Chapter Text
Erwin looked up into the mirror. He let out a long sigh as he grabbed the glass champagne and downed it into his throat. He pushed his hair back into place. It was all ruffled up from the congratulation wishes from his family and friends.
He walked out of the bathroom. Loud noises of people shouting, singing and banging music hit Erwin like a truck as he opened the door. Looking around he spotted one of the little side tables with new glasses of champagne on it. He switched the old glass for a new one and went back into the crowd. He walked around until he found his group of friends.
They were all gathered around the gorgeous woman of the evening. Light brown long hair, a doll-like face with cute freckles. Hazel eyes and light-red full lips. She was the prettiest woman Erwin has ever seen. And now she was his bride to be. An hour earlier she said “Yes!” to him. Erwin’s father organized this party, invited his family, her family, his friends, her friends - and most importantly, the press. She was brought in by her friends, he got down on one knee, spoke a little speech his dad’s assistant wrote for him and asked Marie to marry him.
Of course she said yes. Of course everybody cheered and celebrated. Everybody was so happy and delighted. Everybody but the groom to be. Erwin liked Marie. She was a sweet soul. And she was as beautiful as a human can be. But he didn’t love her. He never did. Their fate was determined a year ago, when Erwin’s father first got to know Marie’s father.
Charles Smith was the CEO of one of the country's biggest tech companies. His company was building and selling different types of computers, laptops and tablets. The company had more than 500 employees. Royce Taylor had the country’s largest computer reselling company. So when Charles and Royce met at a business dinner in their town, Charles knew he had to get into contract with the other. Once Royce told Charles about his beautiful daughter in her mid twenties, Charles figured out a plan. He wanted his son Erwin to follow into his footsteps. And he certainly wanted the company to stay in the family, therefore he wanted grandchildren.
“This is Marie.” Charles said to Erwin as he placed his phone with a photo of her on it in front of his son during dinner on a fateful Thursday evening, two weeks after he met Royce. “I want you to marry her.”
Erwin started coughing as he choked on his salad. “Father, what the fuck.”
“Her father is Royce Taylor. Our companies will work best together if there is a deeper connection than just a business contract.”
And this was how Erwin’s fate was determined. There wasn't a lot of discussion about it. Erwin knew he couldn't argue against his father. Not that he ever really tried. He was scared of his father. He saw how his father treated his sibling when they pursued a ’lifestyle’ - as their father liked to call it - his father wasn't happy with. He witnessed how his sibling was kicked out and wiped out from the family. Pretending as if they never existed. And while Erwin certainly never wanted to be the heir to this business, nor wanted to marry a woman he didn't love, speaking up against his father scared him. Marie and Erwin were soon introduced to each other and started dating and a year later they celebrated their engagement. Hooray.
“Erwin, your fiancée is amazing.” Nile laughed and wrapped his arm around Erwin’s shoulders pulling him into the circle.
Erwin smiled slightly. “She is.” He agreed. He was glad at least that wasn’t a lie - unlike this entire party. They were celebrating the biggest lie Erwin has ever told in his entire life. He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with Marie. Just the thought about it made him want to steal two bottles of champagne and disappear into the woods behind the restaurant. While Erwin was smiling to his friends, he felt sick enough to puke.
And he truly felt sorry about that. He wanted to love this woman as she deserved. Sometimes he wondered if she felt the same, or if she felt Erwin’s disinterest. Marie leaned against Erwin to hug him. It made him so uncomfortable.
The situation got even worse when in the corner of his eye he saw a man with a camera approaching. Erwin’s look wandered over to his father. Stonecold Charles Smith was looking over to his son. Erwin wrapped his arms around his bride and pulled her closer. The camera flash lit up the room.
“Any more champagne for you, gentlemen?” A small waiter asked into Erwin’s group of friends. On one hand he was carrying a tray with a dozen glasses of champagne while the other was tucked neatly behind his back. He tried smiling but Erwin noticed his annoyed gaze when his friends were grabbing the glasses without even looking at the waiter. Erwin finally let go of Marie.
Erwin rushed over and grabbed one of the glasses. “Thank you so much.” He smiled.
The waiter smiled back - a bit more genuine this time. “Can I have this one?” He pointed at the empty glass in Erwin’s hand.
“Ah, yeah sure. Thank you so much.” Erwin handed the other the glass.
“You said that already.” The small man replied teasingly, with a smirk. He turned around and walked away. Erwin let out a tiny giggle. The black haired man disappeared in the kitchen and glanced back at Erwin one last time.
-
Erwin stumbled against the wall. He pressed down the handle of the door to the backyard of the restaurant, but to his disappointment it didn't open on the first try. Stupid door. Maybe his strength had also left him since it had gotten quite tough to even stand. He tried again and again until the door finally sprung open. Erwin stumbled outside until he fell on the floor. The endless glasses of champagne made the big man lose control.
“Fuck.” He cursed. Erwin closed the door while standing up. Dust flew around in the air as he slapped around on his pants to clean them. “Stupid door.” He cussed.
“Are you okay?” A voice echoed from the corner.
Erwin’s head snapped up. The sudden movement made him stumble back a little.
The young man in front of him quickly put his cigarette in his mouth and rushed forward to catch Erwin. “Woah there, big guy. Come here.” He guided the much taller man towards a plastic bench in the corner. “Sit down.” Erwin dropped on the bench.
He placed his head into his hands as his elbows leaned on his thighs. “Shit. Sorry.” How embarrassing.
The smaller man continued smoking. “No worries. Not the first drunk person I'm seeing tonight.”
Erwin looked up again. “Hey.” He pointed at the man in front of him. “You’re the funny waiter.”
“Funny?” The other said. “Levi.”
“Erwin.”
“Aren’t you the groom?” Levi asked.
“Unfortunately I am.” Erwin’s eyes widened as he realized what he said. “I mean-” Shit. Shit. Shit. Watch your mouth, Smith.
“You don’t owe me an explanation, man. I’m not here to judge. Just here to smoke.” He grabbed his pack and pulled out a new cigarette. He held the package over to Erwin, but the tall man only lifted his hand to decline.
Levi pulled his lighter out and tried lighting his cigarette. The lukewarm breeze of the night made him take a few times before his cigarette finally lit up. The smoke dissolved into the air as he blew it out.
“Wanna talk about it?” Levi asked.
Erwin let out a sigh. “Not sure what there is to talk about.”
Levi nodded as he took another drag from his cigarette. “That's fair.” He pressed the cigarette down into the large ashtray next to the bench. “If you ever wanna talk, you know where I work.”
Erwin smiled and nodded. “That's very kind.”
“Wait here.” Levi said as he walked over to the door blowing out the last bit of his smoke. The door screeched as he disappeared behind it.
Erwin let his head drop against the wall behind him.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get out of this situation? Will I ever get out of the situation? Will this be my future? Caught in a lie, caught in a marriage that won't make me happy? Maybe it'll get better. Maybe I'll start loving her. Maybe she'll become the love of my life at some point.
A tear rolled down Erwin's face. He wanted happiness. It was always his big dream to marry someone he loved. This was not what he wanted. She was not who he wanted. And he was doomed to stay with her. There was no turning back now. If he'd turn away now after proposing to her he would not only embarrass his father but also Marie. He couldn't do this to Marie.
Luckily his spiral of thoughts was interrupted by another screech of the door. Levi stepped out, carefully carrying a glass and a mug.
Without looking up, he walked over to Erwin.
“Water and coffee.” He placed both next to Erwin on the bench. “You should sober up a little before getting back in there.”
Erwin looked down on both beverages. He smiled. “Thank you.” His look went back up to Levi. “Why are you so nice to me?”
“You were the only one nice to me tonight. So, I'm just giving something back.” Levi crossed his arms. “Listen, I wasn't joking when I said, you know where I work when you wanna talk. I've been working for your people for years and safe to say they are a bit shit, no wonder you seem irritated as fuck and feel the need to get absolutely wasted on your engagement night. There's clearly something you're unhappy with.”
Erwin blinked. How did he look through him this quickly when no one else of his surrounding, long life friends and family was able to?
“Just stop with the champagne for tonight, for your own good.” Levi smiled slightly. He placed a hand on Erwin's arm. “I have to go back to work now. See you soon.”
He quickly turned around and walked away.
“Bye, Levi.” Erwin said.
Levi stopped shortly at the sound of his name but disappeared again behind the screeching door.
Erwin sat outside a little longer. He breathed in the fresh air while enjoying his water and coffee. His foggy mind finally started clearing up after a bit. He wasn't tracking the time, but most likely sat out for another 30 minutes, maybe an hour, before he decided to get inside again. He grabbed the empty glass and mug and walked back inside.
-
Erwin blinked carefully to get used to the bright light shining on him. He turned his head to look on the other side of his bed. Marie was laying next to him peacefully sleeping. Erwin checked the watch around his left wrist.
7.48am.
It was a Sunday morning. A week passed since their engagement party. Somehow Erwin managed to avoid Marie a little - more like completely. The entire week he came home late and left for work early. But today he had no plans. And having no plans made him panic a little. He looked outside. The weather seemed great. I could go for a run.
He carefully tried sitting up when he suddenly felt a hand on his back.
“Morning.” Marie said silently.
“Morning.” Erwin said. “I was gonna go for a run.”
“Come back. I haven't seen you properly all week.”
Erwin sighed. “Yeah, I was busy.”
“So,” she started, “come back to bed. We are engaged and haven't properly celebrated as two yet.”
Erwin turned around. Get it over with. He leaned down and pressed his lips against Marie's. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
Erwin placed his hand on Marie's panties and started drawing circles. She hummed into his mouth as she pushed her tongue against his lips. He opened his mouth granting access.
He pushed his hand into Marie's underwear and immediately pushed a finger inside of her. She threw her head back. Erwin kissed along her jawline until he reached her neck.
The first time Erwin and Marie slept with each other was after a few weeks of them dating. Erwin has slept with a fair amount of women before. Although it wasn't the best feeling in the world, as society always made it seem, he still enjoyed sex - at least he thought he did. So he enjoyed it with Marie as well. Even though he did, they haven't had sex a lot of times yet. It was probably less than ten times in the year they were dating. Next to the fact that they quickly had a routine with it Erwin also slightly panicked every time she initiated sex. Their intimacy also usually lasted a short amount of time. With little to no talking. Overall it wasn't the most pleasing experience. Erwin doubted it was for either of them.
Erwins mouth had reached Marie's chest by now. He had pushed up her shirt far enough so her breasts were free. He knew she loved him playing with her boobs. His tongue flung around her nipple while his hand switched between pushing his fingers in- and outside of her and rubbing her clit. She let out tiny whimpers of pleasure and moans while Erwin prepared her until she finally reached into Erwins pants to do the same for him.
She grabbed around his dick, finding it still saggy.
“Erwin?” She asked. “Are you okay?”
He stopped his work and laid on his back. “Yeah, yeah. It's just-” He pulled his shorts down a bit so he was free of any fabric. “Just continue, it'll get hard soon.” He closed his eyes trying to relax.
Thoughts of doubts and panic ran through his mind once again. Not now, for fucks sake.
Marie continued to pump. She sat down on his one thigh and started rubbing herself up and down while she was trying her best to make Erwin get hard.
Erwin opened his eyes and watched the beautiful woman riding his thigh. What a gorgeous sight. And I'm so turned off.
He felt horrible. Miserable. He knew he'll hurt her.
“Shit. Marie.” He stopped her. Erwin sighed. “Shit, this isn't working.”
“Am I doing something wrong?” She asked worried.
“No, no, not at all. I just don't seem to be in the mood.” He explained to her while he fixed her hair. “If you want I can still go down on you.” He offered.
Marie smiled as she shook her head. “It's fine. I'm glad we had a few minutes together. You can go for a run if you want to. We'll try again at a different time.” She smiled and climbed off of him. He leaned over to give her a kiss.
“You're amazing.” He said quickly as he walked over to his closet. He reached for his shorts, a tank top and his running shoes. The urge to get out of there as soon as possible made him change in lightspeed. “I'll be back asap.” Erwin shouted as he walked outside their front door.
The air hugged his body when he stepped out of the front door to his apartment building. He quickly started running his favorite track. Erwin loved running. It made his mind clear out. All the thoughts pushing down his shoulders were being let free as soon as he started running. The world felt like it both stopped and ran faster.
After five minutes of running he entered the woods, running along a small river. He heard birds tweeting and distant chatting from hikers. Erwin ran all the way up until he reached his favorite spot. A little bench between a few trees and a lot of wild flowers with a perfect overview over his town. He was lucky living in a suburb, close enough to a bigger city for entertainment, but in the middle of a gorgeous landscape. A smile appeared on his face as he looked over the fields, buildings and little humans and cars moving through the area. Erwin sat down on the bench.
He just sat there, watching the world happen. A breeze stroked through his hair. Erwin wasn’t sure how long he was sitting there - his sensitivity for time was none existing, but at some point he got up with a deep sigh and started running to finish his round. Even if he wanted to, he knew he couldn't stay on his spot forever.
When he arrived back home, he heard voices echoing from the kitchen. He quickly took his shoes off and walked over. Marie and Nile sat at the dining table, next to each other. Both of them had a cup of steaming coffee in front of them. They were turned towards each other, laughing. Marie’s hand rested on Nile’s arm. She quickly pulled it back when she noticed Erwin standing in the doorframe.
“Welcome back.” She said. They never implemented any pet names for each other. Sometimes it felt weird how their sentences ended so abruptly.
Nile’s smile disappeared, while Marie’s didn’t disappear but changed. It was like her happiness left her. Every time Nile was with them, in the same room with them, at the same party as they were, Marie and him were like magnets being pulled towards each other. They always ended up together. With him she seemed genuine. With him she seemed happy.
She is as unhappy as I am. Erwin thought. He knew they should talk about this. But he didn’t know how. And even though he was pretty sure about her feelings towards him - and seemingly towards Nile - he had a bit of doubt, being in fear to talk about this.
“Nile came over to see you.” Marie quickly added. “Coffee?” She asked Erwin.
He shook his head with a slight smile. “I’m good, thanks.” He turned his face towards Nile, expecting an answer, an explanation to why he was here, on a Sunday morning at 8.45am.
“Oh, yeah. Your dad called me this morning. He scheduled a dinner for tonight. I figured you might want to come along.” Nile said. He had a leading position in Erwin’s father’s sales department. So, Nile and Erwin had to work together a lot. Erwin didn’t have a real position in the company, but him being the heir and potential follow up for his father, he helped here and there. He always saw himself as an assisting right hand for his father.
His sibling hated their father. In return their father hated his sibling. Hanji has never been what Charles Smith wanted them to be. They were a rebel in school, while still being the top student of their class. Instead of being interested in the family business, they wanted to become a scientist. So, they immediately started working during and even more after school to finance their studies on their own and soon started to major in Biology.
The final straw happened, when they came out as nonbinary when they turned 22. Of course Erwin - and also their mother - accepted it and were supportive. But their father has never adapted and still used the wrong pronouns for Hanji. Even though it was always clear for Hanji, from then on they weren’t a potential candidate to become Charles Smith’s successor.
Erwin was incredibly proud of Hanji. Instead of being the spineless coward he was, they pursued their dream. They were living their true identity and were just being themself. Soon after they graduated they started working in a lab and have been working in research ever since.
Even though their father cut all ties with Hanji quickly after their coming out, Erwin and them got along amazingly. They were best friends. Erwin knew he could always tell Hanji everything and vice versa. Erwin was the first they called to tell him they proposed to their boyfriend.
Moblit and Hanji met in school, started university together and became lab partners in their first semester and stuck together ever since, even choosing the same workplace. Erwin liked Moblit a lot. And Erwin loved Hanji even more.
Erwin got furious when their father tried to restrict Erwin from inviting Hanji to his engagement party. He got so furious he even thought about calling it off, until Erwin's father finally agreed. The one thing Erwin wasn't fully honest to Hanji about was his relationship with Marie. He was pretty sure Hanji suspected something. In fact he just knew Hanji knew, but he never spoke it out. He never spoke it out to anybody. How could he admit such an awful thing?
Instead he lived a lie. Two lies. One being the joy of being Marie's fiance, the other being the excitement of being the Smiths heir. He hated both. He wanted to be neither. But he didn't even know what he wanted. Outside of being Erwin Smith, the heir to the Smith enterprise, he didn't know who he was. And this haunted him.
So, every couple of days, Erwin joined a company dinner, chatted with potential customers and fulfilled his duty as a son. And he hated it. Like he hated nearly everything in his life.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll join.” Erwin agreed. “Is that alright for you?” He asked Marie.
She nodded. “Of course. I know how important you are to the company.”
Nile got up from the chair. “I'll pick you up at 6pm. Be ready.” He said. “Thank you for the coffee and lovely chat, Marie.” Nile smiled. He walked over to the direction of the door.
“She really is a good one, Erwin.” He said while passing him. Nile quickly rushed out of the door and closed it behind him.
Marie got up and started silently cleaning the kitchen. Erwin decided to leave the situation uncommented. He turned around and rushed into the bathroom to take a shower.
-
The doorbell rang punctually at 6pm. Erwin checked his looks one last time in the mirror. “I'm leaving.” He shouted.
“Bye.” Marie responded. “I'll sleep at home tonight by the way.” She added as she walked into the hallway.
“Okay.” Erwin turned towards her. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I'll see you tomorrow?” He asked. She smiled and nodded.
Erwin grabbed his key and walked out of the apartment. He quickly walked over to Nile's limousine and hopped on the passenger seat.
“Hey.” Nile greeted him.
“Hey there.” Erwin said.
Nile has been a friend of Erwin's ever since they went to high school together. But they grew apart over the past years. Their conversations had already been declining rapidly but especially ever since Erwin introduced Marie to his friend group, Nile stopped talking to Erwin nearly completely. They spent more time than ever but somehow talked less and less. Therefore they also spent this entire drive in silence.
After 15 minutes they stopped at Erwin’s father’s favorite restaurant. The exact restaurant where Erwin also celebrated his engagement. Nile and Erwin got out of the car and walked into the restaurant. They looked around, scanning all the customers until they found the table with Erwin's father. The clients have not arrived yet, it was only the company's team so far.
Their waiter came up to their table with a tablet in his hands. “Good evening, gentlemen. Can I bring you a first round of drinks while you're waiting for the rest?” He asked.
Erwin's face snapped up at the voice. His memory was foggy but he immediately recognized the voice. It was the waiter who helped him during that night - during his engagement party. The exact waiter who saw Erwin at his lowest. Luckily he didn't go too much into detail about his problems back then, but the waiter could probably guess what Erwins issues that night were.
The waiter smiled slightly as their eyes met. “Could we have five glasses of your best white wine please?” Nile ordered.
The waiter tapped along on his tablet. “Of course, I'll get these as soon as possible.” He turned around and disappeared behind the bar. Erwin watched the slim man reach for a bottle of wine and open it. He poured in five glasses and carefully placed them on a tray.
Erwin quickly looked down as the man was approaching them again. He didn't want the waiter to think he was staring - which he was but that wasn't the point.
Shit. What was his name again?
“Five glasses of our best white wine.” He said as he placed them in front of each person. Once again the only person to say ‘Thank you’ was Erwin.
The waiter once again disappeared behind the bar and started cleaning some glasses.
Erwin had to talk to him. He needed to clear the air as soon as possible, making sure the young man was not spilling any secrets about him. Just imagining the drama and stress it would cause if the waiter talked about Erwin having a breakdown at his own engagement.
But how should he approach him? He obviously couldn’t talk to him while he came up to their table. Going up to the bar could work. But not to talk. Erwin couldn’t show that the whole purpose of him approaching the other was to shut down any boiling rumors. He looked around on their table. No water. “I'm getting a glass of water.” Erwin finally said as he stood up.
“You can call over the waiter.” Nile said.
“It's fine.” Erwin said and walked over to the bar.
“Hey.” He said once he arrived.
The young waiter swung around.
“Oh– hello.” He said and smiled.
“Listen I don't know if you remember me from my engagement a couple of days ago-” Erwin started.
“I do. I'm surprised, you even remember me, you were pretty wasted.” The waiter smirked.
Erwin stopped for a second but started grinning, letting out a small laugh.
The waiter's eyes widened as he remembered who and where he was and most importantly who stood in front of him. “S-so sorry, that was rude of me.” Erwin’s father - and therefore Erwin, too - was a well known regular at the restaurant. So the waiter knew, if he caused these customers to not come back, they would most likely fire him immediately.
Erwin raised a hand. “No, I needed that laugh. You're funny.”
“You already told me that night.” The waiter smirked.
“Did I?” Erwin scratched his head. “I can't remember as much as I would like to.”
“It's alright.” The waiter leaned over a bit. “I keep my secrets.” He looked deep into Erwin’s eyes.
Erwin smiled. “I'm glad.” Damn, he has pretty eyes.
“You probably aren't remembering that, but already back then I told you I'm here if you needed a talk.”
“Oddly enough, I do remember you saying that.” Erwin's eyes wandered down to the waiter's name tag. “Levi.”
Levi raised an eyebrow. “You remember me saying that but didn't remember my name?” He laughed.
“I think I was a bit distracted by the nice gestures. Usually people aren't this nice and understanding.” Erwin said.
“I think you're around the wrong people.”
“I might be.” Erwin locked eyes with Levi. He cleared his throat after a bit. “Anyways, thank you for offering. I hope to see you around again.”
“I work here, so.” Levi smiled. He reached behind the bar, took a glass and poured in some water. “Here's your water.”
“Oh, you heard that? I already forgot about it.” Erwin took it and smiled.
“I'm good at my job.” Levi responded.
“I can tell you are.” Erwin started walking backwards. “Talk to you later.”
Levi smiled.
What was that? This felt weirdly flirty? Was Levi flirting with Erwin? But Levi couldn’t possibly be flirting with him. Was Erwin flirting back? No. He wasn’t. Why should he flirt? He’s straight, and engaged. Why was Erwin even thinking about it? Levi was just nice. He’s a kind person. He seems like a kind person. Erwins heart started racing. He quickly shook his head to get rid of his thoughts. I wasn’t flirting.
Erwin walked back over to his table. Nile greeted him back. He always tried his best acting as best friends in front of his father. Every time it was just the two of them they barely talked. And if they did talk it was usually limited to work related topics. But as soon as Erwin’s father was near Nile insisted on a talk. Small talk, random uncalled deep talk about his feelings, the weather. Just anything to keep the conversation going. They used to have great conversations when they were still in school. But it just shifted as soon as Nile started working in their company, when he suddenly cared more about impressing Erwin’s father than being Erwin’s friend. Another point why Erwin started distancing himself from Nile. He felt very discarded by Nile. Worse even, Erwin had a feeling Nile was using him to gain sympathy from his father.
Once again Nile started a weird monologue to Erwin, yapping about some new marketing strategy. Frankly speaking, Erwin wasn’t really paying attention. His heart beat still hasn’t recovered to come back to a normal pace. He looked past Nile over to the bar, watching the slim black haired man move around behind the bar, like a leaf in the wind, levitating almost. He seemed very stressed and yet stayed so elegant and calm. But why did he make Erwin’s heart pound so strongly? His spirling thoughts were interrupted when the clients arrived.
-
Hours passed before they finally left the restaurant. It was half past midnight. An hour later than the restaurant should've closed. But Erwin assumed it was worth the long evening. They closed a new deal with their clients.
Most of them were packing up the documents, Erwin’s dad and Nile were joking and chatting with the customers. Meanwhile Erwin was already on his way outside. He waited in the hallway, away from the other people.
He tapped away on his phone, clicking on any app he could find to make the time go by quicker. At some point he landed on Solitaire. He was leaning against a wall when he heard a voice behind him.
“You know they say Solitaire is a game for the loners.”
Erwin swung around. His look softened when he saw it was the small waiter standing in front of him. He was still in his red uniform, but had a black leather jacket in one hand and a tote bag over the other shoulder.
“Levi.” Erwin said in surprise.
“Erwin.” He answered, making the tall one laugh.
“Well, Solitaire is the game for me then I assume.” Erwin lifted his phone and shook it.
“You always have so many people around you. You don’t seem like a loner.” Levi pushed the handle of his bag up his shoulder.
Erwin laughed awkwardly. “Well, being surrounded by people can still be lonely sometimes.”
Levi opened his mouth. But nothing came out at first.
Erwin quickly shook his head. “I’m saying nonsense. Don’t listen to me. You always catch me in weird moments.” He tried laughing.
“I’m sorry, if I overstepped anything.” Levi’s face filled with fear again.
Erwin smiled softly. “You remember my name.” He added as he finally realized the other was saying his name earlier. The young waiter opened his mouth but was again left unable to speak.
“Erwin.” Nile appeared behind Erwin, cutting their conversation short. He nodded his head in the direction of the exit. “Come on. We’re leaving.” He pushed the door open and held it open for the men that followed him.
Erwin stepped aside, so the men could leave, before he quickly turned to Levi again.
“Thank you for your work tonight. Get home safe.” He smiled. He genuinely cared if Levi got home safe. If only he could make Levi let him know. Should I ask for his number?
Levi returned the smile. “See you around then, Erwin.”
Erwin left out of the door. He took another look back to Levi before he got into his car. Levi’s eyes were still pinned on the tall blonde man.
What a kind human. I hope to be around him more. Erwin thought as he sat down. An innocent thought. Maybe.
-
It wasn’t until then Erwin noticed how often Levi was around in the restaurant. He was there when he visited again with customers two days later on a Tuesday. He was their waiter during that night. Erwin insisted that his father gave Levi a big tip.
“He’s doing an amazing job, father.” Is what Erwin told his father. So, his father gave out a large tip.
A week later, it was a Wednesday, Erwin came back to the restaurant with clients once again. Unfortunately, Levi wasn’t their waiter that evening. But Erwin made sure to visit him at the bar at least twice that evening. They chatted about this and that while Erwin watched Levi’s hands prepare the drinks for the clients. His hands are really pretty.
On Thursday, the next day, Erwin’s father once again announced that he was inviting clients to the restaurant.
“I’ll come with you.” Erwin suggested. He has so much fun going to the restaurant lately. Especially on evenings when he could talk to Levi.
“Are you finally taking your job seriously?” His father crossed his arms in front of him.
“If I have to take over the company some day, better learn as much from you as I can.” Erwin said. His father nodded proudly. That evening Erwin took out his best suit. A three-piece burgundy suit. He loved that one but didn’t get to wear it often, because it’s saved for special occasions.
Erwin wanted to look great that evening. He wasn’t sure what made him want to look great. He just knew he really wanted to look as amazing as he could. Maybe he just needed a little confidence boost.
I wonder if Levi will be our waiter tonight.
When they got to the restaurant, Erwin’s look went straight to the bar - as it always did the past times he went to the restaurant. Levi was polishing glasses. He bit his lower lip in concentration.
Erwin giggled slightly, not audible, only to himself. What a cute face he’s making.
“Good evening, gentlemen. This way please.” The hostess lifted an arm in order to lead the way to their reserved table.
Levi’s face snapped up as Erwin was walking by. They greeted each other with a smile. Erwin had already turned his face, but in the corner of his eyes he saw how Levi looked him up and down. Erwin smirked.
The evening stayed boring. As Erwin had already expected. Meetings with customers were always boring as hell. A lot of talking about old stories he already heard at least 20 times. Only 5% of the evening was spent talking about business. He was just so bored. Erwin kept glancing over to Levi. If only he could spend the evening talking to him. Erwin would love that, spending an evening with Levi. Or maybe multiple evenings? He shook his head and quickly emptied his glass.
“Some more wine, gentlemen?” Levi suddenly stood at the end of the table in his hand a bottle of white wine, as always one hand tucked neatly behind his back.
“Fill up the glasses.” Erwin’s father demanded. He pointed around on the table.
“With pleasure.” Levi responded in his forced smile. Erwin smirked. By now he knew the difference between Levi’s genuine smile and his customer smile. It always made him cackle slightly when he saw the young waiter force himself to smile. With Erwin it was different. The smile. With him he always used his genuine smile. I hope he feels comfortable around me.
“Some wine?” Levi said as silent as possible. Erwin was so lost in thought he didn’t notice Levi already arrived at his spot. Erwin always sat at the very edge of the table. He preferred to observe rather than be involved in the conversations.
Erwin nodded. “Yes, please. Thank you.” He lifted his glass towards Levi to make the pouring easier for him.
“Of course.” Levi whispered. He stroked his hand down Erwin’s shoulder. Erwin nearly spilled his wine when he felt the other’s touch. Shivers went down his spine. His breathing stopped. It took him a few seconds of adjusting before he could move again. His head snapped up, but he could only spot the back of Levi’s head as he saw the waiter disappear behind the bar.
“Are you good?” Nile asked.
Erwin’s face turned towards the other. He blinked a few times. “What? Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”
He gulped down the entire glass of wine. Weird.
A few days later, Marie suggested a date night. It was Saturday evening. Erwin agreed and suggested the restaurant once again. He really enjoyed eating there lately.
“You’ve been there a lot lately.” Marie said.
“Yeah, with clients you know.” Erwin responded as he got dressed.
“Don’t you want to eat somewhere else then?” Marie asked.
Erwin shook his head. He threw his jacket over his shoulders. “I love the food there.”
Marie shrugged her shoulders. “Whatever you prefer.” She said nonchalantly.
When they arrived at the restaurant Erwin stepped in first. His eyes immediately looked over to the bar. A smile appeared on his face when he spotted Levi. And Levi smiled back.
“The weather is horrible.” Marie said as she stepped in. She closed her umbrella and put it into the bin for umbrellas.
Levi’s eyes wandered to Marie. Suddenly his genuine smile turned back into his forced one. “Good evening.” He said before turning around.
Levi was their waiter for the night. The first time he came to their table he introduced himself and brought them water. He poured the water in before he took out his little tablet to take their drink orders.
“Anything to eat for you as well?” He asked and tucked his hand behind his back.
“Yes, but we haven’t decided yet, we need another few minutes.” Marie smiled nicely.
Levi nodded and returned the smile. “Of course, I’ll be getting your drinks already and will come back in a couple of minutes.”
“Thank you.” Erwin said as he looked after the black haired waiter. Erwin was always so impressed by Levi's posture. Not just the hand behind his back. But his entire posture, his walk, his movements. He was such an elegant being. His presence was very ingratiating.
Erwin's look went back to Marie. She had her eyes squinted pinned on him.
“What?” Erwin asked.
Marie shook her head. “Nothing.” She responded. She lowered her look back into the menu. They didn’t say a word, until Levi came back with their drinks.
“A prosecco for the beautiful lady, and a white wine for the gentleman.” He placed down the drinks and reached for his tablet.
“Have you decided on your food already?” He smiled.
“Could I have the Linguine alle vongole, please?” Marie said.
“And for me the Fennel and Citrus Salad with Mint and some Bruschetta as a starter please.” Erwin smiled.
“With pleasure.” Levi noted everything down. “I’ll put the order in and get back to you soon. Please let me know if you need anything.” Levi quickly rushed back behind the bar.
Erwin looked after him. Levi lifted his head and smiled at Erwin.
“You know him?” Marie asked.
“Hm?” Erwin swung his head around. “Y-yeah. Met him during our engagement. And he’s-” Erwin looked over to Levi. “I’ve seen him a lot because I come here a lot, you know.”
Marie nodded. “He seems nice.”
“He is.” Erwin smiled. “He really is.”
“You look nice tonight by the way.” Marie said. She reached up and pushed a strand of hair out of Erwin’s face. She stroked his face a few times.
“Thanks. So do you.” Erwin responded. For a tiny split of a second this felt nice. There was a spark of hope. Maybe this might work at some point.
“Sorry to interrupt. I have your Bruschetta.” Levi suddenly stood next to them.
Erwin rushed around. He immediately turned red. “A-ah, yes. Thank you. Just put it here.” Hurriedly he pushed away his napkin and cutlery.
“There you go. Enjoy.” Levi grinned. His forced smile.
“Thank you so much.” Erwin said, irritated by Levi's smile. He looked after the dark haired man who quickly disappeared into the kitchen.
Erwin started feeling bad. He was left confused. Why did he feel so weird? He felt like Levi caught them. He didn’t want Levi to catch them being lovey dovey. He probably felt very uncomfortable because of that night. Levi probably suspected Erwin had his doubts. Erwin didn’t want Levi to think bad of him. He didn’t want the waiter to think he was leading Marie on.
Erwin looked down on his Bruschetta. He grabbed one of them and started nibbling on them.
The rest of the evening went pretty calm. They stayed another one and a half hours. Erwin and Levi got to say their usual smiley ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you next time’s. After all Levi seemed to not hate Erwin for his behavior, even though he did seem colder than usual. Erwin still wanted to talk to Levi soon. To explain the situation. Levi deserved an explanation. I think. Did Erwin owe him an explanation?
After all, he helped him that evening. He had been nothing but nice to him ever since they started seeing each other more in the restaurant. Levi was always so smiley and nice with him. And Erwin really didn't want their new found friendship to be at risk. More like pre-friendship. But Erwin was sure he could become friends with the other. He really wanted to become friends with him.
Marie and Erwin went back home when they paid their bill. Like after a lot of their date nights they tried to have sex. But Erwin once again seemed to be the problem. His mind was full of the situation in the restaurant with Marie and Levi. He couldn’t help but think about how Levi probably thought bad about him.
His mind went a thousand miles per hour and he couldn’t get his dick hard.
“Marie, I’m sorry.”
“Erwin, don’t worry about it.” She leaned in for a kiss. “I’m tired anyways. Thanks for the lovely evening.”
“I’ll go take a shower.” Erwin said. “I’ll come back to bed soon.” He added as he was standing up and walked to his bathroom.
“Good night.” Marie smiled at Erwin. He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“Good night.” He said as he left the room.
Arriving in the bathroom Erwin quickly turned on the shower. He stripped out of his clothes and walked under the running water. He loved the feeling of the water streaming down his body. Hugging every part of it.
He looked down on his dick. “You cause me stress.” He said to it. He reached down and started pumping it. He just had to check if there was something wrong with him. Erwin placed his other hand against the wall of his shower.
Shivers spread through his body. He let out little whimpers as he started getting hard. So, I am not the problem. Erwin thought. He was still able to get hard. Oh, and he needed this. He needed this badly. He threw his head back as he continued pumping. His mind wandered back to the situation in the restaurant again. For a second Erwin was afraid, the thoughts might cut this short once again. But no. In fact his thoughts got caught on the black haired waiter. Images of his smile filled Erwin’s head. Images of his beautiful posture, the hand behind his back. Erwin thought about his scent. Flowers. The hand on his shoulder. How his hair flew around when he hadn’t used any gel. He wondered what his hair felt like. Stroking through it undone, with his own hands. Levi’s hair looked soft. Erwin felt an urge to grab it-
What was he thinking? Erwin’s eyes sprung open, panting as he looked down on himself. His dick was leaking white liquid.
“I came.” Erwin whispered to himself. He pulled his hand back. Feelings of horror started spreading in his body. He looked around panicking, making sure Marie didn’t sneak in witnessing the scene. Erwin hid his face in his hands. He rubbed his face, spreading water around on it, washing it clean. He quickly reached for his different shampoos and finished his shower.
Once he was done cleaning the shower, he stepped out of it and reached for his towel and a fresh pair of boxers. He dried himself down and stepped into his new underwear. While brushing his teeth Erwin threw the towel into the bin for dirty laundry.
Erwin spit out the toothpaste and cleaned his toothbrush. He turned off the lights in the bathroom, leaving him in darkness before he opened the door. He sneaked over to his bedroom. The door creaked slightly as he poked his head through it. Thank god, she’s sleeping. He thought when he saw his fiancée sleep peacefully.
Without making a sound, he moved to his side of the bed and rushed beneath the sheets.
But he couldn't sleep. He couldn’t even close his eyes. He was in total fear he’d see those pictures again - and started having those feelings again.
What the fuck was that?