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Tommy and Tubbo were strolling down the street, the kind of a walk where time was not even measured and the destination did not matter to them. It was one of those days where the sky could not decide if it wanted to be bright or gloomy. They were in the middle of a conversation about the best way to fold a metal pipe when they came across a minor car accident. A small sedan had rear-ended an SUV at the traffic light, and the drivers there were out of their vehicles, arguing.
Tommy slowed down, his eyes lighting up with interest. "You know what, Toby? This one is just like a live performance. Like a stage play or something," he said, nudging Tubbo. "Both of them thinking they are right, just clashing like titans, over probably something tiny. Like a quantum."
Tubbo titled his head, watching the scene. "Yeah, this is basically watching two fish in a tank bump into the glass and blame each other for it. Neither one's going anywhere, but you know, they will keep smacking into that invisible wall like it's personal. Like come on, chill."
Tommy chuckled. "Exactly! The cars are just extensions of them now. It is not even about the accident that happened to them anymore. It is like, I don't know, their souls are locked in an asylum. Whoever admits fault first, one of them will loses a part of themselves." He looked at the SUV driver, who was waving their arms wildly, and nodded sagely. "That guy over there? He is just basically not giving in, man. Not today. You know, he is basically very similar to an oak tree, standing firm while the wind tries to knock him over."
Tubbo crossed his arms, considering the situation. "And that sedan driver over there? Total willow tree. Flexible, but you can really tell they are bending just to avoid snapping. It is all about survival at this point."
Tommy snorted. "You are right, dude. But imagine this, if all conflicts were this simple. Just two trees waving branches at each other, and whoever's left standing gets to go home with their dignity intact."
"People are just like moths to a flame when something like this happens, aren't they? Can't help but gather around like it is some kind of free entertainment for people all over the world." He looked over at Tommy. "But uh, you know, we are just as bad, standing here making metaphors about trees and fish."
Tommy grinned. "Guilty as charged, blah blah blah. But hey, at least we are not recording it like half these people. We are basically observing with, uh, I don't know, artistic integrity, I guess." He scratched his head. "Besides, we should probably bail before we become part of the spectacle. This feels like one of those situations where someone eventually asks if anyone saw what happened, and I do not want to get dragged into that kind of shit."
Tubbo nodded. "Yeah, let's just get out of here before we're stuck here. Where should we go?" He gave Tommy a curious look.
"I don't know about you, but I am very hungry right now," Tommy said, rubbing his stomach. "I need food to recharge after all that happened. How about we grab something to eat?"
"Sounds good. Where, though?"
Tommy scanned the nearby shops and pointed to a small diner a block down the road with a neon sign that read 'Best Burgers in Town'. "That looks promising, I think. I mean, it's making a pretty bold claim. so we might as well see if it lives up to the hype. Worst-case scenario, we'll probably have something new to complain about."
"Best burgers in town, huh?" Tubbo squinted at the sign. "That's like, you know, every place that says 'world's best coffee'. It is a nice thought, but uh, is anyone actually measuring these things? There should be a council of burger judges, if you ask me."
Tommy chuckled as they made their way to the diner. "Burger judges, basically a secret society of people who travel the world in search of the ultimate patties. I bet they wear capes and have badges with burger symbols on them. The 'Order of the Bun', that is what exactly I would name them."
Tubbo could not help but grin. "The 'Order of the Bun,' led by the Grandmaster of Grilled Beef. They taste a burger and go 'this is worthy', or 'this burger has dishonored us all.' "
The two of them laughed hysterically, opening the door to the diner and taking a step inside. It was a cozy place, with checkered floors and the smell of sizzling meat in the air. They found a booth by the window and sat down and grabbed the menus.
Tommy glanced over at Tubbo. "So buddy, what's the call, huh? Are we going to challenge the best burger claim, or should we be more modest and other something else?"
Tubbo raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, we are absolutely going for it. We did not come with a long walk just to play it safe. We are taking them up on their boldness. If it is the best burger in town, we are absolutely going to find out."
Tommy leaned forward with a grin. "Alright buddy, but we need to judge it extremely fairly. Let's just not go off taste. Let's assess everything like an exam paper; the presentation, the texture, the juiciness, and last but not least, the structural integrity of the bun. We are basically the burger judges now. The Order of the Bun lives on through us."
Tubbo snorted, flipping through the menu. "And I take my burger-judging duties very seriously as a Prime Minister would do, thank you very much. Let's just hope this place does not let us down , like the 6 foot underground or something like that."
When the waitress came over, they both confidently ordered the diner's signature burgers. After she left, Tommy leaned back in his seat and looked out the window.
"You know what?" he said, "There's something about a diner like this that feels timeless for some reason. I don't know, it's like a little slice of the universe where nothing really changes, to be honest. People come in, they eat, they leave, and the world keeps turning outside. But in here? It's like a safe haven. No arguments and no car accidents. Just food and comfort."
Tubbo nodded, resting his arms on the table. "Yeah. It is basically like those diners you see in old movies, a place where people come to escape for a while. It is kind of nice, honestly. It's like stepping out of reality and into a bubble where things are simpler than it used to."
After a while, their food arrived, and the burgers were placed in front of them with a flourish. Tommy inspected his burger carefully. "Alright, Toby Smith. Let the judging begin," he said, taking his first bite. He chewed slowly, savoring the flavors before speaking. "This burger is good. But is it the 'best'? I am not 100% sure about that."
Tubbo took a bite of his own, nodding as he thought it over. "It's solid. Definitely better than most burgers I've had. But is it the best in this town? That is quite a big claim to make, to be honest. It is basically saying you are the sun when really, you are just a very bright star. Still impressive, but not on that level."
Tommy wiped his mouth with his hand, smiling. "This burger's more like the moon to me. Shines bright at night, but we all know it is just reflecting the light from something that is bigger." He took another bite, clearly enjoying it despite his philosophical opinions, "Still, I'd give it an eight out of ten, buddy. Points for effort and the fries are pulling their weight."
Tubbo nodded. "The fries are definitely the unsung heroes here. They are like the sidekick that quietly saves the day while the main character is busy getting all the attention. To be honest, they deserve more credit."
They continued eating silently for a while before Tommy spoke up again. "You know what? This whole thing; witnessing the accident, then coming here for food, it is like life just throwing random shits at us. One minute, we were watching people argue over a car crash, and the next that flashed before our eyes, we are in a diner having an existential conversation about burgers. It is kind of beautiful in a weird way."
Tubbo smiled faintly, leaning back in his seat. "Yeah, it's like life is just one major series of random moments that are strung together. And here we are, making sense of it the best way we know how by turning it all into jokes and metaphors. But you know, I would not have it any other way."
Tommy laughed, finishing off the last of his fries. "Me neither, bro. It is like, I don't know, we're just riding the wave and seeing where it takes us. Maybe that accident back there was like a pebble dropping in the water, and this burger is the ripple."
Tubbo grinned. "And who knows where the next ripple will lead us to? Maybe tomorrow we will be sitting on a bench while watching a pigeon steal someone's sandwich, and that will spark another deep conversation about the meaning of our lives."
Tommy raised his drink in a mock toast. "To pebbles and ripples. May they keep us entertained forever."
Tubbo clinked his glass against Tommy's. "To pebbles and ripples."
And with that, they paid their bill, left the diner, and wandered off into the evening.