Chapter Text
Vegeta felt weird.
He re-focused his mind, inhaling quickly before letting go of another blast to knock out yet another drone. The red lights illuminated him in the darkness, max gravity weighing into his shoulders. Leaping to the side to dodge another bot’s attack, he tried again to forget the feeling that sat in the back of his mind.
Discomfort. Just beneath his skin was discomfort, seeping into his flesh, left with nowhere else to go but further in. The energy licked at his muscles, held onto his joints, left him paralyzed with a need for stimulation.
Most nights, he trained. He pushed himself to the brink of exhaustion, waiting for the lightning in his veins to leave. Yet every time he came back to reality, it seemed to feel even worse. Even more desperate. Sleep was a void that momentarily stole him away before transporting him back to the world that seemed more like a dream.
He was training on autopilot.
Ceasing his offense, Vegeta clicked the button to deactivate the training bots and various other settings of the room. He stood silently at the control panel for a moment before stumbling to a corner of the room, feeling light as air. Usually, returning to normal gravity made him feel lively and agile. Today, however, was another exception. A lot of exceptions have been happening lately.
Sinking to the floor, he closed his eyes and reflected upon his thoughts. Right now, in the minutes right after training, were the only times Vegeta could truly process anything he was feeling. Exhaustion stripped away the barriers in his mind, and he could see the truth of his problems without a filter.
He flexed his shoulders and back as the past year crashed into his brain.
Three years. Three whole years since Buu’s defeat. The first few months had been nice. Bulma and the rest of the Z-fighters had celebrated their return to normalcy. Kakarot spent some time training with Uub, and an even greater portion of his time sparring with Vegeta. Capsule Corp was a lively place, often occupied by each of the Z Fighters at some point or another. He himself received congratulations and thanks from others for his sacrifice and assistance in the fight, despite being somewhat responsible for Buu’s resurrection. He was truly accepted by everyone as a hero.
Vegeta wasn’t evil. Being revived by Porunga proved as much. Surprisingly, Vegeta found it easy to accept this. While he may revel in the glory of victory over an enemy, he was not one to take satisfaction from the suffering of the innocent. Especially now, with a life built for himself on Earth, Vegeta knew that he was no longer just fighting for his own enjoyment. In fact, battling for the protection of those he cared about filled him with honor.
No, it wasn’t the first year after Buu that left him feeling… off.
After the first anniversary of their triumph, things died down a little. A sense of peace came over the Earth, and everyone settled into their own routine without fear of enemies on the horizon. One-by-one, each warrior slowly pulled away from intense training, no longer seeing the need to overextend their abilities.
For Vegeta, this changed nothing. He still trained as hard as ever, the desire to push past his own limits ever present even in periods of tranquility. Goku, who was similarly restless, still met with him to spar at least once a week, sometimes more if he wasn’t tied down with family obligations. These sessions provided some reprieve from the monotony that plagued the universe, but such medicine could only work for so long. Now, even in their fights, adrenaline failed him. It was like he intrinsically knew, knew that there was no point. Knew that no matter how many punches the idiot threw, he would never truly… die.
Vegeta threw his head back against the wall of the gravity room, hoping for some stimulation in his brain.
No such luck.
The buzzing under his skin returned, and Vegeta sighed before picking himself up and exiting the chamber. Mind cloudy, he managed to register the darkness of his surroundings, eyes easily adjusting to the night.
Wow… I guess I’ve been training longer than I thought.
He sensed for ki signatures from the compound, and noted that everyone seemed to be asleep. Even Bulma, who tended to stay up late working on her latest inventions, had turned in. It was like the entire world was dead.
“What else is new.” He snorted to himself, a sardonic smirk on his face.
Entering the building, he wandered down the halls to his private shower. Even before Buu, he and Bulma had decided to sleep in separate rooms due to a large difference in schedules and… interests. And in recent months, they had decided to give each other space altogether. Vegeta was quite happy with the arrangement. If he had to spend every waking moment with her, however amicable they were, he would probably be driven out of his mind. Sure, he still cared for her deeply. After all, they shared children together. But Vegeta was never one to enjoy sharing his life entirely with another being, and she was no exception. His passion for her had fizzled out just like every other aspect of his life.
Turning on the water, he stepped into the shower without even testing the temperature. Scalding hot water poured over his head, and as he stared at his feet, something kept nagging at him. He needed to… do something. But he couldn’t put his finger on what.
He let his thoughts drift off as he focused on the simple task of cleaning himself. It wasn’t long before he finished, stepping out to grab his towel and dry his hair, then his neck and shoulders, then his arms, torso, legs…
Exiting the bathroom, he sat down on the side of his bed, linens freshly washed and folded just like the last thousand fucking days. He slowly laid back, back coming into contact with the cool sheets as he stared at the ceiling.
I can’t fucking do this , he thought. He turned to his bedside clock. The time read 3:54 AM. The strange tingling sensation pushed at his ribcage, as if trying to poison the depths of his soul.
“I can’t fucking do this.”
Today was such a normal day. He woke up, spent time with his family, ate, and trained. Just a normal day. If he had to go through another normal day again…
The chemical discomfort overtook all other feelings in his body. He clenched and unclenched his fists, hoping to feel something real, but his uneasiness only grew. He needed contact, needed pain, needed someone to tear his skin off and take this infection away. He needed… Kakarot.
Fuck.
This was not the first time Vegeta had such thoughts, but never had he so strongly felt the need to act on them. Felt the impulse to find Kakarot, find the only person he knew who had any power over him, and drag him off to some distant planet and beat the everloving shit out of him. Or get his own shit kicked in. Which was an interesting desire, considering his other feelings towards the man. But hey, he could do both at once, couldn’t he? ‘Hey idiot, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, let’s kill each other’. Yeah, that would definitely work. It might just get him to snap out of whatever dysfunctional state he was living in.
That sounded great, actually. Maybe if he mentally and physically ripped his heart and soul out of his body, whatever this thing is that’s trapped inside him would go away.
He grimaced, bringing his hands up to massage his temples. Normally he would scoff at himself, go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and forget this all happened. But the buzzing wouldn’t let him. Right now, in the middle of the night, lying on his bed, Vegeta was living some kind of paramount. A critical event. And he wasn’t going to turn away.
He needs to take the edge off. If he’s really going to do this…
Am I really going to do this?
But the idea of repeating this day again, repeating it until the end of time filled him with enough horror that he could explode. That’s all this feeling was. Lighter fluid collecting in his veins, waiting for a spark. And the fire just might tear him apart.
In one fluid motion, Vegeta leapt from his bed, making his way towards the labs. Intrinsically, he knows that asking this of Kakarot would not be an easy task for his own mind.
Normal drugs don’t work on him.
He knows of a ki-supressing drug that Bulma made a long time ago in case Vegeta ever got out of control back when he first settled into Earth. Obviously, Vegeta had found this out on his own after a week or so. He certainly had not lost any of his wariness after being accepted into the Brief’s home. No, in his mind that simply made it all the more dangerous. He was in the lion’s den when it came to technology and poisons he couldn't conceive of. For the better part of a decade, he made frequent trips down to the lab, doing what he could to scout for any weapons that might be used against him. He honestly didn’t blame Bulma for making it; he understood more than anyone the importance of precaution.
There was also the truth serum. That would also come in handy.
Stumbling into the laboratory, Vegeta grabbed a few bottles and some leftover senzu beans, shoving them into his left pocket. Remembering what he had to do next, he rushed back up the stairs to his quarters, leaving the door open behind him in his rush.
He reached the nightstand and picked up his phone. It was like he knew, from the depths of his soul, that Kakarot would answer if he called him right now. Without an ounce of hesitation, he hit dial.
It wrung once, twice-
“Vegeta?”
Vegeta inhaled sharply, pulse jumping for a moment before he collected his words.
“Kakarot. Are you awake?”
“Well, yeah, ‘Geta. Aren’t I talkin’ to ya right now?”
“Let’s spar.”
“Now? It’s the middle of the night!” Goku sounded skeptical.
“You’re awake. I’m awake. Let’s spar.”
“Okay, if you say so. I mean, not that I’m complainin’, it’s just kinda weird-”
“I’ll meet you at our usual spot in 5 minutes.” Vegeta ended the call before powering off his phone and tossing it onto the center of his bed. He wouldn’t be needing it anytime soon.
After quickly surveying his room, he stepped out onto the balcony and took off, thoughts consumed with anticipation thrumming in his veins. He dared to hope his plan would work. And if not… Well, he would get a break from all this boredom either way. For the first time in three years, he looked forward to something.
He came to a stop in the middle of the barren desert, holding himself still. The night wind blew through his hair, and he let his eyes close as he waited.
Where the hell was Kakarot? He sensed for the other’s ki. It was only a mile away. Good.
“Hey Vegeta!” Goku waved, flying over to meet the other. “Sorry I’m a bit late, I had to find my… well, it doesn’t matter.” He laughed lightly, giving Vegeta a small smile. “Is there anything ya wanted to do, since ya called all urgent-like? Last time you said my dodging was a little slower compared to the rest of my movements, so I figured-”
“Kakarot, let’s go somewhere else.” Vegeta said calmly.
“Huh?” Goku cocked his head to the side. “But you told me to come here!”
“I mean another planet. I want to train there.”
“Oh, uh, okay.” Goku replied. “If we’re workin’ on something special, I can do that. Which one?”
“One far away. With as little life as possible, preferably.” Vegeta requested.
“Alright, I’ll do my best! Here, grab onto my hand.” He extended his palm to the other Saiyan, bringing his other hand up to his forehead for instant transmission.
Vegeta silently took his hand. In the blink of an eye, they found themselves in yet another dark, arid wasteland. It strongly resembled their initial meeting ground, just a bit warmer and with rocks more brown than the previous tan-orange.
“So, what did ya have in mind?” Goku asked.
“In a moment, Kakarot.” Vegeta said before retracting his hand and descending to the ground. Anticipation gnawed at him like acid.
Feet making contact with the dirt, Vegeta slowly retrieved the items he had stored in his clothing. Luckily, he had remembered to avoid taking anything that required needles.
“Here,” he said, tossing two small vials to the other. “I want you to take these first.”
“Is this som sort of medicine? What are they gonna do?”
“Just trust me and take them. I’ll explain in a second.” Vegeta quickly downed his own. Goku watched him for a moment with an unreadable gaze before doing the same.
Vegeta crossed his arms, posture straight as he watched the other. Goku copied this stance as well.
After a moment, Goku furrowed his eyebrows. Vegeta watched as he tried – and failed – to raise his energy level. Then, with increasing alarm, he tried to levitate off the ground, but to no avail.
Giving up, he raised his eyes to meet Vegeta’s.
“‘Geta… what exactly did you do?”
Vegeta closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, before exhaling to meet the other’s uncertain gaze.
No going back now.
“I drugged us. I gave you a ki-suppressant Bulma made a while ago and a type of pentothal. In your words, they make you unable to use ki and unable to lie. I took the same thing. They’re going to last for quite a while, though I’m not sure exactly how long.”
“Wha- Vegeta- I don’t understand. Why would you do this?” Goku asked helplessly.
“Because I have things I need to say. And I wouldn’t be able to tell you if I had the option to run away or deny it.”
“And ya had to give me that stuff too!? ‘Geta, you know you can tell me anything! We’ve been friends for years, and you still felt the need to take us to a whole ‘nother planet to talk to me? I don’t understand!”
“Kakarot, are you bored?”
“Huh?”
“I know you feel restless after three years of no worthy enemies. Any Saiyan would. You and I, we need an opponent to fight. We need excitement to thrive. We need stakes.”
Goku shifted anxiously on his feet.
“Well, I guess ya could say that.” He laughed nervously. “It has been a while since we’ve had to go all out in a fight. I guess I do miss it, ya know? Since we’re bein’ honest and all, I kinda miss you too. I mean- It feels like it’s been years since I’ve seen you lose your cool. That used to be one of my favorite things about ya when we fought, but now…” He trailed off.
Vegeta nodded, flushing slightly at Goku’s admission.
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. In fact, I’ve wanted to do this for over a year now. We’re the only two people in this universe that have so much power, and it’s unnatural to go so long without using it. And sure, we do spar a lot, but we both know that there’s never any real danger when we fight.”
“If ya want us to fight and go all out, I get why you wanted to go to another planet. But why did ya give us those potion things?” Goku asked.
“As I said,” Vegeta replied, “There are things I need to tell you too.”
“Well, what is it?” Goku asked.
“I- I want to… I want to be with you .” He clenched his teeth. “As much as we are rivals – and friends, even though I don’t profess it in my normal state – I am also… attracted to you.”
Goku blinked, tongue skirting his lips absentmindedly as he processed Vegeta’s confession.
“Ya mean like Chi-Chi used to with me? And you an’ Bulma?”
“Yes, Kakarot, that is how I feel.” Vegeta confirmed. Every bone in his body screamed at him to run, run away, but he refused to back down now. He would face whatever happened.
“Well, that makes me really happy!” Goku chirped, face breaking out in a grin.
Now it was Vegeta’s turn to be speechless.
“You- it does?” He could hardly believe his own ears.
“Yup! Now that I think about it, that sounds really nice. I mean, I don’t understand a lot of the ‘romance’ stuff or whatever that Chi-Chi wanted to do, but all the other stuff was good. And I’d for sure like to do that with you! We’re already close, bein’ ‘the last of our kind’ an’ all. And I really care about you!”
Vegeta felt like his heart was going to burst.
“What about…” he considered the best way to phrase what he was about to ask. “What about- sexual acts?”
“Like stuff in bed?”
“Yes.”
“Uh, I don’t know… I only really did it a few times before. But I’ve thought about doin’ some of that with you before… and, I think I would like it. Like, really like it.”
Vegeta bit his lip. It was almost too good to be true.
But even that wasn’t the extent of what he truly needed.
“Kakarot, I’m going to ask you this, and I’m only going to ask it once. If you don’t want to, we can wait here for the medicine to wear off and we can go back to Earth without doing anything here. But if you do, well… It might just be the solution to our problems. Might take care of the need to fight like our lives depend on it.” Vegeta tapped his foot against the ground impatiently, nervously.
“Sure Vegeta, anything.” The other Saiyan said.
“I want to destroy you. And I want you to destroy me.”