Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Right, so do you need to put handcuffs on me or can I just get in the police car?”

Morgan smiled guilelessly at her, and Diego frowned.

“What do you mean, ‘tax benefits’?” she asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Morgan.

“No,” said Alex, “No, no, no. We’re definitely worrying about this.”

Diego squinted at both of them. “Tax benefits,” she repeated.

“Yeah,” said Alex. They looked back at Morgan. “So why aren’t you using them?”

“It wasn’t as beneficial as I thought it’d be,” said Morgan defensively.

“Hang on,” said Diego.

“Besides, it’s not like that was the only reason,” said Morgan.

“But it was the main reason.”

“Wait,” Diego tried again.

“And our tax benefits are great!” Alex continued, “Like, I’m unemployed — I pulled you like two brackets down!”

“What, so I’m just not allowed to commit tax evasion, now?”

“Of course you’re allowed to! I just don’t get why you proposed if you were gonna stop paying taxes after 3 months anyways!”

Diego glanced at the rest of her team.

What? mouthed Steel Lady.

Diego just shrugged at her helplessly.

Without warning, Morgan turned to Diego and held out their wrists. Muscle memory kicked in and she snapped the handcuffs on without thinking about it.

“Look, Alex, I’m kinda being arrested right now, so maybe we can talk about this another time?” Morgan said.

“I think right now is a better time, honestly,” said Alex. “Maybe you could just do a quick explanation and then finish getting arrested afterwards?”

“Tax benefits?” Diego asked again.

Morgan nodded. “Yep. Alex and I got married for tax benefits. Sorry for not telling you, but that’s all there is to it. Can we go, now?”

“Except clearly we didn’t,” said Alex.

“Oh, my god,” Morgan moaned, “Please just arrest me.”

Diego hesitated. She wanted to press the whole tax benefits thing more, but she did technically have a job to be doing. A job she'd assigned herself for no reason, but a job nonetheless. And three teammates watching her to make sure she did it properly.

She straightened and grabbed Morgan’s upper arm.

“Morgan Sterling, you’re under arrest for tax evasion. I wish to give you the following warning. You need not—”

“Hang on, you’re actually just gonna arrest them?” Alex interrupted.

Diego broke off. “They did break they the law,” she said. She turned back to Morgan. “You need not say anything. You have nothing to hope fr—”

“I still don’t know why they married me!” Alex cut her off again.

“For tax reasons!” Morgan insisted.

“That you’re not even using!”

Diego waited for a moment before continuing. “You have nothing to hope from any promise or favor—”

“Why would you lie about tax reasons?” Alex demanded.

“I’m sorry, can I finish?” asked Diego.

“No,” said Alex.

Morgan stared furiously at the ceiling. The tips of their ears were red.

Diego glanced back at the other Chastisers, standing uncertainly near the front door. She shot them an uncomfortable smile. Nobody returned it. She turned back to Morgan.

“Diego, can you guys leave for a moment?” Morgan asked evenly.

“I am fully in the middle of arresting you.”

“Okay, but just, like, twenty minutes,” said Morgan. “Please?”

Diego wavered. Alex’s hands were tapping against their legs in either impatience or distress (Diego was inclined to assume the former) and Morgan was still staring resolutely at the ceiling.

…She should arrest them. But on the other hand, it wasn't like Morgan wouldn't escape anyways, and there was clearly something that needed to be discussed here.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I,” she said flatly. 

“Not really,” agreed Alex.

Diego sighed. “I just— tax benefits?” 

“Would you please just get out?” snapped Morgan.

Diego rolled her eyes but ushered the rest of the Chastisers out the door. It shut behind them with a heavy thunk, and Diego heard the clacks of multiple locks sliding into place at once.

“What was that about?” asked Steel Lady under her breath.

Diego pulled a face. “Tax benefits, apparently.”