Work Text:
His hand was trembling as he stared at the man in front of him.
“I—I’m sorry,” he stammered out, his eyes widening at the look of betrayal on his face.
“Yeo—Yeosang,” the man said with a voice tinged with pain.
He closed his eyes as he pulled the knife that was embedded deep in San’s abdomen, he could hear the knife pulled out from San’s flesh. Blood was tainting his hands; a shaky smile was on his lips as he watched San’s body fall onto the ground.
He stared at San’s almost lifeless form, San was still alive; though, he was quite sure the man would be dead any moment without any quick medication. He shudders as he runs away from the alley, where he left San to his death.
San would probably die from the blood loss; he hoped the man would die quickly without anyone ever discovering that he was the one that killed him. He doesn’t have any other choices after all, with a knife pushed under his throat; he doesn’t have any choices beside do what he was told to do.
He retched out his stomach contents, as he washed away any lingering blood from his hands and the knife. He needs to hide the evidence, there’s nobody that could know what he did tonight. He still could recall San’s betrayed expression, it hurts him, but what else could he do.
He doesn’t have any power against them.
It’d be much easier if San wasn’t kind to him in the first place. Then he wouldn’t be accepted in the Outlaw gang, that thought made him to a halt.
What could he say to them, when they discovered that he was the one that killed San?
Yeosang shook his head quickly, “No, no, they wouldn’t ever know,” he muttered to himself as he put back his knife.
Though, that thought of his seems to be in the wrong.
As he could see the message showing on his phone screen about San’s well-being. He could feel his senses go haywire, as he gulped down his nervousness about getting discovered. The fear of being discovered as the perpetrator was so high, that he couldn't sit down in peace.
He paced back and forth in his house, as he thought about how he should finish the job.
If they knew San was still alive, and knew he didn’t finish it properly, they would take it out on her. His sister, she wasn’t supposed to be with them. She doesn’t even know that he was threatened by her well-being, he already could hear their taunting about how they would torture and then kill his sister.
He pulled on his hair as he fell on his knees. The frustration was bubbling inside his chest; as he never intends to be stuck in this hellish cycle.
Curse him, and his kindness in his youth.
If only he didn’t ever meet that man. If only he never rescued that man, and let him die on that alley on that day.
How innocent he was that day.
Not suspecting anything, instead concern was written all over his face as he could hear soft groans of pain in the dark alley he usually passed by. It wasn’t difficult to make a quick decision, he immediately rushed over to the sound of it.
His eyes widened as he saw how much blood was on the man that laid unconscious inside the dark alley. He feels nauseous with how thick the stench of blood near him, but still with his bleeding heart he quickly dialed an ambulance.
He crouched near the man, putting his finger under the man’s nose.
He breathed out in relief as the man was still alive. Though, he was probably near-death with how weak his chest was heaving up and down.
He even went with the ambulance and waited until the man was conscious.
The moment the man was awake, he immediately asked his name.
At that moment he was so innocent that he immediately gave his full name to the stranger in front of him. He regretted it now immensely, as that resulted in his sister getting kidnapped and becoming a hostage to keep him on leash for the man that still lied on the hospital bed at the time.
“Kang Yeosang,” he told the man his name.
The man smiled kindly at him; though he knew now that at the time that was a cover just for him to lower his guard even more than he already was.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Lee Taeyong.”
With that exchange of names; he had his fate for the next months sealed and be on the leash for Taeyong to use him freely.
He anxiously visited San, though he kept his guard up; wary of any suspicions that could be thrown at his directions. More so, knowing that he only had a short time with the Outlaw gang; they still feel some suspicion towards him.
It probably heightened even more, with San laid unconscious in the medical room.
He could feel his skin prickled with the cold air surrounding him, their hot stares were on his back as he slowly came inside the medical room. He bit his lips as he saw the result of his own hand; San’s were pale enough to be mistaken as a corpse.
They probably found San just in time, before his life extinguished completely.
Just like what he did for Taeyong.
“How,” he took a deep breath as he felt himself getting shaken in front of San’s lifeless figure, “How’s San condition?” he asked him carefully.
Seonghwa, the Outlaw’s doctor, looked at him with a flat expression.
He bit his lips as he was on the receiving end of those stares, it felt uncomfortable; but he deserves every little bit of it. When he was the one that put San in that state, of course they didn’t know that yet.
And he hoped it would continue like that.
“He already passed the critical point, the only thing left was for San to wake up by himself.”
Yeosang could feel himself be shaken by that statement. As the only thing he could think right now was not about San’s quick recovery, instead he already planned for the next step he would need to finish the job while San still couldn’t say anything about what he did.
“Oh,” slipped out of his lips as his eyes were still staring at San's sleeping face.
With that Seonghwa ushered him to exit the room.
He knew it. That in the first place, he made the mistake to stab San on the abdomen; he probably should just slit his throat and he wouldn’t be in this predicament in the first place.
He hung his head low as he put his hands on his head.
“Yeosang,”
That voice snapped him out of his deep thoughts and instantly made his body stiff, as he recognized that voice as Hongjoong; the leader of Outlaw.
“Hyung,” he replied calmly, even if deep inside he was panicking as he had the leader’s attention on him.
“Did you meet San last night?”
That question made him freeze on the spot, as he didn’t expect to hear it from Hongjoong. No, he didn’t expect to be questioned in the first place. But it seems that San told Hongjoong about meeting him last night.
With that, he could think himself to be fortunate enough; as if he finished the job last night. He would probably be on the wanted list of Outlaws’ own.
Yeosang shook his head, “No, Hyung,”
Hongjoong pursed his lips at his answer, but he didn't say any accusation towards him; as he could see the leader was holding himself from throwing accusation. Yeosang could see that Hongjoong was suspecting him as the one that injured San.
He knew that Hongjoong would always suspect him first; as he was always seen as someone that quite shady. He never shares anything about his personal life to them, as he learned his lesson with Taeyong.
San, his target was someone important in the Outlaw gang. He’s the right hand of Hongjoong.
With that he could understand why Hongjoong would suspect him in the first place; as San told the leader about their meeting.
He let out a breath of relief as Hongjoong leave him alone to his own thoughts. It feels like he was on the edge with how close Hongjoong to disclose his secret; even if that was not true. As that would be only accusation with how there’s no evidence that he was the one injuring San.
The only thing that could be evidence now was San’s own memory.
“Yeosang!”
That cheerful voice was probably Wooyoung. With how loud he was calling him, he was quite sure that even Seonghwa could hear his voice from the medical room.
He looked at Wooyoung with a smile on his lips.
“Wooyoung,” he greeted the excitable man.
Wooyoung returned the smile, “Did you see San yet?”
“I already did,”
“He’s so pale,”
“I see,”
“The moment he was brought here, Hongjoong wasn’t even sure that San would still alive.”
It would be much better if San died. He thought to himself as he heard Wooyoung’s words.
“The wound was quite deep, and the blood loss was horrendous.”
“Yeah, I could see that with how pale he was,”
Wooyoung then took a deep breath, “I wasn’t even sure that San would survive,” his voice was in the urge of tears.
He stiffened as Wooyoung leaned to him; he was unsure how to comfort Wooyoung, he awkwardly put his arm around Wooyoung’s shoulder. To comfort him, it seems to be working as Wooyoung calms down.
“Thanks, Yeosang,” muttered Wooyoung as he wiped away the unshed tears under his eyes.
Wooyoung looked at him earnestly with those reddened eyes, it was difficult to stare too long into those eyes. He turned his gaze away, as he felt Wooyoung’s eyes would make him spill his entire guts.
This was the reason; he couldn’t be too close to Wooyoung.
The man was too kind and he knew that Wooyoung was just trying to make him feel welcomed in Outlaw. But he preferred that he wasn’t accepted entirely; as he just planned to finish the job he did towards San.
“You’re welcome, Woo.”
As he said those words he was facing the other direction. Afraid that Wooyoung could see fear in his eyes; there’s something akin to deceit that could be seen on his person. Though, that was impossible to be spotted on. As he was quite sure that he hid it well.
And, no one in the Outlaw knew him that well. He made sure of that, with the distance he put between them and himself.
Though, there’s a close call when he was comfortable enough with San. But he shook those feelings off him, he couldn’t put his sister’s well-being in jeopardy just because of a fleeting emotion he had.
“Wooyoung,” then a pause, “Oh, Yeosang you’re also here.”
He lifted his gaze up slightly to see Yunho stand in the entrance, a smile etched on his lips. It wasn’t difficult to like the taller man, though he despised it. As every single cell of his being always would soften when he was around them.
“Yunho, did you already visit San?”
Yunho nodded his head solemnly, “Yeah, he was in a terrible condition,” then he added with a grimace on his lips, “though, San was fortunate enough to be found by Jongho.”
That piece of small information perked him up, he looked at Yunho, “Jongho?”
The taller man looked at him and nodded his head, “Yeah, Jongho was the one that found him.”
Yeosang internally cursed at Jongho for finding San. He hoped that his expression wouldn’t betray him as he thought about Jongho and cursing the younger.
“How’s Jongho? He seems to be in a terrible state as he comes here.”
“He’s,” Yunho trailed off, “coping, as he found San in that terrible state.”
Yeosang nodded his head as he processed that information, though he was thinking about how he should confront Jongho. As he had this fear Jongho noticed something on San, as he found San in his near-death state.
He abruptly stood up from his seat.
“Where are you going?” Wooyoung asked him with curiosity in his voice.
“Jongho.”
Yunho shook his head at that, “He wouldn’t see you today, he was still in shock.”
That made Yeosang sat back on his seat, Wooyoung put his hand on his shoulder. He turned his head towards Wooyoung only to see Wooyoung shaking his head at him. Probably to make him stop from seeing Jongho now.
He bit his lips, but nodded his head anyway, “Alright, tomorrow then, if Jongho would have me.”
That was what he said earlier.
But he couldn’t wait until tomorrow, he immediately looked for Jongho the moment he was left alone. He clenched his jaw as he walked towards where Jongho’s position could be. Though, to no avail, he couldn’t find Jongho anywhere.
Instead of finding Jongho, he finds Mingi instead.
The taller man was cleaning up his weapon, brandishing it. He could see the glint from his weapon, it was a small knife that Mingi usually had his hand on.
The sight of it strikes some fear in him, but he shakes it off. As nobody knew what he did, there’s no reason for him to be afraid. San still laid motionlessly on the bed of the medical room with Seonghwa tending to him.
“Oh Yeosang,” Mingi exclaimed as he saw him.
The taller man put the knife back to his pocket and walked towards him with a kind smile on his lips. He tilted his head as he probably noticed the serious expression he had, then he opened his mouth.
“What’s so serious that you’re looking like that?”
“It’s, I’m searching for Jongho.” He told Mingi truthfully, his expression was still the same as earlier.
“Jongho? Oh, you already visited San, didn’t you?”
“Y—Yeah,” he stammered out, with a hint of nervousness.
Mingi’s expression soured, he seems to be reluctant to say anything about Jongho. But then he took a deep breath and sighed, he looked at him directly on his eyes. That made him pull his head back, with how intense Mingi’s stare was.
“He’s not accepting any visitors, Yeosang.”
“B—but,”
Mingi shook his head, “No, he doesn’t want to see anyone at the time,”
“But Mingi, I—”
Before he could even finish his sentence, Mingi already stared at him intensely; that made him stop in the middle of his sentence. He immediately shut his mouth and tried not to push the boundaries. Even if he still wanted to insist on seeing Jongho immediately.
“Just go home for now, Yeo.” Mingi told him with a gentle voice.
He closed his eyes momentarily and nodded his head, “Alright, I’ll just go home.” he muttered under his breath.
The moment he arrived at his home, all he could think was about Jongho and San. He could feel his anxiety killing him, as he needs to wait until tomorrow to see Jongho. Even then, it was still not certain whether Jongho would accept visitors as he was heavily disturbed by finding San in that state.
Yeosang covered his face with his hands as he took a deep breath and let out a silent scream.
He feels that he couldn’t do any of this any longer.
He threw his head back and he stared at his house’s ceilings; hoping there’s some leeway for him to use. At least if he couldn’t escape from this hellish cycle, his older sister would be safe from anyone’s reach. But now, she is currently held as a hostage by Taeyong.
He knew that he could just be truthful to the Outlaw’s members. But he was already deep enough and he was sure that even them couldn’t pull him out from the mess he was in. Even then, if they would forgive him from almost killing San.
“Of course, they wouldn’t…” he mumbled to himself as he tried to make himself fall asleep.
With that he fell into a fitful sleep.
The moment he woke up, he woke up startled by the sound of his phone ringing. He let out a ragged breath, as he reached for his phone. He squinted his eyes at the name that was flickering on his phone screen.
“Hello?”
“Ah, Yeosang,”
He blinked his eyes a few times, as he pulled his phone away from his ear. He carefully read the name once again and let out a curse under his breath, as it was Taeyong that was calling him.
“Hyung.”
“Do not fret, I’m just checking your job.”
Yeosang bit his lips, as he doesn’t have any answer that Taeyong would like. His job to kill San was a failure, as not only he failed in killing him. His undercover could be blown if San regained his consciousness.
“Hmm, it seems you haven’t finished your job, haven’t you?”
“I’m sorry,”
An amused laugh could be heard from the other line, he cringed as he heard that laugh. He knew that if Taeyong laughed like that, it meant he wasn’t delighted with him. In fact, it was the opposite and he only could face the brunt of Taeyong’s anger.
“You seem to be not apologetic enough to my ears,” he paused for a second, “Or do you want your sister to face the brunt of it?”
That question made him hold his breath; he bit his lips hard until he could feel copper on his tongue. He couldn’t respond to that question besides saying “No”. Of course, he doesn’t want his sister to face the brunt of Taeyong’s anger, she doesn’t deserve any of it.
“Do it right, this time,” then he paused, “there’s no next time for you.”
With that Taeyong hung up the phone.
While he tried to calm himself down, from the implication if he doesn’t kill San now; his sister would be tortured or worse. He was sweating bullets as he couldn't seem to stop his hands from shaking, he took a deep breath and shuddered as he exhaled.
It doesn’t help that he feels the urge to laugh maniacally.
He pulled on his hair as he tried to pull himself together, he wrapped his arms around himself and curled into himself as he pushed down the urge to have a breakdown right now. It would be much easier if he could just die right now.
But no, he couldn’t do that. When her older sister was still in Taeyong's hands, he couldn’t possibly let that happen. His older sister, the one that raised him until he was an adult; he had so much debt towards her.
He needs to pay those debts, before he could die.
He was here.
Once again, he was inside Outlaw’s turf. Disguising himself as one of them, when in fact he was just someone on the leash with someone else as his owner. Choking him until he couldn’t breathe, he shuddered as he stepped inside the medical room.
His eyes were watching San sleeping peacefully. His chest moving up and down as he breathed, he clenched his hands into fist as he screwed his eyes shut tight.
The urge to let out a sob was difficult to push down.
But he managed to, as he stepped away from San’s bed and walked towards Jongho’s whereabouts. He hoped the younger would accept him inside. He needs to talk to him.
The moment he was near Jongho’s vicinity, he immediately rushed towards him. He doesn’t care that it was out of character for him, he was sick of the leash that was on him. He needs their help; whether they would condemn him for death after he told them the truth was another thing.
“Hyung?”
“Jongho,”
Jongho’s expression was full of confusion, as he never saw him like this. Of course, they wouldn’t ever see the real him; he would never let anyone too close. Afraid of them using him like what Taeyong did to him.
“Could you help me?”
That sentence hardens Jongho’s gaze on him, as he seems to be not expecting those sentences out of his mouth. Someone like him, who put some distance with everyone, was asking for help. Jongho probably thought that he was in deep trouble, and he probably believed that it had something to do with San’s current condition.
If that was what he thought of his plea for help, he wouldn’t refute any of it. As long as his sister would be safe.
“What,” he paused and carefully watched his expression, “What could I help you with Hyung?”
“Please search for my sister,” then he added the crucial information, “she was held as a hostage by Neo.”
Yeosang closed his eyes as he told Jongho; the most well-guarded secret of his.
The younger nodded his head and didn’t ask anything further about it. That made Yeosang feel relieved that he doesn’t need to explain himself why his sister was held as a hostage by Taeyong. Instead, now he probably should prepare himself to betray Taeyong; he needs to tell the rest of Outlaw about Neo.
But even then, he was quite sure that Hongjoong already knew about their rival gang.
With that he left Jongho to his own devices; he wanted to check San once again. The moment he stepped inside the medical room, he could see San already sat up and stared at him with wide eyes. Just as he was about to say something, Seonghwa came in and saw how San was already conscious.
The doctor immediately contacted the rest of Outlaw’s members. They rushed inside the medical room and saw that San had already regained his consciousness. He could feel the happiness radiating inside the medical room.
Yeosang doesn’t feel an ounce of happiness; all he could feel was dread for the inevitable. He was anxious over whether San would tell the rest about the truth of the wound that he got. He stared at San from afar as he didn't have the courage to look him in the eye.
“How are you feeling, San?” Their leader asked San with a gentle tone and a soft smile on his lips.
San only smiled, “Could be better.”
He could still feel San’s gaze lingering on him, it was hot on his neck. As he turned his body around; he didn't have the courage to return the gaze that was on him. He quietly slipped away, not wanting to have any confrontation for today.
But it seems to be too late to avoid some kind of confrontation.
As he sensed that someone was trailing him; he immediately turned his body around. His body was tense as he anticipated a fight. But as he turned his body around, it was just Seonghwa; their doctor.
“Yeosang.”
“Hyung.”
A sigh slipped out of Seonghwa’s lips, as he walked closer to him. Then he slowly put his hand on his shoulder, a frown etched on Seonghwa’s lips; as he probably felt how stiff he was under his hand.
“You’re so stiff,” he commented, his voice tinged with concern.
Yeosang could only give the older man an awkward smile, “It’s nothing Hyung,” he assured the man.
But he could see that Seonghwa was not buying his excuse, with those eyebrows knitted together. In the end he was pulled back into the medical room, where everyone was still crowding over San. He could hear they were questioning San how he could get wounded.
As San was a skilled fighter; it was quite difficult to win against him. He was quite lucky at the time, that he could take San off guard and immediately stabbed San. He could get injured; but San was so taken off guard that he only stared at him for a few seconds with a look of betrayal until he pulled back the knife and he laid on the ground motionlessly.
Yeosang silently observed them; as Seonghwa fussed over him. He could hear the older man telling him to take care of his body, but he wouldn’t heed any of that advice as he feels that it didn’t have any importance whether he took care of his body or not.
The only thing he needed to do was to make sure his older sister was alright.
He jumped slightly as Seonghwa put his hands on his shoulder. He turned his head slightly to look at what Seonghwa was doing; the older smiled at him as he squeezed his shoulder, which made him groan from the pain that suddenly washed over him.
“See? You’re so stiff,”
“I know,”
Seonghwa hummed, “You seem to be stressed, what’s on your mind Yeo?”
That question made him shut his mouth, afraid that he would say something unnecessary to the doctor. He shook his head instead, and stood up from the bed he sat on. He gave Seonghwa a smile, as he felt like he couldn’t stay any longer, more so, with San already regained his consciousness.
“There’s nothing on my mind,” he told Seonghwa, then he added, “See you later, Hyung.”
Seonghwa shook his head at his actions, but he didn't say anything besides, “Yeah.” With a defeated tone.
Once again, he cooped inside his own home.
This time, he would make plans that surely wouldn’t fail. He bit his lips, as the thought of him failing shouldn’t even be crossing his mind. Also, he hoped that Jongho could find out his sister’s whereabouts.
Though, knowing Taeyong; it would be insanely difficult. He probably would move his sister’s place around, in anticipation if he ever tried to get his sister back forcefully.
Yeosang shook his head, as the only thing he needed to focus on was San.
The security would be tight around San, he probably wouldn’t get the chance to be alone with San. It just became insanely difficult to execute his plan, just because of his single blunder. Although now, he was unsure whether he should go by his plan to execute San or to just beg forgiveness from Outlaw’s members.
It made him grimace, as what he did; couldn’t be possibly be forgiven that easily. It could just end up with his head on the platter.
He threw his head back as he screwed his eyes shut tight.
He dragged his hands over his face, as he couldn’t make up his mind about the choice he needed to make. It feels like he was gambling, as he doesn’t know the outcome of his decision. All of it depends on their responses.
He clenched his hands tightly until he could feel pain; it’d be much easier to let the pain take his mind off those decisions he needed to make than closing his eyes to catch up on some sleep that he lacked.
Even if he already could feel the side effect of his lack of sleep for these few days.
Since San regained his consciousness, he let himself cooped inside his house. He doesn’t even pick up those calls from the Outlaws’ for exception Jongho; as he still waited for the younger to locate his older sister’s whereabouts so he could just make up his mind already.
Whether he should lay his life over the Outlaws’ or Taeyong.
The sound of his phone’s ringtone snapped him out of his deep thoughts.
He immediately checked who it was, he held his breath as he saw that it was Jongho’s name that was flickering on his phone screen. He could feel his heart stutter for a second, as he picked up the call.
“Hyung,”
“Jongho, did you—?” he asked without any greeting offered.
A sigh could be heard from the other line, “I found her, Hyung.”
Yeosang’s eyes widened as he heard the answer he wanted, he tightened his grip on his phone and with voice out of breath; he opened his mouth to ask the crucial question.
“How’s her condition?”
The silence from Jongho was all he needed.
He immediately hung up the call and put his phone on the nightstand, as he sat on the edge of his bed. Sobs escaped his lips even as he covered his mouth, with tears wetting his cheeks. He choked on his tears as he gripped onto his shirt collar tightly; as the loss of his sister greatly pained him that he couldn’t open his eyes properly with tears streamed down his face nonstop.
“No, no, no,” he mumbled to himself repeatedly as he couldn’t comprehend the fact his sister wasn’t here anymore.
“I promise to you, that I will save you.”
“How could it end up like this?”
“No, he must be lying.”
Then silence filled the room.
“But why would even Jongho lie to me?”
Yeosang finally made up his mind.
He came back to the Outlaw; he could see them looking at him with concern etched on their expressions. San were also watching him warily, probably afraid that he would attempt to kill him again.
Unfortunately, that fear of his wouldn’t come true.
“Yeosang, where did you go?” Wooyoung asked with worry in his tone.
He only smiled at Wooyoung. As he doesn’t have the strength to answer that silly question, wasn’t the important thing for him to be here right now?
Also, he doesn’t even question the fact that the rest were treating him like usual. His gaze landed on San’s fidgety self, as he came to the conclusion that the Outlaw’s leader’s right-hand were not saying anything about his attempt to kill him.
It must be confusing.
San probably was confused how to break the news to the rest without throwing the gang into a state of chaos. With the truth there’s a traitor in the midst of Outlaw.
He stood there in the middle of their meeting point.
He could see their curiosity piqued by his abrupt action that was out of his usual behavior, he smiled at them. Though, he also could see that San was a little bit nervous.
It was easier to forget his pain, he realized that he could just end the pain he was currently in with his death. Of course, suicide was easy to do; he could do that in his own house. But he didn't want that, he wanted to die in the Outlaws’ hands.
With that, he could make Taeyong infuriated by his actions.
The dog he leashed loses its control and attacks everything in its sight. It was a fitting end for him, to be put down as his reason to withstood everything that was thrown at him was gone. His beloved older sister, his lovely sister that cared for him. She’s gone.
And she couldn’t be saved, as she died in her captivity.
Without any warning, he pulled out the knife he used that night to stab San.
He could see their eyes widened in alarm; they immediately put their guard up and distanced themselves from him.
They probably could see the glint of craziness in his eyes.
“Y—Yeo, put that knife down.” Seonghwa stammered out as he shied away from his gaze.
“Yeosang, what are you doing?” Hongjoong asked with a demanding tone, as he carefully came closer to where Yeosang was standing.
He shook his head as he heard their words, a sad smile was adorned on his lips as he pinpointed his knife towards their direction.
“I’m sorry,”
“You could apologize later,” Yunho interjected as he slowly came closer to Yeosang.
“Please just put that knife down,” Wooyoung pleaded as he widened his distance from Yeosang’s position.
He could see from the corner of his eyes that San was shaking slightly as he probably had flashbacks about the stabbing he did that night.
A laugh bubbled up in his chest; as it was weird for San to not say anything. It was quite easy to make them be enraged with the truth San hid from them. He opened his mouth and told them what he did to San.
“I was the one that stabbed San!” he announced loudly.
Immediately everyone’s expression hardened, though some of them widened their eyes as they couldn’t believe their ears. San’s expression morphed into panic; as he probably didn’t expect him to reveal the truth.
“NO! He’s not!”
Yeosang shook his head, “Why are you even bothering to hide it?” he mused as he tightened his grip on the knife in his hand.
“It’s not like you have any choice!”
“What do you even know?”
San lowered his head, “I know everything.”
He clenched his jaw as he heard that, he could feel everything shift under his feet. The fact that San knew, that means everyone also knew about it. Yet, they don’t even do anything to help him. His body trembled with rage.
“You knew? YOU KNEW?” he bellowed as he walked closer to them still with the knife out.
“Yes, we knew,” Hongjoong admitted as he warily came closer to him.
Even the Outlaw’s leader was admitting it.
He was stupefied as heard it; he couldn’t believe his ears. The only thing he could hear next was the blood rushing into his head. His hands were shaking, as he couldn’t comprehend the fact that they knew yet, they didn’t do anything to confront him.
What do they exactly know? When do they even know that his loyalty didn’t lie with them?
Did they know he was a traitor? Or did they know that he was threatened by Taeyong; Neo’s leader from behind the scene? Or, or they only know that he was someone sent by Taeyong?
“What do you know?” he hissed menacingly, as he pointed the knife at Hongjoong.
Before Hongjoong could even say something, Mingi beat him to it.
“We know all of it! We know how you’re used by Neo’s leader; we know your older sister was held as a hostage to threaten you!" Mingi roared back as he ran towards Yeosang and pushed Yeosang until his back met the wall.
Yeosang loses his grip over the knife and let out a pained groan as his back roughly met the wall, he glared at Mingi as he heard the words that the tall man shouted.
“Yet,” he started with a low voice as he hung his head low, “all of you didn’t do a single thing to help me!” he shouted as he struggled against Mingi’s hold over him.
He writhed against Mingi with all his might, unfortunately he was stuck in Mingi’s hold. He could see the rest of Outlaws’ members were coming closer to him. He glared at them, he hoped that conveyed his feelings.
“We tried,” Hongjoong said those two words quite softly, that it almost went unheard by him.
That statement made Yeosang scoff; as it just sounded ridiculous to his ears. That was just an excuse, a lame excuse at that. It didn’t move his heart, if that was what Hongjoong intended with those terrible excuses.
“So? My point still stands, you all didn’t do a single thing!”
“We did do something.”
He looked at who was saying that nonsense; it was San. His body was shaking slightly as he wrapped his arms around himself. His eyes were looking at his direction, he could see San already pulling himself together carefully.
“Tell me, what did you do exactly then?”
San turned his head away; he could see he bit his lips as if he was unsure about what needs to be said. Yeosang scoffed and rolled his eyes as he saw that, “It must be bullshit then, if you didn’t want to say anything about it.”
Wooyoung glared at him, it was an intense look on his face that he was taken aback; though still his point stands if they didn’t say anything about it.
He used the momentum and let himself free from Mingi’s tight grasp. He reached out for the knife that was out of his grasp earlier.
“Shit!” Mingi groaned as he fell backward from Yeosang pushing him hard.
“Shit indeed,” Yeosang mused, as he once again pinpointed his knife against them.
He cocked his head at them; as they once again put their guards up. With him holding a knife, he could be a threat to them if they let themselves lax when he was holding a knife up.
“Just tell him the truth!”
Wooyoung shouted at Hongjoong as he grasped onto the leader’s collar, he could feel his lips quirked up as he saw the display in front of him. He never saw Wooyoung like that; but then, what did he even know about them?
He never let himself be close enough to them to hear their personal stories or anything like that. As he struggled with his own problems; to be exact, he doesn’t want to hear about it.
Hongjoong shut his eyes tight as he turned his head away, not looking at Wooyoung’s infuriated expression. He could see Seonghwa approached them and grabbed Wooyoung’s hand and shook his head.
“Stop Wooyoung,” he said gently, which made him almost miss it.
Yeosang watched and heard their exchanges, he waited for them to say something. He needs to hear it, if it is true. Even if he knows, it doesn’t change anything.
Wooyoung reluctantly pulled his hand back and let Seonghwa take care of what the leader was supposed to do. He glared at Hongjoong, but Hongjoong looked away as if he physically couldn’t bring himself to say what he needed to say.
The doctor took a deep breath, he shuddered as he exhaled and then looked at Yeosang; the expression that was etched on his face could only be seen as apologetic.
He doesn’t understand Seonghwa's expression, but he’ll hear him out.
“We did do something,” he paused as if he was bracing himself, “at the time, we almost could save your older sister,”
With a grimace Seonghwa continued his sentence, “but we couldn’t,” his voice was weak at this point, he lowered his head as if showing how regrettable he was.
“We couldn’t, when we saw her, she’s already laying on the ground.”
“What did you mean by that?” his voice was dangerously low, as he tightened his grip on the hilt of his knife.
“She’s bleeding to her death,”
He froze on where he was standing, he couldn’t believe his ears, “Bleeding?”
“Yes, it seems she was tortured with how many bruises on her body, she cut her wrist herself with the knife near her.”
Yeosang feels his already falling apart world become even more ruined than it already was. Taeyong lied to him, he lied to him about his sister’s well-being. His sister probably died even earlier than he ever imagined.
“Her body.”
“We couldn’t bring her out of that place, as Neo’s goons almost discovered us.”
Yeosang could feel himself weak on his knees, as his sister’s body was still in that place. But at least, his sister doesn’t need to carry on the tortures that were probably happening to her daily.
“In the end, she’s dead.” He muttered to himself.
He pulled back the knife away from their directions. He could see their relieved expression as he retracted the knife, but their expression morphed into panic as he stabbed himself right in the position where he stabbed San that night.
He groaned from the pain and let himself fall onto the ground, still with the knife embedded on his abdomen. He doesn’t care what comes next, though he feels a little bit sorry for dirtying the place with his blood.
“Yeosang!”
His name was shouted by the Outlaws’ members.
He closed his eyes as he felt his strength seeping out of him, as blood dampened his clothes; probably staining it deep red. He could feel someone’s hand tapping him on the cheek, he opened his eyes sluggishly.
It was San.
The man that he stabbed a few nights ago.
It feels weird to see San this close, more so as he saw worry and tears trailing down his face. It looks weird to him, but he smiled anyway. He used up his entire strength to put his red-stained hand on San’s cheek.
“I’m sorry San, sor—ry for stab—bbing you.” He slurred out as his eyes slowly unfocused.
“No, no, no, save your strength, we could save you!”
“No, I don’ wann’ you to,”
“Please! Hyung, quickly! We’re losing him!”
Everything abruptly sounds like he had his head underwater with how muffled their voice, he closed his eyes as he felt his strength seeping out entirely.
It seems that death was in front of him.
He doesn’t regret dying right now, it was his decision. The only thing he regretted was meeting Neo’s leader; Taeyong. As everything went down quickly, leaving him without any choices. Between doing what Taeyong wanted or his sister being tortured for his disobedience; he chooses to do what Taeyong wanted.
If only he met the Outlaws’ earlier, perhaps he wouldn’t be this unfortunate.
Perhaps in the next life, he could be with them.
No, he hoped there’s no next. This time was enough.