Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She realized it immediately.

As soon as her clumsy and hasty feet met a raised brick, she would trip and fall disastrously. Her wicker basket, full of gifts for her Dark God, would have spilled onto the floor along with its contents, but, for some strange reason, she felt no impact coming.

She was surprised by the warm, strong grip of someone who was holding her up, saving her from disaster. She looked up and was met with a smile and a pair of bright blue eyes.

She realized it immediately.

She realized that this man was a concentration of kindness like few others in the world, yet she had the gift of her eternal youth, she had known many men over the centuries. Selfish, thirsty for power and superficial pleasures. Well, this blond who had just helped her was really different. Her Dark God would be attracted and disgusted at the same time, exactly how she felt herself.

“Are you okay, miss? Did you get hurt?” he asked with soft voice.

"I’m fine, thank you."

As she straightened up, she was dazzled by his gentle aura, which shone around him like an iridescent diamond meeting the rays of a summer sun. It was really a lot, too much, for her eyes. She wanted to turn on her heels and run away, but she remembered that the best gift she could give to her Dark God wasn't a basket full of skinned and cooked animals, no, she could have better.

She therefore gripped this boy's forearm with both hands and absorbed the images of his sorrow.

A child who is beaten by those who appear to be his brothers, a child who is locked in a cell, with an iron mask on his head... and again... a child who is disowned.

"Don't tell anyone that I’m your father."

Tears, many tears, on those fragile and innocent eyes.

Blood and tears on this man's eyes. They made him suffer again, recently apparently, and yet… he saved them.

She understood that she could not miss this tempting opportunity. Offering a kind soul meant an extra year of youth for her, this was the deal and she really didn't want to give it up...

“I'd like to give you something to thank you for your help,” she said, smiling.

“Oh, no need, miss. Your beautiful smile is the best reward I could ask for!”

The woman shook her head. “Take this.”

She handed him a bottle of wine that was in her basket, a precious, special wine, a creation of her own God who needs a medium to quench his thirst. She finally found the perfect person for that wine.

I will give you the fire of revenge.

I will give you the anger you don't allow yourself.

I will give you the blood of those who made you suffer.

I will give you everything you deserved to have and you didn't take, because of that rotten weed called kindness that took root in your heart, preventing you from wanting something better for yourself.

And Beelzebub will feed on all this.

“There's no need to give me anything. Really, I..."

“It's a wine I make myself,” the woman lied, “it would make me happy to reward you with something I made with my own effort.”

The smile of that naive man widened further. He knew what it felt like to give something you made with your own hands. He knows that pride that warms the chest and lightens the heart.

“Then I will gladly accept it. Thank you."

The woman hummed contentedly, then hurried away before Sanji had time to greet her. In his hand now was a new bottle of crimson wine.

Sanji takes a fleeting look at his reflection in the mirror. He focuses on his white shirt and black pants. He realizes that his outfit resembles what he must have worn on Whole Cake Island, but there are no pompous ruffles around his neck. Nor a red cloak that envelops him and claims his royalty. The shirt he wears that afternoon is simple, better representing the man he has always been and always wanted to be. He smiles at the image of him and heads to the galley.

Sanji has been feeling in a really good mood lately. Everything seems to be going well, as it hasn't happened for a long time. His misadventure with the Vinsmokes and Big Mom was now over, as was the ferocious battle against Kaido and his pirates.

On Wano his body had changed, and when he realized he had an indestructible exoskeleton, he feared to lose everything for which his mother had sacrificed herself. But the situation seems to be under control now. His emotions are still there, held in his heart, ready to implode once again from love, or from the crushing weight of his negative thoughts.

Luckily, those thoughts are light years away since his nakamas returned to the Sunny safely and he was cooking again for eight... no, for nine people, including his captain. An emperor.

Sanji couldn't ask for anything better.

Yet luck had kissed him once more when he visited the market of Pike's Peak island, where they had docked at, and he received as a gift a bottle of wine, made by the delicate hands of a splendid raven-haired woman.

That bottle is still unopened and sitting on his galley table. It has no label on it, obviously, but he’s sure that the wine inside is delicious, he can't wait to sip it and discover its flavor. Unfortunately, he can't use it to cook anything. The quantity is not enough to marinate the quintals of meat needed to feed his crew. But the log pose requires two more days to set, and maybe, he could find that wonderful girl the next day and purchase an ample supply from her to keep in the pantry.

“SANJIIIIIII!”

Luffy interrupts his sweet ramblings by calling out to him as he ran and slammed the door open.

“Sanji! I'm hungry!”

“There's nothing for you until dinner, you rubber idiot! And I served the snack just an hour ago!” His authoritative tone isn't enough to hide the slight smile that emerges on his lips.

His captain's tantrums are one of those things that remind him of being home. Safe. With his family.

“But I'm hungry!” he repeats whining, “and I want meat!”

“If you let me work, you will have your meat for dinner! I can only let you have you some biscuits now.”

"Biscuits? I love your biscuits!” the boy replies, sitting at the table and licking his lips.

“Figures.”

It’s truly impossible to keep this perpetually hungry beast at bay. Sanji approaches one of the shelves, he opens one and takes out a vase where he kept some shortbread biscuits glazed with sugar and decorated with edible flowers. Robin had loved them with her afternoon tea. He decides to set aside a decent amount and serve the rest to his captain.

Luffy wastes no time. He gulps them down one after the other, with extreme voracity, and Sanji knows that scolding him for this would be useless. So he lets out an exasperated sigh and turns back to the meat and vegetable stew, sticking an unlit cigarette between his lips.

As soon as he grabs the knife to cut the carrots, he hears the sound of glass shattering on the floor. Sanji whirls around to find Luffy blinking, staring at the mess in confusion.

“Shitty food-eater with no manners! You just destroyed the gift I received from a beautiful lady!”

Luffy tilts his head, staring at him questioningly. "Me?"

“Who else?”

“I didn't even touch it!”

"So what? Did bottle walk alone and kill itself?”

His big black eyes widen in amazement. “Maybe it was a magic bottle! Maybe he could even talk and we wouldn't..."

"Cut the bullshit!” Sanji interrupts.

Luffy goes silent, then scratches his hair. “Anyway, I didn't touch it, I'm sure of it!”

Sanji ignores his awkward justification and points his unlit cigarette towards the disaster.  “You clean that! Now!"

His captain shrugs and immediately bends down to the floor, starting to pick up some glass with his hands.

"No! Not like that, you idiot! There's the broom and mop in the closet."

In that very moment, Luffy realizes that he has cut his index finger and sticks it in his mouth, sucking on that mix of acidic wine and warm blood that caresses his tongue.

He swallows and tries to keep cleaning, but in his head everything begins to become incoherent, the world seems to revolve around him like a carousel, faster and faster until he sees blurry images of moments of the past scroll by.

Ace dying for him, taking Akainu's punch.

Then…

Nami rejecting him.

Usopp challenging him.

Robin walking away.

Sanji kicking him.

And he does it with such satisfaction, with such strong contempt, and such a cruel smile, that he feels suffocated and painful with anger.

His heart begins to beat faster.

His heart begins to burn.

It burns as if it’s devoured by the flames of hell itself.

Luffy falls to his knees. His fists begin to hit the wooden floor, still soaked in wine, breaking it with his raw strength. A red glow crosses his eyes. A large part of himself is crushed by a sudden lust for revenge and is locked in a shell of evil.

Sanji frowns at this unusual sight and bends down beside him. “Oi, what's going on? You're making me worry."

His captain doesn't seem to hear him. He's too busy punching the floor of his galley, and his rapid breathing is accompanied by the guttural noise of his growls. Sanji has never seen Luffy in this state before. He had known his rage during battle against his worst enemies, but he’d never shown this side of himself without any apparent threat. What was driving him so crazy?

Hell, he was usually the one with the fucked-up mind!

Suddenly Luffy jumps up and gives his cook a strange, sinister smile, very different from his usual one.

"Everything okay?" Sanji asked as he got back to his feet.

“I'm bored, I think I’m gonna fish with Zoro,” he shrugs.

“What about the mess you made?” Sanji asks with little bite.

The boy with the straw hat turns and gives him an annoyed look. He approaches the table and throws the biscuits that survived his assault on the floor.

“I'm the captain of this ship, Sanji, not a chore boy.”

Sanji tries to speak up, but something inside him is starting to crack.

“And you are my cook. If I want meat, you serve it, not biscuits with flowers. Next time I won't be so lenient with you."

Sanji looks at the cookies lying on the ground, feeling the anger boiling in his veins. Whatever his problem was with him, he won’t accept this kick on his principles.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You know I don't allow food waste! You’ve always been unbearably capricious when you’re hungry, but this is too much even for you!”

The cook kneels down to pick up the biscuits and eat them, but when he tries to retrieve some pieces, a foot wrapped in a sandal presses forcefully on the back of his hand, blocking him.

“Who authorized you to speak to me like this?” Luffy growls, a strange fire in his eyes. It was almost as if he wanted to hurt him more than anything.

Sanji is speechless. His breath catches in his throat, his heart pounds in his ears and a part of him begins to suspect that this was one of his usual nightmares. He would probably wake up soon in his comfortable bunk and listen to his captain's carefree snoring. It had to be like this.

But as he feels the pressure increase on his hand, the pain feels damn real.

“L-Luffy… stop…” he slurs.

“There is only so much arrogance I can tolerate from you, and you are dangerously close to that limit.”

When his hand is freed, Sanji swallows. He remains petrified as Luffy leaves the galley and he doesn't dare to move even after finding himself alone.

What just happened is beyond his comprehension, but maybe he should have foreseen that Luffy wouldn't be tolerant of him forever. That boy had already saved him from himself and forgiven him after their fight on Whole Cake Island. Why the hell he convinced himself that things could go back to what they used to be before?

He should have bitten his tongue and repaid Luffy's kindness equally, if not a hundred times more. Instead, he was back to being his usual asshole, ready to yell at his captain just because he asked for more food.

What kind of useless chef is he?

But mostly, what kind of nakama is he?

He deserved it.

He deserved that outburst from Luffy.

Now he absolutely must look for a way to make amends.

His brain immediately suggests to organize a surprise feast. That same evening. After all, they were already docked at an island, he can make up for the unexpected consumption of supplies the following morning by returning to the market. He would beg Nami to give him some extra berries.

With this new purpose in mind, Sanji eats all the cookies on the ground, cleans the floor getting rid of the wine and glass, then, he begins to take out an incalculable quantity of meat and other food from the fridge.

The galley table is filled with his nakamas' favorite dishes. There’s obviously Luffy's meat, white rice with Sea King meat for the mosshead, mandarin tarts for Nami, and more white chocolate tarts for Chopper, grilled fish for Usopp, burgers and cola for Franky, varied sandwiches for Robin, takoyaki for Brook and Mozuku seaweed in vinegar and fruits for Jinbe.

It was exactly like the bento he made for Pudding on Whole Cake Island, but bigger. He's proud of it.

The atmosphere is the same as always. Joyful, carefree, full of chatter and laughter. Luffy seems happy too and Sanji thinks that maybe, thanks to his cooking, he was able to put a smile back on his lips.

This is how he can be a better cook and nakama. He had to stop being an asshole and take greater care of those who had welcomed him back onto the ship, despite the bullshit he had done. He didn't deserve it, really, he had never deserved it, but he would do his best to repay each of them for their kindness.

“Hey, Luffy, stop it! You're greedier than usual tonight!” Nami snaps, trying to protect her tangerine jam tarts.

“But I'm still hungry!”

Sanji immediately catches his complaint and smiles at him. “Do you want anything else, captain?”

He notices the strange look the mosshead gives him, due to his unusual condescension. Sanji decides to ignore him.

“You have any leftovers? More meat?”

“No, but I can prepare bacon in a few minutes and maybe…”

“I'm hungry now!” Luffy snorts.

Usopp pinches his rubber cheek. “Why are you acting like we left you without food for weeks?”

“Let Sanji-kun cook your damn bacon and leave our food alone!” Nami protests again.

“But I'm the captain.” Luffy's words immediately cause Sanji to frown and set his jaw. The situation could degenerate at any moment.

No. It won’t happen. He won’t let anyone in the crew to be disappointed.

So he goes straight back to the stove, rolls up his sleeves to his elbows, takes out a pan and starts frying some bacon, accompanying it with a generous amount of eggs. He remembers that this was the reason why he tried to limit himself when Luffy asked him for more food. Feeding him whenever he felt like it implied an enormous consumption of resources, and consequently greater outgoings. Still, he doesn't want to think about it now. There are other priorities in his mind and he might just turn a blind eye tonight.

Maybe Luffy is just hungrier and more irritable than usual. Maybe tomorrow things will go back to normal.

“I'll eat the bacon, but I also want the tarts,” the captain declares seriously.

"Not a chance!" Nami replies.

A pair of rubber arms reach out and snake past the obstacles, managing to earn two tarts, but Nami immediately raises her fist, ready to hit Luffy's head. He stops her before she does. He grips her wrist tightly and gives her an icy look.

“Luffy… what the hell are you doing! Let go of me!"

Sanji turns around. His anger begins to rise like lava ready to erupt as he sees Luffy gripping the wrist of his beautiful and delicate Nami-San with vigor. In those black eyes he can sees again the strange desire to hurt that already glimpsed when Luffy stepped on his hand. He can't let him do that.

“Y-You're hurting me!”

Nami's voice sounds pained. Sanji sees red.

His captain is going against his principles again and he can't stand by and watch. So he kicks straight to Luffy's head, causing him to crash into the wall behind him. Everyone stay silent, dazed, while the mosshead gives him a puzzled look. Franky lets out a sigh of concern for Sunny.

"That’s enough! Get a grip and stop acting like a moron!"

Luffy gets back on his feet, brushes the dust off his clothes and gives him an arrogant smile. His kick just wiped out everything good he had done up to that point.

“Sanji, it's you again.”

“Yes, it's me, and I'll always be the one to kick your ass if you act like an asshole to Nami-san!”

“Of course, of course. Women before your own captain. I should have known better.”

This was a low blow, really, but Sanji decides to be reasonable.

"Please, try to be patient and I promise you will have your bacon in a few minutes.” He makes a great effort to hold back any expletives while speaking.

“Come on, Luffy! There's really no point in ruining such a wonderful feast for a few tarts! You're not a child!" Usopp said, chuckling.

Robin nods slightly, addressing Luffy like a loving mother. “I'm sure that our captain-san will be perfectly capable of letting his nakamas enjoy their favorite food, and I'm equally sure that he will now apologize to navigator-san for his rash act, right?”

Luffy frowns. “So that's what is bothering you? Not the punch that Nami was about to hit me like usual? Or Sanji’s kick?”

“Not exactly, but…” Robin is cut off abruptly.

“But that's what you're worried about, right?!”

Chopper intervenes, forcing a smile and shaking his hooves. "Hey guys! How about playing a game together right after dinner? Spin the bottle game? Truth or Dare? Last time I fell asleep straight away and I wanna try again!”

“I can play something, we can dance or sing together, I will welcome any request with an open heart! Even if I don't have a heart! Yohohohoh!” Brook immediately takes up his violin.

Despite the crew's good intentions, Luffy raises a hand, stopping any idle chatter.

“Robin, Nami, Usopp, Sanji. I want you on the deck. Now."

Luffy lowers the hat on his head and leaves the galley. The crew members exchange confused and worried looks, then Zoro follows his captain out. Everyone follow suit soon after, and Sanji is left behind, alone. His heart pounding furiously in his chest.

He stares at the crater formed on the wall.

He did it again, didn't he? He kicked Luffy again.

  “Well, that's who you are.”

 A complete idiot. An ungrateful bastard.

Sanji feels that everything will end badly. He’s missing the courage to take a step. So he puts a cigarette in his mouth, lights it and inhales. This time, not even nicotine can calm his anxiety... and he knows there’s no escape. He must face whatever awaits him beyond that door. He takes one last drag and puts out the half-smoked cigarette on an ashtray. Then he leaves the galley.

Sanji finds Luffy with his arms folded, on the deck, a black coat draped over his shoulders. Nami, Usopp, Robin lined up in front of him, and the others are standing near the railing, looking more confused than ever.

“What the hell is wrong with you today? You must have lost your mind!” Nami snaps, nervous.

The cook reaches and stops next to them, aligning himself with his three companions.

Luffy looks at him and smiles mockingly. “Our prince obviously had to show himself with the necessary calm. God forbid he should inconvenience himself in the presence of some pirate of an inferior race, right?”

Sanji recognizes his own words, those poisonous words he spat in Luffy's face on Whole Cake Island. He stays silent, as he should.

“Can you explain why the hell you lined us up like soldiers?” The navigator's anger seems implacable.

“I want to let you know that I've taken some time to reflect recently.”

Reflect? These words don't sound like him. Nothing he says or does seems to reflect the happy-go-lucky boy they've always known.

“I thought about our journey together, our adventures, I thought also about the behavior of the four of you. You, my traitors.” Luffy emphasizes the last word, making Usopp sweat.

Having been left without a cigarette, Sanji desperately tries to hold back his anxiety by biting his lower lip.

"What?" Nami looks shocked. “It's a joke, right?”

Luffy stops in front of her. “You deceived me from the first day we met, you stole my ship. And when I showed up to find you, you rejected me with a derogatory attitude.”

“You know why I did.”

“I don’t fucking care,” he growls.

Her mouth hangs open, but no words come out of her throat. Then Luffy reaches the sniper.

“You questioned my decisions and decided to challenge me to a duel.” Usopp swallows and clenches his fists at his sides.

The captain looks Robin, who seems particularly stiff. “You decided to run away, showing little trust in your crew.”

Luffy finally returns to Sanji, sporting a grim smile. “And you… you acted like the other three put together. You despised me, kicked my ass, and didn't show a shred of faith in your crew. You betrayed me in the worst way possible.”

Sanji closes his eyes, silently enduring the searing pain that's spreading across the center of his chest. He knows Luffy is right. He knows he was the worst, yet he had deluded himself that everything could have been forgotten and forgiven.

“As if the betrayal wasn't enough, some of you have shown a continuously disrespectful attitude towards me, instead of making amends as they should have.”

Even in this regard, he's referring to Nami... and him. He wasn't surprised. He wasn't surprised to find himself facing the disappointment of the one who had given him the chance to chase his dream and know the love of a real family. Yet, a part of him wonders why things came to a head so suddenly. What made Luffy fight so hard to get Sanji back, only to regret it just after Wano?

Is it really because of his shitty attitude? Was he so ungrateful towards him that he fucked everything up in record time? Or there is something more?

Luffy speaks again, almost as if he had read his doubts in his mind. "However, while I was reflecting on you, I didn't just focus on the mistakes, or the betrayals, I also tried to take into consideration your usefulness."

Nami gives Sanji a worried look, he returns it with a small smile of encouragement.

“Robin is an important resource for us, especially with her knowledge of the Poniglyphs.”

The archaeologist's eyes betray no emotion, but Sanji knows that this declaration is lightening her heart. Because Robin desperately needs this family as much as he does. Maybe even more than him. After all, Sanji was lucky to have lived with the old geezer. She hadn't even had that.

“Usopp is a good sniper and helps repair the ship with Franky, as well as looking after the weapons.”

Finally Usopp cracks a smile. “Well, yes, the great Captain Usopp is the best ally you can have on board and you mustn't never forget this! D-did I ever tell you about the time I found an island with huge dinosaurs that..."

"Quiet!" Luffy orders, earning puzzled looks from everyone. Even Zoro is starting to look weirded out.

But the captain ignores them and looks at Nami. “You're probably the best navigator around, and I know you'll help me find the One Piece before anyone else. But I want you to stop with the fists, otherwise I'll dump you on the most miserable and remote island on the Grand Line."

“Okay…” she replies, sighing anxiously.

At this point Luffy stops in front of Sanji and crosses his arms across his chest. “Then I thought of you, Vinsmoke Sanji. I thought about you more than you deserved and came to a logical conclusion.”

His last name never sounded so bitter as the moment Luffy said it with that disdain.

“Do you understand that Sanji is also indispensable?” Chopper suggests hopefully.

“That our cook-bro is irreplaceable?” Franky also chimed in.

Sanji appreciates the display of affection by his nakamas, but he knows what’s coming. He knows damn well, because that's what his mind had been telling him over and over since he'd boarded the Going Merry.

“No, idiots! Stop interrupting me!”

They both go quiet, so Luffy can finally say out loud everything Sanji has always feared.

“I realized that you are useless to me. I can find another cook on this same island who respects my requests and my role as captain. Besides, you're not even among the best fighters in my crew. Now I have Jinbe, and I'm sure he will be much more reliable than you, since he has no qualms about fighting women, right?”

The crew gasps at the captain’s words.

Sanji feels breathless as his heart breaks into a thousand pieces that tear his soul. In the end he had failed Luffy too. He proved himself to be the useless scumbag he had always been, no matter how much effort or love he put into what he did, he was always just a waste of space. A good-for-nothing, a weakling, a man without any purpose.

“I think you made a big mistake when you destroyed your raid suit. This is not what the future Pirate King needs,” he points at him with a disgusted expression.

Sanji’s eyes widen. How did Luffy know about the choice he made for him?

“But now I know. I know I can become Pirate King without you, and I'm sure your absence will make me a better King, with no weak links to worry about."

Suddenly he feels like he's listening to Judge Vinsmoke with Luffy’s voice. If he had the strength, he would laugh at it. It's so sadly ironic.

Once again, Luffy speaks as if he’s reading his mind. “I guess your father was right about you, after all.”

“I guess so,” he finally answers, finding his voice hoarse.

“For all these reasons, Sanji, you’re off my crew effective immediately. I order you to get your stuff and leave the Sunny.”

The Strawhats scream in chorus “What?!” while Zoro seems to tense up.

“Luffy, you can't be serious!” Nami blurts out.

Franky starts sniffling. "Don’t do this! Cook-bro is our nakama!”

“You will never find a better chef than him! And… and… he’s among the strongest fighters ever! You know it!" Chopper is taking pity on a hopeless case like him.

“My decision is final.”

The little reindeer clings to his captain's ankle and begins to cry desperately. "That’s not fair! We did so much to take him back from Whole Cake Island! And you’ve always been so happy to have him as your cook! Please, Luffyyy! We will never be the same again without him!”

“He betrayed me and he was ungrateful. I'm tired of forgiving everything and everyone!” Luffy snaps, shaking off the reindeer. “Punish one and you will educate a hundred.”

Sanji bitterly watches his furry nakama being kicked away and it awakens him from the torpor that nightmare.

“It's okay guys. Don't worry, I'll be fine and you will be fine too."

Sanji hears them objecting his words, still, he decides to not stay any longer. He reaches the men's quarters and opens his locker, collecting all of his personal stuff. He doesn't want to dwell on the memories of every single piece of clothes and that every single object brings with it. He throws them all into a bag without even giving them a glance. His haste makes him clumsier than usual, causing the sunglasses he wore in Alabasta to fall off. Mr. Prince...

He picks them up and quickly puts them back into the bag, shaking his head.

I don't have to think. I don't want to think. This is the past that will never come back and I don't need it now.

Once everything is emptied, he goes to the galley to collect his precious knives. And that's where the others join him.

“Sanji-kun…” the precious navigator's voice sounds broken, and that's enough to interrupt whatever he was doing.

“Nami-san, please don't cry. I don't deserve the tears of such a wonderful and generous woman like you."

“Stop talking nonsense!” she cries out, rubbing her eyes.

He realizes that Chopper, Franky, Usopp and Brook are also a total mess. The splendid Robin-chan has a heartbroken look, Jinbe is sorry and... the mosshead is already back to his usual stoic self. Obviously, he wouldn't care about any of this, about him… why should he?

“Idiots, I'm not dying, okay? One day we will meet again. And you can tell me what the hell One Piece is and tell me everything I missed. I'm sure you will have fulfilled all your dreams and I’ll be so happy for you. For all of you, even for Luffy.”

Don't cry, you worthless sentimental scumbag.

Don't cry or they'll realize you don't believe it either.

They will understand that this is a final goodbye on your part.

“We don't want to tell you what One Piece is... we want to discover it together with you! And we want you to find the All Blue with us!” Usopp exclaims, sporting a hard expression behind his tears.

He can't cry, but at least he doesn't have to hide the smile that emerges on his lips. He wants to enjoy their love for as long as possible, because after this, he will have absolutely nothing left.

“That's not what Luffy wants and I don't blame him for that. I disrespected him and it's fair that I pay for it. In any other pirate ship things would have gone the same way.”

“But we're not just any other pirate ship, we're the Strawhats, dammit!” Nami's response startled him.

She’s right. The Strawhats are not a crew like the others. They are better. They are special. A chaotic concentration of dreams, vitality, principles, courage, loyalty and love. But even in such a special crew, he managed to stand out for his flaws... and it wasn't really Luffy's fault for that.

"It’s true! We are us and we’ve never kicked anyone away!”

For the first time that evening, Zoro folds his arms over his chest and speaks. “You're not in charge, you bunch of idiots, Luffy is, and Luffy will always have the final say. Whether you like it or not.”

Nami punches him in the bicep. “I knew you'd take his side!”

Zoro's cold eye fixes on Sanji, scrutinizing him with a depth that he knows very well. He’s the first mate. The captain's right wing. He trusts Luffy with his very life, even when he makes choices he doesn't agree with.

“I didn't take anyone's side,” he replies without batting an eye.

“Then talk to Luffy! Make him change his mind!”

“I can talk to him to better understand his reasons, but it's not my job to make him change his mind.”

“Z-Zoro…” Chopper looks at him with watery eyes and sniffs.

“As much as it pains me to admit it, the shitty mosshead is right. This is the captain's choice and cannot be contested. Not even from him.”

Usopp lets out a groan of resignation.

“So what are you going to do now, Sanji-san?” Robin asks.

“I think I will try to board as soon as possible to return to Baratie, my dear Robin-Chan. I don't know if the old geezer will be happy to see me come back before I could find the All Blue but... well, he should have foreseen my failure."

He feels the weight of his former crew's frowns on him as he stuffs his precious knives into the bag, so he smiles back at them.

“Please guys, take care of each other, keep fighting for Luffy's dream and for your dreams. I'll be somewhere in the East Blue cheering you on."

He turns to the galley door to leave before the tears can betray him. Nami stops him.

“Wait, Sanji-kun.”

She reaches him and puts a little bag in his hand that he assumes is full of berries.

“I can't take them, Nami-san, these are for the crew and I'm no longer part of them.”

“I don't care, okay? Take them and stay somewhere on this island, please. We'll find a solution with Luffy, in the meantime I'll pretend that the log pose had some malfunction, so as to extend our stay here. I have no intention of leaving without you."

Suddenly Zoro turns away and exits the galley, the others move closer to Nami's side.

“I don't want to leave without you either,” Usopp says.

Brook and Franky look at him determinedly. “Not even us!”

“We’ll go back to being what we used to be! And that includes you!” Chopper cries out.

“I'm sure things will work out, cook-san.” Robin smiles and Jinbe nods.

Sanji doesn't know what to say. He’s confused. Touched. Upset. But also very worried.

“You’re turning against Luffy, your own captain, which is why Marimo has left. You can't do something stupid like that for me."

“The only one who did anything stupid was Luffy when he decided to kick you out of the ship for no reason!”

For no reason?

Luffy had a thousand reasons, he had explained them earlier and they were indisputable. Objective truths that left no room for other interpretations.

Still Sanji would really love to hug his friends, thank them from the bottom of his heart and cling to the love and hope they are offering him. The hope of getting back everything he had lost because he was a failure without redemption. The hope of making things right. The hope of fighting again with them and for them. The hope of meeting again the warm smile that Luffy had given him in the syrupy rain.

He can't do it. Not this time. He can't let them get into trouble because of him, nor does he like to see them divided... all of them on one side, and Luffy and Zoro on the other. He's not worth all this.

But he knows that because of their immense kindness, they will not allow him to refuse their help. So Sanji keeps the money in his pocket and blinks back the tears that threatened to fall down his face. He puts on his liar mask once again. An old, ugly, worn mask that he thought he'd cast aside on Whole Cake Island.

“Okay guys, I'll try to stay on this island. But please, please, don't do anything reckless. After all, we're still talking about Luffy, right? Don't forget what he did for you."

He hears his voice cracking, that’s why he doesn't wait for any response from them. Sanji steps out of the galley, slinging the bag over his shoulder and runs as fast as he can, keeping his head bowed to hide the tears behind his bangs.

He doesn't look at Luffy, yet he can see his contempt.

He doesn't even look at Zoro, but he knows he doesn’t care.

He doesn't look at Sunny, but he feels the desperate looks of his nakamas.

His former nakamas.

Now he was a lonely man, as he always should have been.

As Sanji skywalks among the stars, away from his home and his family, Luffy looks at his crew with an indecipherable expression.

“If I find out that any of you looks for him or have any relationship with him, I will consider you as traitors as he is, and will make sure to make you pay in blood.”

That threat takes away the breath of the Strawhats. Zoro included.

Chapter Text

Sanji walks the streets of Pike's Peak Island without keeping track of the passing time. He promised himself to board the first available ship he would find, but he’s going around in circles. His feet move automatically as his mind continues to replay Luffy's words, almost as if it intentionally wanted to torture him.

“You betrayed me in the worst way possible”

“You have shown a continuously disrespectful attitude towards me”

“I realized that you are useless to me”

“I know I can become Pirate King without you, and I'm sure your absence will make me a better King”

Sanji's heart hasn't stopped bleeding since he left the Sunny. It hurts so much that he wishes he could rip it off his chest and throw it into the ocean, at least he would have the use of feeding the fish. For a moment he even wishes he hadn't destroyed his raid suit. Maybe now he would be so emotionally anesthetized that what just happened would have slipped on him.

It would be so easy…

Sanji shakes his head, disgusted. What would his mother think of him if she knew that he was considering screwing up her sacrifice just to escape the pain? She would be so disappointed. What a fucking coward.

Sorry mom

Sorry Luffy

Sorry Zeff

I'm letting you all down. I was never worthy of your love. Just as I was never worthy of the love of my former crewmates.

Sanji inhales smoke from his cigarette and thinks back to the loving words of the beautiful Nami-san, Chopper, Usopp and the others. They were all willing to look for a way to get him back, even without Luffy's consent, but he wouldn't let them. Sanji knows that any conspiracy against his captain can be punished severely. He thought Luffy wasn't that kind of captain, but now he knows he was wrong. He’s the proof of this. That's why he's walking around looking for a damn ship to board, just like he did as a kid, when he left Germa behind. He needs to disappear quickly and get the will to do something stupid for him out of those idiots heads.

Wandering along the coasts of the island several times, he didn’t find anything. There are only moored trawlers and other small boats. When he looks around once again, helplessly, Sanji sees a man in the distance trying to cover his boat with a tarp. God, finally a sign of life.

“Hey, can I disturb you?” he asks, exhaling the smoke and forcing a friendly smile. His cheeks seem to make a natural resistance to that gesture.

The man straightens up and strokes his moustache. “What do you need, boy?”

“I just wanted to know if there is any ship leaving this night. I need to get off the island as soon as possible.”

“The only boats here are the ones you see,” the man explains, turning towards the ocean. “If you're looking for a ship, I know there's one on the other side of the coast.”

"Really?"

"Yes, it's a pirate ship with a lion's head, but I got to meet the captain of the crew this morning, he’s an idiot with a golden heart! I'm sure he would take you to the end of the world without any problems."

Sanji's shoulders sag. His blue eyes go dark as the cigarette hangs limply between his lips. “No, I can't go with them.”

The mustachioed man raises an eyebrow. “Afraid of pirates?”

“Yes,” Sanji lies, unable to think of a better excuse.

“I can't blame you. They usually scare me too!”

“Is there really no one who plans to leave here?”

“Not tonight, boy. There is a storm coming and it will probably plague the ocean all night. No one in their right mind would set sail now.”

"A storm?"

When he left the Sunny the sky was clear. This reminds him that he still has no idea how much time has passed since then.

"Yes." The man nods at him. Sanji points his gaze towards the horizon and finally notices the dark clouds flashing in the distance.

"Dammit!" he exclaims, biting into his cigarette.

“I think you'll have to wait until tomorrow to leave. Then I can talk to a friend of mine who deals in cargo trading and convince him to give you a ride to the next island. It's called Silvery Island and they specialize in silver production… obviously it's very big. You will find plenty of ships there!”

Well, this isn't exactly the solution he was hoping for, but Sanji believes it's a good compromise.

“How do I know if your friend is willing to give me that ride?”

“Let's meet here tomorrow morning, around 11 o’ clock. You can talk to him yourself.”

Sanji throws the spent cigarette and crushes it with the sole of his shoe.

“Okay, here at 11. Thanks for the help, old man.”

“Hey, kid! You'd better watch your mouth! I'm not old at all!” the man barks, making Sanji smile. If he were in a better mood, he would probably respond in kind right now, just like he used to do with the old geezer... or with the mosshead. The mere thought is enough to make his heart ache once again.

"Whatever. See you tomorrow."

“Yeah, yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Sanji walks away and starts wandering the island again. He looks for an inn or any place to spend the night, before leaving and returning to Baratie. His long walk proves fruitless. There are no places intended for hospitality here.

“Pike's Peak Island is small and we usually have so few visitors that no one wanted to take the risk of opening and maintaining a facility to welcome people.”

With this information, a bored bartender had shattered Sanji's hope of ever sleeping on a comfortable bed... but he doesn't really care. Sanji is sure he wouldn't be able to rest anyway, for one night he can just adapt. After all, he had already slept for months inside a damp and dark cell, disgustingly full of bugs. What was this in comparison? All he has to do is find a place sheltered enough from the rain. Then he will smoke until his lungs burn out.

But all Sanji sees around him are brick houses, the small square where the market takes place during the day, a few clothing shops, a multitude of bars, and a couple of restaurants. He doesn't know where to go. Meanwhile, dark clouds have already hidden the stars and threatening thunder has begun to fill the air. Sanji raises his face, observes the rapid flashes that illuminate the sky, then... he feels drops of water falling on his cheeks. He has just enough time to blink a couple of times before a full-blown downpour breaks out.

He starts running as water rapidly accumulates on the ground and seeps through his shoes. His eyes wander between the surrounding buildings frantically. From afar he can spot a dead end with a balcony. Sanji reaches it, sits right under the shelter of it and curls his legs up to his chest, holding onto the bag containing his stuff. The rain is heavy, falling around him, creating a barrier of water that makes him freeze. Sanji goes through his stuff and takes out the black coat he had worn in Zou. It's not exactly the "coat of happy memories", but it will help warm him up a bit.

Now he just has to grit his teeth and get through the night. Luckily, he still has an almost intact pack of cigarettes. Sanji retrieves his golden lighter, puts a cigarette in his mouth and lights it. He inhales and exhales, closing his eyes, absorbing the toxic air and the fresh air of the rain mixed together. This is the first time he's stopped since he left Sunny. He fears this quiet. He fears the time he has before the sun rises. He already knows that his mind won't give him a break. It had already tormented him while looking for a ship... how could it stop right now? The bastard would have made itself heard, it would have mocked his loneliness and his situation. Because he had finally proven to the Strawhats that he was a hopeless failure.

This is why he finds himself there, on the street, like a homeless man with no present or future.

He’s human garbage.

He's Luffy's garbage.

Germa's garbage.

Sanji inhales another breath of smoke, his index and middle fingers shaking as they hold onto the carcinogenic stick. His black coat is starting to get wet from the water splashing onto the ground, but there's not much he can do about it. When that coat will get completely soaked, he'll replace it with the one he used at Punk Hazard.

Let the cold consume you.

It's what you deserve.

Sanji ignores the voice in his head and starts playing with his lighter.

Look at yourself. Alone and pathetic.

This is what happens when you get too big in your head. You believed that Luffy would always love and accept you for who you are. How could he? How could he love a grumpy and arrogant cook, a traitor who kicked him until he fainted? How could he accept a lovesick man, incapable of fighting against women? How could he accept an unreliable, scared and emotional person like you? He kicked you out and he did well.

You are weak, you are worthless.

You are so stupid that you managed to lose one of the very few good things you had found in your life. A family. A somewhat bizarre family of course, with a bizarre captain, but with an enviable determination. You even had the respect of the mosshead, even if he called you 4th placer. There was the most beautiful navigator you can find in the world, a cultured and kind archaeologist, a sniper who had known about your insecurities, a sensitive cyborg, a skeleton who could even play that North blue lullaby your mum used to humm, calming your nerves, an infinitely sweet and altruistic doctor, a brave Fishman who helped save you from Big Mom.

You had all this and you threw it away because you enjoy being an asshole to the whole world. You enjoy treating your friends arrogantly, as if you were somehow better than them. You enjoy flirting with women, bowing at their feet and getting killed by them. Even if it means disappointing your nakama. And now, after acting like a self-centered idiot the whole time, you find yourself completely alone. You will remain alone, not because you want it, but because Luffy will find the cook to replace you in the blink of an eye, your former crew will forget about you as soon as they take the first bite of his food.

They'll never look for you, dickhead. None of them will.

Zeff will welcome you back to Baratie with disappointment written in big letters on his face. That man sacrificed his fucking leg to keep you alive and push you to find the All Blue. And how did you repay him? Obviously, screwing up the only good opportunity you had.

Maybe you shouldn't go back to Baratie either. Maybe you should just disappear, let Zeff think you're dead. That old bastard would mourn your death for a day or two, but at least he wouldn't remember you as the useless kid he wasted his life on. Eventually you will be forgotten.

"Enough! I've had enough of this bullshit!”

Sanji's hands claw at his blond locks as his eyes pour large drops of sorrow down his cheeks. The cook doesn't know when he started crying. He doesn't even know how long ago the lighter fell next to him. He finds himself completely overwhelmed by a tsunami of corrosive thoughts and he doesn't know how to resurface. He pulls his hair harder, rooting to the pain and the feeling of the cold enveloping his fingers.

It's better for everyone if you disappear, you scumbag.

Drown yourself somewhere in the ocean, maybe the current will carry your corpse to the All Blue, before the fish feast on your flesh.

"I SAID STOP!!!"

Suddenly he feels his legs catch fire, releasing flames so strong that they quickly spread over his whole body igniting his bag in seconds. His eyes widen. His stuff, all the clothes and objects that remind him of his adventures with the Strawhats are in flames. Sanji jumps up, throws the bag into the rain and tries to extinguish the flames with his hands. His heart beats wildly. He didn't want to lose those memories, even if he wouldn't relive them, even if they would hurt, he needed to keep them.

“No, fuck! No!"

He frantically beats his hands on the sack to smother the fire while the sky thunders threateningly. Sanji breathes a sigh of relief when the last flame has now disappeared; so he opens the bag to check the damage. Unfortunately, a good portion of his clothes is actually burned. He swallows bitterly.

There you go, you've done another one of your stupid things. At this point you shouldn't even be surprised.

The rain pours over his still form, slides along his blond hair, caresses his jaw and meets the ground. Sanji stays there, contemplating the damage for an incalculable time... eventually he returns to crouch under the balcony, bringing the bag to his chest and resting his forehead on it.

His mind has stopped tormenting him. Now his heart claims the right to vent all the pain that he had accumulated that day. Sanji starts sobbing again, hidden between the half-burnt bag and his knees. His shoulders tremble imperceptibly as tears overwhelm him. He doesn't have the strength to stop them. He couldn't do it even if he wanted to. This is a bigger pain than him, that will not accept being silenced again. Sanji simply takes it in and lets it consume him until he can't breathe.

He doesn't know how much time he spends whining like a helpless child, but when he feels exhausted, he decides to close his eyes to get some rest. Even though the tears never stopped.

Warm rays of the sun tickle his cheeks and he yawns. Apparently, it's morning, the storm seems gone and… despite everything, he rested well. He rubs his eyes and tries to fix his tangled hair with his hands. He has no idea what time it is, but he has every intention of reaching the mustachioed old man of the night before and finding out if his friend can take him to Silvery Island.

When he tries to stand up, he feels dizzy, falls to the floor and decides to smoke a cigarette before making another attempt. Puffing the first smoke of the morning, he sees arriving the last two people he expected to meet. A boy with an unbuttoned red shirt and a straw hat, accompanied by a mosshead with a sealed eye and three swords.

“Oi! Sanji! We finally found you!” exclaims his former captain, in an amused tone.

“Luffy… what are you doing here?” His throat is dry and his body becomes stiff.

“We were looking for you!”

That smile. The tone of his voice. He looks like the Luffy he had always known… the Luffy who loved him unconditionally.

"Why? I thought you didn't want me.”

“Shishishishishi.”

He watches him laugh in his usual carefree way and feels the warmth of hope quickly spread through his chest.

“You look like a stray dog, you know that, cook?”

“Shut the fuck up, shithead! In any case, I’m still better looking than you!”

“As if I cared!”

Even this harmless bickering with the swordsman... brings back memories of a myriad of moments that he thought he had lost forever. Maybe things can still be fixed? Maybe that was the very reason he was looking for him? Maybe this time Luffy would listen to him and welcome him back to the Sunny?  Sanji feels he has to give it a try.

“Luffy I…” he begins uncertainly.

"You want to tell me something?"

Sanji nods. “I don't know if it's my right to ask you this, but I want to get back to you, with all of you. I want to be a Strawhat again and help you realize your dream.”

The raven-haired boy looks at him with an eyebrow raised, he seems confused. He obviously has to try harder. So Sanji kneels down and presses his forehead to the floor.

“Please, I'm begging you. I promise I will be a better cook, I promise to feed you whenever you need it. I promise to never attack you again and to give my life to protect yours and the lives of others. You will have my absolute loyalty. I will be good, I will never abandon you again, I will be the nakama you always deserved. Please give me one last chance.”

Zoro snorts behind him “patethic.”

“Does this mean you will fight women too?” asks his former captain. Sanji lifts his head and looks at him stunned. “Will you do it, Sanji? Will you go against your own principles for me?”

"I…"

Damn, he would like to answer yes. He should answer yes, because Luffy needs to trust him completely. He must be efficient, in any situation. But his conscience works against his own interests.

“I… I don't think I can do it… I'm sorry…”

"I knew it."

Good job, moron! You have failed him once again!

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…”

“Don't worry, Sanji. I didn't come here to take you back to Sunny anyway. My decision has never changed.”

Damn. He must have known that they weren't there to bring him back, yet that didn't stop his soul from writhing in pain once again.

"So what do you want from me? Do you want to exile me from the island?”

“I came to bring you something you forgot on the ship.”

One thing he had forgotten? What? Sanji had collected his stuff quickly, yet he's sure he didn't leave anything behind.

Luffy gives the swordsman a knowing look. “Zoro…”

Mosshead advances with a metal helmet in his hands. An amused smile stands out on his lips, which perfectly matches the cruel smile of his captain. Suddenly his heart beats faster.

“W-what does that mean? How do you have that?”

“I told you, you left it. It belongs to you.”

"No! Throw it away! It's not mine, it never was!” He starts crawling backwards, away from that thing.

Sanji begins to tremble as he sees Zoro bending over with the object of his worst nightmares firmly in his hands.

“Liar, liar,” Luffy responds, teasing him.

Zoro stretches out his arms, bringing his helmet closer. Sanji tries to step back and run away, but his body appears to be stuck on the ground. His heart is beating so fast it could explode at any moment.

“Please, no, don't do this to me! Please!"

His pleas are drowned out by the sensation of metal settling abruptly on his head and surrounding his face. Sanji tries to take it off him, but it already seems locked.

Suddenly he can't breathe. His hands begin to sweat and his eyes burn with tears.

“L-Luffy, Zoro! Get it off me! I will disappear from the island, I will disappear from your life, I will do anything you want! But please, take this off me!” He cries desperately.

“Why should we? After all, it suits you,” the swordsman replies, smiling.

The chef starts hyperventilating. The oxygen never reaches his lungs. He is afraid, he wants to be free. He wants the right to exist. After Judge Vinsmoke, Luffy and Zoro decided to deny it to him. Why? What had he done wrong this time?

“I-I'm sorry… I'm sorry I'm weak, please…”

His former captain and the green shithead turn their backs on him and start laughing. They laugh out loud as if his suffering was something funny.

Sanji's eyes snap open and his body quickly straightens up. He looks around and realizes that he is still under the balcony. The heavy rain seems to have slowed down. His black coat is soaking wet. He is soaking wet.

Suddenly his hands touch his head, moving everywhere as terror twists his insides. He touches again and again, until he realizes he can feel his damp hair between his fingers.

Damn, so this was all a nightmare? Why couldn't his mind give him a fucking break?

Sanji feels so exhausted, so tired. His eyes are full of tears again, they are swollen, red, asking for a little rest. He decides to try to sleep again. His bastard mind has to shut down sooner or later, right?

Clinging to this forlorn hope, Sanji curls up onto his side, hugs his bag again and closes his eyelids.

When he opens his eyes once more, he feels confused, dizzy, his vision is blurry. He blinks and realizes that there is someone with him. Sanji tries to focus on the image. The details appear one after another. First he recognizes a pale face, then a gentle mouth, two eyes as blue as the ocean, a long blonde braid and a yellow umbrella.

Sanji is shocked.

“M-mom?”

He hears a melodious and modest laugh. “No, boy. I'm not your mom."

Sanji needs to see it to believe it. He persistently rubs his eyes and looks at the person in front of him again. This time the image is clearer and he realizes that the hair he thought was blond is actually light brown. Furthermore, on this kind lady's face, there are some wrinkles surrounding her eyes. But the rest of her… she looks very painfully like his mother.

“Why did you sleep under my balcony?”

The unfortunate cook tries to straighten his back and compose himself. “Excuse me, madame. I didn't want to occupy your property.”

“It’s okay. I just wish you'd come knocking on my door if you needed a place to stay."

The woman places a hand on his forehead and slightly pushes aside his fringe. Her touch is as soft as a velvet glove. “You don't have a fever, but you're cold, and soaked.”

“It doesn't matter, madame, it's almost stopped raining by now and as soon as the sun comes out, I'll change my clothes and I'll be fine.”

“Are there any intact clothes in there?” she asks, chuckling and pointing to the half-burnt bag.

Sanji's heart does a somersault listening to her. “Not many, but yes.”

“You still need a hot shower, and a hot meal.”

“I don't want to bother you, really… I…”

“It's just a pleasure for me.”

If this woman didn't have the same look and the same smile as his mother, maybe he would be more resolute in refusing. Instead… “Okay, thank you. But let me prepare the hot meal to repay you."

“Deal done. Anyway, my name is Arya.”

“I'm Sanji, nice to meet you.”

Arya nods, then helps him to his feet and lets him into the house. Sanji immediately feels a strange sensation of warmth enveloping him. This house is not large, or fancy, but it’s welcoming and colorful. As he begins to look at the decor, he senses Arya's hands grasping his soaked black coat. Sanji turns and stops her, smiling.

“Oh, no. It is not a lady's job to take off a man's coat."

Arya smiles back. "As you like…"

“Can you tell me where I can shower?”

“The bathroom is along the corridor, second door on the left. You can leave soaked clothes in a basket near the sink.”

He nods. “Thank you again for your hospitality.”

After taking a hot shower, Sanji wraps a towel around his waist and reluctantly stares at his half-burnt sack. He really has no desire to look in detail at the damage he caused during the night. He didn't want to find out what memories he burned out due to his unstable mind… however, he couldn't even stay naked all day. A sigh of resignation escapes his lips.

He has to deal with this, but he needs to protect himself from his sadistic mind. Deciding to keep busy, he starts to repeat and mumble a recipe.

“To make a good pumpkin juice, remove pumpkin seeds and shell and cut pumpkin flesh into half inch…”

As he speaks, his hands begin to randomly rummage inside the bag. His eyes are closed and only reopen when he grabs what looks like a shirt. Sanji takes it out and lifts his eyelids.

The gray shirt that he had worn in Punk Hazard. Burnt.

“… Turn off heat when pumpkin softens and let sit…” he feels a lump forming in his throat but swallows it.

His eyes close again. Another item of clothing made from the same fabric as his shirts slips through his fingers. The chef takes it out and looks at it.

The orange shirt he had worn in Water 7. Burnt.

“…Pour into fucking glasses, then carefully pour milk on top…” damn it! He bites his lip and tries to ignore the pain that spreads and reaches the most remote corners of his essence.

Don't think about it! They're just fucking clothes!

Sanji gathers courage and starts rummaging through the bag again. He recognizes the long, soft shape of the pants. He takes them out and notices with relief that they are in perfect condition. He puts them aside, then he forces himself to find a decent shirt too. Still with closed eyes. After a new attempt, he grabs the blue striped shirt he worn at Baratie, the day he met Luffy. Burnt. Unrepairable. That very shirt.

“… To make bread crusts… heat frying hoil to 170°C, place bread crusts on the pan…” His voice falters. His fingers claw at his shirt angrily as he feels tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.

Why is he always such a mess?

Reciting recipes from memory is useless. Sanji is furious with himself. There is no point in prolonging this torture by continuing to fish for clothes blindly. Dipping his head into the bag, he begins to rummage more carefully. He sees a lot of burned fabric, still he doesn't try to figure out which clothes it belongs to. His breathing becomes faster, shallower, his hands tremble in the midst of that cemetery of memories… then… finally… he finds the navy blue shirt and light gray tie he had recently bought. It’s new, intact, never worn. The chef takes it out along with his tie and his underwear, then uses the rope to close the bag.

His heart seems to suddenly lighten. The torture is over, at least for today.

He can finally get dressed. Once ready, he drinks hot lemon tea with Arya, then goes out and reaches the coast of the island. The mustachioed man is waiting for him in the same spot as the night before, flanked by a bald boy, with eyeglasses and skin worn by sunburn. He says his name is Lukas and promises to take him to Silvery Island, but the departure is scheduled in two days.

Two days of staying here may be enough to get his friends into trouble, still he had no other choice. There was no other option but this. He just has to hope that things don't get complicated in the meantime. This is why he accepts Lukas' offer.

When he returns to Arya's house, Sanji immediately prepares fish soup for them both. They eat their hot meal together in the living room.

“Okay, I'll do the dishes now, then I'll rid you of my presence,” he announces, rolling up his sleeves.

“You've already cooked for me, at least let me do this,” Arya replies, smiling lovingly at him. Sanji feels overwhelmed. Once again he sees his mother before his eyes and he has to make an effort to repress the conflicting emotions that are unleashed within him.

“It's fine for me, Arya-san, really.”

With a gentle push, the woman takes his place and offers him a compromise. “I wash and you dry?”

He nods smiling, then starts drying all the plates and dishes that Arya cleans with extreme care. When everything is stored in the counters, Sanji asks permission to smoke a cigarette at the window and she grants it to him.

“Stay here, I have a bed available for you,” she says, taking a seat in a chair beside him.

“I don't want to bother you any further, Arya-san.”

“Where will you stay for the next two days? There is no suitable place that can welcome you and it saddens me to imagine you sleeping on the street."

“If it doesn't rain, it's not that bad.” Sanji knows this from experience. “You’ve already been immensely kind to me, I don't want to take advantage of your good heart.”

The brown-haired woman lowers her gaze and bites her lower lip. He sees her fidgeting with her fingers nervously. “What if I'm the one taking advantage of you?”

Sanji exhales smoke out the window and smiles at her. “I don't see how you could.”

Arya's blue eyes meet those of the same color belonging to the cook. “I’ve been living alone for four years, and I ‘ve never had any company since then. You’re the first person to spend some time with me since… my son died.”

Those words strike his heart as if a dart had just hit him. His lips curve down. This woman had lost a son. He had lost his mother. Life can be really unfair sometimes.

“I'm sorry… I… I didn't know…” he feels his throat go dry.

“You couldn't have known.”

“How old was he when…” he lacks the courage to complete the question.

“He was fourteen. Today he would be eighteen and you… well, you remind me a lot of him.”

Sanji swallows as he sees Arya stand up and hand him a framed photo. He gives it a look and notices the woman's smile when she was younger. Next to her is a happy little boy, with blue eyes, freckles and brown hair a little longer than his.

“His name was Ryu and he died of pneumonia. He was a loving and energetic child. He loved me immensely, he always intended to please me, make me smile and be close to me all the time. Some kids in the neighborhood made fun of him for it, called him mama's boy, but he really didn't care. He never stopped putting me first, even when I wished he would think more of himself.”

The cook throws the spent cigarette out the window and turns to her, to silently encourage her.

“Ryu was special. He had a particular talent that he used to make me happy and to hear how proud I was of him. He created and painted small terracotta sculptures.”

Sanji recognizes himself in that. He worked on his cooking skills for the same reasons.

“Can I see some of them?”

"Sure."

Arya rises from her chair again and retrieves some colorful satuattes from a room that had been closed the entire time. As soon as she places them on his hand, Sanji looks at them in detail, he is impressed by the boy's skill. There’s a small sculpture of a child chasing a dog, a couple of kids embracing, an adult woman with a fishing rod.

“They are amazing, Arya-san!”

“I know, he was really good at that.”

Sanji can imagine the freckled little boy working the terracotta with his little hands every day. Every day bringing the fruit of his labor to his mother… waiting for that moment when she would smile at him and let him know how proud she was. Something in his chest starts to hurt again, but he tries to ignore it.

“I would like him to know that I was and always have been proud of him,” the woman confesses, her voice cracking. “Regardless of his talent, I was proud of him from the time he opened his eyes in the morning until I put him to bed at night. It didn't matter what he did, it didn't matter if he was good or capricious. I was proud of him when he gave me his statuettes, but I was also proud of him when he cried, when he was afraid, when he got angry, when he made mistakes, when we argued..."

Sanji sees the woman crying and wishes he could hold her hand to give her some comfort, but he doesn't want to invade her personal space without her consent. His subconscious wonders if somewhere up there, his mother also thinks this of him.

Would she be proud of him, even if he had disappointed his friends? Would she be proud of him, even if he had never found the All Blue? Would she be proud of him despite his many flaws?  Would she be proud of him today too? Now? Even if he has just demonstrated that he’s incapable to love in the right way the people who made him feel part of a family? Would she be proud of him, no matter what? He would really like to know. But there is still something he knows for sure about Ryu.

“I'm sure he’s already well aware of your pride and love, wherever he’s now.”

The brown haired woman nods. “Maybe he is. He was such a sensitive boy... and I miss him so much…"

Her crying starts louder again, releasing a flood of pain. Sanji knows the suffering of losing a mother, but he doesn't know how devastating it can be to lose a child. So he stays silent and gives her all the time she needs.

“I-I often dream of meeting him… but tonight I found you outside my house. You have the same eyes as him and you called me mom… it hasn't happened to me in four years…”

Apparently they both had experienced similar sensations under that balcony. Sanji feels happy that he can somehow fill the void of this grieving mother, even if for a short while; therefore, he makes a decision that a few hours earlier he would have considered reckless.

“Okay, Arya-san, I'll stay here with you until I have to leave.”

He sees her finally release the face she kept hidden behind her hands, a small smile emerges on her lips. “Thank you, Sanji. You’re so kind."

“No, thanks to you…” because you are giving me something that I miss every day, maternal love. He wants to tell her this, but he doesn't think it's necessary.

After leaving behind the bitterness and memories, Sanji and Arya spend the rest of the day chatting and sharing recipes. Arya's mood seems to improve and time passes quickly.

The sun sets when someone suddenly knocks on her door. The woman opens and Sanji looks out. Then his eyes widen.

“Nami-san, Usopp, what are you doing here?”

The beautiful navigator winks at him. “Why the surprised face, Sanji-kun?”

“Clearly there’s a problem that we need to talk about.”

Nami stands up, placing herself in front of her nakama. Meanwhile Luffy sleeps peacefully on the Sunny's grass, after devouring the tons of too raw and too salty meat that Usopp prepared for lunch. Sanji had left the night before and, the next morning, Luffy ordered his crew to organize shifts in the kitchen until he found a replacement cook. Not even his first mate was spared from this unfortunate task.

“I can't believe our problem is Luffy…” comments the reindeer melancholy.

“There's something wrong with him, I think we all have this perception, right?”

The Strawhats nod, but Nami notices that the swordsman makes no response. “Zoro? We all have this perception, right?” she repeats, looking at him for confirmation.

Unfortunately, yes, even Zoro is aware that there is something wrong with his captain.

During dinner, the night before, he thought something was wrong with the cook. He was silent, his eyes were constantly focused on Luffy, and his smile was… strange, very contrasting to his typical gruff attitude. It didn't even compare to the smile he gives women when he swoons over them. It seemed both brilliant and forced. In a way, he was irritating him.

As Luffy started asking for more food, he immediately offered to cook him some bacon, instead of refusing and yelling as usual. Those were the first words he heard him say during the entire dinner. Everything was so unnatural. Zoro had the feeling that the cook was trying to please Luffy above all, acting as if he was his servant and not his nakama.

Since when did he behave so submissive? Why would he ever? The swordsman had wondered.

He didn't really understand it, he didn't understand why the dynamic between those two was so different than usual. Then he saw his captain get aggressive with Nami just to devour some tarts. Zoro was stunned. He stood back to assess the situation even when Sanji intervened.

“Sanji, it's you again.”

Luffy’s words sparked the suspicion in Zoro's head that something happened between those two. Something that all of them were unaware of. Whatever it was, the swordsman simply decided to stay out of it. If there were any misunderstanding between them, they would resolve it… even though Zoro is sure that nothing like this has ever happened before.

The situation became much more serious when his captain summoned the cook, the witch, Robin and the long nose to the deck. Zoro listened carefully to all of Luffy's speech, he didn't feel like contesting it, at the same time, he didn't agree with everything. Furthermore, he didn't understand why he was complaining to three of them about something that had happened more than two years ago, something he believed was now understood and forgotten.

The cook's escape, however, had been much more recent, and once they left Wano behind, Zoro thought that Luffy just felt the need to give him a scolding to remind him to never run away again. To learn to trust them. Maybe all this was precisely at the root of their recent misunderstandings. But the speech that came out was far more disparaging than anyone would have imagined.

He wanted to object when Luffy said the cook wasn't one of his best fighters, because hell, he was. Yes, he was the first to tease him by calling fourth placer after their new bounties, but he always knew that, despite his penchant for women, curlybrow was undoubtedly a formidable fighter, without a shadow of a doubt stronger than Jinbe. He was the left wing of the future Pirate King. Him and no one else.

However, Zoro bit his tongue. It wasn't his place to intervene or share his opinion, was it? He just had to trust Luffy's judgment.

He tried to further strengthen his belief when he heard his captain kick the cook out of their crew. This was… unexpected to say the least. As Chopper had pointed out, that decision was very strange, especially after all the efforts that Luffy himself made to bring that idiot back to the Sunny. A whole wave of questions began to flood Zoro's mind.

What the hell happened in the space of a day? Had the shitty cook messed up so badly that it made Luffy kick him away forever? So why didn't Luffy mention it during his speech? Or did it really all boil down to the fight that had happened between them on Whole Cake Island and his gruff ways? If that were the case… why make him pay now? Why had that boy, who was always so stupid and willing to forgive everyone, turned off his smile and decided to condemn one of the people for whom he risked his life?

Zoro didn't have the answer to any of these questions.

Just trust Luffy, trust Luffy, for God's sake!

He had to trust him because he's his fucking first mate. Because he had linked himself to Luffy’s life and dream in an inextricable way. It didn't matter if heads fell along the way... it didn't matter if that head belonged to the cook... his captain's word is the only law in force in his sacrosanct moral code.

It was for this reason that he left when he heard the witch openly plotting against him. He was annoyed by her idea to deceive Luffy with the malfunction of the log pose to "take time and try to solve the situation". How on earth were they supposed to solve the situation? The relationship between the cook and Luffy was now broken. Yes, he knew that his captain had never given any of them such a scolding, he knew that he had addressed the cook in a mean manner and he knew that he used words specifically chosen to hurt him as much as possible... but if he had pushed that far, there had to be a damn reason, right?

Well, his unshakable faith in the boy with the straw hat was destroyed when he heard the threat he made to all of them right after curlybrow's departure.

“If I find out that any of you looks for him or have any relationship with him, I will consider you as traitors as he is, and will make sure to make you pay in blood.”

In blood…

This wasn't like Luffy at all. For no reason in the world he would threaten to harm his nakama. Hell, that boy did nothing but worry about them in ways that Zoro himself sometimes disagreed with.

Then he understood... he understood that the resentment that Luffy has been showing since the night before may be much more suspicious and dangerous than he thought. Even if he sworn absolute loyalty to his captain, he knows that the real Luffy would ask him to protect the crew from anyone, even himself.

Zoro holds back a sigh of resignation when he answers Nami's question. “Yes, something is definitely wrong.”

The navigator's lips curl into a relieved smile. “Good, so we're all in agreement!”

“While we know there is a problem with our captain, we still don't know what caused it and we have no clue about it,” Brook muses, putting a bony finger to his chin.

“Do you think he's just too angry at Sanji?” asks the little reindeer, looking at his friends with an uncertain look.

“He was mostly angry with Sanji-kun, but he was also angry with Robin, Usopp and me. He complained to us about things that happened a long time ago and… I don't know, it doesn't make any sense to me! Even the matter of my punches, or Sanji-kun's kicks, he never complained before!” exclaims the navigator.

“Let's not forget the most important point, he threatened to make us pay in blood if we look for cook-san,” Robin points out in an ominous voice.

Usopp looks at her and starts sweating profusely. “Our Luffy would never say something like that! N-not even jokingly!”

“And that's why we have to find a solution,” Nami suggests, “we have to be united to do that, all of us, and we need to involve Sanji-kun too. I feel like things started with him, maybe he knows something that can help us figure out the source of the problem.”

"So? What are we going to do?" asks Jinbe, intrigued and doubtful.

“Usopp and I talked about it and we decided that we will look for him and talk to him this afternoon,” Nami explains.

“We haven't decided anything! You just threatened to triple my debts if I don't go with you!" the sniper points out, agitated.

“I'll quadruple them if you complain again!”

“But why me! I-I don't want to find out if Luffy's threat w-was serious or not!”

Nami pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. “Because with your observation haki we will be able to find Sanji-kun faster. Also, I want Zoro, Robin, and Jinbe to stay here to protect the others, if Luffy ever becomes dangerous."

“And who the hell protects us if he finds out about us?” Usopp stammers in terror.

“Relax, he won't find out about us. I will tell Luffy that we will go to the island to buy some tools that will allow you to improve the Sunny's resistance together with Franky's help. I will tell him explicitly that I will spare no expense because we both want to make amends for our bad behavior.”

“This doesn't answer my question! Who the hell protects us if Luffy finds out about us?!?”

“Sanji-kun, okay? Sanji-kun will protect us!” exclaims the exasperated navigator.

“Sanji? Against Luffy?” His face turns whiter than a sheet. "We're so screwed! Totally and irremediably screwed!”

The shaking sniper's head is hit by a strong fist. “Will you stop and have some faith in my plan?!”

“Hey! Remember that we’ll be here, and Zoro too. If we see that Luffy becomes suspicious or feels like getting off the ship, we will hold him back somehow!" Chopper offers, flashing a determined smile.

“Do you really mean it?”

"Sure!"

Nami looks at her crew with a heart full of pride and gratitude. "Great. I'm sure things will work out, right guys?"

"Right!" the strawhats reply in chorus.

Before anyone can say anything more, a shrill voice catches their attention.

“ZOROOOOOOO! ZOROOOOO! WHERE ARE YOU!”

"Shit!" the swordsman curses, jumping to his feet. "I have to go! You get the fuck away! He shouldn't find you all here together!”

While his nakama get agitated and look for a discreet way out of the aquarium, Zoro steps out and joins Luffy on the grass deck. He has a fishing rod in his hand and a carefree expression on his face.

“Oi Zoro! I was looking for you! Do you wanna fish with me?”

The swordsman frowns at him, but he accepts. "As you like."

They both sit together on the railing and cast the lines with their bait into the ocean. Luffy immediately begins pointing out some bizarre fish jumping above the surface, comments on their appearance, and tries to catch them. His usual smile shines on his lips, a smile that was missing the night before. The contagious smile of a Sun God.

Zoro doesn't know what to think. He’s confused, stunned. He begins to wonder if they've all made a big mistake with Luffy. Maybe they interpreted things wrong, maybe they should simply resign themselves to the fact that their captain no longer gets along with the cook. Zoro needs to know.

“Luffy I… can I ask you something?”

His captain turns towards him and widens his smile. “You want to talk about yesterday, right?”

"Well, yes. I would be lying if I told you that the cook's dismissal from our crew didn't surprise me.”

"I know. I know you are all shocked and upset, I understand that. But, you see, when we were in Wano, Yamato confessed to me that he had met Ace. He said he used to talk a lot about me… since then I’ve been thinking about him continuously.”

Zoro's jaw tightens, as does the grip of his hands around the fishing rod. Zoro has always felt a deep sense of guilt when he remembers not being there for his captain the day he lost his brother.

“Ace gave everything for me. He gave his life to protect mine, you know? Then I thought about Sanji, about what he did on Whole Cake Island, about his ingratitude even though I did everything to save him and his stupid family. I realized there is such a big gap between him and my brother... so I started feeling angry. Very angry.”

So this was it? Was the cook the victim of an unfortunate comparison with Ace?

“What about the others?”

Luffy laughs innocently. “Shishishi! I was a bit angry with them too, I admit it!”

“Now you're not anymore?”

“I am, but after talking to them yesterday, I feel better. I think I was quite clear with them.”

Although Luffy seems calm and convincing, Zoro suspects that things are not as simple as he makes them seem.

“How do you know that one day you won't regret kicking the cook out?” he asks, staring at the sea waves beneath their feet.

Luffy tilts his head at him. “Regret? Why should I?"

Zoro will probably hate himself for life for what he's about to say but, at least, he knows that curlybrow won't hear him. “Because he's the best cook you'll find in all four blues. Because he's annoying but he would give his life for you and our crew. Because he's a badass fighter and stronger than Jinbe, and he's your left wing, Luffy. You love him so much and I know you would do what you did on Whole Cake Island again and not..."

His captain interrupts him. “I would absolutely not do anything I did for him again. If I could, I would even cancel our meeting at Baratie,” he points out, ignoring all the pluses for the cook that he listed.

Zoro stares at him with wide eyes. Is he serious? Is the comparison with Ace really enough to make him regret even their meeting at Baratie? At that moment his previous doubts return to the surface.

“Is that why you're willing to harm anyone who tries to get close to him? Would you hurt your nakama to isolate that man?”

Luffy's smile fades as if they've just flipped a switch, his eyes turn cold. “I'm an emperor now, Zoro, I have to make sure they respect my wishes and my orders.”

"Yeah..."

The swordsman falls silent. As he stares at his line swinging in the waves, he understands that, unfortunately, the boy who sits next to him is too different from the one to whom he had promised his loyalty. This Luffy is in pain. He is furious. But above all he is dangerous.

“You know…” Luffy interrupts his train of thought. “I asked Nami to set a course that will take us to find Akainu.”

"What?" he asks surprised.

“It's been a while since Ace died and I think it's time to make him pay. Before the One Piece, I want that Marine's head for our dorm room decor."

He might understand this, but it still seems like too sudden a change of plans, even for someone like Luffy.

“It won't be easy to find him.”

“I know, it's definitely complicated since the log pose malfunctions.”

Luffy looks at him smiling, this smile is cold and calculating. Zoro suspects that he knows about Nami's lie, so now he is testing him. He doesn't want to get his crew in trouble, not for this dangerous bastard who pretends to be his captain.

“I actually saw it this morning. It seems completely unusable.”

Luffy climbs down from the railing and abandons his fishing rod. Zoro imitates him and squeezes Enma's handle.

“Oh, did you see it?” he asks mockingly.

"Yes. The log pose doesn't work. You must be patient if you want to find Akainu.” The swordsman is almost growling. Meanwhile his heart beats faster. He would never want to fight Luffy... but if the circumstance requires it, he won't back down.

Luffy's expression suddenly changes again. His smile brightens and widens until it reaches his eyes. Zoro blinks at him.

"All right! I'm sure Nami will solve the problem soon!”

Zoro watches in amazement as the boy walks away with his hands crossed behind his head, whistling. He feels a cold shiver down his back. He has to find Nami and warn her that going to find the cook is a dangerous bullshit, because Luffy knows. He quickly runs to the map room, where he hopes to find her. He opens the door without even knocking and finds the room empty. As soon as he turns back to reach the aquarium, a powerful rubber fist hits him on the cheek and pushes him against the wall of the room, crushing him. Zoro has just enough time to fall to the ground, then he finds his captain sitting on his abdomen, pinning him to the floor, and ferociously biting his thumb.

“The hell are you doing?” he asks stunned.

Luffy doesn't answer. He lets his blood drip from his finger, then pushes it into the swordsman's mouth.

“Swallow, Zoro,” orders the boy, staring at him with eyes lit up in fiery red.

Fuck! Fuck!

Zoro knows it's a trick. So he clenches his jaw, but his rubber thumb stretches and reaches to the back of his throat. He feels the metallic taste of blood reaching him and sliding down into the depths of his system.

“Stay with me, my faithful first officer.”

Those words sound muffled as the world begins to spin around him in a blur. The map room becomes an indefinite blur of colors until old images take shape before his eyes.

Ace dying for Luffy. The pain and the heartbreaking screams of his captain.

Nami rejecting him.  

Usopp challenging him.

Robin leaving.

And the cook kicking him.

One, two, three, four times… too many times. Luffy doesn't react... Luffy doesn't fucking defend himself! He bleeds, he gets those damned kicks in the face without lifting a finger, while the cook continues to hit, laughing as if he takes pleasure in it. Zoro had never seen that fight, but now he feels his insides boiling with anger.

That bastard.

That vile asshole.

He deserves nothing more than the pain he inflicted on Luffy. A thousand times more.

“Fuck that Vinsmoke trash!” he exclaims furiously, snapping his eye open again. A red glow passes through it for a split second. Luffy notices this and sits next to him, relaxing.

“Now you understand, do you?”

The swordsman sits up and feels his swords vibrate with bloodlust. “You should have killed that scumbag. Kicking him out is not enough.”

Luffy lets out a sigh. “I know, I know, deep down I'm a soft heart.”

“I don't have this kind of problem. Let me take care of it,” the swordsman suggests, already anticipating the ways in which he would make him suffer.  Maybe dismembering one hand after another would be a good start. Yeah, he would love to take that traitor's hands first. Then he would cut off his damn legs too.

“This is a matter between me and Sanji. I'm sure you can respect that, right?”

“Of course, captain.”

Luffy nods, then stands up and offers his hand to the first officer to pull him up. “Now tell me, Zoro, that log pose, is it really broken?” He stares into his gray eye.

“The log pose works fine. This is a lie from Nami to buy time and meet that shitty cook. She and Usopp will go to find him shortly.”

Zoro responds without even a shred of remorse. All he feels in his heart is the thirst for revenge and the fire of anger. Anger at Luffy's pain.

“Well, let them go. I enjoy a good hunt, let the mice have a little head start.”

Chapter Text

Sanji stares at his two former nakama, blinking several times. His eyes linger on their smiling faces. He’s afraid that this is another dream, just like the one he had during the night. Maybe he'd fallen asleep somewhere in Arya's living room, and now his head was flashing another nightmare to torture him with. Torture is always more effective when carried out by those you care about.

"Who are you? Do you know Sanji?” Arya's question almost makes him wince. He was lost in thought.

“We are his crewmates!” Usopp replies, puffing out his chest.

"His crewmates? Do you mean that you are..."

“Pirates? Yes ma'am!”

“But we're not here to hurt you” Nami quickly adds, raising her hands.

A deep blue gaze fixes on the cook's. “Does that mean you're a pirate too?”

“Not anymore.”

Usopp nods. “Our captain kicked him out yesterday! But don't worry ma'am, Sanji is first and foremost a true gentleman!"

Arya smiles softly, “I know, I'm not worried at all. Come in.” She steps aside to let the two Strawhats in.

They take a seat on the comfortable sofa located in front of the fireplace. Sanji joins them. He's still not sure if this is reality, or the deceptive beginning of a horrible nightmare.

"Why are you here?" he asks, in a tone a little too harsh.

“We told you we wouldn't leave without you!” the wonderful Nami-san's smile makes his legs tremble, something warm radiates in his chest, just like in his nightmare. No. He can't afford to be fooled again.

“So what? Did you lie to Luffy and come get me back as if nothing happened?”

Impossible, if that is the case, it would mean that he is really dreaming.

She and Usopp exchange a confused look. “Not exactly, Sanji-kun, first we need to figure out what's wrong with Luffy. We need you to..."

“Why would you need me?”

“Because I think things started with you, somehow. It's like Luffy has already been mad at you since before dinner.”

This is an intelligent intuition… an intuition that the beautiful navigator would have. She seems rational, thoughtful. This is not too good to be true, just like in his dreams. So this is reality? Sanji has to be sure, so he starts pinching the skin of his hands as hard as he can. The pain is sharp, wonderfully real!

“Ouch!”

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?”

His lips curve into a smile. He's really awake. "Nothing! Nothing! What were you saying?"

“We were saying that Luffy seemed angry with you even before dinner, or at least that's what I perceived from his words. Can you tell us something more? Did something happen between you?”

Listening to the question again takes away that small flicker of happiness that he had felt just moments ago. His mind immediately flies to the memory of his hand, crushed by Luffy's sandal. He tries to chase it away.

“Nothing special happened between us. He just came to the galley in the afternoon, he got annoyed because I didn't give him any meat."

“Annoyed, how much?” the sniper asks, scratching his chin.

"Enough.” Sanji really doesn't want to remember that moment.

“What do you mean enough?”

“You are my cook. If I want meat, you serve it, not biscuits with flowers. Next time I won't be so lenient with you."

“Do you want me to rate his anger from one to ten? He was just mad at me, period!” the cook replies, glaring at Usopp.

“Okay, sorry! I just wanted to be able to understand better!”

Congratulations, moron. It took you very little to awaken the asshole inside you. Again.

He shakes his head, trying to silence that voice. He doesn't need that right now.

“Did he say or do anything particularly strange? Did he seem in a bad mood when he came into the galley?”

Sanji sighs and forces a smile at her. “No, Nami-san, he was in a good mood. I think I made him nervous with my attitude, and I can't blame him.”

Her chocolate eyes widen. “Are you saying that until he came into the kitchen, he was his usual self?”

“Yes, he was.”

"Good! So we have a time frame! Supposedly, something happened to Luffy just when he was with you!”

Sanji runs a hand through his hair nervously. “What happened was that I treated him like shit and he lost his temper. I shattered his patience with my asshole ways, and there's nothing suspicious or unusual about it, in fact, I'd say it was almost predictable."

“So you think what he did that afternoon was perfectly normal? Understandable?"

Suddenly the image of his foot on his hand returns and Sanji bites the inside of his cheek. He needs a cigarette, so he moves to the windowsill and looks at Arya.

“May I, Arya-san?”

"Of course you can."

As he lights his little tobacco stick, Nami and Usopp join him.

“Sanji-kun, I don't want to bother you… but I need to understand when and how Luffy's problem started. I need you to tell me more.”

The smoke slips from his lips and spreads out towards a mesmerizing sky tinged with red and blue.

“Luffy's problem is me. I'm the one who showed ingratitude, I'm the one who treated him like shit, I'm the one who betrayed him and wasn't able to make up for the mistakes. You shouldn't worry so much about an explanation... I'm sure that now that I'm out of the crew, he'll soon be back to what he was."

“You are so wrong! Luffy is no longer the same, none of us can recognize him and furthermore...”

Sanji interrupts the sniper. “You're looking for some imaginative justification for what happened even though there isn't one, and you're talking about him like he's a big deal. I don't like the idea of having caused all this, Luffy doesn't deserve it. So stop it, please. I appreciate you wanting to resolve my situation, but you shouldn't question him like this. Not for me, never for me.”

The navigator steps closer and cups his face in her hands. He gasps, unable to utter a single syllable.

“Listen, Sanji-kun, I know his words yesterday hurt you, I know that idiot undermined all your insecurities and made you feel like you weren't worth a damn. But nothing he said is true, and if you weren't so focused on putting all the blame on yourself, you would see that Luffy's speech wasn't like Luffy. He would never say anything like that to you, not even if you stuck a knife in his heart. So stop this nonsense, the problem is real and we need you to solve it.”

Sanji's heart explodes with emotion, his eyes turn into two palpitating hearts and his arms shake like noodles.

“If the gorgeous ~Nami-swaaaan~ needs me, I'll do anything! You just have to ask!”

Her grip around his face tightens, her gaze seems almost authoritative. "Hey! I'm dead serious right now!”

The cook gasps and freezes. Then Nami decides to release her hold on his face.

“After you left Sunny, Luffy threatened to harm us if we ever tried to look for you or relate to you. None of us feel safe when he's around, even Zoro has realized that there is something deeply wrong with him."

This new information hits him like a speeding train. Did Luffy threaten his own nakama? Even the mosshead is worried? He didn't expect anything like this. He was worried that Luffy could get angry with them if they look for him, maybe banish them, like he was. But hurt them? Yet, wasn't that foot on his hand actually an attempt to hurt him? Sanji finally recognizes it: this really isn't like Luffy.

“If what you say is true, you two made a big mistake coming here.”

Sanji sees Arya heading to the kitchen to prepare something for them. He would like to help her; at the same time he doesn't have the courage to move away from Nami-san and her deep gaze.

“Maybe, yes, but this is also the most logical choice. Now, can you tell me in detail what happened in the galley yesterday afternoon?”

He sighs and starts smoking his cigarette again, recalling all the memories of the day before.

“I was starting to prepare dinner and Luffy showed up as usual saying that he was hungry and he wanted some meat. Since he had recently had a snack, I gave him some biscuits and he... well, honestly he seemed happy about it. While he was eating he accidentally broke a bottle of wine that this gorgeous lady had given me yesterday morning. I was furious and ordered him to clean up.”

“Luffy started picking up the pieces of glass with his hands and I scolded him and told him to get the broom and mop. I don't know if my attitude annoyed him, but suddenly he freaked out. He started punching the floor, breaking some boards."

"Oh! That's why Franky came with the tools to the galley before dinner!” Usopp muses aloud.

“Yes, I asked him to repair them, even though the damage wasn't that bad. After suddenly stopping, Luffy threw my cookies to the floor and reminded me that he is the captain and I am his cook... and my duty is to fulfill all his requests. When I tried to pick up the biscuits from the floor he blocked my hand, stepping on it... I thought I had pissed him off so much and I didn't know what to do anymore."

“You really didn't think this was out of the ordinary?” asks the navigator, with wide eyes.

“I… no, I thought it was quite fair because of my behavior…”

“You're such an idiot!” Usopp comments, shaking his head. “Luffy hurt you, he spat on everything you care about, and you didn't see anything strange about it? Did you just think you deserved such treatment?”

In hindsight, Sanji realizes that he really was an idiot. He should have noticed that this behavior was not typical of him, he should have understood it from his first grim glance, but he was too focused on himself and his own faults to understand what was in front of him.

While Sanji goes through the images of the previous afternoon, analyzing in more detail what happened, Arya joins them and puts down a tray with hot tea and ginger biscuits. Nami-san thanks her with a smile.

“I'm sorry I didn't realize this sooner. I thought I acted like a big asshole towards him when he broke the bottle of wine that lady gave me, and I didn't see how strange he was,” says the cook, bowing his head guiltily.

"Wine bottle?" Arya asks, suddenly turning pale as she bends before him. Her hand claws at his sleeve. “Who, Sanji? Who gave you a bottle of wine?”

His eyebrows furrow. “I… I don't know her name. She was a beautiful woman, with black hair and very bright green eyes. Yesterday morning I stopped her from falling and spilling her basket on the floor. She wanted to repay me by giving me the wine.”

The woman with the long braid looks at him in horror, attracting questioning glances from Nami and the sniper. “Did you accept it?”

“Well, yes… that's why I scolded my captain. He broke it while he was eating.”

Sanji can feel the woman's nails almost piercing the fabric of his navy blue shirt. “That wine is cursed! It's the devil's wine! Tell me you didn't drink it! Not even a drop!”

"What?!?" the three strawhats exclaim in chorus.

“What do you mean it's cursed?!” Nami asks.

“Arya-san, I don't understand. What does that mean?”

She takes a step back and sits next to him. “The devil's wine is a legend… no, it’s reality that plagued this island for years. It’s a bottle of wine made by Beelzebub and delivered to the victims through his servant. That woman with green eyes. In exchange she gets eternal youth."

Sanji looks at her with wide eyes. “So I was the chosen victim for that wine?”

“Yes, that woman chose you. But sometimes the wine chooses its victim on its own, and always finds a way to get their blood."

"Wait a second! How can wine get someone's blood?” Usopp asks, breaking into a cold sweat.

“Through glass. The bottle can break while you are simply holding it and cut your flesh. If the victim ingests even a drop of wine mixed with their own blood, the curse is activated. If the victim doesn't do it spontaneously, a voice creeps into their head that induces them to do it anyway.”

Suddenly, Sanji thinks back to the words Luffy said that afternoon.

"I didn't touch it, I'm sure of it!”

“Fuck!” he exclaims, furious with himself. Why the hell hadn't he believed him?

Nami looks at the woman with a worried look. “So… it's likely that when Luffy tried to pick up the glass with his hands, he cut himself and swallowed his blood mixed with that wine.”

“If this Luffy is acting very differently than usual, then yes. He did it.”

“What kind of curse are we talking about?” the cook asks, trying to suppress the guilt of having brought that damned bottle on the Sunny.

“From what I know, it's a curse that alters memories and emotional memory. He remembers events from the past differently from how they actually happened, or still worse, with different feelings from those he felt at that moment. Everything turns into anger and a thirst for revenge... and Beelzebub feeds on the blood shed and the sins of the souls that he manages to corrupt."

“That explains why Luffy is suddenly angry at us for things he was never angry about,” Nami deduces.

The sniper frowns. “So it's not a possession?”

“No, with possession the demon occupies the victim's body and takes control of it. In this case it's more like your friend's soul is still there, but it has been poisoned."

“Okay, good… I guess? Does that mean that maybe his soul is… curable?” An uncertain smile emerges on Nami's lips.

The three strawhats look at the woman hopefully, but she lowers her gaze. “That woman has served Beelzebub for at least two hundred years. And for two hundred years we've seen good people lose themselves and start doing horrible things. Fathers killing their children, kids killing their friends, or their brothers, restaurateurs slaughtering their customers. None of them were 'cured' of the curse.”

Sanji feels his throat becoming as dry as the desert. “So how can they be stopped? There must be a way..."

Arya meets his gaze and holds back a sigh. “You know how…”

The cook remains silent, absorbing those bitter words left pending. His heart twists just at the thought of having to kill Luffy. He doesn't have that kind of courage, the courage that Zoro showed when he called him with the den den mushi in Wano. He probably couldn't do anything like that with any of his nakama.

“Is there really no other way? No other solution?” Nami asks with watery eyes.

“I don't think so… although…”

"Although?" Usopp urges her anxiously.

“That woman sometimes travels and hits the nearby islands, because there are too few visitors here and the inhabitants can recognize her.”

Of course Sanji had to be one of those unlucky few!

“They said that on Silvery Island a girl managed to break the curse, about two years ago. But no one has any idea how it happened and she still can't explain it herself.”

Well. This is a hope, a vague hope probably, but it’s valid one and Sanji can help without having to hurt his former captain.

“Guys, I have to leave for Silvery Island the day after tomorrow. I can track down that girl and get her to tell me how things happened. Maybe it will help us find a way to fix the mess I made.”

“The mess you made?” asks the navigator, with a furious look.

Sanji knows what's making her angry, so he tries to change the subject and focus them on their new purpose.

“Do you have a den den mushi for me? So I can keep you updated on my investigation?”

"Oh yes!" the long nose exclaims, rummaging through his pockets. “We already thought about bringing you one to keep in touch.”

When the transponder snail ends up in his hands, Sanji finally feels he can smile genuinely. “I'm sure that by passing the information to Robin-chan, she will be able to find an answer. We will get our Luffy back, we will help him return to what he used to be."

“What do we do while you investigate?” Usopp asks sweating again. “Should we stay on the Sunny with the devil and pray that he doesn't slaughter us?”

Nami tries to be more positive, despite a cold shiver just running down her spine. “We can do it, we just have to be impeccable and hold on for a few days.”

“As if it were easy! We don't have the slightest idea of what makes him angry! Maybe, in a few days, he won't even need a reason to hurt us!”

“We will make a contingency plan with Zoro and the others, in case the situation gets out of control sooner than expected.”

“And I'll try to be as fast as possible,” Sanji adds, confidently. His slight smile abruptly fades as he and Usopp sense two menacing presences looming.

He recognizes those two presences. He knows them too well. Apparently he won't have the time to investigate the curse as he would have liked to do.

Before the cook has time to warn Arya and the others, a rubber fist smashes the front door and heads like a rocket towards Usopp. Sanji rushes, pushes him away and takes the blow for him. He feels the hard shape of knuckles digging into his abdomen, then he's thrown into the wall behind him.

Luffy and Zoro show up with their cruel grins and eyes as red as fire. Those red eyes must be the mark of the curse, but how did it hit the seaweed too? When the hell did this happen?

"Knock knock."

As Sanji tries to get back on his feet, he senses the swordsman's dangerous intentions, who unsheathes Kiketsu and begins running towards Nami-san.

"Shit!"

“Ittōryū!”

Sanji immediately appears in front of him and blocks his sword with his shin covered in haki and flames. Behind him, the orange-haired woman is shaking like a leaf.

“Z-Zoro! What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you were on our side! Before we left you said you would keep an eye on Luffy!”

The swordsman's grin widens as he presses further into Sanji's leg. “I lied, witch, just like you did.”

"What?!"

"Nami-san, the curse hit him too! You need to get to safety right away!”

“We won't leave you alone against them!”

Sanji grits his teeth and tries to push back the growing pressure of the metal that's almost making him step back.

“There's no time for this! You and Usopp have to..."

His words are interrupted by another rubber fist that hits him right in the head and throws him to the ground. Sanji gets up from the rubble, in the meantime he sees Usopp using his black Kabuto and throwing a powdery substance at the eyes of the mosshead and their captain.

“Sanji! Nami! Arya-san! We have to leave now!”

Yeah, that’s exactly what he was about to say.

"Hey! Vinsmoke shit, I won't let you run away!” threatens the swordsman, pointing Enma towards him. His eyes are closed, irritated, but he knows exactly where the traitorous bastard is.

“What the hell did you call me?” Sanji barks.

“Vinsmoke shit! This is what you are!”

“Fuck you!” he lashes out with a spinning kick that hits him square in the jaw, but the swordsman barely falters and uses Kiketsu to counterattack. Sanji steps back and dodges the sword's slashes, then the swordsman's eye reopens and Enma joins the battle.

“Sanji-kun! You can't do it! Come away with us!” exclaims the navigator with her voice starting to sound broken.

Before he can answer her, Luffy jumps to his first mate's side and begins throwing a barrage of punches in rapid succession. Sanji tries to dodge both attacks. He has always been very fast, he can do it. But Enma's blade manages to cut his side while Luffy's blows reach his cheek and chest.

Despite all his attempts to resist, he’s eventually pushed back to the ground with a headbutt from Luffy. His head is starting to pound, his ears ring, but he knows this is nothing yet. None of them are really putting in the effort. They're just trying to show him that together, they can finish him in no time. Sanji straightens his back to sit up. His gaze shifts blearily over the damaged house and the floor. He notices the disaster he didn't want to cause. The walls, the fireplace, the living room… the terracotta woman Ryu made… all destroyed.

He grabs the remains of that statuette and holds them in his hands, suffocating a strong sense of guilt. Then, his observation haki alerts him and he instinctively leaps back. In front of him he sees the swordsman with a cruel smile, his eyes bloodshot and Enma who seems to have just cut the air.

"What a pity!" the shithead exclaims, as Sanji is back on his feet. “If I would have been just a second faster, you wouldn't have those anymore.”

The cook lowers his gaze and notices that the backs of both his hands have bleeding cuts. His eyes widen in horror. Just one more second and he would have lost his hands…

“Sanji! Sanji! Watch out!" screams Usopp. He is too distracted by the idea of what could have happened and barely registers the movement of Usopp throwing something at their captain. This time Luffy dodges his small colored bullets and pushes the sniper against the dresser. Then his rubber arms wrap around Sanji's torso several times and trap him with his hands at his sides.

“What are you doing! Let me go!"

The boy in the straw hat withdraws his arms, drags him quickly across the room and suddenly stops. The cook finds himself stuck in mid-air with Enma's tip an inch from his eye and the swordsman's gaze scrutinizing him as if already tasting his blood. His breath gets stuck in his throat.

“If I wanted, I could plunge my sword into your eye and pierce your skull here and now. I'm sure not even your precious exoskeleton could fix the damage. I could finish you, and you don't know how much I would like it. But my captain wants to settle the score with you, personally, and I don't intend to disobey him."

“Shishishishi!”

Sanji doesn't speak, his entire body stiff with the effort of trying to distance himself. He still has that damned blade too close to his eye and hopes that the swordsman's words aren't just a bluff. Then he feels himself free and fall to the ground. Luffy approaches, looks at him from top to bottom, with his arms crossed over his chest.

“As my first mate said, I have a score to settle with you. And I want to fight you, alone.”

He shakes his head. “I'm not interested in fighting you. You said you wanted me out of the crew and I'm out. In two days I will leave the island and you will never see me again."

Obviously he's trying to hide the fact that he's only leaving to find a solution to his curse. If he would just let him go, he could fix the mess he caused by bringing that damn bottle with him. He shouldn't have accepted it. Or at least he should have kept it somewhere in the pantry, as he usually does, and forgotten about its existence.

“Oh, no, this isn't enough for me anymore. I want a duel to destroy you, Vinsmoke Sanji,” he replies, showing off the cruelest smile he has ever brought to life between those lips. “I want to kill you and hang your corpse from the figurehead of the Sunny. I want to see your flesh consumed by fish, salt and waves until you become just like Brook.”

The cook gasps, his heart skips a beat. He knows that Luffy's soul is poisoned right now, but the hatred he emanates and the idea of torturing him even after death stuns him like the day Judge rejected him as a son.

Does he really hate me this much?

This is what was asked then, and what is asked now. Still he can't take the time to think about it any further. Sanji decides to stand up and lights a cigarette.

“So, as usual, you won't take no for an answer.”

“You know me well,” the boy replies, spreading his arms.

“Whatever, but I want something in return.”

If he has to ruin his chance to investigate Silvery Island, he can at least make sure that the others are okay and look for the solution for him.

“And that would be?”

“If I fight you, you two will leave Usopp and Nami-san alone. I don't want the mosshead to take advantage of this to harm them. And if I win, you will never lay a finger on the crew again, for any reason in the world."

Luffy explodes into loud laughter. “As if you could ever win against me! I accept your conditions, but if you lose, I inform you right now that Nami and Usopp will have to endure fifty lashes and will be tied to the mast for a month."

The faces of his companions turns pale and Sanji angrily bites into his cigarette. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Oh, yes, I dare. Because you won't be alive to stop me."

"Fine!" he responds by taking a long breath of smoke. “Let’s fight, but not here. We've already damaged Arya-san's house enough.”

"No!" Nami exclaims with tears in her eyes. “Please, not this again! Please, Sanji-kun!”

Sanji turns and gives her a wide smile. “Everything will be okay, Nami-san, I promise.”

"Liar!"

That smile resembles so painfully the one he gave her before leaving Zou with Capone Bege. He's deceiving her again, and she'll be forced to witness another harrowing duel between two of the people she cares about.

“Lead the way,” Luffy suggests in a mocking tone.

Sanji nods and approaches the woman who had so kindly welcomed him into her home. “I thank you for everything, Arya-san, and I apologize for the harm I have caused you. I should have warned you that I’m often just a big source of trouble, but I will make sure to pay you back… even if…” his gaze shifts to the destroyed piece of the statuette he was still holding in his hand, “some things can never be repaired…”

The woman caresses his cheek affectionately, and smiles through her tears. “Life is much more important than any object. If you want to repay me for something, just survive..."

“I will,” he replies simply, with that wide smile again, then leaves her house and begins walking the streets of the island. Luffy follows him and looms like a menacing shadow over him. A little further back is Zoro escorting Nami and Usopp, keeping his swords pointed towards them.

“You promised me that he wouldn't hurt them,” the cook points out without turning around.

“And I'm keeping my promise. But I also have to make sure they don't get in the way of our fight.”

He knows that Nami-san and the sniper will be smart enough to stay on the sidelines, especially when their enemy is the swordsman, so he doesn't worry. He continues walking until he reaches the coast, the same place where he met the mustachioed man. And he is there, together with other fishermen.

Sanji raises his voice in an authoritative tone. “Everyone leave! We want you all out of here immediately!”

"What?" The fishermen look confused.

“What's going? Do you know the pirate boy?” that man asks him, frowning.

“He said go away!!!” Luffy shouts impatiently, and everyone runs away in terror.

“I hope you appreciate my leniency,” his former captain emphasizes, smiling. “As far as I'm concerned, they could have stayed here and gotten themselves killed in the process.”

"I appreciate it."

“Enough chit-chat for now.”

Sanji throws the now consumed cigarette on the ground and crushes it. “Let's see if I can kick your ass back to your senses!” Sanii spins quickly and his leg catches fire.

Luffy grins, then sticks a thumb in his mouth and blows. His right arm swells exponentially. Not even a moment later, he throws his big punch at Sanji, who dodges it with a jump and hits him with a strong kick to the neck.

“Collier Strike!!!”

His former captain goes flying from the impact but manages to stop by planting his feet in the ground. The fight resumes quickly and Sanji manages to dodge Luffy's subsequent attacks with extreme ease. His Gear Third isn't up to him. The chef anticipates him and finds the right openings to hit the opponent on the abdomen and then on his thigh to make him lose balance.

So Luffy gets up, runs towards him at a monstrous speed, deflating his arm. Sanji is on alert, anticipating another of his punches, or maybe more, maybe a Gomu Gomu Gatling. He kicks his hand away, but the other hand catches him by surprise from the side and suddenly he feels his throat tighten. Luffy’s arm swells again, much less than before, but the pressure around his throat multiplies.

He begins to suffocate him, squeezes his airway so tightly that his fingers could sink into his carotid artery.

“L-Luffy… L-let me go!”

Sanji claws at his arms and tries to somehow free himself from his grip, but can't. His own brain can't coordinate his legs to kick him away. He feels dizzy, disoriented. Luffy has never used these types of attacks during a battle. He fights with punches or kicks, he is messy, chaotic, a little reckless, yet he never tries to suffocate anyone. But his eyes have now been red since the fight began, and Sanji knows this Luffy will even change his fighting style to win.

“I-I can’t breathe, stop!”

The rubber boy nods proudly. “I know, that's exactly what I want to achieve!”

He feels him strengthen his grip using also his other hand and pushing him to his knees with a maniacal smile.

“Stop Luffy! I beg you! You love Sanji-kun! If you kill him, you will regret it forever!” Nami shouts, crying.

“Don't talk nonsense!” growls the captain, as he watches Sanji's face grow more and more blue.

“Then know that this is not fair! C-choking your opponent is not fair!” Usopp intervenes, trying a different argument.

"Why not?"

His grip on Sanji's neck doesn't release and Usopp begins to speak hastily. “Because you were looking for a duel, and a duel is an equal physical s-fight! What you are doing to him is a trick to win easily!”

Luffy casts a dubious look at his first officer, who just shrugs.

"Alright then! Let it not be said that the future Pirate King chooses the easy path!”

Suddenly the cook's throat is freed and he bends down on all fours coughing hard, trying to regain oxygen. Luffy grabs a handful of his blonde hair forcefully and lifts his face.

“This is already the second time I've spared you, but there won't be a third!”

Sanji grits his teeth, then leans on one hand to kick him in the ankle. As Luffy loses his balance, he takes the opportunity to hit him again on the head with such force that he throws him against the wall of a shop.

As the owners of the shop exit in panic, his captain emerges from the rubble and wipes the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I think it's time to get serious.”

"I couldn’t agree more."

Sanji reignites the flames in both legs. Luffy smiles, then begins to inflate his haki covered arm. Snaking clouds envelop him and hide his figure, until a more muscular and more terrifying version of himself appears.

“Gear fourth! Snakeman!”

The duel resumes. Hardened and merciless fists clash with fiery and rapid kicks. The fight becomes increasingly heated, with no holds barred. Sanji suffers the power of his captain, tries to counter it, but often fails. Many of Luffy's blows land, leaving the taste of blood in his mouth and a sharp trace of pain in scattered spots across his body. The cook even finds himself having to fix the messed-up pelvis he got after a Gomu Gomu Jet Calverin. When he hears the clang of his body realigning perfectly, he just wants to vomit. There is nothing human about that sound, he hates it, and if he could, he would much rather submit to Chopper's long and grueling treatment. Still he has no choice.

He responds to the attack with a Poêle à Frire Spectrum, a barrage of kicks from which Luffy protects himself by crossing his arms. His body retreats slightly in an attempt to resist, then he decides to definitively push him away with a punch that throws him against a fishing boat, destroying it.

Sanji gets up from the mess, panting. He's already tired of this fucking fight. He doesn't care about winning, all he wants is to bring back their Luffy, but he won't succeed if they just fight. He has to do more, he has to weaken him as soon as possible. He cannot wait for Gear Fourth's energies to burn themselves out, because by then he could be dead.

The former strawhat quickly launches himself at Luffy, moving in a zigzag, tries to disorientate him and then kicks him in the side with all the strength he has at his disposal. He sends him straight into the sky, over the ocean. He takes advantage of this to move at the speed of light and appears behind him, grabbing him.

“Now let's go for a swim!” he announces smiling.

"What?!"

Sanji throws himself into the water, holding Luffy tightly in his arms. He feels him struggling and trying to free himself, but the sea is already absorbing his energy and his Gear Fourth form deflates after a while. When the cook resurfaces, he stops on the surface, still holding his captain hostage. He doesn't know if immobilizing him and trying to talk to him will actually be of any use, he has no idea how the girl from Silvery Island was saved from the curse, but he knows that he has to try anyway.

“Y-you… you filthy bastard! T-this is also a trick! It’s not fair!"

"I don’t fucking care! I want to speak with you!"

"Speak?" he asks, waving his arms feebly, “You don't talk in a duel! W-we fight!”

“Luffy, listen to me! I know you're still somewhere in there, I know something has poisoned your soul, but you have to fight it! You must defeat the evil and re-emerge with your own strength! If anyone can do it, it's you!"

“Stop talking nonsense!” the boy growls as his red eyes glow. Sanji tightens his grip around his shoulders. He won't let him go.

"Please, listen to me! There's still time to stop before things get worse! I'm fine, Nami-san and Usopp are fine, everyone else is fine too! If only you could find yourself now, we could put this behind us without any blood or suffering!”

“I want your blood! I want your suffering! I've been craving it since I had to save your ass from Big Mom!”

“This is not true and you know it. You’ve never been like this. You love your nakama, you love me, even if I've never understood the reason why you do it."

"No! I hate you! And I regret ever setting foot in Baratie! Or to Cocoyasi village, or to Syrup Island!”

“How dramatic of you!”

“Don't you dare take the piss out of your captain!”

Sanji can't hide his smile. “I thought you were no longer my captain.”

“Fuck off!!!”

Suddenly Luffy bites the cook's hand located on his shoulder, sinking his teeth into the cut Zoro had given him.

The acute pain leads him to let go and his captain quickly sinks under the water, like a stone attracted by the abyss.

Sanji gasps and dives. Swinging his feet to reach him, he grabs him by the wrist and immediately drags him to the surface. Luffy is unconscious, so he decides to swim towards the shore and lays him down on solid ground.

“Hey! Vinsmoke scum! What the hell did you do to him?” Zoro growls, looking at him menacingly.

“He's fine, shithead!”

Sanji squeezes Luffy's abdomen a couple of times and water immediately comes out of his mouth like a small fountain. He still remains unconscious, so the cook sits next to him and searches for a cigarette in his trouser pocket. Obviously the package is completely soaked. He huffs in frustration.

"What are you doing now?" the mosshead asks, still holding Nami-san and Usopp at gunpoint.

“What do you think I'm doing? I'm waiting for him to wake up."

“The duel isn't over yet?”

"I really don’t think so."

"Good."

“Sanji-kun… your hand…” underlines the beautiful navigator, with a worried expression. He looks down and sees his bloody hand, with Luffy's bite marks. His stomach twists, but he knows that it will soon heal on its own.

“It'll be fine Nami-san, don't worry.”

While Sanji takes a few moments to contemplate the ocean and starry sky, Luffy slowly opens his eyes and coughs a couple of times.

"Finally."

“You… you tried to drown me…” he accuses him in an exhausted tone.

“You actually almost drowned yourself because you bit my hand.”

“You shouldn't have dragged me into the sea to begin with.”

“I had no other choice.”

"And now? Why didn't you attack me while I was unconscious? You could have won easily.”

Sanji turns to him and forces a smile. “I already attacked you once when you were too tired to fight. I don't intend to do it ever again."

If Luffy had the strength, he would roll his eyes. “You're so stupid.”

“Yes, it's not the first time you've told me that.”

“Do you expect me to spare your life after this pathetic act of yours?”

“No, I'm just trying to carve out some more time to talk to you, at least until you get your strength back,” he admits innocently.

“Why the hell are you so obsessed with this talking thing?”

Sanji brings his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them. “Because I want to bring you back, Luffy. Like you did with me, I want to try until the end."

“Take me back? I'm right here, in front of you!”

“You're not yourself. I know what happened with that damn wine and I apologize for focusing only on myself, without seeing what was happening to you.”

“Stop this bullshit! What is this? A gimmick to escape from your guilt? Instead of looking at your flaws, you decided that I simply went crazy?”

“I'd rather be the problem. At least I could handle my flaws. But this… I don't know how to deal with it.”

“There is nothing to deal with. Tonight one of us will die and the other will survive, end of story."

Sanji sighs and bites his lower lip, trying to suppress the hunger for nicotine.

“Why do you hate me so much?” he asks after a long moment of silence.

Even if it's stupid to ask this evil Luffy, he wants to understand what's going on in his head and find the key to banish the evil from his heart. If he wants to somehow win the duel, this is the only way.

“I hate you because you betrayed me.”

“Is it because I kicked you on Whole Cake Island?”

“And because you haven't shown a shred of gratitude,” points out the boy with the soaked straw hat.

“Do you think cooking meat for you at any time of day or night is a good act of gratitude?”

That question irritates him. “It would be a start!”

“But it wouldn't be enough to make you accept me again,” the cook deduces, looking at the stars.

"Of course not! Cooking for me when I ask you to is your fucking duty, you should have done much more, you… you should kiss the ground where I walk even just for saving your ass and that shitty family of yours!”

Sanji shrugs. “You're right, I should do a lot more, but even if I did, it wouldn't change anything. To you I'm just a traitor and an ingrate, right?”

"Right."

“Why do you want to kill me?”

Luffy turns to look at him as if the answer should be obvious. “Because I'm an emperor now, I have to make myself respected, I have to be feared and make the world understand that I'm not joking! I want you dead so that there is a shred of justice in this shitty life! Because…” he pauses and tries to calm the flames of fury that are starting to flare up in his heart again. “Why is someone like you still alive while Ace is dead?! Can you tell me why?!”

Sanji flinches, then looks down. His bangs cover his eyes, hiding the mirror of his pain. “I can't tell you why, but I'm really sorry about your brother.”

“Do you think that in a fair world, a selfish person like you would be alive? While he would have died?”

If the root of his captain's anger was Ace's death, as opposed to his pointless survival, Sanji could understand that. He could understand why this feeling had taken hold in his poisoned heart. He's not even worth a hair's breadth of Portgas D. Ace. That man knew how to love in the right way, with every fiber of himself, he had been such a wonderful brother for Luffy. Sanji, on the other hand, couldn't to do the same... because he doesn't even know how good brothers should behave.

“You're probably right, but the Luffy I know accepted me for who I was, despite everything.”

“The Luffy you knew was a poor idiot!”

“But he was the poor idiot that Ace sacrificed himself for.”

Those words hit the captain of the Strawhats, wound him and fuel the huge fire that is burning in the center of his chest.

“What do you know?! You barely knew him!!”

“I don't have to know him well to know that Ace loved another Luffy, not this vengeful and cruel version sitting next to me. Fight, you idiot, fight to be yourself again, that's what he would want from you."

Suddenly the boy with raven hair sits up and looks at him with bloodshot eyes. “You filthy arrogant asshole!”

Sanji thinks he should tremble at seeing that murderous fury rekindle in his gaze, but instead he smiles resignedly. He tried. He tried to get Luffy's soul out of the cage the devil had locked him in, and he failed. He won't give up anyway. He'll try again and again, for the sake of his captain, for the sake of Nami-san and Usopp and everyone else, even for that mosshead who got himself contaminated like an idiot. He'll try until that boy takes his life.

Suddenly his observation haki alerts him as he hears a drum-like beat ringing through the air. Sanji looks at Luffy in confusion and finds him standing, staggering, wrapped in a strange cloud again. Lightning strikes from within his body and a strong wave of energy hits the surrounding environment. Sanji feels that boy's power growing monstrously.

“Now comes the fun part,” the swordsman comments with a grin.

“Gear Fifth!” exclaims a completely white Luffy. His eyes, however, are still red like blood.

Sanji looks at him in amazement. Even though he shouldn't, he also feels a certain pride. When he was in Wano he only felt the power of Gear Fifth… but seeing this in person… is completely different.

“I really had fun with you, Vinsmoke Sanji! But it's time to end this duel!”

Before he has time to blink, Luffy reaches out, grabs him by the ankle and slams him to the ground. The force of the impact far exceeds any blow he had previously received. The pain explodes in his back and reverberates throughout his body. But Luffy doesn't let go and continues to wave his arm and slam him everywhere, even against the walls of the surrounding houses. Sanji can't react or free himself. He's… too fast, too strong, and all he can do is block each impact to limit the damage, while Luffy’s ringing laughter echoes in his head.

When that crazy ride finally stops, Sanji feels broken. Pain shoots through his ribs, back and calves. However, he manages to get back to his feet and decides to fight with all his strength. He raises his shin which ignites with powerful blue flames, then very quickly runs towards Luffy…

“Ifrit Jambe…”

He leaps forward and digs his foot into the Rubber God's face.

“Bœuf Burst!!!”

The collision between the two is so strong that it generates an overwhelming wave of energy, but neither appears to have moved from the site of impact. When the air calms, Sanji sees his foot still pressed against Luffy's crumpled and slightly bleeding face. Then he shifts his gaze and notices his ankle blocked by his grip again, while his other arm is already enlarged and covered in haki.

"Shit!"

“Gomu Gomu No… White star!!!”

Luffy's big fist hits him square in the chest, knocking the wind out of him and knocking him away like a missile. A large crater formed in the ground, beneath Sanji's prone form. He tries to get back on his knees, but his entire body is shaking. He puts a hand on his hip. He must have God knows how many broken ribs… and his exoskeleton is working to heal a multitude of old and new wounds. But it won't be enough. This time not even his steel body will be enough to survive the blows of the Sun God.

As he once again tries to get back on his knees, failing miserably, he hears the sound of sandals skipping playfully and coming to a stop at his side. Luffy bends down with a big smile on his lips.

“If I were you, I would give up. Maybe I could spare you again, as a reward for giving me this fun duel!”

Sanji claws his fingers in the dust. “I-I won't give up…” his voice reduced to a whisper.

"What did you say? I don't think I heard you!”

"I won’t give up!" he exclaims, raising his voice.

“You don't want to be stubborn.”

“I-I will never give up on you… just as you never gave up on me, captain.”

Luffy explodes into a short, loud laugh, then grins and forcefully grabs a handful of hair from the back of the cook's neck.

“I'm not your captain!”

Luffy quickly slams his forehead into the ground, widening the crater beneath him.

“I'm not your nakama!”

Another slam.

“I'm not your friend!”

Slam.

“L-Luffy! Stop!” Nami exclaims in tears.

“You’re going to kill him!” Usopp’s voice sounds desperate.

“You are nothing to me!”

Slam.

“Luffy! Please!!!” Nami's scream is music to the strawhat's ears.

“I am your grim reaper!”

One last loud crash meets the ground, then he stops, enjoying the sobs of the two traitors who witnessed it all. His gaze bends towards the blond, who is still trembling slightly and tries to lift his back leveraging his elbows. Luffy notices drops falling on the ground. They don’t have the thick consistency of blood. They are tears.

He wants a front row seat to that show, so he puts a foot on the cook's hip and pushes him slightly, causing him to roll onto his back. He's a wonderful disaster. His slashed forehead bleeds profusely, the crimson liquid smearing his fringe and running down to his chin. Pearl-sized tears are slipping from his eyes and blending seamlessly with the river of blood on his cheeks. He wants to taste them. He wants to taste his pain, his fear, his awareness of looming death. So Luffy leans in and moves his rubber tongue across his cheek, stealing a bloody tear.

Then he swallows it.

As soon as that drop insinuates itself inside him, the world begins to spin, the island seems to rotate around him, faster and faster, turning into a confused picture of colors and images that he thinks he knows. Then the memories take shape before his eyes.

Nami asking him for help.

Usopp tearfully apologizing to him.

Robin screaming that she wants to live.

Sanji sobbing silently in Germa 66's carriage.

And his food basket when he was starving for him. His desperation and fear of asking for help. His attempt to protect him from Raisin's attack with his body and a well-placed kick. His smile was warm and confident as he asked if he had won against Katakuri. He knew he would succeed.

Luffy also sees Sanji's unflinching look when he tosses him and Nami away, keeping them safe from the avalanche on Drum Island. He sees the sparkles in his eyes when he talks to him about All Blue for the first time. Then he is overwhelmed by a succession of laughter and carefree moments with Sanji always at his side.

His heart is finally calm and beats to the rhythm of freedom. He wants to jump, have fun, laugh, but feels a faint presence near him. The Strawhat looks down and finds Sanji on the ground. His eyes widen unnaturally as he looks at all the blood and wounds inflicted on his head and body. The tears flowing from his eyes hurt him.

“O-Oi L-Luffy…” the cook slurs, smiling.

A hand marked by a cut and a bite grabs his wrist, smearing it. Suddenly Luffy relives everything that had happened up to that moment. The foot on his cook's hand, the speech before kicking him out of the crew, the fight, the ferocity with which he repeatedly slammed him to the ground. Luffy is horrified and feels his heart breaking into a thousand pieces.

“I-I'm sorry I disappointed you. I-I'm sorry I couldn't bring you back, I'm a good-for-nothing... but..." a flash of pain contorts the cook’s face before continuing. “I-I was so lucky to meet you and the others. I… thank you for loving me…”

His last words are lost in a faint whisper as his hand releases his grip and slides limply across his chest. His head roll to the side. His blonde locks scatter in the dirt and blood.

For a moment, the memory of Ace overlaps with Sanji's image. His eyes are closed. His lips are still curved into a smile and his tears shine on his cheeks.

Something inside Luffy cracks. His breathing quickens erratically, his pain begins to mount rapidly like a volcano, until it explodes and overwhelms him, tearing his soul apart.

Luffy screams. He screams so loud that it could make the sky fall and the entire ocean shake.

“SANJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!”

Chapter Text

Luffy leans forward, pushes his forehead against the ground and begins punching it. Again and again. A river of tears flows down his face as his desperate screams continues to fill the air. He screams without interrupting. He is screaming with such intensity that he can feel his lungs and throat tearing. He's so furious with himself. He doesn't know how to handle this sudden load of anger and desperation that is quartering his heart. A question begins to pound his brain painfully.

"Why!" he asks someone, or himself, Luffy really doesn't know. "Why! Why! Why!!!"

Another strong punch shakes the entire coast and stirs the sea.

“What's the point of getting strong if I can't beat a curse anyway?! What's the point of everything I do if in the end I can't stop myself from hurting my nakama?” He sobs loudly, almost feeling breathless. “Why… why does everyone I care about die because of me?!”

This last thought pushes him to bang his forehead against the ground, almost as if he wanted to self-inflict the torture that he had just inflicted on his cook. Then he continues to whine, to sob, to let himself be overwhelmed by memories and guilt, feeling a visceral hatred towards himself. He thinks of Sanji, he thinks of Ace, he thinks of how weak or stupid he was for leading them both to their deaths. He lost a brother and a nakama because he wasn't able to be enough.

“S-Sanji-kun…” he hears Nami's weak and broken voice, this stops his moans and causes him to turn and look at his remaining companions.

He finds his navigator on her knees, with the watery but vacant gaze of a broken soul. Usopp is standing next to her, crying and biting his lower lip forcefully. Zoro has sheathed his swords, his head is bowed and his lips are curved downwards. This time he won't just have to deal with his own pain, but also with the pain he caused his crew.

“I'm sorry…” he says sorrowfully. “I'm sorry for everything I said to you… for everything I did… Zoro… I'm sorry for making you become like me when you were just trying to work things out…”

“It wasn't your fault, captain.”

Those words infuriate him. “Yes it was! This is all my fault! I couldn't stop whatever was happening to me!” new tears spilled from his eyes.

“You should have killed me!” he barks more and more agitated, then his eyes move to Sanji... he feels angry with him too. “He should have killed me! He could do it! He should have let me drown!!!”

Suddenly Luffy grabs Sanji by the collar of his shirt and yanks him towards him, searching for an ocean blue gaze that will remain hidden behind those closed eyelids. When his head falls back lifelessly, Luffy discovers that his heart can break once more.

“I-I… I… I was dangerous to you and everyone else! Why didn't you stop me once and for all? Why did you let me hurt you?!”

“Luffy, try to breathe...”

He ignores the swordsman's advice and continues to vent his frustration on the cook.

“Sanji is always so stupid! He believes that his only purpose in life is to make others happy and keep them safe! What about your life? What about your dream? What about you?! You gave up everything because of me!”

He clenches his eyelids and grits his teeth, his tears are uncontrollable. He doesn't really know why he's doing all this now. He doesn't understand why he's picking on Sanji again. That's how he is. His cook has always been like this. It was the beauty of his soul, that altruistic stupidity of his that Luffy knows well and that he has always loved. But he wished that this time, just this time, Sanji had behaved differently. He could have been damn selfish and worried about his well-being. He had to drown him when he had the chance and free himself and others from his dangerous presence.

He hates him for it. He loves him for it.

But more than anything he hates himself. And he would like to go back in time, he would like to have never entered the galley that afternoon, he would like to erase all those cruel words that his mouth spewed before kicking him out of the crew. He would like to take it all back. He wishes he had never fought him. He has never wanted anything in his entire life more than the power to go back in time and fix this mess. He wants it even more than the title of Pirate King.

What would be the point of becoming Pirate King now? After what he did? He would never be able to do it without Sanji by his side and in any case he doesn't even want to be. A worthy Pirate King should not kill a member of his crew. He has completely lost the right to aspire to that dream.

“I'm sorry… Sanji…”

Remorse for this useless mistreatment leads him to draw him into his arms, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Luffy feels his blond hair tickling his cheek, the last tears he shed wet his shoulder. His fingers grip his back tightly, almost clawing at the fabric of his blue shirt. His entire body is so limp, as if Sanji had accidentally fallen asleep on him. But the sight of blood staining his white clothes brutally reminds him of reality. Luffy sniffs and bites his lips hard, unable to hold back any trace of his pain.

But then he feels it. He feels it on him. Imperceptible, silent, yet so warm. He feels a small breath caress his shoulder and Luffy freezes. He blinks and remains silent. He wants to feel it again, he has to be sure he didn't imagine it. He waits a few seconds, then he feels warm air slipping from his cook's lips.

The Sun God immediately turns to his crew and stares at the swordsman with wide eyes. “Zoro! Zoro! Zoro!!!”

"What!? What is it?!" he asks running towards him. Nami and Usopp also thaw out of the numbness of pain and join him.

“Sanji! Sanji breathes! He's still breathing!”

"He does?" asks the navigator, risking a smile.

Luffy nods. “My energy is running low, so you need to take him to Chopper right away!”

“Yes, captain!”

“You two, go with him and make sure he doesn't get lost!”

Zoro bends down and lifts the cook's body onto his shoulder while Nami tries to wipe her eyes and nods with determination.

"Fine."

While Zoro and Nami run away, Usopp remains at his side.

"What are you doing? Why are you not going with them?"

The sniper smiles at him. “If your strength is running out, it means that you too will need to be carried. I'm staying with you."

Luffy looks at him in amazement. "Thank you."

He didn't expect this kindness now, and he wants to return it with the same smile... but his strength quickly begins to fade and before his body hits the ground, the darkness has already engulfed him.

Luffy reopens his eyes and blinks, looking around in confusion. He immediately recognizes his bed, his bunk and realizes that he is actually on the Sunny. For a moment he stretches, as if he had just woken up after a normal night of rest on his ship. But then, scratching his cheek, he feels a large patch, and remembers everything again. He remembers the fight with Sanji. He remembers his hands forcefully squeezing his hair to hit his forehead on the ground. His body begins to tremble as his breath gets caught in his throat.

Sanji! Where is Sanji? How is he? Did I really kill him or is he still alive?

He immediately jumps up, throwing the sheets on the floor and runs straight towards the infirmary. Crossing the main deck, he quickly meets his nakama and their worried glances, but he doesn't dwell on it.

He slams the infirmary door open, making Chopper gasp. “L-Luffy! You're awake! Are you Okay?"

The Strawhat ignores his question and shifts his gaze towards the bed. And there he finds him. His cook, wrapped in thick layers of bandages around his torso, other thinner bandages surround small portions of his arms and legs, and a last one on his head that is lost in his mass of blond hair. The back of his hands are taped and an IV is attached to his right arm. His eyes are closed, his expression relaxed. His skin, paler than usual, seems to further highlight the marks of his fingers around his neck. Luffy feels his stomach roil.

"He is alive?"

Chopper just nods, but his eyes turn watery.

“Will he be okay?”

“I… I think you need to sit down.”

Luffy frowns. “What do you mean I need to sit down?! I don't want to sit down!”

Chopper sighs and looks him in the eyes. “Sanji suffered various injuries, some more serious than others, some less serious. I found internal bleeding, some displaced fractures in the rib area, non-worrying dislocations and..."

His captain immediately interrupts him. "No! Don't start talking like Torao, because I wouldn't understand anything anyway! But I want to understand! Show me wherever I hurt him and just tell me if he will heal or is healing!”

“S-show you?”

“Yes,” he repeats, piercing him with his gaze.

The little reindeer looks at him confused. Luffy had never asked him anything like that before. Neither for himself, nor for others. Usually he fills him in with medical details, but Luffy just needs to hear if his nakama will be okay and trusts his word blindly. He never tried to understand, let alone asking him to show where the wounds are. However, Chopper knows why this time is different.

"As you like."

He transforms into his heavy point and invites him to take a step towards the center of the room, then bends down on his knees and grabs his right ankle and left leg, using the body of the captain himself to show him what he asks for. He can't do all this with Sanji.

“Here, he is already starting to heal.”

Luffy just nods. Then Chopper moves his hand to his knees. “Here he is almost healed.”

The doctor gets back to his feet and goes behind him. Luffy feels his furry hand on the small of his back. “Here, he's not in very good shape but he's still healing.”

Something starts to pinch his heart, but Luffy decides to remain silent. Meanwhile Chopper returns in front of him and places both hands on his chest, almost as if he wanted to surround him. “Here, he suffered a lot of damage. The healing process has already begun but despite his exoskeleton, I believe it will take him quite a while to get completely back to normal.”

His pain grows, still he just gives a weak nod. Then Chopper points to his hands. “Those are almost healed.”

Luffy doesn't hold back and lets out a sigh of relief which is interrupted by the weight of the doctor's hand on top of his head.

“This is were his injuries are at their worst. It's serious. And that's why Sanji is in a coma right now."

At that moment Luffy feels like his heart has just been chewed up and spat out against the wall. "Coma? Does that mean that… he won't wake up?”

Chopper returns to his smaller form and nuzzles him. "I don’t know. I don't know the potential or timing of this exoskeleton yet. I know a normal person would surely be dead by now, but we know that Sanji isn't a person like everyone else, right?” he says forcing a smile. “I… I think he will come out of it, and I will take care of him as long as he needs it.”

Luffy decides to put the straw hat on his own head and lowers it as much as possible, to hide his eyes. New tears begin to flow like waterfalls down his face again while his lips are curled in a grimace of pain. He wishes he had the space to punch something, or punch himself, but this time he tries to hold back for the sake of his nakama. It's the only effort he feels he can make for them.

“L-Luffy… you'll see that things will be fine…” says the little reindeer, sobbing.

“Can you promise, Chopper? Can you really promise me that things will be fine?” he asks him without discovering his gaze.

That question makes him flinch. “I-I… I'll do my best. Do you trust me?"

“I trust you… now you have to clean up the mess I made and… I'm so scared…”

Chopper approaches and hugs his leg, and Luffy appreciates his gesture, so, he bends down on his knees and returns the hug with all the affection possible. They carve out some time to vent their fears and emotions, but then the captain makes a request.

“Can I stay here with him until he wakes up?”

“Will you be able to stay at arm's length from him? He really doesn't need anyone jumping on him right now."

He's not in the mood to jump or joke anyway, for any reason, so he nods. “I just want to be there and see him when he opens his eyes again. Because he will, right?”

The little doctor takes a step back and smiles at him. “Of course he will, Sanji is strong. You always say that too.”

Yes, he usually says it and firmly believes it. But this time he has a clear awareness of how much he hurt his cook and how much damn effort he put into reducing him to that very state. He swallows the mess hoping to be able to swallow even a little of the anger he feels towards himself.

"You are right."

Luffy pats the reindeer's head and decides to sit with his back against the wall. He crosses his arms over his chest and waits for the tears to subside on their own. He will stay in this room until he sees Sanji wake up. The sole purpose of all the days to come will always remain the same.

Three days have passed and the Sunny is still docked at the port of the small Pike's Peak island. The Strawhats decided to extend their stay to repair the buildings and roads that Luffy and Sanji destroyed during their battle. Usopp and Franky are doing their best for all the people who suddenly found themselves homeless, and the residents seem to appreciate their efforts.

Zoro, meanwhile, has dedicated much of his time in the Crow's Nest to training, and when he's not training, he sits outside the infirmary. His captain has been locked in there for days, waiting for curlybrow to wake up and hasn't set foot outside that room even for an instant. He, on the contrary, never had the courage to enter. He feels that he would suffocate in that place. Looking at the cook, with those cuts on his hands that he is responsible for, the thick bandages covering the wounds inflicted by Luffy, and remembering that he had only looked at everything with a grin, even threatening to take his hands... it was too much. But above all, he didn't know how to face his captain. He saw him break before his eyes. When Zoro had returned to his senses, he was frozen by the realization of what was happening, and the sight of the cook looking positively dead. No, watching the result of his failure as first officer could have crushed him.

Even if he doesn't go in there, Zoro relives everything in his head. Especially when he sleeps. He relives the moment he got caught like an idiot by Luffy, allowing him to turn him into a walking danger. He relives the moment when they found the cook and the others in the house of that unknown woman. He still feels the hunger for blood that he and his swords felt at the idea of killing three of his nakama. He still clearly remembers how he had imagined in his head cutting the navigator in two, as he had done with Monet. And he mentally thanks the cook for preventing him. He remembers damn well how Enma vibrated with trepidation when she found herself just an inch from the blond. Stifling the desire to sink it into his skull was one of the greatest efforts he had ever made. And if he hadn't had the strength to obey his captain's orders, there wouldn't even be a cook in a coma now.

Zoro puts all these feelings aside when he realizes that Luffy hasn't eaten properly in days, and this worries the entire crew. That idiot got it into his head again that he only wanted the cook's food and is currently surviving on the leftovers that were still in the refrigerator. But even those are running out and Zoro decides to do something. He can't act like a coward forever. He always wanted to be at Luffy's side when his brother died, but he couldn't. Now, however, he could try to help him manage the pain and guilt that are plaguing him in this situation. Even though he's never been good at these things, he has to try. Then, after taking a deep breath, he finally opens the infirmary door.

Inside he finds the cook unconscious, pale, disturbingly still. Sitting on the floor, at the foot of his bed, is Luffy who looks at him as if just staring at him could break some sort of spell and wake him up. Zoro sits next to his captain and tries to swallow the small sense of unease he feels. He really, really sucks at this stuff.

"How is he?" he asks without mincing words.

“Chopper says his body is healing, but his head isn't good.” He notices Luffy wincing a little in pain.

“I don't think you need to worry too much, if there's anyone who has a head harder than marble, it's the cook.” Obviously his joke doesn't even make him smile. On the contrary.

“I tried my best to break him. I didn't hold back, Zoro, not even the slightest. When I smashed his head on the ground I... I was overwhelmed by this burning desire to kill him..."

The swordsman crosses his arms over his chest and sighs. “I know, Luffy, I know what you felt because I felt the same way. I really wanted to kill him when you brought him near Enma's tip. If I controlled myself, it's because you ordered me to stay out of it and give you the chance to fight him alone. And I almost cut off his hands.”

Luffy remains silent, but the swordsman notices how his eyes are filling with tears.

“We both did our shit, with him and with the others too. But it's not something we chose.”

“Tell me, Zoro, what's the point of all the training, all the physical strength we possess, if we allow ourselves to be controlled so easily by a curse? What's the point of everything I do if I’m not able to stop me before becoming dangerous to the people I care about?”

Zoro closes his eyes and tries to give a thoughtful answer. “Our strength and ambition are to protect them, Luffy. But we are not infallible, we do not have the power to defeat every threat. Because not all threats are enemies we can defeat with muscle power.”

“I was still weak. Too weak. Sanji desperately tried to urge me to fight the curse, but his words seemed so stupid and annoying to me at the time. I think I really hated him and he felt it... this awareness hurts me so bad..." a tear escapes from his eyes and quickly slides down to his chin. “I'm afraid of losing him, but I'm also afraid of him dying with the belief that I hate him and that it would be unfair for him to live, while Ace doesn't. It's such a horrible thought… I've never thought anything like it! Never! For no reason in the world!”

“I'm sure the cook knows you weren't serious and…”

“He was convinced that I was right!” Luffy exclaims, his voice cracking.

Shit. When had he missed that part? Stupid cook with his stupid low self-esteem.

 “And he's there now, he's struggling between life and death, or maybe he's not struggling at all because he thinks I'd be happier if he disappeared forever. As if his death could really do justice to what happened to Ace! What can I do Zoro? How can I fix the mess I've made? I feel so helpless!”

The swordsman is in trouble. He doesn't really know what advice to give to his captain, but he senses the urgency and desperation in his voice. He wants to help him, he wants to find the right answer, surely the cook would have one. But he… has no idea.

“I guess you have to try to get to him and make him understand that those words weren't yours at all. I still believe that a more rational part of him knows this, you have to help him firmly believe it.”

  Is this good advice? Zoro doesn't have a clue.

"And how? He can't even hear me! If only he would wake up, I would tell him!”

“Talk to him anyway. If I'm not mistaken, people in comas can still hear something, ask Chopper for confirmation and try it.”

Talk to the sleeping cook. Great tip, really.

Luffy tries to wipe away his tears, but his lips tremble. “I-I'll do as you say… but if he dies in the end, it will be m-my fault… and I… I…” Zoro places a hand on his shoulder. “I don't think I can handle it… this time I can not…”

The swordsman's heart shrinks. The idea that the cook dies gives him a sense of emptiness and agony that he thought he could no longer feel after the loss of Kuina. But imagining the pain Luffy would feel, that same pain that exploded before his eyes when he already looked like a corpse, is something none of them could handle. Days, months and years would pass, and who knows, maybe Luffy would find the strength to smile again, but he would probably never be the same. It would be a crack in Luffy's heart and in the hearts of his crew that no one would be able to repair.

“Try to think positive, captain. Remember that shitty cook is stronger, much more than any of us can imagine. Believe in him as you always have.”

Luffy looks at him, considers his words and then nods. His gaze returns to the figure of the still unconscious blond, and Zoro hopes he has been of help, at least a little. The moment of long silence is interrupted by the sudden entrance of the navigator carrying two plates of steaming food.

“Guys, lunch is ready,” she says in a flat voice.

Zoro takes his plate, while the boy with the straw hat remains motionless. “If Sanji didn't do it, I don't want it.”

“Luffy, please… don't do that again.”

“You know I only want what he cooks.”

“I know and I think it doesn't make sense!” she replies exasperatedly.

“It makes sense to me.”

“Doing this won't solve anything! Starving you won't magically wake him up!”

"I don’t care."

Nami places the plate on a bedside table, bends down on her knees to look him in the eyes and shakes him. “Luffy, his leftovers and everything he had prepared in advance are running out! How much food do you think he could cook? I remind you that the last time he was here he prepared a feast for us, then you suddenly kicked him out of the ship!"

Her words strike Luffy's heart and Zoro's nerves. “Oi, witch! Try to calm down!"

“And you mind your own business! Or are you okay with him going on hunger strike for the rest of his life?”

“The cook will wake up soon!” the swordsman growls.

"Oh really? And how do you know this?”

“I just know!”

Nami ignores his words and turns to her captain again, in a calmer tone. “Listen, what you're doing won't do any good this time. When you starved for him on Whole Cake Island, he could do something and he did. But here, now he… he can't, he may never wake up. What are you going to do in that case? Stop eating completely?”

New tears spills on his face crumpled by pain and remorse. His watery eyes look past Nami and stare at Sanji. “I just want his food back. I want him back... I want to apologize to him..."

This time her words reach the heart of the navigator, who tries to hold back at least her own tears. "As you like. I'll see if I can find anything else... though it will never be enough for your bottomless stomach.”

"Thank you."

Nami gets back to her feet and the sound of her heels fades away, until they completely disappear behind the infirmary door. Zoro decides to eat lunch later because that witch has upset Luffy again. But their quiet silence is interrupted by a new visitor. This time it's Robin.

"Can I come in?"

Luffy just nods, so Robin sits on the floor with them, near the cook's bed.

“How are things going? Is he better?"

“The situation is stable, we just have to wait,” Zoro replies.

"I understand. I really hope to see cook-san among us soon. He always had an infectious smile and the world would be a much colder place if he were no longer here.”

Luffy just nods, he couldn't agree more. But he doesn't have the courage to add anything else. His two nakama look at him in silence, admirably masking their concern towards the captain. Then Robin decides to speak.

“I wanted to let you know that I finally managed to find some information about this devil's wine in one of my books.”

The raven-haired boy looks from Sanji to Robin. “What did you discover?”

“I can confirm everything we already know. It is a legendary wine, produced by Beelzebub. The woman who hosted cook-san said that her servant has been here in Pike's Peak Island for two hundred years, but it seems that this curse has been around for at least nine centuries. There are mass murders and persecutions throughout history that are attributable to the devil himself thanks to this wine. His characteristic bottle is often seen in the paintings of the greatest despots of the past. This is a truly powerful form of curse, created to corrupt the souls of the most valiant and generous men. And shed as much blood as possible.”

Suddenly Luffy sees Sanji's blood spread in a large stain that infiltrates between the cracks in the ground and dyes the small stone fragments crimson red. He remembers feeling profound pleasure at that vision. Now, however, he feels bile rising in his throat.

“I believe that, although the wine was intended for cook-san, the devil saw in you a more palatable prey, an emperor of the sea through whom he could bring about a new age of terror. That's why you were chosen."

So, if Sanji had failed to save him, he would have become a danger not only to his own crew, but also to the entire world. The idea of becoming the Pirate King just to shed blood and pain is something he doesn't want to think about for even a moment.

“Did you manage to find out how it works?” Zoro asks.

"Sure. It's quite a fascinating process to be honest. The bottle is haunted. Cut the flesh to mix the wine and the victim's blood. It’s said that the voice that should urge you to ingest that concoction belongs to Beelzebub himself. Once the curse is activated, blood, heart and mind are poisoned by evil, memories are altered as well as the emotions felt.”

“Okay, but why was I cursed? How was this possible if I didn't drink that damn wine?”

“As I told you, Luffy's blood was also poisoned. By drinking a drop, you were not cursed like him, but you were inextricably linked to his curse. You shared the same memories and feelings with him. And of course, as soon as the original curse was broken, you came to your senses. It would have been impossible to do the opposite though. Saving you didn't mean saving Luffy too."

At that moment, an important question flashes in the captain's mind. “How was I saved, Robin?”

The blue-eyed woman shifts her gaze to Sanji and a small smile emerges between her lips. “Unfortunately there is no answer to this question in the books, but I listened to how things went and I think I have my own hypothesis about it.”

“And that would be?” the swordsman urges her.

“The key was love.”

"Love?" Luffy asks, blinking.

"Yes. You believed that drinking cook-san's tears would feed you with his fear, his desperation, who knows, maybe you even expected a hint of hatred. Instead his tears were full of love, and only love in its purest form can defeat evil."

Luffy lowers his gaze and doesn't even try to hold back the pain and gratitude that run salty drops down his cheeks. He feels lucky, he feels guilty, he feels heartbroken. A tornado of different feelings is hitting him as his body is petrified by its power.

“Thanks… for letting me know…” he slurs.

“You're welcome, but I'm sure a part of you was already aware of it, right?”

Probably yes. That answer was probably buried somewhere inside him, but he didn't have the courage to listen to it. To think that Sanji loved him that much, despite all the pain he had inflicted on him, was a thought that scared and comforted him at the same time.

"Well. After hearing all this, I'm even more convinced that I want to kill the woman who delivered that damn wine to the cook. Even if it doesn't solve anything, even if tomorrow there will be another servant in her place, at least I can make her pay for trying to ruin our lives, and I will rid Pike's Peak Island of her presence."

Zoro jumps up and graps Enma's grip. “Captain, do you want to come with me?”

“I prefer not to, but you can go if you want. I won't stop you."

Robin gets to her feet too. “I'm joining you, swordsman-san, I really want to meet this woman and let her know what I think of her reprehensible actions.”

"Fine."

They both exit the infirmary, leaving behind their shattered captain and comatose cook.

That same evening, the two strawhats demons search the island and find the devil's servant. Although she possesses some weak power, her head falls and her bones are broken mercilessly.

Sanji floats in the darkness. For how long, he doesn't know. Space and time seem like undefined concepts there. He only feels the emptiness, the silence, the calm around him. He was really getting used to this feeling, he was almost starting to like it, because his mind was at peace. It hadn't begun to torment him with useless thoughts and worries. But then, suddenly a dazzling white light appears in front of him and sucks him in.

When he opens his eyes, he finds himself in the middle of an enormous prairie, a vast green expanse, full of wildflowers, small buzzing bees, a stream sparkling under the reflections of a warming sun. The sky is clear, free of clouds. He thinks it's a really beautiful place, ideal for a picnic, perhaps. Now he no longer misses the emptiness. He sees a small black and white butterfly fluttering from afar. He feels the need to chase it, he walks quickly in its direction, until the butterfly begins to spiral around him, then glides onto his shoulder. Sanji smiles, approaches a finger carefully and the butterfly settles on it.

He is dazzled again, and when the strong white light fades, he sees from afar a woman in a blue dress, blond hair and pale skin. From behind.

His heart begins to beat furiously in his chest. He knows that figure. He knows that long mane of golden hair. He hasn't seen her for a long time, but this time he knows that this is not an illusion due to his tiredness. He quickly runs towards that woman and she turns to him, showing off a big, loving smile.

“My son, Sanji.”

“Mom…” his steps slow down until they stop a breath away from her. He stares at her in amazement as he feels her delicate hand rest on his cheek.

"It's nice to see you again."

Sanji immediately throws himself into her arms, holds her tightly and lets himself be overwhelmed by a river of childish tears. His head sinks into her neck. He can smell her sweet, enveloping scent again. Her hand strokes his hair delicately, her fingers play with some of his locks at the back of his neck. He feels so happy, protected and loved, as he hasn't felt in a long time.

“I missed you so much…” he admits sobbing.

“I missed you so much too. You can't even imagine how much."

Sora takes the time to hold her baby tightly, for as long as she can, like when he would jump into her bed seeking her comfort. She silently welcomes his joy and his pain, but then dissolves the embrace and presses a kiss on his forehead.

“Now let me look at you properly.” He sees her fixing the collar of his white shirt as her blue eyes peer at him closely. “You're so tall now. And beautiful. You look like a prince. Nothing like Germa wanted to make you, you're like a prince from fairy tales, like the ones you read as a child.”

Her words make him smile, but the more Sanji observes her and this peaceful prairie, the more a worrying doubt creeps into his mind. “I'm here with you because I died after the fight with Luffy, right? It's not one of my bizarre dreams..."

“I'm sorry but I can't answer that question.”

Sanji doesn't need the answer. He knows it. He feels it. All that time spent floating in the dark is a clear indication of what happened to him. The awareness of death begins to spread into every corner of his consciousness, and normally he wouldn't care, but this time there is a thought that grips his chest and begins to crush his heart.

“I… I failed again. I died and now my crewmates are left with Luffy in that state... Nami-san, Usopp... they must have suffered those lashes because of me... I wasn't able to save anyone..."

Sora gently caresses his cheek and tries to lock his gaze with hers. Her son is about to get lost in another spiral of desperate thoughts, but she won't let that happen.

“Sanji, don't worry. Luffy is back to his senses and the others are all fine."

"Really?" he asks, his eyes widening.

"Really. You saved them all…” Sora places a hand on the center of his chest. “You succeeded because you are a concentration of love and kindness that is capable of defeating even a curse.”

At that moment Sanji's heart lightens considerably. “This means I can stay with you knowing that they are okay.”

His mother moves a lock of hair from his eye. "Is this what you want?"

“Of course I do.”

"Why?"

“Because now that the problem is settled, all of them will be able to move forward and achieve their dreams, especially without a burden like me to worry about. And I know when Luffy was talking he wasn't himself, but I think he was right about being a better Pirate King without me."

“A burden…” she repeats, while a flash of pain crosses her eyes. “These are Judge’s words. It's his fault that you continue to think of yourself as a burden in other people's lives, and I hate his guts for it. And for so much more.”

Her words startle him, but Sora's expression transforms into pure determination. “You are not a burden to anyone. The people who love you want to care about you, just as you care about them, and there's nothing wrong with letting them. Love is a mutual give and take, Sanji, it's not a feeling that should consume you until you have nothing left to offer."

“I… I… I guess you're right…” he replies, lowering his gaze. She lifts his chin slightly with two fingers.

“I won't push you to make one choice over another. What happens from this point on is your decision and I don't want to interfere. Just know that whatever you do, wherever you are, I will always be happy and proud of you.”

Those were the words he always wanted to hear. Sanji feels overwhelmed by a wave of joy and affection that he would like to never let go. But as his lips curl and his eyes fill with tears, almost like a sign from God, he hears the heavy roar of a hungry stomach.

“W-what is this?” he asks, looking around.

“You know what it is,” her mother replies, smiling.

“That rubber idiot, is he starving himself again?”

"Who knows. I guess you'll have to try to find out for yourself!”

Sanji nods and feels an important new awareness burning in his chest. He doesn't want to lose Luffy. He doesn't want to lose his crewmates; he doesn't want to lose Zeff and all the other idiots who raised him at Baratie. He wants to see them again, to feed them again, and again, and then let them feed his hunger of affection.

“I… I think I have to go,” he confesses, trying to sound confident.

Sora gives him a wide smile. “I'm glad you made this decision, because this is not yet the time to be together. You still have so much to do and accomplish, my son.”

Another roar of hunger fills the air, and Sanji realizes he doesn't have much time left. "I love you mom…"

"I love you too. Immensely. But now go back to your friends.”

Sanji presses a kiss to her cheek, tries to hold back his tears and returns her same broad smile. Then he turns his back to her, with his heart tugging him a little in her direction, but he ignores it. He starts running along the prairie, as fast as he can. He tries to follow the sound of that hungry stomach. He moves without a precise direction. He doesn't know exactly where he should go, or what he should look for. He won't find Luffy in this place, but there must be a way to leave. The cook continues running following that sound he knows all too well, until he finds a wooden door in the middle of nowhere with Sunny's lion head.

He did it. This must be the way to leave the prairie behind him. Sanji is out of breath, but smiles. As soon as he places his hand on the handle, a male voice surprises him from behind.

“Hey, Sanji!”

The blond turns and, to his shock, finds Luffy's brother, with a hand on his hat and a bratty smile.

“Ace!”

“Can I ask you for a favor?”

"Sure."

“Can you tell my idiot little brother to stop whining? That none of what happened was his fault? And remind him that I'm always by his side, it's just that he can't see me.”

“I'll tell him, I promise.”

"Thank you!" he gives him a thumbs up, then vanishes like dust blown away by the wind.

Sanji looks back to the door, and taking a deep breath, turns the handle. A new wave of light hits him and everything turns white.

Chapter Text

Sanji opens his eyes slowly and tries to focus on the foggy image before his eyes. He recognizes the warm light and wooden ceiling of the infirmary. But the images are not yet clear when he feels a searing pain that pounds in the center of his head and spreads across the back. He feels dizzy, his ears are ringing and he also feels nauseous. A small, pained moan escapes his lips.

Then he sees a crying but happy reindeer swoop before his eyes. “S-Sanji! You woke up!"

“Chopper…” he forces a smile, but it's a little difficult.

"Oh! You have a headache, right? Just give me a moment!”

Sanji nods slightly as the little doctor begins to rummage through the shelves. He tries to move his gaze slowly and notices all the bandages surrounding his torso, the IV line, and a red and blue stain crowded against the wall. He narrows his eyes to see more clearly. The contours and colors of that spot group together and concentrate towards the center, thus forming the clearest image of…

“L-Luffy…”

“Sanji…” he replies in a whisper.

His black eyes are watery and his mouth is wide open. Sanji wants to say something but Chopper leaps to his side and hands him a glass of water and a pill.

“Here, this is a painkiller that will help with your headache.”

"Thank you."

The little doctor helps him to lift his head slightly and swallow the water along with the pill. Then he lays him back on the pillow.

“Luffy, please. Stay back. Before you can do or say anything, I need to check him over and make sure he's okay.”

His captain doesn't move a single muscle. He looks petrified. The only movement he sees is a tear slipping from his eye and crashing onto the floor. Sanji's stomach twists.

“Hey, Sanji, please look at me.”

The cook decides to collaborate and lets him carry out all the necessary checks, but he feels a weight pressing on his heart and he doesn't know how to get rid of it. He therefore tries to ignore it. When the quick checks are over, he sees the reindeer stand back and sigh in relief.

“Yes, you seem fine. Welcome back!”

"I’m glad to be back."

“You really kept us on our toes for a week, you know?”

"A week?" he repeats confused. Has he really been out that long?

“Yes…” the little reindeer replies, sniffing.

At that exact moment, almost as if someone had just given him permission to collapse, Luffy falls to his knees and begins to breathe rapidly, while a river of tears pours down his face.

Sanji gasps and looks at him as he raises his face and covers his eyes with his arm. Then he starts screaming. He screams loudly, and cries, heartbreakingly, and repeats his name countless times. Sanji is speechless. He has never seen his captain break like that and it hurts him.

“Oi, Luffy, stop it please… don't be like that…”

His sobs and small convulsions don't stop, however, Chopper approaches him and manages to free his face.

“Try to breathe Luffy, breathe. He's fine now. Everything went well, things can only get better from this point on.”

Even though the reindeer is also a mess of tears and snot, he tries to encourage him with a hug.

Sanji feels crushed and helpless. His mind is haywire. Totally shocked by this outburst coming to life before his eyes. He didn't know that his captain's pain was of this magnitude, and if he had known, he would have done everything to wake up earlier and relieve him of this suffering. He feels tears prickling at the edges of his eyes, but he suppresses them.

“Oi, idiot, look, I'm fine. I know that you’re strong and you’re the Sun God, but don’t forget that I am a damn tough nut to crack."

His words finally seem to reach him, and the boy in the straw hat tries to stop the crying as he looks back at him through his tears.

"Here you are. That's better. There's no need to despair like that. After all, I'm here, right? And I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to."

“I-I won't. I-I'll never do it again..." he replies, stuttering and rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, well, how unfortunate. Does that mean I'll be stuck with you for the rest of my life?”

“Yes,” he replies, more confident.

Sanji smiles at him and Luffy moves to his side, to take his hand. “I-I have to apologize for so many things… and I was afraid I wouldn't have the chance to do it…”

“And yet you can do it. But I want you to get yourself together first, and above all, I want you to eat. I heard your annoying stomach moaning even while I was unconscious.”

His eyes widen. “Did you even hear me when I was talking to you? Zoro told me to try and I did but... I didn't know if..."

He shakes his head. “I didn't hear anything, but it doesn't matter. You can tell me anything you want as soon as you eat something.”

Luffy frowns. “I only want your food, and if you can't cook, I will wait for you.”

“And instead you will have to eat whatever is in the kitchen. I don't want you to stay hungry.”

“I refuse,” he replies firmly.

“And I refuse your refusal!” his words can almost make him smile. “This obstinacy of yours is useless.”

"It is not. Sanji believes that anyone can easily replace him, and I let him believe that, but that's not the case. I only ever want Sanji's food."

The cook looks at him in amazement. Was this the reason why he had been starving until then? To prove that he was irreplaceable to him? He feels a big lump forming in his throat.

“Okay…” he turns to the little doctor, “Chopper, I know after a week it's almost impossible, but can you check if there's anything left on the shelves? Or in the pantry?”

"Yes, sure!"

As the reindeer leaves the infirmary, he looks at Luffy in silence. He only then notices that he is indeed thinner than usual, but not as dramatically as he was on Whole Cake Island. This means that the leftovers must have nourished him at least a little. Luckily he had also prepared some meals in advance.

"Here I am!" Chopper exclaims, carrying a glass jar in his hands. “I found these cookies, you made them, right?”

Sanji immediately recognizes those cookies. Luffy does it too. They are the same ones that he had given to his captain that afternoon, when things started to go wrong...

“Yes, I made them.”

"Give them to me!" Luffy stretches out his rubber arms and takes hold of the jar.

He doesn't waste even a second. He removes the glass lid and immediately starts eating the biscuits, one after the other, with his typical voracity. New tears begin to flow again on his cheeks swollen with food, but the boy does not falter and devours all the contents. Sanji looks at him and hopes that they can start again from here. From those biscuits that had marked the beginning of disaster.

"Are they good?"

“Yummy! Sanji's food is the best!” Luffy's smile finally shines again and Sanji feels his heart do a somersault.

“I'm glad, but I still don't think I'll be able to cook you anything for a while.”

Chopper nods. "It’s true. Sanji needs to rest for a few days, it's too early to put him to work."

Luffy immediately becomes serious again. “Okay, like I told you, I'll wait for you.”

“I don't want you to do this. I get the point, and I appreciate that you don't want to replace me with someone else, but I also don't want you to starve because of me.”

“I'm not doing this because of you. I do it because it's what I want."

Sanji sighs and puts a hand to his forehead. The bandages surrounding his head seem quite thick. “Then eat because I ask you to. You know I don't like leaving people hungry. But if I can't do anything to feed them, I'd rather have someone else take care of them.”

"I do not…"

The cook interrupts him. “You can eat here with me, as many times as you want. And I'll tell you how I would make the meals you're eating, or how I would fix them. Deal?”

His captain scratches his cheek for a few seconds, then nods. “Deal.”

Having quickly made this agreement, Chopper decides to gather the rest of the crew in sickbay to meet their awake cook. Many of them show up with tears in their eyes. Nami and Usopp in particular, look pained and in disbelief, and Sanji feels a small pang in his chest.

“P-please Sanji-kun… don't ever do anything like that again,” the navigator says, sobbing. He feels her hand squeezing his, while the other strokes a few locks of his hair. Sanji is stunned. Maybe he just forgot how to breathe.

“I'm sorry… I don't understand. What shouldn't I do anymore, Nami-san?”

“Don't trap yourself in a situation where you know you can't come out on top. Don't lie to me when you know things will go wrong... don't ever try to reassure me with that smile again..."

"Oh."

“And never sacrifice yourself for all of us again!” Usopp exclaims angrily. This is something Sanji can't promise. It doesn't matter how furious they are with him. He will always try to protect the crew, in every way possible.

“I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean to make you feel bad like this. I was just trying to help you and Luffy."

“Next time, when I tell you we have to leave, you leave with us!”

“Okay, I'll try to remember.”

Sanji gets more lectures. More or less from everyone, more or less similar, but all in all he doesn't mind, because they are showing how much they care about him. The only one who, for the first time, has nothing to reproach him for is the mosshead, who stops on the threshold of the door only when all the others have left.

“Cook, I…”

Sanji tries to relieve him of this embarrassment. “You don't have to tell me anything, marimo, I know you weren't yourself.”

“I still tried to hurt you. I almost cut off your hands while you managed to protect the crew. You did what I should have done and it is only right that I apologize for this.”

His words fill him with pride. It's not often you hear something like that from Roronoa Zoro.

“I will only accept your apology if you give me a rematch, just you and me,” he replies with a sneer, and this is enough to ease the swordsman's guilt.

"With great pleasure."

“You'll see, next time I'll kick your ass.”

“Don't count on it too much, cook.”

Sanji and Zoro exchange a brief knowing smile, then the swordsman walks away, leaving him and his captain alone in the infirmary. It's time to talk seriously to Luffy and face his pain again.

“So, you said you wanted to talk to me, right?” he asks, smiling encouragingly.

“I… yes… I wanted to apologize.”

Sanji turns on his side to look at him better. His ribs hurt, but he can handle it. "Why?"

His question shocks him. “For so many reasons, I don't even know where to start...”

“You know, Luffy, as far as I'm concerned, your apology is unnecessary. I know what happened to you and I know that you suffered a lot because of the curse. If anyone should apologize it's me."

His black eyes reflect his disappointment. "You?"

"Yes, me. I shouldn't have brought that wine on our ship. Besides, I was the recipient of it. I should have been in your place, and maybe it would have been better... because I already had a deal with mosshead. In Wano I made him swear that if I ever lost myself, he would have to kill me. He would have understood that what I feared had happened to me, he would have resolved the situation quickly, and now you wouldn't have this feeling of guilt."

“Did you ask this? To Zoro?” he looks almost horrified.

"I did."

“Well, I'll order him to forget that promise. If something like this ever happens to you, for any reason, we will all look for a solution together. Just like you tried to do to me.”

Sanji appreciates it, but Germa's science isn't exactly like a curse... it can't magically disappear with a little love or kindness. He doubts that there can be any solution other than death. However, since Wano, his situation seems under control, so he is really trying not to think about it. Luffy doesn't even need to worry about that now, he's already broken enough.

“And now I want to apologize to you properly,” says his captain, pulling him out of that tangle of thoughts. “First of all, I apologize for what I said and did when I entered the galley. I apologize for my unfair and cruel words when I kicked you out from the Sunny. Sometimes I still hear them echoing in my head and all I wish I could do is go back and bite my tongue. I'm sorry... for telling you that you're useless, because you're not. I'm sorry I told you you were weak. I'm sorry I agreed with Judge... it was all so stupid and wrong..."

"You don’t have to worry. If you think even one of those things in your heart, I would understand.”

"What? No! Never! I never thought of them!” he exclaims almost panicked.

“Then there's no problem. It's enough for me to know that you still consider me worthy of being part of your crew."

“You are more than worthy of being part of my crew, Sanji. And Whole Cake Island didn't change anything in this sense, in fact, it just made me realize how much I need your support to become the Pirate King.”

A small smile appears on the cook's lips. "I'm glad to hear it."

Luffy shakes his head. "I have not finished yet. I want to apologize for all the harm I did to you, for almost strangling you... for fighting against you with that ferocity that doesn't belong to me. I want to apologize for telling you that I'm not your nakama, nor your friend... I want to apologize for almost killing you inside and out... I... I just want to..."

Suddenly he freezes and gets lost in his thoughts. The images of his hand in Sanji's blond hair repeat in his head as he mercilessly slammed his forehead against the ground. He can still see how the blood stain under him widened after each blow. And he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it so much, because he wanted to destroy him again, and again. Then he remembers those words that were so painfully similar to Ace's.

“I'm a good for nothing…”

“Thank you for loving me…”

And his last smile.

Sanji notices the tears streaming down Luffy's face as his breathing begins to become more rapid and shallow. He knows what's happening. His mind is hurting him with memories. He needs to pull him out of that dangerous spiral.

“Oi, Luffy, look at me I'm here. I'm in front of you and I'm fine.”

“You almost died… because of me… just like Ace…” his gaze seems lost, empty. Sanji starts to worry, so he reaches out and tries to shake his shoulder.

“Ace didn't die because of you, and I'm alive.”

Suddenly his eyes come alive with the flame of anger. “He died because of me! You almost died because of me! Because I'm the weak one. I'm the one who wasn't able to fight that stupid curse!”

“You couldn't do it, it would have been impossible for anyone to do it.”

“But I had to do it! I can't afford to fail like this, because when I do, it's always others who pay the price!”

His words hit him right in the heart. Sanji knows the nature of those thoughts, but he never imagined that one day it would be his captain who expressed them.

“Luffy, you have always done so much for all of us. You have performed true miracles. You saved me, Nami-san, Robin-chan, Chopper, and whoever you recruited into this crew. You gave us a home, a family, a better life, a purpose. You gathered a group of hopeless scoundrels and gave us the courage to dream. You gave me the courage to seek the All Blue... and I can never thank you enough for this. But sometimes we are destined to fall along our journey, it happens, the important thing is to get up stronger than before and you can do it, because we all will help you. I promise you."

He sees the captain sobbing and sniffling at him. It hurts him to see him so vulnerable, so dejected, so different from his always confident and positive self. He is the sun of the Strawhats, the driving force of the crew, an unstoppable hurricane of chatter and laughter. But now he is just a boy who reproaches himself for not having been enough and who cries for faults that he doesn’t have.

“S-Sanji, I…”

The cook looks at him with a worried look.

"I…"

Suddenly Luffy rests his head on his bed, grabs his wrist forcefully and lets himself be overcome by desperation.

“I swear to you that I never thought you had to die in Ace's place!!!” he yells almost angrily, making Sanji flinch.

"I swear! Sanji!!! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to say something so terrible!!! I would never think that! Never! Never! Not even for a moment!!!” The cook blinks, and for the first time allows himself the freedom to let his tears flow too.

“I know… Luffy, don't worry…”

“NO! YOU DON’T KNOW! I know you need to hear this!!!” he yells again, tightening his grip on his wrist. Sanji is stunned by the fear that leaks into Luffy's voice. The fear of making him feel unwanted.

“The only thing I wish is that Ace hadn't died at all! But I swear to you, I swear, Sanji, I don't want to lose you for any reason in the world!!!”

His captain's outpouring tears his heart apart, and he wishes he could hug him tightly, but his stupid body doesn't have the strength; therefore, he places a hand on his raven hair and tries to calm him down.

“Please believe me!!! I'm telling you the truth! I wasn't myself and I-I'm sorry! I’m so sorry! I would like to take it all back!!! Sanji, believe me!!!”

“Of course I believe you, because I know what you are like, I know you would do anything for me or any of your nakama. I know you love me like few people in the world have managed to do. I owe you everything I am and everything I will become. And I love you too. So please don't cry anymore." Sanji tries to wipe his eyes and gives him a wide smile.

“Y- you believe me?” he asks surprised.

"100%."

“B-but you said I was right when I talked about you and Ace the other day...”

“You know I'm a bit dramatic too! And I don't need a curse to be one,” he replies jokingly. Then he gets more serious. “If I could give my life to give you your brother back, I probably would. But then I think about how much you would hate me if I did something like that.”

“I would hate your guts,” he replies irritably as he tries to blink away the tears and compose himself.

"I know."

“And I would follow you to hell just to punch you!”

“Yeah, I get the point, no stupid sacrifices!” he replies smiling.

“So… are you aware that I care about you? Any doubts about it?”

“No doubts, captain.”

This seems to calm Luffy's mood, and he begins to scrutinize him with his large black eyes.

“Can… can I sleep with you tonight?”

"Of course you can."

Luffy begins to climb onto his bed and Sanji immediately makes room for him. He sees him lying on his side, with his eyes fixed on him and one hand resting on his wounded chest. He knows what he's looking for. He wants to feel his heartbeat between the fingers.

“Do you promise not to snore or spread yourself too thin?” the cook pokes his rubber forehead.

“I'm sorry, I can't promise that,” Luffy replies, cracking a smile.

“Great, I foresee a really complicated night! Now try to get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.”

Finally he sees his captain close his eyes and assume a relaxed expression. So he decides to tell him the words that his brother sent him to say. He hopes this will help him find a concrete sense of peace.

“Oi, Luffy.”

“Hm?”

“I… I think I met Ace, or maybe I dreamed about him, I couldn't say.”

"Really?" he asks, reopening his eyelids.

"Really. He told me that you have to stop whining, that you are not at fault and that he is always by your side, even if you can't see him."

His lips curl, his eyes become shiny again, and he remains silent for a few moments. Then a genuine smile spreads across his mouth.

“Thanks for telling me, Sanji.”

Four days have passed since curlybrow woke up, but Luffy still hasn't left the infirmary. The cook at least managed to convince him to eat the food cooked by the others, even to take a shower, but that was the maximum result achieved. His captain still doesn't seem to be in a good mood. He smiles little, doesn't laugh, gets sad when you least expect it, casually gets lost in his thoughts. He seems like a shadow of his former self and all the Strawhats are worried about him. What happened because of that wine must have affected him deeply, and Zoro would like to understand how he can get him out of this dark time.

For this reason, he decides to talk to the only one of them who was at Luffy's side when Ace was killed. Jinbe. He joins him near the figurehead of the Sunny, where he appears to be meditating, with his arms folded.

“Oi, Jinbe, do you have a minute?”

"Sure."

“It’s about Luffy…”

“I figured you were worried too.”

"You are not?" he asks frowning.

"A bit'. But I know things will work out soon."

"You think so? Have you seen how much shit has happened recently? I've never seen Luffy in this state before and... I'm furious with myself, because I would like to do something but I feel like I'm not capable of it!” he explains, letting out his frustration.

Jinbe humms his consent. “This is not an easy situation. The cursed wine led him to almost kill one of his nakama and reopened Ace's wound,” he says without opening his eyes. “It's indeed a big emotional burden for him, but that doesn't mean he won't get out of it.”

"How? How can he get out of this? Is there anything we can do? Or say? To help him?”

The fishman's eyes open. “What exactly do you want to know, Zoro?”

The swordsman snorts and runs a hand through his hair. “How did you behave back then? When Ace died? You've already seen it, right? You had already seen this excruciating pain that Luffy has been showing recently.”

“Yes, I saw it. And if you think that a particular speech or a magic spell is needed to help him, you are wrong."

Shit! That wasn't exactly what he was thinking but… he hoped that talking to him one more time would be helpful.

“When he was heartbroken over Ace, I simply encouraged him to bottle up his emotions and remember what he still had left. And do you know what he thought? Do you know what really triggered something inside him?”

Zoro shakes his head.

"You. All of you, his crew. The answer is you. Luffy needs you, but not with sad speeches or pats on the back. He needs you for what you have always been. Give him back what he lost before this disaster happened. Give him back the normality, the laughter, the light chats, and you will see that he will go back to being the boy you know."

The swordsman thinks about it but is a little doubtful. “Do you really think this is enough?”

Jinbe nods. “Luffy got back on his feet after Ace's death just by relying on the thought of having his nakama. This time, fortunately, no one died, and even if he feels guilty, he can count on your presence. Have faith in him, because he is a very strong boy, and not just physically. You just have to continue to be his nakama.”

“We,” Zoro corrects him. “We must continue to be his nakama, you are included too.”

Jinbe smiles and nods. "You’re right. We will all do it, together.”

And this is exactly what they do in the following days.

Sanji has been awake for a week now, and for a week he has received the loving care of the little reindeer and the constant company of his captain. He was… very persistent. Even though he was no longer at risk, Luffy continued to spend all his days in the infirmary and slept next to him. Sanji appreciated it very much, but he noticed how much fragility was reflected in his captain's eyes and gestures. It was something new that he wasn't prepared for, and knowing that he was the cause of this discomfort gave him a pinch in his heart... however, Sanji doesn't regret what he did, at least this time. He doesn't regret having given his all to bring Luffy back to his senses. If shedding tears or blood was truly the only way to accomplish this, Sanji is glad he did it for him.

And everything went well anyway, right?

The cook has now recovered and the day before he received permission to leave the infirmary, dedicating his time to what he had missed most in those days, cooking. Yes, sometimes he had a nagging headache and his side hurt, but Chopper's painkillers had proven helpful and silenced any pain quickly. Luffy, on the other hand, still doesn't seem like the boy he always was. Sanji's discharge from the infirmary forced him out as well, and his captain proved reluctant to join in with the usual daily activities. No fishing with Usopp and Chopper, no games, no assaults on the galley. He just watched the sky most of the time, sitting or lying on the grass deck.

Mosshead said he spoke to Jinbe for advice, and he simply pointed out that they are the key to helping Luffy. All they have to do is be themselves around him, and Sanji understands that. If he had to bear the guilt of hurting one of his loved ones, he probably would have wanted something like that too. He would not tolerate pitying glances, kind words, or advice for long. Because no one can truly understand what it feels like to lose control of yourself and hurt someone you care about. Sanji still didn't know how it feels like, but the mere idea of becoming a danger to his nakama had scared him so much that he extracted a promise of death from the swordsman.

Therefore, the cook has decided that he does not intend to have any more long chats with his captain. He is sure that he has already told him everything he wanted, and there wouldn't be much to add. This was the phase where words were no longer needed and had to be replaced by facts.

Since the repairs on the island were now finished and the Sunny would set sail the next day, Sanji wants to take the opportunity to go down to Pike's Peak one last time and say goodbye to Arya, reassuring her about his condition. Also, he wants to buy some new shirts, and he wants to do it with Luffy. So, he prepared two bentos for them and a basket for Arya, the latter contains three apple cinnamon tarts, and a pomegranate and orange juice that can be stored in the fridge. Sanji had noticed that the woman really loves fruit.

When his meals are all ready and preserved to perfection, Sanji finds his captain lying on the grass, just like the day before, and invades his vision, interposing himself between him and the sun.

"Captain!" he exclaims smiling, with a cigarette in his mouth.

“Sanji. How are you? Everything okay?"

"I’m fine! To be honest, I think I'm in the mood to take a walk on the island before leaving. Will you join me?”

Luffy looks at him a little undecided, but Sanji opens his bento and shows him the contents. “You can eat this if you come with me!”

His eyes light up like stars when faced with the juicy vision of freshly prepared meat. This is enough to make him jump up. “I'll come wherever you want!”

"Great!"

The two Strawhats immediately leave the Sunny and begin walking calmly around Pike's Peak Island.

"Where are we going? Do you need to buy supplies for the pantry?” Luffy asks, hands clasped behind his head.

“No, I've already checked the pantry and I have to admit that the others did an excellent job in stocking it,” he replies, exhaling a cloud of smoke.

“So where are we going?”

“First I want to stop by Arya-san, you know, that poor woman whose entire house we almost destroyed?”

"Oh."

Suddenly Luffy freezes, and Sanji immediately regrets his words. “I… I wanted to greet her because I know that she had asked Franky and Usopp about me. But you don't have to come… you can stay here somewhere and eat your bento. I won't make you wait long."

"No, it's okay. I'm coming with you so I can apologize to her too.”

"Are you sure?"

“Of course I'm sure. What would be wrong with that?” Luffy gives him a smile and Sanji nods. Maybe he should have thought more carefully about this part of his idea, but if his mood suffers, he still has a few tricks up his sleeve to improve the situation.

“Well, please don't be rude as usual!”

"I'll try to do my best!"

They continue walking for a while, until the cook recognizes the balcony under which he had spent one of his worst nights. He ignores that memory and focuses on the building. Franky and Usopp did a masterful job here too, and now things look exactly as they did before the fight.

Sanji knocks on the door with Luffy at his side. After a short wait, the woman with her long braid appears before them.

“Sanji!” she exclaims with his eyes lighting up with joy. “Y-you're okay… aren't you?”

“Of course I'm okay! You don't have to worry about me anymore, Arya-san!”

“I'm happy to hear that. For a moment I really feared the worst..."

Just as the conversation starts to turn bittersweet, Sanji grabs Luffy's arm and pulls him close.

“This is Monkey D. Luffy! The future Pirate King! My captain, and friend, and nakama! I wanted to introduce him to you before leaving!”

“It's nice to meet you Monkey D. Luffy,” she says smiling, “would you like to come in so I can offer you some tea?”

“Oh, no, Arya-san. We have errands to run, but I brought something for you. To thank you again for your hospitality.”

Sanji hands her the basket and the woman immediately smells the scent of the tarts. “God… it smells delicious! It’s so nice of you to make these for me!”

“It's just a little gift. I will never forget your kindness, Arya-san.”

“And I…” Luffy intervenes with an uncertain voice. “I wanted to apologize for all the mess I made. I'm usually not like that. I don't destroy people's homes at random..."

The woman's gaze melts like snow in the sun. “You don't have to apologize, boy. I know what happened to you and I'm sorry that your stay on Pike's Peak Island became so unpleasant because of that woman. But I thank you from the bottom of my heart for freeing us from her presence.”

“My apologies are still due.”

“No, they are not, believe me. I don't know you but I know you are a good guy, otherwise the devil would never have been attracted to you. And I know you care a lot about Sanji too.”

“Yes, I do really care about him.” Luffy pauses, looking at the house more carefully. “Glad to see Franky and Usopp fixed everything.”

“Oh, yes, those guys were great! About that!” Arya leaves for a moment and then returns with the terracotta figurine of the woman with the fishing rod. The same statuette that had broken during the clash.

“They even fixed this one!”

Sanji's eyes widen. The Ryu figure has a couple of cracks running through it, but otherwise it's like new.

“You have all been really kind to me, you are precious people. I wish you to be happy and make your dreams come true, because you deserve it,” says Arya, with affection.

“Thanks,” Luffy replies, cracking a smile.

“And I hope you find some company Arya-san, a wonderful woman like you shouldn't be alone for too long.”

His words make her giggle. “Maybe you're right, I'll think about it.”

After saying goodbye to Arya, Sanji and Luffy leave, walk side by side for a few minutes, then stop in front of the window of a clothing store. Sanji remembers noticing it when he was seeking shelter from the storm, weeks ago.

“Here we are, this is our stop!”

“A clothing store?” asks the boy in the straw hat, scratching his cheek.

“Yes, I desperately need shirts! And some trousers too!”

"Really? Yet you are among those who have the most clothes ever!”

“Maybe I was before, but I accidentally burned the bag that contained my stuff when…” he stops before saying more, “yeah, I mean, I really need new clothes.”

Despite the words left hanging, Luffy knows well why and when Sanji had a bag with all the clothes inside it, therefore, even if he hates shopping, he decides to keep him company. He probably owes it to him.

“Okay, let's go.”

The two boys enter the shop and the cook immediately approaches the shelves full of colorful shirts, carefully folded.

"What do you think? Do you want to help me choose some?” he asks, turning to his captain.

“I don't know…” Luffy takes a careful look, then grabs a red shirt with green flowers, and another simpler one, orange. The first one makes the cook turn up his nose, but the second... he likes it.

"Thank you! I really needed an orange shirt.”

"Oh! Wait, this one too! This is just like you!” Luffy exclaims, pointing to a blue shirt with very thin white stripes. It looks a lot like the one he wore when they first met.

It's not exactly like that one, but it's nice and his captain chose it; so, he takes it and puts it together with the other shirts that had caught his attention. In the space of a few minutes Sanji tries on at least six different items and Luffy simply approves. He knows that these things don't excite him, but the cook is still happy to have him at his side while he tries to redo his wardrobe. This will imbue those new clothes with new memories. Maybe it's selfish, but he needs it. 

"Hey! How about this one? It looks so much like the one I wore on Skypiea!” he comments, showing himself wearing a pink shirt and a burgundy-colored circle pattern.

"I don't think I remember it,” Luffy replies, raising an eyebrow.

"Really?"

He sees him shrug, then Sanji finds a way to refresh his memory. He sweeps his bangs to the other side, puts an invisible cigarette to his mouth and says, in a deep voice, “This is… the ordeal of love.”

His black eyes widen and then, suddenly, he bursts out laughing. “Hahahaha! Oh! Yes, that one! I remember it now! You hated me so much for that imitation!”

Finally. Finally he sees Luffy laughing and his heart fills with joy. He doesn't want that sound to stop.

“Okay, I'll take it!”

At this point, the cook puts aside all the shirts he intends to buy and takes out some carnival clothes and strange objects that he had recovered when Luffy was distracted.

“Now you have to guess who I'm imitating, okay?”

"Yes! I like this game!"

Sanji disappears into the dressing room and reappears shortly after wearing a green wig that resembles a patch of synthetic grass.

“Oi ero-cook! Where's my booze? I can smell the booze!” he says in an irritated tone.

Luffy bursts out laughing again, doubling over. “Hahahaha! This is Zoro!”

“I knew the mosshead would be easy to recognize!”

“Hahaha! It's beautiful! That green wig… it's perfect!”

“Okay, now on to the next one!”

Sanji enters the dressing room, then comes out with afro hair, a scarf around his neck and a fake violin.

“Well, Sanji-san, what do you want me to play for you? I will welcome any request. What did you say? Want to hear the Northern Blue lullaby? Who cares, I'll play Brink's sake! Yohohohoh!”

New laughter explodes from Luffy's mouth and his legs shake in amusement. “Hahahaha! This is Brook! But did he really tell you this?!”

“Something like that, that shitty skeleton!”

While his captain continues to have fun, Sanji wears a fully unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and a pair of black sunglasses.

“Hey cook-bro! This cola is suuuuper, and your burgers are suuuuper! But kicking the door of the galley is not cool! Not cool, bro!” he exclaims hoarsely.

“Hahahaha! Franky! Definitely Franky!”

“An unmistakable idiot!”

Sanji takes off his sunglasses and tries to catch Luffy's attention. “Okay, this is the last one, but I have nothing to wear to imitate him!”

"All right! I'll guess anyway!”

The cook hides his face behind a wall, leaving his whole body exposed. “If I don't see them, they don't see me, right?!”

This last imitation makes him laugh so loudly that it brings him to tears. “Hahahaha! Chopper, when we met him!”

“I see you have a good memory after all! It's crazy that you remember this, but not my gorgeous pink shirt from Skypiea!”

Suddenly Luffy approaches him with enthusiasm. “Tell me there are other strange things to wear! I want to have fun too!”

“Sure, come and see for yourself!”

The cook and his captain begin to rummage through a box full of other carnival objects, and have fun dressing up in many extravagant ways, making fun of each other. But then the shop owner arrives and stares at them as if he had caught two children up to one of their pranks.

"Hey! You! Those aren't toys, you know? Either buy them or move out!”

Sanji immediately jumps up, embarrassed. “Ah, no sir! I… I still have to pay for those shirts I left on the counter!”

“Then come to pay and stop it!”

The blond heads towards the register while Luffy giggles behind him.

"It's incredible! Shopping for clothes has never been so fun!” exclaims his captain, hopping through the streets of Pike's Peak Island. “We should do it again! Can we do it again? In all the islands?”

Sanji smiles proud of himself. A feeling he is unaccustomed to. Luffy finally seems like the boy he used to be again. And perhaps, only in a small part, he may think he has some merit.

“Of course we can do it again, but not all islands have shops with clothes to dress up in.”

“We can do this in regular clothing stores!”

“I'm not sure the owners would be happy about that!”

“Making the owners angry just makes it more fun!”

Sanji rolls his eyes and sighs with a smile. “You have a natural talent for trying to get into trouble!”

“Shishishishi! I know!"

That laugh. How long had it been since he heard it? It seems like an eternity has passed. God only knows how much he missed it. But after that sound so dear to him, the growl of a hungry stomach follows.

“Oops!” Luffy exclaims, placing a hand on his abdomen. “Do you think we could eat those bentos now?”

"Sure. Why don't you choose a place where we can stop?”

His captain looks around with curious eyes. His gaze changes and his finger points straight towards the coast. “I want to eat there.”

Sanji recognizes it. That's the place where they fought. He imagines the reason why Luffy chose it.

"Okay, let's go."

The two Strawhats reach a dock and sit on the edge. Sanji takes off his shoes, lifts his pants to his knees and dips his feet into the cold water. Luffy, on the other hand, keeps his legs crossed on the wood. They start eating in silence, but the rubber boy finishes the contents very quickly, showing off his typical voracity. The cook looks at him smiling.

"Did you like it?" he asks as he spears a rice ball with his fork.

"Yes! Sanji's food is always the best!”

“Thank you, captain. I will try not to let you miss it again.”

Suddenly Luffy frowns and looks at him seriously. “Sanji.”

"What?" he asks confused. Did he say something wrong?

“I have a feeling I need to clarify something with you.”

"What do you mean?"

Luffy sets the empty bento aside and rubs the meat stains, then turns fully to the cook. “I don't want you to change who you are.”

"Change?" he repeats, blinking.

"Yes. I know Sanji is fine now, but I also know he's a stupid who overthinks too much."

“I don't understand what you're trying to say.”

“I'm saying I don't want you to start pleasing me all the time because of what I said when I was cursed. I don't want you to act like you're my servant. If you can give me meat, fine, but if you can't give me meat, you'll kick me in the face as usual. Do you understand?”

"Oh."

Sanji hadn't thought much about how to deal with Luffy when he came back asking for food at any time of the day… or anything else. But perhaps, that sadistic voice in his mind would really suggest him to change his approach. As if the knowledge that Luffy wasn't himself wasn't enough to calm his insecurities. Apparently, his captain took care of it.

“I want Sanji for who he always was. With his surly but kind attitude. I want to walk into the galley and see him roll his eyes when I ask for meat or get angry when I try to raid the fridge. I want to hear his frustrated no and his curses. I also want to see the smile he makes when he can finally feed me. It's part of everything I've ever loved about him.”

His words almost make him skip a beat. Maybe he should have known… he should have known that this rubber idiot loved him even when he was being an asshole, but hearing him say it was... nice. And Sanji really doesn't mean to disappoint him by giving him a version of himself other than what he loves. After all, that was why he had destroyed his raid suit, right? That last thought brings back one of his worries.

"What if I changed anyway, even against my will?”

“As I told you the other day, we will face the problem together. What matters is that you don't choose to change."

“I won't, you have my word,” he replies, seriously.

“Good.”

A relaxing silence falls between them, while Luffy begins to look at the placid ocean and gets lost in his thoughts. Or in his memories. Sanji's mind, however, is strangely quiet.

"Sanji?"

He hums turning back to him.

“Maybe I should have told you earlier, but I thank you for saving me and loving me, despite everything.”

Sanji just nods and smiles. Even though he doesn't deserve it, he has earned his captain's gratitude, and for once, just this once, he can allow himself to think that he was useful.

Another two days pass and Luffy seems to have found his good mood again. Yes, he's still a little thoughtful at times, more than he usually would be, but he's started playing with Usopp and Chopper, fishing with Zoro and arguing with Nami in an innocent way. Just before breakfast time, he even showed up in the galley clamoring for meat, but Sanji blocked him with a foot in his face. This simple gesture earned him a crushing hug from the rubber boy. And Sanji smiled. Because he had missed that sticky hug so much.

The mosshead's amused snorts returned along with his captain's smile. They both seem to be doing quite well, plus, the whole crew laughs and chats as carefree as they did before he brought that stupid wine on the Sunny. Everything now seems to be back to normal, but not yet for Luffy. In fact, immediately after having eaten a larger lunch than usual, he stands up and looks at his nakama with a serious look.

"You, all. I want you gathered outside of here right now."

This order from him starts to make the Strawhats frown, but Sanji senses that the idiot is just playing. He decides to reach the deck anyway, where he finds Luffy with the long black coat draped over his shoulders... just like that day.

As everyone starts to line up, Luffy smiles and says, "not like that, you idiots, get around me!"

The crew stands in a circle, with the captain in the middle.

“I have gathered you here because I owe you an apology for what happened a few weeks ago. I attracted the curse of the devil and started misbehaving with practically all of you. And you didn't deserve it. It doesn't matter how long you've been on this journey with me, it doesn't matter if you've drifted apart at some point, it doesn't matter if we've argued or if you scold me with punches or pinches. You are all equally important to me, and if I chose you it is because I want you by my side throughout the course of my adventure. I could never become the Pirate King without each of you, because you are my crew, my nakama, the family that gave me strength when I was breaking down for Ace. And you have done it in these days too. You tried to cheer me up, to make me smile, or laugh, you worried about me. You know me well, you quickly understood that what I was doing couldn't be like me, and I know you, even when you lie to me or pretend to despise me."

At this point Luffy takes out a black marker from his trousers pocket. “Show me your forearms.”

The crew carries out his request and the captain marks a black x on his arm, then places it on Chopper's paw, on Franky's mechanical arm, on Brook's bone, on Jinbe's fin, on Nami and Robin’s arms, on Zoro's rippling muscle and on Usopp's arm. Finally, he also draws that x on his cook's forearm and puts his straw hat on his head. Sanji gasps in surprise. His heart begins to beat faster while his eyes become shiny.

“Sanji, I want you on my crew because you are the best cook I know, and even if you weren't, you are irreplaceable to me. I want you because you are generous, courageous, stupid, grumpy, a true force of nature. You are my left wing, my nakama, my friend, you are part of my family, and I value the way you stay true to your ideals. I ask you to never betray them, for anyone in the world, not even for me.”

The cook purses his lips and tries to repress his tears, while his captain continues to sing his praises.

“You are a special person, and I’m sorry that your family has never seen it, because the very thing they despise so much, your kindness, is what will take you far. You will be a great cook, a great pirate and you will find the All Blue, I have no doubt about that. I want to be there when you do. We all want to be there, if that's what you want too.”

“Of course I want it… you… are an integral part of that dream…”

Luffy nods and smiles. “Then remember that you are and forever will be a Strawhat, and if anyone tells you otherwise, don’t believe them, even if that someone is me.”

“Aye, captain!” he replies with a wide smile and tears prickling his eyes.

“The same goes for all of you. You will forever be part of my crew, and if I ever say otherwise, now you know that I am probably the victim of some annoying curse, or brainwashing, or devil fruit, one of those things!”

“Well, good to know! It means that the next time you start acting like a domineering captain, we will directly lock you in a prism stone cell until you humbly ask for forgiveness!” Nami exclaims. And everyone bursts out laughing.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea!” adds Usopp.

“Hey!” Luffy pouts and the others continue laughing.

Sanji laughs too. He is happy. Happy to have helped his captain find himself, happy to know that he loves him for who he is, happy to be able to feed him and his crew for a long time to come. He is happy to always find his family again, despite the obstacles and difficulties they face, they are made to live, dream and travel together. Sanji finally feels lucky again and raises his marked forearm, along with his nakama, towards the sky.