Chapter Text
It started small. A simple scheme that goes too far. David lectures him, gives him a lame punishment, then feels guilty and gives him a hug the next day. He didn’t care. Why should he? Nothing all that bad happened, he wanted out of those camp activities anyway and he needed some time away from Neil and Nikki. If anything, David did him a solid.
Eventually, after enough times, Nikki and Neil gave up on joining in on his schemes. They were going too far. Even for them. It was fine. Max could pull it off on his own. He didn’t need them, he didn’t need anybody. David won’t do anything about it. It’s not like he can. David was just some powerless little man child that couldn’t do anything he thinks he can. Max didn’t need friends. He didn’t need anything. He was everything. That’s what he said in every bleak moment. It worked. Or at least it would soon. Or eventually.. right?
Nerf was an idiot. He failed at his only identifiable attribute. Being a bully. It was embarrassing. Max didn’t care when he became his next target. Why would he? He’s been hurt by the same actions and words a million times before. By his parents. By the people he called his friends before he went to this hellhole of a camp. And you can’t insult someone with the truth anyhow. And all of those words said to him were true. He was the monster he was depicted as. He took pride in it. Even if that meant he would be chased around by a knife and overwhelmed with psychological torment.
Max was quick to believe it was impossible for David to hate anyone. Or anything. To lose faith. To give up on anything. And Max had never been disproven on his thoughts before. The cynic was smart. He could twist his words in any manner he so desired. He tried to use those exact facts to make sense of the beating of his heart dropping to a halted stop when he overheard David’s conversation with Gwen after he had gotten in trouble for yet another scheme.
“You know what Gwen. I used to think Max was just a misunderstood, traumatized child. But now I think I understand it. He’s a lost cause. And I’ll take him in when the camp ends. It’s just, gonna suck. You know?”
If anyone asked any questions after he heard that. He got dirt in his eyes.
He had to be a burden to make David of all people lose any and all faith in himself. Jesus Christ he was disgusting. He couldn’t handle this. He couldn’t handle anything. He ran back to the tent he was supposed to be confined to as punishment for once another scheme gone too far. No, he knew he was a burden before all of this. Just, he didn’t quite realize the extent of that till today. Digging through his things, specifically looking for Mr. Honeynuts.. his eyes picked up on the sight of his pocket knife. The weapon he brought for self defense and emergencies.
At least when he did wrong by his parents he more than compensated with the pain of his beatings. What justice and righteousness was delivered to the pain he pulled over other people? What the fuck was wrong with him.?
His gaze narrowed on the knife as he gripped the hilt tightly. With the blade then in clutch, he clicked it out of the compartment and rolled up the hoodie sleeve of his left arm. He grimaced, what a sick embarrassment he was. At this point he was doing Nerf’s work for free. God, he should charge a fee for this job. Whatever. Fuck this. He just needs to get the job over with this. He’ll feel better after he finishes atoning for the shit he’s pulled.
He seethed a sharp gasp of pain at the first incision over his wrist. After the first few, it got easier, and more self-indulgent. The need to punish himself had overturned all other sense.
That night when Max went to sleep, he had an armed wrapped in gauze and a half-empty first aid kit. He couldn’t sleep properly when anything put the slightest touch over the wounds. He switched side to side, tossing and turning through the discomfort. Neil started with a groan, a migraine banged through his head. “Max, god just leave already or go to bed. I need to sleep.” He scowled. Max rolled his eyes back. He acted worse when irritated. He huffed and pulled his blanket over himself. He shut his eyes and used all of his willpower to lull himself to sleep.
When he woke up in the morning, Max’s face blanked at the bed sheets below him. The red had seeped darkly into the mattress. The stupid fucking wounds opened in his sleep. He tucked the blanket in order to hide the stains. He can fix that soon enough. The darkness highlighted his sleeves. He looked side to side before swapping his sweatshirt. He was lucky that Neil had gone on one of his early morning walks.
Max threw the evidence of yesterday under the mattress before making his way out of the tent. Not even five minutes into breakfast in the Mess Hall, he was face to face with David. “Hello Max, how did you sleep?”
“Uhm fine, can we uh talk?”