Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Yo.”

Toya perks up at the sound of Akito’s voice, immediately shoving his phone into his pocket and sending him a smile. “Akito. I wasn’t sure you were going to make it.”

Akito’s lip twitches, and he rubs the nape of his neck with a sigh. “Yeah, my bad. Jus’ got a little caught up with something at home. You weren’t waiting too long, were you?”

Toya hastily shakes his head. “Not at all. I only just got here a few minutes ago.”

Akito sighs with relief. “I’m glad. Now come on – wouldn’t want to keep the girls waiting any longer.”

And with that, the two of them set off, walking down the quiet street side by side. Although it’s only nine in the morning, the summer air is thick and stifling. Akito doesn’t blame people for wanting to stay indoors, where they’ve got air conditioning to defend them from the sun’s relentless thrashing. Not that Akito minds too much. There’s something so serene about strolling down the pavement without having to swerve out of the way of crowds, and peering into empty shops and cafés that are usually filled to the brim with people. It’s like a ghost town.

Akito’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out as they walk. It’s a text from An asking where they are, and letting them know that she and Kohane are already at the park. Personally, Akito hated the idea of practising outdoors on such a scorching day. What’s worse, when he sweats, he sweats a lot. He’d rather not return home drenched.

But Toya agreed with An’s suggestion with an enthusiasm Akito rarely sees from him, suggesting that it would be a good opportunity to take advantage of the great weather. Akito couldn’t find it in him to argue – not when Toya looked so excited. 

“Toya, let’s pick up the pace,” Akito says. “They’re already there.”

But when he lifts his head to meet Toya’s eyes, he finds that the pavement beside him is empty. He stares blankly at a random trash can positioned where Toya should’ve been standing before turning to search for him. Once he registers what he’s seeing a few paces away, he sighs with exasperation. Of course.

Toya’s knelt down on the pavement, a serene smile on his face as he lets a black cat nuzzle against his palm. It flicks its ears and stares up at Toya with wide yellow eyes, and leaving its mouth is a rumbling purr that echoes through the still summer air. Akito thinks to call for Toya, but ultimately doesn’t. He can’t help the way his gaze softens as he watches his partner indulge in a moment of peace. He’s always had a soft spot for cats, and Akito isn’t about to ruin the moment for him.

As he watches on, a rumbling begins to fill the air. Not the delicate rumbling of the cat’s purrs, no. This is different. Rougher. Louder. Louder and louder. And… is the ground rumbling too?

Akito turns just in time to catch a truck speeding down the road in the distance. It might just be because of his distance, but… isn’t it moving a little too fast for such a narrow road?

As much as he wants to continue watching Toya, the sight of the truck is… more than a little alarming. And as it approaches them, speeding closer and closer, Akito’s heart sinks as he makes a terrifying realisation.

The driver is slumped over the steering wheel, and the truck is swaying unpredictably as if it could veer this way or the other in the blink of an eye.

Akito whirls around. “Toya! Get up, now! Now!”

Toya jerks at Akito’s yell, his wide eyes meeting Akito’s. At the sudden movement, the cat flinches and bounds down the pavement, disappearing behind a corner.

The engine gets louder, its dissonant growling building to a crescendo. Toya finally turns and takes notice of the truck and he scrambles to his feet, poised to leap aside…

…but a horrifying splat, followed by a crash and crunch of metal, fills the air instead. The truck is smoking now, having smashed into the window of a café, and the glass and the ground is stained red.

Akito, at a complete and utter loss for words, stumbles into the disorderly café. There he finds Toya, who’s lodged between the truck and the wall, hands hanging limply by his sides and eyes wide, fearful, and dull. 

He’s dead.

Akito’s partner is dead.

He drops to his knees, sickened by what he’s seeing and simultaneously unable to tear his gaze away. This can’t be happening. He must be dreaming. In a few seconds, he’ll wake up and everything will be fine.

But the tears fall anyway, and Akito makes no attempt to brush them away. He can’t stop staring at Toya’s face, whose gaze had once been filled with love and life, and is now eerily blank. And his body which had once been so lively and warm is now broken and crushed, his blood spilling down the wall and pooling on the ground like a taunt. Toya’s gone and Akito can’t do anything about it.

Gods, Akito wishes he could do something. Anything. He wishes he could turn back time and shield Toya from all the dangers of the world. Toya doesn’t deserve this. Doesn’t deserve pain, or suffering, or death. If Akito had the chance, he’d defend Toya to his last breath.

And, as soon as the thought crosses his mind, the world fades away and he’s spinning. He’s spinning and he’s falling, his stomach twisting and his eyes squeezing shut as air slashes his face. It’s as if he were travelling through time itself, the way his life flashes before his eyes.

It’s cold.

And then it’s warm. 

Stiflingly warm, like summer heat.

“...Hey. Akito, are you alright?”

Akito’s eyes snap open, and his breath catches in his throat as Toya’s concerned face fills his vision. His head is slightly cocked as he tucks his phone away. “You look pale. Are you not feeling well?”

Akito’s gaze wanders. Toya’s eyes aren’t hollow or empty. They’ve got that usual shine to them, that warmth and that life and curiosity. And his cheeks aren’t startlingly pale. They’re pink and glistening from the heat. 

His blood is where it should be.

Akito breathes in, then out. And he huffs out a laugh, brushing a hand through his hair. The weight on his chest lifts.

It was a dream. Or some sort of hallucination. He was all worried for nothing, as always.

“I’m fine, Toya. Don’t worry about me,” Akito says through a smile, patting Toya’s back. “Come on. Let’s get going – An and Kohane are waiting.”

And they’re off once again, making their way through familiar streets. Almost too familiar. To Akito, it seems as if they’d been walking through here just moments ago. They pass that same convenience store, that same lamppost. That same cyclist with a dog keychain on their backpack whizzes past them. As they pass that same café, Akito’s phone buzzes, and before he can even reach down to check it, a meow stops him dead in his tracks.

Toya makes a clicking sound with his tongue, crouching and reaching down to pet a black cat. A serene smile settles on his face. The cat’s wide eyes flicker up to glance at Akito for the briefest of moments, almost knowingly. Almost tauntingly. And before Akito can react, it glances towards Toya again, a gentle purr rumbling in its throat.

Impending horror grows within Akito. Did this… not just happen? In his dream? Is Akito going crazy? He’s sure he isn’t. Admittedly, he may have a few screws loose, but he doubts he’d hallucinate to such an extent, much less something so horrific.

He’s pulled from his thoughts by a rumble. Not purring – something more. Something deadly. He surprises himself with how quickly he makes the connection.

He turns and sure enough, there’s a truck speeding down the road. Akito isn’t about to wait around to see whether the driver is upright.

Without wasting a second, Akito reaches down and snatches Toya’s wrist. Toya startles, staring up at Akito inquisitively, and Akito barely has the time to register the warmth of Toya’s skin, the life flowing through him, before he yanks Toya to his feet and drags him down the pavement, almost stumbling into a random trash can in the process.

Air slashes them. A hunk of metal blurs past. A deafening crash resounds.

Toya’s eyes are wide and fearful, but this time they’re alive. And to Akito that’s all that fucking matters. His shoulders slump, and his eyes flutter closed as relief washes over him. Thank fuck. 

“Akito, how did you…” Toya cuts himself off with a shuddering exhale, and he slumps against him. Warm. Alive. “Thank you… You saved my life.”

Akito reaches around Toya, rubbing his back slowly. He stares at the boy in his arms with a heavy heart. He can’t just admit that he’d seen all of this happen in a dream. That would freak Toya out for sure – he might not even believe him. That’s what frightens Akito the most, that he’d come to the realisation that Toya doesn’t fully trust him. Hell, Akito doesn’t even trust himself. But he likes to think Toya trusts him unconditionally, and he won’t let some silly vision shake his belief.

“Next time, don’t get so distracted,” Akito murmurs, gently pulling away from Toya and grabbing his wrist again. “You still up for practice? You look a little shaken up.”

He does. He’s pale, and there’s sweat pooling over his brow. He nods nonetheless. “I’ll be fine, thank you. I’m okay thanks to you.”

A small crowd gathers around the smoking truck, calling for the police and an ambulance. Akito hurries away from the commotion, eager to get that dreaded truck out of his sight. It’ll surely linger in his nightmares. 

As they walk through the streets, the black cat peeks out from an alleyway, glancing up at Akito with those same wide yellow eyes. Again, before Akito can react, it’s gone as quick as it appeared, and a shiver runs up his spine.

The sight of the girls working away in the park dissipates some of Akito’s worries. Even as the sweltering heat hangs heavy, their movements are filled with energy, their voices filled with power. Through their passion, they are one with the music. But their focus breaks as Akito and Toya approach. As Kohane rushes to pause the song, An sighs, leaning back against a railing and crossing her arms. “Took you guys long enough. Kohane and I have already run through two songs.” She tips her head with a disapproving smirk. “Any more delay, and we'll have you two falling behind.”

“It's my fault, Shiraishi,” Toya says with a frown. He fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “I got distracted, and… and there was–”

“–nothing. There was nothing,” Akito cuts in, patting Toya's shoulder with a strained smile. He'd rather not relive what had happened… or, almost happened. “What matters is that we're here. Let's just get going, alright?”

An's gaze flickers between the two and she raises a brow, but otherwise says nothing. Unfolding her arms, she calls to Kohane, who's scrolling through her phone for songs. “Kohane, let's do Flyer."

They shuffle into position, an air of concentration settling among them. With the streets being practically empty, they've got minimal distractions, and they can focus all their attention on getting this right. Akito's just glad he can take his mind off of the horrifying scenario his mind had conjured up earlier. Maybe after this song, he'll have forgotten about it completely. That'd be nice.

The music starts, and each of them sets into motion, raising their arms to the beat and following the rhythm they've grown accustomed to for months. What should be a relatively easy dance, at least for Akito, becomes ten times more difficult in this suffocating heat. It's like with every movement he has to fight against increased gravity; it's exhausting. But from what Akito can see in his peripheral, the others aren't doing too terribly, so he pushes on.

And for a moment, he's completely zoned into the performance. The song blaring from the phone speaker transports him, and it's as if he were performing in front of a real crowd – a huge one – cheering them on. This is it. This is where he wants to be, what he's worked towards. All his worries slip away.

That's when a startled gasp cuts through the focused haze, and a jarring clang follows right after. The stage lights, all those smiling faces… they fade, and suddenly he's back at the park, squinting through the blinding sunlight.

Time moves in slow motion as Akito turns in search of the source of the sudden noise. That's when he sees him.

Toya's lying on the ground by the metal railing. He isn't making any attempt to get back up.

“Oh no! Aoyagi-kun, are you alright?” Kohane asks, pausing the song and hurrying to his side. An follows her, crouching and laying a hand on his arm.

“I saw what happened. He… I think he stepped on a rock and lost his balance, or something.” She shakes him gently, her gaze raking over his body. “Hey, Toya, are you… oh. Oh my god. What the fuck…”

Akito's heart sinks. An rarely sounds so horrified. He rushes towards them, blood roaring in his ears. “Huh? What is it–”

His breath catches in his throat.

Blood is pooling around Toya's head. There's a dent in the railing.

Akito can't believe his eyes. It… happened again. Toya's eyes are wide yet unseeing, full of emotion yet so dull, so… lifeless.

Adrenaline coursing through him, he reaches down and attempts to staunch the bleeding, but there's so much blood. Spilling onto the ground, staining his palm and dying Toya's own hair red. Kohane's voice is pitchy and tremulous as she relays the details to emergency services, but Akito doesn't care to decipher what she's saying. He can't breathe, can't think. His hands are trembling, so useless and weak, and An is shaking Toya and the world is blurring and fading and he's being sucked into a vacuum

“Akito?”

He jolts, sucking in a sharp breath and meeting Toya's eyes. Akito glances around. They're back at the street corner. 

This same, dreaded street corner. This same stifling air. His hands tremble at his sides, and it's all he can do to clench them into fists. 

Not again. Please, not again.

“Akito,” Toya says, more insistently this time. There's so much worry in his eyes. Akito could count each individual eyelash in Toya's eyes with how close he is now. He's pretty. “Akito, please answer me. Are you alright? You look pale.”

Akito blinks, swallowing thickly. He realises now. Whatever he'd been experiencing wasn't a hallucination, or a dream. It was real – everything, real. Again and again, Toya's going to die, and that'll send Akito back to this very moment. This loop won't end until Akito saves him.

What he doesn't understand is… why Toya? Why is he constantly at the risk of death? Who's behind this, and what are they after?

Akito doesn't know. He's clueless to a lot of things, and admittedly he isn't the brightest mind. But one thing's for sure: he's gonna save his partner, one way or another.

Toya's still staring at him in blatant worry. Akito pats his shoulder with a tight smile. “Sorry. The heat must be getting to me.” With his free hand, he wipes the sheen of sweat from his forehead. “Listen, I don't think I can practise outside in this weather. Why don't we… head to Weekend Garage instead?”

There's no doubt that it'll be safer there. It's a controlled environment, and there'll be other people. There's a low chance that something unpredictable would happen, and even if it did, there'd be people to take immediate action and maybe even save Toya's life.

Toya parts his lips, presumably to express his uncertainty, but he settles on nodding. “That might be a good idea. I wouldn't want you to get heatstroke.”

“Exactly, now come on.” Akito's hand slides down to grab Toya's and he marches down the street without a look back. He makes a point not to get anywhere near that speeding truck and that park. He'll avoid any potential sources of danger if he can help it.

As he storms towards the café, a quiet meow startles him from his daze. Sure enough, a black cat has emerged from an alleyway beside them, its yellow eyes catching the sunlight as it peeks out of the shadows. Akito glares at it venomously. Toya, however, slows his pace just enough for Akito to notice, his eyes glued to the cat with an undeniable urge to pet it. With a click of his tongue, he tugs Toya along like a mother dragging her child away from a toy in a supermarket.

The route to Weekend Garage is a familiar one, so it doesn't take them long at all to get there. As Akito swings the door open and pulls Toya inside, Ken looks up from placing glasses onto a customer's table. He throws them a wave and a wide smile. “Oh, if it isn't the Bad Dogs!”

He saunters over to them, eyeing them curiously. “An told me you were going to meet in the park. Did something happen?”

“Just a quick change of plans,” Akito says, dismissing the concern with a wave of his hand. “We decided it was too hot to practise in this weather, so we're meeting up here instead.”

Ken hums with understanding. “Good call; I've got quite a few customers seeking refuge from the heat here.”

As expected, many of the tables are occupied. Despite the large volume of customers, the atmosphere is hushed. It must be the morning mood.

“Are you sure it's alright to practise here, Ken?” Toya asks from behind Akito. “I wouldn't want to disturb the peace.”

A hearty laugh rumbles from Ken's chest, and he rests a hand on his hip. “You don't have to worry about a thing. It'd be nice to liven things up in here.”

“Great. Thank you,” Akito says. “Oh, by the way – could you let An know about the change of plans? I didn't get the chance to.”

“Sure. Not a problem.” He averts his gaze as a customer waves him over, and after shooting them a smile he turns to the two of them again. “Sit wherever you'd like; I'm not expecting a crowd ‘till noon. Call me over if you want refreshments.”

Akito nods. “Will do.” 

Ken's already off, chatting away with the customer, and Akito takes the opportunity to pull Toya to a nearby table.

As they slide into their seats, Akito surveys the café. The other patrons look unsuspecting enough, with most of them being adults or middle-aged and chatting quietly amongst themselves. None of them seem like they'd hurt Toya in any way.

“...Akito.”

The moment he sees anyone try anything funny, Akito swears he'll beat them to a pulp.

“Hey, Akito.”

He won't let anyone touch him. He won't let Toya die in such a gruesome way again. He wouldn't be able to live with himself, not when he still has a chance to prevent it.

“Akito!”

He jolts in his seat, meeting Toya's gaze. “Akito, I… I don't mean to offend you, but you've been acting… somewhat off today.”

“Eh?” Akito asks. “What do you mean?”

Toya shrinks into himself. “It's just… the way you were dragging me around earlier, and, well, spacing out. You aren't usually like that, so I wanted to ask: is there something on your mind? Maybe anything I can do to help?”

Akito can't help the way his gaze wavers. Toya's staring so intently, so anxiously. He probably thinks he's at fault in some way. But even if Akito reassured him, surely he'd want to know the reason for his erratic behaviour.

That’s the thing. He can’t just tell Toya about what he’s going through… right? Akito can face this on his own – he has to. He’d rather not burden Toya with something he wouldn’t even understand. It’d cause unnecessary strain, and Akito doesn’t have the mental capacity to deal with that right now. 

Slowly, stiffly, Akito shakes his head. “It’s… It’s nothing you need to worry about, Toya. Seriously. I can manage.”

Toya exhales, leaning back in his seat. “Anything that’s bothering you concerns me, Akito. We’re partners, aren't we? You can tell me anything. Don’t you trust me?”

Akito bristles. “Of course I fucking trust you. I’m saying this is something I have to face on my own, alright? So just stop fucking prying!”

The café falls silent. Toya’s mouth has fallen open, and he’s just… staring, wide-eyed and shaken. Only then does Akito realise that he’s slammed a fist onto the table.

He straightens up abruptly, retracting his fist and clearing his throat. “Sh–Shit. Hey, Toya listen, I didn’t mean–”

He doesn't get the chance to apologise. The café’s door slams open and a man clad in black storms inside, the glint of a knife in his hand all too blinding. His voice is a deafening boom as he yells, “Get down, all of you!”

In a flurry of movement, the café’s patrons drop to the ground on hands and knees. All Akito can do is stare dumbly at the man, paralysed. This is bad. Really, really bad. 

Just before the man can spot him, a hand grabs his wrist and pulls him down.

It’s Toya. He tightens his grip and pulls him close.

The man’s booming footsteps resound throughout the café, instilling in Akito a kind of terror he’s never felt before. His mind is reeling at everything he's experienced in the span of mere minutes. But the way Toya’s thumb rubs over his knuckles is grounding. Kind. He can't believe he had the gall to raise his voice at him. Guilt bubbles beneath his skin. 

Toya, perhaps sensing his tension and turmoil, shushes him. “Akito, it’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

The man travels across the hardwood floor without missing a beat, pointing his knife towards the customers cowering on the ground. “Come on! Gimme all you’ve got!”

A frail old lady crouched close to Akito fumbles through her purse, her hands trembling as she searches for her wallet. The man has other ideas. With one swift motion, he snatches her bag and kicks her in the abdomen, forceful enough for her to grunt in pain.

“Enough of that!” Ken shouts, storming across the café and glaring daggers at the intruder. “You’ve got some nerve, bothering my customers like that. Calm down – I’ll lead you to the cash register and I’ll give you everything, alright? Just give the lady her purse, and don’t hurt anyone else.”

The man considers Ken’s offer for a moment, his gaze flickering between Ken and the woman clutching her stomach and trembling in pain. Then, with a tut, he drops the purse.

Ken sighs. “That’s… that’s good. Thank you–”

At once the man grabs Ken by the shoulder, lifting the knife to his neck and pressing the cold steel against his skin. “Give me everything this poor excuse for a café is worth, or I’ll end you!”

Akito barely suppresses a gasp. Ken, who has done everything for Vivid Bad Squad – taken them under his wing, given them the advice they need to be the best that they can be – is now at risk of losing his life protecting everyone. He can hardly watch. All it would take is one jerk of the man's wrist, and it would all be over. 

Toya lets go of Akito's hand. The mere loss of his warmth is jarring enough for Akito to shoot him a sideways look, but Toya doesn't reciprocate it; he's already rising to his feet and creeping towards the two of them, that telltale look of determination in his eyes. A scream catches in Akito’s throat; he wants Toya to get back down, to just let the man do as he pleases, but yelling would only jeopardise Toya further. Akito’s helpless to watch as Toya leaves him and approaches the danger that he has tried so desperately to shield him from.

In one deft motion, Toya lunges forward, grabbing the hand holding the knife and lurching it back. The man, with a surprised grunt, attempts to jerk Toya’s hand away, but his grip is steadfast.

With that powerful voice Akito has grown so fond of, Toya screams.

“Stay away from Ken!”

Only then does Akito realise what he’s up against. It’s not just the external dangers that are at risk of killing Toya – speeding trucks, unfortunate accidents, harmful people – but also Toya himself. Kind, selfless Toya, so keen to jump into action and fight for what he believes is right. 

How could Akito protect Toya from who he is?

Toya is so many things. Thoughtful, loving, selfless…

…and unfortunately, he has never been physically strong.

The struggle doesn’t last long. The man jerks his wrist free from Toya’s grasp before plunging the knife straight into his chest.

Akito hates this. Hates everything about it. He just wants to go home.

Upon witnessing Toya's helpless, wide-eyed expression, the man cackles, retracting the knife with a sickening squelch before stabbing it a second time, this time in Toya's abdomen.

Toya's breath stutters, choked noises bubbling in his throat as the man twists the knife, a devilish grin on his face. Toya's movements are shaky and lethargic, but eventually he manages to pry the man's fingers from the knife. Then, sluggishly, he meets Ken's eyes from over the man's shoulder and nods.

In a blur, Ken yells, tackling the attacker to the ground, pinning his hands against his back even as he flails and spews curses. Toya watches them with a tired smile and, as he turns to meet Akito's eyes, he crumples to the ground.

Akito darts forward and catches him. Holds him close. Rakes his eyes over the blood blooming on his torso.

Blood spills past Toya's lips, and his gaze is vacant but still alive. This is the first time Akito's been able to hold him like this before a reset. 

Scratch that. This won't be a reset. An ambulance is on the way. Toya will make it out. He has to.

“Hang in there, partner,” Akito murmurs, lowering Toya to the ground and pressing against the wounds. They're so deep. They won't stop bleeding. Akito doesn't dare let his fear betray him. He settles on a smile. “Help is on the way.”

Toya barely musters the energy to shake his head. His hair falls in front of his eyes and with a trembling, bloody hand, Akito brushes it aside. Toya's pupils are dilated. “Ak–Akito, I… ‘m scared…”

“It's okay, Toya,” Akito whispers, cradling Toya's face. Blood stains his pale skin. “You've already been so brave. You're so damn brave, you know that? A fucking hero.”

His words make Toya smile. Fuck, all Akito has ever wanted is to make Toya smile. Why did he waste so much time yelling at him earlier? He's a piece of shit.

Toya lifts an unsteady hand, bringing it to Akito's cheek. Akito can't even urge Toya to conserve his energy, because he needs this. He needs to feel Toya's warmth while it lasts. 

“Ak– hah, Akito…” His chest rises and falls shallowly with each ragged breath. “D–Don’ wanna go. Wanna be with you.” His eyes glisten and spill over with tears. They fall to the ground, pooling on the hardwood floor.

It hits Akito that although he'll surely come face to face with a new Toya, this Toya will never see him again. His heart shatters.

He must be so scared.

Akito doesn't bother suppressing his tears anymore. They trickle down his cheeks, though Toya's thumb is there to swipe them away. 

“Toya, I'll… I'll see you again.” He rests a hand atop Toya's and caresses it. “I promise.”

More tears pool in the corners of Toya's eyes. Even on the brink of death, he is so damn beautiful. 

Toya smiles, his eyes crinkling. 

“I'll hold you to it.”

Slowly – excruciatingly slowly – his smile relaxes, and his arm goes slack. Akito holds his hand in place anyway.

Despite being covered in blood, Toya looks so peaceful.

The doors slam open. Police burst in, and paramedics follow with a stretcher. The world blurs as they rip Toya away from him, and all he can do is stare at the puddle of blood he's kneeling in.

Useless. Every fucking one of them. Can't do their jobs properly and get here on time. All they needed was to get here a second earlier. 

One. 

Fucking. 

Second. 

This is ridiculous. The universe must be playing tricks on him. What kind of twisted game is this? Who is subjecting him to this? Why? When he finds them, he will tear them apart, limb from limb. He swears it. Toya doesn't deserve any of this. It should be him. He'd die a thousand gruesome deaths if it meant Toya could be safe and happy. 

His vision goes red. An ugly noise fills his ears. He realises that he's been screaming.

He's going to find whoever's responsible. He's going to kill them. He's going to kill them. He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to kill them He's going to k

Akito has lived through this day over and over and over.

He's done everything to alter Toya's fate, but it's apparently never going to change. It's engraved into concrete. 

One time he'd grabbed Toya, placed them both on a bike, and cycled far, far away. The front tyre popped off, sending Toya flying into a ditch.

Another time Akito had taken Toya to his room and just laid there with him. Safe. Shielded. Then the ceiling collapsed right where Toya had been laying, leaving Akito unharmed but Toya a mangled mess.

Akito took Toya to get ice cream. It was poisoned, and Toya collapsed in a puddle of his vomit and blood. Akito took Toya to the mall. The escalator malfunctioned as he was about to step off, dragging him under. Akito brought Toya to the hospital. He got attacked and killed by a crazy patient.

Over, and over, and over. Akito has heard Toya's screams, seen his blood, more times than he can count. It haunts him.

“Ah– N-No! Akito!” 

He zones back in just in time to see Toya ripped to pieces by a rabid dog. Blood sprays everywhere, splatters onto his face.

He hates dogs. Hates them. He can't believe they'd called themselves Bad Dogs long ago.

How long ago has it been? How many years has he spent in this never ending loop? How many more will he spend here, watching Toya die again and again?

When will it end?

“Akito? Hey, are you alright?”

Toya’s staring straight at him. Alive, again.

Akito can’t find the energy to respond. Can’t find the energy to blink. Can’t find the energy to move. He’s rooted in place, like there are shackles around his ankles, his wrists, his throat. It’s a fitting punishment for failing Toya so many times.

Akito didn’t realise it, but Toya’s in his face now, gripping his shoulders and staring intently into his eyes. He’s saying something. Akito can’t decipher it, but he looks angry. Good. Akito deserves to be shouted at. He deserves to be hurt and humiliated.

But then Toya’s words finally register, and it dawns on Akito that he was never angry at all.

“What’s wrong, Akito? Did I do something wrong? Whatever it is, I’m sorry, okay? Please say something.”

Though it may not look like it, Toya sounds like he’s on the verge of tears with the way his voice is all choked up and tremulous. And his hands are trembling on his shoulders, digging into them in a desperate attempt to elicit any sort of reaction from Akito.

But Akito just stands there and feels and hears. He’s nothing but a hollow shell of himself. He couldn’t respond if he tried.

Toya gently shakes him by the shoulders, his brows knitting together. “Hey… You’re scaring me, Akito.”

Akito isn’t surprised. He’s scared of himself too. He’s scared of how pathetic he’s become, of how frail and insignificant his efforts are. Perhaps he’s better off like this; at least his shortcomings would be justified if he were declared braindead.

After one last longing look, Toya sighs, his hands slipping off of Akito’s shoulders. “Okay… You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Just…” He trails off, his gaze dropping, and after a moment of brief contemplation, he grabs Akito’s hand. “I can’t leave you like this. I’ll take you to mine and you can rest, alright? My parents aren't home anyway – it’ll be just you and me. Once you feel better, we can talk.”

Toya steps back, gently tugging on Akito and smiling sadly as Akito stumbles forward, barely managing to catch himself. “Take as much time as you need, Akito. Okay? I just want you to be happy.”

Akito’s face remains blank. Toya turns and guides him down the street. The summer air is still stifling. 

Buildings pass. People pass. His phone buzzes. All Akito can think to do is stare at his hands intertwined with Toya's as they walk. It’s warm. Pleasant. Akito didn’t think anything could be remotely pleasant in this poor excuse for a life.

They arrive at Toya’s house soon enough. As Toya guides Akito through the front gate, he stiffens. Akito peers over Toya’s shoulder, unable to help his curiosity, and that’s when he sees it.

A black cat curled up on Toya’s doorstep, fast asleep. Toya tilts his head as he regards it, seemingly intrigued, and Akito’s heart drops. He knows what to expect. Toya loves cats, and he’ll definitely pet this one regardless of how uneasy it makes Akito. Akito wouldn’t blame him. How is Toya supposed to know that this is the same cat that has tormented him, taunted him, over and over and over?

The cat, probably sensing the attention, peeks its eyes open and lifts its head, doing a little shimmy as if expecting to be pet. But Toya… he just. Sighs.

“Excuse me,” he mutters, his tone sharp. “Out of the way, please.” 

And despite himself, Akito’s heart flutters at the abrupt shift in his demeanour. Toya rarely lets this side of him show, much less to a cat. What caused this change, when all he’s ever been with cats is gentle?

The cat’s eyes narrow. If Akito didn’t know any better, he’d say it was trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes. But he’s seen this cat enough to know what it wants.

After a moment of staring at one another, the cat eventually leaps off the doorstep and saunters onto the street. 

Toya takes the opportunity to slot his key into the door, turn it, and swing the door open before tugging Akito inside. Toya slips out of his shoes, setting them aside, but Akito can only stare dumbly down at his. They’re dirty.

Toya, sensing his hesitation, kneels in front of him, not wasting a second as he unties his laces and pulls the trainers off his feet. He places them neatly next to his own shoes, before rising to his feet again and taking Akito’s hand. Warm. 

“Come on,” Toya murmurs. 

With slow steps, he guides Akito to the living room. He hasn’t been here in a while, but it looks as neat as he remembers. Toya settles him onto the couch. Akito doesn’t think to get comfortable; he won’t be here a while. With the way things have gone, it won’t be long before another reset. It’s all he can do to just wait. 

It's a horrible feeling. It's like watching a bubble grow and grow and waiting for the inevitable burst.

Toya's crouched in front of him, having taken both his hands and cradling them like they're the most precious of treasures. His gaze is sincere, his tone soft as he asks, “Is there anything I can do for you? Are you thirsty?”

Akito doesn't respond. Keeps staring into those mesmerising eyes.

Toya swallows. “It's gotten really hot out there. I was wondering if you just wanted to cool down, but I suppose not…?”

Akito blinks. His lips remain sealed. Toya's really pretty.

Like the sun hiding behind the clouds, Toya's smile finally falls. His expression grows uncertain. “Akito, I…” He purses his lips as he searches for the right words, then, “I'm worried about you.”

Akito's worried about himself too. It's a surprise he hasn't tried to kill himself yet.

Toya hesitantly glances away from Akito. Glances at the kitchen, Akito realises. He can practically hear the cogs turning in Toya's head. He has a nice side profile.

With a tiny sigh, Toya stands. “Akito, I'm just going to be there for a moment, alright?” He points to the kitchen. It's joined to the living room, and from the couch Akito has a perfect view of it. “I'm not going anywhere, I promise.”

Then he turns and goes.

He sifts through cupboards and peruses the fridge, grabbing items Akito doesn't care enough to identify before placing them on the counter. He sets to work, pouring things into a bowl, combining them with a whisk.

Toya's never been the best cook. Akito doesn't know why he's bothering now, of all times.

In the bowl, the ingredients soon form some sort of a smooth consistency. A familiar consistency. Where has he seen that before, that thick batter dripping from a whisk?

Then it hits him, just as that same aroma wafts through the air. That same aroma that has never failed to bring him joy.

“Pancakes,” Toya calls, as if sensing Akito's recognition. “I'm not the best cook. I know that. But I also know how much you love pancakes, so… I’ve been practising in secret.” His expression grows sheepish. “I… know it's not much, but I just want to try and make you smile again.”

Akito doesn't deserve Toya. He's got such a pure, kind soul. He doesn't even know what Akito's been through, and yet here he is, whipping together pancakes on his own volition. Just to see him smile.

But he still doesn't say anything, so Toya returns to his task, tapping the whisk against the edge of the bowl and setting it aside. He readies a pan, placing it on the electric stove and accurately adjusting the knob to begin heating. His every movement is both meticulous and practised, and knowing his infamous history of failed dishes, it's heartwarming to see him so prepared. So confident. 

Akito's almost… hopeful. And that usually only signifies one thing.

Any moment now.

Toya’s oblivious. He hums to himself as he melts a piece of butter on the pan, swirling it around. After scooping up a cup of the batter, he gently pours it into the pan’s centre. All familiar stages of cooking pancakes, but somehow more endearing when it’s Toya completing the steps. 

It’s been a while since Akito’s seen him in this light. This light being: not on the brink of death.

Regardless, it’s… refreshing. Reminds Akito of better days, when all they’d ever worried about was surpassing Rad Weekend. He wonders, had he not been trapped in this loop, if they’d have achieved their dream by now. 

Once the pancake begins to sizzle, Toya, with a confident hand, wriggles the spatula beneath the pancake before flipping it. Even from the couch, Akito can tell how nicely cooked it is from that crisp brown. Toya really has practised.

It only takes another minute or so before the other side’s done. Toya lifts the pan and slides the pancake onto a plate, a proud, almost childlike grin on his face. Placing the pan back on the stove, he displays the plate to Akito. The way smoke curls from the freshly cooked pancake, rising up and caressing Toya’s face and swirling around his glistening eyes… He looks like a dream.

“Well? Better than expected, right?” Toya chuckles, placing the plate onto the counter. “I’ll make some more. Help yourself to this one if you’d like.” And with that, he turns and lifts the cup again, ready to scoop up some more batter to cook.

Akito watches on, bewildered. Everything is… normal. Toya is happy. Safe. Smiling. The horrors of death are far, far away from here.

Could this be it…? Is this the end?

With a quiet heave, Akito pushes himself onto his feet, his movements as coordinated as a baby deer's and his limbs as strong as twigs. He manages his way to the kitchen regardless, step by step. That heavenly smell wafts through the air, sunlight weaves its way into the house, Toya is cooking away… Everything is right.

In no time at all, Akito is by Toya’s side, watching as Toya flips the second pancake. Upon noticing Akito’s proximity, Toya’s smile widens. It’s the brightest smile Akito’s ever seen from Toya, and it’s beautiful, the way it perfectly settles on his face like morning dewdrops on leaves.

“Akito, you’re… you’re smiling,” Toya murmurs. “I’m so glad.”

He hadn’t even realised it, but it’s true. He can’t stop smiling. He can’t help himself. After everything he’s been through, this must be heaven. 

He glances down at the plated pancake. It looks even better up close, and it dawns on Akito just how long he’s gone without eating. He’d never realised it, since his body resets with every loop. That, and the fact that seeing all that blood has made him lose his appetite more than a few times.

He’s tempted. So, so tempted. He can indulge in a bit of a snack, can’t he?

He reaches for the pancake with a steady hand and a smile. He’s forgotten what it was like to be happy.

Apparently he’ll continue to forget.

In a burst of light, the kitchen lights up like a firework show. The stove crackles and pops, sparks flying and smoking every which way. Toya yells and jerks back from the stove in unfettered bewilderment, and he can’t even think to stop the malfunction, let alone identify its source, before the sparks find a tea towel and set it ablaze.

“Oh no,” Toya mutters, backing away from the fire with wild eyes and pulling Akito further away from the kitchen. “Get out of here. I’ll go find a blanket to put this out, okay?”

He looks so determined. So ready to preserve this life that was destined to fizzle out from the beginning. Akito wishes he still had the same resolve. 

He doesn’t even answer before Toya takes off, sprinting to his room and leaving Akito to stare at the ever-growing flame. Tea towels are highly flammable. The fire has engulfed it, and as its charred remains melt onto the hardwood floor, the crackling grows louder, as clear and sharp as snapping bones. Black smoke rises, beginning to cloak the ceiling, and that’s when a shrill, piercing noise fills the house. Must be the smoke alarm.

Brighter, hotter, blinding. The entire kitchen area has been engulfed now. Akito remains rooted to the spot, waiting for the flames to take him.

Rapid footsteps and heavy breaths approach him from behind, followed by the muffled crumple of dropped fabric. Toya has dropped the blanket – it's useless to stop something of such a scale – and his grey eyes are bright and wide and glued to the fire. “How… How did it… and in such a short time…?”

Akito should’ve known. He was foolish to think that perhaps he had overcome the cycle, that maybe the universe had finally decided to offer him respite.

Everything around them steadily grows darker. Toya grabs Akito’s arm. “Crouch down and crawl. Come on – crawl with me. Let’s get out of here, quickly.”

Akito can’t tear his gaze away from the fire. Toya shakes him. “Akito, please. This is serious.”

It’s so hot. Akito sweats a lot when he’s hot. The smoke clings to his skin like unwanted memories and crawls into his lungs like suffocating guilt.

“Akito, I–” Toya cuts himself off with a sharp cough. “Come here.” He wraps one arm around his shoulders, pushing him low, and places his other hand snugly over his mouth and nose. “It’s okay. You’re–” He coughs again, “–gonna be fine. Just fine. I've got you.”

Together, they stumble through the corridor, only colliding with the walls five times. The smoke alarm’s siren is more suffocating than the smoke, and navigating the darkness is like trudging through a nightmare. 

Toya's legs give way, sending both of them against a wall. His body rattles with each throaty cough – it's so evident, with their bodies pressed side by side. Only then does Akito realise that Toya must be inhaling smoke, having focused all his efforts on protecting him. His hand remains steadfast on Akito's mouth, unwavering even as he coughs up a lung. 

“Save yourself,” Akito rasps, trying to meet Toya's eyes and failing as the darkness consumes them. Akito doesn't understand why Toya hasn't left yet. He's had every chance to. Akito isn't worth the effort anyway – a useless braindead thing.

Toya's grip around him tightens, his muscles trembling with the effort. A shuddering sigh escapes him, and he mutters, “You're my partner – I'm not leaving without you.”

And so, with an unforeseen strength, he pushes himself off the wall, righting them, and continues to guide him towards the front door. The black smoke engulfs them in shadow, curling against the door. A curtain from the outside world.

“Akito,” Toya croaks, “help. Unlock the door, please.” 

He's the only one with free hands. If there's anyone that's going to save them from this situation, it'll be him.

But as his vision swims and the world around him darkens and his hands hang uselessly by his side, he might as well be a rock with how lifeless he feels.

Maybe he should just stay here like this and die with Toya. It'd be better; he'd be able to put an end to this cycle, and what better way to do it in Toya's arms?

He thinks to go lax, to pull Toya close and let the smoke swallow them completely. But Toya's arms still tremble with effort, his breaths shallow and ragged, and although he may not voice it, it's clear he doesn't share this sentiment. He wants to live.

There's still a chance. Everything's riding on this, and if Akito pulls it off, this could be the one.

The final repeat.

Akito reaches forward with a shaky hand, scrambling for the lock through the smog. He finds the latch and twists and twists, and the door's click cuts through the hazy air. Without a moment's waste, he pulls on the door handle and drags them both out.

As they escape the fog, Toya's hands fall away from Akito, and with the sudden loss of support he falls forward onto the concrete with a full thud. His throat and eyes burn as he coughs, struggling to gulp in mouthfuls of oxygen.

It’s like he's floating, the way his mind is blissfully empty and his limbs are unfeeling. Eventually, however, he comes to. The stifling summer air burns against his skin, not unlike the air inside the smoke-filled house. It's as if they’d never left.

Grunting, Akito rolls himself onto his back, weakly pushing himself into a seated position, as he searches for Toya. To verify that they both made it out.

They did. Thank God, they did.

But Toya's on his back, his body eerily still. Akito, with his remaining strength fuelled by adrenaline, scrambles to his side, frantically grabbing his shoulders.

This can't be the end. Not after they were so close.

Like this, Toya is almost unrecognisable. He's pale – so, so pale – and his skin is streaked with ash, and his lips are as blue as his hair. His eyes are glossy and red as they peer up at him. “You're– you're… okay?” he whispers.

Akito nods. He's okay. He's perfectly fine. That's the worst part: it should be Toya who's okay, who's fine, not him. Never him.

“I'm sorry,” Akito murmurs, gripping him tighter, afraid that Toya would slip through his fingers if he were to let go. “I'm so sorry.”

Toya shakes his head, a tiny, breathless gasp bubbling in his throat. “Don't be. I'm… I'm just glad you're safe–”

“Shut up!” he yells, tears spilling from his eyes. “I can't… I can't do this without you. I can't, I can't…”

Toya's lips, frighteningly devoid of their usual rosiness, curl up into an apologetic smile, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. How he can look so beautiful even in such a state is beyond Akito.

“I don't have long,” Toya rasps. “Just… promise me something, Akito.” His eyelids droop dangerously low, and Akito has to lean closer, tightening his grip evermore in an attempt to keep him conscious.

“What is it?” His olive eyes search Toya's with a desperation he rarely shows, even when it comes to music. Gods, his passion for music could hardly be compared with his love for Toya.

Toya's smile softens, and a long, shuddering breath escapes him, disappearing into the summer air. 

“Promise me you won't stop smiling.”

The words crush him like a speeding truck. His breath hitches and he parts his lips to respond, but Toya's eyes have already slipped shut. 

He's already long gone.

…Why? 

Why?

Gritting his teeth, Akito slams a fist into the ground, his entire body trembling with the effort to accommodate his silent sobs.

“How can you say that and fucking die right after?” he mutters, staring at Toya as if he'd wake up and answer him. His tears fall onto pale cheeks. “Fucking idiot… I can't smile like this… I can't smile at all…”

He sobs over Toya's body for what feels like an eternity. The last thought that crosses his mind is a bitter one.

Akito has spent a thousand attempts to save Toya, but Toya saved him on the first try.

“Akito?”

The air is hot like fire. “Are you alright?”

Akito blinks. “Mhm.”

Brows furrowed, Toya steps towards him. “Are you sure? You look pale–”

“I’ll be fine,” Akito says, “but you go on ahead. I'll catch up with you, alright?”

Toya opens his mouth and hesitates. Akito just stares with a smile until Toya relents. “O–Okay. I'll see you soon then.” 

He turns and walks down the street, to the park where An and Kohane are waiting.

Akito watches his back. Watches as he walks and turns the corner, disappearing from view. 

The street is empty. The summer air is stifling. 

It burns. He wants to get out of his skin.

Akito throws himself against a building, his bones crunching against the bricks, and he slumps to the ground, gripping his hair and tearing at it. He screams. It’s sandpaper against his throat. He screams anyway. His vocal cords give way. His throat gives way too, and he's left heaving and gagging and before he realises it there's bile spilling past his lips, splattering onto the ground.

He coughs and coughs, tears spilling down his cheeks as he stares at the ground. He lifts a fist and punches the ground over and over and over and over and it's all red everything is red his fists the ground his vision

The sun beats down on him without mercy. His clothes and his hair stick to his skin, and he's practically drenched in sweat. He lies there, in his puddle of vomit and blood, eyes open yet unseeing. 

Something appears in his vision. A splotch of darkness, swimming around. Only when Akito registers the two yellow dots does he blink, focusing his vision. It's the cat. It looks pleased with itself, sitting right in front of him and swishing its tail to and fro. It yawns.

Akito wishes he could take the cat by the neck and rip out its throat and gauge out its eyes. He's far too weak for that right now. All they can do is stare at each other.

A cicada buzzes in a nearby bush. A mosquito zips by, circling Akito's hand before perching on it. It greedily sinks its needle into his skin. Akito wishes it would drink and drink until all his blood was gone, and he'd be nothing but a shrivelled thing on the pavement.

But it's satisfied soon enough, and it zips away.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and the cat scurries away, leaving Akito alone. He doesn't find the energy to answer it. It doesn't stop ringing regardless. 

When the sound becomes unbearable, blaring in his head like a siren, he finally decides to reach into his pocket and grab it. He can barely make out the blurry text on his screen, but he eventually reads that it's An. He moves to answer the call, but the phone slips out of his hand and into the puddle of vomit. He presses the green button anyway, the screen having landed facing up.

Muffled sobs are all Akito can hear from the other end. It's a jarring noise, unbearable when his head is already pounding from the heat and his exhaustion.

“Aki… Akito, are you there?” An manages through her sobs. She's never sounded so distraught. Akito finds that he doesn't care.

He hums. His vocal cords are destroyed, so he wouldn't be able to utter a word anyway. Not that he would. He's not in the mood to speak right now.

An thankfully doesn't mind. She sniffles and hiccups before sobbing again. “It's… it's Toya. He got into an–an accident. He got hit by a drunk driver, Akito. He–He’s…” She wails. “He's gone. Toya's gone. I'm sorry, Akito, I'm so sor–”

He slams his fist onto his phone, shattering it instantly. 

The cicada continues to buzz.

Akito breathes in, eyes fluttering closed, then breathes out. His every muscle screams, yet he pushes himself onto his feet regardless. Once he balances himself, he staggers down the pavement to the main road.

It's hot outside, the streets are empty, but there are still some cars zooming past. They're driving fast enough for this to be painless. 

A red car is approaching. Its driver is upright; no chance of it veering this way or that. It doesn't matter. When it's a few feet away, Akito steps onto the road.

He flinches at the glare of sunlight assailing his eyes, at the deafening buzz of cicadas and the burst of heat on his skin. It's too much, the sensations overwhelming him after the brief nothingness he'd just experienced. 

“Akito?”

He lifts his head to meet those grey eyes peering at him with a curiosity Akito has seen time and time again. It has always, without fail, morphed into terror.

He can't bear to see it happen again. 

But it's already been made clear: even death can't sever the loop.

He truly is trapped here. He's destined to suffer, and Toya's destined to die.

“Hey? Is everything alright?”

Akito freezes.

It's not. It's really not. It's the furthest from alright. 

It's those words alone that crumble the walls he's built around himself for the hundreds of thousands of retries he's lived through. The strength he has summoned to endure the pain leaves him, and agony hits him at full force.

He falls to his knees, burying his face in his hands, and sobs. He sobs and sobs, tears streaking his face and his palms digging into his eyes. Pathetic wailing spills past his lips, even as gentle hands rest on his shoulders and coax his hands away from his face.

Through tears, Akito blinks up at Toya, whose expression has softened impossibly. “Hey… what's wrong? Please tell me.”

Sniffling, Akito drops his head, parting his lips to speak but nothing more than a strangled cry escapes him. A warm hand lands on his cheek, tilting his face upwards. As if Toya couldn't look any more concerned, he's now staring at Akito like he's on the brink of death. “Hey. It's okay. Take your time.”

He genuinely wants to know, that much is clear. All this time, Akito has refused to tell Toya anything about the loops, and for good reason. He feared that Toya wouldn't believe him, wouldn't trust him. He feared that Toya would be frightened, that he would shun him. And that would hurt more than any death.

But the secret has spent so long festering inside him, eating him up from the inside out and leaving him to rot. He's in agony. He can't take it anymore.

In a flurry of manic, jumbled words, he tells Toya everything. About the deaths, about the resets, about how Toya has forgotten time and time again and how Akito has had to live with the memories of it all. Although he hides the more gruesome details, it's easy to infer the nature of what he's seen from the haunted look in his eyes.

By the time he's done, he's a gasping, shuddering mess, only consoled by the gentle caress of a thumb under his eye.

Toya's face has darkened too. At a loss for words. For a moment, Akito's convinced his concerns would manifest, that Toya really would laugh in his face and call him delusional. He braces himself for the imminent pain.

But Toya just leans forward. He presses their foreheads together, and sighs. 

“I believe you, Akito. I… I may not fully understand, but it's clear it's affected you more than I can fathom. Of course I believe you.”

He's smiling now, but it's… melancholic. It must have dawned on him that, if Akito's words really were real, his death would be imminent. He does little to hide his dread.

Guilt bubbles in Akito's stomach. He didn't want Toya to feel like this. It's the last thing he wanted.

Toya must sense his guilt. He pulls away, and the sun catches his eyes as his smile widens. It's still strained. “Thank you for telling me.”

When Akito doesn't respond, Toya pushes himself to his feet with a quiet grunt, and he extends a hand. “Come on. Let's go home.” He glistens beneath the warm light like an angel blessed by the sun god himself. His hair sways in the summer breeze, and his smile, though forced, couldn't look more serene in this moment.

Akito takes the hand and rises to his feet. He feels lighter now. Like a curse has been lifted.

Together, they saunter down the street, relishing in the peace, and for a fleeting moment, Akito's convinced everything is going to be okay.

A black cat sits on the pavement, a few paces ahead of them. Its tail swishes to and fro, and the black slits in its yellow eyes tighten.

Akito trembles. His breath hitches. 

The cat stares back, baring its teeth as it yawns.

“G-Get the hell away,” he spits, tightening his grip on Toya's hand. Toya glances between him and the cat, brows furrowed.

“What? What is it?” he murmurs.

“Toya, let's get out of here.” He tugs Toya in the opposite direction, throat tightening. “That cat's behind everything. We can't stay here.”

Toya parts his lips, nodding eventually as he stumbles along. “Okay. Let's go to mine, then we can t–”

He freezes.

Akito's hand slips from Toya's in the rush, and he slows and turns. “Hey? Toya? Come on, we need to–”

Toya clutches at his chest, gripping the cotton of his shirt. It wrinkles between his fingers in a way he would never usually allow. He's shaking.

Akito steps closer, eyes wide. “What's wrong? Toya!” He grips his shoulders, gaze burning into his. He searches for answers once it's clear Toya isn't able to respond. “You don't feel well–?”

He hears it now. The rapid, booming thump of Toya's heart, ramming against his rib cage. Threatening to burst free.

Toya's face grows paler, twisting with horror. His chest pulses with each forceful slam.

Over his shoulder, Akito catches a glimpse of the cat. It blinks slowly at him before scurrying away.

After a final choked noise bubbles in Toya's throat, his chest bursts open, blood splattering all over Akito and Toya and the pavement in a disgusting squelch.

Toya's face is still contorted in anguish, except now his eyes are dull and lifeless, his hair casting shadows over the once-brilliant greys.

He collapses onto his back with a heavy thud.

Akito stands there, his gaze dropping to his hands. Red. He pulls at his shirt. Red. His pants, shoes, red. The floor beneath his feet, red.

Toya, red. Red. Red. Everything is red.

Everything is red. 

Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everything is red. Everyth

There's nothing he can do. No matter how hard he flails, no matter how many retries he endures or how many scenarios he alters or who knows about the cycle, one thing is certain.

Death will always be around the corner, ready to stare him in the face and steal away everything that matters to him.

What's the point? When all routes lead to death, why bother trying to fight at all?

He won't fight it. Not anymore. The neverending chasing and hiding has exhausted Akito of his strength. 

He will embrace the inevitable and live out each day to the fullest. That way, it won't be the despair that repeats, over and over.

It'd be the happiness.

“Toya.”

Said boy looks up from his phone, his face lighting up as Akito approaches. “Hey.”

But Akito keeps walking until they're but a breath away, his hands resting on Toya's shoulders and his olive eyes burning into his. “There's something I've been meaning to tell you. For a long time.”

This close, their breaths intermingle, their chests nearly touching. Akito wonders whether Toya can hear the rapid thump of his heart.

Toya's eyes widen fractionally at the abrupt proximity. “Really? What is it?”

Akito's eyes flutter shut, and he draws in a slow, deep breath. Then it leaves him, as does the last of his hesitation.

“I love you.”

Toya's jaw goes slack, shock flickering over his features as he processes Akito's confession. His beautiful grey eyes roam Akito's own face, searching for any trace of dishonesty. “You're serious.”

“I'm completely, totally, thoroughly, one hundred percent serious. I love you, Aoyagi Toya. I am so, so, so in love with y–”

Hands grab his shirt and tug him closer, and suddenly his lips slam against another pair. Soft. Sweet. Warm, like a gentle summer breeze.

Akito can't wait for the next repeat, and the one after that. He can't wait to feel these lips against his over, and over, and over.

They pull away after a moment, and Toya's eyes shimmer with unbridled glee. “I'm… so happy.”

“So am I,” Akito replies. After all that death and suffering, it's so easy to cherish a moment as delicate and loving as this one, with everything he has. “Now come on – let's celebrate. I'll buy you a sundae from Weekend Garage.”

Toya stiffens, but Akito's already interlaced their fingers and began pulling him down the empty street.

“W–Wait, but what about practice?” Toya stammers. Despite his protests, he makes no move to fight against Akito's grip. Their hands slot together so nicely. So perfectly.

Akito shrugs. “Eh, we can always catch up later. Today is about us.”

This time, Akito doesn’t have to drag Toya around. They walk side by side, in no rush at all.

Akito slams open the door to Weekend Garage, shooting a grin at Ken as he waves at them. “Oh, if it isn’t the–”

“–Bad Dogs!” Akito cuts in. “Yeah, it’s good to see you too, Ken. And before you ask, Toya and I had decided we were going to cool off for a bit before heading to practice. It’s boiling out there.”

Ken nods, his expression one of poorly stifled bewilderment. “How did you know what I was going to…” He sighs. “Eh, whatever. Sit wherever you’d like.”

As they walk past him, Toya calls, “Thank you for having us, Ken.”

Together, they venture towards the corner of the café, where their favourite seats are located. There’s something so cosy about it, with it being tucked away like a well-kept secret. It’s always been the perfect spot for the two of them to relax together.

They settle into their seats, still buzzing with the adrenaline of the two-way confession. But then Akito stiffens as if suddenly remembering something. He pulls out his phone, typing in a number, before putting it to his ear. 

Toya cocks his head. “Who are you calling–?”

Akito raises a hand, signalling for Toya’s silence. Then he begins to speak. “Hello, I’m calling from the Weekend Garage in Shibuya. …Yes, the café. Please send the police here quickly; an armed man is planning to rob it. He’s on his way now… Well, yeah, of course I saw him.”

Toya’s eyes widen at Akito’s sudden declaration. He parts his lips to speak, but Akito raises his hand again. “...Yes. Yes, I’ll be here. No, thank you. Goodbye.” And with that, he drops his phone to the table, letting out a long sigh. That’s that dealt with. 

He didn’t necessarily have to do this, but it certainly gives him peace of mind. He couldn’t possibly be content with the knowledge that Ken and the café would be in danger in every retry.

Toya’s still staring at Akito like he’s gone crazy. “Akito, why did you call the police? There’s no danger. You shouldn’t waste their time; they’ve got important matters to attend to.”

Huffing, Akito leans back in his seat. “Well, it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?”

Toya’s concern multiplies, and he scrunches his nose. Almost like a cute little kitty. “That makes no sense.”

Then Akito raises a hand, calling Ken over. As he makes his way to them, Akito pointedly ignores Toya’s burning gaze. “One chocolate sundae, please.”

As Akito and Toya leave the café, they wave Ken goodbye, thanking him for the delicious ice cream. The peace of the street, however, has been shattered by the glare of red and blue of a police car parked on the side of the road, on which officers are pinning down a handcuffed man clad in black. He’s spewing expletives, writhing and wriggling, but his jarring voice fades as Akito and Toya walk away from the scene.

Their hands are still intertwined.

“Akito, how did you know?” Toya asks, for the fifth time in ten minutes. “Did you really spot him before we entered?”

“Yeah,” Akito lies. He’d rather not explain the whole spiel again; it wouldn’t end pretty. Akito’s seen more than enough red to last a lifetime. 

As they saunter down the street, they come across a strikingly familiar scene – at least, familiar for Akito.

A truck has driven straight through a café window, glass spilling across the ground. There’s yellow tape restricting the scene from public access, so they have to walk around it. Before, that truck had cost them a life, but now it’s but a minor inconvenience.

They arrive at the park soon enough. Despite the heat, An and Kohane are still performing their hearts out, so lost in the music that they don’t even register Akito and Toya’s presence. But it’s fine. They quietly stand to the side, watching as the pair dance to the beat, their powerful voices resounding through the quiet street and intermingling like they were destined to sing together.

Eventually the song dies down and they remain in position for a moment, chests heaving and skin glistening with sweat. Gods, it’s hot. Akito doesn’t know how the girls do this. He’s relieved they’d chosen to stop by Weekend Garage first; the cool, sweet sundae has prepared him to break a sweat. (But also he had fun spoon feeding Toya ice cream. He’s never, ever going to admit that out loud.)

It’s only when the girls finally break their formation when they catch sight of them. Kohane jolts, a surprised noise escaping her before she can stifle it. “Shinonome-kun, Aoyagi-kun… I thought you weren’t going to make it.”

An folds her arms. Having shed her jacket, she’s in nothing but a black tank top, and it’s only more apparent how sweat trickles down her skin. “Yeah, what gives? You didn’t even leave us a message.”

Akito rubs the nape of his neck. “Uh, yeah, about that…”

“My apologies, you two,” Toya murmurs. “Akito and I got sidetracked, and–”

“We’re dating now, by the way.”

“–and… eh?” Toya whirls around to face Akito, positively mortified. “You can’t just–!”

Akito’s surprised by his boldness, too. In any normal circumstance, he wouldn’t be so loose-lipped about something as significant as this relationship, but right now he can’t bring himself to care. This whole timeline will cease to exist in a few hours anyway. He can do whatever the hell he wants, thank you very much.

The girls look just as shocked as Toya.

“Holy shit,” An mutters, her amber eyes flickering between the both of them. With every passing second, her jaw falls lower. “Kohane… you owe me big money.”

Kohane groans, her shoulders slumping. “I was sure they were just close friends…”

“Wait a minute,” Akito murmurs, “you were placing bets on us?”

“What can I say?” An asks. “It was getting boring watching the both of you dance around each other. Kohane and I just had to spice things up.”

Akito’s lip twitches as An attempts to defend herself. He wants to be mad. Hell, he should be mad. But it’s been so long since he’s experienced such normalcy, that he can’t find it within himself to complain. He hadn’t realised how much he’s missed spending time as a group like this. He’s wasted all his time trying to protect Toya.

With an exaggerated sigh, Akito grumbles, “Whatever. Toya and I are kinda on a date right now, so let’s make this quick and practise a few songs.”

An nods, her hand on her hip. “Sounds good to me.”

“Let’s do this!” Kohane cheers.

They make their way towards the open space, setting up a new song and chatting amongst themselves. Meanwhile, a hand slips into Akito’s, somehow cool and not at all clammy despite the stifling weather. Akito meets Toya’s eyes, and his breath hitches at the pure adoration swirling within them. Love, affection, admiration, all for him. This is all he’s ever wanted.

Akito tugs Toya lightly, coaxing him towards the girls. “Come on. Let’s put on a show, Toya.”

That familiar grin of determination stretches on Toya’s lips, except this time it’s… softer. Like he’s finally coming to terms with what he and Akito truly are to one another. “Right.”

They get into position, but Akito pauses. Something registers. His gaze flickers over the ground, and he hastily kicks away any stray rocks. 

“What’s the hold up?” An asks, watching him with exasperation. 

Akito, having just finished clearing the floor, says, “Just making sure no one gets hurt.”

They run through one song, then two, then however many more. Time flies, and the sun now hangs high in the sky, shining down on them like a spotlight.

Sweaty and breathless, Akito glances over at Toya. He's standing. He's okay, if not exhausted.

Only then does Akito let himself smile.

“...Yes!”

Toya crouches down, reaching into the machine to retrieve the massive dog plushie. It appears to be a golden retriever, and in its plushie form its eyes are even more wide and round. It doesn’t fool Akito. He hates dogs just as much as he did even before Toya had dragged them to this claw machine, with his eyes sparkling and with that adorable grin on his face. He hates dogs, but he supposes he appreciates the way they make Toya smile.

When Toya shoves the plushie onto the overflowing pile in Akito’s arms, he sighs. You’d think plushies would be easy to carry around, but when it comes to visiting the arcade with Toya, it’s like carrying a whole mountain with the absurd amount he manages to win. But again, he supposes witnessing Toya’s excitement makes it all worth it, even more so now that Akito’s seen what true despair looks like on Toya’s features. He’ll have to learn to appreciate moments like these.

“I thought you were a cat person,” Akito murmurs, adjusting his grip on the plushies after a penguin slowly slips from his embrace.

Toya doesn’t spare Akito so much as a glance as he pulls out another coin from his wallet, slotting it into the machine and resting his hand on the joystick. He seems to be focusing on a pink bunny now. “I am, but I thought it would be nice to gift some more plushies to Tsukasa-senpai again.”

Akito suppresses the urge to roll his eyes, even with the knowledge that Toya wouldn’t be able to see it. “You’ve given the poor guy more than enough plushies for a lifetime, Toya.”

He doesn’t respond. His eyes are laser focused on the pink bunny lying face down on the claw machine’s floor, and with deft, slender fingers, he manoeuvres the joy stick, positioning the claw over its head. After strategically waiting for the claw to stop swaying, Toya presses the button beside the joystick, and the claw descends with a quiet whirr.

It lowers onto the bunny’s head. Toya crosses his fingers. Annoyingly, Akito finds himself holding his breath too. 

But as the claw closes, the bunny’s head slips out of its grip, and it rises empty-handed. The machine blares a womp womp sound effect. Toya sighs, his hands slipping from the controls. “That’s a shame.”

Part of Akito is somewhat glad Toya didn’t win the bunny. One more plushie in this humongous mountain in his arms and it would surely fall apart, with all these plushies rolling around the carpeted arcade floor. He couldn’t bear to see it; he’s been sent enough jealous stares from children to know the chaos that would ensue if he lost his grip.

But another part of Akito – the Akito that has lived through countless timelines in which he’s lost Toya – is outraged, because now a frown has settled on Toya’s face. He refuses to accept any outcome in which Toya isn’t happy.

Gritting his teeth, he lands a kick on the claw machine. Its lights flicker, and there’s now a dent in the metal. “It’s rigged, Toya! Rigged!”

“Hey, you can’t just kick a claw machine! It’s fine, Akito, seriously…”

They leave the arcade no longer than ten minutes later, after having stuffed their plushies into plastic bags. No way is Akito going out into the streets with a mountain of stuffed toys in his hands; people would surely get the wrong impression of him.

“Did you see the look on that worker’s face?” Akito chuckles. “He gave you a death stare for wringing all the claw machines dry.”

Toya sighs. “It couldn’t be helped; the plushies were there to be won, weren’t they?”

Their hands are intertwined as they follow the pavement, their free hands carrying the heavy bags of plushies. The golden sun hangs low in the sky, casting long shadows behind them. They’d spent longer in the arcade than expected, as always. Akito doesn’t mind though, not at all. He’d follow Toya anywhere.

“I’ve had so much fun today, Akito.” Toya meets Akito’s eyes, his serene smile perfectly complementing the tranquillity of the street. Even now that the air has cooled down, the street is still empty. For today, it belonged to the two of them.

Akito smiles at the thought. Death has been kinder today. 

“Me too. We can do this again tomorrow, if you want.” His words are hopelessly bittersweet, considering how today will be the only day for a while – possibly forever. Toya doesn’t need to know that.

Toya’s smile widens, and as he faces ahead, he squeezes Akito’s hand. “I’d like that a lot.”

The two of them reach a bus station, ready to head to their final destination of the day. Akito pays for both of their tickets at the booth.

“Akito?” Toya asks. “What made you want to visit the Sumida River all of a sudden? It’s a forty minute bus ride. We might not arrive home until late.”

It doesn’t matter. None of this matters. As long as he can spend as much time with Toya as he can during this cycle, it’s enough.

“I haven’t been there since I was a kid, with Ena and my dad. I remember it being really pretty during the sunset, and at night.” Despite it having felt like decades ago, the memories are still so vivid in his mind. So brilliant and happy, undoubtedly taking precedence over the gruesome sights he’s witnessed afterwards. He can’t wait to make memories like these with Toya. “I have a feeling you’d really like it.”

Having walked to their bus stop, they seat themselves on a bench, waiting for the bus to arrive. It’s not as crowded as it usually is.

Toya smiles. “If you think I’d enjoy it, then I most definitely will. I’m excited.”

They sit in a comfortable silence, the air filled with the ambience of the street as cars drive past. All the drivers are upright, with no chance of veering this way or that.

A head falls on his shoulder. A comforting weight, nothing like the crushing burden of trying to save Toya. Now, there is no burden; it’s but a distant memory. The here and now is him and Toya, and there’s nothing to stop him from wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him close.

It’s warm, like sunflower fields. Warm, like gentle sunlight. Warm, like a summer breeze.

A quiet meow sounds out from beside them. They both perk up at the noise, and Akito instinctively pulls Toya closer as the black cat approaches them. It looks as inconspicuous as ever, blinking slowly with those piercing yellow eyes. This time, though, it looks less threatening. Akito isn’t sure whether it’s because it’s the cat in its physicality, or because he’s no longer afraid of it.

He definitely isn’t afraid anymore. In fact, he’s almost thankful now. Thankful that he has the opportunity to spend everyday making happy memories with Toya.

He leans down and scratches the cat’s head. It’s as soft as it’s always looked, and he can’t help but spend a few more moments petting it, smoothening down its shimmering black coat. It purrs at the attention, even pushing its head into his palm. 

“I didn’t think you had a soft spot for cats, Akito,” Toya chuckles, nuzzling into Akito’s shoulder.

As he scratches underneath the cat’s chin, he murmurs, “Me neither. I guess we learn new things about ourselves everyday.”

Their bus chugs down the road, slowly pulling into their bus stop. Before they leave, Akito meets the cat’s eyes and transmits a silent message.

Please, let this death be painless.

As Akito and Toya rise from their seats, the cat yawns, before turning tail and leaving.

Akito was right. The Sumida River really is as beautiful as he remembered.

They arrived just in time to watch the sun dip beneath the horizon, casting its golden rays over the skyscrapers and the shimmering water. But that’s not the prettiest part.

The reflection of the sun in the river catches Toya’s eyes perfectly, and as he stares with admiration into the glistening water, he looks nothing short of ethereal.

Akito’s heart flutters. He wishes he could pull out his phone and capture this moment, but not only would he ruin it, it wouldn’t save on his phone once the day resets. It’s enough just to admire him in the moment anyway. No camera could ever do Toya justice.

“It’s so peaceful here,” Toya sighs, staring into the distance. The wind picks up at just the right moment, and his hair sways in the wind like threaded silk. “I think I could stay here watching this forever.”

Akito tilts his head to watch Toya from a better angle. Beautiful. “...Yeah. I feel the same way.”

The splash of rushing water and a hint of saltiness fills the air, and if anything it only adds to the peace. There’s no place Akito would rather be than here, by Toya’s side and relishing in the ambience of the city they call home. And he’d do it over, and over, and over again. 

Nothing can stop him.

He reaches to the side, clasping his hand around Toya’s and tenderly caressing his knuckles. “Toya.”

He tears his gaze away from the river immediately, meeting Akito’s eyes. “What is it?”

Akito takes a moment to admire Toya again, this time much less subtly. As embarrassing as it is, he doesn’t regret it – not when it forces a pretty pink blush onto Toya’s cheeks. 

“I’ll love you in every universe. Don’t ever forget that, ‘kay?”

Toya’s eyes widen. His blush grows and deepens, settling into his pale skin. He glows under the sun. “...Th–That’s… um…” He averts his gaze, a shy smile playing on his lips. “Where is this coming from?”

Akito’s silent for a moment. “I don’t know. I just thought you might want to know.”

How could he possibly explain to Toya that he’s going to die soon, if not in a few moments?

Toya meets his eyes again, the genuine happiness in his gaze making Akito’s heart squeeze. “You didn’t have to say it for me to know.” He looks away for a moment, staring into the river. The sky has started to dim, and the river no longer glistens with the same brilliance that it had a few moments ago. It’s no less beautiful, however. 

He lifts his head again. He'd be a fool to leave Akito hanging, as cheesy as his words may be. “By the way, Akito, I… I’ll also love–”

His breath hitches. His eyes widen.

Akito isn’t standing anymore. He’s dangling over the metal railing, because a set of hands has pushed him. 

Olive eyes meet his, wide and horrified, and after a final, guttural cry, he’s shoved again, this time over the edge. 

There’s a resounding splash in the river, disturbing the regularity of the current. Though Toya frantically searches for a hint of orange among the river’s blue, Akito doesn’t resurface.

He grips the railing tight. He has to jump in. He has to find him.

He doesn’t even get to finish that thought, because those same hands push him, too.

“Did you see the look on that worker’s face?” Akito chuckles. “He gave you a death stare for wringing all the claw machines dry.”

Toya stops dead in his tracks. The bag of plushies he’d been holding flops to the ground. Stiffly, he turns to meet Akito’s eyes. He’s here. He’s dry. 

Toya glances around. They’re in the street. There’s no sight of a river bank anywhere. In fact, they’d only just left the arcade.

“Hm? Toya?” Akito asks. “Is something wrong?”

Toya meets his eyes again, his heart sinking. Everything is wrong. They’ve already been here, lived through this. And in an hour, Akito will…

“I don’t want to go,” he whispers.

Akito steps closer, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. From the look in his eyes, it's clear he has no recollection of what had just occurred. “What was that?”

“I don’t want to go to the river.”

There’s a moment of stillness between them, the silence only broken by Toya’s ragged breaths. Akito tilts his head. “What, you tired or something?” he asks.

Toya nods. Yes, sure, he’s tired, whatever. Anything to stay far from that river. 

Thankfully, Akito doesn’t force him. He’s always been kind like that. “That’s fine. Let’s head home then, yeah? We got a lot done today.”

Once Toya shakily picks up his dropped bag, their hands intertwine once more, and they stroll in the opposite direction. The golden sun casts long shadows ahead of them, so Toya almost misses the silhouette of a black cat sitting on the side of the pavement. It swishes its tail and stares up at Toya innocently. He’s seen it before… but where?

Akito catches sight of it too. He lets go of Toya’s hand to pet it, a serene smile on his face. 

“Toya, look. What a cute little kitty.”