Archive of Our Own ^beta

Something’s not right. This is what Colin keeps telling himself as he wakes up in his own room in their old house. He doesn’t remember visiting this house in the past few weeks. He’s either been at their home in Bloomsbury or at the Featherington’s home, as his son is the new Lord Featherington. Shrugging off the uneasy feeling, he tries to recall if he might have had a drinking night with his brother and ended up here. Restless, he gets up and heads straight for the dining room. Nearing the location, he notices a lot of voices. Maybe the family decided to have a dinner get-together.

Upon arriving, his eyes automatically scan for his wife, who is sitting at the far end of the table wearing yellow. That’s odd; he hasn’t seen her wear yellow since the season they got married three years ago. The table is so busy that his presence goes unnoticed. Once he reaches his wife, he crouches down and kisses her. Smiling, he says, “Hi, Wife. I missed you,” with a smirk. That’s when he hears the loud gasps from everyone.

“COLIN BRIDGERTON!” his mother and Anthony shout in unison.

“COLIN, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? I DID NOT RAISE YOU LIKE THIS!” his mama shouts angrily.

Now he is confused. When he looks at his wife, his pen, his life, she looks flustered and shy.

“What do you mean? Why are you all angry? I’m kissing my wife. What’s wrong with that?” he asks, annoyed with the commotion.

This time it is Anthony who glares at him. “Wife? We’re here to have your engagement dinner with Ms. Thompson.”

He gasps, taking in the surroundings. His eyes widen when he sees Marina and Lord Archibald at the table. Oh no, this can't be happening. His mind feels like it's swirling. Then he hears the voice and sees the face. He feels all the blood drain from his body.

“What’s happening here?” He is now face to face with himself—a younger version of himself.

“Who are you, and why do you look like me? Mama, do I have a twin you’ve hidden from the family?” his younger self asks.

“I’m you, but older. I don’t know how this happened, but maybe I time-traveled. I don’t know how,” he explains.

“So if you time-traveled, how old are you right now?” Anthony asks.

“I’m 27 and happily married. Oh, I have a son, and our second child is coming,” he beams while telling this.

“Oh, so we did marry Ms. Thompson?” his younger self asks.

He forgot that this is the evening of his engagement to Miss Thompson. This is the effect his wife’s presence has on him; he's always resolved to just admire and love her.

“No, no. Miss Thompson here is, she’s... I don’t know how to say this as it may sound improper, but she’s with child,” he looks at his feet, readying himself for the reactions.

“YOU COMPROMISED HER, COLIN BRIDGERTON!” Anthony shouts so loudly that Colin feels his ears will bleed.

“I did not! I’m a gentleman!” he and his younger self shout back in unison.

“Enough of this. Marina, tell them the truth. I told you he’d know sooner or later,” all attention shifts to his wife—or not his wife, as this is still the first season she’s out but future wife.

“You’re a selfish, jealous bitch, Penelope! Mr. Bridgerton, this is not true. My cousin here is so wrapped up in her unrequited fantasy that she will tarnish my name like this,” Marina says, looking angrily at Penelope.

With her words, Colin feels anger inside. No one dares to talk to his wife like that. “Be careful with how you speak to my wife, Miss Thompson. I’m not liking your tone and your choice of words, besmirching her name like this.” His glare is so sharp and cold that the whole table falls into a quiet hush. Even his mother is shocked by this display of attitude; they have never seen him so protective.

“Your wife? What do you mean? And is it true, Ms. Thompson, that you are with child? Is that why you want to have a rushed wedding? That we elope?” his younger self asks, and you can see how hurt he is by this knowledge.

“Miss Thompson, please just tell him the truth. Yes, Colin, Penelope is my wife. In my time, we’ve been married for almost three years. We have a son, and my wife is pregnant with our second.” He’s really proud saying that Penelope is his wife; you can tell by how he describes his life.

All attention shifts to Marina, waiting for her answer.

She looks at everyone at the table. She feels that it’s now or never. “Yes, Colin, I am with child, but the father doesn’t want to be with me, so I planned to entrap you. I apologize. I don’t have a choice; women in this society don’t have many choices,” she looks down at her feet, not knowing what will happen now.

The eyes of everyone shift between Miss Thompson and the younger Colin, feeling the tension in the air.

“I understand, Miss Thompson. I just wish you had told me sooner so I wouldn’t feel tricked. In these circumstances, I am an honorable man. We will continue the marriage.”

Older Colin’s eyes widen at this. This can’t be happening. He should not alter the events in this time. If the marriage continues, he won’t be with his Pen. No, he can’t allow this to happen. Desperately, he kneels in front of his younger self.

“You can’t do this, Colin. Please, listen to me. Miss Thompson will be in a good situation even if you don’t marry her. The brother of her lover will care for the child. I’m begging you, please don’t do this. If you do, it means that the timeline will be altered, and I won’t be able to be with Pen in the future. Please don’t take my wife away from me,” he sobs, which shocks everyone. This Colin is begging. Penelope can’t seem to wrap her head around this; this Colin is begging to be with her.

Still on his knees and crying, older Colin looks at younger Colin in the eyes and continues to beg, “You see, Pen and our children are my life. They’re my purpose. Without them, I don’t want to exist. Losing them means losing myself, and I have to live this life without light. Don’t do this to me. I can’t imagine a future without them. If you do this, you might as well kill me now. I’d rather die than live without them.”

“Son, please, that’s enough. Get on your feet,” his mother tells him.

He shifts his gaze to his mother. “No, Mama, you don’t understand. I traveled a lot and looked for my purpose everywhere. I followed what society expected of me, pretending and wearing a mask, but only my Pen made me realize my purpose. She kept me grounded; she gave me a home. So no, I will continue to beg until you understand that him marrying Ms. Thompson will break my heart. So please, I’m begging you, don’t let this happen.”

“You really love Pen for you to beg like this, huh?” his younger self says, looking at him.

“I do. No, scratch that—we do. You just don’t realize it yet, but our love is not a thunderbolt, sudden and fierce. It’s slow, like tending a garden every day until it eventually blooms. But it’s always there, hidden, waiting for the right moment to reveal itself.”

“So what now? What will happen to Miss Thompson?” his younger self asked.

“We can write to her brother, Mr. Philip Crane. We can use Daphne and Simon's connections to locate him. He’s a good man and will care for the child as his own. They’ll be titled and provided for. Everything will turn out well,” he said, placing a reassuring hand on his younger self's shoulder.

After the commotion, everyone started bombarding him with questions. He decided to withhold certain details, especially Anthony's love story, only mentioning that Anthony would eventually find his true love. As the Featheringtons prepared to leave, he asked if his wife could stay for a while so they could finally talk.

In the drawing room, his mother and younger self acted as chaperones. They sat on the settee, maintaining a proper distance, though he longed to pull her onto his lap. He reminded himself that this Penelope was not yet his wife.

Seeing Penelope's curiosity, he encouraged her to ask questions.

“Will I really be married to you? I was resolved to be a spinster. I never imagined being married. Did I somehow entrap you? Did we get caught in a compromising position?” Her words broke his heart. Did she really see herself as undeserving of love when they were younger? He vowed to shower her with more love and affection when he returned to his timeline.

“No, you did not entrap me. I proposed to you out of love. I proposed because I love you. I may have been slow on the uptake, but I love you. I almost lost you to another suitor, but that's all I'll say for now,” he said, still remembering the carriage ride as if it were yesterday.

Their conversation was filled with laughter and affectionate barbs, and he realized how much he enjoyed these moments with her. They were deep in conversation when a cough interrupted them. It was his younger self, glaring at him with unmistakable jealousy.

“I don’t think it’s proper for you to monopolize Pen all the time, and it's already late. May I remind you that the Pen here is not your wife?” His younger self's jealousy was evident, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Apologies for that. In that case, Penelope, may I walk you home? I can’t allow you to walk alone at this hour,” he offered.

When Penelope nodded in agreement, he extended his arm to escort her out, but his younger self protested, unable to hide his jealousy.

“You can’t walk her home. That’s improper. I’ll chaperone you two,” his younger self insisted.

Their mother intervened, “You know what, I’ll walk Penelope home so both of you stay here.”

As Penelope and his mother left, his younger self continued to glare before abruptly leaving the drawing room. Sighing, he felt a tug—perhaps a sign that it was time to return to his timeline. He headed back to his room, suspecting the portal might be there.

Upon entering, he found his younger self sitting on the bed. He joined him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I know things are confusing right now, but don’t be sad. Things will get better in the end, you’ll see. I feel the tug, so I’ll be back in my timeline soon. But I want to leave you with some advice. Pursue your travels and appreciate the world; you'll learn a lot. And don’t worry about Pen. She’ll always wait for us, but write her letters—she’ll appreciate that.”

“I still can’t believe our wife has been in front of us all along,” his younger self said, looking at him.

“That’s the beauty of love; it makes us feel deeply. Our marriage with Pen won’t start easy; there will be challenges, but we’ll make it through. One last piece of advice: when things get hard, when you don’t understand the situation, please listen to her. Understand that she always has good intentions. Some may be misguided, but she acts to protect us.”

They spent the night talking about his life, travels, and wife until they fell asleep in his old room.

When he woke up, he was back in his room in Bloomsbury. Unsure if the time travel was real or just a dream, he was pulled from his thoughts by the creak of the door. His beautiful wife, heavily pregnant with their second child, entered. He smiled, realizing he was truly back. Extra clingy, sweet, and doting throughout the day, Penelope never questioned it.