Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“What about when you and him fought? When I was writing the book he told me to take the perspective you gave during the trial, that that one was more accurate then the one he had given in an earlier session,” Daniel states looking across the dressing room he’s seated in, over to the other side where Lestat is putting on purple glittery eye shadow in front of a mirror.

Lestat gives a hum of acknowledgment as he finishes the eye before shifting his gaze to Daniel. “What about it? When you told me you wanted to interview me as well, I thought you wanted my story. Not to retell an event both Louis and myself already gave our perspectives of.”

“Well yes, I truly do want to know your story, but I’d also like a better look upon your perspective of somethings that Louis told me. Including a more in depth version of the altercation between Louis and yourself,” Daniel says leaning forward, “I want to write a book about you as well. I want your story more than anything else. You interest me very much Mr Lioncourt.”

“Lestat will be fine. And don’t call it an altercation… that would assume it was mutual. It wasn’t an altercation, I… I don’t know what to call it,” Lestat diverts his attention away from Daniel out of shame and onto a stick of eyeliner. He sighs deeply before glancing back at Daniel and lightly smiling, “I’m not a journalist Mr Molloy, but I’ve always assumed it customary, when getting a story from someone, to start at the beginning.”

“There’s no need for the formality, you can call me Daniel. After all you’re letting me call you by first name. But yes you are correct. Typically, I would start by asking for the story from the beginning, but I would like to start by filling in some loose ends I’ve already gathered from Armand’s and Louis’ testaments. If you don’t mind of course,” Daniel says, watching as Lestat begins applying thick black eyeliner.

“I guess… that is fine,” Lestat grumbles tensely before sighing.

“I’m sorry. I’m being quite rude right now. I am extraordinarily ashamed of what I did to Louis and Claudia. Even if Louis has forgiven me many times over. But please, ask whatever questions you have,” Lestat sets the eye liner back down onto the vanity before turning to face Daniel and give him his full attention.

“When I was interviewing Louis, he told me that Claudia had just come back after being gone for years. I want to know what emotions you felt in that situation.”

“I felt… scared. And when I get scared I get angry,” Lestat pauses and sighs reflectively, biting his lip. He leans back in his chair and he stares at the wall as if the true object of his gaze was behind the wall in a way which was only visible to himself.

“She told me she had come back for Louis, to take Louis with her to Europe, to take Louis and abandon me. And I got scared and angry and I-“ he pauses as shame bubbles up inside him.

“I put my hands on my own fucking daughter and I choked her. Like a damn monster, I attacked my little girl,” Lestat looks at the floor shamefully before looking up at Daniel’s glare of judgement with red glazed eyes.

“But Claudia wasn’t a little girl anymore was she. She was thirty something by that time,” Daniel’s newly vampiric eyes stare analytically into Lestat’s.

“You say that as if you were trying to defend my actions.”

“No I say it as if you were bullshitting your way through the question with cheap self pity. Which you are,” Daniel says tersely. “Your little girl? You say that about the child you yourself never wanted. The child that you cursed into darkness. The child that wasn’t even a child.” Daniel lets out a small chuckle of disbelief.

“I say it out of shame. But… I’m sure there was a certain amount of self pity in what I said as well,” Lestat swallows thickly before continuing, “I choked her because I was angry and I was scared and I wanted to hurt her.”

Daniel nods before asking, “And then Louis tore you off of her?”

“Oui. He did. Then he threw me and I threw him until we ended up in our coffin room. He tossed me and hit me and flung me around our room,” Lestat turns back around towards the vanity, deflecting from the discussion, and begins to once more apply his eye liner in preparation for the concert he would be playing later that evening.

“Do you blame Louis at all?”
Daniel questions with his piercing eyes, watching as a trembling Lestat coats his right under eye with the dark liner.

“Blame Louis?” He pauses looking down before letting out a shaky breath and continuing. “Non, never. Louis beat me and threw me and bled me out. Was it unpleasant, what he was doing? Of course, but they were wounds that could easily heal within the hour. The only thing he truly had hurt was my feelings,” Lestat quickly brushes away the blood tears that had began accumulating along his lower lash line. “He was defending our daughter. And I- I responded by nearly killing him. Non. None of it was Louis’ fault.”

“Sure, but if Louis had not thrown the first punch at you, he never would have been dropped,” Daniel says with a shrug. Lestat looks back over his shoulder at him.

“You confuse me. You bring up points you do not agree with, points that lean in my favor, that make me sound as if I were not in the wrong. Why? You know neither of us believe Louis was to blame at all,” Lestat questions in a teary confused voice.

“Playing devils advocate can help deliver answers with more depth. It makes you think more and consider more sides,” Daniel responds leaning back in his seat and watching Lestat analytically.

“Okay… If Louis had not hurt me I would not have hurt him. The only reason I wanted to hurt him was because he broke my heart,” Lestat says holding back thick sobs. His eyes widen and his irises move about erratically as he thinks deeply.

“But- but if he hadn’t put his hands upon me, if he had not thrown the first punch….” He gives way to tears before croaking out, “What kind of parent would he have been? The kind of parent who sits by watching indifferently as their husband beats their children?” Lestat stares wide eyed at the eye liner in his hand as blood tears drip down onto the table.

Daniel leans forward, resting elbows on his knees and waiting politely but curiously for Lestat to continue.

“Non. Louis was right by having hit me,” Lestat thickly swallows before bringing the eye liner back up with a shaky hand.

“And if he hadn’t? If he would’ve just stood by?” Daniel asks, pushing forward and tearing deeper.

“Then Claudia would have forever questioned his love. Completely and utterly lived forever thinking the one she loved most of all had not loved her,” Lestat answers tensely, giving the majority of his attention to his eyeliner.

“And you think she didn’t question his love? Time and time again Lestat, he chose you! You think one simple act made that much of a fucking difference in the long run?” Daniel asks raising his voice and sitting up straight.

“Yes! I do! Because at least it would’ve shown she cared! It would’ve shown that she was willing to make an effort! If she would’ve just put down her damn book instead of watching indifferently and said something it would have made every fucking difference!” Lestat’s French accent thickens as he yells before letting way to deep guttural sobs. He throws down the eye liner before burying his face in his hands.

After a few seconds he manages to croak out, “It definitely made a difference to her…. I know it would have made a difference to me.”

Daniel looks at Lestat intrigued before rising from his seat and moving to a chair closer to the blonde.

“This isn’t about Claudia anymore is it. It’s about you,” Daniel says. His gaze is much less judgmental now, he is no longer trying to analyze Lestat. Rather, he is now listening with a gentle look upon his face.

Lestat turns away, his face burning with shame and embarrassment. “I- I’m sorry. I’m getting myself overly worked up right now. I haven’t answered your question properly,” Lestat’s voice cracks as he speaks. He bites his lip and his face bends grotesquely as he tries to suppress his weeps.

“No no it’s okay. Please, continue. I wanted to hear your story, after all. I’m just getting it in a different way than I originally planned,” Daniel says as he kindly takes Lestat’s hands into his own.

“I… I never wanted children. I always knew that I could never be a good father. And I mean… I was right, I treated Claudia terribly,” Lestat lets out a tearful sigh as his gaze finally meets Daniel’s. “And don’t get me wrong, I could never regret Claudia. Claudia was my dark child, my love, evil of my evil. Claudia broke my heart. I loved her so very much but-“ Lestat chokes out a heavy sob, “but I know for a fact she died never knowing that. I was a terrible father to her.”

Daniel nods gently as he politely listens to the blond weep. This man sounded nothing like the Lestat he had interviewed about. He found it hard to believe that the man weeping and stuttering before him was the boastful brash man of which Louis had told him of.

“Even when I was a child I knew I didn’t want to have children. I was always terrified I would turn out like him. That was, and still is my greatest nightmare. But I mean… hell I treated her no better than he had treated me,” Lestat says in a weak breathy voice.

“I’m assuming by ‘him’ you are referring to your own father?”

“Oui,” Lestat pauses looking reflectively at off to the side before beginning to speak again. “I was the seventh son of my father. I’m not sure if he never wanted me in the first place. Or if his hate for me started out after my birth…. I’ve always assumed the former,” Lestat lets out a tearful laugh before adding, “Hell, I mean… my whole name is just the first initials of my older brothers names put together.”

“Oh,” Daniel says respectfully, “I’m sorry… that sounds like it’d fuck you up.” Lestat waves a hand to brush off his comment.

“It was what it was. But back to what I was saying, my father fucking despised me for reasons unknown to me,” Lestat sighs and wipes his tears.

Daniel listens closely, watching every expression and movement Lestat makes intently. The other man did not seem sad in the way he spoke of his late father, rather he seemed accepting and honest.

After a few moments Lestat continues speaking, “When I was young he and my two surviving elder brothers used to beat me black and blue. They would beat me with these thick leather straps, kick and punch me until my bones cracked, take knives to me, lock me in an old cellar in the castle and starve me for days on end. When I was really little I would even get pulled around the castle and tossed like a rag doll when I had angered my father. And it was awful, but I learned very early on that I was intolerable in the eyes of my father and brothers and I accepted it. Why should I care if they hated me? I hated them more. But I didn’t hate Gabrielle…” Lestat trails off, staring at the ground as his eyes begin glazing over with red once more.

“Gabrielle. I’m assuming that must be your mother.”

“She is,” Lestat breathes out shakily. “The way my father and brothers treated me- it was awful but I was at peace with their hatred. I despised them with every ounce of my being. I prayed for their death and at times fantasized about causing it with my own hands. But Gabrielle… I could never hate her… I-I love my mama,” Lestat’s voice cracks and his face contorts with a thick sob.

Daniel nods before speaking softly, “I’m sure she loved you too.”

Lestat shakes his head vigorously and chokes out a weep. “She never did. She would watch indifferently as her husband beat me bloody and unconscious. Her and her fucking books, the books she never cared enough to teach me how to read, just staring coldly. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he treated her well, he was an awful husband to her. But she would just watch as he beat and starved me near to the point of death and she did nothing about it. I would watch her cold indifferent eyes look down upon my pain and suffering before
drifting back to her book as if nothing happened. She never intervened for me nor granted me any solace or comfort as she watched me be brutally abused,” he rants in an angry hurt voice.

Lestat stops speaking for a few moments, taking deep shaky breaths, in attempt to collect himself. He sighs deeply looking softly at Daniel, “Gabrielle has never loved me.”

“You speak of her in present tense. You didn’t do that when you spoke of your father,” the younger man states with confusion.

“My father is dead. Gabrielle is not,” Lestat sighs wiping the remainder of tears away.

“You turned your own mother?” Daniel asks shocked.

“Oui. It was a few months after I myself had been taken by Magnus and forced into the blood. I was still in Paris at the time and she had come from my father’s chateau in Auvergne. She was dying of consumption and hadn’t wanted to die in the place she suffered most in her life. I held her in my arms as she died…. I couldn’t just watch her die. I love her and I didn’t want her to be gone forever so I turned her,” Lestat confesses.

Daniel nods understandingly, “I see.”

“Though it didn’t really make a difference. I have not seen Gabrielle since the curtain fell on the 18th Century. She didn’t take any interest in me during my mortal life and nothing has changed about that during my immortal life,” Lestat scoffs with hurt.

“I’m sorry, that’s truly unfortunate,” Daniel says in a genuine manner.

“It’s fine. I’ve beyond gotten used to her coldness by now. But she’s not the point. The point is what I did to Louis and Claudia,” his eyes begin giving way to crimson tears once more.

“I was afraid I would become the monster my father was and I did. I treated her terrible in the same way he had treated me. But Louis… Louis was a far better parent than Gabrielle ever was to me. He didn’t stand by and allow the abuse I showed Claudia that night. I’m truly thankful for that fact. Louis was an amazing father and he loved Claudia very much,” he pauses for a moment. “Non. Not loved, he loves her very much. She still weighs heavy in both of our hearts and she always will.”

“But his love was not enough for her was it?”

“Non, I don’t think so, though I really do not know,” Lestat lets out a heavy sigh. “She loved him and he loved her back in an astronomical fashion. But she didn’t need a father’s love near the end. She was a woman by that point and needed the love of a companion, the love of an equal. Or at least that is what I believe.”

Daniel gives a soft contemplative sigh as he thinks over what Lestat said. They sit in reflective silence for a few moments before Lestat lets out a large sigh of regret.

“I should’ve never put my hands upon either one of them. That night is something I will regret for the rest of my immortal existence, it will be a stain on my soul forever,” Lestat lets out a shaky breath and wipes the remnants of his bloody tears away.

“But Louis forgave you,” Daniel states sitting back and crossing his leg.

“So he did. Even if I did not deserve it he did,” Lestat gives a small sniffly laugh and looks up at Daniel with a fragile smile. “You know, I have not believed in Christ in centuries- that is if I ever did truly believe. But anyways, everyday I thank Something, perhaps God or perhaps just the world, that Louis forgave me. I thank It for Louis’ existence and for the fact that after everything he still shows me unconditional love. I don’t know what I would do without him. I love him so very much, so much it truly pains me.”

Daniel nods before speaking, “I know you do,” he says looking reflectively at Lestat for a few moments. “Well anyways, thank you for telling me everything you did, even though it was hard.”

“Of course… I honestly do really want to give you my story. It means a lot to me that you want to hear it,” Lestat gives Daniel a genuine smile before looking at a clock on the wall and turning back to face the mirror. “I don’t have much more time to talk before the concert, but are there any other things you’d like my side on tonight?” He asks as he begins touching up the eye makeup he had wept off.

“Just one small thing Armand said.”

“Mon Dieu,” Lestat sighs. “Well you’ll have to tell me what the imp has said about me. In case it isn’t abundantly obvious, I have yet to read the book. Louis told me he would rather I not read it quite yet, so I’ve respected that,” he says while staring intently into the mirror as he carefully reapplies eye liner to his lower lash line.

“It’s just a question about when you and him used to fuck,” Daniel says with small smirk watching closely for Lestat’s reaction.

“Putain de merde!” Lestat exclaims as he pokes himself in the eye with the liner pencil out of surprise. He quickly turns his body to Daniel, looking at the younger vampire with wide disgusted eyes. “When we used to what?!”

Chapter Text

Lestat turns away from his vanity towards Daniel. He leans forward with his elbows pressed down upon his knees. He looks into Daniel’s eyes with a disturbed expression. After a moment he lets out an exasperated sigh and falls back against his chair, staring wide eyed at the wall behind Daniel as if he were contemplating major mental turmoil.

“So, what was it like being the first to fuck The Vampire Armand before both of your ex boyfriends rebounded by fucking each other?” Daniel asks with heavy snark. Lestat finally refocuses his attention onto Daniel, before letting out a wheezing laugh and leaning back forward.

“I cannot say that I know how that would feel, Daniel, nor do I ever want to be able to. You know, maybe I should be interviewing you upon my relationship with Armand instead. You certainly seem to know aspects of it that I was not formerly aware with,” Lestat says with a mirthless laugh.

“Ahh, that was just another thing Armand had lied about. You and him never fucked,” Daniel nods understandingly. He was not surprised one bit. He had always found the way Armand had spoken about Lestat a bit coy. He had spoken of Lestat with an obsessive manner, speaking of his and Louis’ relationship as if it was a pissing contest between Lestat and Louis’ relationship. Which honestly, it wasn’t too far off from.

“Non, we did not, it is beyond appalling to even think about having him inside me or being inside him. I rejected every attempt from Armand at having a relationship of that nature with me,” Lestat trails off, deep in thoughts of the past. Daniel makes a sound clearing his throat, immediately bringing Lestat’s mind back to the conversation. He leans back in his seat and crosses his leg before speaking in a sarcastic manner, “Please Daniel, inform me of the romantic tale between that demonic cherub and myself. I am quite curious.”

“He told me you were an actor at the time and had broken some of the great laws. He followed you when you were with Nicolas and tried to persuade you to come with him. You refused him, so he took Nicolas back to the catacombs he lived in with his little cult. He held Nicolas there until you finally came to him and ended his reign as satan’s fool. You turned Nicolas, Armand offered himself to you, you drank from him, and you started a vampiric theater troop together. You got bored and abandoned him and the theater and Nicolas. Nicolas kills himself sometime in the near future. That’s the very short version of what he told me, but I think I hit all of the major plot points,” Daniel explains while watching Lestat’s face contort with disgust and anger.

“Umm… Okay. I don’t even know where to start except with saying, that for the most part, is complete and utter bullshit,” Lestat lets out an exasperated sigh once again. He stares at the floor, collecting his thoughts. They sit in respectful silence for a few moments before Lestat finally looks back over to Daniel.

“I did continue being an actor for about two years after my turning. I did remain in a relationship with Nicki, but he never knew what I was,” Lestat pauses thoughtfully before continuing speaking, “One night, Armand called out to me with the mind gift during a performance. I had felt his presence before then, but this was the first time I actually saw or spoke to him. He tried to get me to join his coven, saying vampires belonged with their own kind, not with mortal company.”

“You would have been living with another vampire at the time, thought right? You said you turned Gabrielle a few months after you had been turned, but you didn’t meet Armand until about two years later,” Daniel interjects.

“Oui, that is true, but Gabrielle and I had parted ways by that point. She had grown tired of my connections to mortality and left me for the ravaging jungles of Africa,” Lestat elaborates. Daniel nods and makes a sound of agreement before motioning for Lestat to continue speaking. “I refused to be a slave to the imp’s ridiculous religious ideas, so he abducted Nicki in hopes of luring me into his catacombs.”

“And that worked.”

“Oui, indeed it did. When I had arrived I found Nicki chained up with bite marks covering his poor neck and arms. They had fed off him and tortured him as retribution for me refusing to join them. I broke down their centuries old religious superstitions with knowledge of the new times, before carrying Nicki back to the lair in which I had inherited from my own maker,” Lestat pauses and swallows deeply. “He asked me to turn him. And I… I was weak,” his voice cracks. He takes a deep breath before continuing in a shaky voice, “I could not deny him of anything, after all, it was my fault he had been tortured. I turned him because I could not bear watching him die, I could not bear being alone,” Lestat lets out a small sad laugh, “Though in the end, turning him did not prevent either of my fears, only delayed their coming,” Lestat spaces out, staring at the wall in deep thought, before snapping out of it and turning back to Daniel.

“I’m getting off topic aren’t I? This isn’t about my loss of Nicki, it’s about my ravaging first marriage to the most satanic cherub God ever conceived, non?” Lestat asks sarcastically. Daniel lets out a sneer before speaking with seriousness and intrigue.

“So, you had dismantled his coven and turned Nicki, that sounds like a great way to begin a marriage. What was Armand doing while you were, trying to help your mortal boyfriend recover from the trauma, inflicted by your soon to be lover?”

“Armand came to Magnuns’ tower. He begged me to become his companion and offered to me, himself to drink from.”

“But you said no, didn’t you,” Daniel says with a nod.

“Oui, I did,” Lestat pauses to formulate his next response, “I despised Armand for what he had done to Nicki. I wanted nothing to do with him, but of course, Armand did not take lightly to my rejection,” he sighs deeply before speaking again, “You’ve only been in the blood a few months haven’t you Daniel?”

“Only since around July.”

“As vampires, we can have sex, of course. In fact, we do it very often, but the pleasure of sex, amounts nowhere close to the rapture of drinking from another. Besides during your making, have you ever drank from or been drunk from, by another vampire?” Lestat questions.

“San Francisco, 1973- Your husband drank from me while I was loaded beyond articulation. Then Armand did too, in attempts to drain me to death, but Louis stepped in and stoped him. Other than that though, except from during my turning, I have not,” Daniel recounts.

“Ahh, so you do understand the intimacy of it. Feeding upon each other is the ultimate form of love making for our kind,” Lestat trails off looking at the wall.

“So you’ve told me, but why are you getting hung up on feeding? Armand offered himself, but you didn’t feed on him, right?” Daniel questions with intrigue and a slight impatience.

“I myself did not feed on him, but he fed on me,” Lestat sighs before continuing, “He forced himself upon me and began draining me. Now, I had only two years in the blood, while he had roughly three centuries. I was weak in comparison to him, but I had been fed from and violated once before in my life, and I refused to stand by and allow it to happen again,” Lestat’s face contorts with rage as he explains.

“Magnus,” Daniel says in a moment of epiphany.

“Oui, Magnus had made me his victim, his bitch, and I refuse to let anyone else violate me in such ways ever again,” Lestat takes a deep shaky breath to calm himself before continuing, “I attacked the imp. I pushed him off of me, got on top of him, and began slamming my fists into his face. I don’t know how this was able to happen, he was so much stronger than I was. Did he allow it? Did I catch him by surprise? Did my rage fuel my strength? Who knows, but I beat him to a bloody pulp, then told him I could never love a creature as damned as himself.”

Lestat sighs deeply, letting go of rage and despair he held for the past. Daniel sits in respectful silence, patiently waiting for Lestat to continue.

“After that I avoided him. I did not want to see him after what he had attempted to do to me. But, he was burning the remanding members of his cult, so I went to him in the catacombs. I wanted to convince him, as well as the other members, to live. I told them that they could live among mortals as I did. By this point I had long sent away the theater troop I used to work with to a theater in England were they could further prosper, I did not want any of them to be caught up in the cross fire the same way Nicki had,” Lestat explains.

“I understand. So you offered them the theater to use as a way to blend in.”

“Oui, I did. By this point, Nicki had began sinking into a manic depression. I thought performing again and playing music as he loved could help him,” Lestat pauses and lets out a melancholy sigh, “It didn’t. We fought and parted ways. I…. I couldn’t stand staying in the city we had escaped to together, if he did not love me in it. So I left Paris. I left the theater, as well as, the tower and riches Magnus had bequeathed me with, to Armand.”

“So it was all a lie. You were drove out of Paris and surrendered the theater to Armand,” Daniel says with a sigh. He leans back in his seat, looking up to the ceiling. His maker had pushed so much bullshit his way during the interview. It made him wonder how many other aspects of the story had been tainted with. Daniel was not a fool, he was an award wining journalist after all, but he found himself disappointed that he had not called bullshit to more of the statements he found seedy, while in Dubai. He lets out a soft laugh of disbelief.

“Oui. The gremlin has a truly awful habit of lying and manipulating, doesn’t he?” Lestat says, returning Daniel’s laugh with a soft chuckle of his own.

“Yeah, I mean fuck- he told me you fucked him in a theater booth while Nicolas watched from the orchestra pit and I actually believed him! How damn gullible could I have been?” Daniel confesses with a laugh. He watches as the smile melts from Lestat’s face and is replaced by a fragile frown.

“He said I did what to Nicki…?” Lestat’s voice cracks as he quietly questions.

Daniel is interrupted as opens his mouth to respond. A young female, probably mid twenties, with shoulder length midnight purple hair and glittery makeup that matched Lestat’s, burst into the room.

“Lestat- dude! Are you not even paying attention to the fucking time? The opening band finishes in like 15 minutes! You can finish whatever this is later- Larry and Alex are getting super pissed!” The girl brashly explains. She was wearing a tight leather top and skirt, which showed off all of her curves.

“Oh shit- I’m sorry Tough! I lost track of time,” Lestat explains, “Tell them I’ll be out in a minute.”

“You’d better- or else!” She shoots back with a joking smile, before slamming the door shut and prancing off.

“I’m sorry Daniel, it seems we have run out of tim for now. Louis and I are staying in a suite at The Plaza, while we are playing in New York. Louis can give you the room number with the mind gift, please join us, I would love to continue our discussion,” Lestat pauses for a moment before hit face bends back into a melancholic expression. “I… I would have never done that to Nicki,” he says looking to Daniel with genuineness.

“Of course, I will listen to as much of your story as you are willing to tell,” as Daniel says this, Lestat rises from his seat and gives him a thankful smile. He looks over himself in the mirror for a moment, brushing his golden curls into a position he better prefers.

The rockstar prances away from the dressing room at a preternatural speed, leaving the former journalist alone. For a few moments, Daniel sits in silence, thoughtfully meditating on all he had learned. He sighs, wondering why he once more has chosen to involve himself in the homoerotic tensions of immortal relationships.

‘Louis,’ he calls out telepathically, “I’ve decided to interview your other husband as well.”

Chapter Text

Louis had not been overly pleased when Daniel called out to him. He hadn’t even known that Lestat wanted to tell his story. For all of his past withholding, it sure seemed out of character. Though he could not be too upset with Lestat for also wanting to share his life story, he could not help but feel a little betrayed.

He had asked to the point of practically begging, for any small scrap of Lestat’s life in the past, only to be met with anger or withholding. But he was willing to tell Daniel all of it? The fledgling vampire made by their shared ex?

Louis felt annoyed, slightly bitter, but not angry. Since their reunion, him and Lestat had been working on trying to understand each other better. He understood that some wounds do not heal with time, they fester and grow deeper, and he would not blame his husband for not wanting to relive past traumas. At least, he would not blame him anymore.

Louis sighs softly as he looks down at his phone for the time. Eleven pm, that meant Lestat should be almost back from performing. He looks back up at Daniel, who seems to be shaking, purely from his journalistic fervor and yearning to hear more of Lestat’s tale.

The two continue talking and catching up for a few more minutes, before Lestat comes through the door, damp with blood sweat and looking absolutely exhausted. Louis rises up to go wrap Lestat in his arms and kiss him in greeting. The rockstar embraces his husband, before greeting Daniel and excusing himself to clean up before they continued with the interview.

Louis sits back down next to Daniel on the sofa in the suite’s parlor.

“So Louis, what is the arrangement between the two of you now? Are you dating, friends with benefits, what?” Daniel asks with an undertone of snark.

“We are married Daniel. You know this. I have literally told you all about our wedding before,” Louis says like it’s the most obvious this in the world. He looks to Daniel with a face of confusion and slight annoyance, his mouth pursed and his eye brows knitted.

“Well I knew that you used to be, but what about the nearly eight decade relationship with my maker? Did that not change anything?” The past journalist questions.

“Catholics do not divorce, Daniel. Lestat and I are not living in sin,” Louis retorts sassily. Daniel gives a small nod, not wanting to argue Louis about all the flaws in his statement.

A few minutes later, Lestat walks out of the bathroom, clad in a robe and wet blond curls. He takes a seat in one of the chairs across from the couch.

“So where were we Daniel? What am I to tell you next?” Lestat asks with his usually charming smile.

“We were discussing Nick- we were discussing Nicolas,” Daniel says catching himself.

“It’s okay, you can call him Nicki,” Lestat pauses, all of his previous charm seeping out of him, and being replaced by a growing sorrow. “Where were we with him?”

“Him watching as you fucked Armand’s brains out in a theater box,” Daniel replies brashly. Louis snaps his head over to look at Daniel and begins listening more intently, curious to learn more about his two exes’ relationship. Lestat gives a small nod at Daniel’s statement.

“And how that never happened,” Lestat trails off, “I would never have done that to Nicki. I-I loved Nicki… so very much,” he looks at the ground and swallows thickly before turning to look at Louis, whose face is grotesquely contorted, upon discovering that he had been lied too about Armand and Lestat. “I’m sorry cherie… Is it inconsiderate to talk about him around you? I would not want to make you uncomfortable.”

Louis’ face shifts from disgust and confusion to a soft understanding look. “It’s perfectly fine Les. Though if you’d feel more comfortable with just Daniel, I can leave the room,” Louis offers sympathetically.

“Non, it is fine Saint Louis,” Lestat says giving Louis a soft, half hearted smile.

“Anyways, so Lestat,” Daniel shrugs, “Lets start with, how did you meet Nicki?”

Lestat stares reflectively at the wall before sighing. “We were young. If I remember correctly, maybe four? Anyways, our village’s priest took the children on an outing, to where they used to burn ‘witches’ a mere century before,” Lestat pauses before giving a small, breathy laugh. “It terrified me- the thought of killing innocents was horrific to me. The thought of burning alive…” Lestat trails off, his face shifting to look a bit queasy. He takes a deep breath before speaking again. “I broke down into hysterics and my mother had to come retrieve me. While Nicki and I did not formally meet that day, he knew of my existence after it.”

Louis leans in a bit, listening to Lestat’s every word with intrigue. Imagining Lestat- the predatorial killer- crying over the deaths of people he did not even know, was nearly comical to Louis. He watches devoutly as he learns of the sides of his husband, he priorly did not know to exist. He wants nothing more than to peal Lestat open, like taking petals from a flower, and discover even minute nuance of his being. The thought made him want to go over, undress Lestat, and kiss every inch of his body. Louis smiles to himself softly, he was so happy to have Lestat back.

“We would meet again as young men. His father was a tailer, they had money, my family did not,” Lestat pauses deciding how to continue. “I was a hunter in my mortal life, at least, I was before I left for Paris. I had killed a pack of wolves that ravaged the village peoples’ livestock, and as thanks, his father made me a beautiful red coat, lined with one of the wolves’ fur.”

“And so this was the first time you two formally met,” Daniel says, nodding along with what Lestat was saying.

“Oui,” he pauses for a moment. “Killing the wolves… had done something to me. I should’ve been dead, but I was not. And knowing that fact, caused distress on my mind. I spiraled into a dark mood after it, laying in my bed in the same bloodied clothes for days on end. I was covered in the blood of the wolves, the blood of my mare, the blood of my mastiffs, my own blood… Using the terms of today’s mortal youths, it had traumatized me,” he sighs before continuing. “But that is not the point, the point is my meeting of Nicki.”

“My mother had become concerned enough to show me solace by the time a week had gone by. She visited me in my room, we talked go how we loathed our family, our pains of life, and she told me it was time for me to move on. She told me of the tailor’s son, and how he had been a law school student, before dropping out to take violin lessons from Mozart,” Lestat smiles softly to himself. “I thought him an idiot. Oh, what I would have done to have the educational opportunities he did.”

Lestat’s face crumples into a blank stare. He looks at the wall and takes a shaky breath before continuing, “She told me his father had threatened to break his hands off if he did not stop with the violin,” A singular blood tear rolls down his cheek before he whispers, “Nicki’s destiny was set in stone from the beginning.”

Daniel and Louis share a look of concern as Lestat stares off blankly. Daniel, in attempts to bring Lestat’s mind back to the conversation, speaks. “So ummm, I’m assuming you met him after that,” he says carefully, as Lestat suddenly breaks out of his thoughts.

“Oui, I thought him interesting. I wanted to hear of his travels, the things he had seen and learned, that I would never be able to,” his face begins melting back into the same private smile it was previously, “After that we started seeing each other daily. We would drink and talk and laugh. And eventually, our relationship deepened. He would play the violin for me and we would dance together, we would make love in little clearings in the vast forrest that surrounded our home, we fell in love.”

Louis feels his face flustering slightly as Lestat goes on speaking of the intimacies he experienced with his first love. He sinks his nails into his palms as Lestat describes how utterly beautiful Nicki had been. But then he remembers the key words, had been, and immediately feels shame at his jealousy.

Nicki had been dead for over two centuries, sure he was Lestat’s first love, but he would not be the one loving Lestat for the rest of eternity. That would be Louis.

“Nicki was the love of my life,” Lestat divulges with a sorrowful sigh. This statement causes both Daniel’s and Louis’ heads to snap over and look at each other before speaking up in unison.

“Excuse you? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“What about your husband? This is really reminding me of that one thing between Armand and you, Louis.”

Lestat’s face changes from mournful to confused in seconds. He realizes his mistake quickly and he raises his hand to quiet the two.

“It seems I have misspoken. I meant it in a way that Nicolas had been the love of my mortal life, not of my existence. Our love did not extend into our immortal lives,” Lestat pauses and swallows thickly, his eyes beginning to take a red tint.

“Nicki was the first person to ever show me love or kindness of any kind. He was the first person that ever made me feel like I had any real value, like my life actually mattered.” He lets out a small sob, before choking out in a deep, guttural voice, “I was not a virgin when our relationship began. I had had sex before with many of the village girls but…” His chest heaves with heavy cries. “H-he was the first person to make me feel like I could be desired for something more than my body. L-like my beauty wasn’t my only redeeming characteristic, like someone could truly love me for who I really was and not just love how my body looked.” He crumbles. His face falls into his hands and he sobs heavily with grief. “I loved him so much.”

Louis moves to the chair Lestat is sitting in, sits down on the arm of it, and takes his husband’s head to his chest. Lestat wraps his arms around Louis and weeps in his chest. Louis softly whispers comforts to him, while stroking his freshly washed, golden locks.

After a few minutes, Lestat’s cries finally subdue. He rests his head on Louis’ chest, allowing his husband’s thundering heart beats to lull him into calmness, before lifting his head and looking back to Daniel, who had looked away out of respect.

“I’m sorry… Sometimes it can be hard to talk about Nicolas. He meant so much to me,” Lestat apologies with a heavy heart while whipping remnants of blood tears from his face.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize, just continue with your story. I’m listening,” Daniel says politely while listening intently for Lestat to begin again.

“We teased the idea of running away to Paris, never intending to actually do it, but that winter my mother fell ill. She knew she was dying and wanted me to leave for Paris, to take her fine Italian jewels and run away. She wanted me to make a better life for myself, to be happy.”

“And so you left for Paris and became an actor, Nicki a violinist at the same theater,” Daniel nods, seeing where Lestat’s account is beginning to blend with the one Armand gave him.

“Oui, that is true.”

“And did Gabrielle get her wish, were you happy?” Daniel questions, pushing on.

“I was,” Lestat pauses, looking at the floor with a blank look. He looks back up to Louis and Daniel with red rimmed eyes, burning with rage.

“Until I was murdered, that is.”

Chapter Text

Lestat sighs and turns his head away from the younger vampires. He lifts himself off of the chair and out of Louis’ embrace, before walking over to the large window in the suite’s parlor. He stands looking at the sky line, at the bright city lights, at the shining crescent moon. No stars are visible. He doesn’t mind though, he’s never been overly found of gazing into starry night skies. They simply remind him too much of home.

Louis and Daniel share a look of concern and confusion. The two watch as Lestat finally separates himself from the window, and picks up the pack of cigarettes that rested on the small table between the chairs.

Lestat sits down in the chair next to the one Louis is seated in. He tensely removes a cigarette from the cartridge, before lifting it to his mouth and lighting it with the fire gift.

“My love, you really aren’t supposed to smoke in hotels,” Louis says cautiously, not wanting to upset his maker.

“And I really do not care,” Lestat exhales deeply, letting out a thick cloud of smoke. He takes a few more drags of it, hoping to ease the sick feeling that is developing in the depths of his stomach.

“So,” Daniel begins, finally breaking the tense silence. “How long did it take for the other shoe to drop and your happiness to end?”

“Daniel! Be sensitive,” Louis reprimands. He turns his head to Lestat, worried for what his reaction may be.

“Non, it is fine Louis. I do not need to be walked on eggshells around,” he leans back in his chair and crushes the cigarette butt he holds. He watches as it burns the tips of his fingers and the ash stains them. “It was spring when we left, December when I was turned. Nicki and I only lived together there for about six months.”

“What about the additional two years after you were turned?” Daniel questions.

“What about them? We did not live together anymore, I wanted nothing more than to shield Nicki from what had happened to me,” Lestat pauses and lets out a remorseful sigh. “But I was selfish, and my attempts only lasted a few months. That’s not important yet though, let me continue with what I was saying, monsieur journalist.”

“Of course, I’ll stop interrupting.” Daniel leans back against the couch, resting his arms above the back of it.

“As you know, Nicki and I worked at a theater. I was an actor, he was part of the orchestra. We were starving and poor and suffering.” Lestat’s lips begin shifting into a small smile. “But I was in Heaven. For the first time, my life was my own. I was in love and I was living, and no poverty could damper my happiness.” Lestat face tightens into a grimace.

“Nicolas did not share my sentiment. He was prone to falling into dark moods and taking them out on me. He would talk of how we were damned for what we did, our love was a sin threatening to destroy us both. That was not true though. The only thing threatening to destroy us was his despair.” Lestat pauses in mournful reflection.

“I think in the end, his despair was what truly ruined us. Either that or my own selfishness.” Lestat pauses for a moment. “Nicki is and will always be, my greatest failure.” He looks away with red rimmed eyes.

“Louis told me, that you said Magnus took you from your room as you slept. Does that mean he took you from Nicki? If so, what did Nicki do in response?” Daniel questions, leaning forward and staring at Lestat in a less than patient manner.

“Daniel, for someone who specialized in interviewing, you sure tend to race ahead,” Louis remarks with a hint of fondness, earning a small smile and nod from Lestat.

“You would be correct Daniel, but I will get to that in a moment,” Lestat pauses, thinking about how to begin. “I felt him for weeks before he took me. He would put images in my head, bring memories forth from my mind, whenever I looked out to the audience from stage, all I saw was him.”

“While this was happening, Nicki had fallen into one of his episodes of despair, so I kept it to myself. Though finally, one evening I could not take it anymore, he had been calling me wolf killer and it horrified me,” Lestat sighs. “Nicki did not take it well when I told him. He told me that all I ever wanted was for people to look at me. He told me it was my ego talking.”

“Naturally, this resulted in one of our frequent arguments. We couldn’t stay mad at each other long though. It was a bitterly freezing winter and we fell asleep in each others warm embrace… That was the last night,” Lestat trails off staring at the floor.

“Magnus took you that night,” Daniel states.

“Oui, he did. I remember waking up to being yanked out of bed. I remember kicking and screaming and grabbing at whatever I could. I remember calling to Nicki. I remember him not answering.” Lestat pauses for a moment, looking up from the floor and at the wall opposite to him. “I remember being pulled out the window and then my memory cuts out until I awaken in his tower.”

“The tower Louis and Armand found you in after the trial play,” Daniel notes.

“Oui. The same tower, centuries apart.” Lestat pauses reflectively. “It was cold and damp,” he says tensely, trying to recount exactly what happened. “I was chained stomach down, to an old, bloodied, moldy, straw mattress. I tried to rise up but I was too weak. My throat ached terribly, my head was swimming, my limbs were under an invisible crushing pressure, and I was oh so terribly thirsty.”

“He had drained you. You were going to be his own personal little fountain,” Daniel states with his usual bluntness, earning himself a glare from Louis.

“Not exactly,” Lestat rubs his teary eyes and stares at the ceiling. “He offered me wine once he entered the room, told me I was too tense. I gulped down the wine as he held the bottle to my mouth, slowly petting my hair as I drank.”

“I hadn’t noticed I was completely naked until he started touching me. Once I realized, I was overcame by the frigid coldness of the night, as well as the blazing fever that was developing inside me.”

“Touching you? What exactly do you mean by that? Touching you how?” Daniel questions, though he already knows the answer. Louis gives him another warning glare.

“How do you think Daniel?” Lestat snaps, before sighing and continuing brashly. “He was on top on me, straddling my upper thighs, his hands holding my face down to the mattress. I tried to move but my limbs were chained down. I couldn’t do anything when he-“ Lestat stops. He swallows thickly and stares at the ceiling, allowing silent tears to flow down his face.

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Louis reaches to touch Lestat’s arm comfortingly, but his husband pulls away.

Lestat leans down against his thigh, once more staring at the floor. “I remember everything perfectly about that first night. I remember the sting of his fangs in my neck, the agony of him inside me, my screams and cries gradually becoming quieter and quieter.”

“We went until the horizon became scarlet. Or- he went until the horizon became scarlet. Never before and never after, have I came as many times in one sitting, as I did that night. I was horrified, I was in agony, and I was in complete and utter lust,” Lestat says shamefully.

“So, you had good ol’ Stockholm,” Daniel remarks.

“Daniel, please for the love of God, have some fucking tact,” Louis curses Daniel for his intensity.

“Non, its quite alright Louis. I guess I could have felt something to that effect. Everything is foggy, looking back. But more than anything, I was absolutely terrified.”

‘Memory is a monster,’ Louis says telepathically to the younger vampire. Daniel nods, before motioning for Letstat to continue.

“He took me the the lowest level of the tower. The part connected to the sewer, the part you have been in,” Lestat says, looking to Louis with bloody eyes.

Louis knows what Lestat will say next. He knows Lestat will speak about the blonds before him, the inferior ones. All he can think of, is when Lestat told him this all those years ago in Paris, and he said he did not care. That was not true, he does care, and he hopes Lestat knows it.

“The smell was suffocating. Dead blond men, all in different stages of decomposition, covered every surface of the room. I remember, he had to kick bodies to clear a walk way, so he could chain me to the wall.” Lestat gags slightly, his eyes filling with tears. He drops his head into his hands and takes deep shaky breathes.

“Les, are you okay my love? Do you need to take a break?” Louis reaches out in concern, taking Lestat’s head from his hands. Lestat shakes his head softly before continue in a trembling voice.

“All of them were around my age, my hair, my eyes, my physique…” Lestat trails off, his face grotesquely contorting with queasiness and sorrow. He looks up at Daniel and then looks towards Louis. “I have a scar by my lip, it has faded considerably as I have progressed in the blood, but back then it was quite dark.” Lestat stares at the wall with a pained, fearful expression. “Every single one of those young men, had a carving of my scar on their face. I had been meticulously hunted and replacements could no longer satisfy.”

Louis covers his mouth in attempts to hide his look of horror. He gazes at Daniel, who has a look of pure disgust on his face. His eyes finally wander back to his husband, who looks greenish and has blood tears steadily flowing down his face. He wants nothing more than to take his husband into his arms as he wept. He opens his mouth to say something before Lestat interrupts him.

“It happened like that for a week. Sodomized and drank from by night, locked in the chamber of rot by day.” Lestat pauses. “At least I think so. I was starving and feverish and freezing to death. I was being slowly drained, I hallucinated constantly during the rare times I was actually conscious.”

“I remember being brought out every night, I would fight, I would pass out, and I would wake up, chained to the wall randomly during the day. By the end of a week, I had no fight left in me. I let him violate me, I let him drain me, I let him do whatever he wished,” Lestat pauses and wipes his teary eyes. “But that’s not what he wanted. He wanted me to fight back. That’s what made it fun.” He lets out a shaky exhale.

“He offered me a choice. I could either do or die, become undead or become dead.” Lestat mutters staring at the floor.

“So you chose do?” Daniel asks.

Lestat sighs, looking back up at Daniel. He shakes his head before speaking softly. “It wasn’t really a question.”

“I begged for my death. He said I was stubborn, I said I was brave. It doesn’t really matter which one of us was right in the end, I was transformed and he had burned within the hour.”

Chapter Text

Louis can’t help but think back to his own turning, his own past ungratefulness for the gift Lestat had bestowed upon him, his own past delusions of Lestat ‘forcing’ vampirism upon him. Guilt curls in his gut. He looks over at his husband, who is looking down at his lap as dark tears gently fall. 

“Les-“ Louis begins in a cracking voice. He swallows back a thick sob.

Lestat looks over at Louis with a confused look, that quickly twists into one of concern. He immediately stops his reflective wallowing and moved to embrace his husband. It made Louis feel beyond selfish.

“Mon cher? What is the matter? Why are you upset?” Lestat asks with concern, gently rubbing circles on Louis’ back.

“I’m sorry Les- I’m so fucking sorry,” Louis breaks down into tears. “All those years I told myself you hadn’t given me a real choice, I thought that you had forced me.” He takes Lestat’s face into his hands and looks him in the eyes sincerely. “But that wasn’t true, it was a lie I told myself because, I regretted my decision and I hated you for offering it to me. I’m so sorry baby, I was blinded by my self hatred back then, and so I wanted you to feel as miserably as I did.”

“Louis… there’s no need for tears. I hold no ill feelings against you for events of the past. We both made a lot of mistakes but, we’ve learned from them, and our relationship is better because of that,” Lestat kisses Louis’ forehead tenderly.

Daniel clears his throat loudly before speaking. “You know, I hate to break up the happy couple’s vow renewal, but I have a question. Because, you know, that's what you do in interviews. You ask questions,” Daniel interrupts in a snarky manner.

“Of course Daniel. As the youth of these days say, lay it out for me,” Lestat says with a small smile.

“Why did you offer it to Louis the night of Paul’s funeral? Is it because you knew he was vulnerable and wouldn’t refuse?” Daniel questions.

“Non, not exactly,” Lestat pauses for a moment and turns back to Louis. “I knew… I could hear your thoughts…” he sighs and turns back to Daniel. “I knew it would be my last chance. I heard Louis wishing for death and I knew if I didn’t offer the gift when I did, I would lose my chance.”

“Les… I always just thought you had wanted to take advantage of my weakness,” Louis begins to tear up again.

“Non mon cher, never. I would have never forced it on you if you truly did not want it, I would not have forced it on you. We had known each other for month’s prior. I knew you were strong, and I knew you would be able to last in the blood. You’ve always been so strong cherie, stronger than I ever could have been,” Lestat says with tears in his eyes, looking at Louis adoringly. “You have a stamina to withstand immortality, that I have never possessed. I was not built for eternity.”

Louis takes Lestat’s face into his hands. “Don’t say that Lestat. I cannot bear hearing that from your lips. I do not want to even imagine an eternity in which, you do not stand by my side.”

Lestat chokes out a small sob. “I had to imagine one without you… Louis I thought you died when Armand called me. I was so scared he had killed you just like, just like-“ He cannot finish his statement. He drops his head and Louis pulls it to his chest.

“Like who? Like Claudia?” Daniel offers in a brash, insensitive manner.

“Like Nicki… Like he wanted to kill Louis in Paris alongside Claudia,” Lestat mumbles into Louis’ chest.

“But you sold out Claudia, and you did the same with Louis, before saving him at the last minute,” Daniel points out.

Lestat bursts up, and out of Louis’ arms,  to his feet. “I didn’t have a choice damnit! He tortured me to do it… Why would I have chosen to kill her? I loved her so much… she was my daughter, she was my baby,” he weeps. He crumples to the ground and sobs like a toddler having a tantrum. 

Louis moves to the ground and gently rubs Lestat’s back while giving Daniel a disapproving look. 

‘Are you sure this is the same brash, controlling man you described to me in our interview, Louis?’ Daniel questions telepathically. 

‘Memory is a monster, Daniel,’ Louis responds telepathically before sighing. “The sun will be coming up soon. All the rooms have protective blackout curtains. You are welcome to sleep in one of them for the day Daniel,” He says aloud. 

Daniel sighs and gets up from his chair. He nods to Louis in thanks, taking the cue that the creole man would like to be alone with his husband, and makes his way towards the bedroom on the far right.  

Louis pulls his husband into his lap and holds him as he weeps. “It’s not on you Les. I don’t blame you. Claudia wouldn’t either if she were still here and knew the truth, she loved you too baby. You were her father and all you ever did was try to protect us, but we never listened,” he says through tears, regret thick in his voice. 

They sit there together for an hour. Louis gently shushes and rocks Lestat as he sobs. By the time Lestat has managed to clam down, or more accurately cry himself into utter exhaustion, the sky outside the window is scarlet.

“Baby, we need to go back to our room. The suns going to come up in a few minutes,” Louis says softly to his husband while kissing his forehead gently. Lestat whimpers in response, so Louis lifts his limp, exhausted body in bridal position, and carries him to their bed. He lays him down gently and pulls shut the door, before joining his husband in bed.

Lestat curls against Louis’ side. “I don’t want to be interviewed anymore. I don’t want to think about the past. I can’t take it Saint Louis,” he confesses.

Louis holds Lestat tighter and begins gently petting his thick golden curls. “You don’t have to baby. Your past is your own, no one can take it from you, and no one is entitled to know it. I shouldn’t have pressured you to tell me things back then, nor should I have resented you when you couldn’t. That wasn’t fair of me.”

Lestat nods in response and they lay together in silence. As Louis is beginning to drift into sleep, he is pulled back to the present by his husband’s despairing voice.
 
“I’m so sorry,” he croaks out in a weak voice.

Louis turns to face Lestat and holds him to his chest. “Shhh, none of that. I don’t blame you Lestat. You don’t deserve to suffer for what happened. You’ve punished and blamed yourself for so long.” He tears up and presses a kiss to Lestat’s lips. “I love you so much baby, I can’t bear to see you hurting any longer.”

Lestat pulls back from Louis in shock. He sits up and stares at Louis with wide, disbelieving eyes. “S-saint Louis… What?” He asks in a broken voice. “You don’t have to lie to me just because you pity me,” he mumbles, staring down at the sheets and wallowing in hurt.

Guilt turns in Louis’ gut at Lestat’s words. Lie to him..? Did his husband truly not believe that he loved him? Sure, he had never told him so, but he had to know- right? His heart broke as he saw blood pouring out of Lestat’s eyes. He sat up and pressed his lips against his husband’s desperately.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much baby. I’m so sorry I never told you, I’m so sorry I ever made you feel unloved. You’re my fucking world baby. I can live in the damnedest dark for all eternity and still bask in the light, because you’re my sun. You are my light, my happiness. You’re all I need to live. If you were the last vampire on earth, that would be enough,” Louis proclaims through tears. He gripped his husband’s shoulders tightly, not letting him avoid eye contact. 

Lestat screams and sobs. Blood pours from his eyes, spit from his mouth. His heart feels as though it’s going to burst in his chest, pouring open and bleeding out from the force of his love for Louis. His body shakes with his sobs, as he stares at Louis, desperate for him to continue.

“I love you so fucking much. I always have and always will. So please baby, don’t cry anymore, don’t suffer. Let us be all the beautiful things we are, and be them without apology. For all eternity,” he cries as he restates the wedding vows Lestat had sworn to him a century prior.

But unlike that night on the alter, Lestat is the one to hold Louis’ face in his hand, kissing him passionately, and sealing their promise, for all eternity.