Archive of Our Own ^beta

The sting that typically came with consuming alcohol had long since stopped bothering Latias as she sat at the table, the only sound penetrating the silence being the steady ticking of the clock and the soft music playing from her earbuds. Her golden eyes traced the contours of the bottle, noting with mild annoyance that the once-full container was already halfway empty. 

I’m getting almost as bad as Petrovic, she thought dryly through the haze of her mind. She was half tempted to blame the man for her current condition, although she knew she had no one to blame but herself.

You knew it was a one-time thing when you woke up that morning, and yet you sit there and drink yourself away, a voice jeered in her mind, making Latias grit her teeth as she took another drink. Her lack of response was an unwelcome invitation for the voice to continue mocking her.

Does Ash know you poison yourself every night? Has he seen your longing gazes you give him whenever you think he’s distracted? Does he even notice your lingering touches?

“Shut up,” she finally growled, forcing down another sip.

I wonder if he wishes it had been Anabel that had warmed his bed that night-

“SHUT UP-”

“Latias..?”

The guarded voice made her flinch, the bottle in her clawed hands spilling some of its precious contents as she whipped her head around to find the lilac-haired woman staring at her from the hallway. The two stared at one another before Latias turned away, muttering an apology, “Didn’t mean to wake you. Sorry.”

Latias heard the woman slowly approach until she entered her line of sight, drawing a chair and sitting down by her side. “Rough night?” Anabel questioned, her tone not unkind.

She stared at the bottle in front of her and replied miserably, “Something like that, yeah.” She didn’t offer much beyond that, the pitifully small sober part of her mind feeling wary about talking to one of the sources of her woes.

Anabel didn’t reply for a few minutes, seemingly gathering her thoughts. Then she spoke. “You know, when I first met Ash, he was being chased by a  Beedrill after getting too close to its home.”

Latias felt a small bubble of amusement and affection bubble in her chest; that sounded exactly like the kind of mess he would get into.

“Then, just minutes after, we were attacked by some thugs. They were attempting to steal his Pokemon, and he took an attack meant for Pikachu,” Anabel continued softly, the words making Latias feel warmer.

“He did the same thing for me, one time,” She whispered fondly, closing her eyes as she thought back. “Two women were trying to get me. One ordered her Pokemon, an Espeon, to use psychic. He put himself between it and myself. We hadn’t even properly met, and yet he just shielded me without hesitation.” 

“I can hardly say I’m surprised. He cares so much about the people around him, whether it be human or Pokemon…which is why I’m sure he’d be horrified to see you like this,” Anabel gently chastised, gesturing her hand at the bottle.

Her hackles started to rise as she prepared to snap back, only for her to slump down, not having the energy to wipe away the tear that slid its way down her cheek. “Yeah,” she whispered, staring at her sorry reflection in the glass. “He probably would be.” She wasn’t sure if she should be glad or disappointed that Ash noticed anything off about her.

Anabel leaned in, cocking her head as she asked, “Then…why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

The question made Latias flinch, looking away as she spluttered, “I…I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Her denial merely made Anabel sigh and shake her head.

“Latias…” she began with a careful tone, “Do you know how I knew what you and Ash did that night?”

Shame and guilt permeated her hide as she stared holes into the table, refusing to reply as she avoided Anabel’s eyes. Unfortunately, her rather lack of response didn’t deter the empath as she pressed on.

“I was in bed, reading a book, when…when I started experiencing emotions that didn’t quite match what I was reading. Needless to say, I was rather confused,” Anabel confessed, laughing quietly. “It took a few moments to figure out that those emotions were external, but I still had no idea who was generating such strong feelings, and why. That is, until I realized it wasn’t just one, but two people.”

Latias listened quietly, guarded but curious as to what Anabel was getting at.

“It took a few more minutes before I decided that I should get to my book, but…it was pretty hard to ignore.” Her words made Latias’ cheeks sting with embarrassment and shame at the woman’s words. “I’m not sure I’ve felt something quite that strong, ever.”

Her feathered head ducked low, her emotions being stained further with pain and deep affection for the raven-haired agent. “I…I might feel something for him,” she slowly admitted. “How could I not? But..it’s just…”

She paused, trying to hold back her grief until it became too much, and a torrent of words escaped her.

“Every time we touch, every time he even looks at me…. It’s like my blood ignites. I feel so alive, and it’s like all my troubles just…go away,” Latias’ words were coming out in sobs, feeling her chest tighten. “I know he doesn’t mean to do this to me. I don’t mean to feel that way, either. But it feels like…like I’m being led on. I know that’s stupid, but it…it hurts, so, so much.”

Anabel was listening attentively, letting her ramble without interruption.

“Even after what I did, he still considers me a friend…and part of me doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Part of me wants more of what we shared, and I….” She trailed off as she broke down, only vaguely aware of Anabel leaning forward and placing a hand on her back, the touch bringing a modicum comfort to the dragoness.

The two sat together without a word as Latias did her best to bring herself together. She couldn’t say how long it took until she could continue. Her tone was bitter when she was finally able to continue, “...I sit out here, drinking this stupid crap, just so he doesn’t hear me cry myself to sleep. My heart is tearing itself to pieces, and I can’t even tell him why. He’s content to remain as friends, but I’m afraid the moment I tell him about this,” she waved her hand at the bottle, pressing on, “he’ll put himself into a position where he feels the need to make me happy, even at the cost of his own comfort.”

“That’s…not entirely wrong,” Anabel admitted with a small huff of amusement. “He does have that habit, doesn’t he? But,” she stressed, staring into Latias’ eyes, “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to him. He will feel a whole lot more upset if you let this fester longer than it already has, and you know Looker won’t let you hear the end of it if he finds out about this.”

As the dragoness sat there considering her words, the empath gently continued, “Plus, I’ll stand by you if, when, you do. If you want that, at least.”

A flood of gratitude filled Latias as she heard that, and she nodded in reply. “Thank you, she telepathically whispered. “I…I think I’ll take you up on that.”

She was about to lift the bottle again, only for Anabel to lay a hand on her arm with a firm expression, the woman pressing, “But you’ve also got to stop drinking. I don’t know if you have an extra strong liver, being a Legend, but I’m not keen for you to test its limits.”

“...Fine,” Latias acquiesced glumly, setting the bottle down and pushing it over to the woman, who picked it up and inspected it with a disgusted expression.

“Ugh, did you steal this from Pet’s collection? No wonder you look terrible,” Anabel joked as she set it aside, prompting Latias to laugh.

The room was silent for a few minutes, before Anabel patted her on the back. “How about you go to sleep, hm? We can talk a little more in the morning.”

Latias barely had the chance to thank her before the woman vanished back into her room. The dragoness took one last look at the bottle, giving it a few moments of thought before she got up and unsteadily flew back to Ash’s room, the glass and spilled alcohol the only signs of her presence.