Chapter Text

 It's hard to tell what time is outside when your room has no windows and is in a subterranean bunker. But Dean had a good internal clock that woke him up everyday around the same time, a little past eight. 

 He slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times. His left arm was numb. Taking a glance to his side, Dean was welcomed with the vision of Cas snuggled next to him, head on his chest, body over his arm. The angel hair was a complete mess and he slept peacefully. Dean used his free hand to let his fingers comb that wild black hair. Waking up next to Cas never feels old. It's just right. He even bought a king size bed that was almost too big for his room so both of them could have plenty of space. And still, they just spend the night glued to each other anyway. 

 Thanks to an old foe and a certain ritual, they were bonded for eternity. His soul and Cas' grace were forever linked, allowing Cas to regrow his wings and get his original mojo back. But it also gave them some interesting side effects. Dean could see Cas' majestic wings and, well, any other angel wings too. But the biggest side effects were being able to hear each other's thoughts and feel each other's emotions. Cas panicked so hard he confessed his feelings for the hunter, which led them to start dating. They had a rocky start, between the mingled thoughts and Cas heightened emotions than normal thanks to Dean's soul. But the bond eventually stabilized and they didn't have to worry about hearing each other's thoughts all the time. In fact they even learned to communicate without needing to use words. Feeling whatever the other was feeling was tricker to ignore. 

 After a few minutes of lying lazily in bed, Cas moved slightly. First he snuggled closer to Dean, then sighted. They stayed in silence for a moment longer; Dean wanted to enjoy the peace. The world hasn't been ending for a while. No one had released some old evil either. And no one was dying . It was just a few hunts here and there, and training Claire, Charlie and Cas as hunters. The Winchester's life had not been this 'normal' for so long that it felt odd. Like at any second some category five world altering event was bound to happen. So yes, he did enjoy just lying in bed with the love of his life for as long as he can. 

“Morning sunshine,” said Dean cheerfully after enough time had passed. “May I get my arm back?”

 Cas' head rose from his resting place, confused. Then he looked down and rolled away from Dean's embrace. Though he mourned the loss of Cas' heat, he was glad to start feeling his arm again. Dean was sure he heard Cas muttering 'sorry' under his breath but he apologized so damn much Dean just ignored the word half the time. 

 He sat up in bed at the same time as Cas. The angel shook his big black wings and some feathers fell. One of them flew until it landed in the bed in front of him. A very healthy black feather too. He always thanked their profound bond for being able to see Cas' stunning black wings that reflected rainbows when the light hit them in the right angle. It was equally beautiful and fascinating. 

 Angels don't need to sleep. And usually Cas either watches Dean sleep (not creepy), reads a book or meditates. But in the last few weeks Dean caught him dozing off during the day and actually sleeping during the night. If it was only once or twice it would be okay, he could be tired. But he was sleeping every day. And then his feathers started to fall too. Something was up.

“So Cas, what's up with the feathers?” Dean grabbed the one in front of him. In his ignorant vision, it was flawless. Cas' wings had healed completely after they bonded and his soul was linked to Cas' grace. Seeing the feathers falling after so long felt wrong. 

 Cas looked at his wings. He passed a hand through his right wing, feeling it while humming to himself. 

“Maybe I'm starting to molt. Been a while.”

“I thought you said angels only molt like once per decade?” Cas nodded. “Those feathers are new, should you be molting at all?”

“Hm,” he tilted his head and glared at his fallen feathers. “They are supposed to fall in pairs during molt too.”

“So. It’s not that?”

“I'll have to wait it out, I feel normal,” Cas shrugged and left the bed. Walking to their shared wardrobe, he opened it and started to run his hand through Dean's clothes. As if he didn't have his own clothes.

 Since Cas didn't look too worried, Dean decided to relax. He was probably overthinking since it's been over a year since the last big event in his life and normally those events like to hit him after roughly a year. Still, it was too early for that shit. Shaking his head, Dean joined his boyfriend. Cas stole both his black Metallica shirt and one of his black and white flannels. At least the angel had the decency to pick his own pants and shoes. Wanting to look vaguely different, Dean picked a plain reddish shirt and a green jacket, a pair of ragged jeans and black boots. And damn, his clothes did look nice on Cas. The old black shirt fitted him well and the flannel just accentuated his muscles. Even after being together for over a year, Dean still caught himself staring at the beauty that was Cas often and feeling like the luckiest man in the world. 

“What?” Cas asked with a timid smile and Dean just noticed he was staring. Again.

“You,” he said bashfully. “Just… You.”

 Cas laughed, a beautiful sound, just like the rest of him. Beautiful inside and out. He stepped closer and kissed Dean. A slow and soft kiss, tasting like the promise of more later. The man sighed when his angel moved away. “Let's go, I'm starving.” 

“Sure,” Dean smiled. 

 It was only when they arrived at the bathroom that Dean fully processed those words. Starving… But he doesn't need to eat? He wondered in his mind. Still, he kept quiet and decided it was probably just a joke or maybe an allusion to himself. After all, the only one who was famous to be a glutton was Dean Winchester. 

 At the kitchen they found Sam with a full breakfast table ready. Unsurprising since Sam loved to wake up at the crack of dawn to run and often left breakfast done for them. Well, for Dean. Usually. As soon as Cas sat on the table he started to taste everything . Sam and Cas quickly started to joke and talk as Dean moved away to fill a huge mug with coffee. Cas only drinks or eats to keep them company or to keep appearances in public. He never eats like that . What the fuck was happening? When Dean joined them at the table, Cas had eaten a sandwich, toasts and some leftover pie from yesterday. Sensing a worried glare at his brother, Dean saw the exact moment Sam's expression twisted in confusion. 

“Hum… Everything okay, buddy?” Tried Sam.

“Yes, sure,” Cas shrugged. “It's just…” he stopped, munching on the apple pie now. “Nothing tastes right.”

“Like molecules, right?” Remembered Dean.

“The wrong molecules,” said Cas looking around the food with a frown, which neither brother could understand. “Say Dean, can we go out to eat something different?” He asked on a more cheerful note. 

“You don't eat,” he raised an eyebrow. 

“True. But I feel like eating today,” and, oh, by the Hells, Cas was so cute, blinking at Dean with his big blue eyes. He felt a sting of pain in his chest, Cas was pulling at their soul-grace bond, the bastard. He didn't even need to since Dean found it too hard to deny him anything. 

“Sure, buddy,” he forced himself to smile, despite his worry. “Do we need anything, Sam?”

“No, I did some grocery shopping yesterday, we are good.” Dean nodded and started to leave with Cas when Sam called them. “Eileen is coming today. So…” he trailed off and started to blush. “If you guys want to, I don't know, go on a date around the city-”

“You want some alone time with Eileen, got it,” Dean winked and gave his brother a thumbs up. “Use protection.”

“Dean!” Sam yelled, seeing the duo rushing out of the kitchen, Dean dragging a confused Cas with him. 

 The scene in front of him reminded him a lot of the horseman of the apocalypse Famine. After riding in Baby around all Lebanon after already stopping at three different fast foods and two restaurants, they finally stayed a little longer in a fish themed buffet. Their table was full of half eaten plates, each one with a different seafood. Dean had some pie and snacks three restaurants ago and he was actually feeling satisfied for once. But his angel was acting so strange he was only becoming even more worried with time.

“Ah, yes, this is what I wanted,” sang Cas happily, devouring some fish. 

“That's great,” muttered Dean, watching the fish disappear. He tentatively grabbed a fork and got a little of the fish to taste. He had no idea of which fish it was. Exotic and from a river, that's all he knew. He chewed the fish, wanting to know what was so special about it that was making his angel go crazy but he frowned at the fish. “This tastes like dirty, Cas.”

 Cas just glared at him for a total of three seconds. 

“More for me,” he said, leaving only the bones. 

 In the end, he ate another fish before telling Dean he was finally satisfied. If his card wasn't hacked, he was afraid of how much this little adventure would have cost him. 

Sam wanted to be alone with Eileen, and who was Dean to get in the way of their love? So he drove them both around the city, wondering what they could do. Cas started to act less weird and just told him to pull up at a mall or something where they could kill some time. 

 Last time they went to a mall was to buy Cas clothes and a new bed for them. It was nice and was pleasantly empty since it was so early on a weekday. The couple walked aimlessly, Cas waving at all the kids and animals he saw. Eventually, they found the movie theater and Dean smiled. They hardly had time to go to a theater and since Cas liked television so much, he also loved seeing movies at the theater. Dean let the angel pick the movie, it was some generic action movie with the most generic white savior hero. But he bit his tongue and didn't complain. At least it was not some cheesy romance. If only they had some western passing…

 Unsurprisingly for that odd day, Cas ate half of the popcorn he bought for them. Never once did the angel demonstrate a liking for popcorn before. Dean did try to be suave and put his arm around Cas' shoulders and snuggled closer, but Cas' was just extremely into the movie. His blue eyes were focusing on every detail, every bit of dialogue. His mouth even hung open for some time. It was adorable, seeing his wonder for movies. At least the loud explosions and car chases didn't let him be fully bored. 

 When the movie ended, Cas wanted to see the food court and Dean almost questioned what was wrong with him. But, he took a deep breath and tried to remember no one yelled at him for eating non stop before. Once again, Cas bought five different snacks because nothing tasted "right". What made him calm down was the most sugary filled donut Dean saw in his life. Meanwhile he had some crepes, which Cas thought were nice but bland. The choice of word was weird since Dean thought everything tasted bland to him before. 

“You know you can tell me everything, right?” Said Dean once they were seated back in the Impala. Cas stared at him, squinting his eyes while munching on a bag of assorted candy he bought. 

“I know.”

“We are way past secrets,” Dean continued, voiced even, not angry, just trying to understand. “If there's something bothering you, just tell me, Cas. Please.”

“There is nothing,” he shook his head, squinting his eyes, still confused.

“It’s just…” he left his keys on Baby but didn't start the car. “The sleeping, the eating… None of this is stuff you do and I'm worried,” he gulped, listing the possibilities inside of his head. “That you are falling or something,” again .

 That made Cas' eyes widen.

“I'm not falling. I would know,” he said emphatically. “Dean, I legit don't know what made me so hungry today but I don't think I'm suddenly turning more human or something.”

“Really?” He wondered while raising an eyebrow. Hearing Cas using legit was also not in his bingo for that apparently normal morning too. “Is it the bond?” The other possibilities would be a curse, but they haven't left the bunker in days and haven't faced a witch in months, so it must be the Bond. They had been able to hear each other's thoughts and feel their feelings so strongly in the first few days that Cas was left with more human emotions than normal. However, that tumultus period was over after a month and neither of them were changed. Dean vaguely remembered Cas saying something about possibly having more human emotions and needs, but it's been over a year for it to suddenly act up.

“Maybe. We are very close.”

“I don't feel any more angelic.”

 Cas laughed. At least his oddness left him in good humor. And he wasn't hyperfixating over bees. 

“I can't imagine you being 'angelic'”, he giggled, doing the air quotes. “I'm fine, Dean, if I start feeling something else I'll tell you immediately.”

 Dean knew it was cheating but he searched for his bond. His chest felt warmer and he could see nothing but sincerity in Cas' eyes. 

“Okay,” he turned the car on. If Cas didn't know either then he didn't know. Maybe it was just the molting process starting and he's overthinking as usual. All of his protective instincts were yelling at him to make sure Cas is alright, just like when he was stressing over Sam since his brother was a baby. 

 The drive back home was slow. The sunset had painted the sky in yellow, blue and orange in a gorgeous ombre. Dean stopped the car for a few minutes so they could enjoy the beautiful scene. Neither of them were in a hurry. Cas didn't ask for pizza but Dean felt the need to buy some anyway. 

 Back at the bunker, Dean left the pizzas in the kitchen and walked around, Cas following him like a shadow. It was very silent and Sam's room was empty. They found Sam and Eileen sleeping in the library, the two nerds. Eillen was with a book over her chest, sleeping in a chair. Sam was drooling over the table, a pile of books right beside his head. Smiling, Dean signed for Cas to leave them be and follow him. The couple made their way to the Dean Cave. Dean sent a message to Sam's phone and put The Good, The Bad and the Ugly to play. Cas picked a movie at the theater and now he gets to pick one too. Best of both worlds. Cas didn't complain about anything and they watched the movie in silence. 

 From time to time, Dean would explain something or share a fun fact about the movie with Cas. Other times he just spoke his favorite lines with the characters. Cas always gave him more attention that he deserved. Around the middle of the movie, he caught the angel with a very serious expression. He wasn't even watching the movie, his eyes were simply on the tv. Dean figured he was just bored since it wasn't the first time he made Cas see the movie and ignored it. However, not ten minutes passed and he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen. As soon as it came, it vanished. 

“Dean,” called Cas. He recognized the pain in his voice and went full alarm mode. “I'm not feeling well.”

“What's wrong?” In a second, Dean had left his chair and was now touching Cas' shoulders, hovering over him. Though the pain he felt was gone, he could feel a sense of uneasiness coming from the bond. 

 Cas held his belly with both arms and looked down.

“I feel pain in my stomach and I'm nauseated.”

“Of course your stomach hurts, do you know how much you ate today?” His voice came off hashier than he wanted. “Do you feel like throwing up?” he asked, more gently. 

“I don't- Actually, yes.”

“Damn, Cas. Let's get you to the bathroom then.”

 Dean helped Cas stand and guided him through the corridors. Once again he saw no sign of life from either Sam or Eileen and just supposed they were having a great time. One thing was right, Cas was really suffering with his nausea because Dean was starting to feel it too. When they took a turn in the bathroom corridor, Cas gripped Dean's hand so hard he was afraid the angel was going to break his bones. He increased his pace but they weren't fast enough. As soon as Cas stepped into the bathroom he vomited all over the entrance. Dean could do nothing but watch and hold him straight. He vomited once, for a minute, then breathed and coughed a few times, only to vomit more, this time way less. Dean sighed once Cas was done, looking at all the mess.

 Carefully, Dean moved Cas to one of the showers and left him sitting there. He opened the running water, left it warm then started to take off Cas' dirty clothes. The angel was left with his shirt and boxes. Cas rested his head over the wall and breathed slowly by his mouth. Once he was calmer and Dean wasn't feeling his pain anymore, he left to clean the bathroom. Lucky, he was a lazy bastard and had left all the cleaning supplies in the bathroom on the previous day. Dean cleaned all the vomit as fast as he could, trying to ignore the foul smell. He found Cas in the same place under the shower, steam coming off. The water was scalding hot and Cas was getting red. Dean quickly turned off the water. 

“Holy shit, Cas, what the hell got to you today?”

 Despite his words, Dean grabbed a gray robe and handed it to Cas. The angel merely opened his eyes, his expression tired, and started to strip. Dean helped him stand again and got him covered with the bathrobe, not caring about getting wet in the process. Only then, Dean started to take off his dirty clothes too. His jacket and pants were thrown over a sink. Dean was considering taking a bath right away when he catched Cas staring at him. 

“Are you feeling anything now?”

“From the bond?” Cas nodded. “Not really, just a bit of your nausea.”

“I… see,” Cas looked down and walked around, hugging his belly again. 

“Why? Should I be feeling something?” Said Dean, curious, as Cas walked in circles in front of the sinks.

“No, not really.”

 Dean sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He took off his remaining clothes to take a quick shower. Feeling clean again, Dean wrapped himself in a towel and walked to his fidgeting angel, who was not looking at him, but down at his feet. 

“What's the matter now?” The man waited a few seconds but got no answer. “Cas, can you please tell me what this is about?”

“You won't like it,” said Cas with his back to Dean.

“You know what I don't like, Cas? Secrets, lies, betrayal.”

“I would never-” and Cas was spinning towards Dean.

“I know,” said Dean in a calmer tone. “Now spit it out.”

“I don't have anything to spit,” he tilted his head.

“It’s  a saying! Come on, you heard that before! Just tell me what's wrong with you,” said Dean exasperated. Honestly, he was starting to lose his patience. He didn’t want to wander into his angel's head to find out what Cas was hiding. They had made an agreement a year ago, when the bond finally became stable, to not spy on each other’s thoughts willingly. 

 Cas stared into his eyes. Something heavy fell on his chest. Dean could feel the angst, the fear in his partner's eyes. Cas took a deep breath and hugged himself tighter.

“I am what you humans would call… pregnant.”

  Dean blinked. Clearly he didn't hear that right. It was impossible.

“I'm sorry, what?”

“Dean,” Cas stepped closer, into his personal space, which he constantly invaded for no reason, and they stared at each other, breathing the same air. Cas' lips were trembling. “I am pregnant with your child.”

  There it was, thought Dean, the world ending event. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

  After Cas passed out in bed, Dean laid awake well into the night. Earth shattering news with zero explanations does that to a man. Cas stayed nauseous and grunting. Since they had no medicine for… whatever he had, Cas flew to collect some herbs and made a strong tea for himself. Only after drinking the tea did the angel start to feel better. Then he eventually fell asleep while laying down in their bed with Dean. 

 During a midnight snack run, Dean met his brother in the corridors but they barely talked to each other. The only thing he knew was that Eileen spent the night with his brother and honestly he didn't need nor want to know more. Eileen is a great woman and hunter and she makes Sam happy, that’s enough for him. Besides, he had a bigger problem plaguing his mind.

 At some point the sleep must have won over Dean, since he jolted awake when Cas rolled off his body. One of his wings brushed over his face, the soft feathers tickled his skin. On any other day it would be nice. Today Dean barely registered the touch. He sat down on the bed and watched the angel move slowly. For a minute, they only stared back at each other, faces swollen with sleep and tiredness. Cas' wing moved closer to his body than normal, in a protective manner. Dean pretended not to notice. 

“Morning Cas,” he greeted carefully, “anything to tell me?”

“Sorry.” He figured that's how it was going to start. Dean couldn't even roll his eyes. 'Sorry' was Cas' favorite word. “I should have noticed before but with the bond, I can feel a human soul inside of me at all times, I failed to notice another soul growing inside of me. I also didn't know it could happen between an angel and a human in a way like this. I swear I would have alerted you if I knew,” he said everything at once, word after word, with no break. 

“Cas, first can we talk about the fact you are pre- preg-,” he shuttered, not being able to say it out loud. “We are both men! How is that possible?!” He said instead, his curiosity and panic getting the best of him.

“I am genderless,” Cas corrected, way too casually. “Any two angels can conceive another angel if they both consent to. The new angel will grow his grace inside the body of the one of the angels until it's matured enough to be born,” Dean nodded to his words, trying to be more patient. He knew how Cas loved to give full explanations about everything. “This is basically an angel pregnancy. Normally a female human would be pregnant by an angel the human way, thanks to intercourse, and produce a offspring. My angel pregnancy wouldn’t even require intercourse, the bond between us was enough for it.”

“Are you saying- that even if we never had sex-”

“This could happen, yes,” he said bluntly. “So forgive me if I didn't think it would happen between us since you're a male human and I'm in a male vessel but it seems like I underestimated our bond. It was strong enough to defy biology.”

“Right. Profound bond and all…” for a moment he didn’t know how to progress the conversation, too much information already spinning around his head. They had that deep bond, connecting them, and also had tons of sex. Looks like at some point their subconscious or whatever decided a baby would be nice then boom baby happened. “So, our kid is… inside of you?” He stared intensely at Cas’ belly, it was still flat and muscular as always. 

“Correct.”

“And this kid is like…?”

“Is a nephilim,” Cas sighed, shoulders and wings dropping. “Their soul has grace mixed with it.”

“You say it like it's a bad thing.”

“It… is,” his eyes dropped to his hands. “They are powerful, can become as powerful as archangels once they grow, and forbidden by God. Any angel's first instinct would have been to slay it.”

“Great, they aren't even born yet and already have a target over their head!” Dean complained loudly, then sighed. Yelling at Cas wouldn't change anything. Dean passed his hands through his hair and face, trying to calm down. His brain was racing. There was a baby inside of Cas, holy Hell. They were going to be fathers of a nephilim and it was apparently super bad by the laws of God. Of course God would be screwing over them and making them suffer, why would Dean ever have some peace, after all. Could it even be any worse?

“Please tell me it's just one kid,” the hunter said suddenly. The only thing that could make everything worse is if Cas was expecting twins.

“It is.”

“Are you sure, sure, there is only one?” he insisted. “You aren’t going to give birth to twins and act surprised, right?”

“I can feel my child’s soul now, Dean,” said Cas impatiently. “It's just one child.”

“Okay, great, wonderful,” the man said dispiritedly. “What do we do, Cas?” His voice edged on desperation. Dean never wanted to be a father but now he had no choice. 

“I think it would be wise to inform Sam as well,” Dean made a muffled sound of agreement and they stayed silent for a minute, Dean trying to not spiral into full blown panic and Cas staring wordless at his lap. “Unless you want me to get rid of them.”

“What?” Dean shifted towards him so fast he felt dizzy. Cas wasn't meeting his eyes yet. “Like, aborting the baby?” It was baffling even saying it. Considering it. Cas only nodded. “No! Just, no . It ain't the kid's fault. Don't even suggest it again.”

“Okay,” said Cas quietly, visibly relaxing. His wings spread around and he finally left the bed.

 They get ready for their day in silence. Dean grabbed a coat and Cas his trench coat. Dean made a quick stop by the bathroom, Cas wanting outside. Even though Dean couldn't feel anything but anxiety on the pity of his stomach, either from him, Cas or both, he asked if the angel was feeling well. The angel nodded, he wasn't hungry or nauseous like the previous day.

 Before the couple reached the kitchen, they heard the sound of laughs. Dean swallowed, already feeling regret for ending his brother's and Eileen good morning. Inside the kitchen, the human couple (they were together by now, aren't they?) was laughing over their coffee and pancakes. Both stopped to greet Dean and Cas but their smiles soon faded when they took in their serious faces. Dean let Cas tell them the news, feeling too sick on his stomach to speak or eat. He filled a mug with coffee, but barely took a sip. Sam and Eileen listen attentively to Cas' explanations. 

“So, you and Dean are having a kid?” said Sam, still perplexed.

“Correct.”

“I'm going to be an uncle…” was his first reaction. 

 And then they were silent. Dean drank more of his coffee. He was going to be a father. An actual father , not just taking care of someone's child like it was his own. And it was Cas kid as well. Their kid. He cannot fuck this over, for both the kid and Cas, they don't deserve it. They deserve someone better than his father ever was. 

“I'm sorry but… How is the child ever going to be born again?” Asked Eileen, looking at Cas. She started to move her hands, signing something Dean didn't understand. “I mean, how are they getting out?”  

 That's something Dean wanted to ask too but was too ashamed. 

“Yeah, how is that going to be?” he chimed in. “Is it going to be like the Alien?” And Dean made the movement of his hand getting out of his chest and even hissed. 

 Cas opened his mouth to speak, but closed it right after. Then he pondered the question for a moment.

“Actually, that's a very accurate representation of the childbirth.”

“Wait, you serious?” Asked Sam, the resident nerd. 

“Normally the bonded angel parent will reach inside the body or vessel of the pregnant angel and take out the newborn when the time is right. It's said to be quite a painful procedure since the presence of another creature inside an angel's body can be damaging to their body. As of right now, the baby is a ball of soul and grace, but they will form a body once they are born into the outside world. That's why I didn't look pregnant.”

“So they don't even have a gender now?” 

“No. When the kid is born, they'll instinctively pick a form.”

 Sam nodded invested. The baby’s gender was legit the last thing Dean was worried about. Boy or girl, Dean will love them equally.

“Can Dean do it?”

“No, he isn't an angel,” and Cas' face slowly fell. 

“Do you have any angel friends that can help you during childbirth?” Asked Eileen worried. Dean gulped and stared at Cas. 

 The angel hesitated.

“There is Hannah, but…” he paused, looking down at the table. “Normally any angel would be honored to help. But I'm carrying a nephilim, a child forbidden by Heaven. Any angel would simply kill my child the second they are born or, most likely, kill me and the baby.”

“Well, angels are out then,” exclaimed Dean like it's final. 

“I can probably do it myself,” said Cas, flatting his wings confidently. 

“Have you ever done that before with another angel?” Said Sam with an eyebrow raised. “Or even watched it?”

“No…” he looked away, “angels rarely reproduce like this. But I can only guess after everything that happened with Heaven and our decreasing numbers that it must have become more common.”

“How can you know then-”

“We'll figure something out,” said Dean, cutting off that train of thoughts from his brother. The last thing he needed now was being afraid Cas wouldn't survive the birth of their child. “We have time.”

“Uh…” Cas looked away, wings falling away behind himself defeated. Dean eyed him suspiciously.

“What?” 

“To be honest…”

“Cas,” called Sam, more worried.

“Angels don't have pregnancy symptoms,” Cas hurried, fidgeting with his hands over the table. “Like I said, the new soul grew discreetly, I couldn't tell it apart from Dean’s soul because his presence greatly overshadowed the new soul. The only reason I'm having pregnancy symptoms like humans is because my child is half human. And if I'm having them at all it is because the soul has matured enough to yearn for a form...”

“So,” Dean pressed the second Cas hesitated again. His heart started to beat faster despite his calm exterior.

“So,” Cas took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling. “I'm probably close.”

“Close?” Repeated Sam, eyes widened. Eileen's mouth dropped open.

“ How close?” Asked Dean, quickly losing all of his cool. 

“Time passes different in Heaven-”

“Then make an estimation!” 

 Dean truly didn't mean to yell, but he did and regretted it when he saw Cas cower into himself, his wings wrapping around him. He cursed himself, inside his head. Cas murmured some things in enochian under his breath.

“I would say… Around sixteen months on Earth? One month more or less, given or taken.”

“Ok, how long do you think you have been pregnant?” Said Sam, being the calmer of the two Winchesters.

“I don't know.”

“Make a guess, Cas,” said Dean, cringing at his own impatience. “Please,” he added, softer. 

 The angel tapped the sturdy wood of the kitchen table, pensively. Dean was positive his anxiety and Cas’ were mixing by now, making it worse.

“The conception could only have happened after we became bonded.”

“It was one year and three months ago,” shot Dean, thinking fast. “Fifteen months.”

“At worst we have one more month, then,” said Sam, still an awful lot calmer than Dean.

“That means you can go into labor at any second?!” And if Dean wasn't panicking before, he definitely was now. At any new shudder and flinch of Cas' body, Dean is just going to assume it means childbirth time. Fuck. It was going to be Hell. His mind was racing about all the ways it could go wrong. What if Cas goes into labor now? What if he can't do it himself? Who are they even calling for help? Cas severed ties with Heaven over a year ago and their kid was a nephilim. They could kill Cas for willing to bear such a child. Fuck . 

 Ashamed, Cas nodded. Once again he apologized for not being able to notice the pregnancy before. 

“I’m sorry, but how can you be so calm?” Said Eileen after a beat of silence. The woman was looking at Cas with an odd expression. “If I found out I was pregnant with an eight months old baby I would be panicking.”

“I am panicking,” said Cas, completely stoic. “But letting myself feel even more hopeless and anxious wouldn't be good for the baby.”

 The hunter nodded, seemingly understanding them. Must be a woman thing because it’s like a fetus, right? No wait, Cas called it a ball of soul and grace . They didn't even have a form and yet, he was afraid his emotions would reflect badly on the baby. He's a keeper. Dean would be more proud of him if he wasn’t panicking and thinking the baby deserves to feel a little hopeless too. 

“So we don't know when the baby is due and we don't know if you can get them out alone,” Sam surmised for them. One thing Dean had to praise his brother for was how calm and collected he tried to be even when the weirdest, most wild shit happened to them. “There has to be something we can do about it. I can search the books here about baby angels and their reproduction.”

“I don't think there would be anything about it here,” said Cas deflated. “Angels are very discreet about it.”

 Dean sighed and he was about to say something he would probably regret when Eileen beat him to it.

“Why don't we try to do what we can , instead?” She suggested and all three men just stared at her, Cas tilting his head. “You know, getting baby stuff? Clothes, diapers, milk, a crib? The baby will need a room and we can all think about the rest once we calm down.” 

 For a second, they only exchanged looks and nodded. 

“Right,” said Dean, trying to ease some of his never ending anxiety. “Right. Let's go out and buy baby shit,” he said more to himself than the others and promptly stood, searching for his car keys. 

 He was very thankful for Eileen calling them out as he was going to just spiral even more into worry.

Chapter Text

 They drove to a massive mall in Lebanon and entered the biggest children's store they saw. Thankfully, Dean found his hunger again and devoured two crepes in sequence. Unfortunately, Castiel's hunger also returned and he had to walk around the food court with Eileen while the Winchester's shopped. He ended up with a big bag of nuts and a rainbow cotton candy, of all things. It was nice to nibble and it dissolved into even more molecules inside of his mouth. Normally Castiel didn't like human food because of his enhanced angel sensing, but thanks to his nephilim baby, he could feel the actual taste of the food now. And just like when he became a human, he could understand why humans loved to eat to the point of addiction so badly. It made sense. 

 When the duo found the Winchesters, they already had a shopping cart filled to the brim with baby supplies. Castiel saw lotions, feeding bottles, clothes, diapers, bibs, some toys… So much stuff. They were all either bright and colorful or in pastel tones. And Sam was holding an empty cart next to his brother, while Dean picked more diapers from the shelves. 

“Do we need all of this?”

“Trust me Cas, you're underestimating the amount of piss and shit babies can produce,” said Dean seriously. Well, the specialist here was him. 

 Castiel shrugged and asked what else they needed, Dean said for him to pick some blankets and more clothes. 

 Once again, Castiel was thankful for Eileen's presence. She was calm and easy to talk to. The clerks kept mistaking them for a couple and Eileen had to laugh and say they had just found out about a pregnancy. The clerk then congratulated both, but especially Eileen, it was expected since only the human women gave birth. 

 Since they didn't know the gender the baby would take, most of the clothes were on neutral colors, but Eileen reassured him they could buy anything he wanted for his baby. So Castiel picked a nice blue blanket that was nice to the touch and clothes with sky patterns. He saw a cat plushie that reminded him of the one he gifted Claire when she was eighteen years old and picked it for his baby’s room too. 

 There were many, many things in the store. The shelves reached from the floor to the ceiling and everything came in all colors and shapes imaginable. Things Castiel didn’t even know existed. Even though Castiel wasn't very knowledgeable on human currency and prices, every price tag felt wrong to him. Those things shouldn't cost that much. He was positive that small clothes for babies cost more than adult clothes he had bought for himself before. In no time they filled yet another cart with baby supplies.

“Aren't you scared?” Eileen signed to him at some point. He was ready to go find the Winchesters again and see if they needed anything else for the baby but stopped once he saw the sighing. 

 The angel stared at her face. Eileen was a strong and down to earth hunter, but her eyes were soft and understanding. 

“What makes you think I should be scared?” He signed back.

“I would be,” she said simply, like it was oblivious. “And I'm not just talking about the childbirth.”

 Castiel considered his answer. Just yesterday he found out he was pregnant with Dean's child. At the same time he felt overjoyed with happiness, he knew everything could go wrong very fast. Even now, the angel couldn't decide if he was more happy that Dean apparently wanted to raise this kid with him or afraid of all the danger that awaited their kid. And this without even bringing up the fact he has no clue of how the childbirth will go. Too many issues and he didn't know which one to focus on. 

“I'm very scared,” he admitted, with a sad smile. The hunter patted his shoulder and smiled back. 

“It's okay to be scared. We’re here to help you, and I know you are very strong, Cas, but you don't have to pretend to be fine if you're not.”

“Thanks Eileen, it means a lot,” he smiled more genuinely. 

“Dean's rough, but I'm sure he means well. But I guess you already know it,” she smiled and they laughed together.

 They bought so much stuff that it didn't fit in the trunk of the Impala. Half of the bags had to be put in the back seat together with Castiel and Eileen. And on their feet. And some with Sam on the passenger's seat. Castiel still thought Dean was exaggerating but he insisted it wasn't even everything they needed to buy. Babies were small, why did they even need so much stuff? And they hadn’t even gotten all the furniture yet. Dean would have to drop them at the bunker and come back to get them later. 

 The car ride back home was filled with the brothers commenting about the baby’s belongings and how to organize the room. At two different times, Castiel caught Eileen trying to get a glimpse of what the two men were talking about, but eventually she gave up and started to play with her cellphone. Castiel didn't know anything about how to raise and care for a baby and even less about how to set their room, so he simply heard the conversation while staring at the view outside of the window. While he was wondering about chatting with Eileen again, his insides twisted for a moment and Castiel flinched. Luckily the brothers were so engrossed in their conversation and Eileen with her phone, that they didn't notice the subtle movement of his muscles. Ever since last night Castiel has felt random stings of pain on his chest and lower abdomen. The nephilim was certainly developing some sort of conscience and awareness. From time to time it moved curiously now, along his grace, Castiel could feel it. Sometimes it just tickled, but sometimes the baby pulled too strong on his grace and it sent sparkles of pain through his body. 

 Castiel gritted his teeth and took a long breath. After a moment, he finally sensed Eileen's eyes on him. The angel met her eyes briefly and shrugged, attempting at a smile. The woman nodded, but her sharp eyes would be on him from time to time until they reached the bunker. Thinking about a few parenting books he read while he was trying to get closer to Claire, Castiel suddenly remembered about communication being key. Surely he saw how pregnant humans would talk to their still unborn child's and he thought it was worth a shot. The ball of power was simply not staying still, flowing around his body that was not made to hold two souls, let alone two graces. Castiel was growing worried about letting his unwell feelings leak through his bond with Dean. His partner was already worried enough with everything else, it was even hard to pick what he might be thinking. 

  Hello little one , Castiel greeted, inside of his mind. His eyes were closed as he focused on his grace and the mixture of soul and grace wandering along it. The unpleasant feeling stopped. A second later Castiel could locate the soul of his unborn child, it was near his lower back. Since he knew the nephilim was conscious enough and it worked, he continued. Are you growing well? I can't wait to meet you . His chest warmed with a strange feeling and he smiled. Someone's eye was on him, he could feel it, but Castiel ignored it. I'm glad you're well, but I must ask you to not move so much and so freely. The warm feeling dropped in intensity and another one raised, something akin to shame. I'm sorry little one, it just hurts me when you move so much. I kindly ask you to be mindful of it next time. And you can still move along my grace, slower . Hopefully the baby would understand his words. Castiel made his best to not let any negative emotions flow through his mind and body. It took a few long seconds, but the baby vibrated cheerfully. They moved a little closer to his spine and stayed still. Good. Thank you . His body relaxed against the car seat and he opened his eyes only to see Dean parking the car in front of the bunker. 

“Are we going to paint the baby's room?” Asked Sam right after the car stopped, looking at Dean.

“I don't know. Do you want to, Cas?”

“Is it necessary?”

“I wouldn't say necessary ,” said Sam. 

 Once again, while they argued, Eileen stepped in and started to show Castiel some baby room pictures on her phone. From what he gathered, humans liked to paint their babies' rooms in soft and calm pastel colors. But some were more heavily customized than others. Like a room with a sea theme that had its wall painted like the ocean floor with multiple sea creatures swimming. Or one that looked like a savannah.

“Hmm… I think I would like the walls to be painted like the sky,” said Castiel, still swapping the images on Eileen's phone. 

“Of course you would,” said Dean. Or maybe he thought so and Castiel heard it thanks to their bond. It could happen if they were close enough. 

“Can it have bees too?” he said the second he saw a painted tree with a small beehive.  

 Sam chuckled as he passed with several bags under his arms. 

“Sure!”

“Then I would like it. Sky and bees.”

“Is going to look really cute, Cas,” said Eileen excitedly. Castiel returned her phone. Before the woman moved away, she signed. “Are you okay?”

“Feeling better now. Sorry for concerning you.”

“If you need anything, you can count on me. Even if it is just to listen.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you two talking about?” Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Nothing,” said Eileen, before grabbing a few bags and walking towards the bunker. 

 Castiel took whatever bags were left inside the trunk with his hands. As he stepped towards the bunker's door, Dean caught his eyes. He was still very serious.

“Are you sure you should carry it all?”

“I'm still an angel,” he said sternly and simply walked past him. Dean shrugged.

Chapter Text

“I am so excited to be an auntie!” Charlie jumped and bounced excitedly around the room. “I can be Dean Junior’s auntie, right?” She added with a mortified expression immediately.

“Of course, you are my lil sister, aren't ya?” 

 Charlie screamed, vibrating, once again. Eileen went back to her house for a few days, but Charlie came in running the second they told the news. And she couldn't be happier. Honestly, Dean was happy for Charlie too. She lost her mother, her father, and never had any siblings. Extended family was never in the picture either. Then she grew up alone, feeling weird. But now Charlie could have a nice family too and for that, Dean was thankful.

 Even Jody offered help. Since she was the only one with a kid and knew about their line of work and the creatures in this world, they called her. Jody was more than happy to show them how to care correctly for the baby and teach them a thing or two. They all got so excited. Dean never even let himself dream of having a family like this. A sister, a boyfriend, a mother figure and a baby. And some friends and aunties and uncles for his kid too. Frankly some days he was afraid it was all a dream and he was going to wake up and be devastated when he realized nothing of this was real. 

 The hunter sat on the floor, finishing the crib. Meanwhile Sam was just adding the last door of the baby's wardrobe. Turns out it took longer than he expected to build all the new mobiles in his kid's room. They picked the room right next to his, for obvious reasons. The bed was pushed to the side and turned into an improvised sofa, filled with pillows and blankets. One of the good and fancy chairs of the library was moved there too. The previous day was spent painting the walls blue. Then he and Sam added the clouds and some honey bees earlier in the day. Dean had to admit, they were doing a pretty good job remodeling the old bunker room to a nice nursery slash baby room. 

 Since Cas was pretty clumsy with, well, everything , he was given the task of organizing the baby stuff inside of the wardrobe and the drawers. The angel was pretty good at it, probably because there was no mystery and he could do it slowly. Charlie bounced at him to stare at the baby clothes he was folding and storing away, commenting about how cute they were.

“Have you guys decided on a name yet?” She asked, looking from Cas to Dean.

“I didn't give it much thought,” said Cas, focused on folding clothes. “Do you have any ideas, Dean?”

 He smiled. “Hey Sam, remember when we took care of that shapeshifter baby?” His brother nodded, just done with the last part of the wardrobe. “We called him Bobby John,” he chucked, thinking back fondly. “Wadda say, Cas?”

 The angel closed the drawer and turned to stare at Dean as if he was personally offended. 

“I have nothing but respect for Bobby Singer, but…”

“Yeah, you hated it, I can see,” said Dean, losing his smile. To add salt to the injury, Cas didn't correct him. It was a dumb name, he knew it. “T’was a joke.” 

 Standing up, Dean checked the crib one last time to make sure it was built correctly this time. He couldn't risk it falling with his baby inside. Cas might even kill him if he didn't kill himself first. 

“Can I suggest some names?” Said Charlie, smiling through the now tense atmosphere. “Luke, Leia, George, Lucas, Kirk, Ripley...”

“Ripley? From Alien?” Said Sam, curious and already chuckling. 

“Well I heard the baby is going to, you know,” she made an exaggerated sound of pain and her hands moved around her abdomen, referencing the classic scene. That's why she's his long lost sister, Dean smiled proudly. “And besides, Ripley is a gender neutral name!” The woman searched for Cas approval, but the angel was too busy scanning the newly built brown crib. “Oh maybe not.”

“Sorry I'm not feeling any of those names, Charlie,” said Cas, without looking back at her, but Dean could see him and Cas hated hurting others feelings, it was all in his tone of voice. “You don't want to name the baby after your parents, Dean?” Said Cas, now looking at his partner.

“I…” Dean was beyond surprised Cas would even consider naming his son after his dad, knowing how much disdain the angel held for John. It was probably not a good idea and he wasn’t even considering it himself. “I think it would be weird to call my kid John or Mary,” he said genuinely, staring back at the blue eyes he loved so much. “Besides, how long are we going to recycle the same family names?”

“You could go with Henry or Milie and keep the tradition,” remembered Sam and by his mother's ghost, Dean couldn't tell if his brother was joking or not. He better be joking. 

“Those are nice names,” the traitor Cas said, eyeing Sam with consideration. 

 Honestly, Dean didn't want to give any cursed name to his kid. They were a nephilim already, that's enough trouble without the cursed Winchester last name plaguing them too. But he couldn't say it out loud. Instead, Dean just stood, grabbed the baby sheets and finished making the crib. White sheets with no decoration, very basic. Once they know the baby's gender, they can buy more thematic things. Not that he would mind covering a baby boy with a Sleeping Beauty blanket. 

“Listen Cas, just pick whatever name you want,” Dean told him seriously. “I don't mind. Just pick any normal name.”

 Cas squinted his eyes. “What's a 'normal' name?” 

“Something that won't get your kid bullied in school,” said Charlie. “Trust me, kids can be mean.” 

 Turning back to Charlie, Cas both eyes squinted and tilted his head.

“What's ‘bullied’?”

 Charlie opened her mouth, meeting Dean's eyes, but he was faster. 

“You said it, you explain,” and he simply walked away, leaving a flushed Charlie and a reluctant Sam to explain to an angel what bullying was. 

 When Dean opened the fridge, his fingers itched to grab a beer. Ever since the day Cas announced he was pregnant, Dean hadn't drank a drop of alcohol. And he wanted to. Desperately. But his conscience was begging him to remain sober. And even though his alcohol tolerance was high, he still didn't want to ingest it. He couldn't. 

 Dean looked away, to the empty kitchen, and let out a shaky breath. Every time he thought about drinking a beer because of how utterly stressed he was thanks to that whole situation, he remembered. One day, his father came back home exceptionally drunk. Dean couldn't be over eleven, he had done something he was very proud of. Maybe it was some high score Sam got in his school. Or a room he cleaned, a cake he had baked. Something minor but he was still very proud of. And his drunken mess of a father had screamed at him to leave him alone. Dean cried himself to sleep, as quietly as he could. And yeah, now he's wondering about it, maybe it is yet another trauma his wonderful father left him. 

 As Dean came to terms with the fact he was a soon-to-be father, he kept remembering how his own father treated him. Most of them he wished he could forget. Dean was old enough and experienced enough to realize Bobby was more of a father to him and Sam than John ever was. John may have been the greatest hunter that ever walked on Earth, but he was a shitty father and it was time for him to accept it. He was no role model. Hell, he even hid his younger son from his older sons and decided that one deserved a normal and happy life instead. As sad as Adam's life turned out to be, Dean still felt himself grow furious when he remembered he was the one his father tried to be an actual father for. Not the sons of his late wife. Whom he pledged to avenge. Dean would rather sell his soul to Crowley than become like his father. Cas and his nephilim baby deserved so much more. More than what Dean feared he could offer them.

 After a minute or two scanning the fridge, he got some health-juice Sam bought for himself. Surely his brother wouldn't mind. The taste was weird and Dean wished he had simply got some water instead. Still alone in the kitchen and with his mind racing once again about all the ways he could fuck up his father role, Dean decided his best course of action was to cook dinner. At least it was going to be a welcome distraction. 

 Late that night, when he finally decided it was time to try to sleep and pray for no nightmares, Dean found Cas in their room using the computer. Quite the view, the angel sitting in the chair and reading something serious on the internet. Even when they were hunting together before, he preferred to hit the books and scan the area instead of using the technology. However Dean had to admit Cas has become quite competent using the internet. 

“What are you doing?” Dean dropped his arms around his partner, behind him, and peaked at the screen. He laughed. Laughed freely for the first time since he found out he was going to be a father. 

“You said to pick a name,” said Cas stoic, twisting his body to stare at Dean. Of course he would be on bounchbabynames.com again. What did Dean expect? “So I have been reading them for the baby.”

“You… what?” His laugh started to die as he tilted his head confused. “Are you… reading them to the baby?”

“I thought perhaps they would like to pick their own name.”

“Right,” said Dean after a beat of silence, trying to not look at Cas like he was crazy. His angel has always been weird, but talking to the ball of soul and grace was new. Women talking to their babies? That's fine, it's normal. But Dean didn't expect it from a very literal celestial being. “And how was it?”

“They haven't picked a name yet.” After a beat of silence, he smiled. “Do you want to talk to them?”

“What?”

“Talk to the baby. They know your voice well.”

“I-,” he blinked, quite shook with this new development. Cas had a goofy smile and stared at him hesitant. He was being serious. It wasn't like Dean had anything against it so… “Sure, why not? That's what normal couples do, right?”

“I believe so,” so Cas stood from his chair and remained still right in front of Dean, very close to his body, to the point that he could feel Cas’ body warmth. Cas held their hands together and rested them over his belly. “Try speaking to them.”

“Uh… What should I say?”

“Anything.”

  Great, so useful . Dean hesitated for a second more, until he stepped closer and let his forehead bump into Cas'. He stared down at his interlaced hands, linking the way they fit together. His heartbeat was more accelerated than normal and he started to worry about the bond when Cas smiled wider. At least it was positive emotions for a change. He was feeling more at ease today.

“Hey ya little rascal, are you alright in there?”

 Dean wasn't sure what he expected. Definitely not a kick, or anything moving on Cas' belly. They were silent for a moment, staring at their hands. Then Dean felt something grow warm at the point where his hand was touching Cas' shirt. It was soothing and very pleasant, like a good blanket on a cold day. Happiness irradiated inside of his chest and he smiled. Cas chuckled a bit and told him their kid definitely knows his voice. Damn . His smile turned into a soft chuckle too and he moved impossibly closer to his angel.

“I- We finished your room today, you better like it,” Dean kept speaking to his baby. “It has everything. I think. And you better grow well and only be born when you're ready, okay?” Now that he went full dad mode he realized he couldn't stop. “And help your father pick a name too, you need a name, kid. How about Bobby John?”

“No,” said Cas immediately, losing his smile. 

“You answered too fast,” Dean had to swallow down a laugh. Cas squinted his eyes in a very dangerous way and, for a second, Dean thought the angel wanted to kill him. But it only lasted a second and the angel just shrugged. Once again, Dean ran his fingers along Cas’ body, feeling the lukewarm tingle of grace, instinctively knowing it was from their baby. It was hard to explain, but standing close to Cas and paying attention to him, hearing his breathing and feeling his body heat, he could tell the baby was somewhere here too, paying attention. It was both weird and fascinating. 

“Okay, let me do it right,” said Cas, forcing himself to smile and be cool. “Little one, do you like the name Bobby John?” He said the name like it was an insult. Dean was barely keeping himself together. After three seconds, Cas stared back at Dean. “I'm afraid it's still a no,” he deadpanned.

 He couldn't hold it anymore and started to laugh. “Love, I'm kidding,” said Dean between laughs. His chest felt warmer with happiness again and it was fine if Cas hated that stupid name. He doesn't care, their kid could have any name. Maybe it's even a girl and all of that is even more stupid. Cas joined his laughing after a moment. After that, they got ready for bed.

“You may speak to the baby at any time you want,” said Cas, joining Dean in the bed. He had turned off the computer for the night. Dean only nodded. “They enjoyed it.”

“I'm sure. I enjoyed it too,” said Dean, pulling Cas down for a kiss. 

 Dean's peaceful sleep ended as his hand grabbed nothing but empty sheets. Both of his eyes opened to see an empty bed. And then an empty room. Frowning, he called for his angel. His pleas fell on deaf ears. Feeling worry creeping inside of his body, he jumped from the bed and ventured through the bunker. Dean only stopped to check his phone, no missed calls or messages too.

 There was nothing wrong or amiss. No blood or fight marks. He checked the bathroom first, but it was empty too. His second safe guess was the correct one. Dean sighed in relief as he saw Cas opening kitchen cabinets left and right. 

“Quite a scare you gave me,” Dean called out, making Cas stop whatever he was doing to stare at him as if he was caught doing something wrong, like robbing a bank or hiding a body. “You're hungry?”

“Apologies, I didn't want to wake you up,” said the angel, quickly closing all the cabinets with a snap of his fingers. “I think I want to eat avocado.”

 Dean looked around. He didn't even remember seeing Cas tasting an avocado before. But he was safe and everything was alright. 

“We're out?” Cas nodded. “Okay, I'll buy you some tomorrow.”

“But I want to eat avocado now.”

“Cas, is two in freaking morning. Where the fuck am I going to find a fucking avocado at two in the morning?”

 Cas' mouth opened, in shock, but he quickly closed it. The angel squinted his eyes and gritted his teeth, sending a death glare in the direction of Dean. Next second he had vanished. Dean only registered the sound of flapping wings after he was gone.

“Fuck!” He screamed at the void.

 Damn, he was an idiot. Cas could have gone anywhere. With his child. He grabbed his phone, then hesitated. Panicking, Dean packed around the kitchen, considering what to do. What if he runs into a problem? At the other side of the world? Dean would never be able to help him in time. And it was all his fault. Because he has been so stressed and anxious about the whole baby nephilim thing. But one thing he knows, he must keep Cas and the baby safe. Whatever it takes. Then Dean threw all pride out the window and called Cas. After one ring, he heard the sound of the angel's phone ringing behind him. Dean turned, gasping when he saw Cas standing in the middle of the kitchen, bag of avocados in his hand. Dean turned off the call. 

“Damn Cas! Where did you go?!”

“To the biggest market in Singapore,” he said flatly. Cas dropped the bag over the table and moved to grab some utensils. 

“Could have given me a warning.”

“I'm back already, aren't I?” And he sent another cold glare to his boyfriend. Using a knife, Cas started to cut open one of the avocados. “You may go back to sleep. I'm fine.”

 Speechless, Dean only stared at him, crossing his arms. He was angry. And so was Cas. Now, who was angrier, he couldn't tell. Sometimes their feelings leak to one another, making it impossible to determine who started. Most times it is a blessing, and they reach a mutual understanding even without words. Other times however, nothing works.

 Calm, Cas made a paste of the avocado on a bowl, added a few seasonings and even some cashews, and started to eat them with toast. His anger died a bit and Dean took a deep breath. It was ridiculous; they shouldn't be fighting over something so small like this, they are both adults. They were going to have a child together. 

“I'm sorry for yelling.” It came out more forced and reluctant than what Dean would’ve liked. 

“No, you're sorry you made me angry,” corrected Cas. Dean couldn't deny it. Cas took another bite of his late night snack and they were silent again. “This is just-” he shook his head. “How do pregnant women go through this and don't turn insane?”

 Dean wanted to laugh, but he thought it would sour the mood even more so he contented himself with only a smile. 

“I have no idea, buddy. Maybe they are all a little insane.”

“Aren't we all?” And this time, Dean did laugh. A soft chuckle. And like magic, it broke the tense atmosphere. 

“Can I taste it?”

“Sure, Dean.”

 They sat at the kitchen table for a while, in a comfortable silence, eating avocado pasta and toasts until Cas was satisfied. When they returned to the bed, neither really knew why they were angry in the first place.

Chapter Text

 Something threatened to burst out from his body. Flashbacks from the tortured souls of the Purgatory and the Leviathans trapped into his body and begging, screaming and fighting for freedom filled his head. Castiel sat down in the bed, jolting awake. Instinctively, he looked down to his perfectly normal stomach and sighed in relief. The memories of his past mistakes were still clear as day inside his mind, but now he was awake. Was he dreaming? He doesn’t dream. At least not while sleeping, which he also couldn't do until very recently. Still, despite his body waking him up violently, he could still feel his insides twisting painfully. He hugged his guts, grunting in pain. His panic started to spike, remembering the Leviathans, but they were long gone. The only thing inside of his body was… His baby. A new wave of panic and nausea hit the angel.

 Only when Dean shook his arm and called his name louder, he noticed he had awakened the human. Oh, poor Dean was going to be worried again now. Had he known it would happen, Castiel would sleep in the library or maybe in the baby’s room. All Castiel could do was stare back at Dean’s half tired half alarmed eyes for a second. Then the baby moved and made his whole body vibrate with pain. He could feel the vomit coming up to his mouth and he flapped his wings, flying to the bathroom in the blink of an eye. He was throwing up inside the toilet before he could even open his eyes in the new room.

 Somehow, he always felt better after throwing up. As if his body was getting rid of some venom. Since he hadn't eaten much the previous day, he vomited very little, some ugly yellow things and bile. After one singular second of silence, Castiel heard Dean screaming for him through the corridor. He groaned again, feeling like throwing up more. He wasn’t going to have one second to rest and wonder what happened this time. He was dreaming, or better, having nightmares. That could only be the influence of his half human baby: it was making him experience human things again, and not in a very pleasant way. Perhaps it was his nightmare that left the baby so agitated, though they have been behaving better since Castiel started to speak to them. Still, that was quite the reaction his body took out of it too. Which was a bad sign.  

 Dean invaded the bathroom and tried to turn on the lights but none lighted. Oh . Castiel hurried a small ‘sorry’ before Dean ignored the darkness and came to knee at his side, immediately soothing him and rubbing circles on his back. His presence was very calming, despite his clearly shaken mood. They stayed in silence for a moment.

“Cas, are you alright?” Asked Dean again, his voice surprisingly even. “What happened?”

“I had a nightmare,” Castiel said simply, but Dean kept staring at him, begging for more information with his eyes. “I think I might have scared the baby, they were upset.”

“That’s why it got you throwing up and shaking?”

“Yes and…” he hesitated, which made Dean’s eyes furrow. “I think my body is starting to reject the baby?”

“Reject?!” He almost jumped out of his skin.

“Wait, that was a poor choice of words,” he tried to calm his panther, putting a hand on Dean’s left shoulder to ground him. “I’m not in labor ,” Dean relaxed, “but this vessel- my body, won’t be able to contain the baby for much longer until it starts to collapse.”  

 Dean blinked, his eyes huge. 

“Meaning…?”

“We don’t have much time left,” he said sadly, feeling all his insides twisting again. Dean gulped. Castiel moved away and opened his arms. 

“What are you doing?”

“Hannah, I must speak with you,” he prayed, staring at the ceiling and seeing the broken lightbulbs. “I know you must be busy, but there’s a situation where I would like to speak with you in person. Please meet me in the park where we found the first portal.”

 His only hope was that Hannah was enough of his friend to help him bring a nephilim into the world. 

“This isn’t a good idea,” complained Dean for the third time. “You said the angels wouldn’t help.”

“I know what I said,” Castiel grunted, finally giving up on ignoring Dean since it was obviously not working. 

 The sun was starting to show its first rays of the day from the horizon, coloring the sky in soft oranges behind heavy and dark clouds. While Castiel had been happy Sam was away on a hunt with Eileen and Charlie leaving only the two of them in the bunker, now he missed Sam’s presence. If Sam was there, he would be doing his best to calm his overbearing brother.

“Then why are we doing this again?”

“Because Hannah is the only angel I consider a friend right now. If there’s one angel that may help us, it is her,” he clarified, grumpier than what he would like to be. 

“Well, what if she doesn’t? What if she tries something, hmm? Like, hurting you or the baby…?”

“Well, she is welcome to try.”

 Dean opened his mouth, then promptly shut it. His hands tightened on the wheel and his gaze remained straight ahead. By his side, Castiel crossed his arms and relaxed on his seat. Those sparkles of anger were becoming more and more frequent. It could be the baby messing with his emotions, the stress of the whole situation, the anxiety for when his body finally breaks and the need to set his baby free in the world. Honestly, it was probably all of this. And while Dean’s overprotectiveness over Castiel was adorable and reassuring for one or two days, it was starting to really get into his nerves. Pregnant or not, he was still a Seraph and very capable of handling himself without Dean hurrying to his side after everything.  

 They didn’t speak until they reached the park. The angels had moved the portal from there over a year ago, so it was now just a normal playground. It was empty since the sun was just rising in the sky, too early for any human to think about going out for a run or their jobs. As soon as they were out of the car, Castiel told him to wait there while he spoke to Hannah. From his petulant expression, the human was not happy about it at all, but Dean just crossed his arms and looked away. Knowing that was the most Castiel was going to get from Dean, he walked away.

 A small woman with auburn hair was sitting by the swings. She was dressed in simple white clothes, a doctor or a nurse, more than likely. Her wings were a delicate shade of blue and were fully healed. Castiel recognized Hannah by her wings, the meat suit was different from the last time he saw her. Castiel approached Hannah and after a small nod, she followed him through the park.

“Castiel, I heard your prayer,” said Hannah softly. 

 Castiel nodded. “Yes, I prayed. How have things been in Heaven, Hannah? I see your wings are healed now,” he smiled.

“Heaven is doing well, maybe the best it ever was, in recent years. I'm still not sure how I became the new boss, but I'm past complaining.”

“It is a tough job.”

“Indeed. As for my wings, they are perfect again,” Hannah smiled bright. “Great idea of yours, trying the ancient bond ritual. We eventually forced Metatron to tell us some more parts of the angel tablet so we could make more portals to heaven and know how to heal wings with a certain spell. It is slower than finding a bond partner but is an option.”

“That is great news. I'm glad to know. I assume Metatron is still alive then?” Even just saying that vile man’s name made Castiel scorn. 

“At least for a few more years, since someone made him human,” Castiel looked away, feigning ignorance. 

 Over a year ago, Dean drove him through half of the country after they found a clue about Metatron’s location. When they found him, both tortured the old enemy until Castiel called it off and decided that — for as much as he would love to torture that bastard to death — he should give Metatron back to the angels to be put in Heaven’s jail again. And after, Castiel and Dean got even closer during their time traveling together and bonded. So he couldn't really say it wasn’t worth it in the end. 

“But enough chit chat, I know you didn’t call me to talk about Heaven,” said Hannah, stopping their little walk. “And I know your bonded partner is watching,” she added with a chuckle. 

 He squinted his eyes then stared at a tree. Castiel could feel Dean watching even without the bond but he was hoping Hannah would be clueless. Luck hasn't been on his side as of late. Castiel glared at the tree and sent a wave of anger through their delicate bond. Something moved behind a bust. Probably Dean's air leaving his lungs as he gasped. Ignoring the human, the angel retired to meet Hannah's eyes and let his expression relax. 

“Sorry about him but you're right,” he started and Hannah just nodded. She didn't look bothered by the stalking. “Would you help any angel in need? Regardless of their past actions?”

“Why, of course, Castiel,” said Hannah, without hesitation. “I'm not the type to hold grudges.”

“Of course. And… May I ask what your thoughts are about Nephilim?”

“Nephilim?” Her eyes widened and she was speechless for a moment, making Castiel regret being so direct. “You know we have orders to kill them, Castiel, I'm no exception.”

 Castiel opened, then closed his mouth a few times, trying to get his thoughts straight. He didn't know if it was because of the bond, the baby, or his own fear that turned his brain into a mess. 

“But… Even if it's just a baby?”

“Babies grow and they turn into powerful and unpredictable things,” said Hannah seriously.

“That doesn't mean it is going to become evil or a problem.”

“Castiel,” her tone was harsh and he could do nothing but listen. “Is this about you and your human partner, Dean Winchester?”

 Hannah tilted her head and her wings. Castiel was stunned by her bold words, and more importantly, because she was right and that was not the reaction he was hoping for. After a beat of dreadful silence between the angels, one of Hannah's wings moved towards Castiel. It was a totally normal and non threatening movement, just reaching for his wings as comfort between fellow angels. But Castiel's instinct kicked in differently. He almost stepped backwards, away from her, stopping himself barely, but his wing retreated anyway, fleeing from the touch. Castiel's face fell at the same time as Hannah's, as both took in the meaning of such a thing. His regret was immediate. Castiel saw a threat to his child and his first instinct was not to let another angel near him. Now that he saw the wrongness of this action, he could only feel ashamed. If Hannah didn't know before, she does now. Granted, she might have been able to feel the new soul inside of him with a simple touch, but, by avoiding her, the trust was broken.

 After a moment of hesitation, Hannah withdrew her wings to herself and sighed. Still too shocked and regretful, Castiel kept staring at her in silence.

“Castiel, you're a dear friend to me, so I beg you to not do anything thoughtless,” her tone was less harsh, it had a hint of sadness and some resignation. “If you are planning on having a nephilim with Dean Winchester, I strongly advise against it. But. In case this conversation may be too late, pray that we never cross paths again,” she showed him one last sad smile, before he heard the sound of wings and saw her flying away, back to Heaven. 

 Castiel sighed, utterly defeated. 

 The drive back to the bunker was even worse. The sun was strong in the sky now and its rays were trying to blind him. Dean was silent for a long time. Long for Dean, ten minutes, with no music playing. Castiel counted the seconds. He didn't start yelling this time, simply asked about what they talked about. As if he couldn't guess from his sneaking, Castiel's downfallen face and their bond. Still, the angel told his partner everything. Contrary to what Castiel expected, Dean heard everything in silence, side eyeing him almost all the time. When he was done, Dean pulled the car over at a diner where they could have breakfast. The human took off his seat belt but didn't leave the car, instead he stared at Castiel. 

“So your angel friend refused to help and, even worse, she knows about the baby. What makes you think she isn't calling a whole army to end us both right now?” Dean's tone was harsh and Castiel could feel he was barely keeping his anger controlled. 

“She was merciful.”

“What part of that was merciful?!” Dean snapped.

“I made a mistake,” again , he swallowed whatever was left of his pride. “And now Hannah knows but she won't harm us or the baby.”

“Why are you so sure?” It wasn't like Dean didn't trust Castiel. But he didn't trust Heaven. And honestly, he shouldn't. Neither of them.

“She walked away, didn't she?” They just stared at each other. Castiel was the first to sigh and look around the car. “Listen, she could have attacked. She could have done a lot of things. But Hannah just left. She warned me and she left . She isn't going to come back.”

 And after what felt like forever. “Okay,” said Dean, not totally convinced. He opened the door on his side. “Want breakfast? I'm starving.”

 Inside the cozy place, they asked for an abundance of plates. A cheerful waitress got their orders and brought them in no time. The place was relatively empty, since it was so early. Castiel was pleased to be able to feel the taste of coffee, and properly enjoy it. Dean ate a piece of apple pie with less desire than usual and Castiel ate both a chocolate cake and a plate full of waffles. Waffles decorated with red fruits and chantilly. The baby inside of him feeds on his grace and it should be enough. But their human side craved human food too, so Castiel was always in the mood to eat just about anything. He didn't mind it since he liked most human food. But his random cravings of super specific things were the worst. Like when he almost fought Dean at two in morning over avocados. Or the day he had to fly to the coast to buy fresh oysters. Those were bad cravings. Most of the time he was happy just with heavy fat or sugary human food and his PB&J sandwiches. 

 During breakfast, Dean picked up his phone to call Sam. The brothers chatted for a few minutes and exchanged some insults. The angel could pretend to not be listening, but he was feeling too defeated and bored to deny himself of the small distraction. The Winchesters got a call from Eileen a few days ago: she and a fellow hunter were having trouble with a dispute over a city. Both a pack of vampires and a clan of werewolves wanted to hunt in the same place. And there were a lot of monsters involved. Sam and Charlie volunteered to take over while the expecting couple stayed in the bunker. At first Dean wanted to go too, but he immediately changed his mind when Castiel said he was going as well.

 They argued for quite some time, until Dean decided to stay with the angel and both would be the backup in case anything went wrong during the case.

 At first Castiel was annoyed. He was not suddenly a fragile tea cup just because he was pregnant. By Heaven, he had been pregnant for a long time! However, he eventually sat down to talk with Dean again and his partner told him how worried he was for both of them and how he would rather avoid unnecessary fights or danger now. It was sweet, and Castiel let his anger go away and decided to just enjoy some alone time with Dean. All they did was watch movies and cook a ton of recipes. It was fun. For three days. Three wonderful days. 

 Sam and the others had successfully killed all the vampires thanks to a truce with the werewolves. They got into contact with their friend Garth, a hunter-turned-werewolf that feeds exclusively on animals, to try to convince some of the werewolves to change their ways. Some agreed, some disagreed. And now the hunters were after the rogue werewolves. Once Dean finished the call he gave a small explanation of the events to Castiel, who pretended he didn't just eavesdrop on the entire thing. After, Dean simply finished his pie and coffee. 

“Cas, what are we going to do?” Dean asked once his plate was empty. Castiel still had half a plate of waffles to go. The angel had stayed quiet. He’s never been good with this tense atmosphere and he expected Dean to stay annoyed and silent until they returned to the bunker. He knew exactly what Dean wanted to know. But it didn't make things any easier for him.

“I'll try to birth the baby myself.”

“What if you can't?” He said tired. It was like a candle that burned too strongly for too long and only burned wax was left. 

“Well…” Castiel remembered when Crowley reached inside of him and pulled out the angel tablet he had hidden inside his vessel. “I suppose if we can't have an angel, a demon may work.”

 Dean's eyes widened, then he squinted them. 

“A demon? Angels are too dangerous, but we could use a demon?”

“At least demons can be reasoned with,” he shrugged, drinking more of his coffee. “Or made a deal with.”

“You're thinking about Crowley,” it wasn't a question. Dean scorned. “You can't be serious.”

“He’s proved himself to be useful and has worked with us before.”

“Cas, you can't be serious,” Dean shook his head, almost laughing. But Castiel knew him better than this. He was using humor to mask his fears again. 

“I never said it was a good idea. It is more of a… Desperate idea,” he reluctantly said. “I don't want to make a deal with Crowley again too.”

“Are you sure I can't do that?” Castiel hesitated, staring into Dean's too sincere green eyes. He doesn't know how his body would react to the childbirth and Dean wasn't a celestial creature or a demon capable of invading someone's body. Maybe there was a way to get around it, but Castiel would need to do some homework first.

“Maybe,” he said eventually. Dean's eyes sparkled with hope. 

“What do you have in mind?”

“I'll tell you at the bunker,” it was a promise.

 Castiel remembered a time where a fairy was creating storms around a small city and after everything was done, they stayed stuck in the only hotel in the city until the water level from the river dropped and they could leave by a precarious bridge. Sam was helping Eileen out with something so minor he forgot about, so it was just him and Dean in the middle of nowhere fooling around. It was fun. Everything was simple and easy and Castiel missed it terribly. 

Chapter Text

 Dean tapped a pen against the war table incessantly. A book about monsters was right in front of him. A few books about angels were scattered around the table. He was dying to do something. Anything that could distract his mind. You could drink my grace , Cas had told him. It was going to give him some mojo and what else. But he couldn't do that. Not only because that baby was already feeding on his grace but it hit too close to home. Vivid flashbacks of Sam addicted to demon's blood played inside of his head. The last thing he needed was to be addicted to Cas' grace and end up locked up to sober up. So he grabbed his beer and finished it in one go. Which was ironic. Fucking addiction, their family must be prone to it or something. 

 The empty bottle was thrown in the nearby trash can while Dean cursed his entire existence. How could he attempt to not become like his father when he can't even get rid of the alcoholism? If he's not sober for his child's birth, he would never forgive himself. Cas needs him. He needs him and Dean wasn't going to be any help unless he tried to drink his grace. Fucking Hell. What was he supposed to do? His only other option would be summoning the actual King of Hell and begging for his help. Which was only marginally better. 

 Suddenly, the door opened and Dean twisted in his chair to stare at the visitor. Sam walked calmly, his backpack on his shoulder. No major injuries aside from a bandage on his right hand. So far so good. Dean stood up immediately. 

“So?”

“Everythings fine,” promised Sam. “Just left Eileen back at her house.”

“Ok. And what about the thing we spoke about?” And as he said it, Dean looked around the war room, seeking from hits of his angel. 

“Charlie's on it. Garth too. Bobby. And I even talked to Jody and Claire.”

“Good.”

“Dean,” called Sam, with his puppy eyes and his disgusting concerned expression. “I don't mind doing it. Seeking a lost angel for help and such…”

“But?” he said impatiently. He was not in the mood for one of his brother's lectures. 

 Sam looked around the place, his shoulders dropped. 

“Maybe you should give the grace thing a try.”

“No, Sam, I shouldn't.”

“Hey, I know what you're worried about and-”

“If you know, then leave me in fucking peace!” he growled. Sam gave him a stern look and Dean looked away. “Just do it!” He reminded his brother before walking away. 

 On his way, he got another beer. Then cursed loudly after drinking it. Dean was spiraling again. He went to drink the beer, only to realize the bottle was already empty. Frustrated, Dean decided to try to hit the books again but his frustration was getting in the way since he hated doing research. It didn't take long for him to completely give up. In the end, Dean vanished to his cave to watch a western movie to relax. 

 It wasn't a surprise when Dean opened his door to see his angel laying lazy on their bed. Cas had bought a ton of baby books and was diligently reading them all while Dean had a mental breakdown. He couldn't even be mad, he’d rather be the one in shambles while Cas enjoys his pregnancy life as peacefully as he can. It wasn't easy. 

 The angel was holding a bee plushie, staring at it with awe. Charlie's gift, of course. But Dean was pretty sure it was for the baby's room and not for the angel. Still, Cas was enamored with the little plushie. And it was quite cute. It was a very cartoony bee with white little wings. Perfect for the baby and his bee obsessed boyfriend. 

“Where have you been?” Said Cas, from his place in the bed, not looking at Dean. His bee was more interesting.

“Busy.” The acid reply came out unfiltered and Dean regretted it. “I was studying.”

“I looked for you.”

“If you really wanted to find me, you would have.”

 Dean crossed the room in a flash. He opened the drawers looking for some pajamas to spend the night in all while showing his back to Cas. Maybe he was a bit drunk, he was speaking in a cruder way than what he normally would with Cas. There was a sound from the bed. 

“I'll elect to ignore your rudeness tonight because I am in a good mood.”

“First time in a while!” Dean showed him a smile. The angel was glaring at him, his plushie forgotten next to him in the bed. The man felt his sass die out and his smile dropped from his face and went directly to the ground. 

 Cas crossed his arms.

“We should talk.”

“I'm really not in the mood for it,” shaking his head, Dean took off his pants. He wanted to sleep. Then it could be one day nearer the day his baby would be born and he would finally  stop overthinking about the childbirth. 

“I see,” Cas said flatly. Ignoring the need for pajamas, Dean put on an old gray shirt that was full of holes and no pants. All while Cas was still annoyingly overdressed with his white shirt and black pants. “I think I know when the baby was conceived.”

“Really?” Dean had to do a double take to see if Cas wasn't bullshiting him. The angel merely nodded. Curious, he stepped closer. “When?”

“When we had sex in the Impala. The first time, I mean.”

 It was mere days after the bond. Dean started to smile from simply remembering that day. They had responsibly turned over a half dead Metatron to the angels, become bonded, fooled around in Miami and started the long drive back to the bunker. They hit a few problems down the road but had tons of sex. It was their first time even, when Cas stopped the car in the middle of nowhere, in the darkness of the night, and they fucked until sunrise. It was certainly unforgettable. 

“Oh, I liked that.”

“I liked that too,” agreed Cas, with a sly smile that made something inside of Dean twist. “I feel like I was never as shameless and transparent about my wants and needs as during that time. The bond was strong and new. I think it is probably the most likely time.”

  Damn right . Cas pulled that car over wanting to fuck Dean and claim him as his . Dean couldn't remember a time he was more turned on in his life than when Cas was riding him and moaning until he was satisfied. It was a damn good time. Then his stupid mind went to making calculations.

“That was almost sixteen months ago,” said Dean, losing his smile. “The very first time we had sex?”

“Which also tracks with the pregnancy stage. The baby is close, Dean, I can feel it,” he said, very serious again. 

 Dean gulped and turned away. He was still unsure about what he would do when the imaginary water broke and Hell went loose. They were running out of time and Dean was drinking to forget his problems. Again. What a great example of a father and partner he was being. 

“Listen Cas, I'm stressed. I'm damn stressed right now,” he sighed loudly, trying to ease his own tension. “And I'm sure you're stressed too. Can we just talk tomorrow?”

 The angel pouted . It would be adorable if he didn't have such a murderous look in his eyes. Fortunately, Cas dropped his eyes and started to undress too, starting by unbuttoning his shirt. His majestic black wings glittering behind him in rainbow colors, Dean never gets tired of watching them move. After a few seconds, Dean noticed he was staring. His angel had a good body and it just occurred to him that it had been a while since he last saw Cas nude outside of him throwing up or shaking violently with his sickness. Something in the bond must have alerted Cas because he quickly caught Dean staring. 

“Like what you see?” He tilted his head and smiled in a seductive way that would probably fail with everyone else but made Dean soft for him immediately.

“If I didn't like it, I wouldn't be sleeping with you, wouldn't I?”

“I suppose you wouldn't,” Cas chuckled. He let the shirt fall to the bed and passed a hand through his dark hair, messing it even more as doing so. “Have you ever slept with someone you didn't find attractive?”

“No. And you're the best .” 

  The best I could have. The best thing I have had in my life. Way better than what I deserve. I'm not the best for you but I can't leave you, not anymore. Maybe not ever. I'm so sorry. I love you.  

 The words Dean couldn't say made his insides twist in pain. Caught on his throat, he sent his feelings through the bond instead. He stared at the deep blue eyes until they caught it. Cas gasped softly, then his face melted in the most heartwarming smile he had seen in weeks. Dean knew their relationship was not going well. The pregnancy and the future nephilim of them was a huge challenge and he felt like he was failing miserably at keeping himself together and helping Cas. But he wasn't going to give up. And more importantly he didn't want Cas to think he loved him any less. So he let his actions speak and moved forward until their lips met.

 Kissing Cas always felt like a reward for being alive. As if his whole life finally had any meaning that wasn't just protecting Sam. He had someone that was truly his . And Dean couldn't be more thankful for it. Thankful for jumping at the gun and allowing Cas to soul bond them. So he could see his wings. And finally, finally , realize his feelings were mutual. Cas loved him back. So every time they were intimate was a victory.

 Dean sat on Cas' lap while he deepened the kiss. Arms explored each other, like old lovers, reaching the place that made them gasp with pleasure. He pulled away only to start leaving kisses down Cas neck. The angel moaned softly into his ear, then pulled them both on the bed. Cas locked their legs together, rubbing his hips against Dean's and making him shiver and moan. He missed that, and there was no need for words. Dean merely stared into the deep ocean of Cas' eyes to know he was thinking the same things as him. Been a while since the last time they had sex. 

 Cas pulled away Dean's shirt, he, in retaliation, pulled down his pants. Then Dean started to throw everything on the ground. First Cas complained, especially when he threw the bee, but then he laughed when Dean so unnecessarily crawled over him to reach a drawer, seeking for lube. If he can still make his partner laugh that way, then everything's fine. 

 However once he had the lube bottle in hands, he froze. Cas watched his sudden hesitation with confusion. 

“What?”

“You won't,” this is stupid, “I mean,” Cas sat down in the bed, still watching him. This is absolutely stupid. “You won't get pregnant again if we have sex, right?”

“Dean, I cannot become any more pregnant than what I already am.”

“But are you sure?”

 For a second Cas only stared at his dumb ass. Cas opened his mouth to respond but then he laughed. And for a whole minute the angel just kept laughing. 

“I get it, I was an idiot.”

“Are you afraid,” more giggles, “that I'll give birth again and then I'll die in the ceiling just like-”

 Dean jumped on Cas, covering his mouth. “Don't finish this line!”

 Cas laughed even more. Dean was torn into feeling ashamed for being so stupid and being happy that Cas was laughing so carefree. After another minute, Dean just moved away. 

“Nevermind, I don't want to do it anymore,” said Dean in a tired tone. His face was burning, but the embarrassment was better than their arguments. 

 This piqued Cas's attention, and he quickly lost his laugh and his smile.

“We don't need to do anything you don't want to.”

 Dean scratched his neck. “What do you want to do?” He asked instead. Cas was the one pregnant with risk of life, not him. They might as well just do whatever pleases Cas more. 

“I don't really mind,” he said carefully, staring at Dean with his sincere blue eyes. “Sex feels good but I don't usually crave it. But since we are naked already, I guess we could touch? Orgasms help-”

“You don't need to finish this phrase either,” and now Dean was the one wanting to laugh. Thankfully for him, Cas did shut up. The last thing he needed now was to know the biological benefits of an orgasm. “Just… come here, I would like that.”

 Cas snuggled close, capturing his lips and pulling their bodies closer in the bed. They resumed the kissing, passionately. 

 Whatever tomorrow brings, tonight Dean was going to enjoy his partner's blissful heat. 

 Moving pots and pans, Dean mixed the ingredients into a bowl while making calculations in his mind. Fresh after a bath, clothed with an old Led Zeppelin black shirt and sweatpants, he was cooking them breakfast with a new found peace. Dean enjoyed cooking. He was happy to provide for the people in his life, it made him feel useful and it was a nice distraction from his thoughts. 

 As he was pouring the mixture into a pan, Cas came behind him to hug him, peeking from his shoulders. The angel smelled like his favorite soap. 

“I'm making pancakes. Are you hungry?”

“A little,” murmured Cas after humming. Dean hummed too - either Cas was starving or not hungry at all. Last night must have been relaxing for him as well. 

“Then I'll make extras for you!” He exclaimed happily, putting the fan over the stove. Cas kissed him on the cheek, before moving away to let him cook.

“Morning guys,” greeted Sam, entering the kitchen in his running clothes. 

“Hey Sammy.”

“Good morning, Sam. I'll be making the coffee then.”

“Roger that,” said Dean, focusing on his pancakes. 

 The smell of fresh brewed coffee soon perfumed the kitchen. While he cooked, Dean heard  his brother and Cas making some small chat. The girls were busy with something, but they were all fine. Sam brought some new groceries from his run, which Cas helped put away. Yes, Cas was fine. Sam laughed loudly when Cas asked when Eileen was moving in with them. This made Dean laugh too. They all liked Eileen: she was fun, both a strong woman and hunter, and was very down to earth. And she made his stupid brother very happy. Sam was always a flustered fool around her. And they had space. A ton of space in that old bunker. Eileen was going to be more than welcome. And it would be good for the baby to have a woman influence the whole growing up with the three men. What if she was a girl? They definitely need an auntie to raise a girl correctly. Dean wouldn't be able to explain anything about periods and shit like that and while Cas must know a lot, he would suck at explaining it to a little girl too. 

 Sam ended up making some stupid excuses for not inviting Eileen to live with them and Cas dropped the subject all together. Dean bought them the pancakes and syrups and Cas poured them the coffee. Now he wasn't busy anymore he saw Cas was wearing his clothes again. Today it was another of his sweatpants and a black and white flannel shirt. He couldn't be mad if the clothes fit him so well. All three had breakfast in a comfortable silence. Surprisingly, Dean was the one who ate the most, after weeks of Cas ending their food stock consecutively. It was almost like things were slowly going back to normal. More than once, Dean caught his brother looking from him to Cas with an odd expression.

“What?” he asked after the third time.

“Oh, nothing,” said Sam, then he half breathed, half laughed. “It's just… You two look really relaxed this morning.”

 Instead of replying, Dean meets Cas' eyes. His angel was sipping from his coffee, relaxed in his chair, unbothered. And Dean was feeling lighter than the previous days. Sam looked at them again and smiled. 

“Listen, I'm happy,” continued Sam. “I'm glad you guys managed to make up last night. It was annoying being the third wheel of your weird relationship for years but believe me when I say nothing is worse than when you two aren't speaking.”

“We didn't exactly-” Dean quickly grabbed Cas' tight, under the table, and sent him a pleading look. Cas blinked, tilting his head, as if Dean's actions would make more sense in 45°. After a moment, he seemed to get the message. “I guess we did make up,” he told Sam, with a smile.

“Yeah, we’re fine."

“It's okay to not agree with everything. Hell, me and Dean disagree on so much stuff. We spend half our time just fighting about the best course of action. It’s normal. You guys will handle it, whatever happens, I know it.”

“Thanks, Sam,” said Cas, his wings moving happily behind himself. Sam and Dean smiled at each other too. Dean was really lucky to have them as a family. 

 It was the middle of the day and Dean somehow lost track of his angel. It was after he had to leave for the bathroom, then he went back to their room to find it empty. Calmly, he left and almost passed right past Cas, before backtracking. Cas was staring at some point inside the baby’s room, arms crossed and completely still. Tiptoeing, Dean walked behind Cas until he was able to hug him from behind. The angel didn’t flinch. After a moment, Cas slowly relaxed and uncrossed his arms. Dean’s arms slid down until he could have them hanging by Cas’ belly. At times like this, Dean wished to hear his thoughts, know what his angel was thinking, so he could act accordingly. Relationships were so hard and Dean wasn’t exactly good at maintaining them. But if Cas didn’t want to share what was inside of his head, Dean wouldn’t pry; he was the one who was so adamant about Cas not reading his thoughts after all.

“Waddya thinking about?” Said Dean amidst the silence. Soon, the room would become familiar to baby cries and laughs and the hunter couldn’t decide if he wanted that day to come sooner or later. 

 Cas sighed. “Nothing, really,” that didn’t feel right. 

 Dean buried his head on Cas’s neck, humming. The safest thing to do would be dropping it. They were both worried and anxious messes. May once the baby is born and safe they get over this stressful stage. For now Dean just sighed and let his weight on Cas, using his body as a way to ground himself. One of the black wings moved closer to his body, the soft feathers moving along his body in a soothing way. 

“Do you think they’ll have wings too?”

“W-what?” Cas moved a little, startled. Dean chuckled, as he kept caressing Cas’ belly he wondered if the baby knew he was there. 

“The baby. Do nephilim have wings too?”

“That’s a very good question.”

“This is code for ‘I don’t know’, isn’t it?”

 Dean couldn’t see Cas but he knew he was rolling his eyes. 

“Forgive me for not knowing more about a forbidden hybrid,” the sarcasm was so evident in his tone Dean was almost proud. “But I was… Wondering about them too,” he added in a softer tone and held Dean’s hands.

 He wanted to say everything was going to be fine, that the baby was going to be born very healthy and with cute wings and nothing would come to take them from Dean and Cas. But the hunter couldn’t find his voice. Being scared shitless by himself was fine, it was normal, what he couldn’t stand was seeing Cas with so many lines of worry on his face, feeling a subtle, almost imperceptive tremor on his hands, on his wings. Dean was always acting strong for Sam at all times but he was tired . With Cas he found himself to be a little more vulnerable, a little more open. But after years and years of non-stop shit, Dean finally had a break, long enough to relax and let himself grow a real relationship, one that no one was forcing him to, only to see it threatened once again. It was tiresome and quite frankly, none of them deserved it. 

 Somewhere in his self loathing, he remembered how Cas said it wasn’t good for the baby to be under stress and how it sounded so baffling to him. But now Dean sees the vision. Being under such stress all the time really isn’t good for one’s health. 

“What do you think they’ll look like?” Said Dean suddenly, voice low, after a long time of silence. 

“Like a baby?” 

“No,” he laughed. Maybe he should have expected Cas to be too literal. “I mean, do you think the baby will look more like me or like you? Or, wait I know, with my eyes and your hair, I think it would look cute.”

“Oh,” then the angel hummed for a moment. “I hope they look like you.”

 Ah. Is it even possible to love you more than what I already do?  

“Well, I hope they look like you.”

 Cas chuckled, relaxing a bit more against Dean. How the kid ends up looking was pretty irrelevant, Dean just wanted to light up the mood and it worked. They chatted a bit more about the baby. Cas hoped they liked bees and animals and Dean said it would be nice to grow up with animals. He knew Cas once wanted a cat, though Dean was pretty much a dog person but he can manage. Cas also wanted them to have a normal life, go to school and have a house and Dean couldn’t agree more. His child should have the life he always wanted and he wasn’t letting anything stand in their way. As they talked, Dean noticed that yes, he wants the baby to be born sooner than later. 

 They were now standing face to face and Dean moved from Cas’ eyes to stare at his belly as he said “I can’t wait to meet you,” and he was sure his child was listening.

 It was late at night, with nothing to do, when Cas and Dean went together to the library. Dean had thought about resuming his angel biology research, but when Cas sat beside a pile of baby books, he had second thoughts. Sam was right in one thing, they weren't on the same page before. They may not even be on the same page now . But they weren't fighting or mad at each other, which was progress. So Dean took a deep breath and grabbed one of the baby books. Cas eyed him curious while Dean kicked his chair until it was right besides Cas'. They sit side by side in silence for a minute, Cas watching him browse through the pages.

“Have you read all of them already?” Dean pointed to the pile at his partner's side. There must be about six or seven books there. 

“Yes, I had. They are very educational,” Cas said with a smile. Then he raised the book in his hand. It was about young kids, ages two to four. “This is the last one I need to finish.”

“Nice.”

 And then they read in silence. One of Cas black wings reached Dean, the tips of the feathers tickled his skin. In moments like this, it was like only the two of them existed in the world.

 For about an hour, they stayed in the library, just reading. The moment of peace and happiness was shattered the second Dean felt a violent spike of pain on his stomach. He saw white, it was like someone had pierced him with a blade. 

“Fuck!” Cas screamed, twisted in pain. 

“Cas?” Dean jumped out of his chair the second he recovered from the pain. He kneed in front of Cas and reached for his face. Cas blinked tears from his eyes. 

“The baby cut the connection with my grace,” he said, deadly serious. 

“Wha- Wait, does that mean…?”

“ Don't panic.” Dean panicked. “I'll try to take the baby out of me now, while I still have force.”

  What does that mean? In the middle of his panicked state, just one thing managed to cross Dean's head.

“Sam? SAM!” He yelled at all the walls, then picked his phone to call his brother who was always on speed dial. His phone only rang twice. “SAM GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” 

 Cas grunt in pain besides Dean and he quickly forgot his phone. The angel was gritting his teeth while holding his stomach with both hands. With Dean's help, Cas sat on the floor, his back on the chair, and used his right hand to pierce his own abdomen. Dean's eyes widened when he saw the grace escaping between the layers of his partner's body. Cas screamed in pain while his arm dug deeper, eyes closed and his forehead furrowed. All Dean could do was watch in silence, heart beating wild on his chest, but he barely breathed. After a few seconds of watching Cas twisting in pain, his hand dropped, empty, his body still perfect. Cas took a deep breath, his body was becoming covered in sweat. His blue eyes blinked, seeking out Dean.

“Sorry but- as it turns out,” a pause,  Cas looked away, “I can't do it myself.”

 Dean's mouth opened and closed, his hands were shaking. Several footsteps approached, loud and urgent. The hunter turned away just in time to see his brother come running from the library door.

“Why did it take you so long?!” 

“I just went to grab a towel!” Said Sam, showing the grey bath towel he was carrying. Dean shrugged. “What happened? Is the baby coming?”

“No,” said Dean, feeling his hope abandon him.

“No?!” Sam jumped to Cas' other side. “What do you mean 'no'?!”

“The nephilim was stronger than what I expected,” said Cas' softly, his voice hoarse thanks to his tiredness and the screams. “I'm using all my strength to keep my body from killing the baby or letting it destroy me on their way out. I can keep my body stable long enough for someone else to take the baby out, but not for long.”

“What?” Dean twisted his whole body so he was now facing Cas. The most incredulous look on his face. “Then is it either them or you?” Cas nodded weakly, looking somewhat ashamed. 

 Nononononono . This isn’t happening, it can’t be happening. Everyone who enters Dean’s life leaves him. He’s a curse, a cancer. Sam almost died and had died so many times. Bobby almost died, then he died for real, but then they rescued him from Hell and only after he retired, the old man had been fine. Charlie almost died too. Cas died and came back. He can’t lose Cas again, not now, not never. The only constant in his life was Sam, protect Sam, keep Sam alive and well. Sam was his family. But now Cas was his family too. His boyfriend whom he was angel-married to, who loved him unconditionally. Only him. He was not letting Cas die again. Which means…

“Then kill it?” he suggested, sweating profusely as soon as the thought crossed his mind. 

“Kill the baby?!” Exclaimed Sam, equally incredulous. “Did you hear yourself speak, Dean?”

“It is either the baby or Cas and I know damn well who I am picking!” he screamed.

“Dean, please,” called Cas weakly, his eyes watering.  

“Please what? Let you die? No!”

“Dean, calm down! Do we have another option?” They were both yelling, the brother’s voices echoing through the old walls of the bunker. Sam looked down to Cas, searching for some counterpoint, a suggestion, anything. However, Cas was hit with another wave of pain and fell down to the ground. Dean couldn't tell if the pain in his chest was physical pain from their shared bond or just the emotional pain from seeing Cas so weak and in agony. It was both. 

 I don’t want to kill the baby.  

 Neither do I, buddy. But you’re not dying. Not on my watch. They both stared at each other intensely. The silence was deafening. Dean fought back tears and the lump on his throat. They had an option before. One that Dean didn't want. Taking Cas' grace so he could get the baby out. But it was too late. There was no way he was risking taking Cas' grace now , not when he needed all of his strength to not let the baby kill him. Which means they have to reach for desperate means. 

 Cas, please, what should I do?

  You know what you have to do, Dean. There is still one person that may help us.  

  Damn . Grabbing his phone from where he dropped it on the ground, Dean dialed a familiar number. Sam asked what he was doing but Dean ignored him. He didn't like it either. But it was the only way they had that could save both Cas and the baby. This better work. He better pick up! It wasn't like Dean wanted to kill his unborn child but he was not picking favorites with Cas. Cas is Cas, he can't afford to lose Cas. Not again. Not after everything. His head was spinning, his breath and heartbeat fast. It was like he was dying. At any second he was going to submit to the pain and drop down dead. Grabbing a table for support, he took a deep breath. Was the feeling of imminent death his or Cas’?  

“Squirrel? What mess have you got into now to have to call Daddy?” Said a silky and evil voice. 

“It’s an emergency. I need you here, right the fucking now!” He said, harsher than he liked. Crowley sighed. 

“I cannot go to the dreadful place where you live-” but before the king of Hell could finish his line, Dean told him the exact address and welcomed him in with a spell he had memorized if such a desperate situation ever happened. Sam began to scream for his brother to stop but it was already too late. “Hello boys. Where’s the fire?”

 Crowley had materialized in the middle of the library, in all his black suit glory. The demon was calm and arrogantly put together like usual. He took a few steps in, taking the sight before him before humming. 

“Feathers doesn't look so hot.”

 Dean almost rolled his eyes. All Cas did was send him a glare that could freeze Hell all over and Sam was looking between all three of them, lost. 

“There is a… Baby. Inside of Cas. Can you take it out?” Asked Dean, moving his arms up and down, whole trying to not sound too desperate. 

“A baby?” Crowley grimaced. “I'm not exactly a specialist on birthing angels.”

“Can you do it or not?” Pressed Dean, voice becoming louder again. They didn't have time for Crowley's bullshit right now. Cas was dying . Maybe Dean was dying too. It would be absolutely devastating for Sam to raise his child on his own. Dean couldn’t let that happen.  

 With an annoyed noise, Crowley stepped away from Dean and knelt beside Cas, who was breathing loudly on the floor, his clothes soaked with sweat. The demon pushed one of Cas' wings away so he could put two fingers over his body. He paused. When the demon moved his hand away, a second later, he smirked. 

“Oh, who would have thought? If Castiel isn't bearing a nephilim,” he said as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Then he sent a look at Dean. “But if Castiel is pregnant with a nephilim , that can only mean you're the lucky father .” 

 For a second, Dean was tempted to kill him. He took a long and deep breath instead, feeling his whole body shaking. Dean was not bending to his taunt, not today. Crowley only smiled wider before addressing Cas again. 

“Tell me angel, did you really think you were able to birth this thing yourself, or do you have a death wish?” The worst part is that the demon sounded actually curious. Cas kept glaring at him with a newfound strength. “We both know this isn't a child, it's a weapon. And you know it would be wiser if we kill it.”

 Cas opened his mouth and for a second no sound came off. “No,” he said resolutely. A second later, he gripped his abdomen with his arms, curling on the floor. Two more pairs of wings materialized from his back. The black feathers dulled, followed by several pairs of ghostly blue eyes. White and blue grace started to flow around Cas in a wild way, as if fighting an invisible enemy. A new surge of pain hit Dean, making him see white for a moment before he got back to his senses.

“CAN YOU HELP HIM OR CAN YOU NOT?” Screamed Dean.

 Losing all of his patience, he rushed to grab Crowley by the collar of his suit. Crowley blinked at him, surprised by his violent outbreak. A second later, Sam came to take Dean away from the demon. His brother gripped his arms and dragged him away. Sam tried to talk his brother down, but Dean was long past listening to whatever Sam had to say about it. Crowley just gave him a glare, before turning back to watch Cas squirming on the floor. 

“This is going to cost you,” warned Crowley.

“I’lll do anything,” said Dean immediately.

“Dean!” Yelled Sam.

“Shut up, Sam,” Dean struggled off Sam’s grip and walked away long enough until falling to his knees beside Cas'. “I'll do anything if you take that thing out of Cas without killing him,” repeated Dean, deadly serious, while maintaining eye contact with Crowley. The demon didn't need any more encouragement. 

“Deal,” he smiled, before piercing Cas' body with his right hand. 

 Once more Cas' whole body twisted in pain. Dean held one of his hands while Crowley reached deeper inside of the angel. Cas gritted his teeth to not scream and started to crush Dean's hand with his death grip. The Winchester didn't dare to move: one broken hand was nothing close to the pain Cas was feeling. Flashes of Cas' real form were becoming more visible: the unsettling eyes on the wings, the white halo. If his eyes were open, they would be pure and bright blue. Time stood still while Crowley tried to reach the nephilim. Then Cas' whole body started to glow in white and gold and Dean closed his eyes.

 A blinding white covered the whole room for a few seconds. At first, Dean couldn't hear anything, but then an incessant buzzing in his ears started to bother him until it was damn-near unbearable. And finally, the sound of what felt like every single lightbulb on the bunker breaking at once, at the max volume. And suddenly his hearing was back.

 Once the clarity subsided, the hunter peaked an eye open. Cas was breathing fast on the floor, pretty much alive, and his body was losing the dangerous glow. Together with the glow, the eyes and halo started to dim until they disappeared. Turning his head slowly, Dean saw the figure of Crowley holding a baby by his left arm, near the shoulder. That was definitely not a way to hold a baby, let alone a newborn, but what actually caught his attention was the baby's little angel wings on his back. They were very tiny and featherless. 

 Both Crowley, Dean and Sam stared dumbfounded at the baby. Like it was the xenomorph from Alien, but it looked no different from a human baby with featherless chicken wings. And no humans but Dean could see his kid’s wings too. Cas' hand slipped from Dean's hold and he immediately turned to his partner.

“Cas?” He called, touching his partner’s face with his good hand. The hand Cas crushed was numb. The angel blinked once, before closing his eyes and sighing. The pain in the bottom of Dean's stomach was relieving. The bond was less heavy. And Dean was utterly tired. Cas even more so. His angel was tired but still alive. A sob left him, two tears fell on Cas’s face. Suddenly, the baby cried, making Dean's heart jump on his chest and his ears hurt. 

“Thanks Crowley. Now give me the baby,” said Sam seriously, over the crying. 

 The demon raised an eyebrow to Sam. Then he held the baby with both hands, still not very careful, while grimacing as if he was dirty or poisonous, and inspected the crying baby like it was a thing . Dean wanted to say something. Take his child from the demon's filthy hands, but he felt so exhausted he couldn't move. Cas was weak and holding heavily on Dean's soul to recover. How he managed to fuck this much over his own kid birth was beyond him. 

“Give. Me. The. Baby,” repeated Sam, very emphatic, showing him the towel covering his hands.

“As much as it would be interesting to be in possession of such a creature,” started Crowley sinisterly, while the baby cried louder in his arms and started to trash around. “I think I'll take my chances with the father,” he winked at Dean, who felt his stomach drop and a shiver down his snipe. Unceremoniously, Crowley dumped the baby over Sam's hands, making the man gasp and move quickly to hold them properly and wrap the baby in the towel. “I'll be in touch, Dean. Congratulations, Castiel. Moose,” offered Crowley, before vanishing. 

 For the first time in what felt like decades, Dean sighed with relief. Most of the tension disappeared from his shoulders. Sam cradled the baby in his arms, trying to ease them enough to lower the cries. After a moment, Sam smiled at his brother and crawled to his side. 

“Congratulations guys, it's a boy,” announced Sam, offering the baby boy for Dean to hold. 

 Finally he could see his child's face. It was a chubby baby, less tan than Cas but not as pale as Dean, with a few strands of golden hair on the top of his little head. He didn't look like any of them, but then again, babies normally look like knees for a while. A pretty knee, with tiny ears and a cute nose. Dean hesitated for a moment, contemplating if it was really the right thing to do. He never felt less prepared to be a father before. The baby would need him and Cas for a long time, he was going to raise another kid and it was his kid. It was going to be different from Sam; Sam was his brother, they had a father to look up to. Now it is truly just him and Cas. But then his little baby sneezed and he was overcome with some protective instinct. 

 The man sat down beside his brother and accepted the baby in his arms, trying to not put much weight on his broken hand. Immediately, Dean coddled his son. Little by little, the crying lost strength.

“Hey little one, Dad's here,” he whispered to his son, voice low and gentle. The baby blinked a few times, recognizing the voice and actively looking for it. Once he focused on Dean with his eyes more open, Dean noticed how blue his son’s eyes were. As blue as Cas' eyes. And oh, he is gorgeous. Dean felt so happy and relieved that any previous impulse of killing his child to save Cas evaporated. Dean smiled, his eyes watering again, and he looked at Sam, who had the biggest grin on his face. They nodded at each other. Their little family has grown again.

 Slowly, Sam and Dean helped Cas sit down between them, his back against the chair for support. It took him a few moments to gather himself. Weakly, Cas let his weight on Dean's shoulders as he peeked at his child, resting on Dean's arms.

“It’s a boy and he has your eyes,” Dean said proudly. He watched as Cas held a finger to softly touch the baby's forehead. The little nephilim widened his eyes, in a shocked way. Dean chuckled at how silly it was. Babies really don't have any concept of anything. Not even half angels.

“He's perfect,” muttered Cas in awe, “and healthy,” he sighed in relief. Then his finger touched softly at his son’s face, feeling his little nose and cheeks. Their son only had eyes on Cas, clearly recognizing his father after spending such a long time inside of him. “Jack. His name is Jack,” he declared. 

“Jack Winchester. That's a good name,” said Sam, giggling excited. 

 Dean smiled as he watched his son calmly in his arms. “Jack, it is,” and he turned his face to kiss Cas, before he passed out on top of them, startling the baby.

Chapter Text

Hours after the messiest, most unforgettable childbirth Dean had ever witnessed, he sat down at the kitchen table, watching Sam clear the rest of the dishes from lunch. Jack was finally asleep on his lap. The brothers had given him a bath (Crowley touched him after all, who knows what kinda germs Hell has) and put diapers and clothes on him. Dean was not mistaken: Jack was slightly too big for a newborn, the clothes fit him perfectly well, and he was about to lose a lot of clothes very fast. They put him in pastel blue clothes, socks and gloves. The gray towel was traded for one of his white blankets with angels embroidered — Charlie thought it was both hilarious and cute. And well, it was cute, his son looked so cute. 

 The baby cried until it was fed by the baby formula they bought and Dean hoped he was not allergic to them. Only after Jack was happily clean, fed and quiet did Dean allow himself to eat some of the vegetarian lunch Sam cooked for them. He couldn't care less about the healthy food, he was too tired and anxious to even feel hunger.

 Cas was dragged to their room right after passing out on the floor, seconds after meeting Jack. Neither of the brothers wanted to bother him, so they left the angel to rest on his bed. The angel didn't have time or strength to fix Dean's hand so he had to ask Sam to wrap it with bandages and he took a strong painkiller. Good thing he was used to injuries such as this and had a high pain tolerance. 

 Even after knowing everything was fine now, Dean still had that sickening feeling on the bottom of his stomach. He could have done things different. Once again he was in debt with Crowley which was never a good thing, no matter how many times the demon had helped them. Besides, he had a son to look after now. It was not the time for hunts or doing demons favors. 

 As if sensing his troublesome feelings, Sam sat down at the table with him. He glanced at Jack and smiled, seeing the baby now napping peacefully. His phone was in his hands, but Sam decided to give his attention to his brother. 

“You know, you did the right thing.”

“Did I?” Dean laughed with disdain. 

“We were out of options,” said Sam, more serious. “Cas and Jack are fine and it isn’t the first time we have dealt with Crowley. It's fine , Dean. You can relax now.”

 Dean shook his head. “I still think I could have done something differently, Sammy,” he admitted, avoiding his brother’s comprehensive eyes to watch his sleeping son.

“Didn’t we all? The future is full of possibilities and we can’t see the future, Dean. We made bigger fuck ups before and it all eventually turned out fine. This will turn out fine too,” and he tapped him on the shoulder. Dean glanced at his brother, meeting his most sincere eyes, and nodded. No point stressing over the past now. He’ll deal with Crowley in all due time, just like he always did. “I need to tell the girls to stop looking for an angel to help us now. What should I tell them?”

 For a second, Dean just stared at Sam, not quite understanding what he meant. Then realization felt over him and he let out a ‘oh’ sound. 

“Don’t tell them about Crowley,” Sam nodded, tapping someone’s number on his phone. “Thanks, Sam. I meant it.”

“Don’t worry, Dean,” he smiled, then stood to speak with whoever was on the other line. “Hey! I have great news, the baby was born! Yeah. Right? It’s a boy, his name is Jack, by the way-”

 And he walked away. Dean took a deep breath, staring at the ceiling, before moving away too. 

 He found Cas lying face down on the bed, just like they left him. Both of his wings fell to the ground on both sides of the bed, like blankets. Making as little noise as possible and avoiding stepping on the wings, Dean moved until he could stand besides Cas’ sleeping figure. His face was more relaxed and he was breathing evenly. No more sweat on his skin either. There was barely any place in the bed for him, so he slowly sat on the corner of the bed until he could grab Cas’ head and let it rest on his lap. The angel barely registered the sudden move and kept sleeping like a rock. Dean rested his back on the wall behind him and looked around, unsure about what to do. Jack was sleeping in his crib in the next room and both doors were open. Sam was calling everyone to tell them the news, just as excited as everyone when they heard about Jack. The exhaustion of the day was getting to Dean, but he found himself incapable of sleeping. His hands caressed Cas’s hair while he waited for time to pass. 

“Oh my gosh, he’s so cute!” Charlie exclaimed once she found enough courage to hold the baby. Dean didn’t blame her for being careful and scared. It took her a while, then he helped Charlie to hold Jack properly. Once the baby was in her arms, she smiled radiantly. “Oh, I’m going to be the best aunt and godmother! We are going to play so many games together, little Jacky!”

 The girls had arrived a while ago, with pizzas and a pie. But they barely touched the food, more excited to meet Jack for the first time. Both Eileen and Charlie were enchanted. Now they were all in Jack's room. Dean had changed his diapers for the first time before letting Charlie hold his son. However the baby’s face started to furrow and he started to cry. Charlie panicked and started to move around but all it did was to make Jack cry louder. His room's new replaced lamp broke over Sam’s head.

 Dean went to get Jack back while consoling a heartbroken Charlie. 

“He’s young, maybe he doesn't like strangers yet.”

“It’s fine, Dean,” Charlie waved a hand. “It was nice while it lasted,” she said over the crying, trying to show less hurt than what she felt. 

“I’m sure he’ll get used to us later,” said Sam, tapping his clothes, looking for broken glass. “That was our last lamp, wasn’t it?”

“Unfortunately,” murmured Dean, soothing his son into stopping crying. It was working, slowly. Cas wasn’t lying when he said he would recognize his parents. Though, he didn’t make a fuss when Sam held him earlier.

“How many lamps are broken?” Asked Eileen.

“Oh, all of them,” both Eileen and Charlie stared at Sam, speechless. The man just shrugged. “Angels, dude. The whole place was in chaos right after Jack was born. It took a while to even fix the emergency system.”

“Wow, so small and so powerful,” commented Charlie, while looking at Jack and trying to imagine how he even managed to do it. 

 Dean, unfortunately, was very used to angels destroying everything electric around him. He just wished some lamp remained so they wouldn’t have to walk in corridors washed in red lights and shadows. It was a bit creepy. 

“We can fix it tomorrow,” said Eileen and they all nodded. It was late anyway. 

 Jack's first night on Earth was a nightmare. The baby was the type who slept during the day and cried all night long for no reason. Stomach cramps, probably, and nothing made it pass. Dean tried to sing, massage and soothe his son in all ways he could think off and nothing calmed him down. Sam tried to as well, with similar results. Both Eileen and Charlie tried to help too, but Jack simply cried even harder when one of the women held him. At some point, Dean simply sat down on the couch of Jack's room with his crying son screaming his lungs out and waited. Far too tired to care. His head was pulsing, his arms were starting to feel numb. Every time he put a pacifier on his mouth, Jack spit it away. During that cold and dark night, what Dean missed the most was Cas by his side. 

 The calm water reflected the clear sky above. Almost no clouds to be seen. The fishing rod was perfectly still in his hand. Fresh wind came from the east, messing his hair and carrying away dead leaves. From the dike, all Dean saw was the vast lake and the clear sky. The day could only be more perfect if he caught a few more fishes, so they would have a feast later. A laugh came from his right and he smiled. Cas was wearing his favorite trench coat even in the hot weather. The feathers from his majestic wings moved along the wind. In his hand, the angel held a little plastic boat that belonged to the blond kid near him, sitting on the edge of the lake. His eyes were as blue as the sky and as blue as Cas'. He loved it. 

 Dean jolted awake, instinctively flexing his arms and back. He froze as he felt something soft on his arms and looked down. Jack was awake, staring curiously at his father. No longer crying, but also not sleeping. Taking a few long breaths, Dean looked around, it was still very dark and he couldn't find his watch. God, he fell asleep holding Jack, that was dangerous. Calmer, Dean tried to recall his dream. Been a while since he had a nice dream. It looked like the lake he went to fish with his father once, a lifetime ago. But he was with Cas and Jack, though Jack looked older, maybe three. Now he was awake, Dean wondered if he could make that dream a reality. Could be some family vacation, the three of them, fishing by a lake, without a care about the world. Dean was so tired of saving the world. 

 Since Jack was calm, Dean tried to put him back on his crib but the baby started to make noise immediately. Dean held him in his arms again and his son went silent. Nice. He felt like a kangaroo. Feeling too awake, Dean paced around the room, then peaked at his own room. Cas was still sleeping in the same position. He went to the kitchen, drank some water, found out it was a little after five in the morning, then went back to his room, deciding it was too early to wake anyone else. Dean was the father, he is the one who should suffer with no sleep, after all. 

 Instead of going back to Jack's room, he stopped at his own room, watching Cas. It had  barely been a day but Dean was missing him so much. He was a wreck, he would never be able to raise the kid if he lost Cas. Jack moved in his embrace, starting to make noises again. 

“What?” he asked his son, very low, near his ear. Jack made another sound Dean couldn't decipher and started to move his arm towards Cas. “Oh. Do you miss your dad? Of course you do. I miss him too.”

 Avoiding the wings, Dean moved around the bed and sat down near Cas' head again. Jack kept struggling on his arms, trying to get himself free. 

“Hey, stop, Jack. Cas' sleeping,” he murmured to his son. 

“Dean?”

 His eyes went wide. It was barely a whisper, and yet felt so powerful. Dean almost jumped on his place, immediately searching for Cas' face. His partner had one eye open. 

“Cas? You okay?!” Slowly, one wing moved away, then Cas' grunted before moving to lay on his back. “You don't need to-”

“I'm fine,” he grunted, which Dean didn't believe for a second. The angel still had bags under his eyes, his voice was deep and coarse with tiredness. With his wings out of the way, Cas raised his arms. “May I?”

 Dean stared down, then looked at the baby in his lap. Jack had both arms stretched towards Cas, clearing trying to reach his other father. Since both wanted it, Dean moved closer to Cas and let him hold their son. Jack smiled at Cas immediately, and so did Cas. The way they stared at each other could only be read as love . Cas hugged Jack, holding him with both arms, letting his son's head rest against his neck and kissed his head. After a moment, never stopping smiling, Cas looked back at his partner.

“How was everything after I passed out? Did he give much trouble?”

“Oh no, I mean-” Dean smiled, then shuttered. “He kind of cried the whole night,” he grimaced, now feeling very sleepy. 

“Ah.”

“But he was doing good. Like. He's a pretty normal baby, I don't think we have anything to worry about Jack!” Dean waved dismissively, feeling a sparkle of pain run through his hand. Cas tilted his head, suspicious. After a second, he stared at Dean's broken hand. “He destroyed all the lightbulbs too. Of the whole Bunker.”

“I see. He's very powerful,” said Cas, as if Dean hadn't noticed yet. “I'm sure the lights won't be a problem for long. Jack's not used to having a corporeal form,” then he looked over at the baby who moved on his chest, trying to crawl out already, as if to make sure he was indeed flesh and blood. After a beat of silence, Cas moved a hand towards Dean to hold his injured hand. “What happened to your hand?”

“You,” he laughed when Cas jerked away. “You gripped my hand a little too hard when you were… You know,” he avoided the angel's eyes. 

“My apologies, Dean. I didn't notice-”

“It's fine, really. You don't have to heal it either. Save your strength.”

“Nonsense, this is nothing,” and Cas stubbornly grabbed Dean's hand with his fingers. The touch was delicate and Dean watched as a soft white glow irradiated from Cas' fingers and tickled his hand. In a couple of seconds, Dean felt no more pain and flexed his no cured hand. 

“Thanks.” 

 Cas smiled lovingly at him, a moment before turning his eyes to watch their newborn son. Moving again in the bed, Cas changed to a more comfortable position, holding Jack with both arms. Dean watched his partner getting cozy with his son before deciding to move closer to them. 

“I'm still very tired,” said Cas with a yawn. “My body is still not fully recovered from the childbirth.”

“I can bet you are,” said Dean, then he frowned. “It's only tiredness, right?” Dean reached to touch his soft hair, sitting right beside his partner. Cas smiled and nodded, before shifting his attention to the baby over his chest. He held their son a little over his face. 

“I'm very happy to see you again, Jack, but we all should sleep a little, don't you think?” Obviously, the baby didn't reply. Jack didn't cry either. “Good, let's sleep, Jack,” Cas didn't waste any time to fix his son over his chest. 

 Seeing him so carefree again made Dean relax. He laid down next to Cas and covered the three of them with the blanket. The hunter twisted his body enough to kiss Cas. 

“Good to hear your voice again, partner.”

“The feeling is mutual, Dean,” said Cas loveling. “Try to rest. You did well today. I can watch over Jack for a while.”

 The human didn't have to be told twice. Dean closed his eyes and sleep washed over him. Before losing consciousness, he felt Cas' feathers tickling his skin and wondered if he would dream with them at the lake again. 

 The soft mumbing of Metallica filled the air of the kitchen. An empty baby bottle was left over the sink, together with water and the powder. While Dean paced around the room holding Jack close to his neck and chest, he wished the place had a window or a clock. Maybe they should buy a wall clock. Despite his insistence of only needing four hours of sleep, it was no longer sufficient. Dean felt like he slept for two hours max, but when he heard Sam's footsteps coming he noticed it could only be between seven and eight in the morning. He definitely got between four and five hours but he still felt like a forgotten cracker or a pile of carelessly put together jenga pieces. A breeze or jab and he would crumble. 

 Sam greeted Dean cheerfully and smiled at the baby as he walked the kitchen. Immediately, he was taking utensils and ingredients for breakfast. The humming continued, with a different song, while Dean kept his right arm under Jack's weight and the left one caressing his back and head. It’s been a couple minutes since the last time he jerked or made a sound. His little baby was close to falling asleep, he could feel it. Meanwhile, Sam had put eggs on a pan and turned on the coffee marker. Ever so slowly, Dean stopped his pacing, legs heavy like cement. When Sam caught his gaze Dean tried to point at a nearby chair, moving his head and the tips of some fingers. Always so helpful, Sam moved a chair for Dean without making a sound. Very, very slowly, Dean sat down, his muscles both yelling and thanking him for relaxing. He kept still for a moment, ears focused on his son. His hand on Jack's head stopped moving and he waited. A minute later, without any sounds and only feeling his son’s soft breathing, Dean sighed and relaxed. 

 Dean really appreciated how his brother was trying to not make any loud noises while cooking. The smell of coffee and eggs was awakening his hunger. 

“You're quite good at it,” commented Sam from the oven, his voice was thankfully very quiet too. 

“Muscle memory,” he whispered, feeling the very soft strands of hair from Jack's head. His hair was a very light blonde, but as the babies grow, their hair usually becomes darker. 

 He never lied when saying he helped take care of Lisa's nephew, but that wasn't his only experience with babies and toddlers. When he was still a kid, Dean liked to help take care of his baby brother. It made him feel useful, prideful even, when he made Sam sleep or changed his diapers. Never once did Dean regret it: raising Sam and protecting Sam were two of his highest accomplishments. But now pushing forty, Dean realizes this isn't a kid's responsibility. They should have had their goddamn father taking care of both of them, not John delegating Sam and Dean's care to others and, even worse, to Dean himself. The second he starts acting like his father, Dean needs someone to shoot him. 

 No matter how much he wanted to lay down and pass out for hours, Cas was in a worse state than him, after pushing his pregnancy to the last possible second and almost dying in the process. And Sam had nothing to do with the two idiots who somehow managed to get an accidental pregnancy while being both men. No, Jack was his responsibility and Dean was going to be a responsible father for him, no matter how much he struggles or becomes tired. Leaving his kid at the care of others wasn't going to be a reality in this timeline.

“How's Cas?” Sam whispered while he put the food for both of them. There was toast, eggs, jelly and coffee, that was enough for now. 

“Woke up for a little last night. Been sleeping again ever since.” 

 With the most care in the world, Dean moved Jack around, until the baby was safely sleeping over his left arm, so now he had his right hand free to eat.

“Was he any better?”

“Stupid angel healed my hand,” he complained while adding sugar to his coffee. “I could see how it drained him.”

 Sam shook his head, a sad smile on his face. “Typical Cas. I'm sure he should be waking up again later today or tonight.”

“Hope so."

 The brothers ate and drank in silence for a couple of minutes. Sam finished his breakfast first, since Dean only had one hand and limited movement to not wake his son. While he finished, Sam reminded Dean how Jody and the girls wanted to make a big lunch this week and meet Jack and that Bobby wanted to meet the baby too. Dean didn't mind going to Jody's or Bobby's place, but he wanted to make sure Cas was recovered first, so they agreed on letting the girls know once Cas was feeling well enough to leave the bunker. If Dean had to guess, by tomorrow the stubborn angel would be adamant about being well enough, though he had his doubts. Jack was just a newborn, and he may be a half angel but they didn't know if he could get human illnesses. A baby was still a baby and babies were extremely delicate. Both him and Sam were pretty healthy as toddlers but he would like to avoid any risks, if possible. Luckily, they had Cas, who was still an angel, and could cure their baby or, at the very least, know what may be wrong with him if he gets sick. 

 After breakfast, Dean put Jack in his crib and the baby didn't wake up. Relief flooded Dean and he took advantage of his limited time of freedom to use the bathroom and take a bath. If he's lucky, he may even sleep a few more hours before Jack eventually wakes up again. 

Chapter Text

Having a baby is like always being the center of attention. As if you had some rare creature or perhaps a giant bar of gold on your arms. That's how Castiel felt like when they left the bunker to visit their family. Everyone wanted to see and hold Jack. And though angel's shouldn't feel jealous and Castiel was never the jealous type, he certainly didn't like seeing anyone but Dean or Sam hold his son. Jack didn't like strangers either, he cried easily. 

 Not jealous, he later realized, it was some primal parental overprotectiveness that spread from his core for his spawn. It was irrational, he knew it, they were all his friends and family, and still, he glared at everyone who held Jack for even a second. Jack was not completely safe with anyone but him, Sam or Dean. Luckily, Castiel was a very controlled angel that kept his irrational thoughts to himself to not hurt his family's feelings. 

 They visited Bobby Singer first. The old hunter had retired after a series of very unfortunate events. Castiel, the Winchesters, Eileen and Charlie made a surprise visit to Bobby’s place. The hunter was shocked, and very emotional. At first, he was even afraid to hold Jack, but Dean insisted, calling him grandpa , and Bobby almost crumbled. Though Castiel was still recovering, he and the others had a pretty great time. Most of what he did was hold and take care of Jack, but it was fine too, he was surrounded by his most dear people and glad that Jack would grow up with a family. Bobby looked a bit reluctant first, but he soon got used to the idea of being Jack’s grandpa. When they said their goodbyes, Bobby was both happy and sad to see them leaving. 

 The next day they had lunch at Jody's. Both she and Donna insisted on making lunch for the whole family and to welcome Jack. In the afternoon, the group sat down in her living room and chatted. Jack was beginning to fall asleep after eating when he suddenly started to cry and move restlessly in Castiel's lap. It was only a few days after he was born, but Castiel could already tell Jack was having stomach pain only by looking at his involuntary muscle spasms.

“Evolution failed you humans. The only food babies eat causes them huge amounts of intestinal pain,” said Castiel seriously as he healed Jack, pressing two fingers over his little belly. The baby soon stopped twisting and crying. Every time, Jack would blink confused at Castiel. He always found it fun even though he has to heal Jack every couple of hours. No matter what they do, or even try to give him donated human milk, Jack always ends up with cramps. Sadly, it was to be expected. A young angel would never give them this much work, but Castiel was happy to raise his son in the human way.

“My son used to have some bad ones when he was very young,” said Jody, looking at Jack and smiling. “But they get a lot better after six months.”

“Six months…” murmured Dean, unhappy.

“It passes quickly!” Jody laughed. 

“And we have Cas to heal Jack,” reminded Sam, with a smile. 

 They soon changed the subject to clothing. Babies lose clothes super fast. Jack already had clothes that were becoming tight. While Castiel was happy his son was growing fast and healthy, he also understood raising babies is extremely costly and no one was exaggerating about the number of diapers he needed to change.

 Claire, who was very bored with the conversation, eventually tapped Castiel on the shoulder. She had a nervous smile as she asked if she could hold Jack for a little. The baby was sleeping peacefully in his arms and Claire was sitting right next to him, so he smiled and said yes. He helped Claire hold the baby; she was careful but also afraid of doing something wrong. The young woman held Jack as if he was made of crystal and barely breathed for a minute. Castiel controlled himself to not laugh, which means he had a goofy smile as he watched the kids. For a miracle, Jack didn't notice or didn't care about losing his father's heat and kept sleeping on Claire's arms. With time, she started to gain more confidence to relax her muscles a little. 

“Never thought I would have a brother,” said Claire, voice above a whisper, watching Jack with wonder. 

“Do you see Jack as your brother?” Said Castiel, legitimately surprised. Claire stared back at him, equally surprised. “I don't know how much being in this body influenced Jack's blood, but I wouldn't be surprised if you two are related in a way.”

“Do you have to give everything a very detailed explanation, Castiel?” She raised her eyebrows. The angel didn't know how to answer. 

“Yes?”

 Claire snorted, more tension leaving her body. 

“I wanted a brother or sister once,” she revealed, smiling at Jack and touching his cheek “But mother had a few issues after I was born and couldn't be pregnant again. I abandoned that wish early on.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Claire rolled her eyes. “That one is not on you. But, what I wanted to say… Is that I kind of feel like that old dream came true. I have this… Really weird family now,” she said smiling, and shrugging, as if it was no big deal. “So I guess I also have a kind of little brother.”

Castiel couldn't hide his smile. He never thought he would hear Claire call them her family so soon. If ever, especially in front of him. He could only pray her parents were watching and being the happiest for her. 

“You can be Jack's sister, if you want to, Clarie.”

“Thanks,” Claire gave him a smile and bumped her shoulders on Castiel, before giving her attention back to the sleeping baby. Her chest was light and full of happiness too. He was proud of how far Claire had come. As long as she was happy and safe, it was enough for him. But this was something more, it was better. Castiel made many mistakes and caused a lot of suffering and problems before. However, with time, he fixed most of them. And his relationship with Claire was healing as well. It was more than what he deserved and he was not going to take it for granted. Claire was not his daughter and he didn't have to be her father, but nothing was stopping him from stepping up to be her father if Claire wanted. And he was not stopping her from being Jack's sister.

They spent hours chatting and eating snacks. Claire ended up holding Jack for a long time, until her arms were tired and the nephilim was put in his little baby carriage. Jody gave them a lot of tips for baby raising and offered her help. Same with her partner, Donna. 

“Do babies really grow up that fast?” said Castiel, putting away another jumper that was too small.

“Uhh…” Dean murmured incomprehensibly. “Maybe not that fast?”

 They lost all the baby clothes. All of them. In ten days. Currently, Jack laid on his little crib with only his diaper and a bib. The baby was chubby and everyone said he was too big for his age. They still had to bring him to a doctor but he had no documents and was very healthy. He just didn’t look like a newborn, at all. The last diaper they had was also tight on him.

“Do nephilim grow up faster?” Asked Dean, using a metric tape to size Jack. The baby laughed when his dad touched him, tickling his soft skin. Dean smiled at him.

“I don’t know and I doubt anyone can help us,” said Castiel with a sad sigh. He doubted Heaven had any useful information about nephilim. “Newborn angels, the ones gestated by other angels and not created by God, grow very fast. They only stay in an infant form for a few days and reach adulthood in about a month.”

“Holy shit,” said Dean, surprised. “What if we like… Don’t buy a lot of clothes, just to have some idea of how fast Jack loses them?” Suggested Dean, trying to focus back on their real problem. “I’m going to measure him daily, he isn’t two weeks old and we are already out of clothes.”

“I guess that’s all we can do now.” Aside from the abnormal speed of Jack’s growth, there was nothing odd about him. He behaved just like the human babies from all the books he read before he was born. His tiny pair of wings didn’t change much either, but now they had some plumage. They were too small for flying and would be for a few years. The plumage wasn’t made of flying feathers either. His little feathers were gray with some very visible golden spots. Dual color on wings was incredibly rare on angels; he only met one angel with different shades of brown in his wings before, his good friend Balthazar. But two completely different colors were new to him. Must be part of his mixed genetics. Though the gold made him a little nervous, that was the color of archangels wings. Castiel never saw the golden wings as a symbol of their massive powers but that may be the real motive for no other angel also having golden wings. He hadn’t even told Dean yet: his partner already had a lot to worry about their son, that information could wait a little more.

“Do you want to stay while I shop with Sam or would you rather have me stay?”

Before Dean could answer, his phone rang. He picked it up and once seeing who the caller was, Dean’s whole likeness changed. Completely serious, he picked the call and walked away from the room. Castiel stared at him in shock, Dean never did that before. Castiel looked over Jack, making sure he was okay in his crib.

“Stay right here, Jack, I need to talk to your father for a moment,” he informed the baby, who stayed quiet, sucking on his hand. 

Castiel dashed out of the room, looking for Dean. Since he was impatient, he followed the bond to the war room. Just one person would have made Dean act that way. Inside of the war room, he found Dean speaking with Sam, a laptop opened between them. The second he heard the angel, Dean stopped talking. 

“Who called?”

 The hunter hesitated. “It was…”

“Dean, you should tell him the truth,” he glared back at Sam and that was all confirmation Castiel needed.

“It was Crowley, wasn’t it?”

 Dean took a deep breath. “Yes, fine, it was Crowley. He got a lead on Rowena. Wants me to kill his dearest mother.” 

Figured . Crowley and Rowena kept trying to kill each other, forever stuck in a game of cat and mouse. A witch as vile as Rowena would definitely go to Hell, where Crowley would be able to torture her for eternity to get rid of his mommy issues. 

“Alright, what do we know and how are we planning to catch her?”

“ ‘We?’ ” Repeated Dean, both confused and surprised. “No Cas, me and Sam will handle Rowena. One of us has to take care of Jack.”

“I’m an angel. I can fly,” he deadpanned. “There’s plenty of people to watch over Jack for a few days.”

“No, we ,” he pointed to himself and Sam, “handle it,” Dean insisted, much to Castiel’s annoyance. Turning to Sam, the younger Winchester raised his hands in a peace gesture. “Listen Cas, I made the deal, that was my decision, I’ll fulfill my part of it. Rowena is hardly the worst thing I had to hunt. You just stay with Jack, okay?”

He wasn’t leaving any space for dialogue. It was final. And it pissed Castiel off. He never liked to be benched. Baby or no baby, he is perfectly capable of helping the Winchester and flying back a few times to make sure his son was doing okay. And yet, Dean was urging him to stay off. 

“You only made that deal because I was incapable of birthing Jack by myself, I am as responsible as you. You don’t have to placate me or tell me to stay out. I can help,” he said firmly, stepping closer, until he was right in front of Dean, and ruffling his wings. His partner didn’t flinch, but he did take a long inhale of air. 

“It is my mess and I plan to fix it myself,” retorted Dean. “You don’t have to do a thing, you stay with our son because I trust you to keep him safe. And I keep both of you safe.”

 Castiel squinted his eyes, his shoulder tensing. “Are you ordering me?”

“Guys, guys,” Sam put himself between the couple, separating them and breaking the tension. “Fighting won’t get us anywhere,” he announced loudly, looking from one to the other, his eyes shaking. “We still need to track Rowena, we’ll do it together, see where she is hiding, work a plan and then we see how we’ll act, okay?” 

 Dean turned away from Castiel’s icy glare. 

“Then let’s do it,” he said coldly. “If Rowena finds out we are on her tail, who knows where she’s going next. The quicker we kill the bitch, the faster Crowley gets out of our asses again.”

“Fine,” Castiel turned away too, in the opposite direction. “I’ll check on Jack and be right back.” 

“Alright, good,” said Sam trying to lift the mood. “I’ll work on what Crowley sent us.”

 Dean and Castiel didn’t speak again for the rest of the day.

Chapter Text

Stupid self sacrificing Dean.

After a few days of investigations, the Winchesters found Rowena’s possible localization. She, more than likely, had a coven, and yet, Dean insisted Castiel stayed out of it. To say he was mad was an understatement. He was livid . They fought almost everyday, never reaching an agreement because Dean wanted to make his part of the deal alone. It ended up with Dean going away with Sam and Castiel going to Jody’s place with Jack. Because he was not going to stay in that huge bunker alone with an infant. The worst part, because of the bond, the anger never went away. They were both mad at each other and it doubled with the bond. The distance only weakened it a little, enough for Castiel to forget about his anger at Dean when he was too busy taking care of their son. But as soon as everything was quiet and his mind was free to wander, it went right back to the anger. And he expected Dean to be handling it worse. Truly madness, God takes pity on Sam. 

Lucky for Cas, the girls were delighted to have him stay for a few days with Jack. Donna was currently on vacation so she was staying as well. It was like Jack had two grandmothers to pamper him and two half sisters to help Castiel. Honest he wasn’t too much work for a baby. The biggest problem was how Jack was nocturnal. Slept most of the day and wanted to stay awake and cry all night long. Cas prayed the change of ambience wouldn’t be too rough on their first night outside of the Bunker.

“I can't believe you let him do it, Castiel,” complained Claire.

They were alone in Claire's room, since she didn't mind sharing it with Castiel and Jack. Well, sharing with Jack , really, since the angel didn't need a bed. The baby in his arms was starting to fall asleep, it was late at night, and the teenager had been eyeing him the whole day, holding herself together for this conversation.

“You are so much more powerful than Dean, and yet you let him get his way,” she continued amidst the angel's silence.

“What did you want me to do, Claire?” His voice was low enough to not startle his baby. “Go with him and keep fighting while taking care of Jack in the middle of a case or going and leaving Jack here?”

“Well, I don't know! You're his boyfriend!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms around. Jack moved and made a little sound. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologized, controlling her voice. The girl tiptoed to them and caressed Jack’s hair for a minute. When she stepped away, her voice was a lot lower. “Dean is just a damn hypocrite. All that talk about me not doing things alone while he excludes you like this? Doesn't sit right with me.”

One thing was clear, despite their previous problems, Claire cared about him and she meant well, despite her harsh words. Part of Castiel was very happy knowing Claire wanted the best for him. But that wasn't her problem at all, she should focus on her own things, training or studying or doing normal teenage stuff. He came here to distract himself from his feelings, not to drag others into his problems. Castiel sighed, putting Jack on his baby carrier, he was sleeping. 

“It isn't about being a hypocrite,” Castiel looked at Claire now, sitting on her bed, with her fierce eyes on him, “Dean feels responsible for what happened and his way to 'fix' things is doing things himself. He told you to not be harsh on Jody and not do things yourself because he acts this way and deep down, he knows this isn't right. Dean doesn't want you to make the same mistakes he once did.” Castiel made a pause, considering if he wanted to give her more context or not. “Dean didn't have a house growing up, Claire, so he wants you to have one. I'm not defending our disagreement, I just want you to know why he might tell you to do one thing then act the opposite way.”

For a minute, Claire was silent, the weight of Castiel's sincerity floating around the air. Little by little, her expression softens.

“But what about you? You can't be happy with this, Castiel,” she eventually said, crossing her arms. 

“I'm not, but I have a son now and I need to take care of him. When Dean comes back, I will have a serious conversation with him. For now, I don't think there's anything I can do,” said Castiel, very serious. 

“Sucks,” Claire shrugged, still unhappy, but less angry on his behalf. Castiel thanked her, before wishing the girl a good night and leaving the room.

Indeed, he had a lot in his mind that he wished to talk about with Dean. 

Jack bothered all the girls in the first night they spent in the house. Castiel didn’t want to use his powers to make his son sleep, but after the clock told him it was three in the morning and his baby was still restless and stressed he simply used his grace to make him black out until morning. Castiel had a terrible sensation that his feelings were at fault. The angel was stressed and angry, and Jack was separated from his other dad. No wonder the child was crying so easily.

On the second day Castiel had to go shopping for clothes again . Jack was getting bigger and heavier by the day and it was starting to really stress him out. Which, again, was not good for the baby. The little one seemed to know when he was not feeling very well and cried easily. A true snowball situation, since it only made Castiel even more stressed by not being able to calm his son. Jody and Donna tried to calm him down too, several times, but the baby was still not used to them and always cried after a while.

Jody and the others took them to walk around the park, where Jack finally got to spend some time under the sunlight. The park was full of families with kids of all ages. Once Jack was more cheerful, they went to a mall to do the shopping. While Claire and Alex walked around by themselves, going to shops typical for girls their age, Jody, Donna and Castiel went to baby shops, picking clothes.

“So, which size is Jack using now?” said Jody curious, eyeing some cute yellow jumpers with little ducks.

“Those are four months old clothes but I’m afraid I’ll have to use five months' clothes soon.”

“Four?!” Her eyebrows rose to the ceiling. Donna just blinked in total shock. “He is two weeks old and is already using four months old clothes?!” Castiel nodded calmly. “I don’t want to scare you but- that’s not normal for humans. May I ask if angel babies age faster than humans?”

“Oh yes, a few days after being born an angel spawn is roughly the size and intelligence of a twelve years old human.” Jody’s mouth dropped. “They hit adulthood about a month after being born. But angel’s reproduce very rarely, most of us were created by God himself millions of years ago. Very few times I saw young angels around. But after our numbers dimmed with the wars and the problems in Heaven I know many angels are expecting now.”

“Damn, that’s a lot faster…” murmured Donna. 

“To be honest, I had a little hope Jack would be more human than angel but it seems like I was wrong,” he frowned at his son, who was now calm while chewing on his keyring shaped toy inside of his stroller.

For a moment, the three of them stood in silence, hearing the distant chatting of the other customers in the shop.

“Jack’s growing up faster than you expected, right?” Guessed Jody, voice careful.  

Castiel sighed, his hand gripping at the stroller. “Indeed. Seems like I have to do something about it.”

“Like what?” Donna asked in a mix of curiosity and worry.

“Like sealing his powers.”

By day four, Castiel was ready to throw the towel and fly to Dean to punch him in the face so they could talk and scream until they both became too tired to keep fighting. Castiel was absolutely not raising his son alone. Not only was the baby a lot of work, but he was convinced Jack missed Dean. The girls were helping a lot but at night his precious baby would just cry and take forever to sleep and Castiel was sure he was not sick. 

During the day, when Castiel was sitting alone on a park bench, fixing Jack’s milk bottle, he could feel the stares on him. He even started to pay attention to humans with babies or kids around. It was mostly with mothers or grandmothers, or both parents. Was a man taking care of his son alone really too uncommon for those people? Is that what the Earth was now? At some point, a elderly lady approached them and smiled at Jack.

“Aw, what a cute little baby you have!” She said cheerfully. With a quick stare, he noticed she wasn’t a demon and or an angel, and relaxed a bit. “Is today’s mother’s day off?”

“Jack doesn’t have a mother,” he said tersely.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, dear!” And she quickly excused herself.

Once the woman wasn’t in sight anymore he wondered if he should have said ‘but he has another father’. Not that it would change much, since he still felt pretty much alone. In the end, he stayed less time than what he wanted in the park. Without Claire, Donna or Jody, he was catching too much unwanted attention and he’d rather not have to deal with any humans but his stubborn human. 

Midnight and Castiel was ready to go back to the bunker and apologize for ever stepping a foot inside Jody’s house. Though his day was pretty uneventful, he was pissed. Angry even before the old lady asked if he was with his son because his alleged wife was having a ‘day off’, no, that was just the last nail in the coffin. Claire and Alex had learned to feed and bathe Jack and were doing a pretty good job at it and changing him for the night. It was only when everyone went to bed and it was just Castiel wide awake and a sleepy Jack that it all started to go wrong.

Jack started to cry, which Castiel was waiting for by now. He even tried to smile and sing a little for his baby, but Jack wasn’t having any of that. The cries were loud and distressful. Castiel sighed, he could tell the cramps were starting again, so he moved Jack on his lap and healed the poor baby. But the baby kept crying. He started to pace around the living room, trying to remember the melody of Hey Jude. Dean really liked to sing it to Jack. It took him a while, but he finally got the melody right and attempted to whisper to the baby. It did pretty much the opposite of what he wanted. Jack screamed even louder and every single electrical device in the house flashed bright white before breaking. And not only the house. Castiel looked over the window and the electric wires were short circuiting too. He watched the nearby house lose electricity at the same time he heard footsteps. 

“Castiel? Is everything okay?” Said Jody from the top of the stairs. A second later, Claire and Alex were up and next to her. 

“I-” another loud cry from Jack left him speechless. The angel didn’t know which woman to focus on, all three of them were staring at him equally surprised and worried. At the end he picked Jody. “I’m really sorry for this, I’ll fix your house, I swear.” 

Then Castiel did the thing he was the best at: he flew away.

His wings brought him to the first place he thought would be relatively safe, an empty beach on the coast of Florida. He had good memories of being there with Dean and the sound of crashing waves was very calming. But no matter what he did, his son kept screaming. His stress levels were only rising and he wondered how much of his distress Dean could feel from miles away from them. After a few minutes pacing, making circles on the sand, Castiel was lost. Jack wasn’t in any particular pain, he wasn’t hungry, nor were his diapers dirty so why was he crying so much? Was it just a thing babies did or was his poor son absorbing all the negative energy and feelings from him? He couldn’t tell. 

Castiel moved Jack’s support from one arm to the other, gently rocking the kid and trying to sing for him to calm down, a different music now. The crying lowered in intensity very little, but enough for the baby to open his watery eyes. The blue pupils had a circle of gold around them, glowing in the dark. Oh. Oh no . First was the golden spots in the wings, now the eyes. Gold was the mark of an archangel. There was no doubt now, his son was going to be as powerful as an archangel. Which means Jack could be in serious danger. No wonder his Father was so strict about no nephilim being allowed to live, not only because the halflings were abominations in the eyes of God and the angels, but because they were that powerful. Now Castiel was in full blown panic. He had to do something to protect his child. But, by Heaven, the crying was really getting on his nerves.

“Jack please…” he murmured, unhappily, resting Jack’s forehead on his. Little by little, the wind became stronger against his body. The smell of salt water piqued at the same time as the crashing waves. His son kept crying loudly. Castiel opened his eyes and took on the radical change in the weather. When his eyes darted lower, he saw the sand whirling around his feet. Something told him it was all because of Jack’s power. 

After a sigh, Castiel tried to sing Nothing Else Matters again, but it was no use, he could barely hear his own voice. Finally he gave up and brought a finger to his son's forehead, making him pass out immediately. As soon as Jack blacked out, the winds stopped and the waves calmed. Castiel only had a minute of silence before he heard his phone ringing. He wasn’t even going to accept the call until he saw the caller’s ID.

“Cas, what the hell is happening with you?” The hunter didn’t even wait for him to greet him first but at least he had the decency of calling.

“Hello Dean,” he said tiredly. “Jack wouldn’t stop crying so I had to force him to sleep.”

“You- what?”

“He was breaking things, messing with the whole neighborhood's electricity and making a storm. I think.”

“Wait, hold on, where are you? Is Jack well?”

 He took a moment to take in the sight of the ocean.

“Somewhere near Miami Beach. Jack’s sleeping now. He is well, I don’t know why he was crying so much and I didn’t know what else to do.”

 For a moment, the line was silent.

“You could have called.”

“And?” The anger sparkled again, boiling inside of him with the intensity of a solar storm. “What else would you do that I couldn’t?”

“I don't know, Cas!” Admitted Dean. “But I could have tried something. Or… You could have brought him here.”

“I didn't think I would be welcome in,” the words left him heavy, sharp like knives. Not only did he have a nephilim son that he had no idea of how to deal with but also an uncooperative partner miles away from him because he insisted on doing things himself. He was bitter, tired and scared beyond reason.

“Cas, don’t be stupid,” despite the word choice, it lacked a bite. “Of course you and Jack would be welcome.”

“That’s not what it looked like to me when you refused my help,” he remembered angrily.

“I’m not fighting about it again, not right now,” Dean said with that ‘you'd better listen to me’ tone Castiel hated so much.

“Neither am I,” and he ended the call.  

For a second Castiel thought Dean would call him back. But after five minutes, he realized his partner was not calling again. Maybe it was for the best. He still felt too disheartened to be talking to Dean. Castiel flew back to Jody’s house, where he used his grace to fix all the electrical devices as an apology for Jack’s mess. 

The next day Jack woke up around seven and didn’t act in any weird way. The electricity company had to change the cables for the whole neighborhood and Castiel felt pretty guilty about it. The girls complained a few times about being out of power but kept it to a minimum because of him. The angel told Jody he was going back to the Bunker but the sheriff told him he didn’t need to, he was still welcome in their house since it wasn’t his fault. But Castiel still felt responsible. 

The power was back in the afternoon, and so far Jack didn’t give them any more trouble than normal. But he still packed their things. They stayed in Jody’s house for five days and Castiel was done feeling miserable and bringing his problems to others. He was going to go back to the bunker and seek a way to seal Jack’s powers so this kind of thing would stop. Now that he had some time to ponder about it, perhaps his son was crying about not being able to contain all of his power, that had to take some short of burden on his small body. Which could also be the reason he was growing so much faster than a normal human. All in all, the events of last time made him make up his mind towards sealing his son’s powers.

When it was past eleven at night and Jack wasn’t showing any signs of sleeplessness, he simply made his son sleep just like the previous night. He felt bad, but not as bad as if he risked having Jack destroy all the electronic devices again. After putting the sleeping baby on the guest bed, Castiel reached for the door. He was going to let Jody know he was leaving early in the morning when a striking pain hit his chest. For a moment, he felt like someone had thrown him against a wall. Immediately he felt on guard; it was the bond and Dean was in danger. Castiel only took one last look at his sleeping son, to make sure he was alright, before flying away to the source of his pain. 

With a flap of his wings, Cas reached a dark place in a second, not even needing to think where he was going. He twisted his body, summoning his angelic blade, as soon as he made eye contact with the first enemy. The witch had her back to him and didn't even see what hit her. One stab to her chest, piercing it, and killing the witch. As she dropped dead, the second witch turned her gaze towards him. Castiel didn’t waste any time and stabbed  her in the neck before she could finish her spell. Ignoring the body, Castiel spotted Dean on the other side of the room, lying down awkwardly on the floor, back against a wall. The hunter's eyes widened in shock, only for a second, before they went back to scanning the place. 

Dean stood up with trouble, hunched at first, holding his arm around his gun, covered in blood. Around his feet lay the corpses of two other witches. Rowena has been busy. Castiel looked around too. They were inside what seemed like an old fancy house, filled with decoration that looked expensive, matching Rowena extravagant taste. Several wards and other sigils were painted on the walls, almost looking like regular wall wallpaper. The shelves were filled with spell ingredients and there were tables with brews and other potions. Surely a room used for witchcraft. Were it not for the bond, he was sure he wouldn't be able to track Dean. Since he felt no other presence nearby, he looked back at the hunter.

“This isn't your blood,” Dean laughed. Castiel didn't like that look on his face. It was cold, empty. Just like the Demon when he beared the Mark of Cain. He hated it. They were nothing like the kind and caring Dean he fell in love with. “Where's Sam?”

“Around,” he shrugged, “lower floor, I think. I said I could handle it myself but he came anyway.” Again , he grimaced. “Why are you here, Cas?” 

“I felt you were in danger, so I came to help.”

“I didn't need help,” he scorned, putting away his gun and grabbing a discarded angel blade from the ground, then storing it in his coat. Dean looked around again, but they both knew by now everyone else was dead. Somewhere, Sam must be looking for Dean, Castiel heard him scream his brother’s name, on the floor below. 

“Certainly didn't look that way.”

“It was just two witches,” Dean pointed out, voice raising with anger. “This was my mess and I was finishing it just fine,” he spit in Castiel's direction. “Rowena is dead and so is her whole Coven, so now Crowley has to get out of my ass!”

Castiel wanted to keep calm but he was becoming more and more irritated. His hands had closed into fists.

“Right. Great. Can we talk for a minute, Dean?” Tried Castiel, using the last of his patience.

“Now?” Dean was surprised for a second. “Honestly Cas, I'm tired and maybe now isn't the best time to talk. Why don't you go back to Jack? We finished here.”

“I see you still try to stubbornly do everything yourself,” started Castiel, no longer capable of keeping his thoughts to himself. “Eventually you'll need to stop running away from our conversations.”

“I'm not running away.”

“And Jack is very well. He's with Jody. Thank you very much for your concern about our son,” he added bitterly. Now Dean was glaring at the angel. “It's not a sign of weakness to accept others' help, Dean.”

“I didn't need help!”

“That's not the point!”

They heard a noise and turned to the left, getting their weapons. Sam raised both of his arms and gave them a nervous smile. Castiel and Dean dropped their weapons and relaxed. 

“I just- uh. I will… leave you two alone…” 

Then Sam simply turned away and rushed from the room. For a moment, they stood in the dark and filthy room in silence. Castiel passed his eyes through the shelves and spotted several rare spell ingredients. Whatever Rowena was planning, was big.

“What's the point then, Cas?” Said Dean, crossing his arms and staring at him annoyed. 

“You never learn. You don't have to do everything yourself. I frankly thought you were over it, Dean,” Castiel said genuinely, letting his face show his vulnerabilities. Dean held his glare for a moment, before moving his eyes to the side. “Aren't we a family? You should trust us to help you. We want to, me, Sam, everyone else. And I don't care about what you may say, I'm not letting you sacrifice yourself again. Our child needs his father.”

“How convenient it is for you to touch this subject,” Dean put his hands on his hips and stepped closer, his eyes flashing dangerously. “Crowley said you were going to sacrifice yourself to birth Jack!” He suddenly raised his voice and pointed at Castiel. 

“I wasn't going to do it,” his eyes went wide with shock. Castiel considered the possibility, but it was never his plan.

“You were!” And the angel could see the beginning of tears in his partner's eyes. 

“No, I wasn't!” Castiel screamed over Dean's accusations, feeling both hurt for Dean thinking like that and seeing how he believed it. “Dean, I never gave up on myself when I was in labor!” The hunter blinked, they were both standing right in front of each other, storms in their eyes. Castiel refused to let him believe it another second. “It's true I was a little overconfident but I wasn't planning on dying, not like Crowley thought. Besides, even if I died, I'm sure you would be a great father for Jack.”

“No, I wouldn't, Cas,” Dean shook his head without hesitation. His voice was suddenly much lower. Castiel squinted his eyes and tilted his head. “I would blame our son for your death and then I would become just like my dad,” his eyes ventured down as Dean took a deep breath. 

Rarely, Castiel managed to see Dean speak of his father in a way that wasn't respectful. To hear him speak about John as if turning into him was the worst thing possible was shocking. Most of what he learned about John were from others, mostly Sam and Dean, and he didn't have a very good impression of the hunter anymore. He could be the best hunter who ever walked on Earth, but by Heavens, he was a horrible father. Dean has so much trauma only because of him. John couldn't raise one of his kids, Dean was more of a father to Sam than John ever was and Sam himself told Castiel that. As if he needed to. Castiel wasn't blind. And he did know quite a lot about absent fathers. Dean would never be like John, Castiel was sure of it. But Dean's insecurities ran deep. 

“You don't understand,” said Dean softly, his hand went to hold on Castiel's face, bringing Castiel to meet his wet eyes. Fingers caressed his cheeks and his ears. “I can't lose you. Not anymore, not after everything…” Castiel opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Dean linked their foreheads together and sighed. “You said you won't let me sacrifice myself again? Fine, but I'm going to do the same with you. You're not dying on my watch again. I won't let you,” his voice broke and Dean swallowed a sob, closing his eyes. Castiel reached for his hands, holding them together. For a minute they only breath the same air, their confessions hanging heavily. 

“This… Wasn't the way I pictured this conversation to go…” said Castiel eventually, the corner of Dean’s mouth curled into a tiny smile. There were lots of things to unpack from that conversation later.

One of his hands dropped to clear the tears and blood from Dean's cheeks, the other kept hold of Dean's left hand on his face. Slowly, Dean opened his eyes and they stared at Castiel. In a wordless agreement, they kissed, slow and chaste, just to feel each other's cold lips. 

“Me neither,” then Dean made a pause, eyes searching something on Castiel. “Let's get the hell out of here,” said Dean suddenly and Castiel couldn't agree more. 

“Am I to believe we are fine now…?” Tried Castiel, following Dean to the main door, still holding one of his hands.

“We are fine,” said Dean easily, squeezing the angel's hand, and it was enough to bury the rest of Castiel worries for the night. 

Chapter Text

Eight in the morning and the man was fixing his boots, using the hotel bed as support. Sam was sitting on a chair, just a few feet away from him in their little shared room. There was nothing remarkable here, save for it not having any particularly strong stench. Dean didn’t sleep much and it reflected in his foul mood. His body was aching everywhere, killing five witches in one night isn’t for everyone. And definitely not for the two good hunters that died trying to help them. As usual, someone has to die by helping Dean. He was so tired of it. 

Last night, as they were going back to the hotel, Crowly called to congratulate Dean for his good job, saying his mother was now in Hell, exactly where he wanted her to be. Dean told him to forget about him.

“But you were the one who called me,” taunted Crowley, faking a sentimental tone. “How 's Junior?”

“Great. Forget about him too,” he said hastily, through gritted teeth, gripping the steering wheel of Baby.

“Aw, I thought I could be the godfather, seeing as how I birthed him into this world.”

“No,” Dean said fast, his blood going cold. “Absolutely not, stay away from my son,” and he ended the call, feeling his soul threatening to leave him. His brother stared worried at him as he drove as fast as possible to their hotel. 

And he still felt like shit. Cas was pissed at him. Dean was pissed at himself for making his angel so angry. Sam gave him shit the whole time and the two local hunters who were willing to help them purge the witch coven died in the fight. It was so tiresome . Dean was tired of this life, he just wanted to go back home and hug his son, he missed him. 

 A part of him cringed at a realization. Did his father never miss him as he misses Jack? Not even once? It has been just a few days and he can’t wait to see his baby son again, hug him and care about the small nephilim. Every time John came back it was to rest for a few days and make sure Dean was taking care of his brother as well as he could. Rarely he got some nice words or even a hug. John constantly left strangers to watch and raise Dean and Sam while he was out. Hunting. Damn, that stupid revenge really corrupted his soul. The realization made him angrier than ever, he stared at the empty hotel bed, mind going a mile a second. His sons were never as important to John as his revenge. No matter what happened he won’t allow himself to become like his dad. It may once have been his dream, to be a hunter just like him, but now he doesn’t care anymore. Sam has grown to be a great hunter and man; he has a wonderful partner that he probably doesn’t deserve but loves him more than anything in the world and a beautiful son with him. Hunting never felt more needless in his life before. He can’t just justify doing this shit forever now he has a boyfriend and a son. He wants to raise his son, like, actually raise him , like he raised Sam, minus the hunting.

“Dean, can I speak to you?” said Sam suddenly, snapping Dean from his daydream. He turned away from his gaze on the bed, Sam was standing in the middle of the room, all ready. 

“I won’t like it, will I?”

“Probably not,” said Sam seriously. “You know, I think we could really have used Cas’s help yesterday.”

“Oh, fuck no, not again,” Dean massaged his throbbing head and wandered around the room, collecting his bag. It was too early for this. Can’t they just go back home and move on? 

“Dean,” said Sam in that infuriating serious tone, “ever since you two got together, you have been a lot better about accepting help and having Cas with us. Then your ‘I must do everything alone for some reason’ tendencies kicked in again and it was a mess .” 

“Sam, just get to the point, I have a headache and I'm tired,” he pleaded, sighing. Even his duffle bag felt heavier than normal. 

“ My point is that people died again . Joe and Elise didn’t have to get involved at all and they still did.”

“I told them to not come!” Snapped Dean. 

He never wanted to involve anyone else in his hunt. But they meet Joe and Elise, an old hunter couple in the area, tracing the coven as well. Dean said they would handle it. He even tried to take on the witches without Sam, but the tall bastard still followed him. Unfortunately so did the hunters and they got the worst of it. Both received a hunter’s funeral, shortly before Cas flew back for the night.

“And they did anyway, Dean,” said Sam in the same calm and low tone. “Do you even have a good reason to not have wanted Cas to be involved aside from your sense of responsibility?”

 For a moment, Dean hesitated. There was no reason to lie to his brother after everything they went through. 

“Kid needs a father.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Between me and Cas, Jack’s better with Cas,” he said in a way lower tone, almost a whisper. 

“I really doubt Cas agrees with this,” Sam said slowly, coming out of his shock. 

“Oh, trust me, he doesn’t,” said Dean sadly. ‘Our child needs his father,’ Cas had said. Dean felt a stab of regret and shame by remembering how hurt Cas sounded. “But I have to do whatever I can to protect them.”

“Dean,” Sam moved closer, his eyes pleading. “I never saw you as happy as when you’re with Cas. Your happiness makes me happy,” the older sibling blinked, surprised to hear this confession. “And you two work so well together. You two just had a baby because your bond is that strong. And I know it must be really hard on you to get used to this new life. If I had a baby with-” his voice broke and he coughed, looking away for a second. “If I was in this situation ,” he corrected himself, cheeks getting a bit of color, “I know I would be panicking and worrying over everything. But I know you and Cas can handle it. If you two keep working together. That’s my point.” 

For a moment Dean just nodded, looking everywhere, except at Sam. His words were sincere, Sam was always painfully honest with him. His little brother was always the one to say what he needed to hear, no matter if he liked it or not. Cas was like that as well. Now he feels really stubborn. 

“Alright, thanks,” he said at least, not knowing what else to say to all that. Dean was really fortunate to have Sam as his brother. He deserves all the happiness in the world. When Dean retires from the hunter life for real, he wishes Sam would follow his footsteps and quit too. Go back and finish law school, have a normal life and a wife, like he wanted. Sam would be a great lawyer and husband, Dean was sure of it.

Sam got his things and they both left the room. All Dean did was sigh and look at his beloved Impala when he gasped and almost fell to the ground. His brother rushed to his side, looking at him and then ahead, confused and alert. A little past eight in the morning and his angel was waiting by the Impala, back on the passenger’s door, arms crossed. The sun was bright behind him, giving his dark hair and wings an ethereal glow. 

“Cas?” Said Sam, now walking to the angel as Dean stayed paralyzed. “I didn't expect to see you here.”

“Hello Dean. Good morning, Sam,” greet Castiel politely. “I took care of Jack during the night so he shouldn’t be too much trouble for the girls this morning. I thought about keeping you two company on the way back home. Hope I am welcome.” His voice was normal, Dean couldn’t feel the anger and resentment of last night. Tentatively, he stepped towards them. 

“Oh. I see. Uh…” Sam looked away, seeking Dean, but quickly looked back at Cas and smiled. “Of course you’re welcome!”

“I'm sorry about yesterday, Sam.”

“Don't worry, man,” Sam shrugged at the angel. “I’ve passed by worse stuff than watching you and Dean fight,” he laughed and Castiel showed him a tiny smile. 

Somehow, Dean managed to walk to his car and greet Cas. The angel wished him a good morning as well. His whole posture was a lot calmer and relaxed from last night, so Dean relaxed himself. Sam graciously let Cas take the front seat and moved to the back seat like he was trying to hide his big body, as if he could. The drive was completely silent for a few minutes, making Dean play with the radio, seeking some good station to fill the air with some noise. As he left the radio playing on a country song, Cas spoke.

“We need to talk about Jack.” 

Well shit . Not about last night too, or Crowley. Dean didn’t know if he was disappointed or more nervous. 

“Sure,” he said in a fake relaxed tone. “How 's the kid? Is he doing well? Or still crying for no reason?” His worry slowly became clear in his voice. Two days ago he had to call Cas to know what was making him so anxious and angry that Dean couldn’t think straight. Since then he keeps wondering about how his son is doing.

“Jack has been better but I’m afraid we must seal his powers.”

“Come again?”

“Do we still have the notes from the prophet Kevin about the angel table?” Cas kept speaking, calmly as always. 

“Yes, we have it,” said Sam, coming closer to the middle of the two seats. “Why?”

“There must be something here about sealing angelic powers that I can use to make a spell.”

“I’m sorry Cas, but why do we need to seal Jack’s powers again?” called Dean, worried about what Jack could have done to make Cas come to such a drastic decision. 

 The angel sighed, looking outside of the window. 

“He’s too powerful and growing too fast,” the words came out painfully. “We can talk more after I see the prophet’s notes but I don’t think Jack can have a normal life if we don’t hinder his powers in some way.”

Dean was silent, mostly because he didn’t know what to think. Cas sounded and felt really distressed when he called, that decision couldn’t have been made thoughtlessly. 

“Alright, I’ll trust you know what you said,” said Dean after a minute. They passed the city’s entrance and Cas stared at him, his eyes seeking something. The bond made him feel weird, but not in a bad way, warmer and not distressed anymore. At times like this he wished they still had shared thoughts at all times, that could make everything so much easier. They still bump into communication issues from time to time. Mostly thanks to Dean shutting everything inside of him.

“And one more thing,” said Cas, eyes back on the road. The relief Dean felt was short lived. “I don’t want Jack to grow up involved in this hunting life.”

“Great,” Dean smiled instinctively. “No kid should grow up hunting, I’m so glad we agree with it.”

“Good,” agreed Cas. “Then can I have your permission?”

“Permission?” he repeated, confused.

“Yes, to raise Jack away from it. I know fully well the bunker is the safest place in the world for him to be… But I want him to have a normal house. And normal friends.”

“And I agree with all of it, you know it, Cas,” said Dean, still confused. It was normally the other way around, Dean explaining things to a very confused angel.

“So I have your permission?” Dean looked back at him and Sam screamed, pointing ahead. Dean moved Baby away, avoiding her to crash into another car that passed by honking at him. All of them breathe in relief. Ok, that was it. Dean pulled the car at the sideway and stopped it, moving on his seat to stare right at Cas.

“Cas, why do you need my permission?” he asked again, more serious. 

“To raise Jack-”

“I’m his father too?”

“Guys,” called Sam, moving closer too, “I’m sorry to get in the middle of your conversation about my nephew’s future, but I think there’s something lacking in the communication here.”

Both Winchesters looked at Cas. The angel opened then closed his mouth, his wings fidgeting a little. That hesitant view was very different from the upfront and angry Cas that Dean has been dealing with for the last few days. 

“I don’t want to keep fighting,” he started carefully, looking down to his own hands. “I’m not going to try to convince you to leave the family business, at least not for now, as much as I believe it would be good for you Dean. I just ask for my son to not be dragged into it,” he said tiredly, rarely Dean saw his angel so tired like this, as if something pulled all the energy from him. “Jack can stay in the bunker until he is old enough for daycare and then I would like to move out with him. You and Sam would be free to visit, of course. I’m not taking back what I said last night but-”

“What?” Dean almost jumped from his seat. Cas couldn't be more wrong. His hands were moving in the air as he mouth opened then closed, in total shock. “You think- You think I’m going to keep being a hunter?!”

Cas raised his head, and squinted his eyes. “You’re not?”

“No!” Dean said louder than what he would like to, startling both Cas and Sam. “Don’t you remember how I tried to be a hunter and have a family with Lisa and Ben at the same time and how that failed?” Cas kept his stare on him, expectant. “Cas, if there’s anything I learn with this last hunt is how I do not want to keep having this life when I have you both! Between you and Jack and hunting, I’m picking you and Jack.”

The man watched as Cas' expression changed, first to surprise, then to relief. He let out a long breath and his wings rested on a more relaxed position. He searched for the bond, feeling the same relief. Cas was really convinced Dean was going to keep being a hunter, he wondered what he did to give Cas that impression. Ok, sure, he said time and time again quitting his life for a normal wasn’t something he wanted. Which was not the whole truth but it was something he said in the past. But ever since he knew Cas was pregnant, Dean thought he was giving Cas all the sights he was considering dropping hunting for good. Seemed he was wrong. 

Despite being happy with the news, Dean noticed there was still something else bothering Cas. “What about Sam?” The angel asked after a moment of silence.

“I can take care of myself,” said Sam without hesitation, he smiled at the couple. “I learned from the best,” and Dean smiled at it, feeling warmth all over. “Don’t worry about me guys, you should go and live your own life, with Jack. Kid’s not the only one who deserves a normal life. I’ll call if I ever need help.”

“Yeah, you better,” warned Dean, making Sam chuckle.

“I wouldn’t dare get into trouble without dragging my bigger brother into it,” he laughed. “But seriously, I’ll be fine. I have Eileen, Charlie, Bobby, Garth too, I won’t be alone. Jack needs you two more than me.”

“Thanks Sam, you’re a great friend and brother,” said Cas, smiling more freely now. 

Dean turned on the car again, hearing Baby’s engine purr. “We’re clear now?” Cas nodded. “Good. Let’s go get the kid from Jody’s first, then we can talk more about it at home,” and he started driving again.

“Where is my little angel?!” Dean announced, arms open and big smile on his face, walking inside Jody’s house, making quite the dramatic entrance. 

Both Claire and Alex smiled and waved at the boys. Jack was sitting between the girl on the brown sofa, holding one of his colorful toys. The boy was dressed in a cute striped shirt, blue white and yellow, and wearing dog themed pants and socks. Dean never saw those clothes before, they must be new. Jack recognized his voice and looked at his father, then he laughed excitedly, moving his little hands towards Dean. Alex grabbed him by the waist, preventing him from falling from the sofa as Dean approached with the biggest grin on his face. First thing he did once he held his son was kiss him on the cheeks, making the baby laugh even more. Oh, how he missed it, feeling his soft skin on his, hearing his giggles. 

“Is it just me or have you gotten heavier, buddy?” He asked Jack, moving him up and down on his arms, trying to guess his weight. Jack also looked taller and he wasn’t gone for a full week. His son just spoke some baby nonsense, still smiling bright. Dean doesn't think he saw Jack smile this much before. 

“He definitely has,” said Cas exasperated. “I keep having to buy bigger clothes for him,” he stopped by Dean, watching their son babble and grab Dean’s shirt with his little baby hands. “Jack’s happy to see you again.”

“Oh, you think?” Dean chuckled, holding Jack closer to his chest. Cas squinted his eyes, still not fond of sarcasm.

“Uh, guys, your magical kid was moving things around,” said Claire. All three men moved to stare at her. Alex nodded as Claire continued. “We were playing with him when suddenly all the blocks started to float around and Jack even brought the keyring toy he loves so much to his hands!” 

Dean started to sweat. Cas was petrified with his mouth open beside him.

“Uh, that sounds troublesome,” said Sam quietly, “I guess I’m hitting the books once we get home.”

“When was that? Did he do something else? Why didn’t you call?”

“Calm down, Castiel,” said Claire softly, raising her hands. “Jack is fine, he just made some stuff float.”

“It was about twenty minutes ago,” said Alex, “after he ate and became more awake.”

“I didn’t call because he stopped doing it after a minute or so. If he had done anything else I would have called,” explained Claire. 

Cas sighed and visibility relaxed. Dean fixed his grip on Jack, who watched the group talk blissfully ignorant of all the stress he was giving his family.

“Alright, thanks a lot girls,” said Dean, making way to Jack’s stroller, “now I think we need to go. Who’s going to help me get Jack’s stuff?”

Both girls agreed easily and started to pick the toys around. Cas and Sam helped them as Dean kept holding the baby. Jody and Donna were out and they couldn’t say their goodbyes in person, but the trio thanked the two girls again for babysitting the ‘magical’ baby. When they left the house, Dean drove as fast as possible back to the Bunker.

As they researched under the light of candles, Dean felt like he was back in 1920 when the Bunker was full of life and at its peak. The huge shadows that danced around the walls couldn’t scare either him or the baby over his chest. On the contrary, Jack has tried to reach for the shadows a few times. His brother was hunched over an old book, two more open around him and a pen on hands, making notes in a notebook. And Cas was making notes upon notes in another notebook, based on the notes on Kevin’s about the angel tablet.

It was the third day of research and they didn’t make much progress. Kevin’s notes were hard to understand, the Men of Letters notes about angels were scarce, and Cas had to fly to Bobby and to a few hunters, friends of them, grabbing more books for Sam to study. And there was Dean. He wasn’t being useless , when Jack was sleeping he searched the internet and even read a few books. Even Charlie was working hard, she was with Garth, helping him with his werewolf pack, but tried to help in her spare time. All in all, it’s been pretty slow. Cas thinks he can make a new spell based on others he knows. Sam thinks there was a spell like that once. And Dean desperately wants someone to come to him and say ‘actually, I raised a nephilim once and I can help!’ but he knows it is too unrealistic to expect. 

The day they got back home Jack didn’t do anything odd. The next day, however, his son seemed to become aware of his powers and started to use his telekinesis to move objects around and, more notably, to push things out of their places, like a magical cat. Obviously he wouldn't let a baby destroy their house and they tried to make him stop with various degrees of success. And as of two hours ago, Dean had to fight his son to not let him drink a bottle of pepper sauce he got from the fridge. Which caused the kid to have an uproar so bad he destroyed the whole electric system and lamps of the bunker. Again. The trio gave up on the electricity, while the nerds continued the research, Dean tried to calm down an angry baby. Only after he started to make shadow puppets to entertain Jack that he calmed down. Jack wasn’t a month old but he could let his family with no power, move objects and make storms on a beach. Dean had to agree with Cas, they have to do something drastic about their kid’s powers before it gets worse.

Dean was almost falling asleep on one of the chairs, Jack sleeping on his chest, when he heard his brother speak.

“Hey Cas, I think you should see this,” he tapped at one of the books. “This book has some spells about sealing the powers of monsters, and I know they are not for angels, but all the spells have this one similarity, I think is the key about how they work.”

Wordless, Cas stood from his seat and walked over to Sam. For a minute they read the book in silence. Dean was almost falling back asleep when he heard Cas this time.

“Wait, I think we can use this, Sam,” he heard some rushed steps and the sound of books and the passing of pages. “See those sigils? Metatron once used them to make me weaker. And this one is the banishing sigil. And this one,” another flap of a page, “is an unknown sigil that looks like a mix between them. See the similarities between them?” Sam hummed. “So, I think this sigil can be read as prison.”

“As in keeping a power sealed?”

“Precisely. If we change the monster sigils on this spell for the angel ones, I think we may be able to seal Jack’s powers.”

“Well this is fantastic,” Sam tried to say excitedly, despite how tired his voice was. “How do we test it?”

“There’s no test,” Dean opened his eyes, feeling anxiety creeping inside of him. “Either it works or it doesn’t.”

“You serious?” called Dean, blinking at them. Sam and Cas looked back at him, surprised to see Dean awake. “Are you going to test a new spell on Jack?” Cas dropped his eyes. “What if it doesn't work?”

“Well if it doesn't work at least it shouldn’t hurt him,” said Cas, trying to sound confident.

“Shouldn’t? How sure are you of it?”

“About… Eighty five percent sure,” he reluctantly said. 

That didn’t sound good. Dean looked from Cas to Sam. Neither of them looked very confident. What if the spell hurt his son? What if it had some side effects? There’s no way to know.

“That’s all we got, Dean,” said Sam sympathetically. “We aren’t going to find a way to seal nephilim powers from books because none lived long enough to write their story down.”

“And most angel secrets are sealed in a tablet we have no way of reading and the only person alive who knows about it hates each one of us more than anything else in this world,” reminded Cas. “I’ll make the spell to seal Jack’s powers, no matter how long it takes. And once he is older we can think about teaching him to control his powers.”

Dean sighed. They were between a rock and a hard place. Jack would never live his normal life if they don’t seal his powers. Hell, he was even growing five times faster than a human. His son wouldn’t even be able to attend school if he kept growing like this. As much as he hated the idea of using Jack as a guinea pig, they didn’t have another choice. 

“Alright,” he said after a minute of reflection. “I guess we have nothing to lose.”

The war table was painted with blood. The spell circle Cas created was done, looking awfully close to a devil's trap, but for angels. He used his own blood for the ritual. The ingredients were gathered from all around the globe. Sam was mixing the ingredients in a wooden bowl, while Cas finished the runes and sigils on the table. Dean was able to get Jack to sleep, his son was wearing only a diaper since Cas needed to draw some sigils on him as well. It was essential he was sleeping for it, as babies love to destroy stuff and they can't let anything go wrong. 

“Alright,” Cas stepped aside from the table. “I'm going to start the ritual soon. I'll be scribbling the spell on Jack's ribs just like I did with the two of you.”

 “Cas,” called Dean, walking closer, “are you sure this is safe?”

He turned around to stare angrily at Dean. “Remember when you refused my help to kill Rowena and her witches on your own?”

 He gulped, bracing himself. “Yes?”

“Looks like it's not nice to be forced to watch from the sidelines.”

“Oh, so you hold grudges now?”

“Guys!” screamed Sam. “This is not the time! Can't you two just figure out your problems when we aren't in the middle of a hunt, driving or doing a ritual?!”

Cas looked away. Sam was right, they have been working on doing that ritual for a week now and they had nothing else to work. Dean had to trust Cas on this one. 

“Put Jack in the middle of the circle, Dean,” ordered Cas, without even looking at him. 

Dean sighed and kissed his son's head before gently lowering the sleeping baby into the spell circle. He barely moved. He stepped away, watching the kid to make sure he wasn't going to wake up suddenly or turn around. Jack didn't seem to register how he was now on a cold table. 

Sam gave the mixture to Cas, who held it and started to chant in enochian. Slowly, Sam made way to stand beside Dean, both a meter away from Cas and the table. The angel chanted the ritual for a while, he grabbed a handful of the mixture and threw it in the air. Then more around the sleeping Jack. Once he went silent, Cas summoned his angel blade and cut his hand, letting his blood fall into the bowl. He then mixed the blood with the rest of the bowl’s contents and started to draw symbols on Jack's stomach and body. Dean watched anxiously, trying his best to keep a calm facade. Cas chanted a few more words in enochian and touched the sigils on Jack's body. The angel's hand started to glow. Suddenly, the ground started to shake, and so did the rest of the Bunker. Jack awakened at once, his eyes glowing in gold, just like they did once he started to use his powers. His baby sobbed and a wave of kinetic force threw all three of them away. Sam and Dean hit the wall on the other side of the room, and Cas rolled down a few meters away from them. Some books from the shelves fell to the ground. 

After the blast of energy, all stayed silent. The three of them got up at the same time, walking carefully to the table. Jack was awake but not crying, the baby had his eyes wide open and looking around the place in a restless way. Aside from that, he was completely fine, just dirty with blood. 

“He looks confused,” said Sam, inspecting his nephew.

“The ritual must have worked,” said Cas, just before touching his son. His finger touched Jack’s belly, then his forehead. “The inscriptions are set correctly in his ribs and his body and soul are in perfect state.”

“Well, that’s great!” Dean breathed with relief, letting himself relax. “Do you think Jack can tell his powers are locked now?”

“Rawrr,” Sam grabbed Jack's foot and moved it playfully. The baby lost interest in the ritual and started to smile and laugh at his uncle's antics. Sam then tricked his foot making the kid twist and laugh around the ritual circle. “Jack seems normal to me,” he smiled. 

“Jack probably can tell something is different but I think Sam distracted him,” said Cas. 

“Cas, you’re a genius, you know it?” Dean cupped his cheeks lovely, smiling at his partner. At first the angel was surprised, then his face melted into a chuckle.

“I had help,” he nodded towards Sam, still playing with the baby. Cas held Dean’s hand for a moment, before taking them off his face and becoming serious again. “There are two things about the ritual I need to tell you about.” 

“Okay,” Sam immediately got his hands off Jack. The baby babbled loudly and Sam quickly offered his hand for Jack to play with. Dean kept holding Cas’s hands. 

“First, this seal will weaken with time. I believe once Jack hits puberty it will start to lose some of its capacity, which should probably make it easier for him to control his powers,” both brothers nodded. “Second, there’s just one way to break this seal, a safety sigil must be drawn on Jack’s body but it will work if drawn with my blood.”

“So you’re the one who can break it?” Said Dean.

“No, not me but my blood ,” he let go of one of Dean’s hands to reach into his pocket. Cas took a piece of paper from it and handed it to Sam. “This is the sigil, keep it safe somewhere. Don’t tell anyone about it, this stays with the three of us, understood?” He said while looking at Sam, then sent a glare to Dean.

“Don’t worry, Cas,” Sam took a peak at the sigil before folding the paper again. “I’ll make sure to write down this ritual in a book and keep both the breaking sigil and the ritual in different places, hidden in the bunker.”

“Good. Thanks, Sam. Now I think Jack needs to take a bath.”

“And I think we can finally replace the light bulbs,” said Dean. 

Chapter Text

The ritual was a complete success. Things were no longer moving magically in Jack's room and the lightbulbs stopped breaking when he cried. His super fast growth seemed to have halted too. In short, Cas was a genius. And now that the issues with Jack’s power were dealt with for the next few years, Dean and Cas had to go through a well needed conversation about the future. They needed a house, maybe not far away from the bunker or closer to Jody’s house since the girls were helping them a lot. And they both need to find jobs, real paying jobs to afford the house and Jack’s needs. Clueless, Cas said he could get another job in a Gas & Sip, but that was one of the worst jobs he could pick. After a while he convinced Cas to talk to Sam and Charlie to forge documents and some degree and experience for him, in whatever field he wished to. Dean could find work on his own just fine once they picked a place. The real problem, however, was finding a goddamn house in this economy. 

“Damn, I had no idea of how much a house fucking cost!” Sighed Dean. Even with the help of a real estate agent the search was madness. All houses cost too much. Even in cities far away from the Bunker. How was he going to save money for Jack’s college if he had to sell his soul to own a house? In fact, perhaps a house costs even more than just one soul. “I guess I have to rob a bank or something,” he murmured unhappy. 

“Calm down, Dean, you have a son now, you can't become a criminal,” said Sam, looking up from his computer. Him, Dean and Charlie were all in the war table room, all using their respective computers to try to find a cheap and perhaps destroyed house somewhere they could realistically pay for. Dean thought leaving the hunter life was impossible thanks to the monsters and etc, but the real reason it was being impossible is because trying to start a normal life this late in his life with zero money proved to be the biggest factor.

“Sam, we live off cloned cards and we’ve killed so many people, that aside from all the property damage and invasion, and fake FBI identities. We are already criminals!” Screamed Dean, “All of us!”

“Okay but listen, we don't need to be this extreme yet,” said Charlie, trying to calm his mood. “You guys can have my house.”

“Your house?” Dean snapped his head to her. “Your mother's house?” Charlie nodded. “No, Charlie I can't accept it. You should keep it. It’s your house, you may need for your retirement or whatever. We'll figure something else out.”

“If you are sure,” she said sadly. Even if she was very serious, Dean cannot accept Charlie's house. He feels like he messed up her life too much already. She almost died twice, became a hunter anyway, keeping her life at risk. The last thing he was going to do was take her house too. Charlie already lost too much. 

“Okay, new plan: we could speak to Jody,” said Sam, looking at both of them. “She's a sheriff, maybe she knows about some old and abandoned house around her place we can get for cheap. Then we reform it slowly. Jack isn't going to any daycare before he's a year old, we have time to work on the house.”

Dean gave it some thought. He’s done worse and harder things than reform a house. “Right. Sounds like a plan,” he agreed, hoping Jody could lend them a hand in this as well. 

Before he could dial Jody’s number, Cas entered the war room. His hair was damp, fresh from a bath. Jack must have made a fuss during his bath time again. They often had to take a shower with him. It was hard to make him agree to take a bath, then it was just as hard to take him out of the water. Kids are so much work even for someone as experienced as Dean.

“What are you guys doing?” Said Cas, sitting by Dean's side. He smelled like baby shampoo and the detergent they used to clean their clothes. 

“Cursing the real estate economy,” said Dean, crossing his arms.

“Again?”

“We are about to ask for some help,” said Sam with a pained smile. “We’re kind of walking in circles right now.”

“Oh hey, Cas!” called Charlie excited, from the other side of the table. “I was doing some online shopping yesterday and I'm wondering, when can I give Jack a sword?”

“A sword?” Cas blinked, tilting his head. “Like an angel blade?”

“No, a fake medieval one,” Dean raised his eyebrows. What was his dear little sister talking about now? “I saw the cutest Link cosplay for him to wear to the Renaissance Faire. You must have lived through it, right? And don't worry, Jack will use armor too! It will be fun, we can all go together. You missed the gaming one Sam, Dean and I went to once but I'll be sure to drag you and my nephew to the next one!”

The angel hummed, deep in thoughts. Dean closed his laptop to stare at his partner. Surely Cas wouldn't agree to let Charlie gift their son a fucking sword. Her excitement was cute and all and Dean was sure Jack would be both cute and cool as hell wearing a Link outfit and sword but when he's twelve or so. 

“Humans usually learn how to hold and use items around two to three years old. But after Jack can use utensils and be a little more independent himself it should be fine. I would say four or five years old.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yes!” Exclaimed Charlie. “So is his fourth birthday okay? Leave it to me!” Sam busted out laughing. 

“What?” Repeated Dean. “Are you serious?” he asked, looking at Cas, baffled.

“She said Jack will be using protection too.”

“You're seriously letting her give a four year old a sword?”

“Angels are all born warriors, save from the cupids,” explained Cas, still unbothered. “Jack has a soldier's blood running in his veins, I'm sure he will be a natural with a blade. And by having both yours and my blood, I must say I'm surprised Jack wasn't born holding a weapon or two.”

Sam snorted and laughed even louder this time. Dean's mouth dropped. His gaze went from Cas' serious expression to Charlie, who was hiding her mouth with both hands, trying to bust out laughing too. Dean was so incredulous he couldn't think of a single thing to say.

“Oh my God, he's right,” said Sam between laughs. “How old were you when you killed your first monster, Dean? I bet Jack can break your record.”

“As a Winchester and an angel, he probably doesn't even need a weapon,” said Charlie, barely keeping it together before laughing. Sam nodded at her enthusiasm. 

“He won't-” Dean lost his train of thoughts when he saw from the corner of his eyes Cas snorting. So he was having fun. When Cas laughed he even looked younger, carefree. Dean wanted to see him like this more often.

 After his initial shock passed, Dean found himself smiling too. 

“Damn I wanted the kid to grow without needing to fight but I see I'm surrounded by traitors.”

“Jack will only fight other kids in the fair! No monsters, we won't let him!” Promised Charlie. 

“Jack will win too,” added Cas, confidently.

“I expected Dean to be the 'did you win?' father,” said Sam, surprised. Dean laughed at that one. Surely he would ask if Jack won a fight, after making sure he was okay. 

“I didn't know you were competitive, Cas. I really need you in my team for the next Con.”

“Who are we fighting and why?”

His angel was so serious about it too. Guess you can take the rebel angel from Heaven but you can't take the innate soldier of the Lord from the angel. Charlie didn't hesitate to infodump about her online competitive team to Cas, who only vaguely seemed to grasp the concepts the gamer spoke so fondly about.

Cas was going to be the death of Dean any of those days.  

As it turned out, Jody knew a place. An old farmhouse, almost in the middle of the way between Sioux Falls and Lebanon. It belonged to an uncle of Jody’s who passed away several years ago and his only son has left the country to live with his wife in Canada, not wanting anything to do with his old man's place. The house was in a more rural area, between some farms; the main house was old and built on wood, had two floors, and looked abandoned for at least a few decades. Around the main house, tall grass and moss covered everything. There was a barn, equality abandoned, with broken doors hanging open. A few yards to the left, after some woods, there was a river flooring. Jody told them it was the limit of the property. Beside the barn was a simple stale. The house also had an attic and basement. 

There were some broken windows  and wood falling from their places. Also no electricity to be found. But also no ghosts or sighs of monsters, which was a plus. Water fell dirty from the faucets but it seemed like it wasn’t a problem as long as they cleared the reservatory. Most of the mobile left was covered in dust and beyond dirty. Sam found a possum's nest in the kitchen. But even with the dust, possums, broken windows and possible hole in the roof, the house was big. Dean imagined it was a really cozy place once restored. It had three rooms and two bathrooms, a living room, a playing room with old kid toys and a decaying snooker table, and one more vacant room that could be used for anything, like a library or a hunter’s storeroom. Not that Dean should be considering it. The garage also had a broken door, it didn’t open for anything. Inside was Jody’s uncle's old car, called by both Sam and Jody a ‘piece of junk’. Dean was sure he could reform the old fiat too. At least the garage also had a ton of old equipment and tools and those he had a little faith in still being useful. 

After their long tour, Dean asked Jody again if she was sure she didn‘t want anything for the house.  

“Of course not, Dean,” she insisted. “I have no use for this place and none of my family wants to deal with the amount of money and time it would take to fix the old house. You guys need it more than me. Besides, you, Sam and Castiel have always helped me and the girls without asking for anything in return, this is the least I can do. And I’m sure the house will be in good hands,” she finished her speech by winking. 

“Thanks Jody, I don’t even know how to repay you for this,” after stressing over finding a house for him and Cas for the last few days, Dean was speechless. It was not only a house, it also was kind of a mini farm and the property was so big, that place was worth a lot more than the typical middle class houses Dean was looking for. 

Jody approached him and put a hand over the hunter’s right shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, Dean,” she smiled gently. He smiled back. Not sure how to put his feelings into words, Dean just nodded and then hugged the sheriff. Jody let out a little laugh and hugged him back without hesitation. 

When they moved away, Dean looked to his right, searching for his family. Sam and Cas were watching, both standing near Baby, where the rocky path that led to the road didn’t let the grass grow too tall.

“Cas, can I talk to you?”

“Sure.” The angel didn’t move.

“I mean in particular.”

“Oh.”

Turning to his side, Cas handed Sam their baby. Sam opened a big grim and helped Jack in the air, the baby just stared at him with a confused expression. Today Jack was dressed in a bright yellow shirt with black pants and striped yellow and black socks. The whole outfit, bought by Cas, just screamed bee. Since Jack got sick easily on car drives he still looked a little under the weather, but Sam playfully shook him on his arms and asked Jack if he wanted to take a walk with grandma Jody. As usual, Jody blushed and laughed about being called his grandma, but they knew she loved it. As much as Jody often joked about feeling old when called a grandma. 

While Sam, Jack and Jody walked towards the barn and chatted, Dean wondered about how Jody was quickly becoming a mother figure to him. She and Donna kept inviting the three of them to have lunch or dinner at their place, from time to time. And she didn’t hesitate to offer help and teach a few things about raising newborns and babies. Watched over Jack while he and Cas were having that disagreement (most of it was his fault, he knew it). Jody even took the responsibility of making sure Claire had a good home with her and Alex. And finally, she found them a house, for free. All of that checked the boxes of being a mother. Besides the fact she was stern but kind, a good woman all around. Dean, Sam and Cas were lucky to have her in their life.

Cas got to his side and waited. During the first days of his son's life, Cas often held him close to his body and didn’t let anyone hold the baby if they didn’t ask. Even Dean had some trouble getting Jack from his overprotectiveness. As the days passed, the angel became more at ease and would even politely ask if someone was interested in holding Jack for a while. Not with Sam, however. It pleased Dean, the little things. Cas didn’t need to ask, he simply offered Jack to Sam and he was more than happy to help take care of Jack. 

Dean gestured to Cas to follow and they made their way to the porch. They walked up the two steps and rested against the railing. “So, what do you think?” The porch had a good vision of the main path up ahead, and on its left side, of the barn and the stable.

“It’s a really good house.”

“We have plenty of space for everything,” continued Dean. “A big garden, a vegetable garden too, which would be not only healthier but save money too. In the summer we could set up a pool, if we don’t want to bathe in the river,” he could see the gardens and the events clearly in his head, the normal life he never had but deep down always yearned for. Because he disliked thinking about a future he knew he could never have. Until the moment everything changed and now he could finally let his imagination go wild and dream about a future with Cas and their son. “We could even have some animals. Like bees.”

“Bees?” Cas smiled then chuckled. Dean felt his smile becoming bigger.

“They are easy and cheap to maintain and you know how to collect honey. But we would have to set them far from the house so Jack doesn't wander near the hives.”

“I was sure you would talk about how much you want a dog and a horse or two,” said Cas, with a bright smile, looking at him. Oh, he knew Dean way too well. Horses and dogs, it crossed his head, but he wanted to sell the idea of living there to Cas too. 

“Well… we have space for them too,” he shrugged. “Even a cat. You wanted one once too, didn’t you? All in due time, of course. First we need to fix the house, then we have to move and buy more mobile and stuff. Jack is going to sink most of our money for the first few years of his life too but once we can spare more money we could build a real mini farm.” He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but the idea was tempting. Dean and Sam never even had a dog. And if Dean ends up with this big ass house with a barn, why wouldn’t he want to raise tons of animals too? Now that there’s nothing in his way threatening to end the world or his brother’s life, Dean could finally let himself dream about the future he wants. “But did you like it here or not?” He asked again, after a few seconds of silence. Sure it didn’t really have neighbors but Dean thought it was actually better this way, since he was an ex hunter, had an angel for a partner and a half angel son. It was twenty-five minutes away from the closest city, but they could drive and Cas can literally fly , the distance to the city isn’t a problem. 

“It's perfect, Dean,” he said with a soft smile, relaxed against the wooden rails. His trenchcoat and black feathers trembled with the cold wind. Dean liked even his stupid backwards tie. Sometimes he thinks about telling Cas how to fix it so ties his tie properly, but it may as be a part of him now. Being happy suits him, seeing Cas happy makes Dean happy too. 

“Great,” he said more to himself, unable to stop smiling. “Great, let’s tell Jody we are taking the house.”

Cas nodded and they left the porch holding hands. For once, Dean wasn’t afraid of the future.