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A Dork’s Guide to Matchmaking Shenanigans

Summary:

Winter break has started and all Megumi wants is to spend it with her three best friends, Tomi, Yuki, and Natsuno. Friends since forever, the four girls plan to spend their vacation watching romance anime, gossiping about school… and, of course, flirting and matchmaking.
Usually Megumi found it ridiculous that her friends were considering finding a date. But, this time, a certain good-natured boy might just change her opinion…

Chapter 1: Day 1: Sleepover

Chapter Text

I was about to start high school. Me and my friends Tomi Kisaragi, Yuki Takamiya and Natsuno Minami would hang out on my house and watch romance anime while blabbing endlessly about school. Tomi would talk about her future musical career. Natsuno would talk about the latest gossip from her colleagues from the track team. Yuki would blab on and on about ‘some flirty, rich kid who won’t stop following me’, and we all knew who she was talking about.

Shu Amiguchi. One of the most popular boys in school. A total playboy, rich, smart, athletic and popular with the ladies. Definitely not the most responsible guy—he drove a motorcycle to school, and I didn’t know if he even had a license for that—and close friends with a gang leader from our school. And Yuki was always telling us how he wouldn’t stop following her and his poor (in her sukeban girl point of view) attempts at flirting—which she would snap off in a blink of an eye. How, for God’s sake, did that guy fall for a girl like Yuki? They were TOTALLY opposites (as far as I know)!

It was on one of those hangouts, at the beginning of winter break, that it all started.

 

“Hey, girls!” Natsuno said one day. “Know what I heard from the track girls? It seems a new student will be transferring over to Sakura for the beginning of the year!”

“Really?” Tomi nearly dropped her soda. “Geez, is it a boy or a girl?”

“From what I’VE heard,” Yuki put down her own can of soda, “boy. And that he’s moving to the old Meiji-era house across your street, Megumi.”

“Really?” I took another drink of my Coke. “Which grade?”

“First-year, like the four of us,” Tomi said as she took a sip from her Pepsi. “Wonder if they’ll put him on A, B, C or D. This whole thing’s a blast.”

“Well, high school IS starting this year,” Natsuno agreed. “They might have already picked a class for him beforehand. What was his name again, Usami-chan?”

“If I remember correctly… it was Juro Izumi.” Tomi put down her empty can of Pepsi. “Hey, Megumi, any more Pepsis on the fridge?”

“Bought twenty on-line yesterday,” I replied. “Bought some Hey-Cs for Nat-chan and Yuki-chan, too, if you don’t want soda. Got some Cokes… and Schweppes, too.”

“Geez, Megumi, you bought the whole market!” Tomi returned with another Pepsi. “How much did I drink anyway?”

“At least some two liters, Usami.” Yuki finished her soda and made her way to the fridge. “Make it a sleepover?”

“Parents not here,” I said. “I’ve rented some nice anime to watch.”

“Romance?”

“Cheesy romance, mushy romance, teen romance, overrated romance, Out-of-Fashion Bikini Land… Pick whatever you like.”

“What’s ‘Out-of-Fashion Bikini Land’?” Tomi raised her eyebrows.

“Exactly what I said,” I replied, opening my fifth can of Coke. “It’s some adult fantasy anime where a random guy wakes up and finds himself in a land where women are only allowed to wear out-of-fashion bikinis, period. Nothing else. Pretty high rating for my taste.”

“Not watching that, definitely.”

“That’s why I did not rent it. I knew none of you would like the idea,” I said. “Any ideas, Nat-chan, Yuki-chan?”

“Hey, what about that one, See You in the Next Station ? It was a hit.” Natsuno opened her third can of Schweppes.

“Mega-mushy. Geez, I’ve watched it ten times and the plot doesn’t look any better. Who waits for a train for A THOUSAND YEARS? Even if it was that girl’s lover, it’s RIDICULOUS. I’d leave after six hours.” Tomi took a long sip of her Pepsi. “What about AI Love You ?”

“That robot movie? Yuck.” Yuki sipped her can of Ramune. “That cyborg girl…what was her name? Mada? Every word she said to Scottie seemed like coming from a mushy love confession from a Shakespearean play.”

“That’s true, even though it’s one of my favorites, it’s still mega-mushy.” Tomi sighed. “Got any ideas, Megumi?”

“Blank. Yuki-chan?”

“I’d vote for Hitman . Best Mafia-themed anime EVER.” Yuki actually seemed excited. “And the main character, that Japanese-Italian hitman, Anita Hanashiro? She ROCKS.”

“Dunno… isn’t Hitman rated M17+ for violence and language? How come you’re allowed to watch it?”

“Geez, when your dad’s in jail for stabbing a yakuza and your mom’s effin’ somewhere else you can’t even remember the name, you don’t have much of a barrier between what shit is rated for you and what is practically BEGGING for you to watch it.”

“OK, OK.” I sighed. “So, either it’s too mushy or too violent. Any other ideas?”

“What do you think about Ninth Grade Play ? It’s not mushy and not too violent… although there’s that guy who kind of reminds me of Captain Pompadour who keeps punching the lights out of everybody who lays a hand on his (oblivious to his feelings) crush.” Tomi suggested.

“I like Ninth Grade Play , but we need the approval of Yuki-chan and Megumi-chan.” Natsuno said.

“I approve.” Yuki turned her head towards me. “Whaddya think, Megumi-chan?”

“I’d say we watch it. I never watched it before, and you say it’s good, so it’s worth a try.”

Yuki and Tomi made themselves comfortable in the sofa and set down their empty cans of soda.

“Everybody brought a suitcase to spend the night?” I asked.

“Yup!” The three girls replied in unison.

“Then let’s do this!” I said.

Natsuno ran to the kitchen to prepare the popcorn and bring extra Pepsis, Cokes, Ramunes and Schweppes for the session.

 

Halfway through the movie, we had to pause because Tomi needed to go to the bathroom. No surprise, after all, she drank seven Pepsis in a short period of time.

“Yeesh, what IS this?” Natsuno wondered. “This movie is GREAT. Amy-Nathalie Bell ROCKS. I mean, she is the female lead of the ninth grade play, an unrecognized genius, and a great friend, and she keeps having those flashbacks on her family tragedies. She’s facing her demons with a brave face and I LOVE IT. Usami-chan deserves a hug for this suggestion.”

Ninth Grade Play absolutely rocks.” I agreed with her.

Tomi returned from the bathroom.

“So, are you liking the movie?” She asked.

Natsuno threw her arms around Tomi.

“I LOVE IT!” She was practically screaming. “THIS MOVIE ROCKS!”

“Hey, hey, stop yelling in my ear or else I’ll get deaf, Natsuno-chan.” Tomi protested. “I’ll get another Pepsi and then we can continue the movie.”

She returned with said Pepsi can a few minutes later and we continued the movie.

 

By the time we finished the movie, it was 10:00 p.m. and I had drunk some fifteen Cokes.

“This caffeine bombs probably won’t let me sleep,” I muttered under my breath. “Everyone…?”

“I’m here.” Natsuno mumbled.

“Drowsy.” Yuki said. “Usami’s taking a bath. I feel like I got beaten to a pulp.”

“That is called soda hangover, Yuki,” I mumbled. “I’ve drunk fifteen Cokes, Tomi probably had this amount of Pepsis, Natsuno’s had at least ten Schweppes Citrus and you drunk about that of Ramune.”

“Geez.”

“Somebody want to sleep?”

I guess I should have made that question sooner, because Natsuno’s energy sprang back at the mention of the word sleep .

“We’re gonna be high schoolers!” She practically screamed. “What kind of high schooler sleeps at 10 p.m. and watches only 1 movie?!”

“Are you saying we should make it an all-nighter?!” Yuki jumped up. “I TOTALLY agree!”

I was hoping to get support from Tomi, but as soon as she came she was already screaming:

“ALL-NIGHTERS!!!”

Well, we spent hours fighting over which movies to watch, what amount of popcorn each of us had eaten, and how much soda we had drunk. I made the calculations and the number I reached was so absurd, I won’t try to write it here, but I think it looks somewhat like this:

602 214 129 000 000 000 000 000

Just kidding. We did NOT drink a mol of milliliters of soda that night.

At least, I hope so.