Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sebastian wakes up with a start. He stares at the ceiling for a few moments before he notices slow, heavy footsteps outside his room. He sucks in a breath and holds it for a moment before sitting up as quietly as he can and releasing it.
Slowly, he picks up his clothes from across the floor and throws them on. He quickly drags a brush through his tangled hair and grabs his backpack. As he starts for the door he remembers his phone and earbuds next to his bed, going back for them.
Before he leaves his small room, he opens the door only a crack and looks for his Dad, barely spotting him in the kitchen. He waits until he's occupied and creeps out towards the front door, practically diving through the screen door. As he starts down the sidewalk towards school he hears his father shouting.
"Get me some cigarettes!"

On the way to school, he runs into his best friend Kris. Kris is weird. They say all humans are weird. He thinks humans are cool.
Kris complains that they forgot to do the math homework last night and asks if Sebastian has it.
"Yeah, I actually did it for once." He searches through his backpack for a moment before he realizes. He forgot half of his stuff at home because he was doing schoolwork. "Aw fuck, I don't have half my shit!"
Kris says that Noelle can help both of them, she always has the homework.
"Yeah, but she always makes me work for it. She's such a know-it-all!"
They chuckle and agree.

When they arrive at school, they find that Noelle and Berdly are already in their seats next to each other. Noelle waves and Berdly smugly grins.
"Looks like we are more punctual than thou'st! As per usual!"
Noelle sniggers, "I got here before you did, Berdly."
"Yeah, but! I'm still! They're late!"
Kris sputters out a restrained laugh, but Sebastian just rolls his eyes. "Uh, do you have today's math homework? I forgot half my stuff at home today."
Noelle looks serious now. "C'mon Seb, you know I can't just give you the answers!"
"But I actually did it! I really did but I forgot it at home!"
The deer girl sighs loudly, "Fine, just this once. But don't forget again!"
He quickly copies over from noelles notes and double checks it, thanking her profusely.

Another typical school day for everyone. Even lunch is boring. The only highlight for Sebastian is Noelle's tutoring on the history lesson. He still has no idea what any of it means, but at least he won't fail the review next week.
The rest of the day he struggles to pay attention and listen in class, constantly distracted or bothered by something or someone else. When he does get out of school he barely sticks around to say bye, rushing to get to work.

← - - - - →

Ice-E's is easily the worst place to work in all of Hometown.
It's loud, always smells weird, has kids running around all the time, and pays like shit. But at least it pays.
Sebastian spends most of his time cleaning the arcade floor and restocking the prize counter, as well as dealing with kids and parents alike. He even has to run p"e"zza's sometimes.
At least he has Liz, his manager. Whenever they get a moment to rest, they sit behind the prize counter, and commiserate about their life, mostly school. Liz is kind of like an older sister to Sebastian. She's so driven and earnest, everything he wants to be. Aside from a frog with speckled blue skin and giant red eyes.
All is quiet when Liz asks a question. "Why do you take this job so seriously? It's not like I give you a hard time and the owner is never here unless it's the weekend."
He considers for a moment. "I guess I just don't wanna let you down, y'know?“
She stares and laughs before she says, "you're so serious, dude!"

When they start to close up, everything gets wiped down and they begin turning off games. For a few moments, before they leave for the night, Seb takes in the quietude of the nearly empty building, basking in the solitude it affords. Before he can fully relax, though, Liz ushers him out of the store and locks it up.

He slowly puts his headphones on and queues up a playlist of pirated mp3's before starting towards home. The sounds of thrashing drums and screaming guitars almost imperceptibly floats across the streets as he steadily walks home.  

← - - - - →

He stops at a gas station and buys 2 packs of cigarettes. The guy at the counter never asks for ID and Sebastian is there constantly. He exits quickly and smokes a cigarette on the curb, exhaling hot plumes of smoke from his nose.
He feels his mind quieting as the nicotine rushes to his head. When he reaches the butt, he flicks it into the street and walks on towards his house.

When he arrives, his father is already asleep, snoring loudly on the couch, brown bottles strewn about the floor. He places one pack of cigarettes on the table next to him before quietly trudging back to the small, dirty room he sleeps in.
He haphazardly throws his clothes across the floor and drops his backpack on the ground next to his bed. After flopping onto the mattress, he digs for his homework and begins working on it, constantly distracted by the sounds of his dad rustling, sounds outside his window, and anything else besides school.
He soon passes out, leaving half his belongings on the floor.

He doesn't dream of anything at all.

Chapter Text

Sebastian wakes with a start.

Before he does anything else, he checks the time on his phone. The screen is so cracked he can barely use it. Sometimes he thinks it'll cut his fingers.
It's a bit early. When he checks outside his room he notices his father still passed out on the couch. He gathers an outfit and a towel and makes his way towards the shower.
He doesn't think about much in the shower. He actually does his best not to think. Not to look. He hates his body and nearly all its features. Anything he can see about himself always has some kind of flaw or defect about it. Even things he used to like about himself are slowly infected by loathing. He washes himself with his eyes closed.

When he gets out he thanks the angel for foggy mirrors and dries off and gets dressed as quickly as possible. As he brushes his hair, he catches a blurry glimpse of his own face, but it's all he needs to feel disgusted. His stubbly chin and angular jaw and permanent scowl. He looks away just as quickly as he sees it.

When he gets out of the bathroom, the behemoth of a man in the living room stirs and says his name. Sebastian tries to walk but his name is repeated, louder this time, freezing him in place, anticipating.

"Why were you out so late," the man growls.
"I was at work. I got you your cigarettes."
"Sure took your sweet fuckin time about it, huh?" He pauses. "You deaf or something, boy?"
"S- Sorry, I'll be faster next time."
"Damn right," he huffs.

Sebastian moves towards his room again, nearly tripping over himself getting to the door. He closes it quickly. He breathes a shaky sigh as he gathers up all of his school materials, double checking to make sure it's all there. He didn't finish everything, but he still got enough done so he can finish the rest with Noelle at lunch.

After making sure he has everything, he quickly leaves, sprinting through the living room as his Dad calls out to him.

"You better be home before dark today!"

← - - - - →

As he makes his way to school he laments his time limit, wishing he could hang out with Kris after school. They always have the best time with them. But he has to go home right after school, since he doesn't have work.
He barely gets to school on time, having no time to talk to any of his friends. He struggles to take any notes or pay attention to anything in class, constantly thinking about having to go home so early.

Even when he's at lunch, he struggles to focus fully on Noelle and her tutoring. Berdly butting in for inane trivia about Pokemon doesn't help at all.

"Grrr, I can't focus at all!" He pounds his fists into the table. "I'm never gonna get this stuff."
Noelle smiles kindly. "Sure you will, Seb, you just gotta keep practicing. Maybe you should relax for now. We already got the homework for today done at least."
He stares at the table for a moment and takes a breath. "You're right. I just gotta relax."

He focuses on the conversation between Kris and Berdly, waiting for the perfect moment to make fun of Berdly. The moment arrives when he completely fumbles the type matchup in a trainer battle against Kris.

He shouts, "birdbrain!"
Berdly scoffs, "Says the moron who can't understand basic history."
This enrages him. He grabs the bluebird's collar and raises a fist.
Noelle gasps. "Sebastian, don't!"
He hesitates before lowering his fist. He drops his collar and Berdly slumps to sit on the cafeteria floor. Sebastian walks then runs out of the cafeteria. No one comes after him. He doesn't get in any trouble. He breathes heavily as he leans against a wall, alone.

When he returns to class, no one says a word to him. He pays attention and takes notes, mainly because he doesn't wanna think about how he acted before.

The bell rings and class ends. Sebastian sighs as he begins to dread what waits at home. He slowly packs his bag full of his notebooks and worksheets, crumpling new on top of old. Before he finishes, though, Kris approaches him. They ask if he'd want to come over and hang out.

He quickly weighs the pros and cons.
"Yes."

He knows he'll regret that soon.

← - - - - →

Kris and Sebastian laugh as they make their way towards the Dreemurr house. They walk inside and deposit their bags on the couch before heading into the woods behind the house.

They find a clearing where an old trash can is sitting on its side, trash spilling out and littering the ground, alongside an old log that's just beginning to rot, and a few miscellaneous gardening tools. Kris grabs a rake and begins haphazardly pushing trash back into the can before putting it upright.

Seb plants himself on the log and digs through his pockets for a lighter, finding it in his jacket's inside pocket, next to his cigarettes. Kris eventually sits next to him and produces a joint from inside their sweater.

No idea where they keep that stuff, Sebastian thinks.

Seb hands Kris the lighter and lets them light it, watching them puff a few times before passing it. Seb takes a long, deep pull and exhales through the nose. The smoke is slightly fruit, and the smell quickly surrounds him.

He feels his anxieties falling away and hands it off to Kris again. His thoughts swim around his head like a school of fish. He slumps in his seat, the weight of his own body holding him down. Kris begins speaking but it's all a haze. Something about Berdly's face. Sebastian chuckles. "He's pretty dumb lookin'..."

The two of them sit like that as the sun dips lower, turning the sky a pale yellow. Eventually, Kris puts out the joint and stuffs it back down their sweater. Together, they walk back towards the cozy, warm house.

They arrive and hear Toriel in the kitchen. They dash past her and she calls after them.

"Hi Kris! Hi Sebastian! It's good to see y'all!"

Kris says they're gonna shower and Seb can too.
He sits in the room alone and switches on the old CRT Kris has sitting on the desk. He switches to TV and watches the cartoons that are playing. He checks his phone. No messages from Dad. No messages from anyone. He fools himself into thinking that he must not care.

Kris gets out of the shower and Seb steps in, asking Kris if they can wash his clothes. Kris takes the dirty clothes and Seb steps into the bathroom and takes a shower. The Dreemurr's have a much nicer house than his. He imagines what it must be like to live in such a clean, warm house. He savors the taste he's getting.

When he gets out he throws on a pair of clean pajamas he left before, just some gym shorts and a gray tee. He goes downstairs and find Kris sitting at the table, Toriel about to serve dinner.

"I'm glad you're clean, Sebastian. Have a seat for dinner. Will you be staying the night?" She smiles the whole time.
He hesitates for a moment but then steals himself. "Yeah, if that's alright."
The goat woman hums. "As long as your parents know."

He frowns to himself but says nothing. Toriel serves a delicious cheese enchilada plate. The lizard boy scarfs it down quickly, cleaning his plate. As soon as he finishes, he regrets not savoring it.

"Thanks for dinner, Ms. Toriel." He takes his plate to the sink, conscious of his manners with every step. He can't risk making her mad. He doesn't want to leave.

The two fifteen year olds sit on the couch playing video games for hours before either of them gets tired. Sebastian looks out the window as he realizes what his father will do the next day. He can't help but hate himself for being so stupid and selfish. As he lays down on the couch, he sighs, before shutting his eyes and falling asleep.

He dreams of a giant castle for him and all his friends, far away from home.

Chapter Text

Sebastian groans as his eyes flutter open. The rays of sun shining on his face wake him up from a deep, deep slumber. He checks his phone before realizing he has only an hour before work. He jumps off the couch and panics for a moment before Kris steps into the room. 

Kris says they were waiting for him to wake. They hand him a stack of folded clothes. Sebastian takes it and goes to the downstairs bathroom to get dressed. As he rushes out of the house, Toriel tries to offer breakfast, but he leaves before she can finish. 

He dashes down the street, doing everything he can to get to Ice-E's on time. 

When he finally does arrive, he's only a few minutes late, but the place is swamped because it's the weekend. He rushes into the breakroom and puts on his uniform in a hurry, jumping into the prize counter soon after. 

Liz has to raise her voice over the noise. "Some kid is having a birthday today. They haven't even served cake yet."

Sebastian knows that kids only get louder and messier after eating cake. It's only a matter of time until they're both overwhelmed. 

The day goes about as smooth as gravel and metal shavings. Multiple kids vomit on the floor and Sebastian has to clean it up. P"e"zza's are being sent out constantly. At one point he even has to start dealing out refunds. He starts sweating through his undershirt from the constant running. 

At one point, Kris, Noelle, and Berdly show up and get dinner. He takes his break and joins them, finally eating something. 

He practically inhales the cheap p"e"zza slices and gulps down multiple cups of soda. His friends offer a slight respite from the constant bustle of the arcade and the chaos of bussing tables. At one point Pizzapants comes over with more p"e"zza and asks Kris about their brother. 

As soon as the break comes, it's gone, and so are his friends. They leave and wish Seb luck with the rest of his shift. Luckily, things have started to slow down as the day reaches its end. He only has a couple hours before he can go home.

Part of him almost wishes he could stay. 

← - - - - →

He stands behind Ice-E's P"e"zza as Liz locks up. They both stand there for a moment before Sebastian pulls out a cigarette. His lighter sparks but no flame appears. Liz pulls out a lighter and takes the cigarette, lighting it and taking a long drag before handing it back to him. He continues smoking it. 

"You shouldn't smoke those. They'll kill you."

Sebastian scoffs. "Whatever."

When they finish the cigarette, Liz leaves, waving to him as she does. He lingers for a moment, wondering if he really has to go home. He does. He's just delaying the inevitable at this point. 

He trudges towards his house, away from Liz. He pulls out another cigarette and lights it with the still burning butt of the last before putting on his headphones and walking towards home. The walk is long and slow and terrible. His joints ache from the exertion of working and he stinks like sweat, vomit, and cleaning products.

When he enters the house, he's greeted by the glowing eyes of his father, only illuminated by the dull glow of the television. 

"Where the fuck have you been," he snarls, "its been two days!"

He feels himself shrinking. "I've been at work."

" Bull shit."

"I- I stayed with a friend."

The man lets out a low guttural growl. He stands tall and approaches Sebastian, who's now shaking. "Next time," he says, before violently grabbing the boy's arm, claws like dagger pressing into his scales, "you'll tell me where you are. Or there won't be a next time ever again."

He throws Sebastian around by his arm into the tile of the kitchen. He bumps his head and feels it pound as he rises. He stumbles to his feet and runs for his room, closing the door immediately. Outside his meager sanctuary he hears sounds like breaking glass. He softly sobs to himself over the distant roar of the TV. 

Eventually he passes out. He dreams of evil kings that throw worlds into darkness. 

← - - - - →

He wakes on the floor. His phone is dead and the light spills through his broken window shades. He creeps towards the door and spies out into the house. No one's home. 

He gathers up his backpack and other belongings and puts on his cleanest clothes. Then he gathers all his clothes in a bag and puts them by the door. 

He doesn't care much for the clothes he has. They're all just convenient and comfortable. He doesn't think he's ever had the luxury of fashion. Not that he'd know what to do with it if he had. He walks slowly to the laundromat nearby, dragging bags of clothes behind him. His arm aches and he throws a bag over his shoulder. 

Once he reaches the laundromat, he checks his member card and feels relief at the modest balance. He loads up a machine and takes out a notebook so he can study. He puts his phone on the complementary charging station, hoping to get a free charge as he goes. He spends time working on homework for a few hours between loads of laundry and folding. He still doesn't get much done. People come and go but no one bothers him. 

As he gets to the last of his clothes, he goes to check on his phone. 

It's not there. 

He searches around the station and finds nothing. He asks the worker at the desk and they know nothing. He curses the Angel to himself a dozen times and a few times out loud. He quickly gathers up his stuff and begins dragging it back home.

As he approaches the house, he notices that his Dad is still missing, his car absent from the driveway. He quickly moves past it and drags the clothes into the house, depositing them into his room. He begins unpacking but decides there's no point. He simply sits in silence, thinking about how long it'll take him to save up for another phone. He'll have to download all his music again and that takes forever. 

After a while, he hears the door slam. He waits a moment before hearing the familiar sound of his father plopping onto the couch. He sits in silence as the lights grow orange and the outside grows quiet. For a moment, his world is peaceful. And then it's over. 

A shout from the living room. He stands and walks out the door. As he steps into his fathers view, the man lobs a bottle at him, shattering it on the wall and leaving a splash of shitty beer on the wall. Seb dodges, covering his face, but the next one hits him square on the head, shattering over him, drenching him in alcohol. 

He runs for his room as the man begins to throw another, hearing it shatter on the floor as he makes it to the door. He pants as he looks around the room. He grabs several changes of clothes and puts them in a pile. He grabs his backpack and puts it next to the clothes. He digs through his closet for an old duffel bag and stuffs as much of his life as he can into it before throwing on his backpack and sling the duffel over his shoulder. 

He wrenches the window open with all his might and climbs out. He runs in the direction of school and work, unsure of where to go.

He can't go to Kris like this, he'd hate it. He can't go to Noelle either, her parents probably wouldn't even let him stay. He doesn't even know where Liz lives. He runs for the school. 

He jumps the fence and walks around the back of the building, sitting next to a ramp leading into the school. He pants and feels the cold air biting his scales. He drops the duffel and lets his backpack slip off his back. He laughs to himself, but it quickly turns to sobs. 

He's so utterly alone. 

If he did dream that night, he wouldn't want to remember it.