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 Izzy wasn’t sure if Stede would care enough to come and get him.

  He had been captured, put in some small Spanish prison near port while they waited for the governor to get there or some shit. Izzy understood just enough spanish to get by, but the spanish spoken by shopkeeps and other sailors was a far cry from the sort of spanish being used by these rich fucks.

  Point is, Ed hadn’t come with them on this particular trip to shore to offload goods, wanting to lay low while just a few of the more personable people went along.

  It was actually Izzy that insisted he go with Stede, to act as his bodyguard. His attack dog, more like. Ed just shrugged, saying that he was sure that it wouldn’t come to that, that Stede didn’t need to be guarded anymore. It pissed Izzy off that the man who loved him so much was so cavalier about his safety. That the dread pirate Blackbeard would let his precious co-captain ever be at unnecessary risk.

  And maybe, beneath all that regular rage was some fierce protection of his own. He and Stede had gotten closer, had been inching towards something other than friendship in the time that Ed was gone, and now that Ed was back Izzy wasn’t sure what to do with all that emotion.

  Izzy was never all that good at hiding it when he cared for someone. It just showed in different ways than others. Izzy’s love had teeth and claws, and came in the form of dead bodies on your doorstep and blood covered hands.

  What Izzy hadn’t taken into account was that he himself was also a bit notorious. Sure he wasn’t on the same level as Blackbeard, but first mate Izzy Hands was known.

  Worse yet, it was known that he was Blackbeards first mate.

  Was.

  At one point taking Izzy into custody would be a sure fire way to capture Blackbeard. He would have walked right into that trap when he was younger and their love burned fierce and bright, before Izzy’s kind of affection stopped being the kind Edward looked for and started being the kind he was ashamed of. Maybe bored of was a better word.
He had tried to tell the guards that he wasn’t Blackbeard's first mate anymore. That the Gentleman Pirate was unlikely to risk his neck, or his crew, to fetch one man. Especially Izzy.

  Newly developing feelings or not, Izzy didn’t think that Stede cared for him in the same way. What for Izzy was a loyal and fierce dedication was likely just a reluctant admiration from Stede Bonnet.

  Besides, he was with Edward. And Izzy had always been Edwards shadow. The ghost that hid in the dark and stepped out to slay Blackbeard's enemies so that Edward Teach could keep his hands somewhat clean, could keep the kraken locked up tight.

  Maybe before, he would have figured out a way to escape himself. But he was tired, and he didn’t know anyone here, and the fuckers had taken his hoof. So. He sat on the bench with his head against the wall and waited for his day to come.

***

  One thing about being a pirate is that you learn to sleep anywhere you can. So when Izzy heard the gunshot, at first he thought it was a part of whatever he had been dreaming of.

  The second one though, that was undeniably real, and much closer than he thought.

  Izzy straightened up, listening to the boots stomping on the wooden floor. He waited, but it wasn’t Ed. After all the years, Izzy knew what Ed's footfalls sounded like. And these steps were a bit lighter, but no less angry.

  It was the shoes. Izzy realized when Stede stepped in front of the bars. His boots were lighter than Eds, and he was used to stepping lightly, to trying to be quiet.

  Jim flew by behind him, cursing in spanish as they went. Izzy squinted, realizing that they both had dirt and what looked like blood dried on their clothes.

  “Israel?” Stede said tentatively. Izzy took a deep breath. He had honestly never been so happy to see Stede Fucking Bonnet in his life.

  “Yeah. It’s me, Bonnet.”

  “Good. Would hate if I did all this just to have you be some other bloke.”

  Jim appeared beside him, a hand on his forearm and something in their hand. It was a key.

  “Ah! Delightful, thank you Jim. Can you please go back to the ship and have them get us ready to leave post haste?” Stede asked. There was an edge to it, one Izzy recognized as an order. Jim must have too, because after sparing a glance and a nod in Izzy’s direction, they ran off.

  Stede calmly opened the door, pointedly ignoring what sounded like screams and possibly another falling body from above.

  “Well come along, Israel. We do need to leave soon.”

  Izzy raised his eyebrows and looked at his leg.

  “Bit of a problem with that Captain.” He replied, shifting uncomfortably. Steede frowned and then took in the rest of Izzy, took in the fact that the lower half of his right leg was gone, and his mouth settled into something grim and determined.

  “They took it?”

  Izzy nodded,”Said it could be used as a weapon.”

  At that Stede smiled, but it was a sharp thing. Izzy straightened in his chair, a thrill going down his spine at the look in his face. He had seen that look before. Right before Stede killed Ned Low.

  Before Izzy could say anything else, Stede walked off in the direction that Jim had retrieved the key from. Izzy tried to act calm, but he was freaking out a little inside.
His captain had come for him. But it certainly wasn’t the one he would have bet on. And having that sort of anger? Due to something that happened to Izzy?

  This was a care with teeth.

  There was a scream nearby that ended in something that sounded a bit like gurgling and then Stede returned, Izzy’s hoof in hand. Stede was covered in blood. Some of it was still dripping off of his face as he took off his coat and used it to wipe the blood off of the leg, and then he walked into the jail cell and kneeled down, gently reattaching it to Izzzy’s stump with hands that were stained red with blood. Once it was secure, Stede looked up from where he kneeled, eyes a brighter hazel against the red splashed on his face.

  “Do you think you can walk?” He asked quietly. Izzy carefully stood and then nodded. They hadn’t really hurt him. He had walked off much worse than a few bruised ribs.

  “Good.” Stede replied, rising from the floor and wrapping an arm around Izzy, helping to support him. Together they made their way back to the ship, and Izzy felt lighter each step he took. When they reached the boat, he could have kissed the planks of the deck.

  “Roach, please check to make sure Izzy is not wounded in any way. Frenchie, Wee John, please get a bath prepared in my ensuite for Izzy to use.”

  “Captain, are you sure you don’t need to be looked at? That’s a lot of blood.”

  Oluwande asked. Stede looked down at himself and frowned, as if he just now noticed that he was covered in blood.

  “Oh it isn’t mine, but it is a shame about the clothes. This was one of my favorites.”

  Izzy thought about the fact that Stede had worn one of his favorite outfits to save him. Once upon a time that would have meant nothing. Once upon a time Stede had so much clothing that he had to have an extra room built to house it all.

  Now, with maybe a week's worth of clothing to his name, and only about three of those being anything near fancy, it held a different weight. Stede had dressed for battle, and he had won.

  The crew filtered out, dispersing to do their various tasks, and Izzy stayed there, standing by Stede.

  “Stede…” Izzy started, limping towards him. Stede took a step back, and Izzy felt his heart sink.

  “I’m going to take the helm for a while. I’ll come check on you a bit later, yeah?” Stede said, his voice shaking a bit. Izzy closed his mouth and nodded, understanding all too well the emotions he was going through.

  “Yes captain.” Izzy said, and then he walked towards the captain's cabin, trailing his fingers across Stedes shoulders as he went.

***

  Izzy hadn’t taken a bath in a while, and he felt good to take one now, to wash the smell of the dirty prison floor off of himself. Ed hadn’t been in the cabin either, Izzy didn’t know where he was and he didn’t care at the moment, because right now all Izzy could care about was how good the water felt.

  When the water grew cold Izzy stepped out, and quickly realized that he hadn’t brought any clothing or a towel.

  Seems the boys had thought of that thought, because there was a rob that was clearly made for a much bigger man and a few soft towels laid out beside the tub. Izzy dried of and pulled the robe on, stepping outside into the cabin at large.

  Edward was hear now, sitting down on the bed and reading a book. Izzy couldn’t see what it was, and didn’t much care. HE wen’t to limp back to his own space when Ed rushed over and looked Izzy up and down.

  “Stede told me.” Was all Ed said and then he was opening Izzy’s robe and checking him for wounds. He pressed his fingers lightly against the newly formed bruises on his ribs and Izzy hissed, pulling away from Edward and closing his robe again, tying it a little tighter around his waist.

  For his part, Edward looked a bit like a kicked puppy. They were still figuring out where their boundaries were. The line drawn moved depending on what sort of day Ed was having. Izzy had noticed that when Ed was having a particularly bad time, the kind of mood that usually meant taking it out on others, Stede steered them clear of each other. It was those days that Stede always insisted Izzy train him on something, even though with time there was less and less Stede needed help with.

  Today it seemed Ed was in one of his better moods. The days where he felt calm in his skin and talked to the crew like family. The days where he started with a little weed instead of whiskey.

  “Sorry mate.” He said, backing up a step.

  “It’s fine. Roach already looked me over. Just a little banged up.”

  Ed pulled Izzy getnly over to the couch he had been sitting on and sat with his arm around his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t come get you Iz. I was so sure you would get out yourself. I mean, you usually do.”

  “I used to have both legs. I used to be 20 years old.” Izzy replied, his voice more tired than anything else. God he just wanted to go to sleep in his own bed. IT wasn’t even a bad mattress. Stede had managed to get him a new one some months ago. Carted it off of some Spanish ship they had raided.

  He looked over after he reallized that Ed hadn’t responded, and the look on his face was so full of guilt that Izzy could practically feel it seeping out from his skin like sweat. Izzy sighed and put his hand on Ed’s leg, squeezing his thigh in an attempt to comfort the man.

  “It’s fine. My Captain came and got me. That’s what matters, in the end.”

  Izzy knew the statement would hurt, but Ed wasn’t a captain anymore. Just another member of the crew. So, what he said wasn’t wrong. You don’t go on rescue missions unless the captain agrees.

  “He’s messed up about it.”

  “What?”

  “Killing those guards. Apparently, the first jail he went to was the wrong one.”

  Izzy cringed. He wanted to insult him for it, but truth was there was no way to know which jail Izzy was in, and the idea that Stede was just going to raid every jail he could reach until he found Izzy filled him with something like warmth.

  “Well. He didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done for your first mate.” Izzy told him, wanting to soothe the sting of his earlier comment. Edward brightened predictably. Izzy knew he would, and he was happy that he still knew how to play the instrument that was Edward Teach.

  “You might want to tell him that.” Ed said.

  “I would have gone for him.”

  “He’s your captain. Unless you planned on taking the ship, you would have to.”

  “Don’t have to do shit. But I would for Stede.”

  There was the beginning of a smile, one of those real ones that Izzy had fallen for when they were kids peaking out from under Eds surface.

  “Definitely tell Stede that.”

  “The man isn’t even here.”

  “He told me he was going to check on you later tonight.”

  Ed sat there looking at Izzy and then he pulled him into a hug. Izzy grunted but hugged him back, not quite sure what to say to the man.

  “I’m glad you’re alive mate.” Ed said, “I’ll get better, I fucking swear it.”

  Izzy smiled against Ed’s throat, “You already are Eddie.”

  Ed sobbed, just once, a tear filled exhale, and then he nodded and pulled away.

  “You can stay here tonight, if you want.” Ed offered. Stede had offered it to him many times, mostly when Ed wasn’t on the ship, but a few times after he came back too.

  Izzy looked Ed in the eyes, “What is this Ed?” He asked. HE didn’t elaborate, figuring Ed would figure it out. And luckily, he had been right.

  “We love you man. Stede loves you.”

  Izzy squints at Ed.

  “You love me? You love me enough to rot in some jail cell?” he asked, because it was confusing. He was sure he was going to hang not 4 hours ago and now Ed was making some strange confession.

  “I thought you had it handled! And when you were away for too long for Stede’s comfort, he decided to go and find you. I wanted to come, but Jim didn’t want to work with me and Stede insisted it was too dangerous, because arresting you had probably been a trap for me.”

  Izzy opened his mouth and then quickly closed it again because Stede knew. Stede knew it was a trap and came anyway. The Gentleman pirate was no legend like Blackbeard, but he was still a criminal. Izzy felt stifled all the sudden, needed to get away from the overwarm captains cabin and be alone to think about this shit and get some rest.

  “I’m going to bed. In my cabin. Goodnight Edward.”

  “Night Iz.” Ed said. HE seemed to have deflated a little, but he didn’t try and stop Izzy as he stood up and made his way to the door.

  He made it to his cabin without being bothered. The wind was steady enough that they were moving at a good pace, shore gone from sight.

  They were safe, which meant that Izzy could sleep soundly.

  When he opened his door, he walked in looking down so as not to step on the robe. So he didn’t notice at first that Stede was sitting on the bed, looking off into middle distance at something far beyond the wall of this room.

  “Bonnet?” Izzy asked, and Stede jumped just a little before laughing nervously.

  “Sorry. Just… that was too close for comfort. Hate going through it again.” He said as a way of response. Izzy frowned.

  “Go through what again?” Izzy asked, nudging Stede with his hand until the man made enough room for Izzy to sit beside him on the bed. There was space between them, and Izzy felt the need to close it. Stede was so fucking warm.

  “The fear of losing my First Mate.” He said. It was something they kept resorting to. When they got too close to the heart of it, they made it about the relationship between captain and first mate. Izzy understood all too well. Him and Ed had done it for years.

  But Stede wasn’t Ed. If anythign he was even more insane.

  “The fear of losing you.” He said quieter, looking into Izzy’s eyes. Izzy felt like a bug pinned in a frame.

  “Well I’m right here.” He answered Stede gruffly. Stede nodded, and the motion made a single tear fall from his eye. In the dim light of the cabin, Izzy hadn’t even noticed that Stede had started to cry. Izzy paused for a moment, unsure how to respond. The idea that Stede was crying over him, that he was so upset that he almost lost Izzy that he killed men for it, that he was so upset that he came to Izzys cabin for comfort and not to Ed.

  It was all too much. It was more than he expected from anyone, much less Stede, who was in Edwards orbit. But he looked through eyes hazy with tears at Izzy, and it was so full of affection and worry that Izzy couldn’t doubt he cared.

  Izzy wiped the tears off of his cheeks with the too long sleeve of his robe. Stede caught his hand against his face, nuzzling into it for a moment before moving the robe back and kissing the center of Izzy’s bare palm.

  It was the hand he usually had gloved, and the skin was tender. Izzy sucked in a breath.

  “What are we doing here Stede?” Izzy asked. He hated the tremble in his voice almost as much as he hated voicing the question. Stede didn’t let Izzy go. Instead, he used his grip on his hand to pull him in closer, pressing their foreheads together.

  “I don’t know.” Stede whispered. “I dont know Isreal.”

  “Ed will kill us both.”

  “Ed has no say in what his captain does.” Stede said. It sounded rehearsed, falsely steeped in confidence.

  Stede laughed in a way that sounded almost faint. Izzy marveled at the sound.

  “Besides. He doesn’t give a shit.” Stede whispered conspiritorily, and then he closed the distance between the two of them in a rough kiss. Izzy didn’t hesitate to turn his body closer to Stede, quickly burying his hand into Stedes blonde curls and holding him tight, kissing Stede back as if he could push the frustration of being fond of this man into his own lungs, leaving Izzy free to only feel the love.

  He didn’t do that, but he did get to feel it when Stede hummed into the kiss and tilted them so that Izzy was on his back with Stede above him. When the pulled apart it was to catch their breath, and Stede was near tears again. Izzy was dismayed to realize he was fairing no better.

  “I thought I was going to be hanged.” Izzy admitted quietly. He realized long ago that he could tell Stede anything. The man was surprisingly free of judgement when it came to his crew.

  Stede grabbed Izzy by the hair and pushed him lightly into the mattress, forcing him to maintain eye contact.

  “I would never leave you behind. We need you. *I need you*”’ Stede said roughly, and Izzy felt his mouth stretch into a grin. The grip in his hair hurt and he was sure his lips would be bruised the next day. It was everything he had missed.

  “Good thing you found me then, isn’t it?” Izzy said to him and something in Stede set alight.

  Stede kissed like he meant to consume you. Like he had gone for years without them and he was making up for lost time, and knowing Stede’s history a little more now, maybe he was. Izzy certainly could have pulled away, could have stopped it, but at this point he would have rather shot a cannon through the bottom of the ship. He felt wanted, felt like some one would miss him if he was gone.

  Izzy skimmed his hands along Stedes side, squeezing his waist on the way down and huffing from the way he jumped lightly. He didn’t continue to explore the possible sensitive spot though, needing to feel Stedes skin on his, needing there to be less between them. Needed more proof that they were both tangible and here and alive.
The shirt came easily when Izzy pulled it out of his pants, and they both made muffled noises against each others mouths when Izzy slid his hand across the newly bared skin and rested it on Stedes chest. They broke apart, and Izzy took the opportunity to push Stede back, wanting to take off his hoof and get on the bed proper. Wanting to feel Stede on top of or underneath him, he really didn’t care so long as they had less clothes on when it happened.

  Stede lowered himself to the floor and looked up at Izzy with wide eyes.

  “I’m sorry I almost lost you.” He said, voice quiet with shame. Izzy squinted, because he didn’t want to stop kissing Stede, because Stede could change his mind at any moment, and so Izzy wanted to see as much skin as he could while he still had the chance.

  “It doesn’t matter. You got me back.”

  Stede shook his head, “I should have paid more attention.”

  “Stede, I knew the risk. It’s my job to protect my captain.

  “And its my job to protect my crew! Especially my first mate! Especially you!” Stede said, frustrated, and then took a deep and forced breath and pressed his forehead against Izzy’s thigh. Izzy held his hands up above his head for a moment, but then carefully pushed the hair away from Stedes face and made him turn his head.

  “It’s okay. I’m okay. You found me, and that’s what matters. It’s more than I thought I deserved.” Izzy told him, and Stede frowned, sitting up so that he could look Izzy in the eye.

  “This crew needs you. *I* need you. I have endless things I need to learn about being a captain.” Stede said. Izzy couldn’t read his face, too many emotions flickering across it at once.

  “What else do you want me to teach you? You’ve learned about as much as I can tell you.” Sure, Stede wasn’t great at all the things that Izzy had taught him, but with time he would be.

  “I want you to teach me how to care for you.” Stede said. “I’m learning how to care for Ed, and how to care about my crew. I want to learn how to take care of you.”
Stede said it with such honesty that Izzy just sat there blinking at him for a moment. And what a question that was. He had spent so long just living to keep Ed happy, he had no real idea.

  “I don’t know, exactly.” Izzy admitted, shrugging. Stede ran his hands from Izzy’s knees to his hips, pulling him closer to the end of the bed. He pressed a kiss to the center of Izzy’s exposed chest, pulling the soft silk robe apart and leaving Izzy bare in the candle light. Stede sat back on his heels, looking Izzy over, and then brought his hands to the straps of Izzy’s hoof.

  “Then lets figure it out together.” he replied, and then he carefully started to unbuckle them, sliding the hoof away and propping it up against the wall in easy reach. The gesture, the sight of his removed lower right leg, reminded him of the last thing holding him back from devouring Stede whole.

  “Stede, what about Edward.”

  Stede looked up sharply, his fingers gripping Izzy’s thighs hard enough to bruise.

  “Edward knows how I feel for you, and if he has a problem with it in the future we will figure it out. But he knows I’m here. And he knows I’m not going to see him till tomorrow.”
Izzy stared at Stede and let that all sink in. And the fact that Stede came here with the intention of staying?

  It was everything Izzy needed saying.

  He surged forward and kissed Stede hard enough to bruise, hooking his legs around his torso and pulling him even closer. They both groaned when the soft skin of Stedes chest pressed against Izzy’s quickly filling cock, and then Stede pulled away and stood up, pushing Izzy back further on the bed and following behind, shucking off his boots and his pants. He wasn’t wearing smalls, and was already ahead of Izzy, as turned on as it looked like he could be, though maybe there was room to change that. Izzy reached for him, grabbing his cock and squeezing once, and Stede groaned and pinned Izzy to the bed, one hand above his head and the other trapped between their bodies, still holding Stede.

  “How long?” Izzy asked in between heated kisses. Stede hummed.

  “What?”

  “How long have you wanted me?”

  “Longer than I think I realized.”

  “Fuck Stede why didn’t you say something?” Izzy replied, and Stede chuckled.

  “Well I thought we hated each other.”

  “We could have still fucked.”

  “Yeah well. I didn’t want to just fuck you. Do you still hate me?”

  Izzy pulled Stede away, looking at him, trying to figure out if it was a real question or just banter. It looked painfully real.

  “No you twat. I wouldn’t spend so much time trying to keep you alive if I hated you.”

  Stede smiled.

  “You were starting to get a little too nice there, had to make sure it was still you.” Stede joked, pressing a kiss to the side of Izzy’s neck. It was him changing the subject, making it fun again, but Izzy knew better.

  “I’m in a particularly kind mood at the moment, having just been saved from the noose.”

  “I’d do it again.” Stede said with his lips pressed against the skin over Izzy’s heart. Izzy nodded.

  “I know that now.” He whispered, wanting his hand back, Izzy positioned Stedes cock between his thighs. The hiss Stede let out changed his mind though. He gently thrust into Stede. Both of them groaned from the friction, and then chasing it, kissing each other roughly and grinding their hips in some approximation of a rhythm. It was good, but Izzy wanted it to be better. He pushed Stede away with hands against his shoulder and then sucked in deep breaths.

  “Give me a second. Let me…” He reached blindly behind him and found some oil, pouring it on his hand and arm clumsily in his haste and smearing it first between his own thighs and then on Stede's stomach. Then he pulled Stede back towards him roughly, and they both inhaled sharply as they first thrust against each other.

  They kept going, hands gripping each other tightly and huffing hot breath into each others mouths as they chased each others orgasm. With this being their first time, Izzy didn’t recognized the tells when Stede was about to reach that peak, but he knew when the man tumbled off of it by the way he bit into Izzy’s shoulder. That sharp pain made Izzy follow right over with him, muffling his moan into Stede's chest.

  After a moment of them just holding each other Stede pulled back a little and pressed into the teeth marks he had left on Izzy’s shoulder. Izzy shuddered in response, still sensitive from having just finished.

  “Can I stay?” Stede asked quietly. As if Izzy would say no.

  “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

  Stede smiled and then pulled himself off of Izzy with a groan, grabbing the robe Izzy had been wearing and using it to wipe the two of them off.

  “Rude.”

  “If you like it, I’ll get it washed and have Wee John tailor it for you.” Stede said in response, pulling the blanket out and draping it over Izzy before crawling into bed with him.

  He wrapped his arms around Izzy tight, pulling him against his chest and wrapping around him. Izzy felt enveloped, and was alright with it as Stede pressed a kiss to his shoulder, right on one of the scars.

  “Yeah?”

  “Of course. I’ll get you more of them if you want.”

  Izzy didn’t know if the sentiment would be true the next day. He didn’t know how their relationship would work, if it was even a relationship. Shit, Ed might throw them both overboard tomorrow. But with Stede pressed against him like a second skin, Izzy didn’t really give a shit either.

  “Only if you keep taking them off.” Izzy muttered. He felt Stede laugh against his neck.

  “What would be the point if I didn’t?” He told him.

  Izzy wouldn’t argue with him this time.