Chapter Text
He’d done it again.
The three patrol cars parked at the curb wailed, deafening sirens piercing both the air and his eardrums as they reverberated off the wall behind him, the brick rough and scratching at his skin even through the material of his uniform.
The flashing lights bathed the entire street in red and blue light, what had once been a quiet Parisian night now a bustling crime scene.
And where was he? Where was Officer Agreste?
Helping victims? Catching his coworkers up on the altercation? Restraining the man who’d assaulted his wife?
No. He was having a panic attack.
Because when he’d confronted the man and the wife had fled to safety, the man had turned on him, aimed a punch and then-
Like magic-
Like a god damn fucking nightmare-
It had been his father standing there ready to beat him.
“Hey, man. You alright?”
He looked up, met his best friend’s questioning gaze and then ducked his head back into his arms, shielding himself from as much of the scene as he could.
“Please tell me she’s alright.”
“She’s fine, dude. You got her out. Her sister is on the way to pick her up.”
“And him?”
“In custody. Where you left him. You remember cuffing him and handing him over?”
He shook his head.
“I hurt him?”
“Of course not.” Nino scoffed, shaking his head. “You got your pills?”
“In the glove box.”
“I’ll go grab ‘em for ya.”
Nino was only gone for a few minutes, he was sure, but it felt like hours later when he finally returned, dropping the bottle into his hand.
“I’m screwed.” He spoke, taking the pills dry before screwing the lid back on to the childproof bottle. “Chief’s going to have my ass mounted to the wall.”
“Adrien, man. It wasn’t that bad.”
“I panicked. I- I thought he was my dad.”
Nino winced, dropping a hand to Adrien’s shoulder in sympathy.
“You got the victim out, you restrained the dude and you kept it together until you handed him over. That’s all you can do.”
All he could do. He was always doing his best. Doing all he could possibly do to be good at his job.
And it was a shit show.
This made the third time in a month that he’d broken down the second he’d handed off his work to another, ending up with his knees to his chest as he rocked himself back and forth and swallowed down anxiety meds in the first secluded spot he could find.
Hell- He was pretty sure the wife had even stopped to comfort him before she’d been called away by another officer and she was the one who’d been beaten. She was a victim. He was- he wasn’t. Not anymore.
He was a survivor.
Why did surviving have to feel so much like dying?
“Need me to drive you?” Nino questioned gently. “Take care of your car?”
Nino already knew the answer. No driving was allowed while under the influence of his meds, even if he didn’t tend to have any adverse reactions or impaired judgment. He might get away with driving a personal car, so long as he wasn’t caught. But his cruiser?
He didn’t want to think about how badly that’d end up for him. Not after this.
“Yeah.” He breathed, pushing himself off the wall and up onto his feet. “Thanks, man.”
The drive back to the station was quiet, not even the radio or a rowdy criminal in the backseat to keep Adrien’s mind off of what he was walking into.
“Chief.” Adrien greeted solemnly as he stepped into the man’s office, plopping down into one of the chairs in front of his desk with a heavy sigh.
“Agreste.” Chief Raincomprix nodded, a sad, sort of commiserating smile on his face. “Anything you want to say about tonight?”
Would it help him if he did?
“I’m requesting some time off. I need to- to deal with my…problem before I’m back out on the field.”
“I agree.” Chief answered, though his expression didn’t change. “I’m afraid I can’t hold your job for you while you’re gone.”
“But-“
“I have to terminate your employment, Adrien. I’m sorry. But you’re a liability. If things change for you, six months to a year down the road, you know we’ll be happy to have you back, but for now…I can’t let you stay, even if you are on vacation. This isn’t something you’re going to fix in a couple weeks of leave, son.”
Adrien stood there, not sure what to say, not sure what he could say, not sure of anything, until Chief cleared his throat and continued.
“You know, I think this is actually coming at a good time for you. You just got your degree a couple months ago, right? The school year is about to start in a few weeks. It’s the perfect time to get out there and change some things, make sure this is what you really want to do.”
It was. He had to. Nothing mattered more than being on the force, proving himself, helping people, being worthy-
“I-“
“Adrien. Go home. Think about it. Make some calls, put in some applications, get some help. I care about you, son. We all do. But I don’t think this is the career for you.”
It was. It always had been.
He just had to prove it.
••••••
The last box.
Adrien watched as Nino carried it into the living room, dropping it off next to the others with a satisfied grin.
“You’re officially moved in, dude. How’s it feel?”
“Yeah, Sunshine. Ready to throw the house warming party of the century?”
Adrien laughed, Nino’s wife, Alya, sending him a playful glare that was meant to appear serious but betray her joking intention at the same time.
“Kidding, I know you’re not the party type. But game night is still on, yeah?”
Adrien grinned and nodded.
“Of course. Wouldn’t miss a chance to kick your asses.”
Alya rolled her eyes when Nino gasped in outrage.
“Come on, babe.” She pat his shoulder. “Happens every week, you should be used to it by now.” Turning back to Adrien, she stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. “Take care of yourself, Sunshine. Call us if you need anything.”
Adrien nodded and Alya stepped out the front door, Nino watching after her for a moment while he let out a lovesick sigh.
“Still so crazy she’s my wife.”
Adrien agreed.
They’d gotten married last Spring. It’d been a small, intimate ceremony at an old church on the edge of town. He’d been the best man.
He’d always assumed his wedding day would be large, grandiose, ‘fitting of the Agreste name’, as his father liked to say.
But after witnessing Nino and Alya exchanging vows in the way they had, he’d changed his mind.
Small, romantic and intimate sounded like heaven after the hell he’d been through. Sharing that with someone, someone he loved and could trust…He would want his wedding day to reflect that.
Not that he was falling in love any time soon. He still hadn’t fully adjusted to his best friend being married, he wasn’t at all ready to take that leap himself.
Couldn’t drag a woman into all of…this, either.
He had a lot to fix before he’d be capable of dating, worthy of being someone’s husband too.
It’d be awhile.
“You sure you wanna do this?” Nino asked, eyes roaming around Adrien’s new home with barely concealed worry. “The teens can be…” Nino blew out a huff of air rather than finishing his sentence, no doubt thinking of Alya’s little sisters.
Etta and Ella had just turned fourteen and though Adrien didn’t see them often, avoided them really, he knew from their few short interactions that the twins could be…a lot.
He wasn’t sure. He’d waited years for this; modeling part time at his father’s company, in school full time for his degree, working part time at the station-
It’d been exhausting. But still…the thought of all those kids looking at him, judging him, needing him-
At least teens were less of a challenge than smaller children or- god forbid -babies. He couldn’t handle the younger years, couldn’t stand it if he fucked up, if he hurt them or-
“You need a pill?” Nino questioned, pulling Adrien out of his thoughts as he anxiously twisted the ring on his finger.
It’d been a gift from his mother. One of the last things she’d given him before she’d disappeared. The poor thing had bore the brunt of his anxiety for the last eight years.
“No. I’m fine. Just thinking.” Adrien quickly replied. “I’ll be fine. It’s just a lot of change all at once.”
“You studied years for this, man. You’re gonna do great.”
He had. He’d studied his ass off. He’d even spent a year in a classroom.
But that had been observation, helping the teacher out when he needed it. He hadn’t really been responsible for the children or teaching, hadn’t had to interact with them much more than a greeting or a goodbye or a simple question about their assignments.
He wanted to teach, it was his dream. But having his own class…
He wasn’t ready.
He’d always assumed he’d spend more time as an officer, that he’d wait to teach until he felt like he’d earned it, deserved it, until he was sure he could handle it. He’d barely made his four year commitment, barely avoided the fine for bailing out early. His mother had wanted him to help people, to do something worthwhile and now he was just- just throwing it all away over his episodes?
Not forever, he reminded himself. He’d teach for a year. One year.
And then he’d be ready to go back. He’d call Chief, get back in his uniform and he’d handle it.
He could handle it.
And then, years down the road, when he’d helped people, really made a difference and healed himself, then he’d retire to teach.
He’d be ready then.
“Yeah.” He spoke, nodding as he tried to convince himself it was true. “It’ll be fine. I’ll see you guys Friday?”
“Of course.” Nino grinned, already moving towards the door. “Can’t miss an opportunity to beat your ass!”
Adrien laughed.
He’d remained undefeated at their weekly video game tournaments for years. Four of them to be exact.
Nino didn’t stand a chance, never would.
At least that would never change.
He could take comfort in that.
“See ya, man!” Nino called, pulling the door shut behind him.
With a heaving sigh, Adrien let it all sink in.
A new place to live. A new neighborhood. New neighbors. A new job. A new commute. New schedule. New-
“Meow!”
Adrien looked down at the grey ball of fluff wrapping itself around his leg and smiled.
“I guess dinner is still at the same time, huh? You hungry?”
Edgar Allen Paw stared up at him, blinked, then meowed again, significantly louder than the first time.
“Yeah, definitely hungry. Come on.”
In the kitchen, Adrien paused.
Cat food…cat bowls…where?
Scanning the moving boxes piled around the room, Adrien’s eyes locked onto the box with drawn on cat ears and whiskers, grinning in victory.
“See? Nino thought the sharpie was silly, but look how organized I am.”
Opening the box and pulling out what he needed, Adrien quickly fed his cat before deciding he probably needed to feed himself too. But that would be a problem, because he hadn’t been to the store and every single shelf in his kitchen remained as bare as it’d been when he’d toured the place a couple weeks before.
As if on cue his stomach rumbled and Adrien decided he’d just have to go out. Grocery shopping on an empty stomach couldn’t be a good idea.
Pulling on his jacket and making sure his wallet and phone were in his pocket, Adrien stepped out onto the street and turned back to lock his door, the sound of the neighborhood bustling around him new but not immediately threatening.
He’d get used to it.
“Hello there.” A man called from across the street, raising a hand in greeting as Adrien turned to face him.
“Uh, hi.” Adrien smiled in reply, taking in the man’s greying hair and the cane he leaned on as he started to cross the street, the building behind him- a massage parlor? -a mix of decaying brick, overgrown foliage and a soft warm light that was shining out from inside.
“You must be the new neighbor.” The man surmised. “I own the shop across the street.”
“Nice to meet you.” Adrien held out his hand and the older man shook it firmly. “I’m Adrien.”
“Likewise, Adrien. My name is Wang Fu, but you may call me Fu. What brings you to the neighborhood?”
“Ah, I’m uh-“ Hurrying to think of an explanation then realizing simpler was better, Adrien twisted the ring on his finger as he spoke. “I’m a teacher. First year. I wanted to be closer to the school, better commute, you know?”
He’d also been living in his mother’s family cottage prior to losing his job and could no longer stand to be surrounded by memories of her knowing he’d failed to do the one thing she’d asked of him.
But, despite his isolated childhood, Adrien had enough experience to know that wasn’t something to share with a complete stranger.
“Teaching. Takes a saint, I’ve heard them say.”
Adrien had been named after one, but he was far from one himself.
“That’s what I’ve heard.”
His heartbeat jumped a bit. Was he going to panic already? The school year hadn’t even started yet!
“I’m sure you’re busy.” Fu excused himself. “I just like to acquaint myself with all the neighbors. You feel free to let me know if you need anything. I’ve lived here so long I know the neighborhood better than I do the back of my hand.”
Adrien chuckled and thanked him.
“I have a good feeling about you, Adrien.” The man confessed as he walked away. “I think you’re going to be just what those children need.”
God, he hoped so.