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He used to be mine

Summary:

Bilbo has been living in Erebor with Thorin for five years after the battle of five armies and they are happily together. But when Bilbo and Thorin discover Bilbo's biological father is Thranduil making Bilbo half elf, Thorin must choose between his hatred of elves and love of Bilbo.

Chapter Text

Bilbo smiled fondly at his found family; they were all sitting in the hall of Erebor having lunch together. When Bilbo had first met the Company he had no idea they would become his family, he had always been an outcast in the Shire. The other hobbits became cruel to him once it was discovered Bungo wasn't Bilbo's biological father.

They all wrongfully assumed his mother had cheated on Bungo with someone else, she had never cheated she had given birth to Bilbo before she had even met Bungo. Both Belladonna and Bungo had tried to tell everyone this when they kept accusing Belladonna of cheating, but they wouldn't believe them. Bilbo and his mother endured terrible torments from the other hobbits.

Any friend Bilbo had made always turned against him and threw insults at him. Some hobbits had noticed Bilbo's ears were more pointy than was normal for a hobbit and soon the insults focused on his ears to the point that Bilbo had felt ashamed of his ears and tried to always wear a hat or hood to hide them. So when Thorin and Dwalin started complaining about how pointy elves' ears are Bilbo felt his heart sink.

"Seriously it's just so weird how pointy they are and it's so unattractive", Thorin said with a shudder making Dwalin laugh.

Bilbo felt a pang of pain in his heart and self-consciously touched his ear wishing he had a hat with him to hide his ears from view. He knew that Thorin still hated elves he didn't approve of Kili courting Tauriel but he reluctantly allowed it after Kili said he would move to Mirkwood to be with Tauriel if he didn't. But Bilbo had hoped that would change as Thorin started getting to know Tauriel.

But Thorin still hated elves and if he felt this way about elves' ears what if he thought his ears were unattractive? Bilbo and Thorin had started courting after the battle and they had taken back Erebor which was 5 years ago, Thorin hadn't said anything about his ears but what if he had just kept it from him all this time? Bilbo thought back on their time together and realized that Thorin had never touched his ears or complimented them.

Bilbo felt panic start to creep in at the thought that Thorin could hate his ears, he hadn't missed it when Thorin had shuddered when he said elves' ears were unattractive. Bilbo looked at Thorin who hadn't seemed to notice his turmoil he was laughing at a cruel joke that Dwalin was making about pointy ears. Bilbo got up and made to leave but was surprised when Thorin gently took his wrist.

"Where are you going? You haven't eaten anything", Thorin said looking concerned at Bilbo's still full plate. It was unlike Bilbo to not eat at all.

"I um just need to get something from our room I'll be right back", Bilbo said and hurriedly left when he felt tears threatening to fall.

"What was that all about?" Dwalin said in confusion.

Thorin didn't answer he stared after Bilbo who was quickly walking out of the hall. Thorin knew something was wrong, Bilbo had not touched his food and he wouldn't normally leave in such a hurry. But Thorin couldn't think of what could have upset his love.

"You have really messed things up uncle", Fili said shaking his head in exasperation.

Fili had noticed the way Bilbo had touched his ear when Thorin was making fun of elves' ears. He knew Thorin had not meant to hurt Bilbo but how could he say such a tactless thing? Bilbo's ears were just as pointy as elves' ears were, Fili more than understood why Thorin's remark had upset Bibo.

Thorin was lucky that Kili wasn't with them and was having lunch with Tauriel, he would have yelled at Thorin for making fun of elves' ears. Fili was tempted to yell at his uncle for hurting Bilbo but he knew it would just make things worse if Thorin felt challenged, he wanted to help Bilbo not make Thorin unfairly angry with him.

"What do you mean?" Thorin said, he didn't like the condescension in his nephew's tone but he genuinely wanted to know what he had done to upset Bilbo.

Fili glared at Thorin, "You were just making fun of elves for their pointy ears and called them weird and unattractive when Bilbo's ears are equally pointy as elves' are. You hurt his feelings".

Fili felt a sense of satisfaction for Bilbo's sake when he saw the penny drop for Thorin, despite wanting to help his uncle he was angry at him for hurting someone he considered his family.

Thorin put his head in his hands, "How could I have been so thoughtless?", Thorin got up from the table "I have to go now and find Bilbo now".

Thorin rushed from the hall and ran straight to the room he shared with Bilbo ignoring anyone who tried to talk to him along the way. Thorin knew he shouldn't have ignored them but apologizing to Bilbo was the most important thing to him right now. When Thorin reached his and Bilbo's bedroom his heart broke at the sight of Bilbo curled into a ball on their bed with silent tears rolling down his face. Thorin felt even worse knowing he was the cause of his love's pain.

"Bilbo?" Thorin said quietly not wanting to startle Bilbo.

Bilbo looked up and quickly tried to wipe away his tears when he saw him. Thorin sat on the bed next to Bilbo, he wanted to hold Bilbo in his arms but he didn't know if that would be welcome right now.

"I'm so sorry for what I said, I let my hatred of elves blind me to the effect my words would have on you. I never meant to hurt you".

"Do you really think pointy ears are unattractive?" Bilbo said shakily.

Thorin cupped Bilbo's face feeling relived he didn't flinch away, "Only on elves never on you, I love your ears they are beautiful and I'm sorry I made you think otherwise".

"I used to hate my ears", Bilbo said sadly, "Everyone in the Shire hated them and insulted my ears all the time".

Thorin felt rage bubbling up inside him, how could they treat Bilbo like that? It made Thorin feel even worse that he had also insulted Bilbo's ears, he hadn't meant to but he had still caused Bilbo the same pain the other hobbits did.

"One day Henry who I used to be in a relationship with gathered some hobbits to grab me and they...." Bilbo trailed off needing to take a deep breath before continuing, "They tried to cut my ears off".

Thorin felt his heart stop at those words, "I will make them pay" Thorin snarled.

Thorin wanted to march back to the Shire right now and make those hobbits regret ever hurting Bilbo especially Henry. While Thorin had felt some jealousy at the mention of Bilbo’s past lover it quickly evaporated when Bilbo had told him what Henry had done.

"Please don't Thorin, I don't want to cause conflict between us and the Shire", Bilbo said anxiously.

While it warmed his heart that Thorin wanted to avenge him, he didn't want to risk making the Shire hate dwarves. Things were going well for Erebor now but in the future, they may need help and Bilbo didn't want to be the reason the hobbits refused to help.

The memory of Henry almost cutting his ears off still haunted him, he had almost succeeded, and he would have if Gandalf hadn't been visiting the Shire that day. Gandalf had found out what was happening and had saved Bilbo. Gandalf had so been furious with Henry; Bilbo had never seen him that angry before.

"It would be more than worth it the risk but as you wish me not to, I shall try to restrain myself”.

Bilbo sighed in relief he loved Thorin being protective of him but at times it would get him in trouble. When Edward a prince of a human city had come to visit and had taken a liking to Bilbo it had ignited a spark of jealousy in Thorin and when the prince had tried to force himself on Bilbo, Thorin had almost killed him. The prince had tried to come back and take Bilbo almost causing a war between the humans and dwarves but thankfully Balin had managed to negotiate with the prince, and he reluctantly left with the promise of being allowed to visit and see Bilbo. Bilbo shuddered at the thought of Edward, he was never allowed alone with Bilbo thankfully.

While hobbits generally weren’t eager to start any wars, Bilbo was worried they would be willing to start a war if Thorin angered them enough. So, it was a relief that Thorin had agreed not to get revenge though a part of Bilbo wanted Thorin to confront his tormentors. It still hurt that Henry had betrayed him especially as Bilbo had loved him and thought Henry had wanted to marry him. Bilbo immediately ended their relationship after Henry had tried to cut his ears off and Bilbo had left with Gandalf to stay in Rivendell for a while to avoid Henry who had been trying to make Bilbo get back together with him. Thorin gently took Bilbo’s hands bringing him back to the present.

“I understand if you can’t, but I hope you can forgive me for my cruel words, I wish I could turn back time and stop myself from saying them”.

Bilbo looked into Thorin’s eyes, and he could tell Thorin was genuinely sorry for what he said. While the pain hadn’t faded away yet, it had meant a lot to him that Thorin had apologized and said his ears were beautiful. He didn’t want to be upset with Thorin he hated the feeling; it would take a while for him to move on from what Thorin had said but he didn’t want to hold a grudge for it.

“While your words hurt me, I believe you really are sorry so I can forgive you”, Bilbo said.

“Thank you for forgiving me, I promise I will earn your forgiveness”, Thorin said and gently pulled Bilbo into his arms.

“Do you really think my ears are beautiful?” Bilbo asked shyly as he rested his head against Thorin’s chest. Bilbo’s breath hitched when he felt Thorin touching his ear for the first time.

“They are the most beautiful ears I have ever seen”, Thorin said.

Thorin would say it as many times as it took for Bilbo to believe him, it had saddened him greatly when Bilbo said he used to hate his ears. Thorin hoped that wasn’t the case anymore he wanted to ask but wasn’t sure what he would do if Bilbo said that he still hated them. Thorin didn’t want to get angry and hurt Bilbo again.

They stayed like that for a long time until Thorin persuaded Bilbo to have something to eat. Bilbo didn’t feel up to going back to the hall, so Thorin went down to bring some food up and was relieved to see Bilbo eating.

Over the next few weeks things returned to normal between him and Bilbo, Thorin took care with his words around Bilbo as he didn’t want to upset him again. Bilbo tried to reassure Thorin that he didn’t need to, but Thorin had been careless when he had been so insensitive about pointy ears, and he didn’t want to make that mistake again.

Bofur had been mad when he found out that Thorin had hurt Bilbo’s feelings, he had always been protective of Bilbo something that Thorin had found frustrating. He could tell Bofur had feelings for Bilbo and was worried he would try to steal Bilbo from him. Thorin felt bad for thinking this way, Bilbo wasn’t a possession for someone to steal.

They had locked the gold deep in the mountain so it wouldn’t affect Thorin, but there were times when Thorin was afraid the gold sickness was still affecting him when he would catch himself viewing Bilbo as a thing he owned and not an equal partner in their relationship. Thorin hated it when this happened, he didn’t want to think of Bilbo as a prize he didn’t deserve that. Thorin’s thoughts were interrupted when Balin approached him with a concerned look.

“What’s wrong Balin?” Thorin asked.

“Thranduil is in the throne room he wants to talk to you and Bilbo”.

Thorin’s hands clenched into fists, “Who let him in? Thranduil can’t just come in unannounced!”

“I’m not sure who let Thranduil in, but you must come with me now”, Balin said anxiously.

Thorin could tell Balin did know who let him in and was protecting them, so Thorin reluctantly let it go. Thorin followed Balin hurriedly to the throne room, he saw that Bilbo was already there with Dwalin who was protectively standing in front of Bilbo. Thorin was glad he was doing so; he didn’t like the way Thranduil seemed to be transfixed with Bilbo. Thorin took Bilbo’s hand and Bilbo turned and smiled at him through Thorin could tell he was worried.

Bilbo felt safer with Thorin standing next to him holding his hand. He had only met Thranduil once before and didn’t know how to act around the elf king. The way Thranduil was staring intensely at him was making him nervous.

“What is the meaning of this? You can’t just come here without asking me first”, Thorin said angrily to Thranduil.

“Please calm yourself, I don’t wish to start any fights I just wanted to come and see my son”.

Thorin rolled his eyes, “Legolas isn’t here, what is the real reason you have come?”

“He isn’t the son I was referring to, I meant Bilbo Baggins”, Thranduil said.