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Dating apps are Adam’s go-to cure for boredom.
Frequenting sites whose user base largely consists of sex pests and unfaithful husbands would be a cause of shame for many. Adam, on the other hand, isn’t part of the “many.” He lost the ability to feel shame a long time ago.
A ping on Adam’s phone tells him that he’s managed to catch the interest of yet another lonely soul. Who will it be this time? Hopefully someone a little less dull than the divorcee he met last week, though it doesn’t really matter. Adam is confident in his ability to make sure every time is a good time.
Lazily, Adam flings his arm over the sofa he’s draped himself across in search of his phone. He fumbles around on it until he’s successfully opened dating app number five.
He’s been sent a message by an account he hasn’t liked. That usually isn’t a good sign. With being devastatingly gorgeous comes the attention of men who think their mediocre dick game could win the heart of Adam Towers.
The message is short and yet somehow manages to contain a multitude of typos. iN NEEED OF A HELPIGN HAND, it reads, bold capitals practically screaming in Adam’s face.
Adam’s first instinct is to delete the message. Though his requirements for hookup partners are pretty low, he’s still an intelligent man who’s used to being in the company of intelligent people. His finger hovers above the delete button. Just as he’s about to press it, another message comes through.
dEALING WITB A VERY BIG PROBLEM! It reads, and then to stress the point, vERY VERY BIG!!!!
As if Adam hasn’t heard that one before. Nothing radiates small dick energy more than claiming it’s big.
Even though Adam is now sure this conversation isn’t going to get him what he’s after, he figures he can at the very least get some fun out of it. Show me, he types.
The conversation comes to a halt as the man positions himself for his photo. In the meantime, Adam takes a look through the sender’s profile.
Elias Thanatos, two decades Adam’s senior, lives only a few miles away from his rented apartment in Denmark. There aren’t any photos of him up on his profile. It looks like it must’ve been made a day ago at the most. An account created out of desperation then.
Adam isn’t desperate, he never has or will be, but he is eager to familiarize himself with the people of Denmark. He flew in from London a week ago for the purpose of research. Now that he’s done a good chunk of work he thinks he deserves some fun..
There’s another ding on Adam’s phone. What he sees next has his brows shooting up into his hairline.
Elias is unlike anyone Adam has ever seen. His most noticeable feature is his mustache. It’s scruffy and outdated, but somehow he makes it work. Held close to his chest is a hideous bird who is undoubtedly the cause of the giant stain on his tennis polo. If you follow the stain downwards, past the waistband of Elias’s atrocious tan shorts, you will find something worthy of Adam’s attention.
To put it plainly, Elias Thanatos has the biggest cock Adam has laid eye upon. His shorts are loose and yet Adam can still see the very prominent outline of his obscenely girthy length. Photoshop is out of the question, considering that he doesn’t even know how to use caps lock. Elias Thanatos is a blessed man.
Adam swallows once and ignores the twitch of his own cock. Looks good, he types after a little while.
yES i KNOW I AM VERY PROUD OF HIM,Elias responds. Adam can’t even be annoyed by his arrogance, not when it’s actually deserved.
A little modesty might do you well, he writes teasingly.
I AM ONLY TELLING YOU THE TRUTH. aLSO I AM NOT TH EONE POSTING PICTURES OF MYSELF WITH MY BOTTOM OUT!! Elias stops, as if caught in a very perplexing thought, then adds, dON’T WORRY IT’S A GOOD BOTTOM.
Adam snorts loud enough to fill every corner of the empty apartment. He’s well aware of his backside’s appeal, but hearing it be praised in such an unsexy way is, oddly enough, making him more interested in this man.
Thank you, Elias. Before we speak about that, how about we get to know each other a little? What kind of things do you enjoy? I could bring some supplies with me, he writes.
wE CAN TALK IN PERSON. yOU ARE VERY SLOW AT TYPIGN SO THAT MAKES MORE SENSE.
Adam hesitates for a moment. Nowadays he doesn’t tend to jump into bed with strangers as quickly as this. Doing so hasn’t gotten him great results in the past. One time he nearly ended up a murder victim, another, he narrowly escaped becoming a trophy husband, a fate almost as terrifying as the former.
Adam glances back at Elias’s poorly taken selfie. There is nothing remotely sinister about him, and if there was, Adam is sure he could outsmart him. More importantly, if he is able to get what Elias is offering then the risk would be well worth it.
Adam’s fingers return to the keypad.
Send me your location. I’ll come to you as soon as I can.
***
Getting to the Thanatos family home turns out to be much more arduous than Adam was prepared for. He ends up having to abandon his car on the side of the road in order to take a ferry that looks like it’s on the brink of falling apart. He's then dumped at the bottom of a dirt path a couple of miles away from the location Elias sent him.
This is when Adam starts to doubt his decisions. He’s came in preparation for a hot date, not a hike in the middle of nowhere. He genuinely doesn't think he’ll be able to make it to Elias without twisting his ankle thanks to the four inch heels he’s wearing.
More bothersome than the heels is the giant silver plug nestled between Adam’s cheeks. Though Elias hadn’t suggested he bring anything, Adam, being the experienced size queen he is, figured he would benefit from some at home preparation.
Now he wishes he hadn’t bothered with it, since he can’t even sit down to catch a breather without splitting his hole open. The best he can do is lean up against a tree while he messages Elias.
Why didn’t you tell me how hard it is to reach you? he writes. If I’d known I had to take the ferry I would’ve arranged to have my car brought on it.
Thankfully, Elias’s reply comes quickly. tHAT IS JUST HWO IT WORKS HERE. YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE! dONT WORRY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND ME MY HOUSE UNLESS YOU ARE STUPID. i AM WAITING FOR YOU…
Adam inhales deeply then scrolls back up to the photo Elias sent. Does he really need dicking down that much?
The answer is yes. He made it this far so he’s sure as hell going to get what he came for, and so, he continues on his humble quest.
Ten minutes later and his ankle is already asking to be put out of its misery. His scarf is also turning damp with sweat despite the relative coolness on the island compared to his apartment.
Adam walks for around a mile without coming in contact with any living creature other than a few small birds and insects, hence, he nearly has a heart attack at the sound of a car pulling up beside him. It comes to a gradual halt in order to allow its driver to step out of it.
The owner of the car is a sour faced man with a mustache only slightly less offensive than Elias’s. The polo and shorts he’s wearing look to be the exact same as Adam’s date’s.
Adam smiles and the man smiles back, his disfigured lip curling upwards on one side cheerfully.
“Welcome to the Island of Ork. I hope you are having a good time here,” the man says. “I’m Franz. Can I help you?”
Adam gives an internal sight of relief. Though he still doesn’t think Elias has it in him to do anything sinister, he was beginning to think that his directions may have sent him to a place that doesn’t exist.
“Yes, I was wondering if you could help me find this location,” he says, turning the phone screen around for Franz to read.
Franz’s expression abruptly turns from open to furious. He takes one big step right into Adam’s personal space.
“You’re one of those reporters, aren’t you? Looking to snoop around in our home,” he says. Adam cringes a little when a glob of spit flies from his mouth onto his chin.
Being a journalist has earned Adam his fair share of hostile encounters. He knows how to charm his way out of trouble, or at least de-escalate the situation enough to allow him to make a run for it. Fighting has never been his strong suit.
“I’m a journalist from London,” Adam explains in his most calming voice. “I came to Denmark to do some research.”
Adam’s composure does not pay off, rather, it only seems to invigorate Franz. His face turns an alarming shade of red.
“Oh I know what you’re talking about. We don’t want you researchers disrupting our family. We’re very happy here and we don’t want your lot disturbing the peace. Last time we let one of you into our house he took the dog plate!” he yells.
Adam takes a couple of steps back, a few more, and then shouts in alarm. The man has reached into the passenger seat of his car for something that looks like a stuffed animal. It takes Adam a while to realize that it isn’t some hyper realistic replica of one, but an actual stuffed fox that is now hurtling towards his face at breakneck speed.
The head of the fox slams right into Adam’s head. He loses his balance, reeling backwards until there is nowhere else for him to go. The back of his head collides with the very solid trunk of a tree.
Buzzing fills Adam’s head, followed by a painful ringing. The world starts spinning faster than the speed of light, and then it’s gone, replaced by endless black.
***
Adam couldn’t have been out for long, as once he does manage to peel his eyes open, he finds the sky is still bright. It must be the afternoon. That gives him enough time to make the long journey back to his apartment while it’s still light out.
“Fuck me,” Adam grumbles as he rolls around on what is quite possibly the stiffest mattress he’s ever lied on.
It takes a while for his vision to come into complete focus, and longer for his brain to be able to attempt figuring out where he might be.
He’s in an extremely small room with crumbling plaster walls and rotting wood furniture. That furniture holds an assortment of random items, half of which he can’t even name. Cooking pots, utensils, books, more dead animals. It must be a junk room of sorts. That would explain why the mattress he’s on looks like it’s been pulled out of a dumpster.
Adam turns towards one of the many dusty mirrors in the room. Most of his preparations have gone to waste. He once perfectly styled curls now hang over his eyes sadly. His sleek black clothes are rumpled and covered in a thick layer of dust.
Adam leans towards the mirror in order to inspect his head for any fox induced bruises. What finds instead is a figure standing in the corner of the room. That figure belongs to the very man Adam just walked through hell for.
Elias looks exactly like he had in his photo. By exactly, Adam very literally means exactly.
The same shit stained tennis shirt covers Elias’s broad chest. Neither his mustache nor the gray bird’s nest of hair on top of his head has not been tamed at all. It should infuriate Adam, but the relief he feels at the sight of a familiar face is enough to overcome it.
“Elias! I was beginning to think I would never find you,” Adam says. “I had the most ridiculous journey here. You won’t believe it, I got hit in the head with a taxidermied fox all because I’m a journalist!”
When Elias speaks, Adam is taken aback by how much lower it is than he’d been expecting. It’s husky and unexpectedly attractive, a voice made for the bedroom.
“Franz is my brother, he was being very reasonable, actually. We usually hate reporters. You should have told him you were here to help me, then I would not have had to save you from him,” he says scoldingly.
Adam blinks in disbelief. How was he supposed to know this man was related to Elias? Even more of a mystery is how he should’ve gone about telling the brother of a potential partner that he'd come to his home to get his ass pounded.
Just as Adam is about to express his frustrations, he suddenly becomes aware of the fact that Elias is now within touching distance. Right there, at Adam’s eye level, is the million dollar prize he’s been chasing.
Elias’s cock is bigger in person than in the photo if that’s even possible. It hangs down one leg of his shorts, dangling proud and heavy. Adam’s hole gives a twitch at the thought of it inside him. Suddenly, getting hit in the head with a dead fox doesn’t seem like such a bad price to pay.
“Help you, yes, that’s what I came here to do,” Adam says in a smoother, much less frantic voice.
“That is why I messaged you,” Elias responds.
Adam tilts his head in a way that makes his neck look particularly inviting. Looking a little disheveled has never stopped him from getting what he wants. The dirt on his clothes doesn’t make his figure any less elegant, nor does the mattress indent on his cheek detract from the youthfulness of his features.
Elias’s breath catches in his throat. Adam doesn’t miss the way he begins to shuffle in his spot. He also doesn’t miss the way the bulge in his trousers visibly grows. The tent it forms becomes so big Adam half expects the length to tear through the fabric.
Adam brings one hand to Elias’s thick calf. He runs his fingers up and down it gently, purring a little when Elias begins to squirm,
“What are you doing?” Elias asks in a slightly panicked voice.
Adam smiles his most charming smile. “Initiating physical contact. You seem so very tightly wound. Don’t worry, I can help you with that. I know many ways to get rid of bothersome nerves.”
The brash and overconfident Elias Adam met on the dating app is nowhere in sight. This Elias is one blundering blushing mess that Adam can’t help but find adorable. A bull, that’s what Elias reminds him of, big and strong but so endearingly clumsy. Adam wonders if he’ll fall apart when he’s inside him or if his more animalistic instincts will take over.
“Come here, big boy,” Adam commands. Elias is like a sailor to a siren. He steps forwards until his feet are touching the edge of the mattress. He stays perfectly still while Adam’s knuckles drift to the inside of his thigh. They climb higher and high until they just brush the rounded tip of his cock.
“Oh my,” Elias says. The red of his cheeks has spread to the rest of his face. Adam wonders if his dick will be the same ruddy color.
“Oh my indeed. What are you going to do now?” Adam murmurs. “Don’t make me call all of the shots.”
Adam can practically hear Elias’s brain short circuiting. For a while his lips move without making any noise.
“Uh, I think I should show you the cock,” he says eventually. Adam lets out a quiet moan as he lies himself flat on the mattress again. He lets his eyes flutter shut while he waits for Elias to remove his shorts.
A few seconds go past with no rustling of fabric to be heard. Adam peaks one eye open to find that Elias has moved away from the mattress. He’s now standing by the door leading out of the storeroom, eyes fixed behind him expectantly.
“Where are you going?” Adam asks, internally cursing at how needy the question makes him sound.
“You can’t help me in the junk room. That would be very ridiculous,” Elias responds.
Of course, what was Adam thinking? There’s no way he was really prepared to fuck inside a musty storeroom. It’s good to see that Elias knows he deserves better than that. The house is big, it’s bound to have some nicer rooms.
Adam smiles triumphantly. It looks like he’ll be getting what he came for after all.
***
A chicken coup.
Elias brings Adam Towers, the sweetheart of London, known for the lavish lifestyle and charming company, to a chicken coup. It’s not even one of those fancy ones men with too much money use to show off their prized hens. It’s just a DIY wood structure stuck in the middle of the lawn.
“How about we save the chores for later. Let’s have our fun while we are all alight with energy,” Adam suggests as he narrowly avoids stepping in a pile of droppings.
Elias’s brows knit together in annoyance.
“I don’t know what you mean by all that. You journalists, you’re always putting together the most random words to try and sound clever. It doesn’t not work on me,” he scoffs. He beckons Adam closer than points a few feet in front of him.
“This cockerel is called Cheese. Cheese has been acting very weirdly. All day he has refused to eat,” Elias explains.
Adam quickly recognizes Cheese as the bird Elias had been holding in his photo. It really is the ugliest creature Adam has ever laid eyes on, which is saying a lot considering how many questionable specimens have tried approaching him.
It doesn’t take a vet to see that Cheese is no ordinary bird. Firstly, he is double the size of any cockerel Adam has ever seen. His garish purple feathers stick out in every direction and his feet - Adam’s mouth drops open - his feet look exactly like those of a human child.
“I was wondering if you could give him an inspection and then recommend to me what I should do,” Elias casually continues as if he hasn’t just shown Adam the scientific breakthrough of the century. “The touching is very good but I think we should take care of Cheese first. He is the reason I messaged you in the first place.”
Elias’s words leave Adam blanching in horror. No, he can’t have messed up this badly. Elias was very clearly propositioning him. Who in their right mind would go looking for farm assistance on a dating app?
Adam’s lips form one severe line. There is no way he endured that journey and getting knocked out just so he could look at a mutated chicken.
“Elias,” he says as calmly as possible. “Please don’t be mad at me when I tell you I don’t know a single thing about chickens.”
Elias appears to go through an entire catalogue of emotions in the span of sections. Righteous indignation is the one he settles on.
“Then why did you reply to my message? I said I had a problem and you said you were going to help me!” he says.
This is when Adam snaps.
“I thought your problem was your dick!” he exclaims. “You messaged me on a dating app, not Craigsfarm or whatever the hell chicken people use! Might I remind you that you not only sent me a rather suggestive photo, but also commented on my ass!”
Elias tries to back away from Adam only for him to grab him by the front of his polo shirt. Manhandling him into his desired position is comically easy. He might as well be one big stuffed doll, pliant and so ready to bend to Adam’s whims whether he’s aware of it or not.
“I am not leaving until I am satisfied,” Adam says with a level of determination usually reserved for solving cases. “Don’t even pretend you aren’t attracted to me. I saw the way your boner grew when I posed for you.”
Elias looks like he’s ready to cry. His bottom lips are wobbling precariously and his eyes have grown absurdly big.
“I don’t need to use dating sites to have sex. Plenty of women want me, in fact, they are tripping over their feet to get in my bed,” he blubbers. “You should see the way that lady from the retirement home looked at me when-”
Adam considers cliches an enemy of the journalist, but this time, one seems quite necessary in order to put an end to the ridiculous exchange. He spins around so quickly he looks like nothing more than a whir of motion then smashes his lips against Elias’s.
Elias Thanatos might be a big man, but the squeaking noise sounds like something that would come from a mouse. He evidently has no clue what to do with his mouth, hands, or any part of his body for that matter. In the end Adam has to guide his wide palms to his hips.
“That’s it, good boy,” Adam says when Elias finally begins to kiss back. The slide of lips over lips is much messier than everything Adam has experienced before. It’s uncoordinated and the accidental nips from Elias’s sharp canines sting, and yet Adam wants more.
Adam lets himself be pushed backwards until his back is up against one of the coop’s mesh walls. With the new position comes the weight of Elias’s body against his. Elias’s erection ends up pressed against Adam’s abdomen, hot, throbbing, and harder than any diamonds he’s been gifted.
“I have changed my mind. I think you will be quite good,” Elias declares in a strangled voice.
Quite good? Adam Towers is the best lay in all of London. He can’t even imagine what ladies Elias must’ve been seeing to be given such low praise.
“That’s great to hear,” Adam says sarcastically. He can sense that Elias is about to run his mouth again, so he brings his knee to the man’s groin and rubs.
Elias lets out a noise that sounds just as pained as it is pleasured. The noise becomes ten times louder when Adam catches the skin of his neck between his teeth. Elias has absolutely no qualms about coming across as too eager. He digs his fingers into Adam’s hip bones, hard and bruising, so he can begin rutting into his knee.
Elias’s length has begun leaking an astonishing amount of pre-come. Enough of the sticky substance forms for it to soak a big patch of Adam’s trousers.
“When I saw your cock I knew I had to have it,” Adam moans. “I’m not going to leave until I’ve had it in me.”
Replying is a struggle for Elias, who has begun making a series of low grunting noises. He has to take one deep breath before speaking.
“When I saw your bottom I thought that you should not be posting it on the internet. It is very nice and only worthy men should be able to see it,” he says.
Adam barely manages to stop himself from laughing at the sheer brazenness of the statement.
“Oh yeah? Who’s to say you’re worthy? I need proof before I can verify that,” he says. “Come on, show me what you’ve got.”
Unceremoniously, Adam yanks down Elias’s shorts. The thick waistband catches on his cock, causing it to bounce a little before it drops down under its own weight.
Elias’s cock is better than Adam could have dreamed of. He is not exaggerating when he says it truly could pass for a bull’s. The base is surrounded by masses of wiry hair darker than the locks on his head. Viens as thick as his pinky branch out across the angry red length.
It’s not just Elias’s cock that’s big, it’s also his balls. They look so heavy Adam wonders how he can go for even a few hours without emptying them. Adam can tell that two hands cupped together wouldn’t be big enough to contain them.
Elias looks like isn’t quite sure what to do with Adam’s admiration. He shuffles from one foot to another, cock swinging from the movement.
“You should take your pants off too so we’re equal,” Elias says with a bashfulness that makes Adam want to tease him to the end of the earth.
Adam is merciful in that he doesn’t leave Elias to figure out the complexities of his designer belt. He undoes the clasp with skilled hands, leaving Elias with the much simpler job of pulling his pants down past his knees. Adam turns around to present himself to Elias.
Perhaps Elias isn’t used to this kind of sex, as it takes him a very long time to do more than just stare. And while Adam loves being admired, he loves taking pleasure even more.
“How is your bottom glittering?” Elias asks after an increasingly awkward stretch of silence.
Adam doesn’t have the patience to explain his meticulous process of preparation. Instead, he grabs the end of the plug with two fingers and pulls until it slides out of his hole and falls to the ground.
Even after a long session of extensive fingering and dildo fucking, removing the plug stings. The one he’d chosen was the biggest in his extremely extensive collection. He matched it to the color of his scarf, not that he thinks Elias would notice.
With the removal of the plug comes a warm stream of lube Adam had filled himself with. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Elias watching it trickle down his ass the same way a scientist might observe a rare cosmological phenomena.
“I prepared myself so you can fuck me now,” Adam says. “Figured a man like you wouldn’t be very good at waiting.”
“Nonsense, I am very good at waiting. I could stand here forever if I wanted to,” Elias insists.
Adam rolls his eyes at Elias’s ability to choose the worst times for childish banter. What makes it even worse is that he can see Elias is stroking his cock from behind him.
“If you do that then I’m going home,” Adam says.
The empty threat does the job. Elias grabs the back of his shirt clumsily and uses it to press Adam’s body against the coop. The action causes the cold metal to become flush with Adam’s cock. He gasps out in a mixture of discomfort and pleasure, squirming more than he had the very first time he’d sunk a finger into himself.
The feeling of hot flesh coming in contact with one of his asscheeks makes him cry out wantonly. He moves his ass in a way that encourages Elias’s cockhead to smear pre-come all over his skin. He continues the action until strong hands spread open his hole enough to sting.
“Do you actually think it’s going to fit? You are very small. If my penis gets stuck in you I will not be happy,” Elias says.
Adam has lost the ability to supply any form of verbal response to such infernal questions. His answer comes in the form of reaching behind him to grab Elias’s cock. Crudely, he lines up the tip with his rim and begins to push his hips backwards.
The resulting stretch can only be described as exquisite. Adam feels as if every nerve in his body is being pulled to its limit. Fire of the most delicious kind licks at his skin then sinks into his bones.
Adam brings a hand to his stomach, and, after running his hands along the taunt flesh, wonders if Elias really has managed to rearrange his guts. The giant bulge in his belly is such an erotic image Adam starts to see stars.
If he’s wrecked, then Elias is in pieces. Craning his neck backwards allows Adam to see the way his features are screwed up in concentration. He looks like he’s close already. The possibility of Elias lasting for such a short time shouldn’t be nearly as hot as it is.
Slowly, so slowly that it’s almost agonizing, Elias slides nearly the entirety of his length out of Adam. Sinking back in is a gradual process until it isn’t. All of a sudden, Elias jerks forward so hard Adam can hear his heavy balls smacking against his ass. Pain like showers of fireworks bursts in Adam’s stomach ecstatically.
“Sorry, I tripped on Cheese,” Elias apologizes through pants. “He is quite a voyeuristic chicken. I masturbated this morning while I looked at your profile and I think he was watching me.”
“Oh, fuck,” Adam cries. “Don’t talk about that bird when you have your dick in me. Ah!”
Adam lets out a loud yelping noise as Elias’s cock hits his sweet spot. The sound spurs him into motion, flicking some kind of switch in him.
He can sense it now, the shift in Elias’s mood. The man pulls back just until just the tip is inside Adam then sinks back in hard enough to make the screws holding the coop together rattle wildly.
Fucking like animals is the best way to describe what they do. Elias pistons his hips in a way that’s neither restrained nor rhythmical. Adam takes it all despite knowing that his body will be magnificently sore in the next hour.
Harder, faster, Elias and Adam both tumble over the edge of control. Their bodies turn into one blur of filth and sweat. The increased frequency of Elias’s staccato grunts is what tells Adam he’s approaching his climax.
“Good boy, good boy!” Adam cries, sounding half delirious with want.
Adam is starting to feel dizzy, like he’s been launched out of the atmosphere into another planet's orbit, spinning faster than his body can handle. Once he begins feeling Elias’s seed fill his hole, he knows he’s lost it.
Ropes upon ropes of cum are dumped into Adam’s ass as if he really were an animal existing only to be bred. Elias’s seed is so hot and thick, there’s so much of it that what can’t fit inside Adam ends up coating his cheeks and the inside of his thighs.
Picturing Elias’s balls emptying right into Adam has his own cock twitching violently. It takes one tug of his hand for it to be shooting white through the chain links of the wall.
Adam collapses into one boneless heap against the coop. Elias, who has forgotten how much bigger he is, falls on top of him. The two lie together in one useless tangle of limbs.
“Oh God, that was incredible,” Adam says. He slips off of Elias’s cock and lets it hang between his cheeks, wet, spent, and drenched in their fluids.
“It was very incredible” Elias echoes. He pants hard, and then, with renewed energy, shakes Adam’s shoulder.
“Look, Cheese is eating again!” he says. “We saved him with sex!”
At last, Adam loses the will to keep his head up. He lets it fall to the ground, right into a clump of chicken shit.
***
Adam spends the rest of the day lounging on crusty furniture, getting fucked in the most unlikely places, and being introduced to Elias’s collection of genetically modified animals. He finds himself enjoying the sex and the non-sex an equal amount, which comes as a surprise considering Elias’s exceptional physical qualities.
Adam leaves the house smiling like an idiot despite being covered in straw, hay, dirt, and an assortment of substances he’d rather not think about. Elias insisted on walking him down to the dock, refusing to let go of his hand up until the exact point of his departure.
“You must promise to come back,” he says for the tenth time in a span of minutes. “You’re now Cheese’s legal guardian. It would be very selfish of you to leave me to raise him by myself.”
Adam gives Elias an exaggerated eye roll. Not even a magical dick sent down from God himself could convince him to take responsibility over that multicolored abomination.
“The last reason I’d come back to you is Cheese,” Adam says. “I’m going to come back because I like you, Elias.”
“Are you sure you don’t just like my penis?”
The question is asked so genuinely Adam can’t bring himself to feel any real irritation. His smile grows wider as he speaks. “Elais Thanatos, if you suggest anything else so stupid I will leave Denmark for good. I would not listen to your speech on the history of the chicken plate just for your penis.”
Elias makes a show of pretending to seal his lips closed, an action that earns him a light kiss on the cheek. Adam then has to force himself to ignore the very obvious glints of moisture pooling in the man’s eyes as he steps off of the dock and onto the ferry.
Departing is weirdly emotional, considering that a) the two haven’t spent more than a day together, and b) there is nothing preventing Elias or Adam from seeing each other tomorrow and the many days after.
Bleary-eyes and snivelly, Elias lifts both of his hands high above his head to wave Adam farewell. He continues waving until he is nothing but a tiny blob standing at the edge of the island. It’s only then that Adam leaves the edge of the boat in favor of collapsing onto one of its benches.
Adam is so exhausted he barely hears the ding of a notification coming from his phone several minutes into the trip. The sound doesn’t bring him the same thrill it would’ve only a few hours ago. He opens it with sluggish fingers then lets out a bark of laughter.
Elias has sent him a selfie taken at a very unfortunate angle. It’s accompanied by a short message typed in his usual capitals.
iT WAS LOVELY MEETING YOU ADAM. yOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND GOOD AT SEX. i WILL SEE YOU AGAIN OR ELSE…
- fROM ELIAS AND YOUR SON CHEESE
***