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Ten tiny fingers. Ten tiny toes. A wisp of blondish hair barely covering the baby's little head. The cutest button nose Tobin had ever seen. Her newborn daughter was a little bundle of perfection in her arms.
Tobin felt a bit guilty for having even wondered sometimes, before this day, if she would feel exactly the same kind of deep, intense and definitely unique kind of love she had felt when Josh was born, four years ago. He was her firstborn after all, a completely new experience that brought along new, raw and overwhelming feelings, in the best way possible.
Of course she had loved this little girl since she was a little peanut inside Christen's womb. She would talk to the baby all the time and wish her goodnight every single day before bed, sometimes even waking up Christen in the process. But still, sometimes, when her mind started to wander and she thought about the future, Tobin wondered just how intense her feelings would be once their daughter was born.
But now, with her tiny baby girl resting safely on her arms while Christen took a shower in the hospital bedroom, Tobin realized how unfounded her concerns had been. With Sophie here, she confirmed to herself that emotions ran high no matter if it was your first or your sixth child.
"Hi cutie, hi sweetheart," Tobin cooed softly to the newborn baby sleeping peacefully in her arms, then began peppering her little chubby face with gentle, loving kisses. "You're so beautiful, and I love you so much."
"I know that look. It's the look of someone completely wrapped around her new baby's little finger," a familiar voice called from the bathroom.
"I am, aren't I?" Tobin chuckled, turning briefly to see Christen, fresh out of the shower, wearing just an oversized t-shirt and shorts and drying her hair with a towel.
“We both are. As soon as I held her and saw her cute little face, I knew I was a goner,” Christen laughed softly, sitting next to Tobin on the hospital bed and leaning her head on Tobin's shoulder to look at their sleeping daughter. “Gosh, look at her. What a cutie, and she's still totally milk drunk.”
“I know! She was smiling in her sleep a bit just now, probably dreaming about being fed again,” Tobin chuckled, still not taking her eyes off the baby and tracing the girl's little palms with one finger. “She's so perfect.”
“She is, our cute perfect little munchkin,” Christen sighed happily, kissing the baby's forehead and taking a moment to delight in her newborn's scent that made her feel so at peace. But then she groaned softly, scrunching up her face.
“Are you feeling okay? Let me help you,” Tobin said in a worried tone, getting up from the bed so her wife could lie down. Christen had given birth barely eight hours ago, and though everything had gone really well, she was obviously feeling the postpartum discomforts. Her body had gone through so much, and Tobin could only imagine what it felt like.
“Yeah, I'm fine, just really sore…” Christen answered with a small smile, but her face showed that she was still uncomfortable. She lay down on the now empty bed with Tobin's help, who was still holding the baby with one arm. “I just need time to recover. At least this little one won't be kicking my bladder nonstop anymore,” she chuckled, and patting the empty space next to her she added: “C’mere, you two, I want my favorite girls with me.”
“You're such a warrior,” Tobin said softly, looking at her wife with genuine admiration. She kissed Christen's cheek sweetly. “I'll never be able to thank you enough for making our little family bigger and more beautiful, Chris… for bringing our kids into this world, for bringing more love to us… It's the greatest and most selfless act of love. You never stop amazing me.”
“I love that I get to live my life with you and our little family. I'm so proud of what we've built and what we'll keep building. I really chose well when I met you all those years ago, huh?”
“Ditto,” Tobin pecked Christen's lips. They lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes, arms wrapped around each other while they kept admiring the new addition to their family.
“So, how do you feel now that you finally have our second in your arms?" Christen asked with a smile, recalling when Tobin had shyly confessed her doubts about feeling the same kind of love she had felt when Josh was born.
"Like my heart might burst with love any minute now, and like I want to protect her from everything bad in this world and I just want her to be happy. So, so, so happy,” Tobin answered immediately, tracing the girl's chubby rosy cheeks with one finger. “I don't know why I ever doubted it.”
“We’re on the same page, then. God, she's so beautiful, I can’t stop looking at her,” Christen gushed, completely enamored with her new baby, caressing her little feet covered with tiny socks.
“Perfect. And that newborn smell? Gosh.”
“We do make cute babies, don't we?”
“The cutest.”
They spent a few more minutes in comfortable silence, until Christen heard a sniff from Tobin. She looked over and saw her wife biting her lower lip. The younger woman stroked Tobin's hair softly. “Baby, are you crying?”
“Yeah… I'm just… happy,” Tobin smiled, wiping away a few happy tears that were rolling down her cheeks. Christen smiled knowingly, feeling her own eyes fill with tears, and wrapped an arm around Tobin's shoulders. She had also cried happily earlier, first when she held the girl for the first time, and then when their kids met each other. Seeing Josh's happy face at finally meeting his baby sister had pulled at all her heartstrings.
“You got your mommy all emotional, Soph. A few hours in this world and you've already made her cry,” Christen teased, kissing Tobin's cheek and wiping away her tears. “She's amazing, you'll see.”
Both women gazed lovingly at the baby, and at that moment, the newborn girl opened her eyes slowly, let out the cutest tiny yawn, and instinctively curled up against Tobin's chest. She grabbed a bit of Tobin's t-shirt with one tiny fist and Christen's index finger with the other, gazing curiously at her moms with her almond-shaped brown eyes.
"I think she is trying to tell us to shut up and let her sleep," Tobin joked.
“She has your eyes, she definitely does,” Christen said happily, running a finger over the baby's soft forehead. The girl had light brown skin that matched Christen and Josh's, but she had definitely inherited Tobin's eyes in shape and color, much to the brunette’s delight. “Hopefully she'll have that same beautiful smile of yours.”
“Oh, if she does, she'll be a total charmer. I made you fall for me with that smile, after all.”
“Sure…” Christen teased, rolling her eyes but knowing Tobin was right. “I just want her to show off that beautiful smile because she's happy. I want her to be the happiest, most confident little girl in the world,” Christen said in a wobbly voice, getting visibly emotional.
“She will be. We'll make sure of that,” Tobin said softly. “You're so loved, baby girl. Your mommas love you so much, and so does your big brother. He's the best.”
The girl just looked at her moms with a tiny frown, started squirming, and let out a small cry.
“I think this little one is hungry again,” Christen sighed, motioning for Tobin to hand over the baby.
“You're so gorgeous,” Tobin said with a look of pure love as she watched her wife get ready to nurse their newborn again.
“Gorgeous as in I gave birth a few hours ago, have huge bags under my eyes, and I’m so exhausted I'm failing at getting my boob out of my bra right now,” Christen said sarcastically, with a tired look on her face. Tobin gave her a small, understanding smile and helped her get ready and settle the baby against her chest. She could only imagine how her wife was feeling after nine months of pregnancy and hours of labor. She had never been pregnant, but she had been with Christen through every stage of her two pregnancies and knew there were moments when her wife's body image had been affected. Tobin hated seeing Christen doubting herself, so she always wanted to make sure her wife felt safe and loved.
“Baby? You're always beautiful to me, even more so now. You're glowing, even if you're tired,” Tobin said softly, looking Christen in the eyes and stroking her cheek.
“Thank you,” Christen smiled warmly, gazing into Tobin's eyes. She squeezed Tobin's hand affectionately. “Thank you for taking care of us and loving all of us so much. I couldn't do this without you."
Their daughter stirred in Christen's arms, her eyes fluttering as if sensing the warmth and love surrounding her. Tobin and Christen shared a smile, silently marveling at the miracle of their growing family.