Archive of Our Own ^beta

She reread for the possibly millionth time the notes she’d chose, eyes running from pauses, to partitures and selected rhythm, the papers in her hands almost worn by how many times she’d held onto them to correct this or that thing she wasn’t too sure about. Mais bon Dieu! It can’t be just “good”! she thought, determined.

It has to encapsulate everything, absolutely everything I feel, everything he might not feel or understand or see. It must be all present within these notes, in between these words.

She sighed, putting down that small pile of sheets where sketched pentagrams and scribbled notes were placed, and took another one up, examining the lyrics she’d put black on white as if under some kind of self hypnosis while she thought about how to best channel the entirety of the love she felt for the Sagittarius Saint through music and sung word.

She ran her fingertips over the various sentences, inhaling the scent of the ink on the sheet and piecing together all she’d done, every adjustment and replacement, finally deeming it worthy of being presented to the person she’d composed it for.

I guess I won’t know how it’ll go until I let him hear it, will I?

She placed the upper half of the small pile back down on her small desk, standing up from the chair and reaching for the gloves at the back, near her closed inkpot, putting them on as she stepped to her door and closed it

Bending just enough so that her face would be visible to the inside of the kitchen she knew Seraphina to be in, departing with a “I’ll be going down for a moment.” after the woman answered her with a smile and “Say hello to Sisyphus for me”, she opened the doors and exited the Aquarius House, taking the steps down to her destination, her heart seemingly on a self imposed bet to make her faint before she actually reached it due to how fast it was beating.

She knocked two times on the now familiar doors, inhaling deeply and trying her best to still her nerves as last minute anxiousness caught her in a web of “Did I do good enough?” and “Will he understand?”, just as she heard the catch unlocking and the doors opening to show her the very man that had been occupying her thoughts.

He looks immaculate as he always does, even when training somehow, with a simple white shirt on and dark, form fitting pants that highlight his long legs. He looks to her, cobalt eyes shining, and smiles a warm smile, which she gives him back on instinct.

“Good morning. Have you been doing okay?”

She’s so deeply thought on how to approach the subject while preparing this one thing for him, that now that the moment had arrived she could do nothing but look at him hoping he’d feel the waves of unuttered help request she was emitting.

In the middle of her half inner panic, half reverie, she feels his hand carefully lay itself on her shoulder, the feeling of it reassuring, effectively snapping her out of the turbulent agitation she was causing herself.

“Yes, as much as the preparations allow. And you? Have you been taking care of yourself? Sleeping enough?” she asked, worrying he might be neglecting himself in favour of taking care of his duties the way she’d seen in his tired gaze when the hour would come for them to have their afternoon lessons.

He snorts, eyeing her affectionately before taking her hand and guiding her inside, closing the door behind them. “Don’t worry, I am. I need to watch over the work here, after all, I need to be in good conditions.” then he makes a slight grimace. “Gods forbid Regulus does something he shouldn’t again .” That makes her laugh, thinking back of the Leo Saint grabbing a chicken thigh from Agasha’s wedding banquet before lunch time had come. Oh, the earful Sisyphus had given him that day, when she, Dégel, Seraphina and the two of them had retreated to their homes. He’d been on his best behavior for weeks afterwards.

“I’m sure if he will a certain Sagittarius will let him know to behave.” she states back, grinning at him, her mood calmer. “Though I’m glad to know you’ve been resting.” she says earnestly, letting her arm raise and extend so her hand can cup his cheek, fingers caressing his sun kissed skin lovingly. He looks at her openly, the guards he usually raises up while with his fellow Saints gone and replaced with a spiritual hallway for her to walk through, leading her to the depths that are the emotions they share with one another.

“-eed something?”

She catches herself and looks at him in the eyes, aware to have let her mind drift. “Sorry, what did you say?”

He stares at her with a knowing but well meaning look, taking her hand on his cheek in his and gently holding it down, keeping it in his warm grasp.

“I said, do you need something?”

She feels her face flush, going back to the state of mind she’d been just moments prior if somewhat less deafening before sucking in a breath and taking back the reins of her plan of action.

I need to do it now. No, I want to do it now. Now that we’re a step away from being united for life. Now that I have the strenght to let him see all of me, before courage leaves my heart.

She breathes in, and she doesn’t know in what volumes she speaks her next words because to her it’s a victory to have let them out in the first place “I’d just need you to listen to me, if you can?” and his gaze turns curious, but his face doesn’t erase his smile for long.

“Tell me what you want.” he says in a kind tone, and it’s the push she needs to do what she wants.

She gently takes his hand where it was still clasped around hers and leads them to the saloon, where  the piano is, leading him to sit on the stool with her and slowly letting go of his hand, removing her gloves.

She slides her hands lightly on the keys, placing them down to test them and finding out he tuned the instrument, making her smile at his ever present thoughtfulness.

“I wrote a song” she tells him, unable to look him in the eyes due to how much she’s burning, nervousness eating her up “and I’d like you to listen to it.” she lets out, hearing her voice lower progressively under the sound of her blood rushing.

Is it going to be enough? Will what I poured into this reach him? Will he feel it?

“I’m listening.”

She presses the keys to try out the melody and lets it silence her thoughts, inhaling through her nose. The room feels static, her own body seems to be holding a lightning within as she goes through the notes before she exhales.

L’amour a des ailes.

L’amour monte en haut du ciel,

au paradis bleu brodé d’étoiles.

Je serai tes ailes

dans ce voyage éternel,

où le bonheur frontières étend son vole.

Depuis des années lumière

je n’attends que toi,

A presént je quitte la terre,

et tu t’envoles avec moi.

L’amour monte au ciel,

oublie ta planète bleue

pour un nouveau monde des merveilles.

Saturne pour la vie,

nous offre un anneau d’or.

Pour la vie notre amour monte au ciel.

Somehow it feels that by having him beside her, her fears evaporate, as if they never existed.

Is her voice conveying how grateful she is to him? Is it expressing how dear he is to her?

I love you, I love you so much, I never thought I’d love someone like this.
Do you feel this?

Depuis des années lumière

je n’attends que toi,

Ne crains pas de quitter la terre,

je te tiendrai dans mes bras.

Je serais tes ailes,

dans ce voyage éternel,

tes rêves fous en haut du ciel

sont bien réels,

un monde nouveau nous appelle.

Pour des années lumière

au fond de l’univers,

le bonheur nous appelle,

nos deux cœur ont des ailes

mon amour, quand l’amour

monte au ciel.

She plays the ending notes with quiet calmness, a sense of peace settling on her.

Once she’d done, fidgeting slightly with her skirt and finally working up the courage, she turns to look at him. And she swears, she wishes she had a sliver of his artistic talent so she could draw him the way he currently looks.

He’s smiling a small, small smile, but it’s such a warm smile, one of those that mean to tell her all the hundreds of things he sometimes isn’t able to through speech, and she lets them reach her as her eyes lock with his and the softness in his irises drowns her.

She’s probably making a weird face right now, but she doesn’t care. She’s under whatever spell this love uniting them had cast on her and doesn’t want to break free from it.

Distantly, as if she was a mere spectator and her body wasn’t actually hers, she feels Sisyphus’ hands take hers in each of his and raise them to his face, before lowering. He touches her skin lightly, and starts placing a kiss on each of her knuckles, lingering on each one as if he were kissing a sacred item, his lips careful and reverent. When he raises his eyes to hers once again and she releases the breath she wasn’t aware she was holding, she finds they are closer than she’d realized, his body emitting warmth even if they’re only holding hands.

In the blue of his irises, she sees the sky. The sky that’s the only thing remotely comparable to the vastness of this love she feels residing inside of her, because there’s so much of it she doesn’t think a human being has loved another the way she loves him, or the way he loves her. It’s the stars she sees soarkling in his eyes, singing back to her in a reprise that doesn’t neeed vocalization to be heard.

If you’ll be my wings, I’ll be the sky around us.

I’ll be each star in the world so I can light up your smile.

It’s soft and familiar when he pulls her in and envelopes her in his arms, her nose brushing tenderly against his before her face finds a place to lay on, closing her eyes to the feel of him, just him, as they give each other gentle kisses on available skin, and everything in the world is right.