound of a well-known pop song, one of the boys made his appearance: he had straight dark brown hair, hidden by a black leather hat, the visor of which dramatically shadowed his thin face. His thin, lightly muscled body was covered by a black vest and equally dark tight trousers. Leaning with distracted grace against one of the poles, he slowly raised his face looking at the audience with a mischievous grimace of superiority.

Ludwig heard Antonio jump in his chair at the sight of the young man.

“So he was the one who was waiting...” Ludwig thought as he observed his companion's rapt expression.

In fact, he couldn't blame him: even he, who had managed to fight off annoying itching throughout the evening, could have given it a little thought.

When the second boy entered, however, it was the German who jumped loudly: if with the first there was the possibility of embroidering some fantasies on it, with this one he had already done so.

He had lighter hair, huge eyes and softer features, even if at that moment his expression was decidedly not very chaste, especially when, after shaking in rhythm with the music, he was holding on to the second pole and rubbing himself against it with enthusiasm.

He was wearing a semi-sheer white shirt and shorts that showed off the most beautiful legs Ludwig had ever seen; there was absolutely no comparison with those of the girls in the club, the German thought hypnotized as he watched them, graceful and sinuous, intertwine with each other.

The two began to dance in sync to the growing rhythm of the music, circling the rods and caressing them in a very explicit way. When the first lowered himself, letting the pole slide between his legs, the other sensually arched his back upwards, while his buttocks rubbed against the smooth iron.

Ludwig mentally thanked the darkness of the room, admiring how the boy with lighter hair bent backwards, showing a damn erotic expression on his face already damp with small drops of sweat, while his thin fingers descended slowly and lightly on the pole. Oh, how he envied that piece of iron at that moment!

Ludwig didn't even notice the three evil and satisfied grins around him; he was too caught up in all those twirls and languid glances thrown by the two dancers. Suddenly he no longer cared about being in total chaos, nor about the possible looks of the people around him, completely bewitched by that boy's perfect body.

The music began to lower, while the bass increased and the singer's voice became sensually hoarse.

The dark-haired boy suddenly grabbed the other, bringing him in front of him to the center of the stage, starting to caress his chest and hips with passionate gestures.

No, wait. What?!

Ludwig widened his eyes in amazement, waking up for a moment from his stupor. But weren't those two brothers? He was sure that Antonio had said that before, while he was translating. Maybe it was just a stage name? Yes, of course, they couldn't really be related.

Ludwig became convinced of this as he looked back at the two on stage with rapt attention: back to chest, the brunette's hands eagerly explored the other's soft and milky skin, while the latter let it happen, and very willingly judging by the expression of enjoyment on her face thrown back as he guided his hands over his body.

Their faces met and, with liquid looks of pleasure, they positioned themselves in front of each other: the dark-haired boy's eyes studied the other's body lustfully and, with a snap, he opened his shirt and began to kissing his smooth chest, while he, with deliciously flushed cheeks, sank his fingers into his brown locks and slowly began to push his face downwards.

Ludwig's throat suddenly went dry as he stared at those hands moving his face further and further down, past his chest, his sternum, his stomach; the dark-haired boy's tongue darted playfully inside the light-haired boy's navel, but he continued to push him further in that slow descent which he stopped only when the boy in front of him was forced to kneel and was now at the height of his groin, which he approached in a provocative manner. The brunette roughly grabbed the other's ass and then put one of his legs on his shoulder, following the increasingly pressing rhythm.

Ludwig, like the others next to him, leaned out with their mouths open, waiting for the kneeling boy to suddenly lower those useless shorts and bury his face between those perfect legs.

The two dancers, however, looked at each other: a quick, mischievous and complicit glance.

The standing one suddenly kicked the other away from him, abruptly interrupting the fantasies of the audience who cursed loudly. Even Ludwig let out a small groan of frustration.

The boys finished their dance with some vaulting on the poles and, as soon as the song was over, they quickly disappeared backstage.

-The Vargas Brothers!- shouted the presenter who returned to the stage, awakening several minds from their torpor.

-Oh mon Dieu! I didn't remember it being so... teasing.- Francis commented, taking a look at the faces of the other three. - And I think we have completely lost Antonio for this evening. - he finally shook a hand in front of his friend.

In fact, the Spaniard's expression was still ecstatic as he stared into space, still a spark of desire in his eyes.

-Mmm... in my opinion the one who had the most fun was someone else...- Gilbert said, sliding a hand between Ludwig's legs.

-What the fuck are you doing?!- the younger man cursed, completely red in the face, abruptly moving his brother's hand.

-Oh yes, you really had fun, little brother...-

-Gilbert, I swear I'll...-

Ludwig's threat was blocked by the voice of the presenter who had started speaking again.

-Hey Antonio, what is he saying?-

The Spaniard finally seemed to wake up from his torpor and said with amazement:-It seems there is some kind of lottery.-

-A lottery?- repeated Francis equally amazed -For what?-

-To spend a night with the Vargas brothers, I suppose.- Gilbert interjected, glancing at Antonio, who suddenly became serious.

Ludwig, even in the midst of the chaos of the room, noticed a lot of commotion behind the scenes.

-Well, we're lucky, aren't we? A pleasant surprise.- Antonio blurted out and returned to smiling cheerfully.

Ludwig snorted in annoyance: and to think that for a moment he really believed it was over. Well, anyway he knew very well that those contests were rigged, only those who had connections or money won, so he looked around to see who would go on stage.

-They will call two numbers, which correspond to the number of seats. Whoever is sitting on the chair with the drawn number will have to go on stage and receive a pass. The first will spend the evening with Lovino and the second with Feliciano.- Antonio quickly explained.

The first person to be called was a man in his forties who, encouraged by other people with whistles and giggles, went to get his pass.

Ludwig wasn't even listening anymore, too busy with the fact that he had a problem with his lower parts. It wasn't that he had enjoyed himself, as much as Gilbert claimed, but the show had been more exciting than expected, and now he didn't really know how to fix it: he imagined that many others in the room were in the same conditions as him, but unlike those who would surely have left from the club without caring about other people's comments, he was keen not to seem like a complete depraved person.

While he was still immersed in these thoughts, he heard the Spaniard next to him comment angrily: -Damn! I have the 6...-

-What number did they call?- asked Ludwig noticing the commotion around him.

-The 7th.-

The young German turned pale.

Here's how to dampen the excitement, in short. At least he no longer had any problems down there.

He raised his now burning face towards his companions, who looked at him with satisfied smiles.

-Ullalà petit Lud, you are really lucky this evening.-

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

 Smile 

-Mmm... how strange. I remembered that if you wanted to spend an evening with the midnight dancers, you had to book.-

Gilbert watched his brother slip very embarrassed backstage.

-I knew that too.- Antonio said seriously.

Francis gave him an apprehensive look, placing a hand on his shoulder.

-Mon ami [my friend], are you okay?-

-Lovino hadn't told me anything...-

The Spaniard's gaze, previously so satisfied and happy, was now worried, almost desperate, as he nervously played with the cocktail stick.

-Maybe he forgot.- the Frenchman tried to calm him down, but without achieving any results and in fact making the situation worse.

Antonio raised a skeptical eyebrow and, after having angrily removed his hand from his shoulder, coldly attacked his friend, raising his voice several tones.

-Francis, if you had to do a job like this, would you forget that in the evening you will have sex with the first person who comes along?!-

-Hey, hey, calm down guys!- Gilbert said, stepping in between, staring at Antonio harshly. -Okay, let's say this thing wasn't told to him, what do you want to do? Actually, what can you do? You know very well who runs this place, and it seems to me that Lovino also told you what happens if you don't follow the rules.-

Antonio lowered his gaze, defeated.

-And anyway, am I wrong or was it you who convinced Ludwig more than me and Francis to accept the prize?-

The Spaniard sighed heavily.

-I know Ludwig. At least, I trust him...-

* * *

By now Ludwig had lost count of how many times he had sent those three to shit.

“I would never have expected it from Antonio!” he commented to himself, thinking back to how much the Spaniard had insisted that he go. And to think that he seemed the calmest of all...

The girl who had accompanied him backstage stopped in front of a wooden door at the end of a corridor and then left.

Ludwig looked at the door skeptically: no, he really didn't want to have sex with a stranger, even if he was scary beautiful. He still hadn't been able to fully accept his sexuality, let alone go to bed with someone right away!

He looked around hopefully: maybe he would find an exit.

He turned into the only corridor there was and found only two more closed doors and the way to the stage. He sighed loudly and then turned back, deciding what to do.

After turning the corner, he heard someone slam one door and start knocking loudly on another. Instinctively Ludwig stopped and, hidden by the wall, looked curiously at who had so much enthusiasm: the dark-haired boy, who had danced shortly before, stood with his arms crossed and a furious expression in front of a door, waiting for it to open.

-Ivan! IVAN! Open up, damn it!-

To the German's amazement, the young man was shouting in English.

“Maybe he could tell me where the exit is...” Ludwig found himself thinking, scrutinizing him with interest: at that moment however, judging by the increasingly frowning features, it was better not to be noticed. He decided to wait for him, hoping that the future discussion wouldn't last too long.

He hid as best as possible behind the wall, while a man came out of the room at that moment: he was really very tall, at least six feet tall, with straight blond hair and an expression of candid amazement on his childish face.

-Lovino, is there perhaps a problem? - he asked slowly, with a strong Russian accent.

-A problem, you say? What is this story?! Lottery?-

-But Lovino, it's not the first time there have been awards. I thought you knew that.-

A naive smile appeared on that beardless face, definitely out of keeping with the harsh turn the conversation was taking. The younger man's cheeks, on the other hand, were swelling and blushing more and more, making him look like a large ripe tomato.

-But you always warned us! Tell us something, maybe? Who the fuck is the guy I have in my room now, huh? -

-I have no idea.-

Lovino suddenly turned pale, staring in disbelief at the other's calm expression.

-What... what do you mean?-

-They are simple customers who have won a prize.-

-Do... do we have to go with strangers? But what does your brain tell you?! At least one name, you'll have to know anything! -

The Italian was visibly holding back from jumping on Ivan, who instead, with an unusual calm, placed a huge hand on his slender shoulder.

-You see Lovino, lately we've had some...how can I say...complaints. And isn't it nice to have these problems with people, da?-

Lovino lowered his gaze full of anger and dodged the other's hand in annoyance.

-This was not in the contract. And I remind you that this is the last time we will have to deal with this show. We call ourselves out, you know.-

-We'll see after this evening.-

The young man suddenly raised his face, eyes widening, trying to reply.

-But I...-

-Good evening, Lovino.-

Ivan suddenly ended the discussion, then closing the door in the boy's face, who cursed under his breath.

Ludwig froze, completely shocked by what he had heard; all the time he had only been thinking about himself, completely forgetting that, in fact, those who should have been most worried were those young men. To them, he was a complete stranger, someone who might have taken advantage of the situation or perhaps given him some serious illness. These thoughts increased his sense of unease and the desire to escape from that place.

-Chi cazzo sei? Non puoi stare qui.- [-Who the fuck are you? You can't stay here.-]

Ludwig turned around suddenly, not having noticed the young dancer who had approached him and was now practically glaring at him. He had absolutely understood nothing of what he had said to him, and therefore the only thing he managed to do was look questioningly at that inquisitive face and stammer in German: -Was?- [-What?-]

Ludwig saw the boy roll his eyes impatiently, which then casually focused on his hand, which was still clutching the guest pass.

The young man's gaze became, if possible, even darker and more hostile.

-Ah. A customer.- he stated with detachment, changing his language and immediately asking: -Do you speak English?-

Ludwig nodded.

-You will have to spend the evening with Feliciano, right?-

That tone full of restrained anger, that fiery look of anger, that absurd situation in general, he didn't like at all, but Ludwig, clearing his throat, still decided to try a friendly approach.

-I think so, but I would like to ask you a...-

He realized he had definitely done everything wrong when he found himself slammed against the wall, the Italian's angry face one inch from his.

-Now listen to me carefully, you shitty Kraut, because I'll only tell you this once. Give even one scratch to my brother and I swear you will spend the rest of your life in hospital.-

That threat growled in his face took the words out of his mouth for a moment, but as soon as Ludwig found his voice, the dark-haired boy had already taken long strides down the corridor.

Ludwig ran a hand over his frowning face.

But what kind of place had those assholes taken him to?!

So in short, he was stuck in a night club, run by disreputable people, who had just threatened him with death: he would make them pay.

He hesitantly walked towards the room, hoping that at least the other boy would listen to him, and knocked politely before entering.

His heart skipped several beats at the spectacle that appeared before him: the young dancer was comfortably lying on a double bed right in front of him, covered only by his white shirt left open and his underwear.

Ludwig remained stunned in the doorway staring at him, his eyes lingering on those legs he had fallen in love with and which the dim light of the room made even more sensual.

-Be'? Non entri?*- [-Well? Aren't you coming in?*-]

Ludwig shook his head, recovering from that vision, and realizing that the young man was speaking to him in Italian.

He quickly cleared his throat and, aware of the blush on her cheeks, with his gaze lowered, he addressed him in English, hoping he understood.

-I'm sorry but I don't speak Italian.-

He raised his eyes slightly, just in time to see a smirk on the young man's face.

-You're lucky. I can speak English too.-

Ludwig sighed with relief: good, maybe he would have managed to establish a decent dialogue, all he had to do was keep a safe distance.

-Oh, good, perfect.- the German stammered, looking for the right words to begin the speech.

-What's your name?- asked the dancer, distracting him from his thoughts.

-L-Ludwig. Instead, you are Feliciano, right? -

-If you like...-

The blond swallowed: no, it couldn't work like that.

-Look, let's clarify things right away.-

-Um uhm, sure, but let's clarify them with the door closed, shall we?-

Well, things were getting complicated. But why did his head refuse to work?

Feliciano's eyes looked like two magnets and this was definitely not a good thing at that moment, not to mention the pose the Italian had chosen to lie down: semi-lying on the mattress, his thighs slightly bent and his lips obscenely parted in a mocking smile. By now it was totally useless for Ludwig to look away, since the image of that body was engraved in his mind.

He took a few breaths, trying to calm down.

-No, really, you don't have to think badly, I just wanted...-

-Uh? Sorry but I can't hear you with all the noise in the corridor.-

Ludwig looked at him confused: not even a fly was flying outside.

-And then, why don't you come closer? So we can talk better...-

Ok, it would have been difficult to communicate with him too.

He closed the door behind him, already feeling trapped, and took just a step closer, maintaining a careful safe distance. On the contrary Feliciano had gotten dangerously close, sitting on the edge of the bed right in front of him.

Ludwig felt his heart beating frantically and his forehead beading with sweat.

-Are you feeling well?-

Even the way he whispered those simple words increased the German's discomfort.

-N-not really... I need a toilet...-

-If you have any problems, I can help you...-

Ludwig blushed, which was rather strange considering that his face already had a more than scarlet color.

-No, it's not that kind of problem...- Ludwig said to the floor, unable in any way to support that boy's look full of malice.

-Can I check?-

The German's eyes widened as he felt himself being grabbed by those thin fingers: curious how such small, thin hands were so strong.

In an instant he found himself lying on the bed, the young Italian next to him. Ludwig groaned in embarrassment, distancing himself as much as possible from the other who, on the contrary, was insistently crawling towards him.

Feliciano stopped only when he was astride the poor German.

-Everything seems fine to me.- commented the Italian after checking Ludwig's face.

-No, it's not all right...- said the blond trying to get Feliciano off him: they were really too, too close.

-Actually I didn't want to come here.- Ludwig continued more and more desperately -Really, I was forced. I absolutely don't want to take advantage of you. Seriously, I really don't want to do...-

His flow of words was abruptly stopped by Feliciano's spiteful hand, resting lightly on the crotch of his trousers.

-Strange... it seems to me that your friend down here is saying the opposite.-

-N-no... no, really, I don't...-

-What is it? Don't you like me? -

The Italian's sullen face came frighteningly close to his.

-No, it's not that... it's...-

Feliciano touched his ear with his nose, tickling it slightly with his warm breath.

-Then relax and leave it to me...-

Ludwig swallowed dryly as the boy began to gently suck on the lobe and gently caressed his shoulders.

No, no, things were getting worse!

Ludwig felt his breathing speed up like crazy, while the young man's soft lips descended slowly on his neck, leaving a thin trail of fresh kisses.

It was the most pleasurable thing he had ever felt, but he didn't want it! But if he felt that way, why did he let him continue? Why did he allow those hot hands to explore his chest? Why couldn't he tear himself away from that damn passionate body?

Feliciano moved closer, unconsciously rubbing their pelvises. It was only then that Ludwig regained control of the situation and, with a jerk, grabbed the Italian's arms and abruptly pushed him away from him.

-I told you I don't want to!-

He felt the boy's arms begin to tremble and saw his hazel eyes, previously so seductive, staring at him in terror.

Ludwig let him go, rather embarrassed: he didn't want to scare him so much.

-Now listen to me: I only came here to tell you that I have absolutely no intention of spending an evening with you and now, please, tell me where the exit is.-

-You shouldn't leave.-

Feliciano had lowered his gaze, speaking in a more serious voice than ever.

-It's better if you stay here tonight.- he continued -For both of us.-

Ludwig looked for a long time at that body that had suddenly become frail and thin, and which was still trembling slightly.

-Okay, I'll stay here for a while, but I repeat that I don't want to do anything, okay?-

Ludwig got up from the bed, sighing.

-Is there anything to drink?-

-Inside the cabinet.-

The blond opened the door and took a can of beer, sipping it slowly, still feeling a slight rush of adrenaline.

-So you're more of a "look but don't touch" type.-

Ludwig turned towards the Italian lying on his back on the mattress, his legs dangling back and forth.

-If you want to put it like this...-

-And did you like the show?-

Ludwig nearly swallowed his beer.

Feliciano waited patiently for the answer, smoothing the folds of his shirt while another smile, not at all reassuring, curled his lips. Yet Ludwig thought he had been clear.

-It wasn't... bad...- the German mumbled, completely red again at the memory of the ballet.

-Oh, how happy I am! My brother and I worked on it for two weeks, but it never went well with him: he said I didn't slide well on the pole and so he always made me go up and down, and up and down again, and again...-

Ludwig coughed rather loudly, pursing his lips in an annoyed expression. That kid was playing with fire a little too much.

He turned around frowning, already ready to scold him, but this time Feliciano's smile had totally changed: no more malice or languid glances, but a serene and happy expression.

Ludwig was almost shocked by that sudden change, and Feliciano noticed it as he said: -I wanted to test you.-

-Why?-

-Well, you're not the first one who comes here saying he "doesn't want to do anything".-

The German was taken aback by that dry answer and what's more said with such ease.

-Come on, sit down!-

This invitation was also different from the previous ones: it almost seemed like two acquaintances who had met for a chat.

Ludwig walked towards a nearby chair, where he found some sexy women's underwear left on display.

-Do women come here too?-

The question came out spontaneously, but Ludwig regretted it almost immediately: out of everything he could have asked, did something so stupid really have to come up?

Feliciano, on the other hand, didn't seem to notice much.

-Sometimes, but usually nothing happens.-

-And they still forget their underwear?-

Feliciano burst out laughing.

-No! That's our stuff. We have to wear it if customers ask us to.-

Well, after this Ludwig would have wanted to bury himself, but the Italian, just like before, didn't seem to mind.

-You don't seem like the type who hangs around these places. Why you came here? Have you lost a bet?-

“Worse...” the German found himself thinking dejectedly.

-No, some friends dragged me there.-

Ludwig raised his face towards the other's: that smile hadn't changed, on the contrary, it seemed to become more and more relaxed with each passing second and, in fact, he could even understand it. If he had had to do such a job, he would have been decidedly grateful to the client who had not taken advantage of the situation. Now looking at him carefully, what he had in front of him almost looked like a high school kid, with the beardless face and narrow shoulders of someone who has yet to develop. But behind that child's mask, there was hidden a person who had grown up too quickly, who had known with brutality the wickedness of the world, aware that he had not deserved even half of it.

-How long have you been doing this job?-

The question came out timidly, fearful of destroying that adorable smile, but it continued to remain proud on her thin face.

-Two years.-

-And you've never thought about changing it?-

Feliciano took a while to respond, while his hand drew invisible circles on the black cherry-colored blankets.

-In our free time, my brother and I do other jobs. I cook and he sings. You know, Lovino is really good at singing, one day you should come and listen to him.-

-So you two are really brothers?- asked Ludwig, ignoring the boy's candid invitation.

With this question, the German understood that he had dared too much, given that the Italian gave him a look, although still friendly, veiled in reproach.

-Yes, we are brothers and we also love each other very much, but what we do on stage is only for pretend.-

Ludwig blushed violently as he lowered his head in apology. He didn't think he would get to the point so quickly: he didn't imagine that little boy was so perceptive.

-Anyway, we don't want to work here for much longer.- Feliciano continued -We just need to earn some more money. For now we have put aside enough and then there is also Antonio who gives us a hand, so...-

-Antonio?-

-Ah, he's Lovino's boyfriend. He's a really nice and kind guy. Sometimes he sends some money to help us. He even invited us to his house in Spain!-

Everything was finally clearer to Ludwig: the holiday in Rimini, the entire evenings the Spaniard spent on the phone, that evening's insistence that he accept the prize. All just to protect, even if for a few hours, at least one of the two boys. Instead, he wasn't even that surprised when he discovered that Antonio was gay: among those three, he wondered who wasn't...

Ludwig found himself smiling as he said: -This evening your friend was in the room during the show.-

Feliciano's eyes widened in surprise.

-Really?-

-Yes, he was the one who brought me here.-

-And how is he? He's fine, right? When is he coming to visit us? Ah, Lovi will be so happy to see him!-

Feliciano continued throughout the evening to bombard him with questions and tell anecdotes about Antonio and how they had met, with Ludwig patiently listening to all those rivers of words that came out in bursts; he didn't mind hearing that talkative boy talk, even if most of the things he said were absurd and senseless. He found him nice, however unusual their meeting had been: he certainly wouldn't forget it easily.

When Ludwig noticed the late hour, he was even slightly disappointed and reluctantly began to prepare to go out.

Feliciano accompanied him with a bounce in his step towards the door.

-It was a nice evening.- the Italian said gratefully.

Ludwig replied embarrassed: -For me too... and I hope that one day you will be able to change job.-

-Sometimes it's not so bad to work here.- said Feliciano with one of his brightest smiles. -Sometimes nice people can come along, just like you.-

Ludwig let out another small smile at those sincere words, and as he headed towards the exit, he really hoped that the boy could one day always have that joyful and serene expression.

Chapter Text

Safe

-Feli, are you okay?! What did that shitty Kraut do to you?!-

The younger, lying on the bed reading a newspaper, turned in amazement towards Lovino, who entered the nightclub room like a fury, expecting to find his little brother crying in a corner. He was shocked to see that his thoughts had not come to fruition.

-Huh? What are you saying, Lovi? - Feliciano asked confused.

-That wardrobe with the socks!* Where is he?!- Lovino blurted out, returning to the attack and quickly approaching his brother and checking that he was okay.

Feliciano continued to stare at him blankly.

-What are you... Ah, you mean Ludwig! He left half an hour ago.-

Lovino grabbed the other's shoulders, shaking him forcefully.

-I don't care when he left! What did he do to you? I met him before and I didn't like that guy at all...-

-What are you saying? Nothing happened at all.-

Lovino stopped, raising an eyebrow.

-What do you mean "nothing"?-

He couldn't believe that a big hunk like that hadn't laid a single finger on Feliciano. It's true that he had threatened him, but usually it was just a waste of breath; he had never managed to scare anyone like that, unless that time he really succeeded...

-Really, we didn't do anything.- Feliciano replied again with a big smile.

The major looked at him thoughtfully, then pinched his cheeks.

-I don't believe you! Tell me the truth!-

-Ouch! Stop it! I swear, nothing happened! You're hurting me! - Feliciano shouted, pushing his hands away, but Lovino didn't give up and, grabbing him by the arms, continued to study his face and body.

-Lovi, what do you have on your cheek?-

The oldest stopped, holding his breath.

Shit! In his haste he had forgotten to hide it.

He suddenly lowered his face away from his brother.

-Nothing...-

-Come on, let me see.-

The younger's tone hardened slightly as he moved closer to the other. Lovino didn't even resist when Feliciano gently lifted his face, moving some dark locks and discovering a palm-sized purple bruise near his ear.

Lovino glanced quickly at his little brother: when he saw that look he was always afraid that Feliciano would do something crazy; not only was he serious, which was already very strange in itself, but a sinister light shone in his eyes, full of hatred and anger.

-Feli, what are you thinking?-

-Nothing.-

-Liar.-

-You too.-

Feliciano sighed, getting up from the bed and walking towards the cabinet.

-I'll get some ice.-

-No, look, it's the same...- the major tried to reply.

-But you always help me when it happens to me. This time I'll help you.-

Lovino snorted in annoyance: he knew that his brother was very stubborn when he got involved, but it was just a bruise! There was no need to make that whole scene. Certainly it couldn't compare that usually happened to Feli. And then he was the eldest, he should have been the one to take care of the youngest and not the other way around.

Feliciano returned almost immediately with the ice pack and placed it gently on her cheek.

-How did it happen?-

Lovino shifted his gaze towards the wall.

-Nothing, the guy was taking a little too much confidence.-

-It is the truth?-

The truth... Well, maybe yes, from a certain point of view it could resemble the truth. Or maybe he wanted to believe it.

-So nothing really happened between you and that type? - Lovino suddenly blurted out, changing the subject and staring at the accusatory minor.

Feliciano let out a small smile.

-No, nothing at all. At first I thought he was just shy but then he insisted that we not do anything.-

The younger blushed, pausing to stare at the sheets.

-He was really kind...-

Lovino looked at his brother's gaze worriedly: usually when they told each other how the evenings had gone, the coldness towards those people bordered on the inhuman. Sometimes, however, it happened that nothing happened with someone, but Lovino had learned that it often happened because they felt pity or, at best, compassion. Now Feliciano's imagination was flying and Lovino didn't like it at all: it wasn't the first time it had happened and, like every time, Feliciano would get burned and he, as an older brother, would feel guilty for not having been able to protect him .

He tried to say something, but Feliciano preceded him by saying: -Ah, he knows Antonio.-

Ah. That's why nothing had happened.

-He was also there to see us this evening, you know?-

Lovino continued to remain silent: he knew that Antonio had come, he had warned him about the evening, but his happiness had vanished as soon as that presenter had announced that damned awards ceremony. It was logical that he would be pissed, right? If Feliciano hadn't kept him behind the scenes... no, it was better not to imagine. But he found it unfair; what they did was hard work, but at least there was always the safety of the people you found in bed, always better than being on the street and getting caught by anyone. At this point, however, if the same thing happened there too, he no longer knew what to think.

“Just one more week, just one more week and we'll be out of this…”

-That's it, so it shouldn't swell.- Feliciano said, removing the ice from his cheek and putting it back.

-Mmm... are you sure? Aren't you forgetting something?- asked Lovino, jokingly scolding him.

Feliciano stared at him thoughtfully and worried for a few seconds, while Lovino reciprocated the extremely funny expression of his little brother, who was trying to remember what he had forgotten.

-Ah, yes!- he finally said before smacking a light kiss over the bruise, and then snuggling like a child in the arms of the major, who smiled lovingly and returned the hug.

-Hey Lovi, will you see Antonio tomorrow?-

Lovino's smile trembled: it's not that he didn't want to see it, on the contrary. He was only bothered by the thought that in a short time he would go home and leave them alone again.

-I don't know... we'll see.-

-If you see him, will you say hello to me?-

-Of course.-

Feliciano rubbed like a kitten on his shoulder.

-I'm sleepy.- he said after a loud yawn.

-Then sleep.-

Lovino let his brother lie down next to him, then lay down himself and held him close.

Outside, everything was silent, apart from the rare roar of a few cars speeding past in the nearby streets.

At least for that night they would be safe.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Meetings

-Hey Ludwig, do you have any razor blades?-

Ludwig, still half asleep, reluctantly opened one eye. Gilbert was staring at him, his face half soapy.

-Huh? What are you saying? And what time is it?-

-Ten o'clock, Dornröschen* [Sleeping Beauty]! So, do you have these blades or not? -

This was how the young German was woken up after one of the strangest evenings of his life. Not that the awakening was any less...

-What do I know? You packed my suitcase.- Ludwig replied, pulling his hair back with one hand and yawning loudly -What do you need them for?-

-What a stupid question! To shave, isn't it?- Gilbert blurted out, unpacking his brother's suitcase -Francis doesn't want to give us his and Antonio and I have finished them.-

-Of course I won't give you mine!-

Francis looked out of the bathroom, his face still half soapy and his gaze grim.

-The last time I lent them to you, you were playing with them!-

Gilbert didn't even listen to him and continued his search undaunted, sending clothes flying all over the room.

Francis shook his head theatrically before turning to Ludwig and giving him one of his dazzling smiles.

-Bonjuor, petit Lud! Did you sleep well? Do you know that you really look good with messy hair? You should keep them like this more often.-

-You don't know how many times I've told him that too.- Gilbert said from inside the now empty suitcase -If he had listened to us he wouldn't be here now, but still having fun at the nightclub.-

“Here we go again...” Ludwig thought dejectedly, passing a hand over his face.

Since he had returned from the evening still a virgin, those two had done nothing but tease him. Okay, he'd expected it, but they were definitely pushing things too hard. Luckily, Antonio had been there to change the subject every time: he was happy that there was someone who didn't consider Feliciano as a toy and who, on the contrary, at least tried to protect him. He would have to thank him later.

-I remind you that the hair is mine, and I don't think that keeping it messy will change my life.-

The blond blurted out annoyed, getting up from the bed and picking up some of his clothes around.

-But mine was just an advice, cher [dear]...-

“Which you could have kept to yourself!”

-I think you should treasure it, little brother.-

Oh no, this is too much! Gilbert can't to start supporting the Frenchman.

-Gilbert, shut up.- the younger one gnashed, squeezing the fabric convulsively between his fingers.

-I'm just telling you how things are: you're totally frigid.-

-Gilbert!-

-Damn, Ludwig! How do you return completely chaste and pure from that place?! It's illogical! With one of the dancers ...-

-But it was a boy!- Ludwig blurted out, starting to turn red on his cheeks.

-So what? What does it have to do with it? Moreover, you've been staring at his legs the whole show and don't try to deny it!-

Ludwig took a few breaths: no, he really didn't want to argue, not in the early morning.

-Come on guys, stop it.- Antonio said coming out of the bathroom -I'm sure that one day Ludwig will lose his precious virginity even without our help.-

The German dropped back onto the bed, putting his face in his hands: why was he wasting his breath on those three?

-The important thing now is how to shave without blades!- concluded the Spaniard with his face completely soaped up, staring with curiosity at a table knife he held in his hand.

-Maldito [Damn], I have to go out soon... Do you think it's the same with the knife?-

Gilbert got closer him with interest, while Francis looked up at the ceiling in disbelief, and then approched Ludwig, putting some money in his hand.

-S'il vous plaît, Ludwìg [Please, Ludwig], go buy some razors and maybe even some shaving cream. I saw that there's a supermarket not so far. I can't imagine what those two could do with a knife... If you have any money left over, you can take whatever you want, it's on me.-

The young man looked at the money, then heard his brother and Antonio laughing in amusement from the bathroom, pretending to be pirates.

He sighed and then nodded wearily.

-Okay, I'll go buy you these razor blades, but could I go to the bathroom first?-

-Ouch! I cut myself!-

“Obviously not...”

* * *

-Lovi, I'm going shopping!-

-Ah, remember the coffee, it's finished.-

-I know, ciao!-

-And don't take too long like usual!-

Too late. The door had already closed and the warning had bounced off the walls of the house.

Damn it! If he wanted a coffee, he should have gone down to the cafe.

Lovino finished cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast and turned on the television.

Usually after the evenings they always woke up very late, but this time Feliciano had been quite early: it was true that it was eleven in the morning, but compared to the usual four or five in the afternoon, it seemed like dawn.

Lovino stared at the news without actually seeing it.

It is very strange... Feliciano was such a sleepyhead. Usually Lovino was the one who had to wake him up and instead this time Feliciano had even gone out shopping of his own free will. No, there was definitely something going on.

Suddenly the intercom rang. Lovino tiredly got up from his chair, thinking it was the postman and, without even picking up the phone, opened the main door. What a drag! It always had to be opened by him. There were many other people in the apartment building.

Lovino didn't have time to sit down again when someone knocked loudly on the door.

And now what was there?! Maybe was the neighbor in the apartment below theirs. He always had some complaints: last time he started ranting about water falling from their flower pots.

“We don't even have a terrace!"

The person knocked again, insistently. Yes, it had to be that old man. Lovino massaged his temples, preparing for the worst, and after a deep breath, he slammed the door open.

-What do you want this time?-

Any other curses he had prepared suddenly vanished when he noticed that who was in front of him was definitely not his neighbor.

-Hola, Lovinito.-

Lovino was completely taken aback: Antonio was there, right there, in front of him, after two months of not speaking to each other, after the evening before where they had only bumped into each other without even being able to say hello, now he was in front of him, with his usual hair disheveled, the light-hearted smile and warm and lively gaze.

But even faced with this vision, the first thing Lovino wanted to do was slam the door in his face and break all those teeth he was happily showing. He hadn't been happy at all in those two months, and now that bastard wanted to welcome him with open arms as if nothing had happened?

-I brought you these.-

Antonio pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and that promptly changed the Italian's mind who, grabbing the other by the arm, dragged him bodily into the apartment, slamming the door shut.

-Are you a complete idiot?! What if someone saw you? If they find out anything here, they'll throw me out!-

Antonio paid little attention to the Italian's screams and, without even placing the flowers, hugged him tightly. All the insults died in Lovino's mouth: Antonio was really there with him and now he was hugging him, this time he wasn't imagining it, his strong and slightly sweet perfume was confirmation of it.

-Te extrañé, Lovinito... [I missed you, Lovinito]-

Lovino had missed that low, calm voice a lot too, but the enormous pride he had in his body would never have allowed him to admit it easily.

Lovino abruptly pushed Antonio away: not that he minded that hug, but he still felt a hint of anger inside him.

-And stop talking in Spanish...- he scolded him, staring at the floor.

He heard the Spaniard chuckle.

-But you understand me perfectly anyway.-

-But here you are in Italy, so you speak Italian. When I come to Spain, I will speak Spanish, ok?-

Without waiting for an answer, Lovino picked up the deck and quickly walked to the kitchen.

-Come on. I'll prepare something for you.-

Antonio didn't have to be told again and quickly followed the boy who had started looking for a vase. As soon as he found it, he began to position the flowers in the best way: it wasn't a large bouquet and the flowers were mostly wild, very simple but also very fragrant. He straightened two large daisies in the center and arranged tufts of lavender all around which he gently caressed: how much he liked that flower, with its bright purple and pungent smell...

-Do you like them?-

Lovino stopped, looking up at the Spaniard, sitting in front of him and turned without answering towards the refrigerator.

-Let me guess.- the Italian suddenly said after a few seconds, holding some orange juice in his hand -You made an agreement with Feliciano, right?-

Lovino saw the other's smile open wider.

-I wanted to surprise you.-

-Well, I don't like surprises.- he replied abruptly, moving towards the cupboard.

In fact it was true: he would have liked to know sooner when Antonio would return, perhaps to be able to meet in a more beautiful place than his horrid kitchen and perhaps to drink some good San Giovese [typical Italian wine] instead of a low-carbon drink.

Lovino put the glasses down on the table in annoyance: he would clarify the matter to Feliciano when he returned.

While he was still in his thoughts, he felt Antonio pull him towards him and gently turn his face, making his dark eyes meet the other's green ones.

-Does that mean you don't like seeing me again?- the Spaniard asked in a mocking tone, and then stole a kiss on his lips.

Lovino wriggled away angrily, amidst the other's laughter.

-Not when you do that!-

-Ah, I don't believe you anymore.-

-You're the usual...-

-Lovi, what do you have on your cheek? It looks like a stain.-

The boy jerked away from the other and suddenly turned his face.

-Nothing.-

The answer came too quickly, which made the Spaniard suspicious and he approached him slowly.

Damn! But hadn't he hidden it well? When he looked in the mirror, he didn't notice anything.

He felt Antonio's warm hands lifting his face and immediately noticed the large bruise that could still be seen under various creams and blushers. In the Spaniard's eyes, Lovino saw that sinister glint he had noticed in his brother's gaze the night before.

-What is this?-

Antonio's voice resembled a low, guttural growl as the grip on his face tightened. The boy looked down.

-I told you nothing.-

-This is nothing, answer me!-

Lovino suddenly saw the scene again, as if in a dream: him in the company of that man, him who to force himself closed his eyes imagining he was with the Spaniard, him who accidentally whispered his name, and then the slap.

-Shut up! I don't want to be mistaken for one of your little friends who you have fun with.-

He still felt the searing pain of those words, spoken by a person who shouldn't have been speaking at that moment.

He pushed back the lump that was forcefully trying to come out; no, he would never find the courage to tell him the truth.

-If I tell you it's nothing, it's nothing! Don't you believe me, you bastard?!-

Antonio, however, did not move and continued to stare at Lovino: he no longer had the angry look of a few moments before, now he seemed almost suffering, while the Italian let himself be pressed against that strong and fragrant chest.

-I'm sorry Lovinito, it's my fault...-

-What are you saying? Are you stupid or what?-

-If I hadn't had problems with work, I would have come earlier, I would have been able to give you some more money and warn you. I didn't think I couldn't even call you, I...-

-Stop talking nonsense.- Lovino stopped him, looking up at the Spaniard's practically crying face. -You're already doing enough...-

He barely whispered that last sentence on Antonio's lips, a simple brush of lips which however made Lovino blush more than necessary, which brought a slight smile from the Spaniard.

-Come on, let's finish drinking that orange soda.-

However, Antonio didn't seem to be of the same opinion, as he took the boy and made him sit on the table, before starting to kiss him passionately.

-What the hell are you doing?!- Lovino blurted out, freeing himself from the other's embrace, who with a sinister smile, continued undaunted to scour the thin body of the younger one who, in a short time, began to quiver under those attentions.

-Antonio, stop.- he replied, already out of breath. -My brother will be home soon. He just went shopping.-

This statement really seemed to stop Antonio, who curiously asked: -Shopping? In the supermarket nearby? -

-Yes, why?-

The satisfied grin that appeared on the Spaniard's face did not bode well.

-Well, I think we will definitely have a lot of time...-

* * *

Ludwig sighed: he couldn't remember ever sighing so much in his life.

He picked up two packs of shaving cream, pretending to choosing them, while his thoughts were somewhere else.

Really, he found it all too absurd for his standards. But why had those three insisted on his virginity? Those were private things, dammit! And then this time Gilbert wouldn't get away with it, not at all: he had promised him, he had promised that he would never ever mention his sexuality, at least until he had clarified his ideas. And what had his "magnificent" brother replied when he reminded him of this promise?

-You're too slow to decide.-

Fuck! At least he wasn't a narcissistic nymphomaniac!

He clutched the cans convulsively before throwing them angrily into the cart and abruptly turning around. He didn't like the thud that followed at all.

He turned around quickly, noticing someone on all fours on the ground picking up the groceries that had just fallen.

-I... I'm sorry!- Ludwig mumbled embarrassed in English, helping the person to stand up.

-Ah, non è nulla, può succedere!- [-Ah, it's nothing, it can happen!-]

That voice...

Ludwig slowly lowered his gaze, immediately recognizing those huge, smiling eyes, which seemed to grow even bigger when they recognized him.

-But you're the boy from last night! Ludwig, right? What a coincidence! - Feliciano blurted out giving him a smile.

-Yeah...- the German replied, even more embarrassed than before. He really didn't think he'd find him around so easily, it hadn't even been twenty-four hours since the evening.

-How is it going? Everything all right?-

-Y-yes, thanks...-

-What are you looking for? Maybe I can give you a hand.-

-Um... here...-

No, no, don't get confused right now! Dialogue, dialogue! We need to establish a dialogue!

Nothing to do, more Ludwig tried to stay calm, more he felt himself flush, his thoughts stumbling confused among themselves. He had never felt like this, not even in front of his first crush, and it stunned him even more.

-Hey, are you okay?-

Feliciano had approached him slightly, his face slightly worried.

-Yes, yes... it's just that...- Ludwig sighed heavily before finishing the sentence -I didn't think I'd meet you again so soon.-

The Italian smiled again.

-Me neither, but I'm happy.-

Ludwig found himself thinking that he had never seen such a beautiful and simple smile: he was aware of that subspecies of his brother's grin, Francis's disturbing smile, but even Antonio's open and sunny smile seemed opaque and dull in comparison.

-So, do you need help buying something?-

-No, I already took everything, thank you.-

-I'm afraid I'm done too.-

Ludwig raised an eyebrow.

-Why are you “afraid”?-

Feliciano gave a mischievous look.

-Well, I imagine that Antonio has already arrived at our house and hasn't seen Lovino for a long time. They will have a few things to talk about.-

Ludwig also let out a smirk.

-They must love each other very much.- the German let out, lost in his thoughts. He almost regretted that sentence, perhaps out of place.

-Yes, really!- replied Feliciano -I'm happy that Lovino has someone close to him.-

Ludwig seemed to notice a hint of sadness in those usually carefree eyes.

-I'm going to pay, are you coming too?- Feliciano asked in his usual jovial tone, while the blond nodded and followed him, stopping to study his light blue shirt which matched perfectly with the short and wide light jeans; in comparison, Ludwig almost felt like a bum in his t-shirt/pyjamas and flowered Sundeks. It was really true that Italians were careful about how they dressed even when going shopping.

It took them only a few minutes to get out into the open air, under the hot June sun.

Ludwig glanced furtively at Feliciano, who meanwhile was looking around, curiously staring at the people passing by. He didn't want to say hello right away...

-If you want I'll take you home, I'm not in a hurry to go back to the hotel either.-

Oh Gott! Had he seriously said it? Had he actually managed to ask Feliciano to take him home? But where had he found all that courage? Only a few minutes ago, he hadn't been able to put three words together, and now he had even managed to formulate an entire meaningful sentence!

Feliciano beamed at him.

-Of course! Thanks Lud.-

Lud. It was the nickname that that Frenchman had given him and that Ludwig usually didn't like, but coming from that boy, without malice, it was something completely different: it might have seemed like a nice nickname. Yes, coming from Feliciano, he liked it.

Ludwig didn't even notice the boy's thin arm slipping lightly under his. Instinctively he tried to move away, but Feliciano quickly dragged him into a street, saying loudly: -Come on, let's go to this way! It takes us a little longer, but the villas near the sea are truly wonderful!-

Ludwig, too shocked and too busy hiding his blush, let himself be guided through the various streets, where fortunately there were very few people. Let's be clear: it's not that he disliked that contact, but so suddenly and in the midst of everyone, it seemed excessive. They were still two strangers and two boys!

-So, are you English?- Feliciano asked, breaking the silence and the other's thoughts.

-No, German.-

-Really? But you speak English really well! I know a German boy, maybe you know him too, he is a friend of Antonio, his name is Gilbert. He's really nice!-

-He's my brother.- Ludwig replied, wondering how a guy like Gilbert could seem nice to Feliciano.

-Really!?- the Italian screamed -It's a small world after all! Did he also come to Rimini? It's a shame though that he can't go to the beach, he likes it so much... but has he always been an albino?-

It ended exactly like the previous evening, with Feliciano speaking rapidly without even catching his breath, filling Ludwig's infinite embarrassed silences. His classic river of words ended only when they arrived under the house, a tall greyish building with small, narrow windows, interspersed with rare bare balconies. Compared to the villas they had spotted in the previous streets, it looked like a prison.

-Here we are!-

Feliciano turned to stare smiling at Ludwig's face.

-How long will you stay in Italy?-

A dark shadow passed over Ludwig's face before he answered.

-One month.-

-Really? How wonderfull! I imagine you'll have a lot of fun.-

-Um, yes, of course...-

Ludwig saw the boy lean towards him and peer at him curiously before asking: -What is it? Don't you like Rimini? -

-No! It's not that, it's... well... - How hard it is to find the exact words! -It's not exactly the kind of city where I would spend my holidays.-

-Why?-

Ludwig scratched the back of his neck.

-Well, I'm not very attracted to spending my days at the seaside and discos.-

-But in Rimini there are not only these things.-

Ludwig stopped, staring skeptically at the serene and convinced face of Feliciano, who almost immediately broke away from his arm and headed towards the door.

-I hope that Antonio is gone, I wouldn't want to interrupt some of their conversations...- the Italian said aloud, taking the keys.

Ludwig watched him open the door and put the groceries in the hall. He didn't want him to leave so soon; although he was always very embarrassed in his presence and could only utter a few words, he liked spending time with him. He found him pleasant, even if a little talkative.

While Ludwig was still immersed in these thoughts, he felt Feliciano grab his hand and begin to write something on it.

-Sorry, but I don't have a piece of paper.- said the boy with the cap of the marker in his mouth. Ludwig withdrew his hand as soon as Feliciano released it and read a cell phone number on it.

-I wrote a little big and to read the last number you have to put your fingers like this. Call me when you want to go for a ride, okay?-

Ludwig remained stunned, staring at his green-stained hand: did he have a date?

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

About helps and bets

-Mon Dieu! Is he still staring at that number?-

-It seems so...-

-Oh Gott! Really?!-

-Don't worry! We can still solve everything.-

Ludwig had been staring at that piece of paper on which he had written down the cell phone number for two days now, but he hadn't yet managed to muster up the courage to call Feliciano. What should he have said to him? Whatever came to mind seemed either too obvious or too far-fetched to him.

He dropped heavily onto the bed, dejected. Maybe he should have given up on it... Why waste time and energy on a person who would have seen for another three weeks at most and then never again for the rest of his life?

He was so down in spirits that he wasn't too worried when he felt the mattress give way under the weight of the other three.

-What do you want now?- he mumbled, certain that the sight of him lying on the bed in despondency was a succulent banquet for them: not that he cared at that moment.

He felt his brother lie down next to him.

-Ohi bruder, what's bothering you this time?-

Strange. Why weren't they making fun of him?

-Nothing important...-

-Are you sure? Don't you want to talk about it, cher? -

Ludwig looked at Francis skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, of course! Now I'm also going to confide to you!” he thought frowning, then sighed loudly and got out of bed.

-I'm going to the toilet.-

He really didn't want to argue with them that day either.

-How long do you want to wait before calling him? -

Ludwig froze, petrified. So, that's what they wanted to get to, as always. They couldn't mind their own business, oh no! They continually had to reiterate the same points, they wanted to exasperate him, and they were succeeding quite well at it.

-Stop intruding into my private life.- he was cold and detached, his voice trembling slightly. He could no longer bear this continuous interest, really.

-What I do is my business, is it clear?-

For a few long seconds only silence responded to him, until his brother's calm and frank voice saying: -We know it's your business, but don't you feel like you're fooling him in this way?-

Ludwig clenched his jaw tightly.

-I'm not fooling anyone.-

It was true, he kept telling himself. Feliciano had done everything: he had given him his mobile number, he had walked arm in arm in a rather ambiguous way, he had extended the journey home that day. Ludwig hadn't done anything, had he?

The young man turned towards Gilbert, staring at his serious face which. However, after a few moments, Gilbert relaxed into a superior smile and, stretching calmly, got up from the bed saying: -Okay. Let's go out! I'll take you to a delicious restaurant. -

The other two immediately agreed, while Ludwig sighed: -I'll pass.-

-What are you saying? Come on cher, you must distract yourself a bit.-

Still rather sceptical, he returned the Frenchman's winking gaze. Oh well, maybe Francis wasn't entirely wrong this time; better to be with them and among other noisy people, rather than being alone in the room with the pressing buzz of his thoughts to keep him company.

Ludwig dropped into a nearby chair before declaring: -Okay, tell me when you're ready.-

-Do you want to go out dressed like that?- asked an astonished Francis, who had instantly turned white after those words.

Ludwig raised an eyebrow, somewhat surprised.

-Yes, why?-

-You don't go around looking like that with me. Have you seen yourself? You look like an old scarecrow, with a cow lick on the head!-

Ludwig's expression became, if possible, even more confused and incredulous. First they helped him and then insulted him?

-What's wrong with walking around in a t-shirt and pants?- he said, not mentioning the offense about his hairstyle.

The look Francis gave him made him regret having asked him such a question; the blue eyes rolled dramatically towards the ceiling and the hand went to cover the disconsolate face.

-Mon petit Lud, I think you have a distorted view of a real pair of trousers.-

Ludwig glanced in shock at the other two who were grinning at each other, keeping their distance appropriately. He would have to solve the matter himself, as always.

-Do you know how to dress better?-

He said it calmly, without actually thinking, but he had definitely chosen the wrong moment to stop thinking about every single word, as was his habit; the mischievous look that the Frenchman gave him made his blood freeze in his veins and he promised himself for the future to study as best as possible every single word that would come out of his mouth.

-Trésor, fashion is French and Italian: now you are in Italy with a Frenchman, what could be better?-

* * *

-So, Ludwig, was it that terrible?-

The young German did not respond, glaring at the Frenchman, who continued to stare with satisfaction at the clothes he had bought for him. Ludwig felt terribly uncomfortable in those expensive clothes, and then the shirt seemed to suffocate him, not to mention those pants! Why did they have to tighten in those places!?

Who made him follow them? What was going through his head? Much better to stay in the hotel's room and take his mental trips, rather than spend an afternoon shopping with them.

Francis went away to talk to Antonio, while Gilbert chuckled next to his brother, who hissed furiously: -Don't try to say anything, okay?-

-Look, I didn't mean to say anything. I've been there too, you know? -

Ludwig turned to stare at him in shock, while Gilbert glanced at him sideways and curled his lips into a smirk.

-Yes, little brother, even the magnificent undersigned had to deal with Francis' fashion. A torture that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. And then I never understood why he persisted to saying that dressed as he wanted I was cooler: I'm always cool! -

Gibert approached the other two, leaving Ludwig behind, who in disbelief imagined his brother being dragged by Francis to some shopping centre: this sounded rather ridiculous to him.

What stopped his usual thoughts was the sign above an enormous entrance, which mentioned in elegant red lacquered letters “Trattoria al Castello”.

As soon as they entered the hall, Ludwig had to admit that for once those three had chosen a really nice place: the furnishings were sober and elegant, in perfect harmony with the ancient and rough medieval walls, and made everything very suggestive and picturesque.

-I signori desiderano?-

A waiter asked in Italian as he approached them, while Antonio hurriedly answered and then all headed together towards one of the rooms.

As soon as they sat down, Francis asked affably: -So, petit Lud, do you like the place?-

The boy pretended to arrange the cutlery and the glass before answering.

-This time yes.- he finally admitted. Well, apart from the clothes, he certainly couldn't complain: the place was decidedly quiet, except for the occasional shout and a few loud laughs.

-I'm pleased.- Francis said, smiling satisfied. Well, that sentence said in that tone and with that usual disturbing smile reassured him less.

-Gut! Now that my little brother is finally better, let's decide what to eat.-

-I am thirsty now. I wonder if they will have some wine...-

-I don't know about the wine, but they have some really good beers...-

Gilbert couldn't finish his sentence before Francis began coughing loudly, giving him a contemptuous look.

The German rolled his eyes impatiently.

-What the heck, Francis! Will I at least be able to decide what to drink at the restaurant?!-

The Frenchman gracefully rested his face on his hand, before replying in a calm but icy tone: -If you want to call that thing a drink...-

Ludwig could almost see a spark pass between the two men; but were they really arguing?

He had only seen his brother angry a few times in his life, and so far he had noticed all the symptoms.

-Don't insult the beer, okay? I have to drink it, not you.-

-I would never stoop to drinking slop like that.-

Gilbert slammed the menu hard on the table, attracting the attention of several people, and then raised his voice several tones.

-Fuck off, Francis! Why do you always have to blame me?! Even Antonio never takes your wine watered down! Why do you always have to...-

-Stop it!-

Antonio's hiss was sharper and more fearful than a sharp blade, as he angrily took the drink lists from the two friends' hands.

-Do you want to put on a show here too? I really don't want to get kicked out again. You will take what I will take, and will be fine with it.-

The tone that the Spaniard used did not allow for any replies, and this definitely worried Ludwig, who was used to seeing the man always cheerful and sunny: he really didn't believe that such a strong and authoritarian character could emerge from such person. From that moment, he would look at Antonio in a different light, especially seeing how the other two had listened to him without saying a word, choosing dinner in silence.

-Ah, Ludwig, you can take whatever you want.-

The once again jovial tone with which he addressed him left the young German speechless, still too shocked by that sudden change, so much so that he didn't realize that the waiter had arrived next to them.

-Volete ordinare?-[Do you want to order?]

Ludwig skipped a beat at the sound of that voice.

Surely he was imagining it, it couldn't really be his, not again. It was impossible! Italian voices are all a bit alike, and then he had to stop thinking him all the time; he was starting to get scared by himself.

He looked up to make sure he had been wrong, but when Antonio shouted in surprise -Feliciano!- his fears turned into reality.

-'Tonio! How nice to see you again! How are you? -

He wasn't wrong, Ludwig thought as the brunette happily hugged the Spaniard; he was right there, in front of him, his eyes shining with happiness, his cheeks with a delicate blush, hopping from one foot to the other, like a child in front of a friend he hasn't seen for a long time.

However, as pleasant as that vision was, he couldn't help but cast a murderous look towards his brother: Gilbert knew it! He knew everything and he had deliberately brought him to that restaurant. He had seen Antonio's anger, well, later he would have to endure his too!

-Oh, but you're Ludwig! I didn't recognize you!-

The German felt his blood freeze in his veins as he slowly turned towards that disarming smile.

-What a coincidence meeting again, huh? It almost seems like destiny!-

“Yes, of course, destiny...” he thought angrily, looking sideways at the other three, unintentionally scaring the poor Italian, who tried to stutter out some excuse, believing he had said something bad.

-Hey, Feli! Where is Lovinito? Having fun somewhere?-

Antonio's cheerful voice broke that misunderstanding, making Feliciano turn around.

Even though the tone was light-hearted as always, everyone felt a slight anxious note in that almost normal sentence.

-Not this evening.- Feliciano reassured him, certainly having understood better than anyone else what the Spaniard was referring to. -He's singing in a pub in Rimini. I would have liked to hear it...-

-We could go to listen to him together next time, what do you think? So we'll surprise him. - Antonio said, suddenly more relaxed again, while the Italian nodded happily.

-Oh, yes! Lovino really likes surprises. Well, what can I bring you?-

Ludwig was enchanted by the harmonious and gentle movements of that boy: his hands flying gracefully over the notebook and lightly moving a tuft of hair. It was strange how he noticed all those innocent details about him and couldn't remember that absurd first evening spent together, as if he had forgotten it.

Feliciano took the menu away from him, waking him from his thoughts.

-I'll be right back with dinner! And Ludwig, you look really good with messy hair.-

Only when the Italian disappeared into the kitchen, the blond was able to breathe properly again.

-See, cher? I told you you were fine.-

Ludwig suddenly stood up from the table.

-I'm leaving.-

The tone didn't allow any replies, not even the look, and let them try to say something!

-Where are you going, Ludwig!? Sit down!-

-No, I'm going back to the hotel.-

-Why? You said you liked the place.-

-Because you're idiots!- he blurted out in exasperation, finally making them silence -You have to stop it, okay? In this way, it is you who fool him.-

After this last sentence, he took his jacket and quickly walked towards the exit of the restaurant.

That had truly been a bad move, both towards him and towards Feliciano. What did they believe? What would have pleased him? And then, they didn't even think about that poor boy, and the only thing Ludwig didn't want was to hurt Feliciano.

The cool evening air hit his face, sweeping away, at least in part, some bad thoughts.

A nearby noise made him turn around curiously; well, he hadn't had time to forget him for five minutes before that little boy was already forcefully back in his head. Feliciano was throwing away some big garbage bags, or at least he was trying to; at the moment he was arguing with a particularly large one which really didn't want to move.

Ludwig sighed in resignation as he approached him to help him.

-Do you want a hand?-

Feliciano turned around in amazement, and then smiled brightly at the sight of the German.

-Lud! What are you doing out here? Have you come to get some air? -

-Well... not really...- the blond mumbled, taking the bag and throwing it in the dumpster.

-Thanks!- the brunette chirped, making him blush slightly -So what? Why are you here? - he asked again, taking another garbage bag.

-Actually I was leaving.-

-Oh, why?-

Am I wrong or did he feel disappointment in that sentence?

-I'm a little tired and I'd better go back to the hotel.-

That abandoned puppy look he was giving him right now didn't help him at all; at this rate, Ludwig would go back into the restaurant.

-What a shame...- said Feliciano displeased -But it was nice to see you again!-

-M-me too...- Why did he have to stutter?! -M-maybe I'll see you another time...-

-Really? So, we could see tomorrow!-

-Huh?!-

No, wait! He had only said that they could see each other around, but he had absolutely not asked him out!

Feliciano took his hands in his, staring at him pleadingly.

-Yes, come on! I'll take you for a tour, as I promised you. -

With his hands trapped between those slender fingers and his gaze chained into hazel eyes, how could he refuse?

-Um, that's-that's okay... So, we could see...-

Ludwig couldn't finish the sentence and at first he couldn't even understand why: one moment before he was talking and the next moment, in a blink of an eye, Feliciano had shortened the distance that separated them, delicately placing a quick kiss on his lips. It had been so quick and unexpected that he hadn't been able to feel or understand anything: neither the heat of his breath, nor the softness of those petals that his mind still remembered from that fateful evening.

The young man immediately moved away from him, and then said satisfied: -I'll call you a taxi, okay? And rest this evening because tomorrow will be a looooong day! - and with one last smile he disappeared, leaving Ludwig alone, confused, and completely red in the face.

-Ah ah! I knew it Feliciano would make the first move with le petit Lud!-

-Scheiße! What kind of brother do I have?!-

-Come go! Don't you know how to lose with dignity? -

-Attentìon, Gilbert, some money is missing here. Don't try to cheat, huh?-

-I swear he'll pay for this... Hey Ludwig! Don't you have to change? -

Chapter Text

Carpe Diem

-Mon cher![My dear] Take the hair down!-

It was the fateful day, the first date of his life, and those three, obviously, were helping him. They must have been convinced that Ludwig needed their advice, otherwise their constant concern for him couldn't be explained, but the young man no longer even listened to them, too busy rearranging his thoughts. He only came back to reality when he felt someone vigorously ruffling his hair.

-What the fuck are you doing, Francis!?- Ludwig shouted furiously, straightening out his disheveled locks.

-I was helping you.- the other replied in an obvious tone.

-No one asked you.-

Suddenly, Ludwig felt himself hugged by his brother, who ruined his hairdo again.

-Come on, bruder! I know you're nervous, but don't take it out on poor Francis.-

Ludwig turned to glare at that superior grin that Gilbert proudly displayed. Who knows if he would have shown it the same way even without teeth...

Meanwhile, the Frenchman sat on the bed next to Antonio, intent on texting as usual, and, with one of his best smiles, resumed his conversation.

-And then, when you meet him, you will have to kiss him on the cheek.-

-Huh!?-

Ludwig blanched while Gilbert, next to him, burst out laughing.

-Ahah! Francis, don't overdo. You can't ask for a miracle! -

-But that's how it works!- Francis said with conviction. -When you go in a date with someone, the first thing you do is greet him and kiss him.-

-Maybe for you...-

Francis snorted loudly, with Antonio next to him who had stopped using his cell phone, listening with amusement to yet another logical argument.

-Have you ever been on a date?-

The albino thought about it for a while.

-Yes, once, but then I went out with the waitress.-

After this, Ludwig decided he had heard enough for one day and headed for the door.

-Hey, where are you going?-

-Out.-

-But it's still early.-

Without answering he left the room, walking towards the hall, where he would spend the last hour before the appointment wallowing in his negative thoughts; still better than listening to the bullshit of those three.

-Ludwig, espera! [Ludwig, wait!]-

Oh no, and now what did Antonio want? But didn't they really realize that he wanted to be alone for a while?

He turned annoyed towards the Spaniard who reached him in a few seconds with his usual serene smile.

-What do you want? - the German asked grumpily.

-You don't have to take it so hard, they were just trying to help you, even if in their own way.-

Ludwig looked at that happy face for a long time.

-Anything else?-

The Spaniard's smile cracked slightly.

-Look, Ludwig, I know exactly how you feel.-

-Really?- the other asked sarcastically, immediately noticing however that he had overdo.

-Well, I'm still the only one among us who is in a gay relationship. I thought you might like to vent to someone.-

Ludwig stared at the floor mortified, while Antonio, with a loud sigh, turned on his heel to return to the room.

-Obviously I was wrong.-

-No, wait!-

Antonio turned, slightly surprised by the German's grip on his shoulder, and then smiled again at his confused and embarrassed expression.

The Spaniard looked around and then noticed a little sofa at the end of the corridor.

-Would you like to sit down?-

Ludwig nodded silently. Yes, it would have been good for him to talk a little, especially with Antonio: after all, he was the one he could trust the most.

-So, where will you meet?- the Spaniard began as soon as he sat down.

-I'll go get him from home...-He felt Antonio's hand rest delicately on his shoulder.

-Are you nervous?-

Ludwig blushed violently, implicitly answering the question.

-Are you because Feliciano is a boy, or for something else?-

Ludwig considered his answer for a long time.

-Mainly yes, but... also because it's the first time someone has asked me out...-

-It's normal to be nervous, you know? Whether it's the first time or the twentieth, you're always awkward at first and it seems like everything that comes out of your mouth is stupid.-

Ludwig smiled bitterly at those truthful words.

-I remember the first time I went out with Lovino: we had arranged to meet in a bar. I was a little late, and when I arrived he was already there, sitting waiting for me. I was so happy that as soon as I saw him he threw me towards him, taking some tables with me.-

Ludwig widened his eyes in amazement, not knowing whether to laugh or not.

-But I have to say that it was the best date of my life.-

Ludwig looked down dejectedly again.

-But why a boy? - said the blond sadly -And why, among so many boys, did Feliciano ask me? -

-About the first question, well... you like boys, don't you? It would be difficult to date a girl if you don't like her-

Ludwig stared at his shaking knees: did he really like boys?

-Maybe it's just a phase...- he replied slowly.

Antonio seemed to think about it.

-I don't know that.- Antonio replied simply. -But I know that you accepted, so you want to go out too.-

-But I don't even know how to behave!-

-I'm sure it will be fine.-

-How do you know?-

Antonio smirked.

-Because you know how to seize the moment.-

* * *

He felt terribly stupid: he was there, in front of that damned door, with fear gripping his insides. As soon as Feliciano got out, what should he do, or say? The fact of having arrived there without even a gift made him feel like a worm... but he hadn't found anything suitable: he had thought about flowers, but then they seemed too binding. Even chocolates had given him the same idea and unfortunately nothing else had come to mind. Would Feliciano have been very upset?

-Ciao!-

Ludwig jumped at the sweet sound of that childish voice. He turned quickly and lowered his gaze: for a moment his fears abandoned him, while his eyes lingered on that adorable face with such a reassuring smile. His honey-brown hair shimmered in the morning light, while his shirt fluttered in the gentle breeze.

-Hi... How-How are you?-

-Fine! Shall we go?

Ludwig immediately felt himself being dragged by the arm towards an unknown street. This time he didn't even try to escape from the brunette's iron grip; after all, they were dating, so in theory it was right, wasn't it? Furthermore, it was necessary to remember that Feliciano was Italian, ergo much more expansive than him, perhaps it worked in other ways with them, even if in any case he certainly couldn't make a comparison.

Among all those thoughts he hadn't listened to Feliciano at all, who had, as usual, begun one of his speeches.

-Oh, vè, vè* Ludwig! Look at these houses, aren't they beautiful?-

Ludwig looked around: in that street there were truly fabulous villas with large gardens, some even with swimming pools.

-They are really beautiful.- admitted the German admiring one that looked like a small castle.

-This is one of the richest street in Rimini! It would be nice to live in one of these houses, right? -

Ludwig saw Feliciano's eyes shine dreamily, before the latter asked him: -Where do you live?-

-In the outskirts of Berlin.-

-Oh, do you have a nice house too?-

-Well, it's just a small house, with a bit of a garden, nothing special...-

-Oh, I'm sure it's gorgeous!-

Ludwig smiled to himself, letting Feliciano's mind imagine who knows what; he really didn't want to dampen his enthusiasm, it would have seemed cruel.

In a short time, they were already near the city center. That day there were very few people, yet earlier he had seen a lot of them on the seafront.

-They're all at the beach.- Feliciano said as if he had read his mind -In summer it's always like this. There's no one in the city, while the beaches are packed!-

Ludwig imagined that Feliciano had done it on purpose, so as not to attract too much attention. In fact, having the whole city to himself didn't seem like a bad idea: no noisy or simply too nosy people, who he definitely didn't want to deal with at that moment. Yes, it was better this way: they could have been calmer. Furthermore, the light wind that refreshed the not yet sultry air and the screeching of some seagulls greatly calmed the German's soul, and he felt strangely relaxed.

He turned his gaze towards a small square, where a huge glass building stood out in the center.

-What is that?-

-Ah, that's the “Domus del chirurgo”**, Surgeon's Domus, an old Roman house.- said Feliciano, while Ludwig stared at it with interest.

-Are you interested?- the Italian asked with a smile.

A part of him wanted to say yes immediately, but the other one stopped him, thinking that looking some ruins wasn't exactly the most appropriate thing to do on a date.

-Yes, but now I don't think it's the case...-

-Why not? We have all day! And then, the mosaics inside are really beautiful! Plus today is Sunday, so you don't have to pay for the ticket.-

Ludwig was confused: you don't go to see museums on a first date! Even he got to that point. But the tone Feliciano used made him have some doubts.

The brunette led him towards the ruins before the blond could finish deciding, ending up inside the museum. For the entire duration of the visit, Feliciano seemed to get more excited than the German, admiring every single corner of that place, sometimes pointing out and describing some of them.

Ludwig continued to be surprised by that behavior even after they left the Domus. He really didn't know what to think: he was sure that in certain situations like dates it had to talk about trivial things, like music, cinema, etc. He never expected to visit a museum!

-Did you like it?-

Feliciano's high-pitched voice brought him back to reality.

-Yes, indeed...- he answered sincerely, even if still confused -And you?-

The Italian beamed at him.

-Very much! I really like monuments, and I love cities of art. I'm happy that Rimini is so in its own small way.-

Ludwig noticed a glint shining in Feliciano's large eyes. He never would have thought that that little boy would be so interested in art, and he didn't mind it at all.

-Wanna see some more?- the brunette suddenly asked.

-What?-

-Of monuments! There are quite a few around here, and if you liked the Domus then you will fall in love with the others!-

Who knows what strange force took possession of his mind at that moment, the fact is that he accepted the offer practically immediately and for the whole morning he found himself having as Cicero the young Italian who, surprisingly, really knew about art and described with expert the various churches and works that he proudly showed him.

They only stopped around midday, when Feliciano's stomach began clamoring for his lunch.

-I'll take you to eat the best cassoni in Rimini, ok?-

-Cassoni?- Ludwig asked confused.

Feliciano widened his eyes in shock.

-You don't know what a cassone is?! Neither a piadina?-***

Ludwig shook his head dejectedly.

-We must fix this immediately!-

Thus they set off along a silent street, filled only with Feliciano's anecdotes.

-You know, my brother and I often passed this street when we went to high school. Except that Lovino shouted instead of speaking and everyone heard us coming from the end of the street! We were so punctual that when people heard us, they knew it was one o'clock! -

Ludwig couldn't hold back an amused laugh at such a strange story, thus making the brunette turn around and look at him in amazement.

-You know how to laugh!-

-Why shouldn't I know how to laugh?-

-I don't know, I've never seen you do it, you're always so serious. Instead you should laugh more often, you have a good laugh.-

Ludwig lowered his face, embarrassed by the compliment. Feliciano was just too outspoken sometimes.

They stopped in front of the local, on the door of which was written in large letters "Da Sergio". The place was small and square, filled with wicker stools and small tables that gave a sense of warmth and familiarity.

Feliciano entered to the local almost skipping, greeting the man behind the counter in a loud voice. The man was short and a little robust, with a nice face and friendly manners, and Ludwig, instinctively and without malice, thought that he had the features of a typical Italian.

-Ciao Sergio!- [-Hi Sergio!-]

-Oh, Feliciano! Come stai? Tutto bene?- [-Oh, Feliciano! How are you? Everything ok?-]

Ludwig remained aside, understanding absolutely nothing of the sentences they were exchanging, and trying to study the various expressions of the two; he had always heard that Italians gesticulated a lot and that sometimes they used their hands more than their words, and in fact he was able to see that those rumors were true. The two, in addition to arguing at rather loud voices, moved animatedly, with their hands and arms opening in large spirals, in an almost harmonious way; it was as if they were speaking two languages at once and he thought it was one of the most artistic things he had ever seen.

-Oh, ti presento Ludwig! È tedesco, sai?- [-Oh, meet Ludwig! He's German, you know?-]

Ludwig suddenly felt drawn into question and imagined he had been introduced, so he muttered a timid "Buongiorno" in his broken Italian.

- Oh oh, un crucco! E dove l'hai adescato?- [-Oh oh, a Kraut! And where did you lure him?-]

Ludwig couldn't understand the man's words, but they seemed to really irritate Feliciano who puffed out his cheeks in a rather funny way and then replied: -Smettila Sergio! Non fare l'antipatico!- [-Stop it, Sergio! Don't be unpleasant!-]

-Ma dai che scherzavo! Su, ditemi cosa volete.- [-Come on, I was joking! So, tell me what you want.-]

Feliciano turned to Ludwig with one of his usual contagious smiles on his face.

-Which cassone do you want? You know, there are many flavours: there is with mozzarella and tomato, with vegetables, with potatoes, with sausage and onions... In my opinion the best of all is sausage and potatoes. Which do you prefer? -

Taking into account that he didn't have the faintest idea of what a cassone was made of, Ludwig found himself more confused than before and simply said: -You can decide.-

Feliciano ordered and then sat down with the other at a table.

-Il tuo amico ha mai mangiato un cassone?- [-Has your friend ever eaten a cassone?-]

-No.-

-Allora non sa cosa si è perso!- [-He doesn't know what he missed!-]

Ludwig looked questioningly at Feliciano, who quickly translated the piadina maker's phrase for him. Surely the man was right, he had never doubted the superiority of Italian cuisine, so he was sure that whatever he ate, he would like it. And in fact it was exactly like that: that sort of thin bread filled with potatoes and sausage definitely had its reason.

-Ehi Feli, Lovino come sta? Ha messo la testa a posto o è ancora con quel brutto giro?- [-Hey Feli, how is Lovino? Has he got his head straight or is he still with that bad ride?-]

Ludwig instantly noticed a sudden change in the boy in front of him: the jovial smile cracked, swallowing with difficulty the morsel in his mouth.

- Sì, perché?- [Yes, why?]

Feliciano had turned to his plate rather than to the man, not quite managing to look up, which definitely surprised the German, who, as before, had understood nothing of the speech.

- Sicuro? Perché una settimana fa hanno trovato un altro tizio picchiato.- [-Are you sure? Because a week ago was found another guy beaten.-]

Ludwig would have paid gold to be able to understand even just one word of that dialogue, as he noticed how the young man's eyes widened. For what? Amazement or fear?

-Ti dico che Lovino non c'entra. Perché devi sempre pensare che per ogni rissa ci sia di mezzo mio fratello?- [-I'm telling you that Lovino has nothing to do with it. Why do you always have to think that my brother is involved in every fight?-]

The nervous laugh that followed that sentence made the German understand how thorny the matter was, especially now that he had guessed who he was talking about.

Feliciano jumped up.

- Scusa Sergio, ma adesso dobbiamo andare. Quanto ti devo?- [-Sorry Sergio, but we have to go now. How much do I owe you?-]

The man sighed bitterly, then turned towards the kitchen.

-Niente, me li dai la prossima volta.- [Nothing, you will pay me the next time.]

-No, dai, dimmi quanto costano!- [No, come on, tell me how much they cost!]

-Davvero, me li porti un'altra volta.- [-Really, bring them to me another time.-]

Feliciano puffed out his cheeks again in an annoyed expression, and then smiled resignedly and goodbye.

-He seems nice.- Ludwig said as soon as they left, scrutinizing the other's still rather serious gaze: it was so strange to see that face so frowned upon.

-Indeed! It's just that sometimes he's a little nosy.-

-What did he ask?-

-Nothing important. So, did you like the cassone?-

Ludwig was unable to insist and decided for once to let it go, starting to talk to Feliciano again and following him towards unknown destinations. After a few minutes they stopped in front of a white stone bridge overlooking a large park.

-Vè! Vè! Look at that bridge! It is Roman, named Ponte di Tiberio****, and one of the oldest in Italy, did you know that? -

No, he didn't know, but he thought it was really beautiful, plus it was still usable, given that cars passed easily over it.

-Come, I'll show you the park! It's really big, and at the beginning there's an enclosure with bunnies!-

Ludwig felt himself being dragged around for the umpteenth time.

He was definitely surprised when Feliciano pulled out a piece of carrot, thus attracting some rabbits to the animal enclosure. The young man got up almost immediately, greeting the little animals brightly, and then adding: -In theory you couldn't feed them, but they're so cute! And then just don't show up.-

Ludwig decided not to comment on those words, because, surely, he would have said something not very nice about Feliciano's actions which, although noble, were wrong. So he began to admire the landscape all around: apart from a few rare bicycles and some kids sunbathing, there was practically no one to enjoy the calm of the park, and it was a bit of a shame, because that crisp air shaking the leaves of the tall trees was really pleasant and made the atmosphere perfect. Perhaps it was precisely this atmosphere that made the Italian move closer to the other and intertwine his arm with his. Ludwig turned around embarrassed, trying to get away, but Feliciano didn't seem worried at all and didn't loosen his grip in the slightest, leading the German towards a pitch with children's games and a football pitch.

-Our grandfather often took us to the park when we were little.-

Ludwig saw Feliciano staring nostalgically at that pitch.

-We always played football here, and we often had picnics under that tree over there.-

The boy continued to tell anecdotes about his past, without any shame, also stopping to describe the details.

-You must love your grandfather very much.- Ludwig interjected in a moment of pause.

Feliciano sighed loudly before replying: -Yes, we loved him very much.-

“Loved?”

-It was very sad when he died.-

Ludwig flushed in panic.

-I'm so sorry! Really, I'm sorry, I didn't want you to remember certain things!-

The Italian chuckled amusedly.

-It's not your fault.-

-I'm sorry... I guess it was hard...-

-Yes, a lot. It was our family. He raised us, you know, we didn't have parents.-

-But don't you have any other relatives?-

-No. Plus, the money he left us wasn't much and it was enough for us just for a year. So we stopped studying and started looking for a job.-

On his face, the shadow of a smile continued to remain unchanged even as he told such sad stories.

-When did it happen?- Ludwig asked timidly, hoping not to dare too much.

-Four years ago. I was about to turn nineteen and he promised me that as soon as he left the hospital, he would give me a wonderful gift.-

Ludwig instantly understood how those two boys had ended up in a nightclub. Bad luck had been haunting them for a very long time and he had to admit that they were also quite positive considering how they had to live and feel. After four years… wait, four years?

-Feliciano, how old are you?-

-Twenty-three, why?-

Ludwig widened his eyes in surprise: that frail little thing was two years older than him?!

-Why?- he repeated, having received no response.

Ludwig turned his head, still slightly surprised and tried to change the subject.

-No, nothing... What's over there?- he asked pointing to a small clearing.

Feliciano seemed to brighten.

-I was forgetting about it! Come! I'll show you a wonderful place.-

The Italian began to run towards the tall trees of the small grove, followed by Ludwig; as soon as he reached him, he saw the other climbing like a cat onto a curved, arched tree.

Ludwig approached the boy, not exactly sure how long he could remain balanced on that log.

-Lud, isn't it beautiful? Lovino and I always played on this tree.- Feliciano said happily swinging his legs back and forth.

-Vè, a ladybug! How cute! - he suddenly exulted, moving quickly towards the insect. Ludwig immediately launched himself towards the boy, who was already in a precarious balance, would have risked making a great flight if he hadn't grabbed him in time, putting him back on his seat.

-Damn, be careful! You could have hurt yourself! - Ludwig shouted, turning to glare at him, but the look he met stopped any further reproaches in their tracks. Feliciano's dark eyes stared at him more mischievously than ever and, when the blond tried to move away, he felt the other's legs fasten around his back, not allowing him to escape. He swallowed hard as Feliciano's face came dangerously close to his.

-Thanks Lud...-

He couldn't make any more sounds, too terrified and too fascinated by that fiery gaze, not even after the Italian's hot lips rested softly on his. He felt the softness of those petals expertly testing every little corner of her mouth, until they gently violated it, while the thin fingers lightly caressed her neck and jaw. Ludwig closed his eyes, just for a moment, letting himself be carried away by all those new sensations he felt inside: fear, pleasure, embarrassment, passion. They were so different from each other, but they didn't clash, on the contrary, one enhanced the other to the maximum, making that moment seem like the most beautiful one of his life.

Feliciano's hands went down his chest, to the edges of his shirt...

Ludwig pulled away, still numb, stopping the kiss.

-Feli... maybe we should stop.-

His usual rationality had awakened and filled his brain with a thousand worries and questions.

-Why?-

-Someone could see us...-

-No, only couples go here, and then there are the trees!- said the brunette, trying to get closer.

Ludwig untied the other's legs from his back, walking away and getting to the heart of the matter.

-Aren't we going a little too fast?-

-Too fast?-

-Yes, well... kissing like this... we've only known each other for a few days.-

-So what?-

Who knows why he expected such a sentence.

-Maybe we shouldn't...-

-And who says that?-

He ran a hand over his face, looking for the words to open that thorny subject that was pressing on him.

-Feliciano, why me? There are billions of people in the world, why did you choose me among all of them? -

-Because I like you.-

Ludwig couldn't understand that frankness, that ease with which the Italian expressed his feelings.

-But I'm a boy!- he finally blurted out, letting out the fear and embarrassment that he always kept strictly hidden.

Feliciano blinked in amazement as he began to understand what his companion's problem was.

-So what?- he said smiling -If a person is beautiful and liked, what difference does it make if they are male or female?-

Ludwig stared at his feet, surprised by that sharp phrase.

-Ludwig, do you think anything would have changed if one of us had been a woman?-

He didn't know, in fact; it was a decidedly complicated question at the time. He felt Feliciano's hands delicately lift his face, comparing his lost and embarrassed gaze with the reassuring and decisive one of the Italian, and the German could have drowned in those dark and deep eyes.

-In my opinion, no. Because that's how you are. My advice is that you should think less and act more.-

-In what sense?-

-You should jump!- As he said this, Feliciano let himself slide down the trunk with a hop -You can't think about the consequences of everything you do, you have to try some things to know what will happen.-

Ludwig was struck by those simple words: Feliciano was right, perfectly right, but it still seemed so strange to him... He wasn't like Feliciano, so sunny and positive: he thought, thought, thought, definitely too often and sometimes even wrong, but what could he do if he was like that? What could he do if he could never dive in and seize the moment?

-We have arrived!-

Ludwig didn't even realize he had arrived in front of Feliciano's apartment building. He stopped a little awkwardly and said: -I'm sorry for boring you, Feliciano... I didn't want it to end like this.-

The first thing he felt were those thin arms hugging his body pleasantly.

-What are you saying, Lud? I had a lot of fun! It was a wonderful day.-

Feliciano raised his smiling face towards Ludwig's, looking at him softly.

-You didn't like it?-

-No, no... it was beautiful...-

-So what? Ludwig, you worry too much.-

-I know...-

Ludwig didn't know exactly what happened, what supernatural force took possession of his body, but he responded to the embrace, smiling serenely, enjoying the shiver of amazement and pleasure that shook Feliciano, who happily rubbed his face against his chest. Because for once, he couldn't think about the consequences or anything else and just let himself go. For once, he could seize the moment.

Chapter Text

Fireworks

It was nine a.m. when the cell phone rang.

Ludwig turned over in bed, groaning in annoyance: he must have forgotten to turn off the alarm.

He fumbled for the phone on the bedside table, but felt someone grab it before him, making him stop. He didn't even have time to think about thanking that person, before the phrase he heard a moment later made him forget all his good intentions.

-Hallo? Hi, Feliciano! How are you?-

Ludwig jumped up from the bed, immediately pointing at his brother sitting on the bed a little further away, who was grinning amusedly at the younger man's expression.

-Oh, Ludwig? Do you know he's still sleeping? And yes, he's a great sleepyhead!-

-Gilbert, give me back my cell phone!-

-Maybe you should call back later...-

Ludwig angrily launched himself at his brother, pinning him to the bed and snatching the phone from his hand.

-Feliciano?-

-Oh, ciao Lud! But weren't you sleeping?

-No, it's Gilbert who is an idiot.-

In response the albino chuckled, after having managed to free himself from the younger man's grip.

-Ahahah! Say hi to me anyway! - Feliciano said with his usual crystalline voice. Could one be addicted to something like that?

-Anyway, I called you to find out if you were free this evening.-

As usual, Feliciano didn't mince his words.

-This evening?- asked Ludwig, taking time, while Gilbert looked at him interested with that usual grin of his.

Oh no! Gilbert couldn't possibly expect to stand there staring at him for the entire duration of the conversation!

Ludwig got up from bed, promptly turning his back on his brother, who cursed indignantly, evidently very busy listening to the dialogue.

-Yes... are you already busy?- asked Feliciano from the other end, misunderstanding the long silence.

-No, no!-

“How could I give another answer after that tone that seemed to beg me?” Ludwig thought.

-Ah, good! Because they will have fireworks at the seaside. You absolutely must see them, they are so beautiful!-

-Um... okay.-

-Then I'll see you at nine this evening in front of the Quattro Cavalli fountain*. You know where it is, right? Well, it's the fountain with the horses anyway, okay?-

-Um... yes, I think...-

-Ok! Tell Gilbert and the others too! See you later!-

Not even time to return the greeting as Feliciano had already ended the call.

Ludwig put the phone back, lying back on the bed, while Gilbert chuckled amusedly, as always.

-So? What did your boyfriend tell you? -

-He invited us to see the fireworks this evening.-

-Did he invite us?-

-Yes, you too.-

-Oh well, we'll leave you alone.-

Ludwig sighed heavily. A week had passed since that first date and he and Feliciano had seen each other several times in those days, both to get to know each other a little better, and to... well, to do other things too, but all those meetings had always been a few hours in the afternoon, in the spare time that Feliciano found between one job and another. Going out at night, alone… it seemed so challenging. Couples went out at night, right? But were the two of them to be considered a couple?

-Don't do it.-

Ludwig turned confused to his brother, who was staring at him critically.

-To do what?-

-To think!-

Ludwig snorted, turning his back on him.

-Come on! I thought you were getting used to it by now. How long have you been dating? Ten days?-

-A week.- the youger specified – Anyway, why don't you go out and annoy Francis or Antonio?- In short, Gilbert had come to Rimini to have fun with those two, right? Why didn't he stay with them all the time, leaving him alone for at least ten minutes? He didn't think he was asking for much.

Gilbert dropped into the next bed.

-Francis went shopping and I really didn't feel like hanging his bags for him, and Antonio where do you think he is?-

Ludwig stared silently at the ceiling.

-Why don't you want to go out this evening?-

Gilbert's voice ruined that beautiful but very brief peace.

-I didn't say I didn't want to go out.-

-So what's the problem?-

-Gilbert, you make it too easy.-

-And who ever said it was easy to stay with someone? It's just that you're making your life way too complicated.-

Ludwig turned to his brother, slightly surprised.

-How long have you been so profound?-

The usual toothy grin answered him.

-Always! I'm perfect, I thought you knew that.-

-Perfect? Don't you think you're exaggerating? -

-When you're cool, why would you say you're not? It would be hypocritical.-

Ludwig chuckled, getting up from the bed.

-So, are you going to date with Feliciano this evening?-

-I think so.-

The answer came out so quickly and confidently that even Ludwig was surprised.

-Oh! Finally you take the plunge! As soon as I see Feliciano I will thank him properly.-

Gilbert stood up as well, grabbing a beach bag from under the bed.

-Well! I'm going now.-

-Where?-

-To the beach!-

-To the beach? But you'll get burned! You can't go there at this time.-

-Hey! I put on sunscreen, what do you think?-

-You know very well that it doesn't help you at all.-**

Gilbert snorted with superiority as he walked confidently towards the door, which opened just at that moment.

-Mon Dieu, mes amì! You should see how many clothes that...-

Francis' jovial and passionate tone stopped instantly, while his eyes caught sight of the albino about to leave. To say that Francis had turned red was an understatement, Ludwig thought.

-Gilbert! Where the fuck do you think you're going!?-

* * *

-You're an idiot! Don't ever do it again, okay!?-

Ludwig just couldn't get used to that side of Antonio: he was so authoritarian and, let's face it, scary, that in those moments he seemed possessed by who knows what strange entity.

It was nine p.m. and they were in front of the fountain waiting for Feliciano. Meanwhile, Ludwig listened from a safe distance to Antonio's lecture to Gilbert; after he had been caught sneaking away towards the sea at the hottest hours, Antonio and Francis had not stopped scolding him for a moment.

-You know that you can only go to the beach from seven in the evening onwards!-

-But it's so little!-

-I don't care if it's little! You have to be careful, dammit! If you do anything like that again, I swear we'll take you home right away.-

-Hey, you're not my parents!-

-We can become even worse...-

And Ludwig had no doubts about it.

-Luuud!!-

Ludwig didn't even have time to turn around before he felt Feliciano jump on him, clinging to him in a warm and crushing embrace, in the middle of everyone obviously.

-Feliciano... please move...- he tried to implore the German, who was highly ignored. Feliciano rubbed against him comfortably.

-I'm glad you came...-

Ludwig blushed, while his head began to scream “In the midst of everyone! He's doing it among everyone!”

-Oh, Feli! Won't you say hello? -

The Italian moved away slightly to greet the other three, allowing Ludwig to catch his breath.

-Where is Lovinito? Is he coming later? - Antonio asked, looking around hopefully.

-No, Lovino is singing at the “Rose and Crown” tonight. It's a shame, he really likes fireworks...-

Antonio groaned in disappointment.

Gilbert, putting an arm around his shoulders, said: -No, Antonio, don't make that face. Now let's go and give him a nice surprise, what do you think? -

The Spaniard resumed his usual jovial smile again, while with Francis he already began to walk towards the club.

-Do you mind if we split up?-

The slightly sarcastic tone was only caught by Ludwig, or so it seemed to him, since Feliciano responded in a very naive way.

-Good! Let's go listen to Lovino! You two have fun...-

Gilbert finished the sentence with a mischievous wink, and then followed the other two friends.

Well, Ludwig had expected it after all; only guys like that could come up with such a pathetic excuse to leave them alone. But they had actually done him a favor: he didn't think he would be able to relax in the presence of those three.

Feliciano, after having enthusiastically greeted the others, grabbed Ludwig to drag him who knows where. The German was quite surprised when it suddenly stopped.

-Feliciano, what is it?-

The boy had wide eyes, a frightened gaze that seemed to be staring into space. Ludwig looked in that direction, noticing a small group of men a little further away.

-Feliciano, who...-

Ludwig couldn't finish the sentence, while the excited voices of that group seemed to call them. The Italian remained stiff as a piece of wood, his face tense and anxious. The only time Ludwig had seen that look was during their first meeting at the nightclub, when he had gotten angry at Feliciano. He was really starting to dislike this.

-Feliciano! Ma come, non ci saluti più?- [-Feliciano! Why don't you say hello to us anymore?-]

One of the men had approached them, on his face the slimiest expression Ludwig had ever seen: everything about him stank exaggeratedly, he didn't think he'd ever smelled such a smell before, not even at the Oktober Fest. His greasy black hair fell messily across his pockmarked face and his small eyes stared obscenely at Feliciano. This upset the German so much that without thinking he pulled the boy towards him, throwing a contemptuous look at the man. The man, slightly surprised at first, let out a horrible grin.

-Ah, vedo che sei in dolce compagnia... Non sapevo che adesso ve la faceste anche fuori dal night.- [-Oh, I see you're in good company... I didn't know that now you were also messing around outside the nightclub.-]

Ludwig would have given who knows what to know Italian instantly, but instead he could do nothing but continue to throw malevolent glances at those ugly guys. But why were they angry with Feliciano?

-Non me la sto facendo con nessuno, e ora andatevene. Noi abbiamo chiuso con voi.- [-I'm not messing around with anyone, and now go away. We are done with you.-

Feliciano clung tightly to Ludwig, as if to strengthen himself, as he pronounced that sentence.

-Davvero? Allora tuo fratello non la pensa allo stesso modo.- [-Really? Then, your brother doesn't think the same way.-]

-Smettila, mio fratello non è più nel vostro giro da sei mesi.- [-Stop it, my brother hasn't been around for six months.-]

-A me risulta diversamente, sai? A meno che Giò non si sia picchiato e preso a morsi da solo. Tu ne sai qualcosa?- [-It seems different to me, you know? Unless Giò hit and bit himself. Do you know anything about it? -]

Ludwig noticed Feliciano's gaze becoming frighteningly serious.

-Ti ho detto che Lovino non c'entra.- [-I told you that Lovino has nothing to do with it.-]

-D'accordo, però è sempre tra i piedi, quello stronzetto. O la smette o la pagherà molto cara, e non solo lui... Diglielo, per cortesia.- [-Okay, but he's always around, that little bastard. Either he stops or he will pay dearly for it, and not just him... Tell him, please.-]

Feliciano suddenly turned pale and Ludwig, overcome by panic and anger, dragged him away as quickly as possible, hoping that they wouldn't follow them and fortunately they did.

The blond stopped only when he began to feel calmer and no longer heard those raucous laughter in his ears.

-Feliciano, are you okay?-

Ludwig stood in front of him, his large hands resting delicately on the other's frail and trembling shoulders. In the light of the neon lights and the pale moon, the German noticed the plump cheeks streaked with fresh tears. The wave of anger and fear shook him harder than before, but a moment later Feliciano raised his face, giving him, between his slightly red eyes, a broken smile.

-Yes... Thanks, Lud...-

Ludwig reassured himself a little, and then asked worriedly: -Who were those?-

The smile that the young man had laboriously opened melted like snow in the sun. It was truly horrible to see that sad face, it was like a field in spring without grass and flowers; but Ludwig wanted to know what had happened, he had to know.

-No one important...-

-What did they tell you?-

-Nothing, really.-

-You were shocked. Tell me what happened.-

-Ludwig, really, it was nothing...-

-Feliciano, tell me the truth!-

Ludwig was very sorry for having raised his voice, he knew that when it happened Feliciano would get scared, but he wanted to know. He absolutely wanted to know what those two brothers were hiding, because deep down he cared; he had known them for what, ten days? Yet he was worried.

Perhaps the brunette understood his intentions, because he was no longer so alarmed by his order, but looked at him for a long time, as if to make sure that he could trust him, that he could really let off steam with someone.

The Italian looked down, biting his lip.

-If I tell you, will you still care about me?-

Ludwig stared at him in confusion; what the hell did he mean?

However, Feliciano's gaze seemed really worried and anxious, so he played along, promising that absurd thing.

-They are the people who told us for the first time about “Siberian's Midnight”... and about prostitution...-

Ludwig's eyes widened in shock. In theory he shouldn't have been so surprised by this discovery. It was logical that Feliciano had some bad times, but Ludwig still couldn't understand it: that beardless face and that naive child's look really didn't suit such places.

-You don't care about me anymore, do you?-

Feliciano's little voice brought Ludwig back to reality. The blond sighed loudly before answering.

-What are you saying? Why do you think such a thing?-

Feliciano seemed to be searching for words as he tortured his trembling fingers.

-Every time someone finds out what I do, they don't want to talk to me anymore...-

-Feliciano, you forget that we met right at the nightclub. I already knew what job you did.-

-Yes, but it's always a bad thing...-

Ludwig pursed his lips, trying not to appear too pitying. It couldn't have been easy for Feliciano to relate to someone; he understood his discomfort.

-Well... I didn't say that I no longer care about you... I was just worried...-

Those few words embarrassed him to the point that he couldn't look up higher than his feet. He had never gone this far in talking about his feelings to Feliciano; let's say it could almost be considered as a declaration of love.

He felt the Italian's arms wrap around him tightly, while a relieved expression appeared on his face, as if a great weight had been lifted.

Ludwig, increasingly red and embarrassed, patted him on the shoulder, hoping he would go away soon, but in response he raised his bright eyes in silent thanks, which warmed the German's heart.

-Come on! I'll take you to eat a delicious fruit salad!-

As always, Feliciano promptly changed the subject, but this time Ludwig thought he'd let it pass. After all, he had managed to discover something about him. And then he no longer wanted to see that face made to smile, so worried, at least not that evening.

As he stared at Feliciano eating his fruit basket with gusto, he began to understand why Antonio had become so fond of those two boys: they didn't deserve that life, not at all. They put in so much effort and then got nothing in return. Why was the world so cruel to them? Now the Spaniard's behavior seemed more than logical to him.

-Ve', Lud! The fireworks will start soon! Let's go to the beach, so we can see them better.-

Ludwig followed the Italian, who was hopping happily towards the chaotic and brightly lit street. Well, that was the part of Rimini that Ludwig would never have wanted to see: too many people, all crowded together in small pubs and restaurants, or simply walking in large groups taking up the entire sidewalk. He felt terribly uncomfortable and out of place, pushed around by strangers. He warned Feliciano to drag him out of that crowd.

-How many people! I didn't think they wanted to see all the fireworks, how nice!-

“Yeah, really nice...”

Feliciano's elbow nudged his arm in a friendly way, staring at him amusedly.

-But I think you don't really like being around so many people, right?-

Ludwig blushed slightly, while the Italian chuckled, looking around.

-Ve'! There's the port over there! We can stand near the rocks, there is almost never anyone there.-

Ludwig followed him without being asked again; anything as long as they got out of that chaos!

It took them only a few minutes to arrive, and the calm and silence of that area seemed to him to be the most beautiful in the world.

Feliciano quickly sat down near the boulders, followed closely by Ludwig.

-Ah! I really like it here! - the brunette rejoiced after sitting down on the light sand, while Ludwig looked around: in fact it was really calm and rarely anyone passed by. Maybe he was even a little too calm... It stung him a little, and his doubts were founded when he felt Feliciano snuggle close to him, his face rubbing gently against his shoulder.

-Feli...- the German replied, trying to distance himself, but the amazed and slightly disappointed face of the other made him give up his impulse to keep his usual distance. Then, looking around again and having made sure that there was no one nearby, he dared to put his arm around the boy's small shoulders. Ludwig found himself thinking that it was an extremely sweet and romantic moment, made even more beautiful by the sound of the nearby waves crashing a few steps away from them, and by the light breeze that blew warmly in the air.

-Ve'! They're starting!-

Ludwig raised his eyes to the sky, while the first bangs began to echo through the buildings and illuminate the seafront. The brightly colored fires were reflected in the attentive and wide eyes of the two boys, fascinated by those flowers and spirals that were artistically intertwined with funny pinwheels, and by cascades of golden and silver rain that fell slowly like stardust. Feliciano quivered happily in his companion's strong arms, emitting soft cries when a bang was more intense or bigger than the others, and then pointing to it just like a child does, remaining totally enraptured. After the last volley of colored fires, the Italian joined the crowd in the great applause of admiration and thanks for the firemen.

-They were beautiful, right?-

Ludwig smiled at that enthusiastic expression, his eyes still shining from all those streamers.

-Yes, a lot.-

Feliciano responded to the smile by delicately placing his lips on the soft and thin ones of the other, who was amazed and stunned by this spontaneous gesture.

-Feliciano... why?-

The boy burst out laughing, a lively laugh, which made the blond curious.

-But do you always have to find a reason for everything? I did it because I wanted to do it.-

Feliciano's gaze suddenly became more mischievous, while his lips slowly approached again.

-What about you?-

Another kiss followed those sensually whispered words, a deeper kiss, which made Ludwig's body vibrate like a violin string. Ludwig closed his eyes, letting himself be carried away by that hurricane of sensations and shivers: it was so beautiful that he couldn't help but let go. Those expert fingers that intertwined in his hair, the cool tongue that slowly traced the contours of his mouth. It was all magical and perfect. Ludwig suddenly felt like a little girl with her first boyfriend, which made him feel very stupid.

The German's arms tightened tightly around Feliciano's waist, who almost immediately straddled him. This sudden move made Ludwig a little nervous, and he began to understand the other's true intentions.

-Feliciano...-

The Italian's gaze had never been so full of malice that Ludwig could remember, and on the one hand it worried him, but on the other he appreciated it.

-What is it? Don't you like it?-

The gentle whisper he breathed into his ear set off many electric shocks, even in rather private places.

-N-no... it's just... well...-

Feliciano chuckled, having sensed the other's discomfort.

-Is this the first time for you?-

The silence spoke for him. The hands slowly went down to the hem of the shirt, giving him pleasant pangs with every touch.

-Then, leave it to me. Do you trust me?-

Ludwig looked up, meeting those confident and determined eyes again. Yes, he trusted him, he didn't know why, what was the strange instinct that had put all his fears to sleep, but he would have done anything for that boy, even if he had only known him for a few days. What was the atmosphere, so magical and inviting? Or maybe Feliciano's hot body on top of his?

He remembered a conversation he had had with Antonio some time before: they talked about love at first sight. The Spaniard's words echoed in his ears: -Don't believe those who tell you that love at first sight doesn't exist. It exists, of course it exists! Only it's more complicated. You know, when you suddenly fall in love, the impact is so strong that it shocks you, and the passion is so great that it risks slipping away at any moment. It's up to you to manage it and make sure that its flame never goes out.-

So he listened to that advice, completely let go of his fears and tried to manage that strange feeling that throbbed feverishly with every touch of the Italian, with every gasp and with every caress. Ludwig could have died there, in that instant, and not noticed; lying on the cool beach, lulled by the rhythmic sound of the waves, their clothes abandoned a little further away; Ludwig gently kissed that pale skin that smelled of salt and summer, while the other responded with passion, nibbling and sucking excellently on his neck, his shoulders, his cheekbones.

Those small hands rested as if by chance on Ludwig's penis, already at attention for a long time, and, letting out a light sigh, he abandoned himself to that sweet touch.

-Do you like it, Lud?-

That thin and sensual voice almost made him come. He opened his eyes for a moment to contemplate that perfect body lying on his legs, and he couldn't help but adore it. Without answering, Ludwig launched himself to kiss that smooth chest, his hand clumsily searching for the other's erection; he wanted to make Feliciano also experience those wonderful sensations that he felt and that he wanted to never end. The Italian's barely contained cry was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

An instant later the lips met again, rediscovered each other, discussing a dialogue of their own.

Ludwig felt Feliciano move slightly, without stopping kissing him, and then felt the cold contact of a condom.

-Do you mind?-

Feliciano whispered between one kiss and another, his fingers expertly caressing the back of his neck.

Ludwig, amazed more by the speed and immediacy with which he had managed to perform that maneuver, quickly shook his head. He didn't mind, even if it scared him a little, because he more or less understood what was going to happen shortly.

The boy above him, in fact, began to position himself above his cock, but something clicked in the German's mind.

-Wait! I'll hurt you.- he stopped him scared.

Feliciano blinked in surprise, then noticeably softened his expression.

-No, you will never hurt me.-

Ludwig held his breath as the young man lowered himself onto him with a fluid thrust. That hole was so tight and hot you could drown in pleasure. The blond noticed that Feliciano was thinking exactly like him, reading on his face the same emotions he was feeling at that moment. The Italian barely got up to lower himself again, and again, and again. Ludwig had lost track of how many times that body had moved on top of his, as his hands roamed his thin back and trembling thighs, responding to the movements with ever-increasing thrusts.

-Ludwig... Ludwig..- Feliciano called above him as he pressed himself against him, rubbing their chests against each other. That voice made Ludwig go into ecstasy, it was the straw that broke his tense and on-the-limit body. It was as if the fireworks were inside him and as they exploded they gave him absolute pleasure. Feliciano followed soon after, burying his face in his neck, his teeth biting into the taut skin of his shoulder.

For long moments they remained still, hugging each other and panting, listening to the frenetic beating of their hearts and their labored breathing. Ludwig would have liked to remain like that, to merge in that position for eternity, and when Feliciano began to move to get away, he kept him anchored to him, almost in fear that if he left him even for a moment he would lose him.

He heard Feliciano chuckle against his shoulder.

-Did you like it?-

Ludwig blushed at that usual frankness: would he ever get used to it?

-Feliciano! These are not conversations to be had.-

-Why not?-

-Because you can't say that! These are embarrassing things.-

-Do you find love embarrassing?-

At that word Ludwig skipped a beat.

Love...

Had Feliciano also felt that particular spark inside his soul? Would he also want to stay like this forever? A malicious little voice insinuated itself wickedly among those sweet thoughts: "It's not the first time he's made love to someone... Are you so stupid as to believe him?"

Ludwig violently chased away that horrible idea, hugging Feliciano tighter, because whatever his brain wanted to blame, this time he wouldn't listen.

-Anyway, you didn't hurt me, you know?- the Italian continued, wrapping his arms around his neck -It was beautiful, and I would do it again, and again, and again!-

Ludwig smiled, placing a sweet kiss on those soft lips.

-Me too.-

* * *

-What the fuck, Francis! Drive well! We almost end up capsizing!-

-Ahah! Don't worry Gil! Antonio and I have everything under control.-

The three friends, after saying goodbye to Lovino, had decided to rent one of those so-called "risciò"***, two or four-seater bicycles that looked like the Flistones' cars. The problem was that they wanted, as usual, to get noticed, and what was the better way than to put Gilbert in the front basket of those absurd vehicles? So they started wandering around the seafront, saying something to everyone, trying to create as much confusion as possible.

-Hey guys, how do you think it's going for those two? Have they done something? - the German threw in with feigned disinterest.

-Knowing Feliciano, the beach, the sea, Rimini... well, I'd say yes!-

-That would be great! I could no longer see le petit Feli so sad.-

-Of course Francis, in reality it was you who wanted to console him!-

-I instead make him a saint!- Gilbert exulted from his position -If he managed to deflower Ludwig I swear I will thank him for life!-

-Why are you so enthusiastic?-

-Are you joking?! Try to always find your brother jerking off in front of the computer! -

-Jajaja! If you're so eager to know, I can send a message to Feli.- Antonio chuckled, immediately grabbing his cell phone.

-Ahaha! Yes, do it! You can be sure that he will also tell us the details! - Gilbert said, laughing like crazy, risking falling from the rickshaw.

-So our plan worked.- said Francis, turning into a street.

-Oh yes, definitely! It should have occurred to us before bringing Ludwig to Italy.-

-Yes, it's true. And it's fun to pair people up!-

Francis looked to the right before turning into another street and his eye fell on Antonio's cell phone.

-Antonio, what is that?-

-That what?-

-That thing hanging on the cell phone.-

Antonio's eyes lit up.

-It's a phone charm!-

-Tomato shaped?-

-Yes! Isn't that adorable? My Lovinito gave it to me!-

-... You're sick.-

Chapter Text

Pub & Go

-You will love it! My brother is truly an excellent singer! - exulted Feliciano, sitting next to his partner, munching noisily on a breadstick.

That evening they had decided to hear Lovino singing at the Rose and Crown, a pub overlooking the seafront: that place wasn't exactly your typical Italian place. Indeed, it boasted of being the first "British style" pub in Italy. In fact the atmosphere, the music and the cuisine were typically English and this somewhat heartened Ludwig and Gilbert, who could have ordered some excellent beers without some French vinophile being able to hinder them.

The table they had chosen was right in front of the small stage, where a drum set and a couple of speakers had been barely squeezed into place. Could anyone really play in those miserable conditions?

-Hey, you don't know my brother yet, right?-

Feliciano's little voice peeped through Ludwig's usual thoughts.

-Was he the boy you danced with at the nightclub?-

-Yes, but you never spoke to him, right?-

In a flash, Ludwig suddenly saw himself behind the scenes of the club, with Lovino threatening him with death against a filthy wall. In fact, it wasn't as if he had spoken much to him...

-Well, not really...-

-Ah, then you will meet him this evening! I assure you that he is very nice and even funny.-

-I have the feeling that he won't like me very much.-

-What are you saying! Of course he'll like you, why wouldn't you?

Maybe because he slept with his brother?

Feliciano suddenly stopped talking, starting to talk animatedly with Antonio, leaving Ludwig to his thoughts. He still couldn't believe what had happened just the night before: when he returned to the hotel, he felt so happy and satisfied that he didn't worry about the malicious comments of the other three. According to him, it had been the best evening of his life, and some stupid jokes certainly wouldn't have affected him; but as long as it involved three idiots who only spoke because they had mouths it was one thing, having to find yourself at the same table with your lover's brother was another! Especially knowing the type of person he was...

* * *

-Lovino, did you get the extension cord?-

-Obvious! Otherwise how do we sound?!-

Lovino angrily moved a chair and then threw the extension cord at his partner.

-Where the fuck is Alfred?!- Lovino blurted out impatiently.

-He must have had a long shift in the police force.-

-Come on, stop this bullshit!-

If Alfred was a cop, he was a sweet old lady! He looked at his watch angrily.

-What time does that idiot think he'll arrive, when we're done?!- he blurted out shortly after, taking it out on the chair again.

-Hey, why are you so nervous this evening? - Arthur asked, looking at him.

Yes, why was he so nervous? He knew it all too well...

Lovino swallowed the anger that forcefully wanted to come out, and tried to improvise an astonished expression.

-What are you saying Arthur? Am I nervous?- said Lovino.

Arthur looked at him skeptically with that inquisitive look that could make even the stones speak, accentuated by the thick dark eyebrows, which would have put even the best beautician in awe, which contrasted enormously with the blond hair, gelled as always. Lovino had always wondered if all English people were like Arthur, because if that were the case, he would never have set foot in England.

-Don't talk bullshit! Tell me what's wrong.-

Lovino huffed, nervously running a hand through his hair. Arthur had become a good friend over the last year, what need was there to lie to him? Okay, they had known each other for a short time, but it was also thanks to him that he finally had a real job.

Without thinking he cast an accusatory look towards the table that could be glimpsed from behind the "scenes", if that's what you wanted to call the sheet that had been placed behind the stage.

Arthur followed his companion's eyes and then snorted himself.

-Again, Lovino? My God, you can't do this every time your brother hooks up with someone! I might start to think badly.-

Why had Lovino wanted to confide in him?

-Oh Arthur, if you're going to piss me off, there's the door, okay?- the brunette blurted out before dropping into a chair. Arthur sighed loudly, then sat down next to him.

-Look, I'm not happy to see that stupid perverted frog either, but I don't make the prima donna scenes that you do!-

-Maybe because it's not the same thing? And then don't be a poor victim, you too are willing to accept Francis's provocations.-

-What the fuck are you talking about!? He's the one who sticks his tongue in my mouth!-

-And you never did anything to take it away.-

-Fuck you, idiot!- he cursed through gritted teeth, getting up from the chair, while Lovino grinned to himself. The Italian really enjoyed pissing Arthur off as he lost his temper in his extremely English way. He certainly wasn't like him, who kicked chairs and screamed like a madman: Arthur usually managed to masterfully repress his anger like a perfect gentleman, and the few times he just couldn't take it anymore, he just snarled a few insults. Lovino's wish was to be able to totally blow it up, because it would definitely be a lot of fun. And then pissing him off made him feel a little better.

-What's wrong with him?- Arthur asked after calming down, spying on the table from behind the curtain.

-He's a shitty Kraut, that's what!- Lovino blurted out, raising his voice, risking being heard.

-That doesn't seem like a very valid reason to me...-

-You didn't see him that night at the nightclub. That perv... you could see from a mile away that he wanted to jump on my brother!-

-Am I wrong or is your job to satisfy certain itches?-

-Arthur! If you don't stop with these jokes, I swear I'll punch you!-

The Englishman let out a small smile, and then replied seriously: -I don't believe Feliciano thinks the same way, anyway...- In fact he wasn't entirely wrong, given how the young man spoke to the German, eating him up with his eyes. -It's been a while since I've seen Feliciano so happy, you know?-

Lovino waved his hand casually.

-You know that my brother is easily influenced. That potato bastard must have made him stupid! -

-Lovino, you know better than me that Feli doesn't get carried away easily. You're just jealous, and I can't understand why.-

-It's not true!- Lovino blurted out annoyed. It was absolutely not true, absolutely! -I'm just getting worried. They met during an evening at the night, you understand? -

-Like someone else I know...-

So Arthur really didn't want to understand, huh? He had to stop with those digs, they were driving him crazy.

-It's not the same.- he hissed angrily, trying not to jump on the other.

-Yes, of course, as always, right? It's never the same. You can do what you want, meet people, have a boyfriend, but for Feliciano "it's not the same". I guess you already threatened that guy, as usual. Brave not to have run away yet...-

This was enough.

-Hi guys! Sorry for the delay, but there was traffic!-

A big blond boy suddenly appeared between the two, saving the Englishman; he must have been over six feet tall, with short blond hair held back by an absurd American flag bandana, light eyes and a happy, boyish expression on his full face. Clothes that were too tight around his muscles made him look like an overgrown child while the Superman logo T-shirt and All Star jeans seemed to scream at the top of his voice: “Look at me! I'm American!”

-Alfred! How much longer did you want to take?! We're five minutes late! - Arthur shouted, throwing a punch at the other, who started laughing and hugging him.

-You really can't wait, my love?- Alfred winked, laughing amusedly.

Arthur struggled angrily.

-But what love! I told you we're late! Go get ready!-

-Relax boy!-

-Relax the fuck!! Move, damn it! - Lovino shouted in full hysteria.

Alfred approached Arthur seriously and asked: -Why is he so nervous? Does Feliciano have a boyfriend again?-

-Go to hell, both of you!-

* * *

That evening there weren't many people in the restaurant, but the chaos that made the table in front of the stage when the small group entered was enough for the entire room. Lovino couldn't even get angry with those two idiots of Antonio and Feliciano, who screamed worse than two little girls, much less with that brute next to his brother. God, how scary it was! But what kind of tastes did Feliciano have?

Lovino turned his gaze and smiled at the audience, although could that grimace on his face even be called a smile? He hadn't really smiled in so long...

He glanced quickly at Alfred, who was stuck behind the drums, and nodded to Arthur next to him, who began to play vigorously. He closed his eyes and tried to distance himself from the world as much as possible, uniting with the scratchy notes of the electric guitar, but that day it was difficult for him. The songs they had chosen were too happy for that day, he would never have been able to interpret them perfectly; he still felt angry from the earlier discussion, plus the sight of that Kraut near his brother made him even more nervous and not even Antonio's presence could calm him down. His voice came out hoarse, alien, not at all in harmony with the accompaniment, and even his movements on stage, usually much looser, seemed to be jerky. He breathed a deep sigh of relief when the last bit of the evening finally ended. With this reassuring thought he quickly thanked the audience and, followed by the other two, took refuge behind the scenes.

He felt someone pat him lightly on the shoulder.

-Yes, I know, I really screwed up this evening, I'm sorry.- Lovino blurted out embarrassed, turning his gaze towards Arthur, who instead gave him a nice smile.

-What are you saying? You were better than usual. Maybe a little too melancholy, but you weren't half bad. You're improving!-

Lovino stared at his friend in amazement as he walked away to put his guitar back. Was he really liked?

Suddenly someone attacked him from behind, hugging him tightly.

-Feliciano! Unplug immediately! You're suffocating me! - the eldest shouted, immediately recognizing that unusual way of giving affection.

Feliciano slightly loosened his grip without stopping hugging him.

-You were fantastic, big brother! Today more than usual, you know? - he shouted with admiration.

-Really?- he murmured, still unable to believe he really liked him. Ok, he was good, but it was the first time he received so many compliments.

-Yes! Let me guess, it was because of Antonio, right? - Feliciano joked, receiving a pinch in response.

-Oh, by the way!- said the younger with a big smile -I have to introduce you to someone!-

Lovino darkened. “There we go.” he thought angrily as he let his brother drag him by the hand towards the table. The usual trio of idiots welcomed them warmly, while compliments and pats on the back began flying around the room again. The atmosphere became decidedly more tense when Lovino found himself in front of the German.

-Lovi, meet Ludwig, and Lud, this is my big brother Lovino!-

As enthusiastic as Feliciano's tone was, the look Lovino gave the blond was more than skeptical. Ludwig attempted a friendly approach by offering him his hand, but the Italian stared at it in disgust as if it were infected and greeted him only with a quick nod and then sat down on the other side of the table next to Antonio. Lovino felt his brother's accusatory gaze on him, but he didn't care much: he had made him understand what he thought of that guy and it would have seemed hypocritical to pretend that he liked him.

After a few minutes, Arthur and Alfred also arrived and sat next to Lovino and little by little they all sat back at the table. Lovino had a lot of fun watching how Francis had placed himself in a strategic position right in front of the Englishman, to give him languid glances or move his foot under the table, with Alfred beside him who was smiling blissfully, not understanding a damn thing about what was happening . Ah, if only Alfred had been smarter... he would have had so much more fun!

Suddenly Lovino felt Antonio's hand resting delicately on his thigh.

-Well? - he said, pretending to be annoyed. Antonio looked back with a smile.

-Nada [Nothing]. You were very good on stage before.-

-Your compliments are irrelevant.-

-Why?-

-Isn't it obvious?-

-But Lovinito...-

-Oh, the waitress!-

Lovino felt his partner's hand slip away.

-Nobody told you to move it.- the Italian hissed angrily, holding it back angrily. They both knew very well that Lovino liked sappy things, even if he thought it was "girl bullshit."

Lovino saw his companion's satisfied smile out of the corner of his eye and fought with all his being not to smile back, so he concentrated on the waitress: she was young, with large breasts and soft curves. She had long dark hair that framed a beautiful heart-shaped face with a jovial smile, which however was contradicted by her look, a little fearful in front of a table full of men. Lovino smiled at her reassuringly, understanding her discomfort all too well: how many times he had had the exact same look in the nightclub...

-Ciao! [Hi!]- Lovino said in italian, taking matters into his own hands.

-Allora, prendiamo... quante birre? Ah sì, tre birre medie. Ah no, scusa, grandi. Poi, una coca cola e due bottiglie di vino rosso. [So, let's have... how many beers? Ah yes, three medium beers. Ah no, sorry, big. Then, a coke and two bottles of red wine.]-

The girl made a quick note.

-E per mangiare? [And to eat?]-

-Ti chiamiamo noi, ok? [We'll call you later, okay?]-

Lovino smiled at her jovially before she turned to leave. Unfortunately he noticed Gilbert's hand too late, which fleetingly touched her ass. The young woman gave him a very strong slap. Lovino backed her up with words.

-Gilbert, you're an idiot!- then he turned to the girl, switching back to Italian -Guarda, puoi versargli addosso anche la sua birra, te la pago io! [Look, you can even pour his beer on him, I'll pay for it!]-

The girl appreciated Lovino's comment, giving him a small smile, before glaring at the albino and leaving. The whole table burst into loud laughter, mocking Gilbert, who was still rubbing his sore cheek.

-You really don't know how to do things with women.- Lovino commented amusedly. -I really don't know how you managed to conquer Elizabeta that time...-

-We've always wondered that too...- Antonio grinned.

-And in fact it didn't last.- Francis pointed out maliciously.

-Shut up!- Gilbert frowned, glaring at everyone with his bloody gaze -It's certainly not my fault if that girl didn't have my amazing sense of humor! And then, mine was a gesture of appreciation for that beautiful ass, and if she didn't understand it, it's her problem.-

-I certainly don't doubt how pretty she was, but you don't treat women like that otherwise you'll be left empty-handed!- Lovino retorted.

-And I imagine you know well how to treat them, right?-

-Obviously, and that's exactly how I behaved a few minutes ago. I have no doubt that when we get out of here, she will leave me her number.-

-Really?-

-I can bet Arthur's guitar on it!-

-What...?! Don't bet my things!-

The table shook with new laughter.

Lovino looked defiantly at Gilbert, who immediately looked back. Ever since they met, they enjoyed teasing each other about the most disparate things, keeping everyone entertained with their arguments.

-You Krauts have a way with women exactly like in football...-

The table was shaken by laughter and annoyed groans.

-Oh no! Don't start again!-

-Be the first to take down your trousers and see who has the longest one!-

Gilbert silenced the comments with one hand.

-No, let him talk. I really want to hear the bullshit he spouts this time!-

-Bullshit? Does 2006 remind you of anything? -

-And 1990 doesn't remind you of anything?-

-How far back in time you had to go!-

-In terms of podiums you can't compete.-

-Only first place counts, dear, and we are at four gold medals. Just the three of you, right?

-Wait until this year and then we'll talk about it again...-

Arthur angrily entered the conversation.

-Look, Game of the Century*, do you want to continue for a long time or can we order food? We are starving!-

The dinner was pleasant, with jokes and rare effusions from the various couples. Lovino regularly threw evil glances every time his brother exchanged some sappy words with his partner, or intervened in their conversations, always trying to get Feliciano's attention. At the umpteenth serve, Lovino saw how the German began to warm up. The Italian wasn't expecting anything else; he would have shown that Kraut who he was dealing with if they even went out. However, Feliciano had already guessed everything and, with some stupid excuse, managed to get Ludwig to get up from the table to take a walk, not without first throwing a fearful warning look at Lovino, who felt strangely hurt by the gesture...

-Bien! [Good!] And what do we do now? The night is still young.- Francis said, getting up too.

-İSeguro! [Sure!] Now we're going to the seaside to dance!-

Almost the entire table stood up.

-Hey, Lovino, I'm going to get the guitar. Wait for me outside!-

Lovino nodded to Arthur and stepped out into the warm evening air. He inhaled deeply the scent of salt, leaning against the wall of the restaurant: this simple gesture managed to partially calm his discomfort. Why did it have to be the same story every time? Why didn't Feliciano want to understand that he was trying to protect him? He was just trying to make him understand that he was deluding himself again and that he would immediately suffer for it, he knew it would happen, it always happened... and instead of thanking him he also made him feel guilty, that ungrateful man!

-What a surprise... Lovino Vargas!-

Well, we were missing this too. Now the evening was perfect...

Lovino slowly turned his gaze to three men who approached him, their faces unsavory and the smell of alcohol following them. He hoped he was finally rid of those sleazy loan sharks, but apparently they had eyes and ears everywhere. But why was he surprised, then? Weren't they famous for this?

-Why in these parts? Have you had your free time? - Lovino asked sarcastically.

One of the guys started laughing loudly.

-You don't want to joke too much, kid! You're not in a good position to be a braggart.-

-And excuse the question, what position should I be in?-

-Bent ninety against a wall!- urged another with repressed anger.

Lovino raised an eyebrow, not at all intimidated by the threat, returning the hateful look that was thrown his way.

-It seemed to me that we had already clarified on this point. I have nothing more to do with you, so leave me alone.-

-We'll do it when we want it, kid, and especially when you stop being an asshole and beating up everyone in your sights. Do you know that Giò was beaten two weeks ago? -

That's why they were there. Because he had hurt one of them.

-Oh really? Good, so he'll think twice before molesting my brother.-

The fist that was thrown against the wall barely grazed his face, making him jump slightly. Today they wanted to argue, in short.

-I think you don't realize your situation...- the man breathed an inch from his face.

-And you don't realize that you smell like a pig...-

Lovino felt himself being slammed brutally against the wall, the man's hands gripping the collar of his shirt tightly. He had expected it, but he hadn't regretted his words in the slightest.

-Now listen to me carefully, Vargas.-

Lovino turned his face, unable to bear the horrible bad breath of the man in front of him for a minute longer.

-If you try to touch any of our people again, you will pay dearly.-

-Only if you also do the same with us.-

He didn't like the toothless grin he gave him at all.

-Whores don't count...-

-Hey! What the fuck is going on here? Who are you?-

The group turned to Arthur, who was approaching the criminals with a grim look.

-I advise you to stay away, blondie, if you don't want to get into trouble.- one of them said, approaching him.

Lovino took the moment to throw a powerful kick between the legs at the man in front of him, and threw a punch at the one next to him. He would have continued slashing for hours if Arthur hadn't blocked him and pulled him aside.

-Lovino! Lovino, stop! You'll get into trouble!-

The three men stood up, ready to answer, but something in the eyes of the two boys made them stop.

-Leave, immediately!- Arthur hissed ferociously, barely holding onto his friend, who with his face contorted with anger and hatred continued to throw powerful kicks and punches at the air.

-If you don't move your ass immediately, we'll see who the whore will be!- the dark-haired man finally shouted, managing to make them escape.

Lovino freed himself from the Englishman's grip and finished venting his anger against the wall. Those assholes... Let them go to hell!

-Lovino, you said you were out. Is that so?-

The brunette slowly turned to meet Arthur's inquisitive gaze.

-In fact it is so, only they didn't know it. Now that they know, they won't give me any more problems...-

Lovino suddenly felt the other's arms tug him hard: but why did everyone want to beat him today?

-Stop this bullshit! Why were they mad at you?-

-It's my business, okay?-

-No, it's not just your business and you know it well.-

Lovino freed himself from his friend's grip and looked down, frowning.

-One had beaten Feliciano...-

-And you obviously made him pay! Do you know the police exist for these things? -

-Fuck Arthur! It happened during a night at the nightclub! So they put Feliciano in prison too for prostitution! But do you use your brain?!-

This last sentence seemed to silence the Englishman, but obviously it was only an impression. Deep down he knew that Arthur hung out with the cops; he had been advising him to call them for a while, but out of pride and fear he had never done so.

-This is not a good reason to answer. Now they will take revenge! - the Englishman replied passionately.

-Anyway, after this week we won't be working in that dump anymore, so we could get help from the cops, are you happy?-

Arthur looked him straight in the eyes.

-Are you really sure they'll let you do it?-

-What?-

-To leave like this, without problems.-

Lovino swallowed. Of course they would let them go, they had to let them go.

-Certain! What do you think? -

Lovino didn't receive an answer so he used that period of free time to look for a cigarette in the pockets of his denim jacket, hoping that the other hadn't objected yet.

-And then you know me- Lovino finally grinned after a slow, liberating breath -I love risk.-

The look he received back would have made anyone shudder, but Lovino was used to it and in fact, he laughed even more openly and put a friendly arm around his shoulders.

-Come on! Let's go to the others and take the piss out of that vinophile! -

Arthur snorted in annoyance.

-I wonder why... Why do I let you win them all? You are a first class criminal and what's more I'm also justifying you!-

-The goody-goody spoke!-

-I have never reached your levels.-

-Of course... How many times have you been in reform school?-

Chapter Text

Chocolate and memories

The rhythmic patter of rain beat insistently against the apartment window; thin droplets were reflected like tears in Feliciano's big brown eyes, who stared sadly at the black clouds.

-What a shame... I would have loved to go out...-

He felt Ludwig's massive body approach shyly and wrap his muscular arms around his chest.

-It will be for another time.- he whispered softly.

Feliciano smiled, unable to help but agree; after all, you could do a lot of things at home too, especially if Lovino wasn't around to bother you! It would have given Antonio a nice gift for having taken him away for an entire day.

He positioned himself better in his partner's arms: he really liked Ludwig's hugs, they were so warm and reassuring... Contrary to his enormous and often intimidating appearance, Lud knew how to be the sweetest and most romantic person in the world: even when they held hands, the German's grip remained delicate and gentle, as if he were holding a fragile porcelain doll.

The more Feliciano thought about it, the more he became convinced that Lud was exactly the right person for him: calm, quiet, patient...

-Lud, Lud! Let's play a game!-

Feliciano slipped away from that comfortable nest, finding the cuddle time, although pleasant, exaggeratedly long. In an instant he picked up two sheets of paper under the skeptical and intrigued gaze of the other and, in a few seconds, he had built two cute little boats. With a hop he returned to the window, opened it and invited his companion to lean out onto the street; for a moment he enjoyed feeling the fresh splashes of rain on his face and catching a few drops with his tongue.

-Do you see over there?- said Feliciano pointing to the street -The alley is a bit flooded because the sewer is old. Doesn't it look like a little river? -

Before Ludwig understood his intentions, the dark-haired boy took a boat and launched it: it fluttered lightly for two floors until it fell gracefully on the water, starting to sail along the stream, until it disappeared around the corner.

-When we were little, Lovi and I always did this. Sometimes I still manage to convince him! - having said this, Feliciano put the second boat in the other's hand.

-I don't do it.-

-Why? It's fun!-

Feliciano put all the emphasis he could into that simple phrase, achieving enormous success. Ludwig's boat also flew out the window but, unlike the other, it fell to the ground with a splash and then remained there, as if dead.

-Oh, don't be discouraged Lud! I couldn't do it the first few times either, it's a matter of practice.-

-Maybe next time.- the other chuckled, closing the window.

Feliciano returned the smile and, after giving him a quick kiss, walked briskly towards the stove.

-Would you like a hot chocolate?-

-A hot chocolate in summer?-

-Well, it's not that hot today...-

Ludwig sighed, which meant giving the Italian carte blanche.

-Did you like yesterday evening?- asked Feliciano, pouring the milk into the saucepan.

The blond, sitting at the table behind him, coughed just before answering.

-Yes... It wasn't bad...-

Feliciano chuckled at such a lame lie.

-Look, I won't be offended if you tell me that you didn't have fun.- he said accompanying the sentence with a smile, thinking of making his companion more at ease but Ludwig still managed to blush.

-No really, it wasn't bad...-

-But?-

-Well, you know that these aren't really my favorite evenings.-

Feliciano took the cocoa from the cupboard and turned with a knowing smile.

-So it has nothing to do with my brother and his bad temper, right?-

Ludwig stiffened, immediately exposed. Feliciano's smile faded and he turned to finish cooking. He knew that Lovino always had that effect on the guys he dated, but for a moment, he believed that with Lud it would be different.

-I assure you he is not a bad boy.-

-I never thought that.-

Ludwig's voice came out serious and convinced, which cheered him up a little.

-It's just that he worries a lot about me, well... sometimes even too much.- Feliciano chuckled nervously, stirring the milk mechanically -But is it such a big mistake to worry about a person you love?-

-No, of course not, but I imagine there is a limit that it would be better not to cross.-

Feliciano smiled sadly, sensing an enormous truth in those simple words.

-I guess so.-

The Italian sighed, swallowed the little mess that wanted to come out and showed off one of his dazzling smiles, before serving hot chocolate with biscuits on the table. He had invited Ludwig to have fun, certainly not to talk about such sad and complicated things! But when he looked up to find confirmation of this in those clear eyes, he understood that the conversation would not be easily dismissed.

-Why does he worry so much?- Ludwig asked.

Feliciano stared at him in amazement: at first he thought it would bother him to answer certain questions, but now he felt that it wouldn't hurt to vent to someone. Indeed, Lovino had Arthur, Antonio, but what about him? Who did he have to talk to?

-You don't have to answer. If you don't want to, it's the same, it was just a question. I'm sorry if I was impolite.- said Ludwig, waking him from his thoughts.

Feliciano smiled, and tenderly taking his hands, said: -Don't worry, you weren't impolite. I was just astonished. You know, no one had ever asked me that.-

-Nobody?-

-Well, sometimes Antonio is interested, but usually when he comes he stays with Lovino.-

Feliciano felt Ludwig's fingers tighten their grip and that small gesture moved him.

-I think this is one reason why Lovi is so worried...-

-I believe so too...- Ludwig whispered, more to himself than to Feliciano.

-And then you know, I'm a bit unlucky in love...- added Feliciano with a nervous laugh.

-I can hardly believe this, but if it's any confort, there are two of us.-

-When you do my job, it's not that hard to believe.-

Feliciano smiled at him as he crossed those blue irises, so guilty of not having thought of it. But that was also why he liked Lud so much: he had always felt normal with him. Never felt uncomfortable, never a word out of place.

-And why are you unlucky? - he asked point blank, intrigued.

Ludwig looked down, embarrassed.

-Because I'm still accepting myself...-

-Oh! I hope I can help you, then! - Feliciano chirped, remembering almost with nostalgia his first hidden kisses. They were fond memories, and he hoped that one day they would be fond memories for Ludwig too. The blond seemed to cheer up at that sentence and replied: -More than you imagine.-

It was Feliciano who blushed, he didn't know if out of joy or embarrassment, but he was too happy to care.

-Can I ask you another question? - the German asked again.

-Sure!-

Ludwig cleared his throat, slightly uncomfortable.

-How... how did you end up in that night club?-

This time Feliciano felt something, like a pang, right in the pit of his stomach. He didn't like that question and he wasn't so sure he wanted to continue venting, but... He looked at Ludwig, his serious, attentive look. Why shouldn't he have told him? Maybe because deep down he knew that their story would remain just an adventure, and talking about his personal facts to someone he would never see again didn't seem like a brilliant idea. But who else was there? Ludwig was now there with him, just for him: he wouldn't have run away in the middle of the speech to go to his love, or perhaps because someone he cared about more was calling him.

Feliciano swallowed and taking a deep breath began his speech.

-We were just over 18 when our grandfather died and we didn't have a lot of money to support ourselves. We had to find work.-

-Didn't you have any friends who could help you?-

Feliciano smiled bitterly, sipping his hot chocolate slightly.

-You'd be surprised to see how your "friends" disappear as soon as you're in trouble...-

As he told the story, Feliciano felt like one of those unfortunate characters in dramatic novels. Pathetic.

-Anyway, we couldn't find work, anywhere. At most we managed to stay in one place for a month or two, then they kicked us out. The reasons were always the same: Lovi argued with someone, very often with his boss, and I didn't have enough experience. We didn't know what to do anymore. Then Lovino came home one day with a lot of money. I thought he had found a job, I thought that maybe luck had wanted to try to help us, after all we deserved it a little, right? -

Feliciano let out another laugh.

-It was obvious that I was wrong.-

Ludwig listened, in silence. The speech, obviously, would not take a good turn, but he remained immobile and impassive, listening patiently. Feliciano was struggling to say something like that, but even though his voice trembled and his eyes wandered brightly around the room, he continued undaunted. Lud's hands hadn't moved from his and that helped a lot.

-I found out a month later what that "fabulous" job he was doing to support us. Only I couldn't tell him not to do it, to find others, because there were no others, because we could live with that. So I helped him.-

He stopped for a moment to catch his breath: he didn't think it would be so exhausting to talk about his life. He gripped his companion's hands a little tighter.

-Lovino didn't speak to me for days. He was really angry! He hoped that at least I could make a decent living for myself. Luckily my big brother is all smoke and fire, and his anger soon dies down.-

Feliciano felt much better after letting off steam, and remembered that he had only felt so good one other time: the night he met Lud. Even on that occasion the German had peppered him with questions, but he had immediately felt at ease and had launched into telling anecdotes that he usually kept hidden, waiting for his mind to erase them.

-Then, finally, luck really wanted to turn: both Lovino and I found a job that we like, and we met Antonio, Arthur and Alfred, who helped us get out of bad times. And then after this week we won't work at the nightclub anymore!-

Feliciano concluded everything with a smile and, gently untangling his hands from those of his companion, began to sip the not-so-hot chocolate again -After all, this story isn't that bad, right? It has a happy ending.-

Ludwig hadn't said a single word: not a comment, not a curse, absolutely nothing. He stared at the young Italian with his mouth open, his eyes slightly wide, and that was it. Feliciano, however, didn't worry too much, just noticing how funny he looked with that expression. Ludwig certainly would have liked to ask him more questions, ask for clarifications, ask why and why, it was obvious, but Feliciano was happy now: he had let off steam, he had faced the ghosts of the past for that day and that was enough for him. It was always better to approach these serious and complicated matters calmly. And then he had already understood something important after all that talk and he certainly didn't want some other stupid argument to hide that beautiful certainty.

Feliciano got up from the chair and sat lightly on the other's legs.

-Obviously the best luck was meeting you, but it seemed so obvious to me that I didn't say it first. You understood that, right? -

And Ludwig understood and finally changed his expression, relegating the questions to some drawer of his mind.

His Lud was so smart and perceptive, he never had to say everything in detail, sometimes a simple sentence or perhaps a distracted gesture was enough and nothing else. There was a term for this thing... What was it called? It was a subject he hated in high school... oh yeah! Chemistry!

Feliciano tenderly rubbed his nose against the other.

-Did you like the hot chocolate?- he whispered against his lips.

-Yes a lot. Too bad it's over.-

He positioned himself better on his legs, a mischievous light in his eyes.

-Well, now I taste like chocolate...-

* * *

-But do you think that's a hickey?-

-Nien, nien! It's just a pinch, don't you see?-

-No Gilbert, you're wrong, that's really a hickey.-

-Come on! So small? And then with the dot in the middle?-

-Where do you see the dot?-

-It's right there! That's a hickey instead!-

-No, that's the bruise you gave him while you were arguing.-

-Are you sure?-

-Yes, and I tell you that the one from before is a hickey. Lovino too...-

-Mon dieu, Antonio! Couldn't you change the subject every now and then? -

Ludwig slowly opened his sleepy eyes, receiving three winking glances in response.

-FUCK YOU ALL!-