Archive of Our Own ^beta

James Barnes was seen by most as “protective” and “chivalrous” and he’s sure that that’s exactly how he came off to others.

To Steve well…

<1>
Clutching his thighs, Bucky couldn’t stop himself from curling over as he shook with laughter. Tears had begun to gather in his eyes and he knew that, afterwards, he would find himself panting like a wretched dog in summer. Even if he would complain and whine, it was all completely worth it.

Stumbling forwards slightly, the brunet found himself leaning against a wall, beside a familiar blonde, who could only raise a single eyebrow at him. The other’s bright blue eyes were glaring daggers at him yet all Bucky could do was wheeze harder, no longer able to laugh.

“I really do wonder why we’re best friends sometimes.” Steve muttered under his breath.
“Because you loooooove me!” the other purred, smiling at the other’s snort.

The blonde’s vomit still glistened on the floor as Steve attempted to stand up straighter to seem more confident to no avail. Slowly regaining his breath back, Bucky smirked at the other’s lip-gnawing, licking his lips once the other noticed. The other’s eyes widened for a second before they narrowed into suspicious slits.

“I’m never listening to you again.”
“Sure, Steve. I believe you, Steve.”
“Don’t stay my name like that.”
“Sorry, Steven.”

Harrumphing, Steve spun around, ignored how his breath stuttered and did his best at marching away, arms crossed. Bucky let out a final laugh before running to catch up with him and put his arm around his shoulders. Ignoring his best friend’s grumble, he pulled him closer and began to recount how Steve looked on the rollercoaster after the puking was over, pulling the other’s left hand to his chest.

<2>

Wind ran through Bucky’s hair as he held his arms out, in the hope that it would help him keep his balance. The carriage wall had long since been blown out, now lost to the unforgiving snow below. Beside him, Steve, or should he say Captain America, stood perfectly still, hand hovering over his gun. With his eyes trained on the closest door, the blonde took a step forward, muttering under his breath.

Feeling himself begin to tilt, Bucky swore under his breath and started to stumble over his own feet as he attempted to attach himself to the carriage like his companion did. He did not account for the strong gust of wind that hit that instant, pulling him towards the white, blurry hell far below.

“Steve!”

The blonde’s head snapped up, blue eyes scouring desperately before finding Bucky hanging on desperately to the edge of the door. Those beautiful blue eyes widened with panic as the other was once again pulled even further back, to the point where he was clinging on to a broken bar.

“Bucky!” Steve yelled, voice full of distress. “Just hang on!”

Swinging his body around, his left hand desperately grabbed for Bucky’s, both of their bodies shaking with panic. The blonde stretched himself farther forward, ignoring how his own body swayed dangerously. And for a split second, their hands brushed.

Then, the train brushed a corner violently, swinging both their bodies around like dolls. Bucky felt his hands begin to slip and he couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped his lips, heart pounding in his ears. Seemingly about to cry, Steve once again pushed his body forwards, hand about to finally clutch Bucky’s wrist.

But it was too late.

Seargant James Bucharan Barnes’s body cut through the snow, lungs struggling to find the ability to breathe. The last thing he saw was his best friend’s large, blue eyes and his outstretched hand, so so close to catching him.

<3>

Bullets ripped through the air around the Asset ,but they caused no falter to his marching, becoming more panicked the closer he came. Clearly, his mission today was not used to close-hand shooting.

The sunlight shines vaguely on his goggles as he aimed and shot once more, with a growl. His handler had not provided him with much information, simply staring at his sadly before turning away with his partner. Distracted in his memories, he felt a bullet graze his flesh arm, prompting him to growl. Using the rifle was pointless now and so, he threw it aside, replacing it with an already blood-stained knife.

Inhaling once, he threw his whole weight forward to bring down the Mission, not expecting its muscles to match his. Jolting back to avoid a punch, he stabbed forward blindly, smelling the familiar scent of blood. Momentarily distracted, he could not stop the punch from knocking his mask off, instantly dropping back into a defensive position.

And while he had gone on the defence, the mission had relaxed, its blue eyes wide with an emotion the asset could not place.

“Bucky?”

Eyes narrowing, the asset ignored its Brooklyn drawl, jaw clenching. Bucky was not a name he knew. Clearly, the mission was trying to stall. Useless, utterly useless.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”
The mission flinched violently, causing an alert to ring in the asset’s mind. In a flash instant, he was once again on top of the blonde, teeth bared in a growl. He would not let the other go. Not until the mission was complete.

<4>

Barnes did not kill Wakanda’s king.

He was quite sure of that because he could clutch the freshly-brought plums in his flesh hand; his memory could not be trusted.

Honestly, when Captain America had erupted in his apartment, he momentarily considered surrendering and letting him get arrested. Once the agents arrived, however, adrenaline ran through his blood, prompting him to run, like he was so used to doing. The Captain was used to it too, easily dodging bullets.

Muscles tense, he ran down the building’s stairs and threw himself out of the nearest window, ignoring the Captain’s yelling. Unhesitatingly, he ran. He ran past the helicopter, he ran past SHIELD, he ran down the road. He only stopped to grab a motorbike, a tad too violently perhaps, and jumped on it, metallic arm whirring in protest at the quick movement. The Asset had never piled it, therefore Barnes had never oiled it.

Feeling a shift in the air before him, Barnes pulled to the side violently, barely avoiding the clawed hand reaching for him. Bile rushed up his throat as a memory of another outstretched hand flashed in his brain, but he quickly pushed it down. There was no time. Jaw clenching, he attempted to push the motorbike past its limit, jacket blowing in the wind furiously.

Wind tugged through his hair, causing his to shake his head absentmindedly. Eyes narrowing into slits, he tilted to the left, aiming directly for the gap in the road fence. The motorbike skidded on the road as it was pulled around much too violently, James’s coat once again flapping in the wind. He was pretty sure he would have fallen off if it weren’t for his training. Thanks Hydra.

Brown hair flopped into his eyes, the instant his motorbike was grabbed by claws, his breath catching in his throat as he fell face first into the concrete. Hands pushed against his chest, he held his pants and heaves back, hearing sirens approach all around them.

“Bucky?”

The brunette’s hands trembled at that word, unwilling to let the memory of the asset overtake his brain. Handcuffs were skipped around his hands and he let himself get pulled to his feet, remaining trained on the pavement. He was tugged past the Captain, ignoring how his breath paused and legs twitched slightly.

Barnes ignored how the Captain extended out one hand in his direction.

<+1>

Peggy Carter was one of James’s favourite people.

Not only did she have Steve’s stubbornness and determination, but after watching her sock a nazi in the throat, he had instantly liked her. And so, really, he sincerely understood when Steve decided to go back to her. They definitely both deserved to have good things, unlike James.

A soft smile pulling on his lips, he watched his good friend go into the machine. After the five seconds, Bruce started muttering while Sam yelled at him, distress leaking into their words. Flashing his teeth, James turned around to a familiar body sat on the bench behind them. Sun shone on grey hair and blue eyes looked at him, a grin gracing his lips.

Mirroring the grin, James heard Sam’s yelling cease as he turned around, Bruce still muttering absentmindedly in the background. James watched as the Captain handed a bewildered Falcon his shield, hands shaking ever so slightly. He did not let himself think about how his heart aches as Steve looked away, muscles completely relaxed.

And as his eyes fell on a golden ring on his left hand, his smile wavered against his best intentions. James looked away, exhaling heavily. Fist clenching, he let his thoughts wonder to the future until a loud rustle caught his attention. Head snapping back, he watched his old best friend walk away, stomach dropping. A tiny whimper escaped his mouth and he couldn’t stop his hand from reaching out towards his Captain.