Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Two fics that inspired this AU

You Again? by icepoptroll

And

Are We Ever Going Back? by LynnCanigula15

I seriously encourage you read them both, they are amazing and I love both works so much.

This takes place after the accident, as in basically immediately after. Basically Karnak & Carolyn (Noel's mother) both work in a hospital.

This mainly focuses on Penny, Noel, and Ezra.

Virgil is Karnak's roommate & also a patient at the hospital since part of the rollercoaster fell on him (he worked at the fair and was on the ground when it happened.)

Carolyn winds up adopting Ezra & Penny since their foster parents didn't even bother showing up after the accident and no one else had the proper certifications and she wants them to have a good life. (Noel supports this 100%)

Penny was the last of the group to wake up and was also in the hospital the longest along with Ricky though Ricky wasn't as injured they wanted to monitor him longer because of his health issues. (These two become closer friends because of this) 

Penny was also the last to learn about Carolyn adopting her (basically just woke up and suddenly gained a mother and a sibling lol)

Karnak & Virgil basically become sort of like father figures to the three of them since they both hang out with Carolyn outside of work. (Virgil is not the most responsible adult but he gets better about it)

I don't know if I'm gonna add any relationships yet but if I do they're probably just gonna be background stuff since I want the main focus to be on the sibling dynamic of Noel, Penny and Ezra.

This will just be for incorrect quotes even when I have the full story line figured out (I will post the main work separately but I will make it part of a collection) Thought it will take a bit since I want to try and do as much research as possible since I'm not in the medical field

That's all for the basic facts the rest will all be incorrect quotes unless stared otherwise.

Thanks for reading :)

Chapter Text

Penny: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him?
Noel: A pet WHAT?!
Mischa: William Snakespeare.

Ocean: Are you gay?
Penny: I want a lawyer.

Constance: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Ocean: Can't relate.
Penny: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Penny: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Ocean: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Penny: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Constance: Actually I did the math, Ocean would have $225, not $0.15.
Ocean: Fam I’m right here....
Mischa: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Penny: While you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Mischa: Sorry I only have a dollar
Penny: :(
Constance: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Ocean would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Mischa: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Constance: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Noel: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Constance: Apply juice to what
Ricky: Directly to the forehead
Ocean: Great chat everyone

Ocean, near tears: Please, Ricky, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Chapter Text

Ezra: Noel, gather the others. We need to have another Penny-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.

Noel: So what’s for dinner? 
Penny: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! 
Noel: … 
Noel: Is it soup? 
Penny: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* 
Noel: Please, enough with the soup puns! 
Penny: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. 
Noel: STOP! 
*one hour later* 
Noel: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

Noel (Waking up from anesthesia): I'm a witch. I mixed some herbs and crystals together and now (points at Penny) my cat knows the f-word.

Noel: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do? 
Penny: Oh… I’d mildly trouble everyone. 
Noel: Alright, so what would you do? 
Penny: I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw. 
Penny: I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working. 
Penny: I’d make every wing on girls eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one. 
Penny: And I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together. 
Penny: And then lastly, I’d snip a little hole in every tea bag. 
Noel: 
Noel: Remind me to never allow you to have power.

Noel: And here we see Ezra and Penny in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh. 
Ezra: Gaelic bread. 
Penny: Grueling brad. 
Ezra: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

Penny: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog". 
Noel: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

Penny: Where are you going? 
Noel: Hell, eventually.

Ezra, to Noel: You know, Penny can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. 
Ezra: *blows airhorn at Penny* GET FUCKED!

Noel, acting tough: You guys don't want to mess with me. 
Penny: Yeah, Noel will straight up cry in public. Don't try him. 
Noel: Exactly, I will straight up- 
Noel: 
Noel, tearing up: Penny, why would you say that?!

Chapter Text

Carolyn: I’m having a baby.
Penny: Oh, cangradu-
Carolyn, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here

Penny: I have a 1:30 appointment. 
Carolyn: Which doctor? 
Penny: No, I want the regular doctor.

Carolyn: A person can really hear themselves think out here. 
Carolyn’s mind: Did you leave the stove on? The front door unlocked!? WILL YOU DIE ALONE!? 
Carolyn: Well, that was a mistake.

Carolyn: What kinds of sounds annoy you? 
Penny: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones? 
Carolyn, now interested: Let's say imaginary. 
Penny: Spiders wearing flip flops.

Carolyn: Penny is at that very special age where a kid only has one thing on their mind. 
Other Nurse: Boys? 
Penny: Homicide.

Penny: Mom, I got suspended from school… 
Carolyn: WHAT?!?! What did you do? 
Penny: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler, and he said “there is an idiot at the end of this ruler”. 
Carolyn: And…? 
Penny: I asked which end… 
Carolyn, unable to contain her laughter: Okay, you just made my day.

Penny waking up after surgery: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost! 
Carolyn, unfazed: That’s called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illegal.

*At the police station* 
Carolyn: Hi, I’m here for Penny. 
Police officer: Who’s Penny? 
Carolyn: Ah, you must be new.

Carolyn: What are you two arguing about this time? 
Virgil: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly! 
Penny: Cry me a table, Virgil.

Penny: If you water water, it grows. 
Carolyn: ...What. 
Karnak: They've got a point.

Carolyn: Virgil is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day he's fun to be around. 

Virgil: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.

Carolyn: You have to apologize to Karnak! 
Virgil: Fine! 
Virgil: Unfuck you, or whatever!

Carolyn: What’s your favorite color? 
Virgil: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature. 
Carolyn: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP? 
Virgil: My favorite color is electric blue...

Virgil: You read my diary? 
Karnak: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

Carolyn: I’m telling you, my team is competent. 
Penny, rushing in: Mom! Virgil tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Karnak: Are you okay? 
Carolyn, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions. 
Karnak: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Carolyn?

Carolyn: Karnak noticed only today that he can label his email inboxes, but he took apart his entire bloody laptop two weeks ago. 
Virgil: This reminds me of the Karnak who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi. 
Carolyn: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Karnak.

Penny, texting Carolyn: Mom! Help! I'm being kidnapped! 
Carolyn: Where are you? 
Penny: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help. 
Carolyn: I'll call Karnak. 
Karnak, answering their cell: Y'ello? 
Carolyn: Where's Penny? They texted me that they were being kidnapped. 
Karnak: Penny? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me- 
Karnak: 
Karnak: I'll call you back. *Hangs up* 
Karnak: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD! 
Penny: WHO ARE YOU!?

Carolyn, holding out a cookie for Karnak: Look! This ones a heart, that’s how I feel about you! 
Karnak: *Ugly crying* 
Carolyn, holding out another cookie for Virgil: This ones like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! 
Virgil, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!

Karnak, Virgil & Penny: *screaming* 
Carolyn: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Penny?! 
Karnak: Wait, why are you asking Penny that when Virgil and I are also here? 
Carolyn: Because Penny wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

Carolyn: Remember what I told you. 
Virgil: Don’t be a cunt.

Carolyn: Did you buy eggs like I asked? 
Virgil: Even better! 
Carolyn: What the fuck did you- 
Virgil: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

Karnak: I have an idea. 
Carolyn: A good idea? 
Karnak: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Karnak: Why are you late? 
Carolyn: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness. 
Karnak: Overslept? 
Carolyn: Overslept.

Karnak: I hate you sometimes. 
Carolyn: Well according to this picture Virgil drew of us holding hands that's not true. 
Karnak: Carolyn, you drew that. 
Carolyn: It doesn't matter.

Penny: It’s beautiful outside this morning! 
Carolyn: It’s 2AM. 
Penny: It’s Beautiful outside! 
Ezra: We’re indoors. 
Penny: It’s beautiful! 
Noel: It’s storming. 
Penny: It’s!

Ezra: Today at 7 am, Penny poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. 
Virgil: I watched Penny brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. 
Carolyn: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Virgil: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?? 
Penny: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔 
Carolyn: Why were you microwaving a lemon??? 
Penny: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots. 
Karnak: Did you burn an orange too? How??? 
Penny: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Carolyn, about Virgil: Karnak, he's an asshole! He has purposely stabbed you on more than one occasion! 
Karnak: Some of those stabbings were accidental! 
Carolyn: 
Karnak: Okay, well, I know for a fact the third time was accidental.

Noel: I truly hate it here
Penny: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is it? 
Karnak: Now replace “it” with “women”. Not so funny now, is women? 
Virgil: Now replace “funny” with “women”. Not so women now, is funny? 
Carolyn: I’m having a fucking stroke. 
Karnak: Now replace “stroke” with “baby”. Congratulations!

Virgil: I am convinced Ezra and Penny share a brain cell. 
Noel: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

Karnak: I just ended a five year relationship. 
Virgil: Oh no, are you okay? 
Karnak: It's okay, it wasn't mine.

Ezra: You disgust me. 
Virgil: *eating a kitkat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

Penny: What do you guys do when you're stressed? 
Ezra: Try and calm myself down! 
Karnak: Sleep. 
Noel: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out. 
Virgil: I don't.

Virgil: Noel, don’t go picking a fight with Penny. Don’t forget, they’re powerful, they could make life difficult for you. 
Noel: Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life.

Karnak: Penny... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? 
Penny: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. 
Karnak: 
Karnak: I wrote sanitize, Penny.

Virgil: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? 
Karnak: ...What???

Penny: I regret nothing!!!
Virgil: I regret everything!!!

(this quote could apply to a lot of things for these two lol)

Virgil: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way. 
Karnak: I almost died. 
Virgil: That... was my favorite memory.

(They act like they hate each other but I promise Virgil and Karnak do care about each other)

Virgil: What am I supposed to do? 
Penny: If I were you? I’d try to make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in. 
Virgil: I’m an atheist. 
Penny: Then just get ready to die I guess.

Virgil: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Penny ate an entire tube of lipstick. 
Penny, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

Chapter Text

Penny: When I was a kid, I had this game called worm church where I'd bring worms into my room and read the bible.

Penny: The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that it was meant for babies.

Penny: Goodnight moon.
Penny: Goodnight tree.
Penny: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

Penny: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

Penny: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

Penny: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Penny: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

Penny: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

Penny: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read.

Noel: While you were caught up in your heterosexuality, I studied the way of the blade!

Ezra: I'm so tired of this life. I want to be a roomba. I want knives taped to me. And I want to be set loose.

Penny: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

Ezra, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Noel: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

Virgil: *bites lip* Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? 
Cop: That isn’t gonna work, hands behind your back.

Virgil: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!

Karnak: I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed.

Ezra: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.