Chapter Text
As Danny lazily followed the trail of floating boxes, he found himself constantly adjusting his hold on Leo. The cat kept on shifting, squirming about, trying to reach the boxes. "Will you. No. Stop," he begged, trying to keep a firm grip on what now felt like a feline turned liquid. "Just wait until we get there! I don't want you running off!" Two large green saucer eyes peered up at him expectantly, only for the squirming to continue.
"Alright, no," he said, dropping to the ground and placing Leo down. The cat gave him a petulant look, turning his back on Danny and beginning to groom himself. Danny gave a sigh only a teenager could give, leaning back and staring at the sky. He slapped his hands on his face. "Leo, you've followed me once today and it was almost a problem. I'd throw you back home if I knew you wouldn't follow,," The only reason I am bringing you with me is because Boxy is as harmless as they get. Well, as long as Pandora's been keeping track of her box. Pretty sure she's been keeping an eye on it. Anyways, ground rules! You will stay outside, got it. No chasing me in, no wandering off. Got it?"
Leo looked over his shoulder mid paw lick and blinked in response. Was that a yes? I am going to assume its a yes. Still not sure if he understands me.
"Alright, okay." Danny said, pacing back and forth for a second. "Follow me and just stay outside. Simple as that." He took off, and Leo floated up, immediately rocketing towards one of the open boxes and crashing into it. Danny raced up, only for Leo's head to pop out, his face looking supremely smug as the box carried him forward.
"Fine. You can stay in the box until we get to where Boxy is, but then you have to come out!"
The two's rate of travel slowed down significantly with Leo in the box. Whatever Boxy was up to, he didn't seem in a hurry as the floating cardboard was going incredibly slow. Danny attempted to fish Leo out at one point, only for his hand to be batted away. The tiniest of smiles crossed his face, but he looked away quickly when Leo poked his head back out. No use letting the cat know he was winning.
The lazy box river finally lead them to a shipping depot on the edge of town, with several patches on the outside walls from previous fights. Ya, that tracks. Danny didn't know why he had entertained the idea that it might be anywhere else. Boxy wasn't the most creative, and their last three fights were in this exact same location. The owners must be going nuts. He hoped that insurance agency Sam and Tucker had mentioned was pretty good with their payouts. With a heavy sigh, he grabbed the box Leo was in and pulled it out of the box river, landing on the rooftop. Leo batted at his hands, but Danny ignored it, pouring the cat out onto the roof near the HVAC.
"Protest all you want, we have an agreement." Leo wailed back at Danny, attempting to jump back in the box. Danny held it over his head, standing form. "No! Stay here. I am going to go deal with this, its not going to take long. Just going to soup Boxy... except I still didn't get back the thermos." Danny could have smacked himself, of course he didn't have the thermos. This whole 'Danny-forced-vacation' thing wasn't working out well when he actually went to the fights.
"Okay, might be a little longer than a few minutes." That was definitely a glare from Leo. "Going to have to chase him around while I wait for Sam and Tucker to arrive."
He pulled out his phone and sent them a quick message. The reply from Tucker appeared instantly, Danny's screen filling with frowny faces.
>:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(>:( >:(
We told you to take a break! >:(>:(>:(>:(>:(>:(>:(>:(>:(>:(
Tough luck, already here. Need thermos. Boxy again. :P
Ancients, Sam could be so dramatic when she texted. "See what happens when you try and tell me not to do things, I do them anyway," he said to Leo. "It's their own fault. Now one of them has to get all the way out here," he grumbled, sliding the phone back in his pocket. Leo looked entirely unsympathetic. A rising feeling of unease began to fill Danny as he looked at the cat, and he removed his backpack from his back.
He inched backwards towards the edge of the roof, watching Leo as he went. The cat sat, watching him leave.
The moment Danny entered the warehouse he heard a number of popping noises. Is that bubble wrap being popped? He paused, only to be smacked in the face with about a dozen small, palm sized boxes. He swatted them away and glared over at Boxy, who was sitting in the middle of a gigantic castle slowly being built by the river of boces. It looked as if Boxy had launched the tiny boxes from some sort of box constructed cannon. He was holding a ream of bubble wrap in his hands, grinning from ear to ear. This was certainly... elaborate for Boxy. Things might take longer than he had promised.
The box ghost stood on top of the box castle parapets, laughing manically.
"Finally, the foul invader has come to try and retake my boxy kingdom! However this time, you shall not win, as I throw the entire might of what boxes can be against you!"
"Really? How is this any different from normal?" Danny deadpanned, folding his arms across his chest.
"Because this time, I have the ultimate fire power!" the Box Ghost crowed, rapidly popping the bubble wrap in his hands. With each pop, one of the cannons at the castle launched a spray of tiny, yet frankly sharp boxes. Danny squawked and covered his face.
"Ow, ow. Hey!" he protested, throwing an ecto-bolt at the cancels. The immediately crumbled under the blast. Boxy's face dropped. "Noooo! My precious Mausers! Made of the finest C69 corrugated loose leaf tobacco boxes known to man!"
"Where the heck do you even get loose leaf tobacco boxes in Amity?! The only sell cigarettes in town!" Danny called back.
In response, Boxy pointed to what looked like a giant trebuchet made entirely of refrigerator boxes, it launched its payload at Danny, who rolled his eyes and shot the boxes down easily.
"What do you think is going to happen, Boxy? You always lose," he sighed. It would be nice if Sam and Tucker got here quickly. While the was certainly the most elaborate Boxy had been in awhile, he was distinctly aware of the furry menace one the roof.
"This time I have gathered only the most precious of materials, the high grade corrugated cardboard box! EB-Fluted, double walled, the ultimate in box durability! You will feel the wrath of the perfect box with the ultimate punishment! The worst of fates!"
Danny was still not impressed, "And what would that be?"
Raising his arms above his head, several flat packed boxes hovered in the air and began to twirl. "The cardboard papercut!" Boxy shouted, swinging down his arms.
Danny dodged back and forth, not expecting the sheer number of flattened boxes coming his way.
"Isn't a flattened box the anti-thesis of your whole thing?" he quipped, only to be clipped by one of the spinning pieces of cardboard on his cheek.
Danny hand flew up and he winced. "Ow, hey, jeez. That stings! Ow ow ow ow."
"Mwahaha, death by a thousand cuts is worse when it is death by a thousand cardboard paper cuts! You will fear me!"
Behind Boxy, several boxy gargoyles began to move. Their wings were made of the flattened boxes, and Danny eyed them warily. Seriously, Boxy could be an artist. People would pay for this if he didn't attack them with it.
Danny blasted a one of the towers and it collapsed onto several of the gargoyles, burying them completely.
"No! Not the perfect BC-fluted boxes with brown kraft paper outer lining! I was saving those for later!" Boxy wailed in horror.
"Saving for what?" Danny called back, "What the heck are you going to be doing with these later?!"
"None of your business!" said Boxy, sticking his tongue out at Danny. "Take this, you perfection ruining pest!" he shouted. "Poor quality shipping boxes, only one ply! Guaranteed that none of your delicate goods would survive intact!"
The swarm caught Danny off guard, and he found himself under a mound of flimsy paper boxes. He grumbled and phased through the writhing mess.
"You know that only works on humans," he taunted. He could probably haul the Box Ghost back by the scruff of his neck if he didn't also have to wrangle Leo. Maybe if he flew fast enough he could chuck Boxy through the portal and get back here in fifteen minutes. But would Leo wait that long? Probably not. He is already upset enough as it is. He phased through an annoyingly persistent group of parcels lost in his thoughts. Or I could freeze Boxy, take Leo home, and Sam and Tucker could soup him when he thaws.
"Then take this!" Boxy shouted, and Danny was suddenly pulled from his thoughts as he dodged a safe of all things. It plowed through the wall behind him with a deafening crack.
Danny's stared at the hole, then rounded on Boxy "What, why does this count as a box!"
Boxy leapt around triumphantly, "It's form is that of a rectangle, just because it possesses feet does not exclude it from glorious boxdom!" The safe launched itself back through its hole, aiming right at Danny. He side stepped it easily and it sailed passed him, sailed pass colliding with the base of the box castle.
"Noooooo! My kingdom!" Boxy cried as the whole structure began collapse in on itself.
Danny cackled. At least fighting Box Ghost isn't too tiring.
That was when Danny spotted it amongst the trail of boxes headed to the castle. Two ears and a tail. Sticking out of a box floating towards Boxy, not even ten feet away from the ghost.
Danny began to surge forward, only for the safe to return and knock straight back into him and rocketing him into the nearby wall. His face betrayed his shock, but so did the Box Ghosts face, as if he hadn't expected the safe to actually connect.
Right next to Box Ghost, Leo's head popped out of the box to investigate the noise. Looking directly at Danny, he let out an almighty yowl. The world seemed to screech to a halt, both mentally for Danny and physically for the flying debris. Boxy turned around slowly, staring at the box now just three feet away.
Danny phased throw the safe, but fell winded to his knees. He probably had a broken rib or two. Nothing a half hour of ecto-healing wouldn't fixed, but he would not be moving without pain for awhile.
"Leo, get out of here! I told you to stay away!" he wheezed frantically, waving an arm painfully at Leo. Leo just stared back, uncomprehending. Great, now is the time to not actually understand me, damnit!
Boxy looked back and forth between the two of them, and then floated up to the box. Danny's fear shot his already pretty high adrenaline from the pain all the way through the roof. He didn't know what to expect, this way Boxy for ancients sake. But this was Leo. He couldn't let Leo get hurt again.
He sprinted forward as Boxy floated the box into his hands, Leo staring wild eyes.
"Hey, leave Leo alone!" he shouted, but Boxy seemed to completely ignore him.
The ghost rounded on him, eyes glowing red with an eerie intensity.
"When did a box-heathen like you find the time to get a cat?" he said, stopping Danny in his tracks.
Danny thoughts were a frantic mess. Box Ghost wasn't a serious threat, but Leo was still a kitten. He didn't want him hurt. Did he instinctively phase when things got dangerous? Would he run away if I don't protect him, fail to protect him again?
"I didn't get a cat," he said rapidly, the excusing falling out of his mouth. "He's just following me around. So leave him alone, he's not involved with this. I'll throw him outside and we can get back to it!"
Box Ghost looked at Danny like he had two heads.
"No, he definitely is your cat."
Leo reached out of the floating box and bapped Boxy on the nose.
"Wait no!"
Boxy reached in to the box and lifted Leo out. The cat didn't protest, instead ragdolling with a look of annoyance.
"That box won't do. It's flimsy, only F-Flute. Not meant to contain your illustrious presence. Here," the ghost said, a second, identical box floating up. "I have one with a lovely mottled oyster inner lining. Much more suited for you." Boxy deposited Leo into the freshly presented box. Leo let out a rumbling purr, and Boxy smiled. "Success!" he cheered, fist pumping.
Danny had no idea what to make of this. His nerves were like live wires, but the sudden change in tension left him adrift. "Don't you, uh, hate him sullying your boxes with his feline presence? Or something?" he ventured hazily. Boxy face looked scandalized at the thought.
"Never! Cats belong to boxes, and boxes to cats! Wherever their exists an open box, that is the domain of the liquid known as felus catus! As it has been written in the ages, if I fits, I sits," Danny thought the Box Ghost was done, but he was only stopping to take a deep breath. Not that he needed to. "Where there is a toy in a box for a cat, the toy becomes irrelevant and the box becomes the toy! Rectangular containers are meant to house the most majestic of beings!"
"O-kay," Danny said, holding his hands up defensively, only to double over and hold them to his ribs. "Ouch, uh. Man, I didn't realize you like cats so much."
Boxy landed on the ground, the box with Leo held firmly in his hands, the remnants of the castle completely falling apart behind him. "It is a relationship based on the mutual respect and love for boxes. No one could ever understand the sacred shape as much as I, except for the wise feline," he intoned like he was reciting a sacred text, holding Leo's box aloft. Leo peeked over the edge to peer at Danny and let out a long meow.
Well this was a very unexpected turn, but not exactly an unwelcome one. With his ribs like they were now, Danny really didn't feel like continuing the fight just yet. "So... if you like him so much," Danny began, a thought forming in his head. He hesitated, really unsure. But Leo needed somewhere safe, and Amity was not it. "Would you maybe want to adopt him?" The words felt like ash in his mouth the moment they left, but he knew Leo needed someone who could focus on him more than Danny could.
Boxy started from his reverence. "What do you mean?" he asked. He looked genuinely confused. "The cat is obviously yours."
"No, no!" Danny waved, wincing again. He could feel the bones of one of his ribs clicking back into place. Boxy was not his first choice, or even his seventh. But if he really loved cats so much, he would probably take really good care of Leo. "Like I said he's just been following me around. I don't even want a cat," that comment earned him a hiss from Leo. Now you listen to me, traitor. "I have way too much going on right now."
"Ah, the cat distribution system is working as intended," Boxy nodded sagely at Leo. Leo sniffed back.
"What, no. I just said he is following me around. Nothings distributed anything. That is not a thing."
"That absolutely is a thing. Do you not know how to use the internet?" Boxy said, pity dripping from his voice.
Danny's hands flew up above his head, waving wildly. "Why do people keep asking me that?! I know how to use the internet!" He immediately regretted his actions and lowered his arms gingerly.
Boxy scoffed at Danny, holding his nose high in the air. "Well if you haven't yet learned it from the sacred interwebs, the human may think they choose the cat, but the cat always chooses the human."
"You are not the first person to mention that," Danny groaned. Maybe I should start looking at cat videos. Somehow everybody knows something I don't.
Leo stretched out of the box, scratching at the sides. Finally, he meowed at and leapt out.
"Ah, the quality of this box does not suit you. I shall fetch another! In fact, I shall fetch several! Far be it from me to choose a box for you, when you are far more versed in the ways of box sitting than I!" Box Ghost exclaimed, racing off and flinging boxes everywhere as he searched for a specific one.
Danny watched in disbelief as Boxy laid down a series of boxes in front of Leo. The cat walked between the lot. For each box, Leo would sniff it and peak inside. Danny was actually amazed at the sheer variety of boxes produced. However, Leo ignored each one, choosing to continue on inspecting. Danny's ribs were well on their way to mending as the presentation continued. It wasn't until Boxy presented Leo with an absurdly small box. He could only assume the ghost was making a joke, until Leo immediately stepped into the box and began to try and make himself fit. It wasn't working well.
"Why did he pick the smallest one!"
"Do not question the wisdom of cats! Only they understand the mystery of box-cat space relationships!" Boxy's statement was reinforced by Leo successfully getting all four paws in the box and sitting down. Danny snorted. Leo's fur was all pressed up and he looked like a fluffy potted plant in a too small container.
Danny sat down, figuring Boxy was far too distracted to really be a bother. After a few more minutes, Leo seemed to grow bored with the boxes. He jumped out and pranced back over to Danny, crawling up on his lap and settling down. Danny instinctively reached up and began stoking the cat. He expected the Box Ghost to get upset, but he just seemed please, examining the box Leo had just left and muttering to himself about its qualities.
"So you really won't take him?" He said one last time. The two seem to like each other well enough. Maybe Leo would help Boxy chill out some.
Boxy gave Leo a wistful look. "Alas, I could not take him if I wanted. You have already bonded him to your soul. No one is going to take your cat."
Danny jerked up straight, thank the ancients his ribs were mostly back together now, mouth open. "When I did what?!"
"Bonded him. You shared your essence with him, right?" Leo stood up on his back legs and head butted Danny. He moved his hands up to scratch him under the chin.
"Only to get him inside my house!" he protested. "It's a temporary measure. I needed the security system to think he was me!"
"There are other ways to mask a being as yourself," Boxy admonished. As if that was something all ghosts just 'knew-how-to-do'. Wait, is it? "Besides, if you didn't want to keep him, you shouldn't have used your essence on his core."
"Frostbite showed me how to do it, its only a temporary thing. I'll remove my essence once I find a place for him." Even as he finished his sentence, Box Ghost was shaking his head.
"You didn't know? Sure, sharing your essence can be a temporary thing. If you remove it after a few hours. How long has it been?"
"Uh... more than that," Danny said weakly. I think I may have missed one or two things Frostbite said during that lesson...
"Well looks like you have a cat," Boxy shrugged. "Appropriate. They are the most royal of beings, so he attached himself to the ghost king. "
"There is so much wrong with that entire statement I don't know where to start. Not the ghost king, not my cat! Also, no one told me that the whole soul net thing was anything lasting. How do I undo it?"
"You don't. Didn't your royal... tutors or whatever teaching you these things?" Boxy asked incredulously.
"Frostbite isn't a royal tutor! He's just been showing me some things," Danny insisted. They weren't royal lessons! Frostbite told me was just showing me the ropes, how things are done! Things I needed to know!
Floating several boxes over, the ghost began pointing moving them into some sort of floating diagram. "Sharing essence is used for soul bonds, like the bond between glue and paper that takes something from a simple piece of cardboard to its more glorious form! Used only for the most sacred of rights." Well he just looks ridiculous doing that.
"Alliances and marriages are the most common," he added in offhandedly.
Danny was dumbfounded. At no time had that particularly fact come to light. He was positive he would have heard that. Unless... Clockwork and Frostbite were doing some shady king-making lessons and pretending they were normal ones. Those meddling liars! Frostbite had never actually said WHY he needed to know these things. That little liar!
"You are the king, you will be expected to perform marriage rights and makes alliances. You just made your first one. A good choice."
Danny groaned, burring his face in Leo's fur.
"Well, as your majestic felines want for boxes has been sated, so too is has my desire for boxy domination," Danny lifted his head out of Leo's fur and gave Box Ghost a quizzical look.
"Okay?"
"If you don't mind," Boxy said, motioning towards the wall. "I will proceed home on my own. Pandora said I have to be back to clean the house by the evening. Chores to do. Jewelry boxes to clean."
Danny looked on, dumbfounded "... you'll just... do that?"
"My lust for the perfect container has been sated with the sight of such an elegant being filling its space so thoroughly!" he said enthusiastically, making a triumphant fist and brandishing the comically small box in the other hand.
"Ew, dude, do you know how that sounds?" Leo chirped in agreement, or so Danny assumed.
Box Ghost continued on, undeterred. "With my being satisfied, I would rather rather travel home outside of the horrible cylindrical prison." He said, pointing an excusing finger at Danny. In an instant, his demeanor swapped from maniacal ghost to petulant.
"It's really cramped in there, and its form is just the worse." He whined, arms crossed and nose turned up.
"Sure. I'll let you go home without the thermos I totally have on my person," Danny said, before the words coming out of his mouth caught up to his brain.
"Uh, can you get back on your own? Is the portal even on right now?" he questioned. Wulf said he would cut back on the portal making, and Vlad wouldn't be letting Box Ghost through, of all people.
"Duh," Boxy said, waving his hands in exasperation, "Weekly maintenance cycle. It'll turn off by six tonight."
Danny's jaw might need to be scraped off the floor. "Weekly maintenance cycle. Like... every week?"
"Obviously, that's what weekly means, do they teach you nothing in your school? You also have the testing cycle which is every fifth day for three ten minute intervals and the random testing schedule, though I wouldn't ever try and use it when its like that. We all know what happened to Kitty."
"How many other ghosts know this?" Danny hands were in his hair and his voice was shrill. Is this what led to his non-stop schedule of ghost fighting recently?
"It's common knowledge," Boxy offered with a shrug.
Danny clutched at his head, brain whirling. My sanity is on edge because of routine maintenance tests?! "Oh. Please. Just go. I need to have a minor breakdown here in peace."
"Alright! Be back next week! I shall return for my boxy kingdom! Be sure to bring the cat! Or you shall paaaaaaaay!" he wailed as phased through the wall of the building.
Danny waved weakly, staring vacantly ahead. This was quite possibly the weirdest encounter with the Box Ghost he's ever had, and that was saying quite a a lot. He also needed to talk with Jazz and sic her on their parents. Weekly maintenance cycle?! Automated Testing Events?!?! What were they thinking!
That problem, though, could wait. First, Danny needed to acknowledge the problem in his lap.
"You are never going to the Ghost Zone, are you?"
Leo purred smugly, settling in.