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Chapter Text

Ran sighed and patted Yohji's hand away from his bowtie. "Will you stop? Anyone would think you were the one getting married."

Yohji grimaced at him. "It doesn't feel straight, Ran."

"Yohji, it's perfect. It's the world's most exquisitely tied, most beautifully positioned bow tie, and Ken and Louise will no doubt faint with delight when they see it," Schuldig said dryly, "but Omi will shoot you and me and Ran if we don't get our collective," and then he paused and deliberately checked out his lovers' butts, "and stunning arses into the car and over the Botanic Gardens now."

Ran took the initiative and the arms of his two companions. "Now. We're going now. Schuldig, if he moves his hands above his waist between now and when the photos are finished, you are to take whatever measures you deem necessary to stop him." He added one of his stronger glares at Yohji to emphasise the point. "If he has to fry your brain so you sit still for the next two hours, I'm not going to stop him, do you understand?"

Yohji let himself be pulled along. "You guys are so damn mean to me," he pouted.

"Liebling, do you think KenKen had any idea what he was doing to us when he asked the vainest man on the planet to be his best man?"

"I'm not vain." Ran and Schuldig both stopped and looked at Yohji with disbelief on their faces. "I'm...worth the effort."

Schuldig laughed and Ran smiled, as much at seeing him amused as at Yohji's silliness. Yohji wasn't as vain as he played it, but it was a long-standing joke. But they were on the cusp of being late and Schuldig was right about one thing – Omi would shoot them if they were. Their leader had taken the entire arrangement of this almost miraculous wedding on his slim and deceptively young shoulders and had been severely stressed about it for weeks when he wasn't stressed about more unpleasant manners. Even Ran had begun to be uncharacteristically sensitive and diplomatic around Homura-san lately. Yohji had taken to hiding in the roof garden when he knew Omi was in the building. Schuldig found it all very amusing and had been helping Omi not toexplode too often or too severely. But that wouldn't save them if they didn't arrive at the venue beforethe bride.

The end of winter weather was dry and warm, even though the locals were rugged up in coats and complaining about the 'freezing' weather – actually a pleasant twenty degrees Celsius, which meant the white suits Omi had insisted on were comfortable to wear. The early Saturday morning traffic was light, and Ran found a parking space near the old Botanic Gardens easily enough. Then it was a short walk across neat lawns and among tropical trees to the Royal Palm Lawn where chairs and a lightweight marquee had been set up. There were over a dozen people already there – a couple of early guests, the musicians, someone playing around with the sound system, someone Ran guessed was probably the marriage celebrant and others that he had no clue about. And of course, Omi was there, pacing. "There you are!" he snapped, stalking over to them.

"And good morning to you, Miez," Schuldig said, utterly unfazed by his boss' apparent grumpiness. "This all looks lovely, Omi. Is the café set up?"

"I've just been supervising the flowers. Yohji, do you have the rings?" Omi grimly checked the small jeweller's box Yohji obediently drew from his pocket. "Ran, guard them and Yohji with your life. Yohji, lose them and you better have your escape route planned."

"Omittchi," Yohji said gently, surprising his friend with a strong hug, an embrace Omi was too startled to evade. "Calm down, kiddo," he said firmly but kindly. "I won't lose the rings, and it all looks great. Now you can relax and enjoy it. You know that's what Ken and Louise would want. Right, Ran, Schu?"

Ran took that as a hint to come closer, as did Schuldig. "Yes, Omi. The mission plan is well-made, and the execution has started. Now as mission leader, Bombay, I order you to... to have fun."

Schuldig raised an eyebrow at his formal words, but then he grinned. "Yeah, kitten. Now we've got a few minutes. Come with me to the café, show me the flowers and find me something to drink. I always cry at weddings."

Omi gave him a sceptical look around Yohji's embrace. "Perhaps that's because you always drink."

"Perhaps it's because they never let me drink. Come on. Uncle Schu prescribes a whisky." Omi pulled a face. "Now, now, don't knock it until you try it. Yotan, let him go."

Ran watched Schuldig drag Omi away, and then he sighed. "Oh boy," Yohji said. "I'm beginning to hope Omi never gets married if he's like this when one of us get hitched. " He leaned over, and with a quick look to see who was watching, stole a kiss.

Ran allowed it, but then backed away. "Yohji," he warned. He could see guests beginning to drift over. "Shouldn't Ken be here?"

"He and Louise are coming together with the family cars. They decided to hell with tradition – it was more hassle than it was worth for them to arrive separately." Yohji checked his watch. "Still got a few minutes. I still can't believe Ken is getting married."

"I can't see why not. It's a perfectly ordinary event."

"Yeah. But Ken... I guess I never thought any of us would."

"That's true for a lot of things about our lives now, Yohji." Ran said, and Yohji grinned knowingly. By unspoken consent, they began to walk slowly over to the main area, to the rows of chairs. Peter Nguyen and one of Louise's two brothers were acting as ushers. According to Louise, Ran, Schuldig and Yohji's role was to stop her fiancé running away. Ken told her he thought that was excessive. Her response had been to ask the three of them to bring their guns too.

Actually, they all were wearing their guns in their completely serious role acting as part of the security, although only in a minor capacity. Schuldig and Omi had vetted Louise and her family thoroughly, and most of the guests on Ken's side were security force operatives – but there was no doubting that they would be a tasty target for anyone wanting to cripple the Australian response to Estet. Ran knew that even while Schuldig and Omi were in the café, they would be scanning the minds of the arriving guests, even as he and Yohji were scanning them visually, and there were a number of discreetly placed security officers around the perimeter of the Royal Palm Lawn, ready to prevent any uninvited visitors from approaching. Omi had seriously considering holding the wedding indoors, or at least with everyone wearing bullet-proof vests, until Ken and Louise had sat on him and told him that if Estet really wanted to kill people, all it would take would be a well-placed bomb. It wasn't a theoretical risk – but neither Ken nor Louise wanted their day ruined by paranoia. They accepted a level of risk as a given.

It was a view Ran agreed with and approved of. Ken's woman was as fearless as he was – and as she was now part of Weiss, she had every right to make her views felt. Her acceptance in the team, and at Ken's side had been a slow, painstaking process of negotiations. Ken had asked Omi's approval to marry before he'd asked Louise.

It was by no means an easy decision for Omi – and not one his father had ever thought to have to make, Ran knew. Takatori Shuuichi had no doubt counted on all of them dying young, and the possibility of them marrying, of having children and families, ties, had not been part of his calculations, nor of the members of Weiss themselves. But Omi was determined that they all would have a different future – stability, homes, love and lives outside of their jobs. But along with this had to go the safety of the whole team. The answer, it was decided, was to bring Louise right into Weiss, to perform the now needed role of coordinator, which would then free Ken to manage the increasing and ever complex flow of intelligence. And like Ken, Louise would live and work wherever Weiss was based.

It was still a risk. The possibility of divorce was discussed with both of them, and it was spelled out that Louise could never leave Weiss while it still operated. Ken understood that should she try, Schuldig would be forced to take steps to minimise the risk. He wasn't thrilled about it, but he knew as well as any of them what was at stake.

Only after all this, was Louise told the (slightly edited) truth about Weiss, about Schuldig and Omi, and what they were facing. And only after that, did Omi ask Ken's permission to be the one to plan the wedding. It had taken several months to get them to the point where they were all nervously waiting for the bride and groom to arrive, and where Ran was on the verge of stapling Yohji's sleeves to his side to stop him playing with that damned bowtie of his.

The guests were now arriving in numbers, and Ran saw Captain Jensen and two of their regular Australian team striding across the lawn. Ran nodded politely at them. "Are we early, Midoru?" Jensen drawled as he came close. Yohji had managed to drift away before Jensen got to where Ran was standing

"No, just on time, Captain. Omi is just coming over." And indeed he was. Schuldig was grinning broadly, and Omi looked a little more relaxed. The slight flush to his cheeks indicated that either Schuldig had been making him laugh, or had forcefed him some alcohol.

He felt a little tickle in his head. [Booze, Ran. It was either that or knock him out.]

[Understood.] Ran now had enough experience of Schuldig's mental conversations that he knew he hadn't betrayed in the least that he had been talking to his lover, and he smiled at Omi. "We should get ready to meet the cars."

"Yes, you're right, Ran. Good morning, Captain. Thank you for coming."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Homura. Never thought I'd see the day myself."

Ran resisted frowning at the man, but Schuldig stuck his tongue out at Jensen's back, which meant Ran frowned at him instead. "Well, Omi? They'll be here any minute."

"Captain, Lieutenant Nguyen will show you your places. I have to go now."

Jensen waved him off and Omi led the way – just the slightest bit unsteadily. [How much did you give him?] Ran asked, slightly worried. Omi had little tolerance for alcohol. His eyes widened as Schuldig measured three centimetres between thumb and forefinger. [It's a wonder he can stand up!]

[Nein, he'll be just mellow enough not to pass out during the ceremony. Trust me, sweetheart.]

Now, Ran wouldn't completely put it past Schu to get Omi drunk as a joke, but it was Omi, and Schu knew how important this was all to them. He just hoped he'd judged it right, because it was too damn late now.

Yohji had been watching them, and as Jensen went to find his seat, he delurked from behind a large bouquet and came to join them. "We better get to the road, Omi. Wouldn't want them to turn up with no one to meet them."

Omi glared owlishly at Yohji, no doubt for the impertinence of assuming Omi wasn't aware of the situation, and Yohji looked enquiringly at Ran, who stared blandly back. He wouldn't embarrass Omi by drawing attention to his condition, and he would have to trust Schuldig to keep Bombay under control. He was in charge of this part of the operation, and right on cue, his cell phone rang. He answered it, and passed on the message. "They're five minutes away. Let's move."

They walked briskly across the park, and Ran couldn't help feeling some satisfaction at them all being together on this day, working as a team, and for once, for the happiest of reasons. Sure, Ken wouldn't work in the field with them again, but he was still an integral part of Weiss, and as they always had done, each of them was doing what they did best. Yohji, Ran knew, would watch to see that no one in the party was left out or behind. Omi and Schuldig would be keeping a visual and mental eye out for problems and dangers. And Ran would lead them, shepherd them, get them in and safely out. That was his job.

Omi was muttering into the small comm unit he'd insisted on wearing. Ran ignored him – he'd be told if there was a problem. Right now, he was searching the street for signs of the bridal party... ah, this was them now. Omi had arranged three Rolls Royces, he'd told them, and now these were pulling up to the entrance. Ran told Schuldig and Omi to attend to the first car which held the bridesmaids, he would go to the second, which carried Ken and Louise's mother, while Yohji was to greet Louise and her father, last of all.

The bridesmaids were disembarked in an alarming flurry of chiffon and flowers, but soon resolved into two pretty women dressed in not too shockingly elaborate pale green dresses. Schuldig and Omi flanked them as they waited for the other cars.

And here was Ken, finally, dressed also in white, and looking pale but pleased. Ran helped Louise's mother from the vehicle and Yohji came to wait with her, and then Ran could help Ken transfer into the wheelchair already removed from the boot by the chauffeur.

Ken looked at the assembled members of Weiss. "Whose idea were the white suits again?"

"Omi's," Ran muttered. He didn't like to wear suits to begin with, and white was too conspicuous for his taste, although he allowed that for an event on a bright sunny morning, black suits would have looked dreadful.

"Huh. It just makes me think that we're all getting married. Maybe you and Yohji and Schu...."

"Don't even think about it, Hidaka," Ran warned in a low voice. He'd had enough wedding comments to last him a lifetime. "We better get over to the venue. Mrs Palmer?"

Yohji handed Louise's mother off to him, and Omi joined them for the walk back to the wedding area. Ran couldn't tell who was more nervous now. Possibly Omi, despite the alcohol, Ran thought as he walked sedately with Mrs Palmer's arm through his. "Has everyone arrived?" she asked.

Omi touched his comm, asked a question, and answered, "Yes. Everyone's there now."

Mrs Palmer's eyes widened. "Never seen someone use a walkie talkie at a wedding before."

Omi blushed to the roots of his hair. "Oh?" Ran said calmly. "It's very common in Japan," he lied. "I think it's efficient."

"I'm sure it is, Ran. My, isn't this beautiful," she sighed. "Lou will be so pleased. You've done a lovely job there, Omi."

"Thank you, Mrs Palmer," Omi said, still blushing.

Ken grinned. "Ran, Yohji's...?"

"Got the rings, yes," Ran said with thinly concealed impatience. The amount of irritation those two slim bits of gold had caused over the last week had been truly astonishing.

He'd never actually attended a wedding before, although they'd done flowers for some smaller ones back in Kyoto. Privately he was rather glad his living arrangements meant he would personally never be subjected to one, if the stress and aggravation this modest affair was causing was anything to go by. Neither Ken nor Louise had been inclined to invite a huge number of people, but she came from a family with married siblings, and there were the inevitable best friends to act their roles in the wedding, Ken had a surprisingly large circle of friends who were close enough to need inviting. If Ran, the gods forbid, ever did get married, he knew perfectly well his invitees would consist of Weiss and them alone. It was how he liked it. He preferred his intimates to be... well, intimate.

Omi indicated where Mrs Palmer was to sit, and then he went to speak to the celebrant. Ken and Ran took their places near the podium. "No second thoughts?" Ran asked.

"Not about Louise, no. About all this... did you ever think you'd get married, Ran?"

"Once. A long time ago. Not any more. But I think it will suit you."

Ken grinned again. "You know, I think it will."

Then the string quartet struck up and it was time. Ran turned to watch the bridal party approach. Yohji and Schuldig were at the back of the bridesmaids, walking behind Louise who was on the arm of her father, but as the group neared the chairs, Yohji and Schuldig moved around and came up the outside the chairs to join Ran and Ken at the front. Yohji held out his hand to Ken. "Okay, kid, it's too late now. You know what your girl said she'd do if you ran out on her now."

"I'm not running anywhere, Yotan. Let's do this."

Ran, Schuldig and Omi moved back and sat on the chairs in the front row. Yohji stood with Ken and waited for the bride to approach.

Ran approved of Louise's outfit – a simple, off the shoulder dress in palest ivory which would let her run easily if there was an attack – and the discreet jewelled clips which was the only adornment in her short dark hair. He already knew he would have no problem with her bouquet – after all, he and Yohji made it themselves as a gift to the bride. He noted with satisfaction that it looked perfect against her clothes and in the setting, as well as not being so large as to pose a hazard.

Even from behind, he could sense the nerves of his lover and his friend, and even now, Yohji's arm was twitching as if he was still thinking about his damn tie. Ran had been both amused and bemused by Yohji's attitude to the whole business of being best man. It had been logical for Ken to ask Yohji, he felt. Ken had known Yohji longer than anyone except Omi, Yohji was the oldest of all of them, and Ran personally felt that Yohji was one of the biggest reasons that Ken was here today, able to take this step that all of them would have once thought impossible. But Yohji had fretted that it should have been Omi, or Ran, and that he'd been a bad friend to Ken in the past, until Ken had firmly told him to shut up if Yohji didn't want to insult his intelligence and taste.

Once that had been settled, Yohji had been worried about screwing up the duties of best man, and about his speech. Schuldig had declared if he had to listen to Yohji rehearse it one more time, he was going to drop both speech and speech maker into the Brisbane river. After that, Yohji had done his rehearsing up on the roof.

The ceremony was surprisingly brief. Considering the preparations, Ran had expected something a little more elaborate, but the vows were exchanged in a matter of minutes, and almost as soon as it had begun, the rings were finally safely secured to the fingers of bride and groom, and Ken was being invited to kiss his new wife.

The assembled guests applauded as the new couple embraced and Yohji whooped. Omi had a huge grin on his face, and was noticeably much less tense than he'd been before the ceremony. They had to wait just another few moments while the official registers were signed, and then Ken and Louise were back with them, smiling broadly. "Well done, darling," Yohji said to Louise, taking her hand and kissing her chastely on the cheek.

When he was done, Ran stepped up. "Congratulations, Mrs Saki," he said formally, then took her hand and kissed it.

"Thanks, Ran," she said. "Come here, Omi," she insisted, and when he came close, bestowed a kiss on his flushed cheek. "Thank you guys so much for this."

Ran saw Schuldig go over, and assumed he was also going to kiss the bride. But no, his flame-haired lover suddenly bent over and kissed Ken firmly on the lips. "Good going, KenKen."

Ken stared at Schuldig in astonishment. Louise burst out laughing. Ran checked to see Schuldig's impulsive action had not scandalised the other guests, but couldn't help a smile. Yohji laughed too. "Too late, Schu, he's taken now," Yohji joked.

"You bet," Ken said, wiping his face with his handkerchief, but now he was grinning. "Sorry, Schu, close but no cigar. She kisses better than you."

"Is that right?" Schuldig said, an evil sparkle in his eye, before he dipped a startled Louise and pretended to smooch her. "Ah, Schatzi, if only you'd listened to me, we could have been so happy together."

She pushed him away. "Nope, sorry. He kisses better than you, too. Yohji, take him away before someone shoots him."

Yohji tugged on Schuldig's arm and Ran helped drag him away. "We can't take you anywhere," Yohji scolded Schuldig who was unrepentant.

"I promised myself I would kiss that boy one day, and now I have." He sniffed dramatically. "And now I can cry. I always cry at weddings."

"And how many of those have you been to?" Ran said, still watchful that his prankster lover did not commit some other egregious joke in front of Louise's – and now Ken's – family.

"Including this? Um, let’s see... that would be one."

Yohji smacked Schuldig's arm. "You fake! You said that you knew all about weddings!"

"I do. I just haven't been to one before. Why, Yohji, want to give it a whirl yourself one of these days?"

"With you? Never?" Yohji retorted, before walking back over to Ken's side to help him with the meeting and greeting of the guests.

It was only a joke, but Ran saw a brief shadow pass over Schuldig's face before he brightened and turned to him. "Well, Liebling, now we can get drunk, right?"

"Not until we've had the photos." Ran straightened Schuldig's already perfectly straight tie, just as an excuse to put his hands on him. "So, how does Ken kiss?"

Schuldig pretended to adjust Ran's boutonnière. "Let's just say, I'm not tempted to wander off from you just yet, sweetheart. So, where do we go to get these damn photos done? I need a drink."

The delay was longer than the wedding ceremony itself, but twenty minutes later they were assembled under shady fig trees for a seemingly endless series of portraits in countless combinations. Ran reflected that he'd had more photos taken in the last year and a half than he'd had in any of the previous four, and almost as many as he'd had in his entire life before that. Once he'd only had a couple of worn photographs, one of his sister, one of Weiss before the fall of Kritiker, to adorn his dresser. Now it was crowded with images of him, him with Yohji, him with the others, holding koalas, dressed to go out to a play with Yohji and Schuldig, on beaches, and at football matches. All signs of a full and happy life he'd never even begun to hope for, let alone imagine. And now this day would be added to those memories.

There would always be a few dark clouds, of course. That Ken could not rise to stand by his lovely wife was always going to be a source of regret, and he had talked with Ran several times about how he would cope with the children that he and Louise were both desperate to have. Beyond that, was Estet, looming over them, the threat to all their lives and those of the people of the country they lived in, and many others, never to be negated. But for all that, there were many compensations. Life was not perfect for any of them – but it was good nonetheless.

As Ran and Omi took their places for a foursome with Ken and Louise for a series of shots, Ran saw Schuldig and Yohji, their role in proceedings almost done, talking quietly by themselves off to the side. He regretted the hurt Yohji had given Schuldig quite unintentionally before, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Ran had long since ceased to distinguish between the love he felt for Yohji and that which he felt for Schuldig. Now he felt it was like having two brothers, different people with different tastes, strengths and appeal, but both equally dear and important to him, neither of whom could be given up without the deepest pain. But Yohji continued to equivocate. For him, Ran was his only one true love. Schuldig was always the junior.

Schuldig never spoke about the distinction that Yohji made, never even joked about it, which was an indication of how much it affected him. Ran regretted very much that there was this ever-present flaw in their relationship, but he felt helpless to change it. It had to come from Yohji. And that, he felt, would never happen.

"Smile, Mr Midoru, if you please," the photographer said, and Ran forced himself to do so. It was pointless to fret, as Schuldig would be the first person to tell him. And now Yohji was touching Schuldig's arm affectionately, a warm expression on his face, clearly happy to be with his lover. Schuldig was responding to that, and seemed perfectly cheerful. Yes, it was just foolish to worry about such things, especially on a day like today.

Ken just couldn’t stop smiling. He hadn't really believed that being married would feel any different from how it had been living with Louise as he had been for the past two months, but it did. He felt as if he was helium-filled – an enormous weight had lifted from his shoulders and all he wanted to do was shout out his happiness at having the woman he loved with him forever. And from Louise's grin, he could tell she felt the same.

It had helped that Omi had, for reasons best known to himself, insisted on taking on the lion's share of the organisation. Ken would have been happy to have snuck off to a registry office and got married one morning without all this fuss, and so would Louise if it weren't for her family. Still, he was proud of her, proud of being married to her, and didn't particularly mind that they needed to make a public statement like this. It was just another kind of party once you got down to it.

He looked over and saw Ran, Yohji and Schuldig in a huddle about something. Gods, that damn Schuldig. Despite himself, he grinned about that stupid kiss. He'd been expecting something silly from one of them – maybe not that, but something. Fortunately, Louise knew them all well enough by now, and the intimate details of the relationship between Schuldig and the others, to know that Schuldig wasn't remotely serious.

"Right, folks, we're done. Congratulations and enjoy your reception," the photographer announced, to a massed sigh of relief.

Ken threw his arm around Louise's waist. "Now I want a kiss that's not for the camera."

"You're on," she said, grinning, and then proceeded to snog him quite thoroughly, smearing lipstick all over his lips as the final seal on the formal part of the wedding proceedings. Up to then, everyone, including Schuldig, having been excessively careful with her makeup. "Jenny, have you got a hanky?"

Her sister came over and helped her wipe her mouth carefully, and then his wife – oh gods, that was so weird to think! – wiped Ken's. "Good grief, Louise, couldn't you have waited until the reception was over?"

"Nope, I wanted to kiss my husband and who cares anyway?" Louise said cheerfully. "Where's Dad?"

"He and Mum are over in the café, and we're all going over now. You guys coming?"

"Right now, Jenny. Ran!" Ran waved and he and the others began to walk over to the café. "Catch you inside, sis."

Louise's sister walked away, her husband and their small son joining them. "Are you happy, Lou?" Ken asked.

"Completely. It's a wonderful day, I love you to bits, and Omi's done a great job. Everyone's having a ball. What about you?"

"All I care about is that you're finally mine, Mrs Saki."

"Palmer-Saki, thanks!" Louise corrected promptly. "Damn it, Ken, I've always wanted to be double-barrelled, don't take that away from me!"

"Sorry, hon. Shall we go?"

Omi had arranged a wedding breakfast – more an early lunch by the time everyone was seated in the café – that was mainly pastries and fruit and nibbles, great for eating while chatting. Yohji was at the same table as Ken and Louise and her parents – everyone else was at round tables scattered around the room. The buzz of conversation at times threatened to drown out the polite music of the quartet, but Ken couldn't have cared less. He was still half-expecting to wake up and find he'd been dreaming it all. Beside him, Louise was talking to her new fast friend. She and Yohji had hit it off immediately. She had responded to his automatic flirting with spirit, and once Yohji had discovered her spark – the same spark that had drawn Ken to her – the two of them were off and running. Yohji had confided to Ken that he liked feisty women with strong opinions, and while Ken suspected Louise rather intimidated Ran, Yohji adored her and she him. Ken had even been a little worried that Louise might prefer Yohji to him, but she had taken that bull by the horns and told him flat that Yohji was a lovely man but he'd make a lousy husband for her, even if she wasn't madly in love with Ken.

So Ken was glad his girlfriend was so well accepted by his best friend, and she by him. All of Weiss had worked to make her feel welcome on the team, and she had put her best foot forward, recognising that it was a difficult step for them. In that, Schuldig had been a surprising ally, explaining the dynamics as he saw them, and giving his own, slightly bitchy insights into the team, which Louise, highly amused, had passed back to Ken. So far, the experiment – and Omi admitted that was what it was – was working.

Yohji was tapping on his wine glass – ah, was it time for his speech? Ken supposed it was. The room fell silent, and Yohji rose to his feet. "Ah, thanks everyone. Please excuse my English. I'll speak slowly." In truth, Yohji's English was nearly as good as Ken's or Omi, but he was always slightly neurotic about it, and tended to stumble if he became the least self-conscious about it. He drew some folded papers out of his breast pocket, but to Ken's surprise, laid them on the table. "I had this speech all prepared and rehearsed – just ask my partners over there," – he nodded at Ran and Schuldig who grinned back at him, "then I thought, this is stupid. I don't need to rehearse telling you all how I feel about what's happening today. Ken... Ken's the most honest, most loyal man I know, and he's been a good friend, a good team mate for a long time now. The gods know how much we've been through together, and how hard it's been for him over the last few years. So you can imagine how much I wanted him to be happy. And then came our Louise." He smiled down at her. "I have to admit, I was a little worried about her at first. I mean, she's a hell of a woman, and our KenKen, well, he's pretty innocent...." The room erupted in laughter. "But they seemed to work things out, and when he told us he was getting married, there were probably only two people happier than me to hear it, and that was our lovely couple themselves."

Now Yohji turned to Ken. "I'll keep this brief because I know people are enjoying themselves. I just wanted to say to everyone that it's been an honour working with you, a pleasure having you as my friend, and I think you're married to the loveliest damn woman in Australia. You deserve her, and she deserves you. I now propose a toast to Ken and Louise." The assembly raised their glasses, the toast was made, another was raised to the bride's parents and Yohji sat down to loud applause, his face slightly flushed.

Louise leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Yohji."

"Yeah, Yotan. And it goes for me too – except for the bit about being married to Louise, of course."

Yohji grinned at them. "Just as well, or you know who you'd have to fight." His expression grew serious, and he added in a lower voice, "Ken... I feel bad... you could have been here years ago...."

Ken had been waiting for this to come up – it had been lurking as an issue ever since he'd been injured, ever since they'd come to Australia. "Yohji, if I'd come out then, you guys might be dead now. And I'd never have met Louise and I think that makes up for just about everything."

Louise was giving him a curious look but he'd explain it when they were safely on the flight to Cairns. Yohji only nodded. "Thank you, Ken. For what it's worth, I think you're right. I know things could be easier for you, but damn it, if there was a choice between you being whole-bodied and alone, or in that chair and living as you do now, I know which makes you happier."

Louise lost her smile a little at Yohji's blunt words – Ken would explain what Yohji was getting at later. "So, what were you planning to say?"

Yohji grinned, and shoved the abandoned speech at Ken. "There you go. It was very eloquent. Ran is going to murder me. He had to listen to it so often and then I ditched it."

"It was a lovely speech, Yohji," Louise said.

"Guess it's my turn now," Ken said, tapping his glass. "Thank you all for coming. I don't have much to add, except to agree with Yohji that I really have married the loveliest, kindest and most capable woman in Australia. I still can't believe she agreed to marry me. I said I'd promise to keep her guns clean if she did but...." The guests laughed. "Anyway, she's done it now. So please, may I give you my wife, Louise Palmer-Saki. To the bride, may I always make her as happy as I am today." There was a hearty 'hear, hear' from the assembly, and then applause. Ken noted with a grin that Louise looked delightfully embarrassed at the attention, which earned him an impassioned kiss from his bride.

There were a couple of speeches then, from Louise's father, and then from Louise herself, still pink-faced, thanking her maids and Omi for the organisation. After that, it was pretty informal. Yohji took his bowtie off and wandered over to Ran and Schu, his place at Louise's side taken by Omi who was pretty tiddly by now. It wasn't something Ken had seen much of, Louise never, and it was pretty funny. Schuldig seemed to be keeping an eye on Omi from a distance – he was probably making sure Omi's drunken state didn't mean his shields collapsed and thus he became overwhelmed by the emotions of the assembled guests – but Ken also caught Schuldig giving him some assessing looks. Ken wondered whether Schuldig really approved of what was going on, or whether he was just jealous that Ken could make a public declaration that was denied him and his two lovers. To be honest, Ken regretted that too, but maybe one day the three of them would be having a celebration of their relationship. Perhaps not, though – Ran seemed to be content the way things were. Public displays of any type weren't really his style.

In little over an hour, things were winding down, and Omi was saying that the Rolls would be there in a few minutes. Ken and Louise were going back to their flat to change, pick up luggage and then be taken to the airport to catch their flight to Cairns. Louise's family were flying back that afternoon - after all, she saw them nearly every month so there was no urgency to catching up with them. But Omi asked Ken and Louise to delay a moment or two, and then all of the Weiss men were suddenly at their table. "What's up, Omi?" Ken asked, puzzled by the sudden array of white-suited people in front of him.

"We wanted to give you two our wedding present," Omi said solemnly, and at his signal, Ran drew an envelope from his breast pocket and handed it to Ken, who opened it, scanned the contents, and then, once he realised what he was reading, handed the pages to his wife without a word.

Louise gasped. "No way, this is too much!"

"Omi, you can't."

Yohji grinned, and Ran smiled. Schuldig was keeping his counsel, but seemed to be hiding a smirk. "It's too late, Ken. The title has gone through. If you two have kids, we'll have to think about maybe swapping the two apartments for a house, but that's up to you. The only restriction is that I get first refusal on the property."

"Guys...." Ken was speechless. Yohji, Ran and even Schuldig had all contributed to buying Ken and Louise the ownership of the two ground floor apartments of the building they lived in, where Ken was presently renting just the one from Omi. And Omi had given him back every cent of the rent he'd paid. "I don't know what to say."

"I think 'thank you' is what my mother used to say," Yohji said with a broad smile. "Don't you want the flats?"

"Are you kidding?" Ken nearly shouted. This would give him and Louise such a head start on saving for their family and their future. "I'm just... well, thank you seems too little."

"But thank you anyway," Louise said firmly, signally to Omi to come over so she could kiss him on the forehead. "You're all so sweet."

Schuldig coughed, and Ran gave him a brief look of admonition. "It's the least we can do, and it's our pleasure. Now, you two surely want to get home and change?"

Ken recollected himself, even though he was still reeling from the unexpected generosity of his friends. "Yeah. Guys, I... "

"It's okay, Ken," Schuldig said cheerfully. "Don't think we won't make you pay for it when you get back. But maybe you better get moving."

And then it was a flurry of farewells and organising cars. The only member of Weiss who ended up seeing them off was Omi, and Ken watched him standing at the kerb as the Rolls moved away. "I have the best friends in the world," Ken said wonderingly.

"So do they," Louise said softly, kissed him. "But you're right, they're amazing."

Ken knew, if he lived to be ninety, this would be one of the best days of his life.

The day of the wedding was the last relaxed day Ran had with his lovers for more than a month. Schuldig had to go straight back to Canberra the following day – development on the cranial implants and the remote controllers was at a crucial phase and the first volunteers would be getting chips within weeks. A few days later, Omi flew to London to meet with American, British and Singaporean security service representatives about the latest waves of terrorist activity in the south east Asian region. Ran and Yohji were driving up to and back from Toowoomba every day, working with the new team that would be working the Singaporean/Malaysian region much as Captain Jensen's original team did in Japan. This was the fourth team they had helped train in six months, and they were expecting to be overseas in four weeks, working undercover once more, trying to determine who was behind the wave of bombings and civil disruption up and down the Malaysian peninsula.

They were handicapped by Schuldig's absence, since orders had come down from on high nearly a year ago that he was no longer allowed to leave the country for missions. He was simply too valuable for them to risk, at least until the cranial implants were working and there were enough people trained in his special skills to make him dispensable. It had very nearly come to Omi being similarly prevented from leaving in a similar way, but he had argued that with a man down, Weiss may as well not exist if they lost a second member, and the higher ups had reluctantly agreed. But he was still forbidden to go undercover without approval at the highest level.

It made a change from Kritiker's rather careless attitude to their agents, but it was an unfortunately timed restriction. Once the chips were working and implanted, Schuldig and Omi should be free to act as Weiss operatives once again. But for now, Weiss was operating at much less than full strength at a time when the need for their activities was greater than it had ever been.

Omi was in London for two weeks, and when he flew back, it was to Sydney, where he requested Yohji join him, much to Yohji and Ran's mutual puzzlement. Ran spent another week with the new team, staying overnight on the base, and then they were sent out bush for some field training. He would join them the following week, but for now, since he was not required in Sydney, he drove back to Brisbane early on Friday afternoon, feeling tired and out of sorts and worried without being able to pinpoint the source of his anxiety. There was one ray of sunshine – when he got back to Toowong, Louise gave him the message that Schuldig had had enough of the solitary life in the house in Canberra, was coming home for the weekend, and would appreciate a lift from the airport if anyone was passing that way. "His words, not mine," she said dryly.

"I think I can probably find myself in the vicinity of Eagle Farm this evening," Ran said solemnly and Louise grinned. "Would you like me to pick anything up for you while I'm out?"

"No thanks, hon, Ken's out now getting groceries." She handed him a cup of tea. "You must be worn out with all that travelling. That range road drives me nuts."

Ran shrugged. "I'm used to it now, I just find it boring. Any word from Omi or Yohji about when they're coming back?" He'd spoken to Yohji each evening, but his lover had been closemouthed about what he and Omi were working on. Ran had detected Yohji was rather stressed, and hadn't pushed for more information. It hadn't stopped him being concerned.

"Sorry, nothing." She frowned, sipping her own drink. "Must be something big coming up, do you think?"

"Perhaps it's just about our mission in Indonesia." But that didn't explain why Yohji and not Ran was needed in Sydney. "We'll know soon enough." He finished his tea and stood. "I want to check the roof garden. I was hoping it would rain this week."

"You and everyone else in the city," Louise said. There hadn't been any rain for months, but that wasn't particularly unusual in an Australian winter. "I checked it this morning – the plants are all doing okay."

"Thank you." He missed his garden, and this was the first time in weeks he'd been home in the daytime to enjoy it.

He took the stairs up to the roof and at once felt his spirits lift a little, seeing his lovely plants, carefully chosen and laid with all of Weiss making suggestions. The walls on the windward sides had been raised to provide a shelter, and a sun shade had been erected in one corner, under which a table and chairs stood. On another side was a bench under another shade, with figs on either side. Everything was in tubs, of course, and all the plants needed constant watering, although he had automated some of it from the large water tank he had had specially installed for the use of the garden. He dawdled over each pot, checking the soil moisture, tugging a weed out here and there, noticing that one of the larger grevilleas seemed to have some rust on it and wasn't doing very well, but mostly he was just letting the tension leach out of his body. In a few minutes, he would do some forms, preferring the open air to their gym, but for now he was content to think of nothing, no one. No one except Yohji and Schuldig, who he missed fiercely. There were very few nights now when he slept alone, and he knew he was very lucky in that. It still shamed him that he had been so self-indulgent for so long, pushing Yohji away and causing the person most dear to him so much pain. At the time, he honestly had felt unable to do anything else, but he should have been stronger, less selfish. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to Yohji, and probably never succeed.

At least Schuldig was back tonight. It had been so long since Ran had seen him. He missed his dry humour and his tenderness, and their conversations which could range surprisingly wide when Schuldig got enthusiastic. The only thing about being with Schu, was that it made him miss Yohji even more, just as being with Yohji made Schu's absence painful. At least, it did for him. Yohji never really said how he felt when Schuldig was gone, although he was always more than happy when he was around.

Ran rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the tension there, and longing for one of Schuldig or Yohji's fabulous backrubs. But Schu's plane wouldn't be in until five, which left him an hour before he could respectably leave to drive across Brisbane to the airport, so all he could do was concentrate on making his tense body go through the familiar discipline of his katas, and try not to think about his absent friends too much.

The exercises made the time pass quickly and by the time he showered, he was almost running late. However, Louise had called Schuldig to let him know he was getting the requested lift, so Ran knew he would wait. And indeed, Schuldig was standing outside the terminal, his posture radiating impatience until he spotted Ran, his face then breaking into a broad smile. For a moment, Ran even suspected he was about to receive an inappropriate public display of affection, but Schuldig reined back the impulse, and instead walked swiftly alongside him to their car. Once inside, though, Ran finally got his hug and a deep, hungry kiss. "God, I missed you."

Ran pushed himself away with a smile. "I can tell." He examined Schuldig. He looked tired and really quite stressed. "Things not going well?"

Schuldig grimaced a little. "They're okay, but being their only pet paranormal, they tend to work me hard no matter whether things are good or not."

Ran touched his arm. "They need to take care they don't burn you out."

Schuldig caught his hand in his own, and smirked in a way that was now very familiar to Ran. "I've been through a lot worse, Ran, don't worry. Yohji back yet?"

"No. And no word on when he will be." Ran started up the car and pulled out of the car park.

"Isn't that odd?"

"Yes. I don't know what's going on."

"Hmmm." At the corner of his eye, he saw Schuldig settle back against the seat and half close his eyes, but Ran knew he wasn't sleeping. It was his normal posture when he was trying to think.

They were back home in forty minutes, and after dropping in to say hello to Ken and Louise, and to politely refuse an offer of dinner for that evening, but accepting one for the following night, Schuldig and Ran went up to Schuldig's apartment so he could shower. Ran had bought some red wine and opened it, knowing Schuldig would need to wind down. When he saw the state to which Schuldig was often reduced by working with the scientists who were developing the cranial implants, Ran was very glad that his own odd but minor abilities only required his intermittent attendance at the laboratories. Schuldig was both lab rat and advisor – the burden was heavy, doubly so because in truth, Schuldig hated what he was doing. Although he accepted the need for ASIO and other intelligence agencies to have their own cadre of telepaths and paranormals, his memories of the abuse he'd suffered through having the chip in his head made it a bitter necessity.

Hearing the water turn off, Ran poured the wine and put out some sweet potato chips for Schuldig to nibble on. Two minutes later, Schuldig emerged, clad only in a bathrobe and rubbing his hair dry with a towel. Ran took the towel from him to finish the task while Schuldig put his arms around him and kissed him gently. "Thank you," Schuldig said as Ran laid the towel aside and handed him a glass. He groaned and stretched. "We have to get our generous employers to spring for business class and better chairs in their damn labs."

Ran tugged him to come sit on the sofa. "Not a chance. Ken tells me Omi has to listen to them bitch about the cost of our airfares every time he goes to Canberra."

"Bloody cheek," Schuldig said indignantly. "We'd be cheap at three times the price."

"Something I am assured Omi points out to them just as regularly," Ran said with a smile. He sighed and nestled against Schuldig, enjoying the freshly showered smell of his lover, subtly different from Yohji, but pleasant nonetheless.

Schuldig began to stroke his hair gently while sipping his wine, but he was seemingly disinclined to talk. Ran didn't mind. They had all weekend. He didn't have to go back to Toowoomba before Monday morning, when Schuldig would fly back to Canberra. He had no idea, he said, how long he would have to stay down there this time, but he vowed he was going to start coming back every week, at least while Yohji and Ran were around. "The house in Canberra is very empty," he murmured.

"Omi will probably go down there when this business in Sydney is over."

"Perhaps. I hope so. I don't like being alone."

Ran just hmmmed and moved a little closer. Schuldig craved people as much as Yohji did, but Ran was different. Although he had become addicted to the presence of his lovers, he was happy enough with his own company, and would not look for other people unless he felt it had been an unusually long period on his own – and that only because he knew it upset the other members of the team when he spent too long a period in introversion. These days, it was more usual for Omi or Ken to seek him out before he became aware that he had been solitary over long.

"Living under canvas next week?" Schuldig asked.

"Yeah. What fun."

Schuldig chuckled. "I still can't imagine Yohji in a tent."

Ran smiled. "He does all right, actually. The only thing he minds is that Jensen makes us sleep in separate ones."

Schuldig snorted. "That man is so in the damn closet."

"Jensen? He's gay?"

"Well, he hasn't had a girlfriend since he was divorced three years ago, and he seems to be totally obsessed with us. What are the odds?"

"If he is bisexual, the man couldn't get a date even with double the chances." Which remark made Schuldig spit chips everywhere as he laughed out loud.

They picked up the mess and then Schuldig wanted to kiss Ran again, which Ran didn't mind in the least. Schuldig was a very skilled kisser, at least as good as Yohji. It was sometimes a close run thing whether Ran would come just from an extended necking session, when Schuldig's or Yohji's hands had gone no lower on his body than his waist. For their part, his lovers seemed to find a great deal of satisfaction in kissing him too, which always surprised and pleased him. He really didn't know what either of them saw in him sometimes.

"Liebling, what's making you so distracted?" Schuldig murmured. Ran realised he was being rude, and doing what he did so often, living in his head and not enjoying the moment.

"Nothing much." He straightened up. "I picked up some lamb in Toowoomba, but I could just order some pizza if you want."

"Whatever," Schuldig said, frowning a little. "I'm not fussy, and I'm not particularly hungry. You don't need to play the wife with me, Ran."

"I'm not. I can see you're tired and I just want to help."

Schuldig tugged him back against him. "You do, just by being here. You look tired too, and besides I've missed you and Yohji. I want to just forget all the crap." But then he frowned at Ran. "You're worried too. About him?"

"Yes," Ran admitted. "And this mission. It doesn't feel... I think it's rushed and the new team aren't up to the job yet. I feel like we're stretched too thin and we're not making the difference we could do."

"Hmmm. Have you told Omi this?"

Ran sighed. "I haven't spoken to Omi directly in weeks and I feel that I have nothing concrete to put before him or Jensen."

Schuldig stroked his arm slowly. "Is it more like a hunch, or can you point to something that bothers you?"

Ran frowned as he tried to describe it accurately. "I guess... it's more a feeling of foreboding, that things aren't gelling as well as they ought to be. I have the strongest sensation that this mission won't succeed. But I can't nail anything down, which is why I haven't said anything."

"But still – your hunches are worth something, Ran. You should tell Omi."

"I will when I see him, which I hope will be soon." He snuggled back down against Schuldig who began to stroke his back, up and down. "Missed you," he murmured.

Schuldig's hand stopped briefly and then resumed, but he said nothing, just moved his hand further up to tug on the binding of Ran's short braid, setting it free so he could plunge his fingers into the thick mass. Both his lovers were fascinated by his hair, and he theirs, and he really rather enjoyed it being touched and played with. He moved his head, baring his neck in a subtle hint that he'd like a massage, not willing to ask directly since Schuldig was so tired.

But Schuldig wasn't too tired to massage him, and he was urged to lie in Schuldig's lap so he could use his long fingers more effectively, digging carefully and skilled into the aching, burning muscles of his shoulders and lower neck. It was like magic, how Schuldig or Yohji could drive away the sharp pain from his shoulders and neck, and he let himself drift. He only ever did so when either Yohji or Schuldig had their hands on him.

"If you were a cat, you'd be purring," Schuldig said, warm amusement in his voice, giving his hair a gentle tug.

Ran rolled so he could look up into his smiling face. "I think if I was forced to choose between one of your massages, and sex with you, I'd have difficulty making the decision."

Schuldig cupped his cheek, rubbing it a little. "Well, I don't know whether to be flattered that you think so highly of my massages, or so little of my technique in bed."

Ran kissed his fingers. "The former, I assure you."

Schuldig stared down at him, his eyes soft and his expression tender. "I love you, Ran."

The declaration touched Ran, and he responded honestly. "And I love you."

Schuldig went very still. And then he smiled, but it wasn't the same smile as before. "I'm sure you think you do."

Ran sat up, his relaxed mood shattered instantly, and glared at his lover. "That's rather patronising of you, don't you think?"

Schuldig put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Fine, fine, you love me. I won't argue with you about it."

But that didn't placate him. "But you won't believe it. Why?"

Schuldig put his hand on Ran's arm, and began to rub it. "Ran, I know you're fond of me, but... you know, you have Yohji. You love Yohji. We both know that. You don't have to pretend you don't feel differently about me."

"I don't feel differently about you," Ran said, now becoming very irritated at being doubted. "I haven't for a long time. I'm sorry if I haven't made that clear before. I assumed you knew. But I'm saying it now."

Schuldig's hand became a grip, almost painful, on his arm. "Don't... don't do this to me, Ran. Please. It's not necessary."

"No one says it is. Is it so hard to believe that I feel the same about you as I do for Yohji?"

"Yes." Schuldig's voice was flat and his expression now hard and cold. "You forget I know exactly what you feel for him, and why, and how deeply. No one could hold two people that way in their heart. Not when one of them is me." He folded his arms, looking almost as if he was chilled. "Yohji can't, and his capacity for love is greater than anyone I've ever encountered." The implication was clear. Ran wasn't as generous in his affections as Yohji, so how could he do what Yohji could not?

Although he wouldn't argue with that assessment of himself, Ran still retreated into defensiveness in response to Schuldig's sudden coldness. He felt his own expression freeze and habitual reserve made him move back, wary of being attacked. "So I'm either deluded or a liar, is that what you're saying? I can't know my own mind, but you do?"

He could feel the hardness in his voice, and he regretted it, but at the same time, he felt angry with Schuldig, frustrated at his lover's inability to see that the affection he displayed, the fact Schuldig was missed and wanted, were outward manifestations of Ran's true feelings, and not merely... gods, did the man think he was just being polite? Or nice for Yohji's sake? "Damn you, Schu, don't confuse me with Yohji."

Schuldig looked as if he wanted to get up and leave, but didn't. "I don’t want to fight with you, Ran. Please, let's drop this."

But Ran persisted. "We've been lovers for over a year. Why is it so incredible to you that I would be now quite sure of what I feel?"

"It’s not the certitude I question, only the label. I don't want to talk about this." Now he did get up, so he could pour himself some more wine which he gulped down, his back stiff and his expression blank. It was a version of Schuldig that Ran particularly disliked.

His own anger was dying in the face of Schuldig's evident distress but it was being replaced by uncertainty and confusion, and not a little anxiety about where this was going. He wished Yohji were here – Yohji understood these things better than he did – but then Yohji had his own blind spot about the man. Ran was just afraid that this was going to turn into a catastrophic row, and he had no idea how to deal with that without losing his temper. He would rather face a dozen guns than an emotional storm. "If I don't insist on the word," he said carefully, unsure of how to proceed, "will you accept that in my mind, I use it?"

"I can hardly stop you."

Ran forced himself to move forward, when all his instincts were to back off, to retreat from painful interaction. "I don't mean to cause you pain, Schu."

Schuldig put a strained looking smile on his face. "You aren't. It's nothing you've done. So what are you making for supper? Why don't you let me take you out – we haven't been to that Mongolian restaurant and it sounds fun, what do you think?"

To be honest, Ran couldn't have cared less about eating right then, but he recognised Schuldig wanted to avoid a painful subject. If he hadn't known it would be taken the wrong way, Ran would have left Schuldig alone then, but Schuldig was bound to read it as a rejection, so he agreed to go to dinner.

By the time he'd changed, and returned to Schuldig's apartment, his lover had regained his equanimity. They decided to walk to the restaurant, a half kilometre from their apartment. Schuldig began to tell Ran about a film he'd seen in Canberra, one Ran had wanted to see but which he had not had time to catch. It smoothed things over enough that the meal was pleasant, Schuldig apparently having regained his good temper, but Ran could not forget their conversation. Even as he carried on an apparently amiable chat with his lover, he was mulling several alternative interpretations of Schuldig's vehement reaction. One was that Schuldig was right – Ran was deluding himself, but not Schuldig, and therefore was causing Schuldig pain by not being able to offer the man what he honestly wanted to do. Another possibility was that Schuldig was wrong, but thought so little of Ran that he could not believe him capable of such strong feelings.

But another possibility was....

The other conclusion, painful and humiliating though it was, was the one Ran suspected was the correct one. Schuldig had fallen in love with Yohji first, and his devotion to their blond lover was absolute and unchanging. His feelings for Ran were more mutable, having moved from bitter rivalry and disdain to a kind of bemused tolerance, and then, quite surprisingly to both of them, into something he himself called love. But there was no doubt that Yohji was his first, just Yohji had been Ran's first. So it was most likely Ran's feelings were simply no substitute for those that Schuldig yearned to receive from Yohji, and all Ran was doing was rubbing the man's face in the fact that he would never share equal place in Yohji's heart.

He had never thought of it like that before – Schuldig had always given his affection equally, had told both Ran and Yohji he loved them. But Ran couldn't imagine him turning Yohji away the way Schuldig had done tonight to him.

It made him feel cold inside, the way he imagined Schuldig must feel whenever Yohji did or said something which made him feel inferior in their three way relationship, and he reflected bitterly that only the people whom one loved most dearly could hurt a person so much. He revealed none of what he was feeling, concealing his thoughts and his emotions behind the shields that Schuldig had, ironically, carefully taught them all how to make, and did his best to project only calmness and friendliness as he talked with Schuldig.

They didn't linger over the meal – they had arrived early and avoiding the crowds, but now the restaurant was beginning to get busy, so they paid up and walked back, the early spring evening already hinting at the heat and heady scents of summer to come. But when they got back to the apartment, Ran was suddenly unsure what to do. If he offered to spend the night, then the slightly artificial calm was sure to wear on both of them – but if he said he would go back to his apartment, then Schuldig would feel snubbed.

"Would you like to come over for a drink, maybe watch a film?" he finally asked, somewhat hesitantly.

Schuldig paused. "Actually, Liebling, I've got a hell of a headache and I'm never good company when I've got one of those. Why don't I catch you in the morning? We could go for a run."

Ran could only nod mutely, let Schuldig kiss him (as warmly and affectionately as ever, of that there was no doubt), and then stare at the closed door of Schuldig's apartment in horror at how he had let thing go so badly wrong. Gods, no wonder he let Yohji handle social interactions. He was an inept fool.

It was early, and although he was tired, he knew he wouldn't sleep. He tried to call Yohji, but his mobile was off and there was no answer in the hotel room. He left a message and then was at a loss what to do with himself. He put his laundry on, looked over the papers for the field exercise the following week, and then, almost without thought, found himself climbing the stairs back up to his garden. He leaned against the wall, looking out over the river, the bright lights of the city clear in the distance against the cloudless sky. He could hear the traffic rushing, people on their way out to enjoy a Friday night, going with wives and husbands and lovers and friends to restaurants and theatres and concerts and nightclubs....

It had been a long time since he'd felt lonely – he never had the chance to, these days. There was always someone around – and usually the fight was for privacy, not company. But tonight, he felt alone, isolated, wondering if this was the beginning of the end of the wonderful, almost miraculous relationship he had found with two men who meant so much to him.

He hugged himself, rubbing his arms. The fear of losing that relationship had always been lurking just as the fear of losing Yohji had been with him a long time – there were so many ways he could find himself without his handsome, gentle lover. Death – another man or woman – boredom with Ran's horrible personality. Since Schuldig had joined them, it had been both a reassurance and another source of anxiety, because here was another person Ran loved and could lose. And he knew that if he lost Schuldig, it really would hurt no less than losing Yohji. This was how he knew that he loved Schuldig equally. Ran had been forced too often to measure the degree of his closeness to other people by the pain – or the fear – of losing them.

He didn't know how long he stood there, his mind busy on many levels. Part of him was still coldly analysing the mission papers. There was even a small section of his consciousness that could register the sound of possums in the mango trees of the house next door to their apartments, and the distinct squabbling of fruit bats, high in a huge Moreton Bay fig a couple of doors down.

Of course he was still trying to figure out how things had gone wrong earlier, what he had mishandled, what had triggered Schuldig's reaction. And part of him was trying to prepare for inevitable pain, something he was now very, very good at.

"If you're thinking of jumping, you'll probably only break your leg."

Ran turned. "I wasn't."

Schuldig was holding a bottle of wine and two glasses, a polite expression on his face. "Care to join me in a drink after all?"

Ran nodded and came over to the bench where Schuldig had sat down. He accepted a glass. "How's your headache?"

"Nonexistent. I lied. I'm sorry."

This was not actually news to Ran, who sipped the white wine and waited for Schuldig to say what was on his mind. He wasn't going to initiate conversation. Every time he opened his mouth, he just stuck his foot in it.

Schuldig looked at him calmly, as if he was a particularly interesting specimen, but said nothing for several uncomfortably long minutes. Ran let him do what he needed to do. He found it was best not to push Schuldig when he was off balance or upset, but he trusted Schuldig's innate sense and stability would assert itself soon enough. If he was very lucky, they could begin to repair, or at least ignore, the damage that had been done. Schuldig and Yohji both had an amazing capacity for forgiveness when motivated, but Ran had no idea if Schuldig was so inclined this evening.

"You know, Ran, people can be screwed up without it being your fault."

Ran was so startled he spilled his wine. He set the glass down and wiped his hand on his jeans. He hadn't felt Schuldig reading his mind and wasn't sure if he had just missed it, or Schuldig had just made a shrewd guess. "Do you wish I was Yohji right now, that you were with him?"

Now it was Schuldig's turn to be startled. "Ran, no. Of course not."

"But... you and he... your feelings for him are special. More than...." Ran stopped. He sounded pathetic, as if he were asking if Schuldig liked him best. It was no way for an adult to behave. "Forget it. I was thinking of maybe driving up to the coast on Sunday – would you like to come with me?"

But Schuldig was still watching him with a curious expression. "Ran...you aren't second best. How can you think that?"

Ran picked up his glass and took a sip of the wine, his hands suddenly shaking a little. "You're the one who keeps insisting there are grades of love. You wanted Yohji first, I assumed...always assumed... he was first in your affections. I never minded...I understood...I'm just sorry I...I can't give you what you're looking for from him."

He put the glass down again. It rocked a little against the paving stone, the sharp clink sound very loud against the backdrop of the night noises. "Is this the fatal flaw in what we have, Schu? You seeking what you can't have, me offering what you don't want, Yohji unable to offer what you do? I'd hoped over time we could... perhaps things would...." He stopped speaking. How foolish of him. How could things become equal with this unfulfilled yearning, this gulf of needs and desires? "I can't give you Yohji's affection. I can only give you my own."

Schuldig raised his hand as if he was about to touch Ran's face, but then he dropped it. "Ran... sweetheart, your ... affection... isn't... how can you think I would not want it?"

Ran just looked at him. How could he think Schuldig would want something he didn’t even believe in? Schuldig raised his hand and ran a gentle finger down Ran's cheek. "What do you want? Of me... of this?"

"What I always have. I want you and Yohji to be happy, and to stay with me. Neither of you more than the other." He stared intently at Schuldig, wanting to impress him with his sincerity. "Do you really think when I'm with Yohji, that I don't miss you? Because I do. Very much."

"Ran...." Schuldig started to say but then he stopped, looking at him with a perplexed expression. "I didn't know that."

"Are you blind?" Ran said in exasperation. "Do you think I'm that good an actor? Do I have to give the pair of you rings, or get your names tattooed on me or...or... fuck it, Schuldig! I'm sorry if it's not what you're expecting or want, but I do miss you, I do love you. Does it all have to be neat and tidy and equal? Just tell me what I can do to make it good enough for you."

Schuldig stared at him as if astonished, but then he laughed. "Well, for a start, you could kiss me."

"Gladly," Ran said irritably, even as he came into Schuldig's arms and gave himself over to one of Schuldig's glorious kisses, letting the feel of his lips and his tongue and his wine-flavoured mouth fill his senses.

Schuldig threaded his hand in Ran's hair. "I don't distinguish between the two of you, never think that."

"Schu, you haven't really looked into my head since before we became lovers. Don't you think it might make sense to do so before you make assumptions about what I do or don't feel?" Ran made himself drop his shields, and remove any resistance, mental or physical, to anything Schuldig might want to do. [Look, damn it!]

"Are you sure?"

Ran resisted the temptation to do Schuldig a physical injury, and contented himself with giving the man his most irritated glare.

"All right, all right. Relax, Ran." Schuldig cupped his face gently and stared into his eyes for a moment or two, but then closed his own in concentration. Ran felt the itch in his mind which was his signal that Schuldig was indeed rummaging about in his head, but it wasn't unpleasant and he knew Schuldig would do no harm. He remained calm, hoping finally that this might resolve matters, wishing he'd thought of this months ago. But it hadn't been an overt issue then. He let himself think about the man in front of him.

Once an enemy, now good friend, much loved companion and team-mate – and yet Ran had no illusions about what Schuldig might do if he did not voluntarily subject himself to the foreign moral code of his lovers and friends. Knowing what Schuldig was capable of, and how he now chose to behave, made Ran admire him even more than if Schuldig were just innately moral, or raised to be a good person. Anyone could live according to the way they were raised, or be good when one was not tempted, especially if one had never tasted how delicious giving into temptation was. It was leaving the path which was hard, which took bravery. It didn't really matter what his motives were. Ran only cared what he did, not why he did them.

"I'm not brave, Ran," Schuldig murmured, suddenly coming out of his trance and kissing him. "Oh God... I feel such a fucking idiot, and I'm sorry for insulting you." He was pulled into a crushing hug. "I just want to take you downstairs and make love to you all night. Will you let me?"

"After all this, you still need to ask?" Honestly, he was surrounded by idiots.

"No, I was just living up to my carefully cultivated image as a gentleman." Schuldig stood, picked up the wine bottle and held out his hand. "Come and teach me the error of my ways."

Ran stood and Schuldig put his arm around his waist as they began to walk along to the stairs. "Why didn't you do this before? " Ran asked.

Schuldig stopped walking and turned to him. "I was afraid of having my beliefs confirmed. That's why you shouldn't think I'm brave. I'm a terrible coward."

"No, you're not, Schu. Gods, you and Yohji are so hard on yourselves."

Schuldig raised an eyebrow. "Pot, meet kettle." He leaned over for another kiss and then began to walk again. "Your place or mine?"

"Mine – unless you prefer...?"

"No, of course not."

It was something of a joke – Yohji and Schuldig had gone shopping for furniture together and had carefully chosen the same beds, mattresses and pillows so there would never be a fight over which one was more comfortable. All of them had bathrobes in the other apartment, and clothing tended to migrate back and forth regularly. The flats were by no means identical, but both were equally homey to all three of them.

Once Ran had let them into his apartment, he took the wine and poured out what was left into fresh glasses. It was too good not to finish – he recognised it as one of Schuldig's special store, one he had bought and laid down for a special occasion. Had he just really wanted to drink something nice to take the bitterness out of his mouth over their contretemps, or had it been a peace offering? It didn't matter – now, it could serve as a seal on their new understanding. "To us," Ran said lifting his own drink and sipping the fine wine, savouring it.

Schuldig cocked his head. "And Yohji?"

"I can't speak for him. He's very fond of you, I know you know that. I suspect the real problem lies with his feelings for me, not those for you."

"He feels he's being disloyal to you if he's too affectionate towards me, I know."

Ran shook his head. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"Because people are hard, Ran. Be thankful you only see the surface."

Schuldig drank some of the wine and set his glass aside, crooking his finger to ask Ran to come closer. Ran smiled, knowing what Schuldig was going to do, and parted his lips, letting Schuldig pass a little of the liquid to him along with a healthy dose of agile tongue. As Ran worked his hands up under Schuldig's shirt so he could play them along the warm, silky skin of his back, Schuldig delved under his waistband, trying to get his hands around Ran's ass, but being defeated by the tightness of Ran's jeans. "Off," Schuldig murmured.

But Ran wanted Schuldig naked just as much, and for a minute or two, there was a laughing struggle to get each other undressed, Schuldig trying to undo Ran's belt and fly buttons, Ran trying to drag Schuldig's shirt over his head and getting Schuldig's arms and his quite tangled in the process. "Stop," he finally ordered, pointing at Schuldig. "Get naked. I'll take care of my own clothes."

"Jawohl," Schuldig said ironically, saluting as he did so. Ran stuck his tongue out but didn't delay in getting his jeans and underpants off. By the time he'd stripped off his own shirt and sweater, Schuldig was only wearing a grin, his erection standing proud from its nest of bright curls. "Happy now, my little dictator?"

"I'm not a dictator. I'm on a mission, and I'm the mission leader."

Schuldig stepped forward and took Ran into his arms. "Are you indeed?" he murmured. "And what are my orders, Abyssinian?"

"Take me to bed and make love to me, Schuldig."

Schuldig grinned broadly. "I hear and obey, mein Führer."

Chapter Text

Saturdays were busy days in the Palmer-Saki household. With them both working from home, there wasn't the usual pressure of doing the household shopping that other working couples faced, but they did have to align their leisure activities with people who did. Ken had recently taken on a little soccer coaching for a group of Brisbane kids, and that took up all morning, then he and Louise drove over to the indoor swimming pool at Chandler for a diving lesson, before he dropped her back at Toowong. He was volunteering with a disabled sports charity and that meant working with them until nearly five on Saturday afternoons.

Things had become a little more settled now that Omi had decreed it unnecessary for him and Louise to have to flog up and down the eastern seaboard just to keep up with Weiss' movements. All of them were using the Brisbane base more often, although Schuldig was still having to spend a lot of time in Canberra, where at least the house they had bought as a second home was more welcoming than the public service apartments or hotels. Ken and Louise only went to Canberra every few weeks, which didn't bother them as she had family there, but the lengthier and more regular stays in Brisbane meant Ken could throw himself into the sports that were offered in such abundance. He thought Australia was sheer paradise for someone like him – he was nearly as active now as he had been in the J-League, legs or no damn legs.

Louise was as sporty as he was, but she did archery on Saturdays, and finished earlier than he did. When he got back to the flats, she was already there, showing Ran and Schuldig the photos of their diving honeymoon, and the wedding photos that Schuldig hadn't had a chance to see. "Oh, hi, hon. Omi called. They're back this evening."

He was surprised at the short notice, but pleased nonetheless. "Great. Do they want to be picked up?"

"No, he said they'd jump a taxi, and not to hold up dinner for them."

"Well, it will be good to have them back. I need a shower, then I can help you with cooking."

"No need, Ran said he'll help. He's a better cook than you anyway," his devoted wife said cheerfully.

He stuck his tongue out at her disloyalty and then went in to clean up. It was so much easier now they'd made the bathroom twice the size – although it had been designed to be disabled friendly, Omi had paid for substantial alterations to make it even more so. Now that Ken and Louise were using both apartments, more work had been done to give them a secure, private lobby the same as Yohji, Ran and Schu had. Louise thought they shouldn't even need to move if they had kids – not for a while anyway. There was a large park nearby, they had their own secure courtyard, and the two flats gave them a lot of space. Maybe Australian kids were used to more, but Ken thought there was plenty of room. Having babysitters and security – not to mention his best friends – on their doorstep was a big advantage.

Kids were a while off yet. Louise had only just started artificial insemination treatment, and they had been warned it might take a while for her to get pregnant – Ken's sperm were a little less than optimally fertile, although there was no reason in theory why he couldn't father a child, even if it had to be with the help of a clinic. Louise had joked about using a turkey baster – Ken had shuddered at the very idea. No child of his was going to be born as a result of something like that.

The shower was now flush with the floor so he only had to switch wheel chairs and roll right in, a great improvement over the original installation. He'd been fairly independent while they lived in Tokyo, but now he could manage everything himself, something he never ceased to relish.

When he came out again, he found Ran cutting up vegetables and Louise dicing meat. Schuldig was still looking at the wedding photos. Ken thought Schuldig looked a little better today – he'd looked damn wrung out when he'd come back the night before with Ran – and Ken assumed that he and Ran had chosen the traditional way of working off tension. Ken was just glad he lived far enough away not to have to listen in on the bedroom activities any more. Louise wouldn't have minded, he knew. She thought the three of them were cute as hell.

"We're going to give you all your choice of photos as a gift," Ken said as he wheeled over to where Schuldig was sitting.

"Yes, Louise said. That would be nice, Ken." Schuldig still sounded tired, although Ran looked refreshed – it couldn't just be lack of sleep. "I was thinking perhaps this one for me, at least."

Ken looked at his choice and approved immediately. It was the one he would have wanted of all the group photos if he were forced to choose just one. He and Louise were seated, Yohji sitting on her side, Schuldig on Ken's. Omi and Ran were standing behind them. It was a simple photo that said so much to Ken about who was important in his life, and had caught everyone laughing at something Yohji had said just before the camera had snapped the shot. It was informal and it was very like them all. "Good pick. Any others? There's a few with you and Yohji and Ran."

Schuldig pushed the album away from him and leaned back against the chair. "I'll take any you have with either of them – I'll pay for them." He looked over at the kitchen area. "Louise, my dear girl, do you have any beer?"

"In the fridge, Schu," she said, but Ran was already moving to the refrigerator.

He pulled out a couple of cans and brought them over to Ken and Schuldig. "Here – Ken, do you want one?"

"I wouldn't say no," Ken said, accepting the beer.

"Thank you, Ran," Schuldig said with a smile. Ken thought it was really funny how soft Schuldig got around Ran – it was bad enough to see him around Yohji, but considering how tough the two redheads were in reality, it was cute, and also slightly unnerving, that they could be so gentle and considerate with each other in public.

Ken opened his beer and took a long drink, then set the can down with a satisfied sigh. "So, tell me, how soon before they put the first chips in?"

Schuldig frowned slightly. "A month, possibly. They're still debating whether they can go with the in-bone version or not. If they have to actually open up the skull and put it in the brain, like mine, that might take a while longer. They're also working on an external control, but that's not going so well."

"So the things work okay, it's just how they install them?"

"They think they work okay, but it doesn't mean that they can turn someone into a telepath." Schuldig took a swig of his beer, apparently preoccupied with his thoughts.

"And have they got enough volunteers?"

Schuldig frowned again. "Why are you suddenly so interested, Ken?"

Ken looked over at Louise, who was listening to their conversation. She nodded, so he continued. "Well, Lou and I have been talking – I want to volunteer."

Schuldig put his can down on the coffee table hard. "No."

"Pardon me?"

"Ken, you don't want any part of this. Trust me."

Ran came over beside the armchair and looked down at Ken. "Why, Ken? You haven't mentioned this before."

"You guys haven't been around, and besides, it's not really a decision for you. So long as Louise and I are happy, why should you care?"

Schuldig snorted. Ran laid a hand on his shoulder as if to calm him down. "Apart from anything else," Ran said, "having another paranormal on the team is bound to affect it. But I don't understand your reasoning. Do you want to be a telepath or an empath?"

Ken shifted. Louise abandoned her preparations and came to sit on a chair close to him, but she still made no comment. "Not a telepath... Schu, do you remember what you said? That I'm slightly telekinetic?"

Schuldig stared, and then he gave a bitter laugh. "Oh, KenKen, it won't work like that, I'm sorry. Don't you remember what else I told you? They chipped Nagi and all it did was suppress his abilities somewhat – not completely, but then he was very powerful. Telekinesis is something you do with your whole body, not just your brain – not like telepathy. The implants just aren't that powerful."

It was a disappointment, there was no doubt about it. Not that Ken had been pinning all his hopes on it, but he had had to try. "But still, if I volunteer, they can use me as a test subject. I'll be contributing, so it would be worth it. They'll have tested it by then. Nothing much can go wrong, right?"

He wasn't expecting Schuldig's reaction. "Wrong!" he shouted, making Ken and his wife jump slightly in surprise.

"Schu, calm down," Ran murmured.

"Ken, you're only paralysed from the waist down now – what if they ending up damaging your brain, or your spinal column. What if you had no movement at all, or you were a vegetable? What would happen to Louise then? How can you even think of it when you're trying for a child!"

"It's because we are trying for a baby that Ken wanted to do this," Louise said calmly. "And I agreed with him. What about the other volunteers? They're just as much at risk."

"I don't give a shit about the other volunteers, they're not on my team!"

Schuldig's face was slightly flushed, and Ran's hand was now exerting a real grip on him. "Schu," Ken said carefully, "that's kind of you but...."

"There is no 'but', Ken," Ran said firmly. "You're too important to us to risk."

"And what about you guys?" Ken said angrily. "How do you think I feel every time you and Yohji go out on a mission? What's so special about me that I can't be put in danger?"

"That's not the same at all," Ran said. "We work for Weiss, with Weiss. You'd be a lab rat for a much bigger group of people and none of us would be at your back. It's unacceptable."

"Isn't that up to Ken to decide?" Louise said. Ken glanced at her – her lips were narrowed, and she had a fighting look in her eyes. "This is about him and his body, and his right to choose. It's nothing to do with Weiss."

"No, hon...that's not true," Ken contradicted reluctantly. "Everything we do, everything I do, is for Weiss. I can't just go against them because I want to." He could see she was shocked by his words. "If they won't agree, I won't do it. I owe them all too much."

"Look, it's not a question of 'owe', you stupid jock," Schuldig said impatiently. "It's just a pointless waste of time for you and it's too risky. If you want to throw your life and happiness away, at least make it worth something. Don't do it for fucking ASIO."

They all fell silent. Ken could tell Louise was angry, although he wasn't sure at whom the anger was directed. Ran looked thoughtful, slightly regretful. Schuldig seemed exasperated, but Ken could also sense there was worry there too. Finally he said, "How about this? We wait until the first few implants are done and we see how risky it actually is, and if the implants work. And then I put my name forward."

"Why, for God's sake?" Schuldig snapped.

"Because you might be wrong, and because there might be other effects which might benefit the team. Schu, look at Ran and Yohji. Just being around you, they've picked up some weird abilities you'd never even heard of. So what if the chips do that for me, or for other people?"

"They'll never let you get onto the programme," Schuldig said, clearly still irritated with him. "Not someone in your condition."

Ken's eyes narrowed – he hated being reminded of his paraplegia, especially by Schuldig. "Then I apply, I'll get turned down, end of story. It's my spine that damaged, not my brain, something you should remember, Schuldig."

Ran looked down at his lover and something passed between them because Schuldig sat up straight. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. They're looking for active agents, people who can work in the field. If the implants are successful, they probably will have to turn away applicants, they'll get so many."

"And by then we'll know if they're safe, so I can apply and take my chances." Ken looked up at Ran. "Please, Ran. Support me on this. It isn't just for me and Louise."

"You say that as if you and Louise aren't important to the rest of us," Ran said gravely. "I assure you that you are. But I'll speak to Omi – he would need to support your application. I have no doubt he will only agree if it is completely safe, as would I. He may insist on Schu's and Yohji's agreement."

"He won't get mine," Schuldig said emphatically. "Ken, you know perfectly well this chip isn't some marvellous invention designed to improve the lot of humanity – it was primarily intended as a torture device." Ken heard Louise's sharp intake of breath. "Didn't he tell you that, Louise? Didn't he tell you what Estet used this for? What they used me for?"

"Schu, that's enough," Ran said sharply. "None of that matters because ASIO aren't using it that way, and you know it's been modified."

"So they say," Schuldig said grimly. "I don't trust scientists, whoever they work for."

This was getting them nowhere, and it was obvious Schuldig's issues were bigger than just the practical. The question wouldn't be resolved tonight. "Look, let's forget about it. I'm sorry to have upset you, Schuldig."

Schuldig waved his hand, and then got up. "I'm going up to the garden to finish my beer. I'll come back in... half an hour? Is that when the food will be ready?"

"Forty-five minutes," Louise said tightly. It was probably just as well Schuldig was going out for a few minutes, Ken thought.

"Then I will see you then."

"Wait, Schu, I'll go with you." For a moment, Ken thought Schuldig might refuse Ran but then he nodded, picking up his beer and striding out of the flat, with Ran close behind.

The door being closed sounded loud, and was followed shortly afterwards by the muffled thump of the outside entrance door. Louise stood. "While I finish cooking, Ken Saki, you are going to tell me what Schuldig was talking about. I don't like being lied to by my husband." She stalked over to the kitchen.

Ken rolled over to the counter where Louise was chopping up garlic in short, angry slashes. "Hon, I didn't. Schu's... not exaggerating, but he's not exactly putting it fairly."

"Did they use it to torture him? Did they use it to torture other people?"

"Yes, they did," Ken admitted, "but, Lou, they could have used the knife in your hand, or, or, that grater... anything. It's not the device, it's the people using it."

She looked at the tool in her hand and put it down with a grimace. "What did they do to him?"

"He used to be part of a team that worked for Estet, but that team were actually trying to get away from Estet's control. They thought they'd finally escaped, but then they were captured. The rest of Schuldig's team... died... but he survived, and they tortured him and starved him, partly out of malice and partly because they could send his emotions to the amplifier and hurt other people with it."

"Oh my God. Ken, you never told me this," she said, clearly horrified. "And you guys rescued him?"

"Accidentally, yes. Ran and Yohji found him when they were on a mission and brought him back to our house because they thought he could help us, which he did. But he was pretty damn sick for a while – he nearly died."

She still looked distressed. "So the chip... it can make other people feel what you feel if you're in pain?"

"Yes – but it's more than that. Before we found out how the controller worked, every time Schuldig used his telepathy he got crippling headaches, nausea, that kind of thing. They designed it that way – the higher the setting, the worse the pain."

Louise covered her mouth, and then she yelled, "And you want to put this... this thing... in your head? Are you out of your bloody mind?"

He supposed he could hardly blame her for her reaction. "Lou, calm down, will you? They've disabled that part of it."

"He said he doesn't trust the scientists."

Ken sighed. "Schuldig doesn't trust anyone, love. Look, I won't do anything that upsets you or them, but I wasn't lying to you. I don't see the implants the same way he does."

She picked up the knife and began to slice the garlic a little more calmly than before. "Can you blame the poor bugger? How can people do that kind of thing to one another?"

Ken considered some of the things Schwarz had been involved in, and thought now was not a good time to make a crack about karma coming back to bite Schu on the ass. Besides, he didn't really believe anyone deserved that. Kill the bad guys, sure, but don't torture them for years. That was beyond sick. He couldn't believe Schuldig would ever have done that to someone else. "I don't know. Anyway, it's probably a waste of time to push this, like he said. It probably won't have any effect." She nodded, and he decided to leave it alone. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah, come around here and give me a kiss, you idiot."

Ken grinned with relief and gladly complied.

"I just made a complete fool of myself, didn't I?" Schuldig said ruefully, sitting down on the bench and looking out towards the fading sunset.

"I don't believe so," Ran said, sitting down beside him and putting his arm around Schuldig's shoulders. "It would have been nice to have had a little warning what he was thinking, and I share your concern."

"Do you? You don't think I'm being neurotic?"

"Maybe you are being neurotic, but I would be reluctant to encourage Ken to do this. Are you sure about the telekinesis?"

"As much as I can be, given that I'm no expert. He really thought he'd be able to play soccer with his kids, didn't he?" Schuldig drank deeply from the can that had been dangling in his fingers. "Christ, can you blame the poor sod? How can he stand being stuck in that chair?"

"Schu, Ken doesn't need or want your pity. You focus too much on what he can't do. You forget all that he can do – it's ironic when you were the one who drew our attention to the fact we were underutilising his potential."

Schuldig rubbed his arms. "I can't help it, Ran. It freaks me, thinking about that happening to me." He gave a humourless chuckle. "Estet knew it too – they kept threatening to break my spine so they wouldn't have to chain me up any more. I never knew when I fell asleep if I'd wake up crippled or mutilated. I guess they were saving it for something special."

"I didn't know," Ran murmured, hugging Schuldig a little closer. "You have to try to see Ken, not his injury. I suppose it helps that we knew him before."

"Maybe." Schuldig took another drink and then put the empty can down on the ground. "Would you do it? If they asked, would you let them put a chip in your head?"

"It would depend on the reason. If it meant I could do my job better, protect you all better – then yes. But not just for curiosity."

"You're pretty selfless, Ran, do you know that?"

Ran caught Schuldig's chin. "No, I'm not. What hurts you all, hurts me. I want to protect you because I can't bear to lose anyone else. Yohji's the same. You call yourself a coward. There's no one more cowardly than I am, when it comes to avoiding losing those I love. I'll do anything to avoid it."

Schuldig smiled, and kissed him. "You're too uncharitable towards yourself, and too generous towards evil bastards like me."

"No, I kill evil bastards like you, unless I happen to be in love with them."

Schuldig chuckled and slouched back, closing his eyes. "God, I could sleep now. I'm still exhausted."

In fact, Schuldig had fallen asleep as they were making love last night. His rest had been punctuated by nightmares, and he'd slept badly, although he'd insisted on getting up and going with Ran for his morning run, saying he was becoming lazy in Canberra and needed to get fit. "Maybe you should take some more days off. You'll do no one any good if you're so wrung out."

"And would you be so cautious about your own welfare, Liebling? I don't think so. You'd push yourself to collapse, and don’t deny it."

"Don't imitate me or my bad habits, or you'll just have Yohji on your back as well. I'm serious, Schu. What you're doing requires you to be sharp mentally, more than I can really understand. It's like a musical instrument – your mind, I mean – you should take care of it."

Schuldig grinned irrepressibly. "You're competing for the Yohji Kudoh Mother Hen award, you know."

"Hmph," Ran muttered. No one mother-henned like Yohji. Thinking of that reminded him that he would shortly see Yohji again, and he couldn't help but look forward to it, even though it had only been less than a week since they'd seen each other. Ran would feel less unfocusedly anxious once he saw his lover, he was sure.

They sat holding each other comfortably and watched the sunset fade to deepest black, the fruit bats having long since made their nightly flight along the river to their feeding grounds. At last Schuldig stretched. "We better go in. Do you think Louise will have calmed down?"

"I'm sure she has. She's sensible. Anyway – why don't you check?"

Schuldig blinked. "Aren't you the unethical one all of a sudden? I thought you hated me scanning Weiss."

"Well, there's ethics, and there's an angry woman with a fully equipped knife block. I'll take the guilt any day."

"Liebling, you're seriously letting out the stays, you know that?"

"Huh?" Ran didn't know the expression.

"Never mind." Schuldig concentrated. "They seem to have kissed and made up. Ken told her about me. I wish he hadn't."

"You left yourself open to that," Ran felt obliged to say.

Schuldig stood. "Yes, I did. One of these days I'll build a bridge and get over it."

"Don't judge yourself too harshly for not doing so. Not in this company, at least."

Schuldig hugged him and Ran kissed him leisurely. Privately, he resolved to speak to Omi about the burden being placed on Schuldig. Just because he was the only paranormal they could use, didn't mean ASIO should drive him into the ground. Ran wouldn't allow their new employers to treat them worse than their old ones had. "Let's go down," he ordered. In a short while, Yohji would be back and Ran would be able to recruit him into the campaign to get Schuldig to relax. Yohji knew all about doing that.

Ken couldn't help but feel he'd had a lucky escape. He could have had a major argument with his wife and his team mates on his hands, with the way everyone had become so worked up over the issue of the implants. Instead, when Schuldig had returned, Louise had come over to him and kissed his cheek. "You poor thing," she'd said, which had clearly embarrassed Schuldig, but which had defused any lingering anger. Ran had given Ken a rueful look, then wandered over to help Louise with the first course. Ken and Schuldig set the table, and soon they were all sitting down to eat, friends once more, the argument put behind them.

Schuldig was still somewhat subdued but Ken put that down to his tiredness, now quite obvious from the way he kept yawning, and with Ran giving him concerned looks from time to time. If Omi and Yohji weren't expected, Ken suspected Schuldig would have excused himself, but they were all looking forward to the return of their team mates.

It was as they were just finishing dessert that Ken heard the outer door open and then there was a knock on the door, which Ran answered. He heard Omi greeting him, and Ran welcoming Yohji, a period of silence which Ken assumed was Ran getting his hello kiss, and then the three of them were in the living room. Ken was immediately struck by Yohji's appearance – he looked even more exhausted than Schuldig. More than that, his normal cheerfulness was missing, and he looked suddenly years and years older than twenty seven. Schuldig got to his feet. "Yohji, are you all right?"

Omi waved him back. "Hi everyone. Listen, sorry to impose, but I need to call a team meeting tonight. Louise, do you mind if we do it here, or shall I take it upstairs?'

"No, of course you can do it here. Right now, or do you want to dump your gear?"

Omi looked at Yohji who, as yet, hadn't said a word to them. "Give us ten minutes just to clean up. Yohji?"

Yohji seemed to collect himself. "Yeah – back in a bit." He picked up his bags and began to walk back to the door. Ran naturally went to follow him, but Yohji turned and put his hand up to make him halt. "Give me a minute, love, okay?"

Ran stopped, clearly perplexed. As the door closed behind the other two, he clearly thought to follow anyway. "Leave it, Ran," Schuldig said with a frown. "Something's clearly going on."

"Gods, what's wrong with Yohji?" Ken couldn't stop himself asking.

"That's what I want to know," Ran growled. "You don't have any idea what they've been working on?" he asked Ken.

"Not a word. I don't even know who Omi was meeting. It was all being handled in Sydney."

"Ran, help me clear this so we can go sit in the lounge room, " Louise asked. They all helped, and Ran put the kettle on for tea.

Ken was puzzled and not a little worried. It wasn't like Omi to hide things from him, although he would do so cheerfully from the rest of Weiss if it was strategic. But Omi and Ken were hand in glove, partners in the running of Weiss, and Ken couldn't believe Omi would keep him out of the loop for less than a very serious reason. And then there was Yohji. Ken had never seen him totally unable to raise a smile before, especially when there was a pretty woman in the room. When Ran and Schuldig were there too.... In fact, the only time that came close was when they had retrieved Ran from Estet that time in Kyoto, and Yohji thought Ran might die. And even then, he had never looked so hopeless.

It was more like twenty minutes than ten before Omi and Yohji returned. They'd both showered and changed into casual clothing, and Omi, at least, looked a little fresher although he was obviously very tired. Yohji seemed little different, and unusually, he sat on an armchair, instead of joining Ran and Schuldig on the sofa as usual, to the other men's obvious puzzlement. Louise squeezed Ken's hand as they waited for Omi to speak.

"I know this is downtime for you all, but something's come up which I need to tell you about. While I was in London, I was briefed about Estet's funding of Islamic terror groups in Indonesia, and elsewhere in Asia. As we suspected, they're also pouring money into separatist movements, any anti-government group of any political or religious flavour. This isn't really a surprise to you, I know." Everyone nodded. "However, what is unusual is that there is a growing trend for young people to be involved in much of the agitation and terror who are not actually local. The CIA have evidence that as many as a quarter of the bombers and the people directly involved in terrorism are actually Western or Japanese graduates being recruited to the cause of the Asian groups."

"People with ethnic or religious ties, rediscovering their roots?" Schuldig asked.

"Only in a few cases. In fact, these people have closer similarities to each other than to the groups to which they are aligning themselves." Omi pulled some papers from his briefcase and passed them around. "They are all graduates from the best academies and universities. All have IQs in the top seventh percentile, all of them graduated either top or close to the top of their respective courses. All of them were, until their involvement in terrorism, noted for their extreme sociability and stability. In fact, you could not find people less likely to be profiled as terrorists if you had designed them."

Omi paused, sipped his tea and looked at them again. "The name Epitaph keeps coming up, and the joint intelligence agencies have given the discovery of the identity of Epitaph top priority. Just after I got to Sydney – within three hours, in fact – we received information which gives us our best connection yet to the group which is behind these foreign placements. There is an Estet operative, a woman in Singapore – Li Kwan, also known as Cheryl Kwan, who has been recorded as meeting a number of these foreign graduates, and who is strongly implicated in recruiting at least twenty of them. She has known connections with the largest terrorist group in Sumatra, and we have surveillance showing her meeting agitators in Bali and in Thailand."

"So why don't you pick her up and question her?" Louise asked.

"Because when we pick her up, we want to pull all the threads running to her along with her. We believe this woman has connections at all levels, and if we could infiltrate her organisation, we could find out the identities of not only Epitaph, but of the people putting the money and the training in, the people masterminding the plans... we could bring it all down."

"And for this you need Yohji," Ran said flatly.

Yohji cleared his throat. "Yeah. Kwan had a lover who died three months ago. She has a definite preference for Eurasian men – tall, good-looking Eurasian men. She's still grieving – she's ripe to be moved in on. The lover was also her lieutenant, we think – and she recruited him. If we can place someone – me – in with her, and gain her trust, we could possibly get the details of all her other contacts."

"You would become her lover?" Ran asked. Ken found himself preparing for an attack, however useless that was.

"Try to, anyway," Yohji said dully, staring at Ran. Well, that explained why he was depressed, Ken thought.

"You can't just send him into an Estet operation like that," Schuldig said. "What about telepaths?"

"We know she's not a telepath – ASIO's surveillance boys ran the brainwave monitors around her this week, and detected nothing in her or anyone near to her."

"You're putting a lot of faith in those bloody detectors," Schuldig said. They were a new invention, so Ken supposed he was right to be sceptical, but on the other hand, Schuldig had helped develop them, and they had proved reliable up to now.

"True," Omi said wearily. "But not all my faith. This is why we needed to speak to you. Schuldig, is Yohji ready to sustain the mental camouflage on his own?"

Since the first time Schuldig had used it with Weiss, ASIO had insisted on his attempting to teach the technique to other operatives, in a similar fashion to the way that someone of them – Jensen, for example – had been taught to build mental shields despite having no paranormal ability. To Schuldig's admitted surprise, it had proved possible – and very beneficial to agents needing to sustain a cover in the field. Ran could do it and had done it. But Yohji hadn't, not on his own at least. It was easier to do it when there were two or more people sustaining the illusion. Strangely, it didn't seem to matter if the people had paranormal ability or not. Schuldig thought it was a kind of group hypnosis – the phenomenon was very interesting to the ASIO boffins, for sure.

"I suspect he is. With some reinforcement from me, I think so. But I don't like it, kitten," Schuldig said, frowning at Yohji.

"Neither do I. But there's something else. If I have to pretend to be this woman's lover, I can't afford to be whispering the names of two guys in my sleep – and if I'm captured, she's too well placed not to do maximum damage to ASIO and to everyone in this room."

"Then why you? Why not use someone not so compromised?" Ran asked. Ken couldn't tell what he was thinking at all.

"Because he fits the profile perfectly, because he's done this before and because he's actually very good at this," Omi said. "But we came up with a solution which would protect him and protect the rest of the organisation as well."

"And?" Schuldig snapped.

Yohji answered. "Schu... I want you to block out my memories. Everything since before I joined Weiss."

Ran went very still. "You want... to forget... us? All of us?"

"Just for a few months, Ran...."

"Months?" Schuldig said incredulously. "This is what you've been hatching? And you never thought to ask me about this at all? What kind of fucking idiotic plan is this?"

Omi's eyes narrowed. "This is where we are asking you, Schuldig. Kindly control your temper and your language, this is hard on everyone. If you think I would risk Yohji carelessly, then you're not much of a telepath. Now, can you do it or not?"

"Can I do what?" Schuldig said rudely.

"Erase my memory." Yohji's voice was cold and dead, and his expression was completely blank. Ken felt icy fingers running up his spine. He'd only rarely seen Yohji like this and it was never a good thing.

"No. No one can do that. Memories are hard-wired, at least long-term ones are. " Yohji slumped, seeming disappointed. "All I can do is block them, seal them all up. But it's a lengthy process if you care about not hurting the person, and undoing it can be tricky."

"How lengthy?" "How can it be undone?"

Omi and Ran's voices clashed and Ran waved at Omi to indicate precedence. "Well?" Omi asked.

"Days. Up to a week. As for undoing it – it will come undone whatever I do, although it could take a year to do so. I can lay triggers down that will either release blocks in manageable amounts over a couple of weeks or even longer, which is the safest thing, or one which lets it all flood back which runs the risk of sending the subject mad. Omi, you can't ask me to do this to Yohji. Or to Ran."

Omi turned to Ran. "And your view about Yohji doing this?"

Ran's jaw clenched. "I'll go with his decision and yours."

"But you hate it?" Yohji asked.

"What do you think?" Ran said tightly as their gazes locked.

Louise's grip on Ken's hand tightened, and he could feel how cold it was. He was feeling pretty damn tense too. "Is this woman really worth this risk?" he asked.

"She really is," Yohji said. "Ken, I don’t like this at all, but it's the best chance to actually make an impact on Estet's operation that we've had in over a year. How many people have died in that time? How many people might we save if we can break this open? If we can find out who Epitaph is and stop them, how many people all over the world could we save?" Yohji looked at Ran. "How many kids?"

Ran didn't react to Yohji pushing one of his well-known buttons. But Schuldig did. "I don't care about some anonymous kids, I care about Yohji and I say you are playing fast and loose with him. Ran, you're not seriously going to let him do this, are you?"

Ran continued to stare at Yohji. "I don't have the right to 'let' him do anything. I don't own him. If he feels he can do this, that he must, then he must." Ran stood. "Please excuse me, everyone. Omi, I'll talk to you tomorrow about this when you've settled the details."

And then he walked out, leaving Schuldig opened-mouthed, and Yohji grim-faced.

Ken would have liked to have gone with him.

That had been contemptibly cowardly of him, Ran thought angrily, pacing on the roof. He'd shamed himself and abandoned Yohji and Schu when they'd needed them. But he was so... so fucking close...to losing control and yelling at Omi and the rest of them, and he couldn't do that. To do that would hurt Yohji, hurt Omi, injure the team... intellectually, he knew why Yohji had to do this, knew why he had agreed to all the other conditions. But emotionally, it was like his heart was on a slab being coated in acid, and all he remembered clearly was that Yohji had asked Schuldig to make him forget them all. Forget him. All so he could crawl into a stranger's bed and make love to her.

He felt cold even though the night was temperate, and he hugged himself, rubbing his arms, trying desperately to get control of himself. He had to be strong for Yohji. Yohji was suffering so badly, so guilt-ridden and worried, afraid for Ran, and not even thinking about the risk to himself. But that was all Ran could think about – that he could lose Yohji so easily from this, and he couldn't bear it, couldn't even bear the thought of the prospect of it.

He was shaking now, and he hated his shameful weakness. He had to be stronger than this. Yohji needed him.

He knelt down in front of one of the azalea bushes, trying to use its beauty to centre himself, but then he heard the doors to the stairs open and close. He didn't look around. "I'm sorry," he heard Yohji say in a miserable tone.

"Don't...don't ever apologise to me," he choked out. "I failed you." He jerked as strong arms came around him and he was pulled against Yohji's chest. "I'm sorry, Yohji, I just... couldn't listen...."

Yohji kissed him under the ear. "I know, love. I wish we hadn't had to spring it on you that way, but it's all been hush hush. Omi didn’t want anything discussed other than in person. That's why it's all taken so long – we were waiting to speak to the people who were carrying out the surveillance on Kwan. Look, I wish I could say I won't do this because it's hurting you...."

Ran twisted and looked into Yohji's mournful eyes. "Never say that. I'm the last person, the last consideration. I only care that you're safe."

"I know," Yohji said, bending and kissing him. "We think Schuldig can do this, and the memory block will make it really much easier to maintain the camouflage. You do realise that I can't forget you forever – he can't do that. You know that, right?"

"Are you sure? Absolutely sure?"

"He said that Estet had been working for years for a way to erase memories permanently, and they never came up with a method. What he can do is the best they ever discovered, and it's never lasted more than a year, no matter who set up the block, unless it's being constantly reinforced. So the worst that could happen is that I won't know who all you gorgeous redheads are for a year."

"The worst that could happen is that you could be captured, tortured and killed, Yohji," Ran said, his chest tight with fear. "How much do they know about this woman?"

"Quite a lot. Where she was educated, what she does for fun, the kind of guys she goes for. We know about her lover too. Ran, I know women like her, and I know I can do this."

"That still doesn't mean you're safe. Will you have back up?"

"Yes. Jensen is going to provide that personally – him and his core team. Your mission is called off indefinitely." Yohji got more comfortable, urging Ran to get off his knees and to sit cross-legged on the stones. "As for safe – hell, are we ever safe?"

"But we don't work alone, Yohji. You need one of us there."

"No can do, love. Schuldig is too valuable, and you're just too much of a prize. Besides, you'd just distract me. Memory or no memory, no woman is going to have a chance if I see your cute ass hanging around."

Yohji smiled but Ran couldn't find it in his heart to respond. Every instinct told him that he should exercise his influence and authority and talk Omi out of this. He was sure he could, if he approached Omi seriously. Omi would respect his opinion.

But at the same time, it was unworthy of him to even think of doing it, just for his own selfish reasons. "Schuldig," he said, suddenly thinking of his other lover.

"What about him?"

"Yohji, don't you know what you've just done to him? Asking him to do that to you?"

"He's not happy, I know."

Ran turned around. "Do you think so little of him that you don't even care how he must be feeling right now?"

Yohji's forehead wrinkled in his puzzlement. "Of course I care, Ran, but I'm more worried about you."

"I'm worried about both of you." Ran stared at Yohji, who stared back, obviously perplexed. "We should go talk to him. You probably didn't notice, but he's been worn thin by what they're asking him to do in Canberra. I was going to ask Omi to put him on leave for a week before all this."

"Is he ill?"

"I think he might become so if he doesn't take a break. And then you're asking this on top of all that."

Yohji put his palm on Ran's chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. All I've been thinking about was how to break this to you, and how you'd react."

Ran wished sometimes that Yohji wasn't so focussed on him. "I'm going to find him. Are you coming?"

"Of course." Yohji pulled him up.

"When...if they do this, when are they sending you in?"

"End of this week, or as soon as Schuldig can work his voodoo."

That, Ran hadn't wanted to hear. "They're rushing it. Rushed missions are flawed missions."

"Babe, there's only so much I can do to prepare. The main thing is setting up my cover and we've been working on that all week. The rest is up to me and making the connection with her. Hell, she might hate me on sight and I'll be back in three days."

Ran regarded him solemnly. "No. She'll fall for you. How could she not?"

Yohji laughed, somewhat sadly. "Believe it or not, there are people on this planet who are completely immune to my charms, Ran. I even have to work to persuade some stubborn individuals that I'm not a complete waster."

"But they come round in the end." Ran kissed Yohji, wanting to cling to him, but forcing himself to be dignified. "Yohji, I don't want you to hurt Schuldig."

Yohji cocked his head. "I don't want to hurt him. I'm sorry I had to lay this on him, but he's really the only person we can possibly ask, you know that."

"I know – just... he's had a hard time lately."

"Then let's go talk to him."

Schuldig's door was locked. Ran hesitated, but Yohji didn't, taking out his key and opening the door. "Schu?" he asked as he walked in.

The apartment was in darkness, but Ran could see Schuldig's silhouette in the armchair by the glass doors. "Schu?" Ran asked, walking over and kneeling before his silent lover. Schuldig had his knees under his chin, his arms wrapped around his legs. Ran touched his hand. It was very cold.

Yohji turned on a lamp in the far corner, throwing a soft glow over the room. Then Ran could see Schuldig's face. His eyes were empty, his expression blank. He reminded Ran chillingly of Farfarello.

Yohji came over. "I'm sorry, Schu. You know why I had to ask you, don't you?" Schuldig's eyes flicked over to Yohji but then they came back to resume the empty stare. Only when Yohji crouched down in front of him, did they focus again. "Ran explained... I know you're under a lot of pressure... but I need this from you, so I can come back to you both. I need you to look after Ran for me until I do."

Schuldig lifted his head and his mouth curled in an ugly sneer. "Just because you don't think I'm worth much doesn't mean I need to be told to look after someone I love."

Yohji sat back on his heels, clearly shocked. "Schu, I don't... I didn't mean.... I just ... you guys are the most important people in my life and I just wanted you to look after each other, keep each other safe. It wasn't...I'm not trying to insult you."

"Schu, don't read things into what he said that aren't there. Just talk to us," Ran said. "Please?" He tugged on Schuldig's hand, pulling it away from his legs. When he met no resistance, he moved Schuldig's legs and made him sit in a more open posture, one in which he could put his arms around him. "Don't do this."

Schuldig froze and then brushed his lips against Ran's forehead. "I'm so tired, Liebling," he murmured.

"We all are. Yohji's exhausted, you can see that. Look at him, Schu." Slowly, Schuldig obeyed, lifting his head. "Don't do this to each other. This is hard enough without us all fighting."

Yohji put one arm around Ran's waist, and reached up his other hand to Schuldig's face. "I'm really sorry, Schu. If you know another way around this, tell me. I can't think of one, but then I'm not very bright."

"You could just not do it at all, Yohji. Damn it, this is a crock, this entire thing."

"Then go over the plans with Omi, the both of you. Find the flaws, make the suggestions. But I have to do it, Schu."

"And if I refuse?"

Ran felt Yohji stiffen. "Then I'll do it anyway," he said coldly. "Use the training, my usual methods, try my best not to get caught, avoid telepaths with the brainwave monitors as best I can. I have to do it. You can't stop me by refusing."

Ran knew Yohji had to say that, otherwise Schuldig would simply veto the operation – but at the same time, his heart stuttered at the idea of Yohji walking into this with no special protection, and the risk he posed to everyone if he was caught. Then he realised that the only other way for Yohji to protect Weiss if he was caught was.... "Schu, if you don't do this, they'll have to fit him with a suicide capsule. There's no other protection if he's caught."

Schuldig's gaze snapped to him. "I won't let him go if they do that."

"Omi will stop you, Schuldig. If you interfere to that extent, they'll put you in prison."

Schuldig glared at him until Yohji intervened. "Guys, you're really being overdramatic here. I'm just going on a mission. Same as you both do. Things are a little different, but I'm at the same risk every time we go overseas. Schuldig, you can reduce the risk, but if you won't help, then don't interfere."

Schuldig grimaced. "Brave words, kitten – but you look like hell and you're worried sick. You don't think this will work either."

"No, I do. I'm just not happy at leaving you both for six months or more, and what I'll be doing while I'm gone."

Schuldig sneered again. "Not happy at leaving Ran, you mean."

"No," Yohji said, his tone frosty. "I said both and I meant it. Don't turn this into a competition, Schuldig."

Ran took a hand from each of them. "We aren't doing this. We can't fight among ourselves. Schuldig, Yohji needs to be completely focussed if he is to succeed. Yohji, you have to understand what you're asking and make allowances. For my part, I don't want this at all, but if it is to happen, I want it done well. Yohji, you concentrate on the task. We will be waiting for you when you come home."

And there, he managed to say all that without falling apart. Yohji cupped his head and kissed him on the side of his face. "I'm sorry," he murmured, a definite tremor in his voice. Ran desperately hoped that Yohji wouldn't cry, because if he did, Ran knew he wouldn't be able to be strong.

Schuldig scrubbed his face with his hand. "Shit, I can't deal with this at the moment. Can we have this night together without worrying about it?"

"Yes, I think we need to," Ran said. He didn't need telepathy to read the distress in both his lovers. They could examine this all night, and all that would happen was that their pain would become unbearable.

Beside him, Yohji stood. "All right. I'm going to bed in our flat. Come in when you're ready, okay?" Ran looked up and nodded. "Don’t be long, guys."

Ran waited until the door shut before he looked up at Schuldig, who stared back with an almost desperate look on his face. "How can you be so calm and just let him go?"

"I'm not calm – you've turned your telepathy off again, haven't you?" Schuldig nodded mutely. "There's nothing I feel like doing more than screaming and shouting, but it won't help any of us, least of all you and him. As for letting him... Schu, when Yohji tried to stop me going to London with you, don't you remember how angry I was? If the situations were reversed here, I'd want him to behave as I am now, and I would be furious if he tried to stop me. It doesn't mean I'm not worried sick about this." He laid his head on Schuldig's knee, wishing all of this would go away, knowing it would not. "How convincing will his cover be, once you finish with him?"

"Pretty much twenty four carat," Schuldig admitted, beginning to stroke Ran's hair. "You know the main problem with the camouflage is obscuring the memories we don't want poking through. It's not that I'm worried about, Ran. I'm worried what losing six years of his life will do to Yohji, because he wasn't any happier than you were at that time, and we'll be bringing six-year-old trauma back fresh as if it were yesterday. It would be the same as if I wiped you back to the day after your sister died."

Ran lifted his head. He honestly hadn't thought about that. "But once he gets his memories back, then it will be okay again?"

Schuldig was still stroking his hair gently, but his eyes were sad. "I don't know, Liebling," he said gently. "Pain is meant to be forgotten. You're much happier now you don't dream about your family's fate so often, because you're not having it thrust in your face all the time."

Ran reflected on this, and found it to be true. But he did wonder how Schuldig had made the connection. "Is there anything we can do to help him?"

"Not really. They actually want to present Yohji as hard and embittered, looking for revenge on the world after Asuka's death, on the rebound from that the same way this Kwan woman is after her lover's. I just don't want the pretence to become reality." Schuldig hugged himself. "I wonder if this is what your premonition was about, since your mission has been aborted."

"Possibly." Ran got to his feet. "I need to be with him – and you – so let's go in." He pulled Schuldig up and kissed him. "I wish you didn't have to do this, but I trust you to do it well for him."

"Ah, sweetheart, it's not an ability I want right now."

"I know. Come to bed, and hope this woman dies of a heart attack overnight."

"Well, that went better than I expected," Omi said cheerfully.

Ken stared at him in astonishment. The three senior members of Weiss had all left in varying degrees of distress or anger, and Schuldig had actually flung bitter words at Omi before he'd stalked out, saying that Omi's father would be truly proud of him now. Omi had flinched but said nothing, while Ken and Louise had watched Schuldig leave in mute horror. "And how much worse were you expecting it to go?" Ken asked.

"No guns were pulled, Schuldig didn't actually refuse outright and Ran didn't kill any one. I call that a success."

Beside him, Louise gave a little intake of breath. Omi gave her a weary smile. "I'm sorry for ruining your meal, Louise. I really wanted you and Ken to be here too. It was important you both heard it at the same time."

"Thanks a bunch," she said dryly. She stood and began to collect the mugs and plates they had been using, to stack them in the dishwasher.

Ken was still pissed off at his boss. "You don't think a little warning would have been nice?"

"Couldn't risk it. As of now, other than Weiss, only five other people know of this plan, and until we set up completely secure communication, nothing about this is to be transmitted other than directly to authorised personnel. I mean by that, face to face only, and only in locations we've secured, such as this one."

"Do you think we've been compromised?" Ken asked in alarm.

"No, I have no evidence of that," Omi said carefully. "But we can't afford the slightest breach of security on this. I won't lose Yohji because of it, and I won't risk Weiss either."

"I don't like this, Omi. You're putting a lot on Yohji working on his own, and he's never done anything this long-term before."

Omi sat down and looked at him tiredly. Ken now realised that Omi was showing signs of severe sleep deprivation, deep shadows under his eyes which he hadn't noticed before, being too preoccupied by the drama of revelations. "Ken, Yohji and I and the other agents went over and over this. He's sure he can do it, especially if he's not distracted by worrying about Ran and the rest of us. Look, this is entirely voluntary on his part. He could have said no. I urged him several times to only do it if he was completely confident, and that he wanted to. He said he did, and I believe him."

"But...." Ken was still horrified at putting Yohji – of all of them, Yohji with his soft heart and deep concern for all of them – into this position. "Why would he do this?"

Omi wiped his face with his hand. "He said it's because he can't take seeing any more dead kids. I think it means he doesn’t want Ran or the rest of us seeing them."

"Ran will flip out if he finds out that's his reason."

"Possibly – but it's a perfectly valid one. We all fight to save innocents, Ken. We always have and we always will." He smiled weakly. "Don't tell me you want your son or daughter growing up in the world Estet wants for them. A price always has to be paid for defeating evil. You know that as well as I do."

Louise came over and laid her arm around Ken's shoulders. "You might be right, Omi. But I don’t want Yohji being killed for the sake of our non-existent children."

"It won't come to that, Louise. Look, Captain Jensen and his team are top notch and they will be watching Yohji at all times. His orders are to pull Yohji out if there's the slightest risk he's been compromised. Ken, whatever you think of Jensen, he's dedicated and he's the best ASIO have. You know how protective he is of his people."

Ken had to admit this was true. "It's going to be hard on Ran and Schuldig."

"It's going to be hard on all of us," Omi said without the trace of a smile. "Ken, Louise, this is why I wanted you here. They will need your support and your friendship, and Yohji needs to know they will have that, and that you support him. Weiss will get through this as a team or not at all. Do I have your commitment?"

"Sure," Louise said, and Ken nodded. There was never any question of him not supporting the others.

"Thank you. I'm going to give the three of them tomorrow to talk and settle matters. Provided that Schuldig agrees, he and Yohji will be taken to a secure location to prepare Yohji for the mission and then he will go in probably at the end of the week."

"So – we should say our goodbyes tomorrow?" Ken asked, unable to shake a feeling of dread.

"No more than for any other mission, Ken. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get some sleep."

Louise walked him to the door, while Ken looked over the papers Omi had given them, profiling some of the terrorists that were suspected of having been recruited and trained by Estet. In other circumstances, these kids would be leading governments, running the security forces. And yet, here they were, dead at the very beginning of their adult lives, branded as the most hated of public figures, dying in suicide bomb attacks or shot dead by the army or police. What could possibly motivate them, he wondered? Did they know the path they'd chosen would end in early death? Did they care?

Louise returned. "You've been doing this for six years? How can you stand this? "

"Four – before that, I went with them. And it's getting harder every time."

She came to him, kneeling down so he could take her in his arms. "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I don't even know Yohji as well as you, and I'm worried sick. I don't know how you must feel."

"Worried sick too, and wondering how we'll cope if he never comes back. Is it selfish of me to want other people to do the fighting, to keep my family safe?"

She kissed his hand. "No, it isn't. Maybe one day you guys can say you've done enough, and pass the job to someone else. They shouldn't have to do this forever. It's like painting the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It's not like the war will ever be over."

He stroked her dark hair and kissed it. "No, I know. But I can't stop until they do. It wouldn't be fair. They're not just people I work with, Lou."

"I know, hon. I know."

It seemed like a lifetime since he'd woken up beside Yohji, Ran thought. Barely a week and a hundred years. At least the three of them had slept soundly, so far as he could tell. Yohji didn't seem to have moved, and Schuldig was still curled facing him, his hair covering his face a little. Ran reached over, pushed it back and Schuldig's eyes opened at once. He smiled, but didn't speak, and Ran then remembered that Schuldig had turned his telepathy off. It was something he tended to do when he was overstressed or upset, since it meant he didn't have to work so hard to keep his shields up. And with him so tired anyway....

Schuldig caught his hand and they lay like that, holding hands across Yohji's body, just looking at each other. Ran could guess some of what Schuldig was thinking. He himself was dreading the coming day. It was bound to be highly emotional and tiring. He resolved to try and stay calm, at least outwardly. He was resigned to Yohji going, and the last thing he wanted to do was to shake his confidence, or cause him any more pain. A lot would rest on how well Schuldig coped with it all. Not for the first time, Ran wished there was no such thing as telepathy or paranormal powers. But then if there weren't, he would not have Schuldig in his life, or the assistance that his abilities gave them.

He sighed, and Yohji stirred. "Ran?"

"Here. You don't need to wake up. " It was only seven, early for a Sunday, although they'd gone to bed very early the previous night. They'd slept for a solid nine hours, and Ran felt rested. He didn’t know about the others, and didn't want to presume they felt the same.

But Yohji rolled onto his back and turned to look at him. "No, already awake." He looked to his other side. "Hi, Schu." He reached over and stroked Schuldig's face. "Are you okay?" he asked gently.

Schuldig caught his fingers and kissed them. "No, Liebchen, but let's not start the day with this crap."

"Agreed," Ran said firmly. "Don't you want to go back to sleep? Schu, how do you feel?"

"Better, but I could still sleep for a week, I think. Yohji?"

"I'm okay. I mean, the worst bit is over for me. I haven't been able to sleep because I didn't know how you guys would react."

"Foolish," Ran said severely. "You should worry about the mission, not us."

Yohji smiled faintly. "Babe, worrying about missions is your thing, not mine. At least the ones I'm actually on."

Schuldig cuddled closer to Yohji. "Well, let's just try not to worry about anything for a few hours. In fact, why don't I treat you both? Breakfast at Mount Cootha, and then Lone Pine?"

Yohji smiled and Ran could have kissed Schuldig for the suggestion. The koala sanctuary was one of his and Yohji's favourite places, and Schuldig had bought them season passes for Yohji's birthday the previous year. Omi had replaced them this year, adding one for Schuldig, not that they'd had much chance to use them until now. "I think that sounds a very good idea, Schu," Ran said gravely. "You want to go now?"

"Why not? It’s another perfect day, and I'd like to do something outdoors. Kitten?"

Yohji turned and kissed Schuldig deeply. "Yes, I'd like that very much."

It was, Ran reflected, a sign of how wound up Yohji was in truth that he didn't even want to stop and have sex first, although in truth, Ran wasn't in the best frame of mind for it either.

The day started out well. Breakfast was fun, and Schuldig and Yohji really tried so hard to be cheerful, that it almost worked. Yohji could never contain his delight at being around Australian wildlife, and needed to do the full tour of all his familiar friends. His pleasure was contagious, and for an hour or so, they were perfectly peaceful, walking slowly around the pens and enclosures, watching the animals enjoying the cool of the morning, more active than they would be later in the day.

But gradually, Ran realised that all they had done was try to bury what refused to stay buried – and it wasn't the upcoming mission. Things began to unravel, even as his lovers were doing their best to make things easy for each other. Yohji was making a real effort to include Schuldig in everything he did, every conversation, which wasn't that different from how he normally behaved, but Ran understood at least some of it was because he felt guilty and was sorry for hurting Schuldig. But Schuldig seemed to be going out of his way to leave Yohji with Ran, and give them their privacy. This, Ran assumed, was because Schuldig wanted to let Ran have as much time with his lover as possible.

Both admirable and kindly aims, but mutually contradictory, and by eleven o'clock, Schuldig was becoming irritated and agitated. Finally, there was a farcical moment when Yohji sat down on a bench next to Schuldig, who was next to Ran. Schuldig got up and indicated that Yohji should scoot along up next to Ran who glared at them both in annoyance at the musical chairs. Yohji said, "Oh, sit down, Schu, will you? You won't get Ran cooties."

"Well, you wouldn't want to get Schuldig cooties either, would you?" Schuldig snapped somewhat petulantly, before stalking off towards the kangaroo enclosure.

"What did I say?" Yohji said, perplexed, staring in the direction Schuldig had taken.

"More what you didn't say, I suspect," Ran said wearily.

"Which would be...?"

"Yohji, we've been together for over a year. Have your feelings towards him changed at all?"

Yohji turned to him. "Love, are you jealous? Because you've no need to be," he said gently.

Ran wanted to whack him. "I'm not jealous, I want an answer."

Yohji's fine brows drew into a deep frown. "Ran, is this really the right time for this?"

"No. But it’s the only time we've got. So ... have they? Your feelings, have they changed?"

Yohji raised his hand as if about to touch Ran's face, but then clearly remembered they were in public. "Yeah. I guess they have. Mine towards you haven't," he hastened to add. "I love you more than I ever did. But Schu...I know him better now, and I like him better, trust him more. Understand him better too."

"Do you love him?"

Yohji did a double take. "Ran – whoa. Where is this going?"

"Yohji, please. Can't you answer the question? It's a simple one."

Yohji shook his head and laughed. "No, it isn't. On the one hand, I have you, and you and I both know what I'd do for you. And then there's Schuldig. I don't know what I'd do for him until I had to. But I suspect probably nothing much short of what I'd do for you. Except I don't know that for sure."

Ran had to admit this was supremely logical. "Well, if he died, how would you feel?"

Yohji grimaced. "Morbid little thing this morning, aren't you? It would hurt. Hurt a whole fucking lot. I'd have you to buffer it if he did, but that wouldn't mean it wouldn't leave a big hole in my life, same as if Omi or Ken died. Except with Schu... there's something more." He shrugged. "I can't explain it better. All I know is that if you didn't exist, Schuldig would probably be the one for me, now that I know him. But you do and you come first, you always will."

"Why?"

Yohji pressed his lips together in annoyance. "Gods, Ran, if you don't know that by now...."

"No, I understand why I'm important. But why does one have to be first and the other second? Is it some kind of race? Can you only love one person at a time?"

Yohji looked at him as if he'd grown horns. "Ran, I made promises to you. I think of us as married to each other, more or less. No one can take your place. I won't let them."

Ran persisted, even though he was almost sure this would end in a screaming match he would regret. "What if I said that you don't betray me if you see Schuldig the same way as you do me?"

Yohji pushed his sunglasses back on his nose. "I'd say I still don't see him the same way as you. Look, it's not inferior, it's just... different. I don't see you and him as competing, as much as it's ... well, you're my partner and he's my brother." He grinned. "That sounds a bit sick."

"It sounds very like love."

Yohji hesitated. Then, "I guess you're right. Doesn't it bother you at all?"

"Not in the least," he said firmly, looking Yohji in the eye.

Yohji sighed. "So why all this? Couldn't this have waited until I got back?"

Ran regarded him seriously. "Ideally, yes. But the issue is coming up now – it's bothering him, distracting him. Do you really want to leave us for months and months... possibly not... possibly never come back, and let him believe you don't care all that much for him?"

"I do... I always did, you know that."

"I do. He doesn't – at least, he's not sure. That's what all this nonsense is about."

"I'm going to talk to him," Yohji said, standing up.

About time, Ran thought, not without a small sense of satisfaction. "You go do that."

He watched Yohji stride off. He really hoped the two of them would sort it out. It would be a small consolation for the worry and pain Yohji's mission was going to bring them.

Chapter Text

Yohji and Schuldig returned with smiles on their faces, and Schuldig looked less tense and worn. He declared immediately that he wanted to take them back and make love to them both, with which plan neither Ran nor Yohji had any difficulty.

Ran half expected things to be a little desperate, not his preferred way of lovemaking, but given that Schuldig and Yohji had so recently reached an understanding, and Yohji was going away, he wouldn't have begrudged them a little urgency. He was thus pleasantly surprised that, as had become usual, Yohji and Schuldig wanted to spend a good deal of time kissing and feeling each other and him. More than anything else, Ran loved to be touched by them at the same time, and he had yet to grow tired (although he doubted he ever would) of simply being held by the two of them, of having lean warm bodies to either side of him, or next to him. Often their nights together were just long necking and fondling sessions, with climax seen as an accidental benefit rather than the aim. This had surprised him at first, but then he came to realise that Schuldig had actually spent very little time gently cuddling his lovers before this, and Yohji, with his minor empathy, simply enjoyed the sensations of pleasure and relaxation from his companions. Once he understood that, Ran could stop feeling guilty if the night ended orgasm-free, with them entwined with each other like sleepy puppies.

But there was something different today, for all the leisured air. Yohji was in the middle, and it seemed to Ran that he was being a little more insistent in his foreplay with Schuldig than usual. Deciding that for the moment, the two of them needed to deal with a few issues, Ran contented himself with watching the two of them kiss, running his hand down Yohji's back as Schuldig took up Yohji's attention, and nuzzling into Yohji's hair from time to time.

He heard Yohji mutter something which he didn't catch, but Schuldig did, apparently, moving back to look at Yohji with a puzzled expression. "Yes, Schu. Please?"

Schuldig smiled and shook his head, taking Ran's hand and trying to give it to Yohji. But Yohji pulled away and wrapped his arms around Schuldig's neck, dragging the redhead close again for another deep, languorous kiss which made Ran hard just to see it.

There was something about the way Yohji was rubbing himself against Schuldig, almost hungrily.... And then Ran realised what Yohji wanted, and why Schuldig was hesitating. They had been lovers long enough now to know each other's moves, to tell who wanted what and for how long. There was no pattern as to who was middle, who took who, who gave who a blowjob or brought out the toys first. Although he was addicted to order, he liked that there was no structure to their lovemaking.

But, although they'd switched in every other way, one thing had always been consistent - only Ran fucked Yohji. It had never been discussed - Schuldig had never offered to, strangely, somehow managing to avoid the issue and although Yohji had often seemed more than willing, he'd never pushed for it. Until now.

But still Schuldig hesitated, so Ran decided to be a little more assertive than he usually was in the bedroom - having two older, much more experienced lovers always left him feeling a little reticent. He reached behind him and fetched the lube, spread a little on his fingers, before slipping them between Yohji's buttocks and beginning to play with him, sliding a gentle finger inside and stretching his lover.

Yohji shifted a little at Ran's actions, but then settled back down, kissing Schuldig as he'd never been interrupted. Ran reached over and found Schuldig's hand, and put it on Yohji's cock. Schuldig looked at him across Yohji's neck. "It's okay, Schu," Ran murmured and Schuldig smiled before getting down to the serious business of pleasuring Yohji.

Before long, Yohji was squirming with excitement, hanging off Schuldig's neck. "Fuck me, Schu? Please?" he begged, as insistent as a kitten wanting its supper.

"Go on, Schu," Ran said, even as Schuldig opened his mouth to argue, he was quite sure. He pulled Yohji off him and made him lie flat, before Ran beckoned to Schuldig. As Yohji watched, making little inarticulate sounds of need, Ran licked and sucked Schuldig's already impressive erection into even greater hardness before reluctantly setting it free. He didn't want to rob Yohji of what he was demanding.

Schuldig seemed torn, not knowing whether to kiss Ran or go back to Yohji, who was stroking himself and looking hungry and not a little pissed off at being neglected. Ran grinned at him. "Hold your...well, don't hold it, Yohji, it might go off."

"I never make you guys wait," Yohji pouted.

Ran rolled his eyes at Schuldig. "And you call me pushy." Schuldig laughed, and then gasped a little as Ran expertly (he'd had a lot of practice now) put a condom on him, and then lubed him up.

"Now, Schu," he whispered, nudging Schuldig to the foot of the bed, and helping him hoist Yohji's long legs over his shoulders, and guiding Schuldig's cock into Yohji.

Then he lay down and watched Schuldig begin to fuck Yohji, very carefully, almost reverently, his face screwed up in concentration. Yohji had eyes only for him, even when Ran put his hand back on Yohji's cock and began to match Schuldig's rhythm. The only sound were the soft grunts, the gentle slap of thigh against thigh, and Yohji's harsh breathing as he watched Schuldig fucking him.

Gods, they're so beautiful, Ran thought, seeing them as if for the first time, now understanding why Yohji liked to watch Schuldig and him together almost as much as participating. Neither man had a perfect body - too many scars, the slight asymmetry of badly broken bones on each of them as there was on him - but each was dear to him, and each handsome in their own long-limbed, cleanly muscled way. Ran sat up for a better view and couldn't resist laying a careful hand on Schuldig's flexing stomach, just above the bright curls, as different from his own colour as they could be and still be called red. He looked up and found Schuldig looking back down, an amused smile on his face. "I like beautiful things," Ran murmured.

"As do I," Schuldig said, laying one hand on Ran's head and reached around Yohji's leg so he could take over stroking Yohji's cock. Ran put out his hand and Yohji reached for him, smiling, even though he was understandably a little distracted.

They'd been playing with each other for a while, and Schuldig was perhaps too nervous, and Yohji too stimulated for them to last that long. Ran's two lovers came within seconds of each other with soft incoherent cries, Schuldig's hand tightening in his hair and Yohji's grip on Ran's hand becoming firmer, the sudden warm scent of his climax filling the air. Ran slipped his arm around Schuldig's waist, feeling him shaking a little from his exertion and his orgasm, and rested his head against Schuldig's body and Yohji's leg, wanting, as he always did, to be in contact with both of them at the same time.

A few moments later, Schuldig shifted Yohji's legs from his shoulders, and then he joined the other two on the bed, pulling Ran down to lie between them. Gently, he reached for Ran's erection, and then began to stroke it leisurely, almost more like a caress than any serious attempt to make him come. Yohji sucked on Ran's earlobe, playing with one of his nipples with skilful fingers.

It was a favourite game of the two of them, to play and tease him subtly, skilfully, until he was driven to a crescendo of need and lust, begging to be allowed to come and being refused with loving firmness. Until, at last, when he thought he would go mad if he could not climax, he was tipped over into orgasm, his body jerking from the long stimulation and the sudden release, leaving him panting and sweating in their arms which held him close and cherished.

Yohji lay quietly against his back, his soft breath tickling Ran's neck. Schuldig let Ran's head rest on his upper arm, as he trailed his fingers up and down Ran's side. It was a moment of perfect peace, one of many that Ran had to treasure in his mind now.

But at the back of his mind was the knowledge that they only had a few hours before reality would intrude. He refused to bring it up before the others did, and Schuldig had done his best to pretend all was well, obviously content with what he and Yohji had discussed, and clearly happy with the situation with Ran. Ran was aware that the memories of this day had to sustain them for a long time. He was an expert in such things.

They dozed a little, but they were all too well-rested to want or need a nap in the middle of the day. There wasn't anything particularly appealing in the apartment for a light meal, so Schuldig insisted on treating them to lunch at the Regatta Hotel. The fine Sunday afternoon weather had brought drinkers out in force, so it was busy, but it was a pleasant way to while away a few hours before they walked back to the apartments, replete and relaxed, their concerns pushed behind them for the moment.

But of course, it couldn't last. Omi brought their fragile peace to a crashing end late that evening, when he called in on them sitting around having tea in Ran and Yohji's apartment after having just come down from the roof garden. Immediately, Ran knew there was more going on than he'd understood. He hadn't realised that how angry Schuldig was with Omi until their leader came into the room, his entire demeanour changing immediately from relaxation to outright hostility. One could almost see his hair fluff out like an angry cat. Omi actually winced, and Ran wondered if Schuldig was deliberately sending negative emotions at him. He frowned at his lover, who ignored him in favour of glaring at Omi. At least he said nothing as Omi sat down, accepting the tea Yohji gave him. "I'm sorry to intrude, but I need to know - Schuldig, are you going to do the memory wipe?"

Ran realised Omi had made a tactical mistake, putting it as a question, but it was too late now. "If you're giving me a choice, then no, " Schuldig said coldly.

Omi sighed and turned to Yohji. "Then we go with the second plan, I guess."

Yohji nodded, but with no great enthusiasm, "I suppose so. When do I leave?"

Schuldig swung his legs off the sofa and sat up. "Wait a minute," he said angrily. "Aren't we entitled to know what this second plan involves?"

Now it was Omi's turn to look coldly at his colleague. "No, actually, you aren't. This is on a need-to-know basis, and if you won't help, then you don't need to know. Yohji, please come with me. Say your goodbyes now. You don't need to pack, as we discussed."

Yohji nodded and stood up. Schuldig got to his feet as well. "Hang on, Omi, you can't just whisk him off like this without anyone knowing what's happening to him!"

Yohji turned to him. "Schu, sorry, we can't tell you. I can't even tell Ran." He walked to where Ran was sitting, and knelt. "Love, I thought we'd have this evening, but I guess we don’t. Be here when I come back?"

Ran lifted his hand to Yohji's cheek. "You don't need to ask." He had so many things he wanted to say, but he thought they would have more time. His emotions were choking him, but he forced them down, so he wouldn't burden Yohji with his fears, his sadness and worry. He only leaned forward and kissed Yohji tenderly. "Carry out the mission, come back safe."

The intimate moment was interrupted by Schuldig's protest. "Oh, no, you can't do this, Omi. You can’t play me like this, manipulate me with guilt. You know Yohji can't do this without my help and you're just trying to force me to give it."

It was Yohji who stood and faced off to him. "Schuldig, I won't pretend I'd prefer if you helped me. But this mission is going ahead. We've made alternative arrangements. Omi offered you a choice, and you made it. Don't bitch at us because of that."

"Ran, make them stop!"

But Ran shook his head. "No. I agree with Yohji. I don't hold it against you that you've chosen the way you have, but you can’t interfere."

Schuldig stared, looking from Yohji to him to Omi. "I'll just pick it out of your heads, you know I can."

Omi suddenly drew his gun, and pointed it at Schuldig. "Ran, if you detect him reading your mind, I want to know. You too, Yohji."

"Schuldig, don't," Ran said, horrified at Omi's actions even as he understood this needed to be done.

"You would let Yohji risk his life so stupidly, Ran?" Schuldig said angrily.

"No, you're the one doing that," Ran snapped, out of patience and desperately wishing this farce would end. "Schuldig, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to leave. Turn off your controller and leave our flat until Yohji is gone."

Schuldig looked at him with hurt and anger in his eyes, but Ran stared back, keeping his gaze steady for over a minute, willing Schuldig to give in. Finally he did, drawing the controller out of his pocket and putting it on the counter. While Omi kept his gun trained on him the entire time, Ran checked the setting, put it in his own pocket and then nodded. It was off - Schuldig had not turned it back on that day. "Thank you. I'll call your mobile later when we're done here."

Schuldig narrowed his eyes and then turned to Yohji. "Kitten, please. You can't. This is suicide."

Yohji only looked at him sadly, but said nothing. Omi spoke up. "Schuldig, we have to get moving. Please leave now, you're only making it worse."

Schuldig turned and walked to the door. "I'll never forgive you for this, Omi," he said bitterly, without looking back. Omi just stood watching, his gun still pointed at Schuldig, never wavering.

Schuldig put his hand on the door handle, but then he turned around. "You fucking bastard, " he growled. "You'd sacrifice Yohji just to make a point, wouldn't you?"

"I have no intention of sacrificing anyone on my team. Not even you," Omi said tightly. "But those who won't be with us, can't stay with us. Walk out that door and you're no longer Weiss, Schuldig."

"Omi, no," Yohji protested, his hand out as if to ward off Omi's words. "That's not fair. You gave him a choice."

"Actually I gave him an order. In deference to his age and his value and our friendship, I've allowed him to turn it down. But there is a price for that."

"Omi," Ran said, "I can't agree with you. You didn't phrase it as an order, and you're asking Schuldig something that no team mate - no friend - should ever have to do to another. Why should he be penalised for having powers that we don’t? He contributes to this team as much as anyone." He laid Schuldig's controller down on the counter. "And if he goes, so do I."

"And me," Yohji said, walking to Schuldig's side. "You can impose an information black out if you need to. But fucked if I'm going on this mission at the price of losing him to Weiss or to me."

Ran joined them, flanking Schuldig. "And I won't support someone who makes decisions out of spite."

Omi glared, his colour high. "You all swore not to question my decisions. Ran, you promised your support."

Ran refused to allow guilt to sway him. "I know I did but I won't allow you to punish Schuldig for a decision which must be his and his alone." He turned to Schuldig. "Schu, I know how painful it is for you and I know that's not the reason you're refusing. Personally, I wish you would change your mind, for Yohji's sake. But equally, I don’t want you bullied into this."

Schuldig's expression softened. "I knew there was a reason I loved you, Ran." Then he turned to Yohji. "And you." He cupped Yohji's head and drew him close so that their foreheads touched. "I don't want to do this because I think it will be bad for you. Do you understand that?"

"No. But I know you have my best interests at heart," Yohji said softly. For a moment, it was as if they were the only two people in the room, the others forgotten. "Schuldig, I'll respect your choice. I swear that. Whatever happens, I won't hold it against you."

"Liebchen, if anything happens to you, whichever way I choose, that will not be a comfort." He turned to Ran. "You know, life was a lot easier before you boys installed a conscience in me."

Ran slipped an arm around Schuldig's waist and looked at Omi. "I think we've made our position clear and the person who has to leave now is you, Omi. We can sort out the practical matters of what this means later, but now, I want to be alone with the people I love."

It was unkind, and it was meant to be. Ran truly disliked what Omi had done. It was unfair and dishonourable. What was any of it worth if their friendship could be shattered for such a trivial reason?

"You all know this is completely ridiculous," Omi bit out. "But if you going to adopt this attitude.... All right, Schuldig, you can stay with Weiss, but you still have to leave the apartment."

"Screw that, I could get the information out of you any damn time I wanted, Omi," Schuldig snapped. "Stop fucking around."

"You know, I've had about as much insubordination as I'm prepared to take from you, Schuldig!" Omi shouted back. "I'm the leader of this team, and there is a mission which has to be carried out. Yohji is going on it and that's the end of that. Now get out of the fucking apartment and keep the hell away. The more people who know, the more danger he's in. What part of that do you not understand?"

"The part about how you're going to make sure he comes back alive, you bloody moron!"

"Fuck it!" They all stopped and looked at Yohji, his face flushed and his green eyes flashing with anger. "Will you fucking stop? You think I want this? You fighting over me like two tomcats over a fish? How the hell will I feel going into the field with this on my mind? Just stop! Omi, you're being ridiculous. Schu, just back the fuck off." He ran a shaking hand through his hair. "Shit, I want a cigarette."

Schuldig pulled him close. "I'm sorry, kitten," he murmured. "Okay, all right. I'll do it, but on one condition - I have to do it my way, even if it takes longer."

Omi pressed his lips together. "How much longer?"

"I don’t know, dammit! Look, I haven't actually done something of this scale before, not when the welfare of the person was important. I still say you're fucking with Yohji's safety, and I still say nothing is worth that. But if you will let me take the time I need, and only go ahead when I say it's safe, then I will agree. But on no other basis even if that means I have to leave Weiss."

"We don't have time...."

"Make time," Schuldig gritted out. "A few days won't make that much difference. If they do, then tough." He turned back to Yohji. "Yes?"

"Whatever you say, love." Schuldig looked startled and then pleased at the endearment, nuzzling his cheek against Yohji.

Ran spoke up. "Omi, you've got what you want, and Schuldig's request makes sense. He's the expert. You can't impose an artificial deadline."

Omi glared at Ran for interfering. "All right. I can't say I'm pleased by the way this discussion has gone. But if you're going to do this, Schuldig, then you can have this evening to yourselves. Yohji, you, Schuldig and I will leave at seven tomorrow. Take clothing for a week, Schuldig, but Yohji, no spare clothes or personal effects. I will see you downstairs at quarter to seven without fail." He nodded tightly at Ran, ignoring Schuldig entirely, and then walked to the door, closing it a little more firmly than he probably needed to.

Yohji collapsed onto a stool. "Fuck. We're going to have to do some serious ass-kissing now."

He was undoubtedly right, but Yohji didn't need to think about that now. Ran went to his side and kissed his cheek. "Don't concern yourself with that, Yohji. You and Schu should talk about what you need to for this ... procedure, and then we should try to relax, let you get a good night's sleep." He looked at Schuldig. "Should I leave you two alone to talk?"

"No, sweetheart, stay. But you're right, we do need to talk. For the record, I love you for what you did just then."

Ran smiled solemnly. "That's what friends are for, Schu. Or so they tell me." And he - all of them - would need their friends in the weeks to come, he was sure of it.

Ran was now left in Brisbane on his own, apart from Ken and Louise of course. The others went to a location Omi wouldn't reveal - not, at least, he said, until Schuldig was finished doing what he needed to do with Yohji. Ran was now not needed back in Toowoomba, and until Omi and Schuldig returned, his next assignment wasn't known.

Ken naturally offered for him to spend time with them, but Ran declined, politely but nonetheless firmly. He called in each day, a couple of times to offer Louise some flowers from the garden, once to see if they wanted shopping, and the other times just saying hello and asking if Ken had heard from 'anyone'. Ken didn't need to read Ran's mind to know who he wanted the news about, but Ran never mentioned either Schuldig or Yohji by name. It was how he had behaved when his sister had died.

"He's taking this hard," Louise said as they set out plates for their evening meal - a meal for which Ran had once again refused an invitation.

"It's his way. What worries me is that this time, he won't have Yohji there to help him through, and I don't know how Schuldig will deal with him."

Ken began to serve himself salad, but he found he had little appetite. He was worried about his team. Ran was shutting down again, hiding pain, and without Yohji, the one who had held them together after the fall of Kritiker, there was no one skilled enough to draw him out, no one who offered the understanding of his suffering that made the kindness and the help seem nothing like pity. Of all of Weiss, Ran was probably the most difficult for Ken to approach, the one member he had the most trouble understanding and helping. Things were much improved, but when the chips were down, they were different people with very different ways of doing things, and while Ran's loyalty to Ken as a team member and a friend was absolute and unquestioned, they had surprisingly little in common outside of their job and their friends. Ken just didn't know where to start with him.

"Would it help if I talked to him?" Louise asked. "You know, things you can share with a woman that you can't talk about with a bloke?"

"You could try. I think he's past the point of snapping your head off for it." Ken half-grinned as he remembered something, and she looked puzzled. "I was just thinking about some of the school kids who used to hang around the flower shop. The poor girls probably wished they had titanium ear-drums after Ran shouted at them. He used to get so worked up about them wasting our time when we could be working."

"You know, you've told me you guys were florists. I just have a really hard time believing it."

"Oh, believe it. Don't forget who made your bouquet."

She handed him some chicken. "Yeah, but running a shop? Ran?"

"Yeah, I know. At the time, it seemed to make sense, but now I wonder if our boss was just crazy."

"Ken, Yohji will be okay, won't he? This thing that Schu is doing, it won't damage his mind, will it?" Louise had only had the briefest, gentlest exposure to Schuldig's powers purely for demonstration purposes. She'd been told of the offensive uses, but it was only theoretical knowledge for her. The rest of them had decided she really didn't need to know - not yet, any way.

"I hope not, Lou. I know Schuldig would cut his hand off before he hurt Yohji deliberately, but he says himself he doesn't know everything he could about how this works."

"There must be another way. Other agents don't have to do this."

He grimaced. "Other agents aren't working against Estet, right in the heart of their operations. This is the first time someone's ever gone deep undercover with them." He stared at his plate, his appetite now gone. "I just wish it wasn't Yohji. If anything happens to him...."

She took hold of his hand. "Don't be negative, hon. It may never happen."

But Ken couldn't shake the sense of unease. They had beaten the odds so many times. Sometime, their luck had to run out, as his had done four years ago in the Estet temple. At least he survived it, even if he had been damaged. This time it wasn't Yohji's back but his kind and loving personality that was at risk. Even if he were whole, losing that would destroy what made Yohji so special to Ken. "I hope not, Lou. I really, really do."

Nearly two weeks later, Ken got a call from Omi for him to bring Louise and Ran to the army barracks in Enogerra. No details were given, except that it was imperative that they come immediately. Thirty minutes later, after getting passes and parking, they were met by an Army sergeant who told them to come with him to offices deep in the heart of the barracks. Omi and Schuldig were waiting for them. Ken couldn't help but be horrified at Schuldig's ill-looking and tired state, but Omi only looked better in comparison, not objectively. They were still accompanied by the sergeant, and Ken saw Ran having to school his impulse to go to his lover's side. As soon as they were left in a room with a large glass window covered with a heavy curtain, and the sergeant departed, Ran went to Schuldig at once and took him into an embrace. Schuldig buried his face in Ran's shoulder. Neither of them spoke.

Ken looked at Omi. "What's going on, Omi?"

Omi took a seat. "Yohji's preparation is complete, but Schuldig wants to check the stability of his memory blocks by exposing Yohji to Ran, possibly to all of us, or at least to photos and other things. And then we'll know it's good enough for the field."

"Are you saying it could all just shatter if Yohji sees Ran? What use is that?"

Schuldig lifted his head and snarled at them. "I'm trying to make sure that won't happen, you bloody moron."

Ran stroked his hair. "Schu, don't," he said quietly. He led Schuldig over to the table and made him sit. "What do I have to do?"

Schuldig didn't answer, his lips pressed firmly together, his expression angry. It was Omi who replied. "Behind that window, in the room next door, Yohji is receiving what he thinks is a briefing. We've laid a number of cues which would trigger memories normally - photos, names in the files - and the blocks should break if they aren't working correctly." He touched his breast pocket. "I haven't had a signal yet that there's a problem. But in a few moments, Ran, I want you to take this folder in there. Let Yohji get a good look at you, get close enough for him to smell you, and let him hear you speak. Ken, Louise, you're only back up, really. I just thought you'd want to see Yohji once more and reassure yourselves that he's okay."

That was unusually considerate for Omi, Ken thought. "When can we see him?"

"Right now. Louise, would you turn the lights off for us?" Omi waited until the room was dark, and then he pressed buttons which made the curtains slide back and sounds from a speaker suddenly fill the room. Ken could hear a male voice, not Yohji's - presumably the man who was sitting across from Yohji at a desk in a bare room on the other side of the window. "Please, everyone," Omi whispered, "sit still and don't make any noise. We don't want him to realise there's anyone here."

Ken examined the scene. He didn't know the man talking to Yohji - some army officer he supposed. Yohji seemed okay. Tired, a little sad. But the most obvious difference was the cigarette in his hand. "Why is he smoking?" Ken hissed quietly.

Omi glared at him for disobeying orders. Schuldig answered. "Because when he was twenty one, he smoked like a chimney and the reasons he gave up haven't happened yet," he said in a low, bitter voice.

Until that moment, Ken hadn't really understood just what the difference would be in Yohji. He'd assumed that Yohji would just not know them, but that there would be no other change. But now he saw that he was looking at the Yohji he'd first met six years ago - and he'd thought that man was a bit of an asshole, really. A careless, lazy, apparently thoughtless and trivial person, someone who pissed Ken off as easily as breathing. Only later had Ken realised it was all an act and that Yohji was actually a deeply unhappy and tortured man. Only his love for Ran had stopped him self-destructing - but this version of Yohji had never met Ran.

He stared through the window, listening to Yohji answer questions in a bored voice, as if he'd answered them a dozen times already - the same bored voice he used to use in Manx's briefings. It was creepy hearing it again. Even Louise seemed to have realised there was something different, for she reached for his hand and squeezed it.

It was only a minute or two when the man in the room spoke into a phone. "Mr Kobayashi, could you bring those notes in for me?"

"That's you, Ran," Omi whispered, handing him a folder. "Outside, to your left. Knock and he'll let you in. Just follow his lead."

Ran stood and left the room in silence. Schuldig didn't watch him go - he was concentrating on the room in front of them. They heard Ran's knock and a second later, saw him enter in response to the man's 'Come in'. Ran came to stand almost touching Yohji as he handed the folder over. Yohji was on the window side so they could see his reactions - such as they were. He glanced up at Ran in apparently mild curiosity and then turned back to the man taking the meeting. The guy asked Ran a couple of nonsense questions and got nonsense answers. Yohji merely looked bored, and paid neither of them any more attention than the chair he was sitting on.

"That's all, Kobayashi."

"Yes, sir," Ran said, turning, but appeared to stumble across Yohji's chair, needing to balance himself by clutching at the arm of it - across Yohji's body.

Yohji grabbed Ran's arm and helped him stand up. "Watch it, Red."

"Sorry." Ran looked at Yohji intently. It seemed to puzzle Yohji but there was no other reaction to his scrutiny. "Thanks."

Yohji waved the hand holding his cigarette at Ran in dismissal of the thanks and the apology, and Ran left the room. He returned to the one they were all waiting in, just in time to hear the interviewer apologising for the interruption, and Yohji asking if all his employees were such damn klutzes. Ran leaned on the edge of the window, his face in shadow, as he stared at Yohji, listening to the utterly dismissive tone.

The interview continued a minute or two more, and then the guy stood up, and told Yohji to come with him. They left the room.

Omi drew the curtains and turned off the speaker before raising the lights. "Schu? I couldn't feel anything but a little irritation. You?"

"Nothing. Ran was nothing at all to him," Schuldig said harshly. By the window, from where he had not moved a centimetre, Ran bowed his head. "Are you happy now, Homura san? Pleased at the results?"

Omi went stiff. "The procedure seems to have worked perfectly, yes. Thank you for your hard work," he said formally, but with no real emotion in his voice.

Schuldig slammed the table with his fists. "Don't you fucking thank me, you little shit! And don't ever ask me or order me to do anything like this again, because I'll leave Weiss that second and put a bullet in my fucking brain before I let you bastards use my powers ever again! Wakarimasuka, Takatori Mamoru?" The sudden Japanese rang in raw and jagged syllables around the room. "Wakatta ka, omae?"

"Hai. Wakarimashita, Schuldig-san," Omi said coldly. "I understand your position perfectly. However, I'll need you to do the further erasure of this morning's events in a few minutes. Everyone, please wait here."

He stalked out and slammed the door. Schuldig slumped into a chair and put his head in his hands. Ran never moved or looked at any of them.

Ken and Louise looked at each other in shock. He was beginning to realise that the price to be paid for Yohji's mission was even higher than he'd thought. And now he wondered - was it too high for Weiss?

Omi arranged an Army driver to take Ran and Schuldig back to the apartments. Omi himself was going to travel back with Ken and Louise. Given the outright hostility between Ran's lover and his leader, it was felt a little space for both of them would be good.

Given that hostility, Ran thought he should be more disturbed about it than he was, but everything was coming to him in a kind of muffled way. He was aware of things like Omi telling that he and Schuldig were to go to Canberra in their own time, to work with the implant project team until Omi had further orders for them. He knew Schuldig had left him for a short while to carry out the short-term memory wipe on Yohji. He recalled that Ken and Louise had said very little but had looked somewhat distressed.

All these things were over 'there' - he saw them happening, knew they were things he needed to remember, but at that very point in time, he was just too ... tired? Was he just tired? He hadn't been sleeping at all, the bed was too empty, and the dreams too harsh. He suspected Schuldig had also not been resting at all. His lover's state bothered him. But it, too, was over 'there'.

He tried not to replay the encounter with Yohji in his mind, but it just wouldn't stop running over and over in his head. To see that look of disdain, of complete indifference in Yohji's eyes... to be of no consequence to him....

"Stop it," Schuldig said in a quiet, raw voice. "Ran, I haven't got shit for shields now, and your thoughts are leaking all over me."

"I'm sorry. Why don’t you...?" He mimed pressing buttons.

"Oh. I forgot," Schuldig said dully, but turned his controller off, a miniscule amount of the strain in his expression easing. "But you should stop anyway."

"I can't." And he couldn't. He folded his arms around himself, gripping his arms so tightly with his fingers that it hurt. The pain helped distract him a little.

"That's how I've felt for a fortnight," Schuldig said, looking at him and then turning away to stare out the window.

They were back at their home in another five minutes, and he trailed after Schuldig up to his apartment. His own seemed too...wrong without Yohji. Knowing Yohji wasn't just away, but missing.

Schuldig headed straight for his liquor cabinet and poured out a ridiculous amount of Scotch into a glass. He held it out to Ran who shook his head - he had little tolerance for hard spirits and the volume of alcohol in the glass Schuldig held would knock him out cold. Schuldig shrugged and then swallowed the whisky in a couple of greedy swallows as if it was no more than water, wiping his mouth sloppily afterwards. Ran vaguely wondered why he hadn't just drunk straight from the bottle.

Schuldig poured some more out for himself. "Drink with me, Ran," he said, raising his glass. "Drink to our glorious mission, and our wonderful leader, and the delightful cause we all work for."

"I don't think that's a good idea." But even as he said it, he found another glass and put it down on the counter for Schuldig to pour some whisky into. He made him stop when there was only a centimetre of fluid, and then he knocked it back as Schuldig had done, coughing a little as the spirit burned his throat. "Gods, I hate that stuff."

"But it does the job." Schuldig gulped his drink back, then wandered over to the sofa and sat down heavily, still clutching his glass and the Scotch bottle. After a little hesitation, Ran sat next to him and took both objects from his hands, so he could draw his lover into a hug. "One of these days, I'm going to turn my telepathy off, I'm going to smash that fucking controller and then I'll never have to do something like this again." His voice ended in a little hitching note, like a sob. "I'm sorry, Ran, I'm sorry...."

"Please don't, Schu," Ran murmured, close to tears himself, and the whisky already making it hard to keep control over himself. "You had to do it."

"I fucking hate Omi. I fucking hate ASIO. It hurt him, Ran. It tore him up. Knowing he was losing you, coming closer and closer to Asuka, that bitch Neu. And Omi watched it all. He didn't even twitch, the fucking little shit! He doesn't give a fuck about Yohji. All he cares about is the fucking mission."

Schuldig was actually crying a little now, his voice muffled and only half understandable against Ran's shirt, but Ran got what he said anyway. He stroked Schuldig's hair. "I know that's not true. You're just tired, not thinking straight. Don't say things now that will just upset us both."

Schuldig pushed him away roughly. "Fucking forgot he's your friend. Little Omittchi, can't do anything wrong, can he? Well, he can, Ran. He can fuck up pretty fucking badly, and he's fucked this up, and I let him. I'm the one who's evil - I should have stopped him." He jabbed a vicious finger into his temple. "This, I could have made him change his mind! I could have made him forget!"

Ran pulled him back against him. "No, you couldn't. You know you couldn't. Schu, don't do this. You know Yohji wouldn't want this."

"Yohji's gone, Ran. My Yohji's not there, not your Yohji either. I killed him."

Ran clutched Schuldig's face between his hands. "Stop it," he said roughly. "This is not doing us any good. Yohji's not dead. He's not even harmed, is he? Even if it hurt him, the memories are all there, right?" Schuldig stared at him dully. Ran shook him. "Are they?"

"Yeah. But...."

"Then stop this crap! All right, it's going to be hard on him, hard on us, but dammit, we've got through worse! Stop this self-pity, I can't deal with it."

Schuldig sneered. "Not unless it's your own, Liebling?" He drawled the German endearment that normally sounded so tender from his lips.

Ran scowled at him and picked up the bottle of Scotch. He sloshed some of it into each of their glasses and picking up his own, he thrust Schuldig's at him. "Here, get drunk, just don't start eating your young. Yes, I am self-pitying, yes, I don't deserve Yohji. You figured that out two fucking years ago. You don't need to remind me, there's nothing wrong with my memory."

He got up and stalked out onto the balcony, going to lean on the rail, looking at the busy road just a little distant, the people going about their normal lives. People who had never heard of telepathy, or Estet, or assassins. He envied them so much he could taste it. He washed the bitterness away with the sharpness of the Scotch. He supposed it was probably good stuff - Schuldig only drank the best - but it could have been petrol for all the pleasure it gave him.

He jumped as arms slid around his waist. " I'm sorry, Ran. I truly am. That was unforgivable of me."

"I forgive you anyway," he said irritably, feeling the whisky hitting him and belatedly thinking that it probably really hadn't been a good idea to drink, not when he was already so exhausted and fraught. It only gave the illusion of peace, he knew. The problems would be there when he sobered up. "We just can't do this, Schu. Recriminations, anger, insults - don't you think I know better than most how well they don't work?"

Schuldig made him turn around, and then slung his arms over Ran's shoulders, looking at him with eyes that were both sad and regretful. "I know. It's just been a hard couple of weeks and I wished to God Omi had let you be with me. At least I could have talked to someone about it then."

"He's upset too, Schu. About Yohji, and about you. You know Yohji would hate this."

Schuldig laid his cheek against Ran's. "I don't know how not to do this. I'm so angry at him, this whole thing...I want to crush something, destroy something... that's what I always do. I'm afraid I'll just crush you."

"No, you're not strong enough. You might be a telepath, but I can kick your ass any day of the week."

Schuldig pulled back to look at him, and gave him a watery smile. "One of these days I'll put that to the test, Ran." He put his head back on Ran's shoulder. "I'm so fucking tired, I can't think straight. I don't know what day it is - I have no idea what time it is."

"It's Friday, and it's eleven o'clock. In the morning," he clarified, thinking it was entirely possible Schuldig didn't even realise that. "Look, the only place I want to be is with you, and you need to be in bed, and I want to go to bed with you. Is there any good reason for us to stand here when we could go to bed together?"

"At this hour of the morning? You're getting soft."

"You're getting punchy. Move," he said, shoving Schuldig back through the doors and closing them. "I haven't had a single decent night's sleep since you two left and I don't give a damn about the time."

Schuldig stopped and put his hands on Ran's shoulders, holding him still. "Nightmares? Or just worry?"

"Both. Would you expect anything else?" he said, now definitely feeling drunk, and a little belligerent with it. "Is there a damn thing you can do about it?"

Schuldig drew him close. "Yes. I can love you," he murmured. "That’s all we have for now."

"Then will you please come to bed?" he begged. "I just want not to think for a while. Help me not to think, Schu."

"I can do that. I'm very good at that," his lover said, not without some bitterness. But it was true. He was good at that.

"Would you like to come in for lunch, coffee maybe?" Louise asked Omi as they got out of Ken's car. "You look tired."

"Thank you, I am, so I'd rather go upstairs. I'll see you before I go to Toowoomba, I'm sure."

Ken felt he should insist that Omi come in and eat at least, but the younger man was already walking away. "God," Louise said simply. "What a morning, eh?"

"You can say that again. Hand me those folders, Lou." They'd been given a stack of briefing material at the army base that they would all need to read.

There were faxes waiting in memory, and Ken printed them out as Louise began to sift through the folders. There was one from Greg Norton who was taking over from Jensen while the captain was in Singapore working with Yohji. He was asking about the new team that Ran was to go into the field with, but which now was in limbo. Omi had said he was going to go to Toowoomba to talk to Norton about the situation, and the fax detailed some trivial matters he wanted to raise. It could definitely wait until Ken saw Omi next. But... he was uneasily aware that Omi was alone upstairs, and he'd had a real mauling from Schuldig while they were all there. More than that, Yohji's mission had to be affecting him to some extent - even if it was only because he was losing the person he relied on to stabilise and centre his empathy.

"I'm going to see Omi," he told Louise, putting the fax in his lap and wheeling towards the door.

"Didn't he just say he was going to sleep?"

"Yeah. But this is important." If she thought he meant the fax, then at least he hadn't lied directly. And it was important, he felt instinctively.

He took the lift to the first floor and knocked on Omi's door. It took longer than he thought usual for Omi to answer the door, and he began to think that perhaps Omi was in the shower, or even asleep, even though it had been barely ten minutes since they'd parted. But finally the door opened, and a rumpled looking Omi stood there, staring at Ken as if he'd forgotten that other people lived in the building. "What's happened? Is there a problem?"

"Fax, from Greg Norton." He handed it to Omi and then began to wheel forward, forcing Omi to either block his path or let him through.

Omi let him into the flat as he read the page, then frowned. "This isn't particularly important, Ken. Not enough for you to bring it up here."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to know how you were."

Omi rubbed his forehead. "Same as I was just a few minutes ago, Ken. Look, I'm tired...."

"I can see that. Is that all you are?"

Omi stared at him. "Huh?"

Normally Omi was a lot sharper than this, so Ken knew he hadn't been lying when he said he was tired. But Omi was also not above a little play acting if he could avoid a confrontation about personal matters. "Look, we all saw Schu bitch you out. Are you saying you're not upset about that? Or about Yohji?"

Omi hitched himself up onto a kitchen stool. "Schuldig is always bitching me out lately, Ken. And since I'm the one responsible for Yohji, then if I'm bothered, that's only fair, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but...."

"I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine. Please just let me have a nap, I've been up half the night."

Ken looked at him narrowly. "Yeah? Why?"

Omi glared at him, tight-lipped. "Is this really any of your concern, Ken?"

"Omi, when did anything to do with you guys stop being my concern? When did I stop being your friend and lose the right to ask what's up with you? I'm not talking to my boss, I'm talking to my friend. Or do I need permission to do that now too?"

Omi stared at him, his mouth open a little. "No...no, of course not. I just...I...." He covered his mouth suddenly, the way he used to when he was younger and was worried he'd said too much, or was embarrassed.

But then he began to shake. "Omi? Are you okay?" Ken asked in alarm.

"I...I...."

Ken wheeled quickly over to him, and put his hand on Omi's knee. "It's okay, Omittchi. Come and sit where I can see you." He reached up and tugged Omi's hand and led his friend over the armchair where they were finally at equal height. Omi covered his mouth again and then, to Ken's sadness, he saw his big blue eyes start to fill up. He put his arm around Omi's shoulder and pulled him close, remembering just in time to make sure his own mental shields were up so he didn't compound Omi's distress.

Omi began to cry, very quietly, his face against Ken's shirt. Ken hadn't seen Omi cry in years. Not since he'd been rescued from the Estet facility and... well, after everything that had happened, of course he was entitled to cry. But not since then. Not once.

He patted Omi's back gently and made soothing sounds, only knowing how to deal with children's tears, not those of grown men, but that was okay. Part of him would always see Omi as a kid, even though he was so far from being that now, and probably never really had been one.

"I'm sorry, " he heard Omi mumble, before he struggled up out of Ken's arms. "I should have more control."

"Sure you should. And then you can go stark raving mad in a year or two from stress. Wanna tell me what happened?"

Omi wiped his nose on his arm, and then pulled out a packet of tissues to blow his nose properly. He clutched the used tissue in his hand. "There's nothing much to tell."

"Was Schu mean to you like that the whole two weeks?"

"No...no.... He was angry, but he barely spoke to me. I...I watched him working with Yohji...I got them to film it."

"Gods, Omi, what the fuck for?" Ken asked, astonished and vaguely horrified.

"So if we ever have to do this again, we know what's involved." Omi's voice held a trace of coldness, as if he felt Ken was criticising him.

"But why did you watch... wait, were you monitoring them? You had your shields down, you felt Schu, and Yohji... Omi, did you feel everything?"

Omi nodded slowly, and another tear slid down his cheek. "I felt I owed them that," he said almost in a whisper. "I wanted to know what I was asking them to do. And I found out."

Ken reached over and gave Omi's shoulder a comforting rub. "Kid, that wasn't real bright if you ask me."

"I had to know, Ken. I had to know if it was bearable, if I was asking Yohji to endure what I couldn't, ask Schu that...."

"And ... was it?"

Omi stared and then nodded. "Just, only just," he whispered, and then began to cry again.

"Oh, Omittchi," Ken said, hugging him again. "Why did you do that to yourself? Yohji would kill you if he found out."

"Had to, Ken. Schuldig thinks I'm a coward, making Yohji do what I can't. And I can't...I couldn't do this...."

"It's okay, kid, really," he said, patting Omi's back again.

"No it's not!" Omi yelled. "I made... I made the two people I'm the most fond of in the world next to you and Ran...suffer. I tortured them, I forced Schu to do it, and I let Yohji guilt himself into it! I'm no fucking better than my father, or Estet or any of them! Schu's right, I'm just a fucking Takatori!"

"Omi!" Ken said, alarmed at the anger and near- hysteria in Omi's tirade of self-hatred. "Stop it! You're not like them. Schu's wrong and he's cruel, you know he is!"

"So am I, Ken! I'm like him. I'm a killer, I'm a paranormal, I only care about the ones I love and even them I hurt. I'm worse than him - he would never ask me to do this to Yohji." Omi covered his face. "Yohji saved me, saved us all. Schuldig saved my life. And look how I repay them." He pulled his hands away. "I'm not fit to lead this team. I'm going to quit."

"No! Omi, stop this right now. Schu's the only one to question your leadership...."

"No. Ran and Yohji too. They thought I was bullying Schuldig. And I was, Ken. I was so focussed on what I wanted, that I wouldn't listen and I forced him into it. I am a coward and I intend to resign."

He tried to stand up but Ken used all his considerable upper body power to hold him down. "No way, Omi. You listen to me. You wanted to lead, so lead. It's gonna be tough, and you're gonna take the shit, and I know you can do that. So you made a mistake, so you think you could have done better. Two things - who will lead the team? And what was the alternative to Yohji having his memory wiped?"

Omi struggled against Ken's grip but it was only a token effort. "Ran can lead. He's good enough."

"Yeah, he is. But he doesn't want to, and frankly, he's not as good as you. He couldn't handle those Canberra types. He'd be waving his katana around and yelling 'Die, you fuckers' within a month." Omi managed a hint of a smile at that. "Which leaves me, Lou and Schu. Me, forget it. Louise, forget it. Schu...are you fucking kidding? Really?"

Omi wiped his nose again. "I guess not."

"Yeah. Not. Now, the other plan. Was it as good as this one? Was it a lower risk? Was Yohji safer, more likely to succeed?"

"No," Omi said quietly. "It was certainly riskier, and would put more strain on Yohji over the life of the mission. This one was more pain at the beginning, but easier in the long term."

"And we know which one Yotan would want, right? An easy life, every time." Omi actually grinned. "Omi, you've answered your own arguments. I don't know how bad it was for him...."

"Bad. He cried, Ken. And so did Schu. I made myself stay. Schuldig hates me for that."

Fucking Schuldig, Ken thought angrily, not for the first in his long acquaintance with the German. "He'll get over it. He's got Ran to help him. Right now, I'm worried about you, kid. Why don't you take some time off? You must have months' worth of leave you haven't taken. You haven't had a holiday since we came to Australia."

"I spent two years doing nothing, Ken. I don't think I need a rest now." To Ken's regret, he could see Omi snapping back into leader mode, even as his tears were still forming wet trails on his face.

"Bullshit. Omi, downtime is important in our jobs, and you insist on it for everyone but yourself. Why do you get to burn yourself out when you won't let us do it? Do you realise what it would do to this team if you died or got seriously ill?"

"Don't exaggerate, Ken. I'm not at risk of that."

Ken snorted. "You damn well are. You're a bachelor with no romantic attachments, you have no outlets other than your job, you won't take time off, you spend weekends and evenings doing paperwork - Omi, you're a text book case for a nervous breakdown! And that's before you factor in your empathy and stupid stunts like letting two emotionally charged individuals spew their crap all over you!"

Omi shifted away in the chair, as if he would really prefer to get away from Ken. "I run, I work out. I'm as fit as any of you."

"Omi," Ken sighed. "There's more to relaxation than that and you know it. Rest for your mind - especially your mind - is like exercise for your body. Take some time off, even just a week. Please - before you fall apart."

"I can't. There's too much to do."

"There is always too much to do. A weekend then? Go up to the coast, or up to Mount Tamborine?" Omi shook his head. Ken wanted to shake him. "You know, when Yohji gets back, I'm gonna make him read you the fucking Riot act."

Omi did stand now. "When Yohji gets back, I'll be delighted to let him. Until then, how could I possibly rest or have a holiday when my friend is risking his life for all of us?"

"I should put you on tape, you know? If you had to listen to this bull from any of us, you'd plough right through us. All right. But I'm not getting off your case about this, Omi Tsukiyono, and you need to cut down."

"I might be going on field exercises next week, that should count as a break," Omi said with something of his normal cheerfulness, although it was clearly forced.

Ken just rolled his eyes. "Hopeless. Look, at least come to supper. Come down when you've had a nap. Dammit, let me do my job which is to make yours easier!"

"You do make it easier, Ken, but some things I have to do myself."

"And what about Schuldig?"

Omi's weariness appeared to descend on him all at once again. "I don't know. I'm afraid I'm losing him from the team, pushing him away. I don't know what to do."

"Let me handle that," Ken said firmly. "Have you got any objections if Lou and I go to Canberra next week after they do?"

"No, if that's convenient, do it. There's no pressing reason to be here with four of us away."

"Fine, then I'll talk to Schuldig and Ran then. But Omi, whatever happens - this is not your fault. You made the right call, and I'll fight anyone who says different."

Omi smiled, and although it was tired-looking, it seemed sincere. "Thank you. I honestly appreciate it." He covered his mouth again, but this time to hide a yawn. "Sorry."

"Go to bed, Omittchi. And come down to supper or I'll come looking for you."

"Yes, sir, Saki-san."

"Piss off," Ken said with a grin. He wheeled himself out of the apartment, wishing he'd been able to do more for Omi, but recognising there was only so much he could do when Omi was so resistant. He really was going to put Yohji on the case when he got back.

If he got back.

Chapter Text

Even though the circumstances were not what he would have wanted, Ran was grateful for two things. First, Omi had let him and Schuldig get out of Brisbane, and away from him. This meant the inevitable (as Ran saw it) collision between the two paranormals was delayed until some later point at which, it was to be hoped, tempers and emotions would have cooled. It made him anxious and tense to have his loyalties split this way – between lover and close friend, between boss and colleague. Both men were hurting, both felt they had acted as they had to. Ran was well aware how that felt. Until Omi and Schuldig got a little perspective, it was definitely better they did not meet.

The second mercy was being able to be with Schuldig during the now intense preparations for the first volunteer to receive their implant. Ran knew he wouldn't be going on a mission for the foreseeable future. Omi had decided no more members of Weiss would go into the field or out of the country at least until the situation with Yohji was certain – the overt consideration was undoubtedly because he was expecting intelligence which would affect future plans. The unspoken one was if Yohji was captured or killed, Omi wanted the rest of his team where he could protect them and they could get through it.

What this meant was that Ran could see at first hand just what pressure Schuldig was being put under, and while he couldn't exactly help him, he could try and take some of the emotional strain – an unfamiliar role for him – by letting Schuldig vent, giving his company and his understanding, and helping to give Schuldig the home life which was a such a new and precious experience for him.

He had a role in the experiments as well – all of Weiss were used to being begged to come in to help the scientists calibrate this or that machine, to run this or that test and so on. His own minor abilities were of considerable interest – something that did not please Schuldig at all, but it was rather too late to conceal them. The timetables kept contracting – Schuldig had thought it would be a month at least before the first implant was placed, but they learned that this had been advanced, and so by the end of the week after they'd returned to Canberra, the first volunteer was being readied for the operation the following Monday. As the deadline approached, Schuldig's temper and his emotions became more volatile. It seemed nothing Ran could do or say could please him, and he was snapped at a dozen times a day as the operation drew near.

Now, if it had been Yohji doing this, Ran would have gone off in a cold rage, and waited for Yohji to apologise for his poor manners. But Ran had learned a few things from his life with Yohji, and more importantly from nearly two years of exposure to Schuldig. One was that Schuldig really didn't know how to deal with his negative emotions, and if he wasn't allowed to give vent to them, he became withdrawn and depressed, filled with self-loathing. It was better, Ran had slowly learned, to endure a few minutes' tantrum than days of coldness. Another thing he knew was that Schuldig had been schooled to see almost everything as a potential attack. Ran, at least, had had seventeen years of a loving, stable home life before it had all fallen apart. Schuldig didn't talk about his childhood, but Yohji had picked up a little and passed it on to Ran, from which he gathered that Schuldig had been neglected and maltreated for much of his younger years, and then the regime at Rosenkrüs was not a gentle one. If Ran responded to his outbursts with an actual attack, all of Schuldig's instincts were brought on line, and it could get very ugly, very fast. This had only happened a couple of times, and Yohji had been there before to help things cool down. But it had come close to a full-on argument many times, avoided only by the care that all of them put into this complex relationship.

Ran believed in preparation, and knowing his mission plan. Even before he'd fallen in love with Schuldig, he'd recognised he was a far more difficult and touchy proposition to work with and partner than Yohji, who was easy going about most things and too lazy to hold a grudge. Therefore he'd spent a lot of time observing his man even before their relationship had changed, and he now brought all that knowledge to bear, not only for his own peace of mind, but for that of his two lovers. He felt he was now doing what Yohji had done in the dark years after Aya had died, keeping their lives and their relationship going during the difficult times, so when things got better, there was a future for them. This time Yohji wasn't expected to be gone for years – but he was going to be gone for several months at least, and it would stretch all of Ran's limited skills in people handling to stop Schuldig imploding. Especially as Omi, the other brake on Schuldig, was, for the moment, not available to help.

So he kept his cool and tried to listen to the anxiety behind the short temper, and recognise how desperately Schuldig wanted not to drive him away while needing to use Ran as a safe target. It wasn't easy for Ran, used to relying on Yohji to smooth his path with others, but he tried as much for Yohji's sake as Schuldig's, to honour the example that Yohji had set for him.

After a week in the labs, and evenings spent either arguing with, trying not to argue with or soothing his troubled lover, Ran wasn't sure how he felt about the email he'd got from Ken saying that he and Louise were coming down for a week or so. On one hand, it would help to have more of the team around to absorb some of the stress. Schuldig liked Louise, even if Louise was a little uncertain about him – of him and Ran, if Ran was completely honest. But then Ran wasn't entirely comfortable around her – he still found it hard to open up to strangers, and although she wasn't a stranger any more, the fact of her being married to Ken made her a marvellous and curious creature to Ran. He'd never expected any of them to marry in a conventional way, and so Louise was a miracle, inspiring a kind of awe which created distance between them. He knew this was stupid, and he tried very hard to be friendly, but her brown eyes were a bit too perceptive for a man who liked his privacy.

Ken was a two-edged sword. He was a friend, solid and reliable and utterly loyal to all of them, including Schuldig. But he and Schuldig tended to spark off each other, and in Schuldig's present raw state and with (Ran had to admit) his own struggle to deal with Yohji's absence and his feelings about that, he wasn't sure how their visit would go.

Unusually, Schuldig had cooked a couple of evenings this week – simple meals that didn't stretch his limited skills – and had offered to do so again tonight, so Ran was now sitting at the counter, watching his preparations, ready to offer assistance or retrieve any disaster. They'd been to the gym and were both showered and refreshed, but Schuldig was looking frayed. Neither of them were sleeping well – in fact, a couple of mornings this week, Ran had woken alone, Schuldig having fled to his old room because he was reluctant to further disturb Ran's sleep with his own restlessness.

Ran found himself missing Yohji particularly this night, because he dared not mention his concerns to Schuldig. Schuldig was now turning his controller off routinely in the evening – indeed, he only had his telepathy active for the bare number of hours he needed to during the day. It was as if he'd conceived an active hatred of his abilities. It did at least mean that Ran knew his emotions were not going to be read by a cranky telepath.

Even with the exercise and the shower, and his tiredness, Schuldig still seemed tense and he was frankly making a complete mess of the food. Finally, Ran reached over and took the knife away from him out of sheer mercy. Schuldig flung up his hands and stomped away from the counter over to the living room. Ran looked at the massacre of the greens, scraped it all into the composting bin, and made a quiet call to their usual Vietnamese takeaway for their usual order. Then he went over and sat in the chair opposite Schuldig. "Are you worried the chip won't work – or that it will?"

Schuldig snorted and looked away. "They don't know what they're playing at. Did you ever read Frankenstein, Ran?"

He frowned. "The monster?"

"No. Frankenstein was the doctor who made the monster. The Modern Prometheus. The man who stole fire from the gods and paid the price. These scientists are about to do what Estet have been doing – are they really ready for what that means? How that might change their organisation, their society? If we can make telepaths at will, empaths, precogs – have they thought about the effect on the new paranormals? No one – no one – is thinking about this, Ran. I've lived with being a freak all my life. The only time I wasn't a freak was when I was with other freaks. It changes a person, having this power. It scares those without it – look at you. Don't tell me that my power doesn't worry you sometimes, even now."

"Sometimes," Ran admitted.

"And you know more about it than most people do. It's like the people who split the atom. Do you think they anticipated Hiroshima? But they should have."

"The Australians are good people, not Estet, Schu." He moved over to the sofa and Schuldig put his arm around him.

"Power tends to corrupt, Ran. Look at me. Look at Reiji Takatori. To answer your question, I'm more afraid of success, although I think I will really go mad if I have to run one more of their fucking tests."

His tone made it clear he wasn't joking in the least. "So what do you want to do?"

Schuldig kissed him. "I keep thinking what Brad would do." Ran stiffened – while Schuldig had redeemed himself, Brad Crawford was another thing entirely. "Oh, calm down. You asked, and it's only you and me here. I just feel like doing what he did to the Elders – sabotage the whole scheme and run like hell."

Ran twisted and looked into Schuldig's eyes. "So why haven't you?"

Schuldig smiled ruefully. "Lots of reasons. I'm not clever enough to pull it off. Then I'd have to leave you, Yohji, my cushy life, and I'm kind of fond of all three for some strange reason. And even at the price of all that, I probably wouldn't do more than delay them, which only helps Estet. Even if I refused to cooperate, either Omi would manipulate me again or they'd just lock me up until I agreed. I'm a prisoner again, Ran. Just with prettier, more civilised jailors."

"No," Ran protested. "You're not a prisoner."

"Yeah? They took my passport away, did you know that? They're so scared I'm going to run back to Germany, or back to Estet – as if. Every move I make is tracked, everything I do is logged. If Omi was serious about forcing me out of Weiss, I'd be in custody in under a day. To tell you the truth, I think they're hoping he will. They don't like Weiss giving me any autonomy. I'm their most precious commodity. Even if I die, I think they're planning to auction my head off by the milligram."

Ran stared at him. "I had no idea of any of this, Schu. This is wrong – does Omi know about this?"

Schuldig laughed bitterly. "Who do you think asked for my passport? And made it clear what would happen if I refused?"

Ran was aghast. How could Omi...? "Why didn't you say something to me, to Yohji? We could...."

"What? Fight ASIO? Challenge Omi? Liebling, you're no more free than me. None of you are." Schuldig stroked his hair gently. "Ach, listen to me. I'm just depressed and tired. I have a good life, I shouldn't complain. And better these guys than Estet, right?"

Ran let Schuldig kiss him again but he wasn't going to let this drop. "Schu, what's the point of us fighting an oppressor if we’re being oppressed in turn?"

"You haven't seen oppression for real. This is tiddlywinks compared with what Rosenkrüs and Estet would do. I can't leave the country, I can't work for anyone else unless I want to become a fugitive. Other than that, they just watch me. No one tells me who I can sleep with, or talk to, or what I do in my free time."

"But your passport.... They promised that if you didn't break the law, you'd be a free man."

Schuldig kissed his forehead and drew him close. "I am. Mostly. Look, I'm just worried and stressed out. You don't need to do anything, Ran. In fact, I want you to promise that you won't say anything to Omi about this."

Ran was torn. The injustice of it burned him. On the other hand, he knew that the Australians had made a huge concession in letting Schuldig walk around freely, although the benefits were most certainly not one-sided. "I will only promise to do so up to the point where you are actively disadvantaged or discriminated against, Schuldig. After that, I will fight this until something changes. So will Yohji and Ken. It is simply wrong for one of Weiss to be treated as less than the others, when you've abided by every restriction they've asked of you, and I will never accept it."

"Ah, Ran, this is what I love about you, and what drives me crazy about you," Schuldig said, his arm tightening around Ran's shoulders. "I'm sorry. I'm being anxious for no good purpose. I suppose my main practical concern is that the only person who can train any new paranormals is me, and I never paid that much attention to the theory when I was in Rosenkrüs. New telepaths can be a bit ... well, they can go off the rails, suddenly hearing everyone else's thoughts, finding out your co-workers think you're a bit of a dick, that the woman in the shop thinks you're ugly or fat or stupid... all the casual judgements, comments, secrets, suddenly in your head. We've explained to the volunteers, and I've tried to give them a little taste of what's involved...." He shrugged and then laid his head back against the sofa. "If I wasn't so goddamn tired all the time...."

Ran slipped his hand up behind Schuldig's neck and began to rub the tense muscles there. He wasn't as good as Yohji or Schuldig at massage, but all of them had learned how to do it after the four of them had been injured. He didn't seem to have the knack that Yohji had of instinctively knowing what was right or felt nice, but he had a theoretical knowledge of the muscle groups as good as any physiotherapist, so he used that to try and help Schuldig now. It seemed to be appreciated – Schuldig sat forward and dropped his head to let Ran have better access. For long minutes he said nothing at all.

Ran's mind was half concentrating on his task, and the other on what Schuldig had said. It appalled him that his lover had been carrying this burden on his own, and none of them had been there to help him. It made him furious to find that Omi was actively conspiring to keep Schuldig under control in this humiliating fashion – and yet, he was worried sick that if Omi cut Schuldig loose, he would lose Schuldig to some faceless scientists who would lock him up and experiment on him. If that ever happened – to any of them – Ran vowed that he would leave Weiss and never rest until he'd found and rescued Schuldig. Or joined him in the next cage. He knew Yohji felt the same, at least about him, and once Ran told him about all this, about Schuldig too, he was sure.

"Calm down, Liebling," Schuldig murmured, lifting his head. "That's my neck, not Reiji Takatori's."

Ran lifted his hand. "I'm sorry – did I hurt you?"

"No, but you were getting a little forceful. Ran, I didn't mean to upset you with all this."

"I'm more upset that you didn't tell me, Schuldig. Don't you trust me, trust Yohji?"

Schuldig's mouth twisted wryly. "I don't trust anyone, fundamentally. I have to keep reminding myself that I can, with you and Yohji. I just... didn't think there was any purpose in telling you. There still isn't. Maybe I should make you forget...."

"No! Don't ever...." Ran glared furiously at his lover. "Never change my memories, good or bad, Schuldig! Please – when I thought... having those gaps was the worst thing.... And never think you have to hide what is bothering you, from either of us. Yohji would wring your damn neck, never mind me. Even if we can't help, we love you and we want to... share that burden." He smiled self-deprecatingly. "Yohji kept saying that to me for two years, and I didn't listen. I wish I had, Schuldig. It would have been so much better for both of us."

Schuldig picked up his hand and kissed it. "Perhaps, Ran. Certainly for him. But you did what you thought you had to, I know that now. So does he. He doesn't resent it. I'm like you, I suppose. I don't like to expose my hurts. And this... this is ... I don't know what this is. If I choose to go on, behaving myself, I have no difficulties with Omi or ASIO. It's not just for them, it's for you and Yohji. I know you want me to stay out of trouble, so it's easy to. But I just wonder if they will come up with more things to make me do which I can't fit with my personal desires – like make me hurt one of you. Again," he amended dryly.

"And this is why we need to know," Ran said firmly. "Don't conceal the mission facts, and let us help you find an answer. "

Schuldig smiled and kissed his hand again. "You have such confidence in some things, Ran, and so little in others. All right. I promise not to fuck with your head, and I promise to try and keep you informed. But you can't talk to Omi about this...."

"... Unless...."

"....Unless those high moral principles of yours are offended, yes, I know."

Ran punched his arm, and not gently either. "Moron. Unless you're being hurt. Is it so hard to understand that I would want to help you? Do I come across as that callous?"

Schuldig rubbed his arm and made a face at the pain. "No, you don't. At least, not to me, not any more," he answered with admirable, if less than tactful honesty, before leaning over to be kissed. "Tell me we can sleep in tomorrow?"

"I can email Ken and tell them to take a taxi from the airport, or I can collect them on my own."

Schuldig groaned. "Oh, yes, please."

The doorbell went, and Ran checked the outside monitor – the food had arrived. "Let's eat and have an early night. I'll email Ken after supper, and then I'm going to help you sleep well."

Schuldig just smiled. "You can certainly have fun trying, Liebling."

Gods, I miss Yohji, Ran thought as he went to collect the food.

Getting a taxi to collect Ken didn't actually make Ran's rising time that much later – he wanted to be up and ready to greet his team mates so that they didn't disturb a still (thankfully) sleeping Schuldig. He was just sipping his first cup of tea when he heard the taxi, and so he went out to the front to meet the arrivals. He was slightly surprised that only Ken emerged from the modified car. "Hey," Ken said cheerfully. "Louise went straight to her parents. They're heading off to Perth tonight, so they want her to feed the cats while she's down here. She'll pick up our car."

Ran nodded. It seemed innocent – but it wasn't usual, and anything unusual always made him suspicious. "Please keep your voice down – Schu's still asleep."

Ken looked at his watch. It was eight – not particularly late for a Saturday, but it wasn't normal for Ran to be up and Schuldig not, and Ken clearly noted that. "Is he still tired?"

"Very much so. I'm quite concerned about his health."

Ken stopped wheeling his chair up the path and looked up at him. "Really?"

"Yes. I need to talk to you about it."

"That's handy, because I need to talk to you about Omi."

Ran blocked his path. "Don't bring him up in front of Schu. Not now, Ken. Not unless you want things to turn very nasty."

Ken's expression was mulish. "Yeah? And what do you suppose we do about the fact that Omi's falling apart from stress and no one seems to give a damn except me?"

Ran was unsympathetic. "I would care more about his stress if he wasn't causing Schu so much of it. I find it hard to forgive some of the things I've discovered about Omi's behaviour lately."

"And who are you to judge, Ran? You're content to criticise but do you carry any of that burden yourself? Who has to make these decisions?"

Ran put Ken's bag down and folded his arms. "You speak as if Omi has no other choice. But we always made these decisions before in tandem. When did Weiss become a dictatorship? The last I looked, we weren't Schwarz."

He'd kept his voice deliberately low, conscious this was a sensitive conversation to have in the open, but Ken still looked around to see who was listening. "Let's take this inside."

"No. I forbid it, Ken. You will not raise this with Schuldig, or he and I will leave this morning. He's a hair's breadth from cracking, and I'm not losing another team mate because of Omi's carelessness."

Ken glared and pushed his chair – Ran blocked him again and used his considerable strength to stop Ken forcing his way past him. "You bastard," Ken swore quietly. "When did Omi become the enemy?"

"When he became more concerned with ASIO's needs than ours, and when he's concealed facts from us that we should know. I will not allow those I love to be hurt, Ken. Not even by a friend."

The two men glared until a passing car drew attention to the fact they were still conducting Weiss business in a suburban front yard. "We need to talk – not here," Ran finally said. "I'll get the car. Wait for me."

He picked up the bags and took them into the house, before going into the bedroom. Schuldig was awake, but clearly not ready to get up. Ran sat next to him and brushed his hair off his face. "Hi. How do you feel?"

Schuldig nuzzled against his hand. "Muzzy," he said in a quiet, hoarse voice.

Ran felt his forehead and to his alarm, noticed it was rather hot. "Have you got a cold?"

"Sore throat," Schuldig confirmed and this time he winced.

Ran swore. He could have seen this coming. Schuldig was rather prone to respiratory infections – at least, more than the others were – and it was worse when he was stressed. "Then stay in bed. I'll get some aspirin. You go back to sleep."

Schuldig nodded. "They here?" he whispered.

"Yes, but I have to go with Ken... over to Louise's parents," he lied quickly. "I'll be back in an hour. You'll be okay until then, right?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

Ran bent and kissed him. "Unless you've been licking Petri dishes laden with rhinovirus, Schu, I can't see how you could have deliberately have given yourself a cold."

He fetched the aspirin and some juice, by now well-practiced in the care and feeding of a sick Schuldig. He was even more glad he'd caught Ken before his colleague had carried out his obvious plan of charging in and attacking Schuldig for being 'mean' to Omi. If Ran saw his leader in the next few days, he'd be considerably more than 'mean' to him, that was for sure.

"Something wrong?" Ken asked as Ran backed the car out into the driveway and helped his friend into the front seat before stowing his chair.

"Schu's sick," he said curtly. "We're lucky it's only a cold."

"Are you sure that's all it is?"

"That's what it looks like." He hesitated, then asked, "Any word...?"

"Only that they're in position. That's good, Ran. Means things are going smoothly."

Ran nodded. It was only what he expected, but it was still good to hear it from a human being. He wasn't allowed to discuss it on the phone with anyone, and in email, there was a restricted code which basically could tell him if anything really bad happened to Yohji – but nothing much short of that. Ken saw the encrypted messages from Jensen directly and was responsible for disseminating them to the necessary people on this side. He would be the first person – even before Omi – who would hear if there was a problem.

But there was something else they needed to talk about. "Ken, did you know Omi took Schuldig's passport off him at ASIO's request?"

"No – are you sure?"

Ran glanced quickly at Ken as he drove, and saw nothing but genuine puzzlement. "Schu said Omi asked him for it. He says he's under surveillance the whole time, and that they're just itching to get him out of Weiss so they can keep him under lock and key. And he believes Omi is colluding in that. I have to say it is consistent with some things I've observed."

"No way, Ran! Omi was crying... he was so upset about Yohji and Schuldig, what he saw... and he said he was afraid of losing Schuldig from the team."

Ran grunted. Omi's crying could be significant – or it could be nothing. The boy used to cry like a fountain when he was younger, although Ran had to admit he'd become much more withdrawn and reserved as he'd got older. It also could be a clever act to fool the openhearted Ken. Ran personally believed Omi was more than capable of such deception if he thought the cause was sufficient.

He drove them up to the Mount Ainslie lookout – it was still early enough for them to be able to talk without curious onlookers wondering why two men were sitting in a car instead of getting out and enjoying the views. "Has Omi discussed Schuldig's situation with you at all, Ken?'

Ken's forehead wrinkled as he thought. "Only the thing about him not leaving Australia and not going on critical missions for the time being. And I talked to him about the implant thing before he left for Toowoomba." Ran frowned at that. "Hey, it's my goddamn body, Ran."

"Yes. I just wonder... you talk about Omi being under stress, and you put that on him?"

"He didn't seem to mind. And he agreed," Ken said rather defensively. "He said it was up to me. We're not talking about that now. Are you saying that Omi is trying to get rid of Schuldig?"

"I'm saying that I wouldn't put it past Omi to sacrifice someone who wasn't Weiss from the start for his own purposes, which may be to strengthen Weiss – or it might be to strengthen his own position. After all, Omi won't be leading Weiss forever, Ken. We could die, get injured – just get too old. And where will that leave him?"

"Alone," Ken said grimly. "Just think about his side for a minute, Ran. I've got Lou, you've got Yohji and Schuldig. And who does he have?"

"Whoever he wants," Ran said with some irritation. "And he would have all of us to support him if he didn't choose to be so secretive."

Ken laughed derisively. "So says Mr 'I'm an open Book' Fujimiya. I'm serious, Ran. The kid's cracking up."

"So is Schuldig. But the difference is that Omi is the master of his destiny, and people are treating Schuldig like a trained monkey and with as few rights. I won't allow them to take him away," Ran added fiercely. "I won't. Neither will Yohji. If I have to go to Singapore and get him home to fight this, I will, Ken. I don't care if you oppose me."

Ken held his hands up. "Wait a minute, Ran. Where did you get the idea I'm any happier about this than you are? I'm just not sure I believe Omi is the one we need to fight. How do you know he even has any choice in this? How do you know he's not being forced to do this to Schuldig?"

"I don't," Ran admitted. "But he could have confided in us. I don't like this kind of thing being kept from us, not when it affects us so intimately."

"Yeah, I can understand that." Ken sighed and tapped his fingers against the dashboard. "So we have two immediate problems – Omi and Schuldig cracking up – and one longer term, which is how we keep Schu out of the evil clutches of...who, Ran? ASIO? They're the good guys."

"I'm beginning to hate that expression," Ran muttered. "I don't know. I think Omi does. Schuldig does, but I'm not asking him just yet."

"He was a prick to Omi, you know."

Ran turned and glared coldly at Ken. "Omi was just as much a prick to him, and Omi didn't have to erase the memory of his lover."

"Omi watched, Ran. With his empathy unshielded. So everything Schuldig and Yohji felt, he felt. Everything you felt when you saw him, Omi felt. What do you think that was like? I mean, it was fucking horrible just seeing it from the outside. Schu described the difference between empathy and telepathy to me and Yohji once. He said it was the difference between seeing a pot of hot water and being boiled alive. Omi was being boiled alive, Ran – and he did it because he felt he deserved it."

Ran was shocked by this, to be sure – but also a little sceptical. "Are you sure he wasn't lying to you?"

Ken's mouth turned down in anger. "I've known Omi a long time, Ran. All I can go on is my gut instinct, same as you. You think you know Schu isn't lying to you, and I think the same about Omi. It's possible that both are telling the truth. Omi has always acted in Weiss' best interest, long before you even joined."

Ran didn't care for the reminder that he was a Johnny-come-lately compared to Ken and the others. "He acted in Kritiker's interest, Ken – above Weiss. Always. And now there is ASIO, above Weiss. Who is he loyal to?"

"Us," Ken said firmly. "Everything is for us, I know it."

"And Schuldig? Is he one of us, to Omi?"

Ken pursed his lips and stared out the window. "Until recently, I thought the person who was closest to Omi, next to maybe Yohji, was Schuldig. But lately... I still don't think he'd betray him, Ran."

Ran gripped the steering wheel. "I notice you don't say you're sure."

"I am...gods, now you've got me doing it!" Ken pushed his hand through his thick brown hair and sighed in frustration. "I've never doubted Omi before, Ran. Not about his loyalty to us, and not about his including Schuldig with us. Why is this coming up now? Just because Yohji's gone?"

Ran considered this. It was strange how Yohji's departure had so quickly created a fracture that was more than just the sadness and worry of his going. It was if he somehow cast a glamour over Weiss, made it more than a working unit – made it a family for all of them. With him gone, the dingy reality showed the cracks. "We can't let Weiss fall apart just because Yohji's not here."

"No, we can't. Because apart from anything else, Weiss is all Omi has, and I don't care what you say, I still care about him and worry about him."

Ran looked at him. "I don't not care, Ken. When is he coming down here?"

"Next week, maybe. To be honest, I think he's hoping I'll give him some signal that Schu isn't going to kill him."

Ran sighed. "Let me talk to him. It's up to him. Don't mention any of this to him – and for now, I'd appreciate you not talking to Louise about it. I know she's Weiss, but some of this goes back further than we can easily explain. If you feel that's not honourable, I'll understand," he added scrupulously, feeling no one should proscribe honesty between partners.

"That's okay, Ran. I think she'd prefer we hashed it out between us. She's...well, she said if you ever want to talk, you know, about Yohji being gone, she'd be glad to lend an ear."

Ran blanched. He couldn't imagine anything worse than spilling his private feelings to someone who he still felt he barely knew – and that, a woman as well. "Er, thank you. I'll bear that in mind."

Ken grinned. "Sure you will, Ran. Let's get back. I need some tea."

After steeling himself for a long, loud confrontation or three with his German colleague, Ken thought the weekend had turned out to be rather anti-climatic. Schuldig didn't even appear until nearly lunchtime, when he crawled out of bed, clearly unwell, but wanting to be polite to them. Louise chased him back to bed and told him not to be stupid. She also told Ran they would look after themselves and he should look after his boyfriend, which he appeared grateful to do. Ken had to admit Schuldig looked a lot worse than a simple cold would cause, although it was also clear that he was only suffering from that and nothing worse. Seeing how worn – no, more than that, how miserable Schuldig seemed – Ken understood why Ran was being so protective. It wasn't just displaced anxiety over Yohji.

But then Omi had looked little better when Ken had seen him last, and Omi had no one to pamper him or share his concerns, or offer him the comfort of a warm body in the night. Ken felt conflicted – he had a longer association with Omi, but Schuldig had proved his worth and his loyalty dozens of times. Ken really wished Yohji was here. He felt things would somehow not feel so difficult, so confusing if he had his kind and wise friend to talk to about it. Of course, things would also be better for Omi – and Schuldig too – if he were here.

They hung about the house until late afternoon, made some soup and did some shopping, but then Louise gently suggested that they leave the other two alone and stay at her parents' house for the rest of the weekend. Ran didn't seem to mind – in fact, he seemed relieved. Schuldig was asleep and Ken was certain he wouldn't care one way or the other, so they departed. So long as Ken had his laptop and his mobile, he could pick up any urgent communications from Omi or anyone else.

The rest of the weekend was fully occupied for them. As always when they were in Canberra these days, there were friends of Louise's to visit – and those of Ken's that he'd made during his numerous stays in the capital. But always, at the back of his mind was the worry over the team. Weiss had to survive, even if Yohji never came back.

There was something else too, of course. The first implant was being placed the coming Monday. At that point, he would get some idea, if he too went ahead with being chipped, whether his life might be changed by the invention. Despite Schuldig's discouraging words, part of him still hoped just a little that his latent telekinesis would be enhanced. He didn't know what that might mean, but he desperately wanted to be able to again match his team mates in ability, to offer a skill that they could use him for in the field. He was tired of jockeying a desk. He was only twenty-four. He was too damn young to work in an office.

The actual timeline following the implant operation was uncertain – no one knew how the volunteer would recover, or when the chip would begin to work, so he and Louise went into the office from her parents' home, unsure what was going to happen. They found Ran already there, reading through some files. "Where's Schu?"

"Over at the clinic. He suggested you both come over with me when you've done what you've got on here."

Behind the polite, almost casual words, Ken could detect that Ran was pretty tense. His eyes were hooded, and his expression was blank. "Schu still not well?"

Ran shrugged. "He insisted on coming in. How long will you be?"

Louise looked up from the computer. "There's really nothing urgent here, Ran. Shall we go now? When is the operation going to be over?"

Ran looked at his watch – Ken would have laid money on his knowing to the minute what the time was even before he checked. "It should have been done an hour ago. It's being carried out under local anaesthetic, so it's just a case of waiting for the woman to get over the sedation. They're going to check how much bleeding and bruising there is, and whether it affects the chip's operation. It might not be tried until tomorrow, but we won't know yet."

She stood up. "Then let's go keep Schu company and then you could take him home if they don't need him. Poor guy, he looked like crap on Saturday."

He still did, they discovered, blowing his nose and looked at them with rheumy eyes. "Wasn't expecting you for a while," he said in a weary voice.

"You look like you should be in bed," Louise scolded.

"Don't nag, Schatzi, " Schuldig said mildly. He looked to Ran. "It went well, they say. I hope you're all ready to get your shields in place – I don't want our neophyte paranormal to be blasted. If you don't think you can do it, don't hang around, okay?" He looked at each of them and waited until they nodded. "Good. It shouldn't be long. Take a seat."

The room was spare – clearly some kind of lunchroom for the clinic staff – and the chairs were plain plastic ones, designed for short periods of residence. It didn't bother Ken, of course. Ran didn't sit on them either, standing instead by the wall with one foot cocked against it in a manner that reminded Ken very strongly of the Kritiker days in the Koneko flower shop, as did Ran's guarded expression. Schuldig seemed absorbed in his own misery. Louise asked if any one wanted coffee, and Ken accepted. There was a pot on a coffee maker, and Ken supposed it wouldn't matter if a cup or two went missing. If anyone squawked, they'd plead ignorance.

It seemed a very long time before the door opened, although it was less than half an hour in reality. A white-coated man Ken had not seen before beckoned to Schuldig. "She's awake. I think we're going to give it a go."

Schuldig got up and left with the scientist. The others, not having received instructions, trailed along behind him up the corridor a short distance to another room with a large window on one wall, which reminded Ken unpleasantly of the previous week's events with Yohji. This too proved to be a one-way mirror, but this time they looked into a small operating/treatment room. On a gurney, propped up, one side of her head bandaged, lay the first volunteer – one Wendy Sheridan, Ken knew. A woman chosen both for her high markers on the tests for paranormal aptitude, and her very stable personality. It was believed she would be a prime candidate to handle the stress of being suddenly gifted with super abilities, and hopefully could take part in training any that followed.

But it all depended on whether the chip worked at all. There was a microphone in front of Schuldig. The rest of them took seats at the back of the small room – they were only observers, after all. "I'm here, Dr Fielding," he said, presumably to the woman in surgical scrubs taking down measurements on a clipboard. A nurse was monitoring instruments to the side, but he wasn't paying the patient any attention. The candidate herself looked a little drowsy, but she perked up when she heard Schuldig's voice. "How are you feeling, Wendy?"

"Good, Schu. I think it'll probably sting a bit when the drugs wear off, what do you reckon?" she said in a cheerful drawl.

"I think you should make sure they give you more drugs," Schuldig said gravely and she smiled. "Dr Fielding, you have your own shields in place?"

"Yes, Schu, I do," she answered. "We can start when you're ready."

"All right, then. Wendy, just lie back and relax, close your eyes, and concentrate on me, my voice, my thoughts. Dr, Fielding, let's try it on the lowest setting."

Despite his preparation for this moment, Ken still held his breath. So close....

"Right, that's on. Schu, please begin."

"Wendy, I am thinking of something. A man's name. Can you feel anything, sense anything from me?"

Ken saw the woman's face scrunch up a little, before she said in a disappointed tone. "Sorry, nothing."

"Never mind, my dear. No pain? No discomfort? Can you feel anything at all?"

"No. Not a thing."

Ken exhaled. So it hadn't worked....

"That's fine. Dr Fielding, level two please. Come up to it slowly."

The doctor obeyed. As she did so, the door to their room opened and the man who'd told Schu to come along came in and sat down, but he said nothing. Everyone seemed mesmerised by the events in the other room.

"Okay, try it again, Wendy. A man's name. Take your time, just relax."

Again her faced wrinkled up in thought. "I... there's something... like a... just a tiny...." She made a frustrated noise. "Oh, I can't seem to make it do anything, Schu." To her side, Dr Fielding made an adjustment to her equipment, and a note on her clipboard, before nodding at the window.

"That's fine, Wendy. Give me a minute, will you?" Schuldig switched off the mike and blew his nose noisily before turning to Ran. "Did you feel anything then? There was definitely something."

Ran shook his head. "Nothing."

"Oh, well, it was very low level." He switched on the mike. "Let's go to level three. Wendy, you probably will feel something, not sure what – just keep calm, whatever it.... fuck!" Schuldig clutched at his head, and hunched over the table in apparent pain.

Ran raced over, and grabbed the mike. "Turn it off! It's hurting him, turn it off!"

The scientist in their room hurried to Ran's side, and together they pulled Schuldig up and made him uncover his head. He whimpered slightly but as the woman in the other room obviously stopped whatever she was doing, he became quiet, almost limp. "What the hell was that?" Ran yelled at the scientist.

"I don't know. Possibly some kind of feedback. Has he got his controller on? Better turn it off. I'll go check next door."

Ran fumbled in Schuldig's pocket, but it was Louise who found it and handed it to him. "God, he looks terrible. Do you think he should lie down on the floor?"

"Yes, I do."

Between them they got Schuldig down flat. Ken could only watch, reminded of the time he'd played with Schuldig's controller to try and disable the pain chip. He'd caused a result rather like this, he recalled. "Ran, this happened before – I pushed the wrong buttons on the controller. Maybe they're activating that accidentally?"

"Very likely. Dr Fielding, did you hear that?"

"Yes, I did. We're just looking at it. Does he need medical assistance?"

Louise was checking his pulse. "He seems to be coming around. Give us five minutes."

Schuldig seemed to want to sit up, but Ran glared at him and held him down with a firm hand. "Bully," Schuldig said weakly.

"Behave," Ran said sternly, but his eyes betrayed his worry. "What happened?"

"Pain... just huge pain. Like a drill. Really bad fucking pain."

"Something you've experienced before?"

Schuldig glanced over at Ken and gave him a wry grin. "Yeah. Ken, do you remember the numbers you pushed that time?"

Ken concentrated – it was over two years ago, but the incident had made a considerable impression on him. "It was back to front of what I needed to turn it off."

"6 and then 3. Ran, tell them that. Louise, tell him to let me sit up."

Louise raised an eyebrow at the idea of her telling Ran to do anything, but Ran helped him to a sitting position. "Stay."

"Woof, Liebling."

Ran shook his head and passed on the information to the scientists. "Oh," Dr Fielding said. "I think I know what we did."

"Well, what was it?" Ran said irritably. Ken observed that his team mate was at the edge of losing his temper – he'd been sorely tried by assaults on his loved ones lately and Ken profoundly hoped that nothing else happened to Schuldig this morning, or Ran would probably go ballistic. Which was never a good thing.

"We're operating close to the frequency of Schu's controller chip – we triggered that signal by accident. I didn't realise he was using it this morning. It's not a problem, I can change things. Hang on," she said cheerfully.

Ran growled. By now, Schuldig was trying to stand, and Ran made him sit down again. "Don't hover, Ran," Schuldig said crankily, before switching off the mike again and blowing his nose. "Stupid of me – I didn't even need the damn chip working for this. Should have turned it off anyway. God, I need some more pseudoephridine. Don't suppose you've got some on you?"

"You shouldn't continue. You're white as a sheet."

"That's the cold," Schuldig pointed out.

Louise came up beside him. "Hon, you really don't look good."

"We're nearly there, Louise. I can't ask Wendy to come back tomorrow because I have a cold. If you want to help me, ask someone if they've got some medication."

She looked at Ran, who nodded, although he wasn't happy. "There's an office back down the hall and to the left. You can ask there. Otherwise, there's a chemist outside."

"Won't be long," she said to Ken as she left.

Schuldig was rubbing his temple. Despite his assurance, Ken recalled that he'd been made very ill the first time this happened – in fact, he'd been laid out for nearly a day. He wondered if Ran was aware of that, since at that time, he'd been ignoring Schuldig rather thoroughly. "Schu, I'm sure they'd understand..." he started to say.

"I want this over and done with," Schuldig snapped at him. "Leave me the fuck alone, both of you."

Ran sat on the table and glared at his rude lover, but said nothing. Ken figured he'd done what he could and decided to butt the hell out.

The room was quiet for several minutes. In the treatment room, the doctors were working on the equipment, watched by a curious Wendy. No one seemed that concerned about what might have happened to Schuldig, which seemed bloody callous to Ken and damn stupid considering how important he was to their plans.

Ran continued to watch Schuldig in silence, a small frown on his face, until Schuldig looked up, reached over to touch his hand and said, "Sorry. Headache."

"I bet," Ran said tightly. "Don't tell me that's the cold too."

"No." Schuldig laid his head down on the table and appeared to be trying to sleep.

Five minutes later, Louise returned, not just with the cold medication, but water and ibuprofen. She put them down on the table in front of Schuldig, who lifted his head, examined them, and then started to pop the pills out of their blister packets. "Ah, have I told you lately that I love you, Louise?"

"No, thankfully," she said dryly. "You ought to come with a leash, Schu. I don’t know how those two handle you."

"We don't," Ran said, with a trace of humour, clearly more relaxed now Schuldig was sounding a little more normal.

He insisted the scientists give Schuldig ten minutes before they started recalibration, and kept an eagle eye on his lover as the signal was cautiously strengthened. Schuldig had now disabled the chip in his own head and was using his telepathy without any enhancement. Louise sat next to Ken, and he could tell she was equally anxious – well, it had been rather alarming to see Schuldig collapse like that, even when Ken had seen it before.

Finally, they were back, ready to test Wendy at the critical level three. "Right, everyone, shields up. Problems, speak now. Anyone? Good. Wendy, back where we were, okay? Thinking of a name. A man's name," he said in a soothing voice. "Take your time."

Wendy concentrated. The seconds stretched, and Ken began to think his hopes were to be dashed again. But then she spoke hesitantly "Br...Bradley. Bradley Cr...Crawford. Is that right? Schu?"

Schuldig bowed his head as in pain again, but then he spoke into the microphone. "That was perfect." He switched the mike off then turned to the rest of them. "Also sprach Zarathrustra. Behold your superhuman, kittens. It's too late to go back now."

And even though it was the news Ken had been hoping for, there was something about Schuldig's tone which filled him with a curious sense of dread.

Chapter Text

If they'd killed the Australian Prime Minister, Ran suspected they wouldn't have stirred up the level of activity that the news of the success of the first implant had created, although it was all naturally discreet. Schuldig missed most of it. After an hour's further testing with the volunteer subject, he'd admitted defeat - or rather had been forced to when he'd woken up in a hospital bed staring up at Ran, who explained in precise terms what an idiot he'd been to push himself to the point of passing out again. Ran had left him in the bed to sleep the migraine off, while he, Ken and Louise had notified the relevant people. Who had notified other people in MI6, CIA, and other collaborating agencies, who suddenly wanted to know how quickly they could get other agents implanted. He called Omi and warned him that Schuldig was at the end of his rope and being forced to supervise dozens of brand new Talents would end up with one burned out genuine paranormal and a bunch of artificial ones with no damn idea how to deal with their powers.

Omi said for Ran not to worry, not to let Schuldig feel under any pressure and that he would be down as soon as he could to handle the negotiations in person. Ran wished he had more faith in what that meant.

Sooner or later, the policy people would hear about this. And then, Ran rather suspected, all hell would break loose. Would they tell the government, he wondered and asked himself cynically how long it would be before someone with a grudge or a fear of paranormals leaked news to the press, and how that would be handled. If they were serious about creating hundred of agents with these abilities, it seemed inevitable.

He didn't care, so long as Estet was defeated and they didn't kill his lovers and friends in the process. It was still early days. The chip worked well, but there was more to telepathy than reading minds, and Wendy would need training. She would then train others in turn. It would take time to build momentum.

Not all the new paranormals would be telepaths. Empaths were also to be created, although Schuldig had vehemently argued against attempting to create precognitives, saying it was a gift that was almost impossible to control and usually drove the possessor mad. He simply did not have the skill to train precogs, he insisted. Ran wondered if Schuldig was telling the entire truth, but he agreed that precognition was likely to be less useful than might at first be thought. After all, it hadn't saved Schwarz when it counted.

Ken worked all day on fielding calls, emails and faxes with his wife, but he was curiously subdued. Ran could guess what he was thinking about, and wished he had a good argument that would dissuade Ken from applying to be implanted. He couldn't blame the man – Ran was just sure he was set for disappointment, and Ken had already suffered a great deal of that in his short life. Ran wanted to spare him more pain.

But Ken was an adult, and Ran wasn't responsible for his happiness. He would have to make his own choices.

There was someone for whom Ran felt responsible, and by four, he felt Schuldig needed to go home to a proper bed. Really, he just wanted to get away from the clamour of curious bureaucrats. Omi wanted to deal with these people, then let him do it, Ran thought, not without a little sense of justice being served.

Schuldig wasn't in bed, much to Ran's annoyance, and he had to searching for him. It didn't take long – he was with Wendy and Dr Fielding. "Oh hi, Ran. I was just giving Wendy some tips," Schuldig said innocently.

Ran wanted to hit him. It was bad enough the man was close to a nervous breakdown without today's events, but he had to mentor a new paranormal on top of a migraine. He was insane. Ran invoked the memory of Yohji and pasted a severe expression on his face. "And does Wendy know you have a cold, Schu?"

"I haven't been breathing on her," Schuldig said indignantly.

But Wendy moved away ever so slightly. "Uh, well, you're probably tired, Schu, so maybe...?"

"Yeah, yeah. Bully," Schuldig said to Ran, before sticking his tongue out and making Wendy laugh.

Ran resisted the temptation to laugh as well – Schuldig looked about three. An ill, tired three-year-old, for sure. "The others will be hours yet, but I'm taking you home. Now," he added firmly.

Schuldig said goodbye cheerfully to his protégé and followed Ran in silence to the car park. He seemed distracted, looking out the side window for the short drive back to the house, and headed straight for the bedroom without saying a word. Ran followed him in, only wanting to see if he needed anything, but found Schuldig glaring at him. "I'm back, okay? You don't need to tuck me in like the child you think I am."

"What are you talking about?"

"Who the hell do you think you are, dragging me off like that in front of that woman, like a fucking kid? How do you expect me to have any authority if I'm ordered about in that manner?"

Ran blinked. "You're sick."

"I've got a cold, Ran. Not bubonic plague."

"You passed out. Twice."

"Yeah – and we know why. I don't need a mother."

"Fine," Ran said coldly. "I'll take my offensive person from your presence."

He stalked out, annoyed at having his motives twisted in this way. He didn't want to argue with Schuldig while he was sick, or while they were sharing close quarters with other people, and in any event, he knew he could never win a verbal argument with Schuldig.

Irritated, he went out to the back yard and paid some rare attention to the regrettably scanty garden. No one saw the Canberra house as 'home', and while it was pleasant and comfortable, the most that was done in the yard was to cut the grass and rake up fallen leaves. Twice, Ran had bought flowering bushes and put them in, but their comparative richness threw the scrubby nature of the rest of the garden into sharp relief. Perhaps he could do something now it looked like he and Schuldig were to be in Canberra for at least a month. It wouldn't do to pine after his own garden in Brisbane while he was stuck here.

As it got dark, he thought that he should really have some food waiting for Ken and Louise, who were bound to be tired and hungry when they returned. He prepared a chicken, setting it to roast, and once he was done, he picked up The Australian and settled down to read as he waited for the others to come home.

But the chicken finished cooking, and still there was no sign of them. It didn't matter, they could eat it cold, but he did wonder that they didn't just call it a day and come back. He called the office and made that point to Ken, but was told that they were still briefing the Americans. They would be at least an hour, and Ran and Schuldig should just eat without them.

Ran shook his head at the lack of foresight on the part of the researchers that they had not planned for this contingency, and put rice on to cook.

A step behind him made him turn. He saw Schuldig, dressed only in his underwear, standing there with folded arms. Ran turned back to the rice cooker. "The others will be late. Are you hungry?"

"Not really, but I can eat." He felt Schuldig's arms slip around his waist. "I'm sorry."

"I was only concerned for your health. I'm sorry I embarrassed you." Despite his intentions, he heard the coldness in his voice. It was pointless being angry, he knew, but yet he was.

"I know, I was just being a prick."

Schuldig laid his head on Ran's shoulder, but he shrugged him off. "So what else is new?" he said irritably.

He felt Schuldig move back from him. "Getting tired of me already?"

Ran turned. "No. But one of these days, I'm afraid you're going to drive me away and I don't have Yohji here to help me fix the breach."

"Ran, just because I'm cranky with you, doesn't mean I want you to leave." Schuldig seemed genuinely puzzled.

"It sounds like that sometimes. It makes me feel like you regret I'm not someone else, or that I am who I am. Maybe you wish I was Yohji. Maybe you wish I was Brad Crawford. I'm not." He turned away again, and gripped the sink. He hated these kinds of conversations. "Let's forget it. You're unwell, you're irritable, I understand. Go back to bed and I'll bring you...."

He was startled into silence by being swung around by a pair of very strong hands, and then pinned up against the sink as he was glared at by an angry redhead. "You've got Brad on the brain, you know that?"

"And whose name did you use to test your baby telepath with?"

"Oh, grow up, Ran. I was just trying to think of a name she was bound to never have heard from any of you, or from anyone else. I'm sorry, it was the first name I came up with. I thought you were past all this. Clearly I was wrong."

"You wish I was him, don't you? Given a choice, you'd pick his life over mine."

Schuldig shook him. "Don't act like the idiot you most assuredly are not, Fujimiya Ran. When there was a possibility of him being alive, if it was at your expense, you bet I'd have picked him. But he's dead and I love you. That was then, this is now. This is me now, this is you now, Ran. And I don't want you to be anyone but you. Christ, you're insecure."

"Is it any wonder, when everything I do seems to annoy you?"

Schuldig pushed his hand through his hair in frustration. "That's bullshit. Everyone gets cranky sometimes, Ran. You sure as hell do."

"You don't get cranky with Yohji the way you do with me."

"Maybe because I think you're tough enough to put up with me without the damn gloss."

"Maybe I just bring the worst out in you."

Schuldig sighed. "Maybe you do. Or maybe I trust you to know what's real and what's just... crap." He stepped up close to him, and took Ran's head between his hands. "I trust you. I know you're not fickle, that you won't throw me out for being an irritable, irritating son of a bitch. I can be me around you. Good and bad. I value that."

"But I don't know you won't walk out on me because I'm irritable and irritating."

Schuldig laid his forehead against Ran's. "And where would I go, Liebling? This is my home, with you, with him. I could go anywhere in the world and I wouldn't find that." He raised his head and looked into Ran's eyes. "You're actually worried that I would leave just because I got mad at you."

"It happens, " Ran pointed out, feeling trapped in more ways than one. "Relationships fall apart all the time."

"Not this one, Liebling. I will never be free of it, never want to be free."

"Because of our link," Ran said flatly.

Schuldig's gentle tone changed to one of irritation. "Oh, don't be obtuse, Ran. " He went to the fridge and got himself a beer, offering one to Ran, who refused, then he went to the living room and flopped down on the sofa, flicking on the television and staring moodily at the news.

Ran stared down at the rice cooker. Would he ever learn how to handle volatile people? He'd been spoiled by Yohji, who had taken all of his own emotional storms in his stride. Very little drove Yohji into a rage, and he was rarely irritable, although he certainly had his moods. Ran and Schuldig were too similar in their temperaments, he felt.

He sliced some greens and quickly stir fried them, and then dished out two plates of food before bringing them to where Schuldig was sitting. He preferred himself to eat at the table, but he didn't want to provoke Schuldig by insisting that he move or stop watching television. Schuldig seemed surprised at the gesture. "I can move," he said.

"It's not important," Ran replied, pulling the coffee table over so he at least didn't have to balance it on his lap.

But Schuldig put his own plate down and looked at him. "I really am sorry, Ran. I know this has been a really crappy week for you."

Ran clenched his fists on his knees. "Just...stop making me worry about you. I don't want to lose you as well."

Schuldig scooted closer on the sofa and put his arm around Ran's waist. "You won't, I promise. No matter how much of a dickhead I am, I won't leave. Not unless you sincerely want me to. You probably do, sometimes."

"Not once, " Ran snapped. "Where did you get that idea? Gods, Schu, I wish you'd read my mind more often than you do if it'd stop you getting so messed up."

"It was a joke,Liebling," he sighed. "I think we need a break from life for a while. You know, when Yotan gets back, how about the three of us go on a long, long holiday somewhere. A deserted island, maybe."

Ran forced himself to play along with the idea, which wasn't that difficult since solitude was heavenly for him. "Solar powered fridges for the beer?"

"Yep. And lots of lovely tropical flowers for you to play with, and some dusky maidens for Yohji...."

"... but he's not allowed to play with the dusky maidens...."

"...no, of course he's not, but he can admire them from afar. And every night, we can walk on the beach after a swim, and then we can eat fish you've cooked over a fire, and Yohji can climb trees for coconuts...."

Ran had to grin at that image. "I thought it might get boring, but watching that would be entertainment enough."

"Ah, yes. And I can always sing for you."

"Please, no torture."

Schuldig punched his arm. "I have a wonderful voice."

"You do," Ran deadpanned. "And I think it's great how much money we save on pest control now."

Schuldig stared and then he realised how he'd been insulted. "You can be a real little bitch, Ran. There are people who say how dignified and controlled you are, but I know what you're really like."

"A little bitch who cooks very well?"

"That's you. A bitch, good cook, hot in bed, good friend...the man I love...." Schuldig kissed Ran gently, caressing his cheek. "I'm sorry. I can't help my mouth sometimes."

"I forgive you – so long as you don't mean it and you really aren't going to leave." He leaned against Schuldig, intensely relieved at having avoiding a longer and more vicious confrontation, knowing that Schuldig was under immense pressure and feeling angry at his inability to keep that in mind. He shouldn't let Schuldig's 'white noise' bother him. It wasn't who Schuldig was, it wasn't what their relationship was about. "Eat your dinner, it'll get cold."

"Mmmm, rather eat you," Schuldig murmured, nibbling his ear, which tickled.

"Maybe later," Ran said with a grin.

They ate peacefully, watching the news and analysis programmes which Ran enjoyed. There had been another car bomb in Indonesia, and there were more warnings about Australians travelling overseas. Ran listened intently, Schuldig with rather less attention. "Can Estet really be behind all this?" Ran asked as the photomontage of the atrocities was shown again. "Even with their ambitions, it seems so pointless."

"Not behind all of it. But they'll be pleased nonetheless. This is nothing new, Ran. Just bigger scale, different arena." Schuldig sighed. "You realise I could be involved in this, if I still worked for them. And it wouldn't bother me at all."

He said this kind of thing a lot, Ran knew, and he also knew he was serious. What Ran had more trouble understanding was that Schuldig couldn't see that the man he was now, wouldn't be involved in it. The man had changed, grown up. He may be no more moral, but he just cared about consequences more. "Lots of things have changed, Schu. If I still worked for Kritiker, I'd be a different person. We all would be." He wondered if he would still be working for Kritiker if the organisation still existed. Most likely, he'd still be thirsting after his personal revenge, keeping Yohji away, and making them both miserable....

Most likely he'd be dead, he thought sardonically.

He shivered suddenly as waves of emotion – fear, powerlessness, anger – began to sweep through him. He stood up, instinctively hunting for danger, the cause of his pain, but then Yohji's face came to him, twisted in sadness and pain, and he clutched at his chest, feeling as if his heart was being seized in a fist. Schuldig came up behind him. "Ran? What's wrong?" He made Ran face him, his expression alarmed.

He could only gasp out, "Yo...Yohji...I can see Yohji...Schu, he's hurt...."

"What do you see? Tell me?" Schuldig asked urgently and then reached in his pocket, probably for his controller.

But Ran grabbed at his hand to make him stop. "It's gone...gods, Yohji." He blinked, trying to clear his sight and looked at Schuldig. "Was that... did I see the future?" Schuldig had once said he was slightly precognitive. Was that what had brought this on? "Is that happening to him now?" His voice shook as hard as his body was. His chest felt tight as a steel band and he felt as if he was freezing cold. "Tell me, Schuldig!"

"Wait.... Let me look, Ran." Schuldig laid a palm on his forehead, probably only for comfort, Ran dimly thought, as he turned on his controller and then Ran felt him in his mind.

Schuldig frowned as he concentrated, but then he shook his head. "I can't tell. It's just an image. Most likely it's just your fears for him playing on your mind."

"It has to be more than that. It was so vivid...."

"I know it was but I still think it's just your imagination playing up to your anxieties. Nothing like this has happened before to you?" Ran shook his head. "Well, there you go. You don't start having visions in your twenties. It's probably that you're in a new situation here with Yohji gone... the way he's gone." Schuldig made him sit down, pulled him close and rubbed his back. Ran felt his shivering ease a little under the reassuring touch. "I don't think it means anything, honestly. Ken will tell you when he gets back – or if he hears anything."

"But there's nothing I can do anyway," Ran said dully.

"No, there's not. I'm sorry, Liebling." Ran could hear the regret for much more in Schuldig's voice than his regret at Ran's concern.

"He's safer because of what you did, and I thank you."

He lay weakly against Schuldig who picked up his hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb absently. "You wouldn't thank me if you'd seen him," he muttered harshly.

"No. But you would never hurt him intentionally. Stay with me, Schu. I need you both to stay with me."

"I will, I promise. I keep my word, Ran." Schuldig began to stroke his head, running his fingers through Ran's hair, the slight tugs comforting and soothing.

"Yes, you do."

The warmth of Schuldig's body, and the promise, and the very solidity of his presence, helped dispel a little of the fear that had filled him. But the image of Yohji's face remained, and despite Schuldig's assurances, Ran couldn't help but believe that it meant something. Just what.... Ran shivered again. He hoped Schuldig was right, that was all.

"And now you know why we get the big money," Ken joked to Louise as they made their way back to their car. It was nearly midnight, and he felt like a soggy dishtowel.

"Omi warned me there'd be days like these, but I thought he was kidding," she said, unlocking the car and lowering the ramp.

Late as it was, they weren't the last people to leave the building. Elsewhere in the offices, Ken knew there was feverish activity still going on in telephone calls and emails. It was as if no one had really believed the chips would work, so no one outside the scientists and team working on their development had spent much time thinking of the implications. Now the theory was reality, everyone wanted their people chipped, everyone wanted Schuldig's time. It was just as well Ran had taken him home when he had, Ken thought grimly. And Omi had better be prepared to fight to keep him with Weiss.

As he drove them back to the house, he wondered if Omi would do that – he couldn't see what benefit there would be for Omi in losing Schuldig, but Ran wouldn't be worried without cause. He needed to speak to his friend. Fortunately, Omi had said he was coming down tomorrow.

To his surprise, there was not only a light on in the kitchen, but the blue flicker of the TV could be seen as he pulled into the driveway. Ran was pretty much an early to bed, early to rise kind of guy and Schuldig was ill, so why were they up?

They came in as quietly as they could, but it was no surprise that Ran, who had clearly fallen asleep on the sofa, was blinking at them in the dim light. Schuldig was asleep with his head in Ran's lap but stirred a little as Ran greeted them.

"Why haven't you gone to bed?" Louise asked, picking up the dirty dinner plates which, also atypically for Ran, had been left on the coffee table. Ken could hardly remember any time in the last couple of years when they'd not eaten at the table when they stayed in the house.

"Din't wanna move," Schuldig mumbled sleepily. "Sorry, Ran, didn't mean to trap you." He sounded blocked up again.

Ran bent low and kissed him. "It's okay, but why don’t you head on in? I'll be there soon."

Schuldig struggled up and staggered off in the direction of the bathroom. Ran looked at his watch. "I thought you'd have been home hours ago."

"So did we," Louise said dryly.

"We haven't even had dinner," Ken added. "Any food left?"

Ran wiped his face with his hand. "Chicken. I can make some rice or there's some bread."

"Bread's fine. I'm starving."

Ran set about making them a light, tasty meal in complete silence. Louise looked at Ken, as puzzled as he was by Ran's attentiveness – they could and would have sorted their own meal out, and Ken hardly expected Ran to cook for them at midnight, not when his lover was waiting for him. But not only did Ran cook, he sat and watched them eat without saying anything. It was unnerving.

"Uh, I spoke to Dr Spalding – you know, the guy who was there with Dr Fielding today?"

Ran nodded. "He's from Sydney."

"Yeah. Anyway, I asked him about whether I'd be suitable for getting the implant, and he said that he'd wanted all of Weiss to get them before anyone else, but Schu told him if he mentioned it to us, he'd withdraw cooperation. Did he say anything about that to you?"

Ran narrowed his eyes. "No. He did not. But why does Spalding want us?"

Ken shrugged. "Because we've all got the best markers of any of the people they've tested, well above anyone else. Spalding's got a theory that it's because of being around Schu, or maybe somehow Persia knew there was something special about us. I don't know why Schu didn't tell you."

Ran grunted but didn't deign to explain. Ken decided to finish the story. "Anyway, the upshot of that is that I can get the implant pretty much at the head of the queue – the second they've made sure Wendy is completely fine, I can get it done."

"How long?"

"A month – at most. It's all gone much more smoothly than they were expecting."

Louise turned to Ken. "Hon, I'm still a bit worried about all this. The amount of pain Schu was in today, that wasn't a joke."

Ran looked at her. "I don't think that will apply to Ken. I'm more concerned what will happen when the public discover that paranormals are real and living with them. There will be a witch hunt. Schu's worried about it, and rightly so. I doubt ASIO or anyone else have considered it."

Ken certainly hadn't. "But how will they find out? Estet have kept theirs secret for how many years?"

"Estet isn't a democracy with an enquiring press, Ken. And I somehow doubt MI6 or even the CIA are prepared to imprison or kill every single person who might pose a threat."

Ran fell silent again. Ken pushed the remains of his meal around his plate, but he wasn't hungry any more. Louise obviously felt the same, so she collected their plates and put the scraps in the compost. Ken was watching her and so missed Ran's quietly spoken question. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"Did Eagle One... have you had a check in today?"

Ken was puzzled. He'd already told Ran once today that there was no unusual news from Singapore. "Not yet. Why?"

"It was due at midnight. Could you check?"

"Why?"

Ran looked down at the table. "I... I just...would like to know. Please, Ken."

This was so unlike Ran, that Ken was tempted to reach over and feel his forehead. But instead, he decided to humour him. "Come into the office and I'll look, okay?"

Ran followed him, as did Louise, and waited patiently as Ken went through the lengthy encryption and login procedures. As he suspected, all he'd received was the usual routine check in from Jensen. "All's well, Ran. Nothing's different from yesterday."

Ran seemed to sag slightly as he looked away. "Something wrong, honey?" Louise asked in concern.

That made him rouse himself. "No. Nothing's wrong. Thank you for checking. I'll go to bed now. Goodnight."

He rose silently and closed the door behind him. "What was that all about?" Louise asked.

"I have no idea, love. Damn, Yohji's been gone a week and we're already cracking up."

She came over and hugged him. "It's okay, Ken. Everyone's just a bit unsettled, but they'll be fine. You wait and see."

Ken hoped his wife was right. But there was something so sad about Ran, and his manner tonight had been ... well, it made him shiver.

Maybe he just needed a good night sleep. They all did. "Come to bed, Lou. I'm shattered."

Ran couldn't shake the sense of dread, although it was no longer the sharp anxiety he'd felt the previous night. Schuldig repeated his reassurances, but Ran knew there was nothing they could do whatever the truth of the matter. Yohji was in danger – he already knew that. That would be true until he came back. Until then, Ran could only try to do his own job well, and keep their lover sane and happy until Yohji was back to help take the strain.

Said lover was swallowed up by the scientific machine as soon as they got to the ASIO facility, and Ran was left to deal with the practical fallout of the successful implantation. He, Ken and Louise did nothing but answer phones, faxes and emails until Omi walked into the office just before noon. Louise thrust a pile of paper at him. "Here you go, mate. If I have to deal with one more crazy American, I'm going to go postal. And if I don't have a pee, I'll just explode." She disappeared out the door.

Ken laughed. "That's my girl. Glad you're back, Omittchi. It's going mad here."

Omi sat on the edge of a desk. "So I hear. Who wants to report first?"

Ran waited patiently while Ken gave an admirably concise and clear summary of the situation, which was that all the major security organisations wanted their own cadre of paranormals yesterday. Ran gave his own assessment that there were some twinges of alarm already in ASIO about the implications of telepathic agents working with ordinary ones. "Omi, why didn't they think about this before?"

Omi sighed. "I did. Schuldig did. A few others did. But until the thing was reality, we were keeping it pretty quiet. We still want to keep it quieter than all this," he said, waving the sheaf of papers. "You've been telling people that we'll get back to them, right? Anything else?"

"Only confirming that yes, the experiments are proceeding on schedule, no, they can't come over and take Schuldig away until they speak to you."

"Or at all," Ran added firmly.

Omi looked at him narrowly. "Where is he?"

"With the scientists. Do you need him here?" Ran asked.

"Not right now. Ken, you and Louise continue as you have been for now, except no more information about the experiments is to be given out until either I or Adam Bosnic authorise it. Ran, please, would you walk with me?"

Ran followed Omi out of the office, but his boss stayed silent until they were out of the building and heading towards the large ornamental lake that lay at the heart of Canberra. "How have you been?" Omi asked politely.

"I've had easier weeks. We both have, " Ran said in pointed reference to Schuldig. "You can't possibly be thinking of allowing them to force him to train hundreds of new... Talents."

"Of course not," Omi snapped, taking a seat in the sun by the water's edge. Ran knew it to be one of Omi's favourite places in Canberra, a place where he liked to eat lunch or think. The others didn't intrude except by invitation – there was a tacit acceptance that Omi needed to get away from people sometimes. "Please sit down, Ran. I have a lot of things to talk to you about."

Ran did so, wondering what Omi wanted to say that he didn't want the others privy to. He waited for Omi to speak, and forced the things he wanted to say to his young leader back down. He would wait until Omi had made his thoughts clear.

"The mission is going well," Omi said. "Everything is going exactly to plan."

"Yes. Ken told me. "

"Is it very hard for you, Ran? Could you bear it if we had to do this again with Yohji?"

Ran considered, but his answer was as it would have been a week ago. "Yes. No. I would rather go myself, than endure this."

Omi slumped and nodded. "Yes, I thought so. If it's any consolation, I've decided we can't run this kind of mission again – Weiss won't, anyway. We're not – you're not – trained for this."

"Are you saying you are, Omi?"

"Of all of you – except for Schu – I'm the most prepared. But I don't think I would ever be suitable for something quite as in-depth as that."

Ran acknowledged this to be true. "So no more undercover?"

"No, just not this kind. But for the next couple of months, you have a new mission, Ran. I need you to coordinate the training programme for our new Talents. I want Schu freed up to work with the scientists. He's not to be involved in the administration at all."

Omi was staring out at the water and Ran wished he had a little of his lover's ability to read minds. "Because you don't trust him?"

Omi turned to him. "No, of course not! Because of what you've been saying, that he can't handle the stress. I'm leaving it to you to manage him and his resources, make sure he's not spread too thin. I want implants done only at the rate he can manage, and no faster, until some of the new people are able to begin training. There will also be scientists coming from America and Britain to learn how the implanting is done and when they have people ready in their own countries, we'll send our trainers over. Not Schu."

"Schu is capable of managing himself, you know. It sounds like you think he needs a keeper."

Omi pursed his lips in anger. "If you are going to take everything I say the wrong way, Ran, there's not a lot to convince you that I'm doing this out of concern for his welfare, is there?"

Ran stood his ground. "Your actions are capable of a number of interpretations, Omi. I haven't forgotten you were ready to eject him from Weiss over something relatively trivial, and I have to ask why."

Omi actually stood so he could turn and glare at Ran. "I lost my temper, Ran. I'm not proud of it, and it wasn't worthy of my position. But don't tell me Schu never makes you angry. I'm only human. I fail from time to time."

"I admire your willingness to admit that, Omi. Did the consequences of making him leave Weiss really not enter your head?"

Omi stared furiously at him. "Damn it, I wouldn't let him leave Weiss! Not after all I've done to keep him with us. Where the hell is this coming from? Are you still angry over Yohji? Do you want my job, Ran? Because I freely admit, I don't want it a lot of the time."

That was news to Ran. "And what would you do if you were not our leader,?"

Omi sighed and sat down again. "I don't know. Join ASIO for real, I guess. It's not like I don't get offers. Even the Americans want me, I really don't know why. Up until now I thought I was doing what you all wanted – keeping Weiss together. If I've failed at that, maybe I should go."

"You have a duty to stay until Yohji is safely home. Anything less is dishonourable."

Omi looked as if he'd been slapped. "Glad to know I mean so much to you, Ran. Does Schu feel this way?"

"You'll have to ask him. I believe you already know he's unhappy."

Omi bowed his head, and for a moment, he looked very much older than his twenty-two years. Ran felt some sympathy for him, but he couldn't rid himself of the suspicion that Omi was just manipulating him into that sympathy. Omi, he reflected with regret, had done himself no favours with the loss of temper the week before.

"I'll talk to him," Omi said finally. "I won't make any decisions until Yohji gets home. Not, of course, unless you all decide before that happens that I need to go," he said with some anger in his voice. "Are you going to do as I've asked about the training, or do I need to make concessions to convince you too?"

"How much freedom do I have?"

"As much as you need. ASIO's requirements come first ahead of the outside agencies, but you and Schu will tell them – not the other way around – how many and how fast. Choose an assistant from the staff here, train them up in what's required. I leave it all to you."

"And when will Schu be able to go on missions again? Leave the country?" He'd kept to his promise to Schu not to raise the passport thing, but that didn't mean he couldn't make the odd jab here and there.

"Not for a while, Ran. Schu's... difficult. That mission you and he did last year really set things alight."

"The thing with the TV programme? Why? I thought MI6 were pleased."

"They were. But then someone pointed out what having someone like Schu running loose inside your organisation, working with your people might mean. He scares them, Ran. Knowing who he is, what he can do, who he worked for - that's why MI6 want their own Talents. People they can control, who they know. People who can protect them against Schu and those like him." Omi laughed with some bitterness. "I should have seen this coming. The world can't handle real paranormals. I work very hard to make people forget I'm one too, but empaths don't seem to scare them so much anyway. They don't realise how much I know from just their feelings."

Ran was surprised, both by what he said, and the fact of the admission. Omi rarely talked about his new abilities and never with such bitterness. "Are you keeping Schu in the country to protect him or them?"

"Him," Omi said without hesitation. "But I can't do it alone. Which is why I need your help. And Ken's and Louise's."

"They want to take him away from us, don't they?"

"To be absolutely frank, Ran, there are people who want to take Schuldig to a remote spot and put a bullet in his brain because they're that afraid of him, and those who want to keep him to make their own pet team of Talents. At times, I'm not sure which group outnumbers the other."

"Can you stop them? Either group? If they really want to?"

"I hope so. I can't say too much about that though. While he stays in the Australian continent, he's relatively safe, and while he's making the contribution he is now, and being safe and sober and respectable, it's easier to argue that he's being used and managed effectively. I want to keep things that way."

Ran nodded and tried not to be cynical about the benefit Omi also got as Schu's 'manager'. It wasn't important, so long as Schu was safe and happy. "Ken says the scientists are eager for us all to be chipped. Ken's already arranged for it to be done. Did you know they were keen for this to happen?"

Omi nodded. "I raised it myself with them – there are advantages to being able to turn off or amplify one's powers as Schu does. If Ken or Yohji want it, I have no objections. Schuldig really doesn't want you implanted though, Ran, and I tend to agree with him. I believe him when he says precognition is too erratic a power to cause you anything but harm."

Ran was furious these discussions had been going on without his knowledge. "And you don't think I might want to be the one to make those choices, Omi? After all, if it is erratic, I can always turn it off."

Omi was unrepentant. "Possibly, but he said that chipping Brad Crawford created some very unpredictable results which they couldn't really reverse and since you're already borderline manifesting...."

"What?"

"Your markers for precognition are very strong, Ran."

Ran frowned. "I thought they didn't know what the non-telepathic, non-empathic markers were for specifically, except for paranormal ability."

Omi shrugged. "As you know, Schu said Crawford spotted you as a low-level precog. So your markers will be an indication of that."

"That's circular logic."

"All we have, Ran. We have exactly one expert, and he's not an expert in everything. However, I believe him when he says precognition is too difficult to manage. I know the CIA are particularly interested in it, but if they want to develop that programme, they can do it themselves. I am not going to hand you over as a sample – and if you are implanted, that's what could happen."

"Don't we have any say over our futures, Omi?"

Omi sighed. "Ran, you know as well as I do we're in a war – and people's rights tend to get trampled in war time. I can only do what I can do, but you have to work with me. Stay under the radar. Keep Schu from exploding. I'll keep people off his back but he has to stay low, keep out of trouble." He bent down, picked up a small pebble and tossed it into the lake. Immediately the ducks and swans came over to investigate the ripples. "You may no longer consider me a friend, Ran. But I am not the enemy."

He said this calmly, a little sadly, and in that moment, Ran only saw the boy who had been forced to manhood before his time, and who had never been able to grow up in a normal way. "You are a friend and a team mate, Omi. I have concerns about Weiss. I have concerns about my other team mates. I have no ill feeling for you on my own account."

Omi turned to him. "But you think I'd betray Schu. The man who saved my life, taught me how to cope with my empathy, the man who kept me sane after... after Tennchi...." He clenched his fist. "You don't think much of me, do you? Do you only trust the people you're sleeping with now?"

"Omi...."

"Well, do you? Do I need to spread my legs to get your acceptance?"

"Omi, that's enough!" Ran stared at his blond companion, whose face was now pale with anger. "Gods, how can you say things like that?"

"How can you accuse me of using Schu for my own purposes, Ran? My job is to use each of you as effectively as possible, in the cause we all support. But that doesn't make me a monster. I don't always get it right." Omi pinned him with his deceptively guileless eyes. "We all make mistakes, Ran. And sometimes, the right decision still means someone gets hurt."

Ran was ashamed of himself then. He had been treating Omi as if he were the enemy. "Will you give Schu back his passport?"

That earned him an assessing look. "I don't have it. But that doesn't mean he's trapped. I can't say more than that. Ran – this is a difficult, delicate time for us, now the implants actually work. It's unfortunate that we have the added burden of Yohji's absence, but I can't let that distract me from keeping Weiss together when there are forces who want to disband us and destroy us as a team. If you don't support me, then you have to replace me, but make your mind up. We don't have a lot of time."

Omi looked at him, apparently really waiting for his decision. "I support you, Omi. But secrecy builds distrust, and Weiss has always worked together. You have no right to conceal what affects us all, and what affects one, affects all of us."

Omi shook his head. "Things have changed, Ran. If I keep secrets, it's for your protection, and if you trust me to lead, you have to trust me on that. Have I ever betrayed you? Or harmed you or anyone in Weiss?"

Ran had given his word, but he had to say it. "You took Schu's passport and never told us about that."

"I assumed he would have told you. It wasn't a secret. I didn't have a choice. Andrew Jensen warned me what was coming and I knew that if I didn't act, show that Weiss were cooperating, Schu would just be taken away from us. I explained that to him." Omi frowned. "I thought he'd understood. I thought he'd tell you all too. I didn't see a reason to tell you myself."

Such a simple explanation? "He thinks you'll jettison him to save the rest of us – or yourself." Now Ran looked at it again, he could see how Schu's natural distrust of most people could have coloured his interpretation of Omi's actions. But equally, Schu could be right in seeing Omi as a Machiavelli. Gods, he wished he could talk about this with Yohji. "I don't know what to believe any more, Omi. Or who."

Omi smiled tiredly. "Welcome to my world, Ran. Did you know the only person in this organisation outside of Weiss I trust to be one hundred percent honest with me is Andrew Jensen?"

"Him? He hates us."

"He hates pretty much everyone. But he's also completely solid. That's why I wanted him with Yohji. Unfortunately it means I've lost someone I trust. Two people." Omi cocked his head. "Or is it three? Four?"

"No, not four. I can't speak for Schu, but I will speak to him. Omi...." Ran stopped. Any promise, any oath, would mean as much or as little as Omi wanted it to. Ran had to go with his instincts. "We are your family."

"Yes, you are. I am not a Takatori," he said fiercely. "I am Weiss."

And that had to be good enough for Ran.

Omi stood and stretched. "I need to get back. I wonder – perhaps you could ask Louise to assist you? To work with Schu and the implant programme?"

"What about the intelligence gathering? Doesn't Ken need her? And won't that mean she would spend more time down here?"

"Talk to them, Ran. I want to keep this under Weiss control as much as I can and we can trust her to care about his welfare. But I'll leave it to you."

He turned to go, but Ran stood and grabbed his arm. "Wait." Omi looked at him, puzzled. "Omi... are you all right? Ken said... he said you were very disturbed by what... you know, Schu and Yohji...." He stopped. Being the comforter wasn't his usual role – he left that to Yohji. "I... don't mean to be... I don't want you to think I am not concerned."

Omi patted Ran's hand on his arm. "You have Schu to worry about. And Yohji."

"That doesn't mean...."

"Yes, it does, Ran. Don't underestimate your burden. Or the value of your support. I'm okay," he said cheerfully. "But I have to go. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes. See you all later."

And then he strode off, leaving Ran bemused, and perhaps even more worried than he had been, although over different things.

[Liebling? Are you done?]

[Were you listening in on us, Schu?] Ran 'thought' with annoyance.

[Nein, I just knew you were talking to Omi. I've finished here and wanted to know if you would have lunch with me.]

Schu's mental voice positively radiated innocence, and Ran had to believe him. He had no proof otherwise – and he wished he could get over this distrusting people he normally placed every faith in. He knew it was caused by a combination of factors that would pass eventually, but it still left him feeling uneasy and irritable. [Canteen?]

[Picnic. Meet you by the lake in ten minutes, with sandwiches. Okay?]

Ran sent his agreement, and then found a place under a tree, out of the direct sunlight. The spring weather was warm, and he would burn if he stayed out in the open much longer. He really should have put sunscreen on. Yohji wasn't there to nag him, that was why he'd forgotten.

He rested his chin on his knees, staring at the lake and the people and the wildlife, but not really seeing them except as a backdrop to his mental picture show. He kept seeing Yohji that last time, and wondering how someone who loved him as much as Yohji undoubtedly did, could forget him so completely. It terrified him at almost at a cellular level – not just that Yohji could forget him, but that he could possibly be made to forget Yohji. If human love was so frail, so dependent on memory.... His life, his existence was founded on the twin rocks of his lovers, just as it had once been anchored to his family. He'd believed any meaningful life had ended when his parents had died. He'd been wrong. But if Yohji never came back... or never remembered him....

He covered his eyes, willing himself to remember that last happy day, making love with the three of them. Joyous, relaxed, in love and peaceful. But still the image of Yohji's tormented face intruded and he found himself once again caught up in the pain whose source he could not divine, but which took him over, like being crushed in a giant hand, his mind full of grief and guilt and sorrow....

A rough hand gripped his arm and he was shaken hard. "Ran! Stop it!"

He heard the voice, and it was like he had to swim towards it through thick oily syrup. His eyes wouldn’t open, no matter how hard he was shaken, how hard he tried. 'Help me,' he tried to say, but no words came out.

Suddenly, there was a stinging pain in his face and his eyes flew open to see his attacker – he found Schuldig staring at him from a distance of no more than a few centimetres. He leaned back to focus. "Wh...what?" he croaked out.

"Oh god...I thought you were having some kind of seizure. No, don't sit up."

But he was already... no, he was lying on the ground, on his side, and Schuldig was crouched over him. "Wha' happened?"

"I don't know, Ran," Schuldig said gently, his hand on Ran's forehead. "What do you remember?"

"I was just... thinking about Yohji." He struggled to sit up, and after a moment, Schuldig helped him. He felt dizzy and nauseated, and at a loss to explain how he'd been sitting up one minute and then curled in a ball on the ground the next. His head pounded and his vision sparkled unpleasantly. "Water."

"Here." Schuldig held a bottle of water to his lips. The sting of the carbonated bubbles, the bite of the minerals in the water helped him concentrate a little. "Did you see something? Another image?"

"No...just... feelings...pain. Sadness." He peered at Schuldig. "Just how precognitive am I?"

"I don't know, Ran. You might not be precognitive at all. Crawford wasn't infallible."

There was something in Schuldig's voice... something not quite open.... "You know something. You've seen something... in my mind." He thought, and then remembered something. "How do you know what I dream about?" Schuldig jerked, and Ran knew he'd struck the target. "Tell me, dammit! What do you know? What can I see? Is Yohji in danger?"

Schuldig put his hands on Ran's shoulders. "Liebling, keep your voice down," he warned, looking about for other people. Fortunately, there was no one that close, but Ran knew he'd been reckless. "I don't know a damn thing, Ran. How's your headache?"

"It's bearable."

[Then let's do it this way, or we'll have to take it indoors.]

[Schu, what's going on?]

[I really don't know, sweetheart. Can I look into your mind?]

Ran nodded and waited for Schuldig to examine his memories. [Well?]

[I can't tell, Ran. It's just... unformed. It's not like a vision, not like Crawford used to have.]

Ran looked at Schuldig, trying to see if his lover was hiding anything. All he could see was concern. [I have dreams and you've seen them. Am I seeing the future in them?] Schuldig looked down and Ran grabbed his arm. [Schuldig! Tell me]

"Ran... yes, you have had some dreams. In London... and a couple of times since. I wasn't trying to read your mind, you were actually broadcasting your feelings at me and I just wanted to know what was going on. But I don't know if you were seeing the future. In fact...."

Ran shook his arm again. "Just tell me. I can handle the truth."

Schuldig gave a short, humourless laugh. "No, Liebling you can't, because you don't know, I don't know if it is the truth. You saw Yohji badly injured, maybe dying." Ran hissed in a breath. "But that was over a year ago, Ran. Nothing has come to pass. So I'd be inclined to think it was just your imagination – same as now, you were away from Yohji, worried about him."

"That makes no sense, Schu. We've been in danger before. Many times, much worse than this." Ran wrinkled in forehead in thought. "And I'm not prone to fancy."

Schuldig smiled at him. "No, my little orchid, you assuredly are not. I don't know the answer. Maybe it's because you're separated."

"Maybe I should get that implant and that would makes things clearer...."

[NO!] The force of Schuldig's mental shout set Ran's head pounding again, and he winced from the pain. [Ran, no, you mustn't. Whatever this is, the chip will make it worse, I'm certain of it. If you really are a precog, you will be plagued by images, have no way of discerning which are real and which are imaginary. You won't know when things will happen – God, Crawford was the most powerful, most controlled precognitive they had, and even he couldn't always control it. You wouldn't have a prayer. Trust me, Ran. Please.] Schuldig touched his face. [Please, don't do this. If the Americans get a whiff of your possible potential, they'll make you a bigger lab rat than me. They're desperate for someone to work on who has any hint of precognitive ability. Only you and Weiss know you might have some, and even I don't know how much. Please.]

Ran took his hand and patted it. "All right, I promise. But I need to know what is going on now." He rubbed his forehead. "Damn it." It felt like he was getting a migraine – at least, from what he knew of the symptoms of one. "I need to get out of the light. Feel like I'm going to throw up."

Schuldig pulled his sunglasses out of his pocket and made Ran put them on. "I'm going to help you keep the nausea under control until we get back inside. Just let me take charge. Take it easy."

Schuldig helped him to his feet, and that was pretty much the last thing Ran remembered before he found himself lying down in one of the clinic beds. Dr Fielding was standing next to Schuldig. "Just relax, Ran. How's the pain in your head?" she asked.

"Hmmm...bad."

"Still want to be sick?"

"Hmmm." She bared his arm and rubbed it with alcohol. " 's that?"

"Just something for the nausea. Harmless."

"It's okay, Ran. Relax," Schuldig said gently.

Ran let the injection take effect, and sure enough, the nausea began to dissipate. With the disappearance he felt a lassitude fill his bones – a side-effect of the medication, no doubt. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, bringing back memories of other times spent in medical care, but he knew better than to fight it. "You should stay with him, Schu. Ran, just rest for a little while. You can go back to work later, or go home once you feel better."

She left them alone, and Schuldig took his hand. "I didn't really want to involve her, but I didn't have a choice."

"It's all right," Ran said. "I...." But then he forgot what he was going to say as the pain spiked again, and a now familiar feeling of helpless grief and fear filled him. He lost vision for what he thought was just a second or so, but came to only to find Dr Fielding and her nurse bending over him, and Schuldig anxiously calling his name. "Huh?"

"Ran, do you know where you are? Can you tell me your name?"

With difficulty, he remembered to use his new name, not the one he had been born with, and told her he was in the clinic. She flashed a light in his eyes, which hurt, dammit, and took a number of other measurements. "What happened?"

"Your eyes rolled back in your head and you started to convulse," Schuldig said tightly.

"Right, I'm going to do an EEG on him and some other tests. Schu, please, I need you to leave. Paul, will you set up the EEG? Schu, you might let Omi know about this, and tell whoever needs to know that I think I'll need to keep Ran in overnight."

"No...." Ran struggled to sit up. "No hospitals." Dr Fielding was no match for his superior, trained strength, and he managed to get to his feet despite her efforts and his dizziness. Schu watched him grim-faced, clearly thinking he was out of his mind. "No tests. Schu, take me home."

"No, Ran, I won't. What if you have another fit, in the car or in the house?"

"Schu...." Ran began to fall forward, and this time Schuldig caught him and helped him back to the bed. Ran clutched at his shirt. "Please. Please, no tests. Don't let them. Schu, don't let them."

"Liebling, you're having fits. That's no joke. Let her test you. I won't let them hurt you." Schuldig peered at him, his wide eyes full of worry. "Ran, we have to know what this is."

"But...." He wanted to tell Schuldig that they couldn't let this doctor look inside his head, but his mouth was full of cotton, and his sight was greying out.

And then there was nothing at all.

Ken jumped as the office door was slammed open and Schuldig stalked in. "Ran's been taken ill," he said curtly.

Omi stood. "Sick? What's wrong?"

"He's having fits, passing out. Maybe epilepsy. Has he ever had anything like this?"

Omi looked at Ken. "No. Nothing. The Kritiker medical records had nothing in them at all about that – we were all tested for any predisposition to that kind of thing. Did he have an accident? When did this start?"

"Last night, " Schuldig admitted. "He didn't have a fit, but he thought he had a vision – saw Yohji in some distress – but today it was actual fits. Out by the lake, just after you left him."

"Oh, God," Louise said softly. "Is he all right?"

"They don't know. Omi.... He doesn't want to be tested by them, but we can't let him just go to a normal hospital. You need to keep this under control."

"Of course. I'll go there now."

"Wait, Omi, let me go too," Ken insisted, glancing at Louise who nodded.

"All right. Schu, let's go."

The other two could have left him behind easily, but Schuldig restrained himself, although his worry and impatience were obvious. Of all the blind, bloody luck, Ken thought bitterly. This would happen when Yohji was away.

He knew epilepsy could come on suddenly, because of illness or injury or sometimes without any warning. He'd known a football player who'd stopped playing because he'd developed it. He really hoped that wasn't what had happened to Ran.

The small clinic was quiet, and they were met by the secretary who told them to wait for Dr Fielding. Omi and Schuldig waited with ill-concealed tension, but then Omi made a small sound of distress, and Schuldig stood up, his eyes wild. "Ran! God...."

Omi grabbed at his arm. "Don't... you don't know what you might interrupt. Wait...."

"What's going on?" Ken demanded, frustrated that his paranormal companions could feel something of which he had no inkling.

"He's had another fit," Schuldig said from between gritted teeth. "God...."

Omi made him sit down, and insisted they all wait for news. Schuldig was clearly concentrating, probably reading the minds of the medical staff, but he said nothing. Omi kept a close eye on him, one hand on Schuldig's arm. All Ken could do was wait with them and hope.

It was more than half an hour before Dr Fielding came in to see them. "He's sedated now, and we've given him something to try and stop the fits. He was fine but then he started to go out of control around the time you guys came back. He's got no history of any brain disorder? No epilepsy, fits?"

"Nothing," Omi confirmed. "What are you going to do?"

"I can run some more tests but he needs to be in a bigger facility. I would suggest we keep him in overnight and then I'll arrange for him to go to a specialist centre for an MRI. I'll need to arrange an escort for security reasons...."

"I'll go, " Schuldig said.

"We all will," Omi corrected.

"Fine, you're the boss. But he's asleep and will be for a while, so you should leave him be. If you want to drop over after work, Schu, that's fine. You could bring his toiletries, pyjamas and that kind of thing. You can sit with him this evening for a little while, but he'll have the mother of all headaches, I'm warning you now."

Omi put his hand on Schuldig's arm. "Why don't you go back to the house and get his stuff? Dr Fielding, I think we should release Schu from his other work today. I doubt any of us would concentrate under these circumstances."

"No, of course not," she readily agreed. "I have things to work on with Wendy, but I can send her home early too. Now don't any of you worry, okay? If it's epilepsy, it's a controllable condition, and it could just be something else entirely that might just go away. Ran's not going to die, I can promise you that."

Ken at least appreciated her kind words, but he could see Schuldig was unconvinced. "Schu, why don't we both go back and get his things? I'll drive you. Is that okay with you, Omi?"

"Sure. Take your time. I'll make sure Louise doesn't get eaten by the rampaging G-men."

The joke made Ken smile a little, but nothing could lift the anxiety from Schuldig's face. The German said nothing as Ken drove them back, Schu's expression dark as thunder. Ken didn't know the words to console him. "Ran's really tough, you know," he ventured as they got back to the house. Omi suggested that they took their time, since Ran was not going to wake up, and the unspoken given was that an upset, worried Schuldig was just a time bomb waiting to go off. "You know he's come through much worse than this."

"We don't even know what 'this' is, Ken, so spare me the platitudes." He raked his hand through his hair. "Pyjamas. Ran doesn't wear the damn things."

"I have a spare pair, " Ken offered. "Brand new. Just in case I need to go into hospital for tests and stuff. They'll fit him more or less. In our room, in the bottom drawer of the dresser."

Schuldig threw him a look of gratitude, but when he came out holding the packet, he seemed lost. "What if it's a tumour? What if it's his cancer come back again? "

"It's not, probably not." Ken wheeled himself over to the sink and filled the kettle up to make tea. "Even if it is, they can treat those. And even if they can't ... Schu, that's a lot of ifs right there."

Schuldig sat down in one of the chairs, clutching the pyjama packet as if it was a soft toy. "He just... went down like he'd been shot." He rested his chin on the packet. "If anything happens to him... what will I tell Yohji?"

"First of all, nothing is going to happen to him," Ken said firmly. "And if anything does, you won't be alone and neither will Yohji. Don't be defeatist, Schu."

"You didn't know the kind of things that doctor was thinking," Schuldig said grimly. "She's worried."

"That's her job. Of course she's thinking of the worst case scenario. That's what she's trained to do."

The kettle clicked off and since Schuldig was still deep in his funk, Ken attended to the makings, finally shoving a cup of tea in front of Schuldig. "I don't want anything," Schuldig said, frowning at him.

"Tough. Drink it, it'll do you good, and we don't want to get back just yet. You need to keep it together, Schu. Ran needs you now. They both do. But we'll be there to back you up, whatever happens. We're your team."

Schuldig made a small sound of derision, but he picked up the cup anyway and sipped from it. "I'm on your team until Omi decides I'm more trouble than I'm worth. And then he's going to auction me off to the highest bidder."

"Wow, that's some fucking telepathy you got there, Schuldig, reading thoughts that aren't even there, because if you pulled that out of Omi's head, I'm a baboon."

Schuldig wouldn't meet his gaze. "Don't need to be a mind reader to work that one out, Ken. How long do you think he can keep them at bay? And then who do you think he'd opt to save? Weiss or me?"

"You are Weiss, you moron. And Omi's done a pretty good job of keeping all of us out of anyone else's hands. If he fails, it won't be because he's not trying. You could try working with him instead of against him for a change, you know."

Schuldig gave him the evil eye for that, staring balefully over the cup, still holding the pyjamas close to his body. Ken held his hand out for them - Schuldig seemed confused, and then embarrassed, thrusting them at Ken as if they'd burned him. "He's gonna be okay," Ken said gently.

"You can't possibly know that," Schuldig sneered.

"You can't possibly know that I'm wrong," Ken replied calmly, taking a sip from his own tea. "Tell me about the implants."

"I don't want to talk about the fucking implants, Ken!"

"Then talk about the fucking weather, Schu. But you're not going back there in this state. Look – Ran's already under a lot of stress because of Yohji, and he's worried to death about you. If you go back like this, you'll make things worse. So you're going to drink your tea, calm down, talk to me like we're friends or something, and then you'll go back and smile at Ran and let him think that you've got a grip on yourself. If Yohji was here, he'd sit on you too."

"Looking for being the team mother hen in his place, KenKen?"

"No, I think Ran's got that covered, oddly enough. At least where you're concerned. That's kinda scary, having him adopt you like family. Must be like having a father and an older brother and a kid all roiled up in one, isn't it?"

Schuldig smiled reluctantly. "Yeah, it is. It's really nice. But scary. I don't deserve either of them."

"Hey, I don't deserve Louise, but I can't seem to shake her off, so what are you gonna do, huh? We just have to lie there and take it." He grinned and forced another reluctant half smile out of his companion. "Anyway, deserve, don't deserve, it's all crap. They make their choice and we don't argue because we love them, right?"

"I guess." Schuldig looked distracted. "I really should go...."

"No. Leave it until three, okay? Let him sleep. Schu, could it be anything to do with his abilities? Are they strong enough to cause this?"

Schuldig frowned. "We were just talking about that when it suddenly started to get worse. The best guess I have is that it's linked to Yohji's leaving, maybe the stress of that."

"But he's been through much worse – what about his sister dying?"

"I know, Ken. Goddamit! I'm clutching at straws! It makes no fucking sense. One minute he's talking to me, the next minute he's jerking all over the fucking floor!"

Schuldig closed his eyes as if he was in pain. Ken felt profound sympathy for him – it was bad enough for Ken that it was a team mate. If it were Louise, he'd be going nuts. "Ten to one, next week things will be completely normal, Schu. You know we lurch from crisis to crisis on this team."

"This isn't funny, Hidaka."

"No, it's not. Schu, if you don't calm down, you're gonna end up next to him in that clinic and I don't mean in a good way." Ken went to the fridge. "I haven't had lunch. You had yours?"

Schuldig shook his head. "We were just about to eat when this happened. But I'm not hungry."

"Probably not, but if you don't eat now, you'll probably forget to later on and that will just make you crankier and more tired and more likely to be irrational. So why don't I make us something and that'll kill a little more time. Then you can call the clinic and get an update. Sound reasonable?"

"Why are you doing this?"

Ken leaned forward. "Schuldig. I am your friend. You came to my wedding. Not because I had to ask you, I wanted you there. You're my team mate. I'm Ran's friend and team mate. There are any number of reasons to help you, and not a single reason not to. Did you question Nagi when he helped you out? Or Farfarello?" It seemed strange to bring these names up after so long but he had to make his point.

"They wouldn't do all this for me."

"Bet they would have if you'd needed it. Schu, we like you. We want to help you. Not just for their sake, for your own. Omi's worried about you, I'm worried about you and so is Lou. Just accept it and let us help."

Schuldig put the heels of his hands against his eyes. "God damn it, what's wrong with him?" he murmured. "Give me a minute, Ken." He pushed the chair back noisily and strode out.

Ken heard the back door open and slam shut. He sighed. Poor bastard.

By dint of urging and teasing and not a little bullying, Ken persuaded Schuldig to eat lunch, and not race straight back to the offices. A call to the clinic confirmed Ran was resting peacefully, and they didn't want him disturbed. Ken called Louise and handled a little business over the phone. The rest of the time, Schuldig was out in the yard, poking at plants fretfully, no doubt thinking of Ran's love of their other garden. Ken tried not to worry too much about Ran, aware Schuldig could and probably would read his mind without hesitation, but it was difficult not to think about the implications of the situation. A gunshot or a stab wound was one thing – illness was another. Ran's strange leukaemia two years ago had put a huge strain on all of them, but at least that was something they could understand. Brain disease was another order of problem, and it could very well spell the end of Ran's active career in the field. How his older friend would take that, Ken didn't know for sure. He did know that Ran really hated inactivity, or letting anyone else fight his battles. If he did have to retire, the rest of them would suffer for that, Ken knew.

But at three, Schuldig insisted on returning and Ken had no arguments to hold him back any longer. Once they were back at the clinic, Schuldig rushed in ahead of him, Ken necessarily following more sedately, and caught up with him talking to Dr Fielding. She was clearly offering reassurance, and Schuldig looked a little more relaxed. Ken was just about to join them to get confirmation that all was well when the male nurse called out for Dr Fielding to come quickly and she rushed along the corridor to Ran's room. Schuldig headed after her and Ken followed.

They found Ran convulsing, not as violently as Ken had feared, but clearly distressed, and Ken could tell Schuldig was struggling with his impulse to run to his lover's side. His hand gripped the door with white knuckles.

Ran was injected, and as soon as he stilled, Dr Fielding noticed them and ordered them out. "I'll find you in a minute. Go wait outside."

Ken dragged Schuldig back to the waiting room they'd used the previous day when the implant had been tested – that seemed such a long time ago. Schuldig hugged himself and seemed to be absorbed in his anxiety. Ken thought he should call Omi, but decided to wait until they had more news. It might not be as bad as it looked, after all. Yeah, sure, he told himself.

It took a very long time before Dr Fielding came back, looking grim faced. "He was fine until a few minutes ago. That's the second time he's had a fit when you guys came in. It's like he's waiting for you."

It was obviously just intended as a kind of black medical joke, but Schuldig's eyes narrowed. "Have you got brain wave monitors on him? Are you taking measurements right now?"

"Sure we are, but...."

"I'm going outside. Please go watch them and tell me if you know when I've returned."

"Schu...."

"Please, I have a theory. Can it do any harm?"

"No," she admitted. "Give me a minute to get back in there."

Ken watched, puzzled, as they both left. What the fuck was Schuldig up to? He could only wait for the five or so minutes it took for Schuldig to return. Almost as soon as he came back in, the doctor returned also, looking excited. "His brain patterns spiked! They dropped to completely normal until just a moment ago! He's reacting to you."

Schu nodded grimly. "I even had my implant turned off. Now we need to know if it's just me, or any paranormal. Ken, I'm going to get Omi. Please wait for him."

Ken stared as Schuldig left again. "Are you saying Ran's developed some kind of allergy to Schu?" he asked Dr Fielding.

"I don’t want to say anything, but there's certainly a reaction. I know you boys are all somewhat sensitive to Schu and to a lesser extent, to Omi. Maybe Ran's triggered a more intense response. We'll know soon. This could be very interesting, you know."

Ken wanted to yell at her that it was his damn friend lying in there being thrown around the bed by his own brain, but restricted himself to giving her a dirty look which she ignored. She left shortly afterwards, presumably to see if Omi's arrival caused any reaction.

Apparently it didn't, Dr Fielding said. "I need to run some more tests. Please ask Schu to return, would you? And Omi, I think it might be best if you weren't in the building, in case it skews my results."

Omi nodded and put his hand on Ken's shoulder. "Please stay with Schu, keep me informed. Dr Fielding, how long will it take?"

"An hour or two, although there are other investigations I would like to run on Ran just to be sure we're not dealing with a pathological condition."

"Are you going to keep him in overnight?" Ken asked.

"That depends. He's going to be very tired and sorry for himself regardless and if we can't narrow down what's causing this, then it would be safer for him."

"Ran will hate that," Ken said to Omi.

"Yes, I know, but if it's for his safety, I will insist. I'll be with Louise the rest of the afternoon, page me if you can't locate me."

Ken agreed and Omi left. "This is very exciting," Dr Fielding said. "To have Ran develop such sensitivity is just extraordinary."

"Yeah, well I'm a bit more worried about his having fits than anything else," Ken said bluntly. "Don't you think you should keep an eye on him if Schu's coming back?"

She seemed unfazed by his rudeness. "He's sedated. But you can come down to the room when he arrives. I'll meet you there."

Schu arrived back only a minute later and Ken wasted no time in getting them both back to Ran's room. They found Ran asleep – or unconscious – surrounded by equipment, and hooked up to what seemed dozens of leads. "There, you see, Schu? A very clear response to your presence. Have you got your implant on or off?"

"Off." Schu looked pained, and stared at Ran as if he thought he might disappear if he failed to keep his eyes on him.

"Then can you switch it on, to the lowest level? Don't make any attempt to read his mind though."

Schu obeyed, and immediately the monitors spiked. At the doctor's request, Schuldig gradually raised the power – and there was no question, Ran was responding to the increases. "But you saw nothing with Omi?" Schuldig asked.

"A tiny blip – pretty much the same thing we always see in you guys when he's around. I think it may be something to do with your emotional attachments as much as Omi's powers. But I'm going to do some more checking."

For the next hour, Schuldig patiently allowed the doctor to send him away, bring him back, play with the levels of his implant power, and make other observations. At the end of it, it was very clear. Schuldig was directly triggering Ran's sudden, strange reactions. Ken asked for and received permission to let Omi know, and they were sent to wait outside while Dr Fielding and the nurse made some slight changes to Ran's medication.

Schuldig sat on a bench on the patch of lawn outside the clinic, his arms once again tightly around him, his eyes lost and sad. Omi was there in under five minutes and crouched in front of him. "Tell me what's going on," he said gently.

"I'm killing him. Just by being near him."

Ken cleared his throat. "Ran's sensitive to his presence. But she doesn't know if he's going to keep having fits. It's possible he'll adjust."

"Or he'll just get worse," Schuldig said miserably.

"But why now? I don’t understand what's changed," Omi asked.

"Yohji," Ken said. "It has to be him being gone. Maybe it's taken a few days before it got this bad – you said it came on last night, but he didn't have a fit then, did he?" Schuldig shook his head. "So it's gradually got worse over time." He shrugged. "That's my theory."

Omi looked at Schuldig. "Can it be Yohji leaving?"

"Maybe," Schuldig said, but then he slapped his head. "The link... that damn link! Yohji's not just gone, the link's been disrupted by the memory erasure!"

"What damn link?" Ken wanted to know. No one told him anything these days.

"Are you sure?" Omi only asked.

"It has to be, Omi. Look, Ran knows when Yohji's severely distressed, at a subconscious level – I think that's why he had those dreams in London." What damn dreams? Ken wanted to know. "And I think this time ... do we know what's happening with Yohji right now, Ken?"

"Not in precise detail. I think he's probably made contact." That was as much as Ken was prepared to say in public.

"Then I bet that's it," Schuldig said in a low voice. "Either Yohji is or is about to be distressed, Ran's just precognitive enough to know that at some level, and the link is unbalanced – the energies are back washing. I'm feeling it a little too – really bad nightmares, that kind of thing – but I've got more capacity to deal with it. Ran can't. That has to be it. And maybe Yohji acts like a dampener on him too, normally, like he does on you, Omi."

"Can we test this?" Omi wanted to know.

"Not without giving them a lot more information than we want to," Schuldig said, still keeping his voice very low indeed. "If I'm right - it'll get better when Yohji returns. If not...."

"If not, you and Ran will have to be separated until we solve this." Schuldig nodded, his face miserable.

Omi touched Schuldig's knee. "Maybe there's another answer. But this means Ran isn't actually ill, which is the most important thing." He stood up and sat next to Schuldig. "I'm sorry. I never thought this would happen."

Schuldig gave Omi a sharp look – Ken held his breath, expecting Schuldig to really let fly – but then his expressions softened. "No one could have predicted this one. Maybe Crawford, but not you or me. But it means our red-haired friend is even more special than we thought, and you have to keep him safe, Omi."

"I'm going to keep you all safe, Schu. Just work with me. Please, I want to help you all."

Omi appealed to Schuldig with his large, innocent eyes and Ken knew no one had the power to resist them – not even cynical German telepaths. Their own cynical German telepath sighed. "Okay. The easiest thing is if one of us is in Brisbane and the other one stays here. I need to be here, but can you spare him up there?"

"I'll just have to, if it's a matter of his health. But how will you cope?"

Omi stared earnestly at Schuldig, who gave him a wry smile. "I'll just have to manage. I've endured worse. It's not like we can't speak on the phone, or use email."

"I'll set you guys up that webcam I keep meaning to put in," Ken added. "Would you like that?"

"Sure, Ken. Ran will appreciate it."

Ken spotted Dr Fielding walking towards them. "How is he?" Schuldig asked without wasting time on polite preliminaries.

"He's going to be fine, I think. I can't wait to test him and find out more about this...."

Omi shook his head. "I'm sorry, that's not going to happen. Ran's health is more important than the programme, and now we've established that he's become sensitive to Schu's... special talents, I think the best thing is to keep Ran away from him for now."

"But we don't know why it's started, or if it will continue, or what's causing it. It's a great opportunity for our research, Omi."

"I'm sorry," Omi said with implacable politeness. "But that's my decision. Our cooperation depends on yours over this."

She wasn't very happy at the threat, that much was clear. "And is that all you can offer as a way of dealing with this situation? It could very well mean Ran and Schu will have to remain separated for the rest of their lives."

"We suspect it's a temporary situation. If it's not, then we will have to deal with it. But right now, all that matters is that we can stop Ran having these fits. How long before you can release him?"

She pursed her lips. "Let me run some more tests. If you're serious about sending him away, then I would like to make sure someone is monitoring him up there. And it really would be wise to check from time to time that this 'sensitivity' isn't getting worse. Can't you give me a few days with him?"

"For his benefit or yours?"

She stiffened. "The programme's – but it's benefiting all of you."

"Not this," Schuldig snarled. "Is there a medical reason he can't go home tonight?"

"No," she said after a moment's hesitation. "If he's up to it. He will have a headache, I warned you about that. I'm not releasing him if he's still dizzy, and of course, he can't stay where you are, Schu. He will need someone to watch him – preferably stay in the same room."

Schuldig looked at Omi. "He hates being in hospital. The distress isn't worth it. I can stay in a hotel tonight, and he can fly back tomorrow."

"You can stay at Lou's parents' place," Ken said. "Or he can."

"No, let him sleep at the house. You and Louise can keep an eye on him?"

"Sure we can."

The doctor seemed to know she was beaten. "Fine. Give me an hour and when he wakes up, I'll release him. But he's not flying anywhere until he's had that MRI."

"Arrange it as quickly as you can, please," Omi said firmly. "Doctor, if you don't need Schu, he should leave to ensure Ran doesn’t have any more attacks. Ken, could you stay here? I'll be back later to tell him what's going on."

"If that's your decision, then please excuse me, gentlemen, I have work to do," Dr Fielding said, not without a certain amount of irritation.

The three men ignored her as she left. "Ken, please look after him for me?" Schuldig asked as he stood up.

"Schu, I was watching his back a long time before you even knew he existed," Ken reminded him. "It's only temporary, right? It started because Yohji left, it'll stop when Yohji comes back. I told you it wasn't anything serious, didn’t I?"

Schuldig gave him a wan smile. "Yes, KenKen, you did."

"Okay, let's go," Omi said. "I'll explain it to Louise, Ken."

"Okay." And then maybe someone could explain it all over again to Ken. Gods – paranormals. They should just be called 'not fucking normals' because everything about them was weird. But at least Ran wasn't sick. Ken didn’t have to worry about how he was going to tell his best friend how his lover had got broken when they were supposed to be looking after him. All they had to do now was keep Schu from going nuts and Ran from getting depressed.

Easy as falling off a log, really. Ken looked at his legs. That wasn't actually all that easy for him.

Ran didn't normally experience disorientation when he woke – he was usually instantly aware of where he was and who he was with. So, as he had no idea where he was, or why his head hurt so very badly, he assumed he was dreaming. That didn't stop him trying to work out what the hell was going on. "Ran?"

Turning his head made it throb, but he could see Omi. Why was Omi in his bedroom? And where were Yohji and Schu? "What...?" His mouth was as dry as dust, but then there was something marvellously cool and wet at his lips. He sipped the water eagerly.

"Take it easy, Ran. You're in the clinic. You're going to be okay."

Clinic? "Why am I here? Why are you here?"

Omi helped him finish the water before he would answer. "You've suffered a series of fits – you don't remember?"

Ran tried to recall, but there was nothing since he left the house that morning – at least, he presumed it was that morning. "What happened?"

"You passed out a couple of times – Schu brought you to the clinic, and you've had several fits since then, which is why you're feeling so bad and why you can't remember. Some of it might come back to you later."

"I'm sick?" Ran couldn't understand it. He'd been fine that morning. "The flu?"

"No, it's not an illness. It's Schuldig."

Ran closed his eyes. He had to be dreaming. "No. He wouldn't."

"No, no, you misunderstand me – he's not doing anything to you deliberately. You've suddenly developed a sensitivity to his brain wave patterns."

Ram covered his eyes. "That's impossible. I've been sleeping with him for more than a year, Omi." He wished his head would stop pounding. His vision was greying out in time to every beat.

"Ran, this is my fault. I sent Yohji away, and because we erased his memory, Schu thinks ... it's affecting you." Omi leaned closer. "Can't say more here," he whispered.

That at least made sense. "Can I go? Can I see him?"

"Soon, and no. Ran, you and he have to stay physically separated at least until this settles down."

Ran struggled to sit. The room spun unpleasantly but he held on to his stomach and his consciousness. He felt Omi's hand on his back. "I need to see him. It's not his fault."

"No, it's not, but it's too dangerous. He won't permit it, Ran. You can talk to him when we get home."

Ran peered at Omi. His leader looked frayed. "Where is he?"

"Louise's parents' house. You're coming back with us, and after they run an MRI on you tomorrow, you'll go back to Brisbane."

"Alone? What about the programme? Who'll...?" This was ridiculous. "I have to stay. It can't be Schu. There must be another explanation."

"Possibly, but all the indicators are that Schu's presence is triggering quite nasty fits and none of us want to risk that. Ran, listen to me. Schu still needs you. He needs to know you're okay. He doesn't need to worry about you."

Ran started to nod, but stopped because it felt like his head was going to fall off. "I can still stay in Canberra though."

"No, you can't. You can't be in the same building, and he has to be here. You're officially on sick leave for now. I want you up north and safe."

"But... the programme... who will run it?"

"Louise." Omi fiddled with the edge of the sheet covering Ran's legs. He noticed he'd been put into some really rather horrible pyjamas. "I've asked her to work with Schu, and when you're up to it, you can take over her role temporarily. I'd like you to handle the intelligence from Yohji's mission for one thing. It's not ideal, but at least you'll be busy. And we think this will all end when Yohji gets home."

"What if he never comes back?"

Omi stared at him, the blue depths of his eyes revealing nothing. "Then we cross that bridge when we come to it. Yohji made me promise to look after the two of you while he was gone, and that's what I'm doing. Are you ready to leave?"

He still felt completely dazed, but he desperately wanted to get out of this hospital environment. He nodded and Omi went to fetch the doctor. Ran struggled to make sense of he'd just learned, and failed. How could he suddenly be harmed by one of the things which had brought him so much joy over the last year? And how must Schuldig feel? He badly wanted to talk to him. Maybe in short bursts, they could talk in person.

He just didn't understand how Yohji's departure could do this. They'd been separated before, usually with Ran being the one who'd left. He was inclined to think that the doctors had got it wrong.

"Ah, all awake now. How are you feeling, Ran?"

He looked up at Dr Fielding and tried to portray calmness and complete readiness to leave. "I'm fine. I'd like to go home now."

"Just let me check a few things." He endured a light in his eyes which made his headache pound unpleasantly, and questions about his level of awareness and what he remembered.

But finally she said he could go. "I've arranged an MRI tomorrow at the specialist clinic – Omi has the details. You are not to fly until you've had it, and you aren't to drive at all until you get the all clear. Omi, someone needs to stay with him tonight in the room where he sleeps, in case he fits."

"I'll deal with that. Does he need any medication?"

"Just ibuprofen for the headache, and I'll give you something for possible nausea. If he has another fit, then call my emergency number. I'll come right out. Ran, you could stay tonight. It would make things easier for your friends."

Ran clenched his fists. If it really would be easier.... "No," Omi said firmly. "He's coming home. Ran, I'll help you get dressed. Please excuse us, doctor."

Ran was glad Omi was there to bully people. He felt unequal even to changing his clothes, and he really needed Omi's help, much to his chagrin. He had to lean on the younger man as he walked slowly out of the clinic. "Here," Omi said, handing him... Schuldig's sunglasses?

"Why do you have these?"

"You had them on when he brought you into the clinic. He said you might need them."

Ran put them on, the relief from the setting sun's rays instantaneous, but his heart seized with pain thinking of what Schuldig must be going through. "Is he all right, Omi? Is someone going to look after him?"

"He's okay, and yes, I will. I'll drop over there for supper and come back to watch you, and then when you go back, either I or Ken and Louise will make sure he's looked after. You worry about yourself, Ran. You gave us all a fright today. I'm just glad Yohji wasn't here – he'd be having kittens."

Omi helped Ran get into the car that he, Schu and Yohji usually used. Ran realised Omi must have dropped Schu off and returned in this vehicle. "The others?" He had no idea what time it was – he looked at the car clock, and saw it was nearly seven.

"Back home, waiting. Dr Fielding thought it was best not to wake you up, so I waited until you did on your own."

Omi started the car up. Ran lay limply in the passenger seat. It all seemed so much of a struggle, to stay alert, to understand this turn of events....

"Wake up, Ran, we're here."

He looked about him, and realised he'd dropped off for the ten minute drive back to the house. Louise was already at his door, opening it and offering to help him walk to the house. It was humiliating to need the assistance of a woman just to get to his own front door, but he was forced to lean on her quite heavily – it was either that or take a nosedive onto the concrete driveway. "Maybe they shouldn't have let him out so soon," Louise said to Omi over his head.

"Well, he's here now. Let's just get him to bed."

He seemed to be losing blocks of time. Things happened too fast, and he was in one location, and then another, without any sense of how he'd got from one place to the other. It was pure relief to be on the solid support of the bed, even if he did have to accept Omi's help in getting undressed again. "You should go to Schu," Ran insisted in an embarrassingly weak voice. All this was unacceptable. He had to be more together than this.

"Just going now. One of them will watch you until I get back. Are you hungry? I think they've eaten, but there will be soup or something, I'm sure."

The very thought of food made him queasy. "No. Just go and make sure he's okay."

Omi straightened up. "Yes. I'll tell him you'll talk to him tomorrow. You just rest. Dr Fielding said you'll be pretty ropey for a day or so, but you'll feel fine after that. Your brain just needs to recover."

Ran nodded. It made sense, although he knew nothing of the medical facts behind what had happened to him. He rolled over, and then there was a blessed nothing.

Ken had just read the last check in from Jensen when he heard the car in the drive, and Omi was in the house a couple of minutes later. "How is he?" Omi asked as soon as he got in.

"Hasn't moved, woken or made a sound. As far as I or Lou can tell, he's just sleeping very soundly."

"Good, I'm sure he needs it after the day he's had." Omi sat down and rubbed his neck.

"You were a long time with Schu." It was nearly midnight – Omi had been with him for hours.

"Yeah, we had a lot to talk about. I also wanted to be sure he was going to be okay on his own. Ran seems to think he needs someone with him, and after what I saw tonight, I tend to agree. The only problem is, Ran needs someone too, at least until we can be sure this really is to do with Schuldig and not some medical condition. I'll fly back to Brisbane for the rest of the week, and take it from there." He laid his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes. "We're going to be stretched thin. If I'd known Yohji's departure would cause all this, I would never have agreed to it."

"You didn't know. Is it too late to call him back?"

"And make all the pain he and the others have suffered mean nothing? Ran would kill me. Yohji would never forgive me. Don't ask me what Schuldig will say. No, we just have to tolerate it. I just hope Yohji's mission succeeds sooner rather than later."

"And there's no hope that this thing with Ran and Schu will go away?" Ken really had no understanding of what this whole thing was. No one had explained the mysterious link which was apparently behind it all, and he doubted Omi wanted to get into it now.

"No idea, Ken. At the moment, the whole thing is putting Schu under enormous stress, and he doesn't need more of it. Sure, if Ran were okay, that would actually help, but if Ran was made even worse...." Omi rubbed his forehead. "You know, I think life was easier before I got my sight back."

"Yeah – Yohji took all the strain back then. If he never comes back... Omi, Weiss can't operate without him."

"No, I know. I made a mistake in thinking we could. He seemed to think he wasn't that important, and I let him convince me. Just because I...." Omi clenched his fist.

"You miss him?" Ken said gently.

"Like I missed my sight. Like you miss being able to walk," Omi said tightly. "What have I done, Ken? Look at what's happened to us because of me."

"It's not because of you, Omi," Ken protested. "You said yourself – this woman is important and Yohji was perfect for the job, and he wanted to do it. Damn it, we've all made sacrifices to fight Estet."

Omi only shook his head. "The war will go on long after you and I are dead, Ken. Estet has been around for over sixty years and will probably last many more. I want it controlled, and I'm not saying we're not doing good work. But I want us all safe."

"Don't forget we feel the same about you, Omi."

"Some of you do. Schuldig probably wants to kill me ninety percent of the time."

"Probably only twenty three percent," Ken joked. "Omittchi, you're in a group of assassins. If anyone really wanted you dead, you'd be dead. And with Schu's powers, none of us would even remember it was him. " Ken closed his laptop down. "Lou's put the inflatable mattress down in Ran's room. She said she could sleep on it, if you were tired."

"No, let me. Ran would be embarrassed to find her in there and besides, I've done my bit for splitting up happy couples today," Omi said with some bitterness. "I really don't know who's more worse off – Ran or Schu. I don't know whether I envy or fear that kind of love."

"You do both. You want it, and you're afraid to lose it. It's the scariest thing in the world, Omi."

Omi smiled wearily. "But you wouldn't give it up for anything. That's how they feel too." But then he grew serious once more. "I had no right to screw three people's lives up like this. When Yohji gets back, I swear I'll make it up to them somehow."

"When Yohji gets back, you won't need to. Why don't you go to bed? Lou's in there, everything's made up."

Omi stood. "Thanks, I will. I've messed up your lives too, haven't I? Making you stay down here?"

Ken shrugged, and prepared to wheel himself into his own bedroom. "We can go back weekends. Lou's got medical appointments she needs to keep. And it's only for a while. We signed up for this, Omi. Never forget, we're doing this by choice."

"Schu isn't," Omi said darkly. "But I promise, he will have a choice. I'll make it happen."

"Then it will, Omi. I trust you. You care about us and that makes up for a lot. He knows that too, however much of a prick he is sometimes."

"Possibly. I'll see you at the office. I'll let Ran sleep as long as he needs to, and then get him to his appointment. Once that's done, we can book the flights. I just hope that MRI comes back clear," he added worriedly. "It can't be his cancer again, can it?"

"No, it can't," Ken said firmly. "It's just one of your weird paranormal things, okay? You don't have enough things to worry about that you have to drag that in too? Just go to bed and stop being leader." He looked pointedly at his watch. "You're off the clock."

"Whatever you say, Saki-san," Omi said with a tired grin.

Louise put her head out. "What's Saki-san done now?"

"Told him to be a good little Weiss and get some sleep," Ken said.

"Good idea. You too, Ken. Ran's dead to the world, Omi. I don't think you'll have any problems with him."

"That'd be a first then," Ken said sarcastically. Omi made a face and left them to go into Ran's room.

Once they were settled in bed, Louise came into his arms and kissed him gently. "I don't understand any of this, Ken."

"Me neither, love."

"Poor Ran – he never gets a break." Louise didn't even know the full story behind Ran being in Weiss – all she knew was his parents and sister had been killed, but the details had not been gone into as much to spare Ran's feelings as her sensibilities. But even with the little she did know, she often remarked that Ran had suffered a lot for someone so young, and it was amazing he wasn't more bitter than he was about things. "Will it be all right when Yohji gets back?" she asked, nuzzling against his shoulder.

He rested his cheek against her dark hair, loving how soft it was against his face. "I hope so. Omi's worried because we're all being split up - he's sorry he's disrupting us."

"Oh, he shouldn't worry about that. We knew this might happen," she said calmly.

"Yeah. I told him that."

"He should worry about himself," she said firmly. "Yohji says he needs a girlfriend and he's right."

"Er, hon, I think he swings more the other way. He had it bad for Yohji for a while, when he was a teenager."

She peered up at him. "Really? I thought you said he was bi."

"Well, he is, but I think he prefers guys to girls, just like I prefer girls over guys. Mostly. Not that I prefer anyone over you now," he added with a grin as she pretended to smack him. "To be honest with you, I think finding someone who can deal with his empathy and... well, who he is, is going to be harder than finding the right gender." They hadn't told Louise all that had happened to Omi either – Omi preferred not to talk about it. Only the men of Weiss knew all of it, and that only because they'd had little choice in finding out.

"Maybe one of the new people who gets an implant might be able to deal with it. You know, being in the same boat."

"I don't know. Schu said empaths usually end up being alone, like a lot of the telepaths did, just because they can't handle being that close to anyone."

She tightened her arms around him. "I couldn't stand being alone for the rest of my life, Ken. If we had to split up like Ran and Schu, or them and Yohji, I'd go crazy."

He kissed her hair. "Even if something happens to one of us, I hope we'll have the kids to keep the other one going. And we'll always have Weiss."

"I know," she said slowly. "But...there must be someone out there for Omi."

"Maybe, love. But even if there is, it doesn't mean he's ready for them." He laid his cheek against her hair again. "If we can just get through this, if Yohji comes back safe, I think we'll be okay."

"And if he doesn't?" she asked quietly.

"Then it's going to be tough for everyone," Ken said grimly. "Let's go to sleep. You're going to have a hell of a busy day tomorrow, and we have no idea what Schu's going to be like without Ran. You're going to need a whip and a chair."

"I'll take my bow in. I think the idea of having seventy centimetres of carbon fibre arrow stuck in his backside might concentrate his mind."

Ken laughed at the idea of Schu running around squawking at having been shot in the ass by Louise. He was too tired to talk much after that, and despite his worries, found himself drifting into sleep easily enough. Like his wife, he would need a clear head for the following day.

And for the days and weeks after that, if he was any judge.

Chapter Text

Ran sighed as he shuffled his notes. He was trying not to be too ungrateful that his friends cared about him so much, while at the same time he was determined to enjoy the three-hour interval between Omi's departure ten minutes ago and the arrival of Ken and Louise for the weekend. He literally had not been left alone for more than five minutes for nearly two weeks, and it had truly tried his temper, even though he understood why Omi had done this. It wasn't even purely for his own benefit, although the concern over his sudden epileptic episodes was real and perfectly understandable. Omi was guilt-ridden and anxious and, Ran thought, rather lonely. It hadn't occurred to Ran how much Omi missed Yohji when he was away, or how much Omi needed Yohji's gentle teasing and affection. Omi hadn't exactly spilled his guts – neither of them were men for doing that – but it was surprising how much Ran picked up from what Omi wasn't saying.

Yohji's empathy must be rubbing off on him, he thought sardonically. So, he hadn't really begrudged Omi's constant attendance, and given how busy Omi was and the time at which this had all occurred, it was very kind of him to do it rather than force Louise and Ken apart. It had, at least, given Omi the opportunity to fully brief him on the mission Yohji was undertaking, giving him full access to the codes and making him responsible for the check ins and dispersal of reports. For the first time, Ran was privy to just what kind of woman Li Kwan was, and how important her role in the terrorism attacks could be. He also understood how Yohji was indeed the perfect person for the role and he now regretted the unkind thoughts he'd had about Omi. He knew Schuldig didn't have this information, and wished he could give him it – but even if he were allowed to, it would probably only make things worse for Schuldig and at the moment, he didn't need that.

It was hours before he could speak to Schuldig on the secure net phone link Omi had arranged, and he wanted to look over the new information Omi had arranged for him. Since Ran was, humiliatingly to his mind, reduced to shuffling papers for the foreseeable future, he was determined to leave no stone unturned in his attempt to see if they had missed any clue about the young suicide bombers, anything which might make Yohji's mission safer or shorter. He'd begun his review of all the intelligence they had two days after he and Omi had returned to Brisbane, going through each profile with exquisite care.

He'd been forcibly struck by the incredible normality of the young men and women who had died so needlessly. They reminded him of the kind of people who had been his classmates – people who could have been him, in another time and place. Solid, obedient, hardworking students who had had utterly ordinary lives until they had graduated from various universities and academies, and then apparently gone completely off the rails. In fact, so similar were the people that he actually plotted their lives on a graph to see where the turning point could have come. Nothing appeared – but then he noticed that there was an anomaly. All of them had been good at school – none of them at the very top of their classes, but all of them doing well enough to get into good or excellent universities. But once they had got to university, over eighty percent of them had dramatically improved their performance, and over ninety percent of them were at the top or near the very top of their graduating class. When Ran pointed this out to Omi, Omi was surprised. "That's just not how it works," he'd said. "In a lot of countries, such as this one, very good students at high school rarely exactly replicate that level of success because the environment is so different. You might expect it in Japan – but not in England or Australia."

"Have we got more detail on these kids?" Ran had asked. "As in a more detailed biography for each of them?"

"No," Omi had said thoughtfully. "But I'll do what I can to get it."

And so he had. It would take a while, he'd said – the information had to come from so many different agencies, and because the kids had led such ordinary lives, they had not come to official attention until their untimely deaths. In most cases, further information would have to be obtained by personal interviews with parents and friends. However, Omi promised this would be done, however long it took.

Ran had three sets of interview notes and now wanted to use these few quiet hours to look them over. He found it moving, and not a little distressing to read them. The grief of the families was raw, coming through even over the dry language of the intelligence service reports. Their shame, their shock, was just as raw. Ran could identify with those emotions very personally. Still, he had to remain objective – their tragedies were not his, and his job was to prevent more parents suffering as they had. He made careful notes, a list of more information he needed, and a checklist of facts, names, anything that caught his eye. So absorbed was he that the alarm which told him someone had entered their building gave him quite a shock. He checked the panel and knew it had to be Ken and Louise, confirmed just a minute later by Louise's call over their intercom saying they were just unpacking and would he like them to come up or him to come down?

He said he'd been down soon and regretfully laid his notes aside. There was nothing there – not yet. But something told him he was on the right track, if he was prepared to be persistent. And at the moment, he had incentive and time. He would keep hunting until he found the answer.

He sent Schu an email saying he would probably not be on-line until later, but that he would talk to him before he went to bed. Their separation was painful, but so far not as intolerable as he'd feared, due, in part, to Omi's very strict regulation of Schuldig's situation. Schuldig, he had insisted, was to work no more than the seven hours a day, five days a week, that were his theoretical working hours. At five o'clock, the office was firmly shut, and Ken and Louise went home with Schuldig, made him eat, kept him company and helped him not to mope. Ran was in regular contact with all of them, and Schu and he 'spoke' via email, messenger or web phone every evening. He missed Schuldig as he missed Yohji but at least he knew Omi had kept his promise to ensure Schuldig was looked after.

He went downstairs to the ground floor apartment and let himself in as he'd been invited to do. Louise had said he could cook, if he wanted to, and as Ran had stocked their fridge, he had a better idea of what was there than they did. He went straight to the kitchen and a few seconds later, Ken emerged from the bedroom. "Hey, how's it going?" he asked cheerfully, heading for the fridge and pulling out two beers. "You can drink, right?"

"Yes, and thanks, I'd like one." He didn't care for beer much, but it seemed to be such an important part of Ken's male bonding ritual that he felt his dislike of the beverage didn't outweigh the benefits to his relations with his team mates. Besides, he was thirsty. "Everything okay down there?"

"It's a mad house. We've got the British scientists coming next week, two volunteers being implanted, and the Americans are insisting on coming the week after. Omi said he'd prefer to put them off but the Australians want to be co-operative with the Yanks."

"Naturally," Ran said dryly, being familiar with the somewhat awkward relationship between the Americans and the Australians over security matters. "And...?"

"Schu's doing okay, Ran. He's letting Louise mother him and she doesn't care if he gets cranky with her. She said it's no worse than the babysitting she did when she was at school."

Ran grinned at that. He looked up at his friend's wife as she walked in. "You did babysitting too?"

"Oh yeah. The pocket money was never enough for me. You don't seem the type." She poured herself a glass of white wine and sat down at the counter to watch him cook.

"I'm not. Waiting tables was easier."

"You? A waiter?"

"A damn good one," Ken interjected. "He trained Omi and Schu up for the Indonesian visit, remember that one?"

Ran gave him a pained look. "Ken, I read up on most of that before we did that mission. I was only working in a little café in Tokyo. It wasn't silver service."

"Really? Then you faked it pretty good," Ken said, admiration embarrassingly clear in his tone.

"I had to, or Schu would never have agreed to do such menial work," Ran said solemnly.

Louise laughed. "Oh, that I'd have paid money to see. Mind you, I bet he'd rather wait tables than run any more tests. Things will be easier if the next two implants go well, which they should. Wendy Sheridan is settling down nicely, better than he expected, so he's not so stressed about that. She's already talking about how she can help with these two new people. He really called it right with her." Ran nodded – that had been a major relief to him and to Schuldig.

"And then I can get mine done in a couple of weeks," Ken said, clearly watching for Ran's reaction.

Ran regarded him calmly. "It really is up to you, Ken. I just hope you don't expect a miracle."

"No, I don't, Ran. What's the worst that can happen? We know they're safe now – all that might happen is that nothing does. It's not like the concept is new to me – I've got some idea what to expect. And they can turn it off or take it out if they need to, they said."

Louise frowned, but said nothing. Ran turned to her. "If you have concerns, you should voice them, Louise. Better now than later."

"Oh, it's nothing really. I suppose I don't like the idea of people repeatedly cutting into Ken's head, and any medical procedure can go wrong."

"Hon, it's not a lot different from the procedure you're having tomorrow," Ken said gently.

She blushed, and from that Ran deduced it was to do with their fertility treatment and that was not a topic he wanted raised while he was around. Not if he was going to be able to continue to look Louise straight in the eye, anyway. There were just some things a man really just didn't need to know about and how Ken and Louise planned to make a baby was right at the top of that list.

The meal was less stressful than he'd anticipated. Ken and Louise were happy to answer any amount of questions about Schu, and respected his own wish for privacy. He and Ken spent a few minutes going over the latest information from Jensen – Yohji had been able to make contact with Li Kwan the previous week, and was making headway into building a relationship with her. Not exactly what Ran wanted to hear, but the sooner Yohji succeeded in his task, the sooner he could come home. Ken was quietly – and unusually for him, tactfully – sympathetic about how Ran felt about the issue, and at least Ran knew he was talking to someone who understood what being in love meant. In that respect, he and Ken had something in common that they had lacked before.

They were finished by nine – Louise had an early appointment the following morning, and the two of them wanted an early night anyway. Ran was happy to go back to his own apartment and make the call to Schuldig. Of course he found his lover waiting for him. "Hey, sweetheart, how did the change of keepers go?"

"They're friends, Schu, just like Omi is," Ran said firmly, trying not to be bothered by the somewhat surreal picture in front of him. The web cam's images were better than nothing, but they were still jerky and unsatisfactory – nothing like having Schu in the same room as him. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, same as always. Slept okay," Schuldig said, raising his hand to ward off Ran's next question. "And you?"

"I'm perfectly fine. Everyone's treating me like I'm made of glass. It's very annoying."

"That'll teach you to frighten people, Ran. How's the research coming?"

"Well, it's coming. I need more data. Are you sure you can't think of anything that might suddenly make good students become extraordinary?"

Schuldig frowned. "Coaching? Cram school? Hell, Liebling, you're the brain in this family. I finished any proper education before I was fifteen."

Ran knew this was a slight fudge, and he also knew his lover was as much a learning fiend as he was, but he let it slide. "And there's no paranormal activity that could do it?"

"Mine doesn't make me any smarter," Schuldig joked. "And if Omi was any brighter, they'd have to kill him."

Ran shook his head in annoyance. It was obvious Schuldig wasn't going to be much help to him over this. "Speaking of Omi, I want you to be nice to him this weekend."

"Me? I don’t do nice, Ran."

"Yes, you do, and don't be stupid. Take him out, get out of Canberra, maybe go hiking. He needs a break and Yohji's not here to bully him into taking one."

"Maybe his idea of relaxation is getting away from me, did that ever occur to you?"

"Maybe he could do with a friend he can talk to without hiding who he is, did that occur to you?"

Schuldig came a little closer to the camera. "You're really worried?"

"Yes. As a favour to me, if nothing else? You used to be friends, do you dislike his company so much?"

"No," Schuldig said with a sigh. "It's not his fault he's not you or Yohji. All right, I'll take the squirt out for a long, long walk, see if the stick falls out of his ass."

"Schu!"

Schuldig laughed. "Joke, sweetheart. Hey, do you think we could try that webcam sex thing one of these days?"

Ran flushed to the roots of his hair. "No. For one thing, Yohji would kill us if we did it when he wasn't around."

"Fair point."

"You could ... you know, go out," Ran said diffidently, but that earned him a dirty look from Schuldig. "It was just an idea. I won't blame you."

"I have all the people I want in my life, Fujimiya Ran, don't insult me like that again or I'll have to hurt you when I see you, okay?"

"Sorry, Schu." Ran was filled with an intense sense of loss, of missing his lovers so much his chest ached. "I miss you."

"And I miss you. It's not forever, sweetheart. Omi did say we could maybe try you coming down in a month or so, once all the crazy shit is a little less crazy. It's possible you might not react so badly then."

"Hope not." Privately Ran rather suspected that it would need Yohji being back before things were normal again, but if it gave Schuldig hope, he wouldn't dampen it.

"Are you going to work in your garden tomorrow?"

"I want to buy another grevillea. The one we have is dead and they bring the birds. Yohji likes them."

"Then buy two," Schuldig said with his direct, uncomplicated approach to gardening which verged close to the infamous Australian adage of 'if it moves, shoot it – if it doesn't, chop it down.'

"It's not that simple, Schu. But I was also thinking of putting a banksia rose in along that western wall."

"Roses are nice. I can spell 'rose'," Schuldig joked.

"You can spell grevillea if you try, it's just 'Greville' with an 'a' at the end," Ran said severely, and then realised he'd been had when Schuldig began to chuckle. "You can be such a pain in the ass, Schu."

"Yes, but you love me anyway, Liebling."

"Unfortunately." He looked at his watch. "I was going to do some exercises before I went to bed – are you going for a run?"

"Nah – going to bed. Tired. You go play with the weights. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Love you, Ran."

"Same here. Sleep well, Schu." He wished he could just touch him. "Be nice to Omi and I'll make it worth your while."

"Oh, I'll make you keep your word on that, my orchid."

Ran closed the connection but sat staring at the screen. What if this was their future? Could they really have a relationship without physical contact? Yohji and he.... He shook himself. There was no need to be so defeatist. A solution would be found. It had to be found, that was all there was to it.

Ken was really getting a bad feeling about this. He hadn't had this many people watching him since he played in the J-League – well, actually, more like when he'd been accused of cheating and had had to endure press hounds and camera men dogging his every move. Just like then, there was even video cameras on him – every procedure was recorded for training purposes. Behind the mirror, he knew his friends and his wife were watching. At least they hadn't seen the operation – he'd insisted Louise hadn't needed to see that, and Omi had promised to keep her away for that. But there were six scientists in the treatment room itself, quite apart from the nurse, Dr Fielding and Dr Spalding. He felt like a bug.

[Relax, KenKen,] he suddenly heard Schuldig's voice say in his head. [You get used to the attention and they don't mean you any harm. Not much, anyway.]

[Oh, thanks, Schuldig,] he sent back. [Aren’t you supposed to be keeping radio silence so you don't screw with the results?]

He 'heard' Schuldig chuckle. [If you're a telepath, I'll give you a blowjob, Ken.]

Ken couldn't resist a grin. [If you're wrong about the telekinesis, I'll give you one, Schu.] He couldn't see the reaction, but the silence that followed his statement told him that he'd taken Schuldig by surprise, and he rather hoped the others were now watching an embarrassed telepath explain why he had turned bright red.

"Okay, Ken. We're ready to start. Schu, Omi, if you wouldn't mind." Dr Fielding turned a dial and Ken felt a distinct lack of any reaction. This was confirmed by Schu and Omi bother separately reporting that they had detected nothing.

"Right. Next level."

He still felt nothing, but he heard a muffled curse over the speakers and then what sounded like a hand over the mike in the other room. "Something wrong, gentlemen?" Dr Fielding asked.

It was Omi who spoke up. "Um... well, Schu's telepathy seems to have been... dampened. And my empathy has dropped out."

"What?"

"I said our Talents seem to have dropped out."

There was an immediate hubbub of discussion between the watching scientists. "I see," Dr Fielding said carefully. "Ken, can you feel anything?"

"Not a thing. No pain, nothing." It was really disappointing. Even the area where the implant lay behind his ear was completely numb, although that was because the local hadn't worn off yet.

"Right. Ah, Omi, would you mind coming in here for a moment?"

A few seconds later, Omi came into the room and Ken smiled reassuringly at him. But Dr Fielding immediately began to twiddle with one of her monitoring devices. "It's gone – you're not registering at all."

"My brain wave pattern?" Omi asked.

"Yes. Look."

"Dr Fielding," Ken heard Schu say. "I haven't got my implant switched on. Should I try that and see if it's affected?"

"Go ahead."

A few moments' silence, then, "Nope. Still nothing."

Omi stared at Ken. "Don't you realise you've just knocked out two powerful paranormals, Ken?"

Ken stared back. "You mean... I've broken you?"

"Dr Fielding? Is it reversible?"

"Give me a second," she muttered. "Right – there."

Omi's expression changed. "And now it's back."

"Hon, are you okay?" Louise asked. Ken wished he could see her.

"I'm okay. Guess I'm so goddamn normal I can make everyone else normal." He couldn't help a little bitterness creep into his voice. It wasn't exactly what he'd been hoping for.

"Ken, I don't think you understand...." Omi started to say.

" Ken," Schuldig said over the speaker, "you wanted to be a telekinetic. How does being the single most powerful weapon in our fight against Estet suit you instead?"

"Usotsuki!" Ken burst out, lapsing into his native tongue from sheer shock.

"Honto da yo" Omi confirmed gravely. He turned to the scientists in the room. "Gentlemen, instead of trying to make all your people telepaths, you might want to consider what being able to knock out any paranormal's ability at will might mean."

"I can do that?" Ken said, feeling a little dazed.

"We're getting a little ahead of ourselves," Dr Fielding said. "I need to test the range, and whether Schu's implant can overcome the effect of yours. I'd also like to know what else this can do."

"Holy crap – I'm like the anti-Superman," Ken said in wonderment.

"You bet. We can call you Wheelboy and get you a cape," Schu said helpfully. "Ow!"

That, Ken imagined, was the result his devoted wife kicking his annoying team mate in the tact. But still, he rather liked the idea of a cape – his future kids would think it was cool.

Within a few hours, the full extent of Ken's ability was clear. He could nullify Schuldig's telepathy up to at least the range at which Schuldig could operate safely, which was nearly two kilometres – Dr Fielding suspect it might work even at the dangerous end of Schuldig's implant's range, but for obvious reasons, no one was keen to test that just yet. The three Australians who had received implants were equally affected and so was Omi. Ken thought people had got excited the day the first implant had succeeded – that was nothing compared with the reaction he'd got. The visiting scientists were orgasmic. Already they were talking about prioritising the implanting of volunteers with similar markers to his, and Dr Fielding and the others seemed to think that it would be possible, by analysing what output was coming from Ken's implant to make a machine which could neutralise paranormal brainwaves without any human needing to be involved.

Schuldig was irrepressibly gleeful. "Can we say 'level playing field', children?"

"But Estet must have discovered this effect before," Louise pointed out. "Ken's special, but surely he's not unique. I mean... you know what I mean, hon," she said with an apologetic look. Ken patted her hand – he did know what she meant.

"I'm sure they have, but they wouldn't be using it against their own people, and of course they don't know what we're doing," Omi said. "Even if they start use it, all they'll be able to do is reduce things to what Schu's said – a level playing field. Ken, you've done the world a great service today."

Ken rather felt that if he'd not been still sneakily hoping that he'd be able walk again, he'd never have pushed for it, and so didn't feel that amazing. "Omi, if this thing of mine completely dampens your unusual brain waves, does this mean Ran...?"

"Fuck!" Schuldig suddenly shouted. "I didn't think about that! Omi, we have to get him down here!"

"Wait a sec, Schu. Let me ask Dr Fielding's advice." Schuldig jumped up, clearly with the intention of finding her, but Omi pushed him back into the chair. "No, you stay there. I've seen you get worked up around lady doctors and it's not a pretty sight."

Ken looked at Louise, who seemed baffled as he was by this comment. Omi was gone just a minute and returned with the doctor. "The answer," Dr Fielding said, "is that it's worth a try." Schuldig whooped and pulled out his mobile. "Not in the clinic, Schu, you know better than that. We need to do this in a controlled fashion. If you get him down here for tomorrow morning, that's soon enough."

"He could catch the four o'clock...."

Omi held his hand up. "Schu, one night is not going to kill either of you. I think you don't want to pin too much hope on this working, right, Dr Fielding?"

"Well, since you never let me test what was really going on, I can't possibly comment, can I?" she said with what Ken thought was forgivable bitchiness. Schuldig looked ready to explode. "But if I had to put money on it, I would say it's not a long shot. Before we test it, Ran needs to be informed of the risks. I'm not allowing him to go through all that again without his consent."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Schuldig swore, standing up, his chair screeching backwards. "As if I'd hurt him." He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Dr Fielding turned to Omi with an apologetic expression. "I didn't mean...."

Omi shook his head. "He's under a lot of stress. Please, set this up, doctor. I know you're busy but this is very important to our team, and I would like Ran to be able to work with Schu again."

"I'll rearrange things...." She started to leave.

"Doctor, one more thing – I don't think our visitors should be involved in this. I'd like this to be kept very much a Weiss matter."

Omi was perfectly polite and calm, but his voice made it clear that he expected no argument – Ken remembered that he'd threatened to withdraw cooperation before, and no doubt Dr Fielding was remembering that as well. "Very well. You're not doing any of them any favours by concealing this, in my opinion."

"I note your reservations, and thank you," Omi said politely.

They waited for her to leave. "I can really help Ran?" Ken said. "That's great!"

"Yes, it is. This has been a very important day. History may not record your name, but your kids will be grateful for what you've done."

Louise looked away. "Hon, is there something wrong?" Ken asked concerned at her apparent discomfiture.

"Um...well, I was going to tell you later. I did the test just after lunch... and the stick turned blue."

Omi looked at them both, puzzled. "The... stick?"

"You mean... Lou, you're pregnant?" Ken stared at her, quite unable to take it in. "Are you sure?"

"I was going to test it again tomorrow just to make sure, but those things are pretty accurate, I was told."

"You're having our baby?" Ken shouted with joy and flung his arms around his wife. "Gods, I love you – we're having a baby!" he babbled.

They clung to each other for a minute or two. Ken felt tears of joy running down his face, and Louise was crying too. He felt almost dizzy with all the things that had happened today.

When he finally sat up, blinking, Omi was watching them with a careful smile. "Congratulations," he said.

"Oh, Omi... um, maybe we shouldn't say anything until Lou's absolutely sure."

"Things can still go wrong," she said, wiping her eyes. "Especially since it's not completely natural."

"I won't say a word," Omi said. "But you might ask Schu not to say anything to Ran, since I doubt he will be able to avoid picking it up from you. Not, unless of course, you have your implant working," he added with a smile.

"Oh, we can tell Ran," Ken said. "I just meant, you know, everyone else. Family's different."

Omi nodded in acknowledgement. "Louise, please let me know if you need to adjust your schedule for appointments or for any other reason. This is the first Weiss baby, I want everything to be perfect."

"I just want Yohji home before it's born," Louise said, her arm still around Ken. "He promised to be first uncle."

"He'd be good at that. Well, I better go find Schuldig and make him not kill anyone too permanently. Ken, it's been a long day for you – why don't you two go home? I'll find him and bring him back. I might have to get him drunk tonight or he'll be on the ceiling."

"No booze for me," Louise said. "I'm on the wagon now until he or she's born." She poked Ken. "And so are you."

"Me?" Ken squawked, outraged. "Why me?"

Omi stood up. "Because misery loves company," he said with a grin. "Well done, you two. Go home and relax. You've more than earned it." He left the room.

Ken turned to his wife and she bent over and kissed him. "Are you happy?"

"No. I'm too amazed to be happy. I'll be happy when the shock wears off. But I love you to bits, woman. You've made my life more wonderful than I ever dreamed."

She ruffled his hair carefully, mindful of the bandage. "Considering how many nightmares you have, Ken, I'll take that as more of a compliment than it sounds!"

Ran was trying very hard not to let his imagination get the better of him. When Omi had called the night before and told him to catch the 5.10 am flight from Brisbane if he could, the 8.30 one if he couldn't manage it, his leader had refused to explain over the phone, saying only that it was very important and naturally urgent. He hadn't even got a clue from Schuldig, since Omi said he was taking Schuldig out and for Ran not to wait up for a call. It had meant he hadn't slept very well, turning over the possibilities in his mind of what could have happened. It was unlikely to be something to do with Yohji – Jensen's midnight check in had said all was proceeding well in Singapore. It had to be something to do with Schuldig, but Ran couldn't think what could be so classified that Omi couldn't use their secure lines to discuss it.

He'd had no problem making the early flight, having been awake for hours before he needed to leave, but as a consequence he had a nagging headache and his stomach was unsettled. He would, he promised himself, be very cross if this turned out to be either someone's idea of a prank or not justifying the urgency. But Omi wasn't prone to running his team mates hither and thither without warning.

Would he see Schuldig today? He hoped so. It was otherwise a well-timed visit – he wanted to discuss some of the new intelligence with Omi and get his opinion on certain matters. And of course, it would be nice to see Ken and Louise again. He'd been alone for the last ten days, and was ready for a dose of companionship. He doubted he would be staying in Canberra for very long. The logistics of keeping him and Schuldig separated while working within the same organisation were too tiresome to contemplate.

The flight was delayed which did nothing to allay his nerves, and by the time he was in the arrivals hall, he was in a snappish mood. Omi was there. "Ah, Ran, thank you for coming down so early."

"It'd better be worth the effort, Omi. What's going on?"

"I can't say here. Would you like some tea or coffee before we head in?"

"No, I would just like to do what you have brought me down to do, and then I need to talk to you about certain matters."

Omi looked at him over his sunglasses in a gesture that reminded Ran of Yohji, and which only made him crankier. "Then let's leave it until we get in."

They walked in silence to the car, but once Omi was behind the wheel and they started off, he spoke. "I've been authorised to tell you that Weiss is shortly to have a new member."

"Someone else?" Ran snapped angrily. What crazy idea was this? "Who the hell do we want on our team other than the people we have? Not some wet behind the ears novice, I hope."

"Oh, I think he – or she – may be quite wet behind the ears at first."

Omi glanced at him, and through the haze of his irritation, Ran realised that Omi was actually in a really good mood, and that this news was part of it. "Wet... just how 'new' is new?"

"Um, well, they're still in production and we don't get delivery for nine months."

The gears connected. "Louise is pregnant? Really?"

"Apparently," Omi said with a grin. "Found out yesterday. Isn't that great news?"

"It's wonderful. It's just...." Ran was lost for words. He'd never really believed it would happen. Much as he longed for his own children, he knew it was unlikely given his lifestyle, and he'd resigned himself to being the eternal babysitter for other people's children. But even knowing Ken and Louise had been trying for one, it was still unexpected. "I can't think of people who deserve such happiness more than they do."

"No. It will cause a few administrative difficulties, but this is what I wanted for Ken for so long ... Yohji will be thrilled when he finds out."

Oh, yes, Yohji would. But the gods only knew when that would be. "Well, this really is wonderful, Omi, but that's not why you brought me down, I suppose."

"No. But perhaps in its own way, the reason might be as wonderful to you as their news is." And then the infuriating man refused to say any more, being utterly immune to Ran's best glares.

Rather to his surprise, Ken was at the clinic, despite the early hour. Ran knew he was due to be implanted some time this week, although he hadn't had the date confirmed. But Ken was sporting a bandage behind his ear – "Ken, have you had the chip put in?"

"Yes, I have." Ken was grinning from ear to ear. Ah, well, only to be expected.

"Omi told me the news. You have my congratulations – not for that, but for... you know." Ran bowed. "I hope things go well."

"Thanks, Ran. Omi, Dr Fielding is all set up. Want to go in?"

They seemed to expect that Ran himself was to be involved in what the doctor was planning as Omi insisted on Ran going in first, but no one was in any hurry to explain. He found his temper rising again, but he bit his tongue and greeted Dr Fielding politely. "Oh, hello, Ran. How have you been feeling?"

"Perfectly fine," he answered through gritted teeth. "Would someone care to explain to me what is going on?"

"Oh, sorry, Ran," Omi said cheerfully. "I wanted to wait until Doctor Fielding was here. As you can see, Ken had his implant yesterday, and it turns out that he's really rather special. As Schu predicted, his telekinesis was not enhanced. But it seems that in other ways, he's possibly the most powerful paranormal we have."

Ran stared at Ken, who grinned back. "So what can you do?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. In fact, no one else can do anything either."

"Omi," Ran growled, turning back to his leader. "Explain this in simple terms."

"Well, Ken just said it. He can stop anyone else doing anything – with their powers, he should have said. He's a walking null field. He completely obliterates paranormal brain waves. I can't feel you at the moment. Schu can't read your mind when you're next to him. We're just completely, utterly normal."

"Yep, I'm the ultimate sabotage," Ken said, still grinning.

"Good grief," Ran said, truly staggered. The implications were enormous – no wonder they were looking so pleased with themselves. "But I don't understand what that has to do with me."

Dr Fielding cleared her throat. "It's a bit of a gamble, Ran. But Schu thought, and I agreed, that if his brain waves were triggering that reaction in you...."

"If they're blocked, then he won't?" Hope began to bubble through him. "Are you saying you've solved this?" he said to Omi.

"We'll know soon enough. Dr Fielding has to explain some things to you, then she'll hook you up to the monitor. Louise is with Schu now...."

"Sitting on him," Ken corrected.

"Yes, sitting on him – he's rather excited, Ran – and as soon as we give her the signal, Schu will come over."

"You understand there's a risk of you having another fit, Ran. And you and Schu will have to stay with Ken under observation all day, and if this does work, you will still have to meet only when he's around."

"I don't care," Ran said. "Please, let's begin."

"You understand...?"

"I understand perfectly. Just do it," he ordered. "Where do I sit? What do I do?"

Omi took a seat against the wall, as Ran impatiently endured being hooked up to the EEG machine and being asked a series of questions. But finally, Dr Fielding went to the landline phone, and made a call. "Okay – five minutes. Ran, if you experience anything unusual, smell something out of place, or your vision alters in any way, I want you to speak up. Omi, would you please man the phone and be ready to call Louise if there's a problem?"

Omi went over to the phone and sat by it. Ken tapped his fingers impatiently. Ran forced himself to be calm, but it was a losing battle with his nerves.

What seemed like an hour later, but was probably just a few minutes, Ran heard two sets of footsteps and then the door opened. Schuldig stood there, his expression uncertain. "Well?" he asked, staring at Ran.

Dr Fielding looked at the monitors, checked everything. "Nothing. No spike, nothing other than someone being glad to see you. I think it's worked."

Schuldig yelled and walked quickly over to Ran, kneeling down and wrapping his arms around him painfully tight. "Oh my God. Ran, I missed you," he said against Ran's shirt. "I can't believe it."

Ran kissed his hair and patted his back. "Me neither. I didn't know anything about this until ten minutes ago." It felt so incredibly good to have Schuldig's arms around him, to feel the warm of his body. He felt like he might cry, and hid his face in Schuldig's hair in case he shamed himself. He couldn't believe how much he'd missed the smell of Schuldig's shampoo.

No one disturbed them for a minute or two, but then Dr Fielding asked him to sit up so he could be detached from the EEG machine. Now he could stand, Schuldig still clinging to him, and look at Ken. "Thank you," he said. Words were inadequate to express the depth of his gratitude.

Schuldig thought so too. He let Ran go and went over to Ken. "I may not owe you that blowjob but I'm definitely gonna kiss you again, KenKen!" And so he did, much to Ken's embarrassment and everyone's general amusement.

"Blowjob?" Louise asked, laughing.

"Best not to enquire. But with your permission...," Ran said. It was a day for grand gestures, he felt, as he bent low and bestowed a chaste kiss on Ken's cheek. "I can't tell you how much I owe you for this."

Ken flushed. "It wasn't like I had to do anything, Ran. But you're welcome – I'm just glad to help."

Ran straightened and found himself being hugged by Louise who brushed his cheek with her lips. "I'm so glad for you, Ran," she said. "We all really wanted this to work."

He took her hand and bowed low to kiss it. "Congratulations. Your news brings all of us great joy."

"Yes, it does," Omi said. "Ran, you three will have to stay together today here, so Louise and I will just move the work we're doing here to keep you company. I think we should at least have a pot of tea in celebration, but then you can talk to me about the matters you wanted to raise."

"Bugger the tea, I want champagne," Schuldig murmured into Ran's ear, putting his arm around his waist. "But I already feel high as a kite."

"I know the feeling," Ran said quietly. "But tea is good too. If only Yohji were here, this would be a perfect day."

"He'll be back soon," Ken said. "He promised to be there for the birth of our first kid, and damn it, he's got to be."

"I hope he's back long before that," Omi said seriously. "Come on, everyone, let's find that tea."

It was the most pleasant evening Ran had experienced in months, marred only by Yohji's absence which he felt keenly. Yet, for Yohji's sake, he was determined to enjoy it so that he could tell Yohji about it, and so that Yohji's sacrifice would not be more bitter to them all than it needed to be. It was definitely a night for celebration, and there was a slight end of school feel to it, even though they all had to go back to work the following Monday. Ken and Louise were relentless in teasing Schuldig about the fact he'd been so opposed to Ken being chipped in the first place. Schuldig lay against Ran, sipping the champagne that Omi had insisted on buying, and idly trying to incite Ran into defending his good name. Ran refused to get involved.

"Sensible man," Omi muttered, grinning at him and drinking from his own glass. Louise and Ken were stuck on non-alcoholic wine. Ken had been allowed a half-glass to drink to his future offspring, and Louise had had a sip, no more, of his champagne, but then they'd both switched to the non-alcoholic stuff. When Ran had discreetly asked why Ken wasn't drinking, Omi had giggled and said something about Louise making sure Ken knew what he was getting her into.

Omi was pretty tiddly already, even on a fairly small amount of wine, and Ran wondered how much of it was pure relief from weeks – months – of stress. Schuldig kept smiling at them all. He was boneless and mellow and unwilling to let Ran out of his sight for even a second, which was going to become either irritating or amusing when Ran finally had to relieve his bladder. Ken and Louise were cuddling, Ken, unusually, seated on the smaller sofa, wedged into the corner. Omi was the only one all alone on the armchair, and Ran wished he had Yohji's ease with Omi, that he could invite him to join him and Schuldig on the long couch. The kid looked like he needed a hug – that would be what Yohji would say, Ran was sure. But he wasn't sure how Schuldig would react, so he refrained.

"So basically, if we want to have sex, Ken has to be there too," Schuldig said with an evil grin. "We need Ken's nulla nulla if we want to ficky fick."

Ken threw a cushion at him, and Omi groaned. Ever since Schuldig had come out with the pun on the name of an Aboriginal weapon, they'd all become sick of the term. "Come up with a new joke, or I won't be ficking you," Ran said, sipping his champagne calmly and ignoring the pouty look from his lover.

"But I want to put Ken in a lovely purple catsuit and call him Nullaboy. Just Nullaboy. You know – Nullaboy Plain."

Louise groaned this time. "God, that's awful, Schu. You speak how many languages and that's the best you can come up with?"

Schuldig nudged Ran. "She's picking on me."

"Good, you deserve it. Ken, I strongly advise you don't let him help you choose the name for your child."

Ken coughed. "Not after what he did with his passport, no."

Ran looked down to see if this triggered any of Schuldig's anger about his missing documents, but Schuldig was smiling benignly at Ken. "I could give you names from all around the world to choose from, if you want."

"Yeah, and then we'd worry for the rest of our lives that you'd called our son or daughter a swear word in Nepalese. No thanks," Louise said firmly.

"I'm wounded you don't trust me."

"If I let you name our kids and I found out you gave them the equivalent of 'baka', you'd find out what wounded means," Louise said with a grin.

Schuldig whimpered and clutched at Ran. "Don't let the bad lady hurt me, Ran."

"If you don’t shut up, I'll hold you down so she can shoot you full of arrows. I'm glad you've learned how to handle him, Louise. It makes my job so much easier."

She lifted her fizzy fruit juice. "Figure you could use a hand with him while Yohji's gone." The room fell silent. "Sorry, Ran," she said quietly.

Schuldig sat up and put his arm around Ran's shoulder, kissing him on the cheek. "It's okay, Schatzi. It's not like we don't know he's gone."

"I'm not offended, Louise," Ran confirmed. "I can't wait to tell him about your baby. You realise you'll probably have to fight to even see your child once he's back."

Omi smiled. "It was a bit of a surprise to me how much Yohji was looking forward to there being children around. I think if he could swing it, he'd adopt a child himself."

"Good God," Schuldig muttered. "Save us from nappy fever."

"You don't think we'd make good parents, Schu?" Ran asked disingenuously.

"You and Yohji, maybe. Me? Never. I can't handle people I can't talk to and I have an allergy to baby powder."

"I thought a little talcum was always walcum," Ken said with a grin.

Omi giggled, and now Schuldig groaned. "I don't know what's scarier, Ken – that you've read any Ogden Nash at all or that you got your lady wife pregnant just so you could use that line." Schuldig nuzzled against Ran's face. "I'm so drunk, Liebling."

"I think that was a hint," Louise said. "I think he wants you to take him to bed."

"Make sure you use a condom, Schu," Ken said. "If you don't want kids, I mean." Omi spat champagne all over himself.

"Oh, and what makes you think it's Ran who needs to worry about getting preggers, KenKen?"

Ran slapped his lover's wandering hand. "Enough. There's no need to be vulgar, and I'm sure no one wants to know who is doing what to whom."

"It's not like it's a big secret when you guys are down here," Ken muttered, and Ran flushed.

"Well, you better get the ear plugs out, Nullman, because I haven't seen my little orchid for over a month and I need my man loving," Schuldig crooned.

Ran grabbed his ear and tweaked it hard. "Do you want to sleep in the back yard?" he asked with saccharine sweetness. "Alone?"

"No, Liebling," Schuldig said meekly.

"Then stop telling them about your sex life while you still have one to talk about."

"Yes, Liebling."

Ran got up, and took Schuldig's hand. "I'll make sure we don't disturb you. Sleep well." He turned to Omi. "You must feel odd – without the empathy."

"I'm enjoying the break," Omi said sincerely. "Schu, I'm going to get that chip as soon as they've got it perfected. "

Schuldig shook his head. "Just stick with KenKen. Now no one has to be a paranormal any more."

"And you think that's a good thing?" Ran asked. Schuldig was obviously nowhere near as drunk as he was claiming to be.

"Once I wouldn't have thought so. Now? I couldn't give a damn. Who needs telepathy when you have lurrrrve?" He drawled the last word out until it sounded positively obscene.

Ran shook his head in disgust as the others giggled at his lover's idiocy. "Come on. I do wonder why I bother sometimes."

Schuldig caught him around the waist and spun him around. "Because you luuuurve me, Ran. And I luurve you." He gave Ran a long, sultry kiss which left Ran feeling a little breathless and pink-faced.

"That would have to be the reason, I suppose." Schuldig grinned, presumably at getting him to admit it in public.

"Can't think of another one that would make anyone put up with you," Ken said. "Take him away, Ran. I've had as much silly German telepath as I can handle for one day."

Schuldig stuck his tongue out at Ken but Ran hustled him out of the room. "Behave," he said firmly as he shut the bedroom door behind him. "You've had no more wine than I've had."

"I'm drunk on you, sweetheart. Oh God, it's so good to touch you," Schuldig said, running his hands down Ran's sides. "I thought I was going to go mad if I didn't see you soon. Between you and Yohji being gone, I didn't know what to do."

Ran let Schuldig draw him close and rested his head on his taller lover's shoulder. "You seemed to be doing pretty well. I was relieved."

"They helped. Ken and Louise were really very good to me and I owe them a lot. Omi too," Schuldig admitted. "But I missed you. I never missed anyone like I missed you and Yohji. It was like...."

Schuldig fell silent. Ran looked up at him, and was alarmed to see Schuldig's eyes glistening in the low light. "Schu? What's wrong?"

"It was like when Nagi and the others died. I didn't know how to deal with it, Ran. I thought I would never see you again."

"We would have found a way," Ran murmured, drawing his head down so he could kiss Schuldig long and carefully, noting that he was trembling. "It's okay. We've got through this, and all we have to do is hold on until Yohji comes home." He led Schuldig to the bed and made him lie down, so Ran could lie on top of him, kissing him gently, and brushing his hair off his face. Schuldig was letting it grow long at last, and it seemed to have got much longer in the few weeks they'd been apart. It was fine and tended to drift around, not like his own which was heavier, although still fine and rather messy. "And you would have gone on with their help. You mustn't give up if anything happens to us, Schu. Yohji wouldn't want it, I certainly don't. All of us have a duty to the others to go on. I don't want your suicide as my memorial. Remember that Crawford wanted you to live. So do we."

Schuldig closed his eyes. "Just to be ASIO's lab rat?"

"No, to live a long, happy life and to make sure the people who are important to all of us live one too. There's another generation coming, Schuldig. A future. Maybe we don't have kids ourselves, but Ken and Louise's children will be ours to watch over."

"Do you want kids, Ran? I hadn't realised that Yohji did." Schuldig's eyes were still closed, but he began to stroke Ran's back slowly in the way Ran most loved. He snuggled up closer to get the most out of the caress.

"If I did, I realised a long time ago it would never happen. So did Yohji. We didn't expect to be alive by now, Schu. Persia thought we would be killed by now. That's what Omi is trying to subvert. He wants to wreck his father's plans completely." Ran caught Schuldig's chin. "Which is why it's unfair to keep flinging the Takatori name at him. He's nothing like them."

"He is – but he's transcended them. He's ruthless and pragmatic, but his soul is pure." Schuldig smiled. "It's okay, Ran. You can stop defending him. I think I understand why he's done some of the things he did."

"I'm glad, Schu." He began to undo Schuldig's shirt so he could kiss the fine skin of his stomach, and enjoy the warm taste of him. "Mmmm, which one of us is getting pregnant again?"

Schuldig laughed, which made his stomach ripple under Ran's lips. "Oh, I think both of us might be. But we better keep the noise down if we're going to look Louise in the eye tomorrow."

Ran slid up Schuldig's body. "I think a certain German in this room made sure I'll never be able to do that again. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that you're good fun to tease, sweetheart, and that your friends are happy for us. Now, I think I've got some catching up to do in the kissing department...."

Chapter Text

Looking at the piece of paper in his hand, Ran was strongly tempted to duck out into the mall to the photo developer to have it laminated and framed for Yohji's amusement when he got home. There was probably no single item which epitomised the state of his team more completely than the scrawled and decorated mess that could be called a shopping list by a generous person, and proof positive of insanity by anyone else. He was practiced at reading Ken's scrawl by now, so the few items at the top of the list that had not been obliterated with the words 'this will make me PUKE' underlined in red three times, were actually legible. Omi's handwriting was nearly as tidy as Ran's own, but the goods listed were esoteric and several had also come under Louise' red pen of wrath with 'don't bring this into the house or you change the nappies for three months' written in unfriendly letters down the margin beside them. Schuldig had added a few things, none of which had raised Louise's ire, but Ran had to grin at the little cartoon of a man in a wheelchair speeding away on burning tires, being pursued by a bosomy, axe-bearing woman easily recognised as Ken's loving – but presently morning-sickness-suffering – wife.

Yohji would find it ironic, albeit pleasing, that his absence had finally caused the team to really pull together after three very trying months. It helped them all that Schuldig was coping better – the stress on him now being kept under strict control by Omi and by Louise, and it was insisted upon that he spend his weekends with Ran, and not working. That meant that Ken and Louise also restricted their office hours, and Omi was gradually following suit. Because Ken had to be with Ran and Schuldig, that meant Louise was with them, and so Omi tended to accompany them as well. In fact, Weiss were spending more time together than at any time during the previous year, and Omi was now actually taking time off on some weekends. Yes, Yohji would love the shopping list which showed how their lives had intertwined, and even if Ran didn't laminate it, he would preserve it carefully for Yohji's return.

He looked at his watch – three o'clock. In theory, he was still on duty, but in reality, his work for the week was over, other than his monitoring of Jensen's check ins and reports which were a nightly activity and took up very little time. He'd gone to the supermarket so he could beat the after work rush and take his time choosing produce and meat not just for the evening, but for the barbecue Ken was holding for some friends the following afternoon. The meals he planned had to take into account Louise's morning sickness, and he needed to purchase some light snacks and crackers which was what she'd insisted were all she needed to cope. The entire team was becoming expert on the possible pitfalls of pregnancy. Despite her assertion that she was perfectly fine and that morning sickness was quite normal and would pass, Omi continued to assiduously search for information on the condition on the internet. It was this that was leading to his earnest, almost daily suggestions that she should try this or that remedy or supplement, most of which she rejected out of hand on the grounds that they sounded revolting and looked worse. Ken joked that Omi was going to be suffering the sympathetic labour pains, not him. Even Schuldig had become involved, offering to teach her some meditation techniques which would help her not only with that, but with the actual labour pains when that time came. Ran tried to keep off the entire subject when he was around and only offer the help that was requested by the lady herself, but he found the attitude of his friends a source of much quiet amusement.

If only things were as satisfactory on the professional front as they were on the domestic. He himself still felt he was in a kind of a phony war – unable to go into the field since so many of his team – and their support – were unavailable, unable to be fully involved in the work Omi and Schuldig were doing in Canberra. Although Ken's surprising abilities meant he could spend time with Schuldig, he was being used to help in the development of the null machines, and when Schuldig was working, he and Ran had to be kept separated. In reality, it meant that Ran spent his weeks in Brisbane, either coming to Canberra or Schu and the others coming to Brisbane for weekends. He was in Canberra slightly earlier than usual this Friday to give Omi his report and the latest intelligence from Yohji, but for all practical purposes, he was barred from going any closer to the Canberra offices than the house.

Still, it was tolerable, and so he tolerated it. Things would improve when Yohji returned, he knew – not only would he then be able to live normally with his lovers, he and Yohji would be able to go on missions once more, and Jensen's team would be back and they could recommence the training of new operatives that was now in abeyance. Ran had asked Omi if he could not work on this in Jensen's absence, but Omi had regretfully told him that the Army just didn't want to have a non-Army person in charge.

At least it looked likely that Schuldig was close to being released from purdah. The discovery of a viable null field had immediately reduced the significance of his telepathy to other agencies, something which simultaneously pleased and irked him. In fact, there were two flavours of research going on – one team were urgently trying to develop a null field generator, the other were proceeding with the implants as fast as they could get volunteers to accept them. Already there were twenty Australians implanted, and rather to Schuldig's annoyance, he had been sidelined very quickly in their training. Although Ran pointed out that this was good for him, it still bothered the German that he was still so distrusted that his superior expertise was considered tainted and less reliable than Wendy Sheridan's much less experienced but undoubtedly 'pure' advice to the novices.

It was something he and Ran talked about a lot, sometimes on their own, sometimes with the rest of the team. Ran was most concerned that if Schuldig's Talent was considered nothing special, then there was nothing to prevent those who feared him and what he had been from just locking him up and throwing away the key. Omi acknowledged there was a risk of this, but at the same time, the risk Schuldig posed also decreased with every new artificial paranormal, and he still held enormous value for the Australians. "Besides," Omi had pointed out, "Australians rather like reformed bad boys."

Louise had grinned at Ran. "Not just Australians," she'd said, looking pointedly at where Ran's hand was sitting in Schuldig's lap.

So things were both more stable and bearable, and also more frustrating as the time when they would be freed of their restraints grew closer. Omi had placed no time limit on Yohji's mission, but the general consensus was that it would not be worth him being undercover for more than six months. If he hadn't obtained enough information by then to make it worth pulling him out, then it was unlikely he would do so.

He'd been gone nearly three months. Ran was good at waiting. But some days seemed very long.

His mobile rang as he was unpacking the groceries. "Ran? I know it's late, but could you come to the office? There's been a development."

"It's not...?" His throat closed – surely not Yohji?

"No, not that. But it's important. See you in twenty?"

"Fifteen."

He threw the cold things into the fridge and left the dry goods on the counter. Omi had worried him by the tone in his voice, not something his young leader did very often. It was always worth paying attention to.

He drove quickly down to the office and used Omi's reserved parking space to save time. He beat his own deadline by a minute, and found Omi and Ken waiting for him in the office. Omi asked him to close the door. "What's happened?"

"We think we know where Epitaph is – they've made the connection between a reference to it and to Martin Paré. It's in London."

Ran nodded. They'd known for some time that Epitaph wasn't a who but a what – a super computer. This had dovetailed with Ran's findings that the crop of well-educated terrorists were linked by a single common factor – a popular computer-based teaching technique called the Sivasothy method. It claimed to improve memory and achievement across disciplines, but was particularly popular among language and mathematics scholars. It had been taken up across the globe, from everything from primary schools to universities, but despite its mainstream acceptance, several companies promoting had been criticised for exaggerating the success rate of their students. This seemed to be the only blight on the method's reputation. Nonetheless, struggling to find any other commonality between their terrorists, over a month ago, Omi had suggested to their overseas colleagues that it would be worth examining the teaching materials, and investigating the large college campuses which had been established in ten countries, including Britain and America. It was a tenuous lead, strengthened only by the certain placement of Estet personnel, identified by Yohji's undercover work, in the British company which sold Sivasothy educational material and courses in Europe. Ran was uneasily aware that Omi had probably been swayed by Ran's saying his instincts told him that this was a fruitful lead than the evidence itself, and could only hope he was right.

"Do we know where exactly?"

"No, but that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You know the British put some people undercover at the two colleges in the UK? The one in Surrey and the one in Liverpool?"

"Yes. Did they find something?" Why was Omi being so solemn, he wondered.

"No, and as they'd been there a month without any success, they pulled out last week."

"They just gave up?" Ran frowned. "But if there is a connection," he said slowly, "Epitaph could be at the college. Don't they care about that?""

"That may make a difference, but you know the British were always more sceptical about the possibility of a connection with the Sivasothy method than any other group, and I have to say that this may not convince them. There's something else. I've just had a confidential memo from Jeffrey Walker – you recall you met him last year?"

"Walker... ah, he called himself Grant. Yes, I remember him. What did he say?"

"He let me know that one of the reasons MI6 pulled out was that they had some bad luck with this mission. Two of their undercover agents have died – one in an car accident, and the other killed themselves. It was something of a set back."

"That's unfortunate." Not to mention a hell of a coincidence, he thought. "But how is this significant?"

Omi steepled his hands. "Call it my instincts, but I want your view. Both agents had been placed at the Surrey college. The one who killed herself was Alexandra Thompson."

Ran hissed in a breath. "Alex? Are you sure?" He could hardly imagine a person less likely to kill herself. "How? Was there any note?"

"Service pistol, a note saying that she was stressed and worried about things, said she just couldn't handle the pressure any more, and absolutely no doubt that there was no one else involved. I take it that you're surprised."

"I'm...yes, very surprised. It's a terrible waste of a good agent, and sad of course. But I don't understand why you've called me in, Omi. This is important, but not urgent. Or is it?"

Omi waved him down to a chair. "Ran, what would you say to going undercover in London again?"

Ran's heart leapt with the instinctive adrenaline rush. "Yes."

Ken raised his eyebrows. "Just like that?"

Ran turned to him. "What do you expect me to say? Someone needs to find Epitaph, the sooner we do that, Yohji comes home and," he added, looking at Omi, "I'm bloody sick of paperwork. But am I the person for this? Is there no one locally?"

"Walker says MI6 just aren't going to follow it up, even though he wants to pursue it. He's asked me strictly informally if Weiss could help. He thinks, as do I, that you were right to suspect the colleges, and since we know Epitaph is in London, we think we need to try."

That made sense to Ran. "No one is coming with me?"

Omi shook his head. "Ideally Schu would go, but with the problem you two have, that's not possible. And I can't. But I won't send you without back up if you think you need it."

"May I think about it? Read the British reports, talk to Schu?"

"Of course. That's why I wanted to broach it with you today so you would have this weekend to decide. Ran, if you say no, I won't hold it against you. There are other tacks we can take. But my feeling is that you could succeed simply because you don't have the blinkers that MI6 have about this."

"Possibly. Let me look at the notes here, and I'll talk to Schu this evening."

Omi stood. "Thank you. Please don't feel pressured, Ran. It is entirely voluntary." His mouth twisted. "I'm done with forcing my people to do things they don't want to."

"It's my job, Omi. What I want to do, what I've trained to do. And anything that gets Yohji home sooner will be good for all of us."

"Amen," Ken said with feeling.

Omi nodded. "All right. Look over my briefing notes and then we can talk."

Ken spoke up. "Ran, I'll take Schu home with us and let him know you'll be back later."

"And I'll cook," Omi said, but Ken shook his head.

"Uh uh, Omittchi, Louise will fry my balls in olive oil if I let you do that. She still hasn't forgiven you for the seaweed."

Omi looked abashed while Ran half-smiled. "I'll cook. It won't take me long to read this. Thank you for offering me this opportunity, Omi."

"You are many things, Ran, but a paper pusher isn't one of them," Omi said with a grin. "Besides, it never hurts to remind MI6 that Weiss are an effective unit."

"Somehow I doubt they would be able to forget that. Schu was rather... um...."

"Persuasive?" Omi asked.

"Irritating, I was going to say," Ran corrected.

"Yeah, I bet. Like chilli sauce in your eyes," Ken added dryly.

"Very much," Ran agreed, unable to contain a smile at the apt analogy.

Omi spoke a little more to him about the various considerations regarding the mission, and then they left him in peace to read. There wasn't much, and very little detail about Alex's death. There were no signs of forced entry to her flat, no other fingerprints, and the bullet wound was consistent with a self-inflicted injury. Ran was a little surprised that they hadn't considered that there were ways someone could be forced to shoot themselves, but then they hadn't had the exposure to a malicious telepath that he'd had. Even if he was now sleeping with said malicious telepath. Still, Walker didn't seem to be convinced by the obvious story, so at least someone was thinking outside the box.

He noted one thing in Alex's notes – the campus was mostly home to adult students, teachers wanting their ESOL certificates, high school or university graduates wanting to improve their English or learn other languages, or to brush up their learning, computing or maths skills before starting their new course. It also ran cram courses before the exam season but Alex had noted it was too early in the year for her to observe those. The campuses were like flagships for the company, although most of its marketing was aimed at self-directed learning at home. However, there was an arrangement with the nearby university for their foreign students to receive intensive language and learning assistance prior to and even during their courses. Alex had reported that there had been two student deaths in the halls there in the previous year, and that there had also been some disturbances at night to the point where a curfew had been imposed. This had all occurred some time before she'd undertaken her mission, and Ran wondered what had drawn her attention particularly. There was nothing in the material he had.

He couldn't help but feel Omi was right on this one, but it was frustrating to still have nothing firm to work on. But dealing with Estet was always like this – instincts, hunches, hints – rarely did they have anything open and concrete to use. The basis of Yohji's mission was one of the most solid he'd seen since they'd come to the Australia, but it was still rather vague.

He closed the notes and thought about it all. He would like to have Omi or Schu at his side, but there was no doubt that he would attract less attention on his own, posing as one of the many foreign visitors to London, using a short course to improve his employability while travelling. The other factor was Schu himself, but on that score, Ran was less anxious than he would have been two months ago. It also meant that should Yohji return before Ran did, Schu would be there to help him readjust to life as he regained his memory.

He would have to leave it to Schuldig, he decided. For his own sake, he had already decided to go as soon as he heard what the mission was. But Schuldig depended on him, and he on Schuldig. He couldn't just go without asking him. If it meant waiting for Yohji's return, then that's what might need to happen.

He said nothing to Schuldig as he made dinner or as they ate. Schuldig was in a good mood, teasing Louise who was also cheerful. She'd said some time ago her morning sickness – which, despite the name, could last all day – was definitely made worse by stress. As she was relaxed now, sitting with Ken on the sofa as they drank their tea, it wasn't surprising that she felt okay. Omi kept his counsel about the mission and let Ran dictate how he would break the news to his lover.

Ran waited until Omi was loading the dishes in the dishwasher before inviting Schuldig out onto the back verandah to have another glass of wine with him. They settled on the old sofa, a favourite spot during the heat of summer. Tonight was no exception, the whine of the mosquitoes and the constants 'szzzts' of their death dives into the bug zapper the only serenade as they looked out onto the dark garden. "What's bothering you, Ran?" Schuldig asked, putting his arm around him. "You've been quieter than usual."

Ran set his glass down. "Omi gave me some news today which I find rather depressing. Alexandra Thompson died. Suicide, they said."

Schuldig stared at him. "Alex? Dead? Good God. Do they know why?"

"The note said stress. Her boss isn't convinced."

Ran told Schuldig all that he'd learned, and Schuldig nodded grimly. "I think you're right to be suspicious, although it could be exactly what it seems to be. I'm sorry to hear about it, though. She needed a boot up the arse from time to time, but she wasn't a bad kid."

"No, she wasn't. Schu, Omi has asked me to go to London to investigate the Surrey college. I wanted to know how you felt about the possibility."

Schuldig looked at him, then bent down and picked up his own glass, took a long sip from it and seemed to be thinking. Ran waited for his lover to process the information and drank a little of his own wine. Life was very easy in this country, he thought wistfully, and then wondered why he was thinking as if he would have to give it up. This was his home now. He had that, at least.

At last Schuldig spoke. "No one is going with you?"

"No. No one from Weiss. Omi is giving me a free choice here and if I decide I need backup then we would have to do this later, if at all. You can't go, for obvious reasons, and he can't be released just yet. But I think it's suitable for a solo mission."

Schuldig grunted and continued to regard him thoughtfully. "So it's only me that's making you hesitate?"

"You and Yohji. But mainly you right now. You're entitled to my support, Omi recognises that."

"I don't need a babysitter, Ran," Schuldig said roughly, turning his head away. "Go, do this thing and come back. I won't go nuts because you're not there to hold my fucking hand."

Ran pursed his lips in annoyance. "See? Already you're uptight. Schuldig, no one is minimising the stress you are under. The work you, Ken and Omi are doing here is tremendously important. If keeping me around helps that, then I am carrying the task forward too."

"Ran, Liebling, you talk a good game but I know you're bored to tears and frustrated as hell. Go, I'm serious. I've survived worse than this. I just wish I was there as your backup. Omi should go with you at the very least. If it's too much for MI6, I don't see why you should risk your neck."

"It's going to be three weeks before he's free but MI6 will be there to provide a little back up, he said, if he pushed them. I think that sounds reasonable to me."

Schuldig nodded slowly. "I suppose it does. I'm not offering a veto, Ran. You're old enough and competent enough to make your own decisions, and you can't refuse it for my sake, even if I wanted you to. I just want it to be a sound mission, and not planned by those British wankers."

"It won't be." Ran laid his head against Schuldig's shoulder. "But will you really be all right? You were so distressed by being separated from me before...."

"Because we had no option, Ran. We didn't know if it would go on forever but now we have an alternative thanks to Ken, and one day, we won't even need him even if Yohji coming back doesn't solve things." Schuldig brushed back a stray strand of hair from Ran's face – Ran had shaken it loose from the braid as they came out to the verandah. "Don't get me wrong. I'm not thrilled in the least to be losing you even for a little while. But this is our job."

"Yes, it is. And I do want to be doing it, Schu."

Schuldig smiled and kissed him. "When?"

"Next week, once the details of my cover are set up. I will probably be gone a month. Yohji might even be back by then."

"God, I hope so. I miss him, Ran. It's like the light isn't as bright without him around."

"I'm sure he'd find that flattering," Ran said solemnly and Schuldig grinned. "But I know what you mean. It can't be much longer. If we can locate Epitaph, then he can come back immediately."

"Hmmm, a computer. Could be just about anywhere."

"I know. But it's not just a computer, it's people, it's backup, it's the dissemination. If the thing is this important and we know it is because it's running strategy for the entire operation of this terrorism business, there will be an infrastructure."

Schuldig nodded. "But still concealable in many places."

"Yes, I know. But the Sivasothy connection is the key one, I'd bet my savings on it."

"It certainly feels like Estet."

"And you would know, " Ran said unthinkingly. "Oh, I didn't mean...."

"That I would know how Estet thought? Don't be a moron, Ran," Schuldig chided. "I might be rehabilitated but I'm not reincarnated."

Ran was relieved. Schuldig was taking this much better than he'd feared – not that he'd expected a tantrum, but Schuldig had been severely stressed by their previous forced separation, coming as it did on top of so many other things. It confirmed to him that the strength of Weiss in supporting each other had once more been proven, and if he wasn't exactly embarking on this mission with a light heart, at least he had a clear conscience about it. He only hoped he would justify Omi's confidence in him.

A week later, he was in London, shivering in the winter chill. This time, he wasn't staying in the centre of the capital, but rather at its fringes, in the quiet Surrey town of Surbiton, in a flat which was ostensibly being sublet from a friend but in reality being provided by MI6. He was going to go to the college on Monday and try to enrol on a course – possibly apply for a teaching position if there were any going. Alex's report said there was a fast turnover of tutors and other staff, as the college tended to recruit people passing through London who were only staying for a few months to fund their travelling.

His task until then was to recover from his jetlag and to meet with Alex Thompson's former supervisor. He caught the Waterloo-bound train and got off at Vauxhall. The MI6 building wasn't hard to spot, rising over the Thames like a battleship. Schuldig had been amused to see it used in the James Bond films, and had noted dryly that they'd forgotten to paint the big red target on the side of it. After the attacks on the World Trade Centre, that joke hadn't seemed so funny.

He gave his name and was subjected to security checks before being taken up to Walker's offices which had, Ran observed, a fine view along the river to Westminster. Walker was no peon, that was for sure. "Thank you for coming, Mr Midoru," Walker said. "Coffee? Tea?"

"Tea, thank you," Ran said automatically before remembering that the British served appalling tea and he would be given something that he likely would be forced to leave. Oh well, it wasn't as if the coffee was any more drinkable.

Walker served him in silence from a tray set to one side and also gave him some of the odd English fondant-filled cookies that were apparently made to taste stale straight from the packet. Ran carefully ignored them. "I was very sorry to hear of Alex's death," he offered when it seemed Walker wasn't going to initiate a conversation. He thought the other man looked older, more weary. There was a set to his shoulders that was slightly less than the military rectitude Ran had seen the previous year – a subtle difference, but a real one.

"We all were," Walker said curtly, taking his seat behind his desk. "It’s your damn fault, you know."

"I beg your pardon? " Ran said, quite startled by the words. This was the last accusation he expected. "Mr Walker, I've been in Australia...."

"Oh, not that way, I don't mean...." Walker stood up and went over to the window. "After that joint mission, she wanted to continue working on the Estet projects. She was really fired up. I tried to dissuade her – I never thought she would make a field agent – but she was so determined. She said that you really made her see how important defeating Estet was, and that's all she wanted to do. And now she's dead."

Ran remained silent. He knew grief when he saw it. This man had taken Alex's death very personally and Ran knew better than to reason with it. Walker continued. "But that's why I don't believe the suicide idea, Midoru. She believed in what she was doing – she wasn't depressed, she wasn't angry or any of the other damn fool reasons they said she might have blown the top of her head off. The mission was proceeding normally and then her mother finds her at home. The poor bloody woman is still being sedated."

"I understand that it must have been very upsetting. Tell me about the other agent. He was also at the Surrey Institute?"

"Yes. Nigel Stanton. Good chap, solid. Would have made a good soldier, I think. Spun his car off into a ditch, hit a tree and it exploded. Bloody mess. They had to ID him from the dental records."

Ran sipped the tea, refrained from making a face and set the cup down. "But still, only an accident?"

"Apparently."

"You don't sound convinced."

Walker turned to him. "You tell me, Midoru. If your Kritiker had lost two agents that way, they'd be suspicious, wouldn't they?"

"I don’t understand, Mr Walker. You say you're unconvinced these two incidents are innocent, and yet you have removed your people from the infiltration of the centres."

Walker thumped the desk. "Not me, goddammit," he growled. "The higher ups." He stabbed a finger in Ran's direction. "I knew if I poked your Homura, he'd suggest one of you. That's what I wanted. I met him in London earlier this year. I liked the man. He thinks the way I do. I can't just sit here and let the people who killed Alex and Nigel get away with it, but I've got no bloody proof. Get me my proof, Midoru."

"Mr Walker, with respect, I'm here to find Epitaph...."

"Epitaph killed my people, I damn well know it. But it’s like fighting fog." He coughed as if embarrassed. "I thought you'd bring Herr Schuldig with you – I thought you two came as a matched set."

Ran raised an eyebrow. "Mr Schumacher," he said, emphasising the new name, " is needed for the work on the implants and can't be spared. Mr Homura may come over if I need help, but he was hoping you would provide some support."

Walker shook his head. "Can't do a thing, Midoru. Not officially. Been told to move on, back off. It's dead. A dead lead."

"Ah. But unofficially?"

Walker folded his arms. "What do you need?"

"I don't know yet. One thing I would like is any notes that Alex may have given you that you haven't passed on. Do you have the learning materials she was using?"

"I can get them to you before you go. What can you find that she didn't, Midoru?"

Ran laid his hands on the table. "I don't know. But if you didn’t think there was something to find, you've have hardly gone to this trouble to manipulate my boss into sending me here, would you?"

Walker gave him a wolfish grin. "Maybe I want to see you bastards fail."

"And maybe you want to make sure no one else dies like Alex did. Mr Walker, have you got implanted agents in this building?"

"No, of course not. That's all being handled up in Edinburgh."

"Then perhaps you should get yourself a telepath. Because if Alex and Mr Stanton were identified as agents, thus leading to their deaths, you may have a leak in your organisation. The thing about fog, Mr Walker, is that it can go places many other things can't – and so can telepathy." Ran sat back in his chair. "It's only a suggestion."

Walker grunted. "Let me get that material for you." He picked up a phone and made a curt request to someone at the other end of the line. "If you need to make contact with me, I'll give you a secure line and email you can use. I can't believe we have a mole but if it makes you happy, I can meet you away from here."

"I'd be happier if we didn't meet any more often than is strictly necessary until this is over, if you don’t mind," Ran said firmly.

"As you wish. That's sensible. You've got your disguise in hand, at least."

Ran resisted raising a hand to touch his newly darkened hair. "We thought it wise this time around."

Walker nodded. There was a knock at the door and he rose to accept the material from the person in the corridor without letting them into the room – perhaps Ran's warning had had some effect, or maybe Walker didn't want to unnecessarily advertise who was visiting him. Ran stood and let Walker show him the contents of a document wallet. "Here are the disks that were in her computer when she died. They're part of the teaching package which is in this folder," he showed him a set of printed notes. "We had her registered to learn Russian allegedly to help her with some post-graduate studies. They all seem completely kosher – don’t like the idea of this computer-aided learning myself but perhaps that's the future for you. And here are the documents I didn’t send – there's nothing much in them."

"She mentioned that there had been trouble at the Surrey University campus – why did that attract her attention?"

"I have no idea. Maybe she was just noting anything unusual to do with the institutions. But tension between students isn't that unusual here – not when you've got a mixed population of Asians and whites."

Ran frowned. Something must have caught her eye. He wondered if Alex had been keeping something back, perhaps afraid it wasn't substantial enough for her superiors – inexperienced with dealing with Estet as she was, she might have been waiting for the kind of concrete evidence she was very unlikely to get. Walker was right to blame him, if Alex had been persuaded to get into field work against Estet before she was ready for it. "May I take this away?"

"Provided it's returned. The disks are original, the rest are copies. You understand the need for safe disposal."

"Yes."

Walker handed him a card with the contact information on it. "Midoru, if you... if you start to feel what Alex did, for God's sake, call that number, don't use your gun."

The senior agent's embarrassment at showing concern was only what Ran would have felt, so he understood his gruff tone. "I appreciate your support, Mr Walker. I will do my best to find out what happened to her."

"Have you ever lost anyone from your team?" Walker asked as they walked to the door.

"I lost my entire team several years ago. I was the only survivor." Ran tried very hard not to think of Sendai – he'd had so many other griefs and that one was such a long time ago – but Walker's words brought the guilt and the pain back freshly to him.

Walker turned, looked at him carefully and then nodded. "Then you understand," he said, before opening the door and leading him down the corridor to the lifts. "Good luck."

"Thank you." I'll need it, Ran thought.

Ken kept waiting for the other boot to drop. Ran had been gone a week and a half, and so far, things were going smoothly on both fronts. Too smoothly, Ken felt. Schuldig had dealt with his lover's absence with suspicious equanimity and good humour, but Ken thought it had to be an act. None of the three were the model of even temper when any of the others were absent for whatever reason, but Schuldig had been pretty volatile for a while now, although not, Ken had to admit, since he himself had been implanted and Ran and Schuldig had been able to meet once more. Since then, Schuldig seemed to have found hitherto unsuspected reserves of maturity and tolerance, but Ken had thought that had been for Ran's benefit. He and Louise had girded their loins, ready for Schuldig to fall apart fairly spectacularly once Ran had flown to London, but so far, that hadn't happened. It worried Ken – worried him a lot.

It was less of a surprise that Ran's mission had been pretty unremarkable up to this point. After all, if MI6 hadn't found anything in a month, it would take Ran at least that long to find clues to Epitaph's whereabouts. So Omi had opined, and Ken agreed with him. Ran had got a job as an Japanese tutor within a week of going to London, so things were going according to predictions. The only anomaly was that some disks that had been found in Alex Thompson' possession had produced some odd physical symptoms in Ran when he'd viewed them – they'd been sent to MI6's lab for analysis but nothing had been found. They were on their way to Australia for ASIO's boffins to look at.

Life was just very worryingly calm, Ken thought.

And then, two weeks after Ran flew to London, Yohji came home.

They'd had forty-eight hours' warning that things had suddenly gone to shit in Singapore, that Li Kwan was dead, Yohji had been injured and airlifted out of Singapore back to Queensland to Toowoomba's Base Hospital in the company of Captain Jensen and his team. Jensen had wanted to know if Yohji should be kept in Toowoomba as he recovered, or brought back to Brisbane and Ken had insisted that he was brought back to his friends – how could any of them bear to have him so close and yet not see him? Ken and Louise were already in Brisbane on a scheduled weekend at home when they got the news and it was decided that Yohji would possibly be most comfortable not living in close quarters with everyone else. Omi and Schuldig hastily rearranged things in Canberra so they could all be in Brisbane when Yohji came home. Now they were all in Ken and Louise's flat, waiting with barely concealed impatience for his arrival. Schuldig was slouched in the armchair, his eyes heavy-lidded as he watched Omi pace. Louise was nervously cleaning the spotless kitchen, and Ken was watching the monitor that covered the car park. They knew Yohji would be back sometime this morning, but that was all they knew.

"They're here," Ken said, finally spotting a vehicle drive into the parking area.

Omi immediately headed for the door, but stopped at Schuldig's barked, "Wait!"

"Why?"

"Omi – he doesn't know who you are. Wait and calm down," Schuldig said through gritted teeth.

Two minutes later there was a knock on the door. At a nod from Schuldig, Louise was the one to open it. "Yohji!" Ken heard his wife exclaim joyfully, and then... there he was.

"Hey," Yohji said, looking a little overwhelmed, browner, thinner, both eyes blackened, bandages on his cheek and on his forehead, and his left arm in a sling. He was accompanied – actually, supported – by Captain Jensen, who helped him limp carefully over to the chair that Schuldig had vacated. "I wasn't expecting a welcoming committee." He looked up at Jensen. "They are welcoming me, right?" he joked, but there was real uncertainty in his expression.

"They're your team, Yohji. You'll be safe." Ken blinked at Jensen's kindly tone and the obvious concern he was showing their battered friend. Jensen straightened. "The docs say he needs rest. He's got a concussion and a dislocated shoulder, but the rest is bruising. That should be fine in a week or so." He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and a packet. "That's the medical instructions, his medications and my final report. Will you be okay, Yohji?"

"I'll be fine, Andy," Yohji said warmly, and Ken knew he wasn't the only one boggling. Yohji used to despise Jensen. "Thanks for your help – and everything else."

Omi held out his hand to Jensen, who shook it formally. "Yes, thank you, Captain, for bringing him back safely. I see you didn't escape unscathed," he added, referring to Jensen's bruised face and bandaged wrist.

"It's nothing. Yohji was the one who fell off the building."

Ken gave a little involuntary gasp and Louise looked at Jensen in horror. "Fell...off?" Ken said faintly.

"Hey, I survived," Yohji said cheerfully but there was something dark lurking in his eyes. "Andy, take care driving home, okay?"

"I'll be staying in Brisbane tonight, Yohji. I won't be driving back until tomorrow. Now, everyone, I'll leave you to get reacquainted."

"Wait," Omi said. "Let me walk you out."

That left the three of them looking at Yohji in an uneasy silence. It was Louise who broke it. "So, would any one like some tea?" she asked in a bright voice.

"Tea would be great," Ken said enthusiastically, trying to lighten the atmosphere. He noticed that Schuldig hadn't said anything yet and was just watching Yohji, like he was a kind of bug.

"Fine by me, " Yohji said, reaching into his shirt pocket and pulling out a packet of cigarettes.

"Er... not in here, please, Yohji, " Ken said, with a significant glance at his wife.

"Oh. Right. Sorry." He shoved the cigarettes back in his pocket, but now he seemed even less at ease. "So, I hear I know you all. Want to tell me who you are?"

Ken rolled over to Yohji's chair and put out his hand. "I'm Ken, and that's Louise, my wife. The guy who just left is Omi, our boss...."

"Boss? That kid?" Yohji laughed. "I figured you to be the boss," he said, looking at Schuldig. "You are...?"

"I'm Schu," Schuldig said briefly.

Something in his tone made Yohji's smile falter. "Right. And you're all friends of mine?" With the slightest emphasis on 'all' as he looked at Schuldig.

"Sure. Look," Ken said eagerly, pointing at the newly framed photo gracing the wall near the TV. "See? You were best man at my wedding. That's you and everyone else."

"Who's the other guy? The other redhead."

"Ran."

Yohji turned to Schuldig who'd answered his question. "Another friend?"

"You could say that." Schuldig frowned at the door. "Where the hell is Omi?"

"I'm sure he won't be long," Ken said. Louise set the tea tray down in front of them and poured out a cup for Yohji. "You need him here for this?"

"It would help," Schuldig said tightly, launching himself off the wall against which he'd been lounging and heading out the door, presumably to find Omi.

"Man, he's uptight. I hope we don't have to share an office or something," Yohji said. Louise gave a nervous chuckle, which made Yohji look at her. "I must have been off my game the day I let this guy carry you away, pretty lady."

"You were otherwise engaged," she said dryly, backing off. "Ken, I think I'll just go check ... upstairs. Back soon."

In other words, she was freaked and was going to hide on the roof. Ken wished he could escape so easily.

"Something I said?" Yohji said, staring in the direction his hostess had taken.

Ken shrugged. "It's just a bit strange for us, Yohji. We know you really well – hell, you're my best friend – and it's just weird that you don't recognise us. But Schu's going to help you in a minute. " Yeah, and I wish you'd hurry the fuck up, he fumed.

Yohji seemed satisfied with that answer. "I get that." His hand edged towards his pocket but then he tucked it back in his lap. "Are you sure I can't light up?"

It had been years since Ken had heard that mournful plea. It had once meant Yohji being allowed to sneak out the back of the flower shop for a quick nicotine fix. "Can it wait a few minutes? We can take you up to your flat and you can make yourself at home again."

"Okay," Yohji said equably. But his eyes looked hunted and there were lines of tension between them that hadn't been there when he left.

"Tough mission?"

"Yeah." Yohji waved at Ken's chair. "You used to be active?"

"We worked together in the field for two years until I got hurt."

"Ah. Sorry. Don't mind me, I don't know what I'm saying."

Ken made himself smile reassuringly. "It's okay, Yohji. You were there – you helped me through it."

"Good," Yohji said. "I'm glad someone did. Why are we waiting again?"

"Um...." But then the door opened again and a serious-faced Omi and a grim-looking Schuldig came in. "So, can we do this?" He wanted his friend back.

"Sit down, Omi. Shields up," Schuldig said curtly, taking the seat near Yohji. "Yohji, I'm not sure how this will feel, and I need you to just relax and let us look after you."

Yohji held up his hands. "Whoa, wait a minute. What's 'this'? I don't really know what you did to me in the first place. Andy said you can help me remember who you guys are – is it dangerous?"

Schuldig made as if to take Yohji's hand, but stopped at Yohji's surprised look. "It's not dangerous, but it might be somewhat disturbing. It's a little like hypnosis. What I've done is block your memory in stages, and I'll set it to unblock in stages, so you're not overwhelmed."

"You? Why you?"

Omi cleared his throat. "Yohji, a lot of this will make sense when Schu releases the memory blocks. Until then, you need to trust us. You trust Cap...Andy, don't you?" Yohji nodded slowly. "He wouldn't have left you with us if he didn't trust us as well, right?"

"I guess not. Okay. What do I do?" Yohji asked, his mouth turned down grimly.

"Relax. Close your eyes if you like," Schuldig said gently. Yohji obeyed, and then Schuldig's expression was set in concentration. "Omi?"

"Ready."

"All right."

Ken waited, holding his breath. The trouble with this mind mojo crap was that you couldn't see what was happening. There was no reaction from anyone for nearly a minute, and then Yohji put his hand to his forehead as if he was in pain. "Easy, Liebchen," Schuldig murmured. "Just a little more...."

And then he straightened up and Yohji opened his eyes. "Schuldig?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes. Take your time, kitten."

Yohji looked around the room. "Ken...Omi...."

"Yes, Yohji," Omi said with a relieved smile. "What do you remember?"

"Just your names, faces.... Is there someone.... Louise? She's... your wife?" Yohji asked Ken.

"Yes," Ken said thankfully. "She's just upstairs in the garden. How do you feel?"

Yohji rubbed his forehead. "Like I need a cigarette. " He smiled tiredly. "Will I remember more than this soon? It's kinda weird – the gaps are really obvious now. Like poking a missing tooth."

"Yes, soon," Schuldig said, reaching for Yohji's hand. Yohji gave him a funny look, so he stopped. "I'm hoping it will all come back naturally – as you 'reach' for a memory, it should come back the second or third try."

"'Hoping'? You haven't done this before?" Yohji said sharply, all trace of humour gone. "What am I, some kind of guinea pig?"

"No," Schuldig said sharply. "Yohji...." He put out a reassuring hand, but Yohji recoiled from it.

"Look, keep your damn hands to yourself, okay? How come you said 'hoping'?" He pushed himself awkwardly out of the armchair and pulled the cigarettes out of his pocket before apparently remembering Ken's request and shoving them back with an annoyed snort. "You didn't think it would work, did you? That's why you were all so fucking uptight when I got here – you weren't sure if you'd screwed up. Sheesh." He reached for his cigarettes again. "Fuck, isn't there somewhere I can smoke?"

How had this got out of hand so fast? "Out the back," Ken said. "Come with me. Omi, Schu, maybe... maybe you should let me and Lou handle this for now."

"Whatever," Schuldig snapped, stalking out the front door, and slamming it

Omi gave Ken a rueful look. "We'll be upstairs. Come and see me later, Ken."

Ken beckoned to Yohji. "Come on, we've got a little garden we can sit in."

Yohji declined assistance in getting outside, seemed to relax as soon as he was outside. He pulled out a cigarette, lit it and took a long drag. "Man, I needed that." He sat down in one of the chairs and stared moodily out into the backyards of their neighbours.

"You realise you didn't smoke for four years."

"Yeah? Why the hell did I stop?"

Ken thought about explaining about Kritiker, the temple, the hospital and Ran and decided that was a can of worms they could open later. "It's a long story."

"Who the fuck are those people? Why did I agree to let them play with my head? And if you're my best friend, why didn't you stop them?"

Even though he knew how hard this must be for Yohji, Ken still bristled at the tone of the question. "Hey, it was actually your damn idea, Yohji. You and Omi made Schu do it, and Omi said you were the one who insisted on doing it this way."

Yohji blew a plume of smoke. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. So why don't you calm down? We really are your friends."

Yohji looked at him narrowly. "Schuldig is more than a friend, right?"

"Yeah," Ken said wryly. "You can't remember any of that?"

"Not yet."

He shifted in the plastic chair, clearly in some discomfort from his injuries and Ken realised at least some of Yohji's irritability had to be the concussion and being in pain. "Look, you should really just take it easy today. Let what Schu did do its thing. Your flat's upstairs, but if you can't manage with your arm and all, you can stay with me and Louise."

"Thanks," Yohji said, grinding out his half-smoked cigarette under his shoe. "It's been a hell of a couple of days," he murmured.

"I bet, with you falling off that building and everything. You were lucky you walked away."

Yohji shot him a sharp look. "Real lucky. Not like some," he said bitterly.

Ken remembered that Li Kwan had been killed in the same explosion in which Yohji had been injured, and wondered how close Yohji had got to his target. "Well, it's done now. You're on leave and you can just get used to being back."

"Do I live with Schu?"

"Not exactly."

"So I live alone."

"Er, not exactly."

"You're a big help," Yohji said with a trace of a grin. "So I have a girlfriend as well?"

"Um... maybe I'll let you remember more before I explain that." Where the hell was Louise, Ken wanted to know.

As if Yohji was reading his mind, he asked, "So where's your wife gone?"

"Probably up to Ran's garden," Ken said without thinking.

"Ran...Ran...I know him.... Where is he?" Yohji asked with a frown.

"He's on a mission, Yohji. Omi will brief you on it when you've got more of your memory back."

Yohji nodded, then stood up, wincing. "Okay. Show me where I live."

Ken hoped Schuldig wasn't in Yohji's flat, fondling his underwear and then was startled by Schuldig's voice suddenly intruding into his mind. [Give me some credit, please, Hidaka?]

[You've been listening in?]

[Of course – you think I'm just going to abandon Yohji like that? Omi and I are in Omi's apartment. We won't get in your way. Louise is coming back down – I've told her what you're doing.]

Even in this mental dialogue, Ken could tell how upset Schuldig was at Yohji's anger. [Give him some time, Schu. He'll get used to this.]

[Grandmothers and eggs, Hidaka,] Schuldig snapped and then the link was broken with a mental slamming of the 'door' which made Ken wince slightly.

Yohji was peering at him. "Er, Ken – you in there?"

"Huh? Yeah. Okay, let's go to the lift."

Yohji walked beside him. "It must really suck being stuck in that chair. You break your back?"

"Yeah. But my life's okay, Yohji. Compared to what it was like a couple of years ago, I'm in paradise."

Yohji stopped. "Fuck, life must have really been bad back then."

"More like, I'm just really happy now." Ken thought about telling him about the baby, but thought it could wait.

They got to the second floor and he handed Yohji his key. "Okay, home sweet home."

Yohji hesitated, and then unlocked the door. He looked around, obviously surprised. "It feels like someone's been here recently."

"Lou freshened everything but Ra...."

Ken stopped. He forgot sometimes that Yohji was damn sharp. But he'd already given too much away. "Ra... Ran?" He looked at Ken curiously. "I live with Ran? Live with or...?"

"He's your lover," Ken admitted. "Look. See the photos?" He wheeled over to the display unit where Ran had his photos arranged on the shelf over the stereo. "That's you and him at Lone Pine. And that's the three of you...."

"Three? I have two lovers? Ran and Schu?"

"Um... yeah."

"Gods." Yohji rubbed his forehead again and then walked around the flat, picking up things, looking at the photos, touching the huge collection of CDs – his and Ran's, Ken knew. "None of it seems familiar. It's creepy – you say this is mine?"

"Yours and Ran's." Ken watched Yohji struggle for a few minutes more and then took pity on him. "Why don't you come downstairs again? I can get Lou to pack you up some clothes and we can take care of you until you feel more settled."

Yohji seemed to collapse a little as if all the energy which had got him this far had disappeared. "Won't that disrupt things for you?"

"Not as much as you being gone all this time," Ken said seriously. "I don't think you realise how happy we are to have you back. All of us," he said emphatically. "I really missed you, Yohji."

Yohji gave him a lopsided smile. "I wish I could say the same, Ken. But I miss not having missed you, if that's any consolation."

"It will have to do," Ken said kindly, tugging on Yohji's good arm. "Come on. Lou's planned lunch for you. All you have to do is just let us look after you."

[Thank you, KenKen.]

[You're welcome, Schu. What will you and Omi do?]

[Keep out of your way for today. Omi will brief Yohji tomorrow about Ran's mission. He's looking over Jensen's report. One thing – Yohji's mission was a bitch. He's hiding it, but he's fucked up about the death of that Kwan woman. Lay off talking about me and Ran – me, at least. And don't be surprised at anything he says or does.]

[Schu, he's not going to hurt anyone, is he?]

[Nein. He's not dangerous. But he's feeling very low, Ken. He needs you.]

[Well, he's got me. We'll take real good care of him, trust me.]

He felt the mental equivalent of a nod and then his mind was his own again. Yohji was giving him a funny look. "Sorry, just thinking. Let's go."

It looked like the other boot had finally dropped.

Louise was her normal cheerful self when she returned from hiding on the roof, so whatever Schuldig had explained had helped. But Yohji was subdued and quiet, picking at the food that was served to him and apologising that he didn't have much of an appetite. Schuldig passed on a mental message that his kitten was due a dose of painkillers so Ken insisted that Yohji took them. They had a rapid effect, making Yohji so drowsy that he let Louise show him the spare room and tuck him into bed without a word of protest. Ken watched and then let himself be shooed out of the room. "I need to speak to Omi and Schu," he whispered.

"We both do. Schu can keep an eye on him from up there, right?"

Ken agreed and they left their sleeping friend alone in their flat as they went up to the next floor to Omi's place. "He's asleep," Louise reported.

"He's also freaked out," Ken said. "How long before he gets everything back?"

"A few days," Schuldig said, rising to go and stand by Omi's balcony windows. "It's not that per se that's the problem. The problem is Li Kwan."

"His emotions became more involved than they should have done," Omi clarified.

"Well, of course they damn well did," Ken said in exasperation. "It's Yohji. Didn't you think about this?"

"Twenty-twenty hindsight is a marvellous thing, Ken," Schuldig sneered. "And yes, I had some thoughts about this but I was overruled," he added nastily, staring at Omi. "So now we have someone who's already confusing his feelings about Asuka's death and Kwan's, and will then shortly remember that he killed the woman he thought was Asuka, not to mention all the other shit that's happened in his life. You think he's freaked out now? Wait until that hits."

"But what about remembering you and Ran?" Louise said. "Won't that kind of take the edge of it?"

"When he remembers, maybe. But that will come after. Scheisse! I should have let him remember all at once." Schuldig pounded the wall next to the window. "Stupid, stupid."

"And you can't, like, do that now?" Ken asked, not having the faintest clue how this all worked and not sure he wanted to.

"No, KenKen, I can't, or I would have fucking well done so," Schuldig snapped.

"It's a reasonable question," Louise said firmly. "You don't need to be such a brat."

"'Brat'? Practicing for the children, Mrs Saki?"

Ken bridled, but it was Omi who answered. "Schuldig, that's enough! This isn't helping anyone and all you're doing to pissing away the goodwill that all of us have for you and your concerns. Louise is quite right – we need to know how to help him, not wallow around laying blame. I accept the responsibility for what's happened, and for forcing you to do something you disagreed with. You can all flay me, if you want. But right now, I want to help Yohji. He's already in a great deal of emotional as well as physical pain, and I don't want that to get worse or continue." He stared at Schuldig. "If you just want to stand there and fling insults, you'd be better off going back to Canberra."

"Oh, get off your high horse, Omi. Not everyone can be as emotionless and cold as you. Some of us need to say things before we deal with stuff." Schuldig stared out the window.

"And some of us know better than to try and make everyone else feel like crap," Louise said, her colour high. "Omi, what can we do?"

Omi glanced at Schuldig. "My only suggestion is more of what you are doing, Louise, you and Ken. Be kind, sympathetic, offer him a safe place to recover and give him time. Yohji accepted that things would be rough when he got back. It's not like he went in blind – he's not a stupid man."

Ken knew that comment wasn't for Louise's benefit. "He's also strong too, and when Ran gets back, that will help."

"Yes, of course it will," Schuldig said with heavy derision. "Since his big bad old evil lover tricked him into getting his memory wiped and obviously anything I might have to offer is complete shit compared with darling Ran." He headed towards the front door but found his way blocked by Louise. "Be careful, Mrs Saki. You don't make the barrier you think you do."

"Don't you lay a finger on her, Schuldig!' Ken shouted.

"Will you all shut up!" Omi yelled. "Schuldig, get back over here and be quiet. Louise, please, sit down. Ken, back off. Gods, this is worse than high school. First of all, Schuldig, apologise to Louise."

Louise stared at her feet. Schuldig stared at her, and then he walked over and knelt before her chair. "I'm sorry, Schatzi. That was horrible of me."

"Oh, Schu," she whispered and then he leaned forward and put his arms around her shoulders. "I was only going to tell you that I know Yohji loves you. I just didn't want you to run off." Ken longed to go to her side, but also knew that it was important that Schuldig apologise properly.

"I know. Thank you, my dear. You shouldn't have to see my displays of bad behaviour." Schuldig lifted his head. "Nor should you, Ken. I apologise to you also."

"You're forgiven," Ken said tightly, wheeling himself to Louise's side and taking her hand. Schuldig got the hint and backed off to sit on the sofa. "But don't ever threaten her again or I'll shoot your balls off. You all right, love?"

She sniffed and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. "Bloody hormones," she muttered. Ken put his arm around her and held her as close as he could. She gave him a sweet, damp smile and relaxed.

"Good," Omi said grimly. "Now, Schuldig, I know Yohji is angry but that's because he hasn't remembered what happened before the mission or about your relationship. You know that perfectly well, and I know perfectly well that when he does he's going to be mortified for what he said today. If you want him to keep feeling bad, by all means, run off and lay that guilt on him. But if you care about him as much as you've been telling us all for years, then stay and ride it out. It’s not like he's got any choice but to do so."

"Schuldig, can you speed up or slow down this memory recall?" Ken wanted to know. "Or block the memories of Kwan, until he's got the others ones back?"

Schuldig shook his head. "I could, Ken, but to be honest, I'm afraid of doing more damage. The most I'm prepared to do is monitor his thoughts, and maybe help him sleep or calm down if things get too much. I told you, Omi – I'm not an expert in the mind. The only reason I ever did this before was to hurt people. Why the hell won't people listen to me any more?"

Omi stared back. "I've already acknowledged my fault, Schuldig, and I apologise once again for my mistake. I can't keep saying that – it's doesn't help things. But you're probably right that the best thing we can do is keep him comfortable and calm, and let him adjust in his own way. If there are residual long-term effects, we can try and deal with those – but it's too early to panic. I know it's painful for all of you to see this – especially you, Schuldig – and I'm very grateful Ran isn't here."

"Has anyone told him Yohji's back?" Louise asked, her voice still a little muffled. She pulled out her handkerchief and blew her nose vigorously, and then put a cheerful look on her face. Ken took her hand and held it firmly.

"I emailed him an hour ago and reassured him that Yohji would be fine," Omi said. "There's no pointing worrying him with the details – by the time he gets home, Yohji will most likely be back to normal. Listen to me, all of you. I warned you before this mission that we would need to support each other over this and this is the time when that's more true than it's ever been. Schuldig, if you need to yell at anyone, yell at me, but keep the others out of it. Louise, Ken, you've done exactly what I hoped you would do and I'm sure Yohji is in the best hands. Schu and I will monitor things from a distance." He pursed his lips. "Unfortunately, I really have to be back in Canberra on Thursday. If Yohji isn't coming right by then... Schu, what do you think?"

Schuldig folded his arms and appeared to consider the question. "It's not something I'm an expert in, Omi, how many times do I have to... look, a lot depends on Yohji. He's strong, it's going to hurt, I don't know what to suggest. Time, love and time. Short of sending him to the kind of professional help which wouldn't know where to start with this, there's not a lot else to try."

Ken admired the honesty, but he still couldn't help being angry that these considerations weren't factored in better and earlier- and part of him understood why Schuldig was so pissed off with Omi. "Then if that's the best we can do, that's what we do. Lou and I will watch him – Omi, what about Ran? Are you going to tell Yohji about the mission tomorrow?"

"Hmmm, maybe see how he's dealing with things. Schu, I think you and Yohji better stay apart until he remembers who you are – because I presume any time soon he's going to remember who you were and that's going to be awkward."

Schuldig bared his teeth. "You think?"

Ken rolled his eyes. They'd done all they could for now. "What does Jensen say in his report? Please tell me all this agony was worth it."

Omi nodded and reached for a folder on his coffee table. "Yes, it was. Not only did we identify over two hundred Estet operatives in the Southeast Asian region, we also got the names of some key figures in Europe and confirmed that Estet are behind these 'polite'," he made the quote marks with his fingers, " terrorists. We know what Epitaph is, we know in which country it's housed. We haven't made all the connections, but I can honestly say that Yohji has made a tremendous contribution to the fight against Estet and what they're doing." He tapped the folder. "Jensen says they also got the hard disks of two computers from Kwan's office before it was blown up, and once they decrypt those, we may have more valuable information. With any luck, it may locate Epitaph exactly and Ran's mission will be completed then." He sighed. "And then, with any luck, all my friends and my family will be safe and I won't ever fuck them over again."

"Oh, Omi," Louise murmured. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"My apologies, Louise, that was rather self-pitying," Omi said with a wry twist to his mouth. "I should also have mentioned that when Yohji killed Li Kwan, he also disrupted a major terrorist operation. He saved many lives just by that one action alone. Jensen's report makes it sound like he wants to marry Yohji and have his offspring, he's so impressed."

Ken coughed out a laugh and even Schuldig cracked a slight smile. "They were pretty friendly," Ken said. "Maybe you should ask Jensen to join Weiss too."

"Nein!' Schuldig said in horror and this time Louise laughed. Schuldig scowled at Ken. "Bad joke, KenKen."

"I can see how you wouldn't want the competition," Ken said sweetly. "I just wonder what Yohji will say when he remembers what a prick Jensen used to be to him."

"If Schuldig and Ran can fall in love," Omi said with a surprisingly bright grin, "I can believe just about anything. But they've been working closely together for months – things like that change people, change friendships. I wouldn't be surprised if they remained friendly, if not exactly friends. Jensen isn't that bad once you get to know him. He's honest and loyal and an excellent operative."

"And a homophobic prick," Schuldig muttered.

"Ah, but remember what you used to say about Ran?" Ken reminded him. "And you must have room for one more in that big old bed of yours."

"I was saving that for you, KenKen, if my dear Louise could ever spare you. Maybe those nights when the baby's keeping you awake, and you can't sleep, we could move over and finally show you what you've been missing all this time." Schuldig's smile was perfectly malicious, but Ken could tell it really was just teasing.

Louise smacked Ken's arm. "I don't know whether to tell you to take him up on it just to see his jaw hit the floor, or threaten to murder you if you ever even think about it, Ken Saki!"

"Whoa, boys and girls. Louise, you're all I need, believe me," Ken affirmed hastily. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Besides, his breasts aren't as beautiful as yours."

She giggled, and Schuldig stuck his tongue out, which proved to Ken that Schuldig had been reading his mind.

"If you've all finished lowering the tone of this discussion," Omi interjected severely, even as a grin teased his lips, "perhaps you two would like to go back to your apartment. I take it Yohji is going to stay with you for a few days?"

"He's in a lot of pain, Omi, and he can't really look after himself. Schu, maybe you could pack a bag with a couple of change of clothes for him and his toiletries so Lou can bring them down. How long did the doctors say before his arm's healed?"

Omi checked his notes. "He'll need the sling for three to four weeks but we need to arrange some physiotherapy as soon as we can. Ken, you know the most about that of all of us, I'll let you arrange that. That's the most serious injury – he might need something for the worst bruising but pain relief is the main thing. Those muscle relaxants will help."

"We could have lost him," Louise said. "I mean, with the explosion...." She covered her mouth. "I only just realised that – he could have died."

Ken rubbed her shoulders. "Hon, that's true every time they go on a mission. Yohji's always had the luck of a cat. And the grace. He'll be fine. He's been through things a thousand times worse than this, right, Omi?"

"Yes, indeed. As have we all. Right, Schu, if you would get Yohji's things, we can let Louise and Ken go. Thank you."

Louise went with Schuldig and Omi seemed to be set to follow, but Ken caught his arm as Omi moved past him. "Omi, don't let this kill your nerve," he said quietly. "You're still a good leader of Weiss."

Omi's posture seem to sag. "He's right to be angry, Ken."

"Maybe, but last time I looked you weren't a precog, so you didn't know about all this. Now you do. Hell, look at how many times Manx and Persia sent us out and they didn't give a shit how safe we were or if we were killed. Yohji's home. The rest we can handle."

"Thank you, Ken. I'm sorry you and Louise have the burden...."

Ken smacked his arm. "Yohji is not a burden. I love him like a brother. Family isn't a burden. He isn't and neither are you, so shut the hell up about that."

"Okay." Omi grinned a little. "Won't it be great when Ran gets back?"

"We're going to need the foundations reinforced," Ken said deadpan and was gratified when Omi blushed as he got the joke. "I'll see you tomorrow. Drop in – it can't do any harm. Maybe not Schu...."

"No, not yet. But yes, I'll be there. Good luck."

They'd need it, Ken thought.

Ran closed his eyes. Thank the gods, he said fervently. He had received a very oblique email from Omi, designed to excite not the slightest suspicion no matter where he logged into his webmail or who read it, but the message was clear. Yohji was home, Yohji was safe, and a weight that had lodged in Ran's chest for what seemed like forever was now gone. Yohji would look after Schuldig, Schuldig would look after Yohji and both of them would be safe and cared for until his return. All Ran had to do was complete his mission and he could go home too.

But the mission was proving elusive. He'd got a position as a tutor with ease – all they really wanted to know was what languages he spoke, had he ever taught and could he handle a diverse range of students – to which questions he could give mostly truthful answers. The pay was appalling, which didn't bother him in the slightest, of course, but it gave him a pretty free hand in wandering around the surprisingly large campus, and in asking questions of students and tutors alike.

Not that this helped much. His biggest lead had come even before he'd started, when he put Alex's course disks into his laptop and almost immediately been assailed by migraine-like pain and vision disturbance – not unlike what he'd suffered when the problems between him and Schuldig had started. For a few minutes, he was worried it was a resurgence of those, but with a little cautious experimentation, he was able to assure himself it was the disks themselves. He contacted Walker and told him what had happened, and Walker had arranged a drop off for the disks, promising to get them analysed either by MI6 or ASIO. Unfortunately, knowing there was something up with the disks wasn't the same as knowing what was up, nor did it help the mission other than to add weight to Walker's suspicions that Alex's death wasn't what it seemed.

"Ran! Ran!" He turned and waited politely for his fellow tutor, Ann Thurfield. The young woman had started work for the college just a few days before him, and as she was studying Japanese, had gravitated to him. She'd been very helpful in orienting him, and she provided undemanding company. "Do you want to have lunch?"

He looked at his watch. "I have a class at two."

"Me too, so let's walk down to the High Street. We can raid Marks and Sparks."

"Marks and Sparks?"

"The food shop – you know, Marks and Spencer. You must have seen the stores, all green and blue?"

"Uh, I might," he hedged. He wasn't a great one for remembering shops.

She punched his arm lightly. "Some traveller you are. Come on, I want to practice my Japanese on you!"

He followed her lead, resigning himself to an hour of tortured Japanese and strange English food. But to his surprise and relief, the surprisingly large store sold sushi, and a number of foodstuffs he judged acceptable, and Ann was happy to eat as he did. "In six months, I'm going to be eating sushi in Tokyo," she said emphatically. At least, that's what he thought she thought she was saying. It came out rather oddly, but he nodded agreeably. He was in a good mood, and she could benefit from that.

He was only listening with half an ear as he ate, so he missed what she'd said. He asked in English for her to repeat it, not willing to let her mangle his native tongue any more than necessary. "I said that tomorrow I've got an aptitude test for the accelerator course. I hope I get on it – it's supposed to be brill."

Brill? "Accelerator course? What's that?"

"Oh, it's like this thing where they make your brain work harder and faster through a set of special exercises. Not everyone can do it, so you have to sit a test to see if you're suitable. I hope I am, it's supposed to help you learn a language in half the time it normally takes."

Ran's interest was immediately piqued. "How does that work? Do they use the computer for it?"

She shrugged. "I don't really know. Basically our prof came in and asked if anyone wanted to go for it and I did. I'm surprised no one's asked you."

"I haven't been here so long and maybe it's not suitable for ESOL."

"Maybe. It's expensive, but if it cuts the course time in half, it will be worth it. They said I could trade off teaching time to help pay for it. I don't care what I have to do to get fluent, I just want to go to Japan and teach English."

Ran nodded. He let her chatter for the rest of their dinner hour but he resolved to find out more about this 'accelerator course'. With so little to go on, every lead had to be pursued. He wanted to go home soon.

Ken had got into the habit of rising before Louise the last month or so, so he could make tea and bring in some crackers before she started to move around, in an effort to forestall the nausea she had been suffering. As always, getting out of bed was a procedure which needed careful planning and before he was in his chair, Louise was awake, looking at him sleepily, and he could hear someone in the kitchen. "Back in a minute, love," he said, wheeling around to her side so he could give her a kiss. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Mmmm, okay. Don't want to get up."

"Then don't."

He kissed her again and wheeled himself out into the kitchen. There was no one there, but he could guess where they had gone. He put the kettle on and then went out the back where Yohji was sitting in the garden, holding a cigarette but not actively smoking it. "Hey," Yohji said.

"How did you sleep?"

"Like a drugged man," Yohji answered with a wry grin. "Those are pretty powerful pills."

"Muscle relaxants. You don't need to take them unless you're in a lot of pain. Are you?"

"It all hurts, but I've had worse." He pointed to the sling. "Arm's the worst thing."

Ken nodded. "We need to start some physiotherapy on it if you don't want it to be weak. We had the same thing with Ran a few years ago and he didn't get the right advice, so it's prone to dislocation."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. I'm making tea – want some?"

Yohji stood carefully, winced, and stubbed out the cigarette in the old saucer he'd obviously found as a makeshift ashtray. "Sure."

He followed Ken back in. "Are you always up this early?"

"I sure as hell know you aren't," Ken said with a grin. "Mostly we both are, but I'm taking Lou some tea in bed."

"That some kind of married thing?"

It was as good an opening as any, so Ken took it. "Not really. Louise is expecting, so she's got a little morning sickness."

Yohji gaped. "Expecting... as in, a baby?"

"No, a hippo, Yohji. Of course a baby." The kettle snapped off and Ken set about making the tea. Without prompting, Yohji passed him the tray and helped him lay it out. It was nice that Yohji's instincts for working with him as a team mate seemed to be so deep that amnesia couldn't touch it.

"Wow. That's pretty big news." Yohji watched him pour the tea. "I can remember... you teaching kids? Soccer? Is that right?"

"Yep. I still do, on and off. Give me a minute – help yourself to tea and whatever you want for breakfast. We've got western and Japanese, and everything in between."

He clipped the tray to his chair and took it into the bedroom. Louise was sitting up. "He's awake?" she whispered. "How is he?"

She helped him take the tray off the chair and set it on the side table. "He remembers a little more. Bit too early to tell. I don't want to leave him alone out there – do you mind if I go back?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll drink this and have a shower. Be with you in half an hour or so."

She kissed him and then sat back against the pillows with a mug of tea in her hand. She looked all right, so Ken had no qualms about abandoning her.

Yohji was sitting at the table, tea in front of him, untouched, as he stared into space. "Not hungry?" Ken asked.

"Not really. It's too early. Don’t let me stop you."

Ken put the rice cooker on, poured himself some tea and came over to join his friend. "So, things coming back to you?"

"I guess. I mean, I don't know what's missing but I remember you and Omi... and Aya." His expression became sad. "How long will he be gone?"

"We don't know. Maybe a month or so. How much about him do you remember?" Ken regarded Yohji thoughtfully – the relationship between him and Ran had had an awful lot of rocky patches, and it had only been the last year and a half that they had really put a lot of demons to bed. If Yohji was only remembering the bad times .... "You know, you and he have a great relationship now. You gotta just remember that – the good stuff will come back to you."

"I can remember a little of the good stuff now," Yohji said with a small smile. "Watching him in my bed...I remember you knocking him out – do you still fight?"

"Nope. At least, not like that," Ken said cheerfully. "He's changed, Yohji. Do you remember his sister?"

"Sister? Aya had a sister?" Yohji seemed bewildered by the question.

"Then I guess you don't. It'll come." And won't that be fun, Ken thought.

"Still don't know how I ended up with two male lovers. That's not a joke, I hope."

"It's really not. Long story though. Er, Yohji – there's stuff about Schu...look, when you finally remember how you guys met, can you please remember that you two aren't like that any more? He's worried you're gonna hate him, and honest, he loves you to death."

Yohji's hand drifted over his dressing gown pocket before it moved firmly to the table – Ken wondered if he would find the strength to give up smoking again, and how Ran would cope if he didn't. Ran hated smoking with a vengeance – the smell, what it did to Yohji's lungs, the unnecessary cost and the mess it made. It would make their domestic arrangement difficult for sure. "I take it you don't think he's all that bad. He wasn't exactly Mr Manners yesterday."

"Well, you weren't cutting him a lot of slack either. Look, you don't remember this, and it's gonna hurt when you do, but someone you knew, someone real close to you, forgot who you were and you were just as upset as he was. And that was without the guilt of being the one to have to take the memory away in the first place."

Yohji's eyebrows rose towards his hairline. "Ken, the individual words in that, I understood. The sentences? Forget it."

Ken sighed. "Never mind. It's not going to be a lot of fun for you the next few days, but just remember we're here if you want to talk."

Yohji's mouth compressed into a thin, grim line. "No offense, Ken, but I've been managing just fine for months and it's not been much fun then either. Did I suddenly turn into a blown glass doll when I wasn't looking?"

"Shit, don't be such a bastard, Yohji. The number of times...." Ken nearly punched the table in frustration before remembering it would startle Louise. Besides, it wasn't Yohji's fault. It had taken Ken to be injured before the last barriers between them had fallen. He and Yohji had taken a long time to get past their individual issues and Yohji was still stuck in the history when they hadn't done so. Ken took a deep breath to calm down. "Okay. Let's drop it."

"You miss your friend, don't you?" Yohji said, his mouth twisting. "And I'm not him. Maybe I never will be him. Where does that leave you?"

"Then I get to know the new person. You're still you, Yohji. We can't go back to when we didn't know who you were so even if you change, we're still going to care. You can't really stop us, and I wouldn't even bother trying if I were you." He wheeled himself back to the sink and poured himself some more tea, wondering what might tempt Yohji to eat – of all of them, Yohji normally had the most catholic tastes, happy to eat traditional food or McDonalds burgers for breakfast. A hangover, he'd once said, from being a PI – he had to fit in and being picky about food was out. Ran was a lot more conservative but Ken had noticed that he and Schu had had toast and Vegemite nearly as often as rice and soup. "Feel like trying to make some miso soup?"

"I don't cook, Ken."

"You ...." ...learned, Ken was going to going to say, but that was after the hospital. Goddamn Schuldig! Why hadn't he just brought the memories back all at once? This was torture for all of them. "Never mind." He wasn't sure they had all the ingredients anyway.

He heard the chair scrape and a few halting footsteps, and then the back door opened and closed. He felt bad – he'd been pushing Yohji. But he did miss his friend and only when the Yohji he knew was back would he feel right about this situation. He just hoped Yohji was wrong about his friend never returning, because he needed him and he missed him – and whoever this guy was right now, he needed Yohji too.

Yohji avoided them all as much as he could for the rest of the day. Once he'd found the roof garden, he'd retreated there, immune to all gentle invitations to come down and join Ken and Louise for this or that cup of tea or snack. Louise took him up a tray at lunch time, but when she returned to remind Yohji about his physio appointment mid-afternoon, only one sandwich was gone. Ken knew Schuldig was monitoring his lover constantly but what was going through either of their minds was not vouchsafed to him. Yohji insisted on taking a taxi to the nearby clinic for his appointment – alone. During his absence, another council of war was held in Ken and Louise's flat. "This is so not working, Schuldig," Ken said grimly.

"He's been back for less than a day, Hidaka. Even without the amnesia, there's a lot going on – Ran being away, being injured. So sorry not to be able to shit a miracle for you," Schuldig snapped. He looked tired and strung out, as if he'd not slept at all and was living on his nerves.

Omi didn't look a lot better. "Are you two monitoring him the whole time? Because that's not good for you, Omi – or you either, Schu."

Omi rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I really don't have much choice, Ken. Yohji's unshielded and while he normally offers me some protection against unwanted emotional interference, at the moment it's like living next to a radio transmitter."

"But...I can stop that, can't I?"

Omi waved at Schu. "But then he can't do his thing."

Schuldig turned to Omi. "Ken's got a point, you know. You don't need to be doing this, Omi, and you might even be making it worse for him. Why don't you head south until he's got his shields back?"

Louise laid her hand on Omi's arm. "We can handle things here, Omi. Besides, you said you were busy."

Omi seemed confused. "But... I want to help him."

"Then go to Canberra, Omi. You can't help him here. "

"I want to brief him about Ran's mission," Omi said, almost petulantly. "I can do that, at least."

"Omi, he's not ready for that," Schuldig said with surprising gentleness. "Ken can give him the relevant details. The sooner you finish up in Canberra, the sooner you can go over and give Ran back up."

"I suppose you're right. I'll catch the late flight tonight." He smiled at them ruefully. "This wasn't how I imagined this would go. I thought he would come back and it would all just fall into place."

"I hope it will, whatever Ken thinks."

"You hope," Ken couldn't resist saying.

"Do you blame me for this, Ken? You looking for the scapegoat already?" Schuldig seemed ready for a physical confrontation. Ken supposed he should be flattered the man had finally forgotten he was in a wheelchair.

"Back. Off." This was Louise. "I'm not listening to this crap again," she said firmly. "At the moment, I'm more worried about his physical health. Considering what's happened to him, his mental state seems pretty good."

"Only because you can't read his mind," Schuldig said grimly.

"Then stop reading his mind, Schu," she said. "You know what, I think you should go back to Canberra too. All of you, you too, Ken. You got to give the poor guy a chance to catch his breath. He's not feeling well, he's in pain, he's tired and he's got all of us watching him to see if his memory has suddenly come back – how do you suppose he feels when he knows how disappointed we all are? I know someone has to be here, but I can't see the point of you both torturing yourselves."

She folded her arms, clearly expecting them to take her seriously and listen, which they did. "Schu, other than worrying, are you doing anything directly to his mind?" Ken asked. "Do you need to be here? Or listening to him?"

"I'm not leaving him!" Schuldig glared at him.

"You're not. You're giving him space. You can be back here in five hours if he needs you – if any of us do. Lou, maybe I should go too."

She regarded him sadly. "Well, hon, it's up to you. I don't mean you to all run away and leave Yohji on his own, or just with me, but can you be patient with him?"

"I think so. Schu, Omi – I really think she might be right."

"I'm not leaving him, Ken, and that’s final," Schuldig said firmly. "I've been separated from him for over three months, Ran's away, and I promised Ran I would look after him. Even if I can only do that from a distance. Omi can leave – I agree that's a good idea."

"Fine. Ken, keep me informed. Schuldig – Ken's in charge." Omi raised his hand at Schuldig's nascent protest. "No – I'm serious. Louise is right – Yohji needs space and time. Give him a few days, let him set the pace. If you can't – then you need to come away with me now. Can you?"

Schuldig nodded and then stood up. "He's coming – the taxi is close. I'll be upstairs, Omi." He left quickly.

Omi stayed. "Ken, could you turn your implant on until I leave? That way I can't possibly pass emotions back to him."

Louise hastened to the bedroom to find Ken's controller and he turned it on only a second before the front door opened and Yohji stepped through it, looking very tired and in obvious pain. "Yohji!" Omi exclaimed, going to help his taller friend over to the couch.

"Louise, his pills are on the counter," Ken said quietly as he wheeled over to Yohji. "Did they push you too hard, Yohji?"

Yohji looked at him with weary eyes. "How would I know, Ken? Could you all just back off for a minute? I'm not dying and you're freaking me out."

Omi immediately retreated to the furthest chair. Ken stayed where he was, but remained quiet, letting Yohji ease himself a little onto the sofa. "The muscle relaxants would help," he said eventually.

Yohji shook his head. "Not now. Maybe to help me sleep. The guy said the ibuprofen was good, if you have any."

"Lou?"

"I'll get it."

Yohji looked so old, Ken thought, hunched in the chair, his eyes hooded and his expression guarded. Ran or Schuldig would just give him a hug right now, but Ken felt awkward with this incarnation of Yohji, not sure of his welcome. "Omi, why don't you make some tea?"

Omi obeyed instantly, probably glad of something practical to do. Ken turned back to Yohji. "So, did they give you exercises to do? Do they want you back every day?"

"Every couple of days, and yeah, I have to squeeze a ball and a few other things."

Ken could see that Yohji was in serious pain, and ibuprofen probably wasn't going to cut it, but he offered it to his friend anyway. "You should eat with those. You haven't had much all day. Want a sandwich?"

He could tell Yohji was about to refuse, but then he nodded. "Okay – but nothing heavy, I'm not really hungry."

Probably the pain, Ken thought. He looked at Omi, who nodded and opened the fridge, ready to get onto the task. Yohji laid his head back and closed his eyes, the lines around them sharp and almost painful looking. Louise indicated quietly that she was heading up – probably to see Schuldig and let him know how Yohji was. Omi was occupied in the kitchen. Ken just watched Yohji rest, wishing he could ease the tension he saw in his face.

In a few minutes, Omi had brought a tray over with tea and a plate of sandwiches for Yohji. "Just ham and a little mustard," he said to Yohji.

"That's my favourite."

"Yes, I know, Yotan." Omi smiled at Yohji who seemed unsettled by his attention. "Yohji, I have to go back to Canberra this evening. I'll be back next week."

"What about Schuldig?"

"He'll stay here for now, but if I need him down there, I'll ask him to join me. Ken and Louise will hold on here until you can manage on your own. Is that okay?"

Yohji picked up one of the sandwiches. "I can manage on my own now. I've had worse."

"Yes, you have, but we don't live like that any more, Yohji. You don't need to suffer without help. None of us do."

Ken threw his two cents in. "You were the one who helped us understand that, Yohji."

"Me?" The sandwich hovered en route to Yohji's mouth, clearly forgotten. "I'm nothing special."

"I hope you remember soon how wrong you are," Omi said gently. "I hope you don't mind me leaving. It's only for a few days. I... I find it hard to do so. I missed you, Yohji."

"So everyone keeps saying," Yohji said, setting his sandwich down with a grimace. Great, Ken thought, rob the guy of his appetite completely. "I remember you – in the shop. Going to school." He smiled briefly. "You haven't grown much."

"Only compared to you, Yohji," Omi said with a grin, which was probably faked but it looked sincere.

"I still don't get how you went from that to being the boss of ... this... whatever this is now. We're still Weiss? Andy kept talking about Weiss. But where's Persia and Manx?"

"That's a long story too," Ken said.

"You keep saying that – makes me think I'm gonna run across some unexploded bombs in my head."

"Yohji," Omi said. "We had some really hard times. You had some bad things happen to you. But whatever it feels like, remember – it's now the past. You need to remember, and then you will need to learn how to forget some of it, or let it lie. It's not going to be easy."

"I just have a hard time believing I agreed to this," Yohji said grimly. "Schuldig going to hide out from me forever? Does he have a guilty conscience or something?"

"Yohji!" Omi snapped. "I am the one to blame. I suggested it, I planned it, I authorised it, and I more or less made Schuldig do it – with your consent, certainly, but still, I am the one you should be angry with."

Yohji cocked his head. "But, Omittchi, I know you and I don't know him. I know you wouldn’t hurt me – I don't know he wouldn't."

"Then believe it, Yohji," Ken interjected. "Schuldig would never, ever hurt you willingly. He would poke his own eye out to avoid it."

"It's weird this guy cares about me so much and I know nothing about him. It’s like having a stalker or something."

Ken sighed. In a few days, Yohji was going to feel such a dickhead, but there didn't seem a lot of point of arguing about it now. "Omi, you better check the flight availability. Yohji, you really should finish those sandwiches, or you'll get heartburn. Maybe afterwards you could have a hot bath, help soak some of the pain away."

"Now that sounds like a plan," Yohji said with the first trace of enthusiasm since he'd walked in. "Are you going right now?" This was to Omi.

"Yes, I'd better." Omi leaned forward and touched Yohji's knee. "Please, give yourself time, Yohji. Give us time too. We all care about you very much."

Yohji managed a slight smile. "Yeah, I can tell. Go on, squirt, when I see you next, I'll be a lot more like the friend you missed. I hope."

"Oh, Yohji," Omi said quietly, startling Yohji by leaning further forward and putting his arms around him carefully. "I don't care if you never remember anything else. You'll always be my friend."

"Hey, Omittchi, don't go all mushy on me," Yohji said gently, clearly nonplussed but not wanting to hurt his friend. "When did Weiss turn into a quilting club?"

Ken almost laughed. This was the touchiest, feeliest member of Weiss, complaining about someone else getting touchy-feely with him. "If I told you, you'd never believe it," he said dryly, nudging Omi. "Flight?"

Omi let Yohji go and stood up. "Yes. Well, good luck, Yohji and I'll see you next week. Ken will brief you on a few things, bring you up to date. And you can call me or email me any time."

Yohji waved a negligent hand. "Sure, Omi. Now, off you go. Don't be late because of me."

Ken didn't need Omi's empathy to sense his hurt at this dismissal, but Omi smiled politely and left the two of them alone. Yohji seemed absorbed in slowly eating his food, and Ken didn't want to dissuade him, so he poured out tea for both of them and sipped his as he watched Yohji. The man in front of him was an odd mixture of old and new Yohji. The careless mask, wanting to keep everyone out, hiding his pain – that was old Yohji. But the rawness, the sensitivity to people's pain even though he was helpless to do anything about it, was more the man who had got them through the worst times after Kritiker had been destroyed. Unfortunately, the whole was rather less than the sum of its parts, as this Yohji seemed much more vulnerable than either old or new versions. He found himself half-wishing Yohji would hurry up and remember how much he cared for Schuldig, so the German could help Yohji with the burden of his returning memories, and wanting Schuldig to be a thousand kilometres away, so Yohji couldn't hurt himself or Schuldig with his careless attitude to someone who was a stranger. At least Schuldig hadn't heard what Yohji had said just now. That was one blessing.

Yohji took his time eating and Ken hoped that now the habit of food had been re-established, it might be possible to tempt him back into a regular routine – he had always been rather neglectful of his diet, which was unfortunate because he had a fast metabolism and could not afford to skip meals. He'd been getting better about such things since he and Ran had got their relationship sorted out – he'd had even put on a tiny amount of weight, which suited him. All that weight and more was now gone. Yohji was verging towards gaunt, and it worried Ken. He made a mental note to stock up on sports drinks and to urge Yohji to drink them. Ran would murder them all if Yohji got ill.

Yohji stretched and winced. "That bath sounds good. But I didn't see one in the bathroom I was using."

"No, it's in the other apartment. Let me show you."

Yohji stood. "Other apartment?"

"We have two. Long...."

"Story, yeah, yeah. Lead on."

Ken paused only long enough to get the cling film from their kitchen, which he explained to Yohji could be used to make a sling to support his arm in the bath. While the water was running, Yohji stripped to the waist and let Ken make the sling. Ken was quietly shocked by the extent and depth of Yohji's bruising and vowed to insist on Yohji taking the muscle relaxants before he went to sleep – or the man would not rest at all.

"Pretty spectacular, huh," Yohji said wryly, seeing where Ken's eyes had drifted.

"Nah, you're too skinny for that," Ken retorted and Yohji grinned. "I'll bring you some clean clothes – do you need help? Scrub your back? I could send Louise in if you prefer."

Yohji coloured. "Er... no. Ken, she's your wife – your pregnant wife."

"She's also a qualified first-aider and seen any number of male backsides in her life, and you're in no position to bother her. But I can hang around if you want – you're not moving too good there."

"I'll be fine. Leave me alone, Ken. If I'm not out in an hour, come find me."

Ken pinned him with a severe look. "Half an hour. I don't want you falling asleep in the bath and drowning."

Yohji, who was in the process of slipping off his jeans, paused to stare at him. "I definitely don't remember you being so maternal, Ken. Is this a new thing?"

"I caught it from a certain Kudoh Yohji," Ken said with a grin. "You're the group mother hen."

"Huh." Yohji seemed perplexed, but then he shrugged. "Oh well. I'll be fine – um, except for toiletries." He looked around. " I guess I can borrow these?"

"Anything you like, but I'll bring your bag in with the clothes in a few minutes. "

Yohji smirked. "Just aching to catch sight of my naked bod, eh, KenKen?"

Ken made a gagging noise, restraining himself from commenting that Schuldig was more likely to want that, and was secretly pleased at the nick name. "What can I say, Yohji? Louise has spoiled me for anyone else." He heaved a sigh. "And to think we once had those wonderful moments together...."

He began to wheel out of the room. "What wonderful moments?" Yohji squawked, right on cue.

"It'll come back to you," he said evilly and made his escape. Yohji could stew on it for half an hour – or longer. It felt good to tease him again.

Chapter Text

There were precious few moments of light relief over the next few days. It was painful, watching Yohji struggle both with his physical injuries and the return of his memories. He said little, listlessly letting Ken or Louise bully him into eating, but spending most of his time out in the garden or on the roof, smoking – not quite as much as Ken feared, almost as if he was trying to cut down – and mired in his thoughts. He went back to the physiotherapist and seemed to be following the exercises adequately, but made no comment on his recovery other than to refuse the muscle relaxants, a move Ken was sure was hindering his healing but which he could not successfully argue against.

The only time Yohji had appeared interested in anything at all was when Ken briefed him about Ran's mission, and what Weiss was doing now. He'd offered no comment when Ken complimented him on how his own mission had advanced the fight against Estet. In fact, his last mission was something he just didn't want to talk about at all. If it weren't for Jensen, they would know nothing of that last cataclysmic battle with Kwan, the sabotaging of the detailed plan to blow up the Indonesian parliament, and the destruction of several key terrorist cells. Given Jensen's taciturnity, Ken knew they were still missing a lot of details which may be of no security importance but which may have given them a clue as to what was disturbing Yohji. Li Kwan had died, and Yohji was suffering. That was pretty much all Ken knew.

Schuldig probably knew a little more, but he wasn't saying much. Ken went to see him each day to keep him informed – Ken had insisted on keeping his implant on and after a little obligatory arguing, Schuldig agreed. Ken felt it was just unnecessary for Schuldig to torture himself – he likened it to when Schuldig had the flu. It would be a week or so of misery and after that, things would be better. Rather to his surprise, Schuldig agreed with that too. For all that, he was taking all of it rather hard, and Ken ached for his friends' unhappiness. Although he'd been pleased that Ran had found something that would keep him meaningfully occupied, it had turned out to be badly timed – not that anyone could have really predicted it. Ken just hoped Ran would come home soon or that Yohji would recover his memories quickly.

Louise was busy running her Canberra office from Brisbane, although as Omi had planned, she was training up her successor not to just take over from her on her maternity leave, but to free her up for other Weiss activities. Omi didn't want any of them permanently involved in ASIO bureaucracy and he wanted to extract Schuldig from the implant programme as soon as he could – both for his own reasons and, he'd confided to Ken, because ASIO remained ambivalent about Schuldig and would prefer not to rely on him.

Ken was, ironically, the most problematic member of Weiss now. Getting permission for him to return to Brisbane for the two weeks of Yohji's recovery had been difficult, but he would have refused to go back to Canberra before Yohji was ready to do so, which he patently was not. But the programme to build the null field generators had had to be adjusted and Omi, he knew, was fielding unhappy rumblings. Ken got the impression that Omi was being pressured to split Weiss up and send its members to different parts of ASIO as they were needed. What would become of Schuldig in that case, Ken didn't know – but Omi was adamant it would not be allowed to happen. What Faustian deals Omi was making behinds the scenes, he wasn't letting on.

But that lay ahead. Ken concentrated on his two jobs – gathering and analysing reports, and watching Yohji suffer. It became clear as the week progressed that Yohji was feeling a little cooped up, so when Saturday came around, Ken suggested that the three of them go up to Lone Pine, knowing it was a place Yohji loved, and which he hoped might trigger more pleasant memories than the ones torturing him.

Yohji was confused. "You want to take me to a zoo?"

"It's not a zoo – it's an animal sanctuary," Ken explained.

He dismissed the distinction with a wave of his hand. "Zoo, sanctuary – why?"

"Because you'll enjoy it, Yohji. It's something you and Ran do all the time."

"Ay-Ran? He never used to care about stuff like that." Ken had had to remind Yohji more than once that 'Aya' was Ran, but for some reason, the reminders just weren't taking.

"Well, now he does, and so do you. Didn't you see all the DVDs in your flat?"

"No," Yohji said absently. He rubbed his forehead. "Look, maybe you two could go...."

"No, the point is for you to go with us, Yohji," Ken explained patiently, feeling he was getting practice for when his kid learned to talk.

"Yohji, it's really nice," Louise said gently. "And it's out of the flat, out in the open air. I could do with a break too."

That seemed to convince Yohji. "Okay, if you'd like to. So long as we can take it slow – I can't walk all that fast right now."

Ken banged the arm rest on his chair. "I'm not going to be running any races any time soon, Yotan."

"Shit, Ken, I didn't mean...."

"Can it, Yohji, I'm kidding. We can take it easy, that's not a problem."

The day was hot, the February weather nearly as warm as it had been at Christmas when they'd had a week-long heat wave. Despite the heat, Yohji was conservatively dressed, uncharacteristically covering his arms and legs. Ken figured he was trying to spare Louise – and strangers – the sight of his hideously bruised body. He was still moving awkwardly, but declining all decent pain relief, which struck Ken as either dumb or penitential. He'd not really ever pegged Yohji as either. He hoped Yohji got over it soon.

The sanctuary was busy even though they had left early, but Ken took advantage of his disabled car badge and got them a good parking space. Yohji looked around curiously. "I was thinking it would be like Singapore Zoo," he said.

"No, nothing like that," Louise said.

"I didn't know you'd been there," Yohji said as they walked to the entrance, where Ken shamelessly used Ran's pass for himself, leaving Louise to pay only for her entry.

"It's not that far – I've been a couple of times. Bloody hot, but the zoo's nice. Great shopping, if you like that kind of thing," she said, pulling a face. Ken smiled. Louise did not like shopping, something they had in common.

"I suppose. I didn't really do much of that," Yohji said. "Hey, koalas!" He stopped dead in front of an enclosure close to the ticket barrier.

"Well, duh, Yohji," Ken said, grinning. "That's why they call it a koala sanctuary."

"Yeah – but right here! Wow!"

Louise looked at Ken and hid her mouth. Ken knew she was either grinning or biting her tongue. "Come on, there's a lot more than this to see."

Even though Yohji couldn't remember his recently acquired lust for all things native and Australian, he was clearly fascinated by all that they saw. Ken, for his part, was just pleased to have offered him some distraction from his misery, and it was also nice to spend a bit of quiet time with Louise. It had been a hectic, stressful week, and he was conscious that once the baby was born, such quiet times would be rare and precious. At least her morning sickness was settling down – the technique of lying quietly, having a little to eat before she got up and trying to keep stress in the morning down to the minimum seemed to be having an effect. Ken was less besotted with wildlife than Yohji was, but he liked being outdoors, being with his friend and his best girl. Things could be worse.

They did indeed take it slowly, lots of rests for Yohji, taking the long paths carefully both for Ken and Yohji's sake. Yohji wandered off on his own several times, staring off into space, and somehow, Ken doubted he was really watching the animals all of that time. He even suspected that if they came closer, he might see tears on Yohji's face, the way he'd done when he'd come out to the garden the previous day, before Yohji had hastily wiped them off his cheeks and had engaged Ken in a brisk, brittle conversation about nothing important. It had been classic Yohji deflection.

Not that Ken wanted to embarrass his friend or intrude on his pain, so he and Louise just let Yohji be, keeping him in their line of sight, but not imposing their company. "Poor guy," Louise said quietly as they sat down on a bench in the large kangaroo enclosure. "How much longer do you reckon it's going to take?"

A wallaby came up to see what food Louise had in her lap and she fed it some corn from her hand. Ken regretted he'd not brought his camera, but he'd not wanted to make Yohji feel awkward, which it might have done if he'd felt Ken was taking photos of him. Still, it would have made a cute picture. "Schu said at least another week. He hasn't even remembered about Ran's sister yet, so far as I know. He's not saying much."

"No," she said slowly. "I'm worried, Ken. He's so unhappy and so much not like the guy I knew."

"I've seen him like this before," Ken said. Yohji had now stood up and wandered over to look at the cluster of big red kangaroos on the far side of the enclosure. "When... someone close to him died. It was a real rough time for him. Even Ran couldn't really reach him."

Louise started to play with the hair on the back of Ken's head. "But he got over it, right?"

"Kinda. He doesn't really talk about it."

"You guys have a lot of secrets, don't you?"

"I suppose we do, hon. Just remember none of us ever expected to live this long, and it'll tell you something of what it was like before we came to Australia."

It wasn't the first time he'd said it to her, and she only nodded, before looking at her watch. "We've been here hours, Ken. Don't you think he's probably had enough?"

Ken looked over at Yohji – he was still watching the kangaroos. From this distance, his expression was unreadable. "Want to see if he's ready to go? We could buy lunch."

"Here? It's a madhouse. No, it'd be better to go back to the flat. Let me go talk to him. I can always play up the poor pregnant girly act."

Ken grinned. Louise was about as disabled as the grey kangaroo that was shooting across the paddock at a huge rate. "Whatever works – I'm no good at feminine wiles myself."

She bent and kissed him. "Too right," she said with a broad smile and then walked off over to Yohji.

Ken assumed it would be fairly easy to convince Yohji to leave, but to his alarm, Yohji turned his back on Louise so she had to walk around to see him. Now Ken could only really see Yohji's back, but he thought he saw Louise's hand move towards Yohji's face, and then he saw her arms go around Yohji who let her hug him for what seemed a very long time. Ken hadn't realised Yohji was that distressed or he wouldn’t have left him alone for quite so long – it was so damn hard to judge what was going on. He was sure Yohji would never have accepted a hug from him.

Patiently he waited. Louise let Yohji go, but she was still talking to him with her hand on his arm. Finally, she put her arm through his and they began to walk slowly back to Ken, Yohji making a quick wipe of his face with his handkerchief which could have passed for removing sweat, but which, Ken was sure, was not. By the time they got back to him, Yohji had composed himself. "Ready to go?" he said with a cheerful grin. "Louise says she's hungry and since she's eating for two...."

"Don't let her give you that – she ate that way even before she got pregnant."

"Ken, you bastard!" she yelped. "Next thing you'll be saying I'm fat!"

Yohji took her arm and made her turn around so he could see her butt. "No, you have a perfect figure, Louise. Healthy and well-shaped."

"With good sturdy child-bearing hips," Ken couldn't resist adding as a wind-up, which earning him a smack on the arm.

"Leave him and come away with me, my dear. I'll treat you right," Yohji said gallantly.

She giggled. "That's what Schu's always saying to me," she said with a grin,

Yohji's expression changed immediately. "Ah. Okay. So how do we get out? There's a sign." He walked away, a little too fast for Ken to match even if he'd already been moving, and within a few seconds, Yohji had disappeared up the path.

"What the hell did I say?" Louise said, completely confused by their companion's sudden mood change.

"I think I know now where he's got up to in his memories," Ken said grimly.

When they got out to the car park, Yohji was leaning against the car, puffing on a cigarette. When he spotted Ken and Louise, he walked over to a rubbish bin and stubbed the cancer stick out in the ashtray on the rim. "Hey. Just wanted a smoke and I didn’t want to breathe crap all over you," he said apologetically to Louise.

Ken was completely unconvinced but if Yohji wanted to pretend he was fine, Ken would let him. That's the only way Weiss had survived during the early years – ignoring their own and other's pain. He couldn't be completely callous, but he could respect the act as long as Yohji wanted them to.

They stopped in Indooroopilly to get some fresh fish and vegetables to cook for lunch and then drove back to the apartments. Yohji was clearly drooping with tiredness and Ken thought Louise had called it right when she'd said he'd had enough. With any luck, Ken could persuade him to rest after lunch and give his body the chance to heal.

He pulled into the car park and Louise got out. "Oh hi, Schu," he heard her say. Immediately, he looked at Yohji, who was climbing out of the car. His expression was hard as stone – he'd spotted Schuldig as well.

"Shit," Ken swore quietly, cursing the bad timing and struggling to get his chair out of the car so he could break up the impending fight. But he was too slow. As Schuldig approached, a wary, polite expression on his face, Yohji went straight up to him, and pushed him backward with a hand planted in the middle of his chest. "You – you Schwarz. How did you fool everyone? How did you get in with us? Do they know who you are?" Yohji turned to Ken. "Don't you realise what this bastard is?"

"Yohji, back off! Yes, we know. Schu, please, just go, I'll handle...."

Yohji's green eyes flashed with rare fury. "Handle what, Ken? Me? Him? This fucker killed Omi's sister! He tried to kill Aya – he let Hirofumi half kill Omi, and you say he's my fucking lover? I'd rather sleep with the dead – at least the stink would be honest. How the fuck did you work it, Schwarz?"

Schuldig's face was a mask of pure misery but he made no attempt to retaliate for the shoving or to defend his name. Louise's head whipped between Yohji, Schuldig and Ken. "Omi's...sister?"

Yohji sneered. "Didn't you tell her, Ken? What else didn't you tell her about our German psycho here? Did he tell you about the people that burned to death? Did he tell about their pet knife licker that killed his family and then went on to kill for Estet? Schwarz's killer on a leash? Did he, Louise?"

"Yohji, that's enough," Ken bellowed as Louise backed away slightly from them all. "We know all about this shit, okay? So did you. You're not remembering everything that's important...."

Yohji stepped towards him. "Yeah, like what, Ken? I remember Asuka. I remember having to kill her again. I remember Schreiend, and I sure as hell remember you," he yelled, turning suddenly and throwing a punch at Schuldig who made no effort to avoid it, flying back across the ground to end up against a support pillar. "You get the fuck away from my friends, you animal, or I'll fucking shoot you myself."

Schuldig pulled himself up and put his hand over his bruised jaw, but all he did was stare up at Yohji with miserable, guilty eyes and made no attempt to deny Yohji's accusations. When it looked like Yohji was going to attack him where he lay, Ken gave his wheelchair an enormous shove and forced himself between the two other men. "Back off, Yohji. Hit him again and you'll answer to me."

Yohji stood with his fist raised. "You're protecting this bastard? Why?"

"Because he's a friend and a team mate, and he loves you. Man, you are going to hate yourself in a few days, you really are."

"He's Schwarz!"

"No, he's Weiss now. Just leave him alone."

Thin-lipped with anger, Yohji pointed an accusing finger at Schuldig. "I'm going to get you away from my people, I swear, if I have to kill you in your sleep."

"Yohji, get out of here," Louise suddenly said, stepping in front of him. "No one is killing anyone, and Ken's right – you're wrong. You're so very wrong. Just go into the flat and we'll make your lunch."

Yohji looked her up and down. "I'm not hungry. I'd vomit if I had to eat when he was around."

"Then vomit somewhere else," she yelled, as angry as Ken had ever seen her, "but get out of here now."

"I thought you were a smart woman, Louise."

"And I thought you were a friend, Yohji. Just leave."

Yohji turned on his heel and limped away without looking back. Louise and Ken didn’t move until they heard the door to the stairwell bang – Yohji was clearly heading to the roof – and then Louise crouched down beside Schuldig. "Let me look at that," she said gently, touching his jaw where a dark mark was already visible.

Schuldig brushed her hand away carefully. "I'm not worth your time, Louise. Why don't you go after your friend?"

His eyes were damp-looking and his face was red, and Ken knew he was a second from losing all dignity. So, apparently, did Louise, who ignored his attempts to make her go away and just wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. "Oh, Schu, honey," she murmured.

Ken let Schuldig bury his anguish quietly against his wife's shoulder. He couldn't imagine how awful Schuldig must feel, even with suspecting something like this may happen. They'd all hoped that if they could keep Schuldig and Yohji apart long enough, Yohji would reach the point when he would remember how Schuldig had entered their lives – but it hadn't worked out that way and now all they could do was try and fix the mess.

Louise rocked Schuldig a little, like she might do a crying child, which in other circumstances would have amused Ken with the irony of her soothing one of the most deadly people he had ever known, but now just made him glad his wife could give Schuldig a little comfort.

But in too short a time, Schuldig pushed away from Louise. "Please go away, my dear. Yohji needs you."

"Tough, because you need us more," Ken said firmly. "You know he's going to be sorry in a few days."

Schuldig looked up at him with reddened eyes. "I know nothing of the sort, Ken. For all I know, being reminded of who and what I was – who I am," he said, looking seriously at Louise, "will make him realise what a mistake he made. Yes, it's true, you know. I killed Omi's sister – at least, I helped."

She couldn't hide her shock. "Why?"

"I was trying to kill him. Still want to sit so close, Louise?"

She didn't move a centimetre. "But why, Schu? Why did you want to kill Omi?"

Ken answered that one. "We were on opposite sides, Lou. We were trying to kill them too, most of the time." He decided truth was better than preserving the discretion they'd exercised

Schuldig shook his head. "There is no equivalence, Ken, and you know it. We enjoyed what we did – I liked killing."

"And so did I, Schuldig," Ken said tightly, hoping Louise was half the person he thought she was. She looked shocked – but she wasn't getting up to leave. Good. But they would have to talk later. "You killed for money, we killed for Kritiker. But we killed, and sometimes I liked it – I liked taking the bad guys down, and I liked having the power of life and death. Yohji was right when he said it was just as well I couldn't do that any more. I'd be crazier than Farfarello by now." Louise stared at him but as he waited for her to communicate her revulsion, all she did was cock her head and soften her expression, as if she was telling him not to worry that she would reject him for this.

"Possibly," Schuldig said quietly, trying to stand up and letting Louise help him. "I'll be okay," he said, his tone and his face making an absolute liar of him.

"Maybe," Ken said. "But we're still going back to your flat and making lunch for you and neither of us are leaving until we're sure you're not going to do something stupid." He risked a glance at his wife. "Lou?"

"Of course," she said in a firm, don't-argue-with-me tone. "We can feed Yohji when he calms down. Will he calm down?" Only now did she seem uncertain.

"I'll deal with him – I've done it before," Ken said. "Schu, we're having fish. Hope you like snapper."

"You don't need to do this...."

"Yes, we do." He fixed Schuldig with a steely look. "Don't argue with me, Schuldig. I've got a loaded woman."

That made Schuldig give out a startled laugh. "Schatzi, do you let him get away with things like that?"

"Well, only when it's true," she said kindly, taking his arm. "Come on, hon, you need ice on that."

It was hardly surprising that Schuldig wasn't very talkative as they cooked a meal around him, and it was clear Louise was still mulling over the startling revelations she'd heard about both friend and husband, so lunch was a quiet affair. As they cleared up, Ken took the bull by the horns. "Schuldig, you are not to let this get you down, okay? When Yohji remembers, he'll remember all of it. And Ran will explain things – don't forget him and don't forget how it would hurt him if anything happened to you." Schuldig didn't seem the suicidal type but he was so very hurt by this, and in such obvious despair at being rejected by the man he honestly and devotedly loved, that Ken wasn't going to take any risks.

"Ran has Yohji," Schuldig muttered, accepting the tea Louise made for him but not drinking it.

"Ran loves you, Schuldig. He said so in front of all of us. You think a guy like that says something like that lightly? Do you know how long it was before he admitted to me and Omi how he felt about Yohji? Do you think a guy like Ran would have taken you into his relationship with Yohji if he wasn't very, very sure that he knew how he felt about you?"

Schuldig stared at him briefly, then looked down at his mug. "When he sees what's happened to Yohji, he won't forgive me."

"Bull. Shit," Ken said emphatically.

"Yeah, that's a total load of crap," Louise added, rather to Ken's surprise. "Why should he blame you when you were the one who didn't want to do it? If he's going to be cranky with anyone, it'll be Omi – but Yohji agreed to this, Schu. And you're assuming Yohji's not going to get any better when you said yourself it would be at least a week before he got the rest of his memory left, so I think you're being a bit unreasonable."

He looked at her. "Why are you sitting here, Louise? Why don't I make you sick?"

She coloured. "I...I trust Ken, and he likes you. I like you. Schu, I don't know the whole story, but if four good men like these ones accept you when they know the facts, I don't see I've got any right to make snap judgements. I'm not saying I'm not shocked – I am. I'm not saying I'm not horrified – I am. But I trust my husband's judgement, I trust Yohji and Ran and I trust Omi. All of them accept and like you." She turned to Ken. "But I think you've been keeping secrets again, Ken."

"Not because we thought you couldn't deal, Lou. It was as much for us as for you."

"Don't blame him, Louise. Weiss have been through hell. As Yohji is just learning, some things need to be put in the past and kept there." He set the mug down on the coffee table and clasped his hands. "I always knew my past would come back to bite me. It's been too easy. I've been living in a fool's paradise." He got up and walked out onto his balcony.

Ken and Louise were left to look at each other. "Love – can you really handle this? Yohji wasn't exaggerating – neither was I. It's all very dark, darker than even I can deal with."

She took his hand. "The way I look at it, Ken – you and Schu were soldiers in a war, on opposite sides. People do ... unconscionable things in war. Dad's father was in Korea – he saw things.... All I'm saying is that I don't think I can really judge you guys when I was sitting here in my nice safe Australian life. Schu was on the wrong side then and he was the bad guy – but he's on the right side now. If we don't let people redeem themselves, then wounds never heal."

Ken thought he would cry. "I knew there was a reason I loved you," he said huskily, pulling her close. "Will you stay and talk to him? Just... let him talk – about anything, everything. If he doesn't want to, then that's okay, I guess, but I think he might say more to you. Say what you just said to me."

She nodded against his shoulder. "You going to talk to Yohji?"

"I guess I better. It'll take a while."

"These poor guys. How can something so wonderful cause so much hurt?"

"I don't really know, Lou." He kissed her and rested his forehead against hers for a moment. "Go on. But don't let him try and browbeat you, it's what he does when he thinks he's on the back foot."

"Ken, I've been handling bolshy men since I was five. Schu's nothing."

He laughed and sat up. "See you back in the flat."

Before he left, he stole two beers from Schuldig's fridge – he had a feeling he was going to be engaged in thirsty work before long.

The afternoon was blisteringly hot and so Ken knew even a sun lover like Yohji would seek the shade. Sure enough, Yohji was sitting under the little shelter. It was still hotter than was comfortable, but Ken could deal with that. "Want a beer?"

Yohji seemed to have to come back from a long way to realise he was there. "What? Sure." He accepted a can and opened it. "Softening me up before you sucker punch me?"

"There's been enough punching, I think. What are you thinking about?"

Yohji rubbed the can across his forehead before sipping from it. "The garden. Somehow I just can't see Aya as a gardener. I thought he hated being a florist."

"He hated retail. He liked the flowers, and I think he thinks gardening is life-affirming or something." Although, actually, that had been Schuldig's observation, not Ken's. "People change, Yohji," he added gently.

Yohji stubbed out his cigarette. "Why didn't you tell me, Ken?"

"I tried to, Yohji, but it's complicated. You're seeing about a quarter of the picture and that's why you're all fucked up about it."

"Well, then. We've got a couple of choices. You can tell me the rest of the facts and I can try to understand how I ended up sleeping with the enemy, or I go down there with my gun and my wire and I wipe that stain off the face of the earth."

Such viciousness was so atypical for Yohji that it left Ken momentarily lost for words. "You... could just wait. Wait for the memories to come back."

"I can't live with it, Ken. My gut wants to turn inside out with disgust at myself – I hate myself more than I hate him. I don't know how I can look Aya in the face again."

"It's okay, Yohji – Ran's in love with Schuldig too."

Yohji dropped the can of beer and it fell to the ground, spilling its foamy liquid on the ground. Ken silently handed Yohji his own drink, then bent and picked up the dropped one, setting it upright. "Aya...no.... No, he would never... Ken, you said I had two... not that Aya... gods...."

"Yohji, take a drink, just catch your breath okay? I know it sounds incredible, but it's not really."

Yohji's hand was shaking as he raised the beer to his lips, but he lowered it again without drinking. "I want to be sick," he muttered.

He was probably in shock, Ken realised. "Look, if I explain, will you listen and try not to pitch a hissy fit before I'm done?"

Yohji stared at him and then nodded. "I owe you the right to try, I guess."

"You're not looking real good – you want to do this downstairs?" Ken had to bear in mind his friend was far from well.

"No, I'm okay. And I'm listening."

"Okay. How much do you remember? The temple? The elders?"

"Yeah – fighting Schwarz and Aya's sister waking up. She... went to nursing school? Did she graduate?"

"No, I'm afraid not." Ken started at the beginning, right from when they'd last seen Schwarz as the temple of the Elders was destroyed. He explained how, for an all too brief period, their lives had attained something like normality – how, for that brief period, Ran had seemed so happy with Yohji and was beginning to regain a life of his own – before things had all gone so devastatingly wrong and their existence had been turned upside down. Yohji listened in silence, pale-cheeked and with sorrowful eyes. For him, the loss of Aya-chan was fresh and Ken knew he was grieving for that, as well as his lover's pain, years old though it was now, but not to him. Ken wondered how much Yohji was remembering as he spoke – but decided not to ask just now.

"And then you guys went on this mission and found Schuldig," Ken continued, describing how they had rescued their German enemy intending to exploit him and dispose of him. Instead, Schuldig had stayed, gaining their trust and their friendship, saving Ran's life and Yohji's, saving Omi and helping them all.

Yohji stayed quiet for some time after Ken's long story ended, his eyes closed, still to the point where Ken wondered if he'd simply fallen asleep. But finally he spoke. "Schuldig is a telepath. He can make people do what he wants. How do you know – how do I know – he's not making you say all this, to believe it? How do I know he didn't force me and Aya to sleep with him?"

It was a reasonable question, but to someone who'd watched the torturous progress of Schuldig's relationship with the two men he'd fallen for and never thought to win, it was very amusing, and so he laughed, to Yohji's obvious surprise. "Yotan, if he used his powers on you over this, either he's the world's most incompetent paranormal, or he's a total masochist." He explained how Schuldig had had to be persuaded to accept a threesome with the others – something Yohji himself had confided in a slightly drunken moment – and how Schuldig had been prepared to keep his love unrequited if it made Yohji and Ran happy.

"It sounds like a bloody romance novel," Yohji said dryly.

"Yeah, Omi keeps threatening to publish the story under a pen name and retire on the movie rights," Ken said which raised the briefest of smiles from his friend. "Yohji, I know what Schuldig was. He doesn't pretend or hide it, and he's the first one to warn us not to forget it. But he's a comrade in arms, he's proved that he's changed, that he's loyal to us. Not once, a dozen times – you might think he escaped punishment for his crimes, but you didn't really think that when you'd seen what Estet did to him. You were the one who showed us there was a human being behind the smirk. You made Ran see the shades of grey. And you were right to do that. We owe him a lot – ASIO owes him a lot. The fact you got through that mission safely, you owe to him. He didn’t want to do it to you – he knew that you could end up hating him just the way you are doing now. I want you to prove he's wrong."

"I can't, Ken. I don't think you're lying – it's just that... it's like reading a book. It's not real."

Yohji rubbed absently at his injured shoulder. It had been many hours since he'd taken anything for it, and Ken knew he had to be hurting. "But it will be when you remember," he said gently. "Please, give him some time, give us all time."

Yohji nodded a little but then stared out at the garden. "I miss him, Ken," he said sadly.

Ken knew which 'him' he meant. "I know. I know this is overwhelming. Just trust us, Yohji. We never let you down before."

"I know, Ken. I just...I just want to stop feeling like my world is balanced on a knife edge. I've felt two seconds from outright insanity for months now. Do you know what that's like? Feeling you're about to go mad, and there's nothing you can cling to, to stop it?"

"Yeah, Yohji, I do," Ken said with feeling. "But I did have something to cling to. Someone."

Yohji looked at him curiously. "Louise?"

"No – you. So let me do the same for you. You're not going crazy. I know I'm not Ran. But I'm here, and I'll listen." He wheeled himself a little closer. "No one expects you to do this alone."

"I think I have to, Ken." He stood up and picked up the other beer can. "I... I think I might move back to my apartment this evening. It's not that you two haven't been really kind, but I need some time to think."

"But you can't cook for yourself, Yohji. You're still injured."

Yohji considered. "I can microwave meals and I'm not helpless. Please, Ken – I just need to be alone for a few days."

Louise would kill him if he didn’t try to argue this, Ken well knew. "Compromise? Come to dinner with us and we'll leave you alone the rest of the time?"

"How about... every other night?"

Ken shook his head. Yohji just hated revealing his wounds to people. "All right – if you let us stock your fridge and clean up every few days, and if you don't push your body. You're my friend, but you're also on our team, Yohji. You have a responsibility to us and us to you."

Yohji shrugged. "Yeah, whatever, Ken. I don't need you to shop for me. I can order pizza and I can get milk from the corner shop. I can get groceries delivered. If it turns you on to clean my place, then I guess I don't care. But I need time to think."

"At least let us know you're alive, Yohji."

Yohji smiled briefly. "I only live upstairs, Ken. I'm going to walk up to the shops and get some things, food, stuff like that. I can get a taxi back, tip the driver to help me." He started to limp off.

"Yohji, what will I tell Schuldig?"

Yohji turned. "Tell him... tell him that.... Well, fuck, Ken, what the hell can I say?"

"Can I tell him you won't shoot him on sight?"

"Yeah, I guess. And... tell him I heard what you said and I...I'll think about it. Good enough?"

"It'll have to do. Yohji...." But what could he say? "Take it easy, Yotan."

"You too, KenKen." He waved and continued on his way. Ken felt he hadn't really got through to him – but there was a limit to what simple words could do. The rest – for now – was up to Yohji.

Ken watched Yohji go out of the building on the monitors and figured he'd be at least half an hour. Louise was still upstairs, so Ken did some of the work he'd neglected during the week and some minor housework. Sure enough, forty five minutes later, he saw a taxi pull up to the door, and the middle-aged taxi driver helped Yohji from the vehicle before carrying the small amount of shopping up to the second floor. A couple of minutes later, the man drove off.

Ken looked at the clock – Louise had been with Schuldig rather a long time, but then he probably had a lot of things to talk to her about. Ken logged in to read Ran's latest report – he said he was investigating an 'accelerator' course that the college ran for certain selected students, and he wanted Ken or Omi to see if any of the Australian institutes using the Sivasothy method offered this, or if there was any indication that any of the 'polite terrorists' had been on such a course. There was also an oblique message for Yohji welcoming him back and sending Ran's love. Ken hoped that would cheer Yohji up a little.

The intercom bleeped. "Yeah?"

"Ken, Louise needs you. I'm going out."

Schuldig had hung up before Ken had processed all the words and realised what he was asking. "Fuck," Ken swore, wheeling himself out to the lift as fast as he could get there. If Louise had been taken ill and Schuldig was leaving her alone....

The door was unlocked and Ken went straight in. Louise was huddled into the armchair, her face covered but her shaking shoulders made it clear she was crying. Shit, what's that bastard done? he wanted to know as he wrapped his arms around his wife and let her weep on him. He'd never seen her this upset – she wasn't the type, recent hormonal disturbances aside. He stroked her hair and murmured to her, but she was too distraught to be soothed easily. What had happened? Had Schuldig caused this and freaked out?

"Come on, love, tell me what's wrong," he urged gently.

"I can't... Oh, Ken, did he really do all those things? Did he really kill all those people?"

Ken produced his handkerchief and let her wipe her face, but she blew her nose on her own. He didn't let her go as he felt her calm a little, and her breath become less hiccupy. "What did he tell you, Lou?"

"He said... he killed women, and that he helped Estet kill school kids, and, and... Ken, he's a monster! I didn't... how can you stand to live near him?"

She started to cry again, and Ken was furious. Schuldig had no right to do this to her. Ken would fucking murder him when he saw him next. At the very least he was going to be seriously tempted to put a matching bruise on the other side of his jaw. But once again, it was too late to avoid the problem, so all he could do was try to fix the mess. "Love, did he tell you about Rosenkrüs?"

"Estet's training centre?"

"Yeah, but did he tell you about what they did to him?"

"No," she said, wiping her nose. "I don't care now. I just want to get away from him. I thought he was a friend. No wonder Yohji hates him."

Oh, Schuldig, just because you're unhappy, do you have to spread it around? "I can understand that, love. I know it's a shock."

"You knew about this, Ken? All of it?"

She lifted her head to look at him accusingly. "No, I didn't. Because before we got to know Schu, we only knew about the bad things he did. We didn't know why."

"But why, Ken? Why would any one kill like that?" She struggled up so she could face him.

"Well, hon, let me ask you that. Why would he?"

"He said it was for money." She spat the words out in disgust.

"Yeah, he probably did. But I got paid to kill too, you know. And I've killed women."

She shrank back just a tiny bit. "Did you kill for money?"

"No, I killed because I believed it was the only way to get justice, and when I was eighteen, I was declared dead, left without a possession or a friend to my name, and no legal way of surviving. Kritiker offered me a lifeline and a cause, and I accepted because I thought I was doing the right thing. We all did. Now... I know that we were being manipulated. Some of the people we killed maybe shouldn't have died. They could have gone to jail – they should have been tried, not murdered."

"Eighteen?"

"Omi was ten."

She covered her mouth. "Oh my God."

"And Schuldig was nine when he was taken in by Rosenkrüs. You know what Rosenkrüs does – it turns paranormals into killers. It takes children in and teaches them to kill and brainwashes them. But the four of us worked for a man who did exactly the same thing to Omi."

Her dark eyes were huge in a stark white face, and he honestly thought she might be sick or even faint. "Hang on there, Lou. I'm going to get you some tea."

"No... let me," she said, getting shakily to her feet, but he didn't argue with her or try to stop her. If it gave her a break, then so be it.

She prepared the pot in silence – Australian black tea, which was good with milk and sugar – and brought mugs over to the coffee table. Ken insisted she drink some before he continued. "Love, I know Schuldig has done some horrible things. To be fair to him, he's never ever tried to downgrade that, or pass it off as anything but horrible. But he was turned into a killer, he was paid to be a killer – he was rewarded for his behaviour. How many people could resist that?"

"Omi did."

"No, he didn't, Lou. The only difference between Omi and Schu is that Omi was told he was killing for a higher purpose, and Schu knew he wasn't. But if Persia had told Omi to kill the Pope, he probably would have done. Persia raised Omi to kill the man Omi thought was his father, and who was Persia's own brother. Omi killed the men he thought were his brothers. Do you think we should shun Omi?"

"But...."

He could see it was blowing her mind. He took her hand. "You said it yourself, Lou. You trust us, and you trust our judgement. You know, Ran used to feel exactly the way you do, the way Yohji says he does. Does Ran strike you as the kind of guy to change his mind for no reason at all?"

"No," she said in a small voice. "But Ken... killing kids...."

"Love, he was killing kids when he was a kid. He was only twenty two or twenty three even when we knew him. His life up to then had been abuse, Rosenkrüs and then Schwarz." He gave her hand a squeeze. "Ran says that he thinks more of Schuldig being good than he does anyone else – because Schuldig had to teach himself to do it. Until today, did you think Schuldig would ever hurt you? Any of us?"

"No."

"So what's changed? He's the same person."

She lowered her eyes. "No one told me about this."

"No. There's a lot of stuff we didn't tell you, because it's not something that would help. But I can, if you want. Omi will kill me, but he'll kill Schuldig first. I mean... not really kill... you know what I mean."

"Wound you a little?"

He squeezed her hand again, grateful at her attempt to be cheerful. "Yeah, maybe more than a little. Do you want me to tell you the rest?"

"Um. Maybe later. But... I can't forget what he was saying."

"Lou, he meant you not to. Schu does this – he really hates himself sometimes, and he really thinks he should be punished for what's going on with Yohji, so he's driving you away because he thinks he doesn't deserve friendship. He's not really a happy person. Yohji was the one who worked that out. It was Yohji who really offered him a chance to change, and Schu took it. He's never looked back. It must be hard – someone with his powers, he could do whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted. ASIO like to think they can keep him under control – it's a joke, honestly it is. If he cut loose, he could do so much damage, and get very, very rich in the process. But he loves Ran and Yohji and he wants to make them happy."

She took another sip of her tea and wouldn't look at him. "He's like those Nazis living in South America – pretending they never did what they did during the war."

"No, he's not. For a start, he's never pretended anything to us, and ASIO know all about him. And for another, he's more like those child soldiers we saw on TV the other night. Just like Omi. Lou, Schu was abused and tortured and raped. If you live like that, you learn to do what people want or you get more of the same. I saw kids like that in the orphanage. Look, he's no saint. None of us are. He killed for money, but he worked for people who would kill him if he tried to leave the organisation. Look at what they did to him when Schwarz tried to escape. You might think you'd be brave enough to ignore that. I'm not sure I would be."

She put her cup down and hugged herself. "I just feel... like I've lost someone close to me."

"Only if you let him do what he's trying to do, Louise," he urged, feeling her grief and wanting to make sure she didn't lose something important. "I'm not thrilled at him upsetting you. But right now, he's only got us. Yohji still thinks he's a monster, Ran's away, Omi's down south and we can't send Schu down there because his emotions would rub Omi raw. He hasn't got any other friends, no one else he can talk to. I think that's what Rosenkrüs were trying to do, you know. They wanted their paranormals to only be able to turn to them, to others like them. They didn't want their kids making friends with normal people. Schuldig's trying to make a life that Rosenkrüs never wanted – just like Omi is doing for us. If we still worked for Persia and Kritiker, I guarantee you that we wouldn't be married. They wouldn't have let that happen."

She nodded briefly, but whether just to acknowledge his words or because she understood what he was saying, he wasn't sure. "What's happening with Yohji?'

"I told him about Schu, how he and Schu had got together. He's finding it hard to accept it because he hasn't got the memories to back it up. He's... moving back to his flat. Says he wants to be alone."

"But he can't look after himself."

Ken shrugged. "He says he can. But there's a problem with the foyer being shared with Schuldig. I was wondering if you'd mind if I asked Schu to stay in our other flat."

She stared in surprise, but then she nodded again. "Okay. I don't know that he'll accept. I...." She flushed.

"You said stuff?"

"Yeah. I didn't know, Ken... I thought he was just some kind of revolting animal who'd fooled me all this time...."

"Because that's what he wanted you to think. You're too smart for that, love, just like Yohji is." He reached over and wiped a tear from her cheek that she'd missed. "Are you going to let him pull the wool over your eyes?"

"When the baby's born, would you ask him to baby-sit?"

"In a heartbeat." Not, Ken thought wryly, that Schuldig would agree. He'd made his views on babies very clear – nice as long as he didn't have to feed, burp or change them, and he could give them back the second they started to cry.

Louise considered his words. "Then I'll try to understand. But I need some time to think about it."

"You take all the time you want, love. I'm going to come up and talk to him later, and I'll tell him he's a dickhead – but I'm not abandoning him."

"No," she said firmly. "No, you shouldn't. I can't blame you for being a good friend. I just need to get my head around it."

He tugged her and got her to stand up. "Let's go back downstairs. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm fine. I've got you, and if I've got you, I can handle anything."

"Yep, we're invincible," he said cheerfully. But in his heart, it scared him how much losing the one you loved could destroy your life. If they could get through another week, he thought. In another week, Yohji should remember more, and then maybe Schuldig wouldn't be left to feel like he was some kind of leper. Ran, I hope you appreciate all this, he said to his absent friend. I never signed up to be your relationship advisor.

Given the fireworks he'd been expecting, Ken couldn't help but be relieved that all kinds of possible problems hadn't materialised. Even when he'd chewed out Schuldig for being such an asshole, the German had suffered it in silence, and then let Ken give him a hug, which Ken was surprised at his even wanting to offer, but he couldn't just watch a friend suffer the way Schuldig was and not do something. He knew it wasn't as good as Yohji being there for him, but Yohji was a long way from being able to help Schuldig, or even himself.

Yohji was being a recluse. He continued to go out to the physio, or for short walks – Ken saw him go in and out over the next couple of days on the monitors, but Yohji never came to the door of their flat. Dinner invitations were refused politely and very firmly, finally with a request that they were not repeated. Since he seemed to be eating something, Ken didn't push it. Schuldig had agreed reluctantly to move downstairs for a few days – he'd offered to go to a hotel, but Ken absolutely wouldn't hear of it. And, after she'd had some time to think over things, neither would Louise. That evening, she'd gone across to the other flat with a covered dish for Schuldig's supper and hadn't come back for two hours. She had been pale and red-eyed when she'd returned, but Ken knew this time her distress had been on Schuldig's behalf rather than her own. He was still dreading the inevitable conversation about Weiss' past, but he got the impression she was waiting for all the other dramas to settle down before stirring that one up. With any luck, all the team would be together again by then.

Omi had been able to give Ran the information he'd wanted – at least some of the terrorists had been on the Sivasothy 'accelerator' course although there was just no way to confirm if the others had been. More worryingly, the link between the Surrey institute and Estet had been established with the data Jensen's people had finally gained from the hard drives retrieved from Singapore. It seemed that there were certainly Estet personnel actually working there, and it was this that made Omi determined to get to London as soon as he could. He was busily rearranging things in Canberra, he told Ken when he called on Wednesday, and hoped to fly out by Sunday, after flying to Brisbane to speak to all of them in person. "But then you and Louise will probably have to come to Canberra – Schu as well. Is Yohji up to travelling?"

"Probably. He's mobile enough. I haven't spoken to him since yesterday morning."

Ken could almost hear the frown. "Have you seen him?"

"Not today. He's avoiding us."

"That's not acceptable, Ken. I want you to speak to him today and let him know what's going on. Do you know if he's got more of his memory back?"

"He's not saying anything about it, Omi. You know what Yohji's like if he doesn't want to tell you something – he makes Ran look like a gossip."

"Hmmm. Then ask Schu to check – this is more important than his privacy."

"Will do. We'll see you Friday?"

"Possibly tomorrow, but most likely Friday. How's Schu doing?"

"Yohji better get his memory back soon, that's all I'm saying."

"I understand. Well, do what you can and I'll see you soon. Give my regards to Louise."

Ken hung up and went into their office to tell Louise what Omi had said. "You haven't seen Yohji?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I was thinking of knocking on his door, seeing if he needed anything."

"Well, why don't you do that now?"

She did so, but was back in under five minutes. "He's not home. Does he have an appointment today?"

Ken checked his diary. "He had one a couple of hours ago. He should be back by now."

"He probably went shopping, or maybe he's taken a taxi into town. It's not like him to be stuck in his flat all day after all."

That sounded reasonable, but at the same time, the idea of an injured amnesiac Yohji wandering around on his own worried Ken. "I'm going to talk to Schu."

"Okay – I better let my team know I'll be down next week. Back to being a lab rat for you too."

"Oh thanks, love, I really needed to be reminded of that."

She stuck her tongue out at him and he threw a balled up wad of paper at her before making his escape. He found Schu in the little garden at the back of the second flat, reading a paperback book. "Any good?"

"Nope, it's a load of crap. What do you want?"

It was blunt, but Ken ignored the tone – Schuldig wasn't trying to be rude, he was just very preoccupied these days. "Omi called – he's going to London."

"To back up Ran? It's about bloody time. I wish I could go."

"So does he, but we're all needed back in Canberra. Um, Omi's worried about Yohji. He wants you to monitor him – if I turn off my implant, can you handle that?"

Schuldig's expression was carefully blank and his tone was mild and even-tempered. "If I have to. Omi doesn’t seem to care that Yohji has the right to a little privacy?"

"Well, it's up to you, I think. If Yohji would talk to us, then we wouldn't need to. But he's gone out and we don't even know where he is."

"Scheissse! Don't you have a fucking tracer on the man, Ken?" Now Schuldig was angry, glaring at him.

Ken kept his temper, knowing what was inspiring Schuldig's anger. "On his car, Schu, same as on yours. But he didn't take his car." He shrugged. "He had a physio appointment earlier, it's a hot day – he probably just wanted to get some air. But it's because he's not telling us what he's doing that we need your help. Will you?"

"I suppose so."

Ken picked up the book Schuldig had laid down – it was in Chinese. "Maybe you could do with going out too," he said mildly. "You haven't been out at all in days. Louise was thinking of going up to the firing range for some gun practice – why don't you go with her? You must be getting rusty."

"Maybe."

"Don't do us any damn favours, Schu," Ken said crossly. "If you don't want to do that, you could go get something for supper – she was going to go shopping on the way back from the range, but if you're just gonna sit around and mope...."

Schuldig made a face at him. "Nag, nag, nag. All right, bossy boots, I'll go with her. When is Omi going to London?"

"Sunday, he hopes. He needs to go over Jensen's data with you – he'll be back Friday. I can give it to you this evening."

He frowned. "Why not give it to me now?"

"Because there's a lot of it and you're going out with my wife," Ken said reasonably. "And I know from experience she hates being kept waiting." He lost his grin as he added, "See this as a chance to help her adjust a bit more, okay? I want you two to be friends again."

"Doesn't it worry you, Ken? You're very trusting."

Ken fixed him with a steady look. "I've learned the difference between real friends and frauds, Schuldig. And don't start that crap with me – I've had it up to here with the fucking emotional turmoil this week and if you pull the hair shirt routine with either of us again, I swear I'll shove my bugnuks up your damn nose. Stop pushing us away, or I'll run over you in my car."

"Ah," Schuldig said dryly, "the rational approach to problem solving. I'll bear it in mind." He rubbed his face. "When does she want to go out?"

"When we've had lunch – and she's expecting you, so if you disappoint her, you can expect to hear about it from me and my rational approach."

Schuldig grinned suddenly. "You talk pretty tough for a guy on wheels."

"See what being a superhero does to a man? Why don't you come over with me now?"

Schuldig agreed and followed him back to the other flat. Louise was making an obvious effort to be friendly with him and he with her, and by the time lunch was on the table, Ken sensed that the somewhat forced cheerfulness had become real. She was pleased Schuldig had agreed to come up to the shooting range with her – Ken regretted that he couldn't go as well, but he and Louise had arranged so that at least one of them was in the building at all times in case Yohji needed them. Right now, it was even more important because they needed to catch him when he got back.

Louise and Schuldig didn’t return until nearly six and the first words out of Schuldig's mouth were asking if Yohji had returned. Ken reported that he had not.

"When did you actually see him last?" Schuldig asked.

"Just before he went out yesterday morning."

"And you know for certain he came back in?"

Ken frowned as he tried to think. "Actually – no, I'm not sure. I don't watch the monitors all day. Let me check the activity logs."

Schuldig paced impatiently as Ken accessed the files. Louise watched them both with a worried expression. When Ken realised what the file was telling him, he swore. "Fucking hell, ins and outs don't match."

"He never came back." Schuldig slammed his hand against the wall. "Right – call Omi, there must be a procedure. Louise, you and I better search his flat and see what's missing."

Ken called out after them as they rushed out, "Check yours too, Schuldig! He might have gone into your flat."

Schuldig shouted assent and then the door slammed. Ken dialled Omi's office, but there was no answer. He was ready to scream by the time the mobile was picked up. "Omi, Yohji's missing."

"Explain," his leader said curtly, which Ken did without wasting words. "Shit. Contact Jensen, let him coordinate the search and contact the police. Do you know if he went to his medical appointment?"

It was nearly too late to call the clinic, so Ken terminated the call and placed another to the physiotherapist, before coming back to Omi. "He cancelled his appointment this morning when he went there yesterday. Said he was going out of town. His car's still here."

"Of course it is, Ken," Omi said acerbically, "he's not stupid. Call Jensen. Goddamn it, I don't think I can get the last flight tonight – I'll fly up first thing in the morning. Call me if you hear anything. And tomorrow you can explain how you guys dropped the ball so badly."

Ken knew the criticism was justified – one of them should have made contact with Yohji every day, but the man had been so damn standoffish that they'd all tried to give him what he was insistent on. When would they learn not to take Yohji on face value, he wondered ruefully.

Jensen was foul-mouthed with concern and hung up on Ken as soon as he had the bare information he needed to get things in motion. Schuldig and Louise returned with frustrating little information. Nothing was missing, no note – the only telling feature was that there was no perishable food left in the fridge, indicating that Yohji hadn't just impulsively decided not to return to the flats, but the cancellation of the medical appointment had already been a pointer that way. There was nothing they could do – Jensen had specifically told them not to start panicking and calling around. There was a procedure in place for an agent going rogue, and it was being followed.

"Maybe he went up to the coast to get away from everything," Louise suggested.

"Without even a towel?" Schuldig said. "God dammit, Ken, how did this happen?"

"Look, the guy was going in and out, and it wasn't that long – I don't watch the monitors all the time, and I had no reason to think he would just run away," Ken said defensively.

"None of us did," Louise murmured, coming over to rub his shoulders and kiss him. "It's not your fault, Ken."

"It's a collective failure, Louise," Schuldig said. "Yours, mine, Ken's. But I don't care about that now – we just need to get him back. He's in no state, mentally or physically, to be on his own."

"How much of his memory should he have back by now, Schu?" Ken asked. It could be crucial in determining how much risk Yohji was in – and how much risk he posed.

"Most," Schuldig said, but he didn't look happy. "But that doesn't mean he's back to normal. Part of his reaction to me had to be this business with Li Kwan – he let himself get close to a killer, and he let himself get emotionally involved. He must have thought that I was another of his 'mistakes'." The bitter tone told Ken that Schuldig thought Yohji was right. "And he's already full of guilt and grief."

"Suicide?" Louise asked, her hand covering her mouth. "Please tell me he's not feeling that low."

Schuldig glanced at her. "Do you want fake reassurances, Schatzi? My opinion can't give you any comfort."

"No," she said softly, her eyes wide. "Not after all he's been through, not what he's survived to get to this point."

"Lou, I don't think we should talk about this," Ken said, worried they would work themselves into a depression when they needed to be thinking about how they could help Yohji. "Can either of you think of anywhere Yohji might go? Schu, anywhere that means something special to him?"

"Well, the coast, as Louise said. But there are thousands of places he could be staying at – is Jensen going to see if his credit card or his bank card have been used?"

"Omi's doing that – they need authorisation. It probably won't come until tomorrow." Ken tapped his fingers impatiently. "I can't believe this. Yohji promised me he'd never do this to me again."

"He must be in a lot of pain," Louise said, put her hand over his fingers to still them.

At midnight Ken and Schuldig insisted Louise went to bed, but there was an unspoken acknowledgement between the two men that neither of them would sleep while Yohji was gone. All they could do was wait. And wait.

And pray.

Ran was pleased that Omi had got him the information he'd requested so quickly. It tended to confirm his suspicions that the 'accelerator course' was somehow implicated in an Estet scheme. He'd done more research on it since Ann had mentioned it, and had discovered that while it was offered to the adult students, it was more often offered to the new university students – and to high school graduates in their gap years, or in the couple of months between the end of their school year and their taking up their university place. It seemed sound enough – it was apparently a set of exercises which improved memory, fact retention and focussed the student on ways of summarising and noting information, taught either by class and by computer course. On the face of it, it seemed perfectly reasonable.

The only oddity was that it wasn't offered to everyone – anyone wanting to do the course had to sit an aptitude test, and only about ten percent of adult students were deemed suitable. A higher percentage of the younger students were selected. Ran's enquiries had not apparently roused suspicion – the administrators were quite proud of their products and happy to talk about them – but there was a level of ignorance as to what, exactly, the aptitude test was looking for, that indicated to him there was something not entirely correct going on.

He was still having no luck in locating Epitaph – the campus was both the perfect location and the perfect hiding place, a maze of offices and classrooms in which a computer, super or otherwise could easily be concealed, and a host of personnel who could be using it and looking after it. This was always assuming that he was even on the right track – but then, there was no other lead.

He was heartened by Omi's message that he expected to be visiting his 'brother' by Monday – it would help to have an extra pair of eyes and sharp brain, and Omi could make additional contacts that Ran simply could not because the campus was so large. He also hoped Omi might be able to get further help from MI6 at an official level – Omi could be extremely persuasive, and Ran had come to revise his opinion that one person could discover anything useful, although he had at least been able to make his assessment of the Surrey Institute and the neighbouring university. In the meantime, he dutifully attended ten hours of lessons a week, and taught the same number, which was less arduous than it sounded because he had no marking to do or materials to prepare. The day-long training for teaching the Japanese course had mainly consisted of being shown the computer programmes that were used, and how to handle the administration of students' learning goals. Admittedly, like him, his fellow tutors had all had some teaching or instructing experience, but he got the impression that the courses were designed to be led, if necessary by someone who had never taught before in their lives. He rather thought the insistence on some teaching background, like that on the tutors' dressing rather more smartly than the students, was pure window dressing.

Ann was on her course, so Ran thought to be able to walk the corridors without being stopped. But as he left the staff common room, and headed towards the exit of the college, his name was called, so he stopped. To his surprise, it was the deputy principal. "Mrs Kurtz? May I help you?"

"Oh, yes, Mr Nozawa. Have you got a minute? I like you to meet a countryman of yours we've just hired. "

Puzzled, he followed the woman back down to the administrative offices as she explained her flagging him down. "It's a stroke of luck really. We've suddenly had such a lot of interest in the Japanese courses, but we've just lost those two tutors – you know, the brothers whose father died? They had to fly home, no option of course, and no notice, unfortunately. I was just about to ask you if you would consider taking some more classes on, but then this gentleman applied to teach. I'd like him to get started this Monday, even though we haven't got an orientation planned until next Friday, and as you picked things up so quickly, I thought you might help settle him in. Here we are."

She opened the door to an office. Ran saw the top of a white blond head. "Mr Kamiya, here's Mr Nozawa. "

Ran stepped forward and the man turned the chair around and then stood, holding out his hand. "Hajimemashite, Nozawa-san."

Ran took his hand as if in a daze. Yohji?

Chapter Text

Only Ran's habitual concealment of his emotions prevented him from gaping like a fool, and the pressure of Yohji's fingers on his reminded him they were not alone. "Pleased to meet you too, Mr Kamiya," Ran replied in English, as a reminder to Yohji to speak that language. But what the hell are you doing here?

Yohji nodded slightly, clearly getting the hint. Although Ran was still reeling from the shock of seeing his lover in the last place he ever expected, he rapidly realised that Yohji was far from well, and right now, looked positively frail. Yohji must have realised why he was staring. "Please forgive my appearance. I was explaining to Mrs Kurtz that I was in a car accident two weeks ago. I'm glad I was still able to make the trip, as I really wanted to attend one of the courses at the Institute."

Mrs Kurtz beamed. "Well, I'm pleased to see our reputation has gone as far as it has, but I hope you're not putting your health at risk, Mr Kamiya. Mr Nozawa, can I entrust you with him and ask you to show him how the courses work? I'll schedule him to supervise a class with you late on Monday morning, and then I would think he should be able to take some of the less demanding classes until orientation."

"I'm sure I can prepare him, Mrs Kurtz. However, my brother is expected over the weekend. I was hoping to show him around London."

She seemed disappointed but Yohji spoke up. "I won't be any trouble, I promise. I won't get in the way of your reunion." He fixed Ran with a pleading gaze.

"Well, if you could at least help him a little, Mr Nozawa, I'd be very grateful, and you've got tomorrow to show him how we work. Mr Kamiya, if you come to the office on Monday morning, I can give you your schedule, and also tell you when you can start your ESOL classes. Now, take these manuals to look over before then."

Yohji was having a little trouble juggling the books one-handed so Ran took them from him. "Where are you staying?"

"I was going to look for accommodation when I left today," Yohji said.

"I may be able to assist you in that."

"That's wonderful, Mr Nozawa," Mrs Kurtz said enthusiastically. "Now, I don't mean to rush you, but I've got to get going. I hope you two hit it off, I always find our Japanese tutors such a pleasure to work with. Please let me know if you need anything, Mr Kamiya, I'll be in tomorrow."

Ran said nothing as he led Yohji out of the office, nor as he headed towards the bus stop. Yohji was limping, he noticed, and much more battered than he would have expected from Omi's report of his return. "Is this all your stuff?" he asked.

"I always travel light," Yohji said, dead pan.

Ran wanted to kiss him and question him and probably punch him for doing something so incredibly stupid. One thing was certain - no way had Omi sent Yohji over officially, which meant his lover had snuck off to join him. But why?

But questions had to wait until they were alone. Many students were finishing for the day just as Ran and Yohji were leaving, so there were a lot of people trying to catch a bus home as they were doing. Yohji was jostled at the bus stop and he winced each time someone bumped into him, which told Ran his injuries weren't slight. He was also underdressed for the weather, and looked pale and very tired. Had the man come straight from Heathrow? And how did someone so injured cope on a long flight without help?

Although they had to wait some time for a bus, it wasn't a long ride to the flat. Ran took over Yohji's luggage and the books (which he doubted either of them would look at) and led him up to the second floor. By the time they got to his landing, Yohji was white-faced and leaning heavily against the wall, looking as if he was about to throw up or pass out. Cursing, Ran dropped the books and luggage and grabbed Yohji carefully instead, holding him up until he got his keys and opened the door, helping Yohji inside and propping him against a wall so he could quickly get their belongings indoors as well.

Yohji was already sagging, so Ran put his arm around his waist and led him over to the sofa, easing him gently down to the chair. He crouched down and took Yohji's chin in his hand. "Now, what are you doing here?"

"Don't be mad, Aya. I'm sorry. I just...I just...."

Yohji looked so helpless, and so sad, that all Ran could do was kiss him gently and put his arms around Yohji's trembling body. Gods, he was thin. With his half-healed black eyes, and the ugly bleach job, he looked like an abuse victim. "No one knows you're here, do they?"

"No. I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that." It was so amazingly good to have Yohji here, Ran wanted to be selfish and just enjoy it, but he knew the other members of the team must be going insane with worry - and that was before Ran assessed what damage Yohji had done, blundering into the mission like this with no warning or preparation. The man was a master at improvisation, but there was a limit.

Yohji was starting to feel heavy, and Ran could tell that he was exhausted and at the end of whatever energy he'd mustered to get over here. "Let's get you into bed. We can talk later - I have to tell Omi you're here."

"He's gonna be mad," Yohji said with a weak grin.

"Maybe I'm going to be mad, did you think of that?" Ran said, entirely without anger.

"I'm sorry," Yohji murmured. "I had to be with you, Aya. I...I just had this feeling something bad was going to happen if I didn't see you,"

Ran felt his forehead - it was cool, too cool, really. "Come on, I said we'll talk later. You need to warm up."

Yohji was barely up to helping himself stand and Ran had to half carry him into the bedroom. Yohji sat on the bed and Ran began to help him strip, stopping to stare in shock at the spectacular riot of green, red, purple and black bruising that covered Yohji's body. "How the hell did you get into this state? Omi never told me anything about this." Something he definitely would want an explanation for when this was all sorted out.

Yohji grinned tiredly. "Got too close to a bomb I set - got blown off a building."

"Gods, Yohji! What other injuries do you have? What's wrong with your arm?"

"Dislocated shoulder. It'll be okay in a couple of weeks, Aya."

"Call me Ran, Yohji. Aya was my sister." He peered at Yohji - he must have had a head injury with those eyes but.... "How much of your memory have you got back?"

"Most of it, I think...Ran...." He swayed a little. "I...I think I need...." Ran caught him as he slumped and laid him carefully down. Lifting him was no difficulty, since he was so thin, and Ran soon had him tucked under the covers, dressed only in his underwear. Unfortunately, the bed had no electric blanket and there was no hot water bottle in the flat. All Ran could do was turn on the heating and then strip quickly so he could climb into bed alongside Yohji to warm him up.

Yohji rested easily in his arms, and now he was horizontal, he seemed a little more alert. "I couldn't sleep, love. I missed you and I was worried.... I just... just needed to touch you, smell you... I'm sorry for being weak...."

"Stop apologising," Ran said roughly, even though he almost wanted to cry at Yohji's sad words and the pain in his voice. "I missed you too. It's been a long four months. But wasn't Schu there to help you?"

There was an infinitesimal tightening of Yohji's body in his arms. "I fucked up, Ay-Ran. I think I hurt him bad this time."

Ran's heart skipped a beat. "What happened?" Yohji began to tremble again and Ran stroked his cheek to sooth him. "It's okay, Yohji. We can talk about it later."

"No... Ran, whatever he did... to my memory... it only came back slowly."

"Yes, he planned it that way, so you could get used to it."

"Yeah... but.... I remembered the bad stuff before I remembered the good stuff and I... gods, I ... Ran...." Yohji buried his face in Ran's neck. "I hit him. I told him I'd kill him, that he disgusted me...."

"Oh, Yohji," Ran said, holding him tight, aching for Yohji's pain and Schuldig's. "It's okay, I'll explain. He'll understand."

"I don’t think so. I fucked it all up again...Ran, I missed you...."

"And I missed you. Just rest, Yohji. We can sort this out later. Don't get worked up now. You're safe with me."

He held Yohji until long after his lover fell silent, but once he was sure Yohji was soundly asleep and warmed up, he slid out of the bed and got dressed again. It was still early, only five - three in the morning in Brisbane, but he could imagine that Weiss were waiting anxiously for news and he couldn't extend their agony.

He called the secure exchange that was used only in the strictest emergencies and had a call put through to Ken's flat - Omi picked it up. "Ran? What's going on?"

"Yohji's here."

"What?" Omi yelled - the speaker sounded like it would explode from the volume.

"He just turned up at the college. I take it you didn't know," Ran said dryly.

"Of course we damn well didn't. He disappeared two days ago but we hadn't been able to find any sign of him. He must be using a credit card we didn't know about. Hang on, Ran." Omi put the phone on mute, and Ran guessed he was passing on the news to the others and presumably getting the hunt called off. "How is he?"

"Not well, Omi. You never told me he was so badly injured - and he says his memory isn't all the way back. He also said he had a fight with Schu?"

"Yes, so I was told - I was in Canberra when that happened. Ken says he was very withdrawn and morose, rejecting all company - we didn't know how much of his memory he had back, but he should have most of it by now. Where is he?"

"In my bed, asleep. Omi, there's another complication - he's got himself hired by the institute and made public contact with me. If we pull him out, it might be noticed."

Omi let fly with a colourful phrase that had to be one of Andrew Jensen's. "That's just bloody wonderful. I was going to arrange for Schu and Ken to come over...."

"Ken?"

"Yes - and Louise. You said you needed more people, so why not the whole team?"

"Yes, but... I thought the British...."

"There's been a development, Ran - I'm emailing you a report. Needless to say, Yohji's intervention is not exactly well-timed but if we ask the British to extract him, it will cause something of a loss of face which the Aussies would be anxious to avoid, and might well expose you. Can you contain him?"

"I think so. He just seemed to need to see me, I don't know why he was so anxious - perhaps a side effect of what Schu did?"

"Possibly. I'll ask Schu. What's your assessment? We could pull you both out now and write it off, or we can go ahead and ease him out when we all get there."

Ran considered. If he left now, MI6 would not put someone in, he knew that - and yet he was sure there was something here. He had the strongest of hunches. "I would say there is a risk in leaving him here for now, but it's acceptable. After all, he's still Yohji, still an operative. He seems inclined to cooperate."

"Hmmm. Okay. I'll be there Sunday evening, the others may or may not follow. I'll make an assessment then - has he started employment yet?"

"Monday."

"Good - that gives us a little time. If necessary, all of us will leave if he's likely to compromise things. In other circumstances, he would be my first choice to back you up. This may not be a total disaster."

"He's still injured, Omi." Even if strictly speaking it wasn't something he needed to know for the mission, he still felt somewhat betrayed at something so important being kept from him. What if Yohji had been more seriously hurt? How had no one noticed his distress had become unbearable?

"Yes, I know, Ran. But since he's there, all we can do look on the bright side. If things go sour, just get the hell out, okay? Get Walker's help if you need it. Otherwise, brief him as best you can, and tell him to lay as low as possible. And read that report. Call me in the morning your time if you need more information."

"Yes. May I speak to Schu?"

"He's on the other line. You can speak to him in person soon, I hope."

"Yes. Thank you."

"Ran - tell him we want him back, will you? All of us?" Omi was speaking as Yohji's friend now, Ran could tell.

"Yes, of course. Good night, Omi. It will be good to have you here."

He hung up. The thought of working with the whole team again was curiously exhilarating. He only hoped that Yohji had not set something in motion which they couldn't handle.

Ken stared in shock at his leader. "Me? London?"

"Me too?" Louise said. She was still blinking the sleep from her eyes, having been woken by the phone call, and coming in to hear the tail end of it.

"Well, why not?" Omi said, slightly defensively. "Don't tell me you don't want to go into the field again, and every time I split couples up on this team, it's bad news. But if you can't handle it, fine. Schu, do you think the problem with Ran will be solved now Yohji's back?"

Schuldig, who had just put the phone call to Jensen down but who had clearly heard the important part of Omi's conversation with Ran, seemed as nonplussed as Ken. "I hope so - I really don't know. But I thought I couldn't leave the country."

Omi went over to his briefcase and extracted something. "Here," he said, holding out a small dark blue book - an Australian passport. "They'll still be watching you, but there's no restrictions other than the normal legal ones."

Now it was Schuldig's turn to stare. "How... I thought...."

"You can thank Ken. I've been negotiating for the return of your documents for a while, but they kept saying that you were too much of a risk. But on Tuesday, the prototype null field generator worked for the first time. It stopped working almost immediately afterwards but they're sure they can get it to go again. I went to Malcolm Reed and told him there wasn't any reason to restrict you any more and he agreed - I think he had been persuaded that way ever since Ken's implant started working. You're no longer invincible, Schuldig - welcome to normality."

Schuldig's face split into a grin. "You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, Omi. Anyway, when did you decide I was going to London?"

"I've been planning it as we've been waiting, and I was putting things together even before. Now we know that there are Rosenkrüs people there, I think there's an incontestable argument that we need you there too, and Ken's abilities give us a supreme edge. I'm aware there are difficulties," he said dryly, looking at Ken's wheelchair. "I was going to talk to you once we found Yohji. Which we have. I say that Weiss works best together, and this is a Weiss mission. Our men are in the field and we need to back them up. Who's in?"

"Me!" Ken said.

"And me, of course," Schuldig added. "But Louise?"

"Don't forget she's...." Ken found his mouth covered firmly by his wife's strong hand.

"Don't even think about it, Ken," she said.

"I think she's about to tell you what I'm already aware of, Ken - that she's pregnant, not ill," Omi said with a slight smile.

Ken glared up at Louise who let him go. "I was going to say she's never worked in the field."

"This is true, but I'm not thinking of you being active, Louise. Ken will need assistance, and we will need to monitor surveillance equipment. It's not glamorous, but it's extremely necessary. Are you willing?"

"Am I ever," she said enthusiastically. "Omi, is Yohji okay?"

"He's safe for now. Ran says he can contain him. I can't say I'm delighted, but we need to work around the situation. He's shed too much blood and Ran has put too much time in for us to waste their efforts by pulling him out. I say we use it to our advantage if we can, and get him out safely if we can't. But I am going to tear him a new one once he gets home," he said seriously.

"Don't be too hard on him, kitten," Schuldig said. "We have no idea what it's like for him right now, and he most likely felt he had no choice. He's not indulgent like this normally - not on his own behalf."

"I know, Schu, and I am less angry than worried. We're just lucky there aren't any telepaths at that institute. He's the best of all of us at normal undercover work, and even in his current condition, I would back him against the best ASIO have to offer."

"Amen," Ken said. "Omi, we're going to need MI6 to help - I'm going to need special transport and accommodation."

"Yes, and that's what you and Louise are going to be organising. I will fly out as planned this Sunday. Schuldig, you'll need cover and a disguise, and somewhere to stay, either with them or separately. We will need to move discreetly but quickly. Schuldig, would Groener know you again?"

"Possibly - it's been a long time. I was only fifteen the last time I saw him."

"Then you need the full works - hair colour, cut, lenses. Ken, Louise, you could pose as ordinary tourists visiting friends in London. Walker will have to get you close to the institute. Schu, you and I will try and infiltrate some listening devices into offices there and we'll use our abilities to see who's suspicious. We know Epitaph is there somewhere - the data off those disks makes it clear. We just have to find it."

"What was the deal on those disks Ran sent to us?" Ken asked.

"They're still working on it. At the moment, all they know is there's an intermittent signal similar to what they found on the tape of that television programme you guys worked on last year. But they don't know what it does, and it doesn't seem to have any effect on anyone. While I'm gone, Ken, you see if you can get them to hurry up on that."

Omi sat back and rubbed his eyes. "Gods, what a day. Am I making a mistake? Should I ask MI6 to get Yohji out?"

It wasn't like him to second-guess himself but it had been a long day and a longer night, and Ken knew Omi was tired as they all were. He and Schu had been camping in Ken's flat, waiting for news, but only Louise had gone to bed that evening - the others had sat up drinking tea and offering comfort through each other's presence, fearing the worst. No wonder Omi was doubting his judgment. Schuldig answered. "Honestly? Yohji is as safe with Ran as he could be, if he lays low. He will - he's not stupid like that. But if you try and make him leave, with the way he's been, you might have a real fight on your hands. At worst, you could compromise Ran's position and do Yohji an immense amount of harm. He's fragile, Omi, and he's desperate. We've hurt him enough. Leave him be until you see him and you can judge for yourself."

Omi nodded, his exhaustion clear in his pale face and shadowed eyes. "That was exactly what I thought. I just hope I'm not making another mistake. I can't forgive myself for what's happened to him thus far - if he comes to harm over this, I may as well throw it all in."

Ken laid a hand on Omi's shoulder. "Enough of that. Omi, go to bed. All of us, let's get some sleep. We know where Yohji is, and we've got a lot of things to plan."

Omi stood and without another word, headed out of the flat. Schuldig kissed Louise's cheek and said good night before he too, left the room.

That left Ken and Louise to stare owlishly at each other. "I didn't just imagine all that, did I?" Louise said.

"I don't think so. I wouldn't be surprised if Omi changes his mind tomorrow - I mean, me going into the field again? In this?"

"I dunno, love, if Ironside and Professor Xavier did it, you can," she said cheerfully.

"That's fiction, Louise," Ken said plaintively. "They never had to worry about ramps or catheters or taxis that can't take chairs or how to have a shower in a hotel without a roll in bathroom...."

She gave him a severe look. "Are you telling me you're going to let little stuff like that get in the way of you backing up your team, Ken Saki? I'm ashamed to know you, if you are."

"You're a hard, hard woman, Mrs Saki. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Morning sickness? Fatigue? Needing to pee all the time?"

"You'll crack before I do, Ken," she said with a grin. "Come on, mate, this is what you've been dreaming of. And what's the point of having super powers if you're sitting behind a desk all day?"

"Absolutely true. Right. London it is."

We're all bloody mad, he thought.

When Ran finished reading Omi's email, he felt rather less confident that Yohji would not present a problem on this mission. There were three known Estet operatives working in the college, they'd discovered - two of whose names Schuldig recognised as Rosenkrüs personnel. None of them meant anything to Ran, so the people had to be working under assumed identities. There were no photos as yet, although Omi was working on getting them. The only reassuring thing was that the only paranormal of the three was a telekinetic - but since Schuldig had many times impressed them with the ruthlessness and high intelligence of the Rosenkrüs trainers, Ran was suddenly fearful for the safety of his injured lover. Yohji was tough as an agent could get - but he was hurt in mind and body now. He belonged on the deserted island that Schuldig had been planning to take them all to when Yohji got back from his mission, not stuck in dark, cold London in a shabby flat and with every intention of throwing himself into danger again. But Ran also knew that Yohji was tenacious and would never give up, not while Ran himself remained. If Ran wanted Yohji to go without a fight, he would probably have to go too.

They had three days - Friday was one of his two class-free days in the week, so he could let Yohji rest and be briefed. If by the time Omi arrived on Sunday, Yohji was still unfit, Ran would take him home. The fight against Estet was important. But Ran had decided while Yohji was away that nothing in the world mattered more to him than Yohji and Schuldig and he would do whatever he could to ensure their safety and happiness. If that meant abandoning the mission, he would. His revenge for his dead, he now realised, was nothing compared with the love of the living.

There were some practical issues he needed to sort out. Like Yohji, Ran was travelling light and he had no spare clothes to lend him. That could be dealt with tomorrow. Right now, he was out of milk and other basics, since he'd planned to do some shopping that evening but Yohji's unexpected arrival had derailed that idea. There was nothing for it but to use the small corner store and grit his teeth over the quality of the produce. Yohji wouldn't mind, Ran well knew.

He made a quick visit to the store and bought the kind of light, warming foods that would be easy on a jet-lagged individual, remembering how his own stomach had rebelled at food for days after arrival. To his surprise, the small shop sold hot water bottles so he bought two - it had turned bitterly cold this last week and the flat's heating was inadequate. Coming from a Brisbane - or Singaporean - summer only made it worse.

Yohji was still asleep, so Ran filled the hot water bottles and slid them next to Yohji, before climbing in beside him again. It wasn’t as if he could easily bear to be apart from him, but given Yohji's uncertain condition, it was probably wisest to stay with him anyway.

Ran didn't really need an excuse, he knew that. It was simply habit to try and justify anything so purely wonderful as lying next to Yohji and listening to the much-missed, much-loved rhythm of his heart. But there was something wrong, Ran slowly realised, and as he sniffed, he realised what was different. Yohji's hair smelled of the treatment that had robbed it of its warm golden brown tones and left it a dull yellowish white, like an unattractive surfer blonde. Cut so short, and with Yohji so thin and brown, it made his eyes look huge. Yohji could never look ugly, but he didn't look much like the man Ran had fallen in love with.

It didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things - the injuries Yohji was carrying and his mental confusion were much more important - but Ran found it bothered him disproportionately. He would almost have preferred Yohji to have shaved his skull rather than do this, although the principle of radically changing one's hair colour and style was sound. People remembered such things, much more than eye colour or facial shape. Like Ran's own normal colour, Yohji's was now so unusual that people would probably not be able to recall much else about his appearance, except possibly his height - and that was less noticeable here than it was in Japan, although he was at the tall end of normal by British standards.

"My beloved fool," he murmured into Yohji's hair. At least Schuldig would be pleased Yohji had been found safe. He could imagine how Yohji's fight with him had hurt him, but Ran hoped that when they were all together again, such matters could be laid to rest. At least Yohji was aware of what he'd done.

Yohji slept soundly for another two hours, but then became restless, clearly troubled by a bad dream. When he began to call a woman's name, Ran fought his instinctive jealousy down - Yohji had lived a lie for four months, it had to have affected him. And soon enough, proof came as Yohji began to weep in total silence, his grip on Ran's shirt front death-like and rigid. Ran could only hold him and wait, knowing from his own experiences that to be woken in the middle of a nightmare made it so much worse because then he would remember the details much more clearly. But Yohji woke up anyway, with a gasp that sounded like raw terror, his eyes darting around, seeming not to see Ran.

"Sshh, I'm here," Ran said, touching his face.

Instantly, Yohji stilled and he gave Ran a slight smile. "So you are." He closed his eyes again. "I dreamed I lost you."

"You haven't."

"Thank the gods." He snuggled down against Ran's neck. "You were almost the first thing I got back," he said sleepily. Ran cupped the back of his head, missing the thick locks that he had loved so dearly. But then Yohji shifted as if in pain. Ran was about to ask him what was wrong when he opened his eyes and looked at him. "Why did Schu do that? Why didn't he make me remember him too?"

Ran didn't know. He could guess. "Perhaps he thought you would cope better only remembering one of us."

"But...he had to know I would remember Schwarz...."

"It doesn't matter, Yohji," Ran assured him, not wanting Yohji to distress himself and knowing that it would be the last thing Schuldig would want either. "He knows what's happening. I called Omi."

"Oh. How mad is he?"

"He's not happy, that's for sure, but he's more worried. He can tell you off in person when he sees you on Sunday."

Yohji shifted again, and this time Ran was sure he was hurting. "He's really coming? I thought that was just some cover thing you were saying."

"Yes, he's coming. What are you taking for the pain?"

"Nothing," Yohji mumbled.

"Idiot. Did you take anything on the flight?"

"Um, the muscle relaxants. But they make me sleepy, Ay... Ran."

Yohji gave him the full benefit of his beautiful eyes as he pleaded. Ran sighed. "Sleep is probably what you need right now. Take some now and rest and we'll pick something up tomorrow that doesn't knock you out. Okay?"

"Okay," Yohji said with obvious relief. "I thought you'd yell at me."

Ran stroked his cheek. "I should. But I don't think it would do any good, do you?"

Yohji chuckled faintly. "No, but I was preparing myself for it so it's almost like you did." To Ran's horror, tears started to run down Yohji's face even though he was still smiling. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Yohji...." Ran leaned in and kissed him. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry, sorry, love," he mumbled as Ran held him close.

What was he apologising for? For forgetting him? For coming over to London? Ran wasn't sure, but he'd rarely seen Yohji this upset and never this broken down. "It's all right, koibito," he said, using a rare endearment. "Don't cry, Yohji."

It took some time for Yohji to calm down. When he finally did, Ran was determined to ease his physical pain, even if his emotional agony seemed impenetrable. "Where are the pills? In your bag? And are you hungry?"

"Yes, and not really."

"Well I am and I'm not eating alone. I'll make you some soup and you will eat it, understand me?"

"Yes, sir," Yohji said with a damp smile. "But I'm so warm."

"You don't have to get out of bed. But considering how much you hate the cold, you picked the worst possible time to come to England."

"Any time when you're here is the right time," he said gallantly.

Ran shook his head at the flirting and got out of bed. Gods, the flat was still chilly. He pulled his sweater and jeans back on and found his slippers. Something warm and easily digested would be best, he thought. He set some potatoes on, ready to make soup from and while they cooked, he made a hot drink to warm Yohji up from within. He'd bought the ingredients for hot chocolate, remembering how Omi would make it for them when they needed cheering up, and how much Yohji liked it. He prepared it, found the pills and took a tray in to his lover, who he found staring sadly into space. He put the tray on the ground and helped Yohji sit up, before wrapping his own dressing gown around his shoulders. Yohji stole a kiss. "You make a great nurse. Not to mention a good-looking one."

"Huh, I've had enough practice with Schu."

Yohji looked down. "Has he been sick again?"

"Another cold, but he was having a hard time after you left. He's better now."

"I'm glad... you were there ... and he was there...."

Ran put his hand under his chin and made Yohji look at him. "You were missed, Yohji. You were never out of my thoughts, or his. Never, ever, think you would not be if you were gone. Do you understand me?"

Yohji smiled weakly but didn’t answer. Ran wondered what was going through that battered skull, and figured he most likely would get no answer if he asked. "Drink this, and take the pills. I'll bring you in some soup and then you can go to sleep. The weather is horrible - the best place to be for you is in bed."

"It's usually me saying that to you," Yohji joked, but his sad eyes belied the flirtatiousness.

"This time it's me. I'll be with you, you can sleep safe."

He turned to go, but Yohji's hand gripped his wrist. "I knew I was missing something all the time I was gone," he said hoarsely. "I slept badly the entire time. My heart knew you were gone, even though my head didn't."

Ran felt tears pricking his eyes. "Don't dwell on the past, Yohji. You're back. Omi says he'll never send any of us on a mission like that again. He knows it was a mistake."

"I did my job, Ran. It was worth it."

Nothing could be worth it, Ran wanted to say. "Maybe so. But the price is too high, and you are too precious to us. Weiss cannot survive your loss - we learned that the hard way."

"What happened?"

But Ran shook his head. "It's not important now. Drink your chocolate. I'll bring your soup." He removed Yohji's hand gently. "Your mission is to get well, Yohji. Concentrate on that."

Yohji stared at him, then nodded once. The message was received and understood. Everything else could come later.

Ken was sure Omi would wake up and wonder what he'd been smoking, so he was braced for disappointment. He and Louise had only been up for an hour themselves and were having a late breakfast/early lunch, discussing how they could possibly manage the London mission, and warning each other that their boss might change his mind when he collected his thoughts, when there was a knock at the door. It was Omi himself, who accepted a cup of tea and sat down at the table with them. He looked far less harried than he had done the previous day - knowing Yohji was alive and relatively safe had clearly lifted a burden from him as it had from all of them. "I've just emailed Walker with our requirements, and I'm hoping he'll call this afternoon. Any more from Ran?"

"Yeah, an email saying that he needs you to bring some warmer clothes for Yohji - he says Schu's got some stuff he can lend him - and asking me to give him any information about Yohji's treatment and therapy. He's also wanting to know who should tell Walker about him."

"I've handled that. I'll email Ran later. I've also contacted the Canberra office, Louise, and told them to expect you to be gone up to a month. You need to arrange matters with your GP and we'll make sure you have medical cover while you're there, just in case there's any problems. Which I hope there aren't," he added hastily.

Ken played with the salt shaker. "You're for real about this? We're really going?"

Omi gave him a long-suffering look. "Ken, you're our only working null field generator, and since we don't know what is going on in England, that's potentially hugely useful - your disability is just something we have to work around. I could send you and Schu on your own, but I don't feel like fighting Louise as I know I'll have to," this with an apologetic smile at her, "and apart from her pregnancy, and her lack of experience, which are not slight matters, I grant you, we really do need you to have an assistant. Your pregnancy is proceeding normally, Louise, as I understand it - if there's a medical reason why you can't go, we need to know now, of course."

"No, I feel fine - tired by the evening, and I need to know there's a loo handy, but actually, I feel great," she said emphatically.

Omi considered her. "And the morning sickness?"

"Tailing off."

"Risk of miscarriage?"

To an outsider, Omi might sound callous, Ken thought, but he was just going through the mission parameters the same as he would for all of them. "Well, it's there, Omi, same as any pregnancy. But there's nothing I can do to stop it, and since you say I will only be working a support role, that's no different from what I do now."

"Then, fine. I trust you to honestly evaluate the risks and take steps to minimize them, and to pull out if you feel you're compromising the mission - do you understand me?"

"Yes, I do."

"Good. Ken, I know you're feeling protective of Louise, but I've had enough of that with the other three - I need you to understand that on this mission, we look after everyone, and everyone will look out for each other. Louise will be given as much - and no more - consideration than anyone else. Right now, I think Yohji is much more vulnerable than she is. If you go, no cave men antics like I saw the other day or I'll send you home, null field or no null field."

"I'd kick his backside," Louise said firmly.

"I can't feel it if you do, beloved," Ken in a sickly sweet voice. "No, Omi, I won't do that. What do you see us doing there?"

"Two things. We need to get surveillance equipment onto that campus, and you and Louise will be monitoring that, either from a van or a building. I need Walker's help with setting that up - I think he'll agree. The other is to offer a cloak of protection for us against this telekinetic and any other paranormals that are there or who might turn up. Now, that will need you and Schuldig to work hand in glove as his telepathy is a weapon we may need. It's going to be a rather fluid situation, people, but I've been told this morning that the destruction of Epitaph is now Weiss' top and only priority. Well, actually, I told them that and they agreed," he said cheerfully.

"What did they say about Yohji?"

"So far as they know, he was redeployed on my orders, and that's all they need to know. We can explain the search as a misunderstanding - I'll deal with that. Ken, in your estimation, how soon will Yohji be physically fit?"

"Totally? At least a month or more. But he'll be a lot better in a week or so, especially if he'll actually let someone help him. The bruising is very bad but it'll heal."

"The most important thing," Louise said, "is having Ran there. Yohji needs someone to give him a hug and he wouldn't let any of us do it."

"Yeah," Ken agreed. "The main thing holding him back was the mental stuff. That'll get better now, won't it?" he asked, hoping he was right.

"We hope," Omi said solemnly. "Ken, my cover ID as Ran's brother should be couriered over this morning from Toowoomba - better find out if Yohji's got decent cover documents...."

"He's using an ID he used last year on one of his Malaysian missions," Ken said.

Omi scowled. "In future, make sure all the damn papers come back to you, Ken. And find out what credit card he was using. If my people are going to disappear, they're going to have proper documents, not something half-arsed they've made up for themselves."

"Omi?" Ken said, startled.

Omi shrugged. "Oh, I may as well tell you now - that was my second string plan for Schuldig. If they didn't give his passport back, I had a second identity prepared. Actually, I've set up second identities for all of us - I did that when they took away his documents - and I've finished the computer programme which will move our bank accounts without trace into new ones. It's as foolproof as I can make it, and it would mean the end of Weiss, but I thought better that than Schu or the rest of us dancing to some damn scientists' tune."

Louise looked at Ken in astonishment. "You didn't know?"

"Hell no. Why the hell didn't you tell us?"

There was a knock on the door, and then Schuldig strode in. "Excuse me," he said cheerfully, and then he grabbed Omi around the shoulders and gave him an enthusiastic hug and a noisy kiss on the cheek which made Omi squirm. "You little rat."

"You were listening," Omi said sternly, but he was grinning.

"Not deliberately, but I picked you were talking about Ran and Yohji so I wanted to get up to speed. And to answer your question, Ken - this boy works on the need to know basis and we didn't need to know. Am I right? Impressive shielding, by the way."

"Thank you, I learned everything from you. Yes, I was waiting until everyone was back together again... but now you know, I'll tell you the rest." Omi shoved Schuldig off so the German found himself a seat and a cup and helped himself to tea and a croissant. "I've set up a dead man's switch so the information would have come to you if my login had been inactive for more than seventy two hours, but Ken, there's a file on your computer and on my laptop with all the details. I'll show you before I leave - but I want all of us to have access to the information on where the accounts are and the documents. I can only do so much, Schu, and you'll be out there on your own, at the mercy of Estet and anyone else with a grudge against you. You're still better off where you are - but you have a choice, if you and the others want it."

"Thank you, kitten," Schuldig murmured. "I'll stay for now - but thank you for thinking about me. I'll do some proper grovelling when we get back from London."

Omi grinned. "Now that, I'll hold you to. Now, I'm still waiting to hear from Walker...."

"The Iron sphincter won't mind me trampling his turf?"

Louise gave a muffled laugh and Omi frowned. "Mr Walker, who is a very capable and senior agent," he said with emphasis on each adjective, "has offered me all co-operation, and I expect you and the rest of us to return the favour. Don't give me grief, Schuldig, this is too important a mission to screw up. Not only do we need to find and destroy Epitaph, we need to get Yohji and Ran home safely. Understand?"

"Yes, kitten, I understand. It was a joke," Schuldig said meekly.

"Hmph. As I was saying, I'm waiting to hear from him, but if the Institute and the University operate anything like the ones here, they will have contractors doing cleaning, carrying out routine maintenance, that kind of thing. I want you to get inside with that kind of access so we can plant the bugs. I'll arrange with Walker to supply you with the equipment - you go up to Toowoomba and get the full training from Jensen's boys on how to place and use them. Louise and Ken, you will need to be brought up to the speed on surveillance too, but I want to know where we'll be based." He drummed his fingers as he thought. "Damn, I need to be here and I need to be there...."

"No, you don't, Omi," Ken said firmly. "We can liaise with Jensen, and you can trust us to handle our end. How are you planning to get inside?"

"The University is offering late enrolments on its MBA programme - unusually, it has courses starting in February, which is a stroke of luck. I'll try and get on that - if I can't, I'll have to make do with the Institute, but Ran and Yohji have that covered. Ran thinks Alex Thompson found something going on at the University which didn't make it into her notes, and I need to try and find that. I've got an edge she didn't have, after all."

Louise spoke up. "Isn't MI6 going to come in now? If we know the computer is in Surbiton?"

"They will if we want them to, but Walker said he'd let Weiss handle it with backup. We've got three paranormals - they've got no one trained that they can move in easily. The last thing we want to do is spook them and have them move Epitaph."

"Omi," Ken said. "There was something else. Ran said two Japanese tutors left suddenly this week - Fujisaki Kyo and Sena. He was told that their father had died and they'd had to return to Japan, but he said that three students had also left suddenly in the last two weeks. It happens from time to time, he said - but he wondered if we could check it out."

"Do it, Ken. Ran has good hunches. He was right about the Sivasothy Institute being up to no good and he could be right about this. Okay - anything else?" The rest of them shook their heads. "Get on with it, people. I want you all out in London by the end of next week. I'm going to go back to my flat to wait for Walker's call and prepare for the trip. Schuldig, Yohji needs more warm clothing, Ran said. Can you help?"

"Of course."

Omi and Schuldig left, with promises to return for dinner that evening. Louise began to help Ken clear the dishes. "That boy doesn’t let the grass grow under his feet, does he?"

"Nope, he never has. Lou - all joking aside, are you sure about this? No mission is completely safe, and I can't protect you as much as I'd like to. If anything happened to you or the baby...." He held her around the middle, wishing now he'd made more strenuous objections to her going on this mission. "I'm trying not to be an idiot over this, but you are the most precious thing in my life."

"I know, love, and you're not an idiot." She made him look up at her. "If you really don't want me to go, because of the baby, you've got the right to say that - it's your child too. I'm only one half of the production team."

"You're the most important part and it's you I'm worried about too."

She brushed back his fringe. "You want to go on this mission?"

"I think I need to, Lou. Omi would never have asked me to go if he didn't think I was needed. I'm worried about my team."

"My team too, remember, even if I'm only here under sufferance." Ken made a small noise of dissent - she was part of Weiss as much as any of them. She may never have killed but she was loyal to them and they to her. That was all that counted. "You do need assistance - if I don't go, then you'll need someone else. Would you trust someone more than me?"

He caught her hand and gave it a squeeze. "No, I wouldn't. But there's something else, Lou. Weiss is - was, at least - an assassin unit. We've killed, we may have to kill again. Could you watch Ran, Yohji - me - kill someone and not freak out?"

For the very first time, she looked uncertain. "How did you feel the first time you saw it, Ken?"

"I puked my guts up. And not just the first time - when I had to make my first hit, I showered for an hour and got drunk. I got into this huge fight with Omi, then he sat on me until I stopped crying." He gave her a weak grin. "Not much of a superman, huh."

"No, but a damn fine human being anyway, Ken." She bet and laid her head on his hair. "I don't know, I really don't. If you think it will hinder you guys, then leave me behind. I'll do my best for you, I promise. But I don't want any special treatment here."

He let her go. "Why don't we talk to Schuldig this evening? He won't shy from telling you what he really thinks. I can't be unbiased here, love."

"That's fair enough - and that gives Omi time to plan for someone else, if he needs to."

He tugged her down for a kiss, pleased he had married such a sensible and reasonable woman, but half-hoping Schuldig would give her a good reason to stay behind where she would be completely safe. He was cowardly enough to want to protect his family even if it denied Louise the chance of excitement. Excitement, he decided, was overrated.

Ran really didn't want to wake up. He was warm and comfortable and Yohji's body was like heaven against him. But there was daylight at the window which meant it was already after seven o'clock, and there were things he had to do today - for Yohji and for the mission. You're not on holiday, he told himself sternly. Yet he didn't move to get out of the bed. Yohji was still deeply asleep, a small frown between his fine eyebrows, shadows of sleep deprivation and concussion still marring his eyes. Ran wouldn't disturb him for the moment, although he, at least, really couldn't spend all day in bed.

It hadn't been a completely peaceful night. Twice more, Yohji had woken himself up with nightmares and had needed reassurance that Ran was there and not dead or missing. The drugs seemed to have made him fuddled and Ran could understand why his lover was so reluctant to take them. Ran would visit a chemist today and see what else he could get for Yohji that didn’t leave him so confused. He remembered only too clearly what struggling with mental disorder and amnesia felt like and he shuddered still at the idea of being lost in that hazy, frightening world where nothing seemed real or clear. Yohji had helped him then, Ran would help Yohji now.

He was glad Schuldig was coming over soon - if Yohji had not recovered by then, Ran hoped Schuldig could help, since Yohji was suffering guilt over what had happened back in Brisbane. Schuldig could ease his mind about that. Ran couldn't imagine Schuldig would hold a grudge over what Yohji had said - Schuldig was incapable of hating Yohji or rejecting him, Ran was sure.

Yohji stirred and gasped a little - he must have caught his bruises. "Take it easy," Ran cautioned, helping his lover turn onto his back. "Stiff?"

"Plank-like." He smiled. "Hello, gorgeous."

"Huh, still drugged, I see," Ran said with a smile as he bent down for a kiss. "How do you feel?"

"Better, I think. I'm sure I'll change my mind when I get up. Is it me or is it freezing in here?"

"Actually, this is quite warm," Ran said in all seriousness.

"Ran, it's freezing."

"No, it's not. Wait until the pilot light on the boiler goes out and you'll know what freezing is like. Stay in bed, Yohji. I'll make soup and rice and bring you some tea."

"Mmmm, sounds good, Aya," Yohji said drowsily before giving him a guilty smile. "Sorry. Ran."

Ran stared down at him, perplexed at Yohji's use of a name he'd given up out of respect for his dead sister four years ago. "Why do you keep calling me that?"

"I...dunno.... Things are a bit mixed up. Like I keep expecting you to have short hair and those eartails, and then... it doesn't help you've got that horrible dye job," Yohji said, reaching out a hand to flick at Ran's bangs. "It does nothing for you."

"I was going to say the same thing. Schuldig will wring your neck - he loved your hair. So did I."

Yohji shrugged his good shoulder. "It was the only disguise I could come up with at short notice."

You didn't really need to come up with anything, Ran nearly said in exasperation, but the deed was done. "Okay. Breakfast - shower?"

"Yes, please," Yohji said with feeling.

"Okay, then after that, I'm going to see if I can raid the local second hand stores for some warmer clothes for you - unfortunately I've already found that the regular stores are out of their winter stock, but I've asked Omi to bring over some better ones - and then we need to plan this mission."

Yohji tried to sit up but needed Ran's help. "You're not mad? Omi's not going to make me go home?"

"You can go home if you want or you need to, but you've made public contact with me, so that means I may have to leave too. Which I will," he added quickly. "The mission isn't as important as your health."

"I can't let you throw the mission in on my account, Ay...Ran." Yohji pulled the blankets up under his chin one handed. "Epitaph's here. People died for that information. I... you have to stay."

"Then maybe you should have thought about that before you came running over here," Ran snapped without thinking, but instantly regretted it as Yohji looked away. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you felt you had to."

"I did. I'm a selfish fool," Yohji said bitterly. "Look, I'll go back - I can even go back today. You can tell that Kurtz woman I changed my mind and that I didn’t like the idea of teaching after all."

Ran was severely tempted for Yohji's sake, but then he looked at Yohji's sad eyes, the pain in them and the way he was holding himself, as if expecting rejection, and he knew he could not do this. Yohji wasn't the kind of person to wantonly put anyone's life in danger, let alone Ran's, and he must have felt some deep imperative to come over on a long, tiresome flight, fully expecting Ran's anger. The only two questions were - what was good for Yohji, and what was good for the mission. "Answer me honestly, Yohji. Can you be fit by Monday to carry out whatever role you need to? Because if you can't, yes, it would be better for you to go. Omi is sending all of Weiss over here so if you're not fit, you'll endanger them all. Louise included," he added - a low blow, but he had to know if Yohji was really prepared.

Yohji looked down so all Ran could see of his eyes were his long lashes. "I've really fucked up, haven't I?" he said in a low voice.

"It's not the wisest action you've ever taken, no." Ran put his hand under Yohji's chin and made him look up. "Yohji, I'm not angry. I won't be angry if you go - you've paid more than enough of a price for finding Epitaph. You can retreat with honour, and I will come back, I promise. But if you stay, we can't carry you. Only you know the state of your mind and your body. I've seen you fight with bullet holes in you, your manliness isn't in question - or your bravery."

"Do you need me here?"

"I need someone, certainly, and Omi said you were his preferred choice of backup if all things were equal. But Omi is coming, so is Schu. I need someone who can cope with everything. There's something else - we know there are Estet people here, including two from Rosenkrüs. Things just got interesting."

Yohji gave him a weak smile. "As opposed to living for four months with a terrorist?"

"You have a point. You understand the danger better than anyone. So - your decision?"

"Give me until Omi gets here, Ran. If I'm not ready by then, I'll go back and wait for you at home, I swear. Can you give me three days?"

Ran hugged him carefully. "Yes, easily. I know you'll do what you can - it's not your fault you're injured or amnesiac."

Yohji looked away and Ran got the feeling he'd set off one of Yohji's landmines. "Yohji?"

"Some other time, Ran. You said something about food? I think I'm actually hungry for the first time in weeks."

Ran frowned at the deflection, but he let his lover have his privacy. "I'll bring it in. Stay warm."

Yohji nodded, and then he made a reflexive gesture with his hand Ran hadn't seen in years, as if he was reaching for something no longer where he'd left it. "Have you given up smoking again?" He hadn't noticed that Yohji or his clothes had smelled of smoke at all, which he now realised he'd half expected.

"Yeah. I remembered how much you hated it." He gave Ran a twisted smile. "But I could kill for a cigarette."

"You know they have these nicotine patches now - they might help."

"I suppose. It's more knowing what to do with my fingers and my lips, and I hate chewing gum."

Ran leaned over and gave Yohji a long kiss, making sure to engage tongues and lips fully. He put on his huskiest tone. "I think I can find something for you to use your fingers for." His spirits rose at Yohji's wide-eyed look of pleasure. "But you need to get your strength back."

"Damn tease."

"Crippled old man."

Yohji stuck his tongue out and looked somewhat more cheerful than a minute earlier. "Make you pay for that later."

"I look forward to it," Ran said, making sure his hips swayed ever so slightly as he left the room. He'd learned a thing or two from having two lovers, after all.

It was eight o'clock before they were all back in Ken and Louise's flat to eat and to report back on what they'd discovered. Schuldig was going to Toowoomba on Monday. Omi had gained Walker's cooperation for Weiss' arrival and was looking out suitable surveillance points, as well possible entry points for Schuldig. He also promised to lend them an agent to assist them. He had given Omi a list of hotels near the university which could take a disabled guest, was looking into house and apartment rental too and said he would arrange a vehicle that could take Ken's chair. Louise had been cleared to go on the mission by her doctor and Ken had already sent Ran details of the exercises Yohji needed to do for his shoulder. Everything looked as set as it could be at this end.

Only after the meal did Louise hesitantly broach the subject that she and Ken had discussed earlier. Schuldig listened carefully to her concerns and then considered it in silence for some considerable time, before looking at Omi. "You and I are so far away from our first mission - I barely remember what it felt like."

Omi gave him a level look. "I think you do. I know I do."

Schuldig shrugged. "Perhaps I do. But you and I are not typical."

"No. I've already made it clear that I think Louise could do this. What do you think?"

Schuldig tapped the tips of his fingers together. "I don't know, Schatzi. You're soft-hearted, but so is Yohji. You're brave enough, but bravery isn't all that's needed. Ran and I worked with a young lady much like you last year, and she was okay so far as it went, but she didn't seem to understand that it's not enough to embark on actions against people like Estet's agents - people like me, Louise - unless you can do what it takes to carry them through. Ran, Yohji, Omi, Ken have all learned that. No one's expecting, or wanting you to become an assassin - but I presume you'll be carrying a gun and if you fire it, you have to shoot to kill. Anything less, and one of us could end up dead. There's no point in asking you in advance if you can do that. "

She seemed a little nonplussed at all this. "But how did you ever learn to kill, Omi?"

Omi coloured. "Pardon me, Louise, but I really can't talk about that. I...." He stood up. "Excuse me. I'm sorry." And then he left the flat.

"Oh, God - what did I say?" Louise said, clearly upset at having caused offence.

"It's not you, Schatzi," Schuldig said. "Omi's life couldn't be considered normal by any measure, and doesn’t apply to you. Look - answer me this. If Ken was being attacked by a man with a gun, could you shoot to kill?"

"Yes," she said firmly.

"If the attacker was armed with a knife?"

"Yes."

"And if you couldn't see the weapon? What if it was a telekinetic who was squeezing his heart, making his brain...."

"Schuldig, stop it!" Ken yelled, seeing that Louise was looking distressed, but she waved him down.

"No, no, Ken, he needs to ask. Yes, I could."

"Then go on the mission, and I hope you have no need to use a weapon at all. But you should go to Toowoomba with me and go through the Army training course. Firing at targets is one thing - firing a gun at a man is another. It's the only training they give soldiers in this country, it will have to do for you."

"All right," she said, her face now pale but resolute. "You really think I could have to kill someone?"

"It's a possibility, Lou," Ken said soberly. He looked at Schuldig. "I'm really not sure about this now."

"Then sort it out, kids, but do it before you get on the plane. Alex Thompson is dead. I don't want the same fate for you, Louise." He stood. "I'm going to find Omi. Thank you for supper, and I'll speak to you tomorrow." He came over to Louise and tilted her chin up and looked into her eyes. "Staying behind can be as hard and necessary as going, my dear. Bear that in mind, too." She nodded and he touched her cheek gently. "Good night."

"I shouldn't go," she said when the door had closed behind Schuldig. "I could get you killed."

"Love, I could get you killed too. I can't exactly throw myself in front of a speeding bullet for you. Having said that - you're a crack shot, and you know what's expected." He reached over and rubbed at the frown lines on her forehead. "I have more faith in you than I do in myself. We'll be backup, not front line. The danger for us will be if things go bad and spill over before we can get out, but we'll have plans for an escape. Omi won't allow us not to."

"Ken, if I got you hurt...."

"If I got you killed...."

"But if I wasn't there and something happened to you...." She gave him a pleading look. "Don't let me muck this up."

He put his arms around her. "I won't," he promised. "The guy from MI6 will be there too. In the end, we do our best and that has to be enough."

"Oh, Ken, I'll give it everything I've got."

He patted her back. "That's all I want, love. That's all any of us want."

He just hoped it was enough.

Ran left Yohji dozing in bed, newly filled hot water bottles tucked up against him, and made his way to Kingston in time for the shops' opening. He had two goals - to hasten Yohji's physical recovery, and to make him comfortable in the kind of cold weather he hadn't experienced since he'd left Japan. Yohji had enough things sapping his normal cheerfulness - being in pain or feeling chilled would only make it worse, and Ran only had three days. He instinctively felt Yohji would take it very hard if he was forced to return to Australia, and Ran was determined to give him every opportunity to stay.

Fortunately, while the main clothing retailers were already selling their spring selections - far too light for the current cold snap - the numerous second hand stores had an abundance of sweaters, jackets and warm trousers from which Ran could make a selection. Together with thick socks, they should keep Yohji from freezing. The pharmacist was able to advise Ran on pain relief, and suggested a liniment rub as well.

Ran returned to the flat burdened with clothes, medications and food, and when he'd dumped the latter in the fridge, he brought the rest into the bedroom. Yohji was lying on his back with a sad, distracted look on his face. Ran sat next to him and gave him a kiss. "What's wrong?"

Yohji made the effort to smile and reach up to touch his cheek. Ran nuzzled against his hand. "Ran, when this is over, promise me you'll forgive me for what I had to do?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Yohji. I knew you were going to have to... get intimate with that woman. We do what we have to do. You don't need to justify yourself or apologise."

"Ran... it's more than that...." Ran waited for Yohji to explain, but he didn't. "When we get home, " he murmured.

"Yes. When we get home," Ran repeated firmly. "Now, you can shower, wash the stink out of your hair because it's making me ill," - Yohji raised his eyebrows in surprise -, " and then I'm going to make you stink even worse with this." He held up the liniment.

"You better not get that anywhere sensitive," Yohji warned.

"Then you better be very nice to me," Ran said sweetly.

The bathroom was small, and like the rest of the flat, in need of modernisation. The shower produced a pitiful amount of hot water in Ran's opinion, but a bath would not stay warm enough for Yohji. Yohji bore the crappy facilities without complaint and refused assistance, but seeing how awkwardly he moved once he got out of the bathroom, Ran insisted he took the painkillers before he gave Yohji the rub down.

He did it as fast and as carefully as he could, but Yohji was suffering from the cold by the time he finished, and was clearly glad to be back in his clothes. "That feels better, love, thank you," he said, rotating his body carefully. Ran wondered how much better Yohji would be now if he'd let Schuldig or Ken give him body rubs and massages, but there was nothing that could be done about that now.

"Good, because Ken tells me you've got exercises to do, and then I need to brief you."

"Anything you say, fearless leader. I'm going to be fit by Sunday."

Ran regarded him seriously. "Yes. You are."

To give him his due, Yohji worked as hard at his therapy as anyone could wish for. He explained how Ran could help him and Ran did so, determined that his lover was not going to end up with the weakened shoulder that Ran himself had once had (although, ironically, it was a problem that Dr Tennchi had apparently cured while he'd held Ran and Omi prisoner). Ran certainly wouldn't ever want Yohji to have to resort to the services of a psychopathic microtelekinetic to heal damage that could be avoided by proper care at this stage.

Another short massage, and then he and Yohji could tuck themselves up on the sofa with a hot water bottle against Yohji's sore shoulder, and mugs of tea in their hands, as Yohji read through Ran's notes and listened carefully to his description of the campus and the problem. "The institute used to be an old technical college, so I understand, and they bought out property behind and to the side of it. At any one time, they've got over five hundred students enrolled, but they're not all on the site every day. The courses last anything from a month to six months. The typical tutor stays with them three to six months."

"A fast-changing population of people already on the move - perfect cover," Yohji murmured.

"Tell me how Kwan's operation worked," Ran asked, not missing how Yohji tensed up at her name, but he had to know. "How did they target their recruits?"

"She was given names from other operatives, who had made the initial contact. She told me Epitaph identified them, but I never learned exactly how. She didn't know, I think." He frowned as if at some painful memory.

"You think I'm right? That the Sivasothy method is the link?"

"Could easily be, Ran. It's pinging my spidey sense too."

Ran grunted in some satisfaction. Yohji had excellent instincts, and if he also had a bad feeling about all this.... "My difficulty had been trying to investigate the layout on my own. It's really too big for one person. MI6 had two people, but they weren't here very long. Stanton died in his accident within two weeks, and Alex killed herself after a month."

Yohji looked at him. "Not an accident, not suicide, I bet."

"No, but they had no evidence that it wasn't, only Walker's gut feeling. Not enough to commit someone else."

"Huh, but they don't mind you risking yourself."

"It was my choice, Yohji. I thought I was helping to get you home sooner."

"I managed that on my own," Yohji said distantly. He didn't elaborate.

It was like that all day. Yohji was alert and perceptive when talking about the mission, but he got confused or uncommunicative as soon as Ran touched on his mission, or the recent past. It was as if Yohji's mind was as bruised as his body and he couldn't bear any pressure at all.

Ran could only work with him, knowing his lover was struggling to pull his weight. Already he was proving his worth to the mission by his suggestions. Being a more sociable person than Ran, Yohji could talk more easily to the other tutors. Ran, by contrast, had made more contacts with the students with whom he had become surprisingly popular - which was how he'd become friends with Ann Thurfield. But neither of them had any idea how to scour such an enormous, rambling site - and the University beside it - for the relatively small space that might house Epitaph. Not until late in the afternoon as it was starting to get dark, sleet hitting the windows with a chilly, unwelcoming sound, when Yohji said, "Power cut."

"Huh?"

"Power cut. They must have that thing triple backed up with secondary and tertiary power supplies, don’t you think?"

"Very likely - but how does that help. If we cut the power, it still runs."

"Yeah - but isn't there some way we could see which parts of the building still had power? Is there some gizmo that will show us?"

It was such a simple idea, but it could be exactly what they needed. "I can ask Walker, or Omi can. We still need to destroy it and take out the people involved. We can't move precipitously or we'll miss them."

"Then that's why we need people to find the people. Ran, you shouldn’t have done this on your own. It's a two or three man mission."

Ran had the uneasy feeling that Yohji was right and that he should have pressed Omi for backup. He had been too eager to get back into the field, to get Yohji home, and it had been a mistake. "Yes, you're right," he said, acknowledging the fault.

Yohji merely grunted, neither blaming nor absolving him. "It's gonna be weird, having everyone together again. Do you think they should be bringing Louise? Isn't she going to distract people?"

"You mean the way me having two lovers on a mission with me won't?"

"Um, okay," Yohji said with a rueful grin. "Ken, a daddy. I was having problems getting my head around him having a wife but when he laid the baby thing on me... whoa!"

"Aren't you happy for them? They thought you would be."

Yohji snuggled a little closer. "I'm thrilled. Just... blown away. Babies never seemed to be a Weiss thing, you know?"

Ran chuckled. "You mean, nappy changing and wire wielding aren't compatible activities? You surprise me."

"If anyone could have managed it, I figure Omi probably could have," Yohji said with a grin. "Mmm, 'm tired."

"Stay awake a little longer, Yohji, or your body clock will never adjust. You'll be awake at two in the morning, trust me on this."

"You're the boss," Yohji said, yawning. "But then you better make me some more tea."

Considering the circumstances, and that they were in the middle of a mission, Ran was amazed how pleasant it was, and how normal it felt. It was a dangerous illusion, he knew. They were in danger, even just sitting here in this nondescript flat, and Yohji was far from being himself, Ran knew. He longed for Schuldig to be with them, to offer his sardonic view on things, and to help ease Yohji back into his real life, something that he'd avoided by coming to London. What are you afraid of, Yohji? Ran asked himself as he got up to make a new pot of tea. What happened in Singapore that makes you so sad? He hoped Schuldig may be able to tell him. Yohji sure wasn't going to.

For the rest of the weekend, it was if the rest of the world didn't exist. Yohji rested and exercised, and got up to speed. He was disinclined to talk, and was unusually incurious about what had been happening while he'd been gone. Ran tried to bring Schuldig's name up a few times, but it only made Yohji sad, so he stopped. He decided there was no point in telling Yohji about the strange disturbance Ran had suffered while he'd been gone, since it was most likely a moot point now, although he did explain what Ken's implant did and the significance of it, something that no one had told Yohji about before, rather to Ran's surprise. Yohji agreed it was likely to be usefull and important, but again, didn't want to explore it more than what Ran offered.

This was not Yohji-like. Yohji was curious and imaginative, and always - well, normally always - concerned with what was happening with his team. But it was if he could handle one thing at a time and no more, and right now, it was the mission. He wasn't interested in sex (although he was content to be held and to hold as long as Ran would tolerate it), he wasn't interested in talking about the holiday Schuldig was planning, and he really, really didn't want to talk about Singapore.

It worried Ran, but he couldn't see how it would harm the mission, and it was, he felt, Yohji's way of dealing with the after-effects of his amnesia. In the absence of evidence that it was harmful, he decided that Yohji was the best person to decide how to handle that aspect of his recovery. Physically, he was much improved. The bruising was starting to dissipate and the pain in his shoulder was reduced, although he still needed the sling. He was moving more easily, and sleeping more restfully. He was also eating with a moderate appetite, which was good since Ken had particularly mentioned this as a concern. Provided Yohji wasn't required to carry out hand to hand in the next week or so, he should be all right, Ran thought. Walker had provided Ran with a gun and strap-on knife - Omi would have to obtain weapons for Yohji the same as all the others when they arrived.

It was Omi's arrival that was clearly preying Yohji's mind on the Sunday he was due to arrive. Already quiet, he became silent, and his abandoned smoking habit seemed to weight heavily on him. He'd declined the nicotine patches because he said it would only maintain the actual addiction, but his hands seemed restless, and Ran was becoming irritated by the constant aborted movements - not annoyed at Yohji, who could hardly help it and who had given up a difficult to break habit purely for his benefit, but at his own inability to help Yohji through this trivial but wearying behaviour cycle. But then he had a brainwave - he went to the local shop and bought a couple of pads of airmail paper and brought it back to the flat. "Ever done origami?" he asked Yohji who was sitting huddled on the sofa, wrapped in a duvet and wearing two sweaters, still suffering from the cold.

Yohji stared at him as if he had lost his mind. "Is this a trick question?"

"No. Shall I show you?"

Yohji clearly thought that it was better to humour the crazy boyfriend and watched suspiciously as Ran cut the paper to size with a knife and began to fold it. The paper wasn't ideal but soon he had a fair representation of a lily. He held it out to Yohji who took it gingerly. "Want to try?"

"Ran, are you feeling okay?"

"Look, if I have to watch you try not to reach for a packet of cigarettes again, I'll go insane. Humour me."

Yohji shook his head, but paid close attention to what Ran was doing. It took an hour for Yohji to produce a flower that didn’t look as if one of their former fangirls had trampled on it to get to one of their cute florists, but when he had, he was flushed with triumph. "Look," he said proudly. "I did it."

Ran took it and laid it carefully on the coffee table. "Yes, you did. Good work."

"I had no idea you could do that, Ran. I knew you knew a little ikebana, but origami?"

"It's not something I really think about. My mother taught me." She'd taught Ran and his sister. He hadn't touched it in years and was amazed he remembered any of it. But it had come back to him surprisingly easily, along with a few happy memories which hurt a good deal, but which were a small price to pay for keeping Yohji's over busy mind occupied.

They played with the paper for hours, whiling away the time until Omi arrived. His flight wasn't due until nearly midnight, and he had to get a cab from Heathrow. Ran tried to get Yohji to go to bed, arguing that he and Omi could talk in the morning, but Yohji wouldn't hear of it. Ran could guess a little of his agitation was due to anticipating Omi's anger, which Ran doubted would be as much as Yohji feared. But the rest... perhaps it was because their little interlude was coming to an end. Tomorrow, Yohji would begin the final stages of the mission he had undertaken months ago. Who knew how it would end?

So far as Ran could judge, Yohji was ready. If he was still in Brisbane, Omi would probably send him over as Ran's backup. But missions rarely were completely predictable, and never when Estet was involved. Ran couldn't stop his own anxieties for Yohji, although he refused to let it cripple him or send Yohji away.

Despite his determination to stay awake, Yohji was dozing lightly against Ran's shoulder when the door buzzer went, close to one o'clock in the morning, and he woke with a jerk. Ran drew his gun as precaution, and then pressed the door release. A minute later, there was a knock at the door, and Omi called out quietly. Ran let him in. Omi nodded approvingly at the gun. "It's good to see you again, Ran," he said warmly.

"The same here, Omi." He noticed that Omi had also darkened his hair, and seemed to be wearing brown contacts, as Ran had been doing on this mission.

Omi looked past him. "Yohji? How are you?"

Yohji was standing, his good arm wrapped around the bad one, looking ill at ease. "I'm okay, Omi."

Omi walked over to him. "Are you sure, Yotan?" he said gently. "You look better - lousy haircut though." Yohji grinned a little in embarrassment. "Has Ran been looking after you?"

"He's been great. Omi, I'm sorry...."

Omi reached over and put his finger on his lips. "No. Not now. I'm just glad you're okay and you're safe. Welcome back, Yohji." He put his arms carefully around Yohji, clearly mindful of his injuries, and after a moment, Yohji's good arm came around Omi too. "I'm sorry we couldn't help you."

Yohji laid his face on Omi's hair. "No, don't, kiddo. I'm all right, honest. No apologies from either of us."

"Yes."

Ran watched in discreet silence as the two friends expressed their wordless regrets, their relief at seeing the other. Finally, Omi stepped back. "You should be in bed, Yohji," he said sternly. "I understand you're starting work tomorrow and you need to be sharp. I want to talk to Ran, and brief him on certain things. He can do the same for you tomorrow while I meet Walker. So go."

Yohji raised an eyebrow. "Yes, boss," he said in a perfectly respectful voice, but ruined the effect by sticking his tongue out at Omi's back, which made Ran hide a smile behind his hand. "You two can talk about your naughty Yotan while I sleep."

"We've got better things to talk about, I assure you," Omi said dryly. "Shoo."

"I dunno, we old people don't get no respect," Yohji grumbled, but he looked the most relaxed he'd been all day. He gave Ran a brief kiss. "Don't be long, love."

"No. Go to sleep, I'll join you soon."

Omi had that glazed jet-lagged look that Ran was becoming very familiar with. "You need to sleep too, Omi."

"I'm not that bad - I actually slept on the plane. It's the temperature difference which I'm having trouble adjusting to. Is the heating working in here?"

"It's been on all day, actually. It's really rather warm in here, compared with how I normally have it."

As he sat down on the sofa, Omi looked at him with the same expression Yohji had given Ran when he'd suggested the origami. "If you say so. What's all this?' he asked curiously, picking up one of the many paper flowers lying on the coffee table.

"Displacement activity. Something for non-smoking fingers to do."

"Ah. Poor Yotan - that's a hard habit to break. I've brought the clothes for him."

"Good. Any more information about those Estet personnel?"

Omi shook his head. "No luck on the photos - you know how hard it is to get those."

"Yes, I know. You're meeting Walker?"

"Yes. He's providing us with an agent in support, and the weapons, of course. Schu's training on the surveillance equipment as we speak and Walker will supply that when he comes over at the end of the week. Ken and Louise will follow the week after, possibly, depending on how things go here. I need to check out locations first." He rubbed his eyes, and Ran was disinclined to believe claims of his lack of tiredness. "Tell me about Yohji," he said in a low voice. "I sense he's more hopeful, less disoriented. His shields are stronger, for which I'm grateful. Is he up to the mission?"

"I believe he is. He's worked hard and he's physically much stronger and in far less pain. He needed help and was wrong to refuse it. Now he has it, he's progressing much faster."

"Good. I don’t think you should blame him for what he did, Ran."

"I don't. I'm stating a fact, Omi. I can't presume to judge when I have no idea what he went through. Do you know?"

He watched Omi carefully for any sign his young leader was hiding something from him, but all he saw was tiredness. "Schuldig knows the most of all of us. Yohji got too close to Li Kwan and had to kill her - you can imagine how that played into his memories as they returned. It was a difficult, bloody end to a mission where he was under threat the entire time. I can feel that his emotions are still turbulent and he's feeling a lot of needless guilt. I was hoping your return would solve things but I guess he couldn't wait for that."

"He was expecting a reprimand, or worse."

Omi shook his head. "He's not the one who deserves it. I won't ever let anyone on Weiss have their minds played with in that way, for whatever reason. Every single time, we've had side-effects that have had enormous repercussions."

"Omi, I would be dead if Schuldig had followed that line. So might Yohji. I agree we should be circumspect in future, but is there any point in trying to rewrite history?"

"No," Omi said with a weary smile. "No, there isn’t. I truly missed you, Ran. You're a voice of reason."

"Me?" It had never occurred to Ran that anyone but Yohji or Schuldig might conceivably miss his company.

"Why are you surprised? Do you think we merely tolerate your company?"

"I... but I...I'm a prick," he blurted out, remembering the expression that had been hurled at him by nearly all the members of the team at one time or another. Never by Omi, but then Omi had sharper tools than mere abuse with which to show disapproval.

Omi's grin grew brighter. "But you're our prick, Ran. Anyway, I don't think you've been a prick for a long time. Schuldig took over from you some time ago."

"Ah. Has he been difficult?" Ran had had no contact with Schuldig since he'd gone on the mission. He missed his German lover very much.

"Yohji's return put a strain on all of us - most of all on Schuldig. I think seeing Yohji well and happy will be good for him. All of us, really."

Ran could understand that. "I know Schuldig tries his best, Omi. His new way of life is the most foreign to him of all of us."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I suffer from not being Brad Crawford, I suspect. He doesn't acknowledge a master easily - I should be grateful he pays lip service to the concept with me at all."

"He does more than that," Ran protested. "He respects you, Omi. We all do."

"Perhaps. Look, it's late, and I've got more pressing concerns. Tell me what you have planned."

Omi listened as Ran explained, and then told him about Yohji's blackout plan. "Is it possible?" Ran asked. "Neither of us know enough about the technical issues."

"Nor I, but I know a man who does. Yes, it has possibilities, certainly. But we need to identify all the Estet personnel and neutralise them - and we also need to know what mechanism, if any, is making terrorists out of ordinary young people. Your hunch about those brothers may be right - they deplaned in Munich and never caught an onward flight."

"Germany - Rosenkrüs? Agents or victims?"

"Possibly neither, but something doesn't fit. I want you and Yohji to try and get some names and statistics on students who have left suddenly, and see if any other students can offer a clue as to their fate."

Ran nodded. Ann might be able to assist, and he had other contacts. "The disks?"

Omi frowned. "We're missing something. There's a rogue signal, certainly. Your peculiar sensitivities seemed to be the only ones affected directly by it - but the fact it exists means there's something else to find. I'm going to ask Walker to get Alex's home PC analysed - it was faulty logic to assume the disks were the only thing that might be important. But there has to be something else." He tapped his fingers impatiently, but then sighed. "My brain is fried."

Ran put his hand on his shoulder. "Then go to bed. I'll see you in the morning before we go to the college. Omi - one question. Ken and Louise - are you sure they should be coming?"

"Not completely, no. But they are." Omi suddenly seemed to shed his leader persona, lose all his confidence. "I doubt everything I do these days, Ran. I just don't think I should be leading Weiss. Perhaps you should consider taking the role on."

"Not without a solid attempt to make you realise you're wrong, Omi. But if you feel so unsure, why are you bringing them over?"

He shrugged. "They seemed certain, Schuldig seemed certain. I had my reasons, but now I wonder if my desire to have my entire team at my disposal is anything but ego."

"Then it must be my ego too, because I think it makes sense. My hesitancy about them is purely practical - but there are undoubted benefits. I trust you to have weighed up those against the risks, as they will have done. They came to the same conclusions." He increased his grip on Omi's shoulder. "You need a holiday, Omi. You're not incompetent, you're tired. There's a huge difference."

Omi raised his eyebrows and then grinned. "Definitely my voice of reason. Where's my room?"

"Let me show you."

Ten minutes later, as he slipped under the covers next to a soundly sleeping Yohji, Ran thought that everything he'd been doing in London to this point was merely a dress rehearsal. What was that expression that Schuldig sometimes used? Ah yes. "It's show time, folks," he whispered into the dark.

Chapter Text

"How do people live in this damn city?" Yohji asked out of the side of his mouth, trying to avoid contact with the other passengers on the bus and the filthy, hair-grease-and-other-substances-one-shouldn't-ask-about-smeared windows.

"I'm not sure," Ran said with a small grin. Yohji had seen very little of London except for a rather drab part of Surbiton, and so far, his fastidious nature had not been impressed.

Ran was just pleased he was up to complaining, and that he was standing and moving almost normally, the sling the only thing that prevented complete ease of mobility. He was as ready for the mission as Ran could make him. He'd given Yohji as much background as he could on the teaching supervision he would be required to do and on the ESOL classes – Yohji wasn't looking forward to this aspect of his cover, he knew, but he would cope with it as he had the florist job. Possibly better, because he was so focussed – focussed, Ran rather thought, more than he needed to be, as if he was using the mission to push other thoughts out of his consciousness. It was a technique Ran often used – but it wasn't typical of Yohji.

Still, Ran could not complain just because his partner was actually fully prepared and aware. Today would be orientation for Yohji on both fronts. It was just the two of them for now. Omi had been still asleep when they'd left – Ran knew he was going to the University to 'enrol', after first meeting Walker before lunch. They would all meet up that evening.

Ran escorted Yohji to the office – it was important to strike the right note in public, that of new acquaintances who had become friendly, but of nothing more. Thus he affected only slight interest in Yohji's flirty conversation with the secretary, and Mrs Kurtz's over-solicitous enquiries about his health, and tamped down the prickle of jealousy with the ease of long practice. It was only to be expected that Yohji's charm would have its effect on the females he met. After all, Ran was not immune – why should anyone else be?

He took Yohji to the common room – not properly a staff room, since there were too many tutors for that, but an area where they could eat their lunch and talk without needing to fend off student enquiries. Ann was there, and greeted Ran enthusiastically. He introduced her to his companion. "This is Kamiya Yohji, Ann. Kamiya Yohji-san, kono hito wa Thurfield Ann-san desu."

She bowed correctly. "Hajimemashite, Kamiya-san.

Yohji smiled and held his hand out. "Nice to meet you, Miss."

She blushed and shook his hand quickly. "Oh. Your English is so good."

"Thanks. You speak Japanese pretty well too."

"Are you a friend of Ran's from Japan?"

"No, I only met him on Thursday. He's been kind enough to help me and offer me somewhere to stay while I get settled in. Are you a student or a tutor?"

"Oh, I'm both. Ran, I got onto the accelerator course – I can start tomorrow. That means I have to drop your classes," she said regretfully. "But I'll still see you around the campus, I hope."

"That's good, Ann. I'm sure you will do very well, and I would like to hear more abut the course when you're done," Ran said with complete honesty. "I'm afraid we can't stay to talk at the moment, as Yohji is going to sit in on the class I'm giving this morning. He's starting as a tutor this week."

"Oh good, then you'll be around for a while," she said cheerfully. "Talk to you later, Ran – you too, Yohji."

"I look forward to that," Yohji said with a twinkle in his eye, and she blushed before rushing off. "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend," he teased in a low voice.

Ran made a face at him. "Not for long, if you're going to have that effect on her. Come on, the class starts in five minutes."

Yohji was installed in a spare seat while the class progressed. All Ran really had to do was check attendance, start the students on the exercise for the class, and then walk around the room, making sure they weren't having difficulties. It wasn't really teaching, although the students benefited from having a native Japanese speaker to ask questions of.

It lasted an hour and Yohji was clearly bored by the end of it. "Is that it? I'm surprised they even pay you," he said as they walked towards the canteen for tea.

"There are advanced conversation classes as well. I take three of those – there's a specialist one for business people which I've been asked to take as well. You'll just be doing supervision until you go on the orientation course. After that, they'll probably give you a couple of advanced to teach of your own."

"It all seems fairly straightforward," he said in a neutral voice.

"Yes, it does."

Ran paid for tea and biscuits. The canteen was filling up slowly – they were a little early for the main break, which is why Ran wanted to get his tea now. He would have to abandon Yohji in half an hour to attend his own ESOL class. Yohji was in a different stream, and would not start until tomorrow, but he had been encouraged to go to one of the computer labs and run through some preparatory exercises. In the meantime, he would get used to the campus and see if he could spot anything Ran may have overlooked, and try and make contacts.

Which proved easier than even Ran could have hoped. As they were finishing up, a woman came up to their table. "Oh, Ran, good morning."

Ran stood up to greet their visitor. "Hello, Susan. Did you enjoy Bonn?"

"Not particularly – it was too cold. Who's your friend?"

Yohji stood and held his hand out politely. "Yohji Kamiya, Miss...?"

Their visitor was one of the core staff of permanent teachers and course directors hired by the college, the people who prepared the course materials and organised the curriculum. She had been in charge of Ran's orientation group. "I'm Susan Blyth-Jones. Are you a new student, Yohji?"

"Yes but I've been hired as a tutor as well, teaching Japanese like Ran."

"That's good. I was hoping we'd get another Japanese tutor or two soon. How are your ESOL studies going, Ran?"

"Very well, thank you. I am finding the course excellent. Speaking of which, I have to go or I'll be late. Yohji, I'll meet you for lunch – can you find the computer labs on your own?"

"I can show him, Ran," Susan said quickly. "I was just going to drink my coffee and head that way. If Yohji would like to wait, I can show him."

"That would be kind, thank you," Yohji said, giving her the full force of a bright smile. "I'm in no hurry. I'll be okay, Ran – I'll see you back here at one."

Ran nodded and walked away. He was slightly surprised at the woman's offer – indeed, that she'd seemed to go out of her way to talk to them. There were so many tutors who passed through so quickly, he'd got the impression that the permanent staff rather tended to ignore them. He glanced back and saw Yohji in close conversation with Blyth-Jones. Well, at least Yohji was off to a good start.

He wished he'd enrolled in a more advanced course – the one he was on was far too easy, and he was bored by it. But ESOL was far and away the most popular course on offer, and he'd judged it the one most likely to be used by young graduates on their travels, and the one most likely to be used, if any were being so used, to recruit students to Estet. He was beginning to see that he needed to somehow get access to materials in use on other courses, and planned to use Yohji and Omi to help him obtain it.

As he came out of his class, he caught an odd movement to his left and then, as he turned, he saw a male student angrily shove another away with a hand on the other man's chest. The second man knocked his hand away angrily, and then balled up his fist. Ran acted instinctively, coming quickly up behind the man closest to him and grabbing his hand before it could make contact. "What are you doing?" he said, forcing the man backwards, swinging him around and ducking as the guy's free hand flew towards his face.

His attacker gave an inarticulate growl and tried to get out of his grip – it was laughably easy to control him and push him up against the wall. "Stop it – what's going on?"

His captive seemed to ignore him, staring past him to the person he'd tried to hit. "You're a fucking wanker, Hussein!"

"Pathetic, Ali – you think you're S-Class material? You'll probably drop out before the exams. Fuck off."

Ran risked a quick look behind him and saw the other young man striding off – his moment of distraction gave his prisoner the opportunity to launch himself from the wall and try to get away. Ran kept a firm hold on the man's – kid's – shirt. ""Back off," he said firmly.

The kid shook his hand off. "Let go of me, you slitty-eyed git," he yelled and before Ran could stop him, he sped off. His would-be victim was out of sight – he would have to fend for himself, since he'd not stayed to help clear the matter up.

What was all that about? No one had really paid them any attention – it had all happened so fast. But the two students were younger than the other people milling around – now he thought about it, they must be language students from the University next door. Both Indian, both nineteen or twenty by their looks, full of pumping testosterone – but what was this S-Class and why was it so special?

He resolved to find out. He straightened his clothes and picked up his dropped briefcase. Now it was as if nothing whatsoever had occurred. Odd.

Yohji was late, and apologetic. "Sorry, sorry, I was chatting."

"No need to apologize, it's what you're here to do, " Ran said mildly. "How are you feeling?" he added in a low voice. Yohji seemed okay but he needed to be sure.

"I'm fine. Bored, that's all. Sure are a lot of people here."

"Hmmm. Go get your food, I'll hold the table."

While he was waiting, Ann and another girl came over. "On your own, Ran? Can we join you?"

"You're welcome, but Yohji is coming back."

"Oh, that's okay. Ran, this is Yvette – she's from Marseille."

Ran greeted Ann's friend politely, and listened to them tell him about their classes, and how Yvette had been hoping to apply for a teaching job but they didn’t need any more French tutors. Yohji joined them and immediately became the object of their attention, which Yohji bore with his typical good humour – he, at least, never had any difficulty fitting in or making friends. Ran wasn't really sure how Yohji did it – he thought it might be more what he didn't do, but he certainly didn’t have the knack that Yohji did.

During a lull in the conversation, he asked the two girls if either of them had heard of "S-Class." Both shook their heads. "No, never, Ran. What is that, some kind of club?"

Yohji was watching him intently as he answered. "I have no idea. I overheard two students arguing and one mentioned it. I think they were from the University, not the college."

"Oh, well, who knows what they get up to? They're just kids," Ann said dismissively, from the advanced age of twenty two. "What are you up to this afternoon, Yohji?"

"More preparation, I think. I have to teach my first class tomorrow. You're teaching, aren't you, Ran?"

"Yes, and I have to get moving. I'm still curious about this S-Class thing, though, Ann, so if you hear anything...?"

"Sure, Ran. Yohji, if you're at a loose end, come along to the common room and I'll introduce you to the other tutors." As she answered, Yohji nodded slightly at Ran, getting his unnecessary hint.

Ran left them there, planning Yohji's day for him. It had been a while since Yohji had had fangirls, he thought with a small smile. He could be jealous, he supposed, but Ann and Yvette were definitely not Yohji's type.

Through the afternoon, in between classes, as he spoke to students or fellow teachers, he casually introduced the topic of S-Class but was met with the same blank looks. No one had heard of it. Perhaps it was nothing to do with the Sivasothy course – but why were those two students bringing their argument onto the college grounds?

This whole mission was like fighting shadows. Hints here, suspicions there – but nothing concrete, nothing a man could cut with his katana or put an honest boot into. Ran hated undercover work. Being a spy was not what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He was sick of this sneaking around, pretending to be what he was not, never fully engaging because he was always watching. At least with Yohji here he could be honest, be himself, when he was off duty. But it was no way to live.

His frustration had put him into a bad mood, and that was exacerbated when he checked his cell phone's voicemail and found Yohji had left a message to say he'd been invited to go for drinks with some of the students and would be late back. Ran had been at the college for a month and the most he'd been asked to do was go to lunch occasionally – Yohji was there a day and he was already the toast of the student population. Schuldig had said once they should bottle what Yohji had. Ran would be glad to soak in it if it got him away from this filthy town and this run down college even one minute faster.

Omi was already in the flat and making stew for supper. "Hi, Ran," he said chirpily, before he seemed to notice Ran's mood. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. How did you get on?"

The flat was overwarm again – Ran was glad he wasn't paying the heating bills. Then by some obscure mental loop in his brain, that caused him to suddenly wonder who would look after his garden in Brisbane with them all away, and he scowled at this additional insult to his happiness. Of course, Omi noticed that. "Did something happen today? Where's Yohji?"

"Mingling," Ran said curtly. "Nothing happened. What did Walker say?"

Omi poured Ran some green tea – actually the real thing, not out of a tea bag, so he surmised Omi had found the Asian market in New Malden, or else had managed to squeeze a visit to Chinatown in around his appointments – and the familiar taste soothed his temper a little. "He'll see what he can do. The black out idea may work, but there are a few logistical problems to solve first. He's located a house in Richmond which has a garage and ground floor access – Ken and Louise will be able to stay there. I haven't decided about Schuldig but I think he may have to live elsewhere. As for surveillance, his man is making enquiries about an empty shop on Surbiton High Street. Quite close to the college, I checked it out this afternoon. We can set up listening equipment there with a little planning."

"And the course?"

"I'm on it, and also enrolled in an English booster course through the college, because the poor little Japanese boy's English not so good, mister," he said with a grin. Omi's English was as good as or better than Schuldig's, and getting more idiomatic by the day thanks to his continued contact with the Australians. "But I won't start that until next week. It's certainly a big campus."

"It's a tough place to keep a check on, that's for sure." Ran explained what he'd witnessed today. "No one's heard of S-Class. Something for you to look out for."

"Yes, I will. So Yohji's settled in?"

"He's a huge hit," Ran said sourly.

Omi laughed. "That's our Yotan. Ran – he knows about the Rosenkrüs people, right?"

"Of course. But since neither you nor I know who they are, all he can do is maintain his cover, which he's doing." Ran sat down at the small kitchen table. Whatever Omi was cooking smelled good – it was nice to contemplate an evening meal that he'd not had to make himself. It was just nice to have company, he thought, and then wondered why he did, when he'd just had three days with Yohji.

"Ran, what's bothering you?"

Empathy is a pain in the arse, Ran recalled Schuldig saying, and now agreed with the sentiment. "Nothing, really. I just... wish the mission was done. I thought when Yohji came back, I'd be home with him, with Schu."

Omi nodded, his expression sympathetic. "Yes, I know. Still, with all of us here, it surely won't take long to solve this. Schuldig will probably take a single stroll through the campus, read the right minds and we'll have Epitaph in our hands. Then we can go back."

"Damn ASIO for keeping him off missions for so long. It was such a waste, Omi."

"Yes, I know, but even though they've agreed to him coming on this one, Ran, don’t count on that happening very often. If Walker hadn't been prepared to make every concession possible to find out what happened to his people, MI6 would have blocked him coming over. It's only because Ken is travelling with him that they didn't make a fuss."

Ran smiled tiredly. "And does Schuldig know that?"

"Yes. He doesn't really blame them, he says. We frighten people."

Looking at Omi with his bright smile and big, innocent eyes, it was hard to imagine him scaring anyone – but Omi could read people nearly as well as Schuldig, although his gift had no offensive characteristics. Unlike Schuldig, Omi couldn't make someone's brain dribble out their ears. But with his wit and intelligence, he hardly needed to. Omi, Ran knew, was destined for great things. Much bigger than Weiss.

Since Omi was not finished cooking, Ran pulled The Guardian out of his briefcase and began to read the tabloid pull-out, which had all the commentary articles. He often found newspapers and journalism so very amusing in an ironic way – so much speculation about why this politician had resigned, why that public spokesperson had suddenly changed their stance, why this or that company had made an apparently irrational decision. All too often the answer was directly, or indirectly to do with Estet. Either Estet had caused the change, or one of the government bodies around the world dedicated to fighting it had had a small victory in forcing out a corrupt official, or closing down a cell of operation. Those were rare, unfortunately. The world's media had no idea. But one day, Ran hoped, the truth would come out. Exposing Estet was as important as destroying it, Schuldig had told them. It just needed to be very carefully timed.

"Ran, when did Yohji say he would be back?"

Ran looked at his watch – it was nearly seven. "He didn't. He may have been invited to go for a meal, I suppose."

"He's got the tracer on him? The alert button?"

"Yes. I wouldn't be concerned, Omi. He's doing what he does best – making friends."

Omi smiled. "Yes, of course. In that case, shall we eat?"

Ran agreed. The food was good and warming, and Omi seemed much happier for it – there was still no let up in the cold weather, and there had even been some flakes of snow in the middle of the day. More was predicted later in the week. His team had chosen the worst possible time to come over from their comfort point of view. "Louise's condition won't pose a problem, will it, Omi?"

Omi laid his spoon down and began to butter a piece of bread. "I can't see why it would. I left the decision to them – Ken knows how protective he will be, but I won't be placing either of them in the front line. It's a trade off between his protectiveness and his distraction if he's not with her."

"So it's not really like old times, is it?" Ran murmured.

"No. It never will be again, Ran. We knew that when we found out Ken's spine was broken. Weiss changed that day and we can't get it back the way it was."

"Yes, I know that. I just hope Ken isn't expecting too much from being back in the field."

Omi took a bite of his bread and took his time answering. "Ken has other priorities now, Ran. I honestly think he would have stayed back without a complaint if I'd changed my mind. If I didn't think we might need him, I definitely would have done so. Being part of Weiss doesn't mean being a killer any more – or even going on missions. And I for one am glad of that."

"And I. I hate killing."

Omi seemed to find the remaining bread on his plate rather fascinating. What had he said? Ran wondered.

"What could Walker tell you about the firms which do the cleaning and the security?" Omi asked.

"Ah. Both firms are actually owned by Sivasothy subsidiaries, something that the college seems not to want to advertise. Schuldig will have to use his telepathy to get employment with them."

"They don't want unvetted strangers walking around the campus at night."

"Apparently not. But they don't seem too bothered about students strolling freely around during the day. I've been all over that campus and seen nothing untoward."

"But not the university?"

"No. That's your job," Ran said. "Walker will have Alex's computer analysed?"

"Yes. They had taken it away and done a preliminary check, but they'll look again with the idea that the disks are interacting with something on it. The problem is, it may be something she was looking at on the internet – or nothing. If it weren't for that signal, there'd be no reason to suspect those disks at all." Omi drummed his fingers. "We must see if Yohji can feel anything as well, if you detect any oddities with any other material we can get hold of."

Ran nodded and then cleared the table.

After supper, Omi worked on his computer while Ran read the newspaper and then watched the late news. It was eleven before Yohji finally returned. "Sorry I'm late," he said quietly. Ran came over to help him take his coat off – he stank of smoke and he was shivering. "I got an invitation to go out with the girls and I thought I'd better take it." Ran's look must have told him that he was expecting him to call. "Figured you'd know what I was up to," he added by explanation.

He looked unutterably weary and sad, and Ran was suddenly furious that Yohji had been reduced to this by inconsiderate strangers. Had no one realised how unfit he was, that he still needed to rest and recover? "Yes, we did," Ran said rather more bitingly than he'd intended to. Omi's head turned his way. "You should shower – you smell." Not just of smoke, Ran realised. The slightly burned reek of pizza clung to him, and Ran's nose wrinkled in disgust as he detected spilled beer. "Your clothes will need washing."

"I'll deal with it," Yohji said roughly. "I can handle things, Ran. Go on back to what you were doing."

"I'm finished," Ran said. "Now I'm helping you."

"I don't need help." Yohji pushed away his hand and walked off to the bathroom.

Ran clenched his fists in frustration. "He's just doing his job," Omi said mildly.

"Then maybe he needs a job that doesn't mean him having to whore himself out," Ran snapped.

Omi frowned. "That's an awful thing to say, Ran! How can you...Yohji's not a whore!"

Ran turned to him. "No. He isn't. So why is Weiss making him one?"

"You're overreacting and he's upset by that, not what he's doing for the mission."

"He shouldn't even be here," Ran said from between clenched teeth, wondering why his anger had risen so quickly and so violently. "We're endangering him, letting him stay."

Omi sighed and rubbed his forehead. "The time for these second thoughts has passed, Ran, and I don't see any reason for you to suddenly doubt him. You said yourself – he's making contacts."

"He's injured, Omi. Look at him. One day on the job and he's exhausted."

"And his lover is being snotty to him on top of that. It must suck to be Yohji right now." Omi glared at him, arms folded in stiff disapproval.

Ran stalked off to the bathroom, where he found Yohji stripped to the waist, staring at his reflection in the mirror. The bruising seemed more ghastly than ever, although the lurid colours were actually a sign that he was healing. "What do you see, Ran?" he murmured without turning around. "Do you see the mark?" He turned around slowly to lean on the sink. "They don't see the mark she left on me. But it's there."

Which 'she' did he mean? Ran wondered. "I just see someone who's tired and pushed himself too hard today." He made his voice gentle and approached his lover carefully, as if Yohji might spook. He put his arms around Yohji's bare waist. His skin was cool, and smelled faintly of the bar stinks. "I was just worried about you."

Yohji's good arm came around him, and he felt Yohji rest his face on the top of Ran's head. "Ran, do you know why you don't make friends easily?"

Ran started, wondering if Yohji had somehow been able to read his thoughts earlier in the day. "No."

"You think people will change you. You're afraid of being marked by them. You keep people away because you don't believe you're strong enough to stay the same."

"And you do?"

Yohji's arms tightened briefly. "People can only change you if you let them. They mark you when you let them. My scars ... are self-inflicted."

Ran felt another burst of anger, but this time it was at Yohji himself. "That's not true, Yohji. Li Kwan harmed you and you had no choice!"

Yohji pushed himself back from Ran and looked down at him with sad, green eyes. "Remember I asked you to forgive me for what I had to do? That's one of the things, Ran. Just...." He raised a gentle hand and stroked it down Ran's hair, whisper soft. "Don't hate me. Even if you can't forgive, please don't hate me."

"Never could, " Ran said, his voice clogged by tears he was too ashamed to shed, aching for the pain in Yohji's voice. "Yohji, I love you. Always."

"But if you forgot me? I forgot you, Ran. I... never thought anyone could do that. When we asked Schu...I didn't think I would really forget you. Not really. But I did," he said, sounding almost amazed at this fact. "It was all gone. Such a powerful thing, and yet it was taken. What if it had never come back?"

"Then I would have brought you back without it," Ran said, his heart hammering. Yohji's words had the sound of prophecy to his ears, even though he was talking about the past. "I swear that."

"Thank you." Another gentle touch and then Yohji gave him a rueful smile. "I'm freezing my ass off here. Mind if I get into the shower?"

Ran almost offered to help him, but there was something in Yohji's eyes that told him that his lover wanted some privacy. All he did was scoop up the soiled clothes Yohji had taken off or was now discarding – one of the very few luxuries the flat offered was a new washer/dryer, so he could wash the clothes and Yohji would not suffer for their lack. "I'll wait for you in bed."

Yohji raised a hand in acknowledgement, and Ran closed the door behind him. Yohji's physical wounds may have begun to heal, but Ran now realised that the emotional damage had not even scabbed over yet. He regretted now that he had not sent him home. All he could do was handle Yohji with a little more finesse and consideration than he had managed tonight, selfish fool that he was, and hope that when Schuldig arrived, between them, they could offer Yohji a safe haven in which to recover.

A safe haven on a mission. Ran thought he must be losing his mind.

Even with Schuldig wangling them an upgrade to business through the powers of his 'persuasion', and even with the sleep they'd got, Ken still felt he'd been clubbed over the head by the time he and Louise arrived at Heathrow airport at the astonishingly uncivilised time of five thirty in the morning. It was only because Louise kept telling him how much better it had been than travelling economy that Ken felt privileged in any way, and he privately vowed that in future he would stick to the southern hemisphere rather than face such a trip again.

Schuldig had travelled in the economy section of the same flight, never making physical contact with either of them, but touching Ken's mind from time to time during the flight to check on them. He'd also helped them sleep most of the leg from Singapore to London, for which Louise promised to kiss Schuldig when she saw him next. Ken and Louise disembarked before the other passengers because of his being in a wheelchair, and were taken by passenger transport to the baggage hall. Louise seemed to think that travelling with a paraplegic made things a lot easier. "Glad I'm some damn use," Ken grouched. She patted his hand and laid her head on his shoulder briefly in apology.

[Calm down, KenKen,] Schuldig said cheerfully. [You'll be out of the airport soon and then you can relax.]

[That MI6 guy meet you yet?]

[No, I'm still walking to the baggage hall because unlike some people, I'm not getting any special treatment. I'll let you know when he spots me.]

Ken was glad Louise had done all this kind of thing before, and she took the passport control and the customs area in her stride. They bought coffee in the terminal 'to catch their breath', he told her out loud, but really so they could wait until Schuldig confirmed that their contact, Errol Foster, had met up with him. Schuldig was not going to stay with them, but they would all meet in the house that MI6 had arranged for Ken and Louise. Errol was apparently going to stay in the house too – he was going to drive Schuldig there himself, while Ken and Louise caught a cab.

It was freezing bloody cold, Ken realised. Ran had warned them it had been an unusually sharp winter by London standards, so they'd all rugged up, but after the unchanging, slightly too warm microclimate of the plane and the terminal, the chill hit them like a slap to the face. He was grateful to find that there was no shortage of taxis even at this ungodly hour – and was rather amused by the odd shape of the vehicles. Within a couple of minutes, Louise was giving the cabbie the address of the house in Richmond where they were staying, and they were being driven through the pre-dawn light. "Grotty looking, isn't it?" she whispered, perhaps afraid of offending the driver, as she peered out the window at the endless succession of rundown brick and concrete building they were passing.

"Schu says all cities look bad driving from the airport. I just hope they've got good heating in that house."

Even though they had hardly dallied, they were met at the house by a tall, good-looking black man who helped them with their luggage and Ken's chair, and who introduced himself as Errol Foster. Schuldig was making tea. He looked tired but then he could have hardly made himself sleep the way he had done for them. Louise gave him the promised kiss on the cheek and took over the tea making. Errol took their bags out of the living room and when he returned, took the offered mug of tea. "Welcome to the UK, Mr and Mrs Saki," he said politely. "Sorry it's so cold for you."

"MI6 control the weather too, then?" Ken said sarcastically. Schuldig hid a grin behind his tea cup but Foster revealed nothing by his expression. "When is Omi coming over?"

"He should be here soon." He pulled out a folder from his backpack. "Local information, shops, doctors, transport, that kind of thing. The car is in the garage, all ready and fuelled up. The house has supplies for a week. Broadband access in this room, printer as you can see, connection details are in the folder. When Mr Homura arrives, we can go over the details of the site and what Mr Schumacher here will be doing."

"Have I got time to freshen up before Omi arrives?" Louise asked.

"Omi will wait for you, Schatzi," Schuldig said. "You too, Ken."

Ken took the hint and followed Louise out of the room. To his relief, the house's bathroom was fully disabled friendly as he'd been told – he'd really not been looking forward to struggling with a hotel-style bathroom. The bedroom was small but comfortable-looking – no special facilities to help him in or out of the bed but he had Louise to assist him. "How are you feeling, love?" he asked her.

"Like I can still feel the plane vibrating. My feet feel the size of footballs. No wonder Ran hates flying." She came over and gave him a kiss. "Let me use the loo and then I can help you shower."

It was a vast relief to be able to change his clothes and get clean, to remove the stale smells of the aircraft from his body, and to humidify his sinuses. They'd been well-warned by Schuldig about the insults plane travel would deliver to their bodies, and Ken could only assume they had got off very lightly – but he really didn't want to repeat the experience anytime soon.

When they came out, they heard voices in the kitchen. Omi was there, sitting at the table and looking perky as he held a mug of tea. He greeted them warmly and enquired after their welfare. Ken only had one question. "How's Yohji? When can we see him?"

"He's much improved physically," Omi said. "As for seeing him, you can't have him here – even Schu being here is risky but we need to discuss some matters before Errol takes him to his own flat – but Ran is planning to take Yohji and me to Kew Gardens tomorrow and it will be possible for you to 'accidentally' run into him. As fellow Japanese, you would naturally fall into conversation, right?"

"Right," Ken said dryly.

"Kitten, I can't do that," Schuldig pointed out.

"No. You will have to make other arrangements but we can talk about that later. Right now, let me brief you about the college."

Louise began to make some sketchy notes as Omi explained, although he gave them each a folder with full information to read before destroying it. He told them that progress had been slow, but that even in a week, they had garnered useful information. They had discovered the existence of 'S-class' which seemed to be a secret, unofficial student fraternity, whose membership was limited to a very select, small number of students from various courses at the university. There seemed to be a connection with the college-run courses, but so far, hard facts had been hard to come by.

"Schu, that's definitely where you can help. You need to get employment with Nexal cleaners so you can move around the college and plant the listening devices. Walker is doing what he can to create a vacancy – if you show up on Monday, they will be looking for a person with experience and guess what? You're it." Schuldig grinned wolfishly, and Ken imagined he was looking forward to some mischief making after so long a time of being good. "Unfortunately, the cleaners only work nights, so you won't be much use in scanning the personnel. We just can't risk you being found on the campus during the day, not at least until we've got some idea who's Estet and especially where Groener is. Ken, Errol will be setting up the listening station in Surbiton – he can take you both up there later to show you. You three will be responsible for monitoring the bugs when Schu gets things into place, which probably won't happen until next week."

He stopped and sipped from his tea. "Yohji has begun to socialise with one of the permanent staff teachers and we're hoping he will be able to gather some leads. Ran...."

"Yohji's dating?" Ken asked, shocked. This was the guy who looked like hammered shit the last time Ken had seen him. "Isn't Ran having kittens?"

"He's making contacts, and Ran understands that," Omi said, fixing Ken with a steely glare.

"But he's still injured...."

"He's a professional, Ken," Omi snapped, in a not too subtle hint to stop arguing in front of the MI6 guy who was listening to the back and forth with a blank expression. Schuldig wasn't saying anything either, Ken noted. "Anyway, we need to identify the Estet personnel as quickly as we can because we need to pick them up at the same time as we destroy Epitaph. Ken, you and Louise will form the point of contact between Weiss and MI6 from now on. Errol here is at your disposal and will report to Mr Walker. Do you want to add anything, Errol?"

"No, Mr Homura. I'll make sure Schumacher has the equipment and take your operatives to Surbiton today to show them the site."

"Good. Schu, Errol will take you over to your flat – it's not wonderful, I'm afraid."

"There's a surprise," he said with heavy sarcasm. Omi frowned, but Ken got the impression it was because Schuldig was having a mental conversation with him rather than because he was annoyed. Finally, Schuldig nodded. "Shall we go?"

He and Errol stood. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't let anyone into the house who isn't me or one of your team," Errol warned.

Ken rolled his eyes at the unnecessary advice as they left. "Do they think we're idiots?" he asked Omi.

"Perhaps he doesn’t think we keep our minds on the job, Ken. What the hell are you doing arguing about Ran and Yohji in front of someone like that?"

"It's a crime to worry about my team mates now?" Ken glared at his boss.

"Ran and Yohji are here as agents, Ken. Ran's feelings about Yohji's actions are not up for speculation in front of Foster and that's it. Gods." He ran his hand through his dark hair. It made him look older, Ken thought. "Anything else?"

Louise cleared her throat. "Omi, maybe I could get a job at the University too? As a temp or something?"

Ken looked at her in surprise – she'd never mentioned any thought of doing this. Omi put his cup down before he answered. "No, that's not what I want you doing, Louise. You're not here as an undercover operative, and you never will be if I have any say in it. Weiss is not going to take any more untrained people and throw them in at the deep end."

"I just thought...."

"No. I understand your eagerness, but that's not your role on the team. As individuals, we all do different things, and we don't always work together, but Weiss is always there as backup, as emotional support for us all. You don't need to be in the field to do that. Do you understand?" She nodded, but with a certain lack of enthusiasm, it seemed to Ken. Omi looked at his watch. "I better get going. Errol has given you all the contact information you need. He'll give you tracers to put on your clothes, which all of us will be wearing. He must know where you are going at all times, even if he's not with you, as he won't be most of the time."

"Is he going undercover?" Louise asked.

"No, he'll have no overt contact with the college or the three of us at all. I hope you will work well together. He's an excellent operative – Walker spoke very highly of him. He was also a good friend of the agent who died in the car crash, so he's got a personal interest in solving this." He stood. "I'm glad you're both here," he said with a smile. "I hope we'll all be home together before too long. I'll see you on the weekend, if not before. I'll let you know what Ran's planning. I'll let myself out."

"Oh, Omi – can you take something back for Ran?" Ken nodded at Louise who fetched the box from the bedroom.

Omi examined the case, and looked at them, perplexed. "What on earth...? Ran's sword? Are you nuts? Why?"

"Um, I ... er... thought it would cheer him up. Like a good luck charm thing, kinda," Ken said, embarrassed. Louise had argued much the same way Omi had, but Ken had insisted on bringing the sword. Now he felt really stupid for doing so.

"I'm sure he'll appreciate the thought but it's rather unnecessary," Omi said, even as he tucked the sword case under his arm. "He has a gun and it's not like he can carry this openly."

"He's not allowed to carry a gun but he does," Ken pointed out. Omi just shook his head in annoyance. "See you later. Tell Yohji we're thinking about him and we miss him."

"For sure," Louise added. Omi agreed and left.

Louise put the kettle back on, and there was a familiar stiffness to the line of her back as she stood at the sink. Ken thought his leader had pissed his wife off. "What's up, Lou?"

She turned and glared at him. "What am I, the little woman keeping the damn lamp in the window? Tying yellow ribbons around the old oak tree for when my soldier man comes home?"

"Well, if you are, so am I, I guess. Lou, he's only saying it how it is. If Weiss was how we used to be, you'd have to go on missions and be prepared to kill in order for us to accept you. Omi won't ever let you do that. None of us will."

"Ken...."

"I'm sorry, love, but that's true."

She turned back around and began to rinse the mugs. "So because I've never killed anyone, Omi will never take me seriously and I'm never going to be really 'Weiss' no matter how much bull you talk about me being on the damn team."

Oh, boy. "No, that's not true. Whether you've killed or not isn't important – I mean, it is important because I'm really glad you haven't... but it doesn't matter because that Weiss doesn't really exist. We're not an assassin unit any more."

She threw the dishcloth into the sink and turned to glare at him again. "So why do you all keep going on about Weiss this and Weiss that? Does it mean anything at all? Don't lie to me and say it doesn't, Ken, because it does."

"Weiss matters, of course it does. But what we do for a living doesn't, not any more. Yeah, the four – five – of us are tied by experience and history and when you kill alongside a man it changes things for both of you." Her mouth tightened. Intellectually, she'd accepted what they had all done – but it was still not something she liked to talk about. Fair enough – Ken didn't like pointing it out. "That would never go away even if we hated each other. Even before Schuldig became Ran and Yohji's lover, there was a bond between Weiss and Schwarz that outsiders could never have."

"So I'm always going to be an outsider, is that what you're saying?"

"No, it's not!" Ken said, exasperated. "Look, you've heard me, Omi, call Weiss our family, heard me call Yohji my brother – did you just think that was like a metaphor or something?"

She frowned a little, apparently confused. "I guess I thought you thought of them as your mates. Best mates. Aren't they?"

"Yeah, of course they are. But Weiss is my family. Literally. Just like your mum and dad and your brothers and sister are yours. They're the only one I've ever had – when the baby is born, he or she is going to have three Japanese uncles and a German one – for real. Omi feels the same, and I bet Yohji and Ran do too. Which doesn't just make you their team mate, Lou. You're their sister-in-law." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Words weren't powerful enough for his feelings and he wished Schuldig was there to pump his thoughts direct from his mind to hers. "You joined our team as support, to work with us behind the scenes, but the most important thing is that you've been invited into our family. Just the same as I joined yours the day we were married. That’s what that letter meant. Omi was saying, they were all saying you belong to us. Kin."

"Like a clan?"

"Yeah," he said with relief at finding the right word. "Clan Weiss. That's all you need to do, Louise. Be accepted as family, just the way Schu is, and be loyal to us, the way he is. The important thing to Omi and me is that Ran and Yohji love Schuldig. The important thing to them is that I love you. You're not ever going to live the way we did or have to do the things I did, thank the gods. Even if we needed that, Omi doesn’t want you in danger, and the gods know that Schuldig and Yohji would tear me into teeny tiny pieces if I ever let you try. It's not because you're a woman. Not mostly, anyway," he added with scrupulous honesty. "You don't want to know what they'd do if our kid was hurt."

She gave him a small smile. "So just because you're all superheroes, doesn't make me one?"

"It means you don't need to be one. Anyway, Omi and Schu are the only real superheroes, and Schu's the only one who can do anything amazing. You should have seen that kid on their team, Nagi. Schu's fast and he can look like he's flying but Nagi could move buildings."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. It was scary as hell watching him toss shit around. The rest of us are just ordinary guys who got sucked into a mess." He beckoned her over and she came to stand in front of him. He put his arms around her hips, and laid his head over where the new life inside her was nestling, safe and sound. "We all need Weiss, Lou, and Omi needs it more than any of us. Not for lamps in a window, not for ribbons – he needs all five of us as his family, because who else does he have? Even his real family screwed him over – but he knows we wouldn't do that, and he knows you wouldn't either."

"No, I wouldn't. I'm sorry, I'm being a whiny brat. I just wanted to help you guys. It sounded like things were so hard." She bent and kissed his head. "Getting airs and graces, Mum would say."

"No, you weren't, you were doing what any of us would do if we thought the others were in trouble. Omi wouldn't want to upset you about this. He means well, you know. He just sometimes doesn't say things the best way he could." He looked at his watch. "Holy shit, it's seven am. I should still be in bed!" If he was this tired with twelve hours sleep, what would he be like without it, he wondered.

She looked down at him and grinned suddenly, the tense moment gone, he was glad to see. She wasn't one to dwell on an argument, or thrash things to death, for which he was very grateful. "Nope, we can't do that yet. Let me check on what MI6 think are decent groceries and you can get your laptop connected. And I need to find the bloody heaters in this place, I'm freezing to death."

Amen, Ken thought. He was already missing the Brisbane summer and he'd been in London exactly an hour and a half. Getting soft, Hidaka. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to find the heaters too.

Ran woke with a start, instantly alert, but before he could check for what had woken him, he had it confirmed. [It's me, Liebling. Let me in.]

He climbed carefully out of bed, not wanting to wake Yohji , but then Schuldig spoke to him again. [It's okay – he won't wake up. Neither him nor Omi. Just come let me in, I'm freezing my nuts off!]

Ran grinned at Schuldig's agonised plea as he dragged on his dressing gown and he quickly made his way to the door lock to press the release. He raced back for his jeans and shirt and got them on only just before Schuldig let him know he was outside the door. He slipped the lock and then a pair of warm arms were around him and Schuldig's lips were on his. "Oh, God, I missed you," Schuldig said with a groan. "But I'm so damn cold!"

"Come over to the sofa and pull the blanket around you."

Once seated, Schuldig huddled close against him, but considerately kept his icy hands away from bare skin. "Let me know if you feel weird or anything, won't you?"

"Of course." Schuldig had already told Omi that he thought it was most likely that Yohji's return, and the removal of the block on his memories, would stop the back wash of psychic energies along the link between Schudlig and Ran, but Omi still wanted them to limit their contact until they were back in Australia, and to be alert to any sign of a problem. "I wasn't sure if you were coming over tonight."

"You think I could wait? Besides, I slept all day so I can't sleep now."

Ran released himself long enough to turn on the little reading light. "What have you done to your hair?" Schuldig had bleached the colour out to a dirty blonde, but here and there it was streaked with virulent pink and green strips. The whole mess was done up in untidy small braids. He'd also shaved patches out of his long, well-shaped eyebrows. The effect was quite disgusting.

"Hideous, isn't it?" Schuldig said cheerfully. "Never mind, I can dye it back when we get home, and Louise thought this made me look suitably scruffy for someone wanting a menial job."

"Between you and Yohji, I think I have the lovers with the worst hairdos on the planet," Ran teased, before stealing another kiss. "So glad to have you here, Schu."

"Same here, sweetheart. How's Yohji? Omi said he was better."

Ran snuggled closer to Schuldig, thinking what a luxury it was to have both his lovers on a mission with him. "Physically, yes. Mentally...." He looked up at Schuldig. "I'm worried that there have been side effects from...the memory block." He carefully refrained from saying 'what you did'.

Schuldig shifted. "How so? What are the symptoms?"

"He's very depressed, but I suppose that's not too surprising. You warned us that he might be. But he's...flaky, Omi calls it. Forgets small stuff. Seems lost for the right word sometimes. He doesn't feel completely there."

Schuldig tapped his fingers as he thought. "I think that might be transient, Ran. Give him more time. But are you two okay? He remembers your relationship?"

"Yes, so far as it goes." Ran grimaced as he said, "but he's seeing this woman."

"The teacher? Omi said that was just him looking for information... Ran, he's not cheating on you, you can't believe that."

Schuldig's earnestness was rather sweet, Ran thought absently – coming to the defence of Yohji's reputation, however needlessly. "No, no, I don't think that... but...Omi said Yohji got too close to Li Kwan... it's almost like he's slipping into that again."

Schuldig looked long and hard at him. "I don't think it's that, Ran. Yohji's grieving," he said simply. "Grieving for Asuka afresh, grieving for your sister... and for Kwan, a little. Women dying – killing women – it tears him up even when he hasn't fallen for them in some way. He feels terribly guilty about it, but there's nothing he can do about it and you mustn't blame him for it – it will only make it worse. I saw it in Brisbane. It makes it very bad that he's here, but at the same time, he needs to be with you because he trusts and loves you more than anything, anyone else in the world." He gave Ran a slightly rueful looking smile. "A lot more than he does me, anyway. Ran, you won't lose him. Just let him know you won't let him go whatever he does. It's what he needs, it's all you can do."

"I try. Schu, he's sorry for what he said. He's been waiting to tell you that himself. Can you speak to him tonight?"

"Yes, of course. I just wanted to speak to you first." Schuldig kissed him gently – he tasted of coffee and chocolate and Ran surmised he'd been indulging his passion for whipped cream on mocha again. "Missed you so much."

Ran could imagine. It can't have been much fun for Schuldig with Yohji excoriating him, fairly or unfairly. "Come on, he'll kill me if I let you go without seeing him."

He switched off the light and led Schuldig through the darkened flat. "Get in beside him," Ran whispered, doing the same on Yohji's other side.

"Are you sure?"

"Schu."

"Okay, okay...pushy," he mock-grumbled, lifting the blankets and sliding in next to Yohji, putting an arm over him carefully. "How's his shoulder?"

"He stopped using the sling just today, but he's still doing the exercises."

"Good. Wake him up – I'll make sure he doesn't freak."

Ran kissed Yohji's forehead. "Yohji, wake up. We have a visitor."

Despite Schuldig's reassurances, Ran still kept a restraining hand on Yohji's chest, but his lover only opened his eyes and grunted. "Huh? Who?"

"Here, Liebchen," Schuldig said quietly.

Yohji's head whipped around. "Schu! Gods!" He grabbed Schuldig and pulled him closer. "Gods, gods, I'm sorry, Schu," he said, his voice muffled against Schuldig's shoulder.

Schuldig didn't say anything but Ran guessed he was speaking to Yohji in his head. Seeing Yohji's relief and regret and sheer pleasure at seeing their lover made Ran's heart lift.

After a couple of minutes, Yohji sniffed. "Bad Schu, sneaking up on me like that."

"Sorry, kitten. I wasn't sure if I'd be welcome."

Yohji stroked his cheek in what looked like apology, and then went to run his hand through Schuldig's hair, but was defeated by the braids. "What the fuck is this? It feels horrible."

Ran grinned. "It looks worse. Here."

He turned on the light, relishing the prospect of Yohji's horror at Schuldig's dreadful hairstyle. He certainly got that – but he wasn't expecting Schuldig to go rigid and back away from Yohji as if he'd found he'd been clutching a rotting corpse. "Schu? I know his hair's pretty bad...."

"Shut up," Schuldig said harshly, and then without warning, Yohji went slack, his eyes closed.

Ran put his hand on Yohji's face. "Schu, what the...?"

"Ran, shut up." Schuldig pushed himself upright and hugged himself. To Ran's shock, he was shaking, staring down at Yohji with a look of horror... and grief? "Oh, God," he whispered, beginning to rock back and forth.

Was this the disruption to their link coming back, showing itself in some new strange way? Ran came round to his side of the bed and slipped his arms around Schuldig's resisting body, but he didn't try to speak. Schuldig was trembling hard, like he was standing naked in a snowstorm. Ran's embrace seemed to be making no difference to his distress.

Finally, Schuldig heaved a sigh and went still, before lifting his head, turning it to look at Ran. "I suppose you want an explanation."

"That might help, yes. Is this something to do with our link?" Shuldig shook his head. "What did you do to Yohji?"

"I just put him back to sleep. He'll think he dreamed my visit."

"What?" How could Schuldig play with Yohji's mind so lightly? "Why? He...."

Schuldig put his fingers on Ran's mouth. "Not here." He pointed out towards the living room, and then got up, switching off the light and padding silently out of the room.

Despite being disturbed at Schuldig's actions regarding Yohji, Ran forced himself to be patient. Whatever was distressing Schuldig was nothing as minor as him objecting to Yohji's new haircut. Schuldig sat down on the sofa and put his head in his hands. Ran switched the light back on and sat in the armchair, pulling it close to the sofa so he could be close to Schuldig but still give him space.

Eventually, Schuldig lifted his head. "Ran, do you remember I told you I'd seen some dreams of yours? The first time you were in London?"

Ran had to think. "Was that...the day the seizures started... you said... Yohji? You saw Yohji... but... Schu that was over a year ago and you said nothing had happened...." He reached over and grabbed Schuldig's wrist, hard. "Tell me. All of it."

"You were dreaming... you woke me up... dreaming about your sister and I thought... I thought I'd better see if I could stop it or lower the intensity in case you gave us away to that guy, you know...."

"Haskings?"

"Yes, that twerp." Schuldig shuddered again.

"Schu...." Ran urged when it seemed his lover had stuttered to a stop. He needed to know what was going on.

"Yeah, anyway... I found your dreams were so severe because you seemed to think you were responsible for what happened to your family and your sister, which made no damn sense because you weren't responsible...." Schuldig seemed to lose himself in his thoughts again, so Ran tugged at his wrist. "Sorry. Anyway, I traced them back to source, put a block on the emotions feeding the memories and the dreams so they'd become less severe over time...."

He was astonished. Just when he thought they had no more secrets.... "You? You did that for me?"

"I did it for me, Ran. Sorry – I wasn't in love with you then." Schuldig gave him a ghost of a smile which disappeared as quickly as it appeared.

"I don't mind. But Yohji?"

"Well, that was part of it. When I was looking at your memories, suddenly this picture of Yohji popped up, the one I told you about. Ran – he had his hair cut and dyed like he has now. He's never had it like that the whole time I've known him. It wasn't a memory or a dream – it really looked like one of Crawford's visions. Since we think you're slightly precognitive, I figured it could have been."

Ran went cold all over. "You said he died."

"No, only that he looked badly injured – possibly dead." Schuldig rubbed his arms. "Sorry for freaking out – I just... Yohji...."

"Are you sure it wasn't the explosion he got caught by in Singapore? Maybe things got mixed up? I can't be that good a precog."

Schuldig raised his hand and stroked Ran's face. "I don't know, Liebling. I know so little about precognition. All I know was the few times Brad let me see what he saw, and what he told me about his gift, which wasn't much."

"We need to tell Omi."

"We need to get Yohji out of England."

Schuldig stood and seemed about to head back into the bed room, but Ran grabbed at his arm. "No – wait. Omi first."

"I suppose you're right. God." He rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry, Ran."

"What for?"

"Just... I dunno. Being a fucking paranormal, I guess."

Ran gave him a quick hug, feeling the tension in Schuldig's body. "Don't be a fool – this isn't your fault. Wake Omi up, will you?"

Schuldig went still, and a few moments later, Omi staggered out of his bedroom, blinking and clutching his dressing gown around himself. "What's going on?" he mumbled. "Schuldig? Ran?"

Ran made him sit down and explained, as succinctly as he could, what Schuldig had told him, with Schuldig clarifying a little. Omi stared at them as he tried to process it all, but then shook his head. "And you're saying this is going to happen on this mission? You know that?"

"No, I don't 'know' that, Omi," Schuldig growled in exasperation. "All I know is that Yohji now resembles the Yohji I saw in Ran's head. There is no context."

"So I could send him home and he could get blown up there? Or not at all?"

"Or he could stay and he could die," Schuldig snapped.

Ran wanted to scream at them to stop talking about Yohji dying. "Can we stop fighting about this?" he said through clenched teeth. "It doesn't help."

"I'm sorry, Liebling." Schuldig reached for his hand – Ran found his lover's was like ice. "The point is, Omi, that the vision must surely be about Yohji at this time."

Omi clasped his knees and regarded them thoughtfully. "One, you're not completely sure it's a vision. Two, even ifit is, we don't know where or exactly when, so if I make any decision now, it could affect Yohji's fate. Isn't this why you concealed the details from me originally?"

Ran looked at Schuldig accusingly. "You told Omi but not me?"

Schuldig patted his hand, "Don't get excited, Ran, it's ancient history. Omi, you have to get Yohji to go back to Brisbane. He's bound to be safer there."

Omi turned to Ran. "Your opinion?"

"I'm not objective enough to judge."

"Oh, and I am?" Schuldig said.

"No, you certainly are not," Ran said as pacifically as he could. "Schuldig, did Crawford's visions always come true?"

"No, they didn't."

"Because he avoided the events or because he was wrong?"

"Both." Schuldig's arm was rigid under Ran's hand.

"Then we don't know enough facts to make any decision."

"We know Yohji's in danger!" Schuldig shouted at him.

"But from what?" Ran yelled back. "Irish terrorists could blow up Waterloo Station next time we go into London – or someone could fly a damn plane into this building. There are a million scenarios this could be about, or it could be about nothing!"

"Be quiet," Omi ordered, his quiet firmness cutting like a knife through their anger. "Ran, you're right. We don't know enough. Schu, I'm sorry, but I can't agree with you on this."

"Oh, for fuck's sake! It's his life, my lover's life...."

"He's my goddamn lover too!"

"And my best friend, Schuldig," Omi interjected. "Gods, do you really think I have no idea what you're feeling? What if you're wrong and I'm right but I agree with you and send him back to be hurt? What if I'm wrong and you're right? " Omi's severe expression became sad. "What if I'm wrong again, I mean."

Schuldig pressed his lips together in a line and looked away. "The two things aren't related."

Omi sighed. "In the absence of evidence that making Yohji leave would prevent a disaster happening, all I can do is leave things alone. Ran – you're obviously not aware of your visions, if you have them?"

"Not... not normally. I'm not sure if once...." Ran shook his head. "Actually, I have no idea, Omi."

"Wonderful. Schu, I'm sorry." Schuldig just shrugged. "Don't tell Yohji – I can't see how that will help him at all. I'll, ah... leave you guys to talk." He stood up. "I appreciate you telling me, Schuldig."

"It was Ran's idea."

"Then I thank you both. I'll speak to you in the morning, Ran. Try to get some more sleep, both of you."

Schuldig stood up as Omi left the room. "I better just go," he muttered miserably, hunching into the cheap duffle coat that was clearly part of his disguise.

"Do you have to? Can't you wait until morning?" It was two am – how Schuldig would get home, Ran had no idea, but there was no taxi rank in the area and the buses had stopped running.

"I...all I do is hurt the two of you...."

Ran pulled Schuldig close. "No, you don’t. Schuldig, there is no right answer because we don't have all the information. That's not your fault, it's not Omi's – it just is. Please, stay with me. Come back to bed. Won't you speak to Yohji again?"

"I can't, Ran. I don’t trust myself not to spill something, give him a clue. He's too fucking sharp and he'll feel something's wrong."

That, Ran thought, was completely true. "Then just come and sleep for a little bit, until the buses start up again. Yohji won't wake up, will he?"

"Not unless I make him, no." He gave a brief, humourless laugh. "But now I'm supposed to pretend that every time I see him, I don’t remember seeing him dead or dying under a ton of rubble." Ran was suddenly glad he hadn't asked Schuldig to show him what he'd seen in Ran's own mind. But then Schuldig pressed him close and kissed him. "I don't need to sleep, but you do. Let me watch over the two of you. That will help."

"Then I'd like that. Please don't let this get to you, Schuldig. Better for us to work to avoid the events in the vision than to be paralysed by it."

"If you say so, Liebling." He laid his cheek against Ran's forehead. "It's late. Go to bed."

As he lay with Schuldig's arms around him, and his own around Yohji, Ran could have asked Schuldig to help him get back to sleep, but he didn't. He had a queer feeling that sleep was wasting precious time with his lovers, and although he wasn't a superstitious man, just this once, he gave into the impulse to spend these few hours awake, with the people he loved.

This mission couldn’t end soon enough for him, he thought.

It was an effort to behave normally with Yohji the following morning. It was weird that he had no recollection of Schuldig's visit, and that he was pestering Omi as to when they would see him. Ran wanted to show Yohji something less drab than the area they were living and working in, so he'd promised to show him the famous Kew Gardens. Omi had seized on the idea as a way for his team to touch base, and now Yohji was badgering him over breakfast to let Schu meet up with them too. "It's too risky, Yohji-kun," Omi said, switching to Japanese as they had decided to use that as their cover lingua franca. "We're going to have to be careful about meeting Ken and Louise. There's no excuse for us to know Schuldig at all, or be talking to him."

"Ran? Help me out here?"

Now Omi knew perfectly well why Ran didn't want to bring Yohji and Schuldig together so soon, but he was trapped. "Maybe he could just pass by and send a message that way."

"I'll consider it. Don't count on it. How are you feeling, Yohji? How's the arm?"

"Better, Omittchi. Sore, but more an ache." He gave Ran a grin. "Since someone keeps giving me those nice liniment rubs...."

"Huh, you better hurry up and get better, the smell in the bed is driving me nuts." But in truth, Ran would give Yohji any number of back rubs to help him heal, and to make Yohji feel loved and cherished. Anything to drive away the sadness that never left his eyes, no matter how much he smiled.

Ran cleared the table while Omi went back to his room to check emails and send instructions to Ken and Louise about meeting up. Yohji took his tea over to the sofa and spotted the sword case. "What the hell is this doing here?"

"You need to ask Ken and Louise. I gather Ken thought I was lonely or something."

Yohji laughed. "Maybe he was feeling nostalgic. I wonder if he packed his bugnuks."

"You've got your harigane even though it makes about as much sense for someone with a busted shoulder to use the wire as it does for a paraplegic to use claws," Ran pointed out.

"Are you saying I'm not up to pulling my weight on this mission, Fujimiya Ran?"

Yohji was giving him a hard glare, but Ran wasn't going to back down. "If it comes to a hand to hand fight, no, you're not fit and you know it. Use your gun and the throwing knife and leave the wire behind. If you try to use it, you'll injure yourself further and endanger us all."

"I might not be all there, Ran, but I haven't forgotten how to fight. Gods, you can be a tight ass."

"Yes, probably comes from insufficient sex lately."

Yohji stared, and then threw his head back and laughed. "Sometimes I really wish Manx was still alive so I could see her face when you come out with shit like that. She was convinced you had no sense of humour."

Ran smiled a little. "A lot of people were. I can't think why," he added wryly. "You need to wrap up, Yohji – we'll be walking around in the cold, and there's been another hard frost."

"You promised me lots of lovely warm greenhouses," Yohji whined.

"Yes, there are. And lots of lovely cold frosty expanses in between them. Are you wimping out on me, Kurosawa-san?"

Yohji came up behind him and put his hands around his hips. "Not on your life, Midoru-kun," he breathed, licking his ear.

When Yohji was playful, it was easy to forget things weren't entirely normal, but his apparent good mood seemed to have legs, lasting even through the shock of the cold they experienced as they began their tour around the gardens. Omi was suffering terribly from the low temperature, Ran knew, and since his interest in flora was limited, Ran guided him to the greenhouses that were warm and had aquaria in their basements. Omi liked fish rather more than the plants. Yohji was happy to wander around and look at both. The gardens were relatively free of people – Ran had been there on a Sunday and that was why he'd carefully suggested Saturday – so they could take their time. Ran genuinely wanted Omi and Yohji to have a good time – meeting Ken and Louise was important, but so was feeding Yohji's emotional and spiritual core. It was a lesson Schuldig had taught Ran and which he had taken to heart. On a long undercover mission, it was important to take time out. Ran felt Omi needed to learn that too.

He could tell that, virtually for the first time, his two team mates were impressed by something they'd seen in England. Certainly, in Yohji's case, it was the first time he'd seen anything that wasn't run down and dirty. He heartily approved of the Princess of Wales conservatory and they spent over an hour going around it. There was the tail end of an orchid festival which Ran very much wanted to see, and Yohji patiently listened to Ran expound on the different types, doing a rather too convincing imitation of a visitor waiting politely on his host's pleasure. But suddenly Yohji stiffened. "Ah, Nozawa-san, please excuse me for a few minutes, if you wouldn't mind? Where are you and your brother going next?"

"We...."

[Yohji's going to the loo, Ran, and we're going to have a highly surreptitious chat. You and the kitten better go to the coffee shop. That's the big white building – the Orangery, I think it's called.]

[Schu, you shouldn't be here.]

[I know, which is why you're going to smile politely, tell Omi that Yohji must have needed a dump in a hurry and then suggest coffee.]

Ran sent a mental frown at his lover, but followed his instructions, excusing Yohji and explaining, rather less crudely than Schuldig had suggested, what Yohji was probably doing. "Shall we go to the Orangery? It's time for some coffee, Omi-kun."

It was close to the time they'd arranged to 'accidentally' meet Ken and Louise, so Omi wasn't that suspicious, Ran thought, and they went outside into the cold air. But as they followed the paths over to the café, Omi muttered, "and where is he, Ran?"

"Who?"

"The Buddha. Who do you think?"

"Uh...in the men's toilets, I think."

"Wonderful. Remind me to put our friend in the shit myself when I see him again."

[Uh oh,] Schuldig said.

[Yeah. Well, make the most of it while you still have all your appendages, Schu.]

"In your own time, Niisan," Omi said, smiling with clenched teeth. He'd noticed Ran had lost concentration again.

But now they were at the café and Ran spotted Ken and Louise nearly at the door. Under the pretext of offering her disabled husband some assistance, Ran was able to initiate a conversation with Louise, and then 'discover' that Ken was Japanese. They took a table together and Ran carefully left a place for his friend who would joining them shortly. It seemed his friends were also not enjoying the cold, but Louise had loved the greenhouses. She spoke to him with real enthusiasm about them as Ken and Omi chatted about inconsequential matters, but it was clear their real attention was on Yohji. His arrival caused them both to visibly relax. Ran made proper introductions, and Yohji sat down. Like Ken and Louise, he seemed to have lost some tension – somehow, Ran doubted that was because he'd had a deeply satisfying defecation.

[That's rather crude, Liebling. I never knew you thought so little of me, even if they do say nothing is as overrated as a good fuck and so underrated as a good shit.]

Ran felt his cheeks heat up. [Do you mind? I'm eating!]

[Just following your theme, sweetheart. Yohji's okay now. At least about me. You're right though – he's fucked up.]

Ran forced himself to smile – fortunately, the others were engaged in talking to Yohji. [Should I send him home?]

[Unfair question, Ran. You know what I think. So long as you're there, he'll be okay. He's got you, Omi and me all around to look out for him. But you should check out this Blyth-Jones chick. She's definitely making more than just a little play for Yotan. He knows that, though. I just want to know if she's falling for his charm or something else.]

[Will do. I was already suspicious. So far, she seems clean, but someone in that college is bad, so we have to assume she might be. Are you going to hang around?]

[Only until you leave. Next time, go back to the British Museum. Show Yohji your mummies.]

Ran didn't need to force a smile this time. [Yes, I will. Thank you, Schu.]

[You're welcome, Liebling. Kiss him for me when you're alone again.]

[Will you not come over again?]

[Risky, and Omi's already cranky with me. Maybe next week. But if you need me, tell Ken. I'll come, no matter what Omi says. If Yohji needs me, tell both of them. Okay?]

[Okay.]

Ran found Omi was giving him a curious look and he apologised for day dreaming. "Thinking of absent friends."

"I understand, Niisan. Mr and Mrs Ishida want to go to the temperate house. I thought we could accompany them?"

"Of course."

The rest of the morning passed pleasantly, even though it was irritating to have to maintain their cover with each other. Ran was pleased that Yohji's stamina was more than up to the long walks – it was Ken and Louise who finally cried uncle, despite their consummate fitness. Of course, they were still jetlagged and had had even less time to get used to the cold. Numbers and names were formally exchanged, and a public invitation to go to dinner with them was issued before Ken and Louise headed off, presumably to a warmer retreat. The meeting had been purely social – to allow them to see Yohji was in good health and reassure them. The tactical stuff was being handled by Omi and the MI6 agent out of the public view.

With Yohji bearing up better than Ran could have hoped, he persuaded the two of them to go to lunch in a restaurant at Kew that he'd discovered and liked, and then he suggested that they go to Hampton Court in the afternoon. It was part of their cover, after all, being travellers as well as students and teachers. It would seem odd if Yohji arrived in London and saw nothing of it, and unlike Omi and Ran, he had not been there before.

It turned out to be nearly as pleasant a weekend as the previous one, although for different reasons. Although he couldn't spend anytime in public holding or touching Yohji, or even conversing too intimately, it was still good to see Yohji distracted from his dark mood and his guilt. Omi threw himself into entertaining them both. It was like seeing Omi in his much younger years, no longer the leader of Weiss, but a kid on his first big trip. In a way, it was his first big trip, since Ran knew perfectly well Omi had spent none of his previous two visits to the city sight-seeing. Remembering Schuldig's words the first time they'd come to London together (and what a long time ago that was, it seemed), Ran took Omi to the British Museum, and had the pleasure of seeing both his lover and his friend totally stunned by the place, as overtaken by wonder as he had been. He now knew how Schuldig must have felt when he'd taken Ran there the first time, and sent silent words of gratitude to his absent lover for the still treasured experience.

The weekend ended with them all in a good mood, but Monday came around all too soon, and then they were back on the job. Omi had his first English classes to attend, Yohji was teaching, as was Ran. It was like a cloud descended on them as soon as they walked back onto the campus grounds. It was a reminder that they were no closer to solving the mystery, and yet, young people were still dying needlessly across the world for causes they had somehow been persuaded to adopt against all sense.

Of course, things were happening this week. Schuldig was almost certain to get in with the cleaning firm. Omi was established in the university, and had already discovered that S-class was something they needed to pursue. And however much Ran disliked it, Yohji was getting very close to someone who was part of the core personnel. Ran tried very hard to disassociate the jealousy he acknowledged he was feeling from the distrust he had for Susan Blyth-Jones. Yohji had no comment to offer, and thus far, no information.

But it was early days in every sense. Any hope that he would be home soon had died within days, and so Ran did what he did best. He waited for things to get better. He'd had years of practice at that.

Ken had never been good at waiting, and he'd never been so damn bored in his entire life as he had been his first two weeks in England. It had taken three days for Schuldig to work his first shift with Nexal cleaners, and two more days for him to place any bugs worth using. By then it was the weekend. The only breakthrough the team had had in that time, had come from Omi. The disks for his English course triggered reactions in Ran and to a lesser extent in Yohji – so the CDs had been duplicated and the originals sent to MI6. But still nothing concrete, nothing more about S-class, and nothing from the bugs. He and Louise had played a lot of card games and read a lot of newspapers as they waited for Schuldig to get the bugs into place. But the second week was even more boring.

Logging tapes were set to record when a sound over a certain level was detected, but he and Louise monitored the bugs in person all day from around eight, Errol taking over at five until midnight. They might miss something in the wee hours but Omi had declared that they couldn't possibly monitor every listening device at all times, and the tapes for the night time were good enough. Louise quickly checked them each morning when they got to the empty shop – so far, there'd been a whole load of nothing. There was a lot of chatter during the day, for sure – but nothing that stood out. The tapes were sent for transcription by MI6's people, and Omi and Schu scanned those as soon as they were available, in case they noticed something of significance that the three of them had missed.

Their only other main activity was planning the power black out for the Friday of the second week. It would take some coordination, and since it couldn't be repeated easily, they were trying to maximise their chance of detecting where Epitaph might be located. Electromagnetic signals from computer monitors were their best bet, but they weren't taking any chances. Schuldig was laying extra bugs and would be positioned close enough, with his telepathy turned up high enough, to personally scan any personnel who may be disturbed by a power failure. Infrared was being tested, although it was unlikely to be useful unless things had really cooled down between the college closing down for the day and the blackout, which was planned for three o'clock in the morning. Errol was going to be training a supersensitive microphone directly on the offices – he couldn't normally do this during the day because of the sheer volume of people milling about, but it was hoped that they might detect running footsteps.

Until the operation happened, all Ken and Louise could do was wait. And wait. The empty shop was an uncomfortable place to spend seven days a week, being cold and boring and with only basic facilities, having been chosen for its location and the accessible garage rather than any interest in the occupants' welfare. At least they had each other to talk to. Errol was a silent presence, not prone to chatter, and it was clear he wasn't interested in being friends.

Omi reported to Ken formally and informally about what he, Ran and Yohji were doing, but still Ken wanted to see them all again in person. The night before the blackout was planned, Ken invited Ran and his 'brother' to supper at a local restaurant, along with their oh-so-charming friend, Yohji Kamiya – but he was surprised to find Yohji was going to be unavailable because he was already going out with Susan Blyth-Jones. Even though he was maintaining a perfect cover as he spoke, Ken could tell Ran wasn't exactly thrilled. When he hung up, he told Louise there would be only four for dinner – and why. "So much for the glamour of undercover," she said. "If I was Ran, I'd be tearing my hair out."

"I think I definitely heard follicles coming loose," Ken joked, although it really wasn't funny. Yohji was doing what he needed to do, and Ran had to deal with it, lover or no lover.

The meal was a welcome distraction from the tedium of maintaining the listening station, but the stress of maintaining their roles with close friends put a dampener on the evening, as did Ran's quiet mood. He wasn't sulking, but he was clearly thinking about Yohji – worrying about him. Ken yearned to speak to him openly about what was going on but that was not something they could risk. They had to presume they could be monitored or overheard at all times when they were not in their own, bug-free residences. No one was inclined to make it a late evening. Ken just hoped that on the following night, they might get the breakthrough they were now desperate for.

"Well that was a complete and total fucking waste of time," Schuldig said, slipping into Ken's car. He and Omi had just returned from the equipment van parked a few metres further on. Ken was still miked up, but he'd closed down the connection to the listening devices he'd been monitoring for over two hours. They had found nothing. No unusual activity, no electromagnetic frequencies, no incriminating conversations. Ken was glad that he'd insisted Louise not force herself to stay up until three am for the mission. Her pregnancy meant that if she wasn't in bed by ten, she became almost too tired to function – it would be hard enough on her if they had found something.

"And the worst part about it is that it confirms nothing at all," Omi said darkly. "We don't know if it was all quiet because Epitaph isn't there, or because it’s underground, or because it's well shielded and above ground.... Damn."

"Any bloody tea left?" Schuldig asked, shivering. He'd spent a lot of the night on the roof of the adjacent building and looked cold to the bone. Ken passed him the thermos. "So what do we do now?"

"Ideas? I'm all out."

"You don't want to hear about my suggestion regarding a modestly-sized thermonuclear device, I suppose," Schuldig said. Omi glared. "Thought not. Then I've got nothing. Other than what you, Ran and Yohji are doing, I can't think. We've not really given the bugs enough of a try, though. Not in a week."

"No, and that's now what you and Louise will have to concentrate on, Ken. Sorry it's so dull – surveillance just is, ask Yohji."

Ken shrugged. "I guess. It would help if we could find even one of those Rosenkrüs people – Schuldig, don't you have any idea what Groener would look like now?"

"Ken, he was seventeen years old when I knew him – he used to beat the shit out of me so I'm hardly likely to miss him if he looks even remotely the same, but he was pretty fucking nondescript then and twelve years makes a big difference to a guy's looks." Schuldig snorted. "The trouble is, you can get onto that campus at least a dozen different ways that we know about and he could be slipping in and out and we wouldn't see him. If he's there at all. Just because that data said he's 'here', doesn’t mean he's here now." His shoulders slumped. "How about a bomb scare? Send the cops in to search the place?"

"I'll run it past Walker," Omi said in all seriousness. "Right now, I'm going to cadge a lift from Errol back to the flat. Ken, drive Schu home, get some sleep, and I'll be in touch tomorrow. Take the day off, let the tape machines catch things. Nothing happens on the weekend, that's pretty clear." Ken nodded – fuck all had been recorded on the tapes the previous weekend. "Thank you all for your work tonight, gentlemen. We can't win every one."

Omi put his hand on the door, preparing to leave. "Omi – wait." He stopped and turned around to look at Schuldig. "Errol got that tap on Blyth-Jones' phone line, and a device in her flat, and I think it's time we put that bug on Yohji. Get Ran to do it."

"Why do you need a bug on Yohji? Can't you just ask him what he's heard?" Schuldig wouldn't meet his eyes, and he realised exactly what Schuldig was getting at. Ken felt a familiar surge of battle rage begin to fill him. "Are you saying Yohji is a traitor?" he yelled. Omi winced and indicated he should lower his voice. "What the fuck are you saying, Schuldig?"

Schuldig shrugged. "I'm just saying we should keep him under surveillance. In case he doesn't – or can't – tell us everything that goes down with him."

"Yes, okay," Omi said, cutting across Ken's protests. "It's a good idea."

"For the gods' sake – why?" Ken couldn't believe he was hearing this.

"Ken, you've not seen him, have you? Not since two weeks ago." Schuldig was uncharacteristically quiet, almost regretful. "Well, I have. Ran has too. He's still got some memory gaps, and he's.... Look, there's no blame attached to him not being as objective as he might be. He wasn't prepared for this as well as he could be, and he's just come off a bitch of a mission."

"You think he's compromised," Ken said flatly.

"I think we should monitor him as a way of protecting him," Schuldig said, still quietly.

"He's not a traitor."

"No, he's not. Ken...God, do you think this is something that I'm happy about?"

"Just tell me what's going on," Ken insisted. "Why now?"

Schuldig glanced at Omi before answering. "He's been ditching meetings with Ran. Staying out late, and not really telling anyone what exactly he's doing. Not...hiding it, more like he forgets to tell us. It's nothing sinister," he added hastily as Ken drew breath to argue that Yohji wouldn't do anything to hurt any of them. "He was supposed to be there tonight. Ran was waiting for him, but he called to say he couldn't make it. Didn't explain, but he was calling from her place. Ran... just thinks he might be getting too close to her. After what happened in Singapore, it's something we need to consider. It's just a precaution, Ken."

Ken gaped. He started to speak and then words just failed him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"In front of MI6?" Omi said. "Look, Errol is waiting. Schu, I'll arrange the bug. But I want you to monitor Yohji as you have been, as closely as you can. Ken – so far as Errol is concerned, so far as I'm concerned, it's Blyth-Jones who is under suspicion. Not Yohji. Be clear about that."

Ken didn't like it, not any of it. "You're wrong."

"I hope so. Schuldig, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well, Ken."

Oh sure – sleep was going to be so easy after all that.

Ran waited exactly thirty seconds after Omi came in, letting his friend take his coat off and change his shoes, before asking, "Well?"

"Nothing. A graveyard would be busier." Omi squinted at him, then at his watch. "Have you sat up all night? Isn't Yohji back?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh. Ran...."

"Yes, I know. Contacts," he spat. "I may as well go to bed – he's not coming back tonight."

Omi caught his arm. "Ran – we're going to put the bug on him." He held out a small black button shaped object. "As soon as he gets back – put it in his cell phone."

Ran looked at the bug, then up at Omi. "Why now?"

"You know why," Omi said quietly. "Ran, it's not that I don't trust Yohji...."

"Omi, I don't know that I trust Yohji right now." There – he'd said it. The thing that had been gnawing at him for two weeks. "Is he falling for this woman?"

"No! Ran... no, you know that's not possible, not with his memory back. But he's not someone who can...get close...and treat someone like meat." Omi looked at him earnestly. "I do trust Yohji. But I want to make sure he's okay."

It made sense. It still made him sick, though. "Omi, make me a promise. Please."

Omi put the bug into Ran's hand and curled his fingers around it. "What?"

"Send Yohji home by the end of March. That's three weeks. If he hasn't got anywhere by then, send him home. Please. You know I wouldn't normally ask."

Omi's expression became kind. "I know. Yes, okay. If we haven’t got anywhere by then, I'm sending you all home. MI6 can take over."

Ran could have hugged him with relief, but all he said was, "Thank you." At last there was a definite limit to this torture. "I'm going to go to bed."

"Good night, Ran. When Yohji gets back... don't be too hard on him, okay?"

Ran nodded. "I'll try."

His mind and body were tired, but he couldn't sleep. He saw the pre-dawn edge into a gray light that was the start of the new day, but still, sleep eluded him. He rolled over yet again, trying to convince his brain that sleep was necessary for proper functioning, and saw it was after seven. Then he heard the quiet click of the front door, and the quieter thud of Yohji removing his shoes, the soft rustle as he hung up his coat.

He closed his eyes, rolled over to face Yohji's side of the bed and waited. He heard Yohji's almost noiseless tread, and then the bed dipped as his lover sat beside him, although he made no attempt to climb under the covers. He waited – Yohji didn't move. Then -"I know you're awake. Have you slept at all?"

When he looked up, Yohji was looking straight at him with soulful, tired eyes. "Have you?"

"Not much."

Ran sniffed. "You smell of her." Not of sex, but of the fainter, more subtle odours of hand cream and hair conditioner that were not the warm masculine smells Yohji usually gave out. "You slept with her."

"Ran...." Yohji reached for him, but Ran couldn't hold back a flinch as his hand made contact. "Want me to sleep in the living room?"

"Why, Yohji?"

"You know why." Yohji looked at him steadily until Ran nodded infinitesimally – capitulating an unarguable point. "I think I might have found out where this Groener guy is – he's in Munich on a course, or so she says. Only he's calling himself Artur Niemann now, if it's him."

Ran sat up so he could look at Yohji properly. "How do you know it's him?"

"I'm only guessing. He's the right age, he's German... and he's head of the computing division. We should check it out." Yohji's voice was hoarse, quiet, as if he was exhausted. "It's not like we've got any other leads."

"She told you this as you were fucking her?"

"No, Ran, when I fuck people they tend to just groan and moan a lot." Yohji's mouth tightened. "Are you going to give me shit now or can it wait until I've got some sleep?"

"Did you have to fuck her?"

Yohji glared at him. "No, I only did that to piss you off. I'll sleep in the living room." He started to get off the bed but Ran held onto his shirt. "If you want to beat me up, you've told me enough times that I can't exactly stop you right now." He held his arms out. "Go for it. I probably deserve it."

"Yohji.... No." Ran dragged him close and kissed him with a forcefulness he rarely exerted on either of his lovers. "You're mine."

"Yes, I'm yours." He rested his forehead against Ran's. "She's not coming between us, Ran. It's a mission. Just one of those things you have to forgive me for."

Ran pulled Yohji's head down onto his shoulder and held him close. His fears and jealousies seemed so trivial now and he did trust Yohji, really. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Yohji's arms slid around his waist. "We'll never get through this if we have to keep saying that."

Yohji kissed the base of his neck, then his throat, and then finally, lifted his head up to kiss Ran's mouth greedily. At least he only tasted of toothpaste, clean and Yohji-like, no alien presence lingering on tongue or lips. Ran could not be angry when there was that emptiness in Yohji's eyes, waiting for Ran to strike out and confirm Yohji's perceived lack of self-worth. "No apologies then. Just... the mission."

"Yes. That's all it is, Ran." Yohji stared directly into his eyes. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes, I believe you."

"Good." Yohji sighed and laid his head back on Ran's shoulders.

"Omi says we'll all be home by the end of March. Three weeks, Yohji. Just three weeks."

"Thank the gods. We can hold on that long, Ran. We can."

"Yes, we can." Ran began to stroke Yohji's back in a firm but gentle motion that would soothe them both. But as he listened to Yohji's soft breathing, he was remembering the bug. He would have to slip it into Yohji's cell phone before his lover could go out and screw that woman again.

Chapter Text

"Ken, wake up. Come on."

"Go 'way, Louise. Tired." Ken batted the hand on his shoulder away. He couldn't have got more than three hours sleep, the way his head hurt. If that.

"Please, love, it's important."

He cracked open an eye to look at his beloved. "Lou, what?" he whined. She was already dressed, he noted. "You sick?"

"No, I'm fine. Look, I went up to the listening station just to check the tapes...."

Ken yawned. "S'all right. Omi said to take the day off."

"Ken, will you shut up and listen to me?"

That, and suddenly realising that Louise looked very worried, made him snap his mouth shut from the top of another yawn. "What's wrong?"

"I checked the tapes. There's a call recorded from Susan Blyth-Jones' house at about seven this morning. It's in German."

"Shit!' Ken was suddenly wide awake. "Help me up, Lou." She helped him get into a sitting position, which helped him feel not so much at a psychological disadvantage. "Do you know what it says?"

"No, not really. My spoken German's not that good, and she's speaking too fast. I called Omi – he and Schu are going to meet us up there in an hour."

"What time is it?"

"Just after nine. Sorry to wake you. I just thought I could check the tapes to kill some time while you two slept – I didn't know we weren't working today."

"It's fine, love." He rubbed his face. If it was nine, he'd had four hours' sleep, but he still felt whacked. "Do Ran and Yohji know?"

She frowned. "Well, I called Omi's number direct – I had to wake him up. I suppose he would have told them. Only – Ken, the other tape...um, Yohji's with her. Did you know that?"

Her expression made it clear what the tape had recorded. "Er, yeah. I found out last night. It's only part of his cover, you know that."

"Yes, I know," she said in a subdued tone. "But if Ran hears it... well, he better not hear it."

"I'll let Omi know. Okay, I better get dressed and have some breakfast."

She helped him up and explained what she had heard on the tapes – Yohji had gone over to spend an evening with the woman, and had stayed all night with her. As soon as he'd left, she'd made a call and spoken in German. "No reaction to the blackout?"

"Well, not that I could hear, Ken. Schu can tell us. Should I wake Errol up?"

Ken considered the suggestion. The other agent had gone to bed even later than they had – and there was the question of how involved Yohji was in this. "No, leave him a note. We can brief him when we get back."

He had a quick breakfast and then drove them over to the shop. Schuldig and Omi were already there, even though Ken and Louise were early. They both looked tired – which was hardly surprising. Schuldig said little as Louise set up the tape. He and Omi listened intently. All Ken and Louise could do was wait, watching Schuldig's hand clench repeatedly into a fist. "Well?" Omi said as the call ended.

"She's calling someone called Niemann to tell him she's made Yohji as Li Kwan's lover," he said in a tight, angry voice. "She recognised the tattoo." Omi nodded – his German wasn't perfect, but it was pretty good, Schuldig had said, and he'd seemed to follow most of the conversation. "Not as Weiss – but as an agent nonetheless."

"So we have to get him out of here, right? Omi? He's in danger, right?"

But Omi looked thoughtful. "Hold on, Ken. They think they've got the upper hand. She said that Epitaph was safe, didn't she? Niemann asked about it, she wasn't worried – about the black out or about Yohji. Maybe we can use that."

"But she'll have him killed, Omi!" Ken wanted to shake them. "Schuldig!"

"Calm down, for God's sake, Ken. Omi's right, this could work to our advantage if she doesn't realise we know."

Louise laid a hand on his arm. "Ken, maybe they just need time to think about this." He stared at her, and she rubbed his arm a little in comfort.

"I'm not planning to endanger Yohji, that's for sure. What do you take me for, Ken?" Omi asked him severely. "Let's hear the other tape, Louise."

This was the longer one, detailing Yohji's evening with the woman, the tape picking up any sounds louder than a whisper. Omi's expression was unreadable as the more earthy activities played out. Schuldig listened with evident distaste. Ken was just glad when it ended. "He got Niemann's name from her," Schuldig said.

"Is that Groener, do you think?" Omi asked. "Did you recognise the voice?"

"Could be," Schuldig said thoughtfully. "The voice isn't familiar, but I wouldn't expect it to be. I can see why he was asking. We need to check them both out. I'd better swing past her place, see if I can get anything from her. Omi, Ran doesn't need to hear that tape."

"Of course not," Omi agreed easily. "Ken, Louise, you and Errol put top priority on finding out who Niemann is, and who she is. Get Captain Jensen on it back home if you have to. Schuldig, see what you can find out, and then stay reachable. I'll speak to Ran."

"And Yohji," Ken prompted.

"Yes, of course. All right. We may have to meet again at your place, Ken, Louise, but I will contact you. I know I said to take the day off, but things have changed – please maintain the station today, at least until five. I'll speak to Errol about tracing that call, and increasing the surveillance on her and the other staff at the college. I think we now need more MI6 involvement if we're going to crack this but at least we have something linking Blyth-Jones with Estet. Excellent."

Ken felt less cheerful than his boss clearly did, but he could see his point. "Are you going to tell Yohji about the bug?" he asked. It still rankled that they were going to hide this from a team mate.

"I'll talk to them," Omi said. "You all know what you have to do. I'll leave first. Schuldig, would you translate that conversation into English for Louise to pass on to Errol? I'll speak to you all later."

Ken waited for all the doors to close behind Omi. "Schuldig, Yohji's not strong enough for this," he said urgently. "Not to be a double agent again. You can't let him."

Schuldig smiled a little. "With friends like you, KenKen, he could never come to any harm. I agree – but he's already in. Now we know what she is, he's a thousand times safer than he was. We have to consider the possibility it may be useful to leave him where he is." That was true, Ken had to admit. "Let me translate this. Louise, have you got a recorder?"

He listened to a snippet of the tape, then spoke into the microphone before listening to another bit. Louise made notes. Ken checked that all the equipment was running properly – so far, nothing had picked up as they had been there.

The translation didn't take long, and then Schuldig stood up. "I better go – can you tell if she's home or not?"

"The phone conversation was the last thing we have for her – she's probably still asleep since she...um, you know...." Ken felt his face heat up and Schuldig smirked at his embarrassment.

"Ken, you're a married man now. A father soon and everything. Don't tell me you don't know what a man and a woman get up to in bed."

Louise hid her mouth behind her hand, and Ken looked at her suspiciously. "Aren't you even a little bit jealous, Schuldig? Your lover is...."

"Fucking a stranger? No, Ken. I don’t have the right to be jealous." Schuldig's expression went hard briefly before he put his usual smirk on his face. "Besides, there's only so much one person can do for Yohji, isn't there?"

Now that was definitely a laugh from his wife. "Go on," Ken said with a scowl. Schuldig kissed Louise on the cheek and then left with a cheerful wave of his hand. "Filthy-minded bastard," Ken muttered as he left.

"Oh, Ken, lighten up," Louise said. "Do you really expect him to have a fit because Yohji's... well, Yohji's doing what he has to? If Ran's okay with it, Schu will be too."

"I don’t know that Ran is okay with it. Omi better tell them the whole truth, Louise. I don't like this."

"At least we've made a break through, " she said, going over to her desk and fiddling with the controls on the speaker. "Maybe we'll all be home sooner than we thought."

"Can only hope so, Lou." Ken sighed. He was too tired to be doing this – he hadn't had enough sleep, but he didn't want to leave her on her own while he had a nap. Oh well, he supposed it was just like being on a real mission again.

Ran woke, and as he heard footsteps in the hall, realised that it must be Omi returning. He'd heard him leave earlier and then had fallen back asleep. Yohji hadn't stirred at all then, but he roused now as Ran shifted. "Babe?"

"I'm just getting up. Stay in bed."

Yohji threw an arm over him. "No, I should get up. Give me a kiss first." Ran bent and obeyed, then Yohji stretched. "Why am I so tired?'

"I can't imagine," Ran said dryly, trying not to let his jealousy rise again. "I want to tell Omi about this Niemann character. We need to check him out."

Yohji looked at him sleepily. "What Niemann character?"

"Artur Niemann. The one who might be Groener."

"Really? You found him? That's great!"

Ran stared at him narrowly. Was he making a stupid joke? "Perhaps you better get up," he said a tad frostily.

"Yeah. Can't sleep the day away. I think this cold weather makes me tired." Yohji sat up and rubbed his face. Ran resisted the urge to point out that having sex had that effect too. "You should get some more sleep. Have a nap, maybe. We both should, if we're sitting up all night."

"We're not sitting up all night, Yohji. I did that last night."

Yohji stopped rubbing his face. "Huh? The mission got cancelled? What do you mean you sat up all night? You were in bed with me and I sure as hell didn't keep you awake." He gave Ran a sly poke with a long finger. "Schuldig didn't drop over again, did he?"

Ran slapped his hand away. "Don't be an idiot, Yohji. You were out, I waited up for you. The mission went ahead without us."

"Ran, the mission is happening tonight. Friday night."

"Yohji, it's Saturday."

Yohji suddenly gripped Ran's shoulders. "Not fucking funny, Fujimiya Ran," he growled angrily. "Don't play games – I know my memory's still a bit weird but I know what day it is."

"Really?" Ran grabbed Yohji's heavy watch off the bedside table – the one with the wire that Ran hoped he would not use – and thrust it under his nose. "Look at the day and the date."

Yohji took the watch from him, a puzzled, slightly irritated look on his face. He shook the watch. "It's wrong."

"No, it's not. It's Saturday and the blackout was last night. Ask Omi if you don't believe me."

Yohji didn't move. "How... it's Friday, I know it is," he murmured, then looked at Ran. There was something like fear in his eyes. "How can I lose a day? Ran? How... oh gods, am I going crazy?"

Ran pulled Yohji to him and held him close. "Don't get upset, Yohji," he said gently, rubbing his back. "It's probably just a side effect of what Schuldig did. He said there might be some transient problems."

"But a whole day, Ran...."

Yohji struggled out of his embrace. Ran touched his face to try and calm him. "We'll talk to Schuldig. Take it easy, Yohji. It's okay."

"It's fucking not okay, Ran. What did I do last night? Who is this Niemann guy?" Yohji clutched at him again. "You're not playing a joke? It's a joke, right?"

"Yohji, please...."

"Tell me!" Yohji yelled, horrifying Ran with his desperation. "Tell me it's a joke! Ran!"

"Yohji!" Ran slapped him, trying to break through his lover's hysteria. Yohji swung back, and Ran had to trap his arms and pin him face down on the mattress. "Calm down!" But Yohji only began to struggle in earnest.

"What the hell is going on?"

Ran didn't turn his head. "Omi, get Schuldig over here, now."

"I...."

"Now, Omi. Yohji! Stop it now, you'll hurt yourself!" Yohji went quiet, but under Ran's grip, he could feel him quivering with suppressed tension. "Calm down," he said more gently.

"Ran...."

Ran turned towards the door. "Omi, please get Schuldig. It's important," he said through gritted teeth.

"I can't right now, Ran. Tell me what's going on. Yohji, what's wrong?"

Yohji had gone still, his face pressed into the pillow. Ran released his grip, putting his hand instead on Yohji's head in a caress. "He's lost a day – the memory of a day. It's probably just another side effect."

Yohji moved again, and Ran held himself ready to restrain him, but all he did was turn on his side and curl up a little. "I don't remember, Ran," he whispered. "I don't."

"It's okay," Ran said gently. "Why don't you stay in here, get some more sleep? I'll talk to Omi, get Schuldig over here to see if he can sort it out."

Yohji reached out a hand to him, which Ran took into his own. "I don’t understand this."

"I know. Just take it easy. We'll figure it out. Okay?"

"Okay."

Ran squeezed his hand and stood up off the bed, pulled the covers back up over Yohji who huddled under them as if to escape from the world. Ran pulled his jeans and yesterday's shirt on and signalled to Omi to go back out to the living room, before closing the bedroom door. "Why can't you call Schuldig?" he asked urgently, although he kept his voice low.

"I was just going to explain. Tell me quickly what happened before I do that."

Ran explained, Omi listening with his lips pressed tightly together. "He's not lying, Omi."

"No, I could tell that. He's radiating confusion and quite a lot of fear, but he's not hiding anything."

"He thinks he's going mad. He's not," Ran said fiercely.

"No, I'm sure he's not. We have an even more pressing problem, however. Blyth-Jones is Estet – and she knows Yohji is the person who killed Li Kwan."

Ran felt cold all over, the adrenalin kicking in immediately. "When did she find out?"

"We think she only knew for sure last night because she uh... Yohji's tattoo... um...."

Omi was blushing and Ran belatedly realised why. "Yes, Yohji fucked her, Omi. I knew that. So we get him out – does she know about the rest of us?"

"Wait – that's what I wanted to talk to you about. We could use this."

"Why me? Why not talk to him?"

Omi motioned Ran to sit down. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about, and after what I've seen this morning, it's even more important. How stable is Yohji, do you think? Can he sustain a lie, knowing she's Estet?"

Ran started to answer, then stopped. "I don't know," he said slowly. "Omi, we can't send him in without telling him."

"Ran, listen to me very carefully, and hear me when I say that I want Yohji protected more than anything. What if there was a way to keep him safe and still use him to draw Estet out?"

Omi was giving him one of his patent assessing looks, but Ran didn't let that distract him. "Not knowing she's the enemy puts him at risk."

"Yes, it might. But can we use him to draw them out? Can he lie to her? Lie convincingly?"

"I think... he might need some shoring up."

"From Schuldig?" Ran nodded. "Then we'll ask him. He's scanning Blyth-Jones' house now, to see what he can pick up from her. When he reports, I'll get him to meet us, but it will have to be this evening. Yohji will have to stay away from her until we're ready."

"That shouldn't be a problem. He slept with her, he didn't ask her to marry him. At least, I hope he didn't."

Omi coughed. "Actually, no, he didn't." Ran gave him a puzzled look, and then flushed as he realised how he knew. "Sorry. You don't need to listen to the tape. We have a lead on this Groener guy...."

"Artur Niemann?"

Omi's eyes narrowed. "How did you know that?"

"Yohji told me this morning...." Ran stopped. "Wait. Omi, he was fine when he got back this morning, he knew where he'd been, which day it was – but now he doesn't. That doesn't make any sense. How can he remember and then lose it? She must have done something to him – this isn't just a side-effect of what Schuldig did. But how?"

"Drugs? Does he have any needle marks on him? Did he seem out of it when he got back?"

"On the contrary. He seemed very sharp and alert, much more than he's been for a while. She did something to him?"

"I don't know, but this makes it even more imperative that he keeps away from her. In fact, this changes things quite a bit. I think it means we don't use him as I was planning."

Ran stood up. He needed tea. In fact, he really needed something a damn sight stronger but there was nothing in the flat. Omi followed him over to the kitchen and watched him put the kettle on in silence. "I'm sorry, Ran," he said finally as the kettle clicked off.

"Did you take his memory away? Did you send him over here? Why are you apologising?"

Omi handed him the tea leaves. "I should have sent him home. I should have left this to MI6. I just... thought ...a mission with Weiss... all of us.... I was wrong."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not, but things have changed, as you say. Are you going to send him back?"

"What do you recommend? We can keep an eye on him here – or I could send you back with him. Tell me what you really think."

Gods. Ran almost blurted out that he wanted to leave that moment, the temptation to grab Yohji and run was so strong. But they were on the very cusp of success – success Yohji had paid a very heavy price for. "We need to know if she did anything, what it is, and what we can do to fix it, if we can. We need to know where Epitaph is."

"It's right here, we know that for sure now. She referred to it." Omi watched Ran pour them both mugs of tea, and took one, inhaling the steam before sipping it. "All right. Schuldig will need to advise us, we move with care, and I'll send you both back if there's the slightest advantage in doing so. I'm going to guillotine this mission at the end of this week. We've already achieved more than MI6 have done. I'm not losing anyone from my team."

"Thank you, Omi."

"Don't worry, Ran. I will make sure he's safe."

Ran's smile was forced. "None of us are ever completely safe. Not while Estet survives."

"True. Safe as I can make him, then."

"Good enough."

But was it? Ran wondered. Then he put his hand in his pocket and drew out the bug. "Still think I should use this?"

Omi looked at it for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, not now. No need for it."

"I understand." Ran put the bug back in his pocket with a feeling of relief, and then poured out another mug of tea. "I better go back in with him. I... think I will spend the day with him, if that's all right."

"Yes, I think that's wise. Don't let him out of your sight, in fact. I'll let you know when Schu can come over, but it won't be until much later." Omi smiled, but it didn't really lift the weariness from his eyes. "Consider yourself ordered to spend a lazy day in bed with one of your lovers."

"I'll take that mission," Ran said and Omi's smile brightened a little. "But I'm ordering you to get some more sleep too. If things are moving, we can't afford not to be sharp. When will we know about Niemann?"

"I don't know. The others are on that. I need to report to Walker, and Jensen. See you later, Ran."

Ran took the two mugs of tea back into the bedroom. Yohji was still huddled under the covers, and as Ran put the tea on the bedside table, he thought maybe Yohji had gone back to sleep, in which case, Ran wouldn't wake him. But as he stripped down to his underwear again and sat on the bed, Yohji pulled the blankets down from his head. "Decide what to do with the team nutcase yet?"

"I've told you before I don't like you running yourself down to me, Yohji. Here." He pushed a mug of tea at Yohji, who sat up and accepted it, hunching over the drink as if to warm himself. "You're not a nutcase. You've had some pretty drastic things done to your mind and endured a great amount of stress. You're doing remarkably well, I think."

Yohji gave him a weak smile, before taking a sip of his tea. "It's not like you to pander to weakness, Ran."

"I'm not. What on earth makes you think I have anything but admiration for what you've been through – how you've dealt with it? Do you think me so harsh?" There was something... hollow... in Yohji's gaze, and Ran suddenly wondered if somehow, something had been stolen from him overnight, something more than the memory of a day and a night. "You're a brave, worthy man, Yohji. A little amnesia doesn't change that."

Yohji wouldn't look at him. Ran wanted to shake him. He wondered how long it would take Yohji to bury the pain he was suffering for the death of his lovers, good and bad – to put his grief in the past where it belonged, an ache rather than a sharp pain. "Omi wants us both to get some more sleep. Things are moving and we need to be sharp."

"Ran, where was I last night?"

"You... you spent the night with her."

"Oh." He traced his finger around the rim of his mug. "Did I...?"

"Apparently, yes."

"Oh. Does that bother you?"

"Does it matter?" He laid his mug aside and took Yohji's from him, before slipping under the covers next to him and pulling Yohji into his arms. Yohji resisted at first, and then capitulated, melting against him, tucking his head in the crook of Ran's neck, a solid, familiar, perfect weight.

Once he had held Aya like this, when she would wake in the night, frightened by a dream or a storm. They would sit for an hour or more, talking quietly so that Mother and Father would not hear them. Gradually, Aya would become heavy, and her voice would drift to a halt. He would hold her for a little longer, until he was sure she was asleep, and then he would lay her down safely again in her bed. He had sometimes dreamed, when she was in that long coma, that if he were to hold her like that long enough, perhaps she would wake in his arms, call him Ran nii-chan, and laugh at him, wondering why he was holding her when she was perfectly fine and not scared at all because being scared was for little kids. But she never did, of course, and when she finally awoke, she was with people she didn't know.

He never did see that miracle of her eyes opening after that long sleep, although he had been able to listen to her voice, her laughter, see her brightness and joy in life for...for too short a time. It wasn't fair that she was the one who was dead, and not him, when she had been so perfect, and he so bloodied. It was wrong.

"Love?"

"It's nothing," he said with something of harshness in his voice, but he soothed it by kissing Yohji's head and holding him closer. "What happened last night is of no importance, Yohji. It never will be. Whatever you have to do on a mission, has nothing to do with this... with us...do you understand?"

"Nothing I do? How can you say that?" Yohji lifted his head. "Even if you say that, you'll know... or I'll remember... I wish I could forget... exchange some memories for others...."

Ran couldn't help a shiver. "Don't wish for that, Yohji. Everything you have done makes you who you are. It's part of you and therefore I accept it. Don't wish for something that would make you less than you are."

Yohji chuckled. "Quite the little philosopher this morning, Ran, aren't you?"

Ran scowled. "Quit calling me 'little', you gangly freak."

"I'm not gangly!"

"You're two metres tall and weigh about six kilos dripping wet. I could use you in the garden to hold my roses up, and you could hide behind the stems."

"Why you little...."

"Stop calling me little!" He had the advantage of position, and used it ruthlessly, albeit carefully, to tickle Yohji, who was very, very ticklish if you knew exactly how to approach it. Ran didn't use his knowledge for evil that often, but he had a feeling Yohji could do with a good work out, and so he proceeded to give him one, using his superior strength to hold a squirming, breathlessly laughing lover down and to loom over him, impressing upon Yohji that size was entirely relative. "Well, who's 'little'?"

"Not you!" Yohji gasped, grinning. "Stop!"

Ran instantly obeyed, stroking his hand down the sides he'd so mercilessly tormented, soothing over-sensitised nerves, the last remnants of the bruising, before leaning down slowly, tentatively, and touching Yohji's lips with his own. At once, Yohji's arm came up around him and tugged him closer, even as his mouth claimed Ran, his tongue gently exploring. Ran lay on top of Yohji, feeling the heat of his long, lean body against his own, the too thin chest breathing hard. Ran could feel Yohji's heart hammering – he slipped his hand between them, and put it on the skin and muscle protecting that hard-working organ, tangible proof that Yohji was real and alive and with him.

He began to realise that there was other proof of life swelling somewhere lower than Yohji's heart. He ground his hips a little against Yohji's stomach, and was rewarded by Yohji's eyes widening. "Does that feel little to you?"

Yohji grinned. "Nope. Wanna show me just how big a man you are, Midoru-kun?"

Ran was already sliding across him to reach into the drawer of the bedside table for the lube and condoms which had not had much use one way or another since Yohji had turned up, mainly because of his injuries and his low mood. Ran tried not to think about the fact that Susan Blyth-Jones had had sex with Yohji almost as often as Ran had had in the last two weeks, as he dropped the lube and rubbers on the bed beside them. He crawled down Yohji's body and pulled his boxers down. Yohji's cock sprang up eagerly, and Ran was just about to put his mouth on it, when he remembered where it had last been, so he curled his hand around it instead, giving it a couple of gentle pumps, making Yohji squirm a little. "Want me in you or the other way around?"

Yohji's hand cupped his cheek. "You in me, Ran. Please." His wide green eyes were so full of love and trust ... and longing... that Ran's heart clenched a little. "Please."

"You don't need to beg, Yohji." He sat up and quickly stripped his boxers and T-shirt off, his skin immediately prickling into goose bumps in the cool air. Yohji watched him with an avid expression, but made no move to strip further. Ran wasn't sure if he wanted him naked or not – there was something rather appealing about the area of firm stomach peeking out from beneath clean white cotton, Yohji's long, beautiful penis bobbing against golden skin.

He sat back on his heels and began to get himself hard, a little lube on his hand to make it easier. Yohji liked to watch him prepare himself, he knew, so he took his time, stroking his length languorously, as if he was pleasuring himself on his own, half-closing his eyes the way he'd seen Yohji do when he jerked off. His hearing caught the way Yohji's breath hitched, but he pretended indifference to his lover's lust. Only when he decided he was ready, and reached for the condom, did he look right at Yohji, who was licking his lips a little nervously. He picked up the lube and tossed it at him. "Here, get ready. I want to watch you."

Yohji raised his eyebrows at the unusually forceful command, but he turned on his side, squeezed out some gel onto his fingers, and then bent his leg so he could reach, slipping one long finger into himself with a soft moan, and then easing a second in, almost without letting himself adjust. Now it was Ran's turn to forget to breathe as he watched Yohji's fingers plunging into his own firm, perfect backside, his face set in concentration. Ran wanted to grab his hand and replace Yohji's fingers with his own, or his cock, but he made himself wait. Something like this wasn't to be rushed. It was enough that Yohji felt like sex, and they wanted it at the same time.

But it was Yohji who couldn't wait. He hardly spent anytime preparing himself before thrusting the lube back at Ran. "Now. Please, Ran. I want you now."

It wasn't like him to be so graceless, so pleading. Ran bent down and kissed him. "I'm going to mark you, Yohji. You're mine."

Yohji looked up with total trust in his eyes. "Carve your name on my chest, love, if you need to. Just do it, I want you."

Ran sat up, tore the condom packet open impatiently, and shoved the rubber on as quickly as he could. Almost roughly, he grabbed Yohji's leg, but Yohji was already eagerly helping him, lifting his leg onto Ran's shoulder, spreading himself, almost pushing himself onto Ran's cock before Ran could get into position, and sighing with pleasure as Ran pushed inside him, his eyes half closing just the way Ran had been imitating a few moments before. Ran let Yohji adjust, moving gently until he felt Yohji's body fully relax and accept him, then he reached for Yohji's hand and laced his fingers in Yohji's, gripping tight as he began to thrust into him. Yohji lifted his other leg over Ran's shoulder, so that Ran could bend him almost double, like he was trying to fuck Yohji all the way up to his heart, his big, brave, fragile, generous heart, the seat of all his vulnerability and all his strength. "Say my name, Yohji."

"Ran. I'm yours, Ran."

"Mine, Yohji. Don't forget me again."

"I promise," Yohji almost sobbed, reaching for his face. Ran nuzzled against Yohji's palm, but he never faltered in his pace, aiming for the spot that would make Yohji gasp and squirm in pleasure beneath him. Ran wanted to erase Susan Blyth-Jones from Yohji's body, even if he could not erase her from his thoughts, and that made him unusually forceful, almost rough. But Yohji seemed to want him to be that way, seemed to want him to thrust harder, faster, to the point of pain for both of them, gripping his hips and adding power to Ran's movements.

"Stop it, I'll hurt you...."

"Don't care...just want...please...ah! Ran! Gods!"

For all his urging, Ran couldn't help but feel Yohji almost didn't want to feel pleasure, that the pain was what he wanted, but as much as he felt that was wrong, Ran just couldn't slow down, not with Yohji begging for more, faster, harder, now, oh Ran! Yohji's erection lay neglected between them, as if he'd forgotten his own enjoyment was part of this. Ran had only to touch it and give it the briefest of strokes before he came with an anguished cry, his hips moving and grinding against Ran. He could feel the spasms of Yohji's climax around his own erection, and it overloaded him, making him come hard in a jerky, ragged motion, his heartbeat thundering in his ears and his vision darkening briefly, his breathing sounding loud and coarse to him.

Yohji dropped his legs and dragged Ran hard against him, sliding in the semen splattered across his stomach, like he wanted to mark Ran with his scent, pulling Ran close and kissing him with unwonted force, hugging him with bruising strength. Ran let him do it and gladly, lying against him and smelling only Yohji-scent, Yohji-Skum, their come, their sweat and their lovemaking. Not her. She was gone.

He shifted briefly to remove the condom and when he came back to lie next to Yohji, he brushed Ran's bangs away from his forehead. "The caveman act is new. Schuldig thinks you're so shy in bed."

"Do you like it?"

Yohji smiled and leaned over for a kiss. "Makes a nice change." He trailed his fingers over Ran's cheek. "Guess there's a little primitive in everyone, huh?"

Ran caught his fingers and laid them against his face. "Maybe it's a primal urge to protect what's mine."

"Hmmm. Pretty primal, whatever it is."

Yohji gradually relaxed, his eyes closed, his breathing telling Ran he was close to sated sleep. But there was something important Ran hadn’t told him, and he needed to. "Yohji?"

"Mmph."

"Susan is Estet."

Yohji's body tensed and then he slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position. His hand immediately made that aborted movement Ran thought he'd schooled himself out of – looking for the distraction of a cigarette. "How do you know?"

Ran leaned up on one elbow. "Her phone is bugged. She made a call to a German – this Niemann guy – after you left. She'd recognised your tattoo and made you as Li Kwan's lover."

Yohji gave him a wide-eyed stare, and then snorted. "Shit, I can really pick them."

"I'm sorry – you were... becoming friends...."

"She's nice, Ran. Smart, interesting – interested. If I wasn't already booked, I'd be tempted. It just figures that my luck with women still completely sucks." He folded his arms on his raised knees and looked depressed. "I had no idea, Ran. I mean – nothing. I really thought she was just a teacher." He raised his head. "So... if I didn't know...why was she bugged?"

Ran couldn't meet his eyes, because he knew at least half of his motivation had been jealousy, however much he'd tried to justify it to himself. "We just thought...I was worried."

"You were jealous. You thought I was cheating on you." Yohji raised a hand and cupped Ran's chin and made Ran look at him. "You did. You were jealous."

Ran pushed his hand away. "I was worried. Your memory lapses were enough to worry anyone."

Yohji regarded him steadily. "So you bugged her phone. What else did you bug?"

"I...I'm not sure," he equivocated.

"Ran, you know I can tell when you lie to me, don't you? What else did you bug?"

"The flat...that's what they were planning."

"Last night? I was bugged last night?" Ran nodded, not trusting his voice. "And you listened to the whole thing?"

"No! I haven’t heard any of it. Omi...." Ran belatedly realised this was probably worse in Yohji's eyes. "It wasn't me who decided he had to fuck this woman!"

"Will you for once listen to me, Fujimiya Ran?" Yohji's eyes flashed angrily now. "I told you. She's a nice woman. She seemed to like me – a lot. I can't remember what happened, but what am I supposed to say if she wants sex? Sorry, but I'm only after information and by the way, I'm a secret agent? James Bond never fucking turned anyone down!"

"James Bond never had two other lovers!"

"How the fuck do you know, Ran? Just because it's not in the movies!"

Ran stared, and then, regrettably, he felt his mouth tremble. Yohji continued to glare at him, but then his cheek began to twitch. Naturally, he cracked first, and grinned. "I can't believe we're arguing about James Bond's sex life."

"I can't believe you think you're James Bond," Ran said severely. "Look, Yohji, yes, I was jealous, but you have to admit she seemed suspiciously interested in you."

"I didn't think so."

"Only because you think you're so damn sexy."

"I am damn sexy!"

"Not wearing a sling and a cheap jacket, all battered and bruised and sitting in a school canteen, you're not! She homed on you like a fly to rotting fish."

Yohji grimaced. "Oh, thanks so much, love. It looked to me it was you she'd homed in on."

"I thought that too, but when you two got so friendly.... All I can say is that Omi's not jealous of her, and he agreed."

"Okay. So does he want me to keep seeing her?"

"Not if your memory is so screwed up, no, and not if she's responsible for it."

Yohji frowned. "Maybe Schuldig can fix that."

"Maybe he can and maybe he can't but it would be highly risky even if you were one hundred percent normal. You know you're not – be honest, Yohji, you're not completely yourself."

Yohji sighed and put his chin on his knees. "No, I'm not. I'm trying, Ran...."

"That's really not the point. Omi and I just think that now you may have to pull out." Yohji raised his head, and gave Ran the ghost of a smirk. Ran flushed as he realised what he'd said. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. But if I just stop seeing her, she'll realise I know."

"How close have you got?"

"I have no idea, do I? Since I can't remember last night." He frowned. "It's so weird. The things I haven't been able to remember lately...aren't like this. Not completely gone...just fuzzy, incomplete. But this is a total blank."

"Omi wondered if it could be a drug she gave you. Take off your T-shirt, I want to check you for needle marks."

Yohji gave him a slightly disbelieving look, but obeyed anyway, using his shirt to give himself a cursory wipe down and then swiped it over Ran's front as well before tossing it aside. He held out his arms while Ran carefully examined them, front and back, for any needle marks or bruising, but there was nothing. He got Yohji to lean forward so he could check the back of his neck and in his scalp. As he passed his fingers over the area just above Yohji's temple, he noticed Yohji wince. "Sore?"

"A little. Like a bruise." He reached up to touch it.

"Is it new or from when you were injured?"

Yohji frowned. "Um...well, I did get hit around that area... but I don't know, Ran."

Ran looked carefully at the area, shifting the dull yellow hair away to look at the scalp, but he could see nothing unusual. "We should tell Omi."

Yohji yawned. "I should get up. I may not have had a night's sleep, but I can't go back to sleep now."

Ran looked at the clock – it was nearly twelve and he was hungry. "Then let's eat...."

The distinctive ring tone of Yohji's mobile phone was heard coming from the hallway, and he looked at Ran. "That might be her."

"You can't meet her," Ran said urgently. "Plead illness, or a headache."

"All right."

Pausing only to grab his dressing gown, he went out to answer the call. Ran followed, leaning on the doorway to listen to Yohji's conversation. It was clear the woman wanted to meet, and from the answers Yohji was giving her, she was probing to see if he realised he was missing a day. Yohji managed to be convincing as he claimed to have a migraine, and that he really just needed to sleep it off, before he closed the call. "She knows something about the memory loss," Ran said.

"Yeah, I got that."

Omi's door opened, and he came out, saw Ran was completely nude, and blushed. Ran hastily ducked back in for his own bath robe. "Sorry, Omi, did we wake you?"

"Uh...well, not exactly."

He looked at his feet, and then Ran realised that since he had not been asleep, and since neither he nor Yohji had bothered to shield themselves in any way, Omi had had to endure a wash of differing emotions – and sensations. Yohji realised it too. "Sorry, kiddo," he said with a rueful grin.

"Who was on the phone?"

"Susan. Omi, she knows about what happened to me – the memory, I mean."

Omi's eyes widened. "Really? She was that obvious?"

"Omi, was there anything on the tape you heard that would indicate she used any kind of device on Yohji? He's got a bruise we can't explain."

"The entire evening wasn't recorded – the tape only triggers when there's noise above a certain level. So it, uh, cut out after you two had sex, Yohji." Yohji looked guiltily at Ran then, but Ran refused to react again. Omi continued. "And picked up again when you woke up, she offered you a shower and you accepted. You don’t remember any of that?"

"Not a thing."

"Hmmm. Does she know you know?"

"I don't think so. I've claimed to have a severe headache, which she might think is because of what she did. But what did she do, Omi? She's not a telepath – is this some new kind of paranormal?"

Omi shrugged and pulled his bath robe around him a little tighter. "I have honestly no way of knowing and Schuldig probably doesn't either. I called him and he's going to sneak over late tonight. Until then, there's not much we can do that we're not already doing." He came a little closer to Yohji and peered up at him in concern. "You feeling okay, Yotan?"

"Apart from freaking out about the memory, I'm fine. I'm prepared to see this through, Omi."

Ran came up beside Yohji and Yohji slipped his arm around him, as Omi shook his head. "No, too risky, Yohji. It was risky before we knew she was Estet, and while I was considering using you as an infiltrator before I knew about this amnesia, we just can't do that now. In fact, I want the three of us to go to MI6's labs tomorrow – I'll arrange it with Walker. We need you looked at, Yohji. I'll send Schu with you. I want you to stay out of sight today."

Yohji nodded. Omi yawned. "Are you guys getting up? I want some tea."

And so they ended up staying awake, even though all of them were sleep deprived. It was a companionable, pleasant day – strangely, Ran thought, considering that all of them were anxious about Yohji, and that their mission had just taken a rather unexpected twist. Omi spent time on the phone and checking emails, but having set all his hares coursing, he had to wait for information to come back to him. It still frustrated him, so he said, that they just couldn't seem to find the location of Epitaph. The three of them looked over the plans they had drawn up, a combination of their own reconnaissance and publicly available data. None of them could find a likely place, and between the three of them and Schuldig, they had scanned every possible location they could access. "Ran, I don't think Blyth-Jones suspects you and Yohji are working together – she didn't mention you. When you go back in on Monday, I want you to get a tracer on her somehow."

Ran agreed. "If we could get something on S-Class.... I can't help but feel Alex's notes would help us."

"We all went over those, Ran," Yohji pointed out. "Pity you didn't get a last name out of those kids while you had them by the scruff of the neck. You realise how many Husseins and Alis there are in the college, let alone the university?"

Ran jabbed him in the ribs lightly with his elbow. "Of course, I do, you idiot. I'm a tutor, not a security guard. Teachers don't have much authority in this country, or haven't you noticed?"

Yohji gave him a rueful smile and rubbed his head. "Yeah, I had. Still it's weird you never saw them again."

Omi sipped his tea and looked at them thoughtfully. "That is odd, now that you come to mention it. They must have had a reason to be on the campus that morning." Then he sighed. "There are too many things going on here – this S-class, Epitaph, what Susan Blyth-Jones is doing, and those damn disks. Makes me wonder if there aren't several unrelated Estet efforts going on, like this is some kind of university for Estet, not just one that it owns."

"Could be, Omittchi." Yohji stretched. "Okay, I'm going to shower and get dressed and then I vote we send Ran down to the video store for some entertainment."

Ran glared at him. "And what did your last slave die of, Yohji?"

Yohji snuggled up against him. "Too much bliss," he purred. Omi giggled.

Ran had a slight sense of déjà vu as he rose silently to let Schuldig into the building and then into the flat. The others were asleep, having used him as a cushion for much of the evening as they'd watched several films without any redeeming value whatsoever. Omi had laughed until he choked over Yohji's dry comments on the hideous acting and the outrageous plotting, and Ran had grinned for longer periods and with less reservation than he had done for nearly six months. At the back of his mind was the thought that they shouldn't really be so light-hearted, but at the same time, he had come to appreciate the moments of peace in his life, however oddly they might come to him.

Schuldig gave him a kiss and a warm hug, but his expression was concerned and his attention was clearly fixed on the man coming up behind Ran. "Yohji, Liebchen, are you okay?"

Yohji let himself be swept into an impassioned hug. "I feel okay, Schu, honest. It's good to see you again."

Schuldig held onto Yohji as he was led back to the living room. He shook his head when he was asked if he was hungry or if he wanted anything. "I just want to get on with this and see what that bitch has done to Yohji."

He made Yohji get comfortable, and had Ran sit on his other side. Omi sat on the armchair, looking alert and concerned, but offering no comment on what Schuldig was doing. Schuldig cupped Yohji's cheek and looked into his eyes. "Yohji, since I don't know what she did, and since I don’t want to hurt you, I'm going to put you into a very light trance. You might not even remember me doing any of this."

Yohji covered his hand with his own. "I trust you, Schu."

Schuldig kissed him gently on the forehead. "I'm going to make you fall asleep. Ran, catch him." And then a moment later, Yohji fell back against Ran, who hadn't been entirely ready but who caught him anyway, and held him upright. Schuldig stroked his face, as he asked Ran, "Before I start – tell me everything." He listened carefully as Ran described exactly what he'd observed, and the place on Yohji's head which may or may not have anything to do with the amnesia. He touched the spot and looked at Omi. "This is bad, Omi."

"Yes, I'm aware of that, Schu. But can you tell what's actually happened in his head?"

But Schuldig already had his hands on both sides of Yohji's head, an intent expression on his face. Yohji rested as if peacefully asleep in Ran's arms, but Ran couldn't help worrying that with this new factor, he might suffer harm however careful Schuldig was. Still there was no help for it – they had to know.

Schuldig took several minutes to examine Yohji's mind, and when he was done, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Yohji's. "Schu?"

"It's not a memory block, Ran."

"That's good?"

Schuldig raised his head and looked at Ran and then at Omi. "No, it's very bad. It's not a block – there's nothing. No memory at all. It's gone, permanently." He took Yohji's hand in his. "It shouldn't be possible, but it's true."

Ran stared at Schuldig. "She's done that?" He looked down at Yohji, his face so peaceful and normal looking. "His brain is damaged? Permanently?"

"Define damage," Schuldig said grimly. "There's nothing that I can see that would stop him obtaining new memories. But there is nothing in his memory of twenty-four hours of his life."

Gods. After all Yohji had been through, all he'd suffered. Ran kissed Yohji behind the ear and held him close, wanting to protect him from this harm, this new insult to his mind. How could this have happened without them realising it?

Omi interrupted his anguished musing. "Schu, when you scanned her, what did you find?"

"Oh, she's Estet – and high ranking. Her shields are the best going – I could read nothing from her without alerting her to my presence." He clenched his fist. "I should have made her head explode."

"No, Schuldig, you can't. Not until we know the rest of it," Omi said firmly. "But you go to the MI6 lab tomorrow, meet Walker. Ran, we will travel separately, as if we're heading off for the day together. They'll test what other changes Yohji's experienced, do an MRI and other investigations. On Monday, Kamiya-san will be submitting his resignation, or at least he will be coming down with flu – he's not to go back on that campus or near Blyth-Jones for any reason, is that clear?"

"Of course. Schuldig – you can't help him?"

"No, Liebling, I can't. There's nothing there. If it was a block, I could loosen it – but his mind is clear. Omi, this is far worse than we thought – if Estet has this capacity, it's very serious."

Omi stood up and faced them. "Yes, I know. But it's all part of what we're doing here. Ran, I need you to stay undercover for a few more days, but then as I said, I'm pulling everyone out. If we don't get a breakthrough in that time, MI6 can come in and raze the damn place to the ground. Schuldig, now you've had a chance to check it all out – any chance you can now scan the student residences without being seen? The campus is still too dangerous, I think."

"Maybe – I could get up on the roof, although I'll need back up. Errol could do that."

"Done. Tell him what you need and get on with it, see if you can find any clues about S-Class or anything else. If we locate and identify Niemann, you can go after him as well. Are you going to wake Yohji up?"

"Wait – what do you want me to tell him?"

Ran realised the problem. To tell Yohji his memory was irreparably damaged, at a time when he was already depressed, might send him into a tail spin. "Schu, perhaps you could say there's some kind of block, and then break it to him when we're back in Australia. Hopefully, this will be the only damage she's able to do to him, and he'll cope better when he's not so stressed."

Schuldig raised an eyebrow, presumably at Ran's willingness to lie to their lover, but Ran had no guilt over it – Schuldig did what he had to, to protect Yohji. Ran would do the same. "He'll be pissed at you when he finds out. I'm not sure, Ran."

"Neither am I, but I know he can't handle it now. If he's angry, he's angry. I'll take the responsibility, Schuldig."

"And I will help him understand, Ran. Okay. Omi?"

Omi nodded. "I think that's a sound strategy. Give him a little bad news, no need to distress him more than he is. Schuldig, stay with them tonight – you can leave before us, meet us at that pub, The Tup. I'll arrange a driver for us from there."

"Fine."

Schuldig concentrated briefly and Yohji opened his eyes, blinking a little. He twisted to look up at Ran and then back at Schuldig. "So will I be able to play the violin again, doctor?" he said with a slightly worried smile.

Schuldig was still holding his hand, and gave it a squeeze. "She's messed with your memory, as we suspected. I don't know how, so you will be staying away from her."

Yohji sat up and twisted out of Ran's loose hold. "What did she do?"

"We don't know, kitten."

"Well, can you fix it?"

Ran heard the sharp anxiety in Yohji's tone and could hardly blame him for it, but there was no answer for it, either. "Not here he can't, at least," he lied. "But the damage is very limited. You're not going crazy," he added, leaning closer to Yohji.

Schuldig moved closer too, on the other side. "No, you aren't going crazy, Liebchen. I'm sorry to give you bad news, but there's no need to despair. You'll be fine, Yohji," he said gently.

Yohji laid his head on Schuldig's shoulder. Omi coughed and they all looked at him. "I'm going to bed. Schuldig, we'll see you tomorrow – make sure you're not seen, call when you're on the train and we'll leave here then. Goodnight, all of you. Yohji – please don't worry."

Yohji gave him a weak smile. "Easy for you to say, Omittchi. It's not your head."

"No – but I know what it’s like to have my mind tampered with. You'll come through this."

"Thank you, Omi. You sleep well too."

As their young friend left the room, it seemed natural to wrap Yohji in a blanket of affectionate embraces, Schuldig putting his arm across them both and pulling them in close. "Missed you both," he said.

"Missed you," Yohji said with feeling, kissing Schuldig as Ran laid his face against the back of Yohji's head, wishing he could heal the mind within with his love.

For several minutes, all anyone seemed to want was to hold and be held. Ran let the peace and their affection fill him, let it wash over Yohji, hoping it would ease his anxiety and his sadness. Schuldig moved the arm he had across the two of them up and down in a soothing motion, while Yohji's lay trustingly around his waist.

Ran could tell Yohji was on the verge of falling asleep again, as was he, really. "Schu, shall we go to bed?"

"Never an invitation I would ever refuse, sweetheart," he said with a grin. "Yohji, come on."

"But I'm comfortable," he grumbled.

"More comfortable in bed, kitten."

"Bed's not soft enough, Schu. Lousy cheap mattress."

"Then you can lie on Ran, can't he, Ran?"

Ran raised his eyebrows. "Him? He's too damn bony."

Yohji reached behind him to slap at Ran's butt. "You can talk. At least I'm not a midget."

Schuldig laughed. "Well, I can see you two are getting on as well as ever."

"We missed you making fun of us," Ran said.

Yohji reached for Schuldig. "Just missed you full stop." He got another long kiss, which made Ran slightly envious of his advantageous position between them. "Omi says we're going home, Schu. End of the week."

"Really? Thank God. Yes, get you home, kitten, let you heal. You need that time." He reached up and ran his hand down Yohji's cheek. "You never give yourself time, Liebchen. You give everyone else time, but never yourself."

Ran tucked himself closer behind Yohji. "He's right," he said in a low voice near Yohji's ear. "You've been so patient with me, you gave me time to grieve and to heal. You gave it even to an enemy. But you push yourself, Yohji, too hard, too fast. When we get home, we're taking that holiday – all three of us. I'll insist on it. Months together, if we need it. We'll make love all day, and we'll walk and we'll be together, just the three of us. Until you're over all this, and you're whole."

"I'm not so...."

Schuldig put his finger on Yohji's lips. "Kitten, you've been strong and you've been brave, but the time for that is nearly done. I'm afraid you will have to let Ran and me pamper you and love you and look after you, or we really won't give you any peace."

"You're going to bully me into having a good time?"

Schuldig shrugged. "It's how the bad guys do things, what can I say?"

Yohji laughed. "Man, I love you, I truly do." He pulled Schuldig closer and bestowed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Bed. But I'm not lying on Ran. He'd squeak worse than a mattress."

Ran nibbled on Yohji's ear. "And mattresses won't bite you in a painful place if you try."

"So mean to me, really."

The journey to Kent took two hours. Ran had not been there before, but Omi had, as had Schuldig. In other circumstances, Ran would have been curious about seeing more of England than he had, but right now, he was concerned about Yohji, whose mood seemed to swing from morose to cheerful and back to depression within the space of minutes. From the looks Omi was giving him, it wasn't what Omi normally detected from his friend. Yohji spoke in bursts, waxing enthusiastically about things he wanted to do in London or what they had already done, before falling silent, staring out of the grimy window, behaving as if he were entirely alone on his journey. Ran feared that even leaving at the end of the week might not be soon enough for him.

Schuldig met them in the small, pleasant pub near the quiet, minor rail station. Omi had called the driver to say they had arrived, and they would be picked up in a few minutes. Meanwhile, coffee was purchased and they found a booth. [Schu? Yohji's having some bad mood swings. Do you think it's related to the memory loss?]

Schuldig stared at Ran, and then at Yohji, who was at that moment, chatting cheerfully to Omi, making Omi grin. [I don't know. Estet know how to manipulate neurotransmitters in different ways – that's how the pain chip in my implant works, and it's what was damaged in what they did to you. Is it getting worse?]

[Yes. He was up and down a bit yesterday, but it's much more marked today.]

[Gott. All I can suggest is telling the scientists. We have to get him home, Ran.]

Ran nodded slightly, and then turned as he noticed a man come into the pub, someone clearly looking for a group of people. Omi saw the guy too and signalled.

The car journey to the secret laboratory took just ten minutes, but they all had to go through security and be scanned for weapons before they were allowed to be driven into the heart of the large anonymous facility which could have been a factory or a dairy for all the clues it gave to its real purpose. He'd thought it looked big from the outside, but when he saw they had to travel more than seven floors underground by lift to reach their destination, he realised the buildings were just window dressing. The real heart of this research centre was buried.

Jeffrey Walker was there in an office, dressed in a suit despite it being Sunday and presumably his day off, and greeted Omi with a handshake and polite, apparently sincere words. He also shook Ran's hand. "Midoru – good to see you. Mr Schumacher," he added without any of the rudeness that he'd exhibited the year before. Ran supposed that – and remembering Schuldig's 'official name' – was the man's version of a full-body hug. At least when it came to Schuldig.

And then he came to Yohji. "You would be Kurosawa?"

"Yes, sir. Yohji Kurosawa. Kamiya on this mission," he said with an embarrassed smile.

Yohji was already ill at ease, Ran could tell, and Walker's gruff attitude – which was nothing more than a dislike of emotional display, something Ran well understood – wasn't helping. "Mr Walker, is this where your people will run the tests?"

"Just down the corridor. Come with me."

The corridor was long and empty. Ran could hear the hum of machinery, and once, the sound of voices from behind closed doors. Clearly the place didn't shut down entirely on the weekends, but it wasn't fully staffed either.

They were taken to a very large lab, crammed with the kind of equipment Ran had become very familiar with over the past two years, as well as sinks, centrifuges and the kind of devices he associated with hospitals, rather than laboratories. Yohji's polite smile faltered. "You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave," he murmured.

"What?" Ran started to ask, but was interrupted by a young man in a white coat bustling over to them, a bright grin on his face, as if being asked to work on his day off was a positive delight.

"Ah, the sensitives! And our true telepath! Welcome, everyone! I've been waiting to meet you all. I'm Tom, Tom Maddock. Come, sit down. Which one of you is Kurosawa?"

"That would be me," Yohji said. Ran knew just from the tone of his voice that he wished he had a cigarette. "You going to test me?"

"Oh yeah, I sure am, but I also was hoping to get your help with those disks you gave us, Mr Homura. I think I might have found something – it was only on Friday. I was going to speak to Mr Walker on Monday and here he's dropped you into my lap!"

The young scientist's enthusiasm was rather irritating, Ran thought. "What help did you want, Tom?" Walker asked.

"Well, if you have time, let me show you... no, wait, I need to draw some bloods and get those off and then I can show you...." He shot around the lab like a squirrel on drugs. Even Omi was bemused, and Omi could do crack ridden rodents with the best of them when it was required. In fact, Tom reminded Ran rather strongly of Omi when he was younger.

In the end, Yohji was given a rather more extensive examination than Tom had indicated, and then several vials of blood were drawn and sent via vacuum tube elsewhere in the building – Omi said there was a fully equipped and operational medical centre on the base. "I'll take you up for the MRI in a bit, but I want you, Mr Midoru, to look at something for me."

Ran was puzzled. He'd already reported what he'd experienced on looking at the disks – what more could they want? "Take a seat," Tom said, indicating a stool under a bench on which a PC sat. "This computer is set up with an exact copy of Agent Thompson's personal hard drive. I've been looking at all the files, and looking at the disks – but I only thought to look at the two together last week. The signal changed immediately. So, if you don't mind, Mr Midoru, could you start up the Russian tutor programme?"

Now it wasn't just Ran who was confused. "What are you expecting to see?" Schuldig asked.

"I'm not sure, that's why I want his help."

Ran heard a low noise which was Schuldig's subdued growl of annoyance, and he bit his lip so he wouldn't grin. "Is it safe?" Yohji asked.

"Oh, I'm sure it is," Tom said cheerfully. "I just want Mr Midoru's special talents to assist me."

Ran didn't even have to look at Schuldig to know he was rolling his eyes. He pushed the CD in and when it loaded, he clicked the icon. At once the screen filled with a swirling pattern of blues and reds, and he felt his head begin to pound.

He thought he heard someone say his name, and he wanted to tell them to switch the machine off, but he couldn't. And then he heard the voices. His father's voice, so disappointed in him for receiving such poor grades. Then he appeared, as Ran remembered him, tall and handsome, severe, his dark eyebrows drawn down in disapproval. His mother, beautiful but angry, saying he was an embarrassment to the family with his exotic, half-breed looks. Aya, reproachful.... "Ran nii, why didn't you save me? I called and called but you never came...."

"Aya," he choked out, his fingers grasping for her, but meeting only air. "S...sorry. Aya-chan...I'm sorry...."

She abruptly vanished, as did the motes of colour and light that had dazzled his vision. He blinked, and time seemed to speed up again. "Wh...?"

"What happened? Yeah, we'd all like to know that," Yohji said from behind him.

The screen in front of Ran was blank. "What...did...?" He looked around. Omi was holding a furious-looking Schuldig back, while a sheepish Tom was almost, but not quite cowering beside Walker, who seemed distinctly unamused.

"You just went into a trance. We couldn't get you to respond until I switched this fucking thing off," Yohji said, slapping the computer. "What happened?"

"I...colours. Mother...." He peered at Yohji. "My mother, telling me I was a shame to the family. She never said that."

"You were spewing negative emotions all over the place," Schuldig said. "You said it was safe," he spat at Tom.

Omi, rather to Ran's surprise, did not automatically tell Schuldig to back off. In fact, he looked almost as angry as Ran's lover. "I don't appreciate you using my people as guinea pigs, Mr Maddock. Now, what happened?"

"Yes, Tom, explain yourself."

Faced with twin thunderous expressions from his boss, and the visiting agent, Tom lost all his ebullience. "I'm sorry, I really wasn't expecting anything like that. Can you tell me what you saw, Mr Midoru?" he asked rather meekly.

Yohji had a protective arm around Ran but Ran shrugged it away, getting off the stool. He didn't feel dizzy, so it wasn't like the attacks he'd experienced in Canberra, but there was a lingering sense of sadness and guilt which had to have been caused by what he'd experienced. "There were colours... blue, red, all swirling around on the screen...."

"All I saw was a logo," Yohji said with a frown.

"Same here," Omi said. "Anyone else see anything different?" The other three shook their heads. "Go on, Ran."

"Well, then... it was like being in a waking dream. My parents... being... unkind, disappointed. My... Aya-chan...." He clenched his fist. "My sister... blaming me for... for...."

Yohji came up beside him, to touch shoulders with him. "It's okay, we get the picture," he said quietly. "That would explain the emotions, Omi."

"Yes. Schuldig, did you sense anything other than what was coming from Ran?"

"No, but then I was rather distracted by what was happening to him."

"What exactly did you discover, Tom?" Walker asked. "What's on Alex's disk?"

"Like I said, when I put the CD in and opened the tutor program, the signal changed in frequency. Look." He drew everyone around the machine which he switched on, and once it had booted up, he opened up the explorer programme. "There's a suite of very small files buried in the system folders – scattered about. On their own, they do nothing. Even together – nothing. But put the disk in, they activate a module, and the signal on the disk changes. So it's not just one or the other – it's both." He looked at Ran. "I'm sorry, I really didn't think it would have that effect on you."

Ran made a dismissive gesture. "It's unimportant – I'm unharmed."

"But Alex wasn't," Walker said grimly. "If what you'd experienced had gone on, might it have driven you to thoughts of killing yourself?"

"It... might. Yes, if it went on. If I was alone. The images...felt very real."

Yohji hissed in a breath. "But why would she have these files? And what's the point of driving people to kill themselves?"

"At a guess, Ran was right – they found out she was an agent, and planted them on her PC," Schuldig said. "What I'm also guessing is that they can pretty much evoke whatever emotions they want, depending on the files and the frequency. Is that possible?" he asked, glaring at Tom as if he was personally responsible for the files' existence.

"Yes, I guess. If they can emit a signal just by manipulating the sound and video out put, they can make that signal be whatever they want."

Schuldig snorted in disgust. "Are you saying screensavers are what this is all about?"

Tom held up his hands. "Well, for want of a better word. It's very sophisticated stuff – not just subliminal images. It plugs right into neurotransmitter production, I suspect, if the result is that dramatic."

Yohji shifted and spoke up. "But Ran is unusually sensitive to certain brain waves, Schu said. Does it work on everyone?"

"I know it didn't affect me, for one. I'd like to try you all out – even you, Mr Walker," he added nervously, but his boss only nodded.

"Not Yohji," Schuldig snapped.

"Schu, it's okay...."

"Yohji, you've just been subjected to some other unknown procedure," Omi pointed out.

"Um...." Everyone looked at Tom, who cringed slightly. "That's true, but Mr Kurosawa is also the other sensitive. It would help to know if he could feel anything."

"Just for a few seconds?" Yohji said. "With all of you here?"

Ran didn't like it at all and said so. "Tom, try it on the rest of us first. And be ready to shut it down," Walker ordered.

So the programme was run on Schuldig, Omi and Walker. Only Omi was affected as Ran had been, although Schuldig said he could feel something being tweaked in his head. It was discovered that they had to actually be in front of the screen, quite close to the PC, and looking at the screen, for there to be any effect. Walker was totally impervious to it, however close he sat. Finally, Yohji was placed in front of the screen, but the programme only ran for a few moments before Ran saw his face contort in anguish. Ran forced the programme to quit instantly. "Gods," Yohji whispered. "That's...."

"Vile," Omi said grimly. "It's very much like what I experienced when... with Tennchi," he said, his voice faltering. In a more confident tone, he added, "so perhaps it works on the same principles as the helmets."

"We need to do a lot more research," Tom started to say, but Ran cut him off.

"We don't have time for that now. Omi, do you remember I told you about the accelerator course? How it sifts out about ten percent of students to go on it?"

Omi's expression cleared, as if he had had a revelation. "You're thinking it's a way of finding out who's sensitive and who's not?"

"Could be – and here might be the link to S-Class, if we had any idea what S-Class did or was for." Ran glanced at Yohji, who still looked shaken up even by the brief exposure to the programme. "We need to find out about Yohji's amnesia."

"Yes, of course," Tom said eagerly, perhaps wanting to focus on the problems with which he had no connection. "And perhaps afterwards we could do some more investigations on this software."

"Yohji first," Schuldig growled in his most menacing manner . Tom went white while Yohji sent a slightly embarrassed look Ran's way. MI6 were learning what a real German Shepherd could be like, Ran thought with a mixture of affection for his lovers and annoyance at yet another display of scientific lack of concern for their test subjects.

"It's all right, Mr Schumacher. I'll make sure your colleague is well-cared for," Walker said with a significant glance at his underling. "Tom, be a bit more careful, would you?"

And that, Ran rather thought, was probably worth half a dozen tongue lashings. He had no doubt that young Mr Maddock would treat Yohji with rather more consideration now.

One of the things Louise was finding hard about the mission was being away from the things she found familiar, Ken knew, and one of the things she really missed was their kitchen, and decent quality food to cook in it. It was a small thing among the many stresses of being away, of worrying about their friends, but Ken was glad Omi was sending them all home by the end of the week. He wanted to support his friends, but he wanted his wife to be happy and well, and right now she looked miserable as she prepared a roast for the evening meal. Omi, Ran and Yohji were going to come over to visit their 'new found friends' for supper – and tell them what the MI6 boffins had said about Yohji's amnesia. Ken really hoped it wasn't anything permanent.

"Shit," Louise said, and dropped the knife with a clatter.

"Lou? Did you cut yourself?"

She nodded and Ken wheeled himself over as fast as he could. "Elevate it, I'll get the first aid kit."

But she put her good hand out to stop him, while the injured one was raised to her mouth. "S'okay, only small," she said around her finger. But at the same time, Ken saw a tear leak from her eye.

"Love, what's wrong?" He came over and put his arm around her. "What's the matter?"

"I don't know," she wailed quietly, her voice rising into a sob. "I just want to ... I'm just tired, Ken."

"It's all right, Lou. Come over and sit down."

He made her come and sit at the table, before holding her hand and stroking her fringe back. "Hormones?"

"Yeah. And... tired... and...I'm a bit scared."

"Because of Yohji?"

She nodded again, and sniffled. He reached for the tissues on the table and passed her one. "I'm not cut out for field work," she said with an attempt at a laugh.

"Me neither, not any more. Only a few more days, love. Then maybe you and I can go visit your parents. You'd like to see your Mum again, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah. Sorry, Ken, I don't mean to be silly. I don't even know where this came from, this crying thing." She looked at her finger, and gave it another suck to clean it. "Stupid hormones."

"Well, you're allowed, and it's been a tiring couple of weeks. I'm worried about them too. This is the crappiest mission I've ever been on."

She sniffed again. "Really?"

"Hell yeah. Sitting around in a grotty, freezing cold shop listening to secretaries organise their social calendars isn't my idea of excitement." She laughed. "I'm glad you came over, Lou. It's made a big difference to me, and it's taken some strain off Omi too. But maybe we won't be so eager next time."

"Maybe." There was a knock at the door and she jumped. "Are they early? I haven't made the food."

"Hon, calm down, it's only them, not the Emperor of Japan."

Ken left her where she was and went out to the hall where the small CCTV monitor confirmed it was his friends, turned up about half an hour earlier than they'd advised they would. Omi immediately apologised for that as they came in and Ken told him not to be an idiot. "We're just putting the food on – actually, Ran, Lou's a little tired and I was wondering...."

"Of course."

He slipped ahead of them all and went straight to the kitchen. Ken found him looking at the food alongside Louise. "Love, why don't you take it easy – Ran can do this."

"Ken, they're our guests."

"Actually, we're just freeloaders," Yohji said with a grin before going over and giving her a hug. "How are you, darling?"

She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment. "I hate England," she said with feeling. "It's cold and it's dirty."

He laughed and patted her back. "Yeah, bits of it are, I know. Let Ran do this and come and sit with me."

Omi grinned at Ken. "See? Being in Weiss means never being alone again."

"Yeah, I see that. Omi, we've got some intel on Niemann and Blyth-Jones."

Behind Omi, he saw Yohji grimace briefly. Omi's expression grew serious immediately. "Okay, brief us and then I'll tell you what we found out today."

He sent Omi to fetch the laptop from the living room, since they were all comfortable in the kitchen and Ran could continue deftly and quietly taking over from Louise's interrupted preparations as they talked. "We finally got all the education and personal checks finished – no surprise, everything's bogus, but the faking is top quality, that's what's taken MI6 so long to get it done."

"That fits with what Schuldig said about her mental training." Omi glanced at Ran. "We're not dealing with a lackey."

"Who we're dealing with, we don't know. She arrived at the college a year ago but before that, we have no idea where she was or what she was. She's not Susan Blyth-Jones, for sure. That's a baby who died twenty-eight years ago."

"Standard for fake IDs," Omi pointed out. "Niemann? Is he Groener?"

"From what Schuldig could tell us, it's very likely. Same age, also, we think, with a faked identity although we haven't had time to run the full checks. Got a photo for you." He swung the laptop around to show them. "Ran, have you seen him on the campus?"

Ran wiped his hands and came over to look at the screen. "No. I don't think so."

"Print a copy and get Errol to pass it to Schuldig, Ken. This guy's a TK if he is Groener and very dangerous."

"Sadistisches Arschloch, I think were Schu's exact words," Yohji said. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Your German is improving," Omi said dryly. "If he scares Schuldig, then you are all well-advised to keep away from him. Ken – any suspects for the third Estet operative?"

"Nope. Unless it's one of the students – the staff all look okay so far as we can tell. It would take a couple more weeks for full checks to be completed."

"We don't have that kind of time. Ken, put out a call to the Americans and our European contacts about 'S-Class'. Also, we need to know more about the disturbances Alex Thompson noted in the student halls last year – I want to know names, I want to know who was resident then and exactly what went down."

"I'll try, but the police records didn't say much."

"You need the reporter," Yohji said. "He or she will have heard more than they put in the paper. I bet Alex was planning to talk to them."

"Will do," Ken said, making notes into the organiser. "Anything else? What's the story with Yohji?"

Ken saw Louise give Yohji's hand a squeeze. "Whatever it is, it's powerful. Dopamine, acetylcholine and serotin levels were all affected, although...."

"Huh?"

"Brain stuff," Yohji told Ken. "Chemicals to make me happy and remember things, all fucked to hell."

"Basically, yes," Omi said with a slight wince at Yohji's blunt description. "There's no physical damage, apart from the chemical change, but there's a soft tissue injury to his scalp which may or may not have something to do with it."

"She did it to him in his sleep?" Louise asked, appearing horrified. "She... um, made love with you and then she did that?"

"A real black widow, hey, darling," Yohji said lightly. At the counter, Ran grimaced. Ken could imagine how worried he was.

"But you're okay, right, Yotan?"

"Apart from being moodier than a certain young lady on pregnancy hormones, I'm fine. They told me to take two aspirin and call them in the morning."

"But, Yohji...."

Yohji raised his hand. "Ken, it's okay. She didn't do much damage and what's a day out of my life anyway?"

Louise looked understandably distressed at this statement. "Yohji, it's your brain. We're worried about you."

"I've had worse, Louise. Don't get upset," he said gently. "You've got much more important things to worry about."

Omi frowned at Yohji. "The welfare of our friend and team-mate is important, Yohji-kun."

"Sorry, Omittchi."

"I should think so. Ken, there's something else. We think we know how Alex was made to kill herself – and we also think we know how the Sivasothy method is being used to recruit and retain terrorists."

With a sense of disbelief, Ken listened to Omi explain how a combination of training disks and a small, apparently harmless group of files, probably downloaded from the Internet, or installed as part of another programme, could create emotions, including suicidal depression, just by switching on the teaching programme. "We can close them down for this, surely. Can't we?"

"Yes, we can – but not yet. Epitaph first, colleges second. Walker's briefing people this evening, and the second we have Epitaph, there will be raids and sweeps simultaneously across the world. They'll be ready to go when we are, but we need that damn computer and the people running it. I think if we can put a tracer on Blyth-Jones, she might lead us to it. Walker will give us a few more days to try covert, and then we'll just have to go for the direct approach. The risk of that is, if we don't have it completely secured, they'll get away – and an operation of that order will bring unwelcome attention."

"The Americans would go straight in," Ken said. "This poncing around is so damn British."

"You can't solve everything with brute force, Ken. Not even in a soccer match. You know that."

Ken made a face at Omi for being right. "So they manipulate the kids through the disks and then what?"

"It could be a number of things," Ran said, wiping his hands once more and coming over to stand at the table, his arms folded. "If they can manipulate minds like this, they can do pretty much what they want, when they want, and Schuldig thinks it's a range of different approaches. They might be directly brainwashing students here. They might be implanting suggestions for them to make contact with those who will do that to them later. They might be making them more suggestible all over, ready to be plucked like ripe fruit when they're needed."

"We think the television programme was trying the same technique on a much younger age group, but they couldn't get the technology to work," Omi said.

"Thank God," Louise said with a shudder.

"Yes. Anything else, Ken? Good, then let's relax this evening. Louise, you look tired."

"I'm okay," Louise said and Ken opened his mouth to say she wasn't, but Yohji got there first.

"Darling, you should take a couple of days' break."

"I can't, Yohji. Ken needs me to work with him."

Yohji patted her hand and looked at Omi. "Omi, if I'm not going back to the college, perhaps I could take over for her tomorrow, at least? I'll be twiddling my thumbs anyway."

Omi appeared surprised at the suggestion, but then he nodded. "I can't see why not, if you are up to it. Ken? Any objection?"

"No, so long as he doesn't get tracked to the shop."

"Then done. Louise, you rest tomorrow as much as you can, Yohji, you take over. How long will dinner be, Ran?"

"An hour. We could move to the living room."

"Nah," Yohji said. "It's cosy here, with my best girl, my guy and my friends. And it's warmer too."

Which it was, and it was more relaxed. Louise brightened under Yohji's attention, no doubt seeing for herself he wasn't hurt and that he and Ran were as companionable as ever, helped cheer her up. It had bothered her – hell, it had bothered Ken – to actually hear Yohji apparently cheating on Ran, no matter what the circumstances. She didn't want Yohji to break up with Ran, or Ran to suffer, or anything to threaten their family unit again – not after the last few months, anyway. They all needed a holiday, Ken thought, and made a note to ask for some leave when they got back. When the baby was born, they wouldn't get much of a break for a while, and Louise had been under a lot of pressure this year. As they all had. Omi needed a holiday more than any of them, Ken supposed.

He noticed that Yohji's mood seemed to go up and down over the evening. He was happiest when he was flirting with Louise and cheering her up, but when he wasn't, he went very quiet, and hardly smiled, until Omi caught his attention, or Louise did. Ken wasn't sure if it was mood swings, or that Yohji was putting on a brave act for them all. Ran hardly spoke, watching Yohji, sitting close to him and holding his hand from time to time, his concern obvious, if unspoken. Omi seemed preoccupied when he wasn't making an effort to participate in the conversation. Hardly surprising, Ken thought. He had a lot on his mind.

They didn't stay late, in deference to Louise's tiredness, and perhaps to their own. It had been good to see them all together again, but Ken felt curiously reluctant to see them go, as if he was letting something valuable slip from his fingers. Which was ridiculous – he would see Yohji the very next day, and within a week, this would all be over.

Mrs Kurtz had not been pleased to receive Ran's message about Yohji's sudden attack of flu, and her expressions of sympathy, while apparently genuine, were tempered with a large amount of frustration and irritation. "A week, you say? If it's the flu, I suppose it will be. You're sure it's not a bad cold?" she asked hopefully.

"He's very ill, Mrs Kurtz. I don't think it's a cold. He really isn't up to teaching." Ran didn't lie often, but years of hiding his real feelings behind a cool mask had given him the world's best poker face – or so his lovers told him. The woman hadn't a hope of discerning the truth from him.

"Oh, well, it's hardly his fault. Or yours. Are you able to handle any of his classes?"

"I'm sorry, but my brother wants me to spend more time with him. I can't increase my work load." He gave her a polite, earnest look which he hoped conveyed filial devotion and a firmness of intent not to take on any more damn teaching.

It apparently did. She sighed. "Very well. Thank you for the message, tell Yohji I hope he feels well very soon."

Ran was glad to get out of the office and teach his morning class before finding his 'brother'. Together they were going to try and get a tracer on Susan Blyth-Jones. Ran found her in the canteen. "Oh, Ran, hello. Where's Yohji?"

Ran found his poker face came in handy again in concealing how much he wanted to rip this woman's eyeballs out of her head and stuff them down her throat. "I'm afraid he's ill, Susan. He started to feel unwell while we were in Kent and by the time he got home, he went straight to bed. It appears to be flu."

"Oh." She seemed quite nonplussed, which surprised Ran.

"Yes, we're quite concerned about him," Omi said. "May we join you for lunch anyway?"

Ran would rather eat lunch with a Takatori – present company excepted – than with this woman, under normal circumstances, and found it hard to converse politely. Omi made up for his taciturnity by turning on all his considerable charm. Ran didn't know how much the woman was buying of it, but she seemed to respond. He couldn't help but notice that she seemed a little distracted. Worried your experiment is going bad? he thought grimly, even as he forced himself not to grimace at her.

As she stood to go, Omi rose politely and handed her briefcase to her. Ran helped her on with her coat. "Thank you. You two are such a nice change from British men," she said with a smile.

Ran resisted the temptation to ask how much better Japanese guys were in bed, and said goodbye as politely as he could. "Get yours on her?" he asked Omi out of the side of his mouth.

"Yes. You?"

"Yes. Tell Ken to start monitoring."

He still had a class to go to that afternoon, as did Omi. It was with definite relief that he came to the end of his cover duties and caught the bus home with his 'little brother'. They stopped off to buy food which took them longer than expected because of the apparent desire of the entire immediate population to restock their toilet paper on the way home from work, and then headed to the flats. Ran expected Yohji to be there already, and was annoyed to find he wasn't because he needed to see him, damn it. He'd felt an intense anxiety about Yohji all day, even though he was with Ken and as safe as any of them could be, and wanted reassurance that Yohji was okay.

"Call Ken," Omi said, completely unconcerned. "You saw the traffic out there. He's probably just stuck on a bus."

"Maybe."

He called Ken's mobile phone and was answered promptly. "Ken, where are you? Where's Yohji?"

"Ran? I'm home with Lou. Yohji's with you, isn't he?"

Years of living on his instincts had honed them to a very fine edge, and Ran knew even before he asked his next question, that he wouldn't like the answer he got. "Yohji isn't here, or I wouldn't be calling. When did he leave?"

"Two hours ago, when you called. He said you wanted to meet...you never called?"

"No." He covered the phone. "Omi, get a lock on Yohji's position. He's not with Ken, and not on his way back here." Omi's eyes widened but wasted no time in setting up his laptop. "What call, Ken?"

"Someone called at four. I thought it was you from the way he was talking...oh gods. Her."

"Yeah, her. Get Errol to trace her, call me back."

He jabbed the end call button. "Where is he?"

"He's not picking up," Omi said, looking worried as he typed in commands. "No, I even tried the other system. Let me check the logging. When did he leave the shop?"

"Two hours ago." Ran wanted to yell at Omi to hurry, but he knew his friend was working as fast as he could – the programme just took a while to load up the history, so they could look at what was in effect a movie of Yohji's movements. That was, if they'd been recorded.

"Okay. Look. He's at the shop... okay, moving at four oh three. Heading... to the college? We told him not to...."

"We told him not to go near her again too but he ignored that," Ran said stiffly. "Where in the college?"

Omi traced his finger over the screen, following the signal that represented Yohji at that point in time. "Damn! It dropped out. Look – four twenty. Gone."

"Did he remove the trace? Where was he when it went out?"

Omi frowned as he called up the college map to overlay the GPS plot. "Somewhere near the heating facility."

Ran's phone rang. "Yes?"

"Ran, her tracers are missing."

"I'm calling Errol. Be standing by, Ken." He closed the call. "Omi, call Walker, put him on standby."

Omi nodded and went to the other side of the room to call from his own mobile. Ran placed a call to Errol and asked to repeat the exercise Omi had just carried out on Yohji's signal, waiting impatiently as the man went through the same slow process. "It dropped out, Mr Midoru."

"At four twenty?"

"Yes. In the college... boiler room."

"Call...." But then there was a peeping from Omi's laptop. Ran looked at the screen. "Yohji's come back on line. Has she?"

"No. Where is Yohji?"

Ran watched the little dot that, he hoped, was his lover. "Leaving the college. I'm going to call him – you collect him from the High Street in front of the shop and bring him to Ken's house, stat."

Omi nodded to show he'd heard Ran's instructions and finished his own call. "Walker's waiting – he's not sure why, though."

"Call it a hunch, Omi."

"Good enough. Call Yohji."

Ran dialled. It took a while to pick up, but then Yohji's voice was clear. "Hello?"

"It's Ran. A car is coming to collect you."

"Ran, why...?"

"Yohji, go to Surbiton High Street in front of the shop and stay there. That's an order. And stay on the damn phone until you're in the car."

"Yessir, sir." The sarcasm in Yohji's tone showed no understanding of the fact he'd just frightened his lover out of six months' growth.

Ran covered the phone. "Get Schu over there," he whispered. Omi began to dial without delay. "Yohji? Can you see the car?"

"Yeah." There was a muffled sound as Yohji seemed to move the phone around. "Okay, I'm on board. Want to explain?"

"Soon. Just stay with Errol and do not, under any circumstances, leave Ken's house. Do you hear me?"

"Roger. Yohji out."

Ran closed the call again. "Come on, we need a taxi to Richmond."

He paused only long enough to call Ken to tell him to keep monitoring Susan Blyth-Jones' tracer, to see if she reappeared, and to let him know Yohji and Errol – and Schuldig, he hoped – were on their way. He didn't bother to explain – it would all come out soon enough.

Rush hour – the worst possible time to try and hail a taxi – and finally, they had no choice but to get the bus to Kingston and try to catch a taxi from there. Ran had only felt this sick, worried and angry three times in his life, and all of them were when his sister had gone missing. Even though he knew where Yohji was, his anxiety levels were ratcheting up by the second. "Ran," Omi said in an urgent whisper. "Stop glaring, you're frightening people."

Ran could have screamed with the pent-up tension. Instead, he turned his face to the window and subjected the blameless traffic to his angry scowls. Please let him be okay, he prayed, over and over.

Another bus, stuck in rush hour traffic – it took them nearly an hour to get from Surbiton to Richmond and by the time they were walking up the path of the suburban house where Ken and Louise were staying, Ran wanted to stick his katana through the nearest thing that wasn't an innocent bystander or a member of his team. Louise opened the door and perhaps wisely decided not to question why they had taken so long. Ran stalked into the living room. "Where the hell did you go, Yohji?" he barked at the man hunched up in the chair in the corner. Errol was standing against the wall, and Ken was well out of the way of the firing line. Yohji looked almost isolated.

Then, belatedly, he realised that Schuldig was also in the room. His German lover stood and actually stopped him from getting any closer to Yohji. "Back off, Ran," Schuldig said with clear warning in his eyes. "He doesn't know."

"Doesn't.... Gods, she did it again?"

"It seems so."

He stared at Yohji past Schuldig's shoulder, and now the rage of worry had subsided a little, he realised Yohji was looking rather subdued and depressed. Ran pushed past Schuldig and came to crouch in front of Yohji's chair. "What happened?" he asked in a deliberately, more gentle tone than he'd used before, reaching up to touch Yohji's cheek.

Yohji caught his hand. "Don't know, love. I thought I'd left the shop a couple of minutes before you called. Ken says it was two hours. I really don't remember."

"He really doesn't," Schuldig confirmed, coming over to stand at Yohji's side.

"Her again?"

"Must be."

Ran twisted and looked at Errol, who had been silent the entire time. "Did she reappear yet?"

"Twenty minutes ago."

"Just like Yohji," Omi said. "From the same position – the boiler room."

"Epitaph," Ran breathed. "It's underground? That's the entrance?"

"I think we can presume as much. In any event, that's what we're going to act on. We have to assume our cover is blown anyway. We're going in tonight, everyone."

"Not Yohji."

Ran looked at Schuldig. So did everyone else. "Why?"

"Because he's compromised." Schuldig's lips had thinned to a bloodless line in his face. [Your vision, Ran.]

Ran's eyes widened in shock, and he had to cover it quickly. "He's right. Yohji, you're staying behind on this."

Until now, Yohji had been limp, passive, but now his eyes gained a little fire. "Are you saying I'd betray you? Since when have I been a traitor, Ran? Omi? Is that what you think?"

"Ran's only saying that we don't know what's happened...."

"Fuck you, Omi! I've bled for this, I gave up my memories for this, and you're saying I can't be there for the end of it? Damn you!" He stood up from the armchair, his fists clenched. "I want this thing destroyed. I want to see it destroyed!" He turned to Ran. "Tell him! Ran, I need to do this, I need to be with the team!"

"Yohji...."

Yohji whirled. "Schuldig, you bastard, why are you trying to stop me?"

"Because you might fucking die!"

The room went entirely silent. Yohji stood, a clenched fist raised, looking angry and surprised at Schuldig, who was equally determined. "We all could die, Schuldig."

"Yohji, just don't go on this. Please."

"No. I'm not compromised, I'm not crazy! What do you know that you won't tell me?"

Ran wanted to intervene, but he felt rooted to the spot, mesmerised by the battle of wills between his two lovers. He knew why Schuldig didn't want Yohji to go, but yet he understood very clearly why Yohji was angry. And he wasn't sure Schuldig was right – no one could know that.

It was Omi who broke the deadlock. "Yohji, we don't know what's happened to you...."

"That's right, Omi," Yohji said, turning his glare on his young boss. "But there's the four of you to keep me under control or do you think I'm suddenly that much of a risk?"

Omi bit his lip. Ran could tell he was as torn as Ran was, and no doubt he was 'benefiting' from the wash of emotions pouring off Yohji. "Schuldig, nothing's changed," Omi said.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Yohji demanded.

"You don't know that, Omi."

"Will you two stop talking in code?"

It was time for Ran to intervene. "Omi, I believe Yohji could be right – he has the right – and we do need him."

Schuldig gave him a hurt look of betrayal. "Don't you care what you saw, Ran?"

"What did he 'see', Schuldig? Why won't anyone tell me what's going on!"

Ran came up to Yohji and put his hand on his shoulder. "Schuldig saw a dream of mine – more a vision, he thinks – where you were badly injured, possibly dead."

Yohji straightened up in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What good would it do?"

"So why in hell is it coming up now?"

"Because he's worried – I'm worried – that this mission may be when the vision comes to pass. If it's a vision at all," he added scrupulously, which earned him an angry glare from Schuldig.

He'd deliberately stated things calmly, rather flatly, and perhaps that was why Yohji didn't explode but he was still incredulous and not a little angry. "That's it? Ran, I'm in danger every time we go into the field – we all are. I don’t expect, want, need any more protection than the rest of you. Gods, Ran, Schu – don't you think I worry when you're out there too? Does that mean I should stop you?"

Schuldig's eyes were full of wounded grief. "Yohji, we can't let you come to harm."

"Schu, I already did and I survived. It's all of us or nothing. Nothing else is right." He turned to Omi. "I'm Weiss, Omi. Vision or no damn vision, I'm part of this team. I won't let you down."

Omi considered, and then nodded. Ran's heart sank a little, for he'd hoped Omi would take the decision not to let Yohji go despite Ran's own arguments that he should. "Okay, we all go – but on one condition, Yohji – Schuldig will be monitoring you, so no complaints."

"Only from me," Schuldig snapped.

"Schu, it's okay," Yohji said. "Yes, I agree. Thank you, Omi."

"You're welcome, Yohji. We need to evacuate in any event, and it's easier to protect everyone if we're all together. Ken, Louise, we'll have to assume this location and the others are compromised. Louise, pack the bare essentials into one bag, and we'll put you in another location tonight. Don't forget your weapons. Ken, take your car and drive up to Kingston, wait for a call from me to tell you where we're meeting. Errol, we'll hit Schu's flat quickly, then ours, and your people can take the flats down after we've gone. Let's move, everyone. Keep in contact, and follow the escape plans if you lose contact for more than two hours, or if you get any warning."

Yohji gave Ran a wary, relieved smile. Schuldig looked murderously worried. Ran just hoped they would both be alive tomorrow to argue about what went down tonight. They would have a lot of talking to do.

The operations room ended up being the shop again because of its advantageous position, its newspaper-covered windows now completely blacked out and hung with bullet-proof curtains. Ran, Omi, Yohji and Schuldig had changed into the same dark uniforms as Walker's men were using. Ran had his katana strapped to his back, which had earned him a slightly curious look from Walker, but no comment – no one in Weiss had any problem with it, Ken knew, and maybe Walker thought it was just how the Japanese did things. The folding table at which Ken and Louise had played so many boring card games lately had become a map display. Walker, Ran and Omi were deciding on the displacement of their teams. "Mr Walker, I think Weiss should go in at the ground level. I'll need someone with Ken. If your people can contain the perimeter, stop anyone getting in or out, we'll try to get in and destroy whatever facility is located under that boiler room."

"Agreed." He signalled to one of his men. "They'll need mines, plastique, detonators, the works, Colbert."

"Yes, sir."

"What about power? Should we cut it again?"

Omi tapped his chin with his pen. "I think not – it won't affect the facility but it will let them know something's up."

"Sir?" Errol said. He and Louise were monitoring the listening station and the other tracking devices. "The woman is back on the campus grounds again – headed towards the boiler room."

"Keep tracking her, Foster. All right. I'll deploy a team of six on the roof, and spread the rest here, here and here," he said, indicating on the ground plans. "Whatever happens, Epitaph must be destroyed. You understand that takes priority – even over any rescue."

Omi regarded him steadily. "Yes, we understand that. Weiss does not rely on anyone else."

Walker nodded, and Ken wondered if he only imagined the faint gleam of admiration in those cold grey eyes. "Then we move in twenty minutes. Mr Saki, you need someone who can lift you and your chair if needs be, correct?"

"Yes, Mr Walker. Not to push it – I can manage that on my own."

"Right. Foster, call Ridgeway in here, would you?" He smiled slightly at Ken. "Man's a rugger bugger. Six feet four, solid oak legs."

Ken didn't want to know what a rugger bugger was. It sounded rather unpleasant. But when the agent Errol had radioed arrived, he understood. He was built like a sequoia redwood. Ken imagined he could not only lift him and his chair without needing to inhale, he could probably lift the rest of Weiss if they were sitting in his lap.

Walker explained to Agent Ridgeway what needed to be done. The man nodded, but made no attempt to introduce himself to Ken. MI6 people were a bit standoffish, he thought.

He was given a bullet-proof jacket and a protective helmet with a built-in radio mike to wear. Omi wasn't sure how far he would be able to penetrate, but he wanted him there, albeit as safe as possible.

The plan was for Weiss to drive in an unmarked van through the security gates and into the campus grounds itself. MI6 would deal with the guards at ground level – it was Weiss' job to find the entrance to the lower level, to seek and destroy whatever lay there. Elsewhere, agents stood ready at the homes of all the permanent staff they had records for, to arrest them as soon as Epitaph was located. Walker only had to give the signal and raids would occur around the world. But this operation had to be completed first

Finally, the others had assembled and checked all their equipment and were suited up. Like him, they were all miked up, but unless he had his implant turned on, Weiss would communicate via Schuldig.

Ken's stomach was full of butterflies – weird, when he'd faced much worse danger with much less concern. He found Ran giving him a curious look. "Worried, Siberian?"

"Not on my account, Abyssinian. You guys ready?"

"Yes. Ken – you stay behind. Agent Ridgeway, you keep him out of the front line by any means necessary, and I don't want him anywhere that he can't get out of on his own, if he has to."

"Yes, Mr Midoru." The man's voice was as deep as his body was wide. Ken wondered what position he played.

"All right. Weiss, let's go."

"Wait!" Louise stood up and came over to Ken, crouching down. "You come home safe, Ken Saki."

"I will, love," he said, kissing her. "And if I don't...." They'd talked about it that very evening as they'd waited for Omi's call, and had made the necessary plans for the possibility of one of them not coming back even before they'd left Australia . She knew MI6 would get her out of the country safely and that Captain Jensen would arrange things at the other end. She hadn't liked talking about it much, but they'd had to.

"Just bloody do, Ken." She looked up at the other members of Weiss. "If he comes back with one scratch on him, I'll make your lives hell."

"Lou...."

She glared at him. "One. Scratch. If you don't come back, I'll fill them full of holes."

Ran blinked at that. "We'll do our best, Louise," he said solemnly, and Ken knew he would. "But we have to move, I'm sorry."

She kissed him again, squeezed his hand and stood up. "Good luck."

He knew she was scared, he knew she was worried, and he was very proud of the calm way she held herself. "We'll be back before you know it, Lou."

Then he nodded. "Let's go."

And then, for the first time in nearly five years, Ken followed Ran and the others into the mouth of danger itself.

Chapter Text

It was a moonless, cold night and close to eleven o'clock when Omi drove the van to the back of the college, Ran riding shotgun. Yohji and Schuldig rode in the back with Ken and Agent Ridgeway. No one spoke – Yohji and Schuldig might have been having a mental conversation, but Ken couldn't tell from looking at them. Other than checking that their comms were working, and that Ken understood what to do, the German hadn't said another word all evening. He was still unhappy with Ran and Omi, Ken could see – and if Agent Ridgeway hadn't been in the van with them, Schuldig would surely be holding Yohji's hand.

"Security check point," Omi said over their comms. Everyone drew their guns, ready for action. Ken dried his free hand on his jeans. It had been a while since he'd had sweaty palms from mission tension.

The van stopped moving, and Ken heard Ran's voice arguing briefly with someone, a choked off cry and then, "In," Ran said curtly. A short delay - presumably the guard being secured for MI6 to pick up – and then the van door slammed and they were moving again.

A few seconds later, Omi braked hard, throwing Ken against the partition. "Everyone out, keep your eyes and ears open."

Yohji and Schuldig piled out of the back door of the van. Ken had to wait for help from the man-mountain assigned to him, but then he was racing behind his team, boosted by Ridgeway's muscle power. The campus was dark, but they all had small flashlights. Omi was wearing night vision goggles. Ridgeway stuck with Ken and made sure his chair didn't topple over, helping him across the uneven ground.

Their objective was across a large quadrangle, but their path seemed clear. Suddenly, a figure flashed in front of them – one, two, now a dozen, two dozen – people pouring out of the shadows, forcing Weiss to retreat into a circle, with Ken at its heart. A spotlight came on, flooding the quadrangle with brilliant, blinding light. Omi swore, no doubt completely dazzled, and tore his goggles off. Ken flung one arm over his eyes, his other arm holding his gun steady in front of him.

"And so it is Weiss, after all," a German-accented voice drawled.

Who the hell...?

"Mein Gott, is that little Bernd? Haven't you grown up."

Ken's night sight was slowly adjusting. Now he could see that the people surrounding them were just kids, none apparently older than twenty. In front of them was a tall, greying man, a smug grin on his face, with a sub machine gun – a Steyr, Ken thought, from the shape of it – pointed at Schuldig. Schuldig looked highly pissed off. "What, no welcome for your old friend, Bernd?"

[Ken, this is our TK, be careful. He's too shielded for me to easily hurt.] "If I see an old friend, I'll be sure to say willkommen, Otto. Still hiding behind children, I see. You haven't changed much, have you?"

All Ken could hear in Schuldig's voice was a lot of anger, but he knew their telepath usually hid fear and nervousness that way, and he could guess that was what was happening now. "Ah, Bernd, certainly, I'd like you to meet S-Class. I know they've been waiting to meet you." He raised his arm. "Macht sie fertig, Jungs!"

Then people were being hurled at them. Ridgeway stood protectively in front of him, but the big man was being assailed on all sides, high kicks and flying lunges being thrown at him. Even his huge bulk was rocked by the assault. Ken raised his gun, but Yohji yelled at him. "Ken, they're just kids, don't!" Now Ken saw that Ran was using the flat or the back of his sword rather than the lethal edge, and none of the others were using their pistols. But if he didn't use his gun, he could only watch, worried and frustrated, as the others dodged and kicked their way out of danger.

Even so many dedicated amateurs were really no match for five well-trained, honed agents who could kill with their bare hands. After the first shock, it was just a matter of Weiss wearing them out and removing the teenagers from the battle. To one side, Groener was watching it all with the same smug grin as he'd worn when he'd set his youthful warriors on them – as if it was simply entertainment for him. When Weiss had reduced the young people to groaning, helpless figures on the ground, he only laughed. "Ach, bravo, Bernd, bravo. But your care is wasted, you see. You've got soft, my old friend. Caring about mundanes is always a useless activity."

He gestured at his ruined S-Class. Instantly, piteous screams rent the air as the kids began to writhe and struggle. Ran and Yohji made aborted movements towards them, perhaps to help, but then they froze, their expressions frustrated.

Schuldig was paralysed too but he wasn't silenced as the others were. [Ken, stop him!]

Revolted at Groener's cruelty, and glad for once to have been ignored as no threat, Ken quickly turned his implant on and the screams stopped abruptly. Groener stared in obvious confusion at his victims, and waved his hands madly at them, as if trying to kick-start his powers. Huh, some hope, Ken thought with satisfaction.

Now able to move, Schuldig stepped forward, a malicious smirk on his face. "Oh, sorry, Otto – did we forget to mention we know a few tricks your trained monkeys don't?" he said sweetly. "And now, would you care to tell us where Epitaph is, you sack of pus?"

Groener snarled. "No, I think I would just prefer to kill you, mein kleines Arschloch." He brought up his gun and fired – but missed, because Ken, already aiming discreetly from the cover provided by Agent Ridgeway, fired his Luger and hit him in the shoulder, cursing the bad angle that denied him a killing shot. "Scheisse!" Groener bellowed, before raising the Steyr and firing it wildly, spraying the area with bullets and forcing them all to dive for cover, Ridgeway knocked Ken's chair over and flinging himself over his charge, knocking the breath out of Ken. Groener won himself just enough time while they were all ducking to run across in the deep shadows at the corner of the quadrangle.

"Get him!" Ran yelled. All of Weiss bolted off in the direction Groener had taken – toward the boiler room, their original destination.

Ridgeway climbed quickly off Ken and got him back into his chair, before seizing the handles and shoving hte chair along as if it was rocket propelled. Even with that powerful assistance, Ken couldn't keep up with the others but when he reached the boiler room, they were examining a heavy, securely locked door. "Get back," Yohji warned, then crouched down and fixed plastique and detonator to the lock.

Everyone retreated out of the room while the timer counted down – Ken had forgotten how damn loud explosives were in a confined room. He hoped Walker knew the noise didn't mean they'd found Epitaph yet. His ears were ringing too hard for him to hear if Ran was radioing him and all the fucking lights had been blown out so he couldn't see a thing.

Ran switched on his flashlight while Omi pulled on his night vision goggles and made his way back into the room, disappearing into the dark clouds of dust that were flying around. He re-emerged quickly. "It's open. Let's go!"

Ridgeway cleared a path for Ken through the hunks of metal and broken glass, kicking the crap forecfully aside, but when they got back into the boiler room, they found the others staring mournfully into the dark opening of the doorway. "Stairs," Ran said briefly. "Too narrow to carry you down, and I can't risk you being trapped. Ken, this is where you turn back."

Frustration stabbed through him. "But I can wait for you, maybe I can up the power on my implant and sit here at the top of the stairs...."

But Ran shook his head. "We don't know how far it extends, and I'm not leaving you here on your own. Go back, Ken. Ridgeway, take him to mission control."

The MI6 agent took a firm and pitiless hold on his chair. Ken knew it was useless to argue. "Sorry, KenKen," Yohji said in response to his pleading look. "You'd be more of a hindrance than a help."

"I...." The disappointment was bitter but Yohji was right. "You guys come back or Louise will kick all our asses, okay?"

Schuldig grinned, but it looked forced. "Well, if you're going to stoop so low as to use your wife to protect you, of course we'll have to come back." Ken nodded, knowing what he was really saying. "We better go. Catch you later, Nullaboy."

And then they all slipped away from him, like ghosts, into the dark beyond the shattered door. No time for long good-byes. Ken hoped he wouldn't regret that later.

Ran took point down the long, narrow, metal stairs, their booted feet making an unwanted loud clatter in the silent stairwell. All of them had their guns at the ready, but there seemed to be no one about, even though the enemy was now well warned of their approach. As they got to the bottom of the stairwell, the dim glow of distant artificial lighting rose up and illuminated their path.

He switched off the flashlight and took a moment to let his eyes adjust, assessing the situation and the state of his team, now potentially missing the most important member. Part of him was relieved that Ken was now safe, but he also knew they were now defenceless against a telekinetic who was an obvious sadist, just as Schuldig had warned them, and prey for any other paranormals they might encounter. Schuldig had been rattled by the encounter with his old nemesis, and Ran would ask him, once they were safe out again, what exactly had Groener done to him when they were younger, but for now, the most important thing was finding and destroying Epitaph.

There was still activity that he could see, so he signalled for everyone to advance behind him, moving cautiously and watching for any hidden doors that might spring open, from where an attack could be launched. It was strange to walk together like this, down a dingy underground corridor. It was like the old days, and yet not. Ken was missing, but Schuldig was with them, so they were still four. Now they carried guns, but once again he had his sword, Omi a crossbow and Yohji his wire. Ran couldn't help put more faith in his katana than in the Luger. He disliked guns intensely.

He glanced at Yohji. He seemed to be bearing up well, and had held his own in the brief furious hand-to-hand above ground. Schuldig looked grim, but resolute. Omi was a picture of cheerful calm – the kid was seriously scary, Yohji had often said, and Ran was never more inclined to agree than when he saw Omi in mission-mode.

The corridor suddenly divided, with no indication in which direction their prey was hiding. "Schuldig? Any clue which way we should go? Can you sense anything?"

"No. It's clearly a shielded facility. We'll have to split up."

"Yes." He quickly considered how best to dispose the four of them and decided to go with the pairings that Omi had chosen over a year ago as optimal, and which gave them a paranormal member apiece on the off chance their powers may be useful. "Omi, you and Yohji, in that direction. Schu, with me. If you find nothing in fifteen minutes, come back to this point." Their comms would be useless once they split up – anything that blocked Schuldig's telepathy would block their radios with ease. "Remember, Epitaph before anything else – don't get distracted. And we can't afford mercy down here."

"Ran, they were just kids."

"I know. But anyone we find down here is Estet and must die. Agreed?"

Yohji's eyes were regretful, but he nodded. "Agreed. Good hunting, guys. Omi, let's move."

"Okay. Be careful, gentlemen."

Ran couldn't help but clench his fist as he watched them walk away. Then he turned to Schuldig. "Let's go."

Schuldig hesitated, looking in the direction in which Yohji had gone. "Will he be okay?"

"He knows his job, Schu, and Omi will watch his back. I need you to watch mine. Come on."

No wonder they hadn't been able to find this place – even though it was huge, it was sufficiently far down to escape any sensors they could deploy from above, and it seemed to be quite self-contained. They kicked open the first door they came across, Schuldig crouching, ready to shoot anyone they encountered – but it was deserted. There were computers, yes, but none that were unusual. It was clearly some kind of research lab. "Where the fuck is this thing?" Schuldig said, taking out his frustration by stalking through the room and yanking out the power cables on all the PCs he could see.

"Not here. Let's move."

Further down the corridor, another room – this time, a classroom. Was this where the misguided students of S-Class were trained? Ran wondered how many had survived Groener's attack. They were, as Yohji had said, only kids and hadn't deserved to die for being brainwashed.

Back out, and another intersection. "Split up?" Schuldig asked.

"No. Follow me." They were already too dispersed.

He heard machinery humming and headed towards the sound – this time, the door would not be kicked down, and he had to use plastique, hunching down against the wall, arms over his head to protect himself and Schuldig as best he could. The interior revealed behind the damaged door was enormous - a massive power generator room, air-conditioning plant, clearly the heart of the underground facility's life support. Frustratingly, there was no sign of any supercomputer.

"We may as well interrupt their power sup...."

A malevolent chuckle interrupted Ran's orders and he whirled. For a second, he thought it was Farfarello come back to life – a white-blond pale man stood in the ruined doorway. But it was not Farfarello, of course. It was someone even worse. "Well, well...never thought I'd have the pleasure of seeing you again, my pretty vessel."

Istvan. The man who had triggered Omi's empathy more than two years before, the man who had raped him ruthlessly to torture Ran. Ran's throat contracted in raw fear, and Schuldig moved in front of him. "Fuck off," he said curtly, raising his gun, but then yelling in pain as his fingers seemed to twist back on themselves, forcing him to drop his weapon. He fell to his knees, his face contorted in agony.

"Schu!"

"Never mind our dear Bernd, pretty boy." Groener strolled casually into the room behind Istvan. "I owe you some pain, you little shit." Ran found himself paralysed once more, unable to lift even his little finger to stop Schuldig being dragged up by his hair, so Groener could sneer in his face. "What's the matter, Bernd? No fight left in you?"

Schuldig's body twisted in the pain he was obviously suffering but he seemed unable to breathe, let alone scream out. Groener dangled Schuldig one-handed by his hair – even though Ran knew he was injured, the man seemed not at all bothered by his wound, and was paying very little overt attention to his victim. "Are you saying that's the Fujimiya brat everyone's been looking for?"

Istvan came over to examine Ran more closely. When Ran had first encountered him, he hadn’t known what accent he was listening to, but now, with more experience, he realised the man was Russian or eastern European of some flavour. Not that it mattered. He was Estet. That was what mattered. Ran wished he could spit on him, but he couldn't even move his tongue. "Yeah. Not much to him, I know – not for all the trouble he's caused us. But it's worth a bit – might even earn us a promotion, Otto. You going to mess with that all night?"

"I might. It's been a long time, hasn't it, Bernd?" Groener said, licking Schuldig's cheek.

Istvan chuckled. "You have revolting taste, Otto. This one is a lot more fuckable – and he has a friend with the sweetest ass I ever ploughed. Tell me, pretty boy, is Blondie still around? I'd love to have a piece of that again."

Ran wanted to kill these men so badly he could almost taste the hate. He thought his heart would burst with the effort of breaking Groener's telekinetic hold on him, but it was no use. He wanted Groener's filthy hands off Schuldig now. But he'd forgotten what was in front of him, what he was. "What's the matter, pretty?" Istvan cooed, and then looked at Schuldig still in Groener's grasp. "Ah. Oh, look, Otto, the pretty boy likes your toy more than me, I think. Do you think they fuck?"

Even though he couldn't move, even though he was still in obvious pain, Schuldig's eyes pleaded with Ran. [D...don't ...give them....]

Don't give them a weapon. Ran understood. Istvan was an empath. He forced his hate down, deep down, pushed his shields as high as he could make them and made himself grow cold as ice. Istvan growled. "Oh no, pretty boy, you don't hide from me!"

He was slammed against the wall, Istvan's fingers digging cruelly into his forehead and cheekbone. "Let me in, pretty boy, I don't like people ignoring me."

His shields were suddenly shredded and his mind was laid open to Istvan's attention. He couldn't even close his eyes to get away from that pitiless blue gaze, which seemed to see into his sould and know all his dark, secretplaces. He began to feel a great upwelling of despair and grief, an unstoppable misery that made his eyes well with tears and his heart stutter in his chest. Hopeless, helpless – he wanted to lie down and beg someone to take his head to end the pain.... Tears began to slide down his face but he had no power at all to stop them.

[Ran!]

His lover's mental scream broke though the haze of pain. [Schu?]

He could only just see Schuldig over Istvan's shoulders, but he could tell Schuldig was on his knees, his head pulled back in an unnatural way. If Ran didn’t stop Groener, the telekinetic would tear Schuldig in half - if Schuldig was lucky, that was.

What could he do, unable to move or even speak? All that he had was the link between him and Schuldig, and all he could do was try somehow to use it. Concentrating was hard with the emotions Istvan was pouring into him, stirring up pain, forcing him to revisit every humiliation, every loss, every moment of anguish his short but eventful life had brought him. Remembering in perfect clarity the moment he discovered his parents' body, as if he was seventeen again, fresh from the festival outing with Aya-chan. Seeing that bastard Takatori mow her down. The first time he killed for pay. Sendai. The temple of the Elders. Seeing Aya...seeing Aya....

He fought the memories and the emotions surging in him, struggled past all the ghosts, his family, his lost team, even his targets. But then Yohji appeared, big eyes sorrowful, reproaching him for letting him walk into danger and asking why he had ignored Schu's warnings. That, on top of everything else, nearly broke him, and he reached for his lover to keep him safe. But Yohji seemed perpetually out of Ran's reach, until he forced himself to realise that Yohji's hair was no longer so long or so dark, and this too, was a phantom. They were only cruel illusions, every one of them. Not real. Schuldig was real. He focussed on Schuldig, stretching his mind to that of his lover's. [Hold on! Use me, use my strength! Fight him, Schuldig!]

He wasn't even sure he had anything to offer Schuldig, or if Schuldig was even in any position to use it, but all they had between them now was that link – their love, their friendship, strengthening a strangely forged bond. He had no idea how it worked, or if he could even do what he was trying to do. But he imagined it in his mind, and he reached for Schuldig along it because they had nothing left to lose.

[Ran! Again!]

It was working! Furiously, he pushed all of himself, channelling the power even of those images that were being called up by Istvan, all the negativity, blasting it along the channel, good and bad energies – everything he could drag up in his mind, he fed to Schuldig, hoping his lover could somehow use it.

He didn't know how long he could keep it up. He could feel his mind beginning to crack under the dual strains of what Istvan was doing and what he himself was attempting, and he didn't think he could do it much longer before he went insane. But then he heard a scream. He couldn't identify whose it was, so raw and animalistic was it, but suddenly he could move. His hand came up almost without willing it, still holding the gun, and he shot Istvan through his heart. The empath died with an astonished look on his face, his hands clutching uselessly at Ran's chest until Ran moved aside and let the bastard fall.

He wasted no time in gloating as he rushed over to the other two. Schuldig was collapsed on the floor, but it was Groener who was writhing in pain – from the determined look on Schuldig's face, Ran could guess why, but he was not going to take the risk of the telekinetic breaking free. He shot Groener in the back, and then in the head – twice, just to be sure.

As Groener died, Schuldig went strangely limp. Ran dropped down beside him quickly, raising his head up onto Ran's knees. "Schu! Schuldig?"

Schuldig coughed, opened his eyes and then chuckled weakly, clutching his broken hand to his chest. "Ouch."

Ran pulled him into a very careful hug. "I thought you were dead."

[Close, Liebling. Too fucking close. I ...I would be if Groener didn't like playing with his food so much.] Schuldig closed his eyes, his mouth a thin line in an otherwise bloodless face.

"Are you injured anywhere else?"

"Ribs. Broke 'em – heard 'em snap." Ran winced. "Yeah. Give me...one... minute."

Ran looked at his watch. There were only two minutes left to when they'd said they would meet the others. "I'm getting you out."

Schuldig reached up with his good hand clutched weakly at Ran's chest. "Yohji. Omi. Leave me."

"Not on your life. Get on your feet, Mastermind. I'm not leaving anyone behind."

Getting to a standing position was torture for Schuldig, Ran could see, and helping him up was a delicate procedure because of his ribs. But once he was upright, and holding his injured hand close to himself, he declared he could move. Not especially fast, but he could hold a gun. Ran insisted on rigging a sling for him using Groener's belt. "We'll go back to the rendezvous point – you should go back, Schuldig."

"Not until we find the others," Schuldig said stubbornly.

Ran only nodded. He understood the mentality perfectly. "Then move, and don't hold me up."

Schuldig bared his teeth. "I can still move faster than you, Ran – if I don’t mind puncturing a lung."

"Spare me the macho crap, and stay behind me." Ran pressed his cheek quickly against his lover's. "Don't get hurt any more either."

It was a sign he was still rattled that he almost forgot what they had been planning to do when they had been interrupted, until Schuldig pointed silently at the generator. It was the work of only a minute to lay the explosives and then move down the corridor – he'd set them on a ten minute timer so they would be well clear.

Omi was waiting for them where they had arranged. "I found it, and I've already gained access. I can start the destruct on the discs, but I need plastique for the hardware."

"Where's Yohji?"

"He ran off after Susan – I told him to make sure she didn't escape. But he's got the explosives."

Ran swore. "Where's Epitaph?"

"This way," Omi said, leading them quickly down the corridor. "Schuldig, how badly are you hurt?"

"I'll survive. Ran – Yohji."

Ran shook his head. "Computer, then Yohji. He can handle her until we get there."

He knew Schuldig would be angry at his priorities, but he had a job to do, and his personal feelings came last. Yohji was doing his job. Ran was not going to let Yohji's efforts be wasted.

There were two dead technicians lying on the ground in the room where an entire wall was taken up by a dizzying array of monitors and a small desk with a single keyboard on it. Omi sat down in front of them and began to type. "I'm isolating it," he said, "and erasing the backups. Ran, the processors are behind the wall panels – we need to destroy them completely after I've erased as much as I can via software."

"She was in here?" Ran began to pry the metal panels off the wall.

"Yeah," Omi said, his fingers never pausing. "Yohji pulled his gun and she ran – I told him to go after her. We can't afford to let her go free."

Schuldig watched him work, but he wasn't up to doing much more than that. That was okay – Ran had destroyed computers before, and this one would be a pleasure to remove. "What about remote backups?"

"I've already sent a code there to order them to erase themselves – they're set to self-destruct if they're ever erased that way. Once I get confirmation, I'll take this down and we can set the explosives on a timer."

"Time?"

"Ten minutes, Ran. I can't rush this, it's what we’re here to do."

Ran gritted his teeth and concentrated on his task. Yohji would be fine, he told himself. She ran away, she was unarmed. He'll be back any minute.

But he wasn't. "I'm done – Omi, can you handle this end of it?"

"Yes, go, find him. If you're not back by the time I'm done, I'll come after you."

"No, wait, take Schuldig with you above ground – I can find Yohji."

"Nein, I'm coming with you," Schuldig said grimly, peeling himself with obvious difficulty off the wall he'd been leaning against. "You don't know what else they may have to throw at us."

Ran looked at Schuldig, assessed his state, and then nodded. "All right. But you stay behind me. You're in no condition to fight, and you damn well better not even try."

"Yes, understood."

"Omi, Epitaph has to be destroyed. Nothing else matters."

"Got it. Go. They went left."

Ran couldn't wait for Schuldig to catch up – he hoped in a way he would not, but Schuldig was right, he really didn't know what other paranormals there might be down here.

At the end of the corridor was a heavy security door – wide enough to drive a vehicle through, and not something they could blast their way past. "Schuldig, are they in there?"

"I can't.... Wait." With a effort, Schuldig found his controller and punched in a code. "Not yet... yes! I can just feel them because they're talking."

"Can you get the access code out of her head?"

"No – any higher on the implant and I'll kill you, and possibly both of us."

"Fuck." Ran began to examine the lock, laying the electronic decoder next to the keypad and setting it running. It would take a couple of minutes. "What the hell are they doing? Are they both alive?"

"Yes. They're talking – she's arguing with Yohji." Schuldig pulled a face. "She's telling him how he was the perfect candidate for her memory wipe and how she wanted to spare him all the pain he was suffering."

"Damn bitch...."

"It's okay," Schuldig said wearily. "He's telling her where to stick that idea. She's not happy."

"Why the hell isn't he shooting her?"

"It's Yohji, Ran. He's probably going to try and capture her."

Fuck. Ran glared at the device and tried to make it work faster but it ignored him. "Now what's happening?"

Schuldig frowned, but whether because he was in pain or because he couldn't tell easily, Ran didn't know. "She's doing something...I can't tell, she's gone quiet again. God damn it, get this fucking door open, Ran!"

"I'm trying, damn it!"

He was staring so hard at the decoder that when the lights changed, he almost missed it, but he shook himself as he punched in the code revealed in the display. The heavy doors began to slide apart, and Ran forced his way through them as soon as he could – Schuldig would have to make shift for himself, Ran couldn't wait for him. He found himself at the top of a set of stairs. Susan Blyth-Jones was at the next level below them, standing in front of a panel of monitors, and on the ground, Yohji was staring up at her. "Yohji!" Ran yelled.

Susan looked upwards in astonishment, and then back down at Yohji. "You fool!" she yelled furiously. "I was going to spare you, let you enjoy the benefits of my work, but now.... David!"

David? Ran heard a hiss as if compressed gas was being released, and then a door in the wall beside the monitors swung open. He took aim with his gun, but found it plucked from his hand by an unseen force. "Ran!" Schuldig cried, his own gun flying across the chamber. He was spun around and hurled face first against the wall, his head hitting it with a sickening crack.

"Schu!" Ran dashed to his side. "Yohji, just kill her!" Schuldig was unconscious, lolling in a unpleasantly corpse-like fashion. At least he was still breathing. Ran turned him quickly on his side so he didn't choke, and stood just in time to see Yohji also being flung across the floor. What the hell was going on?

And then he saw. A slim, young man, seemingly no older than fourteen or fifteen and dressed in a strange pale tunic, was standing next to Susan. He laughed and gestured. Yohji floated helplessly in the air before being thrown against the wall again, sagging like a discarded pile of clothing on the floor.

"Do you see, Yohji?" Susan said contemptuously. "There's so much more to this than you think. You've got nothing that I can't take from you as I please, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. David is the future, and I am the mother of the future!"

You're just a psycho, Ran thought angrily, but he stayed silent, assessing how he could possibly get down there and help Yohji while such a powerful telekinetic was on the loose.

To his amazement, Yohji just smiled, even though blood was beginning to dribble down his chin. "I haven't underestimated you, Susan. I was prepared to give you a chance to live, but you've got nothing I want to take from you." He reached inside his jacket, and drew out a small device, pressing a button on it.

The explosion sent Ran hard against the edge of the door. For a moment, all he could see was stars. How the fuck had Yohji set a bomb without her seeing it? And what, exactly, had he blown up? Ran crawled to the end of the platform and peered down. There was rubble everywhere, dust billowing in the air which made it hard to see. It looked as if Yohji had destroyed the computer and monitors, but he'd also taken out the stairs – all that remained was the platform on which Ran lay. Susan and the boy were lying prone on the second level where they'd been standing. Below them at the ground level, Yohji sat slumped against a wall, apparently unconscious, but as Ran looked at him, he opened his eyes, and smiled weakly up at him. He wasn't moving. Ran wasn't sure he could, but he refused to think about that for now. "Surprise," Yohji said, before coughing hideously, and wincing.

"I'll surprise you. How are we supposed to get you out now?"

Yohji's smiled died. "You don't, love. You leave me behind."

"Never."

"Yes. Schuldig's hurt?"

"Yes, but...."

"Enough!" Susan staggered to her feet, blood streaming down her dust-covered face, holding her arm as if it was badly hurt. "David, go down there and kill him with your bare hands," she spat venomously. "I want him to die in agony. I want to see it with my own eyes!" The boy rose to his feet. He too seemed to be bearing injuries and his clothing was torn in several places, but he was completely calm, almost like an automaton, as he walked down to the next level to do her bidding.

"Yohji!" Ran yelled, casting desperately about for his gun, but it was nowhere to be seen. He pulled his sword and sheath from the webbing on his back and threw it to his lover, who caught it clumsily in one hand but made no attempt to use it or to stand. "Yohji!"

"Yohji, Yohji, " Susan mocked in a sing-song voice. "Weiss is so pathetic. You're pathetic. "

"And you're just dead," a quiet voice said from behind Ran, and then Susan's left eye was suddenly sprouting a crossbow bolt. She fell over like a sack of wheat.

"Mother! No!" David screamed in a hideous wail of raw grief. Before Omi could take aim again, his bow was torn from his hand and hurled against the far wall of the chamber, and Omi was tossed aside like a stuffed doll. David began to advance on Yohji with murderous intent, no doubt planning to kill them all at his leisure, as he could clearly do at a whim.

As David got closer to Yohji, Ran knew then they were dead. Out of time, weapons and luck. He believed in miracles, but they were out of those too.

Or perhaps, not quite. Suddenly there was an enormous explosion behind them, out in the corridor – and the lights went out. Three seconds later, there was a low moan, and as the emergency lighting came up, bathing them all in a pale green glow, Ran looked down. Omi's throwing knife was buried in David's back and the boy was lying in Yohji's arms, his head cradled in a strangely child-like way on Yohji's chest. His lips were moving, but Ran couldn't hear what he said, not what Yohji said in response. Then the boy went limp, and Yohji patted his head gently before looking up. "He's gone. You guys better get out of here," he said calmly.

"We need to get you out," Ran called urgently. "Wait and I'll get down...."

"Ran, my arm, my leg are busted. I can't stand, let alone walk, and the stairs are gone. Omi – have you set your explosives?"

"Yes. We've got two minutes, Ran."

"We can...."

"No!" Ran was amazed how calm Yohji sounded, how authoritative. It terrified him because it meant Yohji would not dissuaded from his decided course of action. "Ran, get the fuck out of here, get Schuldig and Omi out of here. Don't let them all die for me."

"I'm not leaving you to die here!"

It was Ran's favourite nightmare come to life, but Yohji only smiled. "You're not. I'm telling you to leave. Please, Ran – don't make this all a waste. Live, dammit – that's all I ever wanted for you."

"I can't! Yohji...."

"Ran...go. I'll...I'll be okay." He gestured to his side. "I'll... bring your sword back. I promise. But you have to go."

"Ran, he's right," Omi said, his goggles now pushed back on his forehead again, his expression determined but grim. "Schuldig is too heavy for one of us to carry and he's hurt. We can't save them both."

"You're making me choose?"

"Ran – there is only one choice. You can't save Yohji. Not now. But you can save Schuldig."

Ran stared in desperation down at his lover, half sitting against the wall. "I can't leave you behind, Yohji. I swore no one would be left behind!"

"You've got no choice, darlin'. You've got a job to do. Go help Schu. "

Omi plucked at his sleeve again, and the muffled explosions Ran could hear starting meant they were almost out of time whatever he did. "I'll find you, Yohji. I'll bring you back, I swear! Whatever it takes."

"I know. Love you, Ran."

Ran raised his hand, his chest so tight from worry that he thought it would burst, and then made himself turn to where Omi was trying to help Schuldig. "He's got broken ribs," he said grimly.

"That's the least of our problems."

But then there was another explosion, far closer – in the hall itself. Ran dashed to the edge of the platform but could see nothing in the fresh clouds of dust and the dim light. "Yohji!" He twisted to look at Omi. "Can you see anything? Give me your goggles!"

Omi eased Schuldig to the ground and ripped the night vision goggles off. "Hurry, Ran – we have to get out of here, I think the place might be mined to self-destruct if Epitaph is destroyed."

Ran ignored him, and searched desperately for any sign of Yohji... gods! "Omi, he's buried, we have to get down there!"

But Omi pushed him back from the edge of the platform. "No – Ran, we can't get down there, we've got an injured man up here. Will you lose Schuldig for a hopeless mission?"

"Yohji....Omi, it's my vision, it must be and Schuldig said he might be dead in that!"

Omi gripped his shoulders. "Ran, Yohji's either dead or he's not. But we can't help him. Do you understand?"

"No, I can't accept that," Ran insisted and tried to get away from Omi, but his friend shook him hard again, shocking him into realising that Omi was weeping, glaring furiously through the tears that streaked down his filthy face.

"Stop it. Just stop. Don't make me lose everyone tonight. Yohji... Yohji wants you to live, Ran. Don't waste his sacrifice." Omi shook him again, but much more gently. "You're the leader. Lead us out."

Ran choked back his own tears and the anger and the desperation, and got a grip on himself. "All...all right. Let's move."

Omi nodded and returned to Schuldig's still form. "Take his shoulders, I'll get his legs."

Ran forced himself not to look back at where Yohji lay, to do as Omi instructed and to help their fallen team mate – the only one they could help.

But even as he helped manoeuvre Schuldig as gently as they could, and handed Omi back the goggles so he could lead the way out into the corridor, Ran could not bury his anguish, or forget his promise, a solemn oath, bound on the souls of his sister and his parents.

He would come back for Yohji. He would.

When Ken heard the first dull thuds of underground explosions, he felt a surge of despair even though there was no evidence that his team was trapped or that there was any reason to worry more than he had been. No one else seemed to be worried – in fact, the general response was elation, and after a furious exchange of rapid radio messages between Walker and his team, he told Errol to place the calls which would trigger the arrests and raids around the world.

No one except Ken seemed to be concerned about what was happening to Weiss - no one except Ken and his wife who came to his side and knelt down. She took his hand but said nothing. What could they say? Until they knew what had gone down, there was no point in wailing. But Ken felt he had somehow betrayed Weiss, left them in the lurch, and he had never done that before. And something told him – just a gut feeling – that something had gone sour. His gut feelings were usually damn reliable.

More explosions, louder now, and a burst of radio messages coming from all over the site. "Bloody hell, they've triggered mines," Walker said, before issuing curt commands for his people to pull back to the perimeters.

"What's going on?" Ken demanded. He had to shout to be heard now.

"Buildings collapsing – fires everywhere. We're going to have to get out of here now. Ridgeway, assist Mr and Mrs Saki, take them to the safe house."

"No, wait!" Ken said, forcing his chair out of Ridgeway's grasp. "What about the others?"

"Right now, I need to worry about the agents I have above ground, Saki. Cooperate or I'll just have you arrested." Walker was interrupted by another call on his radio. "Okay, that's it – everyone, pull out, back to the car park on the other side of the street."

"Please, let me stay!" Ken pleaded. "Take Louise out, but let me stay to see. Mr Walker, they're my team."

Walker seemed to ignore him for a moment, but then he said without turning, "I promised Homura you'd both be safe. Whatever happened to him and others. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave, Mr Saki."

Louise, who had stood when Ridgeway came to take charge of Ken's chair. "Please, Mr Walker. We'll be safe if we wait with you. You'd still be keeping your word."

He turned to glare at her, but she kept looking at him calmly and finally he nodded curtly. "Very well. For now. Just bloody move – this building could be compromised, those explosions are getting too close for comfort."

Thank you, love, Ken told her in his head as he squeezed her hand in silent thanks.

The next few minutes were raw confusion. People were running everywhere - firemen, police, heading towards the burning college, local people being cleared onto the street and evacuated. Walker's men moved efficiently and silently among both civilians and emergency service personnel, attracting no attention, perhaps being assumed to be police, perhaps not being noticed against the backdrop of the drama unfolding at the college, where flames were shooting dozens of metres into the night sky. Explosions were happening every few seconds. Ken prayed Weiss were still safe underground, and that all the real danger was above – but he was uneasily aware that if Estet had set off a self-destruct programme, it was more likely to be aimed below ground than above it.

Ken and Louise were whisked in a van to the top story of a multi-story car park a few hundred metres from the college, one commandeered by Walker with the cooperation of the police and where a command centre was rapidly set up. Exposed to the cold night air, it was even more uncomfortable than the shop, but Ken hardly cared. His attention was fixed on two things – the many radio messages coming in over several receivers, and the burning building they could now see below them at a safe but still close distance. Seen from here, it looked like a holocaust. Could anyone – anything – survive?

Louise stood silently behind him as they watched, listened and prayed. Weiss had always had the luck of the devil, but even that had to run out one day. They'd come close all those years ago, but although they were bloodied and damaged, they had survived.

He reached for Louise's hand and held it tight. He could hardly bear to see what he was seeing, but he felt it was his duty to watch, record and remember. If nothing else, his child would know exactly what price was paid for their safety.

But, fuck, he never expected to be the last of Weiss. It didn't seem right - or fair. Not after all they'd survived to now.

Was this why Omi had wanted Louise to come with him, so Ken would not be alone, to have someone who would help him through? He refused to accept this was the end. Surely there was some tiny crumb of luck still left for them – all they'd ever needed was a crumb. "Come back, guys. Come home safe," he whispered, as tears he was barely aware of, cooled on his face under the frosty, pitiless sky.

Lights. Pain. Pain in his head, body. Sharp pricking, on hand and arm. Confused, angry voices. More lights, and motion, swaying, making him want to vomit. Another prick on his arm, and then the nausea went, but not the pain. The throbbing, the agony, hardly stopped.

More sounds, voices asking questions he couldn't understand, and weariness. Needing to sleep. At last, peace....

....His head hurt. His eyes hurt. His hair hurt. His vision was blurry but his hearing seemed hypersensitive. Long-held habit made him stay perfectly still while he assessed where he was. Smell – hospital. Body – injured, possibly badly. Sounds – people around, and someone... someone close, distorting the sound waves infinitesimally. He realised that staying silent was pointless - if he was a prisoner, it was already too late for discretion. "Who's there?" His throat, mouth, were dry as ashes and he could make no more noise than a whisper.

But it was enough. "It's me, Ran. Louise."

He squinted and turned his head. Then he stopped doing that because it fucking hurt, fierce pain lancing up his back and neck so that he could have screamed with the agony. "Where?"

"A medical centre in a secure facility in Kent. The place where you guys went on Sunday."

Ah. She moved into his line of sight, and even though he couldn't see that clearly, he could sense she seemed tired. "Yohji. Schu. Where?"

She took his hand in hers and gave him a sip of water – even this small amount made him feel nauseated – before she answered. "Ran, hon, let me get the doctor, okay? He'll need to speak to...."

He squeezed her hand weakly. He knew the tone of someone trying to let him know bad news gently, but he was prepared – at least he thought he was – for the worst. "Tell me. Dead?"

He held his breath for her reply, sure of what she would say, but when she quickly said, "No, no, Ran – they're not dead, they're here in the hospital too," the relief was so instantaneous that tears actually welled up in his eyes. "Oh, Ran, don't cry." She dabbed gently at his face with a tissue. "Let me go get Omi, at least. Please – he's been waiting to see you."

Omi. Yohji. Schu. Not dead. The tears continued to leak embarrassingly, but he wasn't sure why when the news was so much better than he had feared. Somehow, they had survived. He couldn't work out quite how. His memory of what happened was very hazy and mainly consisted of emotions and confused images. Noises, explosions, dust and smoke billowing, blinding them with the acrid taste of chemicals. Urgency as the roof began to collapse. Grief - because he had left Yohji behind, failed as a lover and a team mate to keep him safe and get him out. Fear because Schuldig looked very bad and his breathing was wrong. But not much more. He definitely remembered thinking that this time they really were all going to die.

But he wasn't dead, and neither were the others. How this had happened, he couldn't fathom. For the moment, everything else was unimportant next to the single, inexplicable, miraculous fact. They were alive.

He blinked, trying to clear his vision, and it seemed to help, although there was some unpleasant sparkling with which he was familiar from other head injuries, and he undoubtedly had hit his head hard somewhere along the way. He was just cautiously beginning to assess what exactly he had broken, bruised or torn when a harried-looking doctor came in, followed by an equally harried-looking Omi. Or rather, an exhausted, worried looking Omi. "Awake again, Mr Midoru? That's good. I'm Dr Davis. Let me look at you."

Ran endured the lights in the eyes and the tedious questions designed to find out just how many marbles he'd lost – answer, probably none – before he glared up at the woman. "Yohji, Schuldig. Where are they? Are they okay?"

Omi came closer. "Ran.... They're not doing so well, but...."

"What? Where are they? Can I see them?"

He tried to raise himself from the bed, but the doctor's restraining hands were unnecessary – his body soon told him what an appalling idea it was to try and move. "Omi, tell me!"

"Doctor? He needs to know. He's their domestic partner."

The doctor raised an eyebrow in obvious surprise, but didn’t question Omi's pronouncement. "All right, but I want you to stay calm, Mr Midoru. Mr Schumacher is the one giving us most concern, since he has a skull fracture and we had to operate to stop the intracranial bleeding and treat the haematoma...."

"Fracture... bleeding...." Ran repeated faintly. Aya – just like Aya....

She didn't seem to notice he'd spoken. "We resolved that, but until he wakes up, we won't be able to assess how much brain damage he might have sustained. We had to remove his implant as it was very close to the site of impact on the frontal lobe."

"Brain damage... he's in a coma? Omi?"

Omi nodded, clearly upset. "I'm afraid so, Ran. But his chances of waking up are good – it's only been a couple of days and his vitals are good. You knew about his ribs and his hand, but he also had a collapsed lung and they had to remove his spleen...."

Ran stared up at them. "Is he going to die?"

"We certainly hope not," she said firmly. "Don't be too concerned about the coma. That's something we've induced because we've been keeping his brain activity deliberately lowered – his special abilities mean that his brain works harder than a normal person's, and we can't take the risk just now of his telepathy becoming active and triggering brain swelling. I won't lie to you – he's very ill, and at the moment we're not allowing any visitors. My staff have dealt with lot of neurological cases, Mr Midoru, and we've handled some of the worst injuries sustained in bomb blasts and plane crashes – you won't find a better trauma team anywhere else in the country. He's young, fit, and he's in good hands. That's all to his benefit."

"And Yohji?"

"Ah." Now the doctor looked less certain and actually seemed to check with Omi who nodded. "He's somewhat more of a puzzle. His physical injuries are not as severe as Mr Schumacher's – he's got a fractured arm and a dislocated knee, and some really quite nasty bruising and torn muscles in the chest and back – but that doesn't explain why he's unconscious."

"Coma? Yohji too?"

Omi shook his head. "Not really a coma as such – he's just unrousable. His brain is actually very active but he doesn't seem to respond to any outside stimuli like voices – not even touch or smell, although he reacts to pain. He took a bit of a knock to the head but nothing like you or Schu. They don't really know what's going on."

Ran clenched his fist weakly and found he had a drip running into the back of his hand. "But he'll wake up? He's going to make it?"

"We don't believe he's in any danger at the moment, although it's rather worrying to not know what is causing his unconsciousness," the doctor said. "But it won't help to fret about it – you've been injured too, you know. That really was a bad concussion and you'll be feeling it for a good while yet. As you've discovered for yourself, you've also got some rather bad bruising and torn muscles. I understand you stopped a wall falling on your companions with your body," she said dryly, but with a slight smile.

Ran didn't care if she was impressed or not. "I need to see them."

"No, I'm sorry, Mr Midoru. You're in no shape, and neither are they, not today at least. I'll make sure you're kept informed of any changes in their condition, I promise that. Now, are you in a lot of pain?"

"It's bearable. Doctor, please."

She pursed her lips in annoyance. "Look, you're not going to help anyone if you're difficult. If you push this or try to go see them before I give permission, I would remind you that you're in a Ministry of Defence facility and I can have you placed in secure custody. Do you want that?"

She wasn't going to back down, so he had to. "I'm just worried."

She patted his arm. "Yes, I'm sure. It's difficult when your loved ones are hurt, but they're in the best possible hands. Now, I need to get back to them. I've prescribed a muscle relaxant which you need, whether you think you do or not – patients in pain heal more slowly. Now, get some rest. You'll probably not want to do much but sleep and that I would recommend, at least, for a day or so."

She left them alone then. Ran was bone weary, but no way could he sleep. "Omi, tell me what's going on. Is she lying? Will Schuldig die?" He coughed, and Omi gave him another sip of water. He really felt like shit, but he was too worried to care.

"Ran, she told you exactly what she told me. Schuldig is in intensive care, and we really don't know what brain damage he's sustained. He lost a lot of blood before they managed to rescue us, but they don't think he was affected by that. The main thing was the skull fracture and the bruising his brain sustained."

Ran again noted how utterly exhausted Omi seemed. "Are you hurt? What about Ken?"

"I've got some bruises and a couple of cuts – nothing at all, really. Ken is absolutely fine, and so is Louise. He's just getting some sleep – it's been a long couple of days for everyone."

Louise was standing in the background, and she too was obviously wanting sleep. "You waited with me?" he asked.

She came a little closer. "We didn't want you to wake up alone and be worried about things."

"That was kind. Thank you."

She twisted her hands. "I'm sorry about Yohji and Schu, Ran. I wish there was something we could do to help."

He knew the feeling of utter impotence only too well, and she had obligations and concerns on top of worry for her team mates. "You are helping, you've helped us all. Thank you. Please, go find Ken and get some sleep."

She glanced at Omi. "Yes, go on, Louise. I'll sit with Ran for a while. Get some rest. You've got more than enough to worry about."

She came forward, and to Ran's surprise, bent down and kissed his cheek. "They'll come through, Ran. They have so much to come back for."

He was too surprised to do more than blink before she left. Omi took his place in the seat she'd clearly been using before Ran had woken up. "You should get some sleep too, Omi."

"Too many things to think about, Ran," he said simply, but he propped his elbows on the bed and rubbed his forehead. "How do you feel?"

"Like a wall fell on me."

"Actually, it was a ceiling which did most of the damage, not the wall."

Ran grunted at the unimportant difference. "Can't you persuade them to let me see them for a minute at least?"

"Even if I could, which I can't, I wouldn't, Ran. It would upset you for no purpose and you're just not in a fit state to handle that right now." Omi looked at him with wise, tired eyes. "I know this is bringing back the worst memories, but Weiss has survived before, even worse than this. We will again. I know we will."

Ran wished he had Omi's faith. He also wished he'd not been so brave about the pain relief, because his head was killing him, and every slight movement he made hurt like hell. Omi finally realised he was having difficulties. "I'm going to get the nurse. No, don't argue with me, Fujimiya Ran - I've watched you lying there for two days and I'm not watching you suffer any more." And without waiting for Ran's reply, he dashed out.

Ran almost smiled – Omi sounded so much like Yohji just then – but then his heart twisted. What was wrong with Yohji? And would Schuldig really recover? If they would just let him see them... but Omi was right, he knew in his heart of hearts. Seeing the trappings of serious illness – the machines, the drips, the monitors, would make it worse, even if they didn't necessarily mean things were worse.

Omi was back in a minute with a young man in a white tunic, who smiled cheerfully and adjusted something to Ran's left which he couldn't see. "Nice to see you're awake, Mr Midoru. You're in pain?"

"Not much." Omi frowned at him.

"I see. On a scale of one to ten, one being sore, ten being excruciating, how would you rank it?"

"Two," he said grudgingly. Why wouldn't people let him deal with this himself?

"Okay, so I'm thinking that's probably a four," the nurse said with a grin.

"Try five or six," Omi corrected. "Ran, don't be an ass."

"Never mind, Mr Homura, we can bring it back to two and then he'll be telling the truth, won't he?" Ran glared at the man as he quickly injected a dose of something or other into the IV. "Stop trying to be stoic. The kind of bruising and muscle damage you have, will only be worse if you tense up and don't rest. We can switch you to oral pain relief when you are up and about. That'll be in a couple of days. Do you need anything? You can have a light meal if you want."

Ran felt immediately nauseated at the very idea of food. "No, thank you. I'll let you know."

"That's fine. We'll leave you on the drip until you feel like eating. That concussion will be making you feel queasy, but it should settle down. I'll be checking on you, but use the call button if you need help with anything - there's a full staff here around the clock."

The guy gave him another reassuring smile and left. Omi sat down again. The pain medication seemed to be working already, and with the lessening of the pain, Ran could feel a lassitude creeping over him which made it hard to stay awake, although he forced himself to do so. "Did we succeed? Was it worth it?"

"Oh yes. Utterly. Be thankful we're isolated here – the press are having a field day about the evil mind-washing organisation. Epitaph is destroyed, and Estet is being exposed. You have no idea how pleased everyone is."

"The mother of all victories?" Ran said, unable to keep a slightly sarcastic edge out of his voice.

"In complete seriousness, Ran. The operation was even bigger than we thought it was." But then Omi smiled. "You're falling asleep, and you need to rest."

"So do you. What time is it anyway?" There were no windows and the artificial lighting gave him no clues

"Er... three am?" He stared owlishly at his watch. "I hadn't realised it was so late. Um... early."

"Go to bed, Omi. Keep the others in bed too. I'm okay."

Omi patted his hand. "All right. I'd like to be noble, but I've not had more than an hour's sleep in forty eight hours, so I won't even try."

"Where are you sleeping?"

"For now, here in the hospital. If you need me, call a nurse, whatever time it is. Ran, try not to worry too much, okay? You know that's not going to help them or be what they want."

"Easier said."

"Yes. I know. I'll be back in a few hours. Get some sleep."

He left, switching off the light, so the room was only lit by the fluorescent strips in the corridor. Ran didn't believe he could really sleep, but the tug of his exhaustion was insistent, and however much he wanted to keep his lovers in his thoughts, he just couldn't. The aches of his body faded and he drifted down into an uneasy, confused doze, and then deeper, until all conscious thought disappeared and he just finally let go.

Ken didn't want to get up. He had had so little sleep in the past seventy two hours, he had almost begun to hallucinate by the time he'd admitted defeat just before one o'clock, and when he had woken just now, he knew he had not really begun to make up the deficit. He glanced across at the other bed – Louise was sound asleep, her face drawn and worried looking even in unconsciousness, and he wouldn't dream of disturbing her. But he was now wide awake and he knew from experience he would not get back to sleep. He used the hanging bar to get into his wheelchair from the high hospital bed, found his clothes stacked neatly by Louise on a small locker at the end of the bed, and then used the bathroom for minimal ablutions – he'd shower and shave later once he found out what was happening. His watch told him it was eight o'clock - seven hours since he'd gone to bed, but he still felt exhausted. He wheeled out to the nurses station and was informed that Ran had woken up again earlier that morning and this time, had been lucid enough to be informed of the condition of his lovers and team mates. That presumably explained Louise's finally leaving her post at his side, and Ken guessed Ran had probably insisted on Omi going to bed too.

"How are Yohji and Schu, Gary?"

He'd got to know all the nurses and doctors in the two days since Ran and the others had been dug out of the ruins of the Surrey Institute. It was a small team of men and women with wicked senses of humour and total dedication to their jobs – Ken had encountered a lot of medical personnel over the years, and these struck him as some of the very best. It had helped allay some of the crippling anxiety over his friends, at least.

"No change in Yohji, Ken," Gary said, checking his notes. "Schu, we think is starting to respond. We might be asking you all to spend a little time with him to help stimulate him a bit. Now Ran is awake, he can help if he's up to it."

Ken knew that his own presence was going to be vital for a while – with Schuldig's implant removed, and the effects of the brain injury unknown, Omi and MI6 had both been adamant that he could not be allowed to bring his telepathy back on line until they were sure he could control it. Ken felt Omi was worried about the effect on Schuldig himself. He very much doubted MI6 gave a damn about that. "Should I go over and see him now?"

"Wait until Dr Davis has a word with you all," Gary said. "You should get yourself some food. I'll let anyone who needs to know how to find you."

Food seemed a good idea. Since he wasn't actually a patient, Ken had to go to the canteen that served the whole facility, but he didn't mind. There was always a meal available, and it wasn't bad (by British standards, he always amended mentally). He guessed it wouldn't be too much longer before living underground like this, without any access to fresh air or daylight, drove him crazy, but right now, it just made him feel much safer – he didn't have to worry that anything else would happen to his people and Louise was completely protected from danger. After the last few days, that was a very precious sensation.

Cereal and toast were the most harmless options, and there was coffee that was actually drinkable, so all in all, breakfast was pretty good in the depths of MI6-land.

"Oh, I hope there's still some left – I need coffee. Preferably intravenously."

Ken grinned at Omi as he came around from behind him. "It's a bottomless pot as far as I can see."

"Can I join you?"

"Sure. It's not like I've got anything else to do."

Omi's breakfast was much more austere than Ken's – just toast and butter - but he had his coffee, which he sipped like he was making love to it. Even if he hadn’t said a word about needing it, Ken would have guessed from the deep shadows under his eyes. "What time did you get to bed?"

"Mmm? Oh, three. Ran woke up."

"So I heard." Ken traced a circle in a coffee spill on the table. "How did he take it?"

"How do you think? Take your worst nightmare and double it – and I have nothing to offer as reassurance. Schuldig may be severely brain damaged, and who knows what's up with Yohji." Omi set his cup down. "This is all entirely my fault. I should have sent Yohji home, and I should never have brought Weiss over here."

Ken reached over and whacked Omi on the side of the head, earning himself an irritated glare. "Love that twenty-twenty hindsight thing you guys all have going for you. I'm not even going to bother trying to tell you how wrong you are, Omi – but I'll tell you this and you better listen. This isn't helping anyone, least of all you. Ran won't want to hear it, and neither will anyone else. So find a new song to yodel – that one sucks."

Omi raised his eyebrows. "Yodel?"

"Hum, whistle, don't distract me when I'm being right." Omi slumped slightly. "Hey, Gary says Schu's starting to rouse."

Now that had an impact. "Really? Gods, that's good news. The sooner he comes out of that coma, the sooner we'll know what we're facing. It's not knowing about the two of them that's killing me."

"Yeah, I know. What's happening with the null field generator?"

"Should be here tomorrow along with a scientist to set it up. ASIO are using it as a useful testing opportunity," Omi said with a sour twist to his mouth.

"Whatever works, Omi. What will they do if Schuldig can't control his powers, and can't learn to do that?"

"We'll cross that bridge later, Ken. Right now, I just want him to wake up and start being rude to me again."

Ken nodded. This situation was hard on all of them but Omi was carrying an inescapable burden of guilt, however much Ken tried to convince him it was just stupid to feel that way. "Well if he really is starting to come out of the coma, maybe soon he will be sitting here throwing insults at all of us."

"I really hope so. If he comes through, then I feel sure Yohji will. Never again, Ken. We're not doing this again."

Ken felt indulging Omi's need for self-flagellation over the injuries to his team wouldn't help anyone right now. "Time for big decisions later, Omi." He picked up his tray. "I've going to shower and see if Louise is awake – I guess she went to bed when you did?"

"More or less. Let her sleep, she's pulled her weight and then some." Omi rubbed his eyes. "How many months is she now?'

"Nearly three. Why?"

"I was wondering how long she's prepared to be over here. Maybe I should send you back now, but I have to admit, I would like you both around. Purely selfish of me, of course."

"Like you don't have a right to the support of the people whose job it is to support you? Anyway, Ran needs help too – and probably the other two will as well. Louise will stay as long as she can, I know that. She misses her family and they'll be worrying about her, which is only natural. How long are we talking, Omi?"

"Hmmm, a month, probably. Maybe more. Depends on the others. Shall I ask you to stay that long at the most and then see if we can send you both home?"

"Sure," Ken agreed easily. "Whatever you need, Omi. We got off light – you guys had the hard time, them, most of all. I want to help however I can."

"You do, Ken. You're my right hand in every way." Omi stood too and took Ken's tray from him and stacked it on top of his own. "I better find the doctor and ask about Schu's condition. I'll see you back at the ward."

Ken wished he could do more for Omi, but other than be there and listening to him, he couldn't take his worries from him, and those worries were not small ones. More than ever, he wished Omi had someone of his own to care for him. But Ken was also aware that it might be a long time before Omi trusted anyone outside Weiss with his private thoughts. It was something at least that he felt he trusted Weiss enough to share a little with them.

Ran hated nags and he hated to harass professionals just doing their job – unless they were scientists researching paranormal abilities, in which case he regarded them as fair game. But in his condition, the only weapon he had to win the battle to see his lovers was his voice, and he used it shamelessly on any one who came in, pressing them for information about Yohji and Schuldig, asking to see them, insisting he could get up if they would let him. Omi told him to knock it off, but even if the request had come from Omi as his boss and not his friend, Ran couldn't obey it.

Ken, surprisingly, was an ally. When Ran had woken again later that first morning, he'd found Ken waiting patiently, reading a paperback, and not at all surprised that Ran's first request was about Schuldig. At least Ken had a little good news for him, but that only made Ran more agitated. Ken bore his raging and his fretting all that day and the next with a grace Ran would never have credited him with, and it was that, finally, which made Ran calm down. "I'm being a prick, aren't I?" he said self-deprecatingly after another round of arguing and pleading with the nurse who'd come in to check his blood pressure.

"No, Ran. You're being you."

"A prick."

"A good man worrying about his loved ones. If you think I'd be any different if it was Louise in a coma, think again."

Ran looked at him in surprise. "I thought you'd be on my case. Omi has been."

"Yeah, well, Omi hasn't loved someone and doesn't know what losing that person would mean. He thinks he does because he loves Schu and Yohji like brothers – but it's not the same."

"Thank you, Ken." Ran clenched his hands in his lap. He would cry again if he wasn't careful. "I will never desert them, Ken. Whatever is wrong, I won't leave them."

"I know. I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

Another nurse came in bearing trays of what was clearly food. Today, Ran had had a little cereal, and then later some soup, so his drip had been removed. His appetite was still nothing to get excited about but he hadn't thrown up, which was good. He'd been promised that he could get out of bed soon. "Here you go, guys, get it while it's steaming."

Ran let the man put the tray on the table in front of him, and enduring being helped to sit up more, a painful procedure which didn't deter him from asking, "When can I get up?"

"Well, let's see. You eat that, see how you feel afterwards, and maybe you can get out of bed for a short while after supper. I do mean short as in five minutes, Ran. You won't be racing Ken up and down the hall way. But here's something to cheer you up. Schu's definitely waking up and you can visit him tomorrow morning if you stop being a nuisance and he has a good night. All subject to the doc's approval, okay?"

"Really? Will he be okay?"

"Ran," Ken said gently.

Ran subsided. The staff had told him all they knew, and had made no promises that they couldn't back up. It was foolish to push for false assurances that he didn't want.

Still, waiting while Ken ate, and while he was urged to take food he really just didn't want, was hell. The nurse gave him a long-suffering look as he cleared the tray. "You don't want to go back on the drip, do you?"

"I drank the juice. I want to get up."

"Okay, but just remember you asked," the guy said with a wink at Ken.

It become apparently very quickly why the nurse was being so ironic. Even with the pain killers, even with nearly four days to begin to heal, shifting into the wheelchair was unrelenting agony. He would not scream. He would not.

Omi came in just as he was finally settled. "Ah, you wore them down, I see. Gary, Doctor Davis has said Schuldig can have a visitor. One visitor, for a couple of minutes. I wonder who we should send?"

"Omi!"

Omi gave Ran a tired smile. "Only teasing. I was just coming to see if you might be up to seeing him. Is he?" he asked the nurse.

"I think so. Ran, are you dizzy or feeling sick at all?"

"No," Ran answered through gritted teeth. He was in pain, and he felt a little light-headed, but he could endure much worse for a chance to see his lovers. "Please. Now."

"Right you are," Gary said cheerfully.

Ran closed his eyes and concentrated on not passing out. He knew Schuldig and Yohji were being kept in a special unit a little distance from the rooms where he and the others were staying – Ken had told him that they could treat up to forty people here, with an additional six beds in their ICU. Apparently they could treat the entire crew and passenger complement from a Chinook helicopter crash, which would normally be forty – that was how they had decided how big the unit had to be. Most of the time, they only had one or two patients – but a couple of times at least every year, they were asked to deal with the fall out of highly dangerous, highly discreet missions, where the safety and security of the patients was as important as their medical treatment, and where secrets spilled in delirium or under anaesthetic would not be poured into the fascinated ears of NHS staff.

It was a somewhat different arrangement from that Kritiker had had, which was to place their own medical personnel in otherwise ordinary private hospitals such as the Magic Bus. But then Kritiker was not really representing the Japanese government, whatever Shuuichi Takatori had believed.

The wheelchair stopped and Ran opened his eyes, his lips still clamped shut to stop any unseemly moaning at the pain the jolting of the ride had caused. They were outside a set of swing doors. "Well?"

Omi came around in front of him. "Ran – I just want you to be prepared for what you will see, and you must stay calm, okay? We've got the null field generator installed, but Schuldig is still probably aware at some level of what's going on around him and he will feel your distress if you get worked up. Do you understand? It's very important."

"I understand. Is Yohji in the same room?"

"Yes, he is. He also may be aware of you. If Schuldig were less unwell, you could visit Yohji for a longer period, but not right now. Do you understand that?"

Omi's eyes were earnest, and Ran could only guess what he'd been going through, seeing his team so damaged yet again. "I understand," he repeated. "I just want to see them. I'm prepared for the worst."

Omi searched his face carefully, and then nodded. "Okay. Gary?"

They pushed through the doors, and Ran found himself in an ultramodern, very clean and bright room. A nursing station was ahead of him. To his left, three empty beds. To his right....

Dr Davis came from Schuldig's bedside to greet them. "Just a minute or two, Ran," she said quietly. "But please speak to him, touch his hand. Let me take you over. Gentlemen, please wait outside and let him have his privacy."

Ran heard the swing doors open and close, but all his attention was on the two beds ahead of him. To the right, lay Yohji, looking as if he was restfully asleep. But to the left was Schuldig, and his condition could not ever be mistaken for sleep. He was on an oxygen feed, his head had been mostly shaved, revealing a long stitched wound and bruising above his forehead, and he had two gruesome black eyes set in a dead white face. Leads ran off him from apparently every part of his body. Only the hiss of the oxygen and the monitors showing heart and other functions betrayed the fact Schuldig was alive. "I know it looks bad, Ran, but he is starting to wake up. See?" She traced the blips on a monitor near Schuldig's head, which she explained showed his brain waves, measuring both normal and paranormal activity. "He's becoming responsive. We've already reduced the drugs which were dampening his brain activity and I would say he should be waking soon. Why don't you say hello? I'll leave you alone for a minute, okay?" She pushed his chair up to the bed and left him.

Ran found the words he wanted to say were backing up somewhere in his throat. This was all too.... "Schu," he whispered. He reached out painfully and put his palm over Schuldig's good hand, cool and pale on the hospital sheet. "Wake up. I need you."

Nothing, not even a blip on the screen the doctor had been so enthusiastic about. "Schuldig, come back to me. We need you."

Even though he knew Schuldig's telepathy was being kept under control, he still sent a mental message too with his words, and tried to imagine their link, just as he had done two days before. Schuldig had done that for him once, long before they had fallen in love, or even like. Ran wished he had that power, to draw someone back from the brink with the power of his mind.

He didn't know what to say. He hadn't known what to say to Aya those long years. Telling her about his new life, his job, had seemed wrong, somehow, and when the other person had been so long removed from every day life and had no reference point for any gossip he might pass on even if he had been inclined to gossip, a one-sided conversation had mostly been beyond him. He often wondered if he had had Ken or Omi's ability to talk to almost anyone at any time on any subject, whether his sister might have woken sooner than she had.

But his struggle to find something to say was short-circuited by the doctor, who returned exactly in a minute, just as she had said. "Okay, let's call it a night," she said kindly.

"Wait – can I speak to Yohji?"

"Of course. Just a minute for him too. You look as if you need to be back in bed."

She couldn't understand that mere bodily weakness was irrelevant. He squeezed Schuldig's hand and sent another silent message of love his way before she moved him to the other bed. "When will Yohji wake up?"

"We don't know, Ran. We don't know why he's unconscious. I'm running tests and doing what I can, but the best I can come up with is that he's just not ready to join us. He's actually doing well other than that."

The proof of her statement was right there. Yohji's colour looked completely normal, in contrast with Schuldig's pale, obviously ill face, and his hand was warm to Ran's touch. He had a light stubble, but no bruising, the only obvious signs of injury being the cast on his left arm. "Yohji? It's me. Why won't you come back?"

No reaction. "Try again, Ran. No one else has got anything from him, but I thought you might have a better chance since you're so close to him."

At her urging, he spoke Yohji's name again, but it was clear that he wasn't sensing it at any level they could register. "Is his hearing okay? It wasn't damaged by what he went through?" David, after all, had thrown Yohji really quite hard several times against the wall.

"He's not got any neurological damage at all, Ran. He was pretty bruised and battered in his body, but his head was protected, unlike yours and Schu's."

Ran looked up at her. "I don't understand this."

"Me neither. I'm sorry. I wish I had an answer for you." She took charge of his chair and wheeled him outside the unit where Omi was waiting on his own. "Tomorrow, you can each visit for short periods of time - I'm going to encourage that to help gently stimulate Schu. Maybe Yohji will start to respond too. But tonight, Ran, you are to take the pain killers and get a good night's sleep. You too, Omi. No one is to drop by until I send someone for you." She patted Ran's shoulder. "Did that help, seeing them?"

Ran wanted to lie and say it had, but habits of honesty made him shake his head – very carefully. "He looks so frail."

"Yes, I know. He's not, though. He's a strong, healthy, young man with a sound heart. He's got a way to go, but I've seen people go through worse and come out little worse for wear at the end of it. Faith, Ran. Faith and hope, I recommend it to all my patients."

Ran wanted to growl at the platitudes. He'd had a bellyful of them from the doctors caring for Aya and in the end, it hadn't been 'faith' or 'hope' - it had been whatever the damn Elders had done to her.

Omi smiled at her politely. "I'll make sure everyone knows what the arrangements are, Doctor. Ran, let me take you back to the ward."

As Omi wheeled him along, he said quietly, "Ran, you know this isn't at all like Aya-chan's situation, don't you?"

Ran clenched his fist and refused to answer. But when Omi got him back to his room, and helped him painfully into his bed, his young leader fixed him with a determined look. "Ran, Aya was diagnosed as being in a persistent vegetative state. No one really thought she would recover. That's not the case here. Do you understand that?"

Ran turned his head away. "You don't know that. Schu...." He bit his lip.

"Please, Ran... the doctor let you see them so you would know they're not dying."

Ran turned back to face him. "Schuldig...Yohji...." He clenched his fist again, so hard it was painful. "Omi, could you...?"

"Want some privacy?" Omi's eyes were kind. Ran nodded, unsure of his voice. "Okay. Do you want Ken to come back later? No? Okay. Try to rest, Ran. Also remember you are not alone in this. This isn't just your problem, your burden. You are part of a team and that team is with you."

Ran wanted to point out that half his team were in fact comatose, but he was in no mood and in no state to argue. He just wanted to be left alone.

Solitude was what he knew, what he understood. But when Omi left, he wondered if being on his own was really going to offer the solace it once had.

When he heard footsteps coming into the dayroom, Ken looked up from the new family photos Louise had downloaded from her email. "How did it go?"

"Total disaster. I really misjudged that one, Ken," Omi said wearily, taking a seat in one of the armchairs close to where they'd set up the laptop to check their mail and the news on the Internet. "I thought...Schuldig looks so much better than when they pulled him out, and Ran could see the monitors on his brain activity...."

"But he can only see his sister?"

"Yes." Omi sighed. "I overestimated how strong he was too, I think. I thought he wouldn't be so agitated...."

"Or such a pain in the ass...." Ken couldn't resist adding. He didn't really blame Ran for the way he'd been behaving, but it hadn't shown the redhead at his most attractive.

"That too, if he could just see them. But it's obvious he's still in a lot of pain, and I think he's not thinking that clearly because of the concussion."

"And Yohji's not there to steady him," Louise offered. "It must be awful for him, them both being hurt."

"Of course, but you two need to concentrate on yourselves as well," Omi said with an obvious effort at a pleasant smile. "How did the medical check up go, Louise?"

"Everything's fine, the baby's heart is great. They said we could know what sex it was, but...."

She looked at Ken. "We kinda thought it might be a nice surprise for everyone, cheer them up in a few months."

Now Omi's smile was genuine. "Yes, that's a great idea. It really will be something to look forward to. " He yawned. "I'm going to bed. Tomorrow Schuldig will need some gentle stimulation, conversation, that kind of thing. The doctor and I thought Ran would want to do that... but I don't think he's up to it. We'll need to cover that. Perhaps tomorrow afternoon. I'll spend the morning with them if the doctor allows it, and if you two want to take over at some point, that would be good. They might even move the two of them out of ICU, although I gather since things are so quiet, they're not too worried."

"That'll make it easier for Ran to see he's not dying," Ken said. "We'll see you in the morning, Omi."

Omi waved and left. Louise closed the laptop with a sigh. "Tired?" Ken asked.

"Not too much – more like stir crazy. I'd like to get some fresh air, go outside, but...well, I don't like to desert them. Ran must feel so alone right now."

"Then we'll have to prove he's not. Going outside won't be deserting them, Lou. We could maybe go for a little walk tomorrow – or maybe someone will drive us up to the village Omi mentioned."

She looked doubtful. "I don't know, Ken. Omi's worried about the media."

"Let me talk to him. Anyway, even if we can walk in the grounds for a while, that will be something. I wasn't designed to be a mole rat."

She smiled and kissed him on the forehead. "You don't look anything like a mole rat – you've got too much hair. Come on, I'm looking forward to a proper night's sleep in a real bed tonight."

Ken hoped the guest facilities were as comfortable as they looked, but Omi assured him that they were good enough for the British Prime minister, so they should be good enough for Mr and Mrs Palmer-Saki.

It was too early to wake up, Ran's body was telling him, but yet he was awake, pounding headache and all. He was also not alone. "Go away, Ken."

Ken laid his magazine aside. "Good morning to you, too, Ran. How are you feeling?"

Ran painfully pushed himself upright. "Go away."

"Your manners are charming as ever, I see. Do you want breakfast...?" Ken seemed to realise food was not high on Ran's agenda. "You really want me to go?"

Ran set his mouth into a grimace. "Yes. "

"All right." He unlocked the brakes on his wheels. "But I'll come back this afternoon."

Ran nearly told him not to, but he doubted Ken would listen. The problem with being a patient, he'd found, was that people seemed to think one was feeble minded and unable to know what one wanted. It was just one more thing that wore him out.

As soon as Ken left, he slumped down under the covers again, already exhausted from the slight effort of moving, and from a lousy night's sleep. He dozed only fitfully, his body aching too much to let him get comfortable. A rustle of paper made him turn sharply, and he stifled a yelp of pain. "Louise, I don't want company."

She smiled pleasantly. "I just thought I'd see if you wanted breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

She frowned. "You should eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"Okay. Are you sure you don't want me to sit with you for a while? I know how you must be feeling."

He nearly hated her then. How could she possibly know how he felt – she with her charmed life, her happy family, never having suffered a worse heart ache than a break up with her first boyfriend when she was fifteen. How could she who had never lost anyone – never killed for the sake of anyone either – have any concept of what he was going through? Just because Omi made her carry a gun, didn't make her like him. "Please just leave me alone," he said through gritted teeth.

In the face of his obduracy, she had little choice but to go, but he had little privacy after that. The nurses came in to change his sheets and to chide him for not eating. At least they helped him sit up out of the bed, even though they were trying to pester him to take the pain killers which were only marginally effective and not worth the nausea they caused. Finally the ever cheerful Dr Davis came in. "How are you doing this morning, Ran?"

"I'm fine," he said tightly.

"Uh huh," she said absently, checking his charts. "Didn't sleep well? Are you in pain now?"

"No," he muttered, and she could take it as answer for whichever question she wanted.

"You should take the ibuprofen, Ran. It's not just pain relief, it will help the cause of the pain too." When he didn't answer, she put the chart down. "Schu and Yohji are doing well. Thought you'd like to know that."

He refused to meet her look, not believing a word of it. He'd seen them with his own eyes. He'd been lied to before by doctors. He knew that sometimes they thought it was kind. He'd rather they just came out and told him the truth. Tell him sorry, Mr Schumacher won't be waking up soon, and no, we were wrong about Mr Kurosawa, he really does have severe brain damage after all, it just didn't show up on our scans. He knew perfectly well people didn't go into comas when things were going to be all right. He wasn't as stupid as people thought he was – or as they were treating him.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Talk about what?" he asked rudely, pulling his bathrobe around him more tightly and glaring at her, wishing she would just leave.

"About that attitude, for a start. You should eat something, Ran. Should I order you some breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Fine," she said equably. "If you change your mind, you can call a nurse." She folded her arms and looked at him. "You know, you'd get a lot better a lot faster if you stopped pushing yourself so hard and let people help you."

"I've been injured before."

"Yes, I know, and I know this is not an easy situation. You're fortunate to have so many kind friends, you know."

He stared at her, but didn't answer. Eventually she got bored and sighed. "Well, if you need anything, you know where we are."

No one else bothered him, other than the nurses asking if he wanted lunch, which he did not. He didn't want visitors. He was sick of people trying to build up his hopes. He'd been foolish lately, he knew. He'd thought that after the last few months, things were finally looking up. He'd even stopped waiting for the other boot to drop in his relationship with Yohji and Schuldig. All that recent events had proved was that a killer like him didn't deserve good fortune, and the gods took note when he forgot that.

By evening, he was still not hungry, but he was aware that his healing body needed the fuel, so he reluctantly forced down as much of the unappetising British style food as he could, which was still only half of the supper he'd been served. An hour after the tray had been removed, the nurse, Gary, came in with a wheelchair. "Okay, Ran, time for a little excursion."

It was nearly time for lights out, so he was confused, and not a little irritated by this. "I don't want to go anywhere. Leave me alone."

"Nope, sorry, mate, doctor's orders. Refusing necessary treatment is a disciplinary offence, didn't you know?"

Ran growled. "I'm not in the military."

"Oh? Well, Omi said that if you refused to co-operate, he'd make your life a living hell. How's that?"

The man just wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, so with exceedingly ill grace, Ran got into the wheelchair. "Where are we going?"

"Not far. It won't take long, and you'll feel a lot better when we're done."

It was probably some tiresome therapy, Ran thought, although why the hell it had to be so late in the evening, he had no idea. Maybe acupuncture – one of the nurses seemed keen on the idea, although he'd seen no signs that any of the doctors took it seriously. He was healing, slowly for sure, but still he was improving slightly. Why couldn't they leave him alone?

To his surprise, he found himself in front of the ICU again. "What are we doing here?"

"You'll see."

The doors swung open, and he immediately saw Omi, Ken and Louise sitting near Yohji and Schuldig's bed. Had something happened...? But no one looked very worried, so it couldn't be that. "What's going on?" he demanded angrily. "Why did you lie to me?" he asked Gary. "This isn't treatment."

"No? My mistake. But since you're here...."

"Ran, shut up and come over here," Omi said, his voice clearly indicating he was in a take-no-shit-from-anyone mood.

He had little choice since his chair was pushed without any command from him over to Schuldig's bedside. "Why...?" But then he saw it. Schuldig's hand – it twitched. Immediately, his own reached for it. "Schu?"

He examined Schuldig's face anxiously, and almost gasped when he saw two thin slits of blue peek out from behind bruised eyelids. "Schu? Can you hear me?"

"R...Ra'...?"

The sound was barely louder than a breath, but it was clear for all that. "Schu, yes, it's me!" Ran looked up into the grinning faces of the nurse and his friends. "He's awake!"

"Yes, he is, you idiot – you didn't believe us, did you?" Ken said, beaming.

"Schu, are you okay?" Slight twitch of Schuldig's fingers under his own but his lover didn't answer. "What's wrong with him?"

Gary's hand came down firmly but kindly on his shoulder. "He just came out of a coma, Ran, so he's still a bit dozy – isn't that right, Doctor?"

Dr Davis had just joined them. "Yes, it is. I can't let you all stay much longer because I don't want Schu worn out – in fact, if everyone but Ran would like to wait outside, I'll explain things to him."

Ran was soon left alone with the nurse and the doctor, who checked all the monitors before she spoke again. As he waited, he kept hold of Schuldig's hand, and every time he felt the minute tightening of Schuldig's fingers, his heart soared. Schuldig was awake – his eyes were actually open, his mouth was moving. In two years, Aya had never done so much. He looked over at the other bed, guilty that in his excitement, he had momentarily forgotten Yohji. Somehow, he'd expected that Schuldig's recovery would herald Yohji's - but there was no obvious change. "What about Yohji?" he asked, indicating the other bed.

"No change, I'm afraid. I think he'll wake up when he's ready and not before. There's nothing we can do to force that, Ran. But he's not in danger, and his condition is completely stable – his heart is strong, breathing is good, and his brain activity means that he's not deteriorating. And this young man," she said, nodding down at Schuldig, "is improving by the hour."

Another twitch of Schuldig's fingers – was he amused at the 'young man'? "When did he wake up?"

"He's been slowly becoming responsive over the last few days, even though I know you couldn't tell. Your friends have been here all day, talking to him," she said, implying she was disappointed that he had not been with them. "When he actually spoke, Omi thought you should come and see for yourself."

"I...." Another tightening of Schuldig's grip. "I'm sorry, Schu," he whispered, knowing he'd been cowardly. "I... Sumimasen."

Schuldig's mouth moved, but no sound came out. "Why can't he talk?" Ran asked, panic starting to rise unbidden.

"Excuse us a minute, Schu," the doctor said firmly, before wheeling Ran's chair right down the other end of the ward, and perching her backside on the desk and looking down at him kindly. "Ran, stay calm, will you? His speech centres are fine, but he's still waking up. We know he's got some damage – his muscle control may be affected and there's undoubtedly going to be some hemiparesis – that's weakness on his left side. That's only to be expected...."

"He's crippled?"

"We don't use words like that in here, Ran," she said with a severe glint in her eyes.

"No, of course not. I'm sorry – I'm just confused by all this."

"I'm sure, and I don't mean to seem harsh, but a positive attitude is important. He's likely to have a long period of recovery, and he'll need your full support, and that of his other friends. I want to move him into the normal ward in the next couple of days, as soon as we begin his therapy, but I want to move Yohji as well, because he needs to have people around him, stimulating him. I was thinking of putting the three of you in the same room, but you'll have to be a bit more co-operative than what I saw today. And definitely no more comments about 'cripples' either. Can I count on you for that?"

"Yes, yes, of course you can. But I don't need to be in a ward any more."

"Yes, you do, and even if you didn't, you guys are all staying here until they sort out what to do with you. If the situation changes, then we'll revise the plans but my orders are to keep you three in the medical facility for the moment. Anyway, you're having enough trouble sitting – don't tell me you want to try and organise your own meals."

That was true enough. "Can I go back with them again for a while?"

She smiled in approval. "Of course you can. Not for too long, because he's tired and you're not well either, but you'll do each other good."

She wheeled him back to the beds, between Schuldig's and Yohji's. Ran moved his chair for a moment so he could touch Yohji's face and say his name, but once again there was no response. It seemed the doctor was right – Yohji would come back when he was ready and not before.

Ran resumed holding Schuldig's hand. Schuldig's grip tightened almost at once, and perhaps it was only Ran's imagination but it seemed stronger this time. He bent and kissed the hand he held. "Thank you for coming back to me," he said in a quiet voice, intended only for Schuldig's ears. The doctor, at least, pretended she hadn't heard as she looked at Yohji's charts.

It made all the difference now Schuldig's eyes were open, and Ran knew he was being heard, even if Schuldig was having trouble speaking. Ran told him what he knew about the end of the mission, and what had happened to everyone, that Schuldig had had his implant removed and that the null field generator sitting to one side of him was keeping his telepathy under control. He faltered as he explained about Yohji. "We don't know what's wrong, Schu. I'm very worried."

"M...m'...too."

Ran kissed Schuldig's hand again. "You just worry about yourself. We're all going to be sharing a room soon, she says."

A slight frown creased the right side of Schuldig's face. "Y...you...hu'?"

"A little. Bruising. Banged head. They're fussing for no reason and Omi's encouraging them. He's mother henning for Yohji, and when he's not, Ken is." Ran reached over and stroked Schuldig's cheek. "I won't stay long tonight. But I will be back in the morning. You need sleep. I'm so happy you're awake, Schu."

"Lon'ly?"

"A little. Scared. It was like...well, you know what it was like. But you woke up...."

Ran found his voice was gone, his throat closed by emotion. With difficulty he stood up, and holding onto the bed, he leaned over and kissed Schuldig on the lips, not caring if the doctor saw. He rested his cheek briefly against Schuldig's and then he sat down, the slight effort more than he could handle, as he cursed his treacherous body for letting a little bruising debilitate it so.

The doctor must have been watching, because she came over. "I think it's time to call it a night. Schu, Ran will come back in the morning."

After letting him say the briefest of goodbyes to Yohji, she wheeled him out, back out to where the others were waiting. "Straight back to bed, Ran," she said firmly. "I'll see you all tomorrow."

Ran didn't know what to say to the others. He now felt very stupid indeed for his behaviour that day, and self-indulgent to boot.

"Ran?"

He looked up, blinking a foolish dampness from his eyes. "Yes?"

"It's going to be okay for both of them," Ken said. "We were right about Schu, Yohji will wake up too, you wait and see."

"Yes. Thank you." He stared at his hands, not trusting his voice or his expression to not betray his overwhelming feelings – of which, slightly to his horror, hope, that dangerous and treacherous emotion, was the greatest and most exuberant of all.

Schuldig waking up had changed everything overnight, Ken thought. Ran was a man on a mission once more, and that had sent a ripple of excitement through the rest of them, as they watched anxiously to see how he would cope with things. The news continued to be good, fortunately. Schuldig seemed to be improving minute on minute, which was good because he and Yohji were kicked out of ICU around noon the following day – there had been an anti-terrorism operation in London and two agents were being brought in with head injuries, so they wanted to free up the staff.

Ran insisted on supervising Schuldig's care personally, so the rest of the team could do little but keep watch over Yohji during the day while Ran looked to Schuldig's needs, fetching things, helping him eat, or starting on his therapy. Ran wouldn't allow anyone to help him of course, something that made Omi grit his teeth and curse his older friend when he was talking to Ken and Louise on their own.

It was rare for Ran to leave the room for any period at all, Ken found. The only time he ever directly asked for assistance was when he had a shower - he then would request whoever was with Yohji to keep an eye on Schuldig. For the first couple of days, Schuldig spent most of his time sleeping, but when he was awake, he was definitely more alert. He didn’t say much, Ken noticed, at least while anyone other than Ran was in the room. Dr Davis had told them several times his speech centres weren't in fact affected but the paralysis might be making it hard for him to form the words. Ken thought Schuldig was probably self-conscious about displaying weakness. It was a vanity Schuldig would have to get over, he thought with some irony, although not without sympathy.

The doctor checked Ran's condition whenever she came in to see Schuldig and finally suggested, three days after he'd been moved into Ran's room, that Ran should use the facility's swimming pool to build up his strength rather than trying and move a heavy adult man without assistance. "Strangely, people usually come into hospital to get well, not to reinjure themselves," she said dryly.

Omi hid a grin at this. Ken silently cheered at someone finally pointing out that Ran was being a dick in a way that might actually get through his stubborn head. As was absolutely typical of the damn man, he'd been pushing himself past all advice and wearing himself out. The nurses weren't surprised, they told Ken. They had a lot of patients like that, all overachievers and impatient with bodily weakness. It was useless to argue with them, Gary had told Ken. "Better just to tranq them," he'd added cheerfully. Ken had no problem with that idea.

"Someone needs to look after him," Ran said, his hand protectively on Schuldig's

"Someone will. That's the other thing that hospitals are good for."

"Ran, I can sit with Schu," Ken said, careful not to appear too enthusiastic, "and Omi can go swimming with you."

"I can go on my own."

"No, you can't," the doctor said sharply. "If Omi can't go, you'll have someone else who can get you in and out. I'm not letting a patient go swimming unsupervised." But then she smiled. "Ran, it will be good for you physically and psychologically. A half hour swim will be a good break for you."

"And me," Omi said. "Come on, Ran. I can organise this easily."

Surprisingly, Schuldig spoke up. He'd been listening in silence as he usually did, but now he said, "Go on, Ran. Goo' fo' you."

Ran looked down at him in puzzlement. "You don't mind?"

Schuldig rolled his eyes – nothing wrong with those reactions, Ken noticed. "No. Ken wi' si'."

"Okay." Ran looked at Ken. "I won't be long."

"You can take as much time as you want, Ran. I'm not going anywhere."

Omi stood and got the wheelchair that Ran still needed for longer journeys than just to the bathroom. "Come on, we know we can borrow swimming costumes because Gary's already offered. Ken, stay with Schu until we get back. Louise will be down soon, she said."

Ken waved them out. "Well, that was easier than I thought it was going to be," he said almost to himself, but he wheeled himself up to Schuldig's bed. "How are you doing? Do you need anything?"

"No. Ran fu's too mu'."

"Fusses too much? You just worked that out?" he said with a grin, and won a small, lopsided smile back from Schuldig. Ken examined him thoughtfully. "So... how are you doing with the rest of it...you know...?" He looked at Schuldig's injured hand – the side of his body affected by the brain damage. "You know it'll get a lot better, right?"

No response to that, and Schuldig lost his smile, his eyes taking on a hard expression. Ken sighed. He'd not really wanted to broach the subject with Schu, but he was the only other member of the team who had any experience of permanent disability – Omi had some idea what it was like to be handicapped, but since he'd recovered his sight, he hardly ever mentioned it. Like he hardly ever mentioned a lot of things from the past, Ken knew, but that was another issue altogether. Ken felt that the sooner he offered a hand to Schuldig, the more the German might accept the assistance through what looked like being a long recovery. At least he was going to still be able to walk at the end of it, Ken thought sourly. "I've been talking to the nurses here, doing some research on the internet. You could gain full function back, you know, if you get the right help. Omi will make sure you do."

"Jea'ous?"

Ken glared. "Of you? You think I want anyone else in a wheelchair, Schuldig? How much do you think I'd have to hate you to want that?"

Schuldig raised his good hand a little. "So'y. Ge' a bi'...jus'... Ran fee's gui'y."

"Yeah, he should be called 'Schuldig', not you. I wish Yohji would wake up."

"Wis' I...." Schuldig tightened his mouth, and touched his forehead. "St'u'id b'ain."

"You think you could help him?" Schuldig nodded. Ken glanced at the null field generator by his bed. "Not a good idea, Schu. Not even for Yohji, and you know how much I want him to wake up."

"Fi' min's."

"No. Ran would gut me, and Omi would use my hide to make a bag for his laptop. I'm sorry, Schuldig. You should just concentrate on getting well before you try and help Yohji. He's got people here who can do that." Schuldig pointed at his head again. "I know. None of us are telepaths. I'm still not turning that thing off. Listen – I just wanted you to know that I've been down the therapy route myself. Not the same thing as you, but if you want to... you know, talk or anything...."

"Jus' he'p Ran."

"Yes, I will. We all will. And Yohji too." He sighed. It was hard enough to do the bonding thing with Schuldig under normal circumstances. "Ran tell you about what happened after the mission ended?"

"A bi'."

"You want to know more?"

For the first time, there was real interest in Schuldig's eyes, and so Ken spent the rest of the hour until Ran returned, tired but much more refreshed, telling Schuldig all that he knew. Outside the quiet, uniform environment of the medical facility, the world was moving on, the repercussions of the mission and its outcome still being assessed outside their safe, sealed environment. Now two of his three injured team mates were no longer causing concern, Omi was spending time away from the medical facility, locked in discussions with MI6 and other defence personnel. The press were going insane, he'd reported, which Ken already knew from his internet surfing. Worldwide, Estet's operations were being exposed and blown open almost on an hourly basis. So far, Omi had said somewhat ironically, the secret of paranormals seemed to be the only thing that had not come to light. That was being carefully managed by a number of security organisations, anxious to have their people placed and promoted advantageously once the news broke.

Actually, there were many secrets not coming out, and so far as Ken was concerned, the biggest was the identity of the 'heroes' the press were touting, the ones who had destroyed the evil laboratories where children's minds were being destroyed (as the British press screamed daily in lurid headlines and even more lurid reports). He knew that their identities were completely safe – but he felt resentful that the contribution of Ran and the others to the destruction of much of Estet's infrastructure would be quickly forgotten, even by those who knew of it, even though he also knew they had resigned themselves long ago to living their lives in the shadows, unrecognised and largely unrewarded.

So he was somewhat surprised that afternoon when Omi called Louise and him to come to Ran and Schuldig's room as they had a visitor – several, in fact. Omi actually looked flustered, something he rarely did – and never over anything critical. So itcouldn't be that anyone was in trouble or in danger, Ken thought as he and his wife walked down the corridor. He was a little taken aback to see gun-toting SAS officers at the door, who gave them both a grilling and a metal detection check before allowing them into the ward where two extremely well-dressed men and one woman were waiting. Omi took them over to meet the visitors. "Mr Walker, would you like to make the introductions?"

"Yes, thank, Mr Homura. Mr and Mrs Saki, Mr Midoru, Mr Schumacher, I'd like you to meet the head of MI6, Mrs Elizabeth Hargreaves, and the junior Defence minister, Mr Robert Smith."

Ken gaped. "M? You really are a woman?"

Louise jabbed him, and Omi went red, but Mrs Hargreaves only smiled and held out her hand. "I'm only 'M' in the films, Mr Saki. I've come to offer you the gratitude and congratulations of Her Majesty and her government for your fine work."

Ken shook the woman's hand, dazed. Louise also shook her hand. "We're not the ones...." She nodded over at where Ran was sitting in the chair next to Schuldig's bed. "They did the dangerous job."

"That may be so, but I understand it was a joint effort. No, please don't try to stand, Mr Midoru, I know you're injured."

But of course Ran had to, being Ran, and held out his hand which she shook politely, with a warm smile, before turning to her companion to introduce Ran to him. "Minister, Mr Ran Midoru. Mr Midoru led the team that infiltrated the Surrey Institute and initiated the destruction of their facility."

Mr Smith also shook Ran's hand. "A wonderful job, Mr Midoru. And this is Mr Schumacher, yes?"

By holding onto the bed, Ran managed to remain standing. "Yes. If you would take his right hand, sir?"

The man obliged, and Schu gave him a wonky smile, but didn't try to speak. "I'm afraid...Mr Kurosawa has not yet ...recovered," Ran said stiffly. "Excuse me, I have to sit." Ken saw Omi frowning at Ran for his stubbornness.

"I can hope that he does so soon," Mrs Hargreaves said kindly. "I want you to know that the British government will offer you a safe haven here as long as you need it for your treatment, and a secure, discreet passage back to Australia when you're ready to leave."

Mr Smith cleared his throat. "I wish we could offer you something more, but the Australian government rather frowns on foreign honours being bestowed on its people. However, I've written to the head of ASIO and to my counterpart in your federal government expressing our deepest appreciation. If you were British, I could guarantee you all an appearance in the Queen's Birthday honours, but as it is...." He smiled. "I imagine you would all just prefer to be home, safe and sound."

"We're grateful for the thought, sir," Omi said politely.

There was a moment or two of awkward silence. Ran, Ken could tell, just wanted everyone gone. Mr Walker seemed uncomfortable too. Omi's thoughts were less easy to guess. It was left to Mrs Hargreaves to end it all gracefully. "Minister, I can see the patients need their rest, and we've kept them long enough, I think," she said. "Gentlemen, Mrs Saki, it's been a pleasure to have met you all, and once again, thank you all for your brave efforts. Jeffrey, you wanted a word with them?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes, thank you, Mrs Hargreaves, Minister – if you could give me twenty minutes, I'll meet you at the helipad."

Everyone waited until the VIPs left, and then Ken looked at Louise, tempted to ask her to pinch him in case he was dreaming. "Holy fuck."

"God, Ken, language," she said, blushing as she looked at Jeffrey Walker.

"It's all right, Mrs Saki, at least on my behalf. My staff use worse language than that, I can tell you. I hope you don't mind this being sprung on you all, especially with Kurosawa still unwell...."

"I'll tell him about it," Ran said abruptly. "We weren't expecting...."

"No, I'm sure you weren't. But I felt something had to be done, and since they can't make a fuss officially, this was the next best thing. If you think Betty Hargreaves comes to visit every sick MI6 agent, you're much mistaken." He coughed. "How is Mr Schumacher?"

"Ask him yourself. Schu? Omi, you can help him sit up."

Louise and Omi got Schuldig into a sitting position and Walker came to his side. "You look better than when we got you out from under the rubble, that's for sure," he said, clearly uncomfortable with having to make light chat.

"I...feel... okay. Good... care," Schuldig said slowly, and somewhat indistinctly.

"I should hope so. Is there anything any of you need? Homura, we can move you all to more comfortable surroundings... except, Kurosawa will need to stay here, I suppose...."

"We're staying together until we can all leave," Omi said firmly.

"Yeah, what he said," Ken agreed. Louise nodded and so did Ran.

Walker actually smiled. "Thought you might say that. Midoru – I wanted to thank you."

Ran blinked. "Me? Why me?"

"You solved Alex's murder – and Nigel's. It means a lot to me, my people, knowing she didn't kill herself as they made out, and that you shut the organisation down."

Ran regarded him coolly. "I didn't do it on my own, Mr Walker."

"No, I know you didn't. I'm grateful to you all. And... well, I wish we'd been more help than we were."

"I think in the end, a smaller group had more success than a frontal attack would have, just as we suspected," Omi said. "It was a joint decision, Mr Walker. I believe there were errors on my part but I have no criticism of your role."

"Homura, don't be so hard on yourself or so arrogant to expect perfection," Walker said gruffly. "You're ridiculously young for the job you have - you all are, at least to an old fogey like me. The success rate of your team is something I envy – and you haven't lost anyone, not like I have. Don’t underestimate that."

Omi glanced in Yohji's direction, and Ken could guess his thoughts. "No, I don't. Anyway, I'm sure you need to get back to your office, so let me walk you up to the helipad."

Ran seemed to collapse a little as Omi and Walker left the room – Ken thought he'd probably been holding himself tense for too long and was now paying for it.

"Fas'na'ing," Schuldig slurred.

"Doing Vulcan imitations now, Schu?" Ken said with a grin. "You guys okay? You think they'd give us a bit of warning, it's not like you three are up to curtseying."

"You weren't exactly in diplomatic mode either," Louise said, making a face at him. "Honestly, Ken, I can't take you anywhere." Which only made Schuldig laugh a little, and Ran smiled briefly, before he looked at Yohji, and he lost the smile, as he always did. "But it'll be something to tell our kids about, for sure. If we're allowed to."

"You two shouldn't have to stay here just because we are," Ran said, frowning. "Louise, you must want to return home to be with your family."

"I am with my family," she said. "You heard Omi. All of us or none of us. They've got room, Ran, and everything we need right now. We're okay."

"But... there's no light, no fresh air... you're living underground."

"It's not so bad, really, and we've found a secret garden, haven't we, Ken?"

"Yeah. Ran, you'd love it. It's an indoor green house two floors up - a conservatory, they call it. It's got daylight simulation, plants, a little fountain – the staff use it when they can't get above ground for days or weeks. It's not huge, but it's better than white walls. I'll take you there if you like."

Ran looked at Schuldig. "Maybe we can all go soon." Schuldig gave him another crooked smile.

"Sure," Ken agreed. "In a day or two, Schuldig will be up to that, and maybe Yohji will wake up by then. Man, I am going to tease him about sleeping for a week. I'll be waking him up at five for a year to make up for it."

No one smiled much at that. Ken couldn't really blame them. It would all be different when Yohji did wake up. Ken just wished he'd hurry up before Ran guilt-tripped himself to death.

The surprising visit from the bigwigs gave Ken and Louise something to talk about but otherwise didn't make any difference to their routine. Despite Omi's insistence on their staying together, it was going to become unfeasible for them to stay in the facility for very much longer. The medical unit could be required to dedicate all its staff to dealing with an emergency at any time, and while it was excellent at trauma care, it was still only a small facility. Schuldig needed rehabilitation and a specialist centre to carry it out. Once his physical injuries had healed, if he was to have any hope of recovering most of his lost functions, he needed to receive that intensive support. The problem was, he needed to get it soon for the best results – but no one had any idea when Yohji would wake up.

Omi was reluctant to allow Yohji to be moved while he was still unconscious, but the fact remained that he wasn't in need of specialist nursing, and he could receive all he did need in Australia. In a week or so, he would be the only reason for them all not to return home. The doctors had suggested he could remain behind until he woke up, but Omi and everyone else had vehemently refused to consider it. It hadn't been raised again.

Schuldig had been awake just over a week and seemed to have stabilised, his rapid physical improvement slowing to a steady state. Ken and Louise were dividing their time between Ran and Schuldig, Omi and themselves. Somehow, the days were filled, but Ken itched for his normal life, and to see his junior soccer team again. He would kill for some real daylight too. Louise was finding it harder and harder too, but seemed prepared to stick it as long as she had to. Ken was going to hold Omi to that month – after that, he really needed to get his family home.

This night, he'd just left Louise up in the greenhouse, planning to drop in to see Ran and the others, and then find Omi, who had been somewhat reclusive all day. The day room was on Ken's route to the ward, and he was surprised to catch sight of the distinctive red of Ran's hair as he wheeled past the doorway, so he stopped and turned in to check. Yes, Ran was there, huddled oddly into a chair in the corner, his arms tightly folded, and his eyes closed. What was going on?

"Ran, are you okay?" Ran turned and stared at Ken with wide, startled eyes. "Has something happened?" Ran just continued to stare. Had something happened to Schuldig or Yohji? "Do you want Omi? Should I get...?"

"He's awake," Ran whispered.

It took Ken a second or two to work out which 'he' Ran had to be referring to. "Yohji? Really? That's great! So why are you...?" Ran closed his eyes, and began to shake, his fingers digging in his upper arms. "Ran?"

"He...he doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember us." Ran opened his eyes again, eyes that were now confused and grief-filled. "He doesn't know who I am, Ken." He wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his arm. "Everything's gone. There's nothing left at all."

Chapter Text

Ran was tired, but he couldn't admit it. Not with Schuldig struggling even just to speak, the frustration and the pain in his eyes so clear it was if he was sending his feelings direct to Ran's brain. Not with Omi watching them all, guilt written all over his still young, perpetually worried and weary face.

They didn't need him to add to their concerns. All he could do was what he always did, which was to push through the fatigue, and to hide his physical pain as he did his emotional turmoil. As soon as he could, he had started dressing in street clothes, having developed an intense loathing of pyjamas and hospital gowns when he had been treated for leukaemia, spending months in hospital. Appearing more normal also reinforced the image that he was dealing with things effectively, and it meant medical staff stopped seeing him as a patient, and stopped talking to him as if he was slightly mentally defective. He wasn't fooling Schuldig, but then he could never fool Schuldig or Yohji. Yohji would tell him to let the others help him, to lean on them a little. But he wasn't able to tell him that and it was Ran's fault that he wasn't.

But still, Ran was tired, his healing body stealing energy he needed for his lovers. He needed both energy and patience to spend long days urging Schuldig to persist with the therapy and to keep talking even though he hated the sound of his mangled words. It was the need to always be positive, to not snap at Louise or Ken or Omi as they tried to help, to deal politely with the medical staff but still get things done the way he wanted them for Schuldig and Yohji, which wore him down. Even talking to Yohji, trying to convince him to end the puzzling sleep that none of the doctors could explain, not even with all the tests and equipment at their disposal, took an effort that he found astonishingly difficult to make at times. Even though the days were long and seemingly filled with nothing but waiting, he still found that by the end of each day, he was limp with exhaustion. He badly wanted to curl up in a bed next to both the men he loved, and sleep without worry or fear.

If he was tired, of course Schuldig was more so, and it was never long after the evening meal before he fell asleep. It was then Ran was most tempted to just give up and crawl into bed beside him, the sensitivities of the medical staff be damned. He never did, of course, not least because Ken usually dropped in for a few minutes, to say good night, to tell Ran the latest news from the BBC website, and what Omi's plans were for the following day. It was usually the last time Ran saw the rest of his team for the evening, after they had spent much of the day popping in and out to chat to Ran or Schuldig, or to talk to Yohji, trying to stimulate him into waking.

He was grateful for their concern and their care, he really was, but it added to his fatigue, and distracted him. Only when the three of them were left alone in their room, could Ran finally give Yohji his full attention, speaking quietly to him and holding his hand, instead of just being background noise to Ken and Louise's conversation. He didn't talk about the hospital, or Schuldig's treatment, or about the mission, or his own recovery. Instead, he spoke to Yohji about the future. About the vacation Schuldig still wanted to go on. About how he thought, maybe, one day he might leave ASIO's employment and set up in business again, growing something, or making it. "A nursery, Yohji. I thought I could start a plant nursery," he would tell him. "Or maybe I could start a stone fruit orchard, on the Granite Belt – we could have cherry trees again. The birds would eat some of the fruit, but you'd like the birds, so it wouldn’t matter."

There was never any response, of course, but Ran got a little comfort from the warmth of Yohji's hand in his, and the even, regular sound of his breathing. At least he looked well – he looked astonishingly normal, in fact. It was because of this that Ran almost missed it when it happened. He had been murmuring some drivel or other, so tired tonight that he wasn't making a lot of sense to himself let alone anyone else, and thinking he really couldn't sit up much longer. He was just about to get up to kiss Yohji good night as he usually did, when a movement caught his attention. At first he wasn't sure what the movement was – only that Yohji had moved. "Yohji?"

And there it was again – Yohji's hand twitched in his. "Yohji, wake up."

Yohji's eyelids fluttered and Ran stopped breathing for a moment, mesmerised by the sight of them and what it might mean. As he watched, willing Yohji to keep going, to come all the way out of his sleep, Yohji's eyes slowly opened, their deep green almost surprising in its vividness. His head rolled on the pillow as he looked around in confusion. "You're back," Ran whispered, unable to quite believe it was happening.

Yohji looked at him, and then at his hand, still held in Ran's. "Hello," he said huskily. He'd spoken in Japanese, but Ran had expected that. Omi had told him that Schuldig's first words had been in German.

"Do you want some water?" Ran asked eagerly, reaching for the water jug, kept fresh and ready for the day when the occupant of the bed would need it.

"Sure. Who are you?"

Ran's hand froze in mid-reach. "Wh...what?"

"What's your name?"

He stared at his lover in horror – this couldn't be happening, not again. Yohji's forehead was creased a little in concentration. "Don't...don't you know me?"

"No, I'm sorry. I...I don't know...." Now Yohji's eyes widened in alarm. "Who...who am I...or you...I don't know... where am I? Who are you?"

Ran clenched his hand back in his lap, to conceal the fact it had started to shake. "I...I...excuse me. Just wait...."

He reached for the call button before dashing out to the nursing station and telling the staff to get the doctor. He waited until she was fetched, then followed the medical staff back into the ward, standing out of the way, fist pressed against his mouth, as he watched the flurry of activity around Yohji's bed, heard him answer questions which confirmed Ran's worst fears, and murdered all his hopes.

Finally he could stand it no more. He stumbled out of the ward, unnoticed by the staff still intently questioning Yohji, needing to get away, anywhere.... The day room should be empty. He crawled into a chair in the corner of the room, hugging himself as if he might fly apart if he did not hold himself physically together. His mind just seemed to blank out – later, he could remember nothing from when he sat down to when Ken's voice shocked him out of his daze and bringing him back harshly to cruel reality.

Ken didn't know of course, and when Ran told him, naturally he was pleased that Yohji had finally come back. Only he hadn't, and Ran had to explain it to Ken, even as his body began to react to the delayed shock. He found he couldn't keep his voice from breaking as he told Ken. "He...he doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember us. Everything's gone. There's nothing left at all."

And then in Ken's eyes were all the emotions Ran couldn't handle. Shock. Pity. Confusion. Even disbelief. "Are you sure?"

"They...." He was shaking so hard now, his voice just wouldn't work. Ken put a concerned hand on his arm, and that simple gesture threatened to crack Ran's control. "H...." He covered his mouth, clamping down the tears, unable to hold in his emotions any other way,

"Ran, I'm sorry," Ken said gently. For a horrifying moment, Ran thought Ken would hug him, and he knew if he did, he would lose it, but he had no power to tell him to go away, to let him fight this on his own. Mercifully Ken didn't touch him again. "It must be too early to tell if it's permanent. Don't lose hope."

Ran stared at him in confusion. Didn't Ken understand? Didn't he know what this was?'

"Oh, you're here, good." Omi strode quickly over to them. "Gods, Ran, I'm sorry no one was there to help you."

Ran wanted to tell him to go away, but he didn't dare uncover his mouth to speak. It was all that stood between him and utter humiliation. Omi seemed to realise that, perhaps his empathy was working now he was some distance from Schuldig's room. "Ken, Yohji's fine physically, there's no brain damage and the amnesia might just be temporary. They're going to move him to another room for now to reduce the stress on everyone, including him. You better tell Louise, but there's no need to worry her, and I'd like us all to meet in the morning in here before anyone goes to visit Yohji. The doctor will speak to us then." He dragged one of the old armchairs closer to Ran's chair. "Why don't you let me have a word with Ran?" he said.

Ken took the hint. "Sure. Ran – you know we're all here behind you, right? You're not alone, just remember that."

Ran wanted to scream, but only nodded jerkily. He had the childish urge to find a dark closet to hide in, or to be able to find a blanket to curl up under. He wanted the world to go away – he couldn't deal with it any more.

Omi waited until Ken left the room, then he walked over and closed the doors to the room before coming back, drawing up his chair to Ran's, and sitting down. For a few moments, he said nothing, apparently assessing just how big a mess his mission leader was in. "You think it was something Blyth-Jones did?" he finally asked.

Ran jerked. How had Omi known that was just what he was thinking?

Omi took hold of Ran's wrists and pulled his hands gently away from his face. "If you're going to cry, there's only you and me here, Ran. You're not the only one who feels like doing that right now."

As if by command, a tear began to trickle down Ran's cheek, despite every effort to hold it back. Omi was still holding his wrists so he couldn't even brush it away. "She... said... benefits of what she did."

Omi pulled a packet of tissues out of his back pocket, and extracted one before handing it to Ran. "You don't need to tell me how you feel. I know how you feel. But I need to know what she said. Just take your time, Ran."

Ran scrubbed his face angrily and scrunched the little tissue up in his fist. "She said...." He shuddered as he remembered. "Said she had been going to let Yohji have the benefits of her work ... but then she changed her mind and was going to kill him."

"She definitely said 'benefits of her work?" Ran nodded. "That's not good, I agree." He sighed and wiped his face with his hand. "It's too soon to make any decisions, or to know what it means. I realise this must seem like the final blow, Ran, and I don't blame you at all for being upset." Silently, he pulled out another tissue and gave it to Ran, holding out his hand for the used one. "Ken's right. You're not on your own. Neither is Yohji. And whatever this looks like, it could be so much worse. At least you're all alive. I really was afraid Yohji would never wake up."

"Me too," Ran whispered. "But he won't be Yohji any more."

"Yes, he will, Ran. Just the same as Schuldig is still Schuldig even with the brain damage. I know it's not the same thing – but he's still Yohji. Maybe we can argue about how much you can take away from someone and still call them the same person, but right now, I'm not going to split hairs and neither should you. You're too tired and upset for that. You need to talk to Schuldig too. He's awake, you know. Probably worried sick about you."

"Schu?" Ran hadn't realised. "I...I can't, Omi. I don't.... don't have any answers." In his selfishness, he'd forgotten that this impacted on Schuldig as well. He didn't know if he was strong enough to take on someone else's pain.

Omi put his hand on Ran's shoulder. "I think," he said kindly, "that you two just need to be together right now. Why don't you go in and see him?" Dazed, Ran stared at Omi. How could he help Schuldig when he couldn't even control himself? But Omi was insistent, standing and tugging under Ran's elbow to make him stand up also. "Ran, come on. Sitting here and hiding won't help."

Ran actually needed help to get up, his body feeling strangely weak and exhausted. Omi hissed in annoyance. "What the hell....? Ran, I didn't realise you were still so... for the gods' sake, why didn’t you tell someone you're still not okay? Come on, you should be in bed yourself."

Lacking any will to fight, and really not feeling up to physically struggling with anyone, let alone Omi, Ran let himself be dragged along back to the ward. His mind was too tired now for histrionics. Maybe it would all be a dream in the morning, or maybe Yohji would get his memory back. He just couldn't think that far ahead. He could barely think at all.

Schuldig was sitting up, and when he saw them come in, he made an inarticulate sound of distress, raising his good arm as an invitation for Ran to come to him. Omi took Ran to his side, and pushed a chair under his butt. Schuldig's arm was surprisingly firm and strong around Ran's shoulders as he laid his head on Schuldig's lap. "Schu," he whispered.

He heard Omi leaving the room. "Ran, don'," Schuldig said, his voice still distorted but clear enough to Ran's practiced ears. "Don' cry."

"He said... he'd bring my sword back...." He raised his head to look at Schuldig. "I don't want my sword, Schu. I just want him."

He put his head down again as Schuldig's hand gently stroked his hair, and wept like a child. Tomorrow he would be embarrassed, he knew, but he didn't care. Now he needed to grieve, letting out his fears and his pain in the one place where he knew he was safe and wanted, so he could put his grief behind him and engage in the battle once more. But that would be tomorrow, when he was stronger and calmer, and it didn't feel, as it felt now, that his entire world had splintered and nothing would ever be right again.

But somehow he knew he would still miss Yohji as badly as he did right now.

It was a grim and silent group who gathered in Ran and Schuldig's hospital room the following morning – the venue changed at Schuldig's insistence. Ken felt guilty that he'd slept so well – Louise had been restless, and Omi had clearly not slept well either. Omi had told them that when he'd come back to check on Ran just before he himself had gone to his room, he'd found Ran fast asleep with his head on Schuldig's knee. The nurses had lifted their red-haired friend up bodily and put him to bed – he hadn't even stirred. But even if Ran had slept through the night, he was clearly not rested enough, looking pale and sad, sitting next to Schuldig's bed. Schuldig looked unhappy too, obviously worried about Ran, holding Ran's hand firmly in his lap.

Ken wondered how Yohji had slept, and what was going through his mind, having woken up with no memory of his identity or his past. Yohji must be feeling scared and rather lonely, wondering why he was hurt and apparently abandoned. Ken hoped they could see him soon. But Omi had insisted they had to discuss things before they saw him – they didn't want to repeat the mistakes they'd made when he'd returned from the Singapore mission, putting him under intolerable pressure with their concerns and eagerness for his memory to return.

Dr Davis looked solemn. "Okay, now we're all here, let me be frank with you and get the bad news out of the way. Yohji has extensive retrograde and dissociative amnesia – he can't remember anything about his life, his identity, where he lived, where's he been, and even things like the fact he speaks and understands English. He can speak English, he just doesn't remember he can. Which brings me to the next bit of bad news – we don't know what's causing it. Amnesia has two causes – organic, that is to say, physical damage to the brain, and psychological, as when someone blocks out a painful memory. Retrograde amnesia, which is where you forget past events that occurred over a certain period, has a physical origin – however, so far as we can tell, there is no damage to Yohji's brain at all, although we're not completely sure there wasn't a side-effect from the procedure done on him before he went to Singapore."

Ken didn't dare look at Schuldig. The doctor continued. "However, if there was some after-effect, we doubt it could cause retrograde amnesia this severe, not after all this time. Omi tells me there's a possibility that he suffered some assault during the mission, but we can't detect what's resulted, if anything happened at all, on our equipment."

"Le' me," Schuldig said indistinctly. "I...can loo'."

"No, out of the question," the doctor said firmly. "Not until your brain has healed substantially more than it has. Schu, you could have another intracranial bleed, or cause a stroke. It's not a theoretical risk – the area you damaged is the most active part of your brain, right on the centre of your paranormal abilities. It would be like someone with a broken back trying to lift a car."

"You said two causes," Omi interjected. "Could Yohji be blocking something because of trauma? He went through a pretty bad time before he came over here."

She nodded. "That's a more likely scenario, certainly, but the type of dissociative amnesia Yohji is experiencing is quite rare. Now, I admit I'm no expert – but we're going to call one in today. If the cause is psychological, then his memories could come back with therapy – indeed, even if there is a physical cause, some return is possible, although, of course, where there is physical damage, complete recovery may not happen. I'm just concerned because I've never seen amnesia of quite this extent or type before. However, like I said, it's not my field and I'm certainly not an expert, so it's premature to worry on that account."

"When can we see him, doctor?" Louise asked.

"Well, that brings me to the good news. We're going to start him on therapy on his arm and knee today but there's no physical reason not to allow visitors, and with a few caveats, no psychological ones either. But there have to be some rules." She looked at Omi. "For one thing, there can't be any pressure to make him remember. There's no reason to hide things from him, but you have to let him set the pace. You have to understand that he's in a very confusing, rather scary position. He knows he has friends here, but he doesn't know you. You need to regain his trust and you won't do that if you're pushing him to do something he may never be able to do – and certainly, he can't do it any faster for being pushed. "

She turned to where Ran and Schuldig were listening in utter silence. "I know this is very difficult for you two, and Ran, I also know you've had a very tiring, very trying couple of weeks. For that reason, I want you to be very sure you can be calm and friendly with Yohji if you go to see him. If you fall apart on him, he really won't know what to do. I'm not saying don't visit him, but it's not just you who's hurt here. Do you understand?"

Ken saw Ran's fist clench, and Schuldig's hand tightened carefully around the one of Ran's that he held. "I will do my best," Ran said tightly.

The doctor pursed her lips. "You also understand that I'll have to limit visits if I think he's under stress? All of you? Good. There are positives in this situation, you know. So far as we can tell, Yohji's ability to make new memories is unimpaired – in fact, it's possible it's even improved. So every happy moment, every pleasant conversation you have now, will go to rebuilding your friendship in the future. He's not a tabula rasa – he has a personality and intelligence just the same as before. What you give him to replace what is lost is up to you." She smiled tiredly. "Think of it this way – if someone had lost everything they owned in a fire, they'd have to build everything from scratch. But that doesn't mean at the end of it, it wouldn't be a very fine home, even if it's not the same as the first one. Does that make sense?"

Somehow Ken doubted that was much comfort to Ran or Schuldig. Still, it was a positive that Yohji's brain wasn't apparently damaged. Ran would surely prefer Yohji was amnesiac than a vegetable – or paraplegic, he thought, somewhat bitterly. The doctor stood up. "I have to go – I've got other patients to see. Yohji will be needed for tests and therapy at different times during the day, but I'm sure he would welcome company, provided you abide by what I say. Omi, I'll leave you to organise your people. Ran, Schu, if you want to talk to me, I'll be free later today. Please do get someone to find me if you want me – any time, if I'm around, I'll be happy to talk to you," she said earnestly.

Ran just stared back stonily, and Schuldig didn't react at all. She shrugged. "I'll see you all later."

After she left, no one spoke. Ken wondered what was going through Ran's brain – he knew his friend had a bad habit of putting the worst possible interpretation on things affecting his own happiness, a habit both Yohji and Schuldig had had a lot of success in combating. But Schuldig also had his own tendency to pessimism. Ken was worried the two of them would reinforce each other's depression over this.

Finally Omi cleared his throat. "Ken, perhaps you and Louise could drop over this morning. Ran, do you honestly think you can handle seeing Yohji right now?"

Ran stared unhappily at Omi. Schuldig lifted his hand and laid it on Ran's hair, stroking down it in an intimate gesture. "Not to'ay, Omi. 'Kay, Ran?"

Ran twisted sharply and looked at his lover. "I have to see him."

"Not to'ay, swee'har'. 'Kay?"

Ran slumped. "I can handle it," he muttered. But Schuldig just kept stroking his hair slowly until he looked up. "All right. But I want to know what the specialists say."

Omi seemed relieved. "Of course. The next thing to consider, now Yohji is awake, is when we're all going home. Schu, they seem to think you should be able to travel in a week. Does anyone have a problem with going back then?"

"Not me," Louise said fervently, which made Omi smile.

"What about Yohji? Where will he stay? With us?" Ken asked.

"He has a home, Ken," Ran said sharply. "He lives with me."

"He lives with his lover, Ran."

"Ken, this isn't a helpful...."

"No, he's right," Ran snapped, standing up. "Of course. Yohji's not my lover any more, is he? He doesn’t know me from a hole in the ground. He'd be happier anywhere else than with a stranger sharing his bed. Maybe we can find him a cute little Japanese nurse called Asuka and she can build a nice new set of memories with him."

He started to walk out but Omi caught his arm. "Ran, you're getting ahead of yourself."

"Really? Then what have I misunderstood, Omi?"

"Ran, come ba' here," Schuldig said, slamming his hand on the bed. "Come ba', da'it!"

Ran shook his head. "I need to be alone. I'm sorry." And then he slipped out of the room, his footstep moving quickly up the hall.

"Shit," Omi said with feeling. "Ken, did you have to bring that up now? He hasn't had a chance to talk to Yohji about this yet, or even think about it."

"Fuckwit," Schuldig said succinctly, the malformed word perfectly understandable, as was his furious expression.

"I'm sorry – I'll go talk to him," Ken said, sincerely regretful at his mistake.

"Just leave him alone, he's had enough to put up with," Omi said wearily. "Look, all of you – the doctor said we need to be careful about Yohji, but the same goes for Ran. He's very fragile at the moment – not only is he still not over his injuries, but he's been under a huge strain, worrying about Schu and Yohji. If we don't want to lose him and Yohji, this is going to need a lot of careful handling. Gods," he said bitterly. "So close to getting everyone out safe, and now this. Ken, if you say something like that to Ran again, I'll kick your ass. Louise, I'm counting on you to make sure your husband doesn't upset Yohji either."

Louise smacked Ken's head and not lightly either. "Husband, you're an idiot."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Schu, I really am." But all he got from the German was a baleful glare. He had a lot of ground to make up. "Should we go see Yohji now?"

"I don't know, Ken, don't you want to stop off and pick up your spare brain first?"

Man, Omi was furious. "I said I'm sorry. I'll watch it, honestly. I'm just thinking Yohji must be feeling a bit isolated right now."

Omi lost a little of the hostility. "Yes, he probably is. Listen to me – he's still Yohji, okay? He's not a child or a freak, or...."

"An i'iot," Schuldig said. "Not stu'id".

"No, he's not. He'll need a lot of support in the coming months, as will Schu. If you care about Ran, you help Yohji rebuild his life. Even if," and this with a regretful look at Schuldig, "he can't recover what he had, we owe him a happy life however he gets it. Understood?"

"Yeah, I got it. Lou, let's get over to him. We'll find you later and tell you how it went, Omi."

"Fine. Yes, please go on, I want to talk to Schu."

Ken knew he wasn't quite forgiven but all he could do was make amends. As they were all finding out all over again, it was impossible to undo the mistakes of the past.

He really didn't know what to expect when he saw Yohji. The situation had not a few similarities to that just a few weeks ago when Yohji had returned, battered and amnesiac and sick at heart from Singapore. But the big difference this time was that he hadn't just forgotten some of his memories (and most crucially, not just the ones which were arguably his happiest). He'd lost everything, good and bad, and Ken just didn't know how that would work out. He was going to keep his mouth under control for sure, or Louise would hold him down so Omi could kick him to death.

For some reason, he'd expected Yohji to be in a room on his own, but in fact there were two other patients, a reminder that Weiss weren't the sole occupants of the medical wing, however much it felt that way sometimes. Yohji was sitting up in bed, looking quizzically at a tray of food in front of him. He smiled when he saw them, for a moment looking eerily as if he recognised them. "Do you know if this is safe for internal use?"

"If it's not, you're in the right place to get your stomach pumped. Hi, I'm Ken. This is my wife, Louise."

Yohji pushed the tray away from him. "They tell me I'm Yohji, but I guess you know that. Excuse me for not getting up – the leg's a bit tricky."

"That's okay," Louise said, moving the chair beside the bed closer. "How are you doing?"

He scratched his head in an artless, innocent gesture that seemed not really like Yohji at all. "Well, I don't know. On the one hand, they tell me I'm lucky not to be dead. I feel just fine apart from the arm and the leg. On the other hand, they don't seem to know what to do with me. If you have any suggestions, I'll listen, because when I think about anything more complicated than whether this food is edible, my head kinda seizes up."

"We'll try to help, Yohji, but no one wants to pressure you," Ken admitted candidly. Yohji was too smart not to realise what people were doing, and Ken figured he would just get frustrated if he thought people were lying or hiding things. "But one thing you don't have to worry about is being shoved out in the big bad world without any memory or any help. We won't do that to you."

Yohji smiled crookedly. "Thanks. I have to admit I was worrying about that."

"You don't need to, Yohji," Louise said, moving a little closer. "We thought we'd keep you company, start to fill you in things, if you'd like. Where would you like to start?"

"God – where do I start? I don't even know what I don't know. Maybe... just tell me about you two? How I know you, what you do – how you two met, that kind of thing," he said with a shy smile.

Ken was surprised to find himself charmed by Yohji's hesitant politeness. It was very different from how Yohji he'd been when he'd come back from Singapore. That version of Yohji gave him the creeps. This Yohji was a relief.

He was also a lot easier to talk to, and Louise soon relaxed enough that she and Yohji were chatting much as they used to. The main difference was the flirting – or the lack of it. This Yohji didn't seem to need to compulsively sexualise his friendships, or keep people at arm's length with his banter. He was just curious and friendly, even though he was sharp as ever.

Ken was content to let Louise set the pace, listening more than saying anything himself. It was weird how much more cheerful and light-hearted Yohji seemed, for all that his amnesia clearly bothered him. It made Ken realised just what a weight of bitterness Yohji had carried around with him before. They'd got used to it, he supposed, and had concentrated on the façade more than what lay behind it. Ken had known how dark that interior was, had seen it from time to time, but all of them had their darkness and none of them liked to show their pain. He'd always thought Omi and Yohji were the most successful of the four of them at hiding it. Until now, he hadn't realised it hadn't been hidden at all.

Louise was talking about her pregnancy, which led to a conversation about their life in Australia. "Is it nice out there? I guess I must like it, and I can't remember living in Japan, but it seems strange to have ended up there." He shrugged. "It's so weird – I know the names of the countries, but I have no idea what they're like. I think the doctor wants to put my brain in a jar to study."

Ken had to grin at the idea of Yohji's brain being important to medicine. "You really love it out there," Louise said emphatically. "You have a great life, and good friends. You were really happy."

Yohji cocked his head. "'Were'? Do you think that's all over now?"

"No, we don't," Ken said. "It's just that you might have to adjust to stuff again. Louise is right, you really do love it there. I'm sure that'll be true again."

"And I have to go there and not Japan? How come I can't live there any more?"

Louise looked at Ken. The first landmine had just been set off. "It's a long story, Yohji, and I'm not sure it's something that you even need to know about. Did Omi tell you what we all do for a living?"

"Um...." His forehead wrinkled in thought. "No, actually he didn't. But I figured something military, since there are all these soldiers around."

"More like secret service. Government employees. We used to work for the Japanese government, but things went sour and the Australians got us out a couple of years ago. We work for them now. None of us can go back to Japan, Yohji. It wouldn't be safe."

"Right," he said, eyebrows raised a little in surprise. "And you're okay with that?"

Ken took Louise's hand. "I'm really okay with that."

"Then I guess I will be too. So, I'm some kind of spy? What did I do, blow myself up?"

"Not this time," Ken said with a grin. "No, come to think of it, actually I think you set some of the charges, so I guess you did blow yourself up."

Yohji looked at the cast on his arm. "That explains a lot. I look like a jigsaw underneath my clothes. I think I'm really glad I can't remember how much that must have hurt."

He looked up and Ken turned. A nurse was in the doorway, with the physiotherapist who'd been helping Schuldig. "Sorry, Ken, I'll have to steal Yohji away for a bit. He'll be back in an hour."

Louise stood. "We could come back this afternoon, Yohji."

He smiled at her. "I'd like that, if you don't mind. It's been nice talking to you both."

"We're just glad to have you back, Yohji," Ken said. "See you later."

Out in the corridor, Louise announced she was going up to their room. "I just need some time to think, Ken – do you mind?"

"No, love. I'll go find Omi. I'll find you and we can go to lunch."

She gave him a kiss and walked off. Ken wasn't sure how he felt about what they'd just seen – but he liked the person Yohji was now. At least it wasn't going to be a hardship to talk to the guy. That made things a lot easier for all of them.

Ran was desperate for sunlight and fresh air, but none of them were allowed to leave the facility. The best he could do was to ask for directions to the greenhouse that Ken and Louise were always talking about, and to head up there before he blew his top. He had come perilously close to punching Ken, which would have been unforgivable in front of his wife, but only what his thoughtless, tactless friend deserved. Not that Ken hadn't spoken the exact truth, but Ran was angry that he'd been pushed into losing control over his emotions for the second time in just over twelve hours, when he knew how desperately important it was that he kept control over them. It was the only way he would get through the next few days and weeks – or years.

The 'conservatory' was clearly a pet project that had been through a series of hands, and showed evidence that different people were currently attending to their own little part of it. There were figs and potted plants with an institutional feel, and they, like the daylight simulation bulbs, the benches and the original pond, were probably officially installed. But the riot of smaller plants of all kinds, the little fountain, the folding chairs, and the wind chimes and other ornaments, some new, some green with age and mould, indicated that the staff felt this was an important space for them. The smell of damp soil and the colours of the flowering pelargoniums plugged into a primitive part of his brain, bypassing his emotional turmoil, and so he found himself drawn over to the shelf filled with straggling geraniums. Someone had gone on a cuttings potting spree some time back, and there were several yards of red, purple, white and brightest pink flowers, their fallen petals decorating the ugly concrete floor. Some of the shyer blossoms belonged to the scented pelargoniums, and as Ran brushed his fingers along their leaves, rose scent filled the air.

He began to tidy a little, taking off dead leaves and straightening stems. If it had been his garden, he would be more ruthless, but he was an interloper. All he could do was show some respect for the hard work of his unseen hosts, and clear away the litter that would harbour parasites and fungus.

He dumped the leaves into the wormery someone had installed in a corner, approving of the economy, and then wandered over to see what other treasures lurked in this surprising place. He welcomed the distraction of the plants, of having something to do that didn't involve illness or injury or people or anxiety. There was tools by the wormery, so he took a pan and brush and began to tidy around the pots. He was on his knees, looking at the soil at the base of one of the weeping figs and thinking it needed feeding, when he heard the door to the greenhouse open. He looked at his watch, and with a shock, he realised he'd wasted over an hour fooling around in this manner. Schuldig would be wondering where the hell he was.

"Am I disturbing you?"

He turned, and almost groaned – his body chose that moment to remind him that kneeling down on concrete and staying in the one position for nearly half an hour was not in the least good for it. Louise bent down and offered him a strong arm to help him stand, his pride being sacrificed to necessity. "Thank you. No, you're not disturbing me. I should get back."

But she kept her hand on his arm. "Ran, do you have a couple of minutes?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to talk to you. If you don't mind, I mean."

He really didn’t want to talk to her or anyone else right now. On the other hand, she was a team mate and a friend, and he'd been shouting rudely at her husband. "No, I don't mind. Shall we sit?"

She went over to a bench which he sensed had become her special place. He had to admit he was glad to sit down again. "We just saw Yohji," she said, her expression slightly worried looking.

"Yes, I know."

"He looked good, Ran."

He had nothing to say to that. It wasn't how Yohji looked which was the problem. "I'm sure he appreciated your visit."

She sighed. "I suppose he did. It's hard for him. So much he doesn't know, and he doesn't know what's going to happen to him."

"He won't be abandoned. If he needs somewhere to live, I'll move out and let him have the flat."

She gave him a wry look. "I can't imagine why I ever thought you were smart, Ran."

He bristled at the insult. "I'm serious. Do you think I will make him homeless because he doesn’t remember our relationship?"

"I know you're serious. I also know it's stupid. For one, you don't know what Yohji wants to do yet. For another thing – Ran, honey, did you stop loving Yohji last night when he woke up and didn't know who you were? Is that what happened?"

"No." He found his hands clenching into fists again. It was happening a lot lately.

"So you still love him."

"Louise, are you trying to make me angry?"

"No, hon, I'm not. I'm just trying to stop you losing something before you need to."

He couldn't meet those perceptive eyes. "I don’t want to be rude but what gives you the right to comment on the matter? This is my business."

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry. I just...." When she didn't answer, Ran risked looking at her and found her staring into space. "He's lovely, Ran. I always thought Yohji was such a great guy, and he still is. So sweet, and kind, and interested in things. Isn't that what you love about him?"

She really was taking an enormous liberty, and he had to bite down the urge to tell her to fuck off and leave him alone. "It's part of it."

"But you don't think you could offer anything to him? Or did you just hypnotise him into falling for you the first time?"

He went stiff with annoyance. "You're being offensive, Louise. This conversation is over."

He went to stand, but she put her hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Ran. Don't go, please. Look, I know we're not that close, but Yohji is one of my best friends and what you said to Ken really bothers me."

"I lost my temper, I didn't mean to upset you."

She made a sound of annoyance. "This is not about me, Ran. Why is it hard for you to realise people care about you? You need Yohji but you've already written off your relationship with him, without giving him a chance to get to know you again, maybe build something between the two of you again."

"It can't happen, Louise. The reasons we met, the reasons we fell in love, the reasons he loved me – are all gone. I'm just another man. He prefers women anyway. He won't even notice me."

She smiled and shook her head. "Ran, hon, I can guarantee he'll notice you. But say you're right. Don't you want him as your friend any more? You should give him a chance." She looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry if I'm out of line, saying this. I can't help wondering what it would be like if this happened to Ken, if he forgot me and the baby. I know I'd still love him and I'd still need him. He'd still be my best friend." She looked at him. "I know it would be awful to love someone who didn't love me the same way, but I'd really miss him if he left."

"I already miss him," Ran whispered. He rubbed at his eyes, furious at his weakness. "All these months... I just wanted him to come home. And he came home...and then I let him get hurt again...." He raised his hand in front of him, as if he held Yohji in the cupped palm. "He was so close... I nearly had him safe...but he slipped away, and I...I don’t know how to get him back...." He dropped his hand and then stood. "I can't talk about this any more."

He left her there, walking away before he made a bigger fool of himself. She thought she understood. They all thought they understood. No one could. No one except the person waiting for him two floors down, and Ran couldn't burden him with this crap. Schuldig had his own problems to deal with and he needed Ran to be stronger than this.

He really had intended to return to Schuldig's bedside, but when he got to the ward he heard voices coming from it. Sneaking a look around the door, he saw Omi talking to Schuldig. He didn’t want to talk to Omi.

He went to the day room, a poor substitute for the haven the greenhouse had provided. The room, designed for bored soldiers and other defence personnel, was decidedly charmless, and held the unappealing smells of dying paperbacks, greasy card packs, old magazine and musty televisions. He hovered at the doorway, wishing to be almost anywhere but here.

"This is stupid," he said out loud. He was running away from his fear, and he had learned long ago that was no way to deal with things.

He turned back down the corridor, past his own room, to one two doors down. He walked in and sat down next to the bed halfway down the room.

"Where ha' you been?" Schuldig asked, trying to push himself up in the bed. Ran helped him sit up, and then pulling a chair closer, he sat down. "You 'kay?"

"I'm all right. I ...I went to visit Yohji." Schuldig's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Yes, I know. Don't be mad."

"Why?"

"Because I was scared to, and that was stupid. Being frightened of Yohji makes no sense."

"Ran...." Schuldig reached for his hand and held it tight. "How di' i' go?"

"It was fine. Really," he added, as Schuldig showed his obvious scepticism. "He's just the same... only... maybe more innocent. Not cynical. It was strange, actually." In fact, Yohji had seemed like a much younger person, like a child might be who hadn't experienced any real hardship, or had the curiosity knocked out of him. He was also touchingly willing to trust, to believe that he was being told the truth. Ran wondered whether in the same situation, he would be so free of suspicion and fear.

"You tol' him? 'Bou' you an' him?"

"No. How can I, Schu? I can't tie him to me over a relationship, over feelings he doesn't remember, doesn't have. He's been given a fresh start. He has to be free to choose who he loves."

Schuldig's grip tightened on his hand. "Ran, you ha' fee'ings too. Don' be a mar'yr."

"I'm not, Schuldig. I want what's best for him, and I don't want a lover out of obligation." Ran looked up at Schuldig's face. "What about you? Everyone is talking like it's just me."

Schuldig shrugged with his good shoulder. "I' hur's. Bu' you are firs'."

"That doesn't matter," Ran said fiercely. "First or last, who cares? I know you love him same as I do. What do you think I should do? Should I tell him about us or not?"

Schuldig freed his hand and reached up to stroke Ran's face. "No. You're righ'. Worri' bou' you, Ran."

Ran turned his head and kissed Schuldig's palm. "I'm worried about all of us. I still love him, Schu. I could never not love him. Even if he never feels the same again, just knowing he's alive is enough. Is that pathetic?"

"No. Same me fo' you, me fo' hi'. Fuh'ing mess."

"Yeah. But we have to deal with it, there's no other option." He rubbed his cheek against Schuldig's hand, needing the comfort. It was a fucking mess and he honestly didn't know what to do about.

Louise suggested they give Ran and Schuldig some space for the rest of the day. She'd met Ran in the greenhouse, she'd told Ken when they'd met up for lunch, and she said he'd been upset. Ken wasn't surprised at all, and regretted more than ever pushing the issue of what would happen when they returned home. His mouth had always been a lot less under his control than his feet, and that was true even now, he thought wryly.

Omi was also keeping clear of them, probably because he was still mad at Ken. So all they could do was wait for news about the consultant's visit to Yohji, and for any sign that his memory might possibly be coming back. They spent more time with him that afternoon, discussing his physical therapy, talking about Ken's injury and how he'd handled his recovery – and many other things as well. Maybe it was because Yohji's mind was waiting to be filled, or maybe it was because he'd always been inquisitive, but he had a boundless curiosity on every subject Louise or Ken cared to bring up. He couldn't hear enough about Ken's football obsession, or Louise's archery, or life in Australia, or the little of their jobs that Ken was at liberty to discuss, or Louise's observations about the nursing staff. It was like he was making new memories right in front of them, filing everything away, using it to anchor himself in his strange new world. And all of it with the humour and kindness which Ken had always associated with Yohji, without the tempering cynicism that had once seemed intrinsic to the man, but which Ken found he didn't miss at all.

Omi found them in the canteen as they were queuing up for supper, asking if they would join him. "I have some bad news," he said quietly as they sat down.

"Is it Yohji?" Louise asked. "Has something happened?"

"Not today, no. But Ran's suspicion was right, it seems. I got Jeffrey Walker to check with the scientists looking at Susan Blyth-Jones' papers – there's masses of them, and they've been analysing them since the mission – to see what she was working on in regards to amnesia." Omi looked at them solemnly. "She was working on permanent memory erasure. From what Walker's found, she seems to have succeeded, and Yohji was one of her test subjects."

"How?" Ken demanded. "Schu said it was impossible."

"No, he only said Estet hadn't succeeded in doing it. Now it looks as though they have. We haven't found the device she used – it's possible it was destroyed along with Epitaph. But it's pretty clear she did do something to Yohji while he was missing."

"So," Louise said slowly, "the time he was asleep, and his brain was working... it was working on this? Like a computer virus?"

"Possibly," Omi said. "Or maybe it was trying to repair the damage and couldn't. It was obviously set to work at a slight delay – maybe they were planning to do it to people and return them to their normal lives so there was no connection with Estet. We don't know."

Ken pushed his food away. He felt sick at this news. "The consultant? What did they say?"

"He didn't have any answers. Like Dr Davis said, it's not really like any amnesia they've ever seen, which tends to support the idea that it was the result of Blyth-Jones' actions, not injury."

"And it's not because of what Schuldig did?" Louise asked anxiously. "Because if it was, the poor guy would probably kill himself."

Omi pursed his lips. "I doubt it, actually. It probably didn't help, not that it's Schuldig's fault. But she didn't mention it as a factor. It seems the main attraction was the fact that Yohji was so emotionally vulnerable. Which is my fault."

"Look, Omi, whose fault it is, isn't as important as how we fix this," Ken said, impatient with the hair shirt routine everyone seemed to be going in for these days. "Can we fix it? Can Schu do something once his telepathy is working?"

Omi snapped out of self-pity mode. "We don't know, Ken. I really have no idea, and I doubt even he does. Dr Davis suggested we could get one of the artificial telepaths from Edinburgh to come down and have a look inside his head, but frankly, Schuldig's the only person I would trust. It will be weeks before we can safely let him use his powers and by then we'll be back home."

"Okay, then we need to work on the assumption that Yohji is going to be like this forever. How does that affect Weiss? How does it affect how we live? What about Ran?"

Omi speared a bit of roast potato with his fork and examined it gloomily. "You've got a lot of questions, Ken. I don't have a lot of answers – yet. It's not up to me, not all of it. Some of it has to be worked out between the three of them and I don't want anyone to interfere with that." Louise looked guilty at that comment and he glanced at her. "Is there something I should know about, Louise?"

"I, um... well, I kinda talked to Ran today."

"Oh?" Omi said in a frosty tone. "Were you as tactless as Ken?"

"Um...not intentionally. But he got upset anyway."

Omi laid his fork down. "Am I going to have to send you home ahead of the rest of us to stop you hurting them? Louise, I know you meant well, but Ran... Ran isn't at all an easy person to help or to understand. Ken, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. I don't think she did any harm, Omi. She just suggested that he talk to Yohji before giving up on their relationship."

He gave them both a baleful glare. "Okay, this is me in leader mode – you two stay the hell out of their relationship, and stop interfering. Ran is a mess. Schuldig's a mess. Yohji's condition is precarious and we have no idea what we're dealing with. You are not going to make things worse for them or you'll answer to me, understand? Do you?"

"Yes, Omi," Louise said meekly.

"Who made you the expert on them, Omi?" Ken wasn't going to let a kid like Omi tell him about people. "They're not going to sort this out without help and you know it."

"No, they won't. But right now, you're both doing more harm than good. You're pushing Ran – Ran doesn't do well when he's pushed, and especially not when he's at the edge of a cliff. If you want to help, help Yohji, help Schuldig. But stop pushing Ran. The guy's been through too much pain. I'm serious, Ken."

Omi stared at Ken until he nodded. "Okay, I get you. But I bet he fucks it up, just like he fucked things up when his sister died."

"Ran's not the same person he was then, and he's got Schuldig to help him. Back off, Ken. I mean it."

"Yeah, you said. I heard you, Omi. You just better be right this time. These are my friends too, you know."

Omi pointed his fork at Ken like he wished it was his gun. "Then act like it. We haven't come all this way, gone through all this, to lose them at the last hurdle."

Dr Davis was very pleased with Schuldig's progress and said that if he continued at this pace, he would be clear to travel back to Australia by the end of the week, which was in five days' time. Until then, he and Yohji would receive what therapy the unit could offer, and receive more specialist assistance once they got home.

Once they'd got that news, Omi took Ran to the canteen to talk over coffee. He told him he had to stop wearing himself out looking after Schuldig. "You've got friends here who not only can help, they need to help, Ran. All of us can do what you're doing with Schu, and it makes us feel useful. Can you let us do that?"

The logic was unarguable. "If Schu agrees, Omi. He's not very happy with Ken right now."

"No, I know, and neither am I." Omi sipped his coffee and made a face. "Gods, this stuff is muck. I'm really looking forward to going home. How about you?"

"It will be easier in some ways," Ran admitted. "Omi, I want leave of absence to look after Schuldig. He'll need someone to take him to therapy and work with him. If I can't get leave, I'll have to resign...."

Omi interrupted his rushed words with a raised hand. "Ran, calm down, of course you can take leave. At the moment, we can pretty much ask for the moon and get it. Um... but what about Yohji? Does he know what your domestic arrangement is?"

"No." Ran had visited Yohji several times, and they had had several long, and not unenjoyable conversations. But Ran had deliberately kept off personal matters, and given no hint about their relationship, or Yohji's with Schuldig. Yohji knew they were friends – but nothing more. "I want him to be able to choose, Omi. He doesn't have to live with me, or share the flat. He shouldn't even have to live in the apartment building."

Omi picked up a spoon and began to fiddle with it. "That might cause ASIO some difficulties. He's a security risk – we can't just let him out in the wider world, quite apart from the fact he can't handle it just yet. His memory could come back at any moment, and he would be a target for all sorts of reasons. We still have plenty of enemies – they'll never round up every member of Estet." He laid the spoon down and looked directly at Ran. "But I'll see if I can come up with an alternative, some kind of protective custody that keeps him safe but lets him live a relatively normal life. It will be up to him to choose, though. What if he says he wants to come back with us? Can you cope with that?"

It was Ran's turn to avoid Omi's eyes, picking up his unused napkin and beginning to fold it. He was halfway through before he realised that he was making the same flower he'd taught Yohji in the flat in Surbiton. He put the thing down again. "I thought perhaps he could stay in our apartment, and I could move in with Schuldig, at least for a start."

"No, Ran, that's not what I meant. I meant, can you cope emotionally?"

"Do I have the slightest choice, Omi? Whether he's in the building or the other side of the world, do you think this would hurt less?"

"No," Omi said regretfully, "I don't suppose it would. How are you two getting on?"

"Fine." His fingers kept brushing the half-made flower, and finally, unable to bear a bad job, he picked it up and began to finish it, however much the memories it brought back, hurt.

Omi shook his head in disgust. "Well, that was informative. You guys were friends before you were lovers. Do you think you can build that again?"

"I have no difficulty being friends with him, Omi. But is it fair to bring all my tainted history to him, to ask him to accept that I'm a murderer?"

Omi stared at him in exasperation. "Honestly, Ran – you come out with the stupidest crap for a clever guy. We're all murderers, if you want to see it that way. So is Yohji. Your past built you, the man you are, the man he fell in love with. His past is still there, even if he can't remember it."

"But he can't remember it, Omi. That gives him a new life, a new chance. He can do whatever he wants now – he doesn't need the burden...ow!" He glared at his leader, who had just rapped him on the head with the spoon. "What was that for?" he asked, rubbing the spot. That had bloody well hurt.

"It seems to be the only way to get through to you. Listen to me. You aren't a burden to anyone, least of all him. You were good for Yohji and he was good for you. I think that even this Yohji might find you have a lot to attract him, and to offer him. Ran – Yohji's not been dropped on Mars. He's got a support network, friends, a home, already. If he wants to start from scratch, that's his choice, but I don't think he'll want to. I've seen no sign that we revolt him, or that he wants to get away from us. I see a guy struggling to find a place for himself, and if the place exists and we want him there too, what's the harm in him taking it? You being noble about this is going to make it harder, not easier for him. If it's unbearable for you, then that's a different thing. Is it?"

"I don't know yet, Omi." And he didn't. It was such a stressful, artificial situation at the moment, he really couldn't judge.

"Well, that's honest, at least. We have different options, even if he decides to move back with us. He could stay in your apartment with you, or you can move out if you want. Or he could stay in Ken and Louise's spare, until I have the gym reconverted."

"But what will he do with his life, Omi? He can't work for ASIO, I don't think he would even want to."

"No, I don't think he would either. That's something I need to think about before I talk to you and him again. He won't lack for financial support, I guarantee that."

"I just want him to be happy, Omi. Whatever it takes, I just want him to have a good, long, happy life." His emotions were getting the better of him again. He'd been such a weepy idiot since he'd woken up with concussion. He hoped it would go away soon.

Omi's expression was kind. "We all want that for him, Ran. I want it for all of you. Now, I need to send some emails – I won't get an answer until tomorrow. You know they're laying on a jet just for us? From RAF Northolt – just like the Queen."

"They just don't want the press to get hold of us," Ran said sardonically.

"Or anyone else. It'll be a long flight – they're sending an army medic with us, just in case there's a problem with Schuldig. But we should be on Australian soil on Friday. You can see your garden again."

Ran didn't want to be reminded of another loss. "A garden like that needs constant attention. It's dead."

"No," Omi said with a grin, "it's not." Ran looked at him in surprise. "People owe me favours, Ran. I've pulled a few of them in. Your garden is alive and well."

For a moment he was lost for words, and only able to stare in shock at Omi. Finally, realising he must seem both idiotic and rude, he said, "Really? I...thank you." He blinked away stupid moisture from his eyes, touched beyond measure by this thoughtfulness. "Omi...I apologise. For... thinking you...."

"Were a hardnosed son of a bitch? I am, Ran, when I need to be. But I'm your friend first and I always will be. Now, why don't you drop in and see Yohji before you go back to Schu? I know he'd like to see you. Makes a change from babies and football."

Ran made a face. "They don't just talk about that, surely."

Omi laughed. "No, I'm being mean. Yohji just loves people – that hasn't changed. He's still an incurable gossip, and he doesn't miss a thing. He was asking for you earlier."

"Me?"

"Don't sound so surprised. Some people actually like you. You should have worked that out by now," he added with a grin.

Ran couldn't imagine why. But if Yohji wanted his company, he wouldn’t argue with that request.

Therapy sessions took it out of Schuldig, that was for certain. The demands of his healing body meant he slept more than usual anyway, but he always needed a nap after a morning session. Ran was in the habit of reading at his bedside until he woke again, and then they ate lunch together. More accurately, Ran's food got cold while he helped Schuldig, but Schuldig hated the nurses helping him with such things, which Ran completely understood. It was no hardship to help the man he loved, after all.

"Hey, can I come in?"

Ran almost dropped his book in shock. Yohji was standing in the doorway, supported by crutches. "Of course. Come and sit."

Yohji hobbled over. "This is your friend? Schu?"

"Yes. Keep your voice down, I don’t want to wake him up."

"Um, I'd like to talk to you, if you've got time, but I don't want to disturb him...."

"Come with me, we can talk outside."

He thought to take them to the dayroom, but there were other people there, and seeing Yohji's nose wrinkle fastidiously, Ran knew he objected to the drabness as much as he did. "I know somewhere better – do you mind walking a little way?"

"No, it's supposed to be good for me," Yohji said with a smile. "Besides, a change of scenery would be great."

Ran hadn't been back to the garden since the day Louise had bearded him there, but she was away with Ken and Omi this morning, in another part of the facility meeting with Jeffrey Walker's people and going over more of the finds from the Estet takedown. There was no risk of meeting anyone else from their team.

Yohji said little as he made his way to the lift and the short walk from it to the greenhouse. Ran helped him get comfortable on one of the wooden benches. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. This is great." Yohji looked around in surprise. "No one told me about this."

"I'm not sure patients are supposed to be here, but we can plead ignorance if anyone complains. What do you want to talk to me about?"

"Um... well, Omi came in to see me this morning. You know how we're all supposed to be flying back to Brisbane tomorrow night – he said that if I wanted to, I could go to Canberra instead. I'm just a bit confused – why can't I just go back to my place? Is that a problem for you?" he asked earnestly. "I know this is hard on you – you guys must really wish I was the man you knew – and I don't want to cause any trouble for anyone. But um... I don't know anyone in Canberra, or so Omi says... would it bother you if I came back to Brisbane?"

Ran began to pick scale insects off a small pot plant. They would need to watch that kind of thing, he thought absently. "Doesn't it bother you to share living space with strangers?"

"Everyone's a stranger to me. But I really like all of you. Louise is a sweet kid, and Ken makes me laugh. You...um...."

Ran turned. "I um?"

Yohji actually blushed. "I'm not sure if I like you as much as I'd like to ask you out to dinner... sorry if that's being too obvious. Gods, listen to me. You're probably straight."

He nearly laughed at the idea. "No, I'm not straight."

Yohji gave him a huge delighted grin. "Really? That's... uh, but do you...? Man, I sound like a kid. Getting ahead of myself too. Anyway, I like you as well, was all I meant to say. Guess that's good, since we're friends."

"Schu's my lover, Yohji." Ran didn't know why he blurted that out, except that it would have to be revealed at some point.

Yohji looked crestfallen. "Oh. Gods, sorry, I... shit, you must think I'm such an idiot."

"No, you're not an idiot. I... I like you too. I just want you to live where you'll be happiest."

"Omi says we're flatmates – but you don't live with Schu? Or does he live in the same apartment?"

Ran needed to exercise unwonted delicacy here. "Schu has his own place but I was thinking of moving in with him. He'll need the assistance. You could stay where you are – it's just across the hall."

"Okay... is Schu a friend of mine too?"

"Yes, he is. He's not up to visiting anyone or he'd have come in to see you himself."

"Oh." Yohji was silent as he absorbed that information. "How bad is he? Will he get better eventually?"

"He's not as bad as he could be, considering, and we hope so. It will be a long road for him."

Yohji gave him a sympathetic look. "It's a tough break. But at least he's got you. You guys are all really great friends to each other. I feel like a freeloader."

"You're not. Every one of us owes you a great deal, Yohji. Especially me. Anything we can do now is the least we can do for you. Please don't consider yourself unwanted."

"Thanks. You're nice, Ran. Schu's a lucky guy." He smiled wryly. "I can see myself being really jealous of him."

Gods. Yohji was flirting with him – not in the smooth, practiced way of old, but in the slightly clumsy way a teenager would. It was a thousand times more effective on Ran than any of Yohji's usual chat up lines, and he broke off a flower by accident, clenching his fist to hide his desire. "You and Schu are good friends too. I know he misses you."

"Maybe I could drop in to see him when he wakes up. Would he like that?"

"Very much," Ran said with total honesty. "He's rather embarrassed about not being able to speak clearly, so as long as you don't pay attention to that, he'll be fine."

"Great! I'm telling you, I'm sick of being in hospital. I don't know how you guys are standing it."

"No choice. But it will be good to go home."

Another big smile. "I think I'm going to like Australia. I can't wait to see where you all live, and it'll be nice to have you guys around. Things could be worse, couldn't they? At least I'm not on my own. I'm pretty lucky."

Lucky. Ran shook his head in amazement. "Why don't you come back down with me and wait until Schu wakes up?"

"I was hoping you'd say that. To tell you the truth, I'm kinda bored. Do I have any hobbies?"

"People," Ran said and Yohji grinned. "No, seriously."

"That might be a bit of a problem for a while, then. Anything else? Do I paint? Play sport? Competitive yoga?"

Ran had to smile – the first one in a long time – at the idea of Yohji doing yoga. "You told me once you used to do a lot of art when you were in high school. You draw quite well, when you've needed to. The only thing that really absorbs you is natural history, and that's a relatively recent thing."

"Huh." Yohji seemed perplexed. "Birds and stuff?"

"Birds, mammals, lizards, plants – you're becoming a Japanese David Attenborough."

"Who's David Attenborough?"

Ran grinned despite the pain of the memory. "Probably the closest thing to a god to you. You'll see when we get home."

"Okay," he said amiably. He reached out for the geranium blossom that Ran was holding, balancing it gently in his own hand. "I meant to ask – how are you doing? You always look so tired and Omi said you got hurt in the same thing that injured me – who looks after you?"

You do, Ran thought, losing his smile. "I'm fine, Yohji. Just a few bruises. You and Schu were hurt much worse than I was."

"Maybe," Yohji said, looking at him intently. "You're pretty devoted, aren't you. You give everything one hundred percent attention."

"So do you, just in a different way. In fact, it's hard to stop you giving everything you've got and more when you care about something – or a friend."

"Hmmm, I think you're not so different, Ran. You want to take it easy – Schu needs you and I'd be sad if you burned up into a little pile of ashes because you'd worked yourself too hard."

Ran so desperately wanted to touch Yohji's concerned, beautiful face. It took a physical effort to stop his hand moving towards him. "I'm fine. Shall we go back?"

"Sure."

Helping Yohji stand, supporting him, feeling his familiar weight was sweet torture for Ran. He had no idea how he would be able to tolerate living in close proximity with Yohji without going mad – but the idea of Yohji moving away was equally intolerable. He felt like a Wookie in a garbage scow with the walls closing in on him – and R2D2 was never around when you needed him.

"Oops, missing one Kudoh here," Ken said, backing out of Yohji's room. "Was he due for therapy? It's nearly supper time."

"Relax, Ken, he's probably stretching his legs in the day room," Omi said. "He can get up if he wants to, you know."

Louise patted Ken's shoulder. "I'll catch you at supper, guys – I want to see if my mum's answered my email."

Ken waved goodbye to his wife and then scratched his head. "He's usually in his room."

"Well, go find him, Ken," Omi said with exasperation. "It's a secure facility, how far do you think he's gone? I'm going to take a shower and I'll see you down in the canteen at six."

Omi had a headache, Ken knew, which was making him short-tempered. Hell, he had one too – listening to five hours of presentations and reports, even if every minute was packed with fascinating detail about Estet's operations, would give anyone a headache. He wanted a quiet evening with Louise doing something totally mindless – like watching Eastenders or that other damn show they they'd found one night, The Bill, he thought it was called. It was so bad, they'd found it hugely entertaining.

He heard laughter – and blinked. It wasn't a sound heard around the wards very often – and it seemed like years since he'd heard that pleasant tenor note. He wheeled quickly to Ran and Schuldig's room, and stopped dead in amazement at the sight before him. Ran and Yohji were seated at Schuldig's bedside, and the three of them seemed to playing a board game. As he watched, Ran said something in a low voice which he didn't catch, and Yohji threw his head back and laughed again. Schuldig was grinning as Ken hadn't seen since he'd woken up. All three of them looked astonishingly happy and carefree.

Ken resisted the temptation to slap his head to see if he was hallucinating, and instead, wheeled himself into the room. "Hey, Ken!" Yohji called. "Come and tell me if this is a word or is he having me on?"

He came closer. "Scrabble? Uh, Yohji, you should never play Scrab...holy shit – Schuldig!" He put his hand over the tiles and glared at the German. "Don't let Louise see you writing stuff like that."

Yohji stuck his tongue out at Schuldig. "There, the voice of authority. Put down another word, or pass your turn." He turned to Ken and said in a stage whisper, "he's a dreadful cheat."

"Yeah, he is. Ran's a sneaky bastard too." Ran merely lifted an eyebrow at the slur, a faint smirk on his lips. "I wondered if you wanted to come to supper with us, Yohji, but you look pretty comfortable here." More than comfortable, in fact. Just like old times. Except it had been years since Schuldig had had that hungry look in his eyes, a starving man watching a feast he couldn't have. And Ran had a sadness lurking in his eyes that had been familiar when Ken first known him. But still, Ken never expected to see them like this – not now.

Yohji shifted in his chair and look ready to stand up. "Actually, I've been in here since before lunch and I should let Ran and Schu take a break from listening to the poor stupid amnesiac."

"It's not a problem," Ran murmured, looking a little deflated at the suggestion that Yohji leave.

"Maybe not, but Schu's tired and you guys need some time alone. I had fun – can I come back tomorrow?"

"Course," Schuldig said, trying to push himself off the pillow. "Please come ba' tomo'ow."

"Great – I can try chess again. I want to see if I can remember the way those pointy pieces move." He rapped his skull with his knuckles. "Must be a side effect of the amnesia."

"I can never remember the way the bishops go either, Yohji, and there's nothing wrong with my brain," Ken said cheerfully, and blew a raspberry at Schuldig's sceptical eyebrow. "Come on, the others are going to be there soon. Ran, do you want me to drop over later?"

"If Omi's free, I wouldn't mind a briefing about today, but we don't need entertaining, Ken. You can spend your evening with Louise without a twinge of conscience."

"That's right, Ken. Everyone needs time with their loved ones, don't they, Ran?" Yohji said. Ken didn't dare look at either redhead when he said that.

Ran muttered something that might have been agreement, and then helped Yohji to his feet. "I hope you sleep well, Yohji."

"You know, that's the one thing I don't have any trouble with. I wonder if that's changed? Oh well, I shouldn't question it, or I'll add insomnia to amnesia."

"A' Gree' to me."

"What?"

Ran coughed. "All Greek to me." He shot Schuldig a dirty look. "We'll see you tomorrow, Yohji."

"Bye, guys," Yohji said, before limping alongside Ken down the hall to the lifts. "Have fun today?"

"Not really. Interesting, but hard work."

"Okay. I guess I'll never be involved in that – can't let the crazy guy without a memory loose on state secrets."

Ken made a rude noise. "You don't have a memory, but you're not crazy, Yohji. Sheesh."

Yohji didn't answer. The canteen was busy, and they had to ask for help with Yohji's tray since he couldn't carry it and Ken couldn't manage two trays. But eventually they were seated in a relatively quiet corner. There was no point in waiting for the others before they ate, since the food would be inedible cold, so they tucked in. Yohji swallowed a mouthful of chicken and then put his fork down. "Ken, can I ask you something before Louise gets here?"

"Sure," Ken said. "What?"

"When I woke up...Ran was holding my hand. And...we share an apartment... but he said he and Schu...." He shrugged. "I'm confused. I think I'm getting my signals crossed. I already screwed up once today. Ran and me – we're just friends, right?"

Shit, shit, shit. Omi would have his guts for garters. "Um... look, Yohji, why don't you just ask Ran?"

Yohji frowned. "Why don't you just tell me?"

"Because it's complicated and it's none of my business," Ken lied furiously.

"He says he and Schu are lovers. That's true, right?"

"Yes...."

"But he lives with me?"

"Um...yeah."

"You're hiding something."

No kidding, Ken thought. "Why is it important? Can't you just accept them as they are, see how things go?"

"I'm just trying to understand how I fit in here, Ken. And I really don't want to hurt those two. Ran looks so sad all the time."

Yohji had that right. "Well, say I told you that you had a close relationship with someone, but you couldn't remember them or the relationship. How would that help any of you? Like, if you had a wife or something – or a girlfriend," he added, trying to deflect attention from the actual and too easily concluded facts. "You couldn't just pick up where you left off, could you?"

"No, I guess not," Yohji said slowly. "It would really suck for the girlfriend though. I mean, if she still loved me and I couldn't remember her at all."

"Yeah. So, I'm just saying...you and Ran have a friendship now which you have to build up from scratch. If I told you that you two had been bitter enemies, would that change the fact you like him now?"

"No...I'd just be worried I was hurting him. You know, putting my foot in it all the time."

Something must have happened, Ken thought – but the three of them had seemed so at ease earlier. It didn't fit. "It's a risk. But Ran's pretty straightforward – if you piss him off, he'll tell you. If he says he likes your company, then he does. Ran... Ran doesn't make friends easily, Yohji. He's incredibly loyal to those he does have, and he'd literally die for them. You're the same and so is Schu. I don't think you need to worry they're just putting up with you. Schuldig...."

"Schul...dig?" Yohji screwed up his face in concentration as he tried to say the unfamiliar word. "I think you used that before. Is that his name? I thought it was Schumacher."

"Sorry, it's um, a nickname he used to have." This conversation was like wrestling with a python, seriously. "Anyway, Schu really doesn't suffer fools at all. He'd tell you to fuck off as soon as look at you if he didn't want your company. I could tell they were really happy to have you around, Yohji. They need it, with everything that's going on with Schu. They need all the friendship they can get, and you're important to them."

Yohji stirred his food around. "I want to help. Ran looks so tired and stressed out, and Schu.... Was it like that for you when you got hurt, Ken? How did you cope?"

"I had good friends, like you and Omi and Ran," Ken said. "But it took years to accept that I'd never walk – I still... you know, get depressed and stuff. Schu's not as bad as me, but he's had hardly any time to adjust and there's all the other shit happening, you and Ran being hurt...."

"Ran? He said he just got bruised."

Ken gave a dry laugh. "Yeah, sure. Bruised – try several torn muscles, every centimetre of his back black and blue, and a massive concussion. He's still a patient, officially, and he damn well ought to be."

Yohji sat up straight, as if surprised. "Really? Oh crap. I really shouldn't have stayed so long, but I was really enjoying myself...." He smiled wryly. "I don't seem to have remembered my manners, if I ever had any."

"You had some. I know I saw them at least once," Ken couldn't resist adding. "I'm sure they were enjoying themselves too. I haven't seen Ran smile in weeks. Yohji, you're worrying about this too much. All you have to do is just... go with what feels good, and trust them. They're smart, they like you, they'll tell you what they want."

Yohji relaxed. "That makes sense. Thanks, Ken."

Ken heaved a mental sigh of relief, glad to have managed to have distracted Yohji from the vexed question of his past relationship with Ran. It was an issue they'd have to address sooner or later – Ken couldn't imagine Ran would be able to keep it a secret forever – but at least Yohji and he had managed to reconnect. Talking privately among themselves, Ken had expressed to Louise his fear that Yohji would have so little in common with Ran that there might be nothing to build a friendship on. He was glad to be proved wrong, and it made him feel lighter and more cheerful about the future. Yohji had always had a core of steel and he had carried them through dark times before. Ken had faith he could do it again, with a little help from his friends.

Ran had never been so grateful nor so desperate to get out of a vehicle in his entire life as he was to disembark from the plane that had carried them, over twenty seven long and tedious hours, back from Britain to Australia. He even briefly contemplated kissing the ground, but decided against such an extravagantly silly gesture in favour of waiting for Schuldig's wheelchair to be lowered in the cargo elevator to the ground. It had not, as such things went, been a particularly uncomfortable flight. With only the six of them, a medical attendant and the crew, there had been plenty of room, and Omi, Ken and Louise, at least, had got some sleep. Schuldig had found it difficult to find a position which didn't make his badly broken ribs ache, and while he couldn't sleep, neither could Ran, watching anxiously over him, worried at any sign that the flight was putting pressure on his healing brain or body.

Oddly, Yohji had also been watchful, and it was he who had kept Ran company for most of the trip as Schuldig tried to rest. He hobbled over now as Ran waited on the tarmac for Schuldig. Omi was supervising the removal of their bags and herding Louise and Ken into a small passenger van that was to take them to the terminal on the airbase, before they were driven from Amberley back to their home. "You okay?" Yohji asked quietly.

Ran made himself smile. "I'm just tired. You?"

"Same. Long flight. Man, it's really hot." He shaded his eyes. "I'll need to buy some sunglasses."

Now Ran's smile wasn't forced. "I think you'll find you have a few pairs already. You all right, Schu?"

The nurse who'd flown with them had now wheeled Schuldig over. Ran's lover looked exhausted, and rather pale. "Nee' t' ge' home."

His voice was barely more than a whisper and Ran was concerned he might be getting a cold. "Yes, we do," he said, putting his hand reassuringly on Schuldig's shoulder. "Let's get into the car."

At least customs and visa checking took no time at all. It was a very quiet and subdued group of people who were driven the fifty kilometres eastwards towards their inner Brisbane home. Schuldig could hardly keep his eyes open as he leaned on Ran, dozing some of the time, but not really resting. Louise was doing the same to Ken. Omi was watching the road pass, his thoughts unreadable. He'd probably had the most rest of all of them, but he also looked weary. In comparison, Yohji seemed alert, clearly fascinated by the dry Australian landscape, the housing and the cars, but he said nothing, as if respecting the need of the others to rest. Ran wished he could lay his head on Yohji's shoulder as once he would have done almost without thinking. It had been hard to remember that he couldn't have that with Yohji any more, when it had been Yohji who had exposed and fed his need for physical contact. Yohji sometimes looked to Ran as if he would have welcomed a hug – but it was simply too dangerous a habit to begin between them.

The airman who had driven them from Amberley helped Louise and Omi get their bags into the apartments. Ran took Schuldig and Yohji up to their level in the lift – blessing the irony of the place being entirely friendly to disabled people and those on crutches because of Ken's residence. There was another fortunate irony – because of Yohji's previous amnesia, before he'd flown to London he'd moved his personal belongings into the second bedroom, where he already kept his clothes and CD collection. Thus none of the awkward questions about why he was sharing a bedroom with Ran came up, for which Ran was very glad because he was too tired to lie effectively about something so painful.

He hadn't time to even orient Yohji before dealing with Schuldig, who needed to get some sleep as soon as possible. He helped Schuldig get into his own bed and arranged comfortably. "I'm going to speak to Yohji but I'll be back in a few minutes." He bent and kissed Schuldig's forehead. "Will you be all right? Do you need anything?"

"Jus' you," Schuldig said, his face drawn and his eyes bloodshot. Ran laid a hand on his forehead, but it was cool – perhaps he was just worn out and not getting sick. "I' fine."

"I'll join you soon."

Schuldig nodded. Ran doubted it would be long before he fell asleep, nor would Ran be far behind him. He felt utterly stupid with exhaustion but he had something that needed to be done.

When he went to his own apartment, he found Yohji sitting in one of the armchairs, a dazed look on his face. "It's not what I was expecting."

Neither of them had had a home of their own that they could do what they liked with before this one, and since they'd had to start from nothing, like Schuldig, they had taken their time and bought furniture and decorations of quality, only choosing something when they were both happy with it and sparing no expense if they were. The result was a quiet, restful apartment with touches of Yohji's brighter personality in the art on the walls, and expressing their shared love of nature with the few ornaments. Ran loved their home – or rather, he had. Now, he wondered if he would ever call it his home again.

"That's not surprising. Your room's in here." Ran showed him into the slightly smaller room that had been kept tidy but little used since they'd moved into the flat nearly two years before. "I'll be in Schu's apartment but the door won't be locked – our foyer is secure – so you can come over if you need anything." He grabbed a pen and notepaper from the dresser and wrote down some numbers. "That's the PIN for the doors. Omi's one floor down, if I'm not around. He looked around, wondering where to start first. They needed groceries, laundry, he wanted to look at his garden.... There were so many things all of a sudden, but he felt too numb and shattered to begin. At least his emotions were numb too. He'd expected it to hurt much more than this, seeing Yohji as a stranger in their home. He felt nothing right now. "Do you need anything?"

"Yeah – you to relax. I'm okay, Ran. Go and look after Schu. I'll manage. I'll just be asleep for the next few hours. I can't believe it's only ten in the morning. My body doesn't know what planet it's on."

After three weeks underground, Ran was in a similar state. "I'll come over later. We'll need to sort out food and things, but I can't think about dealing with that."

Yohji got to his feet – he was nearly at the point where he didn't need his crutches any more, and was decidedly more nimble than he'd been. "Nor can I," he said, laying a friendly hand on Ran's shoulder. "Go to bed," he said gently.

It was perhaps the kind tone, or the familiar words said with unthinking friendship where once they'd come with love, or just having him stand so close, but Ran's eyes began to prickle, and an ache build in his chest. He managed to choke out some kind of agreement before he made an ass of himself, and stumbled back to Schuldig's apartment. "Wha's wron'?" Schuldig said sleepily.

Ran put his face in his hands. He felt so cold and old and hopeless. It was fine until something happened to remind Ran of how wrong things were, and then he lost it. Every fucking time, he lost it. "I miss him, Schu," he said in a broken whisper. "Can't do this."

"Ran, come t' bed. Come on, swee'ha'." Schuldig tugged at his shirt, until he lay down beside him and hid his face against Schuldig's shoulder, his breathing all snuffly with suppressed tears. Schuldig cupped his head and began to stroke his hair in a gentle, soothing manner. "Thin's wo' out, Ran. Be fine, you see."

But they wouldn't, Ran knew. He needed Yohji's love, he needed Yohji. He didn't know how he could live knowing he would never have him at his side again. But somehow he had to, because it wasn't just him any more. Being needed was sometimes a burden he just didn't want any more.

Ken was probably awake a little before the quiet knock on their front door told him that someone hoped that at least one of the occupants wasn't still dead to the world. It had to be Omi or Yohji – he could guess which one, actually.

He swung out of bed, disturbing Louise only briefly, and wheeled himself to the foyer, catching sight of Yohji's limping form walking to the lift. "Hey, we're here."

Yohji turned, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry, didn’t meant to wake you up."

"You didn't. Come on in." Yohji looked pretty much the way Ken felt – disoriented and still bone weary – but also nervous. "Want some tea?"

"Sure. That's what I was looking for, actually. I don't know where any of the shops are, and there's no food in the flat. Ran's still asleep and he looked shattered. I don't want to disturb him."

"No, I understand. It's okay – Omi arranged with the airman to get a few essentials for all of us, and him and Lou will probably go shopping tomorrow morning, when Ran takes Schu for his assessment." He debated whether to explain why he was needed on that trip as well, but no one had told Yohji about the paranormal aspects of their team, and Ken sure as hell wasn't touching that until Omi said to. "You and Omi can eat with us tonight. Ran will probably make something for Schu or we can give him something to heat up."

"You guys are really a family, aren't you?" Yohji took a seat and looked around curiously, spotting the wedding photos on the bookcase. "Is that me?"

"Yep. You were my best man."

"It looks like you had a great time – when was it?"

"Just last year." Ken repressed a sigh – it hadn't been more than six months ago, and so much had changed since then. "How do you like the apartment?"

"It's okay," Yohji said, but not with any enthusiasm. "It feels ... hell, maybe it's just my imagination, but it feels like something's missing. Like it's not a home. But everything feels weird to me right now."

"Give it some time, Yohji. We haven't been back more than a few hours." Privately, Ken thought that even though Yohji's empathy was being blocked by the same null field generator that was suppressing Schuldig's telepathy, he could still somehow sense that the thing that had made it a home – the love between Ran and him, the love between his three older friends – was broken.

"Once everyone's over their jetlag, we can take you out and show you Brisbane."

"I'd like that. It sure is hot here. Thanks," he said, accepting the tea. "You've got a nice place. Do I spend a lot of time here normally?"

"Yeah, on and off, when you guys are around. The last year or so, that's not been very often."

Yohji stared into his mug. "I suppose I'll need a new job. Don't know who'll hire an amnesiac ex-spy, though," he added gloomily.

"Omi already told you not to worry about that, Yohji. If you need to be retrained, he'll organise it."

"I wonder how long I'll have to let Omi and the rest of you make decisions for me, Ken. I'm worse off than a kid even. At least a kid knows who his parents are. Outside you guys, I don't know who my friends are, or my family, or anything."

Ken offered Yohji some crackers. He was hungry, but his stomach didn't know whether it wanted a snack or a three course meal. He guessed Yohji probably felt the same. "We're most of your friends, although you're pretty friendly with some of the soldiers and ASIO people we work with. Not as much as me, though. You don't have any family that we know of – your dad died when you were two and your mother raised you, but she died of cancer when you were nineteen. You've never mentioned anyone else. I'm an orphan too so I didn't think that was weird."

"I didn't know that. I mean, about you being an orphan. I'm sorry."

Ken shrugged. "Hey, it's old news, and I've got Louise and the baby now. You guys are all I need for family, and we look out for each other. Always have, always will. Don't sweat it, Yohji."

Yohji shifted uncomfortably in his chair and stretched his injured leg a little. "I'm just worried you'll get tired of me depending on you – Ran's already sick of it, I can tell."

"No way," Ken said firmly. "Did he say he was? Ran's not like that, Yohji."

Yohji's eyes were sad, even as he smiled a little. "It's not what he said – more...he doesn't know how to deal with me. Sometimes, we'll be talking and it's fine, then I'll say something and he just clams right up and I can tell I've upset him. He's trying, because he's so kind, but...he's got enough on his hands with Schu. Maybe I should take Omi up on the offer to go to Canberra, get out of everyone's hair."

Ken topped up Yohji's tea and regarded him seriously. "Is that what your gut is telling you to do? Honestly?"

"Honestly? I have no idea, Ken. I feel like I'm adrift and all I have is all of you, but if that puts you under too much strain, then I'll lose you. I don't want that."

Ken made himself smile reassuringly. "We're tough, Yohji. We can handle one slightly damaged friend between the five of us."

"And Ran? Do you think he wants me to stay? Honestly?"

"I think," Ken said, choosing his words carefully, "that Ran has lost a few people he cares for, and you're a close friend. You might think you're bothering him, but I bet he doesn't think that, and if you go, it would really hurt. Remember what I said about trusting them?"

"Yeah. I just...." He looked up, and to Ken, he seemed very young and very scared then. Not like any version of Yohji Ken had ever seen. "What if it doesn't work out, Ken? Or what if something happens to the rest of you before I've found a place? Everything I am, I owe to you, and I don't know who I am or what I should be. I look into my head for answers and there's nothing. I wake up in the middle of the night with the screaming terrors because of the emptiness in my mind. Where did it all go? Why... how... did this happen to me?"

There was something about Yohji these days that brought out the big brother in Ken. "I don't know, Yohji. It was something on that last mission we don't understand. But it wasn't because you did something wrong. It doesn't make you less wanted either. If you knew...." He took a breath, because his voice was starting to wobble. "Let's just say, you were away on a mission for a few months and that was one of the hardest times of our lives. If you have to go away because it makes you happier, we'll all support that – but don't think you'll make us happier if you leave. Because you won't. Yohji, I'd give up the chance to walk again if I knew it would keep you with us."

Yohji's eyes widened and he went very still. "I...God. What do I say to that? You make me sound like a whiny brat. I don't know what I did to deserve you guys as friends, but shit...." He smiled but with a visible effort. "I'll just suck it up then and trust things will work out. But I still want to help, try and be useful. What can I do?"

Glad that the emotional moment was over, Ken grinned. "Well, for now, you just get your knee back in shape and wait for the cast to come off your arm. Omi's got some ideas for things you might like to do, and in a few months, we'll be needing a baby sitter."

"Me? With kids? No way!"

Ken smiled at that. Yohji was great with kids partly because he didn’t think he was. "We'll see. I tell you what – I'll leave a note for Lou and we can go on a little walk, just down to the shop and back. Do you think you can manage? It's only a few hundred metres."

"Sure. I can hitch a ride on your chair if I need to, right?"

It seemed like months since he'd woken up next to someone, and so, even tired and depressed as he was, Ran lay still and enjoyed the simple pleasure of the warmth of Schuldig's body against his. Even being on a familiar mattress was a relief after weeks on cheap, hard beds or those in the hospital, which seemed designed to encourage patients to get out of them as quickly as possible. For a few moments, he pretended that everything would be all right now they were all home.

But he was never one for self-delusion, and soon enough, thoughts came crowding in of what lay ahead. Schuldig's flat would need modifying, and Ran would have to pick up a walking frame for him from the hospital tomorrow – something Schuldig was going to be difficult over, Ran already knew. And then they didn't know if he would need to be an in-patient at the rehabilitation hospital, or if he could go there every day. Ken would have to go with them until a portable null field generator was available which might be weeks yet. But by then, Schuldig's brain should be better.....

"Stop."

Ran looked up into a pair of concerned blue eyes. "What?"

"Stop wo'ing." Schuldig eased his good arm out from around Ran's shoulders and then he traced a line over Ran's forehead. "Wrin'les. Yuck."

"You're worried about my looks?"

"'Course." Schuldig cupped his chin. "Kiss?"

"Of course." He leaned up, careful to put no weight at all on his lover's injured chest, and gently pressed his lips to Schuldig's. There had been so little privacy in the hospital – and so many worries. It had seemed so long since he'd been alone with Schuldig, at least, in any way that was enjoyable. "You should get some more sleep."

Schuldig just tapped Ran's head to say he should too. "You be'er?"

"A bit. Sorry."

"Mo'on. You miss hi'. I know." With a grunt of effort, he managed to bend and kiss Ran's forehead. "I miss hi' too."

"It's just... he's like our Yohji but then he's not... and then he does something just like the old Yohji and I think he's back... but he isn't.... Gods, Schu, will this feeling ever go away? I'm so glad he's not dead, but then I feel bad because I'm mourning him while he's alive.... I'm hurting him, confusing him. He doesn't know why...." Schuldig reached for his hand and Ran slid his own into Schuldig's, resting it lightly on Schuldig's stomach. "He's trying so hard to be careful, to be a good friend... but it will never be enough, Schu, because I remember and he doesn't...."

"Lo', don'." With an effort, Schuldig managed to roll on his side so he could look at Ran directly. "Mem'y migh' come ba'."

"I don’t think so, Schu."

Schuldig glared at him. "Said migh'. Bu' sti' Yoh'i. Sti' hi. Make i' new."

"Make what new? A friendship? A relationship?" Schuldig shrugged. "Why would he want to?"

Schuldig leaned over and put his face next to Ran's. "Cos' you're cu'."

"You don't make a relationship out of cute, Schu."

"No? Wa'a be'?"

Ran glared at him. "I am not betting on a relationship with someone who has no reason whatsoever to pay any attention to me that way." Except that Yohji already had, Ran thought, remembering that suddenly. But it was just physical attraction. Yohji had a weakness for redheads, Ran knew that. Obviously that had survived his amnesia – and Ran didn't discount the boredom factor either. Yohji had had very little to occupy himself in the hospital, and Ran was a convenient fantasy figure. "You should get some more sleep, Schu. You know the doctor told you that being overtired was really bad for you."

"Hun'ry. Nee' pee."

Ran sat up, his body stiff from the flight and still sore from his injuries. "I'll help you get up. I think Ken said they had food. Omi's getting the workmen in to...."

Schuldig's fingers on his lips silenced him. "Ran. Lo' you."

Ran kissed the hand covering his mouth before pulling it gently aside. "And I love you. I'm sorry – I just want to...to make you better, to make it all better." Schuldig brushed his cheek with the back of his fingers, his eyes sad and kind. "I'm so used to having him here to help me."

"Sti' here. Jus' diff'ent. Mi' be be'er. Be pa'ent." Schuldig tapped him in the middle of his chest. "Loo' af'er you. Don' go nu's."

"I went nuts a long time ago. You really think we can make something good from this?"

"Yeah. You ca'." Schuldig gripped his shirt and looked at him, his eyes saying clearly what his unreliable mouth could not. He had faith in Ran. He needed Ran to make this work. So Ran would just have to, because Ran always did his best for those he loved. He had to make this work for all three of them.

He just wished he had the first fucking idea how.

Fortunately, Schuldig's assessment was good enough that a period of residential rehab was ruled out as unnecessary. It did mean he would have to be taken to the Princess Alexandra Hospital in south Brisbane five and a half days a week, but that was preferable to finding a facility in which a null field generator could be discreetly installed. Instead, Ken went with Ran and Schuldig the first few days until a reliable portable generator was sent up from Canberra – Schuldig's injury had sent the research team into overdrive, Omi reported, and they had got the battery powered unit designed and made in record time, just for him.

They settled into a routine that was both dull and tiring. Ran was involved to a certain extent in learning how he could assist Schuldig at home and what exercises to keep up with him on the one day a week they had off, but there was still an awful lot of sitting around and drinking coffee while Schuldig was put through the repetitive routines which would help his brain recover. Schuldig hated the entire business, and he really hated using the walking frame which he needed to support his weak leg. At home, he had Ran rearrange his furniture so he could stagger between the living room, the bathroom and the bedroom just by grabbing onto things – between that, and the modifications to his apartment (which he also loathed), he could manage. But he simply couldn't walk unassisted, and since he hated the wheelchair more than the walking frame, he refused to go anywhere other than the hospital or the apartment building until he could walk on his own.

Which could take a couple of months, Ran feared, although even now, after five weeks, Schuldig had gained a lot of ground. The most dramatic change was in his speech – if he spoke slowly and took his time, he was much clearer and easy to understand. Unfortunately, any pleasure he might have got from that was negated by the fact he still couldn't use his telepathy. A single attempt two weeks after they'd returned to Australia had brought on a nightmarish migraine and Ran had insisted Schuldig not try again. He had enough to cope with just working on his physical well-being.

Ran's world narrowed to Schuldig's needs. His grocery shopping was taken care of by Ken and Louise – Omi having gone back to Canberra a week after they'd got back – and when they got home in the evening, Schuldig just wanted to eat, bathe and fall into bed, he was so exhausted. That meant Ran was free by about seven, by which time it was too late for him to work in his garden. Occasionally, Yohji knocked on the door, but Ran didn't encourage him – not that he didn't like Yohji coming by, rather the opposite. It was too painful a pleasure for him. Most evenings he spent alone, reading or watching the news, before making it an early night. If he had the energy, he would use the gym for an hour. He didn't often have the energy.

Sunday was the one day they had without other commitments. Schuldig still needed to do his home routine, which took a couple of hours in the morning, but after that, they were free. The first couple of Sundays, Ran took Schuldig for a drive up to the Sunshine Coast – but then a cyclone off shore from Townsville sent weeks of torrential rain onto the state which made driving a chore and getting in and out of anywhere a real pain in the ass. His garden had to fend for itself. It had been months since he'd been able to care for it as he wanted to.

But finally there was a slight break in the weather. There had been some actual sunshine, welcomed by the Brisbane residents as a chance to air out musty laundry and flooded houses, and to mow grass which had grown uninhibited for weeks during the downpours. This Sunday, the air was filled with the high pitched whine of weed whackers and lawn mowers, and the traffic out on the main road was heavy, people glad to get out of houses and flats and seeking some fresh air outside the city. Since Schuldig was resting after his exercises, and wasn't interested in an excursion, Ran decided he could safely steal a couple of hours to see what damage had been done during his neglect to his precious plants.

It wasn't a pretty sight. Everything was mouldy and mossy and muddy. He'd lost plants, others were straggling unattractively, and the pots were full of disrespectful weeds. Determinedly, he set to dealing with those at least. He would need to go to a garden centre and buy replacements for the dead plants, but that would have to wait until he had more time. Schuldig was going to be another three weeks attending the hospital, at the very least. As they were coming into winter, he might even have to wait until Spring before he could plant the pots again.

"Hey, Schu said I'd find you up here."

Ran laid his trowel down and turned. "I thought you'd be out driving again." Since Yohji had had his cast removed a couple of weeks before and his leg had been pronounced fit, he'd been practicing using Schuldig's car, as Ran was using their own to ferry Schuldig to the hospital. Yohji had picked up the Australian driving system again easily, and since Ken and Louise had gone to Canberra the previous week, he had been deputed to do the grocery runs in their place.

"Nah. Bored with that now. Besides, I've been waiting to talk to you."

"Oh. Is there a problem?"

"There doesn't have to be a problem for me to talk to you, does there? What are you doing?"

"Weeding. The place is a mess."

Yohji looked around him. "I dunno, it's kinda pretty in a way. I could help if you like. Is it hard?"

"Not at all. But don't you have something more pleasant to do?"

Yohji sat down carefully on the paving stones, wincing a little. Ran hoped he wasn't overdoing it with his knee. "Well, this is pleasant. For me, at least, I don't know about you. Show me what you're doing."

"I'm just pulling out the weeds, but you need to get the roots, especially on the grasses. See?" Ran showed Yohji how to dig underneath the tough little ruderals and make sure none of their sneaky roots remained, time bombs that would sabotage his work.

"How come you have to keep doing this?" Yohji asked, starting on the pot next to Ran's.

"The birds, the wind, brings the seeds into the garden all the time. I swear there's a god of weeds that walks around scattering the damn things."

Yohji laughed. "So Mother Nature has it in for you personally?"

"Very likely. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Yohji jabbed the little fork into the pot and turned. "Well... I wanted to know if I could help you with Schu. I'm going out of my mind with boredom, Ran, and I never see the two of you. And since I can drive now, I thought maybe I could play taxi a couple of times a week. If you'd like," he added hastily. "Just to give you a break."

It was the last thing Ran had been expecting. "I'm not sure Schu would be comfortable with that."

"Could you ask? It'd be a favour, honestly. It's pretty lonely here during the day – even if I could keep you guys company, it would be something."

"If you really want. I'll ask him." Ran couldn't see any harm in the idea – if Schuldig didn't mind, that was. He couldn't guess if he would.

Yohji grinned. "Great! That way I'll feel like I'm doing something useful."

"You are, Yohji. You're sorting out your life. It takes time, relearning everything. Just ask Schu."

"Well, you say that, but I just feel like I'm on hold, you know? Like, there are things I should be doing but I can't because I'm so...." He knocked on the side of his head. "You know, fucked."

"You're not 'fucked'," Ran said, waggling his trowel at him. "You're doing very well."

"Not well enough to keep you guys amused. You've been avoiding me, Ran. Am I that boring? I know it's tough when I can't remember anything, but I miss you guys."

Ran went still. He'd hoped Yohji hadn't noticed. "I'm just tired in the evenings, Yohji. Schu doesn't like people seeing him the way he is now. He's even avoiding Louise."

"Oh. I didn’t know that. I was hoping...."

"You were hoping...?"

Yohji tugged on his ear nervously. "Um... I've been practicing. Cooking, that is. Ken said I couldn't cook before all that well, but Louise had been giving me some tips and I bought some recipe books. I, uh,.... Well, I wanted to ask you two to dinner. I know it’s your flat and everything, but I wanted to make you a nice meal. I've made it before, I know it doesn't suck," he said earnestly.

Ran thought Yohji was being so sweet, that he really could have kissed him just for that. "I'm sure it doesn't," he said gravely. "That's very kind of you. When?"

Yohji's eyes lit up. "You mean you'll come? How about tonight?"

"Okay." He knew Schuldig would enjoy it, and Ran could put up with it, and it obviously meant so much to Yohji. "Not too late, though, we have to be up early."

"No, no, come over at six." He looked as delighted as a kid at a birthday party. "You're not allergic to anything, I hope."

"Schuldig's allergic to asparagus."

"No one's allergic to asparagus."

"He is."

"Huh. Okay. It's the wrong season for that anyway. So what are you going to put in that tub? Why did the bush die?"

Ran washed his hands in the kitchen sink and then poured out two glasses of mango juice before taking them out to the balcony where Schuldig was enjoying the warm sunshine. "You were gone a long time," Schuldig said, accepting the drink and a kiss with a smile.

"Yohji wanted to chat. He's invited us to dinner."

"Really? You okay with that?"

"Why not? He really wants to do it – he's bored. You don't mind, do you?"

"I asked about you."

Ran just shrugged. "He's also offered to take you to the hospital a couple of days a week. I said I'd ask you. You don't have to agree. You know I don't mind."

"Good idea. The cripples should stick together."

Ran refused to rise to the bait – Schuldig only used that word to get his goat. "Fine. Then you can discuss it over dinner. I'm going to make lunch – how does salad sound?"

"Ran, wait, I've got something to show you."

"What?"

[This, Liebling.]

Horrified, Ran gasped out, "Turn it off! On, I mean. Schu, stop it!"

[Calm down, sweetheart, you'll have a heart attack. It's okay – I've been practising a little bit every day. I've just spent an hour listening to the neighbours having sex.]

"You're a bloody idiot – what if you'd had a stroke or an attack or something while I was in the garden?"

Schuldig rolled his eyes. [Oh, please, Ran. Do you think I'd do that to you? I feel fine, really. Not even a headache.]

Ran scanned him carefully. Schuldig did look fine, no sign of stress and his mental voice had no flavour of pain in it. "You still need to be careful. But...does this mean...?"

[Yohji? Yes, I can. I thought perhaps... tonight, while he's asleep. So he doesn't know. But do you really want the answer, Ran?]

"It's better than hoping without cause," Ran said flatly. "But turn it off, please – for my sake. For a start, you won't speak out loud if you can use it, and you know you have to keep using the muscles."

"Damn nag," Schuldig said peacefully, before reaching into his pocket to switch the null field generator back on. "Sooo... everyone's having sex except us."

Ran looked away. They hadn't made love since they'd come back. It wasn't just Schuldig's injury, or Ran's fatigue. His libido seemed to be permanently missing in action. He liked being close to Schuldig, but thinking about anything more just made him feel weary and sad. "Maybe later, Schu."

Schuldig regarded him critically. "Sooner or later, you need to accept things have changed, Ran."

"Oh, right. Like you have. You won't even use the walking frame and you need it. How am I supposed to get over losing Yohji? Can they put me in rehab for that? Can your telepathy fix that?"

He shoved his chair back angrily and stormed into the flat, furious tears in his eyes. Why was Schu pushing? Couldn't he have some time to grieve? He was trying to cope... but... it was so hard....

[Liebling, don't cry.]

He heard Schuldig using the chairs to move in from the balcony but he ignored him, and shoved his hand off his arm when Schuldig laid it on him. "Just let me deal with things, Schuldig."

"But you're not, sweetheart. Look at me."

Ran turned and glared angrily at his lover, his vision still blurry. "How am I supposed to know what to do, Schuldig? Is there a book somewhere on what to do when the love of your life doesn't remember you?"

"It does happen, Ran. People get head injuries all the time, end up with amnesia. At least he still wants to be around you."

"He just wants anyone to be around him," Ran shouted. "He's just bored and lonely. As soon as he's able to function on his own, he'll be off and running, making friends just the same as he always has done and he'll forget me all over again...." Schuldig put his good arm around him, leaning against the counter to keep his balance. "Let me go."

"No, because I love you and I'm worried." He laid his head against Ran's. "Don't have any answers, sweetheart. Can't make it not hurt either. I think you're wrong about Yohji but even if I'm not.... Ran, somehow, you'll survive this, and I'll try to make you happy even if I can't be Yohji for you."

"I don't want you to be Yohji! I want you to be you, but I want him to be him too!"

"Ran, he is him. You just want him to be the same, but people change all the time."

"Not like this. He's...."

"Happy. Sweet. Thoughtful. I like him. I still love him too."

"You think I don't? That’s what's so fucking hard, Schuldig! If I hadn't loved him before, I'd love him all over again!" He struggled against Schuldig's arm, but carefully so not to unbalance him. "Let me go."

"No. I want something from you, Ran. A promise."

Ran wiped his eyes angrily and glared at his stubborn companion. "Well, what is it?"

"Give it a year, sweetheart. Give him a year. If you can't stand it after that, then maybe we should move or something, make a clean break. Or you could go on your own – you don't need to be tied to a lame duck."

"You are not a lame duck!" Ran snapped. "Don't say that again!"

"Don't keep worked up, Ran – I am lame and that's just a fact of life. But you should still give Yohji time. You're giving me time to heal, after all."

A year? Two months had driven him almost to breaking point. "I don't know that I can promise that, Schu."

Schuldig stroked his face. "Yes, you can. You're strong. You're scary."

"I don't feel very strong right now."

"No, I know. You can do it, though."

"I won't make a promise I don't think I can keep."

Schuldig sighed. "All right. But give him time anyway. He needs it, and so do you."

Ran could only agree with that because it was true. It didn't make the facts any more palatable, though.

"So there's really nothing left of his old memories?" Omi asked.

"Not a thing," Schuldig said regretfully. The four of them were all in Ken's flat, taking the opportunity while Yohji and Louise were out shopping, to update Omi and Ken and to tell Ran and Schuldig what the result of Omi's negotiations in Canberra had been. "It’s not a block. It's like someone has scoured it clean. All that's there are the new memories he's made since he came back. Don't ask me how they did it – I hope no one can do this again."

"I don't think they can – whatever she was working on seems to have been destroyed in the fires. Still, I was hoping...."

"We all were," Ran said in a flat tone. Ken gave his team-mate a worried look. In some ways, he and Schuldig were doing better than they had been three weeks before which was the last time Ken has seen them – Schuldig was talking almost normally, and walking a lot better, and Ran didn't look quite so tired – but he looked just as sad. So did Schuldig, actually. Both grieving for what they had lost, he thought.

"It's a blow, I realise," Omi said calmly. "But not one we weren't expecting,"

"Does this mean you have to have the null field on all the time?" Ken asked. In response to Ran's puzzled look, he added, "because of the link thing. Like before."

"Oh. It doesn't seem to be causing a problem." Ran touched his back pocket. " I carry the generator just in case, but I haven't had to use it."

Omi turned to Schuldig. "Can you explain that?"

"Not exactly, Omi. What I think is happening is that before, I put a block on Yohji's memories and on it, which is what the telepathic energies were bouncing off – there's no block there now so nothing's rebounding onto Ran."

"So the link still exists?"

"Yes, it does. I don't know quite why it does, though." Schuldig looked at Ran in concern. "I'm no expert."

"No, I know. We'll need to keep an eye on things. Okay, since it's clear that Yohji's memory isn't going to come back, then I guess we need to make some more permanent arrangements. ASIO are going to invalid him out since there's no way he can really work for them any more. He's not shown any interest in office work either, not that I blame him. He'll get a pension, enough to live on, and I'll supplement that. What he does from now on is up to him. He will need to be monitored for the foreseeable future – if he decides to move away from us, arrangements will have to be made. But other than that, he can do whatever he likes."

"And me?" Schuldig asked. "They have no use for cripples either."

"That's me fucked then," Ken said tartly.

Schuldig seemed to have actually forgotten that he wasn't the only 'cripple' around, and he looked genuinely apologetic. "Oh... I'm sorry, Ken. I didn't mean...."

"Didn't think," Ran said severely. "Omi, please carry on."

"Thank you, Ran," Omi said, shooting Schuldig an annoyed look. "Obviously you can't go back into the field just yet. But there's a place for you in the research labs if you want it. In fact, I've persuaded them that the research can actually be based up here as some of the key scientists are actually seconded from Queensland. Ken and Louise will be running the unit. If you don't want to be part of that, then you have the option of being invalided out under supervision, like Yohji. It's your choice, Schu."

"And Ran?"

Ran folded his arms. "I'm going to resign."

"What?" Ken and Omi's voices clashed. "Ran, why?"

"Because I'm sick of it, Omi. I've done what I swore to do. I've avenged Aya and my parents, I've helped bring Estet down to where it can be dealt with. I've been a assassin and a secret agent for nearly ten years, and I'm tired. I want to do something where I never have to kill anything bigger than a weed."

Ken boggled. He thought Ran would be an covert operative until he died with his boots on. "Maybe Yohji could join you."

"Maybe. It's something I plan to offer him. You too, Schuldig. Perhaps you could just work part time on the research."

Omi frowned. "Are you talking about some kind of farm, Ran?"

"A nursery, actually."

"Babies?" Ken asked, confused.

"Plants, you idiot," Schuldig said. "Ran, you never said anything to me."

"It... it was something I was thinking about when Yohji was still in his coma. I've been looking in the newspapers, and there are a couple for sale north of Brisbane. I...I went to look at them this week while you and Yohji were at the hospital. I've put an offer in on one," he said, with a defiant tilt to his chin.

Schuldig stared at him in obvious amazement. Omi blinked. "Well. If plans are that advanced, I guess you're decided. I know ASIO will be sorry to lose your skills, Ran. Would you consider perhaps acting as a consultant, or working part-time?"

"Possibly. But not in the field, Omi."

From the look on Schuldig's face, Ran was going to have some 'splaining to do. But Omi didn't seem too horrified. "Very well. Put it in writing and I'll negotiate the best deal I can for you. Schu, you don't need to decide yet. Yohji's retirement will be effective in a month or so."

"What about you, Omi?" Ran asked. "If the team is disbanding in this way, what will you do?"

"I've been offered a job in Canberra. I've also been offered jobs in Virginia, and in London," he added with a self-deprecating smile. "I don't know which one I'll accept."

"Canberra! Omi, you can't leave us. Weiss needs you!" Ken said, aghast at his friend even thinking about moving overseas.

"Weiss doesn't exist any more, Ken."

"Like crap it doesn't!"

"Exactly," Schuldig said.

"Omi, Weiss is more than a fighting unit," Ran said solemnly. "Ken's right, we do need you."

Omi blushed. "Oh. Um... I thought since you were all going your own way, you wouldn't mind...."

"Are you fucking nuts? We just went through all this and you want us to split up again?" Ken glared at his friend. "Over my dead and bleeding body you will go to America, Omi Tsukiyono!"

"Yeah, what he said," Schuldig said. Ran nodded.

"Er. Okay, I guess it's the Canberra job. But Weiss won't be a unit in ASIO any more, you do realise that. Not with two team members gone and the others working on another project."

"It doesn't matter, Omi. So long as we're still together somehow. You'll be coming up on weekends, won't you?"

"I suppose I will," he said. "Since I'll be running a department which encompasses the paranormal research team."

"You'll still be my boss? Great!"

Omi grinned. "Yes, and you can still be my eternally insubordinate subordinate. Ran – won't you find plants dull?"

"I've had enough excitement for three lifetimes, Omi," Ran said fervently.

"But what if Yohji isn't interested in the nursery?"

Ran glanced at Schuldig. "I still want to do it. I thought... it would be a place where Ken and Louise could bring their family. Somewhere with space. A refuge."

"Sounds good to me," Ken said. They heard the ping of the garage alarm and in the monitor, Ken saw Yohji's car being parked. "They're back."

"Ran, Schu, let me talk to Yohji, and then you can tell him about your plans. Ken, I'm driving up to Toowoomba tonight to stay with Andrew Jensen, but I'll be back tomorrow." Omi stood up. "Schu, you've improved so much, I'm amazed. Ran, he's a credit to you."

"It’s not just me. Yohji's been working with us."

"Really?" He grinned. "I'm so glad you guys are sorting it out."

Ken rather thought that Omi was being deliberately disingenuous. He wondered exactly what was going on between the three oldest members of the team – and he'd love to be a fly on the wall in Schuldig's apartment in about five minutes' time. Partners didn't like secrets being kept from them as he'd had found out very quickly from Louise.

Ran knew he was in trouble and went on the defensive as soon as he closed the door of the apartment. "I was going to tell you, but I wanted to know what Omi was going to offer you."

"It's okay, Ran. I understand." Schuldig limped over to the sofa and sat down. "I thought I was going to get a cup of tea down there," he whined. "Some host that Ken is."

Ran stared at him narrowly. "Aren't you mad at me?"

"Nope," he said cheerfully. "Doesn't that just fuck with your head?"

"Why?"

"Why fuck with your head?"

"Why aren't you angry!"

"Make me a pot of tea and I'll tell you."

Still not sure Schuldig wasn't setting a trap for him, Ran set the water on to boil before looking suspiciously at his lover. "You read my mind?"

"Nope."

"You took a call."

"No. Ran, I didn't know anything about it until you said something just then. But it makes perfect sense, and I guess I've been waiting for this for a while. Your heart hasn't been in this job for ages. Yohji's hasn't been in it since we came to Australia, actually – and for the same reason. He's sick of killing. That's why he couldn't bring himself to finish Susan Blyth-Jones off. You two... you weren't meant for this life."

"Nobody is, Schuldig."

Schuldig gave him a ghost of a smirk. "Not sure about that, Liebling. But I think you're doing the right thing – right for you, that is."

The kettle clicked but Ran ignored it. "I thought you would think I was abandoning you. You're not going to leave ASIO, are you?"

"No, not yet. My need for vengeance isn't quite sated. If you think Otto Groener was the only person in Estet I want to see dead, you're wrong."

"But you can't go back in the field – I don't want you in the field, Schuldig. If you're there, I have to be there. Nothing else is fair, and I don't trust anyone else to watch your back." Ran turned and began to make the tea. "But I can't face going back into the field," he added in a low voice.

"I know, sweetheart. And so I will not go back either. But I can still fight Estet in my own way, and this way, Omi doesn't have to fight to keep me out of jail. I'm where they can see me, and I'm still serving my own cause. Everyone wins."

Ran slammed the lid down on the teapot and turned around. "Back to this again? There must be a way you can live without being watched."

"Well, there is. I just don't want to go that route."

"Which is?"

"Get another implant and have my powers switched off permanently. Which I will do if I have no alternative. But I still have uses for my telepathy, and I can still make a difference and earn my keep, so I'll accept what they offer. Besides... you've seen the hysteria. If I leave ASIO and try and work anywhere else, if there's even a suspicion I might be Estet, I'll be thrown to the wolves. I'm learning to live with my limitations, Ran. I thought you'd be pleased."

"I am," Ran muttered, plonking the teapot and two mugs down on the table. "I just don't handle change very well."

"It's a flaw, but I love you anyway," Schuldig said with a wide smile.

Ran joined him on the sofa, glad that his secret was out. He'd been planning to break the news to Schuldig over a nice meal, and then talk to Yohji about it later. He had no idea if Yohji would be interested, but the idea had taken root in his head and hadn't let go. When he'd seen the properties advertised, he knew he had to look at them. And when he'd seen the second one, he'd fallen in love with it. He didn't do many things on impulse, and he felt vaguely annoyed with himself over this, but at the same time, he could already see the business, the plants, the trees. He wanted it the way he had wanted Yohji to accept a three-way relationship with Schuldig. That had been a gloriously successful decision, despite recent events. He hoped this would be as well.

He sat curled up against Schuldig, drinking his tea and enjoying the closeness. Yohji had taken so much of the strain off him by driving Schuldig to the hospital three days a week and Ran had finally been able to start putting his life in some kind of order. The question of Yohji himself remained unresolved. He'd spent more time with them over the last two weeks, and since Ran hadn't been so tired, he'd felt more able to make the effort of handling his company and hiding his feelings. Yohji was blossoming under the responsibility and the attention – which only made it worse for Ran. He wished sometimes Yohji had undergone a different personality change than what he had. Ran heard about people becoming vicious, depressed, vile human beings after brain injuries. So why did he have to have a former lover who seemed more attractive and kind by the day, and whom he wanted more every time he saw him? The gods were laughing at him, he swore they were.

There was a light knock at the door. "Come in," Schuldig called out.

Ran straightened up as Yohji walked in, carrying shopping bags. "Hi – I've got your groceries but Omi said you wanted to see me, Ran?"

"Yes, if you have time." They put the groceries away quickly and then Ran suggested they go up to the garden. "We won't be long, Schu."

"Take all the time you want, Liebling."

The autumn was going through one of its last bursts of summer heat and the Saturday afternoon weather was very hot and bright so they took shelter under the sunshade. "So, what's up, Ran?"

"What did Omi tell you?"

"Oh, just that I'm out of a job. No surprise."

There was the tiniest tremor in Yohji's voice which told Ran he wasn't as sanguine about the decision as he was pretending. "I'm sorry, Yohji. But the alternative wasn't very pleasant, I assure you."

"No, he said. It just means I have to find something to do, I guess. Louise was talking to me about maybe working with some of the disabled kids that Ken coaches. And Lone Pine are looking for volunteer keepers. I'd like to give that a go, if they'll have me."

It made Ran so angry to hear that note in Yohji's voice, like he would have to beg for someone to want him to work for them, when he had so much to offer. "I'm buying some land up past Nambour. A plant nursery."

"Really? Wow? When, why... like a hobby?"

"No, a real job. I'm quitting ASIO, Yohji."

Yohji stared at him. "Honest? Isn't that a bit sudden?"

"No, not really. I've been thinking about it for a while but a place just came up and it was perfect. I've got more than enough money."

"Wow," Yohji repeated softly. "I think that'll be great, Ran. I know you love your gardening. I think you'll be happy. So... does that mean you're going to move away from here?"

"Probably. Not in the short term, but eventually." Yohji's expression fell. "I was wondering... whether you might like to come with me and work on it with me? If you don't have other plans?"

Yohji looked confused, rather than pleased. "Me? You want me? Why?"

"Well, because you seem to like something you can use your hands for, and I thought maybe you might like to do a nurseryman's course. Or something else – there's old stables up there, and aviaries – it's got a lot of potential."

He still looked confused. "Right... what about Schu?"

"He's going to keep working for ASIO, but he could possibly do that part time, and then he can come up on the weekends. It's close enough to commute – there's a train from Nambour."

Yohji shook his head. "I'm just... I still don’t know why me, Ran. I mean, we're friends, but... I've got nothing to offer and you know it. Hardly any money, no skills, no education. I'll be lucky to get a job sweeping the streets."

Ran wanted to shake him. "Stop it! Yohji, you have no idea what you're saying! You're one of the smartest, best people I know. I would be proud if you worked with me!"

Yohji seemed taken aback by his vehemence. "Okay... if you say so. I dunno why, but...."

He suddenly got up and walked over to the wall, leaning on it to look out towards the river. "Is something wrong?" Ran asked, walking over and leaning his back on the wall.

"Yeah. Ran... look, I can't accept this. It's too much."

"No, it's not. I need you."

Yohji glanced at him. "So you say. I still can't accept."

"Why?"

"Because hanging around with you is really bad for my heart."

"I don't....oh." Ran had hoped Yohji had got over this. Certainly, he'd kept his attraction well hidden, since that first artless admission in the hospital months before. Ran had carefully done nothing to encourage it, that was for sure, even though Schuldig thought he was a complete idiot on that account.

"Yeah. Oh. And I can't do that to you and Schu. I like you both too much. Way too much. I'm sorry. I wasn't going to say anything, but it's different being here than it would be if we were partners. I should have said something before but I've been trying to talk myself down to just wanting to be friends with you. I do," he insisted. "It's just that...."

"Yohji, I can't...."

"Yeah, I know. I'd never want to hurt either of you, Ran. So maybe it's good that you're moving away. I'm sorry I can't do this with you, because it sounds like my idea of paradise, but I can't.... Not with the other thing. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, Yohji. Forgive me for imposing. I won't mention it again – or the other matter. I appreciate your honesty." Every word was like Ran driving nails into his own coffin – but once more his habitual stoicism served him well. "I better get back to Schu."

"Don't hate me, Ran."

"I don't hate you, Yohji," he assured him quickly. "I'm... I'm flattered. I just.... I'm sorry."

He turned abruptly and walked stiffly to the stairs, never looking to see what Yohji's reaction was. He wanted to be alone, but he couldn't just run off and abandon Schu. So he went into the flat and shut the door behind him, leaning against it because his legs didn't want to support him any more.

"Liebling? What's wrong?" Schuldig asked in alarm.

Ran shook his head. He couldn't speak. Of all the horrible ironies of his situation, this had to be the worst. He wrapped his arms around himself and found he was shaking.

"Ran! Talk to me."

He looked up. "He...." He laughed humourlessly. "He's developed some kind of crush on me. More...more than a crush."

Schuldig got slowly to his feet and made his way over to where Ran was standing. "Has he now. So why are you upset?"

"Because it's not me, Schuldig! It's just this," he said angrily, poking himself in the forehead. "This damn face, my hair... he knows nothing about me, what made me, what I've done... he just sees the... the shell! And I don't want that, it's not real!"

He pushed past Schuldig and went out on to the balcony, feeling cold despite the hot day. If this Yohji, this gentle, confused Yohji, knew what a twisted, sick, evil bastard he was, it would make him puke, not apologise for being... inadequate... as if Yohji could ever be inadequate. "He can't love who I am."

"And why not? He loved you before, as do I. You love me and I'm fouler than you could ever dream of being. Foul and crippled to boot."

"You're not either of those things! Anyway, it's not the same situation. He's completely different from how he was before, Schu. He's pure... innocent... everything I will never be." He rubbed his eyes angrily. Yohji could have everything Ran had dreamed of now. A family, peace, a normal happy life with normal happy people. Ran had no right to drag him down into the filth that marked his own soul. Yohji was made for love and light. He had to find that with someone who had some vestige of cleanliness in their heart.

"Ran?"

He didn't turn. "Leave me alone, Schu. I just need to... I'll be okay."

"No, sweetheart, you won't, and this has gone on long enough. Look at me, damn it!"

Startled, Ran did so... and fell into a swirling whirlpool of light in Schuldig's eyes.

He found himself in a featureless field of grass, with an impossibly blue sky above him, and a bright yellow sun blazing down on him. It was like a child's drawing, the colours were so intense. "Where the hell am I?"

"In Yohji's head."

He turned and found Schuldig standing there. "What did you do?"

"Brought two very stubborn people together. Ran, I can't watch this any more. You're denying what's blindingly obvious to me – that Yohji is still attracted to you, still wants you, and from what you've said, has fallen as hard for you as he ever did before. Why is that a bad thing?"

Ran clenched his fists. "Because it's got no substance."

Schuldig nodded. "Fine. And if I can prove it has?"

"How?"

Schuldig crooked his finger and then began to walk away – without a limp, Ran noticed. "Come on."

Puzzled, Ran walked after him. As he did, the field began to disappear, and white walls appeared. He was no longer walking on grass. "What's this?"

"This is the part of Yohji's mind where his memories used to be. The field is where he's started to rebuild things."

"There's nothing here."

"That's what it looks like, I know. But there is something, I think. If I'm right, it's still here."

"Schuldig...."

"Be quiet, Ran. I can't do much these days, but I can damn well fix this. Ah... yes! I was right. Damn you, Yohji, you're so clever but sometimes you're too clever for your own good."

"Schu, what in hell...?"

"Shut up and give me a hand." Totally confused, Ran crouched down beside Schuldig, who was kneeling before a part of the wall that looked just like every other part of the wall. "Here – push on this."

"Here?" Ran placed his hand where Schuldig indicated. "Wh...shit!" He suddenly tumbled through a door which had opened up in the wall, and found himself in a dark room, with dim light coming from the far end. "Now what? Where are we now?"

"If I'm right.... yes, there it is." Schuldig got up and began to walk to the other end of the room. As Ran followed, he began to be aware of warmth, a pleasing sense of comfort, like being wrapped in fur. It made him feel calmer, and at peace. "That time, when I had to try and break through what Estet had done to you, I found this."

"But what is it?"

Schuldig looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You mean you can't tell? It's not even aimed at me, and I can."

Perplexed, Ran stared harder at the end of the room, at the muted source of light. It seemed to be some kind of large rock, like a huge, beautiful boulder opal. As he watched, it suddenly began to glow with deep red, green, gold and purple lights, pulsing faintly. He felt drawn to it, like he wanted to curl up against it and stay with it forever. "Is it... Yohji?"

"It's Yohji's love for you, Ran. The core of it. And you have something just the same for him inside you." He chuckled. "It was when I saw this the first time that I got some idea you weren't a completely irredeemable prick. Of course, I was too damn jealous of you to care."

"But... how can it be still here? Why didn't it get destroyed?"

"That's what I mean about Yohji being too clever, Ran. I think he did this himself – I think he knew what she was doing and somehow he protected this, locked it down so well that even his consciousness wasn't aware of it, so whatever she did, just overlooked it completely. But it's still keeping our link alive, and it's leaking just enough to confuse him and feed his feelings for you. It's real, Ran. This is built on his memories, his experiences. He forged this with all you and he have gone through. You can trust it."

"And those things?" There were smaller 'rocks' lying around, not glowing so brightly, but still emitting a sense of warmth and love.

"His feelings for other people," Schuldig said dismissively. "Not important. All I have to do is make his consciousness aware of this, and then he will feel what he always has done, and it will be as real as you need it to be."

Schuldig raised his hand but Ran protested. "Wait! Schuldig! What do you mean, other people...Schu!"

But Schuldig had already waved his hand, and the largest rock began to grow unbearably bright. "And now, Liebling," he said softly, "it's up to the two of you."

"Schuldig!" Ran screamed, but Schuldig had disappeared. "What have you...?"

"Ran?"

Ran whirled. "Yohji!"

Yohji stood there, looking as dazed as if he'd been hit over the head with a mackerel. "I've been asleep but now I'm awake," he murmured. " God...Ran...I love you. I remember...I remember that I love you," and then he swept Ran into his arms, crushed him to his chest and kissed him like he never planned to stop. Ran melted against him. He'd never thought to feel Yohji holding him ever again, nor to taste those beautiful lips. He wanted to die like this because he could never be this perfectly content or happy again.

"I love you, Yohji. I never stopped, I never will."

Yohji held him for a heartbeat more, then pushed him back. "But I don't understand," he whispered. "How can I feel this? What happened? Is this real?" His expression became confused. "Why can I remember loving you but I can't remember why? Ran, is this a spell?"

"No, it's real!" Ran cried, reaching for Yohji, who was backing away now with fear and distrust in his eyes. "Please, trust me."

"But I can't remember... if I could just remember – if I could just see, Ran!"

"Then see, Yohji! Look!" He grabbed Yohji and forced him to look into Ran's eyes, and then he made himself call up those special moments in their relationship which Ran would treasure for the rest of his days....

....you were so gentle

you were so scared....

....I was hurt and you were there to hold me

you trusted me to let hold you....

....When the dark was all around, you led me out

you followed me because you loved me....

....I was dying and you saved me

you came back to me....

....I love you

I love you....

Yohji was holding him, cradling him. "How? Who did this, Ran?" he whispered. "It's a miracle...."

"It was Schuldig...he brought you back to me." But then he realised what was wrong, why the moment wasn't complete. "Schuldig!"

He struggled out of Yohji's grip, and Yohji set him free. "Wha...Ran? What are you doing?"

"I have to go, Yohji. I love you and I'll be back. Schuldig!! Get me out of here!"

"There's no need to shout, Liebling."

Ran blinked. He was in Schuldig's living room – somehow he'd got to the sofa. Schuldig was standing at the balcony door, shadowed against the glass. "You bastard! You rotten, lying son of a bitch! Fix that!" He got to his feet and clenched his fists.

Schuldig was unmoved. "Fix what, Ran? Didn't you get what you want? Yohji loves you and now he knows why. Isn't that what you've dreamed about for months?"

"You know damn well what I mean! You deliberately didn't remind him about you! Why?" He stepped closer to Schuldig, but something in his eyes warned him not to get any nearer. "Why? He loves you too. I saw it, felt it. Make him remember."

Schuldig shook his head. "Nein. I won't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I don't deserve it, Ran. His feelings for me were just a side effect of our link, and that's fed by your love for each other. I'm just an interloper."

How the fuck could he...? After all that they.... "What a complete load of utter shit, Schuldig! Just go in there and fix it!"

"No, I will not and you cannot make me. But now you and Yohji are together again, I can leave...."

"No!" Ran slammed Schuldig against the glass door, twisting his hands in his shirt. "You won't leave me! You can't, Schu, I love you, and I'm not letting you go over this crap!"

Their front door flew open with a bang, and Ran turned to look at their intruder. He knew who it had to be. "Ran...." Yohji stopped short. "Wha'...I just.... What the hell just happened? One minute I'm in the garden, then I'm talking to you, and then I'm on my ass on the dirt!" He read Ran's guilty expression correctly. " You know, don't you – it wasn't some damn hallucination – it was real, you were there, weren't you? Tell me, Ran!"

"Yes. It was real, Yohji," Ran said, but he didn't loosen his grip on Schuldig for a second. He could feel Schuldig's muscles bunching, as if he was preparing to flee. Well, Ran wasn't letting him get away that easily.

"And I love you...." But as Yohji walked over to him, he seemed to realise something was wrong. "What's going on, and what's happening with you two?"

"Tell him, Schu."

"Nein."

"Tell him!" Ran yelled, shaking Schuldig a little. "This is just bullshit!"

Yohji came closer. "What's bullshit? God, I can't believe...Ran, I love you ... and you love me too?"

"Yes – but you love him too," Ran said, making Schuldig turn towards Yohji. "Tell him, Schuldig."

Schuldig just looked sick. "No. I'm not doing anything else, Ran. I've given you back the man you love, that's enough."

"But I love two men. So do you!"

"Whoa – just wait one fucking minute," Yohji said, putting his hands up. "Are you saying that Schu and I...as well as you and me?"

"Yes," Ran said determinedly. "The three of us – equals. All together. For two years, Schuldig! You can't just walk away from that."

"You can't stop me. It's my choice," Schuldig muttered, not looking at Yohji.

"Hang on a fucking minute – what about me, huh?" Yohji snapped angrily. "Don't I get a say in this? How the hell... no, you can tell me later how you did this. I just want to know why, Schu. Is it true? You love me? You've loved me for years?"

"Yes," he said miserably. "But..."

"But nothing. Ran, is it true? I loved him back the same?"

"Yes. You told him that before the mission last year. I was there."

Yohji pursed his lips. "And somehow, he's helped me remember my feelings for you but not mine for him?"

"Yes. Yohji, tell him to fix it! He won't listen to me."

"Why, Schu?" Yohji detached Ran's hands from Schuldig's shirt and nudged him aside so he could stand in front of him. "I really like you, even though I didn't know about this. Have you changed your mind about me?"

Schuldig raised his hands between the two of them, as if he didn't know whether to pull Yohji closer or to push him away "No! No... I just... you and Ran, you've been through so much and you don't deserve to have me taking time away from you, and I'm just a distraction. You two, you want the same things, you deserve...."

"Well, Ran's right – this really is bullshit," Yohji said flatly. "First of all, why do you think I want someone to suffer the way you're obviously suffering now? And second, you're not as damn smart as you think you are because I'm attracted to both of you anyway without any damn hocus pocus and if you won't do whatever it is Ran wants you to, I'll have to do it the old fashioned way. Ran, I want permission to date your boyfriend."

Ran felt his face split into a huge grin. "Granted."

Schuldig raised an eyebrow. "Don't I get any say in this?"

"NO!" they chorused together.

"Give up, Schuldig," Ran said. "He's a force of nature."

Yohji smiled triumphantly. "I'll convince you, you stubborn bastard. I'll wear you down until you believe me, and then we won't have any of this crap, okay? I want to fix this – for all three of us." He put out his arm and tugged Ran close. "But I have to date your boyfriend too, I'm afraid."

"That's okay," Schuldig said meekly. "I seem to have lost control of the situation, anyway."

Ran put his arm around Schuldig's waist and hugged him. "You never had it to begin with, Schu. But never mind." He leaned up for a kiss. "Thank you," he whispered. "It'll work out, you'll see."

"Or die trying, Liebling."

"I want one of those," Yohji said with a familiar, long-unseen pout.

"From who?"

"Hey, I'll take what I can get," he said with a sly grin.

And so he did.

Chapter Text

"Back away from the coriander, Ran, and no one will get hurt," Yohji warned, waggling the spatula in Ran's face.

"It needs...."

Yohji glared. "Who's running this gig? Me or you? Whose idea was it? Who bought the food? Who's been slaving over hot charcoal for minutes and minutes?"

Ran repressed a grin at Yohji's territoriality but Ken and Louise, as he could tell out the corner of his eye, weren't bothering to hide their amusement. "You, yes, but...."

That earned him a tap on the nose from a greasy implement, and he backed away, miffed, scrubbing at the mess. "That'll teach you. Now go and do something like give Louise a foot rub or something."

"I wish she'd never taught you how to cook at all," Ran muttered, stalking over to his other friends. "You two don't fight over the cooking, do you?"

"No," Ken said cheerfully, as Ran took a seat next to Louise. "She's better than me, and we both know it."

"Not that this indisputable fact is going to get you out of kitchen duties when this little fellow arrives," Louise said, wincing and rubbing her stomach. "Boy, he wants to come out. Hasn't stopped kicking all day."

"Or she," Ken amended quickly. Neither of them had ever expressed a preference for the gender of their child in Ran's hearing, but Ran couldn't help but wonder if Ken had a slight preference for a girl, Louise for a boy. Oh well, it would be a moot point in a couple of weeks – if Louise was going to hold on that long, he corrected himself, looking her over critically. The poor woman was enormous, and not being the world's heaviest set person to begin with, the bulge seemed to overwhelm her.

"Or she," Ran agreed peaceably. "How's the nursery coming along?"

"Just great," Louise said. "Yohji's been such a darling, we're all done. Not that I've been much help," she said ruefully, rubbing her stomach. "I've just got no energy."

"I'm sorry I've not been around to assist you," Ran said with genuine regret. "I should have more time for the next few weeks while I'm waiting for approval on the plans."

"That's all right, hon. Ken and I will have to get used to doing things ourselves, won't we, Ken?"

"We'll manage," Ken said with a cheerful grin. "Anyway, Schu will be around, and Omi sometimes...."

"And me," Yohji called out. "My course is only nine to five, so I'll be here in the evenings."

"And I will be back fairly often," Ran assured them. "It won't be as good...."

Louise fixed him with a fierce look. "It'll be better," she said firmly. "We'll be fine, Ran, and just think of all the space we'll have up there for the family. Once you get that house fixed up and the extension built, you won't be able to keep us away."

"That's the idea, Louise. I bought it with the intention of it being a second home for all of us, as well as a business – your family will always be welcome."

"If you set up that archery and shooting range, Ran, I'll need to let down the tyres on her car to keep her in Brisbane," Ken added. It was probably true, Ran thought – and if Ken could sneak his junior soccer players up from time to time, they wouldn't need any other enticements.

Ran glanced at Yohji and saw him look at his watch. "Should I put the steaks on? They said twenty minutes, and it's been fifteen."

"Not Schu's – he likes his very rare. Wait until he gets here – he can have some cheese if he's as hungry as he says he is."

"Yeah, but didn't he say he wanted to walk in and get some meat the second he got here?"

"Was he talking about steak, though, Yohji?" Ken asked innocently. Louise looked at him and then burst out giggling. Yohji blushed and grinned. Ran shook his head at his filthy minded friends.

"Your child will be taken into care for the protection of its morals, I predict," he said quellingly. "And yes, he meant food. They missed lunch."

He got up again and examined Yohji's preparations. Despite his belief that the marinade needed more spice, Yohji had done a very good job. He'd insisted on doing it all himself, which was a new thing to this new Yohji, something Ran was getting used to but rather liked, as he rather liked lots of things about Yohji now. He slid an arm around Yohji's waist, earning himself a warm smile, even as Yohji continued to concentrate on getting the coals just right so that when Omi and Schuldig arrived, he could sear the steaks in a couple of minutes. "Why don't you open the wine, love? Louise can have half a glass, and she needs it, I think."

Ran gave Yohji a squeeze and then did as he suggested. He couldn't miss the way Ken's eyes lit up when he moved to uncork the rather fine red he'd chosen personally – Louise had the man on a very short leash, and Ken was only able to sneak a beer when she wasn't around. Ran couldn't quite see the logic, but it wasn't for him to pry into their domestic arrangement. Never mind that the Palmer-Sakis had no such compunctions regarding his private life.

"Oh thanks, hon," Louise said, sitting up awkwardly and accepting a small glass of wine. "Maybe some booze will put the little bugger to sleep."

"Hey! That's no way to talk about my first-born," Ken said huffily.

"I'll talk any way I like, Ken Saki, it's not your bladder being used as a trampoline!" But she leaned over and gave her spouse a conciliatory kiss, before sipping her drink. "Oh, that's lovely, Ran. I don't know where you find this stuff."

"It's all Schu's doing, actually," Yohji said. "He's been giving us tasting lessons and dragging us around bottle shops."

"Not much dragging going on that I've seen," Ran said, remembering Yohji's enjoyment of some of Schuldig's finds, the happy evenings spent exploring them over good food made by one or other of them. Pleasant memories, to replace what Yohji had lost and to ease the pain of grieving for what was gone for good.

He saw Yohji check his watch again, but then the garage alarm went, and Ran knew his friend and lover were back. About time too, he thought. Three weeks was too damn long without Schuldig.

He took Yohji's wine over to him. "You could put Omi's on, if you like."

"Nah, the squirt can wait. He might have a shower and then it'll be ruined. Do you think the salad's okay? The okra's something new."

"It's fine, Yohji. Schu will appreciate it, I know."

Yohji smiled happily, and Ran felt a warm glow inside him. Angry as he'd been with Schuldig over what he'd done – or rather, not done – it had meant that he had been witness to something charming and rather romantic in the three months since then. Learning that his fantasies of having two handsome men as lovers had in fact once been reality, Yohji had taken that as permission to try to make his dreams come true, and had begun to woo an at first reluctant, now captivated Schuldig, getting to know him, spending time with him and Ran, and learning, all over again, how to make their three way relationship work. Ran was now seeing the two men he adored falling in love with each other again, and this time, without any taint of guilt or painful memories. It affirmed his conviction that now was the time in his life for renewal and rebuilding. Death and revenge were to be put behind him, and he regretted that not at all.

"Gimme food, I'm staaaaarving," he heard a familiar voice groan. "Raw, I'll eat it raw, anything. Hello, Liebling," Schuldig added, coming up behind him and kissing his neck. "Mmmm, maybe I'll just have the dessert."

Yohji laughed and Schuldig looked up enquiringly. "We were just saying.... I'll put it on if the cook gets a kiss."

"Ah, bribery now. In that case...." Schuldig shifted over and then put Yohji into a rather daring looking dip and smooching him. "Hello, kitten. I'm hungry."

"So I figured out," Yohji said with a grin, pushing himself upright, and slapping a steak on the hotplate with one hand, touching Schuldig's cheek with the other. "You okay?"

"Just tired and cranky, Liebchen. Omi's just having a shower, he'll be up soon."

"Told you," Yohji said smugly to Ran. "Schu, have some crackers and cheese if you're that hungry."

"Before? How uncivilised," Schuldig said with a mock shudder. "No, feed me some of that Grenache, Ran."

"Take mine, " Ran said, handing his lover his glass.

"Thanks." Schuldig took it and then limped over to Ken and Louise, sitting down next to her on the bench. Ran assessed the way Schuldig was walking, leaning not too heavily on his walking stick, and deduced he was tired but not excessively so. The work he was doing with Omi would have been mostly mental, although that would still have taken a lot out of him. He saw Yohji give Schuldig a look of concern – something that had survived Yohji's amnesia intact, possibly even enhanced, was his instinct to mother hen his friends. That also made Ran happy. Schuldig needed a lot of love these days.

The evening was warm and the garden filled with scent and the sounds of insects. The bug zapper kept them at bay, as did the citronella, but they promised a hot summer to come in a very short time. The garden wasn't exactly at its best, but Ran had been too busy to spend much time in it really for months now. Soon, it would be Ken and Louise's concern – Ran would be moving out to the house on the property before Christmas. Yohji and Schuldig would divide their time between Schuldig's flat and the house while Yohji was attending his course, and while Schuldig was working. Omi was going to move into Ran and Yohji's old place, leaving the first floor empty, ready to be let to some of the staff working in the new paranormal unit.

He would miss his garden and the cosiness of their arrangement here, but he was excited by his new venture, and the space offered so many possibilities to all of them. He could see a Weiss one day which had a new raison d'être, and a new purpose, working in the nursery and making a new home outside the city. Making living things, not destroying them. It made him feel very hopeful and content. For the first time since he was seventeen, he could see no shadow on his future.

"Now what's eating you, beloved?" Schuldig asked, getting up and coming over to him, draping an arm over his shoulders. "Yohji, have you been mistreating him?"

"I've been giving him beatings every night," Yohji said cheerfully. "Bread and water for his supper, and a spanking before bed."

"Ah, that's what he needs," Schuldig said. "What's up, Ran?"

"Nothing, Schu. Honestly. Just thinking about the nursery and how much I'm looking forward to it."

"Ran, do you think we really can have a horse up there?" Louise asked. She'd been raised on a farm, and had once ridden all the time before her family had moved to Canberra. When she'd discovered Ran's property had stables, her eyes had lit up, and she had begun to talk dreamily about owning a horse again.

"The architect seemed to think the stable's structure was sound, yes." The property was very run down, which was how Ran could afford it so easily, but there was a lot that he could work with. "But I know nothing about horses." He wasn't sure he wanted that responsibility while there were just the two of them up there most of the time.

"And that's why I love you," Schuldig said firmly. "Schatzi, horses bite and they poo everywhere. Nasty horrible things."

"Babies bite and they poo pretty often too," she said cheerfully.

"I rest my case."

"Oh, come on, Schu, I'll teach you to ride," she wheedled.

"Over my dead body," he said with a shudder. "If God had wanted us to ride horses, he wouldn't have invented cars."

"Schu, your steak's ready," Yohji called. "Anyone else want to eat now?" Ken accepted, but like Louise, Ran thought he would wait until Omi appeared. "You can teach me to ride if you like, Louise."

"I need to have my camera that day," Ken said. "Yohji on a horse. That'd be funnier than a monkey on a pig's back."

"Watch it, Ken. Don't insult the guy making the food."

"You can always spit on it," Schuldig said, taking the plate with his steak on it and taking some of the bread.

"You have the most disgusting mind, Schu," Yohji said, pulling a face. "God knows why I put up with you."

"Must be because you love me," Schuldig said lightly.

But Yohji fixed him with a serious look. "That must be it," he said quietly. Ran was pretty sure neither Ken nor Louise had heard that comment.

Schuldig started, lowered his eyes and then glanced at Ran, who only nodded. "Thank you, kitten. This looks great, did you make this yourself? Is this okra?"

He took a seat close to the barbecue and balanced the plate on his lap, but he kept stealing looks at Yohji, a pleased but rather surprised look on his face. Ran brought over the little folding table he'd fetched up from the flat just for Schuldig's use, and set it before him – with his weak hand, he couldn't really cut up a steak and juggle a plate at the same time. He crouched down beside Schuldig's chair. [Why so surprised, Schu?]

Schuldig looked up. [Just... didn't expect him to say it. He didn't before, for the longest time.]

[Things are different now. He has no reason to hide his feelings. They've been obvious to me for a while. Aren't you pleased?]

[Scared, Ran. I so don't want to fuck this up this time around.]

[You didn't fuck it up last time.] Schuldig grimaced. [No, you didn't. That was circumstance, and I won't allow you to blame yourself. Anyway – look at him. He's happy, and he's got the kind of life he wants. It's not like he got shoved out into the wide world for any damn person to prey on.]

[Still think I'm intruding.]

Ran sighed, and resisted the temptation to smack some sense into Schuldig. [Well, I don't, so damn well stop this. Look at him, I tell you. He's insufferably smug at having the two of us around. He even told Louise she should talk Ken into a third partner, because he thought everyone should have two lovers.]

Schuldig stared at Ran and then grinned. [Ken wasn't around, I take it.]

[No. Louise thought it was pretty damn funny. Yohji was serious, apparently.]

[We've created a monster.]

[I think we've created something wonderful. I wonder if Ken and Louise will feel this way when their baby is born.]

[Not the same. Yohji is already giving back to us. It will be a while before the child does – they're selfish little things for a long time. I don't think they realise that yet.]

[Don't disillusion them, they're enjoying the anticipation. Are you okay now? No more stupidity?]

[Not if it's going to make you cranky.] "The steak is perfect, Yohji."

"Oh good, I wasn't sure I'd got it right."

Yohji was wreathed in smoke and steam, busily attending to Ken's steak and some sausages. Ran stood and went over to him. "Why don't you take your wine and go sit with Schu? I can watch this. You've done the hard bit – do you want yours cooked?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind. Medium, okay? I don't want it mooing, not like Schu's." Schuldig stuck his tongue out at him, but continued to eat like he hadn't seen food in a month.

Ran took the tongs off him and made him go away. Yohji got himself some salad, took a couple of the sausages and his wine and settled down at Schuldig's table, where the two of them looked cosy in a little world of their own. Ran guessed they were talking mentally and left them to it.

The stair door went and then Omi was up on the roof with them. "Oh good, is that for me?"

"It can be, any time." Now they were all here, Ran put all the steaks on, and Omi took bread and salad over to Ken and Louise.

Omi didn't say much other than the usual pleasantries. He wore a little frown which indicated a headache, but as he ate and drank, it disappeared, and he was more than happy to chat to Louise about Canberra gossip. Ran kept out of all the conversations, tending to the cooking meat, content to watch his family relaxed and enjoying themselves, a evening of peace before the new disruption of childbirth.

Only once the coals were doused, he was seated with his own food, and the others were on their second helpings, did Omi's attention turn to him. He wanted to know the latest advice and quotes Ran had got for the rebuilding of the green houses, and of the house, and Ran passed on his latest thoughts about what he wanted to start with first. Omi was leaving it all up to him – he had asked if he could invest in the nursery really as a way of keeping a link with his three older friends, and perhaps, Ran thought, as a way of assuring a place for himself in his old age. That Omi might make a home of his own with a lover of his own seemed to be inconceivable. For Omi at this time in his life, Schuldig and Ran privately agreed that it probably was.

Yohji and Schuldig had finished their steaks and now dragged their chairs over closer to the others, to nibble on bread and salad. As almost always happened these days, Yohji ended up between Ran and Schuldig, close enough to touch both of them, close enough for them both to keep him safe. Schuldig and Ran just couldn't help it – they'd come so close to losing him, losing each other.

Yohji took a hand each from Ran and Schuldig and held them in his lap, which made Louise smile benevolently at the three of them. Her nesting instincts apparently insisted on harmony among her friends as well as in her home, and nothing seemed to make her or Ken more delighted than to see the three of them being affectionate with each other. She and Ken had taken on the role, unasked, of matchmakers, interfering without the slightest conscience in the renewed relationship between them, offering advice and encouragement to all three of them, and openly cheering on Yohji and Schu's courtship – and Yohji and Ran's. They approved, he knew, of Yohji's determination that he was going to do things right – and get to know his two former lovers properly before falling into bed with either of them. Ran privately thought there was some wager being laid on when he was going to get laid – it was just the kind of thing Ken would do. Ran had just not better find out he was betting with Schuldig on the matter.

"Oh, I have a new toy to show you," Schuldig said, reaching around his neck and pulling out what looked like a personal alarm on a chain. "My own private piece of peace."

"The miniature null field? They finished it?" Ken put his hand out to look at it. "Nice – it's smaller than the prototype."

"More reliable too, they say. Omi's got one too."

"So this means you're giving up on the chips altogether?" Louise asked, as Ken handed her the little device.

Schuldig looked at Omi. "Well, there are pros and cons, of course, but the feeling is still that they'd like to have the two of us undoctored if we can handle it, and with this little thing, Omi gets a break without interfering with me, or vice versa. Since we're both pretty powerful anyway, having a booster isn't that necessary."

"I prefer it this way," Ran said. "I don't want them playing with your brain again."

"No, who knows what they might shake loose this time," Schuldig said with only the slightest hint of bitterness. Yohji leaned over and rested his head on Schuldig's shoulder in silent comfort. "But the good news is that apparently we were right about my paranormal powers having something to do with the speed of recovery from the brain injury. There will always been some residual damage, but by rights I should be in a wheelchair, drooling and needing to be fed vegetable purée."

Ken looked thoughtful while Ran winced at the image. "What did the specialist in Canberra say?"

Schuldig shrugged. "Oh, the same. He's amazed that I've improved to the extent I have – he still thinks I'm being petty to complain about a wonky hand and leg."

"If I could walk using a walking stick, Schu, I wouldn't be complaining," Ken said quietly.

"Yes, I know, Ken," Schuldig replied without any trace of sarcasm. "I'm truly sorry they can't help you. I'm not really complaining, I just don't appreciate being told how grateful I should be it's not worse."

"No, I bet. Like the doctor who said to me I was 'lucky' the break wasn't higher so I wasn't a quadriplegic. I didn't feel real lucky at the time. You adjust, Schu. You already have – and every time I see you after you’ve been away for any time, I can tell you're walking a little better. You probably don't notice it, but it's there."

"Yes, it is," Yohji said. "Anyway, I think you're amazing, stick or no stick."

Schuldig gave Yohji a genuine, slightly regretful smile. "You're so kind, kitten. You were before and you still are."

Yohji and Schuldig looked into each other's eyes long enough that Ken finally coughed. "Er, guys...."

Schuldig flipped him the bird. "If you can't handle the view, Ken, find somewhere else to be."

Louise sat up and groaned. "Actually, guys, if you don't mind, this is a good time for me to head on in. My back is killing me, and I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions all day. Ken, you can stay out if you want, I just need to lie down."

"No, I'll come in – do you mind if we leave the clearing up to you guys?"

"No," Omi said," we've got it. Louise, do you need help getting downstairs?"

She gave him a baleful look. "Omi, I may be the size of a house, but I can still get up and down in a lift. Yohji, thank you for the lovely meal. You can run all our barbecues from now on."

Yohji helped her stand and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "With pleasure, darling. You get a good night's sleep and tomorrow I'll pick up the lamp shade and towels you wanted."

"You're a sweetie, Yohji, you really are. If only I could have two husbands...." She sighed wistfully.

Ken glared, Schuldig choked with laughter and Omi blushed. "Perhaps we could come to some arrangement," Ran said solemnly, keeping his poker face on, but with difficulty.

"Ran!"

"Joke, Ken," Louise said with a laugh. "Still...."

"Louise!"

"Schatzi, don't tease the expectant father, they never have a sense of humour," Schuldig said dryly, but with a grin. "If you need any running around done, I'm happy to limp to your command tomorrow."

She made a face at him. "You're terrible, Schu. But I might need some shopping, if you're going out. Thanks guys, you're really helping us a lot."

"I think the hard bit is going to be up to you, Louise. Let me know if the pain gets unbearable – I can put a block on it, if you want."

"Thanks, but at the moment, I need to know what's going on with my body." She bent, gave him a kiss, and stood up rubbing her lower back. "It's good to have you back again. See you tomorrow."

As they left, Omi and Yohji got up and began to tidy up. Ran bagged up the rubbish as they collected the dirty dishes and glasses, before they quickly took the dirty dishes down to Yohji's flat to put them in the dishwasher. When they came back, Ran opened another bottle of red. All of them were watching how much they drank in case they were needed for a taxi run to the hospital, but they were still well within safe limits, and Ran was rather enjoying the South Australian Grenache that Schuldig had found from a review in The Australian.

Now the bench was free, they took it over, Omi sitting in front of them in a comfortable recliner. He took a sip of his refilled glass, then stretched and sighed. "It's so good to be back. I'm so glad I have a place to escape to – being in Canberra on my own all year round would make me crazy."

Schuldig lifted his glass. "And we would miss you, Miez, so don't even think about it."

Omi grinned. "Oh, I wouldn't dare. But I did want to talk to all of you before I raised the subject with Ken and Louise. Schu, you know that Eddie and Janelle Carter who are coming up in September to start in the unit? They have two small children, one who's five, the other's two. I mentioned the possibility of us renting a flat to them."

Schuldig shuddered. "God, more rugrats?"

"Er... well yes." Omi said, clearly disappointed at Schuldig's reaction. "Maybe I should just send them elsewhere."

"No, wait," Ran said. He could guess what Omi wanted to suggest. "You think we could give up the two top flats and let them have the garden?"

"Yes. My thought was that ASIO will pay some of the rent anyway, and it will be cheaper and safer than a house, and we would have fewer people to deal with for the same income. Since there's the shared foyer already, it would be plenty of room for them with the roof garden. I thought since Schu was going to be going up to you every weekend, and Yohji won't be there that much when his course finishes.... But if you're opposed to the idea, Schu.... I just thought Ken and Louise would like another young family around."

Omi looked at his wine glass, and Ran looked at Schuldig who seemed rather sheepish. "Well, if you put it that way, " he said slowly. "I suppose it doesn't make much difference which floor I live on if Ran and Yohji aren't here. But don't you mind giving up the garden, Liebling?"

"I already did, effectively. The main thing is, do you want to move and do you mind having three small children around the building?"

Yohji rested his chin on Schuldig's shoulder and looked at him. "It would be nice for Ken and Louise," he said quietly. "Since we won't be around."

"Omi, what are they like? Are they responsible people?" Ran asked, not wanting anyone antisocial or troublesome near his lover or his friends in their home.

"They're very nice – both scientists in their twenties. I met their five year old a few months ago – he's very well-behaved. For a child, that is. He's not going to be fitted with a volume control."

Schuldig groaned. "Gott in Himmel. You're turning this place into a crèche, Omi. Oh, all right. Do as you wish, it makes little difference to me, and I can always make their brains leak out their ears if they annoy me."

"Schu!"

"Just kidding, kitten. Anyway, I might get sick of playing researcher and come up with you two all the time, would you like that?"

"Of course we would," Ran answered. "You know you can go part-time any time you like."

"And then we could just have the one flat as a pied à terre," Omi said enthusiastically. "It's extravagant to have two when you and I are hardly going to be here, Schu."

"Yes, Omi, but what about those times when Ran and Yohji come to visit and you're here? Are you going to sleep in my lap?"

"Are you offering?" Omi asked sweetly.

Schuldig shook his head with a smile. "Of course, you little brat. Let's not get too ambitious. I like my space and I don't fancy strangers looking at me in my underwear if I leave the front door open. I thought Ken was going to use your flat as an office?"

"Well, he is, but that's just a luxury."

"I'm all for luxury, Omi. Then it's settled. I'll move, you pay for the labour, Omi, and the conversion. But what if these people move on? I'm not bouncing back and forth up the stairs for our bloody tenants."

"No, of course not, Schu. If they move and another family don't want the two flats, then they can be let separately again. I just don't want to reconvert the foyer because it's useful."

"I think it's a good idea," Ran said firmly. "Even if we end up sharing a single flat from time to time, it's no more crowded than the Koneko apartments were. It's not like we're strangers."

Yohji slid his arms around Ran and Schuldig's waists. "Far from it," he said in a low voice, the kind of voice Ran hadn't heard from him in nearly a year, one that promised hot, dirty sex. Ran wondered if he even knew he was doing it.

Omi certainly picked up the undertone, because he blushed. "Well, now that's settled, I think I might head in too. I want to check some emails, see if Jeffrey Walker's been in touch again."

"Is he still coming over?"

"He thinks so, yes."

"Maybe he'll fall madly in love with Andrew Jensen and the sticks will fall out of both their arses," Schuldig said, tossing off the rest of his wine and setting the glass down.

"Andy's a nice bloke," Yohji said, poking him. "I don't know why you all hate him. He's always been nice to me."

"I don't hate him either," Omi said, glaring at Schuldig. "And Jeffrey Walker's a decent man doing an excellent job. I know that kind of thing doesn't matter to some people...."

"Hey, it's not like I plan to make either of them drive their cars off Kangaroo Point," Schuldig said in a hurt tone of voice which was utterly fake, Ran knew perfectly well. "I just think they might have a lot in common."

"Sure you do," Omi said, scepticism clear in his voice. "I'm just glad you're not working with either of them on a regular basis. Right, goodnight everyone. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Omi, would you like to go up to Lone Pine on Sunday with us? I was going to ask Louise and Ken as well but she's really not feeling up to it now."

Omi looked delighted, if surprised, by Yohji's invitation. "I'd like that, Yohji. Thanks. If you don't mind me intruding."

"You could never intrude, Omi," Yohji said graciously. "But we'll see you tomorrow."

Omi waved, and left them alone. Yohji snuggled against Ran and Schuldig, pulling them closer with the arms he still had around them. "Now all the children have gone to bed...."

"You're a real cuddle bunny tonight, aren't you, Yohji," Schuldig said fondly, although Ran thought he could detect an infinitesimal amount of strain underneath the light tone.

"And why not? I've missed you, Schu, and Ran's been away all day. I had no one to play with," he said with a mournful look. "Now tell uncle Yohji what they've been doing to you in Canberra. You look so tired. What have you been up to?"

"Nothing exciting, Yohji. Just more testing, more recruitment. You don't need to know." Ran understood his reluctance to discuss it. He and Schuldig had fought a hard bitter battle to prevent Yohji being involved at all in what Schuldig was up to. The boffins had wanted to test Yohji extensively to find out more about the induced amnesia. Schuldig had pulled every threat in his armoury to make them back off, but promised full future cooperation if they did. Ran had added the inducement of offering to remain on standby, acting as a consultant as necessary, and as a test subject when required. Although ASIO had reluctantly agreed ,Ran, like Schuldig, remained suspicious and so they made every effort to keep Yohji as far from the world of paranormal research as they could. Ironically, his powers seemed to have been enhanced by his experiences – a little fact of which ASIO were so far unaware, and Omi planned to keep it that way. "And what about you? That was some meal you cooked, kitten. Maybe Ran should set up a restaurant instead of a plant nursery."

"Oh, that was nothing," Yohji said modestly – another characteristic of new Yohji which Ran found irresistibly charming. "I just followed a recipe."

"It was still very good, Yohji," Ran emphasised. "I thought it was an excellent combination of ingredients in that marinade."

"Oh. Thanks, Ran." He gave Ran an affectionate squeeze. "I owe all I know, all I can do, to you – all of you. I feel so lucky. Blessed almost."

"No, kitten, we're the lucky ones," Schuldig said, turning to Yohji and taking his hand. "I can't imagine my life without you."

"Nor I," Ran said. "Yohji, I've been mourning the old you, but I should stop because the person you are now has surpassed him. You have done so much in such a short time, and you have enriched all our lives."

"Aw, geez, you're making me blush," Yohji said, his face actually matching his words. "I'm just so happy. Was I this happy before? Because if I wasn't, I don't care about not remembering."

"No, Yotan, you weren't this happy," Schuldig said. "I miss the old Yohji sometimes too, because he was a good and generous person who took me in and saved my life. But I couldn't make that man happy, and I would have always regretted that."

"You did, you know you did," Ran protested. "There were good times, many of them, especially with the three of us."

Yohji seemed puzzled. "Good times, but I wasn't happy?"

"Always... a core of sadness, kitten. Pain that would not let you go. Like Ran, but you've helped Ran in that too. For that I could love you, even if I did not for yourself."

Schuldig rarely spoke so openly about his feelings, nor so seriously, and Ran wanted to kiss him for being so... loving, really, it was the only word. "And you, Schu? Do I help you?" Yohji asked earnestly.

Schuldig took the hand of Yohji's that he was holding and laid it against his own cheek. "Oh yes, kitten. You certainly do."

"Good, I don't want to drag you down." Schuldig made a small sound of protest, but Yohji just hugged him closer. "Guys, I uh...." He stuttered to a halt.

"Yohji?" Ran asked.

"Um...well, I've never done this before... at least, if I have, I don't remember... but would you uh...like to, um..."

"Kitten, do you need me to read your mind?" Schuldig teased.

Yohji whacked him on the hand. "Leave my mind alone. I just wanted...." He turned to look at Ran. "Would you like to... come to bed with me?"

Ran's heart skipped a beat in excitement, but he made himself be cautious. "Are you sure you're ready for that, Yohji?"

"No," Yohji said with a twisted grin. "My body sure wants it, but I'm just really nervous about screwing things up between us all."

Schuldig straightened up. "Kitten, perhaps you and Ran should...."

Ran reached across Yohji to grab Schuldig's arm. "No." He glared at Schuldig in irritation. "He means both of us."

"Yeah, I do. But if it's too soon, or you're not sure, hell, I can wait. I don't want to horn in on what you two have."

Ran moved closer against Yohji, the familiar feel, the familiar scent of his body against Ran's tugging at his most basic urges, driving up his desire, even though he hesitated, wanting to be sure Yohji knew what he was doing. "Why now?"

"I'm not sure. I guess... it's because Schu was away and I missed him so much, and I just want to be as close as I can to you. Because... I love you both and I don't think I could be more certain I want this."

"But you think you'll mess this up? Why?"

Yohji turned soulful eyes on Ran. "You said it yourself. You miss the old me, so does Schu. What if you always compare me with him, and I don't measure up? I want to give you everything you need, Ran, and Schu. What if I'm not enough?"

"I can't speak for Schu, but for me, you're always enough, Yohji. Yes, I miss the old you – but I remember him and that's enough. He belongs to a part of my life that I value because of what it taught me and what it made me. But you are part of my new life, and I'm part of yours. That's all I need." He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on Yohji's lips. "And I love you now as I love you then."

"I love you too," Yohji murmured before turning away and looking at Schuldig. "Schu? If you really can't handle it being the three of us, I'll understand. It's not like I'll die if I don't have sex with the two of you."

Schuldig grimaced. "Oh kitten, you worry about not being enough for me? You have no idea how ironic I find that. Like Ran, you're all I want. But I'm nowhere near good enough for you."

Yohji grabbed his chin carefully. "That's really not for you to decide, you know. I like to think I'm at least as fussy as Ran and he's perfectly content with you."

"But that's...."

"A perfectly valid point, Schu," Ran said emphatically. "I certainly hope you're not going to cast aspersions on my taste or intelligence, because you know how much I dislike that." He gave Schuldig one of his fiercest glares.

Schuldig gave him a queasy smile. "No, Liebling, I wouldn't dream of that. But aren't you worried about Yohji, knowing what I am?"

"Not even for a microsecond. I can't think of anyone with whom he'd be safer or more cared for. Could you possibly drop this now, Schu? Because you're never ever going to convince me or him."

Yohji was watching them in silence. "I really don't know why you're so hard on yourself, Schu. You're the kindest person and fantastic company. Unless you have some hideous physical deformity I don't know about, I don't know why anyone would turn you away. But.... do you two want to think about it? Maybe talk about it?"

Schuldig looked at Ran and nodded. "Perhaps a good idea, kitten. Shall we see you tomorrow?"

"Of course." He gave each of them a chaste kiss, untangled his arms and stood up. "Just so you know, I can handle rejection. I'm not going to crumble into dust."

"Good night, Yohji," Ran said, hiding his disappointment behind a polite smile. "And thank you for dinner."

"My pleasure. 'Night."

Ran waited until they were alone before turning to his lover and glaring. "I could spank you sometimes, Schuldig."

"Oooh, sweetheart, you say the dirtiest things."

He was really annoyed and refused to engage in the teasing. "And you said the stupidest things. You want him, I want him, he wants us. What could you possibly want us to talk about?"

Schuldig stood up, leaning on his stick. "Look at me, Ran. I'm crippled, I've got a past that would make him sick...."

"So do I, Schu," Ran snapped. "And Yohji is fully aware of your physical condition. Is this just vanity?"

"No." Schuldig turned sharply and limped over to the wall so he could lean on it and look out to the distant passing traffic and the river. "I don't know, Ran. I want it, and yet I'm afraid of it. You and Yohji are the most important, the best things that have ever happened to me, and I can't afford to have it go wrong. I can't survive it. I can survive Estet and a skull fracture, but if this goes sour because of something I do, I'll put a gun to my head and I mean that in all sincerity."

Schuldig was such a stubborn son of a bitch when he got like this, Ran thought ruefully, sighing as he got to his feet and went to Schuldig's side to put his arm around him. "Schu. Please. Whatever happens, I need you, and if you say I've got Yohji I will do you a physical injury. You feed different parts of me, you know that. He needs both of us, you need both of us, so do I. Stop fighting it. Please? You'd make me happy if you gave in."

Schuldig turned a little. "Would I? Honestly? Are you sure you don't just want Yohji to yourself?"

"I will do you a physical injury, I'm warning you."

Schuldig smiled and leaned his forehead against Ran's. "All right. Tomorrow night we'll give him his answer. Okay?"

"Yes. Thank you." He reached up and kissed his taller lover. "I'd like a shower. Want to have one with me?"

Schuldig hugged him for an answer. "Sounds like a plan."

Ran grabbed the sack of rubbish and they went downstairs. Yohji's door was shut, somewhat to Ran's disappointment, as he'd been hoping that as Yohji often did, he would leave it open in case either of them wanted to drop over. He just hoped Schuldig's qualms were now laid to rest because he desperately wanted to be intimate with Yohji, to regain that last thing that he needed for his life to be whole. He had waited patiently for months. He could wait patiently for more – but he hoped he didn't need to.

Showering together needed a little more care than it used to, since Schuldig had to be careful not to slip on his weak leg, but they had had a lot of practice now, so with the ease of long habit, Ran helped him strip and get into the shower stall. "Let me wash your hair?"

Schuldig laughed. "If you want, Liebling. You and your fetishes."

"I can't help it if it's so nice to touch," Ran murmured, running his fingers through the short locks. Finally, finally, it was getting to a respectable length. Schuldig swore he was going to buy a wig in case he lost it all again. Ran was just going to make sure he wasn't in a position to need it.

Schuldig sat on the stool they'd put there just for this purpose, and clasped Ran comfortably around the waist as Ran wet his flame coloured hair. As Ran began to apply the shampoo to it, he gasped. Schuldig's teeth had found a nipple convenient and took advantage. He looked down and found Schuldig looking back innocently. "You're dangerous," Ran growled.

"Hmm, you're tasty. And I never got my dessert."

"I hope that's not some sickly way of saying I'm sweet," Ran said severely, trying to not to show how turned on Schuldig was making him, and to continue doing a decent job of washing his hair.

"Would I dream of such a thing?" Schuldig said.

"I'm sure you would, just to annoy me. Schu!" he yelped as he got a slightly sharp nip. "You bastard!"

"Sorry, Liebling," he said insincerely, "just a little carried away. Come back."

"No more biting."

"No, I promise."

Ran glared at him suspiciously. "Better not or I'll get soap in your eyes."

Looking as though butter would stay frozen solid in his mouth, Schuldig hooked him around the waist and drew him close again. "I'll be good."

"Hmph." Ran rinsed Schuldig's hair quickly and then turned the water off so he could towel it dry. He found it restful, performing such ordinary, intimate tasks for his lovers. It made him feel closer to Schuldig, and fed his soul in a way he didn't really understand. Yohji probably could have explained it to him once.

Schuldig sat meekly as Ran tended to him, which was never a good sign, because it usually meant his lover was planning some mischief. As he bent to pick up the conditioner, he half expected to be goosed – and when he wasn't, he turned around and glared at Schuldig.

"What?" Schuldig blinked innocently.

He'd been had again. "Never mind."

"You know that stuff makes good lube."

"Only if you want your anus to sting like hell for days." Schuldig raised an eyebrow. "Once with Yohji... it's not a good idea, okay?"

Schuldig pouted. "Facts take all the fun out of sex."

"So does a stinging anus, Schu, and since you've been gone for three weeks, I want to have sex more than once with you in the next few days."

Schuldig cupped Ran's buttocks and gave them a squeeze. "Oh, I think more than once is on the agenda," he purred, rubbing his face against Ran's belly, the very slight rasp of his beard tickling deliciously. He asked for the shower head, and while Ran was massaging the sandalwood scented conditioner into this hair, Schuldig played water over Ran's body and then began to soap him thoroughly, making sure no particle of dirt lingered in any of Ran's intimate parts – especially in his intimate parts. Ran wriggled as a soapy finger explored his backside thoroughly. "I thought... you were... going to be good!" he gasped. "Schu...."

"What, Ran? It's only hygiene. It's not like I haven't put it there before."

"No... but ....how many minutes ...oh fuck!" He forgot all semblance of dignity or how long he was supposed to leave the damn conditioner on as he humped into Schuldig's hand that had wrapped itself around his cock, rocking back on Schuldig's finger and digging his own into Schuldig's scalp as he was mercilessly and skilfully manipulated into a thunderous orgasm. "Schu! Fuck!" he cried as he came all over Schuldig's chest, needing to use the wall to support himself as his body lost all control. "Oh gods."

"Was that okay then, Liebling?"

"You know it was, you idiot. I missed you. It's been too long. "

"My thoughts exactly," Schuldig said smugly, picking up the shower head and quickly rinsing away all traces of Ran's passion, and of the lingering soap, and then tugging Ran down for a kiss. "But there's more where that came from, pun intended."

"I hope so." Still a little weak-kneed, Ran rinsed the conditioner off Schuldig's hair, and then towelled it again, finger combing the soft strands into order. He played warm water over Schuldig's body, then turned it off and knelt before his lover, taking the soap and cloth to wash him.

Schuldig tilted his head back, one hand in his hair. "You know you don't need to do this for me, Ran."

"But you know I want to. Can I?"

"If you really want to, Liebling."

"Thank you." Schuldig always had to make a little protest, probably to preserve his dignity but Ran just loved any excuse to touch his lean muscled body, or to have it against his own. Looking at it now as he soaped the long legs with their fine golden hairs, he wondered how Schuldig could think his slight disability would disgust anyone. Of the three of them, he was the least battered now, ironically – his many scars, a mixture of old and new, were still less livid than Ran's own, and less extensive than Yohji's. Schuldig had also been working out to ensure he kept fit despite a long period of reduced mobility, and his legs and arms now bore new definition without appearing over bulky. Ran slid a finger through the soapy film on Schuldig's left calf, down to his foot. He and Yohji were so fine-boned for such tall men, and both had long, narrow, very pretty feet. He lifted Schuldig's foot and paid it close attention, soaping carefully between each toe and massaging the ball of the foot.

"Enjoying yourself, Ran?"

He looked up and found Schuldig was amused. "Sorry."

"I'm not," Schuldig said with a luxuriant sigh. "Feels fabulous. I just feel a little guilty sitting here like some damned pasha with you down there."

"Perhaps it would be more comfortable in bed. On the other hand...." Ran turned around and found himself face to face with the evidence of Schuldig's desire, and since there was no reason at all to resist the natural temptation to put his mouth to good use, he did so. He felt Schuldig's hands tangle in his hair as he began to suck and lick the velvety head of Schuldig's cock, wrapping a hand around it so he could suck and stroke at the same time. Schuldig's fingers dug into his scalp, but not too painfully, not that Ran really minded Schuldig being a little rough. He thought it was time to find the collar and cuffs again and encourage his lover to stop being so careful with him.

He tried to make it slow for Schuldig, but his lover had been deprived for as long as he had, and was just as eager. It took very little time until Schuldig's cock pulsed against the roof of his mouth and his mouth was flooded with the taste of Schuldig's climax. He suckled a second or two longer but then set him free, knowing Schuldig disliked being over-stimulated. He rested his head against Schuldig's crotch, enjoying the clean smell and the warm feel of his skin against his face, the bright gold curls springy under his cheek. "Okay?" he murmured.

[More than. Thank you. Aren't you tired of kneeling?]

[I'm Japanese, Schu. I can handle it.]

Schuldig 'chuckled', and then tugged on his hair gently to make him stand up. "Maybe so, but I like looking at you. Now am I clean and are you clean?"

"Let me do your back. Stand up."

He got a little revenge for the soapy finger with one of his own, making Schuldig squirm with pleasure, but he didn't dally over his task, and in a couple of minutes the water was off for good and he was towelling Schuldig down. "You really don't have to do things for me like this... oh, okay," Schuldig said with a grin as Ran glared at him. "One would never suspect your inner harem slave, that's all."

"I've told you before. I like beautiful things. And your body is one of those."

"You're just weird, Ran."

"Oh, that's just so rich coming from you." He cupped Schuldig's chin and kissed him. "Bed?"

"Oh yes."

Ran went to the living room, intending to turn off the lights and check everything was tidy – and stopped short when he saw Yohji sitting on the sofa. "Uh... Yohji?"

Schuldig was just behind him. "Oops," he said quietly.

Ran heard him move away, perhaps to get a dressing gown, but he felt no need to cover up. Yohji had, after all, seen him naked before, even if he didn't remember it – and by the look on his face, he certainly didn't. "Is something wrong?"

"Uh...no. Shit, sorry, you're on your way to bed." Yohji stood up, clearly embarrassed at Ran's nudity. For that reason, Ran was glad to feel his bathrobe being slipped onto his shoulders, and he pulled it around him and tied it without haste.

"It's okay. What's up?"

Ran came over and sat down on the armchair. Schuldig perched on one of the breakfast bar stools. Yohji remained standing, and ran his hand through his hair in a familiar gesture of frustration. "I...um, I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't think you'd be going to bed this early...I'll come back in the morning...."

"No, kitten, stay. If you want to talk to Ran...."

"I want to talk to you – both of you, really, but Schu most of all." He sat down suddenly and stared over at Schuldig. "I realised... you probably think I'm having second thoughts... but I'm not. When I got back inside, all I could think about was being with you both and how much I wanted that, and I just wanted to say...look, Schu, if there's something about me you don't like, just say it. But there's nothing about you that bothers me, and I don't give a damn about the past or what happened. I know it must have been rough – hell, I've only got to look at my own body to know that. I don't care. I just want you – both of you. And... and...I'm not leaving until you decide." He twisted his hands nervously in his lap, but his face was set in determination.

Schuldig arched an eyebrow at Ran. "Well, Liebling, we have an ultimatum. Have we made that decision?"

Ran stood, untied his belt and let the bathrobe fall to the floor. "There's no decision to make." He came and knelt before Yohji. I'm yours, Yohji, I always have been." He laid his head on Yohji's lap. "Please stay."

"Ran...."

"Yes, Yohji, stay." Now Schuldig also discarded his bathrobe, and using the furniture, made his way to the sofa, sitting on the arm and leaning against Yohji. "Please, kitten. I was wrong to put you off."

"Really? Oh, gods, I'm so happy!" Ran lifted his head and saw Yohji's shining face, a breathtakingly bright smile on his lips. "I was so worried you were going to tell me to go away."

Schuldig put his arm around Yohji. "No,Liebchen. We want you. The only question is – your place or mine?"

"Yours?" Yohji said hesitantly.

Ran now noticed that Yohji had changed his clothing and he smelled freshly bathed – he really had been afraid of rejection. He stood and took Yohji's hand. "We were just going to bed – if you just want to sleep, that's okay... but if you don't...?"

Yohji's eyes were dark-pupilled with what Ran instantly recognised as intense arousal. "Um, sleep... after?"

Schuldig's face split into a huge grin. "Exactly my thoughts, kitten."

Yohji stood and helped Schuldig stand also. "Er, you'll be patient, right? I mean, technically, this is my first time... and I really don't have any idea what I'm doing."

Ran couldn't help it – he threw his head back and laughed. "What's so funny, sweetheart?"

"Yohji the virgin," he gasped. "Gods, if Ken...no, let's not tell Ken. Don't worry, Yohji, we'll be gentle," he said, as Yohji hooked an arm around him and pulled him close. "After all, you taught me everything I know."

"Then I hope I was a good teacher," Yohji said, kissing him on the lips.

"You were. But now you are the pupil and in our hands, okay?" Schuldig said, stealing a kiss in turn.

"Sounds fine to me. What's the first lesson?"

"Lesson one – clothes come off."

Yohji grinned. "Ah, that one I figured out by myself."

"Maybe so, but Ran, I think our student might like some assistance."

Laughing, Yohji endured being efficiently stripped. "Well," he asked when the two of them were done, stepping back and holding his arms out. "Do I pass?"

Schuldig appeared to consider, his fingers on his lips. "Hmmm. Ran?"

"Best in show," Ran said solemnly, feeling laughter bubbling up in his chest again. He felt so light hearted and free, like he was drunk on champagne. "And do we meet with your approval, Kurosawa-san?"

Yohji gathered them both into his arms. "You look like someone ate you and spat you out," he answered honestly," just like I do – but even with the scars, you're both fucking gorgeous. I keep expecting to wake up and find I imagined all this."

"No, it's real," Ran assured him seriously. "Even if it's a miracle. Now... lesson two is that sex can happen anywhere," he said, taking Yohji's hand and leading him towards the bedroom, "but a good bed is hard to beat."

"Lesson three is that our Ran likes his home comforts as much as you do, kitten, but he'll never admit it."

Yohji sat on the bed and smiled up at the two of them. "I'm not ashamed to say I like a comfortable bed." He lay back on it, but then sat up in surprise. "It feels the same as mine. I mean, Ran's."

Schuldig laughed. "I'll explain later, Yohji." He sat down next to him and took Yohji's hand. "Now, Liebchen, you don't remember anything – but are you curious about anything? Anything you want to try first?"

Yohji looked a little shy at the question. "Um... well, not really. What do I like?"

"Everything," Ran said emphatically.

Yohji laughed. "Oh, right, so I was like that. Okay – then, what do you like?"

"The same," Schuldig said simply. "Watching you enjoy yourself is the biggest thrill."

"Hmmm... watching...sounds good."

Ran sat down on Yohji's other side, and kissed his neck. "Not as good as touching," he whispered, running his hand down Yohji's chest, and down to his cock which was already perking up. Yohji gasped a little as Ran touched it, but the sound was quickly muffled as Schuldig covered his mouth with his own and bore Yohji down to the bed, tangling his hands in Yohji's hair and staking claim to the upper half of Yohji's body.

Which was fine, because Ran loved every inch of Yohji and he could make do easily with what Schuldig had left him to work with. He climbed over Yohji's legs and sat between them, spreading them wide so he could admire the sight of his beautiful cock, jutting up from dark blond curls. He had missed it, as he had missed everything about Yohji and their life together, but now they were embarking on a new life, and Ran wanted to christen it in the most perfect way. He cupped Yohji's balls gently and wrapped a hand around his cock, but didn't do anything else, not sure what would be best for someone who was, as he said, technically completely new to this. He remembered his first time with Yohji, and how tender and patient he had been with a virginal, rather suspicious Ran. At least Yohji trusted them, that much was obvious, and his body wasn't new to this, even if his memories were.

"Are you just going to look?"

Yohji was smiling at him, Schuldig lying next to him with a smug expression. "Why not? It's worth looking at." He gave Yohji's cock a little pump, nothing to get him too excited, more a promise of things to come. "Yohji, there's a position which you used to like a lot. Can I try that?"

"Anything you want, love. I'm all yours."

[Ran?]

Ran sent Schuldig a mental picture of what he had in mind. [I thought this would be easiest. Prepare me, Schu?]

[Of course.]

Schuldig reached behind him for the lube on the side table. "What should I do?" Yohji asked with a slight hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"Just watch, kitten. Ran, bring that gorgeous bottom over here."

Ran stood and walked around the bed, letting them get a good eyeful of his body and his erection before lying over Yohji's body across his hips, leaving his backside exposed to their gaze. "Like this?"

"Perfect, Ran."

Yohji was boggle-eyed, his cock rigid against Ran's stomach. Hesitantly, he put his hand on Ran's back, making Ran shiver in pleasure at the touch, and then Ran gasped softly as he felt Schuldig's more confident fingers at his anus, stroking cool gel into him. Yohji began to pet him gently and Ran turned his head to get a better look at him. "That feels good," he said with feeling. He had missed this so much, he could have cried for happiness.

"What does, love?"

"All of it. Your hand, his hand."

"You like being touched?"

"Ran is a total whore for physical contact, Yohji."

Ran twisted to look at him over his shoulder. "You're not so different, Schu."

"No, Liebling, but I'm not so hungry as you."

Which was probably true. Ran wriggled with pleasure as Schu stretched him with care and skill, but then jerked with surprise as he felt another hand – and another finger – join in. He looked over at Yohji again, who seemed a little worried. "Okay?"

"Yes, it's fine, keep going."

As he was stretched even more, and two long fingers played in his ass, he spread his legs, eager for the stimulation and wanting more. "Careful, Ran," Schuldig said. "Don't be greedy."

"But I want it," he said, slightly aghast at the almost whiny tone in his voice. "Ohhhh...." Another finger went in, sparking off fireworks behind his eyelids.

"Doesn’t that hurt?" Yohji asked.

"N...not at all....oh...." [Please, Schu, stop or I'll come.]

[But you look so pretty all splayed out there with your arse for the taking.]

[You can take it later, but I want to do this for him, okay?]

Even so, he almost groaned as he felt the fingers withdraw – they had felt so good. As he sat up, he found Yohji staring at him. "You're so beautiful," he said huskily, raising a hand to touch Ran's face.

Ran bent over and kissed Yohji, cupping the back of his head. "Goes both ways, Yohji." Gods, he loved this man. It was almost beyond all sense how much he needed him and had missed him. Now he was complete.

Schuldig gave him a kiss too, smiling. [You look so happy.]

[I've found my home again, Schu, with both of you.]

[Yes, as have I. You can kick my arse for being an idiot tomorrow.]

[I've got better ideas for your arse, Schu.] Schuldig grinned.

Ran climbed on the bed and straddled Yohji's legs. "Now the reason you like this," he said with a reassuring smile, "is that you get to watch and you don't need to do any work."

Yohji cocked his head, clearly puzzled. "Was I that lazy in bed?"

"No, kitten, he's only teasing." Schuldig put more lube on his palm, and then began to stroke Yohji's cock slowly. "Do you like that?"

Yohji clutched at the bed with clawed fingers. "Oh, gods," he groaned as he tried to thrust up into Schuldig's hand. "You guys are killing me."

"Not yet," Schuldig said cheerfully.

He rolled a condom onto Yohji's cock, lubed him some more and then sat back. Ran rose up onto his knees, and as Yohji realised what he was going to do, his eyes grew wide. "Be careful, Ran, you'll hurt yourself."

Ran only smiled. "I don't think so, Yohji."

He lowered himself carefully onto Yohji's long cock with a sigh of pleasure. Yohji moaned. "Oh gods...Ran....oh gods...."

"Yes, we have attained incoherency in zero point oh oh five seconds," Schuldig said. He climbed up behind Ran and pushed Yohji's legs apart, nuzzling behind Ran's ear as he put one hand on Ran's erection, his other arm reaching across his chest so Schuldig could play with one of Ran's nipples. "Nice and slow, Ran, we don't want to fry his circuits," he whispered.

[I really hate backseat drivers, Schuldig.]

[Sorry, sweetheart, but look at his face – all his Christmases have come at once.]

[I don't care about Christmases, but it would be nice if we did. Schu, open the connection between us? Let him feel, let me feel?]

[Is he ready for that?]

[It's part of you, part of us. He needs to know, and I want him to know. I want us all to feel this.]

[All right.] "Yohji, brace yourself."

"Huh?" And then Yohji gasped, his hand reaching out for help as his mind was flooded with Ran's thoughts, and Ran's with his. Ran grabbed Yohji's seeking hands and concentrated, using his body to make love to Yohji's, as his mind reached out and touched his two lovers' thoughts. He was used to this, but even he was overwhelmed, after so long, by the intensity of Yohji's pleasure and his love, even his confusion at what was happening. But then he felt Schuldig there too, calming Yohji, stroking his thoughts gently, easing his fear and helping him accept the gift of Schuldig's telepathy. The stimulation of Yohji's cock in him was secondary to Yohji's love filling his mind, his thoughts, Yohji's desire for them and his gratitude and his need for them, still afraid a little in a world that hid so many secrets from him.

He came back to himself as Yohji came, the orgasm crashing through him and then doubling as his own hit. He fell forward into Yohji's arms, utterly discombobulated, but then another wave of climax rippled through him and he realised that Schuldig had come also, just from feeling Yohji and his own orgasms. Schuldig collapsed against his back, and for several minutes, they lay on top of Yohji, not talking, just trying to get their breath back.

Finally Yohji reached up a shaky hand to brush back Ran's long hair away from his face, for which Ran was grateful because he doubted he could have mustered the energy to do it himself. "I've read about mind blowing sex but I didn't realise they meant it literally. What the hell was all that and is it always like that with you guys?"

"It's Schu and not always. But sometimes. Why, was it too much?" Ran asked lazily, feeling astonishingly comfortable for being the meat in a human sandwich.

"No...no... it was amazing. I could feel you, me, my body, yours... Schu, I had no idea you could do that."

Ran felt Schuldig chuckle. "Well, it's one of the few benefits of my gift that seems to have no downside. I'm glad to give it to you, kitten. So, you enjoyed your first time?"

"Shit yeah." Ran laughed – it was such an Australian expression, one Yohji must have picked up recently. "Thank you."

Ran kissed him. "We surely don't need to tell you it was our pleasure, Yohji."

"No, I figured that out." He combed his fingers gently through Ran's hair. Do you think this will work, Ran? It's not exactly an typical relationship."

Ran felt the rumble of Schuldig's laughter again. "Yohji, it never was. Nothing about Weiss is typical, but yet it works." He snuggled closer, perfectly happy to sleep where he was, and so he whined a little when he felt Schuldig move away from him. "I was comfortable, Schu."

"Yes, my darling, but you're going to end up glued to Yohji and I to you, and if you don't mind, I'd rather not have Omi have to come in and lever us apart in the morning." Yohji laughed at the image. "Come on, sweetheart, clean up and let's get down to some serious cuddling. I've missed that more than the sex."

Ran let himself be urged up. "More?" he asked sceptically.

"Well, maybe as much." Schuldig turned him to look at Yohji, who was still sprawled, semen covered, dazed and happy looking on the bed. "Ah, aren't they cute when they're asleep?"

Yohji raised his middle finger at him in a slightly unenthusiastic bird. "I can't move."

"It's all right, kitten. You cooked, so I'll wash up."

Ran sprawled back on the bed. "I helped cook too."

Schuldig grinned. "So you did. Warm cloths for two coming up."

As he left, Yohji kissed the top of Ran's head. "Welcome back," Ran murmured.

"Tadaima," Yohji whispered. "I'm home."

Yes, at last you are, Ran thought contentedly.

"Ken."

"Mmpfh."

"Ken, wake up."

Ken turned his head and looked at his wife blearily, squinting in the glare of her bedside light. "Wha'?"

"You need to get Omi."

"Huh?"

"Ken, wake up and call Omi. The baby's coming."

He hauled himself up with the handle and peered at her face, which was scrunched up in discomfort." Are you sure, love? It's not those Braxton-Hicks things again?"

"No," she said through gritted teeth. "It feels different."

"But...."

"And besides, my water's broken. So will you please call him?"

"Holy shit! Shit!" He almost fell out of bed getting into the chair.

"Ken! Calm down!"

"But the water's broken, the baby's coming!"

"Yes, but not this very second. Just get Omi." She lay back against the pillows, a look of pain on her face.

Ken wheeled himself as fast as he could to the intercom, and pressed the number of Omi's flat, swearing when his call wasn't picked up immediately. But in a few seconds, a sleepy Omi was asking him what was going on. A much less sleepy Omi assured him, once Ken had said the fateful words, "Lou's in labour," that he would be down in a minute. Ken raced back into the bedroom, switching on the overhead light and then going to Louise's side to take her hand. "God, Lou, are you okay? Are you sure the baby won't come now?"

"Ken, I think it'll be fine." She shifted again in pain. "Where's Omi?"

"On his way, love." He felt so helpless – he couldn't lift her or shift her. "What can I do?"

She smiled at him, although her mouth was tight. "Just stay with me, Ken."

"Scared?"

"Terrified."

He heard the front door open, and then Omi was at their side. "Louise? You're sure?"

"Water's broken, Omi."

"Okay. The others will be here in a second. Ken, call the hospital, tell them her water's broken, she's coming in by private car, and ask them what she needs to do, if anything. Louise, is your bag packed?"

"All ready, Ken knows where. Omi, I'm all wet."

She sounded scared to death, and humiliated too. "It's okay, love. It's only water, and it means our kid's on her way."

"His," she said automatically, grinning a little at their usual game. "Make the call, Ken."

He called from the living room, grateful that Omi, as was his usual way, had everything organised and planned and rehearsed, and that all the important numbers were right there by the phone. He was just hanging up when Ran and the others came in. "Where is she? How is she?" Ran asked, his calm, efficient demeanour a balm on Ken's panicky emotions.

"In there and her water's broken."

Yohji laid a hand on Ken's shoulder. "It's okay, Ken. We'll make sure she get there."

"Thanks, Yohji." He followed them back into the bedroom. "Lou, they want you to have a light meal, toast or something like that and a shower."

"God, I don't feel like eating, Ken."

"I know, hon. Just some toast?"

She nodded reluctantly. "Yohji, sort that out, please," Ran ordered, taking over as if this was just another Weiss mission. Which it was, in a way.

Schuldig took Louise's hand. "How bad, Schatzi?"

"Not great, on and off."

"Okay, remember to breathe." She closed her eyes, and then her face relaxed a little. "There, is that better?"

"Oh yes, thank you. Omi, can you get me a towel, please?"

Omi went off to find it and Ken got her a clean night gown. Omi helped her into the shower, and waited outside for her until she was done. The older men waited discreetly in the living room until they were needed. When she got out of the shower, Yohji brought her some toast which she nibbled unenthusiastically. She managed to finish a single piece, drank the juice he brought her and pushed the plate away. "The mattress is a mess," she said sadly.

"Omi will look after that, love, you've got something much more important to do. Are you ready to go? Is there anything not in the bag?"

"Just my purse, can you look after that?"

"Sure. Ran?"

Everyone trooped in from the living room, Yohji bringing Ken's spare wheelchair from the other apartment. Louise was carefully helped from the bed into the chair. Ran took charge once more. "Yohji, you and Schu come with me and Louise in our car. Omi, you go with Ken in his, follow behind. Don't speed – we want everyone there in one piece. Everyone clear? Good, let's move."

"I'll be right behind you, Lou," Ken said as he watched Yohji push the wheelchair out.

"You listen to Ran and don't you dare have an accident, Ken. I'll see you in a few minutes." She made Yohji stop so she and Ken could have a brief kiss.

"I love you."

"Same here. Let's go, Yohji."

"We'll take good care of her, Ken."

Omi waited until they were clear and then collected Louise's bag. "You should take a change of clothes, Ken – you might need to stay the night."

Ken agreed and Omi quickly packed a small backpack with what he needed. "All right, we're ready."

Ken put his hand on Omi's arm. "Wait – she's worried about the bed."

"Right, let me." Omi stripped the bed efficiently and put towels on the mattress. "I'll turn it later, make sure it's aired. She'll come home to a clean one or a new one, I promise."

"Thanks. God, Omi, I don't think I can drive."

"Then we'll take my car. Don’t worry, Ken."

Ken was incredibly grateful for Omi's calm efficiency – he himself felt dazed, even with all the preparation, and for all Louise's careful arrangement of the hospital she wanted to go to and her birth plan. Omi loaded the car with the suitcase, helped Ken into the front seat and put the wheelchair in the back. "I don't know what I would have done without you guys – look at my hands." He held them out – they were shaking like leaves.

Omi grinned. "It's only because we're here that you're falling apart, Ken. If you had to do it on your own, you'd be cold as ice. Don't worry about it – that's what we're here for. Okay, let's get moving."

Omi drove them with quiet, efficient care through the night time streets – it was four in the morning so there were only a handful of cars and street sweeping machines to impede them. Ken was glad it wasn't up to him to drive Louise to hospital – Ran was indisputably their best and most careful driver and she wouldn't be safer in the back of an ambulance. Ken just hoped that she was right that the baby wasn't imminent.

They were at the Mater Hospital in a matter of minutes. Schuldig was waiting for them, and while Omi found a place to park, he took Ken to the maternity section. Ran and Yohji were waiting for them. "She's being examined – you can go in soon. I've given them her details, but they need you to fill out a form."

Ken hastily did what was needed and then waited impatiently for the midwife to come and collect him. He found his wife sitting in a large comfortable looking chair and appearing a lot less strained. She smiled in relief as she saw him. "Oh good, you got here safely."

"Omi drove. I was too nervous," he admitted.

"Don't blame you." She squeezed his hand. "Not long to go now."

"Did they say how long?"

"They don't know for sure. They'll have to intervene after twenty four hours if the baby's not born by then." She winced. "Bugger."

"Is it very bad?" Ken knew the theory of contractions, but had no idea what they felt like.

"No, it's okay. Schu took the edge off it."

"Is he still monitoring you?"

"Yeah, I asked him to. They're in the waiting room. This could take a while, Ken."

"I know, love, it's okay."

Holy fuck, he was going to be a daddy.

"Ken's freaking out," Schuldig said with amusement. "It's a bit late to be having second thoughts, don't you think?"

Omi wagged his finger at him. "You give them their privacy, Schu. Of course he's nervous. That doesn't mean he wants to stop this happening – that baby is very much wanted."

"Yes, I know, Omi. I just think it's funny."

"Schu," Yohji said. "Don't be a bastard to the poor guy."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again." Schuldig yawned. "It's either too late or too early for this."

"You guys could go home. This could take all day," Omi said, but Schuldig shook his head.

"I promised Louise I would monitor her pain levels, keep them manageable so she can avoid drugs if possible – and keep Ken from flipping out too badly. I'm staying."

Yohji stuck his legs out and slung an arm over Schuldig's shoulder. "Well, then, I'm staying too."

"Me too," Ran said firmly. "Yohji, we're in public."

"Oh, I forgot, "Yohji said with a sheepish grin, removing his arm. Schuldig gave him a warm smile, and Ran couldn't stop the memories of what they'd been up to a few hours before, sending a tingle of heat through him.

Omi looked at them all curiously, and then blushed. "Do I, ah, take it that you've...?"

"Yes, Omi," Schuldig said solemnly. "We've finally fucked."

"Schu!" Ran hissed. "It's a public waiting room!"

"Sorry, Ran."

"So...that means Ken owes me fifty dollars," Omi said happily.

Yohji seemed confused. Ran wasn't. "You traitor," he fumed.

"Oh come on, Ran – you guys have been over more hurdles than an Olympic gold medallist, so you can't blame us. We've been right behind you, you know that."

"Yes, so you could stab us in the back."

"Wait," Yohji said. "They've been betting on us making love?"

"Yes, the dirty little rats." Ran was disgusted.

"Then I want a performance fee. Twenty percent."

"Times three," Schuldig said. "It's only fair, Omi."

"But that's...."

"In advance," Ran said, holding out his hand. "Or I'll tell Louise what you and her husband have been up to."

Omi's face fell. "You wouldn't."

"Bloody would," Schuldig said cheerfully. "Pay up, squirt."

Omi reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "It's extortion."

"No worse than an illegal betting operation, Omi. They don't like that kind of thing in Queensland, you know that." Ran took the three ten dollar bills gracelessly slapped into his palm and put them into his own wallet. "Thank you. That'll pay for a nice bottle of champagne, I think, to wet the baby's head."

"Huh. Well, if you guys are staying, I'll go and take over later. I need to sort out their bed and make sure the place is okay to be left for a couple of days. I better call her parents and let them know too. Call me if there's any news, and I'll be back after noon."

"That's fine, Omi. I'll give you a call at twelve, and update you."

Omi nodded and left them to it. "Cheeky brat," Ran muttered, still annoyed.

"Oh, lighten up, Liebling, it's only a bit of fun, and you have to admit, they've been great."

"I don't understand, Ran. Why are you so pissed off?" Yohji said, patting the seat next to him.

Ran accepted the invitation. "I suppose it's too important to me to make fun of."

"Ran, nothing's too important that you can't see the funny side of it. And now... well, what harm can it do?" Schuldig said fondly, looking at Yohji. "Let them have their wager – we're the real winners."

"Yes, I suppose we are."

Yohji clapped his hands. "Right, now that's sorted out and since we're set for the long haul... who wants coffee?"

It had been a long day. Longer for Louise he knew, since she couldn't even sleep. Most of the day, she'd been walking around, drinking water, trying to get comfortable. The room itself was quiet and dimly lit, very relaxing, he thought. The midwife, Magda, who Ken had met before, was a cheerful young woman who fully supported Louise's plan to avoid using drugs, although she naturally didn't know what paranormal pain relief was available to his wife. Ken wasn't sure how much Schuldig was doing for her – she said she didn’t know either. Some women didn't have such a bad time of it. It was just boring and tiring, he found, and so did she. Still, he wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

He had to leave her a few times, to get coffee or something to eat – and every time he did, he found Ran or Yohji waiting for him, asking if there was anything he needed, or that Louise needed. He was touched by their devotion, and it was useful – they could fetch him better food than what was in the machines near the unit, and it just helped knowing they were near by. He felt bad that they thought they needed to hang around because of Schuldig, but suggestions that they could go home were firmly brushed aside. "Anything you have to go through, we will too," Ran said.

Louise went into transition labour about two o'clock. The pain was now more constant, and Ken let his hand be squeezed until it was black and blue when the contractions hit. She wasn't moving around so much now, and Ken could tell she was getting scared again. But whenever she seemed to get to the point of it being too much, she would suddenly relax and smile, and then Ken knew that Schuldig had done something to help.

He was going to buy the man a crate of his favourite whisky when this was all over – and then help him drink it.

Schuldig informed them that Louise was in the next stage of labour, and then he sat curled up in the corner of the seat, his eyes half closed, lost in concentration. Ran and Yohji didn't speak, just watching their lover in concern. Schuldig looked tired – he'd been closely monitoring Louise's condition all day, smoothing out, as he described it, the peaks and troughs of her pain just slightly, although he said she was managing most of it herself. That kind of extended, focussed use of his telepathy took a lot of energy, Ran knew, and he hoped Louise would not take too long to have her child. All he and Yohji could do was keep Ken and Schuldig fed and watered and supported.

Omi arrived not long after Schuldig made his announcement, Ran having told him at lunch time that things were going slowly and there was no need for him to be at the hospital until they changed. He'd left the apartments as soon as Ran passed on Schuldig's news. He said he'd known what was going on almost from when he'd came out of the lift, because he could feel Ken's anxiety had gone through the roof. "Louise, on the other hand," he said dryly, "is doing very well." He reached inside his shirt and turned his null field generator on. "And that's about as much as I can handle of childbirth, thank you." He went over and sat next to Schuldig. "You doing okay?"

Schuldig opened his eyes. "I'm fine. I'd kill for a cigarette and a bottle of scotch though."

"Sorry, no can do. I could get you some iced tea?"

"Hmmm, okay."

He seemed distracted. Omi grinned at Ran and then headed off to find Schuldig's drink. Ran took his place. "Schu? Is there anything we can do?"

Schuldig put his arm around him, and despite Ran's concern over the public display, he let Schuldig pull him close. "Long day," he murmured.

"It's a good thing that you're doing, Schu. Are they okay?"

"She's as healthy as a horse and the midwife is amazed how well she's doing. Omi's right – Ken needs the tranquilisers, not her."

Yohji came over and crouched in front of them. "Are you feeling what she's feeling? Like you did with Ran and me before?"

"Yes, although I'm keeping it muffled as much as I can. Don't want to get lost in it," he said with a smile.

"That must be amazing. Could we feel it too?"

Ran looked at Yohji in surprise. "Why would you want that?"

"Think about it, Ran. We'd be able to feel something no man has ever experienced. And hell, if she can go through it, it won't kill us, will it, Schu?"

"If you like, kitten. But it will be a while yet, the midwife thinks."

Privately, Ran didn't know if this was such a good idea. But Yohji looked so earnest ... perhaps it was just a random idea to while away the long hours. He got comfortable next to Schuldig, and Yohji squeezed in on the other side – if anyone bitched about the way they were sitting, then let them. Schuldig clearly wanted them close by and that was all that mattered.

"All right, Louise, push!"

"Oh, God!"

"You're doing well, luvvie, that's it... yes, there's the head...."

"Keep going, hon, you're doing fine!"

"Fuckin' hurts, Ken!"

"I know, love, just ...." [Schu!]

[She's okay, Ken. She's just letting off steam. But do you want to feel what she's feeling?]

"Wha...?" Magda gave him a funny look. [What?]

[Brace yourself, Nullboy, here it comes!]

And then...oh gods! He could... god fuck almighty, it hurt, his guts hurt like they were being dragged out his ass with a hook! But... there was something between his legs, and.... "God... Louise!"

"Ken, it's coming! The baby!"

"Yes, I know! God, it's... oh god! I can feel it!" He groaned as she did, and then there was an even greater searing pain in parts of him that had felt nothing for years....

"Yes, here it is! One more push... yes, there you go, Louise!"

Then something bloody and white and perfectly disgusting was put on Louise's bare stomach, and he felt her astonishment and his own, as she brought her hand up to touch their child. "Ken...."

Magda beamed at them. "She's a lovely little girl, Louise. Well done. Just relax for a few minutes – the placenta will want to come out soon."

Ken heard the words as if in a fog... all he could see was the messy little form on Louise's stomach. His daughter. Their daughter. The midwife cleaned some of the gunk off the baby's face, and then Ken was looking at a tiny human being. "Isn't she beautiful?" she said.

"She's perfect," Ken murmured, leaning over to kiss Louise. "Thank you, love."

"Thank you, Ken." She rested her head on his shoulder.

A few minutes, a bit more pain and mess, the placenta was out and their daughter was cleaned of the birth residue. Magda helped Louise get back into bed, put the baby in her arms, and then Ken was able to get on the bed with her, with the midwife's help. "I'll leave you all to get to know each other, and I'll be back soon," Magda said. "Louise, she'll want to nurse at some point."

Louise nodded, her eyes only for her baby. "Could you tell my friends what's happened? When can we see them?" Ken asked.

"As soon as you like. Not for too long, Louise and the baby need peace and quiet and rest. Give yourself a few minutes and I'll check in, see if you're ready."

Ken thanked her, and then he cuddled close to his wife. "How do you feel, love?"

"Sore. Tired. Bloody fantastic, Ken." He gave her a kiss as he stared at his baby girl. She was so tiny. "Was I imagining things? It was like you were in my head for a few seconds there."

"I was in yours too – Schuldig did it. I could feel her coming out of you," He touched a careful finger to his daughter's tiny hand. "I've never felt anything like that."

"Neither have I, Ken," she said dryly and he laughed. "Isn't she wonderful?"

"She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen except you. I love you both so much."

He had a family – for the first time in his life, a blood relation of his own that would turn to him and need him. He didn't know whether to be proud or terrified, but he knew his life was never going to be the same again.

Ran opened his eyes. "Oh gods," he whispered, looking down, half expecting to see a baby between his thighs. He blinked. Like him, Yohji was sitting dazed, looking around as if his surroundings were alien to him. "How do women do that all the time?"

Schuldig stretched and freed himself from the joint embrace of Yohji and Ran so he could stand up and groan. "I have no idea, but I've never been more glad in my life not to be female." He laughed. "Oh, that poor child."

"Huh?"

"It's a girl. The poor kid is going to die a virgin – she's got Ken as a father and us four as honorary uncles. What are the chances of her ever being allowed out of the house?"

Yohji smiled. "You might have a point. Not much of a fate."

"No, being a virgin sucks. That's why I try to lose my virginity as often as possible," he added with a leer which made Omi blush right on cue.

"You're not being allowed anywhere near my niece with morals like that," Yohji said, wagging his finger at him. "How is Louise?"

"She's fine, tired. We'll be allowed to see them in a bit." Schuldig yawned. "Not a minute too soon. I'm wrecked."

"You did good work today, Schuldig," Omi said, standing up. "Weiss did good work."

"Yeah, I guess we did," Schuldig said, snapping off another yawn. "Crawford would have a conniption if he could see me now."

The sting of his old rival's name had long since faded, and Ran could see the humour of the situation – that Schuldig's awesome powers were being used as superior analgesia in the most life-affirming of all activities, something that Schwarz most assuredly would never have been involved in. He almost had a fit of the giggles at the idea of Crawford being presented with a newborn child, complete with blood and umbilical cord, to hold.

"Come on, squirt," Yohji said cheerfully, standing up and stretching. "I need some more coffee before we have to coo and ah over the latest addition." He bent and risked a quick kiss. "Thanks, Schu. That was a hell of a rush. I may not remember things, but now I know something the old me could never have done."

"Better not tell Ken and Louise, I think," Omi said.

"No, let it be our secret," Schuldig agreed. Ran agreed too – while it had been a unique experience, it was also an intensely private one, which rightfully belonged to his friends. But like Yohji, he was grateful to have shared it, and to have been here this day, despite all the odds, to do so with his friends and lovers. It really had been the most fantastic twenty four hours of his life.

Magda and a nurse helped Louise clean up a little more, and Ken brushed her hair, before he sent a message that his friends could come in and see their new arrival. A minute later, there was a knock on the doorframe. "Hello, I hear you ordered a special delivery," Yohji said with a grin.

Ken waved him to come in. The others filed after him, and they stood by the bed, looking a little embarrassed but pleased. "Guys, I want you to meet our daughter, Aiko Hana Palmer-Saki."

Ran bowed slightly. "Irasshai, Aiko-chan. Hajimemashite yoroshiku onegaishimasu."

"Irasshai," the others chorused, and then they all bowed, even Schuldig. Ken felt himself getting a little misty-eyed at the gesture.

"Well done, Louise. Good work," Ran said politely, but with a smile that showed his real emotion. "It's a lovely name. Very appropriate."

Louise blushed. "Thanks, guys. Now, who wants to hold her first?"

They look nonplussed for a moment. "Schu, you should...." Ken started to say, because Schuldig had played such an important part in the whole process.

Clearly Schuldig thought differently. "Nein, they revoked my baby handling licence years ago," he said, backing away with an exaggerated look of horror on his face.

"Idiot," Yohji said severely. "Well, if no one else wants to...." He sat on the bed next to Louise, and kissed her cheek, before she carefully handed Aiko to him. He looked more nervous than the first time he'd had to defuse a bomb. "Gods, she's minute. Are you sure she's done? Maybe you should put her back."

"Yohji," Ran said in the same tone Yohji has just used to Schuldig, and coming closer himself. "She's beautiful. So perfectly small."

"She really is – and not so small. Three point four kilos, so there, Yohji."

Yohji grinned. "Only teasing, Ken. She's lovely. Just look at her fingers." Yohji's own big hands almost engulfed Aiko's little body as he cradled her.

The others came over to admire her. "Er, KenKen.... Are you sure you're the daddy?"

Ken stared at Schuldig in shock, his proud contentment shattered. "What the fuck does that mean, Schuldig?"

"Um, Ken," Yohji said diffidently, "he might have a point." He touched Aiko's scalp gently. "Or is there some trick of the light that just makes her hair look red?"

Ken hadn't noticed – her hair had been wet until a minute or so ago, and he'd just thought it was dark brown, like his own hair. He and Louise stared down – and Yohji was right. Aiko's hair was definitely drying into a rich crimson which looked rather like Ran's. "Oh no!"

"Oh yes, Ken, another redhead," Schuldig said with a smirk. "Perhaps it's catching."

"How the hell can this have happened?" Ken asked, glaring at the adult redheads as if it was their fault.

"Well, hon, Dad's father was a redhead, and there's ginger on Mum's side... and maybe it's just recessive in some Japanese. How else do you explain Ran?" Louise said, sounding rather pleased. "I don't mind – I think it's pretty."

"It's gorgeous," Yohji said admiringly. "You know I have a thing for redheads anyway."

Ken's feathers stopped being so ruffled, and he had to admit the revealed colour of his daughter's hair was pretty. But something was still amiss. He noticed Omi, who had been curiously silent up to now, was just standing and staring at Aiko as if she was an infant Buddha. "Omi? Do you want to hold her?"

Omi jerked. "Er... yes, of course."

"Come on over, then," Yohji said, moving up. When Omi sat down, he handed Aiko to him. Omi stared down at her, apparently lost for words. "I think you're supposed to say something like, oh, look, she's got the right number of eyes, or something."

Omi didn't answer. Aiko squirmed and blinked a little, yawning. Omi's eyes got big as he held out a finger for her tiny fist to grip. "She's...." He looked up, blinking, at Ken. "I...." Suddenly he handed the baby back to Yohji. "I... just excuse me for a minute, will you?"

Louise gave Ken a puzzled look.What the fuck?

Yohji settled Aiko in his arms, and stared in confusion at Omi's disappearing form. "What's up with him?"

"I'll go find out," Ran said with a determined look.

"I'll go with you," Schuldig said, following his lover out of the room at a slower pace.

Yohji blinked. "Those guys.... Here, you better take her, Louise. Somehow, I don't think I can supply what she needs."

"What about you, Yohji?" she asked as she settled Aiko at her breast.

"Huh?"

"You look... content," Ken explained. He and Louise had made some guesses while she'd been in labour, and now they wanted to know. "Did something happen last night?"

Yohji blushed. "Yeah, I guess it did. Not something I can talk about in front of Aiko-chan though."

"It's a good thing you'll be spending so much time up north then," Ken said with a grin. "Those foundations can only take so much."

"Ken, don't tease," Louise said drowsily.

Yohji smiled as he stood up. "I better let you get some rest."

"Thanks, Yohji."

He bent and kissed her cheek. "No, thank you. Thank you both. It means a lot being allowed to be part of this with you."

"It's what we both wanted from the minute we knew Lou was pregnant," Ken said firmly. "I know you don't remember, but you promised to be first uncle, and the job's still yours if you want it."

Yohji looked astonished. "Really? But what about the others?"

"Yohji, do you want the job or not?"

"Of course. Not that I have any idea what a first uncle does, but you don't have to ask me to look after this girl – she's my sweetheart already. Sorry, Louise."

She sighed. "A mother for an hour and already my daughter is stealing my dates."

"It's the way of things, I'm sorry. Now, I really am going. Enjoy your first night as parents, guys. Oyasumi, Aiko-chan."

He laid a gentle hand on her forehead, and then walked away, waving at them as he left, closing the door behind them.

"What's wrong with Omi, Ken?"

"Not sure. Ran and Schu will sort him out, and I'll talk to him later, but right now, I think our daughter might be looking for her first meal."

Omi had managed to get a lead on him, but Ran had the advantage of Schuldig guiding him from behind. [He's headed to the downstairs waiting room – I'll catch you up.]

[Thanks.]

He found Omi sitting alone in the private waiting room, his hands clasped around his knees. From a distance, he looked composed, but as Ran drew nearer, he saw tears were trickling down his friend's cheeks, without Omi making any move to brush them aside. Ran sat beside him, not sure how to approach this, and so he just waited.

After a few moment, Omi scrubbed the tears away and blew his nose. "I...uh... guess you want to know what's wrong."

"I'm concerned, yes. But only if you want to talk."

Omi sniffled and laughed a little. "Funny. There was a time when you would have been the last person to come after me. You'd have left that to Yohji or Ken. And yet I'm not surprised at all that it's you, Ran."

"Perhaps I've just grown up, Omi. I'm not proud of the way I was."

"It was how you had to be to survive, Ran. I know that."

He fell silent again. "Ken and Louise are very happy," Ran ventured when it seemed Omi wasn't going to speak. "Aiko is a beautiful child."

"Isn't she," he said, as his breath hitched. "I...we planned so hard for this... for years, Ran. I've wanted this day for so long... I never believed it would come...and all I could think was... Fuck you, Father. Fuck you, Uncle. We won. I won," he said fiercely. He turned to Ran. "I beat them. We kept Weiss alive and I beat them."

"Yes," Ran said solemnly. "It's a great achievement. But...."

"Why am I sobbing like a girl?"

"Yes, something like that."

Omi nodded. "I don't know. I'm really happy... but at the same time, I feel... left behind...."

"How so, Omi? To me, it feels like you've surpassed all of us."

"Superficially, yes. But then I see how you've changed, how Ken has matured into such a fine man, who'll be a wonderful father... and here I am, still the same ruthless monster I was brought up to be. I guess my father wins after all."

Ran made a sound of protest. "You're no monster, Omi." He looked more closely at his friend. "Is this because you want to be a father yourself?"

Omi blinked away another tear. "Yes, I suppose it is. Seeing Aiko – and how happy Ken and Louise are – and knowing... knowing I can never have that, and I would be unfit to raise a child even if I could have one."

"Why do you say that, Omi?" Ran asked, genuinely puzzled. "You're barely twenty three. You might one day fall in love with a woman and have a child with her. Even if you don't, there are other options – none easy, I admit, but they exist. Your hands are no bloodier than Ken's. Or mine."

"It's not that, Ran.... A year or so ago, I realised I'd lost count of how many people I'd killed, and I felt that was wrong somehow. I should have at least kept count. Death should mean that much, but it doesn't. The deaths mean nothing to me and they never will. I'm the killer, the assassin I was raised to be. I can't ever escape that."

"I never counted them, Omi. To think of them as people with the right to live like innocent people would have made our task impossible."

"But you hated it – you always did, Ran. To you it was a necessary evil, never something you enjoyed."

"No – but Ken told me once that he did, from time to time. I know Schuldig did. When forced into something repeatedly, human beings find a way of coping, just as you did. You said yourself, Ken will make a fine father. I believe, in time, if you want to, so would you."

Omi stared at him. "Do you really believe that, Ran? Knowing who I am, the blood on my hands and in my veins?"

Ran placed a hand on Omi's arm. "I know you are a good man who has surmounted his upbringing just as Schuldig has. The blood on your hands is not that of innocents, nor did you ever kill for the sake of it. As for your family – you're the first Takatori by blood in at least three generations who hasn't been a criminal and a scoundrel. If you can overcome the disadvantages both of your nature and your nurturing, you can do anything you want to. Your child would not be raised to kill."

Omi smiled a little. "You seem so certain, Ran."

"I am certain. I firmly believe that one day, you will have your family. If you don’t, it will be because you have chosen not to, not because you have been denied it."

"And have you chosen that way, Ran? No family for you?"

This was a difficult question for Ran. "Right now, it's out of the question. Schuldig doesn't want children for reasons I understand, and Yohji has a long way to go in his recovery. I can accept a future without them and I would be happy to play uncle to your offspring as much as Ken's."

Omi smiled again. "Funny. You're so paternal, I assumed you would be miserable if you couldn’t have children."

"I have Schu and Yohji, Omi."

Now Omi grinned. "Yes, like I have Weiss."

"The important thing is that Weiss has you."

"Me? I'll just be the gay old bachelor hanging around, babysitting and minding houses," he said with a wry twist of his mouth.

"Only if you want it to be that way. I know Yohji wants more from you than that, so do I and so do the others." Ran sighed. "You're a clever man, Omi, so I know I don't need to repeat myself. Be proud of this day, be proud of what you've done and who you've become. The past is always there, just as mine is. But there is a future happiness for you, as there was for me, and none of us will allow you to forget that."

"Thank you, Ran-kun." He smiled, and rubbed his eyes. "I think it's been too long a day."

"That it has, " Ran said kindly. "And I understand babies have a strange effect on some people. Look at Yohji – he's already in love."

"Yes, but as you say, he's got a thing for redheads."

Ran stood, as did Omi, who still seemed rather subdued, but at least he was no longer crying. Ran felt he was over the worst of his distress, and would, in time, overcome the greater obstacles, with help from his friends which he assuredly would have. " I'm going to find Yohji and Schu and take them home. You can handle things from now, as you do so well. And Yohji still expects you to come to Lone Pine tomorrow, if there's time."

Omi swallowed, but managed a small grin. "Yes, Ran, I'll be there."

"Good. See you back at the building."

"Yes. Thank you."

Ran gave him a smile and then headed back into the corridor. He knew he didn't have to find Schuldig – Schuldig would find him. Ran had been aware that he was 'listening' to the whole conversation. And sure enough, Schuldig caught him up as he came through the doors, and told him to head to the car park. "Good job," he murmured.

"I don't know what to do for him, Schu. I don’t know what any of us can do."

Schuldig laughed. "You don't need to 'do' a thing, Ran. Weiss is like a sanatorium for broken souls. We go in busted, and we come out better than we were. Look at the three of us. Omi will be fine. It might take a while for him to sort everything out, but provided we can stop him burying himself in a bureaucratic grave, he won't be able to help but get better."

They found Yohji leaning on the car, waiting patiently. He climbed into the back seat, while Ran got behind the wheel, Schuldig in the front passenger seat. Yohji poked his head through the space between the seat and leaned on his folded arms. "How is he?"

"Emotionally shaken, but he'll be okay. He asked me if I wanted children."

"And do you?" Yohji asked.

"I told him I have you guys." Yohji aimed a mock punch at him, and Ran ducked. "Do you want children, Yohji?"

Schuldig watched the two of them without commenting – Ran already knew his views in intimate detail, but they'd never discussed the subject with 'new' Yohji. "I don’t know, Ran. Being a parent is about passing on your own wisdom and experience, I guess – but I'm only six months old. I don't even remember being a kid myself – so how could I understand how they think?" He shrugged. "For now, I'm happy the way things are, unless you're not. I've still got so much getting to know you to do, so much learning. Ask me in a few years' time."

"Ran – if you want a child, I would support you all the way," Schuldig said.

"I know you would. But I suppose I'm selfish in that I want you both to myself for now, for a while anyway. My life has been through so many changes in the last few years, I would just like things not to be dramatic at all. In fact, I would be happy to die of boredom."

Yohji grinned, and leaned forward to kiss him. "Ran, love, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but if last night was any indication of what our sex life is going to be like, there's not a chance in hell of that happening." He slipped his arms around them both and pulled them in a hug. "My daddies," he said smugly.

Schuldig hooted with laughter, and Ran poked Yohji in the ribs as he couldn't help a grin. "You're a nut, Yohji," he said fondly, pushing him back. "Belt up."

"Yes, Dad."

Ran turned to Schuldig. "Youngsters these days."

"Wait until he's old enough to date, Ran. I'll have to install a chastity belt."

"I'll hold him down while you fit it – I don't propose to share him with anyone."

As Yohji yelped in mock protest, Ran started up the engine, and drove out of the car park with a broad smile on his face. It had been a hell of a day, but a good one for Weiss. And for him. He had his lovers, his friends, a new niece, and an intimate knowledge of owning a vagina. What more could any man wish for?

The End