Chapter Text
The shareholders’ meeting is over, the hostile takeover bid is done. Kendall is still running his mouth about the company’s criminal behaviour, but the FBI is clearly losing interest, or maybe they’re just taking Christmas off.
Roman is supposed to be going to his mother’s home for Christmas, as part of their deal so she would help them keep the company. But then Shiv announced that she wasn’t going, she has too much work to do, and Kendall obviously isn’t going, he’s too busy trying to send their father to jail. Much as he likes his mother, Roman can’t stand the thought of being the lone sibling spending Christmas in freezing England with his mother’s terrible cooking and her latest boyfriend. So he decides to spend it with Tabitha instead.
It’s been a hell of a year, he thinks, surveying the Christmas tree in his apartment. First there was the whole unpleasant business with the rocket explosion at Shiv’s wedding, then the cruises scandal, digging up memories that he thought were long buried, then Kendall fucking them all live on TV. Plus he has a shiny new tooth where his father had knocked the old one out, and he hadn’t particularly enjoyed being held at gunpoint either.
It hadn’t been all bad though. He smiles as he scrolls through his messages from Gerri. He’s happy to be her protégé, her visionary Chief Operating Officer as she had called him after the shareholders’ meeting. Apparently her praise has the same effect on his dick as her scolding him.
Thinking of Gerri puts him in the holiday spirit. He even messages Kendall saying Happy 40th birthday, shitty Jesus, although Ken won’t officially celebrate it for another few months. Thanks man, Kendall replies. You coming to party?? Roman doesn’t reply. He still has Kendall’s birthday party invite sitting in his emails.
Maybe he’ll send Gerri a dick pic. It is Christmas, after all. He finds one of the more flattering shots in his camera roll and is just attaching it to a Merry Christmas! message when Tabitha comes up behind him.
“Who are you sexting?” she says, grabbing the phone out of his hand.
“Hey, that’s—” It’s too late, Tabitha is staring at the screen in shock.
“Gerri Kellman?” She looks up at Roman. “Gerri? Seriously?”
“It’s nothing. Give it here.” He manages to grab the phone.
“Are you like, seeing her?” Tabitha looks equal parts delighted and horrified. “Was that thing you said about jerking off in her bathroom not a joke?”
“It’s no big deal.” He puts his phone away in his pocket, deciding against sending the pic.
“Oh no? You can’t fuck me but you’re sending your dick to your mommy figure?”
“Easy, Tabs. You’re meant to be a feminist, remember?”
“Oh, I’m not knocking Gerri. She’s too good for you, you actual piece of slime.” She starts gathering up her coat and purse.
“Where are you going? It’s Christmas Day. I gave my driver the day off.”
“I’ll walk. I need to not be near you right now.”
“Wait.” He blocks her path. “Are you going to say anything to anyone about, you know…” He’s remembering how she told a room full of people including his father that they never had sex.
“That’s all you care about?” She shakes her head. “You need help.” She pushes past him to get to the door.
“Fine, go.” He’s feeling defensive now. “Maybe I can’t fuck you because you’re not all that hot, you know?”
Tabitha turns at the door. He can see her weighing up the best way to hurt him in return. “I fucked Kendall, by the way.”
Roman has a good poker face when required. It’s not Tabitha’s betrayal that hurts as much as his brother’s, although nothing Kendall does should surprise him now. “Cool,” he says. “Me too.”
“God, you’re such a fucking freak.” She slams the door behind her.
Roman ends up spending the rest of the day alone, sipping a martini in front of the Christmas tree and wishing he hadn’t given all his staff the day off. He wishes he had gone to his mother’s after all.