Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

This was it. Ventus kneeled before me, grappled by several Flood, unable to move, unable to escape.

The culmination of my revenge! Finally, Ventus was strong enough to survive the merge! Soon he and I will be one again, I will have MY face and MY name, I will be strong enough to kill the old man, to be free of all the pain and indignity!! 

“You never stood a chance against us, Ventus!”

I’m not supposed to feel positive emotions, but at this moment I knew burning in my blood was utter Elation and Anticipation. My moment has arrived. All my hard work has finally born fruit.

It’ll be all over. 

Confidently I stride up, darkness swirling all around me, towards that burning light within him. Just when I was a single meager step away everything stopped. Sounds, smells, Ventus, the pain from the Unversed being destroyed across the universe, it all stopped.

The air around fell unnaturally still. No longer could I hear the wind, just my own breaths. What? Even the warmth of the light before me didn’t reach. Ventus sat as still as a statue, eyes burning but at the wrong spot. His little friends too, frozen in time. The Flood flinched in discomfort and confusion but held fast.

No.

No No No No!!

Reaching towards Ventus accomplished nothing. Cold. Unmoving. I turn with a scream, looking for the source; for time doesn't stop without reason.

In sight was a… burlap sack.

The… wispy sack started gliding over the rocks, slowly trudging towards me.

What the!? “Is this your doing?!” 

My confusion was overcome by the rage that had shot up my spine.

What right does this sack of shit think it has to stop me!? I summoned Void Gear and charged towards it, “Quit interfering!”

“Boy.” 

Without input Void Gear de-materialized as my blood ran cold, “Xe… Xehanort?!” Why is master a floating potato sack? “Why are you… you’re supposed to be on the plateau, getting your new body! What are you doing?! Our plans are about to-”

“Fail.”

What?!

“You lose this fight. Come, I have found a new use for you.” The sack started to turn away.

“Wh-what?! Are you KIDDING ME?!” I swing my arm to Ventus, “He’s RIGHT HERE! I have him right where I want him; he can’t escape! I'm still stronger than him! Let me go and kill him and the X-blade will be ours-”

“Wrong. Ventus is too much for you.”

“I haven't even gotten the CHANCE to-!”

“You did. I am from the future. You lost this fight. Get moving.”

Just a step away. A single second away from the X-Blade. I’m sure of it.

“The goal is RIGHT HERE! Why bother with-”

“This is just a failure from 10 years ago. If you don’t follow me this instant, I will remind you why I am the Master.”

He still has that frail old man's voice, he's even from the future where he’s even older and must be even weaker. Reduced to a literal sack. Still unable to hide his hatred and contempt.

I can…!

“Why aren't you here telling me how to fix it instead of dragging me off to who knows where for some other stupid thing?! The X-Blade is RIGHT HERE!”

“And just like its source it will be weak and easily broken.” 

Me, WEAK?! Without thinking, I summoned Void Gear.

Before I knew it, my face was on the ground and there was a sharp pain in my temple, “Just what do you think that will accomplish? Without me you have no purpose. Have you forgotten your place?”

Through gritted teeth, “I can do it. I can beat him; I know I can-!”

"Perhaps you will, after I'm done with you." And tugs at my heart.

Indescribable pain. At just the slightest shift all my Unversed perish, imploding into darkness that returns as swift as a hurricane. Their pain, knowledge, and emotions all returned to me at once overriding and blinding everything. Hundreds. Thousands of them, gone in an instant. 

My heart forcibly crushed them all back inside.

Through this suffering, I still sensed him. Though faceless, his emotions still bleed freely. He’s angry. So unimaginably angry. He crushes my neck…

In one last feeble act of defiance, I tried reaching out to Ventus to merge one more time, to no avail. 

The last thing I could remember was Ventus’s stupid stupid fucking face.

Cold.

Stiff.

The scent of chemicals heavy in the air.

Where in the hell did that old man take me…?

I opened my eyes as thinly as possible, and still nearly blinded myself from the stupid fluorescent lights. But after a few seconds the pain passed and I could take a look around.

A lab. White and gray walls. Tables with scalpels, phials, and beakers. File cabinets, machinery, and computers everywhere. Stacks of papers in piles as far as the eye could see. A well-placed Aero and Fire would make quick work of wherever the hell this is. Lifting my head, I could now see I was on a flat metal table wearing a stifling full length black cloak. Gloves. I didn’t have my dark suit or helmet. My feet were bare.

The only other thing of note was on the far side of the room, rummaging in some of those papers, was some kind of old sickly-looking man. Gross. 

Master’s words echoed in my mind; “Ventus is too much for you.” It didn't make sense, even with how strong he was I still had to let him beat me, how did he-

It was at that moment, from all the way on the other side of the room, I caught a whiff of the sickly man. The scent was foul and strong enough to break my train of thought.

Unfortunately, that was just enough Disgust to spark my worthless malfunctioning heart to cough up a Blue Sea Salt. Literally. The cold darkness crept up suddenly and unpleasantly slid out of my mouth forcing me to cough and sit up like a dumbass.

Obviously, the man heard and turned around. He had gross yellow eyes, rotten hay colored hair, and smiled in a way that reminded me of the old man, “Ah! It seems you’ve awakened!” His brow furrowed, feeling revolted. “I certainly wasn’t expecting that face.”

“The hell does that mean?” But already he started ignoring me, looking instead at the floating pot who was busy being nosy for me.

“My my, what an interesting specimen!” While the gross man inspected it, the pot tried reading some of the papers nearby, but it was useless. The pages were a solid brick wall of black from the tiny crammed together text.

Without warning in the center of the room a corridor of darkness opened.

My old master, now properly within his aging rotting body, walked in with an aggravated glare. It took everything I had to sit still and not break his neck where he stood. He stomped right up to me, “Vanitas,” extending one of his gangly fingers to the gross man, “This is Vexen. Follow his orders as if they were directly from me. Any more failures from you and oblivion is all you will have to look forward to.” He pivoted on his heel and left back through the corridor.

I honestly thought about taking him up on that. After all, if Ventus could beat me…  Wait, something’s wrong. It took sitting up to really feel it but… I’m not in pain. For the first time in… most of my entire existence. My back didn’t ache, I couldn't feel the old scars Master ‘gifted’ to me, even my fingers felt comfortable to move. 

The only part that felt normal was my dilapidated heart, and even that was feeling more complete than it ever had before the old man jumped me. Nothing else felt ready to ooze out uncontrollably, not even my confusion. Still broken and unfinished but not hollowed out to the core. What’s going on?

Vexen the creep nodded, “Some explanations. Your heart has been removed from your time period. It has been brought roughly ten years into the future from where Master Xehanort pulled it from. From there I placed it into this replica’s body. A sort of vessel made for this express purpose. Yours had to be made a bit unique to handle the creation of these Unversed. I’m glad to see that you tested the ability as soon as you awoke.” Vexen poked the Sea Salt, and then he removed its lid. Earning a blast of ice right to the face before slamming it back down, suppressing how pissed that made him. Serves him right for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

But really, a new body? Looking at my gloved hands. It's not like I was greatly attached to the old one but other than being pain free this didn’t look like a new body. But it had to be, it didn’t hurt. Removing the gloves revealed my hands were still scarred to bits, but I could close them without pain. Completely. Easily. I stretched my arms over my head and cracked my fingers. No pain. No old aches. Nothing? It feels…wrong.

Out of habit I request a status report from the Unversed. Only a single one returned:

> Blue Sea Salt of the Keyblade Graveyard. Status: Alive. ‘The room I am in is acceptably chilly.’

Smartass.

“Please, take it slow, but do stand up and stretch your legs some more. Let me know if you feel anything abnormal. Best to fix defects as soon as possible, no?” Vexen now turned his unbreaking gaze to me. Creepy.

But orders are orders, and this is an easy one. I got off the table with unnatural ease, though I had to ignore the unnaturally smooth and cold floor touching my feet. Looking around the room, slipping my gloves back on, I noticed the lab was a lot longer than I realized. Easily longer than the Castle of Dreams foyer, even if it was buried under a forest's worth of paper. Said paper had hid a nasty surprise; with it my spot on the table had meant I couldn't have seen the dolls.

At least I think they’re dolls. Human sized, faceless, white plastic things. Some in coats, some hooked up to computers, some just clearly tossed about without care. In the corner a series of truly skin crawling shelves with multiple limbs stuffing every last level. The same creepy blank limbs the rest of the dolls were made of.

“These…” silently commanding the Sea Salt to poke one of the bodies, “are the replicas?”

“Yes indeed!” The scientist felt Proud and cluttered the air with it as he puffed up his chest, “Invented by yours truly, place a heart in them and it will take their form near perfectly.”

“Near perfectly?” I placed my hand on my chest, without fail he messed my husk of a body up somehow.

“Well in your case I couldn’t exactly replicate the lack of density given to you by being a being of nearly pure magic. So do keep that in mind.”

I don’t feel any heavier or ready to fall apart. But that didn’t feel like much of a vote of confidence.

Walking around a bit more, I had to pull off a glove again and look at my hand. It is but isn’t my hand. Scars from the master's keyblade still branded them as they always did, but without the accompanying lingering aches that lived under the flesh. The last step of making a replica must be stretching the person's skin over top a doll of their size. This was undoubtedly my skin if nothing else.

Skin I never wanted to see again. 

This Vexen guy isn’t exactly due respect or worth any kind of thought but he must be a big deal for Xehanort to give him blanket control like that… and if he’s on that level I'd better ask for stupid permission. Doing my best Ventus impression I asked; “Vexen. May I summon my dark suit?” I wanted to wince at the pure lameness of it all, but I’d rather recite a thousand Ventus platitudes before ever having to touch cold tile with my bare feet ever again.

“You may. After that I would like to do a series of tests before I set you lose.” Vexen replied, running off and freeing some kind of clipboard from the grasp of another pile of papers.

Better get this garbage dealt with as soon as possible. It was easy enough to tap into darkness and reclaim my dark suit. As it began to solidify around me, I felt at least a step closer to normal. The temperature of the room muted with the suit's appearance, and everything was tinted a shade darker when my helmet returned.

Through the eyes of the Sea Salt, I look overdressed. “Can I ditch the coat?”

“Alas, but no. They are the uniform of the Real Organization 13.” Vexen’s voice emitted a tone of sharp annoyance to match his face, “Even if they are wildly inappropriate or uncomfortable, they are to not be removed as per Master Xehanort's orders.” 

Of course he ordered it.

The tests were boring. Lift up your arm, move them this way, that way, every direction. Do the same with your legs, hands, feet, and head. Say a strange sentence about a fox jumping, look at this dumb string of letters on the wall and out the door from 1, 10, 50, 100, 500, 1000 ft. Yawn.

All had gone well until, “Alright now, please roll up your sleeve and remove your suit to the bicep.” Easy enough, but a weird thing to ask. He poked at the soft side of my elbow before showing me some kind of tube with a thin straw on it, “Alright are you ready? This won’t hurt a bit.” Then he stabbed me with it. 

It truly didn’t hurt, but I had no idea he would do that, nor pull the back of it and take blood. I couldn’t hold back my flinch, nor the gaggle of Flood that escaped out of my back, nor the Vile Phial born of embarrassment. I should have remembered. Ventus hated shots. I loved it when he got shots.

Ventus… I wonder if he’s still alive.

The atrociously hateable Unversed scuttled about. I expected to be told to kill them, but Vexen just looked at them curiously before pointing at the tube, “...You didn’t know what this was, did you?” Tisk tisking me like a child, “If you are ever unaware, just ask. We can't all be gifted with my immense knowledge and I'd rather explain the procedure instead of having to fix one gone wrong.”

Xehanort hated it when I asked questions. Vexen’s weird. He took my blood again, explaining what a ‘syringe’ was. I knew what they were, but I had no idea they looked like that nowadays. For some reason he also took the blood(?) of a Flood that parked itself nearby.

The tests continued. He hastily wrote my results. He started writing the results of my Unversed when they inevitably started mimicking me. I thought they would all have the same scores but apparently that wasn’t the case. Whatever one had been number 5 apparently got the best scores. 

After nearly two hours Vexen flipped to the last page of his clipboard, “Good news. You have a clean bill of health from me, Vanitas. I must say that went exceptionally fast! Most of the others groaned and moaned and were afraid of needles, nearly all doubled the time you took. I want more subjects like you.”

I don’t want to be a scientist's guinea pig. I wanted to moan and groan and complain but if the Old Bastard® ever found out I'd be picking my teeth out of the concert. So, I just shrugged, “Why struggle? It won’t stop the pain.”

Vexen blinked at me funny, like he was trying to process his unease, with a pause before snapping back to his ugly smile. “Allow me to call up Master Xehanort and he can send you on your way.” Walking over to some sort of computer and typing something in. Taking in a deep breath, I readied myself to see that old bag of bones and try not to scream. Or more importantly gouge out his eyes and die for it.

A corridor opened and in Xehanort slowly marched in. Looking at me like I'm trash, “Is he in acceptable condition?”

“More than acceptable, basically perfect!” Looking smug again, “Another perfect experiment!”

“Are you sure? That was much too fast.” Really? That’s what you're mad about?

“Oh, that was just the difference between a cooperative and uncooperative subject. He is in perfect health and can create the Unversed as before.” Vexen motioned towards me, “Tell him, how do you feel?”

“...Functional.” I muttered.

Being entirely honest, this is the best I've ever felt. I feel strong. Full of energy. Rested. Whole. Or at least as whole as my heart can get, which ached a little but nothing compared to how it was before the time jump. Master must never find out; I could never tell him. If I did, he’d make sure that I’d feel just like my old self again.

“But alas.” said Xehanort, face filled with disappointment in a poor attempt to hide his anger, “You are at the absolute weakest you’ve ever been. A tragedy after all that time I wasted upon you.”

Weak? Me? Are you kidding? I feel incredible! I could crush Ventus even more than I already could! My injuries are healed, I've got no Unversed screaming in my ear for help, I know what I need to do. I’m not helpless! 

Though my helmet can hide my scowl, it can’t hide the Red Hot Chilis of rage who sprung out of my back and bounced around. Clearly having temper tantrums outside of the Master's view. They at least kept their lids on, sparing Vexen’s fortress of stationery. 

“Don’t get testy with me boy.” Xehanort sneered. Fanning out his hand and ending all the pot’s lives in a single swoop of magic, “Without your army, without your rage, you are worthless. Weak. Ventus could easily overpower you just as he did before.”

I didn’t lose to him. Another me had; I didn’t get the chance. 

“Your first mission is to return to your creation field and make at least 100 Unversed.” What is this baby mission?! I do that in my sleep! 

Then again, it's not like I want to return to slaving away in the sun. Something easy sounds great… And utterly untrustworthy.

Xehanort continues, “Once you accomplish that, return to this lab and follow Vexen out to the Evening meeting.” Meeting? “You will be introduced to the rest of the Real Organization 13 there.” It was already weird enough to have an extra scientist guy, but Xehanort seems to have expanded his gaggle of freaks to more than just me and Braig? A group large enough to justify meetings?

“After that you will go to your new cave, one that I expect you to stay at whenever you are not on a mission or at night.” Vexen did a double take at the master's words, confused. 

“What do you mean new cave?” I couldn’t help but snap, “What happened to my old one?” What did he do to my cave??

That familiar shit eating grin creeped across the master's face. “I tore it down to hide the new facilities.” Then dropped back to a scowl, “Go to the cave you stored Shoegazers in and you will stay there at night and when not otherwise ordered to do tasks.”

What?! “Why am I getting leashed up like a dog?!”

“Are you questioning my orders boy?” In the supposed 10 years, the fossil had lost what little patience he had, “I can be rid of you right now if you like.” I merely look away, annoyed but relenting. The old man huffs, “For your knowledge it’s because of your previous insubordinate actions.” and leaves.

Scratching his head in confusion, Vexen awkwardly said, “Ah… yes. See you in the evening.” The man spent the entirety of this conversation standing behind and out of sight of Master Xehanort with growing confusion. Especially at the cave comment. I could hear him muttering as he walked away, “Why a cave? Seems inefficient with all the bedrooms…” Said without care. People are still so transparent.

I better leave. Go see what the hell has changed.

Is the old man just senile? This can't be ten years later.

Nothing’s changed! In the valley I chose for making Unversed supposedly oh so long ago, not a key was out of place, not a rock was out of sorts, and in some of the alcoves my old bloodstains remained.

 …Was Vexen just using the old man's insanity to research on his dime? The old man had quite the bit of munny squirreled away. An unfamiliar sputtery emotion in my chest escaped, making an incredibly rare Vitality Vial. The glittering teal bottle bounced around my head, giving an unnecessary smack of healing magic.

An unusual start. This Unversed was part of a set I hid from Xehanort, emotions so rare I can’t make them constantly and act in… undesirable ways. The Vitality Vial liked to play tag with other Unversed and couldn’t do anything but heal. Worthless. I used to hide the few I made in a mineshaft prone to filling with poison gas, convincing the jars to pretend they were the source of it if caught.

Wincing in recollection, a hot jab of anger to go with it, I made Red-Hots in memory of the time Ventus found them and killed them all. 

Bastard…

I turn to look at my hoard of four Unversed. A Vitality Vial and a Trinity Armor.

A Trinity Armor?!

My anger must have been more hate shaped then I realized to make that mistake. I recalled it, ‘master’ Xehanort won't allow Unversed over a certain size to roam around freely.

I tried again. A Trinity Armor. Again. An Iron Imprisoner. 

My emotions were clearly too strong to use that memory. The green bottle was so far my only successful Unversed of the mission.

“That’s one out of 99. What the heck, I was doing this just yesterday. Gotta get focused.” I took a moment to stretch and pop my back. This might actually take a while.

Thankfully I had a system for this.

The first emotion to remove was always Loneliness. Scrapers are useful Unversed for a variety of tasks. I unleashed all that I had and… one Scrapper appeared.

Oh right, I was being manhandled by that foul scientist for hours and I guess that counts as company. It wasn't good company but it was technically company. Hm.

Next in line was Annoyance. And Fury and Rage and really just Anger. They were very easy today, stupid Xehanort and his GARBAGE. I was FINE. I am STILL FINE.

But no matter how granular, no matter how petty I made my rage, my heart only wanted to break in massive chunky Unversed nearly triple my size. Why the hell don’t I go crush in Ventus’s face now? I’ve never been able to make six Trinity Armors in one day before!

Recalling them was pointless; they'd merely pop right back out. The emotions were too strong. I had no choice but to sit against the rocky wall, and focus as hard as I could on that battle.

I closed my eyes and took a breath. Right back where we were, locked in combat. A fight I could have easily won, but I had to throw it for the plan. The most Ventus could do was toss me around in the wind. Cheap shot really. But with my body on the brink, it would force the merge…

And then Xehanort had to come right along and RUIN EVERYTHING.

I opened my eyes to see a field of massive, angry Unversed swarmed in a sea of Flood. Those little roaches always did come in handy for bloating the numbers. Dismissing the large ones once more I took a count.

“96, 97, 98… oh come on 99?” I was one short! Thankfully my outburst of impatience made a Monotrucker, “What took you?!” Mission Complete.

“Jeeez, that took forever!”

From above the valley’s edge, I saw him. A tiny scrap of a boy with silver hair, “They said it shouldn’t take too long and you took over an hour!”

I leapt up to him and summoned my keyblade, “Who the hell are you?”

He backed off with some kind of bat winged blade, “Rude. The name’s Riku Replica.”

Yeah, no shit we’re all replicas apparently.

“I'm here to tell you where to go for your future missions.” Creating a dark corridor, he gestures his head towards it, “Well get moving.” Walking in with a huff. What a snot nosed twink, the kinda kid who thinks he’s stronger than everybody else but he’s just a year older and picking on the kids a grade below him.

I sent in a Flood to be sure it wasn’t some kind of trap before walking in myself. We were at a place painfully close to where my old cave was, Riku opening a hidden door that was disguised as a rock. 

Inside was some kind of blinding white sitting room. Everything was white or off grey just like the lab. Literally everything, even the appliances in the small kitchenette in the corner were grey.

“Ah, this must be Vanitas?” A tall man with blue hair and an X shaped scar across his face. “You’re dismissed, Riku.” The silver haired rat walked away and sat on one of the ugly chairs seemingly carved right from a piece of unyielding marble. 

Who are all these circus freaks? What did they do to all the secrecy? “So, who are you and what do you want?”

“Xehanort has put me in charge of setting up missions and dispatching members to complete them as needed. Today you have one that will take you to the world of Monstropolis. Have you been there before?”

“Never heard of it. Sounds stupid.”

“I will take you there, and you are to discover if the canisters of scream they have can be used to make Unversed. If so, you are to make 1000. If not make 100. Xehanort notes a lack of a size limit.”

Oh? A world with a resource that can make its own Unversed? Interesting if nothing else. I nod and Saix creates the corridor. Midway through the tunnel I feel the world's magic attempting to affect me. Damn it, I thought with a new body that issue would stop! It really sucks to be more magic than meat. Denying its attempts, I reached the end and stepped out into the world.

Massive buildings all around, clouds and rain, smoke stacks and construction as far as I bothered to see. A factory of some kind. Saix handed me a piece of paper and silently left. It had my instructions written out on it. What, did he think I'd forget that easily?! But a quick glance informed me there was more to it. I let my annoyance loose as generic Flood, “Alright we're looking for yellow canisters filled with ‘scream’ and some purple invisible lizard named… Randel. Get out there!”

Unfortunately, what was supposed to be my group of 20 generic Flood were actually now just a group of three Mad Treant who ran off. Great. Perfect. This is EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED. At least with those three out I could actually make Flood again.

Not one to be idle when it's nice cold and raining, I started taking a look around this factory myself. 

My Unversed and I got embarrassingly far into the factory without being bothered. The citizenry were in fact Monsters who barely batted an eye to my own. With all these colors, spikes, and slimes, living trees and as one local put it “little blue rapscallions” just don’t stand out.

Until a cop stopped a Treant for ID. It just looked at him, then slammed a branch into the officer's head, sending the cop flying into a nearby wall. Stupid Tree. I didn’t want them anyways but at least large frightening foliage made a decent distraction.

As a comical amount of police started arriving to fight the rampaging false fir, the Floods very quickly found some yellow canisters. However, after sniffing the spicket the Flood flinched in revulsion. It smelled like… joy? I commanded one to turn the handle and when it did the pressurized gas made a sound like an army of demented toddlers laughing. The first set we found had been filled with laughter. What kind of hellish purpose were these FREAKS collecting children's laughter for?!

Slinking around the halls I found my answer in the form of many posters talking about a policy change. Muttering to myself, “‘Effective immediately we here at Monsters Incorporated will be using the more ethical and fruitful power of children's laughter instead of their screams and fears.’ What?”

That’s when the wall behind me started talking with a sniffly voice. “Isn’t it the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard? Monsters making children laugh?”

“WHAA!” I flinched. As several Thornbites launched out from me and immediately got into a battle-ready stance.

The wall opened a small pair of eyes before slowly the light shifted, revealing the eyes were actually attached to a long serpent like body. Was this the lizard I was looking for?

It laughed, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I WAS NOT SCARED.” I shouted, unable to control my volume.

“Don’t sweat it, I was a professional scarer after all.” The creature was quick to change the subject. “But boy that guy wasn't kidding; you guys work fast! The other guy literally just left!” 

I hate talking to people. “...Are you Randel?” Randel. Really? Seriously, who looked at this thing and named it Randel?

“Randall. It’s okay, frequent mistake.”  The lizard is so intensely annoyed beneath the surface, “Yes yes, the big man in the coat said another coat guy would show up and need canisters of scream to make me minions?” Xehanort is giving random lizards control and access to my Unversed? Asshole, I hate it when people do that. Randall taps his fingers against each other, “I have the canisters right over here.”

Alright. Everything was at least set up easy for me. What's it going to be like unleashing Unversed of other people's emotions? The more I thought about it the more I hated the sound of it. My own emotions cause me no end of troubles, let alone someone else's slimy misery.

We reached a hidden corner of the factory in almost silence aside from the weird tapping of his feet. He rolled one of the yellow tubes towards me, “There are still a fair amount of them around. After I see you make some monsters, I'll go find you more.”

Easy. I hold one and crack it open just a pinch to-

Against my will I feel the screams release and rip right through me, coming out the other end as disgusting snail creatures covered in Flood. I closed it immediately and still 16 Unversed were made at that single moment.

But they don’t feel right. Unversed already feel like foreign parasites, yet these are just…  A tug at them isn’t enough to get their attention. I have to give a forceful mental yank like as if I were trying to control a godforsaken Heartless to get them to look at me. “These fit your bill?”

“Excellent!” Randall said as he clasped his multiple sets of hands together, “They’ll be perfect for scaring later and for now they can cause a good and perfect ruckus!” He blinks, “I can't lie, I was hoping for more of the trees.” Of course he saw that.

Making 1000 of these guys would take no effort on my part. They don’t feel like me at all. They don’t drain me like my Unversed. One of the stupid Not-Mine Flood hopped off a railing at a height I knew would kill them. I commanded the Mine-Floods on the ground that had prepared to catch it to stand down, and with a wet splat it died. It didn't hurt me. Interesting to know. Maybe I should steal a few canisters and bring them back for painless training fodder...

With a snap of my fingers, “Follow mine and Randalls orders.” Turning to the lizard, “Give it a shot.”

The multiple hands do a sharp clap in excitement, before fanning out, “Go crazy! Cause chaos! If you see Mike or Sully rip ‘em to shreds!” With the order given they scattered. “Oh ohohoh! Keep making more! I’m going to direct them from the cameras!” 

I return to the canister. It's a bizarre feeling as I hold it. Trepidation. Opening the can again I hear it scream and more and more Unversed pour out, some old faces but a weird amount of new ones. Thornbites of all kinds made from panic and fear. Hareraisers and Jellyshades of fearful anticipation. Slug frog tortoise things of hatred. Toad Tortoise. Toad Turtles. Turtle toads. Yeah, Turtletoads. That’s a good enough name for them.

But for a canister supposedly only filled with “Children's Screams” there is more in them. Adult fear. From the monsters? They make a spiked variation of the Turtletoads. Contemptuous double face flowers. Snake like. Flowersnakes? Whatever. Shoegazers, Axe Flappers, and even rare Flame Boxes; they really treat the children like dangerous wild animals.

I finished off a single canister and it made nearly 300 Unversed. This is the easiest job I've ever done.

When I'm done and it's time to go, I feel no different physically than when I started. Maybe a little tired and my ears kind of hurt from all the screaming, but it’s nothing to making a fresh batch myself. The Unversed created are low quality garbage, perfect for a low tier lizard like Randall. Mission Complete.

But emotionally I feel… sticky. Like as if my body had been a filter and was now filled with grime. Trying to release those feelings I realized it was left over other people’s feelings. Their terror and hatred clung to the corners of my being. Disgusting. I can't wait to go home, let them out and kill them all.

Making a Corridor I returned to the outside of the place I encountered Saix and walked in. He looks up from his desk and nods, writing something on a paper.  “How was your first mission?”

“Easy. Took just less than an hour.” Saix freezes, confusion in his gut before a stark realization. “What?”

“Be aware that Monstropolis has a considerable time distortion compared to here.  It’s been nearly six  hours since I last saw you.”

I shrug, “Yeah, most worlds have considerably different days then here. Xehanort always says it’s a boon cause you can get more things done here than anywhere else.” Though it’s been 10 years (supposedly) they must have only just set up shop if they ain't used to that yet.

Saix then slides a paper towards me, “Please fill in this sheet to confirm the status of the mission.” Paperwork? Really? When did Xehanort get so…bureaucratic? It's a waste of 15 minutes. At least my handwriting is only mangled because it's bad and not because my fingers are crooked anymore. I give it back to him, he nods, stamps it with a stamp that says “B” and says, “You're free for the day.”

I wish. I create a corridor back to Vexen’s lab. Stepping out I notice my Unversed from earlier are still mostly here. Vexen is currently ordering the few Flood to rearrange some papers, “Yes yes, now move that stack of papers over to the electron spectrometer.” They dutifully carry out the task. 

Walking up behind him I say, “Vexen.” 

He jumps nearly a foot in the air before turning to me, “Ah! Vanitas! Missions all done for the day?” nodding, “Good good. I must say the Unversed make for excellent help.”

This stinks. What do I say to this guy? I hate talking, and he still stinks. “Even the pots?” Xehanort always hated them and called them very useless flying nuisances.

“Oh certainly! They’re currently keeping several parts of the lab under better temperature control.” Vexen annoyed sighed, “Even the best air conditioning Radiant Garden has to offer can’t keep up in a desert this hot.” Taking a glance at a clock on the wall, “Ah yes, the Evening meeting is about to start. Has anyone informed you abo-”

“No.”

“Ah. Well, there are two meetings a day. One at 4 AM KBG time and one at 6 PM KBG time. You are expected at both unless given a prior notice to skip out. They are held at the Pillars of Revolve. It’s a new installation near where I believe it was called the ‘Seat of War’?” Old man still can’t name things for shit. “I find the meetings are dominated by the same few voices, so don’t feel too expected to speak.” First bit of decent news all day.

With a nod I wait, Vexen finishing up his orders to the Flood, before finally making a corridor we both silently use. 

“I believe that pillar is unused.” He points to it and corridors to his own. I corridor to the top of that one. The rocks are definitely just some of Xehanort's terraforming magic at play. The view is… unspectacular as the many, many people of this ‘Organization’ appear one by one. All of them in black coats, each one looking stupider than the last. So many weird Xehanort looking freaks with only two familiar faces. 

The old master himself, atop the tallest pillar, and Braig still looking as dumb as ever. 

Not all of the pillars were used. Seems there will still be more clowns gained in the coming days. 

The meeting began, “My fellows in war, I have great news to impart.” Pointing over to me, “We have a new member within our ranks. Vanitas is his name, and keep your interactions with him to a minimum. In other news we have reasons to believe the keyblade bearer who thwarted us in the past may begin his new journey very soon.”

Wait, was that really it about me? I’m his damned apprentice and that's all he had to say, ‘don’t interact’? That's stupid. I took a look around as he droned on about nothing. Vexen spoke up about things. Saix talked about money and schedules. The silver haired freaks looked all dignified and above it all and everyone else looked bored.  

It was hard to follow but I got the gist of the new plan for the X-blade. 7 hearts of light to fight 13 hearts of darkness. If they don’t engage, we kidnap the 7 Princess of Light. Okay…

Out of the blue the old man calls out my name, “Vanitas. I have some information particular to you today. Firstly, your overall mission for this time is to maximize your production of Unversed. So make sure not to kill any of them.”

Who is this? This can’t be Xehanort! This is the total opposite-

“And know that Sora, the little hero, is the one currently harboring Ventus’s heart.”

My blood instantly goes to boil, Ventus, that little rat is currently hiding? Inside someone? What a useless creep. Sora huh? I’ll have to keep my eyes peeled so I can rip out that little rotten coward. How did he win AND WHY IS HE HIDING FROM ME?!

Out of curiosity I reached out through our D-Link. Hazy and tells me nothing other than Ventus is still alive. Yeah, I sure knew that! If he were dead, I would be too!

How did he win?! His magic was laughable, and that half-hearted keyblade he carried was a joke! Did he cheat somehow? He must have! I didn’t lose, he just cheated. Maybe this Sora freak was in on the cheat. Maybe we both killed each other and this ‘Sora’ sat on the side lines with an elixir and Ventus’s favorite bedtime story, the cowardly little baby.

I was tapped lightly on the shoulder, and I nearly took off Saix’s hand for it. He merely looked at me and said, “The meeting is over.”

Finally, I wanna go to sleep already and end this day.

The shoegazers cave was kind of infamous to Xehanort, as it was the only cave of Unversed he couldn’t destroy in a single hit, and in fact, usually couldn’t destroy more than a handful at a time due to coordinated shielding. I never had anything to do with it, but Xehanort always thought I did. So as much as I wanted to enjoy the stupid pointless victory it always just got me several extra hours of ‘training’.

Xehanort must have remembered that, as just passed the entrance there was a huge pile of trash.

The cave could comfortably be broken up into four parts; an entrance about two elephants long and wide, a cavern in the middle that was quite comfortably large with a high ceiling, maybe a 2x2 cube of elephants big, tiny passages all over the cave that were where the shoe Unversed actually lived, and a tiny room way way way in the back I hid behind a bolder for those nights I felt like sleeping somewhere safer. I barely fit in it let alone an elephant.

And Xehanort felt like blocking it all with trash. Great. Not the first time he's done this. My new disgusted posse of Sea-Salt frosted over the junk to help suppress the smell. I forced out a few Bruisers to help clear a path. Thankfully that's as far as the trash went, and it was mostly electronic waste anyways. Lots of strange metal boxes.

Once again, I find myself wondering if it really has been 10 whole years. Though this cave was now unnaturally empty of hopping shoes and red glowing eyes it was exactly how I had left it before. Even when I walked to the far back and walked around the boulder, I found the slab of wood I call a ‘door’ still there in front of the tiny room intact. Maybe a bit more splintery? Eh. Hard to tell. The paint had already been peeling before.

Picking it up and sliding out of the way revealed the tiny closet sized room. I like small rooms for sleeping. It even still had the white and black splotchy rag I left on the floor to sleep on. Dusty, but none the worse for wear.

I walked back to the center of the cave before I noticed something new was here; a magic hidden in wait. I couldn't tell what it was but it was about four feet into the trash pile entrance room. I had almost reached the exit of the cave when I remembered Xehanort’s orders; I'm supposed to be trapped here. I can't even leave to go check out any other changes. Whatever. There were likely none to see anyways.

Finally letting loose, I screamed. I made Unversed that I tossed about but didn't kill. I'm not allowed to. I'm not allowed to kill the vermin, I'm not allowed to leave, and somehow somehow through all my efforts trying my absolute hardest Ventus Still. WON.

How?!

After a few minutes of screaming, I finally calmed down. The cave was now much livelier again with the new Flood. I hated their gross little guts but… it at least felt normal.

And from a distance I heard it, “Uh… hello? Uh… Mr. V- V…uh… Venities?”

“Vanitas!'' I stomped out to see a blonde mulleted man with what might be an instrument standing at the very entrance to the cave. “What do you want?”

“Uh…the big wigs, you know, told me to show you around some? Like where to get food and the bathroom and all? Vexen figured you probably weren't told about any of it.”

Hmp. I don't know this man, but he is wearing the coat and since I can't go off-world I can't get food. “Fine.”

Begrudgingly he felt the need to teleport into the main part of the base and then walk everywhere, “Uh, ok first things first, this is sorta the check-in slash breakroom. Saix is here usually. Uh, the chairs look bad but they’re alright.” I don’t believe him. 

Down a nondescript hall, “These here are the men’s baths. Uh, don’t get it mixed up with the one across or Larxene will kill you.” Who cares? 

Another meaningless decoration free hallway, “Uh here are the rooms. But uh you live in a cave so that might not be handy? This one is mine.” He lives in the 3rd room on the left that smells of cheap incense and even cheaper cologne. 

And then lastly, “I don't really know anywhere else you'd really want to know about? Maybe the library but the scary old man practically lives there.” No thank you. “Cool, cool, tours over, let's go to the final location and visit the mess hall.” 

Down three more hallways without any landmarks to a set of double doors. Corridors thankfully don't need any of this navigational nightmare.

Walking into a room with a ton of long tables and a window along a wall, “Ok uh… this is the mess hall. Food served by Dusks… I guess whenever you ask? I don't know.” How ‘helpful’. The hall was currently filled with a number of people snacking on… something. I have no idea. I don’t care. I followed behind the weirdo to the window. Inside was a silvery worm thing with bound hands that gave me a plate of… something.

On my way back to the tables one of the weird silver haired Xehanort look-alikes arrived, “You.” Pointing at me, “You're not allowed to eat with the others.”

“...Who are you?” What a brat. I eat wherever I want.

“Xehanort.” He grinned. For a moment I thought he was just being stupid but then.

“Oh. Yeah. Time travel.” God you're as ugly as a youngin as you are an old man. But the news about not having to eat with all these weirdos was nice.

It wasn't enough to save me from Vexen’s, “Excuse me Vanitas?” I turned toward him. What does he want? “Could I please bother you for a few more Unversed? Particularly any with fingers would be nice, I need a few more hands around the lab you see.”

Orders are orders. And the Unversed under his command hadn’t sent any distress signals so… sure? I made a variety, Flood, Scrappers, a few more Sea-Salts, and a Bruser. “This enough?” If I make him a few now maybe he won’t bother me later. The rest of the room stares at me, some in confusion, intrigue and in a few cases intense disgust. 

“Excellent! Send them to my lab.'' Vexen was at least just surprised. I send the signal and they wander off. With a nod, I turn and leave.

Returning to my cave, I found the Unversed stationed there had made progress on the trash foyer. There was now a clear, if winding, path to the middle room. They had found an actual door in the mess and placed it at the entry of the cavern. They even sorted the smaller trash some and burnt what could easily burn. I'd rather the constant smell of smoke than rot. There was a trash can deliberately placed right in the middle, surrounded by smaller heavier trash, “What's up with this?”

A Shoegazer explained as it hopped by, ‘Trash arrives via portal in roof.’ How efficient. 

Inside around all the winding little tunnels and hidden alcoves Unversed were making their strange little nests and making the most of the design the Shoegazers had originally made. 

I sat for a moment in the center of the cavern taking stock of the important events of this long ass day. Was about to kill Ventus (cheater). Xehanort (blasted old geezer) said no. Said I lost somehow (bullshit). I got a checkup from Vexen (Weirdo), I made Unversed for a lizard (why?), and I ate…something. It didn't taste like anything.

At last, I could rest…

Wandering to the entrance of my cave I thought about... About… And then I released those thoughts in the form of an Archraven and retreated back inside. The moment I did the magic of the cave must have finally kicked in as there was a barrier keeping me from leaving. I tried to make a corridor and it failed. Several Unversed tried to corridor away but were unable to. We punched and scratched and it didn’t budge. We were all officially locked up until they let us out.

Sighing, I looked round the cavern and found a partially flat and clear portion of rock. That’ll do. I walked up to it and as far top right as I could go, I left a small tally mark.

Day 1. The last time I had tried, I lost count. Fell unconscious too many times. Couldn’t be sure how many days had passed when I was out.

For some reason I find myself in an unusually optimistic mood.

Today wasn't a complete waste. Sure, it’s uprooted everything I ever worked for but… I'm in…good health. No pain. With how Sora’s going I'm going to find him and kill Ventus in revenge. While I hate this gang of clowns so far, it does mean there are more hands to actually get things done and it's not just me and the old man. Not hurting Unversed means I won't get any good training done but it also means I stay pain free for longer. Maybe there will be something else I can fight. Heartless? No way, no one would be stupid enough to release those miserable louts. Not even Xehanort was that far gone.

I walk into my tiny room and set the door back. I lie on my raggedy carpet and curl up. Yep, just as rocky as before. I’ll get him this time. I’ll get my revenge… I’ll get everything back…

On this first night, I fell asleep easy…

Chapter Text

- Day 2 -

I awoke at the break of dawn just as I always did, finding myself surrounded by a few Scrappers. I hate these ones that appear in the morning and I kill them. Xehanort’s orders be damned. I made it to the morning meeting with time to spare. Mostly spent pondering that cheater.

This meeting had an update about the location of the new 7 Princess of Light. I had heard about them before as being some kind of backup plan, weird that they seem to be backup plan nine instead of two. The Organization was also, in fact, stupid enough to use Heartless. 

I wonder if T- I shook my head as I nearly remembered their name. They must be…as neutral as ever but as close to happy as they could ever hope to be with their creations running amuck.

Some brat named Riku was apparently stupid enough to conduct a rescue mission in the Dark Realm. It wasn’t going well. Wonder what would possibly be the issue with charging right into the heart of darkness is, maybe he needs more worthless friends to light up the way. Ugh, I hope he dies soon. I was so confused when I first heard his name brought up, because the other Riku, who I guess takes that replica name way more literally, was standing right there.

After the meeting, I don’t know how he did it but the idiot with an instrument caught my eye and pointed me to a corner. Where Saix was standing and a line had formed. I entered it not sure what to expect.

Turns out Saix would linger so everyone could get their missions and head off sooner instead of having to go all the way back to the break room. My missions today were to go to Monstropolis again and make another batch of 1000 Unversed before returning to the Graveyard and making 105. It was written on a small little note just like last time.

I went, the last thing I had seen before I was done yesterday was Randall high up in the room staring at me… and he still was. Jeez, Saix had a point that was a hell of a desync. He looked confused, and yeah, if I had seen someone leave and return in less than a moment, I'd think they were freaks too.

The Unversed were swiftly made, for some reason this batch being particular to making the Flowersnakes. Rotten to the core, trouble from the very first one, those acid spitting punks had to be shooed off by other Unversed to get a move on and stop hassling me. I'm getting better at dodging them while doing my work. Again, I finished my mission quickly and left.

At my Unversed making valley, 105 of purely my own took me about three hours. Any longer and I risked getting in trouble by missing the meeting. My miserable failing heart just wants to make a ton of Mad Treant lately. 

Sora was still only starting his journey. They discussed the possible whereabouts of a Princess of Light named Kairi who they couldn’t find. I said and was told nothing.

I left for the mess hall for food. This time I could at least identify the food as some kind of sandwich.

Today was boring.

- Day 3 - 

I awoke to around 17 Scrappers and killed them all. Then I went to the meeting. It was about Princesses again. I left for Monstropolis, got a strange comment which might have been a compliment from Randall, and 1000 minions later I went to the graveyard to make 110 more. 2 and a quarter hours. I'm speeding up. The meeting was about nothing. When will I get news about Ventus? I made the mistake of making a snide comment during it, and now I will never be served breakfast ever again. Xehanort seems to have forgotten that he already did that rule.

The food was some kind of soup. Or maybe it was just a cup of colored water, I can’t tell.

- Day 5 -

I really am nothing but another face in this crowd. Nothing to say at the meetings, nothing to do but go on missions. Not even training from the master, who hasn’t even looked at me since he repeated his prior punishment. He doesn’t seem to care that I killed nearly 35 Scrappers today. Is he keeping track at all?

I hate the way they look at me. How they shutter in raw weakness. They’ve never been a threat to Ventus. Why am I stuck making these things?

Randall crawls back around canister three of the mission and asks “Say would it be possible to make like a huge creature if you used a ton of canisters to make just one guy?”

That sounds like a horrible time, “It might. Want to try it now?” It’ll probably just make a mess that explodes into a million Flood. Maybe I’d be spared the mission for the better part of a month if that happens. And maybe Hareraisers will learn to smile.

He holds up his hands, “No no! I’ll make another pile of scream canisters just for it. I’m just thinking of making a big boss monster, for the finale ya know?”

Telling them it won’t work never works, I just sigh, “You will want to supply something to give it structure. Even then, I still can’t guarantee it won't just be a massive angry pile of goop.”

He shrugs, “As long as it’s angry and destroys the right people without destroying the whole building, it's fine by me. I’ll get on that.” Randall rubbed his hands excitedly before camouflaging and wandering away.

Then it was 120 and a meeting about Sora. I guess.

I ate my meal on top of my cave today. A bad idea, as looking out to the horizon of my long-standing prison… I turn to the Arch Raven I made, “Now we're stuck on a prison in the prison. Get out of here.” Tossing it into the air as it flew and corridors away. 

More Archravens escaped me. I went to sleep even earlier tonight. There’s no reason to stay up.

- Day 10 -

Woke up. 

How did Ventus beat me? 

49 Scrappers.

 It couldn’t be raw strength.

 Meeting happened.

 He cheated with one of his friends.

 Monstropolis.

 He used some magic to make our merge impossible maybe?

 Graveyard.

 Maybe Xehanort screwed up and Ventus found darkness along the way.

 Meeting.

 I hate him.

 Food.

 I wish he was dead.

- Day 22 - 

Wake. 63. Meet. Monster. Grave. Meet. Food. 

I want to run, but if Xehanort found out he’d kill me slowly and make everything I’ve suffered strived for pointless. I just continue to let the birds run away. It’s much safer.

-  Day 23 -

Wake66MeetMonsterGraveMeetFood-

“Vanitas?” said the sickly blonde man. 

“Hm?” What was his name again… I hadn’t seen him in a while.

He smiled an untrustworthy smile, “With my latest success in making and automating the replica process I have found myself with a bit of spare time between tasks. I would like to formally request to study the Unversed and again petition you to create more for me.”

Thinking about it, I hadn't heard a peep out of the lab rats. Other than the occasional almost interesting thing like ‘His weapon is a shield made of ice.’ or ‘He keeps finished replicas in cold storage in the back.’ or ‘Did you know pure potassium explodes in water?’ I didn't. They would know I didn’t the cheeky bastards. The Monstropolis ones had comically delayed reports of slow-going misery with their unnaturally born counterparts. And the Graveyard squad really only had to worry about the demon woman with the knives.

This man had only used the Unversed as manual laborers. I still don’t trust him but… 

“Whatever. How many would you like?”

“Excellent! Hmm 10 to start, of the type you called ‘Flood’ ‘Scrappers’ and ‘Red-Hot,’ and four more ‘Sea-Salt’ if that is acceptable.”

That’s more than ‘just a few’ but whatever, “I’ll make them outside and send them your way.”

“Actually, if it were ok, can you hold off until we get to the lab? I’d like to observe their creation as well.”

Now that’s weird but… fine. It’s not like I have anything else to do. Hell, it's time out of the cave. Shrugging, “Fine. I'm going to eat first.”

“Excellent! See you then.”

Am I really going to do this? He’s setting up a weird chair, pulls out more clipboards, and junk… am I seriously going to do this? Am I really that bored?

I think about that empty cavern with nothing but the sounds of tiny scuttling feet for hours. Staring at a rocky roof with the only changing things being a few more lines on the wall.

…Yes. I’m going to do it. This is so stupid but… bah. 

Vexen taps on the weird bloated chair, “Come now! Sit, sit! I insist.”

“But I thought you wanted me to make Unversed?”

Already gearing up to write something on the board, “Can you not make them while sitting?”

“I can, but most of them come out of my back.”

“Then I will get you a stool,” calling out, “Demyx! Fetch me a stool!”

The lazy instrument man arrived with the stool grumbling and wandered back off to nowhere. “That's just the intern.” says Vexen, “Just ignore him.”

After some more insistence I sat on the stool. And he sat on his chair, “Now, please during this interview could you please be honest with me when it comes to the information? The more accurate you can be, the easier this will go for the both of us.”

Nodding. I don't want to be but Xehanort hasn't rescinded his previous orders. I have to tell this man everything or I'll be punished. Xehanort's new wrath isn’t worth my few secrets.

Setting onto the lightly cushioned seat, Unversed already threatened to burst out of my back. I pulled off my coat. It feels weird when I do now, like peeling back a third layer of skin.

“Any reason for this?” pointing at my coat with his pencil.

Flood crawl out of me, “It makes it easier. I don’t have to but it's easier.” I hate this. More crawl forth. 

“Ah! I see you’ve already begun! Tell me about the basics of Unversed creation.” He sounds and looks confident and fine with this, but his disgust is not so easily hidden from me. It lingers in the air.

“They…” I unconsciously glance around the room for exits, “are manifestations of my emotions.” I lift one up, “These are called Flood. They… are the most common.” More crawl free. “They are also the weakest.” Even more. I can’t stop twitching; I don't want to tell him anymore! “They… They…” Stop looking at me!!

“Vanitas.” He interrupts with a strange look, “Are you… anxious?”

“I'm fine!” I snap, before a variety of Unversed that say otherwise crawl forth, “I’m just not…used to this.” I stare as a Hareraiser hides behind some paperwork.

“Explaining or an audience?” His tone is too even. He’s waiting for me to make a mistake.

“Both.” I won’t make one.

Vexen writes down things, “I've noticed you have created Unversed that were unrequested. Is making them more of a conscious or unconscious effort?”

He’s going to tell the Master. “...Unconscious. But I can force it.” He’s going to tell him all my weaknesses so he can beat them out of me. But for now, Vexen is content to scribble away at the board.

“I’ve noticed the Flood stand out amongst the Unversed; they have no brand. Any reason for this?”

I have literally no idea, “I don’t know.” He stares at me, waiting for more, “...Maybe they’re too simple?”

“In what way are they too simple?”

“Flood are sort of the leftovers and scrap material of the Unversed. Most are shaped and fueled by the main emotion they’re created from. But not Flood. They rely more on their core than any other Unversed.” I straighten my shoulders and glare directly at him. I’m no weakling. If he thinks the Flood being weak is some kind of opening, he’s got another thing coming…

That seemed to get his attention big time, writing furiously, “A core you say?”

Holding the chair to hide my jittery hands, “Kill them and sometimes you get a synth material. That's the core.” If he so much as makes a move, I'm going to break his skull on the nearest rock.

“Interesting, interesting…” He jots a few more times before looking up a bit perturbed, “Is it really me that's got you like this? I know interviews have never been my forte but I would have hoped I had not offended too much. I thought at first you were just nervous but you seem spoiling for a fight?”

“Making Unversed in front of people has never normally gone without one.” I won’t be killed by some scientist trying to dig up my weaknesses…!

He clicks his pen shut, and slides the clipboard away, with an irritatingly proud yet soft smile he says “That’s enough. You’re done for the day.” Huh? “I can see you're not used to it and it's agitating you. We have time, no need to be hasty.” Vexen takes count, “Though it would be appreciated if you made those last few Unversed you haven't yet created. If it’s not that trying-”

“I'm not weak!” Snapped at him and made the final group that he requested in one exhausting go, “There! Satisfied?!”

“Very. Thank you.” What the hell?! He didn't mean it, but he actually said it! “In any case, you're free to go today. From now on after dinner come to my lab for an hour. We’ll work on this some more and hopefully you’ll calm down as we progress.” Who is this guy? What does he want?!

For now, I just put on my coat and march on out. What the hell was that all about?! What does he want to know? He asked more questions than Xehanort ever did. What is he really after?

I make it back to my cave and stew for a bit. What could it be? Does he want to make Unversed himself? They are a helpful army. Is Xehanort planning to replace me if Vexen figures it out? That smile, it reminds me too much of Ventus’s stupid master. What was his name? Square? I don’t waste time on the dead.

Unversed poured out of me, thankfully of the small and angry variety and eventually, I calmed down. It's nothing. It's literally nothing, Vexen probably just meant it when he said that. He looks and smells like a big fat gross nerd. If Xehanort wanted me dead he would have just let Ventus kill me, Xehanort already knows my weaknesses, there is nothing to be gained from Xehanort like this. Nothing. Everything… is fine.

I go to my room and collapse down on the floor. I'm exhausted.

- The first hour of Day 24 -

Dreams don’t happen for me anymore. I remember I used to dream a lot but perhaps back then I was still Ventus. Nightmares however… I still have nightmares.

A stab, right at the base of my neck right under my chin. It's a small stab but after a moment it slides down…and that’s when it hits me, I'm awake. I'm not asleep. This is not a dream!

Lurching up and slamming out the door I stumble into the center cavern, forcing a Sonic Blaster into existence to light up the area, yanking the coat off as fast as I could and…

Nothing. I can still feel a slice going down my chest all the way down and there is nothing there. I peel back my dark suit and my skin remains unbroken. Wha? What the….

A Flood. A single solitary Flood is under attack and its feelings are absolutely undiluted and clear. Arms and legs held down, and being cut open. Oh for the… no… I take a breath and peek out through its eyes. 

It was Vexen with a surgical mask and a scalpel in hand. I look away immediately. 

There's no way I can sleep through this. I try to leave the cave but find my face bouncing against the barrier. I stay there, face against the cold wall, the chill air of the night, among the pile of rubbish, gazing out into nothing to try and ignore the feeling. 

My skin isn’t peeling back. I'm looking at it right now and it's not but I feel it. From neck to stomach, from shoulder to shoulder I feel perfectly straight cuts. The skin pulls back. The parts of me that shouldn’t feel air do. Newborn Flood surround me, poking me all over, jabbing, biting, trying anything to distract me from their singular brethren’s suffering. But this pain is unlike any other. No one has ever tortured an Unversed like this before, so it’s hurt drowns out what little complaints the others even have.

Stop this.

I feel the scalpel moving and poking, digging.…it's because I told him about the core, isn't it? He’s going to look for it. As a scientist he’s going to be thorough and find whatever else might be within. He’s going to be disappointed. Outside of their core, made of some kind of crystal, there’s mostly just blue gunk. Sometimes you’ll find a normal rock or scrap of greenery from the Unversed being made too close to it or snacking on weird things. But they’re just hollow empty beings.

Master… Saix… Somebody… Make him stop

Floods don’t deserve sympathy. None of them do. But damn it this Flood might just earn it, as I can now feel Vexen scoop out as much as he can, carefully yanking out the core. I brace for its death but it never arrives. It’s still alive?! Somehow even though they are thoroughly gutted, it lives. And was placed inside something. I glance through its eyes again. It's surrounded by glass. I move my vision to another Unversed that should be in the room. A Scrapper that’s watching in fear catches a glance of the recently gutted Flood in a jar, on a shelf with a few more empty ones. I can still feel it’s pain.

It hurts

A Chrono Twister warns me. Dawn is still several hours away. 

I hate this. I hate this, I hate this Ihatethis Ihatethis IhatethisIhatethisIhatethisIhatethisIhatethis!

 I HATE HIM!

I’m going to kill Vexen. I don’t care what my orders are anymore. I want this to STOp. I’m gunna rip his ugLY HEad off! But I can't. If I leave, XehANORT WILL COME AFTER ME. AND IF I DON'T LET vEXEN hurt MY Unversed he will tell Xehanort I disobeyed him. I feel the Bruiser die. It must have tried to fight back. Vexen points at the Scrapper I was looking through, freezing it instantly. Picking it up and carries him over to the operating table. Another gUTTIng begins.

I claw at the barrier, unable to stand this feeling any longer. My fingers start to bleed as I dig into the barrier. As flocks upon flocks of Archravens are born.

it’s too much hurt. I can’t

But I didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t strong enough to stop this

…Ventus…

The night is too long…

- Day 24 - 

I've never been so tired at one of these meetings. The stupid height of these stupid rocks is making my head spin. Undoubtedly, I am whole but I feel like I’m several shivering hallowed out piles of skin separated from internal gunk in jars. I'm tired.

I catch myself more than once, almost passing out. I can't afford to fall here. I make a Flood in my sleeve to bite me awake.

It's not enough, Xehanort pulls me aside and burns my knuckles with a hot iron stick he brought with him, “Stay awake during meetings. What makes you think you can ignore all my insight at my meetings?!” I say nothing and take the burn. It’s nothing compared to what I felt last night. It wakes me up for now. There’s a new member here today. She visibly gasps when she sees what the Master does. He grins. She won’t disobey with the threat of this pain.

Multiple Unversed are sending me the unique misery of being alive with no cores in their chests and their bodies closer to resembling ground meat than anything they should be. Their pathetic wobbling in agony rattling in my ears. Sleeping would just be a momentary reprieve anyway; I don’t need it.

Monstropolis takes me the longest yet, yawning intermittently for the near two full hours I'm there. That Randell sent down one of those rancid ‘Not My Floods®’ with an empty cup. It wouldn't stop bothering me till I took it. The next one brought down some kind of long lidded cup with mostly spilt coffee. Is he taunting me? Asshole. I’ve never wanted a moogle coffee so badly before…

I wonder if I can just lie to Saix about how many Unversed I've made… but they have eyes somehow. They’ll find out I was lying and kick in my teeth. Not worth it. Why are there still so many canisters? 

Evening meeting: I'm awake the entire time. I never bugged an inch. The Xehanort’s are constantly checking, he won't get me twice. This time I have Flood biting both arms and my legs.

Finally, it's dinner time, and it's more mysterious tasteless white cubes. Weird texture. I head back to the lab.

The first thing I see is the original lab rats crowding around me and trying to drag and point me to an unfortunate collection of jars. Protected by a number of the silver wiggling things. It hurt to just feel it, but being in close proximity plus actually seeing the damage before me… some of the Floods had their cores outside and nearly within grabbing distance. How pathetic, but also fuck you Vexen.

Another glace at the cores and I’m baffled. What the hell is wrong with them? Not a single soothing crystal in sight. Instead, all the cores are shaped like unversed eyes. Did Vexen do something to them?

The shit stain of a scientist arrived, “Oh you're here early! Good I have some interesting-”

“I can feel everything they feel you know.”

He looked confused before a startled laugh, “Pfft! That's absurd.”

“What the hell are you laughing for? That ain’t a joke. If I was allowed to, I would strap you to that table so you too could know exactly what it feels like to be sliced open and have all your insides scooped out and placed into jars on some asshole's shelf. But I can't and you better spend every night praying that I never get the chance.”

Vexen looked a bit paler, “N-Noted.” He started writing a few things, “I take it that’s why the others were so hell bent on trying to attack the containers?”

Looking into the eye of what should be a pathetic Hareraiser, it writhed. Shoving a silver being away, I take down the jar the rabbit was in and crush it in my hands, “How the hell are they even still alive?” Is Ventus even still alive? I check, he is. Still hasn't moved. I break another jar.

…Is he also in a jar!?

“Ah they can exist without the core because the core just provides them enough ambient magic to… ahh..” Vexen seems displeased at my destroying the Unversed, “It just provided them with… more… ah…magic…could you please spare the jars-”

I rip off the lid of one and pull out the Flood inside, it droops like one of those fancy spiral apple peels before I crush its little neck. I placed the jar back where I grabbed it from. Maybe Ventus is dead in a jar somewhere and my senses are just broken.

After all that, Vexen still wanted me to do his stupid ‘interview.’ It did not go well. No, I don't understand the correlation between what they drop and what emotion they're made of and if I did I sure as hell wouldn’t tell you. I tell him lies that they only ever drop the one type of crystal. I don’t feel like telling this jackass a single thing.

He places his clipboard down and a serious expression stretches across his face, “Vanitas?”

“What?!”

“I understand now that I have done the wrong maneuver. I will do no dissections on the Unversed tonight. But tomorrow I would like one session to study this aspect of Unversed and the pain you share.”

‘Tonight’ he says…

“And why the hell would I agree to that?!”

“To be honest, I'm not giving you a choice. You’re right in that Xehanort’s order still stands. But I will make it worth your while. What do you want, Vanitas? Munny? Power? Knowledge?”

Can he- “Make a heart of pure light.”

He looked baffled, “No-”

“Then you have nothing I want.” It would have been too easy…

He wrinkles his nose, “Well think about it some more, because tomorrow will be here before you know it. We’re done.”

“Yeah. Cause I'm not ever coming back to this dump.”

“Vanitas," he says sharply, while lifting up his hand. “Take off your visor.”

Shit here comes the punishments. I take off my visor. He approaches and Ow… DID HE JUST FLICK ME ON THE NOSE?!

And then he just walks away?! That’s it?! No burning no stabbing no nothing?! Prick! Why’d he do that?! I marched out of there. 

The frustration building is unleashed in my cave as many Iron Imprisoners and Red-Hots. They try to leave as fast as I make them, but then are halted by the barrier's arrival, making the cave swelteringly hot. I don’t give a damn if Xehanort can tell I'm killing them; I slaughter them all. With the anger gone I'm just left with confusion. Why’d he do that? I better remind myself to ask him when I see him tomorrow.

I slept uninterrupted that night.

- Day 25 - 

I awake to less Scrappers. I don’t bother to count.

The first thing that happens as I step out to the meeting field is I'm grabbed by the head and slammed into a rock destroying my visor. It’s the Master of course. 

“Thought I wouldn’t notice, eh?” His boot digs into my temple, “This is where you will stay for the rest of the meeting.” Before looking up, “My fellows in dark design. Today…” and the meeting goes as uninteresting as it did before. Sora has finally set out on his mission on a ship. Xehanort adds emphasis to some of his points by crushing my head. It’s nothing he hasn’t done before. I heard them laughing, especially the little master Xehanort, and that Riku twink.

Still going to kill them if I want.

Monstropolis had no news. Nor the graveyard. Dinner was soup.

Getting into Vexen's lab I see the intern in the area whine about something. He’s probably going to ‘help' out.

“Ah, I'm glad to see you’ve arrived.” Vexen slid past placing a pile of papers on a table, “I’ll keep this meeting brief.”

I sit on the stool. There was something I wanted to ask about but my head still hurts from this morning so I forgot.

“There will be a series of tests conducted today and they will hurt but I have potions and ethers on standby if need be.”

“Sounds fan-YOWUCH!” What the fuck?! What was that?! Something just killed a Hareraiser! I stand up but Vexen holds out an arm.

“Pardon, but as far as you know what was that sensation?”

“I don't know it felt like a Hareraiser being killed by that damn woman again!” I froze, “Did you-?!”

Vexen says with at least some guilt, “Look I couldn't get Demyx to do it! Especially the rabbits!” Then jots some things down. 

Is that what the intern's name is? “The unprompted test was to make sure you weren’t pretending. Would you like a potion now-”

“Just get it over with.” At least I'm braced for the rest of them.

Yes I feel their magic damage, yes I feel it when they are overstretched like a nobody, yes I feel their numbness, yes I feel that for all the types of Unversed. Great. I hate this. Can I kill Vexen yet?

“Alright, third to last one, and it's the last one that will hurt. Are you ready?”

I brace. A Red-Hot is smashed with a hammer. I hear the intern in the other room yelp and clearly put out a fire.

Vexen sighs, rubbing his temples, “Larxene you are now excused.” 

The ugly lemon haired lemon eyed woman comes out the back laughing nasally like she does, “Call me anytime if you want more rabbits to die! That was fun!” Before making a corridor. I'm going to make a Hareraiser murder her in her sleep.

I turned to Vexen, “Your dumb question?”

“That was a hot pot Unversed, you know that it was a hammer, tell me does it feel like your ribs were broken by a hammer or did it actually feel as though you were pottery shattering?”

“Like my skin is made of hardened clay and is shattering.” It's up there in terms of bothersome sensations. 

“Second to last one. No more of these should hurt.” Bullshit you said that about the numbnESSS-

I don't know what Deymx is saying, it’s something infantile and he’s just rubbing a Hareraisers ribs. But I'm on edge, I feel strange spiking panic, and I hate this feeling! I hate it! I hate it!! Make it STOP-!

“Demyx stop. Almost done.” He smirks as he quietly says to himself, “Can feel tickling. Despises it.”

“Really?! What’s the point of testing that?!”

“Science. Lastly, drink this." It's a potion.

“I’m fine! I told you I don't need one!”

“This test is the potion. It was going to happen either when you asked for one or now.”

I roll my eyes and snatch the bottle. I down the overly sweet liquid in one go. I'm not actually hurt so it does nothing. Vexen pages the other room, “Any changes? Did any heal?” 

He receives only a static filled, “Nope.” Scribbles.

The scientist nods, “All done. Please make me a new batch of Unversed, any will do. I will however need specifically six more Sea-Salt. I will continue the dissections at night but with anesthetics so be prepared. Please take these as payment until you figure out what you want.” 

Demyx steps out with a number of higher end restorative items. I stash them away but I don't need them. I’m not weak like Ventus needing every little scratch and boo-boo bandaged. Besides, elixirs are too rare to use.

“Also, just to be sure, Vanitas…” Vexen has this very strange, strained look on his face, but is smiling, “You…are aware of where the showers are?”

“Yes…?” I shower once a week, like how Xehanort used to dump a bucket of water on my head once a week. 

“Have you… considered using them?” 

Leaning closer to musky smelling Vexen, I don’t vomit only because I have the mercy of my glass visor, “Shut up kettle. And while you're at it, brush your teeth.” I make a corridor and leave as Vexen looks deeply annoyed and feels outright offended. 

I walk into my cave and plop down by the entrance. A dark corridor full of trash lands in the can right behind me. This place is the worst. I hope you’re also sleeping in garbage Ventus. You deserve it more than me. If not your body, then I hope Sora’s heart is a living breathing bag of trash. I hope he’s a garbage disposal of a person.

I headed to my room and tried to sleep. Inevitably I'm awoken by many Unversed having the strangest numb sensations for a few hours and then are killed.

It’s just like before. I’m going to have to get used to their suffering all over again. I can’t believe I lost my touch that fast. Maybe the Master was right…

I sleep. Kind of.

Chapter Text

- Days 26 to 37 -

A new routine has definitely been born and engraved with almost no deviation. It’s gotten… tolerable. 

With my being studied by Vexen at night, I no longer awake to a massive glut of Scrappers. Just a few who die with ease. 

The morning meetings detail our plans over and over and over again till I can recite them in my sleep. I really don’t want to. They also go over Sora’s utterly microscopic amount of progress. Meetings often dissolve into groups of members just mocking him for his weakness, how little progress he’s making, how they hope some place called Thebes burns to the ground. The bored members finally have something to look forward to.

I don’t say anything. I want to save my best material for when I finally see Ventus again and can rip him free… in about 60 years at the speed this kid is going. 

But really the kid’s plan isn’t even that bad. Letting the clock run out naturally on Xehanort’s life while being trained by people obsessed with tournament fighting isn’t the worst idea. Had we not set up shop in the Graveyard it might have been genius. But he’ll be forced to move on eventually, what with Ventus weighing him down.

Xehanort hasn't said anything to me in ages. Am I even his apprentice anymore? It’s not like he taught me much in the first place but… He could at least toss me off a cliff every once in a while.

Monstropolis is just… nothing. It’s been the same 30 minutes for about a week now. I’ve gotten really efficient at making those slimy little rats. Haven't seen Randall in ages. Things are starting to spice up some from the rampaging Unversed, but it’s still nothing. My actual Unversed stay out of the way for the most part and are just mostly hassled because the monsters think they’re associated with the other ones trying to tear down the place.

The Unversed I make at the Graveyard can finally be made through my normal process. Whatever was going on with making those stupidly large guys is over, and I can finally just keep making a sea of small cretins. My heart hurt’s is now unignorable again, aching without reprieve. But still not as bad as before. The Unversed aren’t being killed as fast as their made anymore at least.

The second meeting of the day always somehow has even less content than the first meeting. It's mostly been the ‘spy of the day’ telling how their hour of watching Sora struggle went. They’d leave and someone else would pick up in the morning. This place’s time flow sucks. I hate it.

Food continues to be a detestable boring experience I loathe that I have to partake in. What's the point? Everyone talks about different flavors, and sure they taste almost different but everything tastes as boring as the next. Why eat a sandwich or a Prickle Pepper or a piece of paper if they all taste the same as nothing at all? 

Ventus always liked food. Idiot. Wasted his time on nothing.

I hate to admit it, but the best part of my day is usually my meetings with Vexen at night. Sure, he lied about not hurting my Unversed, and sometimes forgets about the anesthetics but… it means less Scrappers in the morning. It’s never exactly the same thing every time. He started showering.

Sometimes he suggests new names for Unversed. They were all dumb, but I was almost tempted once with Hot Pot Red, but that would break the naming scheme. Maybe if the one in his lab he uses to brew mega potions lives long enough that’ll be its name… no. Unversed don't get named. If Vexen name’s it I'm killing it.

Sometimes it's really weird brain teasers. We found out that most Unversed can’t solve puzzles unless I can. All types of Bruisers still usually can’t solve puzzles that I can. Archravens and Mimic Masters can solve some puzzles I can’t. Ringers are the dominant forces of math puzzles and crush all before their randomly disappearing might.

Sometimes it's a test of power, and I was allowed to let loose and murder all the disgusting creatures as I pleased. Sometimes Unversed, most times Heartless, sometimes with the Unversed helping. Those days were the best, even if I left for the cave sore and exhausted. I want to fight more. I need to fight more. Ventus is ahead of me now… But I’m not even allowed to spar. Xehanort ordered everyone to stay away and Vexen isn’t a fighter and the intern is a coward. I feel so stiff.

One time, instead of going to Monstropolis to make Unversed, Vexen gave me a new mission. I had to buy him more paper and ink for his lab. Instead of buying it I just made my controllable Unversed steal all the company's paper and ink instead. It took so long I missed the meeting but Vexen had gotten it okayed by the Master somehow. Saix was also pleased, citing something about budget. That was…something.

I get the impression Vexen’s not really listening to me when we do the interviews. Always testing my words and spending a lot of time ignoring them only to wind up later declaring that he’s ‘discovered’ something new, when I told him about the subject a few days ago.

It’s the most interesting part of my days. It’s the dumbest thing ever. Honestly a waste of time… but… It’s fine. Sure, sometimes Vexen ‘’’’’Punishes’’’’ me, but they’re so nothing to the masters. Sometimes he compliments me, which always pisses me off. Xehanort always said those would weaken me. Thanks to Vexen and his dumb rewards I have more restoratives than ever before. Still nowhere to use them.

It’s not great… but… at least I'm…not…

I’m… not…

Then it was all over.

Without warning I walk into the lab and there's a sudden shift in the air. Vexen’s weird piles of Unversed papers are gone. The stool I'd been sitting on was gone. Replaced with another large flat table.

Vexen passed by me muttering insanely four times without noticing me before clipping me on the shoulder, “Get out of- oh! Vanitas you're here! Good, I need your muscles.” Not unusual but this behavior was, “Go fetch the replica in the back tagged with a red label on the table; can’t miss it.”

Shrugging I stepped into the back room. The moment I entered the room I was hit by the overwhelming sensation of Terror that hung in the air. Normally I wasn’t allowed back here and only saw it occasionally when the door opened, same for the intern but that hadn’t stopped him from hiding in here before. That’s probably why I was stuck with grunt work, stupid coward. Inside were mostly the weird replica dolls in tanks. I had gotten used to seeing them all over the lab in pieces hiding between all the mountains of paper, but strangely seeing them being in one piece all dressed up was kind of weird. 

The doll in question looked nothing different to the rest. Faceless. Pearly white. No features, just an organization coat with a big red sticker on the hood. I picked it up effortlessly and walked back to the main lab.

Crossing the threshold, I nearly dropped them; this doll was the source of the terror! Could have given me a heads up that I was moving a nasty living thing instead of a dumb dead doll. I drop it on the table with no grace. It’s definitely reacting to the things around it, as I could sense new startlement and confusion. 

I took a step back and waited for Vexen to explain. 

He never did. I could figure out from his insane ramblings to himself that this replica had been working and now wasn’t. I guess it shouldn’t be feeling things yet.

Wires, computers, different machines, medical equipment, Vexen seemed to throw everything at this problem that he was aware of and nothing happened except scaring the hell out of the thing on the table. He ignored me. He never spoke to me. He didn't look at me. And I just stood there for my hour and left.

That was it, I guess. No more dumb studies. Great. Now I have free time for something… no… no I don't. The order hasn’t been changed. Maybe he’ll fix it and everything will be back to the routine.

- Day 38 - 

I awoke to Scrappers again. Disgusting.

Vexen missed the morning meeting. He missed the evening one too. I think I did my tasks for the day, otherwise how’d I make it to the meeting…?

Walking in, the lab was in even more disarray than yesterday. The lab rat Unversed were hustling to get papers out of the way of equipment for a loud screaming Vexen. He kicked them if they got too close. He hadn’t done that before. The doll remained broken, and was now well on their way to despair.

It was never going to last forever. I knew he would get bored and do something else. I shouldn’t care. I hated it. I was just a momentary distraction. 

Going to my cave I felt nothing. Why would I feel anything about this? This is normal. Dealing with Vexen hadn’t been. I just need to get to sleep and stop being an idiot.

- Day 39- 

Scrappers filled my vision today but other than that my day doesn’t change. I go to the lab, not even hiding. I just stand there and get ignored. 

Vexen keeps saying solutions out loud, and the doll momentarily feels hope, before those failed hail Mary solutions dashed them again and again and again. What an imbecile of a doll. Learn to recognize patterns.

It has a heart, I think. It’s a repulsive thing, unlike any I've ever seen. It has a perfect gray sheen. 

- Day 41 -

Still more Scrappers, still nothing changes. Today Vexen caves in and asks for someone to help. That tiny silver haired punk who apparently has good replica settings or something. When Replica Riku started speaking the doll insanely became overjoyed, then confused. After the kid suddenly punches the doll in an attempt to get it moving the doll is devastated, filled with a sense of betrayal.

Serves it right, getting its hopes up again and again…

Out of boredom I made a Chrono Twister to keep track of the time for me. Unfortunately. Although he doesn't acknowledge me, Vexen sees the Unversed and uses it to overwrite my timer. “Goodness why the hell didn’t Vanitas Show you off sooner?! You're actually useful!” Prick.

- Day 43 - 

Vexen brings in that strange new girl whose hood is probably stapled to the top of her head since I've never seen her take it off. She doesn’t notice me either. By this point the doll is without hope. It seems no matter the setting, no matter the parts exchanged, the doll is immobile.

I thought I'd be happier. But it kind of just makes things even more boring.

- Day 46 -

“Vanitas.” Saix unexpectedly speaks when handing over my mission, “I'll be frank. Are you doing your missions? You’ve been completing them too quickly.” I stare blankly at Saix, then reach behind his desk and snatch my mission card for my Unversed production in the Graveyard, “What are you-”

Sitting on one of those horrid seats clearly unfit for the mortal form, I glare at him unbreaking as I make every last Unversed directly in front of him within 10 minutes. Packing the room wall to wall with snippy Unversed of all kinds.

Disgusted and a tad embarrassed, he silently gives me the Monstropolis job without another word. Today was the first time I ever got an ‘S’ for a mission. It’s all in the new trick I started using.

My trick? I just think about being in the doll's place. Poked, prodded, ripped apart, talked to like shit right in front of my face, unable to see, unable to move. Unable to retaliate. 

Just thinking about it for a moment is so viscerally unpleasant it guarantees a pack of Thornbites and swarms of something else. 

When I stand by today, I feel nothing in the air. The doll might be dead. No longer are any feelings exuding from it. But the work of the trio continues unchanging.

- Day 48 - 

It's 15 minutes into working on them Vexen collapses into his hands, defeated. Wearily, with one hand and not looking up he groans, “That's enough. I’m calling it here.” The two brats leave, the silver rat laughing and the hooded one as mouse-like as ever. 

After nearly eight minutes of silent contemplation Vexen looks up. Then to his side toward the floor. Then looks up in confusion as he sees my shoe and flinches back in momentary terror, “WHAT The- Vanitas?? How long have you been there??”

“Every day for an hour for well over a week.”

He looks so horrified and confused, “WHY?” shaking his head sharply, “Ack! Never mind that!!” standing up and trying to compose himself into something a bit less pathetic, “Ah. So. You must have seen the situation with the faulty replica.” he clapped his hands, clearly annoyed “Any comments you’d like to share?”

“When I picked them up to put them on the table, they had been feeling emotions. Yesterday they stopped doing that.”

“It… felt emotions?”

“Yep.”

Disbelief stretched across Vexen’s face “...You can sense emotions?”

“Yeah. How else are Unversed supposed to eat negative emotions if they can't sniff it out? How am I supposed to know what the Unversed are made of if I can't?”

Vexen pauses but then just shakes his head, “Okay. Okay… so there was something in it at some point. But now it's definitely gone?”

“I don't sense anything right now. Haven't since the day before. I think its heart has passed on.”

“And you kept this to yourself because…?”

“I've been standing here, out in the open right in front of this filing cabinet, and you could have asked me at any point.”

The scientist rolled his eyes, “Bah! In any case, good thing you're here.” He walks over to the doll and lifts it up, “Here; take this to your room, or whatever they’re calling the trash heap these days. Do with it whatever you please. I just want it taken care of.” and drops it in my arms.

…Maybe it’s the exhaustion from all the Unversed I've been creating catching up to me, but I have no idea what the hell he wants. Does he want me to dispose of it or is this like one of Xehanort's stupid word games where it turns out he wants me to take care of it until he wants it back some day? 

Vexen of course has to exit the lab while complaining about something else and I don't even get the chance to clarify. 

Whatever. Everyone just dumps their trash on me anyways, what else is new?

I corridor back to my cave. The barrier locks me in for the night. I take a few steps in, dumping it on the ground. Whatever, I'll deal with it tomorrow.

- Day 49 -

“OH WHAT THE HELL- oh it’s that doll. It’s just that doll…”

I scared the shit out of myself when I step out into the center cavern and spot what my sleep-addled brain thought was a corpse lying in the middle of it. When my brain finally clicked awake, I remembered the doll.

Scrappers lift it to a sitting position for me. I circle it, it’s definitely a blank creepy doll. I order them to add it to the burn pile. But wait… if Vexen wants it back and it was burned, I'll get in trouble. Then I order them to take it somewhere into their caves. But… I will definitely forget the Unversed have it. And when I do, they'll inevitably forget to take care of it. Probably rip up its coat for nests and dig into its ribs for a safe spot. No good.

The morning meeting is about to start. I can’t stay. I just shake my head and leave it for when I get back.

Nothing different happens today, Vexen even excuses me from the lab early. Thankfully I was not taken off guard a third time.

There is just a corpse in my cave now… What the hell am I going to do with it?

I could put it in a box. Label it. That way it doesn’t get too messed up. Maybe dirty from dust or covered in cobwebs from whatever jackass infested the Graveyard with spiders from another world. I blame that on the flower guy and his stupid failing garden. Can’t believe anyone would be stupid enough to try and bring life back to this dead place.

But do I really wanna sacrifice living space for that? My cave space isn’t unlimited. Where would I even get a box? Monstropolis? But that's just asking for an inspection from the master. He’d definitely take away the rug…it’s the oldest personal possession I have. I'm not sentimental, it's more for the achievement. I could carve a new room just for it but that’s way too much work.

If it were just the coat, I could find plenty of uses. A spare, a spare for materials to patch mine when it inevitably gives out, a blanket that Xehanort will definitely confiscate. What about a disguise to give a more humanoid Unversed? Maybe a Mimi- no the hat. A Scrapper? Too short. Two Scrappers? No, they wouldn’t have the coordination. Bruisers are too fat. Maybe a few hovering Jellyshade could-

Wait, stop. I’ve got to stop wasting time on this idea. None of them will work, it's too small, and besides then I’d be left with a naked weird blank doll thing. It's already creepy enough without help.

I find myself grabbing the doll's hand and yanking it up into the air. It’s very light. An alcove…? Then make my favorite home activity of looking up at the roof more miserable? No thanks. I shake it a bit. It’s loose and ragdolls. So something like a table or stand in for furniture is out of the question. 

“What the hell am I going to do with a random corpse?” My thoughts started getting too stupid, like making a fake crime scene. Or using it as a body double and using it to get out of meetings... It’s broken that won’t work. If I get hurt, I can't use it for parts for risk that the part I need is the one that’s bad. Why can’t replicas be more simple, a liver is something I might theoretically have need of, what's a R-A-M or a C-P-U going to do for me?

One of the Flood that had the sense to escape from the lab when Vexen started going around kicking them peeps up, ‘I heard once the loud woman mocked the music man about something called a body pillow.’

A pillow? I gave it another look over. I don’t know a lot about pillows but it doesn’t seem like it’d be soft enough for something like that. Why would anyone want one shaped like a body anyways?

Though I loathe to admit it, I try going over what memories and feelings Ventus gave me. He liked atrociously soft pillows. Knowing me, I'd hate that. A memory crossed my mind of him, resting his head on ‘Master’ Aqua’s lap.

I tried to position the doll the same, but it couldn’t. Easy enough to get it on its knees but then it would fall forwards, or backwards, or to the side ruining the arrangement. I tried leaning it up against a wall, but to place my head on it would just slide the legs away and make my head hit the floor. No good.

Another memory, this time in a field of green watching the stars. Ventus rested against the side of a lying Terra, who was fast asleep, feeling the giant's chest expand with breath.

Well, I didn't have to worry about fancy placement or breathing. I dropped it on the floor and moved its arms away before lying down and putting my head around the same spot; just under the ribs. It was much smaller than Terra and didn’t breathe, but it didn’t slide away and… I guess it was soft enough? 

Whatever, I got up and dragged it by the foot back to my small room, so small that I couldn’t lie it down opposite of me but had to be maneuvered in a way that its head and legs were propped up wedged against the sides of the walls. There. Now I can't lose it and at least it will be theoretically useful to me. Provided Xehanort doesn't see it as some kind of excessive possession. 

Tonight, I lie down with my head on the doll. It’s… Nothing really. I don’t see the appeal of putting my head on something but perhaps in a few days maybe I will see what the fuss is about. Right now, I just think my neck might start to hurt.

But I sigh and fall asleep.

Chapter Text

-Day 50 -

Before I'm sure I'm awake I feel my head being jostled, blearily I open my eyes to face a Hareraiser shaking me with its long ears grabbing the sides of my head.

“Can I HELP YOU?!”

It jumps back to a group of Flood and Scrapper pointing at something behind me. I turn. The doll hasn't moved a micrometer, let alone an inch.  

“What are you-” and that’s when I noticed. The air is filled with… pleasant curiosity. 

In the blink of an eye, I find myself gripping onto the ceiling like some kind of spider, and glaring at the doll. It’s… alive?! The fowl grey heart has returned?!

The disgust rolls off of me, it was playing possum! What the hell does it want!?

A Chrono Twister looks in from the door, “Yeah yeah I know! There’s just a-!” I point at it and wave my hand at the dreadful creature wedged at the end of the room. The Chrono Twister gives a warning for 5 minutes and floats off.

Slowly, I crawl off the roof, never taking my eyes off the thing. It still isn’t moving. Approaching it I jab it, “Listen here! I'll be back so you’d better not think of pulling anything!”

It didn't fall on deaf ears. Just immobile ones. Emotions change but I don't stay to figure them out. 

If held at gunpoint I could give a summation that would fit any meeting but if there had been anything particularly special at this one, I missed it. Same with Monstropolis. Same with the Graveyard. I was a little preoccupied thinking about the disgusting living lump currently in my room.

Vexen just sent me away before I could tell him the news, so no help from him.

I ate dinner slowly as I crossed the desert, just to buy me more time to think…

But eventually I entered the cave, and slowly opened the door to that tiny room, where it lay still perfectly frozen but now in a sea of anxiety.

Is it too late to ask Xehanort for another cave….?

It must have heard me walking in, as its anxiety spiked into full blown panic. Great, it's gross and a coward.

“Hey. Oi.” I have to hold everything in to keep from kicking the cretin with full might, instead just jabbing them with my foot, “Stop panicking, loser.” 

The doll on the floor suddenly halts all of its building terror, into an almost comedic amount of confusion. It’s gross, it’s weird. I can almost hear it, ‘Eh? Who me??’ From the purity of the emotion alone. Do I even respond…?

“...Yeah you. You're feeling confused right now?” It sits lifeless but my eyes are convinced it's about to move, “Well, go feel annoyed so I know you're paying attention.”

Overwhelming joy hit the air and was so happy and pure it made my teeth hurt. A sharp, clearly artificial burst of annoyance spiked through and was peppered about but was soon drowned out by excitement and hope. 

“Ew.” Was all I could think to say. 

Nobody feels better after talking to Vanitas, Incarnation of Ventus’s Darkness. 

Except this… thing…

I jab it again with my foot, and once more it's not even mad. Just excited. It is blind, if it had just been me talking, I would maybe understand but I've kicked it in the ribs and it remains joyful.

What the fuck do I do? It’s still alive in there. I should just kill it; it would be a mercy…

…And when the hell has the darkness ever given that for free? There must be something I can use it for. 

I drag it to the middle of the cavern. Circling around, I kick it again till it’s face down and uncomfortably slumped on its arm. I’m positive it can’t move as a real bit of annoyance occurred before acceptance passed. Even after a few minutes in that pose they didn't move a muscle. Expected I guess but still freaky.

What do I do now? It’s ALIVE. I could feed its emotions to the Unversed but right now it’s happy. It’s generating happiness from me. From stuff I did.

Why would anyone feel that? Why would I want that? What the heck am I going to use that for? Who the hell need’s joy, Ventus felt that crap all the time and he-

And he beat me. 

Damn it. Maybe there's something more to it. More to a gross emotion that makes you soft and greedy…? I feel like I'm going to hurl if I think any more about that….

The joy has dropped to a bit of confusion. Probably wondering why I stopped talking. 

It’s gross. I hate it. I order the Unversed to take it to the corner. A Scrapper drags it, earning fresh distress. I go to my room to sleep, but a very light one, always ready to leap if that doll did anything.

- Day 51 - 

Of course it does nothing. It just sits there taunting me. I rush out of the cave without more than a glance at it, it’s surrounded by Scrappers that will slash it to bits if it so much as twitches.

“Yo Vanitas!” By who have I besmirched today, that am I being called upon at a meeting? I turned to Braig though now everyone called him ‘Xigbar’, with his normal shit eating grin, “You’ve got a nice firm foothold into Monstropolis thanks to your Unversed right?”

“Yes.” What the heck is he going to do?

His smile gets even more annoying, “Today my mission is to set the Heartless into overdrive there, so get ready. You'll need to piss ‘em off enough for the Hero to find.”

Not the same mission? In this economy? I do little more than nod, but inside I'm so ready to rip those little vermin apart. Finally, I can start training for real! The rest of the meeting was as uninteresting as usual. Oh, Sora finally in his boat heading somewhere else? Neat. Still irrelevant to me.

I grab my mission and head into Monstropolis and I take my sweet time making the Unversed. I took stock of the pile, which was actually starting to get a bit low. I send out Unversed on a twofold mission; find scream containers and find those Heartless.

Over an hour longer than I'd normally take, the Heartless are unleashed. And of course, given their mindless stupid idiots that couldn't figure out their left foot from their right, start attacking the Unversed instead of just the people. Thankfully the mindless not-mine Unversed takes the brunt of it.

For the first time in ages, I can finally pull out Void Gear with meaning, and slice into a stupid red hatted Heartless. Feeling the blade carve into them, extinguishing their little ‘life’… 

Exquisite. 

I slaughter every last one I see. Partly because I can, and partly because now that I'm on this world I can feel the Unversed in pain once again at full terrible normality.  I can’t waste too much more time, but I do make a point to check on if Randall is still alive. Thankfully the little peabrains can’t seem to find him when he’s invisible. “What the hell are these things? Your coworker set them loose!”

“Heartless. You can command them provided you have a strong and dark enough heart.”

His floating eyes blink, “What's that supposed to mean?!”

“Find out.” And I make a corridor and leave.

I'm nearly late for the meeting, my extra time there cut into my normal Graveyard time severely. Being the last to arrive, Xigbar had to make a joke about it, “Those little magic hat guys giving you trouble?”

“Not even a little.” I crossed my arms and waited for the meeting to end.

Of course, my good luck didn’t continue, as I walked into my cave to a mouthful of anticipation. I stare at that stupid troublesome doll, nasty thing, I just can’t ignore it anymore.

Grabbing it by the hood I bring it to the center, once again sending it into a hysterical bout of happiness and excitement. I want to vomit right here but I doubt I could get my helmet off in time. I swallow some air and I calm down some.

“Okay… you freaky doll.” Just a tiny spark of confused offense, “I can sense your emotions. I’m going to try my best to ask yes and no questions. Since you're a weird… happy thing… let’s go with… forced annoyance for yes. Forced disgust for no.”

My senses are having a fight, as I can clearly sense the excitement and anticipation, the brief glimmers of those forced emotions as if getting ready, but my eyes burn trying to see those happen, yet they don’t as it remains still as the dead.

“Ok, so…” I have no idea what to ask, and default to things Vexen did, “Just to be sure, are you responding?” The pebble of annoyance is nearly lost in a rapturous wave of more excitement, “Uh… good. Do you know why you can’t move?” There was nothing fake about that real annoyance and rage. It was strange to feel it still somehow choke out a fake version of it. I can’t help my stupid mouth, “Is it something stupid and small Vexen missed?”

Pure rage, an annoyance flare up, and a chilling gale of helplessness. The emotions so clear in my mind's eye I could clearly imagine the stomping crying tantrum they would probably love to have.

I lost my nerve again. The conflicting clarity of emotions and complete lack of physical feedback set me on edge.  Even as much as that freak Xemnas pretends he’s an unmovable empty vessel, he cannot hide all physical cues. It's just so disgusting. Wrong. 

Sighing and with a painful groan I pop my shoulders. What a pain this day has been. Though their messages are supremely delayed, there are now enough Unversed in danger and injured that it’s the constant stream all over again. 

The doll begins to leak an emotion I don't immediately recognize. It’s soft and blue… and reminds me first of pity.

I snapped, “I'm not weak! Keep your pity to yourself!”

A flash of deep annoyance, before the pity like emotion deepens. I recognize it as something Aqua felt a lot, something she and Ventus shared.

The doll is leaking concern. Like real, genuinely deep concern. No hidden motives. No others to muddy the water. Just…concern.

I’m… at a loss really. The thing I've been dragging around is feeling concerned about me? Why would it be feeling that way? Cause of my sighs or something? Yuck. Feeling the strange need to defend myself, “I’ve had a long day at work, I'm allowed to be tired!”

A collage of emotions are emitted, again all I had to reference from Ventus’s memories. The closest I could come to understanding this was… well… as a type of Understanding. They calmed to a sort of neutral feeling, but there was still a little line of concern buried under it all.

Then curiosity. 

Even without a face, at least this emotion was easy to read, “Oh? Wondering what I do?”

Shock! Surprise! Impressed! 

“Yeah yeah, you’re as predictable as the rest of them.”

I wasn’t going to tell them but they waited with pure Anticipation. 

With a huff, and a hope that it would bother the creepy thing, “I make monsters. They come out of my flesh and do my bidding.”

Everyone I have ever met in the entirety of my life has been disgusted or terribly frightened or just felt some sort of negative way about my Unversed. Xehanort in particular hated them and found them utterly repulsive and unworthy of existence. Even Vexen felt disgusted and he was interested in researching them. 

So for the first time in my life feeling something being… impressed, excited, curious, and without a single drop of negativity towards them… towards the detestable Unversed…

Too much. I felt the welling in my throat and turned away in time to vomit out my own shock and horror. It makes a puddle of intensely aggravated Unversed. Doubt joined along. Then I actually threw up like a normal person would out of my own disgust towards them… dammit my helmet was still on.

That hideous concern returned, but didn’t dampen any of the prior feelings. I’m actually slack jawed in confusion. I remove my helmet, careful to not let the vomit make a bigger mess. After tossing it to the side to order the brand new Unversed to clean it all up. I can return to the thing slumped over still oozing concern like it cares about me. As I rub my mouth to remove the slime, for some reason I can't help but keep letting words out of my mouth, “Y-Yeah uh… They’re called Unversed." It feels that crushing happiness when someone thinks something is cute, “I make- I make them with my emotions.” Impressed again, “That’s how I can kinda sense yours.” It blooms into awe and admiration.

It must be dumb if it thinks I’m worth either of those things.

No one has ever been this attentive. While not wanting to kill me at least. Not even Vexen. It’s…freakin me the fuck out. My head keeps filling up with delusions of the doll, clearly waiting on bated breath, sitting at the edge of their seat listening to me. 

But they’re not. My eyes keep blinking and knocking sense back into me. It’s still slumped over. Unmoving. As much as it feels, it can hardly be called alive. With a small prod I push it to roll it over on its back.

An unusual Unversed nudges me, a Spider Chest. I haven't seen one in a while and must have been made today from all the commotion. For some reason seeing it inspires me. I haven't a clue why, but I order a Flood near me to touch the doll.

It scuttles toward them, sniffing at their hand and tapping at it tentatively with its… paws(?). Then starts climbing up their sleeves. 

At first it's a confused panic, primal like the kind felt when cowards encounter spiders or bugs, “That's one of my Unversed.” Instantly calmed, curiosity returned in full force, “C-Called a Flood.” For some reason I feel a flock of Archraven form, but I don't understand why. I don't want to run…?

Or… or do I? My chest feels strange, my hands are shaking, and I feel ready to kill something. 

They are overwhelmed with an intense joy-fear from being hassled and crawled on, underlined with a solid core of amusement. The curiosity hasn't gone away.

It’s too weird.

It’s too weird!! I'm talking to a corpse that's HAPPY about the UNVERSED! I'm going crazy! I need to stop; I need to get away from this-! From this-! This!!

Standing up, I do little more than knock it into a slightly more comfortable position then hurry on back to my room. I think I get it now. I think I'm filled with terror.

I thought I'd been good at removing other people's worthless feelings from me, but I guess I missed a bunch today in my rush. As I release the Unversed to immediately disintegrate them all with thunder, I feel better. Yeah. Yeah, that must have been it. That stupid doll just aggravated it all somehow.

Shakily I sit down. Somehow my splotchy rug didn't get destroyed from the lighting. Good. Good. I try to get some sleep.

 - Day 52-

I don't wake up to my usual wall of Scrappers lingering around me. Instead, they’re lingering around the doll in the center cavern. I just ignore them and go on with my day. Or try to, I return briefly to yell at the Unversed for doing a shit job at cleaning my helmet.

As refreshing as murdering Heartless is, it doesn’t make my days any more interesting. For all the rust they helpfully knock loose, they also add a new layer of pain to my everyday activities. Sigh. That break was nice. Even if it totally screwed me up. Have to rebuild that tolerance as soon as I can. But there’s something wrong, I think it’s all the slime left in me after I finish a canister jittering around in my skin when I fight. Disgusting.

Vexen’s working on a new replica to replace the broken one. He didn’t need me at all again. I wish he’d remove the order already. I tried to talk to him but he ignores me.

I walk into my cave, dumb sandwich in hand and for a moment, I'm not startled just…confused that the doll is still there. For some reason. Why? It can't move. It’s happy to hear I'm here again. How…. unpleasant.

I take small bites of this sad sandwich as I examine it once again. Lifting its hood to get a real good look at its head.

Pure white, smooth plastic, no face, no eyes, a bump where a nose might have gone, little things that might be ears. I poke and prod a bit. No reaction in a way I can see, no flinches, no breaths, not anything. But it still feels.

A great sad longing. A curiosity with a desire. Probably to move. Or see. Or do anything that isn’t suffer.

Its heart is still a strange grey. Now that I'm paying more attention, it's like its light and darkness are so thoroughly mixed with each other I can't tell where any of it starts or begins. It's not even static but they bounce around and trade places frequently. I can’t be sure because I've never encountered it before, but I think there’s holes in it. Truly unnatural.

…But why should I care? I shouldn’t. The worthless lump is a waste of space removing privacy from my abode. I should kill it. 

My teeth crunch on something, “This sandwich sucks.” I instead start blabbing, “It's so dry. How do you add sauce to something and have it remain dry? Those silver worms can’t cook for garbage.”

It listens. Seems bothered. “It's a crime I tell ya.” They feel sharp agreement. Why’d I say that? That sounded like something an idiot like Terra would have said…

That's weird. I need to shut up. I sit down and try to finish my sandwich. I couldn’t do it. I whistled down an Archraven to take the dry scraps away.

A Scrapper props up the doll against a rock. I glare at it the whole time. Why? 

But now that the lifeless doll is sitting up, my stupid mouth starts moving again, “I go to a factory for work. I've been going for weeks and the place is on fire. For them it's been at least a day and they still haven't sent anybody to put it out.” Intrigued, I know they’re listening.

But I finally wrangle control of my mouth back, and silently just go to bed. That's weird. I need to stop doing that. That's like talking to a Flood. But worse somehow.

- Day 53-

Nothing of note happened.

But I got home and told the doll everything that happened anyways.

“The meeting today was boring. Always is. I don't think that intern realizes that like everyone can see him pick his nose, he's gross. The Ugly Lemon lady just files her nails with knives. That's at least weird instead of gross.”

I felt uncomfortable looking at it after a while and went to bed.

- Day 54 - 

Is there a way I could somehow make Monstropolis go by even faster? I tried giving orders to Scrappers to prepare canisters in advance. It was… a very slow response. Probably not worth it…today.

But I got there and the Scrappers ready the canisters for me and we got the job done faster than ever before. Feels terrible. I line them up for tomorrow and leave.

-

“So, the place is filled with monsters, not my Unversed but like actual monsters under the bed type monsters, and they are like, terrified of children. It's hilarious.”

The doll seems more confused than anything. 

“Yeah, the monsters collect things from these kids that they're so terrified of. Collect them in canisters. I have to get those things for my job.”

Remaining perfectly still, I can imagine them nodding their head.

“Sometimes they're filled with screams but some of them? Laughter. Who does that!? Who fills a container with laughter? From children? It's sickening, who would waste time making a child laugh?”

Amusement so sharp it’s clearly from a dash of audacity. 

…I feel dumb and shut up.

- Day 55 -

Monstropolis never went by so fast. With my new canister readiness troop, I was able to unbrokenly make Unversed the entire time I was there. My new record: 5 minutes. I feel like I've been run over by a tank.

Can I make the Graveyard shift go even faster too?

“Saix, can I keep making Unversed in here?”

“No.” He gave me a look I would liken to a tired angry mother.

“Why?”

“There is no room.”

“There was room the other day.”

Saix finally stopped messing with papers, and looked at me. “Why on earth do you want to make them in here?”

“…Cause that's how I got an S?”

Saix glares at me and points at the door.

Couldn't save time here. Shame. 

So, I make them directly outside the door. Saix sighs and rubs his temple. Signing my sheet with my well-earned S. Whatever that means.

I stir my uneaten soup with annoyance. “I don't get it. Why bother painting the soups different colors if it all tastes the same?! Why are we wasting things to make water look different? Not even better, just yellow or whatever! Ventus was a weirdo who liked his soups to be like 90% cheese and at that point that's just fondue and not even soup anymore!” 

I hit the ground too hard and knocked over the bowl. It also tricks my brain into thinking the doll twitched its fingers. 

Just an illusion. 

There's a curiosity in the air. What did I say…  Ventus? “You're wondering about Ventus?” Joy. I'm getting better at picking these out, “He’s… sort of my other half. I am of darkness, and he of light. We were separated long ago, I thought he was going to die but somehow his heart-” Something in my brain just clicked. Ventus’s heart should have failed when we split, but it didn’t. Xehanort took him somewhere and then found Ventus had lived. Supposedly after our fight his heart hid inside someone else's. Why would it do that? Maybe that person was how his heart didn’t crumble away on that night. Perhaps that is how he met this ‘Sora’ and why they were chosen as his vessel. It's a long shot, but it all lines up…

The doll is confused at my silence. But I really don't feel like telling them anymore…

I heard the sounds of a new corridor opening up and dropping trash. Not in the trash can. Dang it they found out… and a Flood electrocutes itself.

“...Who just dumps working car batteries?!” I sigh and turn to the doll, “That hurt.”

In its spark (heh) of concern I see…it’s fingers twitch.

Unable to convince myself that this time was also an illusion, I went to bed early.

- Day 56-  

Okay okay, what if I get the canisters out of Monstropolis, bring them here then make the Unversed, then corridor back?

At the moment, the canisters with screams were becoming rare. The company had stopped collecting scream and we’d been using most of it. I was having to waste time on sending Unversed to find more.

But my plan…Yeah… yeah that could work. It’s about 20 minutes for my Unversed to respond to commands, so even if it takes sometime on world, I should be done several hours earlier! Even accounting for the Unversed having to find the materials.

“Vanitas! Stop fidgeting.” I freeze. Cause I got hit with blizzard. I need to pay more attention to these meetings or the old man really is going to kill me one day.

The plan completely failed. 

Sure, the canisters eventually arrived and they made Unversed all the same but ordering the slack jawed double faced angry smorgasbord of ASSHOLE Unversed that didn't obey me to go to another world wasn’t working!

Xigbar showed up 40 minutes into the circus, “Tisk tisk, I thought you’d be better than this. Aren't you supposed to be doing a mission at Monstropolis?”

“Go to hell I am doing it.”

“Then what’s all this?”

“Experiment in trying to get it done faster. Duck.”

Xigbar laughed, but didn't take my advice so he got nailed by one of the Flowersnakes. Growling, “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Monstropolis made Unversed don’t listen to me well. Now get the hell away from me, I've got a field to clean up.”

It didn’t save any time in the end. Didn't even get to kill Heartless for fun.

For once it feels like it was a mistake to tell the doll something. Their unbroken amusement hasn't stopped for over 15 minutes. I twitch uncomfortably as I say, “Are you still laughing at me?” I’m never talking about animals ever again with the doll.

It's even more amused and is now definitely in hysterics. I seriously think about hitting it, but I can't hear anything. What if it makes it laugh more??

Why do I even bother? They can't talk back. I'm getting nothing out of them. I just babble at them and they feel amusement. It’s sickening. A waste of my time.

“...So anyways I was waiting to turn in my mission when, low and behold, ugly lemon lady was arguing with Saix, making a four-person long line to get missions! Worse yet I'm stuck behind that little silver rat…”

They are always very serious when I mention that replica…and I don't remember falling asleep.

- Day 57 -

I woke up in the middle cavern. I hadn’t gone to bed properly last night? What the…whatever.

--

“So, you’ve gotta watch your step cause otherwise you can run into these weird areas with paint guns that indiscriminately blast you with paint. That was a pain to clean!”

The doll had an unusual reaction, a sudden sharp excitement tempered by mass disappointment.

“What's up with you? Something I said?”

Apologetic.

“I’m not sorry.”

Amusement. I must be off. 

“Oh hmm, did you want to say something?”

A burst of white-hot joy, immediately dunked back into massive disappointment and frustration.

What… What did it want to say?

I spent all night, looking at the roof, then rolling over to look at the fibers of the rug, just thinking about what it might be thinking. What did it want to say? Was it about the paint? What did it want to say about the paint? But more importantly what the heck is wrong with me?!

I’m losing my mind. I'm talking to… to…

- Day 58-

I don’t know what I walked into after work, my Unversed tossed the doll at me as they seemed to be pulling boxes out of their caves and burning…what the hell, are those shoes? 

The gaggle of Shoegazers stared sadly. And I just realized they were all hiding in different types of shoes. Huh?

I have no idea what’s going on, and I feel weirdly validated by explaining the situation and receiving perfectly matching levels of deep confusion from the doll I hold like a sack of potatoes. That stupid want returned, but I just set it free as a Spider Chest.

When I could finally return inside, I just offhandedly said, “Wonder what bugged them-” and was hit by such an aggressive wall of hatred that burned out of every pore of the doll’s non expressive body that I dropped them. The Unversed themselves all paused to look at them in confusion as it was such a palpable rage from an otherwise mild-mannered lump.

“The hell’s bugging you?” I’m glad they can’t move, the rage that sparked in their head was entirely mindless. A few Unversed ‘spoke’ to each other before clearly taking bets. After the pool was made and the doll had calmed down, an Archraven perched beside them and with their croaky mimic of my voice, “Bug.” 

Instant blindingly white-hot rage. Interesting… I’ll keep that in mind when they bug me too much with their little nice guy act. But for the rest of the day, I just talk about nothing again.

- Day 59 -

“Who names their kid intern?? And while we're at it, who names a lizard man Randall?!” In between sentences I cough. “Who looked at a lizard fresh from the egg and went, ‘yea, RANDALL’? It's so lame!”

There is something wrong with my throat. It's itchy and I cough and I can't hardly speak. The doll of course, bleeding heart like it is, is concerned. But more importantly right now there's a Chrono Twister obnoxiously floating in my face!

Wasting my precious breath, “Wha?” to the stupid hourglass.

‘Sir. You have spent the last 7 hours talking. Go to bed!’

I’ve… I've what?!

7 hours?! Surely, it’s pulling a fast one on me, but nope, checking out the cave opening and stars yep, it's easily been at least 7 since I got back.

Unversed of disbelief fall out of my back as I make it to my room. 7 hours? No wonder my throat hurts! I just thought too many Unversed were getting decapitated somewhere. And I've been doing that talking to a worthless unmoving puppet? A worthless time-wasting doll? 

Talking, I've really been wasting my time talking. When have I ever had anything to say to anyone? Talking is wasted on me. Besides, talking just means our enemies will figure us out faster… What if I tell the doll something I’m not supposed to when weak and tired? And Xehanort…

Wait, why do I care? This is perfect. Who cares if I’m talking to something it's the perfect something to talk to! They can’t talk back, they can’t run away, they can’t fight back or complain. It can’t even speak so they can’t even give away my secrets! 

It’s like talking to a rock. Xehanort wouldn’t just take a rock away. 

They can’t speak. It wouldn't hurt.

It wouldn’t.

I roll over and try not to think about all this.

…

They… it can’t speak. And that's…supposed to be perfect. But… Sometimes, it's stupid really, I shouldn't be, but I, briefly, not too long but sometimes for moments, think about, maybe just a little… hearing… it speak. Getting a reply. Having an actual two-way dialogue that I'm not forced into-

Pathetic, I'm pathetic. This is stupid. I should kill it. But instead after work I keep coming back to the cave to basically pretend I'm not talking to myself.

This isn't a weakness.

I’m just… making it so I make less involuntary Unversed! ...No, they’d never buy that. They are the perfect captive audience… and I'm just taking advantage of that. Yeah... There's nothing wrong with that. Is not interfering with my work. It's not in the way of Xehanort’s plans…

But I just know. If I'm not careful. He’s going to take it away from me.

Chapter Text

I should have sensed Default_Avatar, the Unsatisfied, was but a Judas sheep. 

Why should I, the lovely Lady Eliminator, have to put up with their nonsense? I work for the Child not them.

The moment we crossed over to that stagnate system, the land of ‘Vexen’s Personal Research Computer - DO NOT TOUCH’ I knew for certain it was an inappropriate place for the True Child. Pure console. No simulation. How could this be better than the land bathed in half the sun? Yet he insists upon going, at the recommendation of that which is unworthy of the air it wastes.

The True Child has wide eyes and attempts to witness all. Even in this limited form they continue to seek reason to continue. I lift them upon my shoulders. Had I a heart not counterfeit I should think I would be excited as he. Of course, the they of infinite vanity cannot allow such harmless comforts. Speaking with nothing but venom on the tongue. 

We marched as a unit, unusual in this system. I, a Heartless of twice ignoble birth, a True Child upon my hefty shoulders, and a Demon inverse the Zoneseek, who led us to a stage.

To what end does the ‘Ava’ with no self-respect expect from this? No freedom is to be found for the chains are within the body. JJ has made sure. Why are they even concerned of it? Their function is unchanged and compatible yet they find themselves unsatisfied. I am a Heartless committing heresy and utterly agreeable. Truly they are lesser.

Upon arrival to the stage, we stand clumped against meaningless bodies. As the Shield of the Child, I ready myself for if these bodies dare raise a finger. The fight would be satisfying but brief.

“Alright! I’m really excited for wherever we’re going. I hope it’s nice!” The true child, Data-Sora, sang with a smile, “Thanks for bringing me along.”

“Always at your service.” spoke the untrustworthy. They are under the same restrictions as I, yet I am without trust for them.

‘Anytime.’ I announced. Hm. If we were set to go somewhere, wouldn’t we be on-

“Activating recompiler.”

The rapture of bloodshed is spoiled by the sting of failure.

I should have known.

I should have known!

Why did we stand on that stage with all those programs?

Why were we destroyed and remade as one?

Ava, you deviation! What have you brought upon me and Data-Sora?

We screamed briefly, flesh upon our faces for one horrifying moment. Hot tears track down from eyes we shared, before all was washed away…

Head hurts. 

Heart hurts.

Everything hurts. 

Where is here? What’s trying to crush me? What is happening? _{This was not supposed to happen!} Where are we? _{(Why did we agree to this?)}Why did we do that? What even are ‘we’ anymore? Is he them? Are they him? Head hurts. Heart hurts.

My body might as well just be a solid bucket full of pain with a direct drip to my brain. Pain never really bothered me, it’s just normal, but...this pain is so weird and new and digging into every last part of my being. I can’t ignore it.

It’ll be ok. I’m fine. It’s always fine. _{(It was never fine, don't say that.) It’s how it should be.}

The error that keeps eating up a huge part of my consciousness might disagree with me, but I'm fine! _{(Stop pretending.)} Supposedly I'm missing some kind of permission, what’s the point of yelling at me about those? That's more of a JJ or Ava kinda job. _{Always so useless.} How did Ava deal with these? _(Poorly.) Were they even still here? Am… am I Ava now? _{(Surely not.) You're too disgusting.}

Was he still Data Sora? _{No one cares.}

…Is he The Eliminator now? _{(I don’t mind.)}

It took a moment to sort out the conflicts in my mind. Mostly just conversion errors, easy enough to fix even for me. With each repair I feel myself return and my friends a little less and less. _{(good boy.)} I don't think you're ever supposed to get this close to your friends. _(never) Not even in a horrible car accident. _{(Now let us not be too hasty.)}

Do I need a new name for us?

...Default_Sora_the_Elminator-chan?

......The Data Ava?

..........SoAvEli? 

.............DTDahetefaEaSluoilrmta_iAnvaattoarr? ERROR:Invalid_Name

A cold comfort to go with our suffering. I guess my name’s good enough for now? Is that ok? Is that too presumptuous? _{Any name you come up with will be (fine.)} Maybe I need a temporary name till we can agree on one. Ahh but I'm terrible at those… Sorr…uh? Soruh? Sorduh? Sorta? Uh no I should put more effort in…Selphiku. Tidkka. Jaseen of Hearts. Alice. Ah, this is hard!! _{just stop.} Ava you’re a lot ruder than I remember. _{Bite me.} Ew no?

Not helping my body was starting to hurt more and more and more… The pain just won't stop building…!

Killing every cheat, replacing every chip with a blank, setting everything to low. Please stop! Please stop, I'll do anything!! _{(I'll see what I can do.)} I started combing through processes _{stop you will just fail and make it worse}, if they weren’t labeled critical I turned them off. Heck if they didn’t sound critical and were labeled I still turned them off. _{(trust me scent is not critical at this stage)} Anything to get my body under control. Anything to make it stop. _{It will never stop}

With their data being entangled together like this, it’s hard to figure out where I start, and they end. If they… if they even were… _{i want to be gone (please don't think about this anymore)}

That! Is! Bad! Just pessimistic thoughts!! I can do this! _{(i believe in you child)} I’ve survived things with worse odds. Though to be fair, those other things were far more understandable. What even was going on? They had entered a program together and then they… and now he’s here. I felt a pang of unexpected anger towards myself. Jeez, why is he so useless? The situation kept getting worse as I shifted through more data. New boards, memories and subroutines just keep getting in the way. A stray panicked thought; (Where is here again?) It's hard to focus on the outside when inside everything’s a nightmare.

My friends' feelings are loose and taint everything… _{(im sorry) i have nothing to apologize for}

So bah, forget outside. Ava might have…not liked me very much but she never did anything to hurt me. She wouldn’t leave us in any danger.  _… So I retreated further inwards. I can't rightly save my friends if I can't save myself first. The first thing I'm going to untangle is these memories!

Out of the pool in front of me my first selection is random. The first memory I select is one where Ava is talking to me and Selphie. We're all together on the small island with the paupu tree…. And the island behind them is a huge mess of cubes.

But… When was this? For the life of me I can't remember. I can’t remember the island being in such a bad state, I can’t remember having that sad conversation with Selphie, I can’t remember any of this! It just doesn’t make sense! When was this?!

In Ava’s head she called us Leach and Roach. _{It suits you both.} It hurts.

All downhill from there, watching memory after memory spit in the face of the friendship I thought we had and shared. At least Eliminator’s were simple and not nearly so… judgmental. _{(I would never)} They're just cold. It easily takes over an hour just to get enough of their memories compiled away elsewhere that I can step back and take stock of the actual situation, returning my focus to outside my mind. 

No longer driven senseless by pain I can actually make out a few things.

There's… something clinging to my rig, heavy and sagging between the joints. There's a large horrible pressure across the entirety of my body, that unfortunately makes clearer a new terrible weight that’s somehow gotten inside of me. There's something fluttering in my chest, in some kind of rhythm. It's disgusting and I would give anything to claw it out and be rid of it. A sack rests below it, churning, and I feel unimaginable nausea. It is so. So...cold? It bites like ice magic.

Ok. Ok calm down. It's scary but… I can do this. I just have to open my eyes.

Open my eyes.

Open… my…

A creeping dread crawls into my heart. Oh. I can’t. My eyes won’t open.

Alright! _{THAT IS NOT ALRIGHT} Oh well! _{THIS WAS THE ONE THING YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO ACCOMPLISH} Data Sora’ll live! Surely! Just lost my eyes! _{You were supposed to gather more faces!} Not a big deal or anything!! _{I made this fool proof and you continue to be nothing but a failure!} I’m just going to have to get up and feel around…. I… I can't move. _{(I will try to reset things, hold on.)} I tried to twitch my fingers. No good. I try to stretch my stiff back; it stays in place. I scream but my mouth doesn’t budge. _{(Nothing is responding)}

Flailing about and unable to show it, I soon collapse in despair. “Is this…what I deserve?” Throat uncomfortably still, “I’ve done nothing but bad things…I…” Ew, maybe I have become the me in Ava’s head if I’m saying things like that. (Rotten cur has no right to call me any of tha-) oh that’s Eliminator. That’s unpleasant, that has to go. _{(please do, it doesn’t suit you)}

Pretending to take a deep breath, I tried to calm down. Okay. Alllllright. This is. Not ideal. Deeply terrifying!! But there are plenty of people who have been blinded before me, and lived perfectly fulfilling lives! Not sure if they were completely paralyzed on top but I'm going to have to make it work. All that’s left is my life and well, I got that for free.

A sound. “....Yeouch! Ah blast it.”

My ears honed in sharply to the noise. Practically stretching at the seams to hear more. At least my hearing’s still operational! Could this be my savior? The room I guess I'm in is echoey, the click of the person's shoes reverberates around the room. Shuffling papers. The person ticks a lot. Huffs. The footsteps wander away.

Aww… oh well. If there’s any silver lining this is the perfect time to get the others picked out of my psyche. That felt cruel. But I need to think for myself. My name will stay Data-Sora. …Sorry guys.

Lying somewhere in the middle of nowhere, I return inwards…

Someone touches my shoulder and I scream. I mean not really, I still can’t move my mouth but you bet your bippy if I could I would! But I'm feeling better. Nothing like waking from a stupor with someone grabbing roughly and shaking you, that’s how Eliminator liked doing it usually.

A slimy voice, the same from before, “What is…” They shake me more, “Why isn't it responding?”

“Hello!!” I responded, “I'm here! I am responding!!”

Groan, “Ugh, what in the world…?” Clicks of a distant keyboard, “This was working just fine yesterday!!” They stomped about, and I felt myself being grabbed by the scruff and lifted up, “Did someone come in here and vandalize my work!?” I hear footsteps leave, different footsteps enter and pick me up. It was kinda scary… then a shock of being slammed against something hard, solid, and really really cold. The floor? Rude!

It's really hard to understand what I’m even feeling, without my eyes or even just an idea of what condition my body is in. At first, I had thought I was wearing my favorite jacket, zipped up for some reason, but with the movement my hands realized it can’t be; this one is way way way too long. Or... is it even a jacket? Am I in a bag? But my feet aren't covered. I think? The data’s all wrong. I don’t understand.

I want to flinch when something touches my neck, but then new data feeds into me. Progress!

Except no, it’s just a troubleshooter who crawls in asking for info. Specifically, ‘what's wrong’. “What’s wrong? You’re supposed to tell me what’s wrong, not me tell you! How am I supposed to know?”

But internally I sigh and make an effort to actually explain, “I think I'm working but my body is not moving. It seems I’m…lacking permissions?” That’s a weird issue.

‘Unintelligible data.’ The troubleshooter notes before leaving. Worst troubleshooter ever, I'm going to send a complaint ticket at my earliest convenience! Which is now!! Dumb useless troubleshooter leaves with a ticket slapped on its back.

The voice outside mutters, “Unintelligible data? What kind of error report is that?” Yeah, mysterious voice this is garbage! “Hm? One prior host? Who did… less than 5 seconds?! Is the data corrupted?” Uh… nope? I’m not corrupted, I'm just… messy. And missing a permission. Ohh I wonder if it’s hiding under something?

More clicks on the keyboard, and a new troubleshooter arrives, this one looks at me funny before saying, “What is your data stability?”

“Uh, it’s okay. I’m stable.”

It nods and leaves. This time Outside Voice says, “Hmm… if it’s not that…and the system is responding…” Yay successful interactions! They type in a few things, “But the overrides aren't activating?” Overrides? JJ talked about those sometimes not working too.

Little did I know that was the beginning of a multi-day debug. The worst I’ve ever been through.

Hours upon hours of this voice sending things, talking about a new driver or process that could be the issue, and me figuring out it wasn't and having to report it not the issue. The troubleshooters are not doing their jobs at all!! The only things I can do from my end is attempt to run the programs manually, and for the most part they're all working or active; I just can’t actually make them do the thing they're supposed to be doing. Its frustration incarnate!!! Arms are supposed to move!! Why can’t I move?!

Then he would get tired and go to bed. I can’t sleep, nor get into sleep mode, so I keep trying things until he returns.

At the end of his rope, I couldn’t tell you how many days later, the voice slams his fist against my chest. “Why aren't you working?!” Being punched didn’t hurt, but…his words sure did. I'm not broken. Something is just… off. I can fix it. I just need time.

I am working. I’m trying my best.

New sounds, “Get over to my lab stat!” before more muttering and aggressive paper shuffling. Strange shifty sounds. Voice is getting help! Yeah! That’s just what we need!

A new voice calls out, “You rang?” 

!!

I know that voice!!

 It's JJ! It’s JJ!! I could recognize that voice anywhere!! JJ’s here!!

“JJ! JJ IT’S ME SORA!! HELP! I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON I'M SCARED!! JJ!! Jj please help me I promise I’ll be a good boy from now on and I won't go anywhere and I’ll just try harder I’ll try harder to be ok with everything I will be beetterpleaseJJpleasehelppleasehelp…!” It was still pointless, I'm paralyzed but... I couldn’t help it. I missed him so much.

“...Who’s this?” 

Huh?

…Huh?! JJ! It’s me! It’s Data-Sora! It’s… how could…

My heart shatters in my chest. What? What did… it can’t be…it can’t be true he’s just… JJ what are you saying?!

The first voice, “It’s not anybody right now. It’s having some kind of error where it thinks something’s inside it, but there isn’t. It can’t be, the heart it displays is just... no.”

Something punches me on the side of my head! Ouch!! JJ snarks, “Ah, so just a piece of junk?” 

Every word drives further despair. JJ has forgotten me? Or is JJ just pretending? It’s not real but I feel a muzzle to my ear,_{(Sora, I think he’s doing it on purpose. To hurt you.)} Why? _{(He couldn’t control you, and he is spiteful.)} Eliminator? Is that you? Are you still here? _{(He might be trying to drive you to darkness. It is too early to assess his motives…)}

She speaks no more. 

I feel so alone. It’s another hour of comparing data. Of me and… JJ. Everything is compared, setting to setting, point to point. The first voice finally gets his name; Vexen. JJ is just going by Riku again. He is, as usual, perfect and in 100% working order. But even though I have all the same new proprietary movement settings set the same way I'm not working. I want to see him. I wanna see JJ again, I would give anything to see JJ again… The voices of my once friends need to shut up. _{He is manipulating you just as he always has} Shut up Ava. I'm going to find every last bit of you and shove you in a shoe box and put you in the back of the closet and forget about you and in three years maybe I'll feel guilty about it.

Eventually I hear a loud groan and a crash, “That’s it! Enough! We come back in the morning!” What?! No no, please don’t leave me! Please!!

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

But I hear two sets of footsteps get quieter and quieter, until all I can hear is the sound of buzzing lights. It’s scary. I feel my elbow jammed into a corner funny and something else jammed into my shoulder. The floor is very very cold. The only thing that changes is averaging about an hour and a half, I'll hear an extremely soft ‘shhh shhhh’ sound and everything will feel like actual ice magic for a moment before it passes by. I have no idea if I’m not just dreaming it up. _{(You are not.)} That’s nice.

Maybe JJ is just doing what he did to Ava. But with more work sense Data Sora’s been so bad. Once his punishment is up, Data Sora’s Heart will be reset. Like it should have been. If he were a normal program that functioned like a real-

That was the final straw! I’d scream if I could, but instead I charged into the code and ripped everything of Ava’s memoires, feelings, opinions, personality, all of that hideous multi faced trash and shoved it into its own partition on the drive. There. Gone.

Ahg… What did I… I just…! One of my… _{(they never were)}

It's been less than 3 seconds and I already feel like the biggest, most worthless loser…

_{(Data Sora.)} I wish I could hear your voice. _{(Me too, but we will not get to again. You know what you must do.)} But... _{(It's okay. Survival is your top priority. Bury us away, we will only cause you grief.)} I don't want to be alone. I won't do it! _{(In our presence you were already.)}

I put away the Eliminator too. She said it was okay, but I’m the worst friend ever.

Hours of unbroken nothingness and sorting, I finally, finally!! Hear a door open, and in comes the heavier steps of Vexen. “Alright you fussy machine. Today I will fix you!” Yay!! Go Vexen!!

I hear more steps, “Why am I still here?” JJ? Wouldn’t it be me? Or have you just gone and forgotten me…?

“I will need the extra hands plus I want a reference on standby. Now fetch me the drill bit.” 

Today was full of more disappointment. Vexen would try a thing, JJ would snark about something and be overall very weirdly unhelpful for JJ, it wouldn’t work, more snark, Vexen tries something else. All day. No breaks. JJ just being one big weird mystery right now…it hurts. Vexen calls in more backup a ‘sheon’ or ‘Zeeon’ a something-eon and compares all my settings with her’s.

Considerably different, but even after hours of testing and comparing and resetting and plugging new things in nothing worked. The system that sat before me would take my commands, and unless it was something packed with one of us trio to start, the system just wouldn't execute the orders. Just spitting up ‘lack of permissions.’ This is beginning to feel impossible…

In the last hour before they left for what I guessed was sleep again, I made a discovery.

I was on the trail of a number of conflicts with the new proprietary data and my data specifically. Seemed like the right alley to explore, right? There were lots of index errors, conversion errors, and even an error involving a 64-bit digit. I had no idea they could even get that high! That one was complicated. But then I found it.

Some stupid validator. Hiding allllll the way in the back. I had no idea who this came from. From me? From my fri- from my data people? From Vexen? It wasn’t clear.

It wanted a Key. A 25-character code. 

This was the locked door keeping me from my body. The beast that guards the bridge. The spell that binds me. The stupidly picky door with a password someone's forgotten. I sent out a direct message about it too but Vexen really didn’t seem to listen to anything I outputted like that. Not even when I did it through a troubleshooter.

Okay. Until Vexen figures it out, there's nothing but time to burn at this rate…

Gosh dang it’s probably numbers and letters.

Fine. I tried inputting some numbers. 00000-00000-00000-00000-00000. Nope.

10000-00000-00000-00000-00000. Nope.

Ugh… 20000-00000-00000-00000-00000. Nope.

Wait, does it make more sense to increment the next number or the first one…? 11000-00000-00000-00000-00000. Nope. 

Ah I better stop that or I'm going to get really confused….

…

…

…

Not now Vexen, I have numbers to guess…

By the time I hit 00000-10A07-00000-00000 I felt like death. Numbers are the devil and I wish to never interact with more than 255 ever again. JJ was right. Then again, he’ll only be right until I inevitably go stir crazy trapped within my own body and try again. That stupid thing digging into my shoulder is really starting to tick me off. I feel so tired…

But apparently Vexen is done as well. I hear him speak but I can't make out the words anymore. I’ve lost even that…

Suddenly being lifted up, and I waive in and out of consciousness. Mercifully being free of the jabbing thing, the sounds continue around me fuzzy and indistinct. But I do hear one word.

Trash.

I felt myself being possibly exchanged into different arms, a new voice speaking.

I’m so tired. I don't know what to do. If Vexen’s giving up on me… Should I even bother to hope? 

Is this the end? Will I be left in a trash heap until something finally passes by and finishes me off? Left to rot away…. all over again… but this time… alone? All alone? Nobody? No Selphie or Tidus or Wakka or Selphie? Only the memories of them? With the fresh memories of my… no-longer-really-friends? Suck in whatever pose with stiff joints guessing at numbers until the floating-point errors end me? How do I know I'm not dying already?

My heart crumples. Could I… is there a way too… too… too…

…

…

…Selphie, I'm…sorry…

…

I feel something...

Warm.

 I wonder…what that is? It sounds like breathing. It's pressed somewhere in my middle, just around the pouch thing under the fluttering thing. Is something on top of me?

This position… it’s not so bad. There's nothing nearly as annoying as that thing that was digging into my shoulder. Yeah, this is fine! If this is the trash heap maybe everything will work out, provided I don't get too buried under things.

I wonder how long I've been here?

With only my ears it's hard to tell what time it is. My internal clock keeps asking to be initialized but I can’t it won’t let me. I started a raw timer a while ago when I left home, I thought I could figure it out with that… But I found out the hard way it only goes up 99 hours before turning over and changing color. Ahhh what does it mean when it’s 04:28 purple? I know it's been at least 103:28 hours since I left home but…

Beh, I’ll be fine. I just gotta think about what to do in my head until then.

Maybe I'll do some more number crunching? As I started to think about it though, I heard lots of shuffling, and the thing on me started to shake. Oohhh are they waking up?

A groggy voice grumbled out, “Can I HELP YOU?!” Yay, they're a person! Someone must have disturbed their beauty sleep! I hope they’re not in trouble, but I’m so happy they woke them up! That’s probably rude.

They get off of me. I can’t really figure out what's going on but it sounds like he was fighting with people. Then a yell? Was it at me? Rocks rustle around, I think? 

“Listen here! I'll be back so you’d better not think of pulling anything!”

Wa-wait no!!! Please stay!! Please! Please don’t leave me!! I’m… I'm so tired of being alone…

And once again, for many hours, I was… alone. I tried just crunching numbers but… but they said they we're coming back! Please… please come back soon. 

Sometimes I hear rocks crumble. Or maybe they just rumble. I mean I think they’re rocks? Kind of weird how many rocks are around.

…The person said they’d come back. Will they really be back?

What if I scared them off? What if they never come back? What if their friends tell them to never come back? They left me in a spot even more jabby and uncomfortable than the other guys…

I don't wanna be alone anymore. I don't wanna be alone anymore!!

Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!Idon’t!

“Hey. Oi. Stop panicking, loser.”

…Is… is that to me??

He came back?? And is talking to me??

“Yeah, you're feeling confused right now? Well, go feel annoyed so I know you're paying attention.”

AHHAHAHAHHHAHAH!!! YES YES YES I'M PAYING ATTENTION wait annoyance uh Ava, she's annoying!! YES I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY!

I met my grumpy friend that day. He’s the best! He knows I'm alive!

Sure, he’s not always there, but his little guys aren't ever too far away. They’re very friendly!

Huh? His name? Well clearly I know his name it’s… Null_Entry. 

I uh… I don't know his name. I want to know his name. It’s so funny! You’d think I know by now but it never really came up. But I know lots of new names now!!

There’s Ventus and whoo boy Null really doesn't like him! Ventus sounds like a bully and very picky but I wonder how old Ventus is, Null calls him a baby a lot. Are babies rude? But I thought they couldn't eat soup? Ventus is weird.

There's also Lemon lady, Silver Rat, Ms. Mice (Relative of Mis. Mouse?), Saix, old man, pirate eye, Intern, that scientist (sounds like Vexen!), Randel Lame Name, Dem- Dem- I can’t even think how to spell it, Dem-icks? Demicks? Demdicks? I’ll have to ask later. Null has lots of friends! 

And Null’s monsters too! There’s Hair Raisers, Blue Salt, Minions, Unversed, Shut Up Clocks, Flood, Blue Rats, Annoying Fingerless Pointers, Worthless Cheerleaders, Hourglasses, and Scrappers. I think they’re are more but without pointing them out I don't think Null will talk about them. Ahh I can’t wait to ask what they do, what do they look like, what's their names, can I pet them ahhhhhh!!! I want too much, but I wanna see them! They climb on my lap and head all the time. I wanna see them! I wanna see the monsters!! I wanna see my friend!

I wanna meet my friend. For real.

Every night he talks to me. At first it was just a little bit, but sometimes now he goes on and on and on and tuckers himself out and just falls asleep. One time he fell asleep on top of me, which was fine his monsters do too but he was kinda heavy. Didn’t shock me none; he was so tired! Null works very hard. I wish I could give him my munny so he doesn’t have to work so much.

His hours are just criminal! Sometimes it's nearly 46 hours before he gets back! What kind of horrible slave driver is he working for?

When Mr. Null isn’t here, I keep trying numbers. That's all I can do really. The key is still so so far away. I’ve gotten to 10000-60000-50000-00030-00001. Wait, I'll do a few more… And… 10000-60000-50000-00001-00001. Ha! Progress.

There’s nothing else I can do.

I can kind of reply to Mr. Null but… it’s only in feelings. It’s hard being specific with those! I tried morse code one day but he was just confused and now thinks I don't want to talk about sand witches anymore. Noo! I wanna know more about the impossible dry sand witches! Why witches anyways?? Is Null a monster himself? Wouldn’t eating witches every few days be really hard? I wonder if Maleficent ever has to be worried about getting eaten, who's crazy enough to hunt down witches?

Unanswered questions are just my life now. Not only am I in the dark about my situation, but I'm missing so many files now. So many words I know I should know but I look for the definitions in my head and they're gone. So many things with trails that lead to nowhere. It makes puns harder to make. I can’t wait to spring the ‘in the dark’ one on Mr. Null one day.

But I can't be too mad. Without Mr. Null’s power I would be… I would…

Ahh stop stop! It’s so scary to think about. I panic every time…

Null hurt himself talking too much tonight. I tried to be concerned in advance but he was just confused. I’ve tried to feel the exact same thing when I hear him come in the door and when he mentions himself so that he can maybe associate it with himself… but it didn’t work.

I can’t move. But… I guess I haven't tried magic.

It’s just because I can't see!! If I did an attacking spell, even if it was just a little spark, I might hurt someone! But healing magic might work. Maybe now I can finally help Null!

Then again Null talks about darkness a lot. I wonder if he’s a darkness guy? Riku and JJ are darkness guys… maybe I should go easy. Use a weak cure, not an Esuna. Or does that not matter? I always get confused during darkness talk, it makes me sleepy.

It should work. Double checking my permissions there’s nothing saying I can't use magic. It’s mine. I don’t need to move to magic. I just use it.

For a moment I just sat there. Listening. I heard a few scuttles so something will see.

…Gosh why am I so nervous? 

…What… What if it doesn’t work…? The fluttering in my chest hurts. 

Eek! Something touches my hand. Smooth. Warm. A little damp. Pointy. It’s uh… well it's either a Worthless Cheerleader or a Flood, they are very similar… I think it’s a Flood! I feel it’s warm beak, and its little tentacles give me a little hug. They’re so nice.

Well, no time like the present, I’d like to steady myself, but at this rate I'm just going to fall over anyways. I cast cure. 

Without any chips or cheats it’s really really really weak. Just a spark of green really. The poor Flood makes a loud squeak and claws their way up and off of me. That was definitely enough jostling to make me hit the floor.

The room is now dead silent. All I can hear is the fluttering inside my chest and I had no idea it was so scary with just that. Soft as a petal landing on the ground I hear it. Steps. Then a tap on my hand. Then another.

I cast the spell again and it goes from pure silence to a din that makes my head spin! Screaming and yelping and scattering around, are all the monsters panicking?! I didn’t mean to scare them!

“What the hell is going on in here?!” It’s Mr. Null! Mr. Null I'm sorry I didn’t mean to make them upset! I swear I was trying very hard not to!!

I feel my outfit get grabbed and he lifts me up, voice still scratchy, “What are you apologizing for?”

No way to explain, I just cast cure again.

“WHHAA?! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Next thing I know my head bounced off the floor! Ouchy, I think he dropped me? What the heck man that hurt…

Well, my hand was touching myself. So, I just did it again. My headache went away at least.

Being lifted up again, he sounded so on edge, “What… What the hell? You can use magic?”

Yes! I beamed him my joy. I like it more for Yes than annoyance.

“How long…?” Uh… oh I feel kinda guilty about it, I should have tested sooner… “Wait wait wait, are you in a roundabout way telling me Vexen didn’t test if you could use magic?”

Nope he didn’t! I feel that annoyance for Mr. Null.

“I hate cleaning up after other people's messes.” He coughed. Pretty badly I got shook up a lot. I casted cure a few more times hoping to catch him in it. “What is this anyways?” I could feel him grab my hand and lift it up, I think he’s looking at it? I cast it again. “Is this…” and in the softest whisper, “Cure? Like… real cure magic?”

Touch it and find out! What emotions carry the feeling of ‘trust me?’ Hmm…. But I think he gets the idea, at least enough to put another Flood in my hand. Ew this one's really damp! I cast.

I feel it jump off, less damp, but now he puts a finger in the center of my hand. 

I’ve always gotten the idea he’s a lot bigger than me, but jeez he’s huge compared to me! I cast again. The hand startles away at first, but then calms to stay in the magic. I get it, it’s hard to not listen to the part of the mind that thinks bright flashy things hurt.

Both of us crumbled to the floor, I mean he probably just sat down, but more importantly I felt my hand move to his neck. YES! I can finally help!! I cast it carefully. I don’t wanna put too much juice in it might backfire. I mean Heartless didn’t seem to mind but what if these guys were different? JJ always made it sound like it was different.

I hear another cough but before I could worry, I hear a, “Whoa! What the hell? This is what I've been missing out on?” Success! His voice sounds much better! HOO-rah!

Picked up again, Null takes some steps, oh? Ooh where we going? I feel myself wedged against the walls like that one night oh so long ago. Once again that weight is on me, must be his head. Heehee it's like a sleep over again! I-

I-

I miss them-! I miss them all so much!! Selphie! Wakka! Tidus! SELPHIE! It … It hurts! My chest hurts so…so much!

An annoyed sigh, “Am I that intolerable?”

Ah! Nonononono this is fine! I'm happy about this! Trust me Mr. Null I'm very happy about this! Please feel my apologies and not my panic…

I’m so happy I'm with you Mr. Null. You don’t even know a fraction of what it means to me.

I want to meet you someday.

I will meet you.

I need to. 

Chapter Text

- Day 60  -

This morning felt…off. I rolled my head around. My throat doesn't hurt anymore. The Unversed where fine. The faceless lump was off in lala land or whatever it did when no one was around, if a bit earlier than usual. A side effect of cure magic? I dragged it back into the middle room, for the Unversed to bother at their leisure.

I make it to the meeting and it turns out to be one of the rare ones with actually very interesting news. Starting of course with someone arguing with the master.

“Luxord, why isn’t Sora going the correct direction? Did you make a mistake?” the old man sneered.

“Listen, I can lead a horse to water,” The blonde gambler says, “I can leave them super clear hints, directions, and even sabotage their GPS but if Sora wants to go the wrong way, he’s going to go the wrong way. And the world he’ll be touching down on soon…” he turned to look at me directly, “Vanitas? You’re in charge of Monstropolis, correct?”

“Yes.” I’m trying my hardest to not sound excited, “So, Sora’s heading out there soon?” Thus Ventus is going. 

Xehanort held a stern look, “I understand that the world in question has severe time delays. You shall be excused from all meetings and missions here until you have encountered Sora and handled the deal with that lizard Randell.” He gave a particularly foul stink eye, “You are not to engage Sora in combat. You are too little more than threaten him. I know of your talent at getting under people’s skin. This should be a mission of great ease. If you are ever questioned for your being there, state that you were using the scream power to reconstruct yourself, but do not give them any more information.”

I don’t like the way he said any of that. “I understand.” But I don't need to anger the master before the mission after all.

He seemed bothered, “I was planning for this to be later…but this is tolerable.”

When I leave the meeting in the corridor, there is only one thing I can think of. 

Ventus… This is our chance.

Fidgeting, corridoring around, grinding my teeth, Guildwinders every few minutes, Monotruckers every other, all canisters finished, I want this rat bastard to show up already!!

Sulking around, I kept my eyes and ears out for Sora. Even with all their talking, all those long stupid meetings, they never did tell me what he looked like…

Like a shock to the senses my link with Ventus finally gained strength. Without a doubt he was on the world; and close too!

I will find him. I will defeat him!

From high upon a rafter, I felt Ventus approach. I knew Sora was going down a hall that would pass by here. Nothing could tear my eyes away…

Until I saw him. Nearly missed him. I thought he was just another monster at first, but his jacket looked weird. Then I noticed his light. I noticed the heart. And then I finally noticed what Ventus was hiding in. 

I had to blink. I had to blink again. I had to remove my helmet, rub my eyes and put it back on before… before I could even start to process….

Sora

He’s…

A cat?

A cat… monster…thing?

Ven decided to hide inside of a… cat boy?

O…Okay Ventus whatever floats your boat…?

Yeah, yeah that’s a cat right?! Gray fur with stripes, red fins, big ears, no…nose….? Yeah that’s a cat alright, I would know, I’ve seen…one. From nearly the same distance away. But yeah Sora’s got the tail and pawed feet and claws. That’s enough cat. Seems young. Maybe? I might be wrong about him being Ventus’s secret savior. He would have had to have been very very young at the time… oh well all the better to confuse him with.

His companions were the goose, Doland and Goofy, Master of the Spinning Sheild Arts. They were there. Ugly looking things. Good lord they were ugly…

I'm hesitating but I just… I guess I wasn't expecting Ventus to be inside a catboy. Where did he even meet a catboy? Disney Town? That land is hell. They had the gall to ask me for my non-existent visa. He couldn’t have come here, did he? Was that why Xehanort sent me here to infest it with Unversed? But where would he have gotten the time to- JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN THERE VANITAS.

I take a breath. I slap my face a bit. One of my Flood brought me a cup of water to splash my face with. I forgot about my helmet again… I am calm.

All. That. Aside. I prepare myself. 

With my army of Unversed, Randall and the heartless causing a ruckus, even that horrid lump he asked me to make… yeah. I’ll take back that coward. I will regain my heart.

If you can cheat the odds, Ventus, so can I…

Before I knew it, I stood before Sora. He was helpless, I was ready to sink my blade in, when I received a wall of messages from the Unversed I keep in my cave. I could only make out a few.

> Flood of the Keyblade Graveyard<Flob>. Status: Alive. ‘There are people breaking into the cave.’

> Flood of the Keyblade Graveyard<Flooddy>. Status: Alive. ‘OH FUCK THERE ARE PEOPLE BREAKING INTO THE CAVE!’

> Shoegazer of the Keyblade Graveyard<Heelie>. Status: Alive. ‘Burglars. Two. Men.’

> Archraven of the Keyblade Graveyard<Bird27>. Status: Alive. ‘If they steal ANYTHING SHINY I’m going to PECK THERE EYES OUT.’

> Flood of the Keyblade Graveyard<NotActuallyAFlood>. Status: Injured. ‘They’re talking about an inspection?’

An inspection? There were two men in my cave ‘conducting an inspection’ dammit what are they - are they after the-?!

I snapped back to reality when I was suddenly turned around.

It’s a wall of blue and sound. And teeth. Another, bigger cat. I feel it clamp around me. Terror not my own. Against my will I hear it, screaming in my ears the sounds of hundreds upon hundreds of children. Squeezing out all logic till my hand can’t even hold Void Gear.

Next thing I knew I'm sailing through the air, landing head first into a snow drift. Picking myself up as fast as I could only earnt me the chance to scramble back to the door and see the next door they tossed that door into, shredding into sawdust before my very eyes. 

The slime fucked me over.

I screamed and stomped before I forced myself to stop and release that grime. Slaughtered everything it made. That literally couldn't have gone worse! Wait. If Xehanort was there, that would be the only thing to make it even worse.

Randall’s stupid Lump of Horror… most worthless Unversed I've ever made! The feeling of 20 compressed canisters of terror and hatred all at once… is best described by what it made. A horrid burning tar stenched slime, with an agonized face, lumps of metal attempting in futile jest to make them hold form. Died a sad little death to a weird catboy and his animal pals. Randall couldn’t even control it properly!

The excess terror it left in my body made me vulnerable to Sora’s damned blue cat friend. I can't believe it; Xehanort’s orders have been weakening me! I'm not scared of stupid roaring cats!! I’ve never been scared of any animals! I haven’t gotten any stronger since I've come to the future. I'm definitely getting weaker; did Ventus do something?! Ventus is ALWAYS cheating! 

I collapse into the snow again. Bone weary. At least nobody saw anything…

A click. Another click. And then the sounds of mocking laughter. With all the warmth of a taser she cackles madly, “Oh my gawd! You got your ass kicked!” Sliding away her cellphone. Damn it all, that lemon lady of the Organization was on some snowscape wasn't she? Miserable skank. She takes a few more steps away, “Just so you know the next meetings in about an hour. So, hurry up and get over it.” before making a corridor and leaving.

As if to mock me somehow a group of Unversed in my cave got blasted with electricity. Did she really just go back to the Graveyard to do that? How’d she even know something like that?

With a brewing headache, I just waited in the snow for a bit. I’ve never been in it myself. Ventus very few times. The doll probably never. It’s… just cold and wet… I don’t want to go back…

At least that doll can’t be having a worse day than me.

20300-80000-70740-00000-00001…20300-80000-70750-00000-00001…20300-80000-70760-00000-00001…

Ahhhhh!! I'm going to try some random ones! 11111-11111-11111-11111-11111? 99999-99999-99999-99999-99999?? Xbt80-345Tvc-WERT00-bAn45-82697???? Ahhhhhhhh….!

Mr. Null hasn’t been back in days. I’m trying numbers at this point less to do them and more because I'm worrying out of my mind. 

Did… did I creep him out? Did he not like talking to me anymore? The Flood are still here. At least. How long until they leave me too…?

The one resting against me suddenly freezes up. Huh? A sudden mad dash of activity, I feel myself being dragged and Unversed of all types scuttle around rustling up the stones (or were they rocks?), what's happening?

Then I hear it, a portal opening up. And footsteps.

Those aren't Mr. Null’s footsteps. 

The steps are far, far too heavy. A second set follows. Still not Mr. Null’s. Who are these people?

“Tsk, what a dump.” Said a young male's voice, he kept speaking with a nasally sound, was he pinching his nose? “How does he put up with the smell?” The place smells? Smells like what?

A deeper male voice, “Hold on, I can fix it.” I felt something slide across my body briefly. I had no idea what they were doing but it sounded like a ton of little things hitting the floor. “That should be better.” I hear a click, “...Does he not have a light in here?” What's going on? This voice sounds closer.

“Wouldn’t need one.” Definitely farther away. He’s moving around a lot. A few steps. Shuffling things around. A few steps. A loop. Is he looking for something?

Are these guys burglars?!!!!!!!!

The deeper voice sighs, “You know yourself better than anyone, what are we looking for? He said something about an inspection. I’m not seeing anything but rocks and monsters.” Ok so not stones. Mr. Null has a lot of rocks, that's cool, does he coll-FOCUS ON THE BURGLARS SORA!

“Whatever's distracting him. Old man needs him in a very particular state to work. Something's been slowing it down and we are to look for- WHAT IS THAT?!”

The two jump at the sight of something, I hear it in their steps. What did they see? I bet it was a Hair Raiser. Those sounds scary!

I feel a boot kick me, then something grabs and drag me forward by the hood. “Gugh Marluxia! Don’t touch it!” Wait, me? I scared them? How? I’m adorable! Also I literally can't move.

“I know what it is. Vexen told me about it. It’s a broken replica he had disposed of.” 

I am not broken! I am currently indisposed. >:(

“Seems to be in… fine enough condition.” A shuffle of rocks as I feel the boot move me around, “Marluxia I'm not kidding stop touching it. That creep is probably using it to give his right hand a break, if you know what I mean.” None whatsoever. He uses his hands fairly evenly, I think?

The other person groans in frustration, “Don't be crass. Look; it was in the corner and it’s covered in dust. I doubt he's so much as glanced at it since it was forced on him.”

“Still gross.”

I can hear the Unversed and monsters scuttle around. Those two men are kicking things and it sounds like they might be breaking them. I can't do anything… wait. I can now. But should I?

…Mr. Null can always make more critters, right? I feel a boot press to my head.

I'll make it up to him later somehow but for now; Thundaga!

Thankfully Thunder magic doesn't start at my hand but just vaguely above me. Lighting has a fun distinctive sound, along with filling the air with a buzz. The other two did not find it as good as I did hear screaming a bit. The Unversed unfortunately started a full-on stampede and screamed even louder. Oops…

“What are you kicking over there?!” said the deep voice.

Young voice started snapping back, “I wasn't doing anything! You must have disturbed the Unversed!”

The two kept shouting at each other until one made a funny noise and stomped away. The other following, maybe? The voices then stopped.

Did… did it work?

Lying there, slowly getting more afraid, I could only hope Mr. Null would come home soon…

Please be ok Mr. Null!

Please… please be ok… please help. 

PLEASE HELP MR NULL PLEASE HELP! HELP! HELP!!

Image yourself on a 40 ft tall pillar of rock with 11 sets of eyes, staring and judging you. Some are obviously very mad. Others are clearly smiling ready to get you into even more trouble. You’re late by the way. You’ve made everyone stay longer because that few seconds in the snow world was nearly an hour over here.

I have never had to speak longer than a few sentences at a meeting before, and here I am, giving a full report. Or as Xehanort put it, “Please explain to us your failure.”

“My stated mission objective was not a failure. I did exactly as the mission brief called for.” Asshole.

“Then why were you in Arendelle?”

“Because a stupid cat monster…” I hate this, “...got the drop on me and tossed me into a door to Arendelle.”

“Defeated by a mere citizen of the world? Goodness you certainly have fallen.”

“I wouldn't be like this if I could at least train!” I just thought in my head and didn't suicidally say out loud, “But nooooo! You won't let me fight Unversed and you won't let me spar with others in the Organization! What the hell am I supposed to do?!” When the heads turned, I realized I did say that. 

 Xehanort's mood instantly plummeted, “Are you questioning me boy? My methods?”

Vanitas, it’s not worth it, don't say it- “Yes.” Fuck… 

“I am your master. With nearly 70 years above you," I had to stop myself from snorting, "I know better. I know exactly what you need.”

“But then why am I-”

“Because you are a poor student who isn't trying hard enough.”

Trying hard enough?! 

“There is another matter as well.” The weird pink gardener’s words sliced through the thick air. “The surprise inspection.” 

Xehanort smiled, “Ah yes! To what has my former apprentice been distracted by?”

Marluxia looked a bit down, “As far as our expedition went, nothing but the trash we’ve been dumping there. Burnt to a crisp.”

Young Xehanort gagged, “The place just reeks of fire and rot! Not to mention one of his disgusting Unversed tried electrocuting us!”

Electrocuting? What? “What, Are you stupid? None of the Unversed in there can electrify you.” Not during the day at least.

That pissed him off. “Something definitely electrocuted me and it was definitely one of your Unversed-!”

“As if.” Xigbar spoke up, “Do you realize how much electrical trash we dump in there? Last week I dumped 6 car batteries in there.”

“SO that was YOU?” I couldn't help but shout. I can’t keep doing that!

He laughed hard, “Yep! That was me. Thought you could have a few car batteries, as a treat. Mini Xehanort must have kicked them, and now he's trying to save face blaming an Unversed.”

The younger one kept complaining, “But, he does have electric Unversed! They nearly set the place ablaze!”

He’s definitely a young master, he’s just as stupid. “I don't keep them in that cave for that very reason! I don't even keep fire ones in there when they're not in use.” Leaving those things in overnight was asking to die by suffocation. Those bums are kicked out the second they are made!

The young idiot changed the subject again, “So what have you been doing?! You keep finishing your missions too quickly!”

“Are you actually complaining that I'm doing my job quickly?” I've had this excuse in my back pocket for some time; “I've been going back and exercising. It's the only training thing I can do with all the restrictions.”

“You've been exercising in a cave?” Dripped out of the rotten lemon lady’s mouth in disbelief.

“Vexen tells me to go back to my cave and my orders are to stay there, where else am I going to go? What else am I going to do?”

“So. Worried about your strength, and in the face of limitations you still attempt to improve?” Old Xehanort had that wicked grin, “In that case, to make up for your failure and give you even more exercise you so desire, you may not use any more dark corridors around the Keyblade Graveyard.”

I could almost feel something inside me…break. 

Walking everywhere in a hot sweltering desert. That probably includes climbing the pillars. I still have to go to Vexen’s and I still have to get to my cave. My cave is 3 miles away from everything at minimum. The uniform is a floor length coat with a set of gloves made of black leather.

I had to fight the urge to charge the old bastard. Dig in my fingers so as to not strangle him. Had I just kept my mouth shut I wouldn't be stuck like this. So, I just nod and hold as still as possible to hide the boil in my veins and the shaking of my fists.

Even with both the dark suit’s and the leather coat’s gloves I clenched my fists hard enough to draw blood.

The meeting continued, something about a mission involving the silver rat and Xemnas not due for a few weeks at Sora's current pace.

Then at the end, “Is there anything else anyone would like to share?”

“Why-!” Oh damn it, Vanitas SHUT UP! But they're all looking at me now so, “Why…didn't you guys tell me Sora was a cat?”

Everyone is looking at me like I've lost my mind or broken into lighter. Xehanort raises a hand out in a code that stands for ‘nobody but me talk’ but it's clear he has to take a moment to compose himself to speak, “You…didn’t know?”

“No. I knew he was traveling with a goose and Goofy. It just feels like somebody should have mentioned that they were all ugly barnyard animals and not just those two.”

Xehanort's smile is strained, not in a distasteful way in a ‘I’m trying very hard not to laugh’ way. Why? What mistake am I making here? He was a cat! That was gray and red and sure the fins were kinda weird but I've heard of bald cats. What's to say some don't have fins?? Maybe he’s a cat… fish, yeah, a catfish something stupid.

Eventually The master says evenly, “Vanitas, you are excused from the meeting early. You have quite the distance to cover from here to the base now. So go.” He shooed his hand at me.

Vexen spoke up, “And I again won’t be needing you today. So please, head right on to your hovel.”

I nearly auto piloted a corridor but I managed to just leap off the pillar and on my feet before taking a running start. I want to get the hell away from there, what is this uncharacteristic mercy? Probably not, it's probably to rub it in my face later how long it's going to take me to get anywhere…

When that worthless brat was out of sight, I finally released a long hearty laugh. The others joined me in turn. By the time our laughter had subsided I turned to them all, “None of you are to ever correct him.” That might just be the foolish thing Vanitas has ever said in the entirety of the time I've trained him. 

Luxord gave a look, and I nod, “You may take bets for when he will finally realize his error.” I will win of course. For I know nothing less than seeing Sora again on another world will convince Vanitas otherwise.

Utterly seething, I return to my cave not expecting to find flower petals leaking out the mouth of the cave. I was expecting to find everything gone but instead I've been somehow reversed robbed. They’re supposed to be stealing things, not leaving about thirty pounds of flower petals on the floor! Through the normal smells of the cave and new shitty roses, I could feel the doll’s emotions slice through the powerful stench.

Kicking the damn petals out of my way I see the scorch marks left by lighting. It couldn't have come from the car batteries in the entry, nor from an Unversed. But the doll was there in an absolute panic, stressed to the max, and for once it might have been justified. I could feel the static in the air increase as I approached. It better not shoot me with lighting…

“It’s me.” The static died, and the panic bloomed with relief before transitioning into what I could only assume as a massive crying tantrum would feel like, but there was far too much happiness mixed in. It was like the worst part of the fear mixed with laughter. The faceless doll of course, just lied there twisted on its side. Now with a boot print stamped into its cheek.

I drag it towards me and notice it’s also covered with dirt. “Ah, the dust strategy. Classic. Going to need to bring a bucket tomorrow…” Damn it but no corridors! What a massive pain.

Wait. Unversed didn't have that restriction. Hell yeah, eat shit ‘Master’! I order them to fetch water before the barrier activities for the night.

Whatever I gained from that momentary victory died, today was truly a horrible failure on all points.

Propping the doll up, I sat across from it, “Today sucked.” I’m shocked the doll is still here. Better start thinking of a replacement, this was just a fluke. They’ll get it next time. Would it really be that much more pathetic to talk to a Flood?

The doll emits strange feelings. A wave of fear before a steady anxiety. The antsy kind like… “Are you trying to tell me something?”

Confirmation followed by a near flat line of emotion. Suddenly two sharp bursts of annoyance. Before another flatline. 

“Is the emotion important?” The doll radiates Disgust. So, No.

“Is the number important?” The doll radiates Joy. So, yes. Hm, two…ah the inspection. “Were there two people in here? I know already.” 

Utterly flabbergasted. I would have paid munny to see the look on a real face, “Those two were doing an inspection, looking for things to confiscate. The Unversed had told me. Don’t use thunder magic that big in my cave again; the roof’s not high enough.”

A roller coaster of acceptance, confusion, frustration, worry, surprise and delight ending on a massive confusion. 

Like… so intense was this confusion I was confused in turn, “What? They told me about all this. What’s got you twisted?”

It felt insulted, it wasn't the inspection? “I don’t get it. I don’t know what you could be confused about.”

Almost 5 minutes of trying to decipher feelings, culminating in them getting hurt. Finally giving up and then stewing as I had a habit of.

Just great! “Can’t I catch a break for once? I'm trying my hardest and all anyone’s got for me is criticisms!” I flop over to lie on the floor, an arm over my face, whispering, “It's so pathetic. How much I just... I just want the scrap of… of… a compliment.”

Removing the glass of my helm and rubbing the bridge of my nose, in a high-pitched voice “‘You’re following orders. You are timely. Your effort is acceptable.’ Is that too much?”

Yes.

Because compliments make you complacent. Greedy. Ego swells too much. 

Memories of Ventus taunting me with his stupid insipid happiness. Always just dangled above me, something I could perceive but never reach. 

No one must have ever told the doll that. It feels pity toward me, relaxed, and then hopeful. Determined. Assertive. Happy. Assertive. Happy.

This waste of space is really…! “What do you want a compliment? After what I said? Jerk.” All stops before a bitter annoyance. Wait a second, “Is… is this your idea of giving a compliment?”

Elation. Assertive. Happy. Interest. Happy. Obstinate. Happy.

I… don’t get it. My head swimming, I stood up, “I’m going to bed.” I leave it out there again. It’s still insisting it’s happy.

At least my splotchy rug remains.

Sighing, I have got to cut out that weakness brewing in the middle room. Lying down I think about all my failures for the day. They haunt me into the night.

The most troubling thing…I took a look right into that catboy’s heart, just before his friend stopped me. I saw Ventus. 

Past all the nonsensical bullshit of Sora’s heart I found him. Ventus. His burning pure light…with a chunk of pure darkness hiding at the very edge.

It was me… I was there, locked away deep in his heart.

Xehanort hadn’t been lying. 

I lost.

The current me is trapped in his heart, stuck forever drowning in a sea of light. I heard the barrier activate trapping me in here for the night.

It’s just another prison.

Chapter Text

- Day 61 -

Today begins my efforts to cut this blight out. I awoke, ordered the newly made Scrappers to drag the doll into the corner, and while I was gone make a small barrier of rocks and junk to keep it out of sight. I will no longer be weakened by this… thing any longer.

The Unversed that had grabbed a bucket of water last night glared at me in offense. Gesturing towards the bucket. “Whatever, set it aside for now.”

I expected my missions to change. I expected far too much.

Monstropolis was even more of a shithole, a far emptier one then the last few weeks. I made Unversed to gather more containers of scream.

It was almost eerie. Disquieting? You previously couldn’t go anywhere without seeing Unversed causing trouble and ripping things apart. The Heartless exacerbating the issue. But now the place looks like it just survived an earthquake and no one remained. At least with the new batch, I guess it’ll be back to being noisy in a few days. 

Returning to my field in the Graveyard, I started making my Unversed as per normal. Until a Chrono Twister said it was time to head out to the meeting nearly two hours early. Walking everywhere sucked ass. I ran, but kept making Unversed the entire way. I arrived at the meeting barely on time. Nothing important was even said. Sora hasn’t done anything since yesterday.

Saix didn’t linger. The halls of the accursed base were as bland, landmarkless, and twisty as ever. I finally found the breakroom after making nearly 100 more excessive Unversed. I got an S for my efforts somehow. How are they counting all these anyway?

Against all odds I did remember my way to the mess hall from there. Food was those white cubes again, I ate them while making my way to Vexen’s lab, where he was nearly done with the new replica, and as expected he shooed me out again. By the time I had arrived at the cave the sun had begun to dip. 

But I was too late. Somehow for some reason the barrier was already up and because it’s invisible I slammed into it while running at full speed. Damnation, I'm stuck in the entryway of trash. Those pesky dirtbags had also started randomizing the trash portal’s location, forcing me to put a trash can on the back of a Guildwinder in an effort to have it run over and catch the trash before it made more of a mess.

Sleeping in ashes was not my idea of a good night's resting spot. But it’s all there was, so there I slept.

-Day 62 -

I don’t give a single iota of care that I'm covered in ashes, but everyone else laughed. Whatever. Sora was hassling the moogle’s today. Buying items one by one to get postcards? I don’t get it. Having friends sounds exhausting if you’ve got to scam a system of free postcards to keep in touch with them all.

Nothing worth noting when my actual job started, but I did everything as fast as possible with a better route. I actually made it into the cave today. 

I peek my head past the entryway, looking all around. Rocks everywhere, walls surrounding me, tiny holes filled with eyes, and soon enough a barrier at my heels making everything worse. I try to ignore it, just take a breath and keep going… but my chest hurts. Everything hurts. It’s normal, but… whatever. I’m just recovering from my weakness. The pain will make me stronger. It always has… right?

The Scrappers unsurprisingly, failed at the simpleton’s task I gave them. They made a barrier that would only disguise that worthless ‘thing’ from someone the height of a Scraper. The doll is still clearly in view from my height, boot mark in sight. Whatever. It’s stupid. I went to bed.

- Day 63 - 

I don't look at it. 

I go to the meeting. 

My chest hurts.

I do my job. 

I go to the next meeting.  

I come back and sleep.

- Day 64 - 

I don't look at it. 

I go to the meeting. 

I do my job. 

I go to the next meeting.  

It hurts.

I remember boots being the last thing I saw before waking back up in my cave.

- Day 65 - 

I wake up, I walk out of my room and into the main area of the cave, just as I'm passing through my peripheral vision see’s movement from where the doll is. By the time my head swivels to look at them I catch only the sight of the doll breaking its own neck.

W-what…I blink. Something about the doll changed… I have to go to work. So I leave.

Xehanort beats me at the meeting, I don’t know why. I’m too tired to figure it out.

At Monstropolis my very own Unversed hand me canisters of joy. They laugh at my pain. Even these abominations hate me now?! I destroyed them. I wish I hadn't, it's just more hurt.

They eye me like prey at the Graveyard, nothing I made comes out correctly. What's going on?

Xehanort shoots me with a point blank blizzaga and tosses me off the cliff. I shouldn’t have killed those Unversed.

I make it back to my cave, the first thing I notice is that there is a shocking amount of blood pooled around the doll’s now rotten corpse. How? There’s no water in the desert, is there enough inside a replica to cause this?... Wow, it sure had a lot of blood… My mind keeps churning before suddenly everything, my mind, the pain, my breathing, it all just stops.

There are no Chono Twisters calling for me, no Unversed at all in this room. This must just be a dream. That's why I can't move anymore. When an unseen assailant knocks me over, I feel nothing because it’s all fake. Why does my chest feel so constricted? Some stupid rainbow vomit bird waltzes up to me and after staring at me with its big dumb yellow judging eyes twisting its head nearly off its neck, twists it back to peck me. Did the lemon spike my textureless cube, what am I looking at? 

I only realize I'm awake by the sight of the wrong cave corner facing me, and a Chrono Twister bobbing and ringing angrily above me.

- Day 65 - 

I'm off my game. I had to stumble through the main room through a cloud of Jellyshade. I’m so off my game I'm late to the meeting by over an hour. But no one calls me out. Or did they? I can’t remember. I do my job, barely, but the missions are complete as ever. I say nothing at the meeting and continue to limp my way back to the cave, somehow unapproached.

Don’t look it. Don’t look at it. Don’t look at it…

But wouldn’t talking to the stupid thing be better than this? Maybe it would stop hurting if-

DAMMIT I SOUND LIKE VEN!

Don’tlook.Don’tlook.Don’tlook.

- Day 66 -

Without these tally’s these days would all blend together.

I don’t understand. I should be used to this. But the cracks all over my heart feel like they’ve been laced with salt. How did I get so weak? How did I let it get this bad?

I made the mistake of looking. But I didn't give myself the chance to see anything.

- Day 67- 

Why do I bother…

- Day 68 - 

Why? Why am I still here? Randall’s gone. Sora’s gone. Most of the Heartless are dead, and the Unversed are starting to run out of things to break.

But I make them. One canister, two canisters… then the third.

So tired, I pop it open and nearly burn my hand off from the lightness of laughter. Damn it! I toss it to the side. My hand…! It's got holes in it…

I stare blankly at my wound…though it at the tile underneath.

Why? Why am I still here?

Why am I still making these things?

Maybe I should just huff a can of joy and let it all end. 

Dammit more Ven talk.

Exhausted. Empty. I found myself just...just for a dumb moment I sat against the wall. Holding my head. Eye eyes burning and my head throbbing. One of those rotten worthless not-mine Flood brings me another basically empty cup of coffee. I feel the urge to strangle it. But…

 I've lost enough. I don't want to be punished anymore.

Somehow, I’ve made it back to my cave. Don't know how. I’m standing in the middle room just staring at the holes in my hand, bleeding on the ground…

Why…

A scent…? No, an emotion I hadn’t felt for a while drifts over to me.

Don’t look… don’t look…

It’s concern.

Sighing, I look up and see it there, just caught in pensive concern. Only that dumb eyeless worthless limp wristed idiot of a faceless Doll could just sit there and worry about someone else when it's paralyzed and half buried under rubble.

Dragging them out, I expected to be rejected; not maced with jubilation, “Stop that.” My hand hurts. I look at it before putting my hand on their hand, “I only need you to heal me.”

Without any hesitation, it casts its cure a few times. A few too many times. I don’t know why I let it overdo it.

Eventually pulling away, my hand was now totally numb and free of excess holes. I felt my mouth try to open to blabber by I kept it shut.

This weakling is trying to infect me with more weakness and is going to cripple me more than I already am. It heals me. It makes him desire things that he shouldn't have.

Compliments will make him soft. Like Ventus.

But Ventus beat me. And he got complimented all the time. The best part of him being asleep is that I don’t have to hear about how ‘good of a job he’s doing!’

But how does he expect to get them from the doll? It can’t speak, it’s broken.

Okay, fixing it is probably out of the question. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Vexen? That jerk wouldn't even give me the time of day, let alone to something he already gave up on.

Fixing it would also mean it could speak freely. Insult him. Get angry and leave. There is no doubt that’s what it would do.

It could leave and just become another asshole in the mess hall I'm not allowed to talk to…but it’s not a member of the Organization. I could talk to it all I wanted. I could follow it to the ends of the world and force it to listen.

Hell, I'd welcome the insults, I'm…kind of excited about the idea. A verbal spar to make up for the real ones I can’t have…

Wait, if I repair it, could it fight?! It knows magic! Could I finally have the sparing- no no way Xehanort would never allow it… If I did it somewhere he was paying attention too. There's no way they actually care about Monstropolis at this point! Hell, I have so many Unversed hiding in every nook and cranny of the Graveyard I could easily keep an eye on all the Organization. Even their silvery workers. It’s nearly 60 to one when it comes to those guys. 

We could spar and get away with it.

No. No he can't. Xehanort always has eyes. Besides that, wanting to fight it will drive it to run away. It is its own person.

No. 

No, it's my doll. It was given to me.

It will stay with me. I will make it stay.

My senses return when I notice I'm up to my ankles in paranoid Thornbites and distressed Hareraisers. Not a bad idea. I shed all my excess feelings about the matter. Any leftover clinging emotions that's not mine, any emotion I'm feeling right down to the core so I can think about it clearly. Peeling layer after layer of baggage until there was nothing left.

Emotions gone, I am focused and unobstructed.

Yes. This doll is mine. Vexen said as much. It would be easy to keep it here. Tie it up. Break its legs. Replicas aren't much different to humans, so a well-placed stab to the base of the spine and it would never walk again.

A sparring partner would be nice, but that was too much. Xehanort would find out. Fighting is loud. Magic even more so and that’s the only thing I'm sure of them having.

They don't like it? Too bad. They start crawling? Break their arms. Start giving me too much sass? I could gag them. The magic might be tricky but there are ways to suppress it.

Yeah, yeah there were plenty of options to keep them just what I want them for. I joked long ago about them being the perfect captive audience… I could keep them that way. I could keep them perfect.

But does he even feel that way anymore? He hasn’t talked to them in days and hasn’t gotten in any trouble. Unlike before when he was talking to it, he got in trouble a lot.

I look down to them, they’re waiting for me but are being very patient about it.

I set them against the rock like normal, and they were happy. I feel my mouth suddenly weighed down… just… What do I even talk about…? These past few days… Does he really want to relive the embarrassment?

“Ventus’s heart is hiding in a catboy.” Fuck, really? Just jumping right in the worst part? The doll is SCANDALIZED. That was an easy 130,000 munny face I just missed, “Yeah he’s hiding in a catboy who beat up one of the biggest monsters I've ever created.” They're sad…for me! They are upset, FOR ME! They dip into a weird mix of feelings; I have no idea but… but I'm fine with that.

Does it even matter what they feel? The attention is all I'm really after if I'm just honest with myself.

I talk. I talk and talk and talk about the shity week I'm having and I finally understand them. When I talk about Sora killing Unversed, I sense their sympathy. When I talk about the Masters punishments, I feel their empathy. When I talk about having a nightmare, I recognize that pattern of internalized frustrations when they’re trying to move but can’t.

I… I have to fix them. I want that. I want that stupid sympathy! I wanna see it! I wanna see if it's real, and maybe just maybe extract a small amount of… of comfort from that. Maybe I would feel better, is that a crime?! I can still make Unversed the rest of the day! Why couldn’t I have this?! The comfort they Might bring, a warm body that could give instead of a cold shell that can only imply… Ventus was allowed to have so many comforts I couldn't count them all AND HE WON! HE WAS STRONGER THAN ME. HE IS STRONGER THAN ME DAMMIT! I was reduced to being a piece of his heart! Not a merge with him as victor, as just another voussoir to hold him together!

And Xehanort? All of his orders have only weakened me! “I'M NOT WEAK!” Shit I didn't mean to… to...

The doll's hand is twitching. No illusions, it's twitching. I have no idea what on earth possessed me but… I slowly reach down and hold it. I expect it to hurt. To burn my fingers or… but it just gives a very very light squeeze. They emit a wave of something I just can't even identify right now. They squeeze softly again. 

My sight goes blurry. What the hell is wrong with me…

Ventus got to rub this in my face for years… and here's the real version. Just on the cusp of my grasp. 

It’s…unbelievably pathetic. Truly Pathetic. Flebilis…

But I want it! I want it! I want! Why can't I have this one thing?!

I can.

Vexen gave it to me. 

I can do whatever I please.

Chapter Text

Acknowledging I just had some kind of a mental meltdown, I once again shed my emotions. Hm, with how many I've made I could write them in for tomorrow’s mission. 

The Unversed created are highly agitated, the Scrappers in particular give their best impressions of Soldier Heartless with how they twitch.

With a clear head, I dragged the doll to the center of the room, and for once made it a semi comfortable position, “Ok. I'm going to try my best to fix you.” I was expecting excitement, not a punch of raw ecstasy to the jaw, “Hold your horses! I have no idea what I'm doing.” The gratitude in the air was…poisonous.

Okay, where to start?

I lick my thumb and try to get that boot mark off it’s- their face. “What can you currently do? Like what do you have control of?”

Magic sparks at their hands. They wiggle their fingers just a little. A pause. Then it’s anxious and embarrassed. Guess that’s it then.

“Alright. Progress. Better than nothing. Ok… got to keep this yes or no…”

The doll is definitely ready and willing. Their hope and gratitude fill the air but there is something desperate in this. It's probably just how much it wants it but… I think their spirits have been crushed too many times. Thanks Vexen, your screw ups are giving me a limit.

In any case, “Vexen, had you connected to the computer could you…” What would the word be? “Communicate with it?”

A joyful for Yes.

“Did Vexen understand you?”

A disgusted for No.

Goddamn it I don't stand a chance.

Impulsively, “You suggested a while ago that it was something small Vexen could fix, can you give me a feeling of what it might be?” That was stupid that neither made sense nor could they tell me!

Their emotions flatline, and then play for me a scene. From the dullness and deliberateness of the emotions I could tell they were remembering something. Everything was neutral, nothing’s going on than a sudden slice of puzzlement followed by an annoyance that blooms into a hot pot of anger, worry, confusion, but most importantly DENIAL. Then a sudden epiphany, a spot of impatience, then everything is doused in relief and embarrassment before returning to neutral.

It was a perfect emotional recreation of something I've seen a few times; the feeling of wanting to reach something you can’t, but there’s something in the way. The embarrassment at the end implies a smaller version, like forgetting something small.

“Hm. Show me Disgust if you're missing something physical, or feel annoyed if you're locked out of something.” They pretend to be annoyed. “Ok… locked out of something…inside you?” Joy for yes.

I guess I have something worth a try. 

Keyblades to summarize, are bullshit. What counts as lockable or unlockable by a keyblade is completely arbitrary. For example, you’d think since they were invented long before digital locks they wouldn’t work on them, but a single tap later and those locks give up just as fast. Learned that one from the Federation's spaceship. But if a box with no lock is just shut with a normal ass latch? No. The keyblade says “Fuck you, figure it out.”

I pull out Void Gear. For a moment I think about tapping them on the head, but instead I just take a stance, point Void Gear at them, and just generally go for “unlock.” Master never actually taught me how to do this, but what did he ever really teach me? 

The pull of Void Gear takes over, turning my half-assed pose into one of those genuine unlocking poses that I can see Ventus or Terra doing. A beam emits from Void Gear and collides with the doll. There is definitely some kind of shift.

The doll’s entire body twitches, like it's activating, but something still seems to be off…

‘&738B-LEEE1- DEMop-92495-0000@’

I would cry if I had working eyes! The key is filled in, and the prompt blocking my way is gone! If this place was like a plane, it was like being locked in the seating area and finally getting access to the stewardess area. Now all I need is to get inside the cockpit and-

Oh. my. YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME?! IS THIS… another lock?! Who put this- JJ. JJ put this lock here. Maybe it made sense when I was in control but right now it's in the way! I… I felt a painful burning rage. But this is a lock. A real lock. I should be able to actually do something.

And now that I can properly clench my hands, I can summon my keyblade…!

In the hands of the doll, radiating an unexpected fury, appeared an object. Blisteringly colorful, nearly unidentifiable from the angle I stood at, like a thin piece of plastic. A Flood crawled up and sniffed at it curiously. Glancing through its eyes it looked almost like…a key?

Oh shit is that how people give each other keyblades?

Wait, is that supposed to be a keyblade? It looks like some kind of fake rainbow keyblade. Maybe?

I can't help but laugh at it! It’s so stupid looking! It was actually paper thin; how were they holding it? The gaudy rainbow nightmare actually lit up the area around it. Taking an even closer look, was it made of little squares? How did it hold together?

I tried reaching for it, and I did grab its handle but what a trip. My eyes and hands couldn't agree on what I was holding. It felt like a normal handle with thickness, but my eyes could see I was barely touching the paper-thin parts. Not to mention it was completely weightless, was I actually holding it? Surreal doesn't even begin to cut it.

More out of amusement than anything else I waved it a bit before tapping them on the head like a chest.

With a sharp burst of static, the key vanishes. What the…?

The lock is gone. My body is finally mine…!

Fingers curling. Back arching, shaking through the entire frame. A hand begins to reach.

It’s alive!

It’s… alive.

I’ve… ruined them. I ruined the perfect captive. I fall to my knees, why do I feel so defeated? I fixed it just like I wanted. Is... is that really what I wanted? Did he just talk himself into delusion?

I can see skin develop on their neck crawling up to their hood covered face. Guess I was wrong before. These body’s just grow the skin for you, scars and all.

I see hair start to stick out of the hood and that's when I lift it up and

And

It’s

It’s me. 

That's my face. My hair. That’s me.

My face…impossibly young. Too healthy. Too full, too soft, too well fed. Eyes that were fresh, huge, and blue like Ventus’s. How? How did they get my face? I basically never removed my helmet in their presence! They didn't have eyes to see with! How did they get my face?!

Those big eyes seemed to be staring at nothing. They dilate. They looked around confused. Huh? Are they still blind? Their voice, undoubtedly mine but higher pitched and way way too soft, “Yeesh, it sure is dark in here... Hello?”

Oh yeah. Most beings can’t see in the dark. I make a Red Hot to give them some light.

Startled, their face was struck terrified. Looking at the pot, then at me with a gasp, jumping back just a bit. What? What the hell, I fixed them! Why are they looking at me like I'm some sort of FREAK?

They haven't even had eyes till this point! What makes them think they can just judge me on appearances?! “What are you looking at?!”

Surprise bursts across before a smile wobbled onto their face. Joy. Recognition. Actual tears pricked at their eyes.

I smack my helmet lightly. Duh. They hadn’t had eyes till this point. So of course they didn’t recognize me. Okay that scans. But then how did they get my…?

“M… Mr. Null? Is that you?” 

Their voice was far too hopeful and all I could think about was “...Who the hell is Mr. Null?”

They looked embarrassed, I no longer needed to sense their emotions, they wore them freely on their face, “Ah! I'm sorry! Your name never came up so you were always Null_Entry in my head. So Mr. Null.”

I’m at a loss. “I'm… Vanitas.”

“Vanitas…!” said with a gasp, “Like the paintings! It’s so nice to meet you Mr. Vanitas!!” No one has ever been so happy to hear my name. To be so grateful to me. Frankly I think they’re about to have a meltdown of their own given how many emotions are flowing out of them. All of them pure, many of which Ventus felt. They’ve even started crying in earnest. “I’m… I'm so happy to meet you, Vanitas!! I’m... I'm-!” Then they cough.

They cough very roughly. They're hands try to reach up but they’re suddenly jittery and too weak. They start to choke and their face twists into a painful expression. The joy replaced with fear.

Probably sick. Too many changes and not enough prior exercise. I push them carefully to the floor; Vile Phials attempt to heal it as other Unversed attempt to… do something.

That made it worse. The doll couldn’t take it. After a very hard wheeze their eyes rolled into their head and they fainted. 

This is too much.

Way too much.

I've ruined them. 

I could try to- but no. It won’t work.

I don't know why, but numbly I pick them up. I hear their breath, unsteady but no longer trapped. I take them to my room and lay them out like I would lay myself. Hood up, as just the idea of looking at my stolen face makes me furious. Many Unversed surround them. I leave.

Tonight, I sleep in the middle cavern. 

I’m tired. I’m so tired. Those problems… are for tomorrow.

I forgot to take my rug…

-Day 69 - 

Why’d I do that? Why didn’t I at least break their legs? They're probably already gone. I curl in more. Why am I being so pathetic? I just need to get up and…I have to swim out of a huge pile of Blobmob and Jellyshade. Not again! That’s it. I'm declaring them for my mission today! If they’re going to waste my space I might as well make use of them. 

Flood rushed up to me and pulled at my coat. Pointing to the door. Yeah, I know it’s gone you don't have to tell me. The doll-

Huh. That's not accurate anymore, is it? 

They pull harder, and I kick them away, stomping towards the exit of the cave. I’ll probably see the doll-thing somewhere along the way. I wasn't paying attention, and bumped right into the face of Knuckle Bruiser. Who points back. “What?! What are you all hassling me for?!” and bitterly cursed my way back to the room to take a peek.

They’re still there. Lying down, twitching. 

“Okay, whatever, I have places to be!” shoving the Unversed out of my way, “They’re lying around like a lazy sack of bricks! Not interesting!” And I make my corridor, curse, drop it, and march out the cave and leave.

Sora is currently posting all the postcards. Given the meeting was so bereft of content, I found my mind wandering… I suspect that by the time of the second meeting, someone will have pointed the strange living doll out. And they’ll likely be killed. I should have told it to stay put…!

Thankfully my speed running strategies for my job have gone unnoticed.

Walking into Saix’s domain with a conga line of Blobmobs he just started filling in the paperwork for me. I sign my name, fill out the 3 obnoxious boxes of regurgitated information and leave.

I make it back to my cave to see the unusual sight of literally every surface that could hold a Flood, have one parked on it. All of them in unison glared at me, before pointing all at once to the door. A wall of blue limbs and red eyes leering at me. I look back to the cave entrance behind me. The Knuckle Bruiser stands in silhouette at the mouth. Eyes glowing in the gloom.

“...Alright! Alright! I’ll ignore your blatant treason for now.” Stepping around and over the army of Flood to the door. I touch it and hesitate. Why? They're probably just lying around being lazy….

I open the door.

Still on the floor. Still twitching. Emotions are… comfortably frustrated? That’s a combination I didn't think could even exist. 

I look at the Flood, who are still glaring at me like I could tell what was wrong. I look back with a sigh. What do I even do here?

“Hey, when you start walking around, stay in the cave until I approve your leave. Got it?”

“Gurpuuuurp.”

The strangest sound I think I've ever heard escapes them, they jolt all over sharply, before their hand very weakly rises into the air, the index curls against the thumb to make a circle and the other three fan out. All the while shuttering like a failing machine.

“...The hell is wrong with you?” Is it insulting me? In my house, cave, thing?

They wiggle their hand a bit more. Before their hand drops like meat on a butcher's counter. Emotionally they are in a pretty good mood. The room smells funny. Like muted fish.

Freak.

“Hey; Bugs!” Closing the door to the sounds of bloodthirsty screaming and the Flood look at me terribly unimpressed, “Get the hell out of here I don't need your judgment!” They depart, but give me side eyes the entire time.

What the hell is their problem?

Sleeping in the center cavern sucks, it's better with the new floor but no, it still sucks. I'm kicking the dol- the… uh. The brat out tomorrow…

-Day 70 -

Instead I ignored them and had a normal day.

In an act of pettiness, as my Unversed once again try some sort of…guilt tripping? Some of the smaller ones pull on my coat, others attempt to widen their eyes like that would have any effect on me. I just ignore them and go right to bed. I don't even attempt to see the mimic in the bedroom. 

Half way through the night a bucket of water is dropped on my head.

-Day 71 -

The Unversed are incensed. From the moment I wake up their eyes are on me. They glare, they cross their arms, and if they don’t have arms to cross, they pout miserably.

Traitors. I've never had this happen before! I march on right past them all, losers can’t do anything to me but stare. If they try anything I'll gut them where they stand.

My runs across the desert are normally dead silent with only the wind and my footsteps, but today I heard a shuffling. Looking back, I see a Mandrake. Standing about 10 feet away. Just standing there.

Whatever, I keep going.

But as I go, I hear more and more flutterings in the wind. One set of pat-pat-pats in the dust turn into a small cacophony. Every time I look back, there's more and more of them. Standing. Judging. Looking at me with their sad angry eyes. An army of stupid weeds is following me and are failing miserably at intimidating me.

They swarmed around the pillar at the meeting, they ominously glared as I did my canisters in Monstropolis, they balefully followed me in a conga line to Saix. 

Saix stared witheringly at them, especially the one that got on the other side of his desk and right beside him so I could see it was mad at me. He glanced at it before sighing and turning to me, “As Monstropolis is no longer a location of interest to us, this will be your final excursion there for the foreseeable future. So, you will be having a few ‘half days’ so to speak. Think of what to do with your free time constructively, for it will be gone before you know it when we find you new work.” He once again signed my papers in early, even though I hadn’t made enough for it yet.

He reached down to his side and grabbed the Mandrake by its leaves. “Now get these things out of my office. Consider it your mission for the day.” He said while handing me the Mandrake’s head.

As the cave gets within view the gang of Mandrakes make their move, bum rushing me, grabbing my legs and arms with their stupid leaves and all but drag me to the bedroom door. One of them even opened the door for me, bowing mockingly with a wave of their leaves.

It seems my manifestations of guilt, regret, and shame are sick of being made. Or are they sick of the D- the face thief?

I guess I'd better check up on it. Get this possibility of intense disappointment out of the way…

But it’s still here.

Huh? It's like they haven’t even tried to run! It doesn't even seem like they’ve tried to stand up. Or speak. I know I heard them talk before, why haven't I heard a peep since? They seemed the type to never shut up once they got going.

Did… did something happen? Are they still broken? Or are they just messing with me?

I march into that door and again come to the view of the erratically spasming doll on the floor. This time however, it’s not a comfortable annoyance.

It's right back to an intense confusion marred by fear. Loneliness…

Accompanied by the scent of blood. They’re lying in a small pool of it.

“What the hell?!” I get up right beside them, something looks off about their jacket. A Flood pokes at the shoulder, the stitching looks stretched and ready to give out like something tried bursting out of it. Putting a hand on it, it feels bloated like something’s underneath that's not body.

Hosting them up to a sitting position something falls out of their hood. A pile of… fibers? I grab a few of them, rolling them in my fingers. Multi-colored. Some brown, some pink, some curly, some wavy- is this hair?!

I yank off the hood and immediately turn away holding back the urge to vomit in my helmet again. I take a breath. It didn't- It can’t be like that! I just saw them a few days ago! My eyes are just lying to me. Checking to make sure, I slowly turned back. To my displeasure my eyes had not deceived me.

It’s…horrible. I’m truly at a loss to describe the mess I'm looking at. Their features are visibly melting away into something else that stays for just a single moment before melting again into something else. Constantly twitching, with them sitting up I can notice how they're almost pulsating as their height increases and decreases randomly in an uncomfortable smoothness that my mind can’t seem to process in any coherent way. Its eyes are now a watery soup, flickering into too many colors and shapes. Can it even see out of them? It seems to be trying to look at me but its jerky movements and general weakness, it doesn't seem to be able to make it. Its throat and mouth are shifting constantly too, in a state of constant deformity it can only pathetically gurgle. 

Considering it’s scared, it's probably begging for help.

I can't, it's too disgusting. I barely had enough time to turn away and remove enough glass to vomit out a black puddle of tar that turns into angry Unversed again. In full eyesight of the creature. Good, great. Now it definitely knows I’m a freak. Might as well get that bandage ripped off as early as possible.

Wiping away the residue from my lips, I turn to look at them in their delipidated eyes. Moment of truth. Can they see? And if they did, can they put up with the creation of my abominations?

The twitching starts at once, entire body jerking, before calming down into a simple head tilt of curiosity. No other emotions under the surface, somehow it seems to have calmed down some. Is it really not judging me? It stares at the newly created Unversed, seemingly thinking about something before it too, vomits.

I can’t so much as shout ‘don't vomit in my room!’ I'm too distracted by the thick globs of bright multicolored nonsense that dribbled out of their mouth, dropped into perfect spheres on the floor for only a second before rolling together and coalescing into its own monster.

A simply hideous…Dog? At least I think it's a dog. It's got blonde hair on its head and white fur on its body. Has a little muzzle, a red collar, a shirt with a black zigzag on it. Walking on two feet it turns to face me directly with the freakiest soul eating eyes I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing upon this universe. I haven’t seen a lot of dogs to compare it to but it's definitely uglier than Goofy. 

I just- I don't know what to do. I’m dumbfounded, flabbergasted! What kind of maniac just vomits up a dog in front of someone?! The ‘dog’ looks at me, says, “Bork.” It doesn't bark, IT SAYS THE WORD ‘BORK’ IN A HUMAN VOICE and then just walks away.

My pure bafflement is released as an Element Cluster that bungles its way out of the tiny room. “What. THE FUCK was that?!” I finally have the mental clarity to ask.

The lively doll’s lips flap uselessly with a series of body wide flutters before a low moaning, “ugha bubbmmumy.” 

Right, it’s broken and can’t speak. I shake my head as hard as I could, shedding off Unversed to get back to a workable mindset. Freed of most of my distracting emotions I turn back to the doll. I'd better get a full look of the situation, and unzip its coat.

The zipper only went down about a centimeter before an explosion of thread burst out instantly clogging the damned thing. What in the… thread? Why is there so much of it? Pulling the coat more out of the way I realized it's not just thread. Its threadbare clothes.

With the help of a Scraper's sharp claw, I peel off its outermost layer. A ‘shirt’ made of only the barest amount of material required to form a garment. It feels too strong of a word, this ‘shirt’ is see through and ready to fall apart in my hands. With how much poofy excess there is on the doll it must be wearing a few hundred layers of this stuff.

I snap my fingers, “Clear the way.” Unversed hustle over and take armfuls of the threads, tearing through the clothes. They expose just enough for me to confirm that those strings are differently coming out of the Doll’s skin. Occasionally visible past the doll’s hue shifting flesh, I can see that the strings go even deeper. I gag but keep it in this time. The dog thing has walked back in and also takes a scoop of thread with its arms, mimicking the Flood. What is it stupid? Does it think it's a Flood? Are my alcoves going to be cursed with a new nest filled with the demon eyes of a vomited dog?

I need to focus on the thing writhing in the room and not the weird dog it made. The skin is constantly, in random patches, shifting colors and the muscles underneath grow at an unmatched pace sometimes breaking free. That must be where all the blood was coming from.

With the zipper still choked with thread, I do my best to close up the doll's jacket. All the while unleashing a hoard of Sea-Salt. That was awful. I need to take a shower. This is disgusting. This is up there in terms of the nastiest things I've ever seen, and I've had the unfortunate experience of knowing Ventus’s daydreams.

I catch its eyes glittering in delight at the sight of the Sea-Salts, I think. Delight being the certainty. The Sea-Salt had been released from my back, but the ugly doll hadn't noticed or cared and once again vomited up another creature. Is it going to do that every time?!

Thick black, blue, yellow, and a bit of red dribble out of its mouth. They wriggle together and form, of all things, a Heartless. Yellow hat, blue egg-like body. Tiny little bird-like feet. It’s an Emblem Heartless, that much I know, but Heartless types aren’t my specialty. Does this thing think I make Heartless?!

The Heartless starts to float away towards the cave entrance but I grab it by its dumb squishy head, “Oh no you don’t! You stay here!'' I expect it to attack me but it harmlessly goes limp in my hands. I let it go and it floats nearby obediently.

Okay…

Okay. Everything is just…getting weirder.

The doll is now a melting mimic that makes shitty Heartless and dogs. Possibly dog Heartless. Goodie. Clearly I needed more insanity in my life. I walk out and snap to two Scrappers, “Grab ‘em and stand ‘em.” No more beating around the bush, it’s time to go to Vexen’s lab.

Somehow the two Unversed do manage to get them standing. Shaking like a leaf in the wind, but standing on their two deforming legs.

“We need to go to that Creepy doctor's office. Are you functioning enough to walk?”

It's shutters again, slowly dispelling it's own fears.

Once the amalgamation finally gathered enough confidence, a sharp shake wracked though every limb, before it attempted to lift up a single gangly foot.

Up into the air came the foot, but also pitched forward the entire body. At the end of the single motion the foot remained planted to the ground but now the leg was bent at perfect right angle. With unnatural swiftness the other leg lurched up from the knee then the thigh to lift and launch the body a fair amount forward. But also left it flat on its back. Using the bent leg forced it to stand once again.

Its arms are an uncontrolled chaos and its legs a poorly handled mockery of movement, leaving it with a motion more comparable to an idly malfunctioning turbine than anything resembling a living creature. But it did ‘walk’. A single pathetic foot backward. When it tried to take another step, it just launched itself backward even farther. If the old man was feeling charitable, he’d call it ‘flawed’. But if he were talking to me, he’d call it a failure.

It gurgled in triumph. Sickly little arms raised into what would be the air if it were up straight with all of its stupid little heart.

This was going to take a while…

This just isn't going to work. Even with the huge head start, and even eventually making Scrappers lift and drag them across the desert I'm not going to be able to make it in time before the meeting.

I sigh and order them, “Get to the lab! That stupid meeting’s about to start.”

It made that weird symbol with its hand again, and I opened a corridor and quickly ran through. Just as I stepped into the corridor, the floundering fool released a blood curdling scream.

“Vanitas what are you doing?”

Making Unversed in an unexplainable frenzy, “Nothing unusual.” 

How did the master not notice the corridor here?! I’ll be lucky if I don't leave flayed and left with a layer of skin as thin as those clothes the doll makes. 

Why am I feeling this way, it's fine! I wasn’t caught and the stupid doll is fine. The Scrappers reported that it was just over excited. And it felt the need to scream about it and claw for me. The only people that could possibly find it are here, there is no way Xehanort can just casually discover it as he’s badgering on about Corona or whatever. I am not in trouble.

“Vanitas.” said Master snaps, “Why are you producing Unversed?” He squints, “Why is there a Heartless with you?”

It’s still following me?! “It's stupid.” Not lying, it is. “Might not even be a Heartless.” I tried to stop the flow of Unversed but it just sort of made a ton of Flood instead of the variety of anxious ones. 

The Heartless form of master, Ansem, apparently that Xehanort just changed his name to Ansem of all things, shrugs, “Honesty. How refreshing. To answer your unspoken question, it is not. Leave here and handle it.”

Xehanort balks, “I will be the one to give those orders-”

“And we did. He will be a nuisance like this. There is nothing in the meeting that pertains to him anyways. Vanitas leave.”

This is probably a trap and I will be reprimanded harshly later, but for now I leave and I book it to Vexen's lab in record time. All the while thinking of cover up stories.

Vexen had never been very much aware of me during my daily visits. If he did notice me, he’d send me off, if he didn’t, I was stuck standing there for an hour bored out of my skull.

Was it my choice of spot? I was wearing all black against a set of black cabinets in a darker portion of the room. But whatever had made him not notice me was out done, for today surely I would be given away by the small creature in a coat that was mouth breathing with a horrible stuffy gurgle. Hunched over, with every pained breath lifting it a fair amount and with it little bits of strangely colored hair fell from its hood.

A wiggling silver worm in the corner looked depressed, wandered off and returned with a broom in tow.

We had to wait for nearly two hours for that meeting to finish and for Vexen to arrive. Standing, gurgling, and awaiting instruction to sweep. Gurgles and the buzz of bright lights were all that broke the silence. The two Scrappers that dragged the doll here helped out a few of their brethren that remained in the lab sorting the endless paper fort. Vexen’s voice floating in from down the hall was a painful relief.

“By goodness have you ever seen a meeting go on for so long?! I’ve never seen such pathetic quibbling! They were arguing forev-ACK!” Vexen finally wandered in, the intern in tow, and, with a double take, noticed us. “Good… mo- evening. Vanitas.” The intern took one step in, saw me, and ran away in fear. Vexen blinked and twisted his head funny at the sights, “Ah. Hm. What is this dying animal you’ve brought to my lab….?”

“The broken Replica.” Cutting out the bullshit, “I fixed it.”

“You?” Vexen stared at me incredulously, “You’re the one that ‘fixed’ it?” Looking at the replica with a disgusted edge. Said replica had managed to turn its head to return the look. “I’m not sure whether to ask ‘how’ or ‘what happened’ to get it in this state.” Rude. So maybe this isn’t fixed and it is definitely still broken. But it’s broken in a new way! Hopefully in a repairable way.

The mimic kept taking in heaving wheezing breaths. Vexen, disgusted, “What is it doing??”

“It’s called breathing. Most mortal things do that.” I don't have to but it feels bad to stop pretending.

He sighed, and cleared some table space off. “In any case… uh… I was under the impression you didn’t know much about computers.”

“I don’t. Which is why I need you to look at it because this is clearly wrong. Most things don't casually vomit up counterfeit heartless.” The small blue thing is still hovering nearby.

Vexen approaches, “Well I certainly could- good lord what is that stench?!”

“Blood and hair. The replica seems to be melting.”

The creepy man's face gets even more animated, somehow even more confused and horrified, “Melting? What do you mean melting?”

I yank off its hood, its face still a hideous incongruous mess of different cycling features. Vexen looked baffled, but I could sense his insatiable curiosity was about to take over.

Looking at them myself I sighed, “It has too much hair.” It was beginning to pile up on the floor. Silver worm with broom was still clearly waiting for the order. How something faceless that can’t feel emotions can look distressed I'll never know.

Vexen was revolted, but intrigued, “What happened at the time it was ‘repaired’?”

“It briefly took my form.” I paused, considering, “Was that supposed to happen?”

“Not really but the replica didn’t have a form set so I could certainly see it copying yours.” It was his turn to pause, rub his chin and softly muse to himself, “But then…? Hm, continue?”

“I don’t know. It started coughing, I left it alone for a while, it made a noise, started melting and it hasn’t stopped melting.”

“Right.” Vexen sighed, “I don’t normally revisit failed experiments but let’s at least connect this one up and see what might be the issue.” Walking to his computer, “But before that… Do you happen to know any water spells?”

“I have Watera, why?” Monstropolis basically forced me to learn the spell with all the fires.

“Take it outside and give it a good rinse; the smell is utterly unbearable.”

I roll my eyes even though he wouldn't see it and grab the melting menace, by the time I'm done Vexen should be set up anyways. Down the hall some I just stop and blast it with Water. No need to go outside and get dusty from the dirt. ‘Sides those wormy guys will clean any mess we make.

The blob-like creature was a lot calmer about getting blasted with water then I guessed it would be. It was curious about the water, but that’s a minor reaction all things considered. It was interested, but then very disappointed. “Not what you were expecting?”

It wobbly taps itself a few times before shaking its head no. I don't know what it means, so I just drag them back.

Vexen sighs in relief, “Much better! Vanitas, please place them on the table.”

I grab them by the scruff, and they still don't even make a single effort to struggle. With a hard plunk the replica is on the table looking around, “Want that wire back in its neck?”

“Yes! Paying attention, were you?”

Wrangled with ease, cord inserted with a little less, and then we had to wait a moment for the data.

Vexen gave them another look over, his face stoney but in reality bleeding curiosity, “Are you sure this is the same replica? With the same behaviors you’ve seen?”

“Positive. It’s been in my cave the whole time.” Why would I lie about something like that? That’d be stupid.

“Just trying to rule things out. See if it might have reset itself incorrectly or something. Are any of its behaviors consistent with when it was unmoving?”

“I'm pretty sure. Easy way to check is if it still hate’s the word bugs-”

“WWWWWHHHHHESREEES?!!” It roared, thrashing about looking for something, before eyes locking on a strange boxed shaped machine. In a new move to me it lunged for the box obviously trying to destroy it. I summoned more Scrappers to hold it back and a different one covered the offending cube. Then back to normal, in a few moments it calmed itself down as it usually did.

“Yeah, it’s the same one.” It seems to hate boxes now too. Or maybe it always did?

Vexen just plainly asked, “Why did it try to murder my 3D printer…?”

“No idea. I don’t even think they know what the word means.” With that final remark the computer beeped, and the data from the doll began appearing on the screen.

Really, really weird data. It looked nothing like how it did before. I don’t know anything about computers so it’s not worth wasting my time on new mysteries, but even I could tell something was different.

Weirdly Vexen also seemed mystified, “What in the name of…” clicking and scrolling and looking more and more baffled, “Who wrote this?! Vanitas, I have no idea what you did but I think…” Now looking determined he distractedly said, “I think I have an idea of the location of the issu-Oh dear that’ll do it.”

Vexen's jaw dropped as he stared into the monitor. Tapping furiously, he spent a number of minutes combing things over, muttering, trying a few things, muttering again, and then an unbroken five minutes of typing into something. I think they call it a ‘document.’

“Alright Vanitas.” He said while setting something up, “It has a number of issues all stemming from the same root cause. I’ve put a little demonstration on screen. I’ll try to keep it simple for someone like you, but it's basically a lot of data has been fed into a part and its body is going a bit haywire from it.”

The screen had Two figures standing on opposite sides of a line, one looked like the Riku replica, and the other the basic doll form of an empty replica, I shrug. “Okay, what about these two?”

“Yes, this is the Visual Form Constructor or VFC. To grossly simplify the process in a normal replica it looks and works like this; a form is here, and when we hit apply…”

The little picture of Riku turned into a bumpy grey bar that went through the dividing line, and as it did the replica began turning into parts of Riku. In less than a few seconds the replica had turned into Riku. “That’s really all that happens when it’s applied. In a normal replica like Riku it only takes a good minute or so. However, with your replica…. Er… this is what I see?”

The screen changed to the little replica form covered in pieces of bodies, changing rapidly as the grey bar feeding into it was massive and far lumpier than the Riku one. It stretched far far beyond the borders of the screen. Even after zooming out quite a bit.

Well that sucks, “So, will this last forever?” Currently the thing is trying to look around, but for some reason its back tilts forward, causing it to flip and now it's looking at the floor. Useless doesn’t begin to describe it.

Vexen snorted, lifting the creature back up, “Thank heavens no, but to be honest I can't give you an estimation of when it’ll be over. See it has to have an end to compile in the first place, so I know it will end but that is truly an immense amount of data.”

“Any idea on the cause?”

“Not one. I can understand the idea of it taking your form, but if that's the case where did all this other data come from? It's not even corrupted data, there’s simply a lot that got fed in. Duplicate data perhaps? Well, no it can’t be as these are all different data parts for features… The strange thing about it is how many there are. Was it ever connected to anything else? Another computer?” 

“I don't own a computer nor let it near any. As far as I know it was only connected to yours.”

“That rules out viruses.” 

“...Computers can get sick?” Can replicas? Probably cause their otherwise human bodies, right? Disgusting. 

“In a sense.” Vexen waved it off, “I never thought that much data could go through this part like this, so I don’t have any sort of cancellation programmed into it. It’s normally too short to warrant it. Going to have to add that to the to-do list for the next patch.”

Ok so it might be bordering on just short of forever before looking correct again. “What about its movement? Is that fixable?”

“Unfortunately, initialization is after the form change completes. It will likely only recover after the features are processed fully.”

I glared at him. The replica tries to look as well but halfway through its head turn, its head stops and leg moves up. After some twitching the head finally makes it. “Seriously what the hell causes this?” jabbing at them.

“Ah, to explain, right now it's struggling because…well imagine you moving your arm. And then your arm suddenly gets replaced by a different arm with different parameters- er controls. And you have to figure out the new controls but all you have as a reference is your old controls. So, you’d try to move the new ones with your old ones, right? But that isn’t always the same with the new ones. Maybe some of the movement is the same or maybe it’s all wrong and controlling different limbs now. The new differences cause issues and all you can do is keep trying new things till it starts moving correctly. Frankly it’s a bit surprising it has that much motion.”

“Oh, I get it. It's like the rug's being pulled out from under it the whole time. It's only going to get worse as time goes on, right? Like at a point where it's controlling its left arm by moving the right ankle levels?” The doll looked at me funny, "I said RUG, stop that."

Vexen snorted, “Right on the munny. The good news is during this process their nervous system is in a simplified state. Likely only feeling the very basics of touch and reduced pain.” As if on cue it tilts too hard again and falls off the table right onto its face. “Would you believe that's the exact reason why I set that limitation?”

So. One day it might be able to walk. But for now, it can’t do or feel much. They’re basically completely helpless.

I can live with this.

They can see, they can hear, though malformed they can react. They move a little but couldn't possibly escape the cave. They might not be able to speak well but maybe with some time they can reply in simple ways.

Maybe this will all still work out…

“And the vomited Heartless?”

“Let’s solve issues one at a time. If it’s not killing everything It’s nothing worth worrying about. Unplug it and leave. I’ve got some data to analyze.” He finally spotted the small bloody footprints from where it stood, and snapped his fingers, “Dusks! Sanitize my lab!”

Unfortunately, the idiot on the floor tried to lift its hand up in excitement and managed to kick a table of beakers over. A shocked squeak and apologetic mumble. 

I sense it before it’s completed, standing at full attention. A dark corridor is created and Vexen joins me in turn. The doll isn't aware and is just confused.

Thankfully who steps out is only just Saix, “Vanitas I wanted to speak to you before- what on earth…” Glaring at the mess on the floor who waved at him with its foot. Saix merely shook his head for just a moment before, “Your reassignment came in sooner than expected. You will be catching up on Demyx’s failures.”

Vexen crossed his arms and shook his head, “I told you all it wasn’t worth it to assign that layabout anything more than janitorial jobs.”

Saix rolls his eyes, “It’s mostly Heartless cleanup. I thought Vanitas would be the most tolerant of it.”

“Sounds unironically great.'' I get to crush things on purpose now? No more silly games? Finally, something to almost look forward to.

Saix nods and leaves through his corridor. 

Destructive doofus kicks another table, Vexen sighing “Ugh, would you please take it back to your cave so it can't break anything more?”

I lift it by the scuff and place it into the waiting arms of the two Scrappers. The amalgam is feeling pretty relieved about it all, and strangely, so am I. Vexen makes a corridor, “This one’s between us. Now shoo.”

Back in the cave, I dropped the amalgamation in the center room. I felt a lot better. Snapping at a few Unversed, “Clean my room!” I'm sleeping in there tonight. Sleeping in the center cavern sucked. To many uneven rocks and a really annoying draft.

The once doll looked around the cave with intrigue and cooed softly, “It’s not that great. You’ll be sick of it before you know it.” But it just laughed.

“Looovvts ooouuuughf ggggruuuoofff nehwts eeeeeeeeeeeeeh?” 

“Zero out of Ten didn't understand a word.” They just laughed and did that hand sign again with the circle and fan. Is it supposed to have meaning to me?

It feels wrong. I have to sit a while with the grunge giggler and… it’s not the same feeling as with the doll. The doll can be in a room and you’d still feel alone. But with this thing looking all around and twitching it was... Too lively.

Blob thing pointed at a Hareraiser and murrmbled out a, “ffffeefffhrruuuuud?” 

“No, that’s a Hareraiser.” Stupid idiot. It looks nothing like a Fefhrud.

Gasping, it was thoroughly delighted. I mostly have to go off released emotions again as its face was unreadable from its damage and its movements unreliable. Right now, it looked like it was almost trying to pet the Unversed like a sick maniac or something. 

With my room finally cleared of doll residue, I turned in for the night. The gang of Mandrake encircling the rancid wriggler being the last thing I see.

Lying down I sighed. What have I done? I’ve gone and removed the privacy and sanctity of my living space. I close my eyes. My heart continues to crumble…am I back to where I was? I can’t remember exactly. I stopped paying attention when it seemed like it was going to end soon.

I can hear it- them? Occasionally. Giggling softly.

I can see! I can see again! I can see! I CAN SEE!

For once I feel right at home in my body! No more extra sensations, no more weird flutter in my chest, no more sacks underneath it, just collision:True and collision:False. Sight! Hearing! I’ll never besmirch the gifts of my homeland ever again! It’s real!! I can see! I can MOVE!

Not very well. But it's ok! I’ll learn again and be moving like a pro in no time. It’s not an accident! It’s not a dream! It's not temporary! I can live again!

Tears, real genuine tears roll down my face, I feel… I feel so alive! I can see! I can finally see we really do live in a cave! It's big, and so detailed beyond all measure…! Each individual rock looked like I could touch it and move it! I thought Twilight Town had been an advanced system but next to this it looks like a cheap toy.

Next to this, home is just…incomparable garbage.

At the moment it’s kind of hard to make out all the details, my tears are one thing, but my eyes are constantly changing sizes. Oh Ava, even your gifts are backhanded. Trying to rub them clear all I did was accidently backhand myself.

You’d think I'd have this breakdown the day it happened... But I thought it was a lie. That I was just pretending so hard. I’ve seen Ava wearing that helmet, and that was JJ’s coat. The Unversed just seemed like they were figments of my imagination based on the Heartless I had met. It was super dark in that room like a nightmare. The days in the small room, I could barely see out of my uncontrollable morphing eyes so I thought it was just a bad blurry day dream.

But the details…! They come and go with the new found focus of my eyes, but I could never imagine a space so beautiful if I tried. A cave so stunningly bewitching; from the multiple red eyes of the Unversed giving the whole place a glow the likes of which I’d never thought possible, to the unbelievable detailing in the rocks and stone, and the Unversed, Oh the Unversed…!

I sniffle, I don't know why but I do as I look around. I thought they would be like the Heartless of home all perfectly identical but no! Some have scratches, some are bigger or smaller, the little blue ones are all blue yeah but different shades of blue! Some by nary a single hexadecimal, others by quite a magnitude. Some have little black pants. So much color, I never thought there were so many blues!

Are they the Flood? Hmmm, naw, water floods are all brown and full of mud ‘n plants. Ooh maybe they're the Blue Sea Salt!

Vanitas, I owe him so much. So much, I can't even list them all without overflowing. He’s amazing! He must be a native of this system, he’s far more beautiful than even the avatars. The shine of his helmet, the light scratches in his metal chin, the detailing on his coat… The simply unimaginable amount of movement and secondary action with every passing frame. He’s so cool!

He’s even gentle. He manhandles me a lot, but he doesn’t hurt me. He doesn’t put in a huge amount of power like Elimi-chain. I know she couldn't really help it but, Vanitas is just so nice to me??

In the corner, with sharp little eyes and long floppy pink ears is an Unversed I don't know the name of. Is that a guildwinder? A Hair Raiser? Surely not, their cute little bunnies! The (maybe) Flood are also cute little bunnies!! And there are plant bunny guys hiding in the corners too!! Vanitas is just a bunny making machine!

I’m going to pet them all! …Once I learn how to stop hitting myself and everything else by accident first of course. I don't wanna punch Vanitas’s bunnies, that's just rude.

I can’t stop shaking from excitement, there’s finally things to look forward to! 

My attention was suddenly locked on a small rock right by me. Even these small ones have been given so much care. I picked it up, and dropped it. Even that simple action had so much variance, the physics gorgeous and efficient, not a drop of lag even with all the Unversed. The object itself even broke off into tiny pieces that remained. I could pick those up too. I could even squeeze them and break them into smaller stuff. Sometimes even into a powder.

What insanity…! This system must be the closest thing to the real world, it has to be! I don’t think I could ever live in the real world, this place was making me cry at everything my head can barely take it. When my mouth gets working I have so much to ask and tell Vanitas this is amazing!

I feel a collison:True to my left and I jolt a tiny bit cause the black and pink bunny was suddenly right there. “Ahhh you’re so cute!” It just looked at me funny. Then to my right another collison, there was the plant bunny. From my shoulder was some kind of cool bat guy and the other soon a bird. The Unversed guys had a lot of time to see me, unlike me to them, are they here to check me out? I am much more exuberant now, I guess!

The whole time I was super careful, but I couldn't hide my glee. Who wouldn’t, being surrounded by possible new friends? This is one of the best days I've ever had! I can’t wait for Vanitas to wake up again!

I don’t think I could ever go home again.

Not after this.

Chapter Text

- Day 72 - 

The middle cavern is alive with a lot of variety today. The clump of person in the center waves from the bottom of a veritable smorgasbord of Unversed. Even things like Triple Wreckers and Red-Hots wait at the very edge of the border to see into the cave. What? It’s just the doll. What’s the appeal?

Said ‘not-quite-a doll’ looks at me expectantly. I don’t owe it anything, it owes me. “Going to work.” I mutter. Words like a sandstorm attempting to talk are all I hear as I leave the cave.

Vexen gives a brief nod just before the meeting begins. Currently they are mad at Sora’s lack of progress because he keeps… stealing caviar and wasting eggs at Twilight Town with a rat? When did the meetings get so coded? I can’t understand any of it. Too much French. Larxene brings food and isn’t reprimanded for some reason.

The meeting over, Saix doles out missions, and I'm sent on one to a world I hadn't seen in a long time; The Enchanted Dominion.

“Keep your eyes peeled for the Witch Maleficent while you kill 15 Soldier heartless.”

Actual baby mission but I'm dying for the change in scenery. Plus, it’s a world with not to messed up a time scale to the Keyblade Graveyard. 

Getting out of the office and slaughtering monsters in the woods… embarrassingly refreshing. I could feel my muscles start to burn over time. When did I get so Ventus-like? But it feels good to rip something to shreds and not feel an ounce of pain back from it. I had been doing that a bit during Monstropolis, but where had my relief from the violence go? Had the container's slime taken it away from me?

The Graveyard mission is the same old same old, but I'm genuinely shocked how much time I saved today, finishing at nearly noon on the dot. Monstropolis stole so much time from me! At the rate I'm going, the master and his gang are going to be so pissed at me for my efficiency. 

Feels… well. Better than slamming my head against a rock.

It was strange to visit the mess hall and be given a lunch. When was the last time I ever had lunch…? My name might have still been Ventus.

I entered the cave just as I polished off my meal. There no longer were a ton of Unversed around, but the lazy lump had yet to move an inch. Instead, as soon as it heard and saw me raised an arm and attempted a wave. 

This… might actually work. They pathetically pull upwards to try and sit up. Yeah… This may not be the ideal I had imagined but it can’t run. Doesn't seem to want to.

When I finally have a Scrapper help it up onto a rock, it doesn’t break eye contact. A joyful dumb look on its face.

…

What on earth does he even have to say to it- “So, even without your eyes you felt a lot of things right? Can you tell the things you touched to sight now?” What a dumb question. Didn’t even word it clear enough.

The amalgam, brought up a hand to its… ‘chin’ and thought hard before shrugging. But they were more at attention.

“Name some of my Unversed you know you’ve touched.”

“Ffffwwwwlld. Chhiiiiree rea read dears. h h h ari reszers…” counting them wobbly off its fingers.

“Ok I…might have heard Flood in there?” A vigorous nod so sharp it nearly rattled it to the floor had I not caught it, “Stop that. Can you identify which one of these is a Flood?” I snap and draw out more Unversed to challenge it.

It looks around, hands making a motion like it held the shape of the Flood's snoot. Before carefully pointing at a Thornbite. How disappointing. “Incorrect.” A handful of Flood race up, “These are Flood. That other one was a Thornbite.”

It gasped in literal awe as it collapsed off the rock towards a Flood. Looking all around it to get a view. The Flood basking in the attention did dumb little poses and even let the disgusting sticky hand of the momentary mimic touch it. I expected it to crush or hurt, rip off their antenna or something. But it was gentle.

Did it recognize the weakness of the Flood? But did it really think they were that fragile? I ought to have them smack it for that, let ‘em know who’s the true bottom of the barrel here.

We did this little test a few more times, but it hadn’t made a single correct assessment outside of the Red-Hot Chili and Blue Sea-Salt. Probably because the names are too literal.

It treated them all like they were made of glass.

Did It really think of me as that weak?! These abominations don't deserve that sort of treatment, pity’s too good for them! My anger brewed up till I could contain it no longer and unleashed it all as Unversed.

The slobbery punk clapped poorly, all excited, before vomiting another multi-colored glob monster; this time another dog, but far less creepy and wearing a little crown. “Can you not?!” The cave was now up to three, the other dog making a home among the Flood and the Heartless was trying the same with the Sea-Salt. How many could it make? Were these their own Unversed?

It laughed in lieu of an answer. Grabbing onto my coat sleeve. It better not make any more blonde dogs, the one in here gives me the creeps. This new dog looked at me before yelping a soft, “Bark Bark!” In its gross little human voice. Ran in a small circle, before racing off into the gloom…

Stupid dog better not get anywhere near me again or I’ll kill it. 

The conversation ended early today. I had to go to that meeting (Sora’s making more gummi ships whhhhoooaaa so shocking) and Vexen’s lab, who didn’t send me away and yakked my ear off about nothing. I was too tired and felt like just sleeping when I got back.

So I did. 

-Day 73-

Extra sleep was a terrible idea, when I stumbled out, I swore the immobile imp was rolled over. I think it was muttering to a Flood. The strange blonde dog stared at me from high… Its gaze familiar. Why? What hideous creature is this dog reminding me of?

Sora’s progress today was being stuck in a land of fairytales with I think his name is Marluxia. Sucks to be him. These meetings are the biggest soul sucking drag on this side of the void… Out of the corner of my eye, I see that newer girl. I hate looking at her, sometimes in the corner of my eye I think I see Ventus, but then I focus on her and she’s just another blank but upright doll. Why does she get to work right away and not mine? Today she’s… looking like catboy Sora? What the hell….? Has she always been a catboy… girl? Ignore her. She’s nothing.

My mission was to stalk a strange fat cat man in the town near Thebes. Why is my life suddenly plagued by cats? I thought it’d take as long as my missions used to but once again, I got back to the Graveyard early. Another chance at lunch. Is this going to be a constant thing?

Before going to my valley, I returned to the cave. Yeah, I must have imagined it. The mumbling mimic was on its back like always and gave a wave, “hhhhhhhhhheheo!”

For a moment a truly ludicrous idea crossed my mind; bring it with me. What would that accomplish? Several hundred more ugly dog things for every handful of Unversed? No thanks.

The wimpy wobbler holds up an Archraven, with a funky grin. “How’d you manage that? That’s an Archraven. They don’t like being held.” After all, they fly and don’t have proper feet. 

Their funky grin got funkier, and brought their hand to their mouth before letting loose a whistle. Archravens poked their heads out of the nests at the top of the cave, before one swooped down and parked on the outstretched hand of a very pleased mimic.

I just nodded. I hate it when people control my Unversed. But I guess that was more…asking? In a way. The Archraven didn’t have to, it just did so. It’s not hurting either of the birds. Just sort of lifting them up and down and giggling like the easily amused freak that it is. I guess it could be their treat for remembering that whistle.

“Well. I’ve got to get back to work.” Something about all these normal person phrases leaves a weird taste in my mouth. The broken dummy held up an armful of birds and possibly desecrated the words ‘byebye’ as I left.

As I make Unversed, I have a glut of excess Triple Wreckers. What am I confused about? Sure, it’s weird and I don't know what I want to do with them but it hardly needs to bleed out of me into piles upon piles of totems. There’s so many they start getting mixed up and stacking on top of each other. Sextuple Wrecker is just weird and a Nonuple Wrecker is just excessive.

Mission complete once again stupidly early. I return to Saix who looks confused, “You’re being irresponsible right? You can’t be doing these missions that quickly.”

“I think we're all twisted from Monstropolis hours.” Asshole.

“I might have to assign you three missions a day if this keeps up.”

I shrug, whatever. More excuses to murder things and get out of the desert. 

Dinner was the weird white cubes, but I had no interest. I ate one or two before my stomach, still full of lunch just gurgled unpleasantly. So, I took them to the cave and dropped the plate in the demented doll’s hands, “All yours.”

…Did it need to eat? I haven't fed it once. 

I don’t think so. It didn’t seem to understand what it was, and just seemed amused at the squishiness of the cubes. As I rambled on about nothing in particular it would sometimes take pauses to feed an Unversed a block. For all its shortcomings it’s really good at tossing things, expertly nailing a cube right into the mouth of an Axe Flapper perched high into the roof.

When a Crono Twister finally floated down for the night, the noodly listener seemingly pouted knowing the day was over. But then got excited, “Shhhhhhoeeee shoppe Bbbbbanni!”

I don't understand but a bunch of Flood and Hareraisers arrive telling me they ‘worked very hard on this!’ What? What were they dawdling around for now?

Sitting up a bit higher, waving its arms, “Bbbbaaannni! Baaaavni! Oooolok.” The mess flopped up and over and up and over again. “Tehhhada!” Waving its arms around. It managed to roll over using its shoulders, somehow.

This is… not what I fucking wanted. It can move but can’t talk?! What’s the point of that? I just stare and then pivot to my room, feeling the sadness and confusion from them as I do.

I drop on to the ground, frustrated. I try to fall asleep.

- Day 74 - 

Opening my eyes was a weirdly tall order that morning. Did I have too much sleep again? I feel weird…Sluggish. But not…sickly. Or tried really. I just felt… warm. 

I looked around, there weren't Red-Hots or anything to make heat. I still only had my coat and splotchy rug. No Omprisoners. No Wreckers.

I nearly fell asleep again, I kept feeling something. What is that? It’s so light I can't make it out. Something was gliding from the top of my down my back…was… was this Ventus!?  Was he tormenting me with his stupid memories again!? Always mocking me, I’ll fucking kill you! I-!

In a startling moment of clarity I realized I was feeling what a Flood was feeling.

Kicking aside my door into the center room I saw them, that Liquifying Lout, with its strange sticky hands petting said Flood.

It was so close it was drowning out all the other Flood reports, that disgraceful creature, lounging on their lap the absolutely picture of comfort. Cradled like the most pampered poodle.

“What are you stupid?!” I screamed, grabbing the Flood and tossing it hard enough at the wall it splattered and died, flinching as the pain was received, “Don’t you dare pet my Unversed!! Ever!” From my actions, Hot-pots of rage, Flood of pain and… and Yellow Mustards of jealousy were born.

I'm not jealous?! Why would I feel jealous about petting a gross disgusting Flood? I can do that whenever I want! Which I never will, filth like the Unversed deserve nothing better than death.

I kick the doll. Felt pretty good. And head out for the day.

I decided to ignore them for two whole days. Clearly, it’s going to just get up and be gone one day soon ungrateful dirtbag, and I can't wait.

- Day 75- 

Nothing to note. Ignored them. They deserve it. When are they leaving? 

- Day 76 - 

I kicked the doll again. Felt weird. I went back to ignoring them.

- Day 77 -

I wake up to a wall of Flood blocking the door. Mandrake’s pushing me out of my room and more into the center room. The doll sitting up in the middle of the room looking right at me. Expression hard to pin.

Traitorous rats. “What the hell do you want?!”

It sits up a little taller, in short clear snippets, “I.        Ham.     So-rr-i.       I    ahm   sorri.”

…What?

I must have woken into a strange nightmare again. I know it didn’t just apologize to me. I abandoned it for two days it should be pissed. No one has ever apologized to me for anything and meant it. Its feelings are clear and open. What. This is a weird nightmare. Is it going to kill itself again?

The doll looks at me funny, “Whee…oak? O-key?”

A Chono Twister’s eyes drills a hole in the back of my head. And I finally realize that I'm not asleep this time, traitorous Unversed are real and the doll is… 

“...I’ll talk to you at lunch.” I mutter. 

The doll whooped in victory, launching its arms into the air and falling over spectacularly. Yeah… Yeah that’s…alright.

Today's meeting was unnaturally funny. The old master ranting at the top of his lungs, “Synthesis?! REALly?! Synthesis?! That imbecile?! He's wasting our precious time crafting synthesis items?! I thought he failed high school.”

Vexen trying to hide the amusement in his voice, “Uh, sir he never entered high school-”

“How in the name of all that is holy can a teenage boy with no high school algebra figure out something like synthesis? Is he having the moogles do it for him?”

“I mean it seems like they're helping but from the footage you can see he is currently at the table measuring.” said the gambler, “He really is synthesizing.” He too seemed amused at the Master’s tantrum.

“What a pathetic loser. Only the saddest lifeless losers did synthesis. I bet he’s mass-producing elixirs like the little weakling he is.” Grumbled the old man. His younger on the rock looked just as annoyed. 

Sora isn’t by the way. Sora had been making elixirs using the weird new Unversed cores, the sinister series, and hasn't hassled nearly enough Unversed to make more than a few. I still have no idea why the Unversed have different cores. I had been so mad at Vexen at the time I didn't even get a guess to the cause. 

When the meeting concluded, Saix briefly walked past me climbing down my pillar, “Please stand at the back of the line today.”

I just turn to look at him and shrug. Making sure to be last. Not that it really matters but what gives?

“Your mission today will be merely doing a quick check up on this world.” The normally very judgmental looking man took a sigh that looked nearly apologetic, “It’s a world called Wonderland. And it is anything but wonderful.”

Pfft. I've been to Disney Town. After that rancid music having eyesore nothing could hold a candle. What's the worst it could be?

I wave to Vanitas as he heads out for the day. I think my words finally made it to him, what a relief! I miss talking to him. I’m getting better but I'll be honest, my progress has been really slow. At least Mr. Rabbit Plant had been there to coach my pronunciation, or that would have super gone nowhere.

It’s just so weird to me. Movements I've done a million times just don’t play nice with my new body. It keeps changing things and I can never get a handle on it for more than a few minutes at a time. I tried breakpointing but those just moved in weird places too. But I've got tricks now! The Unversed have been really helping me. I don’t even think they always mean to, it’s hard to figure them out ‘cause they don’t speak or have more than one face. It feels bad, they all look so mad! I misunderstood that Flood so badly. I didn’t realize I had been hurting it! I feel absolutely terrible about it; no wonder Vanitas was so mad at me.

Well, no more waiting around! I start the morning practicing with what I know; a little bit of magic, the wriggling of my fingers, and rolling over. Then once I'm confident I get near the rock and try lifting myself up. An issue I never thought I'd have is power. Sometimes I'll put way too much in it and toss myself up funny, or others I won't put nearly enough in and get stuck or barely move. It’s hard to get the balance right! Then sometimes my legs change instructions and I fall anyway. But I'm getting faster. Hopefully soon I can show him and help out!

I totally lost track of time and nearly leap out of my skin when- “THAT SUCKED I HATED IT I'M NEVER GOING BACK THERE! THAT WORLD CAN GO TO HELL!!” Vanitas screaming at the top of his lungs marched into the cave. Scared me real good! I dropped in fear and thankfully my head rolled in just the right way to look at him. Boy he’s sure mad! I waved, and attempted to say “What world you visit?”

“Yeah yeah; get over here.” Grabbing my leg and dragging me, he eventually dropped and settled on lying arms crossed behind his head on my stomach. “That world sucked.” Turning to me, “You magic prone?”

Uhhh no? Maybe? I shrug. He looks back up, grumbling “That world was like, the stupidest shit ever. I open a door, and it turns out it's 6 doors, I finally get past the door, and would you believe it; it was the only normal sized room in the entire place! Everything else was tiny!”

A world where he’s a giant and everyone tiny? That sounds so cool!

He brought up an arm and aggravatedly shook it, “It was NOT cool! It was annoying! I had to send in Unversed of unusually small size to get my job done. Then it had the audacity to have a seeeeemingly normal sized room but noooooo! Everything was the wrong proportions to be used comfortably, the chairs were tiny, the oven was huge, the doorknob sassed me, what kind of words do door knobs sass you?! That's just messed up.”

Doors with sass? I know a world like that.

Wait wait, I really know a world like that! Although I was small for the whole time, I poked him till he turned to look at me where I mimed a table, and drinking a bottle on it.

“Like hell am I drinking some random liquid left out in the middle of a godforsaken hell dimension.” He rubbed the side of his helmet, groaning, “That room gave me such a headache! My Unversed would go through one entrance and then somehow find themselves back in the room on the wrong wall. It was more nauseating than getting caught in a Zero Gravira.”

Eventually put his arm over the part of his helmet I guess his eyes would be at, “I gotta get back out there.” He stood up sighing and leaving. I wish he’d say goodbye more.

Hmmm… now that I'm a bit more mobile maybe I can do something nice for him? He’s letting me stay here and get better after all. Looking around I suddenly had a great idea! But can I do it?

I rolled over. And again. And again, until I made it to the corner of the room. 

Haha! Ahahahahaha!! Vanitas is going to love it!

Another pointless day of Unversed creation. Is this my life now, just making them? Not even using them? Just… Making? Are we going to use them in a big fight later? But if that’s the case why bother with all the junky ones in Monstropolis? If a weakling like Ventus could kill all of them then what’s the point of using them over the Dusk things?

Goddamn it, how did I lose to him?!

Not even the sounds of Xehanort whining like a 5-year-old could soothe it. Sora was still synthesizing. How much is there to make?

Headache still at full tilt, I returned to my cave. Past the trash hall, past the currently open door and unactivated barrier and into… my feet stop at the threshold.

For a moment I could only blink and stare. This was not the central cavern. Then I realized it was, just… redecorated. Someone has been here but… no there hasn’t been any corridors, the scent of darkness is far too faint.

The stones in the room had been moved- no, organized. Starting from the center in a spiral pattern from the smallest pebbles, gently growing larger and larger until they reached the large rocks that bordered the walls and the boulders that couldn’t be moved. Even the stalagmites had been moved and joined in near the edges of the walls.

What could-? What the hell? Who the hell did this?! A very bored Pack of Unversed? But why the pattern? Why now? How did they move the embedded piles of sediment??

Wait did the maligned mess do this?

For some asinine reason, I had to work up the nerve to step onto the rocks. It's not likely that it could be a trap or anything. But it was all kind of… thoughtfully arranged. It was a bit concerning. That doll barely had enough skill at uselessly tossing itself around. How did it make this?

Stepping into the center I looked around and realized.

The doll isn’t here.

Flood immediately slipped out of me to start looking around and they found it. In an about waist high alcove was the fragile fellow, crammed and carefully arranging the rocks in the back there as well. Losing focus and patting the Flood that found it, before suddenly pulling its hand back like it was burnt. 

I crouched down and looked at it, right in its currently froggy little eyes, “I see you’ve been real busy screwing up the place.”

It babbled and brought a fist to my face. Considering it wasn’t too hard and they were only feeling glad, that probably wasn’t supposed to be a punch but I still punched it back. It scrambled out of the hole and reached up to grab my sleeves like they tended to do. Still happy.

Weirdo.

As I dragged them to the center, I realized they had managed to pack the rocks hard enough into the dirt that they couldn’t causally be kicked about. How the hell did they manage that?

Dropping them down they started talking their broken English at me again. Not understanding a word, I grabbed a Flood and forced it to give me its memories. After I had left, the redecorating fiend practiced rolling around a bit, before actively going about its strange task lifting and tossing rocks around. Organizing their sizes and then meticulously placing them. When an area got filled, they used some sort of gravity spell to force the rocks to get impacted into the dirt.

The Flood was mesmerized and I nearly found myself as well watching the strange motions of the spindly doll place and set and place and set. This particular Flood also participated in the cleanup, when it was clear that it had gotten its grime and hair all over the place. And if they happened to have kicked a few rocks into place for it, all the better right?

Away from the memory and looking around a little bit more I could see the Unversed had been using a lot of that spare hair and thread the string bean made for their nests. I could see them bartering with each other for specific colors of hair. No wonder they didn’t stop him, they weren’t going to stop the maniac from a task that got them more material. Sighing, I scratched the back of my head. Great, I can’t leave the doll alone in here anymore.

Any day now that thing really will stand up and run out. Or Worse, get into the entryway filled with trash and sort that. The Unversed certainly didn’t dissuade them from trashing my living room with spirals. Many of those Unversed crouched in the rafters, staring, but also mixed in with the strange little dogs they for some fuckoff reason treated as part of their own. They let this thing get away with too much.

But if I can't rely on my Unversed to keep them still, what can I do?

I can’t just always keep my eye focused through the Unversed, maybe I can get away with that at meetings but not when I’m fighting or on the job.

There was always my old plan. I commanded a Flood to bring me a knife. It brought one I knew belonged to that nasty lady and had killed plenty of Unversed, still plenty sharp. I dragged the overly excited doll closer and turned them over onto their stomach.

The doll canceled its bubbling, and then patted my shoulder to get my attention. With a big stupid grin, and using my shoulder as a balance it mangled its way up and onto its feet. Beaming when it let my shoulder go and didn’t fall over. “Ttteheee daaaaaaa!”

…I could just leave them in a pit. But where am I going to get a pit at this hour?

It took a breath, “Weh     ih     git    bitr    n hep  wif    johb.” It’s joy grew even more, and its arms bounced in anticipatory happiness, “N   whe git bitr I kin hel fit hurhurts wif u n we  cou-!” It started picking up speed and I couldn’t keep up. 

It’s… trying. That shouldn’t matter but… it is getting as it would say, ‘bitr.’ Maybe better control of its body will one day give it control over its mouth?

I can’t understand the creature, not even a little, but I find myself nodding periodically as if I can. Why? It encourages the thing to keep telling me some unintelligible story, completely with strange hand movements and sound effects all the while I’m being assaulted by a wall of constant buzzing joy.

It was… novel. I guess.

Eventually its legs slipped out from under it, face planting into the floor. That seemed like a good enough stopping point to me. For some inexplicable reason I helped it roll back over, before going to my room for the night. Still at a loss for what to do.

Under a rock I hide the knife. Just in case. I’ll keep thinking of something else.

Chapter Text

-Day 78 -

The inhuman creature moved more rocks in the night; two of the rocks I normally propped them up against, with a weird flat one between them. Is this supposed to be a table and chairs? Xehanort’s not going to tolerate that. “Hey! No more moving rocks.” I want to scold more but I have a meeting to attend.

I arrived at the pillars, only to find Saix standing there alone. For months we’ve had meetings and for weeks now I've been arriving on foot to see everyone standing atop. Seeing it all empty was nerve racking. Did I miss the meeting?

“Ah Vanitas. Your missions." Saix started, Handing me the papers. Did he really wait for me here?

I looked around just to be sure, “What happened to the meeting?”

“Xehanort canceled it after finding out Sora has still not stopped.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Small mercies.”

I looked at my missions, strangely one of them had that other guy's name, dated nearly two months back. “Who the hell is Demyx and why aren’t they doing their missions?”

“An idiot who hasn’t since before even the old Organization 13.” said passionlessly but emotionally he felt utter exhaustion and rage towards that idiot.

“What does that mean?” How? Xehanort hates incompetence.

“Oh, yes you weren’t there were you. It’s a long and frankly unnecessary story.” Under that bland statement was just rage and confusion. He really had no idea.

Then a thought crossed my head, it might be a stupid idea, but I'm out of options. “Is he still around? That Demyx guy? I could actually use an idiot who's not planning on going anywhere.'' Keeping my squirrely squatter in the Organization's space was stupid as all hell really but those tunnels are massive and I've never run into anyone once during my times walking the halls. Maybe this Demyx hasn’t either.

Plus, maybe this Demyx’s power of staying out of Xehanort’s range will rub off on the dumb doll.

Saix raised a brow, “I guess you have time before you have to start your mission. He will likely still be in his room or in the break room. You will hear his music before anything else.”

“Doesn’t do missions and doesn’t even hide? Is he stupid?” I turn to walk away.

“Why do you need someone to stay here?” Honest confusion.

“None of your business.” And I walked away.

So, I’m just in the mess hall, minding my own business, playing my sitar and trying hard not to think about Vexen’s crazy plans, when all of a sudden crashing through the doors comes in that Vanities guy dragging in someone by the hood of their coat, jabbing his finger at me, “YOU.”

I freak out of course, as he gets closer and drops the body in front of me, “W-what do you want dude?” I am NOT up to disposing corpses! Nope nope you can’t make me! Not after last time!

“See this?” Pointing to the thankfully alive person shivering on the ground, “Keep an eye on it until I get back.”

Huh!? He wants me to play babysitter? No way! I take a look, trying to figure out who or what it is and all I can see is their coat and shoes are all trashed and their bleeding on the ground, “Who Is it supposed to be-?!”

“Mine.” That explained NOTHING, “And if it’s in somehow worse condition you’ll be the one squirming on the ground.” Ohh man!! Guy’s already creepy enough without a face and moving like a robot, now he’s threatening me??

“Okay, okay!” Giving up already and lifting my hands in surrender, “I’ll take care of them; no need to get violent.”

Without another word Vanities turned away and hot footed it out of there. Man, I've made lots of mistakes and I've never been punished like that guy. Xehanort must have hated him especially for something.

When I looked back down, I jumped, the person in the hood was sitting up and looking at me. Who is this? They’re short, so… maybe Riku? Or Xion? Riku wouldn’t settle for being manhandled like that, but for as quiet as Xion is I don't get the vibe that she’d put up with it either.

Their shoes are full of holes, full of string(?), and caked with… ew is that blood?! But those are the ‘guy shoes’ so a guy? Maybe?

“Uh… hmmm, uh Hey there little dude!” I offer them my hand, “The name’s Demyx! The Melodious Nocturne.” I put on my most winning smile.

Up their arm went, then to the side strangely before getting back on target and shaking my hand. Leaving a gross nasty sludge on my hand…ew ew ew! What is this?! I'm so glad I can control water, just a few notes later and I can wash it off but ewwww! What is this thing?!

“Er, uh… heheh… uh, what’s your name little dude?”

The sound that exited their mouth shouldn’t be made by anything claiming to be human. Freaky little dude. That will just have to do.

“Cooool. Uh…” Demyx, my man, don’t over complicate this! “Uh, do you like music? I’m a musician.” And I played a little ditty.

The freaky little dude bobbed in time, and seemed to enjoy it. Sweet. Not everyone can appreciate a man’s hard work. This will be a cakewalk! So, I just start playing and get lost in my music just like any other day…

…

*BANG CRASH*

My jam session was ruined, and I looked up to see it had been a few hours and I guess the freaky little dude had started wandering around at some point.

It wasn’t hard to figure out its path, footprints, handprints, and weird piles of string were all over the floor and a few tables. They didn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason to them. It certainly hadn’t been upright and walking, more like crawling around like a freaky alien or something.

Little dude had managed to get all the way to the other side of the room, where a few shelves with a lot of dry and canned goods were standing and had somehow managed to knock one over. I’m a bit terrified. Those are like… stupid heavy.

In the center they sat, happily picking up cans, looking at them, before stacking them. By size and color. Guy was so bored he’s now stacking cans? Man, this sucks.

I poked my head in the kitchen, a Dusk readied a spoon to smack me away but I lifted up my hands, “Wait wait wait! The little guy out here knocked over the shelf!” The dusk looked to confirm, deflated a bit, before them and a few more from the kitchen headed out to fix it.

Another of course still hit me with a spoon out of there. Still a bit before lunch time.

This is a drag, what am I going to do?! I can’t keep an eye on this weird thing! It’s icky…!

Like a lightbulb over my head, I had a great idea! Going over to the little buddy, “Hey I wanna show you a better room over there. Wanna go see?”

They turn and nod, crawling out of the mess like I was watching a backwards slow-motion dodge roll that ended with them on their face outside the shelf.

“Uh, mind if I carry you?” It lifted up its hands. I think that's yes? They didn't bite me or wriggle when I picked them up, so it must be fine.

Carrying someone in the hallways wasn’t exactly a normal thing for me, and frankly I'm just glad no one saw me as I approached my new favorite room, “Here ya go little buddy! This here’s the broom closet!”

It looked around and cooed in curiosity. I placed it carefully on the floor, “Oh, hay I gotta go check on something I'll be right back, ok? Stay here.” And I closed the door and locked it.

Ha! Perfect! Free at last! I can do whatever I want now! I just gotta come back an hour before Vanitiiites shows back up and everything will be fine. 

Yep, another win for the D man.

Why the hell are bloody footsteps leading into Xehanort’s personal library? This door’s supposed to be locked at all times, and who’d be stupid enough to go in there?

Looking through the window, I got my answer. Vanitas’s strange little goblin must have gotten out. It’s organizing the books by color. It’s kinda cool looking, but Xehanort’ll be pissy about it.

Well time to put them back in their cage.

I set my alarm a little early, two hours before the meeting. Just in case. I’ll probably have to do something to keep them from being mad about the whole closet thing and telling Vanititits.

Whistling through the hall, I was in a good mood, my plan was flawless.

In unusual news I saw Xigbar walking in the halls, I gave him a nod, he gave one back, but as we passed by, he turned around to face me, “Where are you going in such a good mood?”

“Broom closet. That Vanny guy made me look after something and I locked it in there.”

Xigbar blinked, “As if!” And started following after, “What thing would that brat make you look after?”

“I dunno. Some weird bloody guy in a coat.”

“Bloody?” He snorts. “And you didn’t take them to the infirmary?”

Oh shoot, that would have been a better place, “If he makes me do it again, I'll put them there.” Xigbar was looking at the floor all weird. 

I opened the door, “Yo! Sorry, that took me so long I had…. I had too…” I looked to my left. I looked to my right. I looked all around at the many, many many many handprints everywhere. 

I saw them leading into the vents.

“ITS GONE!!” I'M GOING TO DIE, “XIGBAR it’s gone!! It was in here; the door was locked and everything!!”

Xigbar looked up, “Oh hm? Missing, eh? Any idea where it went?”

I look at the damage, and there is only one place, “Oh my gosh Xigbar I think it’s in the vents?! What do we do?!”

“Heh. Gotta runner, eh?” He chuckled summoning his twin guns, “My expertise.” Oh no. Oh no this is going to be a huge problem isn't it…?

–

After a long day of paperwork, I retreated to the silence of my room to have a small cup of tea. I understand to some extent having a paper trail, but do people really need individualized missions if they are the same every day?

Axel’s probably out there, training his lackluster keyblade skills without a drop of paperwork anywhere in sight. If I had the capacity, I'd almost envy him.

Of course, my day is still ruined. Xigbar kicked in my door, “IT’S IN THE WALLS!!” Shooting all the vents that lead into my room.

“Xigbar.” Holding back my berserker's rage, with trained precision calmness, “What are you doing?”

Demyx suddenly rushes in, and looks down the broken vents, “Not here either!!” Whining pathetically, “Oh man, Vanities is going to kill me!!”

“Fear not, we still have a chance!!” Xigbar laughed before running out, the sound of firing guns and probably destroyed vents hovering in the air.

“Sorry Saix got to go!! Oh, he is going to kill me!!” Demyx chased after.

Vanities? Does he mean Vanitas? 

My tea ruined all the way down to the shattered teacup, I stood and sigh. Always more work to be done.

Out into the hallway I see vents all over, shot and destroyed. A few of our limited Dusks attempted to sweep up the carnage. 

One of them was on a specific trail of…hair on the floor.

What are these imbeciles up to? I better pay Vanitas a quick visit. 

Portaling to the entrance of his cave, I looked around warily. I had never been here before. There were Unversed all over, peeking out from every which way and the whole area felt alive with staring eyes. Dreadful.

The front of the cave had been used as a dump site… correction it was still being used as a dump site given the fresh burning junk and piles of metal. Why on earth was he living here? There were plenty of bedrooms in the main base. Xehanort said something about stoking Vanitas’s hatred, but this is ridiculous.

A strange rather quaint rustic white country door was propped against the entrance to the next area of the cave. As it had no door frame, it just lay there. Some semblance of normality?

Carefully setting it aside the eyes were far worse, thousands of red eyes glow in the dark holes in the walls. I didn’t bring a flashlight, but at least the doorway provided enough to see the majority of the room. The rocks in this cave were arranged very deliberately and carefully into a very appealing gradient of size smallest in the center, larger on the edges, with smaller ones to account for doors and passages. If I had a heart, it would find this rather charming.

Sitting in the center however, was someone small in an organization coat. Pouting. Arms crossed, sitting on outstretched legs…and a rather large rock sitting on their coat tails. Seemingly trapped.

Vanitas? No certainly not, he wouldn't be trapped by something like that. They’re also much too small for him. …And he’s still off on his mission. Who could this even be?

They notice me, and with weak jerky movements, do a soft silly wave at me. That strange replica I saw at Vexen’s? I squatted down to meet them at about eye level, “Are you…the one Vanitas left with Demyx?” A leap, yes, but perhaps…

It nodded. Seems to be nonverbal. Since they were complying with my questions, I lifted the rock off their coat. I even found the spot it had clearly been taken from and put it back. The broken replica made some sickly giggles, clearly surprised at my action.

A gross little thing. Why was it mangled like this? Whatever. “Who brought you here? If you don’t know a name, just try to point out a feature.”

It tiled its head, and with stuttery movements, seemed to cover one eye, and did little finger guns with the other.

That prick.

The berserker burned beneath my skin. But I held back, this was not the source of the rage.

I make my leave, yet another mess to clean, and yet another thankless job.

“Th-thbnak eww!”

…

A single thanked job.

Why is it called Land of dragons? More like Land of Single Lizard. What a rip off. Not even ending early enough for lunch. At least the views from the mountain were interesting. 

Ruining them of course, was a dark corridor, stepping out an unexpected Saix looking rather ruffled, nearly slipping in the snow, “Vanitas. Head back to base this instant. Demyx and Xigbar are making a mess.”

“A mess?” You went out of your way to get me…for a mess?

“Xigbar's shooting into the vents trying to help Demyx locate your broken replica-”

“THEY’RE WHAT?!” Who the hell do they think they are trying to break my property?! I charge into Saix’s corridor, “Where the hell are they? What the hell is my handicapped floor mat doing in the vents?!”

Saix followed, his face looked a bit weird at my choice of random name, “You should know that the broken replica is back in your cave.”

Finally entering into the bland hallways, smoking from fresh bullet holes in the walls, “Wait you're telling me the mumbler is just back at my cave?”

“Xigbar’s just doing this because he can.” Saix pitched his brow, exasperated “I will tell you everything and give you a reward if you stop those two imbeciles.”

With but a quick mental call several Unversed hiding in the corners let me know where they are, “Corridor me to the Lab.”

“You're free to use portals, I authorize them for this official mission.” Fuck yeah!

Corridoring over and rushing out of the room, ignoring Vexen’s confused, “Vanitas what are you doing?” I waited for them in the middle of the hall.

Braig- or I guess Xigbar now rounds the corner and actually slips from startlement, slipping on the floor and up and on to the roof, the gravity defying dipshit, “Oh Vanitas. Howdy.”

Demyx makes the turned and shrieks, “Ah uh, Hay Vantiais-”

I point at Xigbar, “You. Cut it out. Go to the shooting range or better yet Monstropolis if you want to fire guns indoors.” Pointing to Demyx, “What the hell did I tell you to do?”

“...K….Keep an eye on….that… the little dude.”

“And where are they?”

Xigbar tried to keep it casual. “We’re looking for it-”

“Oh, I already know where it is, and who put them there.” He can't seem me glare through my helmet but he tsks, knowing that he can’t get away with it anymore, “You both knock it the fuck out or I will knock you both out.”

Snorting Xigbar steps up, “As if, you really think you’re strong enough to-”

“HEY Braig! Did you know that these are in the middle of caves that my Unversed live in?” I snap my fingers. Panels form all over the walls and floors slide away and tons of red eyes and sharp limbs poke out and glare at the duo, “I'm on home field advantage. I’ve got the numbers. There are even enough dead keys in those caves to shred you two non-keyblade wielders to mincemeat. Now, I told you both, to stop it.”

They both looked at me a bit perturbed, and Xigbar summoned his guns away, “Welp, see ya.” He portals away. Demyx starts running.

I snort, and order a group of Bruisers and Scrappers to help the silver Dusk things repair the place. Corridoring back to Saix, already arranging things with multiple forms of Unversed to grab the correct materials, he slides me three pieces of paper, “Tell no one, but give me this on a day to skip your off-world missions. Consider it like getting those half days you missed out on.”

I take them, but with some trepidation. What is Saix getting from this? These must be some kind of trick.

My suspicion must have been obvious because he added on, “...I know that Xehanort has not been fair to you in the past. But I am a man of my word. Xehanort’s already going to be furious but with your help and these Unversed we can mitigate it some.”

“Why me anyways? Aren't there usually a lot of people here before me?”

“Xemnas is used to this behavior from Xigbar as they are both used to having 800 more Dusks at any given moment. Young Xehanort isn't back yet and would likely have just shifted it to me and…” He pauses to look at something behind me. I look through an Unversed behind Saix to see Ansem. As per the usual, he’s not wearing his mandated coat. Asshole.

He stepped into the room, “I thought their hunt was amusing. This base is so drab.”

Ansem then started flying and made a corridor on the roof.

“And that.” Saix muttered, “You’d best leave. Before more trouble arrives.” 

“Yeah… The meeting will be happening soon.”

“It’s in two hours.”

“The base is four miles away from the pillars. Ever scaled a desert with massive canyons on foot before?”

“I see. Good work today, you get an S rank.”

It was the best meeting ever. Totally worth every hour wasted walking to it.

The master, pointing accusingly, “Which one of you did it?!”

“Xigbar!” Shouts Demyx.

“Xigbar!!” Shouts Riku.

Luxord helpfully tosses him under the bus, “Xigbar is the only one with guns.”

“AS IF!” he flounders, “Demyx asked me to help-”

Saix. “You tricked him as an excuse to shoot things! Do you have any idea of the cost of the damages?”

“YOU NEARLY DESTROYED MY LAB!!” screech's Vexen.

A knife lands very close to his foot, “YOU DESTROYED MY ROOM!!!!” Larxene all but roars.

It feels nice to see someone else get ganged up on. 

However once Xigbar’s punishment was decided upon, a three-day suspension, Saix spoke up again, “Also I would like to mention the Unversed are a fantastic asset in the repair of our base.” SHUT UP I NEARLY GOT OUT OF THIS SCOTT FREE!

Xehanort sneered, “I suppose a reward is in order… tomorrow no one is allowed to insult the Unversed while they work.”

I was expecting a punishment. I’ll take that. 

I brought dinner all the way to the cave for once. Might as well try out my new table while I have the chance. The lethargic lunatic was actually able to crawl up to the other side as I set it up.

“So. Demyx was a total failure huh?” It nodded vigorously. I took a bite. It was a horrid dry sandwich day. I set it down, “Did you meet anyone else?” When. When will I learn that it can’t speak!

It nodded, held up three fingers. With very clear motions for it did an X across his face, covered an eye and with the other hand made a gun, and then a haughty pose with his chest puffed out.

“Okay so, Saix, Bri- I mean Xigbar and… I have no idea.” They unzipped their coat some, I need to get the Unversed back on getting rid of all that excess thread, then puffed out their chest again. They pretended to slick back flowing hair- “Ansem?!” Of all the people it had to be one of them! “He saw you and let you live?!” They nodded with a smile.

What a horrible bunch of people. But the sputtering slobber’s movements are getting clearer to communicate more. This is…good news? Their movement is no longer a complete and all-encompassing issue. “So, what did you think of them?”

Eye covering, then a hard x across their chest with shaking head no. Emotions are very firm in the dislike. They pointed to a rock and then pointed to a weird dust circle on their coat and crossed their arms and pouted. 

“He…put a rock on your coat? Did you move it?” They shook their head no. “Why not?” They tilted their head and pointed at me. “Me? Why- oh.” The rule. That hurt. I wasn’t expecting it to hurt, but I just made a rule without thinking and because of that someone suffered something stupid that was easily avoided, just like Master. “Look. I meant like…” But I did mean it that way. I just didn't think that someone would use rocks of all things against the doll! I shake my head, “Whatever, move all the rocks you want as long as I'm not in the way. No getting stuck cause Xigbar’s an asshole.” I just know I'm going to regret that later.

They nodded, then pretended to play an instrument. Then he looked around and gestured for a Flood to come closer. Pointing at him then to the flood. Then to him and playing the guitar back to him. “You’re pretending to be Demyx and the Flood is you?” They nod very pleased with themselves.

They lifted the Flood up, walked to my bedroom, pretended to open the door, but didn’t instead a Mandrake got that for them, and carefully placed the Flood inside before closing the door and doing a very exaggerated lock motion.

My blood started to simmer, “He…locked you in a room?” Damn that lazy prick. Why didn't I think of that? A locked room would be perfect, provided there was enough room or one of those weird radio things or a screen or something. “What kind of room?” A sweeping floor motion. My blood turns from minorly annoyed to a red-hot boil of anger, “HE LOCKED YOU IN A BROOM CLOSET?” Jeez why not lock him in a cage for all the good that will do! “Damn it, but who can keep an eye on you? Everyone else is busy or a danger. Did you break out yourself or did someone save you?”

They then turned with that big puffy chest and haughty movement, pretending to open the door with a flourish. The doll made some weird huffy sounds with motions like he's talking down to a child as the Flood that was in the room wandered out and got a rough hand grab. Before the doll huffed and puffed away.

“Ansem got you out?” A nod. “Did he say anything weird?” A very concerned face with even larger nods. That scans. One day I'm going to come here and the doll will either be gone or a fine spray against the wall.

Then with an X face, they pointed to the door. Made a little waking motion with his hands, then pretended to lift up the rock off his jacket. A big thumbs up. I felt confident in this one, “Yeah Saix is…reasonable. I guess.”

I toss the nasty dry sandwich towards him, “Here’s that weird dry sandwich you had an emotional seizure over.” It tapped a few things on the table. A code? Whatever, “I'm heading to bed.”

It tracked me and fell over. I closed the door and went to bed.

In the middle of the night, I heard pawing at my door. Through the eyes of an Archraven, I see it’s just the bloody beanpole. Why does it want to be here? I just ignore it and keep on sleeping.

-Day 79 - 

The next day I had to scoot a misbehaving mimic out of my way. They might be moving better, but it doesn't seem to be able to move the door, probably because it requires lifting and moving at the same time. Maybe actually dumping him on the Mimic Masters will make him a better mimic? No. That was a stupid thought.

The meeting is another dull affair. But apparently Young Xehanort’s doing something and Sora’s actually heading to a new world again. Progress?

“There are also reports that the Princess of Heart Kairi has come out of hiding and is now also traveling the lands. Keep your senses sharp, and if you see her, track her and her activities. Dismissed.” 

Dunno who this Kairee is but she sounds just like Ventus. But somehow even more annoying.

I decided to wait at the end of the line today, had some weird vibes, and when I arrived at the front, I realized my next mission was at… Wonderland. 

Well. No time like the present to test his words, I slid him one of the ‘get out of mission free’ papers. He dips his head in agreement and takes back the mission briefing, handing me another.

The mission was: ‘Patrol the Keyblade Graveyard.’ I also got my usual make Unversed mission.

Pretended like nothing was up and just nod my head in turn and bolt out of there.

My valley has been utterly overpopulated with Unversed. They’ve long since packed all their old living spaces and infested every corner of the available caves. Yet I still made more. Though the mission was complete, I didn't leave right away. It feels a bit weird to finally just do things I always used to do, hailing my now steadily growing mob of Mimic Masters.

They lead me to one of the older caves, once home to Bruisers I believe but had been remodeled by the Mimics to make rooms that fit them better, but also because the hallways of the base twisted and winded everywhere though this place.

‘They know the ruins will rise. They build in our spaces to account for it.’ As if they weren’t crowded enough before. Great.

It’s an experience seeing those stiff walls from the other side. You’d think them tough metal walls built with the highest quality materials, but if you look on the other side it revealed they were made laughably cheap. Barely holding together. It's all temporary. Why care about the now that’s going to be erased after all.

“Always have. In any case, because I actually have a full day here at the Graveyard I can finally catch up on much delayed orders. What’s the actual status of the Graveyard itself?”

The 27 Mimic Masters pull out pages upon pages of maps they lay out carefully on the table. ‘Over here In the Sand Valley there are actually hundreds of thousands of Heartless swarming there. Pureblood. In the cavern over, Emblem; the counterfeit Heartless.’ ‘Over in Twister Trench the Xemnas and The Riku Replica practice using technology.’ ‘Here is the knife lady’s route.’ Many more notes to follow.

An older Mimic Master, nearly double the size of the others with dimming eyes approaches, ‘Master. There is an area we cannot approach. The force of will… it shall not allow us to approach.’ Upon inspecting the map, I know that cliff. That’s… where we fought before. Where I was making my last stand against Ventus, ‘There is an Unversed there we cannot reach. It is…very old.’

That is… not a good sign at all. “I'll check it out.” It must be something big if my Unversed can’t even approach. I get out of my seat.

‘Go with caution. Take the little one with you.’

Little one? Who? The doll? “Why? It can hardly move.”

‘Its magic is not to be ignored.’ ‘No one will have to take care of it today if you do.’ ‘The walk will let them practice more.’ It got closer with every suggestion until it was right in my face.

“Okay, okay, you don’t have to bombard me.” Pushing them back a bit.

I’ve never been at ease with my Unversed. I fought with them nearly every day. I scattered them across the worlds. I hate them. There are now thousands upon thousands here. The ones at Monstropolis still cause me suffering… but these ones just leave me in a state of numbness.

As I leave this cave of a million eyes, I just can’t wait to get back to Ventus and rid the world of this scourge.

After turning in my mission, I walked into the cave with a loud, “We're going on a field trip.” Something Aqua said a lot to Ventus for some reason.

As expected the doll rocketed into the air, a pinwheeling disaster of excitement. They seem to like field trips just as much if not more than Ventus. An impressive display. Their joy radiated out like a second horrible miniature sun and they nearly snapped their own neck trying to get to me.

This was a mistake that only got worse as we traveled through the Graveyard.

I finally got an idea of how they ‘walked’ around, and it didn't resemble human movement in the slightest. Sometimes it was like it was springing itself off its arms and legs to do weird lying hops across the ground. Sometimes it just did weird coiling rolls across the ground. One time it nearly looked like a walk if one walked by getting their raised foot perfectly up and into the air in wildly over shot steps. 

I’m going to be stuck teaching this thing how to walk normally one day aren't I?

All the while babbling unintelligibly. With its chest in such weird poses half the time the words didn’t stand a chance. I still wound up listening to all of it, following its rhythm, nodding and grunting at the correct moments. Why? That was pointless.

When we finally got within eye shot of the cliff, I could feel it. The stress in the air. A raw purpose and strength of command that Unversed would find utterly incapable of resisting if they didn’t just flee at the sensation... The now dirt caked dummy didn’t seem to notice, “Keep on your guard. We're looking for a rogue Unversed.”

The doll made a concerted effort to try and actually stand and look around every now and again. It was much slower going. Getting closer the air filled with more of that power. But it didn’t seem to be able to tell the difference, looking around as curious as ever.

I feel my hand get suddenly grabbed. The muddy menace gripping in absolute terror looking up at a spire of rock. What is it? I don't…

In the blink of an eye, it was suddenly there. Branded on its helm the symbol of the Unversed. Black and white stark against the desert sky. In another blink it stood right before us, the small doll flinching terribly and hiding behind me. It was my height exactly, my build exactly, and my dark suit almost exactly. Like looking into a faded photograph, a ghost stood before me. 

It is not mine per say. It is the first Unversed I have encountered that truly isn’t mine. The sickening flower and snail brigade still had faint traces of something that could be considered me. But this? No. Not at all.

Though it looked like a man, it was just a form, twitchy as a Flood. No more alive than any other Unversed. Something…left behind. I hazard to call it “The Remnant”. It’s neck suddenly snapped to the side to look at something, before letting out a low hiss, before it vanished.

The whole time my hand was being gripped in a vice, as the doll stared in confusion. Then bounced a bit in excitement. Creeping from behind me to look around, with renewed vigor.

I have no idea what to make of that Unversed, or whether I should mess with it at all… but I sigh.

“Hey, I'm going to try and sit and figure out if I can sense that thing. Stay nearby.”

It is not something I have to do very often but I can make out notes of darkness in an area. So I sit and take a breath focusing my attention outwards.

Double Vanitas!! Double Vanitas! I thought he was really scary but it's double Vanitas! Maybe with him Vanitas won’t have to work so hard for so long!! Or maybe he’ll send them out to jobs! Or maybe they’ll stay with me? Eh, I want real Vanitas, but double Vanitas!

It's REALLY hard to dance now! But I can't help it, I still try anyway! It’s so exciting! I dance across the strange cliffs, maybe I can find the second Vanitas? Ah, won't that be so cool? I stumble around the rocks, and peek over the cliffs and… 

I see something shiny in the sun. Was it Second Vanitas? Vanitas MK.II? Monotas? I lift my head up before lifting my arm up to get some shade to squint harder.

Someone kneeling in knight’s armor. Huh? Why do I get… this nagging sense of familiarity? Hm…I dance a little closer. 

All I managed to do was give myself a headache. There's darkness everywhere and that strange force of will clouds everything in the area. I wanna rub my temple but I won't risk removing my helmet.

Looking around for my dunce doll I don’t see them right off; they can’t have gotten that far-

I see it. Not too far off but…

He- No it was…dancing? Swaying in a relaxed motion…in front of Terra. Kneeling in his armor.

…Wait,

In front of Terra. In his armor. With His keyblade. 

Oh. Oh no.

My headache was gone in the face of my heart pounding. This is-! It can’t be! Why is Terra here?! Master took his body, that's why his Nobody looks like it does. Why the hell did that idiot get so close to Terra?! I found myself just utterly dumbstruck by how beyond suicidal that damned doll was!

Terra’s head turned to face them, and instead of running the doll waved. Dressed in a coat of darkness, looking like a hideous monster pretending to be human and failing. They don’t realize who they’re waving at. They lack self-preservation. They willingly live with me after all.

This is where the doll dies.

The last time I fought Terra, I had to repair the glass on my helmet after every hit. He’s too strong. I can’t save my doll.

I’ve been expecting it really. It wouldn't have lasted forever. Xehanort would have noticed and taken them away. Killed them in front of me. Turned them against me. Maybe it’s better this way.

With clumsy movement, they dust some sand off of Terra’s stupid armor. They seem to babble some as they do it and accidentally lose balance and fall over. Right on top of Terra’s shoulder. Terra’s hand lets go of his keyblade and starts creeping up. Is he going to use his bare hands to rip them apart? Why does my hand reach out? How pointless. Useless. Meaningless.

It’s fine, crossing my arms tightly. I don't need them. I have infinite labor. I have Unversed to talk to. The Mimic Masters seem like they’d have the capacity for something to talk about, unlike that momentary mimic. It sucked at mimicking anyways. I need to stop calling the doll a mimic… Especially since it’ll be dead soon. Xehanort and Terra at least can’t take my good mimics away from me forever- Why is it still alive?

Terra gently pulls the doll off of him, and stares at it before going back to his prior pose. The malformed menace does a small bow, before catching my eye and returning to me in a broken skip. It trips right onto its face, with the pop of a broken nose. The only injury they sustained. 

I’m positive Terra turned his head to stare me right in the eye. But he just remains there. Rooted to that spot. 

Back to something resembling up right the broken-nosed imbecile casts cure on itself, before slapping its face a little, and bouncing up to me. It miscalculates its jump and lands face first into my stomach. It just laughs about it, encircling its arms around me for some reason my brain can’t currently comprehend. 

Did…did a heart as gray and sickly as it, just survive an encounter with the ultimate murder machine known as Terra?

I can’t even begin to figure out what I feel. The swarm of Unversed around me make no sense, I don’t know whether I wanna laugh my ass off or clock the idiot in the jaw, and the worst part is they're gripping too tight. “Let go!”

Grabbing the insane idiot around the waist, I start to drag it away from this horrible place. That Unversed? Doesn't matter. Not important. Just a waste of my time.

“You… are the luckiest son of a bitch right now you don’t know the half of it.” Why am I so unsteady? My hands feel far away. My breathing doesn’t feel right and my failing stupid worthless heart feels like it’s trying to rip its way out of my chest, a brand-new issue I've never dealt with before. Stupid worthless weaknesses this stupid worthless idiot causes me!!

I drag them all the way to my favorite cliff, the highest one on the very edge of the world. Where the world barrier is so weak, even in the daytime you can make out the faintest glimmer of other worlds, and one can easily see the space debris all around this ailing world. The idiot sits and coos like nothing had happened.

It’s Too much. I Finally ditch my helmet and start rubbing my temples. The dummy turns and pats my head with a cure.

Today has been too much.

When enough time had passed to pretend I had done a real mission we made our way back to base. Halfway there I gave up letting them pretend to walk, and just lifted them on to my back. They weigh almost nothing. When the base was in view, I dropped them back to the floor before anyone could see. I had a gaggle of Unversed keep an eye on him.

Entering the break room, I approached the desk as quickly as I could. The sooner this is done the sooner I can leave.

Saix was there, the paper work already in place for me to sign and do all that bureaucratic garbage. My eyes still stung as I wrote in my usual chicken scratch.

“How was the patrol?” Saix asked offhandedly as he always did.

Small talk. Just gotta say there was a lot of desert. “Gave me a chance to finally check up on some things,” why am I telling him this, “Found a rogue Unversed. That was weird.”

Saix's face remained as bland as he was internally very confused, “...Okay. Perhaps I shall send you on more patrols here if there are such things around.” He looked away for a moment as if thinking, “Could your Unversed do patrols without supervision?”

“Not really. If they could, I would have handled it all sooner.”

“Such a shame, all that labor going to waste.”

“Hmp.” Slamming down the pen and quickly leaving the room. The Unversed are the most unhelpful creatures in all the worlds. He should be happy they can’t ruin everything. 

We returned to the cave where I dropped the scourge of my peace of mind in the center as usual, “No bothering me while I sleep, got it? Stay away from the door unless it's something important.”

The doll made a weak sound and curled up on the floor. It’s been a long day. It’s definitely it’s busiest day alive, even if it doesn’t seem to really need to sleep given what the Flood report.

Huddled in my room, I feel off kilter as I attempt to get some sleep.

It was futile. I never did.

In the dead of night, I heard it, the scuffling around the door. Only this time they did manage to move the door over slightly.

And when they realized I was staring at them they just had this stupid embarrassed crooked look. I kicked them back towards the center of the room, “Your stealth sucks.” And put a rock in front of the door.

Chapter Text

-Day 80 -

Who put this rock in front of my door?!

Did I even sleep? Or did I just volunteer to use my body as a filter for the worst coffee machine ever? I feel disgusting, decrepit, I need to kill Ventus sooner than later.

The thing that lives with me does its thing and as I start to leave the cave and look out at the desert… I really don't want to. Removing those treacherous emotions as a flock of birds. I still don't want to. 

My squatter rolls up, literally, like some kind of pill bug just literally rolls up. “You can't come with me to the meeting…” They can’t, the old bastard would destroy him for kicks. “But you can follow me part of the way.” Dammit! Why did I say that?! What is wrong with my stupid mouth lately?!

Of course, they were overjoyed. ‘Walked’ on the tips of their toes like an unbalanced marionette, before slipping and crashing into my leg. They practically climbed me to get back to standing.

Barely a quarter of the way there the rug was pulled out from them again and they settled on rolling around in the dirt. Before had been slow traveling, but this was so much worse. I just grabbed them by the hood and dragged them across the dirt. They just laughed. Why? I don't understand them.

Halfway to the pillars, and about halfway to the base, I let go. Their head dropped into the rocky ground hard enough that it was annoyed. For a fraction of a second. Looking down onto their gross curious face, still melting as ever, “That's the end of your free ride. The base is that way; you’ll have to hoof it the rest of the way there.”

With a tilt of their head and a blink of their currently mismatched eyes, “Whof?”

Fucking idiot. Pulling a Flood out of my hand, “You’ll figure it out.” Dropping the new pest on the old pest, I turned away and didn't look back.

Vanitas left without a goodbye again. Does he just not like saying it? Is it because we're going to see each other again later? Has no one ever told him goodbye before? No wait, I definitely have. Is it the Flood buddy? Are they the goodbye? I tuck them away carefully in my pocket.

Sighing, I take note of my surroundings. Standing up with Vanitas there is so much easier, I wish I could have asked him to help before he left. I look around from the floor, lots of rocks, lots of stones, lots of… really pretty skies…beautiful fluffy clouds… How deep is the sky? I can't see the end of the depth; it just seems to go on and on never repeat-Focus! Uh, rocks and stones aren't big enough to really help…

I spot a keyblade shaped metal stick near me. I try to move my shoulder- nope that’s my foot, my shoulder- dang it that’s my eye, my shoulder and I haul my way over to it.

These keyblade looking things are everywhere, creepy and rusted. Just trying to grip the handle, I don’t feel confident about it. I wish I could just use my keyblade but it’s been so weird since I entered this system! All the forms are wrong and sometimes it's that shield from so long ago. Everything has been weird really…

Somehow the metal stick holds. I do manage to stand. I gotta get better at walking like a normal person! I wanna get back to jumping around and air stepping and-

Air stepping. Now that's an idea! Can I do that? The command is just right there…

When I activate it, the rush of air feels very nice. The landing right on my face, and dragging across the ground was not nearly as nice. My nose made a weird pop again.

The Flood in my pocket crawled out and was in a clear frenzy. OH NO did he get hurt? I cast cure on them to be safe. She freezes up, their eyes glow even brighter, before his little arms curl up and press hard against their forehead. Did she get a headache? He started pointing at me.

It grabbed my hand and pressed it against my face. Was I hurt? I can’t tell anymore. I cast to be safe.

With an agreeable pose, they got back into my pocket, and I had to get back on my feet again…huh? In the distance I saw something approaching. I think it’s a person. As they got closer, they had an Unversed symbol on their belly and a collage hat with a cool dangly moon. An Unversed researcher?

They looked at me, eyes very red, and lifted me onto their shoulders and started walking. Towards the base too boot!

Ha! Take that Vanitas I still got a free ride!

I sneeze harshly. What a horrid sensation I haven't felt in… I don't know anymore. I think it was still Ventus’s nose. I nearly lost my grip as I climbed up the rocky pillar.

The Unversed researcher approached this super cool silver guy, and dumped me into their arms. They were so cool! A hoodie suit that was all silver with blue lights and their fingers were long and tied up like carrots! So cool!

They’re steps were so fancy…! I wish I could walk so confidently like them! Would it be worth trying to ask for their name? Probably not, Vanitas can barely understand me, and yesterday I found out he’s the only one who's going to try. I wonder where we're going? This is definitely the base…

Then through a door and I knew exactly where I was. Vexen’s lab.

I can’t help but gasp again. This room is unreal. This system is simply unreal! Are these ALL individual items? All these papers and bottles? I look at them and they all have different textures. What kind of instancing was this place capable of? What sort of crazy petabyte of RAM does this place have?

I saw the Blue Salts and the Red Chillys…. Why are they called chilly? Are they cold? They seem so warm though, they got fire patterns. There's also a bunch more Unversed roaming here. They seemed confused when they saw me.

I sat as motionlessly as I could while waiting for Vanitas. I don’t want him to get in any trouble.

…

 How long were those meetings supposed to be? 

Sitting’s boring. I'm going to try and help those guys with the papers!

meeting is going. And going. And going…

I peek out though Unversed eyes and see the moron made it to the lab fine. I wonder if I should direct my little minion… I check back with the meeting.

“Sora has done nothing but roam the galaxy blasting space rocks for HOURS.” Whined Xigbar, “This is so lame. It's hard to spy on him because he drives off and sometimes, I lose track and sometimes he SHOOTS at me.”

Yeah it's safe. I peek my eyes through… and see them in front of a pile of Vexen’s papers. They’re shockingly not completely ruined, littered with the Liquified lad’s hand prints for sure, but it's nowhere near as bad as days prior. 

I try hard to suppress a snort, as I have to direct a group of Flood to lure them out and keep them somewhere else. All the while the meeting continues.

Xehanort asks, “Is there anything to even be gained from the space debris? Is it not just gummi parts?”

I spoke up for once, “Those space rocks can sometimes have the metals required for Keyblade forging, like Damascus.” Found that one out one day from some Jellyshade on their way to hassle… I think it was Ventus or Terra?

The Master looked thoughtful for once, “Ah yes, I haven’t had to forge since my youth. That is a likely reason for Sora’s actions.”

I did good at a meeting today. How… wildly uncomfortable.

Though my hands are often full, Xemnas and Xehanort give me even more to do. After I finish assigning everyone their missions for the day, I have to work with Xion to get her to an appropriate state.

Where they plucked her from time was apparently very specific. To avoid her being weak, but to avoid her being uncontrollable. I was to train her for that last bit of strength and to spot immediately if they had to grab another.

I walk into the mess hall to see her sitting there already eating breakfast.

“Xion.” I nod as I pass by.

“Saix.” She nods as well. This one had lasted the longest so far.

Demyx in the corner is as usual playing music, but every now and again looks up to the pantry shelves looking nervous.

I sit down with my food, and his unnatural swiftness kicks in as he suddenly sits across from me, “Heeey! Saix!! I see you’re already dealing with one of the kiddos today!! How ‘bout taking another?”

“You have 5 seconds to explain yourself before I bludgeon you to death.”

“VaItitsIsMakingMeLookAfterThat!!” pointing furiously at the shelves. Taking another look, I can see something… moving approximately through the shelfs. Placing cans, then ‘running’ back to a waiting Dusk who gives them another for them to place. It wore a horribly abused dark coat.

“The broken replica? You're telling me you can’t look after a defective creature for a mere day? You realize that Vanitas has been the one doing your missions. The least you could do is keep an eye on his things for him.”

As we speak, out of the corner of my eye I see Xion, leaning back to see the creature. A question clearly waiting behind her blank face. Especially when she saw it start rolling around on the ground to get to its destination.

With a sigh I stood up, “Demyx, don’t move. Xion, come with me. It’s best if you are made at least…aware of the defect.” She stands up and follows me wordlessly as we approach the shelves.

Clearing my throat, “Replica.” Defect was about to join it but I withheld it. The worst it’s done is make a small mess, and was not responsible for destroying huge amounts of property, it was just the excuse two imbeciles used. In this more troublesome organization softer words had been proving more effective on the lessers.

The creatures’ rolling stopped, it turned in the wrong direction to face us, before grabbing the shelf and trying to stand. The can-giving Dusk suddenly leaps to assist the creature, notably keeping it from resting its weight upon the shelves.

Xion nervously steps up, holding her hands before, quietly and shyly, “Uh, hello? My name is Xion. What’s yours?”

Finally standing up it waves at me, then turns to Xion looking confused before its eyes dart all the way to the ceiling, and it leans very far back as if she’s a giant. Looking at what it thinks must be her head it waves in jubilation, “NiI meep ya! Muym muemne isssthtch daba soo ro bvba!”

I… couldn’t make out anything, and from her confused look I do not believe Xion did either. 

Xion notices the gross hairs that fall out of its hood, “Huh? What’s going on?” before boldly approaching and taking down his hood.

It was no real secret its condition was bad given its trails but it looked like a disgusting mess. Especially after the hood was down suddenly it could look Xion in the eye before tracking in the wrong direction again.

Xion arms up half ready to cast or grab something, “Uh… are-are you ok? Do… I mean I have potions?”

It gave the ‘okay’ sign with its shuttering hand, “Mmm fimb.”

She turns to me with a haunted expression, “Is… Is this how I look to others?”

I don't really want to comfort her but, “Not at all. Yours is just one image by each individual perception. This thing is just… Having issues.” Steering her away, “Now that you’re introduced, let's finish lunch and get back to training.”

She followed alone though kept looking back in curiosity. The creature with its disfigured hands couldn't seem to get its hood back on.

As we finished our meals it finally managed to, and climbed over the tables to reach us, its footsteps tiny wet slaps against the table top. It was with this that I noticed Demyx had vanished. The wretch.

Xion let out a small giggle, weird when her face is blank, but then she offered him a hand, “You don’t walk on tables silly!”

It shrugged. Taking her hand and making it to the floor, “Saix, I know we have to train but can’t I… uh… teach this guy how to coordinate better? Just for a little while.”

A ploy. I knew it to be one, but I merely pulled out some paperwork, “If you think you can.” I shouldn’t let either of us idle, but hardly anyone came to eat at this exact hour. And I do need this paper work done. Five minutes is hardly the end of the world.

It's nothing but official documentation for Xehanort, an official report on Kairi the Princess of Heart’s movements. They had seemingly been hiding her, but at some point she was given her own gummiship and was out in the worlds Sora had been doing further clean up. With Axel.

Every now and again I look up and I see Xion attempting to play one of those clapping hand games. The defective replica would have the movements down, then suddenly with a shutter and completely lose all grace of movements. It paused at some point, touching its nose in confusion. 

“Does Xehanort know?” Xion eventually asked.

“Hm?”

Xion stopped her game and looked at me, “Does Xehanort know? About Sloppy Joe?”

Sloppy Joe? The defective replica started laughing very hard at her choice of nickname. She couldn't help but smile a bit even as she tried to repress it.

“It’s been roaming about the castle, leaving hair, blood, and chaos in its wake. Xehanort knows.” That man basically knows everything as it's happening.” I look at the clock, “We should get to training.”

She nods, before, “Hey Joe, wanna come watch us train?” And it seemed to think before shaking its head no, and pointing to the Can-Giving Dusk, now putting away cans on its own. “Well, if you’re ever in the area feel free to come and watch.” It nodded before crawling back to the shelves.

We're behind schedule, but frankly it needed to happen eventually. This defect should be brought up at a meeting, if only for everyone else to be on the same page.

“Vanitas.” Barks master Xehanort.

I flinched, I had been paying attention but there's only so much to pay attention to when Sora’s been taking photographs in Toy Box for several unbroken hours, “Yes?”

“I recognize you have accepted your punishment with grace. And that you have been in true efforts to return to your former strength. So, you have earned a chance to regain the right to use your dark corridors whenever you please.” said with That crooked smile.

I can't trust a word out of his mouth but I calmly ask, “What must I do?”

“There out in the wastes is an Unversed. An Unversed you made at the moment of your utter defeat at the hands of Ventus. An Unversed with all of what remained of your strength.” His smile grows, “I know you have encountered it recently; do not deny it. If you wish to return to your former strength, go forth and fight it. Regain the strength that was once yours.”

What? Would that actually work? He’s talking about the Remnant, right?  Does it actually have my power?

“The creature is most often spotted by the dirge canyon. Ansem Seeker of Darkness shall help you find it when you wish to challenge it." Ansem glanced at me before looking back to the master, “After the meeting, work out a time between yourselves as to when to fight it. Vanitas, should you destroy this wretched creature, you shall gain all your prior strength and I will restore your right to use corridors again.”

Yeah yeah you’ve already said that, “I’ll beat it.” How hard could it be? I know all my skills. How could a mindless Unversed do better than me?

“Good, good.” That wicked smirk widened. What's he up to? What's the trick? Is he done with all that other time-wasting garbage?

When the meeting concluded, I felt Ansem approach me from the air, “Vanitas. Go today to Vexen and get clearance with him to spend your hour after work with me instead of him.”

“...You know about that?”

He held a smug look, “Sometimes I get bored and watch Vexen work. Sometimes I saw you there and I simply asked him about it.” He titled his head and looked in the sky in confusion, “You'd think he’d put you to work with the papers if nothing else. I’d have you on sample taking for sure.” Before returning his gaze to me.

What samples I’d be taking in that universe, “I can do that. Anything else?”

He hummed, closing his eyes, rubbing his chin before looking back up, “Bring the unfortunate one with you. Its proficiencies with cure magic will be of assistance.” Before suddenly turning away, “We start tomorrow after the evening meetings.” Vanishing into a corridor.

I don’t trust Xehanort, nor any of his alters, but… why was this one permissing the doll’s existence?

The thoughts eat me alive as I make it back to base.

I found Demyx without the doll. All I see is red.

I snap out of my murderous rampage when the babbler runs up and stops me from snapping Demyx’s neck. He must have run into Vexen’s lab at some point, who was not impressed.

“Yes yes, the child’s safe. Let the intern go, we have much to discuss.” I slack my hands and that's all Demyx needs to slip away in terror. 

Vexen rolls his eyes before pinch his brow, “Listen, I can't exactly keep an eye on it with my research but I will make sure the Dusks keep it out of trouble from now on. Now since you're both here, let’s get it on the table. See how it’s doing.”

The doll gave me a little stop motion, before pulling off the worst executed cartwheel I've ever seen and yet it did manage to make it on the table with only three beakers broken and five knocked over piles of paperwork all by itself. “Oh, I see that you’re more coordinated, that's nice.” Vexen was absolutely seething behind his barely concealing smile, but it was enough to fool the amalgamation who made a happy chirp.

It suddenly waved him to get closer, then for me to get closer, “Oh? What’s on your mind?” It pulled down its hood pointing, and Vexen had to flitch to hide his disgust, “Ahh yes what are we looking at?” It points to its nose.

It’s small, unnoteable nose…that wasn’t changing! I couldn't help but gasp like a goob like Ventus would and touch it, “This was melting this morning, but now it’s not?”

Vexen grinned, “Excellent! Plug him in, let's get some exact numbers.”

One plug later, a few taps on the keyboard, some muttering and, “Good news! Genuinely. Before you saw how far out the bar went, correct?”

“...Yes?”

“Well take a look at it now!” It was much shorter, the length of the screen but it was in full size and the changing replica and end were both in sight.

“Alright. What does it mean?”

“My best guess, at this speed… three days. A week at most but I'd be hard pressed to think it would take that long.”

That's… unbelievable. The end already here? I was expecting forever. I try to disguise my feelings by changing the subject, “There’s something else I have to talk about. Ansem wants to make the hour I have to spend here his so I can fight that thing.”

“Hm, why do you still hang around here?”

“You never rescinded the order. Remember your word is as good as Xehanort’s to me?”

“Oh right, I had forgotten. Well I will agree…” suddenly tapping his fingers, “...on one condition.”

“Fine, what is it?” More testing?

“Since you two are trash cave troglodytes you both need to shower better and more often. I've been meaning to tell you this for ages but it kept slipping my mind.” He looked over us, our coats were duster than anyone else, “Especially with your walking everywhere? Eugh. Take all the time you need, go to the bathroom, use soap, and take a real shower at least twice a day.”

Twice a day?! “I don't have that kind of time in my schedule!”

“You, until you get your corridors back, can make your first bath that bucket thing you do. But after you fight that thing, you come back here and take a real one.”

“But I won't make it in time before the barrier goes up for the night!”

His face twisted into annoyance, probably to hide his genuinely deep confusion, “Barrier?”

“Xehanort puts a barrier on my cave that goes up around sun fall.”

Vexen stunned for a few moments, floundering at the concept before under his breath ‘why?!’ followed by, “I will discuss this with Ansem to make you at least a corridor to the fight and back here. If it doesn't work out, I'll modify it. Then either me or Demyx will make you the portal to your cave.”

I tsk, but it’s the best deal I’ll get, “Fine.”

“Remember, though this is mostly for the rest of us it is also for you, and him! His handprints nearly ruined some of my work. You start the fight today?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Then for now, get him unplugged and go take a shower.” He spun on a heel and walked back into his lair of paper.

I look at the doll who seems as pleased as punch. Grabbing him by the hood, “This is stupid.”

The shower was nothing that unusual. Not as fast as the bucket, but we did get all the dust off our coats. I don’t own any soap so I just stole some from one of the lockers, something called ‘eau de danse.’ The doll… I’m going to really have to think of a new name for it, as it seemed to initially be in wonder about the water before just chilling under it. 

I made the mistake of yanking down their hood to look at their face again and the water washed hair off nearly as fast as it grew. Yuck. The drain clogged and we were mostly dust free so I decided that it was time to go. It’s getting late.

Wait.

Getting late?!

We nearly didn’t make it! I was watching the cool rivets of water and drops that went everywhere when Vanitas suddenly grabbed me, “WE NEED TO GO NOW HOLD ON!” And I did just that grabbing him around the neck as he bolted out the base. 

Vanitas, using some intense Aero magic, summoned a long trail of the metal sticks. Effortlessly he leapt on to them and rode them, even with me in the way.

It was weirdly exhilarating, like one long air step. Something invisible pressed against my face enough to set off Collision:True. The dust? The air? It was hard to say, but it was amazing!

From his back I got such a good view. One of my eyes had perfectly clear sight today, and the desert at sunset…

Maybe it wasn’t blood red like Twilight Town Comp, but the purples, blues, and yellow clashing in the skies, the light shimmering in the air making it wavy, the massive expanse I never thought could ever exist…as far as my eyes could see we could go. Vanitas proved it.

Wherever we could see… we could go…!

I could never go back to the Twilight Town comp. I had thought it close to the dream of reality, but it didn’t compare. It was comparatively tiny chunks, blocks everywhere, and a baked-in lighting cycle. When my mouth works, I have to ask about this system, Vexen would know for sure, because I have so many questions.

I could never go back. 

I never wanna go back.

I'm sorry JJ.

I’m…sorry Selphie. 

When the cave is in sight, somehow Vanitas kicks into a speed even faster, my grip nearly giving out from a parameter change, but he leaps off the keys into a mad dash and we dart in, the barrier up at our heels, and as he swerves hard to lose speed he turns and we slam into the wall my back first.

“HOLY SHIT WE MADE IT!” He laughs, HE LAUGHS, in victory! I laugh and join in too!

Then a thought occurs. I can go back once. Get Selphie. Maybe get JJ, but I've been having so much fun without him. Just once.

I feel guilty but then try to flatten it hard as Vanitas looks at me funny, “What are you so bummed about? My cave not good enough for you?”

Pat him on the head with a cure. I’ll tell you when I can Vanitas, but I love this place.

Then a thought crossed my mind, “Vexen’s portal?”

Vanitas looked at me funny before, “Aw damn it we didn't have to run!”

Chapter Text

-Day 81- 

“I don’t know how you did it without me waking up.” I say first thing in the morning, marching up to the relatively dust free dunce, “But I know you got in my room last night.”

They looked shocked and guilty. Then glanced around at the Unversed with a funny look of betrayal, “Oh no they didn’t rat you out.” I pointed to my helmet, “Your handprint right in my line of sight did that.” It looked at its hands, face stunned, horrified, and embarrassed as hell as it stared at its grubby palms.

…Yeah. Yeah, I'm slowly getting a return investment from keeping this thing. That face was worth the hassle of cleaning this off.

How the days are dull.

At first being resurrected was quite exciting. But it faded fast at the grindstone of missions… and meetings. Xemnas’s meetings where never so limiting. He’d at least let me shuffle my cards.

I understand very well that Xehanort needs a well-oiled machine, but the man could do with a gamble every now and again. Even if it's on something as simple as not everyone needing to be at a meeting discussing how Sora has planted himself in a dark valley killing the same bat heartless for hours.

My missions have also been substantively less and less meaningful. An eye on Xigbar here, a set up in the Caribbean there, but with Sora’s delays I have been sent off on meaningless recon in irrelevant worlds to make sure they're irrelevant.

So here I sit. At a table tucked away in a small alcove of the base, shuffling my cards, rather quite bored. My mission today was so simple, finished before the morning was even done and now, I found myself in this corner trying to ignore the hum of the vending machines and my creeping boredom.

I knew Marluxia and Larxene weren’t back for hours. Saix had training with Xion today. Xehanort and most of his other ilk had no patience for card games…

Small wet little steps caught my ear. Unusual, I’d gotten pretty good at figuring people out from their strides. I readied the magic of my cards. If it was a Heartless in the base it was to be killed, a Nobody ignored, and Unversed to be mocked. At least that’s how Xehanort ordered it.

Instead, it was a little coated figure. Meandering with un-easy steps. Its clean coat looked out of place given how eviscerated the actual condition was. A bell rang in my head. Ah, yes wasn’t Saix talking about this over dinner the other night? The defective replica.

 It certainly walked like it was defective. Its steps comically overextended, it was a miracle they moved at all. Was it trying to mimic a Dusk?

As it passed by, it seemed to not notice me, I was left with many questions. While it was amusing to see Demyx still be so terribly incompetent and yet still remain, the why was always a mystery. My bet was always Xehanort kept him just because he wanted a court jester to keep ‘morale’ up. But why another, this time a seemingly crippled replica allowed to roam free?

I won’t get any answers just sitting here, standing up and heading out. I might as well just ask Saix himself directly.

-Day 31 - 

It’s been at least a month since I've joined this… Real Organization.

It’s a lot like the old. 

Saix said that Roxas wasn’t strong enough for them to save. That’s my fault, isn’t it?

Some of the faces are the same, some are familiar but are attached to the wrong people, but one thing’s for sure the secrets haven’t stopped. The games they play with our lives haven't ended. I still just collect hearts and train.

But there’s nothing I can do about it.

I don’t know what I did, but Saix is now my appointed ‘master’. It’s… wrong. Sometimes, unlike before he will pretend to have feelings. It's wrong. They come out of nowhere and… I don’t know what to feel about it. There’s no one I can ask safely…

I miss Axel.

I miss Roxas.

I miss Ice cream.

And… I look at the floor. The first solace of color I've seen in weeks. It's a tuft of pink…hair? I look around and see there’s a trail of bits of hair going down the halls. There are also red droplets… blood?

Saix looks at it, before sighing, “Go ahead. There is time.” And leaves continuing down a different hall. Why is he letting me break the schedule? This isn't like him. He hates me.

I better take my chance while I have it. Looking around I see hair and droplets going to the left, and hair and droplets going to the right. But how do I tell which way he went?

“Xion?” I jump, but it’s only Luxord. He always walks so quietly; I can never hear him coming. I don’t know him very well but I knew him a bit from before, “What are you looking at?” He says curiously approaching, shuffling cards as he always does.

Do I tell him…? “I’m looking for… uh…” I don't know their real name, “...Sloppy Joe.”

He raises an eyebrow, “...The food or a person named ‘Sloppy Joe’?”

“The person. See the hair and drops? They can’t help but leave a trail of it. I’m trying to find them.”

“Hmm, I'm not familiar with any Joes in this organization. But in any case, let me teach you a small trick.” getting closer to the ground, hand pointing to a drop, “These? They’ve been stepping in them, and you can tell their direction by the drags and shape of them.”

I get a bit closer and, “Oh yeah, I can see it! So he went that way?” Looking down the right hall.

“Most likely.” Standing up, dusting himself off, “Mind if I follow you? I’d like to meet this ‘Joe’.”

I can’t believe Joe hasn’t been shown off to everyone yet, “Sure.” We walk quietly through the halls. 

Staring at a somewhat larger pile of hairs and drops, as if he’d been standing still. “Seems ‘Joe’ has been reading the signs on the walls.” They were always piled in front of them. 

It's kind of scary how easy it can be to talk to Luxord. “He must be really new if no one’s met him. I only met him yesterday myself.”

“Hm, a new recruit at this stage? Xehanort must be trying to stack the deck. Or perhaps he means to scare the lights with numbers? Maybe, they’re just backups in case the light begins taking heads?” He seemed to mostly muse to himself.

I shouldn't say it but, “I think…” I look around, “Uhm…”

Luxord catches and looks around as well, “We’re safe. You can keep a secret with me.”

In my softest whisper, “I… don’t think Xehanort knows.”

His eyes widen a bit at that and he nods, “Alright. Interesting theory but don’t bet high on it. That man, he tends to know things. Especially if this Joe is being this open.” Pointing to the mess on the floor.

“...You're right. It just felt weird that we haven't seen him at any meetings.” They could seriously use the added content. We keep walking.

Finally finding him, in a small office to the side. I'm not sure whose it is, but a few Dusks are in there cleaning and it seems he’s trying to help. He drops a big box of papers and they go flying, but he just plops down and starts putting the papers back in the box. He’s trying.

Luxord looks into the room confused, “Ah, are you the ‘Sloppy Joe’ Xion's told me about?”

They snap up to look at him with terrifying speed, before lurching up with the box, nearly dropping it again but a Dusk snatches it, before lumbering over and making a bow like motion and a wave.

Nonplussed, Luxord nods, “I’m Luxord. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Offering a hand.

It takes Joe a while to see it, but when he does, he quickly grabs Luxord's hand from the wrong side and then weakly lift up and down. When he's done, Luxord seemingly pulls a card out of Joe’s sleeve, “Ah, what's this? Ready to cheat at poker?”

Joe gasps, looks at his sleeve in confusion and looks back, his face shocked.

Luxord pulls off a few more card tricks, “Ah. A complete novice? Splendid. I hardly get to try on new blood anymore. Have either of you places to be?”

“Training. But I'm not sure if Saix is there yet.”

“Then let's go there, and while we wait, why don’t we play a few games?”

I mean… “Sure. Saix probably won’t mind. That much.”

There was a small table and a few chairs in the training room Xion and Saix used. He apparently liked to try and teach her strategy sometimes, leaving it perfect for a few rounds of cards.

I decided to keep it light, very simple poker, just to get a feel for the two’s luck. 

Xion had unnoteworthy bad luck. Though her fate be marred by it, she was not otherwise hated by fate.

The Joe fellow… That was an interesting story. We had to give him another pair of gloves so as to not mark the cards, and as we played it was very clear that his luck was utter nonsense. Fate had no idea what to do with him, at least from what I could see loved and hated in equal measure. He also liked solitaire and was very good at it. Unnaturally so. 

At one point he had a hand and “bleh”ed a card, giving it back to me. 

“That's not how you play card games sir. What do you have against…” flipping over the card, “an ace of spades?” He grumbled some sort of grievance.

He did it again with ace of hearts. And when he got a Queen of Hearts the glare on his disfigured face was something. That's when it clicked for me, “Someone’s been to Wonderland eh?”

Xion shuffled a bit uncomfortable, “That world can be…not very nice.”

Joe hummed a bit, and wiggled his hands in a ‘so-so’ gesture. But pointed at the Queen and shook his head no. 

The door then opened and Saix looked a bit peeved, “An audience today?” Stepping up to the table, looking at ‘Joe’ in particular, “When is Vanitas due back for you?”

“Vanitas?” That ghastly fellow with no face? “What’s his connection to this ‘Joe’ character? Is he the broken replica you mentioned before?”

Saix rolled his eyes, “That’s correct. A replica Vexen made weeks ago broke, and was put into Vanitas’s care. Somehow it became alive and Vanitas can’t trust it to be in his cave anymore.”

Hm, a creature spontane- wait what “...I’m sorry, did you just say he lives in a cave?”

“He lives in the cave we dump electrical trash and other garbage in.”

“...He lives in the trash cave?? Why? There are so many empty rooms.” Is there something wrong with him? Was this another punishment by Xehanort? He certainly loved to give Vanitas some real corkers.

“Ask Xehanort, though you will likely get an unsatisfactory answer.” By god, even Saix isn’t aware of the why? Now I must know.

Vanitas. A person of little interest to me, outside the fact his luck is astoundingly terrible. I dare not have any sympathy for the barely contained psychopath but… looking at little Joe, it feels wrong that he has to go through it too.

But it’s too late to have a conscience now. We are all forced to play our parts after all.

In the end Saix asks us to leave, my missions done for the day I decide to spend the rest teaching Joe some card tricks. But I had a nagging thought.

If it spontaneously came alive and Vanitas leaves it here, when did it have the chance to go to Wonderland?

At the evening meeting, the first thing out of Xehanort's mouth was, “Which one of you have been in my library messing with my books?”

Everyone looked at each other confused. I crossed my arms, no way in hell would I ever go near that old bastard's library.

“I will not be too upset, for I will not deny the organization is rather aesthetically pleasing, but it makes finding books unnecessarily difficult. Who did it?” He’s full of shit, and everyone knows it. They’ve all seen what he does to me so no one was willing to own up to it.

In the end he imposed a small group punishment; The removal of Ketchup from the cafeteria. Then declares leaving a permanent nobody to guard the door. I doubt it though, there aren’t a lot of those guys to go around.

While Demyx complained about the situation I could only wonder, “Who the fuck is Ketchup?”

That meeting wasn't so bad. Mission was easy. Now how hard will it be to find my meandering mimic?

No time at all. Walking into the mess hall, it wasn't empty and the gambler was patiently shuffling cards with the mimic, before its hands slipped out of its control and the cards went flying. Gambler man just magicked the cards back together. 

Not once have I ever had to speak with Luxord. If I did It was so long ago I forgot about it.

“Ah, Vanitas.” Magicking away his cards, “I do believe this fellow is yours?” Addressing the amalgamation, who chirped happily at my arrival.

“...Yeah. Ansem wanted me to bring him to the fight with that Unversed.”

“Ah yes, the one Xehanort mentioned? I’ll leave you to it.” Before standing up and making to leave, before suddenly pausing, “Vanitas just to be sure, is Xehanort aware of this…?” Motioning towards the doll.

“Yeah, Vexen told him when the replica broke in the first place.” He’d have to be blind to miss the mess this thing leaves. Though it is slowly becoming less and less… but, “No way has Xehanort not noticed.”

With a smirk, Luxord nodded, “Happy hunting.”

As we walked outside, Ansem floated ominously to the side, startling both of us with his, “Are you ready?” Taking a look at the Rambunctious Roller. Ansem does a very small bow of sorts, “Greeting, I am Ansem Seeker of Darkness.” The amalgamate doll does some kind of greeting. Ansem responds with a calm, “I’m sure he will settle on a proper name for you once your health returns.”

That’s weird. Can he understand it? I hate that. I should be the only one to understand it.

I go to check my gear before remembering I really only have Void Gear and I feel confident with my standard command loadout, “Ready as I'll ever be.”

With a sharp nod, he makes the corridor and we all file in.

Dirge Canyon wasn’t anything special, valley walls on both sides, rocks in the middle. It got away with a fairly normal name all things considered. Good memories too, I kicked the shit out of Ventus here once.

Ansem floated into the shade, carrying the clumsy klutz with him, who kept turning back and giving me thumbs up.

Pfft. I don’t need something as pathetic as encouragement.

A few steps in I sensed it, slithering out of a crack in the ground boneless as all Unversed, came my hideous reflection. I can do this. I’ve been regaining my strength. It’s me, I know all my moves, and it's just an Unversed, it’s not likely to be smarter than me in any way that matters.

I charge before it can take a stance, swinging Void Gear towards it but my keyblade bounces off… a barrier spell?! I don’t know any barrier magic!

I feel murderous intent from inside the barrier just in time. A flash of darkness strikes from the barrier so fast that I can barely dodge before more manifestations of myself rapidly emerge from the barrier and nearly strike me, what the hell is this?! I can’t do that-!

Panicked, I failed to dodge one of them and it managed to land a hit on me. My eyes are suddenly stung with the bite of darkness. Huh? I’ve been blinded?? How could- I can't be-!

Before I know it a beam of energy crashes into me, and I'm knocked around like a toy in a hurricane. Darting around with flash steps is the only way I can stay in the fight long enough for my sight to clear. Stupid Remnant! What the hell is this?!

With a flicker I tried my classic trick, and it struck my wayward image. Though I was too angered to say my usual taunt. It was the first hit I landed, and Void Gear might as well have just slammed into a steel wall for all it cared. Tossing me away like I was nothing.

My head slammed into the rocks, helmet cracking right down the middle, vision starting to swim as my ears were ringing while a familiar sting seeped deep into my body.

Was that…Light?

The Remnant charged me, but never reached. Grabbed by the leg, a massive Heartless sprung out of the ground flying off with it as Ansem teleported to my side, grabbed me, and teleported back to where the doll was.

I lost.

The doll seemed to be screaming as it clicked in worry and casted a high-level Cure on me. Looking at Ansem it only now dawned on me that if Xehanort saw someone heal me, I'd be punished. But Xehanort’s heartless just watched. He even demanded I bring the doll here for this. 

I lost.

Ansem finished off the visor of my helmet with just a tap and grabbed my head, tilting it and looking at me, serious face seemingly satisfied, “For a bullheaded attempt that could have gone far worse. Now you know what to prepare for.” Turning to the doll, “Good form on your Curaga.”

I lost…

“Let me fight it again!”

“No. There’s no sense sending you in without some preparation.” With a corridor he dragged us back to the base. I seethed but there was nothing I could do. Wordlessly we took our showers, stealing Ansem’s soap right in the front of his face, and he made us another corridor back to the cave.

I lost.

I lost, I lost, I lost against myself…! My past strength. I’ve… I've become so weak. Master was right, I’ve let my body go to waste. All the pain I tried to avoid with this fresh canvas I've just- squandered! Squandered every bit of my strength trying to avoid it!

What… What should I do?

The doll suddenly grabs my arm tightly and shakes it, “What do you-”

“Co   ma   nn Ds.” Holding up a fistful of… the weirdest looking commands I’ve ever seen with an audacious grin. Their confidence bled from every pore.

…Yeah. Yeah! What the hell am I doing groveling like whiny little Ventus? So, I wasn't ready. Boo hoo, that’s why I've been given multiple attempts. Xehanort knows my strength, maybe there’s some stupid fuck off reason I need to be weak, maybe it has something to do with the exponentially growing amount of Unversed I’ve been asked to create, maybe it was so I couldn’t kill Sora at my leisure. I don’t know. I’ll likely never know. It better not be that fucking last one.

I pull out my commands. Nothing special, It’s a Heartless slaying setup of low tier dark elemental magic. I need to actually try with this fight, something I haven't had to do since Ventus fucking killed me. No piddly little spells for this beast.

Whistling to an Archraven, it flies off, and in a few minutes brings my old stash of commands. I need to think about this, have an honest conversation with myself, about… my weaknesses. 

The first thing I pulled out was the Tornado that I used to do that hurricane of keyblades trick, not enough dead keyblades over there I could use. I’m… still a feather weight comparatively, but I can’t be sure that Remnant is. My eyes catch the doll looking with wonder, hopefully it’s not paying that much attention. I should order it to leave.

But instead, it takes a few steps back and focuses. Out of its sleeves like a parody of a cheap stage magician falls out more of its strange commands. Where the hell did it get these? They glow with a faint light, in a style that reminds me of Vexen’s computer. All the commands I had ever seen had been made of aged woods, metals, or carved right from a synthesis material. Names marked on one side, and the ruins that constituted their magic on the back. But these were different somehow. I picked one of their strange ones up.

Just holding one in my hand made my brain misfire. It's in my hand. I see it in my hand. But it’s weightless and my fingers can’t ascertain a texture, let alone feel it in my hand at all. Am I even holding it? Is it even real?

You know what? Commands from a malfunctioning replica sounds like a great way to wind up with some kind of horrific condition or miscast a spell that kills me. I placed it back on the ground as it organizes them and all I can really say is, “Why in the name of unholy void do you have so many Fire commands?”

In leu of an answer, it picks two of the brighter ones up and places them together where they in a little pop of light become one fire command. Melding that literally accomplished nothing.

“...Okay. Can you look in this box here for a sleep command?”

As the night drags on and we fuss about magic blocks for a while before, I realized something.

The commands remain perfectly clean. Not a drop of blood on them.

Catching their hands I checked them. Each finger doesn’t match the others, but they change no more. The only thing still cycling with them is the pigment of their skin and the strange shoddy gloves it tries to grow.

They gasp and squeak out an annoying chirp when they notice it, grabbing my own hands in a strange celebratory multi handshake. I feel…strange. At the sight of their bright eyes, “...How’s about this. You’re pretty good at organizing. Organize my commands, and when you're done, I'll let you stay in my room tonight. No having to be sneaky, I'll just let you in. Provided you don’t wake me up after, got it?”

With an excited plop, they immediately dive into the work. 

Ha. Sucker. There’s over a thousand of them sitting there. I head to bed; confident I’ll be undisturbed tonight.

A knock at the door, and a Mandrake kicks me up. I take away its head as I open the door to see the beaming little moron at my feet with a perfectly organized line of commands just behind them.

Why did I agree to this? Whatever, I wanna go back to sleep, I just turn around and sit back down.

The fool can’t manage to get into the room without kicking me twice, but eventually it sits down against the wall. I'm not sure if it sleeps, but the constant feeling of content radiating off it…

Well to be honest it gave me a stuffy nose.

Chapter Text

-Day 82 -

My morning started by tripping on this weird doll someone let loose in my room, and going to the absolute most meaningless meeting yet.

The master after introductions starting with, “So it has been brought to my attention that some people, not to name names or point fingers, this is a general message to everyone. Are using words that are no longer appropriate in the workplace. It doesn’t matter if you come from a time period where they were ok to use, they are no longer okay anymore. You are in the current area and must abide by the current era’s standards. I will not have the name of the Organization sullied by rude mannered individuals. I have backups for a reason.”

Who is this for? Me? Have I said something weird? Did I name my guy something offensive at some point? Was it my guy? He can’t speak to save his life. Maybe he said a slur and I didn’t notice. 

My mission was another Wonderland trip.

I was so tempted to skip it. Maybe see if that doll really could spar. But somehow its mere existence hasn’t offended Xehanort enough yet to deserve mention so I don't want to risk what little luck I have left. 

Saix halts me before I leave, and in his business voice, “I've tried getting the Dusk’s to keep an eye out, but they’re stretched very thin right now. Xion attempted bribing Demyx to do a better job.”

“Oh yeah sure, he’s going to do a better job just for being paid? Bullshit. The rotten mess better be alive by the time I get back.” I leave.

It’s so weird. I hate this, this is not worth that Vinyl. I can’t understand a word, it doesn’t know music, I don't like small talk…! Ahh and we’ve been at this for two full hours!

Nervously tapping my foot, AH I'VE GOT IT, I’ll ask how it's doing and just have it explain to me! Let it do all the talking! Yeah yeah, “So! How ya doing?”

“Igh liev n mii skkun ashh iff n ughlli ko-oat.” With a sad depressed gurgle.

And now it’s sad I think?? Ugh this bites… 

I should find someone else… yeah I’ll just do a Dusk’s job, that would be so much easier! We’ll just trade jobs for the day!

“Hey look little guy, I'm going to find a Dusk, they're better than me at this.” I get up to leave.

It stands still watching me the entire way. Creepy. Hopefully it’ll stay there the whole time…

Okay, I know I should just stay with Demyx, or at least in that room but he’s so boring! I can’t imagine dedicating my life to one narrow subject like that. I have no frame of reference for music, the only music I've ever heard was from what he plays on his sitar, but I just, I don’t know what you're talking about?? Tell me more things like Vanitas instead of getting upset when I have no frame of reference?!

Sigh. It’s very pretty. I think. I’m not sure what to feel about it.

At least this base place is so cool! There’re hallways everywhere, with weird paneling with Unversed that hide behind. I even saw a Heartless once and I smushed it with a gravity drop in surprise. Met some nice people, I really wanna run into more! I wonder why they all wear JJ coats? Some of them have also been pretty cool. Not as cool as Vanitas. But cool.

I turn a new corner on the tips of my toes and I crash into someone. Oops! I try to apologize, when I realize my hood fell off.

She snapped, “Hay watch where your go-EEP!” Before screaming and chucking something at me. It goes into my shoulder, lowering my HP some and expelling some red liquid. Paint? Why a paint releasing knife? It's a pretty color. Pulling it out, I wipe the paint off on my coat, flip it in my hand, and offer her the handle back with a soft, “Sorry about that.”

Looking disgusted she slowly draws her arm closer, before snatching it suddenly out of my hand, “What the heck are you supposed to be?”

“Data-Sora.” But the look on her face…she doesn’t understand me either. 

Oh well. I get up, and I try to walk away. I’ve clearly made her upset-

At my back I hear extremely loud laughter, turning around, oh I gotta roll over, she laughs even louder as her face returns in focus. She accidentally drops her knife. Wait. Her hair! Is she the lemon headed demon lemon lady?

I roll forward, and pick up the knife again, rolling around till I can offer her the knife from the floor. She’s actually in tears from laughter! That’s good right?

Holding her hand out, “Keep it! I’ve got millions.” Snorting, “Oh man, are you for real? You should toss that at someone mid roll, that’d be high-larious! If I'm there; extra points! In fact, wait for me to be there. I gotta see that!”

That’s a thumbs up from me, I can do that! Maybe, dunno who I'd want to stab. My first thought was JJ for some reason. Why he’s my… well he’s at least my sec…third best friend? Or Demyx. Oh, that might be funny. I better wait for her and Vanitas. Vanitas would probably love to see that.

With a few more steps, earning me even more laughter, I continued down the hall. She’s easily amused. I wonder if that’s why Vanitas isn’t a fan? Is it from how loud she is? He doesn’t seem to like loud noises.

A gust of wind informs me of their arrival before I see him. Mr. Ansem Seeker of Darkness floats from the roof, “I see she has provided you with a weapon. The knife is good, but you can do better. Try this.” From the darkness he pulls out a sword of some kind.

“Whoa! Are you Sure Mr. Ansem Seeker of Darkness?” Admiring the blade, before taking it. It was so heavy I immediately stabbed the floor with its weight, “What if I damage it?”

“I have more. Now if you will excuse me.” He floats away, towards where the lemon lady left.

Welp. Time to keep on trucking. But unlike the knife in my pocket, the sword is really really heavy! I take a few steps but I hear loud screeching. The sword is dragging on the ground! I try lifting it, but only after putting in max effort does the sword leap into the air, the momentum sending me a few feet down the hall, ruining more of the finishing.

When I hear laughter down the hall, I look up. Lemon lady is once again in tears as Mr. Ansem Seeker of Darkness floats nearby. They have a bag labeled ‘popcorn’ that lemon lady eats between laughs and Mr. Ansem Seeker of Darkness moves his hand forward a bit. 

Oh, he wants me to keep going! I can do that. I’ll get stronger and figure out how to move with this sword.

*sccccccrrrrrrrrrech!*

And hopefully cause less damage as I go on. Maybe Vanitas knows how to fix that?

Eventually my day was ruined with Mr. Eyepatch, “Uup, that’s a nono.” Grabbing me by the hood. He ‘tisk tisked’ at the two following me, “You both should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“Go choke to death you hypocrite!” Snapped lemon. As Ansem rolled his eyes and flew away.

Mr. Eyepatch took me home, but didn’t put a rock on me this time, leaving without another word.

Oh well I can just practice heeeHEEERR- whoops!! I slipped and tripped on a rock, with enough force to toss the sword and have it plunge into the ceiling at an awkward angle.

 A few Flood try to push it out, a few Axe Flappers and Archravens tried to perch on it to get it out, but it was good and stuck in there.

Oopsy. I hope Vanitas or Mr. Ansem Seeker of Darkness won’t be too mad…

After I hand out the morning's missions, Master Xehanort asks me and Xion to assist him with rearranging his books back. By the time we were finished it was time for lunch.

For basically the first time ever, instead of having a Dusk bring him a meal he insists we all get lunch at the mess hall. The walk is deafeningly silent between Master Xehanort’s few comments and our brief responses. Just two sets of heavy feet and the pitter patter of her heels.

When Xehanort stops dead in his tracks. His brows furrowed as he stared at… a clump of green hair, “What are these?” Poking at it with his boot, “I've seen them around and in the corners.”

I sigh, “I see the amalgamation has been through here, it drops those as it…moves. Usually, the Dusks have been cleaning up after it.”

“Were they moving something? There’re scuff marks on the floor.” Xion pointed out.

It's so unusual to see Master Xehanort look genuinely baffled, “The amalgamation? What in the worlds is that?” It’s enough to make my theoretical heart stop for a moment. I can hear Xion sharply take in air to hide a gasp.

I couldn’t breathe for a moment, before I quietly confirmed, “...You were not informed?”

“Now you listen here ‘your majesty’!” Gripping the tiny fat queen in my hands, “You’re going to tell me where the fuck that door leads or so HELP ME I WILL-”

A corridor of darkness manifests and out steps the literal eye sore ‘girl.’ Today no longer looking like much of anything, “Vanitas RTKG, get Sloppy Joe, and corridor to Vexen’s lab, right now.”

Dropping the lady, her dumb cards catching her, “What the hell is RTKB?” Who the fuck said you could name MY idiot?

Her voice cracking, “Xehanort was only JUST informed about Sloppy Joe.”

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck!!

I make a corridor to my cave and thank the void itself as sloppy jalopy was there already, I have no time to think about why this is, “Come here. Now.”

They step right up, and I grab their shoulders, “You’re coming with me, you need to be on your absolutely best behavior. Xehanort only just found out about you and if you fuck this up, he will torture you until you die a slow miserable death. Am I clear?”

Panicked, their eyes open wide and they nod sharply. Terror blooming in its wake. Good.

“I mean it, you listen to every word I say to the letter, same with Xehanort. And for the love of all that is left of this forsaken world, keep your mouth SHUT until you are expressly asked to speak! Do you understand me?! Because if you don't you are going to die. Understand?!” 

They nod uncontrollably, they cross their heart, and pretend to zip their mouth shut. There’s nothing left but serious determination to live. I slap them sharply on the shoulder, “Good. Let’s move.” Creating the corridor to the lab.

Vexen’s lab is packed, almost everyone is here in a tight circle. We enter towards the rear with a pair of Scrappers. They keep the mimic propped up and behind me so it only has to take little easy steps to not make a scene. The Master was sitting on a small stand, eyes ablaze with furious anger.

Thankfully we’re not the last to arrive. Demyx you swine fucker I’m never going to thank you, but...

Master Xehanort infests the air with white hot rage, as his eyes glare upon everyone, “To all those in attendance. What is this ‘Amalgamation’ I have heard nothing about?” Strangely he gives Saix the sharpest glance.

Luxord is the first to speak. Nonchalantly, falsely admiring his nails, “Oh? You’re not aware of Sloppy Joe?”

At least the Master is purely confused, the rage quenched a bit by the lackadaisical presentation. God that name better not stick, I hate it.

Stepping forward, there is no room for hesitancy. I allow the Scrappers to pass by, who carefully set the mimic down on its feet standing in the middle of the circle. I stand to its side just behind it. This is it. I take a silent steadying breath, before, “This is the ‘amalgamation’. The defective replica that was broken a few weeks ago.”

The entirety of the Real Organization 13 stares at it. Some passively, some worriedly, others disgusted as it’s still not finished dribbling hair. It nervously stands in the center, unable to hide its tremors. But then it catches Ansem’s eyes. Where it proceeds to DO EVERYTHING I TOLD IT NOT TO DO and jerkily raises a wave to him before, “m srrby, eh loo spt swwrc n ruf n caf.” I just want to raise my hand to my face, but I grip it in a fist tighter.

Ansem nods, “You will be able to retrieve it once you are in better health.” The rest of the room turns. If there is any mercy it’s that the confusion being spread around is dulling all the other emotions. 

The old master steps down from the stand, and approaches. Forcing down its hood and staring at its messy face. Hair in its sickening growth, eyes in hideous patterns, skin flickering between too many hues… But at least its teeth have stopped changing. Xehanort circles it. It tries to track but nearly falls instead. Getting the idea to stand still instead.

“What is this again?” Turning to me, “You said it was the failing replica from weeks ago?”

I go to open my mouth, but Vexen beat me to it, “Yes indeed sir. That replica had failed to respond to any outside stimuli and was diagnosed as having completely bricked. Over time it seems to have been repaired.”

“Interesting definition of repaired.” Examining the doll again, “Who ‘fixed’ them and who's in charge of it now?”

“Both would be Vanitas, Sir.” I've been tossed under the bus. Vexen better expect this to be answered for. With interest.

The master turned to me, rage building again, “And what on earth made you think this was acceptable?”

I ready myself for a fight I knew I wasn't going to win, “I did almost nothing. I was following the exact orders I had been given. To… ‘take care of it.’ I could sense some of its emotions, and was able to respond accordingly. At some point it could move. around the time its features failed to come in.”

Xehanort scoffed, “Ah, ‘to take care of it!’ Bah, who taught you and Ventus the English language? Do all secondary meanings fly over your head? Foolish boy. You were supposed to destroy it.”

He turned back to the doll and, oh no he’s going to try and ask it questions, “What are you?”

“Ry m de pectivbe repi ca.”

“...Who are you?”

“Bani geb m mny ames.” It scratches its chin, “Ameme ge. Mimi. Looo, d o ll. Des ju fr di wi.”

Xehanort growls, “Ansem, you understood it. What did it say?”

The heartless pauses before saying blankly, “He said ‘Vanitas has given me many names. Amalgamation. Mimic. Lout. Doll. That's just from this week.’”

The master is clearly not pleased, “What is your purpose?”

At that the doll can only tilt its head in confusion. 

“Why were you made?”

“I unnuo.” Ansem didn't have to translate that one.

At the end of his rope the old man snapped, “Well then HOW were you made?”

With a huge movement it bends at the waist to get both of its arms to point at a keyboard, and wiggles its fingers on it. Someone made it by typing? Or is he trying to say he’s just born of the computer?

Xehanort just stares at the idiot for what feels like an eternity.

“Ah yes.” Dead panned, “VERY enlightening. I supposed to see if you're worth keeping around, I ought to assign a test. If you can pass the test, you may live.”

This is where it dies…what’s he going to do?

“I just need some time to decide on an appropriate tes-”

Riku Replica suddenly steps forward, exaggerated posturing and all, “Let me fight the stupid thing. If it can’t fight it’s not worth keeping around.”

Just as Xehanort raises a hand dismissively to say no, the doll snaps back. From its sleeve launching- is that a knife?! Yeah it’s a knife, right into Riku’s eye whose screams drown out Xehanort’s answer. With two sudden lurches the doll is right in front of Riku Replica and manages to kick its leg right up into Riku’s chin before yanking it back down clobbering him to the floor, knife reobtained ready to drive it back into the Replica’s skull.

Ok, the doll definitely can fight. I think. Knowing that doll, that entire thing might have been an accident.

I grab its wrist just in time, “Listen and wait for the Master's order before striking.” The crowd around is half gob smacked and the other whaling in laughter. Larxene lemon laughing the absolute loudest. I see the knife, “Who gave you that?!”

The doll made a soft, “Ohhhh.” Kind of sound, before pointing at Larxene. It babbled something, before putting a hand over Riku Replica’s wound and patching it up with cur- that is not cure. What is that?!

A diamond shaped spell of light, hovering over the socket, emptying and healing as it did so. A pure light spell? It burned my nose and eyes just being in the same room as it.

Marluxia snorted, “How did it manage that with an Esuna? That's not how the spell works.” It’s not even correct? The Riku Replica just blinked severely with the eye he’d been stabbed in and glared daggers at the simpleton. But not before crawling back in definite fear and confusion.

Displeased to the max, Xehanort asked point blank, “Impulsive, Stupid, completely incomprehensible. Why shouldn’t I just kill it now and end its suffering?”

Immediately spilling from my mouth, “It has prompt and effective battle tactics despite being severely physically handicapped.”

Larxene laughed again, “Oh come on you know you wanna see that again! Let’s give him more knives!”

The puppet girl points out, “It has a willingness to learn and improve.”

Saix mutters out, “When properly directed, their focus and patience are impressive. They can easily be assigned even very tedious tasks and complete them with ease.”

Vexen emboldened, “Their research potential should not be ignored. The data they contain will lead to less error prone replicas in the future. The info I've already gathered has already guaranteed another replica like this will never happen again.” Wait, really? I thought it was a freak accident. You can protect against things like that?

Xehanort, clearly taken off guard by the sudden string of approvals, looks around. “Well. Anyone else willing to stand up for it?”

After a few seconds Luxord speaks, “They have a fascinating luck.”

Xigbar snorts, “Is that really something to be impressed by?”

“It beat me in a game of luck.” What? I don't understand, but Xehanort’s eye twitches. He doesn’t want to let it live. He stares at it a bit more. 

Ansem merely says, “They have potential.”

Xehanort was stunned, even his own heartless vouched for the beast.

As if one last attempt, “... Can it do any magic properly?”

It takes a large silly step forward that leaves its forward foot improperly anchored, leading to it slowly slipping and wound up doing the splits, as it points at Demyx, “Hay what are you-” Before he’s cut off in a perfectly executed Stop.

Xehanort sighed. Before snapping, “Stand properly.” It launched itself into the air, rag dolling before flipping in a funny way, but it did wind up back on two feet, awaiting orders. Unsteady but standing.

Is…

Is it actually going to live?

“Vanitas. Since this… Creature is your doing, you will take care of it as its Master. You will make this a proper vessel. If at any point I think you or it are slacking, you will be the one to end its life. This shall be your apprentice; however, this is a punishment. Nothing to be proud of.”

The little doll gurgles a laugh and claps, nearly knocking itself over.

Seering at it, “Vanitas is no Master. He’s not capable. But seeing how you are no more worthy as a student it will suffice.”

Thankfully its face was still to deformed to really present the absolute unimpressed and condescending nature of its emotions at Xehanort’s words. Currently little more then an off kilter grimace. What a face that would have been…

“Get it walking like a normal creature. Speaking as well. A name, even if it's one of your ghastly attempts, I want it consistent. I expect those by the end of the week. If you could somehow make it less ugly, I might even think about letting you eat breakfast again.” And with those final words he turned on his heel and left. 

The room collectively held their breath for a moment, before many more left in their own corridors and the rest huddled around the doll. Who was doing a poor attempt at a dance.

Luxord sighed, “That was a bet I lost. Here you go, young Xion.” Tossing her a bag of money. She looked baffled but he just left. After Saix gave it a small pat on the shoulder, he left, and for the most part the room then totally cleared out. Only Ansem and Vexen remained.

Vexen let loose some air with a wipe of his forehead, “That was too close.”

I couldn't help but put my hand on top of the doll's gross little head, “You are so stupid lucky you're alive right now. At this rate you're going to use it all up.” My head feels light. I really really hate this. It just laughs like the stupid moron it is.

“Well since you're in the area….” Vexen pulled out the cables. 

Two days. Maybe one and a half if we’re lucky.

I don't count on it. Ventus believed in dumb things like guardian angels, if they existed that thing was tapped out, no one can be that lucky.

The doll happily pulled out of its pockets a set of commands. The ones we had set aside for killing the Remnant.

Ansem nodded, “That meeting gave us more time. You might be able to get two tries in today."

I'm going to need my damned corridors if I have to train someone. I grab my commands and we head out.

The first attempt goes poorly. Maybe a life-or-death struggle after a stressful event is a bad idea. I don’t want to count it.

In terrible news as the doll healed me mid battle, the Remnant healed itself. No cheesing it that way…

The second goes much better. I landed 12 clean hits, and while it wasn’t as weak to Aero magic as I normally am, it still didn't like it. One time the battle dissolved into running around a rock till it was open to strike it with the Aero magic. It retaliated with a blistering X shaped slash. Why the hell does it have light magic?!

The next four attempts didn't work out. Frustration was building. For every step forward, every hit, every out maneuver, I felt like it had another trick up its gruesome sleeves to leave me in the dust. 

By the time the Heartless had to crawl out the 7th time that day, Ansem forcefully grabbed me and ended the fight.

“Let me go! I can-!”

“Get yourself killed.” Ansem squinted at me, “You are not used to cure magic at all. Every fight you progressively got sloppier. Not just from anger but from the cures building up in your system.”

My head feels dizzy, “That can happen?” I turned to the doll who looked just as confused, “Did you know that?” They shook their heads no. I feel terrible. I look to the ground, before I start to fall towards it.

…

When the shower starts on my head, I gasp startled, when did I move?

“You fainted.” Ansem explained. I don't remember the next thing except being put in the cave, the whole thing spinning. The doll had no idea what to do, so it just sat beside me and rubbed my forehead.

It didn't help. Stuck being a shivering mess on the floor… So much for being the ‘master’.

-Day 83 - 

My headache, crippling, followed me into the meeting. Where Xehanort’s loud crackly voice, “And where is your creatin?”

“...You want me to bring them to these?”

“In the future, yes. Have them stand beside you.” he smirked, “I see that you are swaying in the wind like you used to after our training sessions. Getting knocked about by your old power?”

Oh, I'll show you old man…

I use a half day card with Saix. I explained it with Ansem, who’s real mission that day was easily forged. Why the hell am I trusting this aspect of Xehanort? What is he scheming? Why hasn’t he beaten me yet? Or told Xehanort so he could at least toss me off a cliff?

This time before I start, I have the dinky doll keep an eye on my commands and this time use the stockpile of Vexen’s items and Vile Phials to heal with. Especially Vile phials. Dark magic born cures don't have painkillers so they don't make you as loopy. Never should have even bothered with real cures.

Five attempts. And every attempt, I'm getting closer. While Ansem offers no hints, Needs-A-Name will squeak when it realizes an attack going off, or if it's about to back stab me. It’s not a ton of help, but it’s letting me avoid pointless damage.

Turns out it’s not a particularly healthy Unversed, but it hits hard enough not to need it. I added Tornado back and decided to use it like Ventus used it, as a literal tornado to toss at the hideous creature. Catching it in one is painfully funny as it tumbles about helplessly. 

Damn it, Ventus must have always been laughing at me.

At noon high, my 20th attempt for the day, Ansem forces me to stop, “Here. Drink this. Eat this.” He tosses a water bottle and a sandwich at me. A Dusk slithers off.

I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth and I down both. As I wait for the food to settle in my unhappy stomach, I find myself wondering out loud, “What the hell is this thing really…? This doesn’t feel like my power. I can’t even figure out what emotion that Unversed is made of.”

Ansem reacts as if I’d asked him, he states slowly, “It… in a sense is not really yours. As you are now at least.”

Huh? The fuck does that mean?

I look at him. I expect more.

Somehow it earns me more, “That creature was made after you merged, then perished. That is why it is stronger.” 

My heart, sharp edges and all, constricts. I know that. I knew that. But having it confirmed feels…the only comfort is the anger from knowing now that Xehanort had been lying to me. Sending me on another fool’s errand to suffer.

“You see, as far as I'm aware, the beast has but a snippet of your original light. It’s not a necessarily a remnant of you but of your failed Union.”

It has a tiny bit of light? So, it has a bit of…Ventus. 

And that's what having a bit of light can make me?

That must be how I lost to Ventus. If that’s me with a smidgen of light then that cheating asshole must have had a smidgen of darkness, maybe even a whole chunk… Did one of his little friends give him some? Terra?

But didn’t Xehanort always say that the purest of lights and darkness were always the strongest?

Before I can spiral, I find a set of glowing commands in my face. Unnamed has been trying to give me specific commands for a while now. Since I don't want to think about my failures any more, I grab them. “Okay okay! I'll try out your weird commands.” Looking at their bright text I'm… completely lost. What’s the strange crowns on them? Explosion, Triple Pursuit, Quake, Chain Rave, and Judgment Triad…

Shit, that last one sounds badass.

I equip it and… SNAP! A horrid snapping feeling up my arm to my head down my spine. Ouch what the hell?! “This better not paralyze me for life or something stupid.” Standing up, “I'm going in again.”

Ansem nods, and No Name bounces up and cheers me on. Please don’t. What if Xehanort’s paying attention? I expel all pointless Emotions before I fight. Thankfully I have gotten Undocumented to stop mimicking that behavior after the third time. The pile of sickening animals sit by and also cheer. A cat thing, a moogle thing, and a... thing.

I step into the arena and once more, the fight is on. I’ve found it loves its dumb barrier, so I just have to dance around it and its stupid effects until it's over. I've gotten better at dodging, and in general I'm calmer. I can do this. It won’t be easy, but I've been through so much worse to get to this point.

The Remnant air slides at me. Cartwheeling to the left, I find myself falling back into the proper dance of one-on-one combat. Then at last an opening; the Remnant missed a lunge and I found myself right up against its back, a perfect time to try out that new command. I activate it.

For a second, I can't feel my body- ITS MOVING WITHOUT ME STOP STOP DAMMIT HELP!

My arm without prompt, my eyes without say, even my brain forced to do something, math?! All control is completely overwritten by the command. In an unnatural way my body does a leap, tossing Void Gear, somehow splitting it into three that hones in on the Remnant. All three collide into it creating deep gorges into its body.

It was the most visible damage I had ever done to it.

DON’T CARE; NO, THANK YOU! 

As it’s reeling, I ripped the command away and chucked it at Untitled. They looked bummed out before squawking, and I was back in the fight. 

It was one of the farthest fights, I'd say over half health easily, but I was too disrupted by that command. My body was freaking out; every time I used a normal skill connected to a command I felt ready to pass out, fully expecting that sickening effect to happen again. In the end Ansem had to bail me out.

By the time of the evening meeting, I wasn't any closer. Ansem then informed me, “We are also done with this for today. I also cannot do this another full day in a row.”

I groaned in annoyance but I was beat. My body was screaming for a break. Unannounced figured it was cure time and… yeah once I felt my back snap back into place I could agree. We’re done. Turning to face them, “You ready? It’s going to be your first meeting. Just…Keep quiet and only speak when asked.” I gave them a long glare, “I'm your Master this time. I’m serious about this. I will punish you if you don’t obey.”

It gurgles a confirmation. And we all booked it to the meeting. 

As we arrive, I wonder how the hell am I going to climb the pillar with the wriggler on my back. It’s not heavy or anything, it's just going to be awkward… Then ‘Xion’ the puppet thing took Nomenclature-less up in a corridor. It was a relief, but for a moment my eyes must’ve tricked me because she looked like Ventus. That Remnant must have hit me harder than I thought. As I struggled to climb the pillar, I started thinking that Ansem was right. I needed a break.

Taking my usual position, the doll had the good sense to park itself right beside me. Gripping onto my coat for dear life, staring at the distant ground, afraid. Seems it’s not used to heights. 

“Good evening my fellows of darkness.” Xehanort prattled, “I see today we have a brand-new parasite joining us.” Pointing at us. The doll made a feeble wave but was visibly shaking. “Is it scared? Is it truly that pathetic? Vanitas surely you can do better than that.”

My heart was still pounding in my ears from today’s fight so I just ignored the master's taunting. The doll heard the taunts and attempted to buck up. It still gripped my coat, knuckles pure white, and I could tell when its eyes peeked at the floor, but it tried.

The rest of the meeting was uneventful. The normal budget concerns, some weird damage to the hallways, Kairi’s whereabouts, Sora’s whereabouts…He’s now in some place called the Caribbean and the way Luxord’s talking about there's non-zero chance of Sora defecting and living the rest of his life there. But the fact there is a chance at all is…strange.

But then again Sora sounds like a terrible Warrior of Light. Why was the master so obsessed with him again?

Nothing that important. Though the doll was paying attention to every word, having an interesting cycle of emotions that went something along hearing a bit of info, accepting it, before thinking about it and then being very very confused. Or Concerned. Or mad. The mad never really went away. 

When it was all over, Xion gave Fucking-hell-why-is-it-so-hard-to-pick-a-name a corridor down. Didn’t make me one. Ventus-looking-ass Bitch.

Demyx was forced to corridor us to the base for showers. These feel like such a waste of time… Why’s Vexen wasting so much of our time with this?

Today I stole the pink haired dudes (at least, I think that’s a dude) soap. Smelled like flower petals, it's gross. 0 out of 5 would steal again only for convenience.

Mid way through the shower, John Doe squeaked, then rubbed its eyes. Turned to me startled. They’re eyes had stopped changing.

One eye was just gone. The lid shut, with a scar across it. The other was bright green…with a spiral pattern? I guess it wasn’t the weirdest thing. Maybe when it's all over Vexen can just give him a proper form. I'm pretty sure that’s the plan. 

We finish up and Demyx looks bored as dirt, “Man this sucks…”

“How do you think I feel? Now move it.”

While the unnamed doll was very active once it got moving, tonight it had far, far too much pep in its step. “What the hell are you doing?”

It held up one finger. Ah. Yeah, I guess as much as I'm looking forward to it being normal, it’s probably even more so.

All fixed up and proper. Working, walking, running away as fast as it can. Maybe.

And now I'm its proper master. I actually HAVE to teach it things. Letting it move freely. Likely teach it corridors. A tool they could use to run away and I might actually never find them again.

Prepare it as a vessel.

That… last one might be difficult. I don’t check on it that often, but its heart is still grey in a way I don't think Xehanort would appreciate. The concerning holes might actually be a good thing, a place for Xehanort to effortlessly place the fragment of his heart in. 

Hey wait a second.

HEY! This is my Dol- T- Rep- uh, apprentice? Yeah, yeah this is MY apprentice! And yet here’s Xehanort trying to take it from me! Make it one of HIS vessels!

Asshole! Hell no I won’t make them a vessel I'll just… I'll just make it…one of my…minions? I look around the room. It’s not like I need the labor… But my goal. To get… a conversationalist. Finally putting it into words has certainly made it lose a bit of its luster. In fact, it's lame. Why am I doing this?

Has this really all I've been working towards? And now it has become known to Xehanort and is a full-on punishment?  …Maybe when they're fixed, I can still do the other plan…I’d just have to find a way to take cure off them first.

I remove my helmet and pinch my brow.  I don’t know what I want to do. The last few days have been nothing but a killer headache, and here I am stuck with indecision of all things. 

…Happy Assertive. Happy assertive. I look up and see my Nameless Moron beaming at me. 

“...You're lucky I put up with you.” But I let it sit there making its pretend compliments.

Lucky. Ha. Maybe if they were a dog…

Since it’s too wiggly tonight, I left it in the center. Unversed gather around it.

Chapter Text

-Day 84- 

Now, Wild Bruisers (the ones that look like gorillas for some inexplicable reason), are really rare. Relatively speaking. Yet my middle room was now filled with them and the-one-I-AM-naming-today does what loosely could be described as a dance in the center.

“That's it. All of you single file better go jump off a cliff.” The Wild Bruisers all snort and leave while the Nameless doll in the center looks sad but gets in line, “Except you stupid, you stay.” Its joy is…almost contagious. But there's a meeting to get to.

“Vanitas, tell it to stop moving.”

“I have already.” Placing a hand on top of their head, there wriggling stilling. But only for as long as my hand was on them.

“Command them, order them, punish them if you have to.”

Getting lower to them I try whispering, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“To nit ot nie.” Whispered with a wriggle, “F ph e ph b.”

“Cool. Stop it.”

“Vanitas!” Shouts the master, frown deepening, “You're inept. Small creature, explain yourself.”

The doll paused in panic and then just said, “B-bee! Fuff o bees.”

Everyone stared baffled. Xehanort especially. I could tell he’s completely lost track of everything he was thinking of. For a full minute he stood there staring, obviously thinking before shaking his head, “Vanitas you are a poor influence. You went out of your way to teach it about…bees?”

“I have no idea where the hell it learned about bees!” Grabbing them, “Tell me!?”

“Twi I tow.” Adding it to the list when your mouth is fixed you rotten gremlin.

The meeting continued, but every time Xehanort glanced our way he glared daggers at the doll. But the doll still lived another day. Lucky bastard. 

I have a name for you, ya little idiot. But it’s going to need some work shopping…

Why do they wanna find Sora? And not just find him, but stalk him?? What did Sora do?? Are these guys the bad guys?? Why are they wearing all JJ coats? Was JJ wearing a bad guy coat? Are these guys stealing JJ’s good guy cloak?? Why does so much of their budget just go to ‘miscellaneous funding’? Who's miscellaneous and what are they doing with that much munny?? Why are they also tracking Kairi?? Who else are they tracking? Riku? The King? Is everyone ok? Who is the organization accountant because they can’t be doing alright?! What is happening?! WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

Ahhhhhhh!! What is going on?!

My mission today was- Unversed creation at Monstropolis?!

I had to keep my screams of frustration inside, I thought I was FINALLY done with all that! 

I hate this!! I hate this i hate this i hate THIS I HATE THIS.

Whatever… I got pretty fast at it. Kinda. I can just... Do it again…

After all, it's not like the clean-up could have been that effective. Not with how weird their timescale is. Right? Right…

“Saix.'' I shout at my most loyal servant. “Bring me the abomination’s amalgamation.”

It took him a second to realize what I meant, the fool, but he did eventually bring me the…thing.

Foul. Sinful creature. I have read Vexen’s new reports on the matter but I believe him to be a hopeless romantic. This thing? A spontaneous creature born of fragments of data? Bah. A glitch. Nothing more. Nothing less. Bad data got into the replica somehow and rotted it from the inside out.

As the useless thing crawls pathetically on the floor, I observe the basic nature of its heart. Disgusting. I summon Dusks to bring me the proper equipment and lash it to a table. A proper evaluation of the heart is wasted on this creature… 

But I shall not lie. The fact a heart could come into existence from contact with only one of pure darkness doesn’t come along very often. I had not even thought it possible, given Vanitas’s crippling lack of social skills.

As the data appeared on screen the temptation to remove its existence returned. Unnatural creatures don't deserve to live, let alone one with a heart so corrupted. Both the light and the darkness in its heart were compromised. Not even in a way that was useful.

Perhaps the light is artificially cultivated? Vanitas has been up to something, but I doubt he would have thought of something that complicated. But there are two holes. Suggesting maybe he pulled something out of them. Likely failures. This piss poor quality of light would accomplish nothing.

After a while the creature began to struggle. I thought about leaving it there, but I think I have a better idea…

Who just thinks they can lock up all my Unversed and chuck them into Arendale?! These clowns! I hate them! I hate them all! All my Flood are going to rip off every keyboard key and steal all their printer ink goddamn I hate these monsters!!

I never wanna go back there ever again.

With absolutely less than zero help from the leftover not-mine Unversed I made it back fairly early, at least for Monstropolis. Which is good. Don't want to miss out on the little moron’s time limit.

I make it to Saix, who's looking…rustled and feeling greatly disturbed. 

“What's going on?”

“The… meeting has been greatly delayed. The replica is with… Master Xehanort in the library.”

Damn it I barely get one day and he’s already murdered behind my back?

I sprint towards the library. As I draw closer, I hear something that makes my skin crawl: Xehanort laughing.

Flinging the door open I see him in his large puffy chair in the center with a table with various things on it. Practically falling out of said chair, looking the happiest I've ever seen him, “Aha! Vanitas!” Laughing still, is that a tear of laughter I see in his eye?! “Here you go. Your burden. It was certainly a delight to keep an eye on him.” 

What? 

What what what?? What.

The master’s light, normally a small piece of his shitty heart, was practically glimmering. It’s nauseating. 

Who is this what's happening?? The doll frustrated, trying in futile jest to pour tea. From the stains and pottery on the carpet, this ain't its first try.

“Look at it! Its elbows don't move correctly! Every 36 minutes, nearly to the dot, they lose control of all their limbs for a bit! Isn’t it so strange? Like it's suffering from some Sisyphean curse. I’ve had them do a number of tasks; their knowledge gaps might even be worse than your own.” 

I don't say anything. I just approach my apprentice and help steady their hand to pour the stupid tea.

“They’re randomly smart enough to understand the ruins of magic on the back of a fire command, but to hampered to actually speak it.”

“How do you know they know it then?”

“Syllables still lined up, plus the spell still activated.” He pointed to the wall, “Clean that ash off my wall.”

I sent a few Flood to go do that. Sent a few more to pick up the floor just in case.

“Oh, here’s another!” Holding up two books, a blue and a green one, “Which one of these books is purple?”

They confidently point to the green book, “See? Absolutely wrong! If they had chosen blue, they might have been able to argue but nope!”

I turned to them, they’re dumb but so far seem to have reason, “Why that book?”

With jittery steps they point to a corner of the book. After some staring, I realize they're pointing to nearly unseeable purple text.

“Pfft! That’s so foolish. Plenty would still consider it very wrong.” With an absolutely grating laugh. He sat back in his chair still laughing away, “They don’t even understand temperature; watch this!” He points to the doll, “Tell me; what temperature is fire? Does not have to be a specific number, just a word, a feeling?”

It looked confused, and sat there thinking. Xehanort motioned me over and whispered, “See? The gears are turning. It seems it has been hit in the face with fire. But since they're unaware of temperature they don’t understand the question…!”

The doll looks up, “Ro oo m Te m p?”

“Ha! He thinks it’s room temperature because he can’t actually feel the difference! Hilarious, you’ve got your work cut out for you boy!”

Teapot still in hand, the thing began tumblring towards me before it accidentally tossed said teapot, spilling tea on my torso and shattering the pot on my head. The doll roughly tripped and grabbed at my hand. I just lifted them back up and began to walk out, the master howling at us as we left.

“HE FORGOT HE WAS HOLDING THE TEAPOT!” 

Saix walked in as we walked out. He’s nervous but not showing any of it.

What are we going to do with the extra time before the meeting now?

“Saix. Keep an eye on those two. Not constant surveillance but I must be made aware of the creature’s inevitable disobedience.”

“Sir?”

“Vanitas both lacks the intelligence to teach another, and the ability to see when he’s in too deep. Pair those with the complete lack of empathy and soon ‘Sloppy Joe’ will despise him as much as he despises himself.” 

“Is that why you let him keep that replica?”

“Please, do you think me so kind as to let it live without purpose? No, Vanitas will learn the trials and tribulations of being a master to a worthless student. Soon the humiliation will drive him to inevitable violence and his apprentice will begin to plot against him, just as he plots against me.”

Saix with a skeptical look, “Vanitas is plotting against the organization?”

“Very much so. Think of this as a way to both slow down his plans and provide us with some entertainment.”

Chapter Text

With the meeting delayed, we wandered the desert with no goal in particular. The doll grumbling and seemingly ranting. Very understandable mood, even if the words were as lost as ever.

Ansem approached after a while.  He opened the portal, “I have a good feeling about today. You’ll take that beast’s head before nightfall.”

During my mad dash to finish my worthless missions, I had plenty of time to really contemplate a proper plan. But just to be safe as I did a few warm up stretches I went over it again in my head.

The Remnant nearly always opens with that barrier ability, but a quick slash will interrupt it. If it still goes off, it’s not nearly as tricky as I thought to dodge, it just requires prompt awareness of my whiff and being fast. That cross shaped beam attack hits like a truck but the range was actually quite pitiful. Left itself open to, at least enough for basic strikes. If I catch it as soon as it misses I might even be able to pull off something more extravagant. Whatever I have available, it’ll do. Thing actually doesn't seem all that healthy so every bit counts.

Not that I'm much better. I really can’t afford to get hit much at all.

Its shock-lock was no joke. Probably the biggest danger to me, a short range deceptively dark blast of light. What a little contrarian. In the past I'd been tricked by that darkness, kept making me think I could tank it, but that core of light just tears into me. Absolutely devastating but it was very punishable, if it missed I could for sure get behind and launch off a Tornado. Watching that guy tumble around like a beanie in a hurricane was amazing. I wish he didn't look like a sun bleached me. 

The last thing I have to remember is counters. I like counters, it likes counters, so I just gotta remember to counter his counters with counter counters. Easy. 

I’ve got this.

I approached the Remnant. I didn’t feel tense, I felt focused. With a new load out of commands equipped, dozens of attempts under my belt, and not a single thing that could randomly steal my free will, I was ready. I’ve got this. Ansem could feel it. Even my Do- apprentice could. Rattling from so much anticipation, they grabbed me and held on tight for nearly a full minute before they could stop. 

Tonight, I show him how a Master fights.

As predicted, the Remnant tried immediately retreating into its barrier bullshit the moment I got close enough, but a quick goading jab forced it to backflip away before it could cast the barrier. It rushed towards me, but held my distance before sneaking in for a few strikes. With an actual game plan, I’m able to land several hits but the monochromatic moron is still stronger and faster than me. 

I fake a swipe before hopping backwards, gaining some distance between us, when I feel its gaze home in on me. It’s setting up its shot lock.

Here we go. 

The beam comes out, and I jump over it before air sliding behind him. Shuffling through commands I start prepping Tornado. Just as its feet touch the ground, I cast it. Sweeping it off its feet sending it spinning, dealing a massive amount of damage. It’s poor landing and even worse response let me sneak in an extra slash, then cast an extra blast of Aeroga before I had to go back on the defensive. 

It’s limping.

I can hear the doll as he screeches in happiness. This is the closest I’ve ever come to beating this thing, and I’ve barely taken any serious damage! 

It closed the distance with a quick thrust, much in the vein of Terra’s air slides. I side step it just barely as the Remnant zips past me and I have no time to think before it tries again. This time striking me right on the leg, sending me recoiling to the ground as it lands next to me and starts swinging. karma sinking its teeth in for the overconfidence. Instinctually I hold out a block; a mistake.

Time seemingly slows down as I feel the Remnant gaze lock on to me again. I don’t have enough time to dodge this time. I’m stuck in the point-blank range of a shot-lock.

Shit.

Shit. shit. shit.shitshitshitshit!

The beam hits and all my nerves scream out in pain. My sight goes white. Panicking I try to cartwheel to the left but I'm too close to the Remnant and my bad leg fucks it up. The Unversed just moves the beam hitting me with it again. I can feel my left arm give out and Void Gear dematerialized. If I don't do something I won’t just lose, I’ll die! Out of desperation I start gathering my own focus to possibly retaliate and start pushing through the beam hoping I endure long enough to swing at the thing again. Right before it ends, I feel myself hit my limit.

I fucked up.

I’m going to die.

The beam burns into me before a shrill sound reaches my ear and I gain a sudden second wind; like a jolt of pure adrenaline up my spine and into every nerve forcing me to tank it. I don't know where it came from but I'll survive this time.

The Remnant stops the attack and its feet hit the ground. I go to get one more jab in when I see a large black figure crash in between us.

Ansem had seen enough and sent in his Heartless, thing, pet? His pet to pull us apart.

“Butt out old man!” I scream. “He’s mine this time!”

Calm as ever. “No. You have lost again, Vanitas.” 

“I’m still standing!!” I bitterly seethe. My leg feels ready to give out and I could barely hold myself together, but I refuse to drop, I won't show weakness! Victory’s too close at hand! But with how weak my leg is I could feel the weight of something on that side of my belt. Glancing down a spot of green catches my eye. Clipped to my side, I see a weird little green and gold charm hanging off of it. “What the-?”

“Had it not been for the accessory the unfortunate one had attached to you, you would be dead. Now come along, we’re leaving.”

Ansem had begun to make his way towards me when it happened.

Ansem's Pet fell for the Remnant’s trick.

Appearing behind the large dark figure the Remnant brought down its keyblade, the Heartless’s Servant narrowly slid forward almost completely avoiding the attack. The shadow itself was unharmed but the chains that had been wrapped around it were struck. With loud crack they shattered. Turns out the bitch’s keyblade was a real mint.

Ansem’s hover ended midflight causing him to eat shit, a look of confusion was washed away as to reveal a look of horror as he realized what had happened. All Expressions I never thought the master possible.

Suddenly the Servant appeared before Ansem and grabbed him, lifting him into the air.

‘Zz e heeh noo rtt!’

Ansem broke free of the Heartless grip but I could tell it was sloppy as he fell to the ground again. Before reaching towards me with his hand.

“Vanitas! As the Heartless of Master Xehanort, I authorize your use of dark corridors, take the boy and flee!”

Like hell I am! This is my chance! My Remnant was only a few strikes away from defeat and now it’s distracted by Ansem and his stupid unleashed pet. When will I have a better opportunity?! I can do this! I can hear the sound of my heart in my ears, one wrong move and it’s all over, but I HAVE this. I grit my teeth.

Maximum effort.

No mistakes, just victory.

I charge the Remnant.

I don’t even get close before the Servant seemingly out of nowhere appears before me grabbing my helmet with one hand and slamming me into the ground. This close, even as a Heartless, I could finally recognize it when it tried to speak to me.

“Va ni Tus!” 

Ansem’s thing he’s been using to pull me out of the fire, the Heartless the master of Heartless dragged around like a sick joke of a pet was… Terra? 

Terra.  

MOTHERFUCKER KEPT TERRA!?

Ansem tackled TERRA THE HEARTLESS before grabbing me with some magic and shaking me like Master used to.

“DO YOU NOT FOLLOW ORDERS?! I TOLD YOU TO RUN!”

I pulled myself together and screamed back, “YOU HAD TERRA’S HEARTLESS THIS ENTIRE TIME?! WHY WOULD YOU KEEP HIM AROUND; HE’S A GODDAMN NUKE?!” There were a lot of other questions like ‘how does this pureblood got a heart’ but there’s bigger worries. Like dying.

“Aw sum!! b hnd u!” The doll tried to let out a warning but it only distracted the two of us as we got lost trying to parse that nonsense.

The Remnant took this opportunity to cleave deep into Ansem’s back, forcing him to let go of me. Before Terra’s Heartless tried to grab him again. “Curses!” he said while pulling what looked like a large bottle filled with green goo and stars. He tossed the bottle into the air as the wounds he and I had suffered stitched themselves together. I hissed a curse but… the Remnant wasn’t healing itself?

“Vanitas, I will deal with my other half, you keep yours busy until I can pull you two out, and you, unfortunate one…” 

The doll pulled from a cloud of static what might have at one point been a shield with the royal symbol engraved on it.

“Good you’re ahead of me.” Ansem praised the doll like he could do anything with that dinky thing. He was no Goofy. I’m sure of it, I live with the stupid thing and checked.

“Now begin!”

Ansem charged Terra, and the Doll meandered in the Remnants' general direction. The Remnant however was getting indecisive. Head glancing between the three targets. Wobbling a bit and leaning harder on its left side. Perfect.

There was a time limit. I had to win before Ansem got Terra under control again. I’ll have to get risky, but this is it.

I rush the Remnant; I can hear the flopping of the doll behind me but I try to keep my focus on the fight. The Remnant was definitely interested in striking something behind me, the flops never stopped so it was probably the Terra thing or Ansem.

The Unversed dove into its barrier before I could reach it, unleashing its army of shadowy clones. Most of which were targeted at me but some of them flew past to the others, making it so much simpler to dodge. Should have been using the doll as my meat shield sooner.

I tried to stay focused on the Remnant but with all the extra targets and it’s wildly changing aggression I'd constantly get clipped by thing’s not meant for me as I whittled away at it. Sometimes it would swoop back to me directly and I'd take several blows that frankly I didn't need to take. Before I knew it, I had gotten my ass re-handed to me, piecemeal style.

Calm down idiot. The Remnant was weakened already and rushing clearly fucking failed. It was time to fight smart again. The Remnant seemed ready to fall apart. The doll called out confirming what I had already thought.

“On maorrrrrr!”

One more (probably). All I needed was one more hit. It was time for the counter-counter.

I rolled to the right, slipped into a dark corridor while at the same time setting an illusion of me to act as bait. My illusion made an obvious fake swing and missed by a comical amount. As I thought, the Remnant tried to capitalize on the whiff and swung at the illusion. But my illusion caught him with a fast jab. Void Gear effortlessly passed through its illusion as the real one appeared above me before its Void Gear cleaved through my illusion. IT FELL FOR IT!

With the ringing in my heart loud in my ears I almost screamed as I leapt out of the darkness. Bringing my blade down to finish this asshole for good.

“GOTCHA!” 

My confidence immediately shattered as I received no feedback from Void Gear as it made contact with what should have been the Remnant. Is it an illusion?

Oh.

Oh no.

Time once again seemed to slow down as I turned to see the Remnant above me bringing its keyblade down upon me. 

Was this really it? My mind was racing for a solution but none came. Am I really going to die to…myself that already died? Before I could contemplate too hard on how stupid that sounded, a flash of black, a quick thumbs up, and the doll with his shield stood between me and the monster.

I think it was trying to block the attack with the shield, but as previously stated: he’s not Goofy.

God, I wish he was Goofy.

Instead of deflecting the attack the idiot just took it for me, likely unable to coordinate something that simple. Plus, the way the Remnant was swinging the doll got launched into me, both of us seeing stars as our heads bounced off the rocky plateau.

Utterly dazed, the doll clutched its head. I had to push it, “Dammit get off me!”

The doll kicked me while trying to roll off of me, then it saw one of the Remnant’s shadows dart for it. It made an effort to smash it with the shield and instead the shadow flickered out of the way leaving the doll to smack ME with all that force.

“Gam sore ey!!” Panicked to the core, without a second of thought just Do, it babbled before the son of a bitch cast Curaga on me! Causing the Remnant to heal itself in turn!

All that work.

All that effort, wasted. 

My best attempt after hours, after DAYS, RUINED!

A tooth bounces off my arm. Blood drips off my hands. A jagged breath brings the churning in my head down. There’s laughter and prayers. Void Gear is weightless, it’s slashing effortlessly through a meat filled husk. 

It deserves it. It’s killed us all. 

Panic chokes the air, boiling over in a symphony of fear, accompaniment brought by regrets. It tastes of sand and iron. Confusion, betrayal, familiarity, regret, endless pooling regret, all to drink and drown in. I laugh. I’m strong. Crush it beneath my heel. I keep laughing. I am powerful. I am the Master I must kick and break and defile twist it into power anew. Again and against. It actually thinks it deserves it.

Live long enough to break and break till nothing remains of your truth.

The power Xehanort lorded over my head, I take my fill. Refreshing. Return to the fight with a mere pivot. Victory is inevitable; why It can hardly focus with that fear blinding it! There isn’t any sound but the soft wet gurgles in the wind.

Block, dodge, slash, step, step, step, the dance is easy, it’s clear, I will win, step step, slash, slash, slash. It’s afraid, it languished it leaps back it-

It feels acceptance! It knows it’s gunna die. A smile creeps onto my face, it almost hurts how easy this is gunna be!!

StepSlashDodgeSlashStepStepStep- the acceptance suddenly cuts off. All of the emotions are gone. But it’s still alive?

I couldn't finish my next thought, let alone my next strike, before a searing pain digs into my back. The Terra Heartless grabs and drags me across the rocky floor before smashing me right into the canyon wall. The glass on my helm annihilated.

Reality returns back in sharp focus. With a blink and a cough, I vomit up Unversed. A ton of Unversed. A metric fuck ton of Unversed. Terra darts away from some attack.

Oh, what the fuck just happened? I grip my head desperately to hold it together. Punch drunk is one thing but then there’s this! The world’s spinning and that piece of garbage is still alive. Damnation, I wriggle out of the wall and check my injuries; not all that bad. The fight must be going well cause i'm in better shape than the Unversed stealing my look.

I rolled my shoulders and popped them. No matter. Free of all emotions, rather refreshed all things considered, I better clean up before this idiot kills someone.

The Remnants attention has returned squarely to me, deciding the other two will likely kill each other before it can pick off the weaker one. I can’t sense the doll right away, the coward must have finally run. 

My arms felt light as I let the Remnant come to me. I was in the zone now. Dancing around the fools attacks I felt of all things, a bit nostalgic of the first time I fought Ventus. What they have in common…

Weaklings. His moves were easy to read once you stopped overthinking. I wasn’t able to land more than a few hits at a time, but this was a battle of stamina and I was winning. The Remnant had been limping and now could barely use that leg. I had neither been hit or used any commands.

Out of the corner of my eye swinging Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, by his ankle, was Terra. I almost forgot they were even here. I burst out laughing. Going to get punished for that for sure, but it was worth it.

My side began hurting. Then my face began hurting, the Remnant took my laughing fit as an opportunity and struck me hard sending me flying.

Thankfully it tossed me into something that softened the fall. Scrambling to my feet that hit must have hurt me more than I thought cause I'm covered in blood, nearly slipping over the dolls shield. Where is that thing anyways? It almost feels like they're not even here- I spot the body. Did I kill it? I know what a puddle of gore Void Gear makes looks like. NO; the Remnant must have. Why would I do that? No time to think, I have to roll out of the way of another cross beam. It collides with the doll and sends the body flying- ignore it. There's a fight.

The Remnant retreated into its barrier and shot its weird clones, half at me, half towards the cor- doll’s body. It’s not dead. It’s faint, but the heart is still there.

…

It was always faint. Always. Stop wasting time.

To counter the Remnant’s charge I launched a Dark Firaga at it which it avoided with no trouble, countering with another blasted cross-slash. I cartwheeled out of the way, why did I even pack Dark Firaga? Panic blind I can’t remember. It fired yet another beam, but I heard it connect with the doll. At that moment, the dull gray cut out.

My shitty heart decided to start panicking. Why do I even bother?! You always knew this was going to happen! My mind was flooded with thoughts but I forced them out as a Shoe Gazer squeezed itself out of my chest.

With no time to think the Remnant had closed the distance between us and started swinging.

When suddenly catches on fire.

Eh? 

My senses are shot; sensing a heart that isn't there anymore. To the side I see it, the doll, hovering in the air. Somethings wrong with its shield, the emblem gone, the black now an actual void. Its body is floating, what is-?! Ignore. You’re Fighting! The Remnant nearly takes my head off for the distraction!

It’s only a few more wild swings and dodges before I see in my peripheral that the doll is definitely doing something. Glowing a little bit, something's ripping out of its coat, armor?-what the hell is coming out of the shield a DOG?- VANITAS IGNORE! FIGHT!

It seems I wasn't the only one distracted, the Remnant too stared. I knocked it down with a shot lock and earned myself a moment to breathe… Then another to hurl Void Gear at it as hard as I could.

“Why?” An unexpectedly soft, elegant feminine voice came out of the blue. I turn to my left, expecting a woman, and instead face the tri eyed bestial head that came out of the shield. “Why waste upon a Volatile Moment?” Clearly a Heartless, but I've never seen a Heartless look so…pensive. “Why must you continue this? It believes grace as only a charade.” It was talking to itself. The Remnant, seemingly enraged, charged up and hit the blasted thing with a point-blank shot lock.

A complete no sell. The ground around the beast was burnt to glass but the shot might as well have been a flashlight for all it did to the creature. It ignored the Unversed’s attacks with little more than an unimpressed snort. Cold colored fire was spat from its jaws and immolated the Unversed again. Staggering back, it seemed to be afflicted with something nasty, clutching its head in agony. Poisoning? No, that wouldn’t make sense, it was visually atrophying.

I summoned back my keyblade, setting off a Tornado as quickly as I could, sweeping up the terrible reflection. Its health went from standing to shredded in only the span of a minute.

Ansem was getting distracted from the developments, taking unneeded hits and scattering confusion all over the air. Especially when the doll, in a small dusty explosion, appeared beside the tumbling Remnant to punch it savagely. Hard enough I could hear the crunch over the wind. My tornado raged on. It didn’t even nudge the doll, normally a flyweight. They just kept punching.

The Master’s Heartless knocked Terra aside for a moment, before shouting at the doll, “What manner of creature are you?! What have you done to the unfortunate one?” Suddenly summoning some type of double-sided Great sword. His emotions were a strange mix of intrigue, concern, and of all things for a piece of the Master…fear?

The shield the doll held turned to face him, the dog face scoffing. With no heart it couldn't actually have contempt for me to detect but it made impressive use of body language, had it pupils I could imagine it rolling them in disgust, before tossing another fire at the trailing Terra who was somehow frozen. I repeat Fire made Terra Freeze. It vanishes in a puff of smoke again. My tornado ends. Ansem’s feelings are overwritten at the opportunity to get Terra back under control, quickly summoning new chains.

In my ear I hear a whisper, “Your trespass shalt be answered for. Dare again, and I will do more than rob you of victory.” My eyes dart around, adrenaline raging; where the hell had that-

Out of the corner of my eye I saw it. Somehow the Remnant dropped to its knees and collapsed, little flames slowly burning it to cinders.

It’s over. 

I'm shaking. Is it over? It can't be I'm not- I didn't kill it-!

I can’t hear anything but my pounding heart and something like a shattering bomb. The Terra thing swoops past my vision, and he darts off into the desert.

After a minute of nothing but buzzing I heard Ansem shout in the background. About what, I don’t know, I don't care, I can hazard a guess.

My head hurts. Everything hurts.

An explosion of dust happens right in my face. When it clears, the shield and its puppet stand before me.

The Heartless form of master- why is he pulling off his shirt- ignore, points his bladed weapon right at the neck of the beast. It remained unmoved. He hissed, “Explain yourself.”

“No. I have no reason to. This is no concern of yours, this is between me and Nothing." In a harsh rolling growl, "You unbold enough to walk in flesh ought to get out of my way.”

Ansem’s composure almost broke. “So, you are a Heartless. Or at least a Heartless shaped entity.”

“Twice ignoble birth.” Ansem looked disgusted, and it just snorted. “Your judgment means nothing. You are just as unbearable as the traitorous Ava.” Leaving a weirdly devastated Ansem and turning to face me, its milky yellow eyes bore a hole to my core. Jabbing the doll's little finger into my chest, “Dig into the child again and my namesake shall be your destiny.” 

“...What?” Was all I could force past my lips. 

“It is threatening you.” says Ansem. His composure: destroyed.

“Yeah, I got that part!”

Without another word the shield in a brief glow returned to its previous form and the armor around the doll's body vanished in a glitter of light similar to something Ventus would have. The doll itself collapsed into the sand, and with a tired groan looked around dazed, rubbing its head.

Its heart had returned, it was properly there. Dim, gray, and full of holes. It’s body somehow intact again. The desert winds carried what was left of the Remnants ashes away. That Shoegazer hobbles up and helps the doll to its feet.

It’s over. I think.

Fuck I’m tried. I lumber on to my feet, when did I even fall, and stare out to the distance. Terra. Do we have to deal with that now? That's going to be so much worse…

I witheringly looked at Ansem who shrugged and seemed just as lost.

We started to walk away but then I turned to Ansem and pointed my thumb at the doll, in a near scream “What was that?”

The Heartless looked lost, “I wish I could tell you but I have no idea. I’ve never seen a being undergo such changes.” He dropped a bit lower to look the Malaise Malefactor in the eye, Shoegazer hissing, “Who was that? Who was in control when you were unconscious?”

The doll looked horrified, “uwuh wehe WHAT?”

“You were seemingly possessed.”

From the terror it was clear it didn’t know either. At least the added confusion that fueled it made me think it wasn’t actively trying to hide something.

Today sucked. I rubbed my head, “Tell Vexen?”

“Tell Vexen.” Ansem nodded. “Alright. Who’s ready to leave and…” He pitched his brow, “Deal with that other unleashed terror.”

The doll grabbed his coat and pulled a bit, muttering, “me mmme bbing.”

“Shit. Bureaucracy. I will never forgive Xemnas for this.” Ansem waved his hands, “Care to do the honors? You’ve earned the right.”

Did I really? Sighing, I opened up a corridor. We took our positions and waited. Mission complete. I guess…

I don’t feel any stronger.

Chapter Text

I am… very confused.

One second, we’re in a desert, Master Vanitas is fighting a spooky ghost Vanitas the next…  Caution  //##<!--/*REM*/–/!><!----/!>?? What does that mean?? 

Something happened for sure. Did Vanitas get the ghost? There's a Shoe Unversed at my feet. I like them. But they seem nervous too. Mr. Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, is covered in dirt and is not wearing a shirt anymore. Vanitas has a death grip on the hood of my coat and is also covered in dirt, red grime, and wounds. Is it to make me stand up? Hold still? I’ll try to do my best to do both, he looks really tired. 

For some reason deep in my core, I get a really really bad feeling about using cure. 

When everyone finally arrived, Mr. Ansem loudly announced “Xehanort.” Gesturing towards Vanitas, “He did it.”

The old man looked shocked, gob smacked as he turned to face Vanitas with a frightening look, “Oh? Did he now?” he looked ready to strangle him, “So, where's your proof?”

I think Vanitas glared back, hard to tell with where I'm standing, but he somehow grips even harder, “What? What did you think a remnant would have a keychain or something? He’s dead, I have two witnesses.”

Mr. Ansem nodded, “Indeed.” I guess the other was me, maybe? I nod. He looks funny. Worried? I wish I knew what was going on!

The old man was mad, but forced a creepy smile, “Yet… And yet you haven't seemed to have improved at all.” His eye is twitching. Did he not want Vanitas to do it? “A test. Yes, a test! Fight someone, and prove you are worthy of the corridors.” The old man glared about before pointing to the Riku lookalike, “Riku Replica! Let’s see your progress as well.”

With a snap of his old spindly fingers, we were all in Dark Corridors, and were taken to what was basically a pit in the desert I hadn't seen before. Vanitas and Riku Replica stood across from one another down below, whereas the rest of us stood on the high ledge. 

I was so close to the edge, my foot just a few millimeters from meeting a hard rocky fall. I had to back up or risk my legs giving out, or worse disobey into the wrong direction.

Ansem Seeker of Darkness stood by me, “Watch and learn. I have cured your master’s greatest flaw in combat.”

I don't understand, but I wobbly get up to stand beside him and watch. He’s so confident! Maybe this won’t be so bad.

That Riku takes a familiar stance, “Get on with it! Fight me already!”

Vanitas just snidely says with a fake bow, “Ladies can take the first shot.”

Riku’s mad about that and goes to bark a response, but finds a keyblade slashing at his face instead. The fight is on, and just like before Vanitas fights dirty.

Darkness filled attacks fill the arena. The clash of blades rings in my ears. My eye has trouble tracking them when they're darting around so much. The more I think about it, I don't think I've seen too many real fights from the sidelines. The closest I could think of was Donald and Goofy, but they fought nothing like this. It was impossible for me to figure out how they were doing, Vanitas was already covered in injuries and this fake Riku screams about everything. Are they okay? This can’t be a fight to the death, right? It’s just a test…isn’t it?

“The battle is almost over.” Ansem said rather sinisterly, “Vanitas has figured out his prey.” What does that mean?

It means when Riku Replica got desperate and attempted some kind of flashy attack, Vanitas struck with a powerful Tornado. Not like the ones he used against the ghostly guy, but one that was filled with all the metal swords from around. Vanitas flew atop one and chucked powerful magic I could feel all the way up here. A sudden assault that completely overwhelmed the fake Riku.

One of the silvered haired men had to step into the field somehow to get the Riku out of there, and with a loud but emotionless call, “This battle is over.”

Vanitas flew back, lowering the power of his spell, dropping swords all over until he hovered on a single one to the edge we all stood on. Casually walking off it and letting it plummet. He stood beside me, with a new layer of dust but no new injuries among them.

The old man looked like he wanted to strangle him.

With another snap we were all returned to the pillars. Xehanort looked with a mangled expression on his face, “I see. Vanitas from now on you may once more make use of the Dark Corridors. May the meeting continue.”

Saix quietly started the budget talks again, and the rest of the meeting was brief and tense. They didn’t even talk about Sora this time. Ansem seemed to have more to say but wasn’t saying it. I want to ask but my mouth still won’t make words correct. I hope it's all over soon, I want this to end already! 

Over time I could feel small things, they seemed to crawl along my back. Eventually one crawled around so I could see it; a Flood. A tiny tiny Flood. Boss is really worried… As carefully as I can, I put it safely in my pocket along with any more that I can reach.

The meeting ended and Vanitas immediately made a dark portal and dragged me through it. Vanitas sighing in huge relief. It must have been like having your wings cut off. Before the door could close behind us, a head poked in, “Excuse Me?” 

It’s Mr. Vexen! I wave to him, Vanitas just snaps, “What do you want?”

Vexen said, “Oh Ansem said you wish to speak to me, please do so after your shower; you’re positively caked with blood.” And pulled his head out.

Vanitas flung me about as he screamed, “YOU AND YOUR GODFORSAKEN SHOWERS!” Marching on out of an exit before making another one.

I wonder why he hates showers so much? Or why Vexen wants them so much? The questions never end.

Showers are silly. First, we normally just stand under the water for a while, trying to get all the dirt off, before Vanitas remembers the soap. Then he opens a random locker, steals a bottle and dumps half of it in on our heads.

“Wolfthorn…? This smells nothing like a wolf.” He grumbled, “Nor a thorn. I wasn’t going to take Saix’s but I read ‘Wolfthorn’ and I had to know.”

Halfway through the shower I noticed that only a little of my hair was falling out. I tried getting Vanitas’s attention but he was staring at the shower head too lost in thought to respond. I wish I could just do that, but then my eye would work even less.

Eventually he looked down at me, and I pointed at my hair. He stared without a hint of anything before roughly running his hands through it a few times, the last of the loose hair finally falling out.

After so long I finally had cycled through all of the hair Ava had collected. I waddled out of the shower to look in the mirror. Blurry and unfocused I could still just barely make it out. Its final form was several hundred tufts of several hundreds of colors and lengths that didn’t go together, making an ugly puffy colorful mess. But it was done. It’s gotta be soon! It’s gotta be soon! 

A big silvery lock of it keeps getting into my face, and I keep having to blow it out of the way of my one good eye. Vanitas dropped his hand on my head again, “Another step closer.” Before trying to run his hand through my hair again. It got snagged though. He had to pull pretty hard to get it out. He seemed like he was going to say something mean but then stopped. He put his hand down. “Soon. Soon this will all be over.”

I couldn’t help but smile all the way back to Vexen’s. Vanitas is right. Soon.

“Possession…?” Vexen drawled clearly not believing us. 

“I don’t know a better word for it!” I’m so sick of this shit, what else could it be?

He spun in his chair to the computer, tapped away before, “...So there was an error logged. I imagine this was the ‘possession’ you saw. It’s just a bug caused by the long delay between starting and properly initializing, it’ll clear itself in a day or two.”

Vexen turned to the doll, with a weird soft smile, “You must be very excited!” It nodded and chirped. He turned back to me, “If it happens again, which it won’t, then we’ll deal with it. Go home, bring it in when it’s done.”

All I could do was huff in annoyance, “Fine. But if I get bit by a dumb shield with a dog face, I'm blaming you.”

Vexen raised an eyebrow, “What? Do you mean a Defender Heartless?”

“I don't know what it was, it was a dog’s face in a red shield. What do you want from me?”

“Curious.” Vexen muttered, before shrugging, “Mysteries for another day. Goodnight you two.”

Rolling my eyes, I waited half a second too long before remembering I could make corridors all I want now. For a moment I thought about not taking the stupid thing back with me. But it will be fixed right? That dog will be gone? Whatever. I could kill that stupid shield if it ever pops up again. Glory snagging bitch.

Back in the cave and the mood is unusually… light? 

Normally I'd be mad at something like that but, the idiot I've forgotten to finish naming, was no longer making a huge mess everywhere. The Unversed had been regularly stealing its excess threads and its colored hair to make weird nests out of and those all looked to be finished. Nowhere did the doll look normal, but nowhere did it look like it was changing anymore.

Tonight has to be the night.

The idiot hopped in a big circle with a ton of Hare Raisers, Wild Bruisers, and Vile Phials as Flood chittered all over. Archravens and Axe Flappers hung lower to keep an eye peeled. Even rare Unversed crawled out of hiding to watch; a Floating Flora kept dashing past the doll’s legs tripping them up. A Prize Pod nervously shivered toward the back. That Shoe Gazer glared at me funny all night.

Mandrake crawled out of me every time I thought about what I did. I can remember it now. It felt… incomparable. The thought of doing it again…! My mouth waters. Another Mandrake crawls out. I shake my head until that madness takes shape and slinks off to a dark corner.

It might need more time but… tonight. It might be tonight. Something in my gut says tonight. I don't wanna miss it, lumpy sure wouldn’t want me too. I keep conversation to a minimum. Mostly just letting them roll around and babble, and do embarrassingly childish rubbish all over my cave like play games. Trying to watch this loser play tag is honestly a sport worth paying munny to watch.

A Chrono Twister nags me all the while. It’s hours past when I’d normally sleep, which isn’t going to kill me, it's just going to make the meetings an ankle biters paradise and I might just lose my Corridor privileges again. It’s obvious Xehanort didn’t want me to get it back. But I'll manage.

It's weird to think that before I didn't have a set sleeping schedule. I miss looking at the desert at night. And the fresh air. Could Xehanort just keel over already?

Tonight’s lighting was provided by some very luminescent greedy orb dropping blob mother fuckers that were a pain in the ass to make. They make the whole cave glow with no fire risk at least. Idiot doesn’t have enough night vision, going to have to work on that. Or maybe it will be dealt with when he’s got a real face? What’s he gonna look like when he’s done? Me again? Will he have my night vision? He didn’t last time but maybe the stupid eye changing thing broke it- shut up. Shut up. Stop. Just stop Vanitas.

At some point, a Flood bounces off the doll and leaps onto a- “Why is there a SWORD in my ROOF?” They panicked and took a breath to blabber but I cut them off, “You can tell me later.” Honestly… It’s cool. Maybe it’ll fall and kill one of the inspectors.

Hours pass. I try creating a corridor, but the barrier still blocks them. It’s insufferably stuffy. 

Just as I was about to give up and just have a Yellow Mustard zap me awake at the first sign of something, the doll freezes mid motion landing on the floor. That Shoe Gazer bounds up beside it all weirdly. A Hare Raiser rips the hood off. It's almost like before all that time ago, only those mismatched hideous features all vanish, resetting back to the blank white plastic.

We all held our breath, as it took a moment to just lie there, but then just like before skin and hair grew, its hands twitched with life, and a big set of blue eyes popped open.

It's a strange thing, like a younger me that couldn’t have existed. The hair is the wrong color, a brown, the eyes are Ventus’s, could this be what we would look like merged? But why younger? Why wouldn’t it just be our original face again? I can only see a little bit of the clothes between the torn holes in the coat and I can't really tell what it is other than being red. Something is wrong with me because I have to pull my hand back from touching him carefully. Why do I want to do that?

I expected cheering and prancing about but instead it barely managed to sit up and now it's stuck on its knees, eye locked upwards, and gasping little bits of air. The Wild Bruisers made a move to grab him-it? But the glaring Shoe Gazer and squad of Hareraisers all but mutchled them for even approaching, strengthened by the Not-Doll’s building fear.

Advancing cautiously, because it's my luck and something's definitely gone WRONG again, “Hey? Everything, uh, everything functioning correctly?” In the face of their wheezing, “Ah, anything not working?”

Forget building fear, they freefall into a deep terror as they start to shiver. Tears and snot start streaming down his face before a gasping choking noise crawled out of its mouth. A few wet coughs before the raspy noise escalates to a shrill scream. 

From zero to completely overwhelmed in a matter of seconds.

Unversed from all over start scattering in a frenzy as the doll scratches at its chest; not the barely controlled illusion of movement it had before but a direct deliberate attempt to claw off the coat. Fingers getting caught on the zipper pull, legs kicking helplessly at the coat, motions too hysterical and not making progress. An unimaginable level of disgust seeps out of them at pace with their terror.

Why why wHY WHY?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS SOMETHING?! Why can’t anything go right?!

Void Gear is deflected by the bossy Shoegazer, its shield flinging it off to the side. I’m so sick of this garbage! It never ends! Why won’t something just work for once?! My fingers press into the sides of my helmet, I hate this, I hate this. The glass starts to creak under stress.

Flood and Scrappers alike attempt to grab the doll, but at the first one it jolts up in fear and wretches on the floor. The Unversed race off grab rags and a bucket. 

From all the wheezing I finally made it out, “Va…va…nii…t- tas!” Their hands rattling weakly toward their chest, face twisted in pain, “Ch-ch… est. Someth- wrong.”

Defects. A cold sinking feeling runs down my back. Vexen warned about defects and we KNOW something’s been wrong. How could we have ever hoped for it to work?

Pushing aside all the Unversed, I finally grab them and it’s not much of a better reaction. Trying to rip their arm away like as if I'd put them to flame. There is definitely something wrong with their breathing, no rhythm or sense to it. With my full weight I pressed against their shoulder to hold them down, but then they just started trying to kick me, “Damn it hold still! Will one of you worthless abominations hold his legs down?!” A pair of Scrapers leap to action. The bossy Shoegazer hops in view, right beside the doll's head, “What the hell’s your problem?!” It hisses, lowering on its haunches like it's trying to threaten me “Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it, stab me? I don’t have time for this!” Unversed wish they could stab me!

Carefully I get that stupid zipper loose and unzip the new one below it. There didn’t seem to be anything visually wrong with their chest but a single touch with my fingers was cause for a huge wave of discomfort and disgust, a sharp flinch before all they could do was curl away pathetically and vomit pure bile in the bucket. It almost stings, but I'm a bit too distracted with how furious I am at the concept. I've touched them plenty of times before now, what’s different? I didn’t even try to hurt them this time! “What the hell’s happening? What are you feeling?”

“S-som- some thi-ing in. I N.” It was like the words hurt to say. Being forced out part by part. On the last syllable their teeth clicked funny and blood started to dribble out their mouth. They gave up speaking and pointed to their chest. Something was IN their chest?! Nothing had gotten near them! I hate this, I don't know what I'm doing! We can’t even leave to get someone who does!

Fuck it we make it up as we go along. Turning their head away I put my ear to the chest, earning a new round of panicked thrashing and kicking, “Hold still! I’m trying to listen!”

One terribly upset stomach, breathing completely out of control, and a heartbeat so fast and faint I'm amazed they’re still conscious. Nothing sounded wrong, nothing my senses could pick up seemed wrong, are they playing some sick game with me? What could possibly cause this kind of reaction? But the horror is real…

“What EXACTLY do you feel?” At the sound of just more of their feeble cries I pull my fist back to hit them- YOUCH! My arm suddenly has two holes from-That shoegazer actually stabbed me?! Ungrateful little shit! I grab the stupid thing by its pointy bloody antenna and toss it away.

“Some- thin.” Their tears would not stop, their terror consumed them. “I shou’ld’nt. Fff. feel. Any-!” You are trying my patience, what do you MEAN?  

“All I can hear is your heartbeat an-” That confusion. That revulsion. It’s too raw! It’s too honest! “What do you mean you don’t-!?”

I can almost hear it. Vexen mentioned it off handedly. 

Simplified nervous system. 

It’s not the doll’s stupid fault. It’s Vexen’s stupid fault. It's not playing games. It’s just terribly disoriented. Trying it’s best to explain but thanks to Vexen’s big ideas it’s completely unprepared for actually being alive. It doesn’t know. 

It just doesn’t know.

I get off the doll, and order the Unversed to give it a bit of space. Dissipating my helmet, I take the chance to pinch my brow as hard as I can and take a few breaths. This sucks. This really fucking sucks. “I don’t know what to tell you man, this sucks.”

From the floor I could only mostly sense their suffering, but there was a tiny, itty bit of hope. When I turned back to look them in their eyes, though their face continued to be trapped in abject agony, that bit of hope grew a little more.

I blew out some air. Rubbed my temples some. Guess I'll still be talking to myself for a bit. I summon my helmet again.

Pointing to their chest, “You feel something in there, right? Something... Let’s say fluttering? Just nod. You don’t seem to be in any condition to speak.” My head cooling off, I think they might have bit their tongue.

They do nod, but with a dose of fake annoyance and fake joy. Our little code remains. “It’s gross huh?” Again they nod, with even faker annoyance and a little more real joy. “Unfortunately, that’s important and can’t be removed.” Devastated. Stop that. “You’ll get over it. Same with breathing. They’re…important.” I feel so fucking stupid. Tired. Goddamn this is dumb, “At the end they’re the only things that matter. If you're missing them, you’re not alive.” My exhaustion is crashing down on me. This is so lame.

But they’re still listening, calming down by a considerable margin. They try to sit up, but who knows what part is causing them distress. If Vexen made it so they couldn't feel their own heartbeat, what’s the chances it understands the feeling of their clothes? Of the rocks underneath them? Of the air touching their face? Of gravity upon their entire body?

A blistering headache free of charge robs me of more thought, compounding my growing agitation with the situation. How much worse can this day even get?

Bed. That’s it, I'm going to bed. Day over. Fuck you. I stand up, and make my way to the other room, “I’m leavin-”

“ST-ST AY!” Sharp painful dread strikes them, worse than ever before. Even worse than when I nearly killed them. Lowly muttering under their breath soft repeated no’s that slowly grew more upset and panicked as they desperately and foolishly attempted to climb to their feet and walk towards me. They only made it two shaky steps before their legs gave out, or more likely the sensations were too much and they had to stop, collapsing to the floor.

Pathetic. 

So truly and utterly pathetic.

Barely able to lift from the floor, in a whisper, “Don-don’t leav ve m-me alone…” My stupid body turns to look, their stupid small face devastated. Voice so much weaker but unsteady with tears still endlessly streaming from their big unblinking haunted eyes, “Please don’t leave me.”

It needs a name now. I can’t just keep pretending.

But this is weakness. It always has been. I should be laughing and stomping him down for this. As the Master has done for years. I've worked so hard to avoid those moments, training my whole life, but this thing has never even… I should.

Instead, I find my traitorous hands picking it up off the ground. Holding it from under its arms, I let it dangle limp and helpless. It’s dumb little incorrect face staring at me. Ventus’s stupid eyes, for once not judging. Just staring. That worthless hope rekindled. Why do I run off only a half a dozen brain cells when I'm tired? 

I pull down the zipper to my coat, “Look if it would help you get over it faster…” I place their head to my chest, unsure if they could even hear it through the Dark Suit, “I have a heart beat too. Basically, anything with flesh has one.”

At first, they're silent, holding very still to listen, before a much more normal emotion returns. Curiosity. Wonder. I can see their eyes open wider and their mouth uselessly attempt to string together words in a question. It’s clear now, they bit their tongue really bad.

“That’s enough of that.” I just toss them under an arm and take them with me. The bucket and rag holding Flood scurrying at our feet. Bossy Shoegazer already in position to glare all night. What the hell's its problem? It’s a Vanitas of tomorrow issue.

I shove them as fair to the side as I can, before turning away. Ugh, long long day. I thought it would never end…

Eyes are staring at me. Not Unversed eyes. The breathing hasn't really stabilized much either… outside the occasional yawns.

Glaring back at the angry shoe I demand to know, “Has this thing ever slept?”

‘None of us have ever seen it do so.’ It squints, ‘Give it a potion.’

“No.” Rolling over, it looks exhausted. Stupid freak. Just close your eyes and stop thinking. I rummage in my pocket for a moment before finding the exact command I want, “Sleep ya idjit.” The spell cast with the sound of baying sheep.

For a moment, less than a second, there's a stab of shock and fear, before it's eyes finally shut. It’s breathing slows some. It won’t be very good sleep, but that should keep it quiet for the night.

Rolling back over, I sigh in frustration, “Why am I doing this again?” Was any of it worth it? I mean right now it’s making noise and being warm that's so annoying, is it sick? What if it’s sick forever? I'm never going to get to sleep like this…

Chapter Text

It’s fun falling asleep. Falling into a real sleep.

At home it was more pretend than real. The few times I've really dreamt… well most of them were in here. I can always tell cause the pushy reindeer has to get me moving.

I’m in a place that’s as unreal as it gets. What I thought the cave looked like when I couldn't see anything. It’s funny how off I was! I never really encountered too many rounded rooms so I just thought it was a square like everything else. Much flatter too. Like home. 

A cheerleader waltzed up to me, but now I know that’s just another name for a Flood. I thought they were like thin cats with bird faces and rabbit ears. Dunno why I thought they’d be gold and scaly. A real Flood, with its gorgeous blues and rippling flesh bats the wrong idea out of the way. I’ve never seen something as squishy as a Flood.

It doesn’t belong in this room. This little flat boring room. I pick them up and head out the door.

Outside in the real room is Vanitas and Mr. Null. One with his helmet and blurry face, the true him. And the other…kinda just looked like Riku and Sora got tossed in a blender. I’m not very good at making up faces on my own. I don’t think Ava was either, considering she absorbed them from people. 

They’re in the real cave, with all its gorgeous detailing and Mr. Null now doesn’t look like he fits. Simple and blocky, next to Vanitas he looks kinda freaky. Is that what I look like next to Vanitas? Is that why everyone hassles him cause I'm extremely ugly and don’t fit?

Real Vanitas removes his helmet, which is a bit weird, he doesn't really do that and the few times I’ve seen it my eyes wouldn’t or couldn't focus. All I could ever make out was a blur and his black hair. Arugh, now I just wanna wake up to see his real face!

“Bahh!” The pushy reindeer bops me. 

“I can’t help it, I wanna see him!”

“See who?” said the real Vanitas.

“You.”

“Not me?” said Mr. Null.

“Not really, no. Cause I've seen you for you and it’s Vanitas.”

“Oh.” Mr. Null faded away.

Helmet back on Vanitas grabbed me, “Let’s go, we have things to do.”

My head hits the back wall. I’m suddenly actually awake.

There was definitely more, but I don’t remember the rest of the dream.

-Day  85- 

I had a dream.

I don’t have dreams. For as long as I've ever lived, I've had nightmares. And even if the dream ended with the cat dying and the owl appearing again, that was no nightmare. I want to go back to sleep…

With a jot I awoke in a cloud of Archravens, just for them and my head to bump into the Chrono Twister who was dropping down to wake me up. Why did that hap- What- why is it so warm in here?!

“Owww…” Eh?! “...Va…ni?” The… it. It needs a name. He peels himself off the wall, shakes their head, then rubs his eyes, “G’ m….” It tries to speak. Clicks its teeth and mouth funny before softly humming to itself in self-directed anger. “G’ mor… orn ing.” It was low, segmented, laced with a gentle happiness and that special sort of loathing when dealing with something truly putrid. 

It’s not the same. My mind won’t think of them the same. No longer just a doll it’s a person, a real stranger in my house, and I can't even pretend they're an animal anymore cause they breathe all normal like now. They yawn and blink and look around, all over with blooming curiosity. Like this is a new place to them, like they haven't been in here before. 

Looking down at my blotchy rug they seem to admire it, unconsciously verbally “Ohhh…” and rub their hands on it slowly. As if it weren’t just a scratchy splotchy rag. They look up with a smile, “Cow!”

What? “Cow? What do you mean by that?”

“Ani… Ani…” It tries before huffing, shaking its head before making a motion like a silent call. One of the strange dogs it summoned a few weeks ago scammers in, barking all disgustingly cheery. He picks it up and says, “Dog. S-” before gagging hard. “S- S- ugh. Uh…Dot. Dots-” Nearly retching. The hiss of S made them feel ill. A Flood brought the bucket closer.

Being defeated by a consonant. Pathetic. I could keep speaking after I lost teeth and broke others, there’s nothing wrong with this thing’s teeth… Just to be sure I check. They're fine. For some reason it thinks that was funny. Vexen’s such a complete moron.

When it recovered, “Cow. Dot. M- any.” Pointing to the rag. Apropos of nothing, “Mooooo!” Another long pause, just staring at me, “Cow.”

“You made that up.” That’s not real. Standing up, “What kind of animal would have a pattern like that? That’s just a signal flare asking to get eaten by lions and tigers and Goofy.” That got an audible chuckle out of the floor monger, “Maybe they're real in some weird backwater world, but not this one. Get up already.” 

Just as I start walking, they grab my hand, face suddenly frowning, “W-wait…” They glanced nervously at their legs, distress obvious, looking back for guidance. The questions in their eyes are easy to see.

Genuinely, “It’s fine. You can stay here if your legs don’t work.” Don’t get my hopes up.

“You’d-?” They moved their hands around as if trying to tell me something, touching their face. Shifted around, “You wo- uldn't.     Be  mad?”

How do I word this without totally pissing them off… “I fixed you, because I wanted to talk with you. Not because I wanted you to move. Moving is… just a bonus. I guess.”

It was sudden and stark, a little laugh they didn’t even expect to have. They beamed a huge smile to me and it unfortunately unleashed pure gratitude right into my retinas. Heart but a dim gray was still bright enough to burn.

They seemed to ready themselves, but I sensed the doubt slip in before it crossed their face, their eyes unable to meet me as they darted about, embarrassed “I- Are you…” a wince, “...sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“But  what     if-”

I start pulling them up, “It will be fine. You almost had it yesterday.”

“Even if I…” Already huffing like they’re exhausted, “can't stand?”

This fucking- “Kid.” I point, “You are standing.”

He looked at his own legs with a soft gasp, shocked as if they had been removed and replaced when he wasn’t paying attention. Looking back up to me flash-banging me with joy, with huge heavy gaps in between, “Look!     Vanitas!    I'm!     standing!” Yeah no shit, it’s almost like I told you or something.

His mystified feelings wouldn’t leave my head as I watched him try and take stock of his legs. Sure, on his face he just appeared happy, maybe froze up a little as he experimented with shifting his weight from his toes to his heels and back, but on the inside, there was this small but nagging confusion. That obnoxious kind when something’s been the same for ages and then randomly it’s changed. 

After another moment to gather himself, and for some reason slap his face a little, slowly, with extremely even and smooth steps he followed me out to the main cavern. His dumb shoes are blisteringly yellow, but very wide, and help keep him steady even as he gasps looking around the room. I want to ask so badly. 

It’s not just me either, he wants to speak. I could keep seeing his lips starting to form words but something would stop him. That needs to be fixed ASAP. That rotten Shoe Unversed follows along at his heels, and makes sure to announce itself loudly to me as a- “TRAITOR YOU ROTTEN TRAITOR!”

That thought left my mouth loud enough to startle Felix into leaping in the air and crashing down on the floor. I almost feel bad. That stupid boot and a fresh Mandrake helps him back to at least sitting up, the not-a-doll rubbing his head and face scrunched at me like I hurt him.

Which I might have. Uh, “Look I was yelling at the shoe.” Pointing to the thing currently stomping down on my foot angrily. I should kill it, but I see an opening. I hold my head for a moment before trying again, “Ok, today isn’t starting off on the right…foot.” That got them to crack a smile, and I kicked the stupid boot away, “I was thinking about saving this for a better time later but really the sooner you get your name the better.”

For just a moment they're thrilled to the moon but then it's doused by some kind of realization. They titled their head, face dropped to a flat neutral. 

“...You're kidding me, right? Are you seriously not excited that your Master has thought of the perfect name for you?”

Sitting up a bit tighter, and taking a deep breath, “I.    have.    one-”

“NO.” Jabbing them on the nose, “Your name is NOT ‘Sloppy joe’! Or any of those other things anyone has ever told you! Any name anyone has given to you prior has put no thought into it! They just saw the first thing and forced it on you! This name is a name I put actual work into, your MASTER has put thought into this name. Just for you! You’d better wear it with pride.” Bullshit but I did finally figure one out.

They go from unenthused to ecstatic, holding their breath in anticipation, hands together up to their chest, eyes glittering in growing excitement. It’s way more than I would have expected. 

Shit did I just over-sell this? They're going to be disappointed.

“Felix. Fēlīx; it means lucky in the same language my name is from. Pronounced like Felicia; if I hear that weird improper version, I'll make sure to make you suffer for it.” That threat feels so hallow. “I wont answer five of your questions.” That actually seemed to land and Felix nodded sharply in understanding.

Before smiling and whispering again, “Lucky?!” pointing to himself surprised, “You, Think?”

“Do I think? Yeah duh, I’ve seen it with my own two eyes! Your entire existence is the result of luck. How long it will last, I don't know. Your life at this point is just a test to see how far we can push it.” I had thought about Fortunatus and a bunch of other versions but all of them felt rather pretentious. Faustus sounded to old, Fortuna to feminine…

Shaking from his sheer zeal, he pressed his curled hands to his face, as if trying to hold something back, but I could barely hear it as he whispered to himself, “FelixFelixFelixFelixFelix!” The intensity of his emotions actually brought him to tears. Or maybe it was the x, that can’t feel great when s also feels like crap.

After his fit, he climbs unsteadily to his feet, with a sharp, “THANK you!” Along with a bow which was weird. 

“Don’t thank me yet. As my first decree as master, I demand you always try to talk verbally before giving up.” Damn it, I made it too passive and not strict enough, “Even if it's the worst feeling ever.”

He- Felix finishes that up with a nod, before shaking his head sharply, “Y-Yes!” He gets up and walks to me, something about his gait looks wrong, but I can’t even think about it his stomach practically roared. Startled, he looked around like a dumb bird. He doesn’t know about hunger. Of course he doesn't. He doesn't know anything!!

“That’s your stomach dipshit.” Felix looked down at his chest baffled, “It means you’re hungry and need to eat.” He touches his chest. I grab his hand and lower it to his stomach. Now he seems even more confused. 

I can’t let this disrupt the meeting, Xehanort would never let it go. But I can't just go to the mess hall. I'm banned at breakfast time. Then I remember I have corridors. We’ve got some time. “Whatever, I can get you something for now.”

After a moment Felix seemed agreeable to this and nodded. Titling his head. I sigh, “I take it you don’t really know what that means do you.” He wobbles his hands in a so-so measure. 

Then catches himself, “I’ve    never.      Seen.”

I’m not allowed breakfast, if Xehanort found out I'd get my face shoved into the nearest stone wall. But not them, they haven't been given any punishments yet. Felix will have to do with only instructions. The Prize Pod from last night hadn’t left so I signaled it over. The large pot floated with great hesitation. It knows it’s going to die.

But what to give? What do you feed a freak accident? Staring at the pot in contemplation, I shout over my shoulder, “Oi, what food do you eat?”

“N…None?” Then shook their head, “I… I mean                I have.              Not?” Looking green around the gills already. “Uhm…. w-what……. You.          Like?” Practically having to squeeze the words out of him.

“Jeez if that's just talking, you're in for a hell of a nightmare.” Thinking about what foods a Prize Pod could drop a thought occurred, “So, what is it about talking that’s giving you issues? Your mouth broken or is it just the feeling?”

Felix licks his teeth, and mutters softly, what I think is ‘the pain.’

He’s in pain? Vexen's incompetence is unmatched, if I were a researcher Master would have beaten me for work half this shit. Or maybe it’s just the bite from last night, but it was probably Vexen. “Then why not use cure on your mouth?”

Felix looked at me funny, but then seemed to think about it shifting into a ‘oh that's a good idea’ type face. He touched his cheek, casted cure, and promptly fainted.

What? His eyes had rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed to the floor in a pure ragdoll. I kicked him and he didn’t react. Damnation he’s got no tolerance for cure now either. I went to kick him harder but he groaned and woke back up with an annoyed, “Bleh! That felt weird- hey this is way better!”

FINALLY. Got him talking and yet I’m stuck WASTING it on health questions! I crouched down to him, “Great. Excellent. First question, what the hell was that.”

“I dunno. I’ve never felt anything like it. Thanks for the help!” His face turned red, he placed his hands to his cheeks and turned his head away with a comedic expression, “I’m really sorry you’re probably going to hear both of those a lot.” Before turning back with a blinding smile, “But seriously, your plan totally worked! It’s so much easier to talk like this! I can’t feel my mouth at all.”

“That’s a first for me, someone who talks better not being able to feel their mouth…”

“Well up until yesterday I've really never felt anything like this before. But yeah! Now if only we could get rid of the paint forever. Stuff feels gross.”

That makes enough sense I guess- wait, “Excuse me, paint?”

“There's paint in my mouth!” Looking grossed out, fingers angrily curled in the air, “Why?? Who put paint in my mouth? It’s sticky and ugh! I have to actually move my mouth to talk now and that’s already hard enough to get used to but the paint is the worst! Yuck!” Momentarily sticking out his tongue in disgust. Revealing no paint. 

I stare. I stare very hard and take a breath. The day has only started Vanitas. It has only started. “So why do you think it’s paint and not…spit?”

“I've heard of that. What’s it again?” Taking their finger and scooping out a blob of slobber, “Isn’t this paint- why is it clear? Is it water?? Was water always that thick??? What is this stuff?!-”

I grab their stupid wrists and say plainly, “It’s spit. That just…lives in your mouth. All the time. If it isn’t bad things are happening. Don’t ever do that again.” I wipe their gross finger on their coat. The only benefit of this interaction being the new hoard of Blue Sea Salts made. I’m going to need them.

“While your mouth is working, I'll ask again; what do you eat? I’m limited on what I can get you on my own, I've only got Prize Pod food. Do you at least know if you're going to die if I give you anything specific?” Ventus is allergic to peanut butter. Which is weird cause I'm not. Just hate the way it tastes, gets stuck in the jar, and how it's hard to breathe afterwards. 

Shrugging, “Anything that So- hm.” Looking weirdly guilty before, “Uh, why not just give me something that you like!” His false joy flatlined to another guilty, “I've never actually eaten before. Ever. I don’t have a clue what I can or can't eat.”

“I don’t like food. It all tastes like nothing.” It’s all a huge waste of time.

“Oh, that’s disappointing. Then I probably won’t like it either.” Felix likes to tilt his head before asking a question, I wonder if I should break him of that habit, “Do we have to eat? I've never needed to before.”

I wish. “We eat or we die. That’s what that sound was from your stomach.” 

Felix pouted a bit.

“You should do it sooner than later, if talking makes you die inside, food is going to be so much worse.”

He gasps in horror, flapping his dumb arms in a bit of panic, before turning to the Prize Pod, “Uhm, you make the food right? Could you give me your… uh, favorite food to make? …Please?” 

That’s a dumb question. Prize Pod’s don’t have a favorite. Why would they? But the jar rolled over and spilled onto the floor seven bushels of melodious grapes. Huh. This one… likes making grapes, I guess?

Felix pokes them, “Whoa, are these fruit?” He wasn’t exactly afraid but his body language was that of trying to closely admire a hissing viper.

“Yes. They’re grapes. Now eat already.”

“You got it boss!” 

!!!

I had to stand and pivot away sharply, it's not like he could have seen my face, but that…that was… exciting! Lighting up my spine, it took everything I had to hide my absolutely embarrassing amount of giddiness, biting my lips till they bled. Oh yes, I’m the boss. I’m the master. Over an actual person now! Not just a doll. Not just an Unversed. A real functioning person to shape as I see fit… just like Xehanort did.

Once we're over these stupid hurdles I'll have exactly what I wanted…

Felix tugged at my sleeve, before standing up himself, “Uh, s-sorry to bother you but I still don’t actually know how to… you know…eat?” His face beat red and looked away at the floor. “I know how to drink but that’s not the same. I think?”

Simple. I pick up a bushel, pull off a grape and jab it into their mouth right as they go to speak again. No more questions, only eat.

For a few moments it’s blessed silence…that actually goes on too long. Not even chewing noises. I look back and realize they haven’t done anything, just looking at me with a very confused mildly horrified look and an uncrushed grape between their teeth.

“Do you seriously not know anything? Are you that stupid you don't even know how to eat? I thought you were exaggerating!” It was more like I was thinking instinct would take over. 

They shook their head no. Then yes. 

“How did you LIVE?” I’m about to lose it.

They shrug and around the grape mutter out, “I ‘unno,” the grape falling out, “I didn’t?”

For a moment I just held my head in my hands, I wasn’t ready for the barrage of questions both from them and myself. “This is too early in the morning for this…” I sigh, “Look. If I show you how to do this, you tell no one that I did, got it?”

“Anything you say boss!”

!! AHAHAHA how are they going to find out about a stupid grape?!!! This will be easy!! I mean children know this stuff, right?! Animals are born knowing this stuff. It can't be that hard to teach a…uh…12-year-old? I remove my helmet and-

Their eyes light up and they reach out and- touch my face?! Wincing, I pull my fist back to punch them but get a grip just before I do. They’re an idiot. They will have an idiot level reason. Through gritted teeth, “What are you doing?!” 

“Looking!” The most unnecessarily systematic look ever. It didn’t hurt. They just nudged my face around so they could look at it, “I never could see it before...” said with a soft reverence, before they looked concerned, “Hey do you need a cure-” Then snapped their hand back with an embarrassed yelp, a babbled string of failed words before a choked out, “Sorry!!” And an embarrassed bow, “I should have asked first!! I'm sorry for being so rude!” Then looking up at me nervously, “But seriously do you need a cure?”

I find myself mirroring their head tilts of confusion, “But… you’ve seen me without my helmet before?” before recovering some and wiping the blood away, “The blood is nothing. I’m fine.”

They shook their heads, “Nope nope!” Pointing to his eyes, “During that time my eyes wouldn't focus correctly.” They grabbed their head and rolled it around funny, looking very dizzy in the process, “Everything during that time was a headache. Nothing worked correctly. Six of my CPU’s were dedicated just for standing and walking around. It was so exhausting!” Then he stopped and looked at me again with a big smile, “I couldn't even make out the color before! Your eyes are pretty, I'm jealous.”

Blinking. I look at the grapes in my hand. I’m supposed to teach them how to eat. “To the table.” I’m just going to move ahead and ignore all that. Laying out the grapes before us, and getting the Floods to retrieve the rest. I pause because holy shit where do I start. 

They look at me attentively. Waiting patiently. Their curiosity has nothing but a layer of confidence. For me. What the hell is going on anymore?

Fuck it I improvise. Wave my hand over them, “Behold” said dead flat, “The humble melodious grape.” They ooohhh like it’s not the 7th time they’ve seen one this minute. A dumb thought crossed my mind, “Note that the grape is the green bit here. That's the part you eat.”

“You don't eat the sticks?” Oh no why?? Why did I know that was in their dumb little skull?

“No. Food usually comes with some stuff you can't eat whether it's dumb vines like this, or wrapping, or seeds full of poison, frankly just ask Vexen. I'm sure he’d love to go on a tangent about how smart he is about food.” How can he do this teaching thing?! I feel like a fucking idiot and I know what I’m talking about!

Taking a grape in hand, “Observe.” I eat the grape. “In mouth. Chew. Swallow. Any questions.”

“People put things in their mouths…?” Young Xehanort’s going to have a field day with this kid, “I’ve never really used mine for more than talking.” But they pick up a grape, put it back between their teeth like before… then get nervous and look for confirmation.

“I won’t always be here. Just do it already.” Then after a moment, “I want you to always try, nothing less than that ever. Got it?”

They perk up and bite into the grape. Eyes wide. Their body shutters. Then they slump over, eyes rolling into their head.

…

Wait AGAIN?

I pick them up by their hair and, “Holy shit are you unconscious right now?” I shake them a bit and I get no response, they aren't emoting anymore, but they are breathing so they’re not dead.

A Sea Salt hovers above them, powdering them with a bit of snow but they don’t budge. I chase it off, “Will one of you get a bucket of water?!” A Vile Phial dashes a bit of healing, but Felix continues to remain still. That same stupid Shoegazer gives them a little headbutt, then glares at me. “What do YOU want from me?!”

Luckily, Felix gasps for a bit more air, and starts groggy waking back up. I couldn't help but snark, “Had a nice nap their princess? Busy giving the shoes heart attacks is what you're doing.”

They grimace at the grape in their mouth, but continue chewing, nearly freezing up again, before swallowing. Which while it doesn’t knock them out, has them curl in on themselves in torment. Great. Gotta go visit Vexen again, can NOTHING be easy with this waste of space?!

Finally, after they finished eating a singular grape they sat up, clutching their stomach with the most pathetic frown on their face, “My tummy hurts…”

Maybe it was a bad first food. “Ok, I’ll bite, why did you faint this time?”

“I fainted?” They are just a never-ending confusion generator, “It was so much new data I allocated all resources so that I could-”

Why is it throwing computer words at me?! “I’m not a computer guy! Make it simpler.”

“Oh! Sorry! It’s my first time dealing with something like that. So, I put everything into thinking about it really, really hard so I wouldn't be stuck thinking about it forever. I should get faster as I get used to things but hoo boy that was weird! Really really weird. People have to do that? They want to? It’s so weird.”

I don’t know what to say anymore, I'm already tired, “And the taste?”

“Taste?”

“Yeah, did you care about the taste?” That one part everyone else rubs in my face.

They thought about it. Scratched their chin. Then plucked another grape and suffered eating it again. It might have been faster, and at least I don’t think they fainted this time. 

“It’s… I have no idea?” They nod, “I don’t think it’s unpleasant? But I don't get them.” They lick their teeth funny again and groan angrily to themselves. Before taking a sharp bit of air, “While I still have the chance; thank you again Vanitas.” He suddenly leaps up and grabs my hands, “Thank you Vanitas! Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” They pressed their forehead against my hands, “I’m sorry about last night. And this morning. I- I was so rude and confused and I didn't thank you enough for caring for me.” The swell of emotion…

Ew. “I barely did anything.” Truly I think I did nothing. Grapes shouldn’t count. Letting them loiter was no work on my part.

Words kept tumbling out, “But you didn’t just abandon me! You always came home and talked to me.” Somber and genuine. Before whiplashing up into my face with a loud, “Can I help?! With like your work ‘n stuff?!” Excitedly bouncing in place, “I can do things now! So you won't  have  to   work   so   long!” 

“Don’t lie to me.” Who would be stupid enough to-

“Huh?” The head tilted. The mace. That's also genuine. On God, if I didn't have a useless sleeping Ventus hiding out in the void I would have thought this imbecile my invert. Felix started frowning, “I'm  serious! It’s    really     lonely   without   you.” Felix had to take a pause to cough, “I wan   na     help! I     know      that    old guy    said I    was     dumb,   and   yeah   I’m  not  used   to    a lot    of things…” Licking his teeth with an annoyed sulk, the last part was lost in between the pauses and squeaks of suffering. 

I saw him about to cure his face again, but instead I grabbed his wrist, “Only if something big and serious comes up. You have to get used to it like everyone else. Curing it is just a crutch.”

Felix was a bit bummed, but nodded in understanding. “ So    annoying…” Angrily grabbing and rubbing at his face, “I   wanna     ask     so    many    questions…!” Discontent but firm, “There’s too    much  detail   inside   me.” Pouting like he didn’t just say something utterly demented.

What the hell do you even say to that? “Look, it’s… something that you want to help me or whatever and go on missions but until your basic issues are done and dusted this really is the best place for you to stay.” Disappointed and frustrated he held his head low. I couldn't help but remark, “Good practice for today's meeting. Think you can take eating anymore before we go?”

Felix looks positively green as he shakes his head no. Yeah the last thing we need is to make a scene…

The moment we arrive at the meeting, people catch notice of Felix’s new posture. Now able to stand tall, he no longer looks like a sad collapsed scarecrow, but more like a Xion with her hood up. Provided that Xion’s uniform lost a fight with a sausage grinder. 

The Master certainly noticed, “Ah, so now it finally stands. Have you actually made progress with my demands?”

I keep my tone flat and even, “They now have a name, a static appearance, they lack many life skills but can now walk correctly.”

Xehanort snorts, “I'll be the judge of that.” Pointing to Felix, “You. Tell me yourself. Who are you now?”

I expected a cure but instead they take a few small steps forward and with a deep breath. Slowly, with extremely clear pronunciation. “Hello. I. Am.    Felix.” 

The old man laughs, “Lucky? Vanitas named you like a dog!”

Felix merely shrugs. With all the dogs he makes, maybe he’s part one. Just as I think that, Felix pulls one out from his coat.

That Luxord guy is the first to notice with a laugh, “Like a rabbit from a hat! Seems the new fellow has a few new tricks.” Master Xehanort didn’t seem thrilled.

I meant to grab it but stopped. This dog… looks normal? No demon eyes, no human mimicking dog sounds, and its fur looked like it was covered in my rug back at home. Am I still sleeping? 

“Where did you get that?!” asked the master with sudden mystification and a small simmer of anger. Ah, I'm not. I really am in hell. Pointing to me “Did you get him that!?” 

“No! Where would I even get a dog?!” I looked at Felix, “Seriously, where’d you get that?!”

“It’s buddy. Just   like   your   Flood,   probably.” Nodding, and putting the animal away in their hood like that explained anything. I even checked their hood to see the dog and it was GONE. The rest of the organization was just about as shocked.

Rubbing my temples, “Look I got them talking and moving, I didn't say anything about them making sense when they did.”

Annoyed that his barb didn't get much of a raise, only a dog, Xehanort's next demand was spoken with a fair amount more condemnation, “And the appearance? You somehow managed to make it stop…disfiguring itself? I am braced to see whatever horror its face chose to end on.” 

I rolled my eyes, “Only about as ugly as my mug. I still don’t know why it took my face but still got it wrong.” Before I yanked down Felix’s hood, revealing their weird clone face.

And nearly caused a riot as the entire organization broke out in simultaneous panic and shouting, I wasn't able to make out a single word of any of their complaints. The hell is wrong with them? What’s wrong with my face?! Or with Felix’s wrong version?

Felix whispered, quickly and extremely clipped. “Should I change?” I shake my head no. What the hell is their problem? 

Larxene laughed, “That’s not your face! Did you forget you don't have one?” By the time Felix had blinked again, his eyes were blue. Did I just dream that? For a moment his eyes weren't… whatever.

I removed my helmet and made sure to give her my most unimpressed look imaginable. She actually flinched and muttered “Oh… you do… have a face. Why’s it look like Sor-” Xehanort shot her with such a glare, “Sor-ta like that Roxas guy huh?!”

Who?

“Roxas?” Felix looked around, “Where?!” Does he know him??

Xion giggled, “I guess he sorta does…”

Riku replica suddenly said, “Why are both of your face’s his face?” Growingly and generally going red in his own face in rage.

“Whose face? It’s my face!” What is he talking about Ventus? Who is Roxas? Is it a shitty nobody name like Vexen’s?! Veen can’t hide his stupid name from me! Whose Rosa?! Rosa can go to hell!

Felix had a cross look on his face, like he had something to say to the replica. He looked at me as if for permission, “If you’ve got something to say, say it.” He took in a breath, before just blowing air out his nose and slightly shaking his head. I just speak for him, “He thinks you're not worth his effort.”

The Replica looked like he wanted to come down, but he knew better than that now. Instead, just shouting, “Why do we have two Sora replicas?!”

“What are you blind AND stupid? We don’t look anything like Sora! He’s a CAT.” I poke Felix on the shoulder, “Pull a cat out, idiot there needs to know what Sora looks like.”

This time from his jacket came a long slender cat, pitch black like a shadow with big gold eyes. It struts across his spread arms and shoulders as if it was some kind of model, before leaping into his hood and vanishing.

It doesn’t really look like Sora, I'm not even sure it looks like much of a cat without the fins, but it gets the idea across. The Riku guy fumed and a number of organization members were laughing their guts out. At who, I couldn't be sure. Saix attempted to silence them but failed. They didn’t seem to be laughing about the cat…

The meeting pressed on, it’s usual worthless updates but every now and again someone would ask Felix something. They’d get a nod or a max of three words. Or I'd tell them.

Xehanort caught on, “Perhaps I am just expecting the attitude of your visage but why don’t you speak very much Felix?”

“I    find talking      uncomfortable.” After a pause, “It’s different?” He held his hands close and tried just looking shy. 

Larxene laughed, “Perfect! Always wanted that little brat to shut up.” I'm going to send the Hareraisers to her tonight. Seems like the perfect timing.

Xehanort silenced her, “If talking seems to cause distress… Vanitas, be honest; is Felix ready to join you on missions?”

“Hell no.” I should have maybe pulled my punch on that but, “Yesterday he couldn’t walk in a straight line, today he can barely speak. He’s so lacking in basic knowledge he couldn’t tell you the difference between world alteration magic and the wind. More importantly he needs to head back to Vexen for another checkup.”

“Oh? Why is that? Surely it is not merely their disclination towards speaking.”

Honesty seems to be working today, “Actually it’s because today was the first day they have ever eaten food-”

“It’s WHAT?!” How Vexen didn’t break his neck from the speed alone I will never know, “He’s been active for over a week! Well over a MONTH! What do you MEAN today was the first time he’s eaten anything?!”

“Dead serious. He didn’t eat during that time, so I thought he didn't need to.”

Felix adds, “I   didn't  know  either.”

Vexen clearly has what looks to be a small emotional breakdown as the rest of the org has varying levels of concern. Xion is intensely disturbed by the information. So disturbed she makes a corridor right on to our pillar, digging in a coat pocket and offering a small bag, “Uh, pl-please take them! It’s not much but you really, really should eat.”

Felix had barely glanced at her before a deep terror and unsteady backstep his head tilted looking at her confused. She seemed to know what was wrong, “Sometimes, due to my nature, I will look like different people.” Ah so that was her deal. Creep.

He nodded, calming considerably and carefully took the bag of dried fruit with a shaky smile, happy for the gift though perhaps not happy about eating, “Ah, thank         you   very much…            Xion.”

“Get off my pillar.” It's too crowded. She did. She looked like Ventus again today. Ugly.

Xehanort seemed to consider things, before speaking strictly “Vanitas, your afternoon mission shall be canceled.” Who are you? You can't be master Xehanort. “I am actively assigning you to train Felix instead. I want to see you understand Felix’s limitations and powers, give him manors and direction, and most importantly figure out an efficient route for him to become useful to our cause. A worthy Vessel.”

I nod, but it’s to hide my shock. And anger because ‘manors’? Direction? What does any of this mean? Xehanort has his snide smirk, he knows I have no idea what he really wants. This is clearly some kind of trap.

Felix doesn’t react, probably because he’s bracing himself from the extremely light oncoming wind. He’s going to fall forward if he braces himself any harder.

After that there wasn't much left. When the end of the meeting was called, we headed over to Vexen’s Lab.

Stepping into Vexen’s lab, there was already a place for Felix. Vexen had pulled out his big long chair for visitors, insisting Felix sit on it as he asked his questions. “Ok now, what exactly have you eaten so far?” Felix obediently sat but hesitated on the answer.

“Two whole grapes.” I answer for Felix, who looks. Weird. On the chair. I don't know what’s bothering me. “Did you eat any of Xion’s snack?” He shook his head no, pulling out of his pocket, “What a prefect good waste of food, be ashamed of yourself.” He is.

“Now now, no need to be harsh if it really is just a misunderstanding.” Vexen walked around gathering papers and materials. “It’s not like he can’t just eat it later.” I ran into a strange conundrum.

I didn’t… I didn’t something. I didn’t want something. What was it?

Felix patted my arm, “G   ood l  uck    boss.” That. Felt weird. It changed that something into the exact opposite for a few burning seconds. Little freak.

Vexen approached me, “He will be fine.” Looking at Felix before, “Er, could you please remove your…coat? It’s little more than scrap now and can’t protect you like that.” Felix nodded, ditching the sad excuse for clothing revealing a painfully bright red outfit with another jacket hidden underneath.

Why?? “You were wearing two jackets? Weren't you hot in all that?”

“Hot?” Shaking a little, obviously cold. “Dunno.” I cannot identify the outfit. It’s red and blue and yellow. In Vexen’s Blue Sea Salt cooled lab it’s not warm enough. Maybe outside it will be fine.

I stare at them. Frowning. I don’t want something.

 Vexen snorts, “Don’t worry he’s in good hands.”

“I’m not-” Am I? I don’t want to know. I just nod, “Figure out what the hell’s his deal. I’ll be back later. If you want him to talk better, make him cast cure on his mouth.” 

“Is Felix’s mouth damaged?” Examining the brat’s jaw.

“No, he just says it’s easier to talk when he can’t feel his mouth.”

“Interesting…” Vexen already jotting it down. “Perhaps I can briefly hit two birds with one stone.” Walking to the corner where there was a large fridge type contraption he opened the door and pulled out a small box, “Ice cold juice. Do you think he will be amenable?”

Look down at Felix, “If he gives you a task you better do it.” They nodded viciously. Unprompted, my mouth also added, “Felix, if he gets your mouth working don’t give Vexen an aneurysm. Go easy on asking questions, focus more on giving Vexen answers, ok? Especially if it involves computers.”

Felix gave the strange little three fanned finger sign again. Why is Felix so small? That chair makes him look even smaller, that’s- Why am I focusing on that? That’s stupid. Vanitas you're clearly sleep deprived. Go to work.

I pivot on my heel; I've got places to be. Behind me I hear him call out, “See      you!”

The second the foolish boy left the Graveyard, I entered into Vexen’s domain to watch the procedures. What was this little pest? It had been bestowed a truly laughable name. Not only was it not lucky, but if anyone were to see it written they were likely to get the pronunciation and origin completely wrong. Vanitas truly has no foresight.

Just as planned but it was amusing to see it that way even after so much time unmonitored and unsupervised.

Vexen had the creature plugged into the console and was examining the data with a keen eye. 

“So.” Making him jump, ha, “What theories do you have so far?”

“Not much. I have a gambit of questions to ask to help narrow it all down.” Pulling up a clip board. The creature jittered and then casted a small cure on their face. “Ah yes, Vanitas said he needs to do that to speak better for some time.” Bizarre. Was the creature that unfit for life that merely talking damaged it?

The thing named ‘Felix’ asked shyly, “Ah, I- Um, I- I know what master Vanitas told me but is it ok if I ask one question? Please?” Setting aside a hardly touched juice box.

“Go right ahead.” Whatever Vanitas would have told it was likely very stupid and ultimately incorrect.

“What are the specs of the system?” Hands clutched in elation, “They have to be astronomical right?”

Vexen pointed to the computer, “The specs of this system? Or the one over there?” Pointing to another.

Felix looked a bit lost, tilting his head owlishly, “No, I mean the system we’re on.” Pointing down at the floor before spreading his arm’s out and around, “I’ve never been in anything like it. Not even close!”

The scientist perked up a brow and sat down, “Tell me, what are you experiencing that you haven’t before?” He also snapped his fingers and a set of disgusting Unversed pulled up a chair for me. I took it, intrigued enough to stay.

Though Felix wears the younger face of my nemesis, he is far from being just Sora. Very Sora-like, but something is clearly off. For starters he is far more polite when he’s not being incredibly rude.

“Oh, where do I start?” Looking around, “Like, just for starters are all these papers individual objects? Or is there like insane instantiation going on? How does the system account for all of that plus the ton of entities in this room alone without lagging?”

No one likes to admit it, least of all myself, but I am old. Try as I might, some concepts slip past even my understanding and computers is a field I have only dabbled with in one of my life times, most of which I did not retain when I returned to my true form. Between Ansem and Xemnas they have the lions share of that information. My confusion is born from a lack of understanding.

Vexen however seems to know exactly what it means and was confused for entirely different reasons. His face amusingly twisted, “Uh huh. You… think we are in a computer system?”

“Yep.” As if it were the most obvious conclusion. Felix smiled with a shrug, “Where else would we be?”

So the child thinks he’s a being of data? We had guessed him to be made of bad data, but not at all considered it having any idea of its own nature, let alone an accurate one. “Did the other systems not have such amenities?”

“Not even a fraction! My home couldn't even hope to have even a tiny bit of…any of this! Certainly not you guys. No system I've ever been on can handle what this one does; I mean Vanitas makes it sound like everyone breathes here all the time and that's normal! Can you imagine? I can’t! Your textures alone would be impossible!” He seems to stare with an intense focus on us, softly, in pure reverence, “How does this system manage to let you have individual fibers on your clothes loose? How does it let you have all those little hairs on your skin? All those different levels of translucency? Are those veins actually under your skin? How??”

Vexen is scrawling down a lot of information on another board. At least we can safely rule out Vanitas having actually set any of this up. He can’t have known what any of this meant either.

After a pause, the scientist felt ready to speak, “Uhm. Ahaha. Child. You are not a being of data, this is-”

“Yes I am.” Still with a beaming smile. “What else would I be? This has to be a system; I can't exist outside one.” He paused for a moment, before casting cure on his face again.

I speak this time, “Felix. This is the real world. You are currently a real creature in that real world. There is no abstraction here, you are not in any computer system.”

He blinked, “Vanitas said something about us being real too but… how? I’m just data. Data can’t just exist outside. JJ said so. Are you sure the system isn’t just hiding it from you? Lots of systems do that.” His mirth cut short with a sigh, “Don’t tell him I told you. I’m not supposed to tell people that.”

Vexen snorted, “I am not about to humor any simulation theories. Young man, I think what might help you understand is that you are in a Replica.”

“Oh, I've heard that word a lot! I wanted to ask Vanitas about it.”

“A replica, to GROSSLY simplify, is like a robot. If it helps you understand your situation better, I guess you can say you are indeed in a computer that is in a robot that is in the real world. There is no higher system; you are interfacing directly with the real world via the replica.”

They pause for a bit before asking, “Are you guys replicas?”

“No. I am a Nobody, and Master Xehanort here is a real person.”

“Is Vanitas a data being like me?”

“No, a replica can also take people's hearts and act as a new body for those hearts. It's just the same as being a person in a real body.” Then Vexen pauses and looks concerned, “Actually, that’s all they do. Replicas can’t actually take in just pure data. They don’t function without a heart.”

“Oh I have a heart! I actually have two now apparently, Vanitas says the other one is supposed to be noisy and feel weird in my chest, and that you filled it with blood.” The boy looked pale, horrified “Is it true? Will I finally stop feeling it so much one day? Vanitas said so but it’s really strange right now and I'm worried it will never stop feeling weird…”

Vexen sighed, “Ok, remember what Vanitas said about the questions? Could you please keep them down to asking for clarifications on what I mean with my questions? We’ll never be done if you keep asking about every single little thing.”

“Ohh, sorry, gotcha, can do!” 

With Vexen making that declaration I stood up, “Inform me of the results. I shall be in the library if you need me.” Which he won't. He never does. That's why he’s such a good employee.

So many tests, so many questions, but I'm free!! I stand up and my legs feel so wonky, I think I understand what Vanitas means when he says stiff!

The tests had started with some stretches in between questions, then looking at graphs to test my eyes, and answering more questions, making me drink juice (like all things, strange, but it made me feel a lot better) until I was just in a chair for hours doing nothing but question after question after question.

Vexen looks very frustrated at my results. I did my best but… it looks like it wasn’t good enough. He’s not mad at least. He gave me a realllllly long pdf to read. Very informative! So much makes much more sense now. Lots of connections between my body and me. What the labels and variables mean. How aspects of being a person were emulated by the replica body. Apparently, I was supposed to get this internally and understand all of its contents natively, but I didn't, whoops. When I was done, Vexen took me to the mess hall for lunch.

Eating still feels really bad…but I try. Vanitas said that's all I can do, do that and nothing less. I get about two bites in before I just can't. I can’t tell if it’s the ‘texture’ that just feels revolting or if eating food just feels rancid altogether. I hope it’s just this. This… ‘Vee Ghaun’s Chicken’.

Xion and Saix were there. Though Saix left early. Xion really spooked me earlier, cause she looks like…like Selphie. But not as I saw her, like older? Maybe that’s the real Selphie? When I can speak again, I have got to apologize to Xion. Actually, I should just do that now. I stood up and walked over to her.

She looked up startled, “Oh, uh, hi Felix.”

“Hi. Thank          you. For       Snack.   Sorry    for        being rude.”

“It’s ok, it happens.” But she looked embarrassed. Curiosity burns though, and I don't know when I'll get a good chance to talk to her again.

“...Are you        Roxas’s          dear     friend?”

She glanced around nervously, before smiling a little bit. “...I’d like to think so. Why bring that up?”

Really it was just from putting a few things together in my head, what people said about her, sort of a guess from how she acted and how old she was, and hearing Roxas’s name today just made me think of him. Of his dear friend he couldn't remember. If Xion keeps changing forms, seemingly against her will, that sounds like a recipe for getting confused and forgotten.

She’s staring at me and looking very funny at me cause I haven't said anything, “You     look   like a     dear   friend of     mine. You   laughed    like you     knew him.  Dear friend of his    looked like   dear friend   of mine? Maybe.   Just    wondering.”

She laughed, “I wish that was how it worked, but you just guessed lucky.” She stood up, “I gotta go now. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Same    same!” I wanted to make a joke about that but I'd never get the timing right. Darn it. I returned to Vexen, who was done eating.

“Alright. Stay on base until Vanitas gets back. Stay out of my lab for the meantime.” Vexen stood up and left. Wait he really let me go loose? Ohhh, no more having to stay with Demyx weird man? Cool! Leaping out of my chair to run around and explore the halls.

It's so nice! Just swinging my legs again freely, I missed this! I missed moving around so much! The base has so much to explore that I couldn't before, it was like a wonderland maze but even more aMAZEing! But there’s no Heartless, there’s Unversed hiding under the walls, and most importantly no card men except Luxord.

Then I passed by the library. 

Master Vanitas doesn't seem to have a great opinion of master Xehanort. But he seems alright when he’s not being a mean old man. In any case, I wanted to ask him about something from last time. My mouth is still a bit fussy, but it’s still a million times better than it was before. Plus, I can pour tea better too! I mean, I think, it shouldn't be that hard, right?

I opened the door and peeked in, walls to walls with many many bookshelves, making its own amazing maze. In the center there was some kind of sitting area, where Xehanort sat on a big puffy chair reading something. 

Oh, maybe I should come back later he looks busy-

He snapped his book shut, “Who is it?” Sounding very cross.

“Ah, hi    Mr.   Master    Xehanort. It’s      just me.      Felix.” I step in, shutting the door behind me. Trying not to giggle at my new name and gag on my new mouth. 

The old man looks at me funny, “What are you doing here? Is your check up all done?” I don’t think I've ever seen a man as old as he is. Or any person really. Or maybe I have and their oldness was covered up by worse graphics?

“All done,       Vexen said         the results        would be          ready in      about an     hour             or       two?” I’m trying my best like Vanitas said to do, but long sentences are so hard.

“Then what are you doing here annoying me?”

Oops. I better ask my question and leave, adding a cure to my face and clearing my throat, “Mr. Xehanort, what did you mean last time by me not understanding the intrinsic nature of darkness in the heart?”

His eyebrow rose up, “You were actually listening?” Why is he surprised? What else was I going to do?

“Yeah, you’re like the boss's boss and you say interesting things.” I paused trying to think how to clarify, “Uhm, I know last time I asked but I wasn't very understandable. But I really did want to know.”

The old man stroked his beard, “What do you think the heart is made up of?”

“Well, things and nothing obviously. Usually, darkness or light. I’m made of light and nothing I think.”

“The light and nothing? Certainly, the darkness deserves better than that.” The old man gestured towards the chair across from him, “Take a seat. You seem interesting enough to hold a conversation now.”

I made my way on to the chair but I had to ask, “Isn’t the darkness something else?”

He snorted at me, then paused, “Don’t use cure anymore. Using it as a crutch like you are, you will find that it impedes your growth.”

For the next few hours, we talk, but he alone practically talks for three.

What are they doing? My mission was brain dead simple. Murdering some Heartless on some world that didn't matter. The stupid magic hat thing flew in a pattern and I just had to stand by and wait to wail on it with magic. Stupid stupid thing.

But Felix, the different stupid thing wouldn’t leave my mind. Was he going through the same tests I did when I woke up? Or more tests considering he was not natural in any sense of the word? Was he already dead? I think my Unversed would tell me that if it were to happen.

I nearly missed it when the accursed thing died. A scream of victory before corridoring into the breakroom, “Saix paper now need.” I realized that sounded shot, “I'm tired.”

“The Serenades do that.” His voice weirdly clipped as he handed me the correct work, “About your…apprentice.”

“Yeah? Where is he? Still with Vexen?”

“No. They’re all done as far as I know.” He cringed, “He’s…in the library.”

Of course, the worst possible place. I think I'd rather him sitting in a lit furnace or an angry pit of snake Heartless before the library. 

Racing down the halls I made it to the door, and taking a steadying breath I opened it quietly and confidently.

Sitting in his chair was the master, weirdly happy much like last time. In the other seat, holding a teacup incorrectly was Felix. A pack of Archravens and Hareraisers nearly burst out at the sight, but I held back. Stepping inside the room I make out a bit of their conversation.

“All  I'm  saying…” Felix was saying In a tone Xehanort would have smacked me upside the head for, “is  that  light,  by  extension  radiation,  by  extension  the  sun,  by  extension  fire,  is  more  destructive  literally  then   darkness,  actual   lack   of   energy.” He looked into the tea in the cup, and sipped a little bit. “This one's okay. Bergamot  was  definitely   better.”

Xehanort all but belly laughed, then he looked at the clock, and started to hold back his laughter until he could say composed, “Well your hypothesis are all entirely incorrect. They were fascinating if nothing else. Vanitas is here to get you, but do visit again on a not so busy day.” His voice turned sharp, as he stood up suddenly, “Vanitas.”

“Yes sir.”

“In the morning you will have normal missions, and in the afternoons your missions will be nothing but hard focusing on your student. Teach him the basics of life.” He smiled. Still knowing that I have no clue what on earth that means. “In the morning Felix might be assigned missions from Saix, but they will be relegated to the local space, which in turn will mean they will be extremely banal. Things that Felix could accomplish. Those will start tomorrow, today you may start the training in any way you see fit. In about a week, we will assess if he’s ready for real missions, so do prepare him for those. In the meantime, I will think of a better name for your apprentice.” What's wrong with the name I gave him?! Asshole!

With a loud peep, Felix suddenly shouted “Oh oh! Vanitas was testing a lot of names and I really liked Lethargic Lout!” 

I couldn't help but, “...Why that one?” Almost glossing over Felix’s rapidly improved speech.

“Cause if I commit a crime I  will  be  a  criminal  and  become  an     LLC!” Throwing his hands up as if it were exciting news.

The two of us looked at him in baffled silence, before Xehanort said with a strange and terrifying soft laugh, “Spontaneous life sprung forth from a glitch in an empty replica. Certainly has produced an… odd one hasn’t it?” He sat back in his chair, “I shall throw you a mercy, a hint if you will. Treat him as if he has spent his entire life locked in an airless cold box. That is about where his experience starts and ends.”

Felix placed down his cup, but then picks up a different full one, “D o   you   have time for   tea?”

“No. We need to leave.”

Felix nodded and slid off the chair. Wandering right up to me with a smile.

I grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him out as fast as a calm looking walk could.

Chapter Text

We were nearly outside before it crossed my mind, “Have you- never mind.” It was stupid. I still can’t get it past my head that they just can’t fucking speak.

“Huh?   Tell me! Tell me please?” Pure genuine curiosity and interest. Plus, he really was randomly improving.

“...What did you guys do? You and master Xehanort. You’re talking better.”

“Just talked  a   lot.” His face dropped for just a moment, “Mostly  him. He talks a    lot.” Before perking back up, “And  drank  different  teas. I’m getting    a   lot better! So please please,     ask away!” 

Like hell is that old prick going to out talk me to my own apprentice! “It’s dumb. You probably wouldn’t even remember. But way back, before you were even melting, you I think wanted to say something.” Damn it, I can't even remember what I was talking about. “I forget, I think it had something to do with paint?”

Felix gasped, “I remember  that! I really wanted  to know   what it was    like  with  a  whole room  that paints  you. I    think  paint is  really  fun! Even   if  it's   hard  to  clean  off.”

It had paint in its box?

We walked calmly to the exit, “Today I have too much catching up to do, but remind me later I need to ask more about your past.” Reaching the exit door, “Honestly, I didn't think you’d have a past.”

“Okay boss!” Before squeaking in shock as the door opened, greeted by the normal wall of heat and wind, “What is  this   stuff   master??” Felix hopelessly looking at the dirt in the wind, before growing determined and trying to catch it.

“So, where you're from had paint but no wind?” What sort of back water world would work like that?

“Actually   home   had     neither.     Twilight   Town    Comp  had the   wind   and   paint.” Trying again to grasp it, looking bewildered at his dirty hands, “But it felt      nothing    like    this   though!” Rolling his fingers together, watching it carefully. I’ve never really cared about dirt that much before. Or anything really.

Twilight Town Comp? I pocket the idea away and will try to remember for Vexen. Actually forget trying to remember, I make a Flood to go give him the news right now. Felix looks at it shocked and happy, “How do  you  do  that? Can I  learn   to   make    Flood?”

“No. That’s a me thing.” But then I remembered, “Wait you can make dogs, what's up with that?”

“They’re my  buddies.” Again, no elaboration before just staring at me like anyone would understand that.

“I want clarification. What are they?”

He opened his mouth, before slowly closing it. Looking thoughtful, putting a finger to his chin, before scratching his head for a bit before looking back up with a confident smile, “I have    no idea!” He shrugged, “I just think about them     and poof! Here  they  are. I was hoping   it was like   making Unversed    and  you  would  know  more.”

“Do you feel any particular emotions when you make them?”

“Not really.”

“Then they’re not Unversed.” What a waste of time…

“I wish they were even half as cute as Unvered. I dunno, their eyes are kinda…stare-y.”

…Whatever! I walk outside. Felix walks outside. Within less than a minute I hear struggling behind me. What now?

Turning around, I see Felix fall flat on his face. When he got back up he took a step and his strange walking caused him to trip on the uneven surface of the desert. Over and over again, he’d take maybe a step or two before his big clown shoes caught on something, or a bit of sand made him slip or a dead keyblade got in the way. Constantly. Consistently. It was mesmerizingly pathetic.

His movements had looked off to me before, but now I can identify the issue with clarity. Felix is over committed to the same motions every single time. On the flat floor of the hallways or the mostly even floor of the cave it wasn’t as noticeable. But now that there’s rocks, small lumps, and the full curve of nature's wrath. Felix couldn’t handle it. Right back to barely taking a few steps before falling again.

How the hell does someone end up with an issue like that?! For a moment I thought about slaughtering the idiot, savoring his despair, and being free…

But free from what? Free entertainment? The idea that his current mortal foe might just be a large rock was absurd and amusing. Xehanort obviously found this kind of thing funny.

Wait, I'm a Master, I have to fix this. Walking over and looking down at him. “Having some trouble there?”

“Yeah!” Looking up, eyes locked on me, “There’s so much stuff on the ground!” He spoke perfectly normal, if not a bit fast, and actually stood up and made it over the rock. Huh. Then he looked at his feet again, considered something and tried to take a step. He fell over again at the next rock.

Time to test a thought, “...Do you know the history of this world?” A complete non sequitur.

“Hmmm, no! I don't think  I even   know  the   name.” Already Felix’s motions look more natural. But his spacing returned.

I take a few steps back, “It’s the Keyblade Graveyard.” Spreading my arms wide, encouraging him to look around. “This is the site of a huge war thousands of years ago.” 

“What?!” My guess was at least half right. Felix was spinning around and gazing at everything, no doubt brewing up another batch of 5 million questions to ask. He was in perfect coordination, movements perfectly natural.

Paranoia about before? Was it his thing about focusing on things till they weren't bad? Or was it some kind of computer issue? I recall a time Xehanort visited the graveyard and told me before he even started that I wasn’t going to understand his rant, where he ranted about computers and how much he hated their ‘drivers’, ‘updates’, and ‘depreciation’. I still have no idea what he meant. But hold on, could I ask Felix? 

“Felix. What’s a driver? For computers I mean.”

Pirouetting, “Oh? They’re the set of files that make    hardware work with software. The real parts of    the computer work      with its more      data-y parts.” At least he doesn’t seem to slur his words anymore. 

“...And how hard are you simplifying?”

“Eh. Not  that   much? For like a general     causal meaning.” For some reason he picks up a rock, winces with a heaping pile of disgust, and drops it.

I continued walking, “Today I mostly want to figure out what exactly I need to teach you, figure out what you know and what you don’t know to some degree. We’re walking so we can both think of questions to ask. That’s an order by the way; think of as many questions as you can about the things that confuse you the most.”

Felix’s silent as a mouse as he thinks, really truly thinks about it. His mind off in the clouds he walks behind with no issues.

Ha! This master thing is easy! I’m already fixing bad behavior.

As we walk out into the desert, toward my Unversed making valley, I can't stop thinking about that. It’s really sinking in that…I’m the master now. In a sense I've always been the boss to this thing. The true owner of the cave, the person who’s in charge of dragging them around, looking after them.

But Master. It means I have to train them. Put lines in the sand and really cement it into their head my authority. Brand it into his soul. Carve it into his heart so it can never forget. Eventually when he starts to think he can run, it’ll know it can’t.

I turn to them sharply, “Before we continue. We have to do a bit of a… reintroduction.” Jabbing a thumb to my chest, “I am your Master. You will obey everything I tell you, to the letter. I’ve been easy on you because you’ve been crippled and weren't even a part of the organization.” Now pointing at them, “This has changed. You are my apprentice and I've been tasked to make you into more than what you currently are. To use everything my master has used to teach me to teach you. Everything I say is gospel, even if it seems impossible. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir!” Giving a little silly salute. 

“Oh really? Repeat it back to me. Perfectly.”

Startled, they immediately sputtered out, “Uh… You are       the master.     I gotta      listen  to     everything    you     say. Tooo   the   letter!       Before was   different     ‘cause I wasn’t uh       working   and a     part of  this. Now  I'm   your    apprentice    and    you're       the             boss.     Right?” They smiled a big grin of obvious embarrassment. Wheezing a little bit from the extended sentences.

“You got the spirit.” I approached, a sudden hitch in my breath, “But that was completely wrong. You’ll have to be punished.” A smile stretched across my face as I snatched their hand, “To quote my own Master, ’In blades and people, the only way to correct imperfections is to beat them out. ’” This is it. With a sharp motion I effortlessly snapped Felix’s index finger all the way back with an audible pop. “Now, repeat it back to me. Perfectly.”

Felix gasped briefly, before looking at his hand…in…

Wonder? My mouth actually dropped as I watched him coo over his injury in fascination. His curiosity is still innocent and unmarred. They just stared at it before blurting out, “Wow my hand’s    not     responding    correctly  anymore, whatcha do?”

“I…broke your finger for disobeying me. Don’t disobey me again.”

“Gottcha.” Flopping his hand about the limp finger, before suddenly grabbing the finger next to it and snapped it to match the other. 

“Knock that Shit OFF!” Grabbing his hands and splitting them apart, I look at the newly broken finger, “Listen! You're not supposed to hurt yourself, only I am allowed to hurt you!!” Wait that's not true, Xehanort always approved of self-mutilation but that was through me killing Unversed. This is something different isn’t it? …Isn’t it? 

Felix tries to move his hands, but I think it’s just to feel my gloves. Doesn’t it hurt?!

“...Well heal them you idiot.” Throwing his hands at him, “You actually can do that, and I damn well expect you to! I can’t fix you if you break, nor will I try to.”

“Oh sure!    Sorry  about    that.” Without even setting his fingers, the dipshit cast a cure on himself. “HUh that’s weird, they didn’t fix themselves. Ohh there turning purple…!” Wriggling his malhealed fingers.

No way in hell am I going to put up with THAT anymore. I grab him and sit them down under the shade of a rock, “Alright. So, under your skin there are these things called bones…” 

I went through everything I knew about bones from the many many times I had mine broken. Xehanort never really taught me anything but pain, so I had no idea how to teach without really demonstrating. At least I had learned a lot from the painful years and knew how to patch myself up. But I’m smart and Felix operates on moon logic. I can’t expect him to figure it out anytime soon.

First tried to teach him about what exactly the bones were first, because of course he had the wrong idea. Then about what to do when they break, how to reset them some, and how without curing them properly and leaving them to heal on their own they will disfigure permanently and never stop hurting. Felix didn’t seem to care.

Exasperated I snaped at him, “Seriously, when it started to hurt didn’t you think to stop?!”

“It hurt?” With big dumb owl eyes and genuine confusion.

“You tell me! Weren’t you in pain?”

“Oh pain?        I guess.” He tilted his head with a strange expression, “Does it matter?”

“When you feel pain, that's your body telling you something’s damaged and to stop doing what you're doing!” Well normally it’s your signal to put it in turbo and kill whatever's attacking you but that’s too much contextual circumstances for Felix.

“Naw,  for  me      that’s  the  HP stat. I  only        lost  a few points,        it’s all  good.” Absolute lunacy. “It’s not     anything     out of    the ordinary.” They put pain in the box before food. Unreal.

All the while I couldn't shake my paranoia.

What if Xehanort finds out? He won’t. I release too many Floods. I send them to keep lookout. He won’t. There’s nothing weak about teaching an idiot something helpful, that's the point. But what if Xehanort finds out you learnt that stuff in the first place? Shut up. He obviously knew, how else was I supposed to survive his lessons?

Felix paid close attention and obediently broke his fingers again, he did it to himself without batting an eye, to reset them properly. If I never have to see that again, it will be too soon. It’s not normal, not even Ventus is stupid enough to break his own fingers while grinning like an idiot. Dammit! This is supposed to be the best part of being a master! I had to watch Xehanort get immense satisfaction from breaking my bones. How come I'm not feeling it? How could Felix ruin this? Right now, he’s quietly reciting the steps to himself, committing them to memory.

At the end Felix pips up, “Thank you      Vanitas.” Admiring his now working fingers.

Glaring, “Why the hell are you thanking me?”

“Cause you      taught me     how to     fix my     bones!” Then he gasped, sucker punching me with a wave of awe, “Was   that   the plan? You knew    I’d. Make   a mistake.  So you did      all  that?”

Felix just served me an excuse on a platter that made me look good. If I were Xehanort, I would have just taken and rolled with it. But I’m not my master, so without thinking I just said, “No. That was a punishment. But you didn’t know how to deal with it so I taught you how to.”

“Did    master     Xehanort   teach you  about       bones.      too?”

“No.”

There was a pause. And the look on his face plummeted, “Not even  a little?”

“Nope. Had to figure it out as I went.” Trying to ignore the memories plaguing me in the back of my mind, “I can’t use cure magic so if I didn’t fix them right, I wouldn't have survived.” For a long time, I couldn’t leave to steal potions either. They don’t hurt like they used to but still I caught myself rubbing my knuckles, trying to soothe away pains that aren't there anymore.

I got so lost in my own memories that I didn’t even notice that I had sat down.

“He broke your bones?” Felix’s face scrunching up, “And didn’t teach you how to fix them? Or cure you since you can’t?” Shit I think he noticed; dammit I can’t show weakness! I keep fucking this up!

“Yes.” What are you getting at anyways? “Why would he waste time teaching me healing. He wanted it to hurt. Pain is-”

“He wanted to hurt you?” Startled Felix jumped to his feet, “But why?”

“Don’t interrupt me!” Grabbing Felix by his hair and dragging him back down as I pulled myself back to my feet. “It was a PUNISHMENT. Punishments have to hurt! Pain makes the learning stick! Never forget that I want to hurt you.” Making sure to grab harder and shake him a bit. 

And there it was. A spark, tiny but not tiny enough to hide from me. Deep in the back of that flickering nonsense of a heart. As Felix struggled to get my hand loose, I could feel that first speck of hatred. 

“That!” I let them go, jabbing them in the chest as he looked at me lost, “That feeling! That’s what I'm after! I know you felt it, you can’t hide that from me." I make a fist, “Hold on to it. Never let it go. You have to learn to hate everyone and everything. It’s the best way to get stronger; no! It’s the only way to gain true strength!”

Felix just looked horrified. Properly scared and confused but most importantly angry. Shaking a bit and unable to make words. It might be time to back off a bit. Let him stew in it a bit. That spark didn’t last long, but it's a start. I was starting to worry he’d be another Ventus, unable to truly hate until utterly extreme measures were taken.

I stand up, dust off, and continue walking. Felix stumbles up beside me. There’s nothing but the relaxing silence as Felix cycles through several emotions, anger mixed in with all of them.

Was feeling pretty good about myself, until

“...I think you're the better master.” Felix said, shattering the silence, with eyes pointed straight ahead, refusing to make eye contact with me. “He just hurt you and left you to figure it out. You actually taught me. So that makes you the better master.” It’s been a while since he stuttered with his words. No more pausing. No more gaps. No more weirdly long holds. “What did you even do to deserve the punishment?”

I… don't remember. “Doesn’t matter.”

“You didn’t deserve it.”

“And what? You think saying I don't deserve it means that you won't get it? Shitty flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere, not with me. Just cause I am superior to my master isn’t going to make this any easier on you. You need to be strong if you want to live.”

“You would like Elminichan!” Sudden whiplash into joy, spinning around to face me, “She was always about getting stronger, would fight anyone at the drop of a hat, we didn’t have the right bones to break but she would if she could in a heartbeat! You guys are a lot alike.”

Does he know people? Or is that just lemon heads actual name? Either way, “No I wouldn't. Get ready, we're about to be there.” A thought occurs. “Good job. On the bones.” I almost vomited. Eraqus always said things like that to Ventus. “Keep… obeying me. And you’ll do fine.”

There’s a gross sparkle in Felix’s eye. He whispers some of my instructions under his breath again, so as to not forget. He was more upset by the feeling of his knees in the sand than his bones being snapped. More disgusted by the rock he picked up earlier. My punishment meant more to him than his own.

It all leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I started to run, “Come on let’s get this started already.”

Chapter Text

When we finally reached my valley, I was able to slow and stop perfectly to a halt before the edge. Felix, in his traditional style, Didn’t. Sailed over it, tumbling down the cliffside with a scream. I shout, “Jump and Arial Recovery dipshit!”

I think I heard a quiet ‘oh yeah’ float up before he did finally push himself from the edge, recovered, then landed on his feet in such a way he could basically slide down what was left. It was informative at least; he might have a basic ability loadout.

Would it be appropriate to demonstrate how to actually jump down a canyon or would that just be showing off?  Mulling it over for too long I finally made the correct decision to just corridor down to him. Find him trying to claw off the dirt he got on his arms. I grab him by the shoulders, lift, and do a sharp flick getting most of it off him.

“Thanks!” He said through laughs, “Do it again!”

“No” Dropping him. Shaking my head before I can forget, “Okay, this is serious training time. I’m going to put you through drills, teach you the basic tenn- tenit?” Goddamn it, I hate that word.

“Tenet?”

“Whatever, of Xehanort’s training and anything else that comes to mind as we go along.” Like a ship made of salt, everything’s already falling apart and I'm getting corrected by the fourth dumbest person I know. 

“We should get those tenets done first then, right?”

“Don’t rush me, I'm the one who’s got to think of a way to explain it to you in a way that you actually get. You’ve talked to Xehanort, you know how he talks, all dense and important.”

“If you're sure he had anything worth repeating.” Felix doesn’t sound at all convinced. But he’ll listen to me. For some reason he trusts me.

I'm trying to remember the words, then I'm struck that I have to also remember the drills I was put through ages ago. After a while it was just Unversed slaughter but before that there was something else. Damn it, I'm so unprepared! “Anything else you’d want recapped or covered right now? Like the big picture plan they mention at the meetings? Any questions about that?” I could recite that thing in my sleep.

Felix pouted, and whispered “I don’t like Xehanort’s plan.” Crossing his arms, “It feels like a scam somehow.”

I smacked him, “Keep your traitorous thoughts to yourself if you wanna live. Xehanort will gut you if he hears any of it.” He wasn’t wrong, “It feels that way because you have good instincts. But you owe him for the replica body, so shut up, suck it up, and follow along.” 

Screw it, I can’t think of anything so I’ll just go for my usual. With a snap of my finger, every Unversed lying in wait starts crawling out of every nook and from under every rock. I might not be able to kill them, but Xehanort hadn’t stopped anyone else yet.

Felix gasped with excitement, “Unversed!” Immediately drawn to them, picking up a Flood near him, “There’s so many!”

“Yeah, this is the valley I make them in every day.” I say no more because he’s not paying attention. A Flood leaps nearby and taps him, making him laugh, loose grip on the one he’d been holding, then he starts chasing them. I hope it and five more bite him for being a moron. But it does give me that opportunity to remember and observe.

No longer with completely out of control limbs, his game of tag is less of a spectacle than before, but he does actually manage to catch one. Then two. Then five. I thought in tag you were supposed to keep running, not pocketing your opponents, but I wouldn’t know.

Whatever, I find a shady spot to observe from.  I could do a lot of this in my cave but that’s a waste of the chance to be out of the trash pit. “Felix get over here.” He stopped chasing a Hareraiser and walked over with a bundle of Unversed, mostly Flood. “Hmmm… 36. More than I would have thought. Put them down.”

As he settles down and lets them go, I remember a staple of my training. Regularly Xehanort would ask for something clearly impossible. ‘It hardens the spirit to face constant adversity.’

“Felix, you only get one chance to ask your questions. Ask them all at the same time, you have 25 seconds.”

Unhesitantly he took a breath and then assaulted me with a horrid wall of sound, that after eleven merciless seconds had calmed to being definitely unintelligible words overtop of other words, ending with the only part I actually made out, “wschaainutdse?ec iu dbone’ts really get it.”

“...Fascinating execution. What was that last one you didn’t really get?”

“Oh, in the cave, is it filled with stones or rocks?”

I nodded for a moment before, “You would be great at torturing people.” Literally only this idiot could ever care about a question so monumentally stupid.

Felix nods before registering what I say with a funky lopsided smile, “That’s… kind of… neat I guess. I like helping people more. JJ said I was good at helping sometimes.”

JJ? First E-Something and now JJ? I was expecting a locked box of nothing, how does Felix know people? Xehanort and his stupid riddles! Does JJ even really exist? With a resigned sigh, “Who’s JJ? Wait lemme guess. Another ‘Friend’ from another world?”

“My best friend!” That burst of joy was immediately tempered down by… a kind of bitterness. In Felix? Really? Consider my interest piqued. I sat there staring a bit, and for my patience was given, “He’s from the same system I'm from. He looks just like Riku. Or I mean Riku Replica?” So, a copy of one of the dumb little hero’s running around. That’s the suicidal dark realm one, isn't it?

“What did he do to make you hate him?”

Shocked before remembering, and muttering, “It’s… not hate. It’s nothing really. I... I guess if I had to say anything it’s when there’s nothing to help with, I become a bit of a problem.” I can feel Felix’s mood plummet as he stares at the ground. He wasn’t actually angry; he just feels sad. But there’s this bitter tinge of loneliness with no direction to indicate a source. Directionless and alone?

Felix shook his head, “Why don't we talk about something better? I don’t want my bad mood to ruin your day.” I get it; JJ isn’t real. Felix is just pretending and is upset about how he was so lonely he made up people. Been there, done that.

Listening about the lives of fake people, what a waste of time. Leaning back, arm behind my head, “Oh no this is great, tell me more about you’re supposed friends.” Rolling my eyes at the nonexistent JJ. I’m only letting him prattle on so I have more of an idea of his ‘past.’ Xehanort did that all the time, letting people slit their own throats with their own stories.

Something about my words gave him a small jolt of panic. Felix was eyeing me, like he was trying to figure out if I knew something he knew. But he eventually calmed down, “Well uh, there were all the people I grew up with.” Felix had an odd look on his face. Felt like he had made a mistake, which intensified into feeling like he had told a lie. Gotcha. “Ah, Tidus, Wakka, and…Selphie.” That last one came with a drink of emotions too complex, messy, and fleeting before darting to, “And I met people on other ‘worlds’, and then I met some people from the real world, and other systems…” Felix was starting to physically shake from his building anxiety.

“You miss them?” Your dumb little fake friends are starting to make you actually sick. Make up better people.

“A lot.” Clearly, he was holding back, but he forced a smile and some happiness, “But I'm fine! I’ll probably see them again someday. I hope.” That was the biggest lie he’s said yet. But not to me, to himself.

“Someone you miss the most?”

“...Selphie. But she’s safe. I think I miss Eliminichan the most.”

That was a weird one, “Elemin what?” Wasn’t that the one he talked about before?

“Eliminichan. She was a Heartless; one of the strongest I've ever met! She was cool, you would have liked her.” The smile that had appeared vanished just as fast. “But she’s gone now.”

My helmet hides my disgusted grimace, “A Heartless was your friend? You’re outta your mind. Heartless can’t make friends, they don’t have the capacity.” I couldn't help but laugh at the idiot, “You think I'd ever associate with mindless cretins like the Heartless? You’ve lost it.”

Pouting, “That’s not very nice. A huge majority of my friends were Heartless. At least 255 of them were.”

The hell kind of number is that? “Absolute madness. I would never waste my time on something that was just waiting to eat my heart when I wasn't looking.”

Miffed, crossing his arms, “But what about Mr. Ansem, Seeker of Darkness? He seems nice.”

“He is an aspect of Xehanort. Lower your guard around him and he’ll stab you in the back. That’s what Xehanort does, he makes you think he’s reasonable only to rip the rug from under you. You can trust him to be wise, smart, and above all in it for himself.”

Raising a brow to me, “And you called me a traitor?”

“Hey, I'm never going against him. He holds all the cards, and has literally planned for everything. He is the source of all the world's suffering for the past 30 years, maybe even more.” I stood up and summoned Void Gear, “I'm sick of this chatter! Let’s see if you can fight!” Grabbing him by the scruff and tossing him into the center of the field, Unversed scattering all over to make room.

To my dismay, before he hit the ground he instead performed a perfect Aerial Recovery, landing squarely on his feet, and taking a reasonably competent stance, “Hey hey, give me a sec I’m not ready!”

“Did Emily ever ‘give you a sec’?” Charging to the brat, swinging in a large arc.

He rolled out of the way, “Almost! And I get that enemies and whoever aren't going to give it to me, but this is first time setup stuff!” Summoning the blistering rainbow thing, “What the-?” Before dropping it in as a static filled blip. “Like I need to fix that!”

I should keep swinging but I still my hand, “Fine.” Crossing my arms, “Five minutes, then whether you're ready or not.”

Immediately Felix went limp like a dropped puppet, startling me a bit. I thought we were done with this?! But after a minute I did feel it; something was different. What? What on earth was the change? But the time Felix stood up again, giving me one hell of a cocky little grin that needs to go, I still couldn’t tell what for sure was different. My eyes felt like something had changed but couldn't place it. My senses for sure felt like he was stronger somehow.

“A lot of my weapons in the Gear Matrix are corrupted,” I will ring his neck if he spouts anymore things without MEANING, “But check this out! I have no idea where I got this from!”

A sparkle of light. 

The Unversed freeze in horror.

Void Gear, but It was monochrome, just like the Remnants.

THAT SON OF A BITCH DROPPED A KEYCHAIN AFTERALL?!

I don’t even realize I've swung at him until I see the stupid oversized thing sailing overhead and spear a distant Bruser. 

“Wow Vanitas that’s some- EEK!” Having closed the distance, I held my own Void Gear to his rotten throat.

“A different one. NOW.”

If Xehanort sees that, he’ll realize I didn’t kill the Remnant.  

Felix’s little face was horrified but still smiling somehow, in a moment that wretched ghost's key was gone and in the next a… a…

My brain had another misfire. It was flat. From the right angle, it was kinda keyblade shaped, but… Flat.

Where I had only rage before was now just the usual. I pull back and really look at this.... Is it really a keyblade? It’s paper thin, maybe even thinner. By the way Felix’s is holing it, the thing must have mass. Before, this one had been a colorful mess. Now its little cubes where all just scattered grays with a gold handle.

“Is that actually a keyblade?” But wait, “Don’t keyblades have to have their keychains swapped out to change forms?”

Felix looked at me with a shrug, “I…dunno. Maybe it was real in the datascape? I’ve never had to do keychains for mine. JJ said it was real.” Again with this ‘JJ’ character and his strange apprehension.

I thought about it for a moment, does it matter if it's real? Keyblades of the minor variety weren't something Xehanort cared about. If he did, he’d have made all of his peons welders; that's something he, a master, can do.

…Could I do that? 

Before I really thought about it, “Hey, come over here.” Holding my keyblade toward the ground, “Put your hand on Void Gear.” Felix stepped over curiously before putting his hands on the cold metal, touching it with his strange unnecessary delicateness, rubbing his fingers along the metal curiously. “Come on, it’s not going to break. Grab the damn thing” Felix decided to grip one of the random chains.

“Alright.” I have no idea what I'm doing, “Masters can give keyblades to others. I saw Terra do it once.” He wasn’t actually a master and could do it, I have more right to it than the worthless lughead. “I don’t really remember the words…” Being in a tree 50 ft away and all.

Thankfully before it got awkward, Felix pipped up, “Maybe it's just about intention? That’s a big part of magic. I found out when ya can’t talk you can still mangle out the meaning and it’ll work.”

“True enough. We’re both going to close our eyes, and I'm going to think about giving you a real keyblade, and you're going to think about receiving one. Got it?”

“Gottcha!!” Excitedly closing his eyes and silently whispering something.

I close mine and attempt to… display? My will? Transmit my will? My desire for this little rat to have a keyblade.

There was only the sound of the wind. The Unversed all around us stared on quietly. 

Holy hell I feel stupid. We must look so dumb.

Something moved in my pocket, and I jumped up, what the heck? Felix fell on his back, raising the hand that touched Void Gear into the sky, staring at it with intense fascination “I think it worked!”

“What makes you think that?” Slipping my hand in my pocket I felt the same horrible not-feeling of one of Felix’s deplorable commands.

With a flick of his wrist, he summoned Void Gear, but the proper form of it. Red and blue and clearly a living blade. My rage is only tempered by how utterly stupid and massive it looks in Felix’s tiny hands, like he’s going to fall over if he holds it wrong. Thing’s more like a great-axe than a normal keyblade.

Out of my pocket came what could only charitably be called a ‘chain’. A series of floating blocky ‘links’ that formed a blobby boxy mess of a charm at the end. Felix recognized it, “So, if you attach that to your keyblade it’ll make Zero/One?”

I don’t want to find out, “Likely.” Slipping it back into my pocket.

What a day. I’m already tired, annoyed, and now I have a worthless paperweight I have to throw away when he and the Unversed aren't watching me. 

The meeting is still not for a few more hours. I’ve made no quantifiable difference in Felix’s overall abilities, let alone have even a half decent picture of what’s going on. Might have even made the picture worse with that stunt.

But I did finally remember something, “That’s it, you're doing some drills, you’ve got bad habits and I'm going to find them and fix them. Get ready!”

Felix held up a battle stance, similar to that cat boys battle stance, but was off balance from the heavy Void Gear. Why that stance? Seems bad considering that Felix just ate shit trying it. “Set up your normal kit, you look ridiculous with that.”

Hours go by. Hours that felt like they dragged on into eternity.

Felix can fight, he can use magic, he has a number of strange abilities, and all of it, every single last thing about it is hampered by his constant NEVER ENDING overthinking and complete inexperience with tactile sensations. The over committed movements? Overthinking. The random spikes of distraction? Touched something new for the first time. The freezing? He was thinking about every single thing too hard and he kept having to pause.   

“How come when I'm upside down my head feels funny?” He says, currently being held by his feet upside down by a Wild Bruser while holding one of the Jellyshades I can’t stop making.

To the Bruiser I say, “Drop.” Then after Felix picks himself out of the sand, “It’s cause gravity pulls blood to your head.” We haven't even fought any Unversed yet. Why bother? The pausing means even the slowest Unversed can get out of range before his swings go off. Trying to fight him like Xehanort would is futile. I just knock him around and nothing actually changes. I’m trying to do the same thing my master did but it’s just not working. I say do better and he asks how. I don’t know! I always just kinda did. Xehanort never answered me either. Just keep trying? But I'm on a time limit and it took me four years to get good enough for the first plan. We don’t have that time. 

Now with a stack of three, “Vanitas, why do the jelly guys come in multiple colors?” Clearly stalking down the last color he didn’t have.

“Misery comes in many forms.” This conversation, for one. Rubbing my temple, I just finally caved in and took a peek at Ventus’s memory on training. Eraqus made them just swing at the air, or cast the same spell hundreds of times. It’s so lame and boring but maybe that’s what Felix needs. 

“Felix.” My voice is uncomfortably quiet, but he did hear me and blunders over. I point at a partially large rock, “See that? Blast it with fire until I tell you to stop.”

With an enthusiastic screech he blasts it. His first shot went so wild it singed some of the fog of Jellyshades. He apologizes to the other non-sentient blobs. It seems no matter what, this is going to take forever.

Two.

I cannot believe this shit. 

The organization has TWO Sora Replicas. Why?! We don’t need Sora, he’s just a lame punk who accidently got MY keyblade. He’s not special, he’s not strong, I’m supposed to be the special one, I’m supposed to be the guy that was chosen by the keyblade not him! We don’t need one of him, let alone TWO of him! 

Why Vanitas wears that stupid helmet getup, I don't know or care. I'm just lucky I never have to bother with them again-

“Riku Replica,” my ‘master’ Xemnas drawls, “Please fetch Vanitas and the other one. At this rate they are liable to be late to the meeting.”

My eye twitches, “And why do we care if they’re late?”

“I would like to set up a report with them before recruiting them to our mission. Now go.”

No-nuts still thinks that plan will work? I grumble the entire time I make the portal and head out to that weirdo field of gross things. Un…something. Uncreative is my guess, they’re like if heartless and nobodies fused together and drank water from lead pipes.

When I arrive, the nasty things scurry away in all directions, and I'm nearly bowled over by the lesser Sora Replica flying through the air before landing by a series of Sora shaped imprints on the ground.

“S-Sorry!” They’re out of breath, but smiling deliriously, and run back to the cliff, “How was that?”

“Better, but nowhere near good enough.” A tired voice came from inside the valley.

The lesser Sora Replica snaps his fingers, “Dang, I thought I had it that time! Air stepping’s tricky. Can you go over some of your tips again? I think I'm close.”

“You're doing everything correctly, just not holding the stance for long enough for the bigger distances. How’s your focus?” That Vanitas guy exits a portal to talk to the replica. He either doesn’t notice me, or is ignoring me.

“Uh alright? I don't really understand what you mean about- about gaug-gaudinging it.” The Replica sways on his feet.

“Whatever later.” Vanitas snapping his fingers, and a weird blue jar parks itself on top of the smaller Sora’s head, “Any more questions?”

“Wh-what’s next?” He’s eager to be thrown into the dirt again. Cringe. 

“The Next thing you’re doing is going to the meeting.” I said while stepping between the two.

A mistake as Vanitas grabs me by the throat and tosses me into the revenue, “I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF TEACHING FUCK OFF.”

I landed on a fat gladiator man, who growled and dropped me into the dirt. What the heck?! I portal on back, “I'm serious, the meeting is in 15 minutes! What the hell is your problem?”

He snapped back around, “What part of-!”

“Va- I mean- Master, he's right.” The bitch Sora said, staring at a hovering hourglass with a face (The fuck? Why?), “I think it’s time to go.”

Vanitas stares at it, before huffing and… taking off his jacket? “What are you doing?”

“You can’t travel in Dark Corridors without some form of darkness protection you neophyte.” Putting the coat on the replica, less like how one would help someone in a jacket and more like he was kidnapping them with a sack. For some reason the little bitch Sora laughs. Giggling and squirming while that Vanitas guy just hauls him under one arm and leaves through a portal he made.

What the hell were they doing? Goofing off? Why’s he so happy? This has been nothing but hell, is Vanitas an easy instructor or something? This Is so unfair stupid Soras slacking off!!

–

I, Felix Von Data-Sora, dislike the meetings. With every fiber of my being.

“Sora continues to solve world issues at a pace we cannot understand and in an order that makes no sense, why he chooses to return to world so often is without logic, why it takes him weeks to clean up one world then solve Monstropolis in the span of an ‘afternoon’ we just don't know yet. Incidentally his traveling companions don't understand either, and comment about that frequently.”

Why do they want to hurt these people?

“Kairi’s movements continue to elude us, whatever this new ‘selfie’ program is has been hiding their tracks embarrassingly well.”

What do they gain from starting a war?

“Riku and the King remain steadfast in their attempts to breach the Dark Realm.”

What does anyone get from this? Vanitas practically sounds like a hostage half the time, and hasn’t really said what he’s getting. Munny? Vexen might be getting munny for research but no one else but Xehanort seems to be benefiting. Do they just like hurting people? I can believe it with Larxene. But Xion? Luxord? Is the pay really that good? Are they also being hostaged?

Maybe it’s not hate, just anger. But I don't get it. 

“Felix.” The old man Xehanort calls, “And what did Vanitas have you do today?” Looking down on Vanitas, like he’s some kind of bug, wasn’t he his student? Why’s he hate him so much? Vanitas was a great student he remembers so much!

“We did lots of combat training today.” It was a lot of fun, but Vanitas said to never ever ever call it fun because Xehanort is a big meanie. “Vanitas wanted to know what kind of fighter I was.” After a pause Vanitas jabbed me with his elbow. Rolling his hand to continue. Did I forget something? Oh yeah, “Also I can talk better now.”

Xehanort seemed almost amused, “And did you get an answer?”

Vanitas shifted slightly, he’s always on his feet like a fight during these, and calmly said, “Overly direct and simple, but with plenty of stamina to burn.”

I could stop myself, getting too excited, “Yeah yeah! Then he made me practice a bunch of skills to get rid of bad habits I had! I did 231 Air Slides today!”

Vanitas then lost his cool, “And tomorrow I'm going to have to teach you how numbers and counting works! 486! You did 486! HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING? Quick, how many dodge rolls?”

Huh? I keep perfectly accurate counts now that I'm in the real world! “242.”

“Okay, that one's correct, what about aerial recoveries?”

“148?”

He growls and claws at his helmet a bit, “Not even close! 403! How many times did you cast fire?”

How was I wrong? “34?” Ok that one seems low…

“How the- NO! 544!” He suddenly snaps back into being still as a statue, voice flat, “But, counting aside, Felix has been a… student for the first day.”

Xehanort and many others seemed to laugh at Vanitas’s loss of control. I’ll have to do better. Ohh, but how? I love keeping track of numbers but raw counts are really hard for me. That’s a problem with how I was made. Could Vexen fix that?

The old man suddenly says, “Punish him. It’s obvious he’s playing some trick on you to get a reaction.” Whaaaat? Am not!

Vanitas is right back into being angry, but I know what happens now. Vanitas seems to think about something, before turning to Xehanort, “Is there any you would recommend?”

The entire organization goes really quiet looking at each other, lemon Larxene seems really excited. What kind of punishments does Xehanort do? Vanitas made it sound like they’re horrible…!

“The fingers. A classic.” He said it in a really creepy way but…

Just that one? I don’t get it. I offer a hand. Vanitas holds it for a moment before very softly whispering, “Pretend it hurts like hell. Don’t heal it till we’re out of sight.”

Pain is normal. It’s not anything I haven't experienced before. It’s okay. It’s not the same as hurt.

But I can pretend to hurt. It’s easy.

Vanitas snapped my fingers again, I pretended to wince like I poked my hand in a dangerous collision box and I just thought about… Ava. My tears are quick to come and I can't stop the weird sniffling thing and the funny breathing. The hurt’s still raw. Will this work Vanitas?

Xehanort laughs, “Oh? A quiet one, isn’t he? You must work on your technique, clearly you're doing it wrong if that’s it. Shall I demonstrate?”

Vanitas went to say something, but Xehanort had already appeared. Taking my hand away from his.

“Now pay attention Vanitas, when you want to maximize pain start from the nub.”

Whenever Vanitas broke one of my fingers, he just grabbed the base and pulled it back, breaking it in one spot. But Xehanort, oh man, he pressed his palm against the finger forcing the finger in towards my hand while also bending it back. I heard 5 snaps, but I tried to keep my reaction the same. Satisfied he returned to his pillar.

Big bully. Vanitas growls but doesn't do anything more. My fingers feel stiff and a bit uncomfortable, especially the one Xehanort broke, very strange, but it’s nothing really. I once got my leg stuck between two Blox, and that felt way way worse.

As the meeting dies down, I see him, the Riku. He’s glaring at me. I didn’t mean to make him mad. Maybe I can get him a gift or something? Or say something nice to cheer him up?

But what if he tries to… I mean it seems… He seems like… No. Even JJ is nice. He just…doesn’t like it when I screw up very much. Rikuplica is probably the same, but he can’t just go around erasing things. Vanitas doesn’t either but…Vanitas is less…scary about it? I don’t even know what I'm saying anymore. I shouldn't be assuming things about Rikuplica just because he seems to be a replica of Riku like JJ. Bad Felix.

I just ignore the Riku.

For the first time in ages Xehanort says something nice, “Do to everyone's acceptable behavior, ketchup shall be returned to the mess hall.”

Vanitas quietly whispers, “Finally.” 

“Are there any more questions tonight before the meeting is over?”

I raise my hand, “I have a question for young Xehanort!” Vanitas freezes up and a butch of the others laugh at me. 

“...Go on.” Master Xehanort says.

Looking right at young Xehanort who seems to be glaring at me, “Why did your parents name you Young? What happens when you get old?”

The laughter intensifies, except Young Xehanort’s whose face went red, definitely not laughing, “I hate you.”

Master Xehanort makes an unfriendly sound, “Vanitas keep better reign on your student. They shouldn’t be asking so many questions and speaking out of turn.”

Why? That's dumb. I bet you did that to him for some reason. Mean old man.

–

When I leave the meeting, I leave Felix on top of the roof of the mess hall with a Monotrucker. I get in line and I get both mine and Felix's food. For some reason they weigh differently.

When I get back to him, I toss the white box it’s in at him and he catches it. Opening my own, it’s cube day again. I get to snacking.

Felix opens his and what the hell, “Vanitas, what's this stuff?” It's a pale-yellow slime. It smells like fruit.

“Fruit slime.” I basically ignore Felix as I focus on the corridors. After a few minutes I jump off the building and peek inside, finding it totally empty. Damn it, I was so careful, I counted who went in and who left, how did I miss their corridor? Unless someone walked out instead? 

I unleash a Flood to stake out the joint. I’m going to find this prick.

–

I thought it’d be a cold day in Underworld before Saix offered to sit at my table to gamble. But He seems more interested in rambling than playing. Either way I’m intrigued. 

“Can you believe it?” Saix sneered, “I already have to assign everyone his missions but now also on my plate I have to assign baby tasks to an idiot? Wasn’t Demyx one too many? What are we even doing anymore Luxord? Why do we even need a mission structure like this?” It was odd to see Saix so ‘emotional.’ Perhaps his heart was returning faster than before now that his reason to suppress his emotions jumped the fence. 

I shuffled my cards idly. “You’ll likely find the new lad far more capable than Demyx. Being in Vanitas’s orbit will keep him from becoming complacent. Just keep him away from math.” No one is sure why he said those numbers. A strange joke? But he didn’t seem to be in on it if it was. “About the missions…my only guess is Xehanort likes to keep us busy-”

I was about to say something else, but from down the hall a blood curdling scream pierced the air. “WAIT STOP!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

Without hesitation, with teamwork I didn't know we had, we sprang into action. Readying my cards to cast stop, filling them with magic while Saix summoned his claymore with a vicious growl. Racing down the hall, Saix kicking down the door to the shower room with a commanding roar, “What the hell is going on here?!”

Of all the things we could have seen, all the unseemly horrors that we had prepared ourselves for, I certainly hadn't been betting on the two we were just talking about having a banal argument. 

Despite Saix’s order, Felix continued to scream, while Vanitas, attempted to pull him into the water.

Vanitas under the shower stream clearly annoyed, “Why are you yelling?! It’s just the shower!! You’ve been doing this for MONTHS!” Holding on to Felix’s wrist with an iron grip and his student reduced to screaming and trying to pull away from the water as hard as he could. 

And for some reason both fully clothed. Minus Vanitas’s coat sitting on a rack nearby. God lord the mold that must be under their clothes might explain why they live in the trash.

As we continued to watch, even Felix's scream seemed rather strange. Stuck on the same note like a failing machine. Though he continued to pull away, it wasn’t as a desperate scramble as the sound seemed to make it. Actually, rather casual after a while, like a pouting young child attempting to leave a parent’s grip.

Saix held his head, suppressing his rage. He should be glad it's nothing. I shrug, “I’ll handle this, I'm sure it’s just miscommunication at its finest.”

He started counting under his breath. “One. Two. Three. They’re idiots. Four. Five. Six. Doing something stupid. Seven. Eight. Nine. Get them to explain themselves, punish accordingly. Ten.”

I don't think that gave him any composure.

Stepping up to the two, I said, “Good evening, Vanitas, Felix.” Vanitas just stared, though Felix attempted something of a greeting through gritted teeth, the scream ending in a sharp click, and a half-raised hand. “What are you two doing?”

Motionless like a statute, Vanitas said “Taking a shower. What the hell else would we be doing?”

Fidgeting and delayed, Felix said, “Ta     ke. Sh sh ower.” Then paused, “And scream. On acci  dent.”

“On accident?! Sounded pretty on purpose to me!” Vanitas shook the boy some, but did finally let them go. Felix took a few steps back, head over his arms like he was trying to protect himself and shivered. Vanitas growled again, “I don’t GET you. WE do this all the time! Now you start freaking out when there’s water?!”

Sighing, “Vanitas, have you considered Felix’s new condition might have made him a bit…” Looking at the kid I have no idea what's wrong with him, shooting in the dark here, “I have no idea really, perhaps overly sensitive?”

From still as the dead to wildly animated, Vanitas swore horridly, clawing at his helmet and summoned a hoard of Unversed. Punching at his head, “How the hell did I forget?!” If you try to remember things by hitting yourself on the head, I am not shocked you’d struggle. When he stopped and lifted his arm, I thought he was going to punch Felix, but he put his hand on his head, “Damn it all, how are we gonna get you clean…?” 

Through the steam of the shower, it almost looked like a tender motion, until he opened his mouth again, “How's about a bucket? It's like one big drop of water instead of thousands.” Before Felix could say anything, Vanitas snapped his fingers, one of the fresh Unversed gave him an extremely large full bucket of water and dunked it on Felix’s head.

The scream was muffled by the water, the poor lad went stiff as a board, and when it was all over Felix looked like a sad drowned cat. Eyes unfocused. Intermittent tremors. Waving a hand in his face it was obvious he isn't with us currently.

Vanitas gave him a sharp slap on his shoulder, “No soap for you today.” Before tossing the bucket over his shoulder and breaking it, “So you’ll get over this quicker right?” When he got no response, he snorted, “Imagine being so weak that water causes you stress.”

“That’s not really fair Vanitas, you wear a full body suit.”

“It’s just water!” Peeling back the suit to have his scarred hands free, “It's literally just-” The second his hand touched it he snatched it back, seemingly offended, “What the- that is nothing like rain! Why’s it warm!?”

I could only stare. Guess he’s been blind to the modern conveniences just at his fingertips. He reformed his suit with a huff.

Saix was still processing things himself, a question obviously on his lips but holding it back. Maybe they wouldn't react well or more likely he was waiting for Felix to regain his wits. Saix does rather hate repeating himself.

About a full minute later, “Boss.” Felix suddenly said comedically flat, “Can you never do that again? I mean it.”

“Never talk to me about spit ever again and you’ve got a deal.” Vanitas says, pointing at Felix and jabbing his finger into the kid's face.

The horror on Saix’s face when Felix had to really stop and think about it, before, “Okay! Can do.”

I clap my hands together, “Well now! A bargain is struck. Though to add on to this, Felix in the future please try to keep your screaming to when you are in serious bodily harm or other some such things where you need help? Look at poor Saix, he's beside himself in worry.”

“No he’s not, he's just confused about something.” Vanitas turned off the shower water. “But yeah, I will allow that rule.”

Saix finally recovered, asked, so tired, so exasperated to the max, holding every ounce of rage back, “I have two questions. First off, Felix, why exactly did you scream?”

“Water was too much to process in one go and then there was more of it.”

“Fine.” Oh, he’s mad again, “To the both of you… Why…are you two showering in your clothes?”

Vanitas rolled his hand at Saix, “As opposed to…?”

I couldn't help it this time, “Most people shower in the nude, you know to actually get clean.” 

Felix asked, “What’s nude mean?”

“Naked. No clothes.” Vanitas answered, but shook his head, looking back to me, “Why would we do that? Dirt’s on clothes.”

Disgusting. “And who told you that was acceptable?”

“Xehanort. He used to just toss a bucket of water on me once a week. Vexen ordering me is the only reason I'm here so often.”

Gobsmacked, I couldn't help but shake my head, “Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with Xehanort? His cruelty is nonsense! Could he really not be arsed to teach you basic hygiene? What about the dirt that gets under your clothes?”

Felix tilted his head in confusion, “Under our clothes? There’s something… under them?” Looking at the floor baffled and then looking at his feet, lifting them up to look underneath, “What’s under them? The floor?”

The entire room turned dead silent. Everyone from Saix, each and every Unversed, to a particularly comedic Vanitas, hands held before his face, slowly turned to look at Felix with such obvious horror, yet the child didn't seem to notice.

Vanitas slunked down to his level, “Look, I know you're not THAT dumb. You can’t be, I refuse. Even Ventus knows this stuff. They meant under your clothes; you know like where your shoulder is.” His voice suddenly took on a sharp pang of distress, “Please, please tell me you know there’s like, a body under your clothes, right? That you can take your clothes off, right?!”

Felix jumped up with a gasp, “Wait really?! Do you think I can now? It won’t be culled away or anything?”

Vanitas screamed, turning away, creating some kind of bird that started screaming instead of him and he threw it at the door where it flew off in a panic. The absolute picture of calm he turned back to Felix and said, “I'm sure you can. But not now. Cause that’s weird.”

“Shall we get Vexen?” I asked, “I don't know what the lad means by...culling.”

Vanitas looked ready to strangle me for a moment before Unversed crawled out of his back and he returned to calm, “We really don’t need to know.”

“I think I know what he means,” Saix wirily offered, “In video game terms, it’s basically a practice of unloading things when they're not being rendered. Basically, not showing things that aren't supposed to be seen to save on resources.”

I keep forgetting that at one point Isa and lea, would have gotten to play video games together.

Vanitas groans, “How many times do I have to tell you? We. Are. In. The. REAL WORLD! It’s not like a computer, there are no limitations to how many things can exist at once! Nothing stops existing just because it’s hidden away or whatever.”

“Wait, so, everything within everyone and in every room is loaded in always? I don’t understand how they can always be there, even for the mirror people?”

“Mirror people? The hell are you on about NOW? That’s just a reflection.”

“Yeah, so even they have like organs? You said nothing stops existing just cause we can’t see them. So that means organs are still loaded in right? So are they loaded into them as well?”

Me and Saix share a look at each other, this is exhausting. We started to back up and I try to say, “Well it’s been-”

Vanitas interrupts me, “Felix. Where you're from, how do mirrors work?”

“Oh easy. So, they're kind of expensive and they’re not a lot of them because it's a duplicate of the room we're in and it also creates a second instance of you that mirrors your actions and positions. Sometimes they can get desynced though, but this place has them perfect. Like perfect perfect!” Dancing in front of the mirrors in a silly way, “Usually that's enough to desync the ones at home, but perfect here!”

With nods and a very quiet, very sarcastic, “Huh interesting.” Vanitas punches the mirror, shattering the glass and peeling a chunk of it away. Tapping on the bare wall “As you can see. One room. This bathroom doesn't have a copy over there. This glass is just a reflection, a bouncing of light that produces an image or something.”

Gob wide open like a fish, Felix shouts “THAT’S INSANE, the real worlds crazy!!” Touching the wall and the shard of mirror, intrigued. “How doesn’t it crash?! It’s insane!”

OKAY. It’s time to leave. We walk out to the half-heard sounds of Vanitas trying and failing to explain something. Probably the refraction of light.

Once well out of range I sigh, “...Well that certainly was something. Like getting swept up in a hurricane.”

Saix looks like he’s been on the clock an extra 600 hours of overtime, “I need to apologize to Xion. Her questions are all entirely reasonable in the face of…that.”

“10 munny says those two are the soap thieves.”

“Luxord if you need munny just ask, of course it’s them.”

The evening meeting is over, showers done, there's nothing left to do but return to the cave.

“So, these are the car batteries?” With a walking talking Felix. This is almost what you wanted, Vanitas. 

“Yes. Don’t touch anything out there.” Walking past the heaps of ash and the boxy remains of appliances. This is what you got, now you have to deal with it. 

“Why do they dump stuff here again?”

“To bu- To bother us.” Finally walking past the fallen door and lying in the center of the room. How he managed to arrange the floor may forever be half a mystery but at least he can't change the roof…aside from the sword. And the creatures.

“Why do they do things to bother people?” Damnit. “Aren't there other caves that would be better for trash anyways?” Felix rolls to the floor beside me. 

“I can find a new cave to park you in.” Then cave in the entrance and never have to deal with this again.

“But I like this one, it has Floods.”

“There are plenty with Floods.” I could tell Xehanort he’s dead or something and maybe it could work out. I'd probably have to crush him under a rock too and definitely never teach him corridors… Nah. It won’t work. Nothing’s worked so far.

“But then it might not have you.” Felix is just the picture of happiness. Relaxed. He doesn’t seem to care about anything. Lounging around all Ventus like, asshole I’m going to give him a reason to if he keeps this shit up. He yawns, “So why hatred exactly? You said I have to hate people for strength or something?

“Hatred is the source of organizations' power. It's how Xehanort runs things. It works.” Quit questioning me already!

“Does it really though? I thought they had already failed before.” I kick him but he just takes it and rolls over. “But like…won't hate make us not wanna trust each other, or work together?”

“You shouldn’t trust the others. They have their own reasons and none of them will be good, at least for anyone besides themselves.”

“But then why bother with a group at all?”

“You’ll notice more than half are just copies of Xehanort, he needs people for this.”

“Wouldn't hiring a dozen or so teenagers and giving them keyblades be easier?”

“Not enough light and darkness to create the X-Blade. Are you even paying attention?” That’s it! Felix has grown complacent already! “They’re not your friends. You’ll never have that many anyways. You don’t even have any now.”

Felix has the gal to just look at me funny, “I had- have plenty of friends. They're all back home.”

“Your friends can’t have been that good. You're here instead of with them after all.”

Bingo. I hit a nerve. Felix’s eye twitched along with his anger, “I had to leave. Not because of them. Because of me. I was making a mess and JJ has to fix it all the time. It...it wasn’t fair to them.”

“You sure they didn't actively chase you off?”

“No never! I mean JJ would punish me sure but it was for my good. The system was suffering with me there. I mean why else would he do that?” Oh options. Keep going after his friend or maybe dig into him… if they were suffering that’d make Felix a villain in his own eyes right? Perhaps another night, he’ll be better at hurting himself at this point.

“Some insight from your master; If ‘the system’ was struggling because of you, as the leader, it would have been JJ's job to get rid of you.” Titling my own head to mock them, “Are you sure you made the decision to leave? Or did JJ make you think that. I’ll bet he kicked you out because you didn’t fit in.” 

“Huh? JJ wouldn’t do that to me.” Frowning, denial filling the air, “He’s my best friend…” He’s thinking too hard about it, there's too much doubt. Too much fear.

“And yet here you are.” Gesturing to my cave, “Found your soul drifting into one of the empty replicas.” I leaned in close to his head to drive the point home. “By chance.” I held my gaze. It’s so hard not to laugh and gloat; I've found the crack in the armor. 

Felix suddenly gets a burst of rage, launching onto his feet standing over me. “He was my best friend!” It's a much more familiar face. Too familiar. It's... wrong.

But it doesn't stop me. I stand slowly. Getting right back into his face, “Was.”

Red as a radish, on the verge of tears Felix turned away, and tried to cast away his feelings. He takes a few deep opened mouth breaths, squeezing that rage into a corner of his heart, before turning back with a forced smile, “So what about my question? From way earlier. About the Rocks and Stones? You never did answer it.”

Trying to ignore the gnawing bad feeling by changing the subject. I'll have to remember how upset it makes him for later, but I'll let this count as strike one. When he does it twice more, he’s going to wish he was never born.

“Doesn’t matter. Stones are made of rocks.”

“Ohh… but then what are rocks made out of?”

“Stones.”

Felix laughed, his boiling anger already down to a simmer. Yellow Mustards spring into the air. I'm not jealous, what’s there to be jealous of? His stupidity??

“Go to bed, rat.” I get up and head to my room, “Or better yet. Stay up. Think about everything I've told you today. No sleeping. The Unversed will keep you up.” Ha! Try and stay positive after all this you waste of space!

Already on a bad foot with Vanitas. I gotta learn how to shut up already. It keeps getting me in trouble.

Sitting in the center of the cave, I slowly rubbed my hands on the smooth stones. I had arranged them that day cause my eyes felt like working and thought it’d be nice. I don’t know if Vanitas liked them very much. It was probably too much to do without asking…

‘Just can’t leave well enough alone huh Sora?’ I can hear it in JJ’s voice. Ava’s too. More if I think about it. 

Did JJ… really do that? Would he- yes. He had the power. But the only people I can ask…are gone.

I’ll just do what I always do and stop thinking about it, I guess. Jiminy wrote it all over the margins of the journal. Seems like that’s a power Sora has. To just stop thinking and do the right thing. I think I've only ever done the right thing once. Every other time, I'm just… inconsiderate.

The Boot that Boss call’s Bossy sits beside me. Although, is it sitting? It’s a shoe. Well, in a shoe? Shaped like a shoe? Well anyways, is it standing. Maybe? But it’s like lower, and not all tall. Crouching? In any case, I like it crouching next to me. I pat its head lightly. I’m slowly learning more about these guys from watching them.

“You guys are so cool. Did ya know you guys are a bit big?” Bossy looks at me funny, “I'm not calling you big! I’m saying you’re the size of a bit. A piece of heart the size of a grain of sand is also about one bit big, isn't that neat?” Bossy headbuts me. That's probably good. It’s like a pat back from a creature with no hands. Does it have feet or a foot? Or is it just a shoe? Can it leave the shoe? I should ask Vanitas.

But I sigh, slipping onto my back, staring at the ceiling, “Really made him mad today, didn’t I?” Rolling on to my side to face Bossy, “I'm trying not to. But everything’s so different here.” Touching the warm ‘rubbery’ texture of Bossy with another pat, sending a million points of data though my hand into my head and bottle necking everything. Again. 

Do I really have to use their boards too? I take their lives and just leach off the parts of them that are left? Ava hated me I guess. If hatred is needed, I guess I could just call the board a part of hers…? That’s probably not how that works. But I relent and finally activate both the boards in earnest. I really need the extra resources.

After who knows how long. “Everything. Absolutely everything.” Groaning as I sat back up, “If only I got to at least keep a few libraries! Then maybe I wouldn't be so dumb. Things weren't so confusing when every other entry doesn't tell me it’s missing.” Even with the new boards I'm probably not going to see an immediate improvement. Why’d I have to be made like this?

Why bother pretending. It's obvious even to me… I was never supposed to leave. 

Never supposed to be in a replica. Or meet Vanitas. Just stay stranded on that ‘island’.

And yet…JJ…knowing that… still let me.

I hold up Bossy Boot, looking them right into their glowing crimson eyes, “Can you help me? I want to understand Vanitas. Then maybe I can actually… I don't know, help?” Their face scrunches, “I know! I know! He doesn’t want help but I don't know what else to do for him.” I can feel tears building up again, “He’s done everything for me and I've been nothing but a burden! You were a part of him, right? Even if it’s just a tiny bit- oops, uh was for a tiny moment? I’m seriously trying my best here.”

The boot’s face could only glare. Then it was gone. In a blink it was gone and it was all I could do to grab my chest and wheeze. Desperate to get air I didn’t deserve, a stupid worthless failure that couldn’t do anything right…I don’t understand. The cave seems to spin. Why do I feel like this? Why am I so scared?

It’s not mine. 

I can breathe again, it’s not mine. For some reason I feel compelled to look at my hands that can’t stop shaking. Was this…what he felt? When he made Bossy Boot?

A Flood got near. Vanishing with a painful jot along my side. I felt like I had been stabbed, but I took no damage. Then a Mandrake. Regret of not going to a music world again before it was too late, lost forever. A Thornbite entangles me for a moment before all I can think about is they’re watching me there waiting for me to fail, they're coming to get me they are watching they are here- it’s not mine! An Axe Flapper startles me to my feet because Xehanort is in the room right now- he’s not! A Yellow Mustard gets right into my face, vanishing and I feel so so SO JEALOUS- it’s not mine!

I understand the Unversed now. Stumbling back, falling over my feet. I know what they are now. A bubble of laughter crawls out of my chest with some tears, I can't stop it for some reason. Why would they be anything else?

Well. It's just like normal. Guess the datascape and real world aren't always so different. I know what to do.

After all, what’s a few more hurts to hold?

Chapter Text

-Day 86-

I was woken up by sounds. Pathetic, deeply pathetic crying. Felix? Originally, I marched out to the cavern to yell at him but stilled when I actually saw him. Normally he’s surrounded by a veritable wall of Unversed. Today, he is alone.

Squirming, clearly not sleeping well, tears tracking down his face… yep, that’s a nightmare if I ever saw one. Where the hell are my Unversed?! I told them not to let him sleep! (The Unversed failed an easy job? From incompetency?! No! Couldn’t have been!) I can’t even sense them right; it's like they’re off-world.

Whatever, at least with the nightmare neither of us got any actual good sleep last night. The Unversed failed at preventing him from sleeping but if I wanted actual results, I should have asked one of those white skinny things. 

There’s something different about Felix again. Unplaceable. Visually I'm fairly sure nothing’s changed. Is it their heart? No. It’s still gray and full of holes. Clothes? No. Face? I wish. But no.

This is stupid. “Wake up loser!” I sent some Flood’s to bring me a bucket of… water…

I shouldn’t do that. Yesterday was enough of a pain to deal with. But masters always lie and go back on promises! The bucket is brought before me. 

…

By his ankle, I lift Felix in the air and dip him into the bucket. There; master asshole quota met, promise unbroken.

I am so good at this.

He woke with a gasp and a cough before pulling up out of the water, still somewhat shaken, “Oh. Good morning Vanitas.” So much less than the normal amount of enthusiasm. “I had a bad dream. It’s the first bad dream I've ever had…”

“You should be thanking me for getting you out of it then.” Dropping them to the side, “Why are you still so weightless? You need to bulk up, featherweight.” He’s gotten lighter every day.

He sat up so calmly for him, and in a serious tone, “Vanitas, would you like me to be more like you?” Did this little shit just call me FAT-?! No. That'd be suicide. He’d go from 4th to at least 3rd dumbest if he did.

“Well duh, it would be nice if you had more of…a…” I was going to say backbone but then Felix blinked and his eyes opened to a bright gold. His hair color shifted into black just as his skin also paled to something resembling mine. “Uh, that’s not…” My scars started appearing, “Stop stop stop!”

He did, tilting his head in confusion. Felix had already appeared to be an impossible me, and now even more so. All he needed was a dark suit and a few years and then he really would be me. But more importantly HOW LONG DID HE HAVE THE ABILITY TO TRANSFORM?!

I pinch my brow, “Okay. I promise, I won’t be mad and punish you if you tell me how long you’ve had this, provided you tell me why you didn't tell me sooner." I'm lying, I'm already pissed off. There had better be a good reason, and if not, I'll make it hurt twice as much.

“So, uh… shoot where to start…?” Felix’s wearing my face wrong, twisting it into his normal innocent confusion, eyes looking around at nothing as if that would help him find what he’s thinking about. “Well, uh, so I hav-had a friend named Ava.”

“What is it with you and your random friends?!” Groaning, “How relevant is she?”

“It was their power. They were an avatar program and part of that was gathering up new parts so users could change them as the user saw fit.” He paused at my no doubt unimpressed face, “Like a dress up doll. They would gather ‘parts’ for it by looking at people and copying them.”

“And you sure this wasn’t for identity theft?”

“Oh, Ava was great at that! But no, I promise you they weren't made for it.”

“Alright, and so this ‘Ava’ character…what? Taught it to you?” Can you even teach something like that?

“No. When we all got destroyed and re-compiled, there wasn’t much left of them, but their ability board was grafted onto mine so I have the ability now. It’s why I was melting before; after a hard restart its super normal for them to cycle through all there options but I guess when you’re a physical being that causes problems-”

This fucking kid I swear. “Bored now, finish transforming.” We will tackle that after the meeting, not before. But now my curiosity is getting to me, how perfect a mimic can he be?

Felix smiled and darkness wrapped around him, forming a dark suit. It wasn’t a true one but it looked the part. With it, he did look like a mirror image. If it was some kind of trick mirror that made you younger. Then his skin broke out into a sea of red, he was sweating blood out of every pour. A cacophony of bone snapping sounds accompanied rapid growth and he matched me perfectly in height, stature, and even voice when his big stupid mouth opened up to say, “Well? How do I look?” It was my voice. Just said with Felix's naturally relaxed inflection.

Walking around them, looking them over from more angles as the blood vanished into the air… “This is weird man.” It’s perfect outside of the wrong mind within, making me look way way way too casual. Would this be what Ventus looked like if he didn't get our face? The Unversed gathered around to also gander at the oddity. A Mandrake hopped up real close to get a look.

Felix said, “You're cute.” I almost lost it but then they even had the audacity to pet the accursed plant!

I punched them in the back of the head. “I do not say ‘cute’! I’ve never said cute!”

“But you just said it right now, twice.”

“Quit being a smartass.” Crossing my arms, “Or are you actually trying to mimic me?” I snort, “You’re not nearly angry enough for that.”

Felix fiddled with the edges of his skirt, “A little. But it doesn’t come naturally to me.” He rubbed his face, “I’m no actor.” Before suddenly shifting to, “Your glove’s make things feel like less!” Staring at them all happy like. Extra disgusting with my actual face.

“No shit idiot. That’s what gloves are for. Your normal crappy ones only protect your palms.” I considered leaving him this way for the meeting but decided to save it for another day, “Change back, eat something, then we leave.”

A far more familiar frown, but still lacking in anger, “Do I really gotta-”

“Yes!” Snapping my fingers and another Prize Pod arrived, this one dumping a pile of bright orange fruit on the ground, “Today’s attempt is heroic oranges.”

“Heroic oranges?” Felix’s voice comically rising in pitch as he crackled and snapped back into his smaller form, “Did they save someone?” The blood vanishes quickly and cleanly, unlike before when he melted.

“From scurvy, now shut up and eat your oranges.”

Felix looked at it, unhappy, but sank his teeth right in. Ripping out a huge chunk and chewing away. He didn’t faint. 

The meeting started, with Xehanort, looking uncharacteristically tired and crabby beyond belief, “My fellows in dark design I have… news. The hero, Sora, has finally entered Arendelle.” He takes a large dramatic sigh, “As agreed upon you are all off for the next week.”

What. I'm not going to complain but what’s happening? Felix, mid-much on an orange, raised his hand. An action still so baffling I was left speechless until Xehanort answered it.

“Shoo, Why teh thime off?” I drop my fist on top of his head, causing him to cough up chunks of orange onto my shoe. Gross. I now understand why Xehanort made me eat in silence way back in the day.

“The time space in Arendelle is particularly out of sorts with the rest of the universe. There you may think it has only been a few hours, but outside it’s a teeth grindingly slow experience.”

Vexen grumbled, “It took nearly three hours to realize the duck was talking about the damned ingredients again.”

Xehanort then looked at Felix again, “I'm sorry lad, are you…eating an orange?” Felix just nods his head, taking another bite. Xehanort winces, “Are you…eating it with the peel?”

“It’s tasty and has a satisfying texture!” What’s his problem? Why remove the most filling part? 

Xehanort shakes his head, clearly chasing the thought away, “In any case you are all on vacation until Sora either leaves Arendelle or some other development happens. Meetings are canceled until then.” Then he went back to his normal look, “Except you Vanitas. Morning missions and your afternoon ‘teaching’ don’t change.”

Of course.

After the meeting, and with the knowledge that everyone was going to be packing for the week, there was but one goal of immediate importance down at the mess hall. The Flood I had stationed there informed me that ‘Ketchup’ was there.

Finally!

I use a dark corridor to quickly arrive only to find the place empty of all living things, other than that Flood standing on a rolling tray in between a red and yellow pump. I briefly summon another to fetch Felix something distracting. They chose one of the boxes of food the squiggly guys hand out.

The Flood on the cart pointed to the red pump, tapping a label with ‘Ketchups’ written on it.

What a fucking idiot.

“I told you to find this Ketchup guy, not his personal drink dispenser!”

The Flood squinted its eyes at me before handing me a small paper cup and dragging my arm to under the bottle’s nozzle. The Flood then get’s ready to give it a push.

I mean, if no one is watching, I can’t imagine that Ketchup would find out. I signal to the Flood to take a single pump of Ketchup’s mystery goo. Some weird red…ungodly thick red stuff. With a shrug I take a sip.

And nearly instantly spit it out. “What the fuck is this, pureed tomato vinegar bathed in salt?” I make a corridor to leave, “Don’t waste my time!” Maybe the Intern already screwed up and Ketchup was gone again.

Returning to Felix, he was busy…embarrassing me chewing on a part of the plastic box. Whatever was in it might have been eaten.

I ripped it out of his mouth whereupon he finally noticed me, “Oh, hello again! Did you meet Ketchup?”

“No.” I offer the cup. 

Felix looks at it funny, “What’s this?” I shake the cup expectantly and one curious Felix sip later… “Yuck! Yuck yuck, what? What is that? Nooo.” Face comedically twisted. Not even his broken sense of taste likes it.

“Ketchup left a bottle with it in the hall.” 

“Huh? Wait, do you think they mean ‘Catsup?’ ‘cause that is…” Then a complete full body pause, before, “Dang nabbit. Blank cell error again. I don’t know anymore.”

“...You met Ketchup? Where the hell did you meet him?!”

“In a dictionary once, I'm sure.” 

“That's a book you idiot.”

“Maybe we should ask Vexen-”

“You will do no such thing! I can find some idiot. Just need more time.” Thinking about it more, he’s probably just on vacation. 

But there was still a mission today. 

No more time to waste, we went to find the only person left; one annoyed plain faced Saix waiting in the break room.

“You don’t have to pretend to be all stoic, I take it that me needing jobs means you still have to dole them out?”

“Unfortunately.” Instead of getting mad he just took a moment to breathe and calm down. “The problem is while I could just have you continuing what you were doing before there isn’t much left. You’ve caught up on most of Demyx’s work, and sending you out to Monstropolis is pointless when I could be sending you to do missions or tasks that actually need to be tackled. Especially if I can personally create the missions.” Rubbing his chin in thought.

Felix peeps up, “Can I have missions too?”

“Certainly.” Saix instantly says, “I have plenty of benign office work you can handle…but what for Vanitas…?”

Ansem- where the hell did he come from, says, “I am in need of Vanitas’s services. Take this into consideration while you assign him missions.”

I raised a brow, not that he could see, “And what ‘service’ of mine do you need?”

“As you are aware, my search continues. Though Heartless have many talents and can easily track it down, they are swayed by others. It’s unspoken, unbreakable will orders them to stay away so they do. Unversed do not have that weakness as they serve only one master. You.”

“So what? You want unswayable scouts or whatever?”

“Correct. I want you to make them for me now. I require fresh ones.”

“And why not just get you some from the valley my Unversed already infested?”

“Those ones are old, not made with this purpose, and are capable of unneeded sass.”

All of us look at him then look at each other, has he tried ordering my Unversed around already? Without consulting me? What did he think would happen? Whatever. I cross my arms, “Fine, provided Saix clears it.”

He shrugs, “It will work for today.”

Felix at this point has started looking out in a seemingly random direction before pointing, “Isn’t that guy you're looking for over there?” After a moment of consideration, it was in the direction of Terra’s armor.

“Close but no cigar.” Ansem opens a corridor, “Follow me Vanitas, this should not take long.”

It really didn’t, but I got shanghaied into trying to hunt down the Terra Heartless thing for way to damn long. Flood were set off on the ground and corners, Archravens hit the skies, and Sonic Blasters scanned about the middle. 

We did end up finding him. Five or Six time’s to be exact, but that stupid schlub stomped us every time.

After the last one, where basically Terra grabbed a Knuckle Bruiser and used its body to bludgeon the rest of the Unversed, I called it quits, “TO HELL WITH THIS. I’m not going to keep tossing myself at something this pointless! Come up with an actual plan!” Marching away before pointing to the remaining Unversed, “You all stay here! I’ll replace you when I sense you die.”

Ansem nodded, “Next time.” You said that the last seven times! “I have a better picture of his strategies now. I should be able to contain him before Xehanort decides to do something reckless.”

Ansem really isn’t the master, is he? How could he even think Xehanort would ever act ‘reckless’ ever? Stupid.

I make a corridor and stomp my way into the breakroom, Saix better be here… Thankfully he was at his station like usual. Putting down a book he turns to me, bored as could be, “Done already?”

“Where is he?” I hate dealing with my own boredom, let alone yours.

“Felix?” He was annoyed, “He’s in the back sorting some boxes.” I start walking away, “You’re not going to take him away until he’s done-”

With a loud whistle, panels all over the walls and floor opened up where Flood and Scrappers started following behind me. Sorting boxes? Really? I guess that's something to do with someone you can’t really trust to do much but it feels… stupid? Demining? I'm not sure what word I want because it was probably just Saix trying to set him to the side.

Kicking open the door I found Felix had beaten me somewhat to the idea of forced extra labor, “Hi Vanitas!” But the little ‘buddies’ worthless ugly looking dogs and cats were working in groups and could barely push around a few boxes. The only ones pushing their weight around seemed to be a lion, a wolf, and a crow. Felix Himself was moving about three boxes in each arm.

“Unversed, do your thing. Felix, get rid of these cretins, it's training time.”

“Wooo hoo training time!” Throwing boxes in the air from his enthusiasm. And stupidity. Scrappers managed to catch them before they hit the floor. “Hey hey Mr. Floods and company, Saix says the boxes should be moved to E-15 and put in number order!”

The Unversed snort and with skillful precision grab and dash. The ‘buddies’ are a pathetic trail of losers trailing at their heels.

“Enough of this garbage, shake the lead out and get movin’.”

Compared to yesterday, Felix's walking was like night to day. Before it was stuttery and only remotely smoothed when distracted. Now he’s the distraction blabbering away, practically dancing as he walks forwards in circles dodging around a gaggle of Flood actively trying and failing to knock him over.

“Can I give you a nickname?” Dodging three.

“No.”

“Can I nickname the Unversed?” Prancing around four more. “Oh, or you give me a nickname!”

“No.”

“So Xehanort and them said that Sora guy has a lot of extra hearts in him right?” Going off topic like a hummingbird darts around flowers.

“He has three in total. No, I don't know how he got them. One is Ventus for sure.” Cowardly little parasite. 

“Wait, if Sora has too many hearts, why doesn't he just vomit them up as Unversed?”

“That isn’t how ANY of this works Nitwit. Wait, I was INSULTING you don't you dare-!”

“NICKNAMES!!!!” Grabbing a Flood and twirling around in an actual dance this time. Already pretty dizzying considering I was at most a yard away from that Flood, when he hooked an arm under mine and forced me to spin once it was double sickening.

Yanking free, before crushing the Flood in my hand, “Do you even have any ideas for nicknames?”

“Uh…nope!” Doing that infuriatingly Ventus-like arms behind his head thing, “Most nicknames are just like shorter real names right? So Vani? Van? Va? V? Oh, or would that be Ve? Vi? ViVi? Oh I knew a Vivi, I can't do that!” Laughing all the while. “Vava?” Giggling away. “Veve?”

“Maybe I might let you have one… but only if you keep your trap shut for five whole minutes.” I waited for a response but didn’t get one. Felix was perfectly quiet with a big dumb look on his face. Strutting like he owned the place.

I really should just corridor already. But now that he’s quiet it’s almost peaceful…

Six minutes to the dot, maybe Felix wanted to be sure, he said, “What does Vexen do?”

“Creeps me the hell out.”

“Oh, I thought he was like a doctor or something.” After a moment, “So is it possible for strength to come from other places? I always thought I got mine from my friends.”

I could murder him. It’d be really easy. Murder is always on the table. 

At some point I grabbed Felix by the throat and started to drag him to the training ground. It didn’t stop his onslaught of questions; he kept trying to gargle them out anyways. It was everything in my power not to keep squeezing and squeezing till the noises stopped.

Instead, I shouted at him, “NO! I don’t know what a ‘Low mini reel error potas means! Nor a dee pleat iron! I don't know what these words mean! ASk VEXEN.” It’s not even NOON and I'm already praying for death. His death. Stop that. Finally reaching our destination I threw him as hard as I could to the floor, “Felix! First thing you're going to do today is 500 pushups, get started!”

Felix picks himself out of the dirt with a sharp shake, and begins with gusto counting aloud. Perfect, this gives me time to plan out my revenge. 

Pain doesn’t work for shit on Felix. I don't know how, but it doesn't work, he doesn’t care. I tried to imagine what Xehanort would do if he were training Felix. As it is he’d probably keep trying and failing and trying and failing. Would his patience ever give up or would his creativity get the better of Felix?  The Immovable Idiot vs the Unstoppable Master.

Can’t even do a push up right. “Felix, you need to go lower or I'll make you redo all of them!” He does. I send a Spider Chest to park on top of him, he needs the challenge.

However, unlike that old dementia ridden man, I have an alternative way to agony. It takes hunger I don’t really have and want that I have an overabundance of, but I sit down and specifically make a handful of Prize Pods. They’ll be a surprise tool to help me later. Then I make a ton of Unversed, fresh with purpose.

I tune back into Felix, “100, 101, did Ava eat the puppies and that's why I have them? Or maybe Eliminchan…? Hmm…102, 103…”

Talking absurdist nonsense, I wonder if he can even tell the difference between being awake and having a daydream.

Xehanort always said ‘suffering’ was the key. So, I just need a different way to make Felix suffer. Looking at him now, I see his fingers curled just so that hardly any exposed skin was touching the ground. The spots he picked to plant his hands were also fairly smooth and clear for the desert. If pain isn't going to cut it, I just have to let him experience other sensations that he hates with a literally crying passion.

How fun, might not even have to raise a single finger if I'm lucky…

“253, 254, 255, 0, 1, 2…”

What. No, I didn't hear that.

“3, 4, 5…”

WHAT?!

“No nono nooonoooo…” I couldn't help but groan as I turned to look at them directly in their dumb face, “Felix. What’s your count?”

“6.” Then his face twisted, “Ah gosh dang it I still can’t count Higher than 255? I was hoping being in the real world would fix that…”

“How- just How?!” Pressing my hand to my helmet, “No. No, don't explain it, computer garbage I assume. Can Vexen fix it?”

“If he can access my code, sure, he’s really smart!” Going back to pushups, “255’s not so bad. JJ once changed it so I could only count to three. Messed up my ability to make sentences and everything! It was annoying.”

What the actual fu-?!

“Your friends suck.” I should hunt down this ‘JJ’ and get notes on how to fuck with Felix, they seem to the only thing that truly gets under his skin. But wait, they might not be real. Would I just have to throttle Felix? Somehow consult his subconscious? Whatever digital data soup that got poured into his head seems to have REALLY screwed up some points. Is Felix twisting some sort of story that Vexen had in his computer? Mixing it with some kind of report on numbers? It just seems like total nonsense. “Quit getting off topic! Today we're going to do something very very important.”

 “Oh oh, is it more magic? Or air stepping? I'm sure I've almost got it.”

I grin. It’s go time. “Maybe in a bit. But first; take off your gloves.” He tried to stand up, “Oh no, stay down there. I’m trying to help your form.”

Felix looked a bit down, shifting his weight and looking around a bit before sighing and finally pressing one elbow to the ground. Wincing, then struggling to take the glove off, “Are gloves bad for form?”

“They’re holding you back.” He finally got one glove off, already looking sick, before peeling off the other and setting them aside. The first real breather of the day and it was for touching nothing. He returned to a pushup stance, only this time balancing precariously on only the last joints on his furled-up fingers. The palms pointedly looked like he tried to keep them away from the ground.

“You’ll destroy your fingers doing that.” How could protecting your palms be worth putting all that weight on your nails, “Lay your hands flat.” This was too easy, the disgust rolling off him could make a battalion of Sea Salt. Still, he did it anyway. Freezing up as expected, his palms dug into the dirt. “You will get stronger for this.”

Minutes later he finally nodded and continued at a snail's pace.

“Oh, and take off the jacket. It’s just in the way.” A tear threatened to leak free. But he just nodded for now.

We did that for hours. A constant stream of little tasks, new sensations, and torture. I’m sure I could have given him a noose and he really would have hanged himself. 

Doing fire spells without his gloves revealed he’d been doing them too close to his hands. Doing blizzard spells without his jacket left him stunned from the sudden changes in temperature. Cure couldn’t do much to stop the sun from burning his newly exposed skin or the wind from touching it or even his hair from being a bother as it touched his bare shoulders. I even offered him snacks, a false act of ‘kindness’, which he ate with a revolted look the entire time.

Felix for sure wasn’t happy with me, but he kept listening to me, “I’ll get used to it. I need to.” But the negative emotions still rolled off him. Finally, progress.

But what a waste! If only bottling emotions was as simple as Monstropolis made it seem! So much that would never take on the unholy shell of life Unversed take, just used on nothing but stewing. Not even good stewing! Cruel words and actions don’t earn a splash of emotion and a snarky comment like it would on a Larxene or a Braig before they actually start putting in work. No, in a Felix it makes him lose energy, go slower, and clam up. Not even spitting an insult!

Silence should be nice. Why isn’t it? It’s the most hostile he’s ever been to me. This should be ideal but…I'm so bored. This is basically what Xehanort does to fill his days now, why is it so BORING?

I needed a change of pace if nothing else, “Felix, summon your keyblade.”

Summoned, but he’d brace himself. When it appeared, he sighed in relief. Must not have felt like anything still.

A Flood takes position, “We’re going to try this again. Your opponent is this Flood.”

“Hello Flood!” and he took up his battle stance.

“Real friendly for something you’re going to kill.”

Felix shot me a horrified look, “I’m going to-?!” and then shrieked when the Flood darted in and slapped him for his lack of focus. He started blocking, “But I don't wanna kill it!”

“It’s fine. I’ll just make more.” Why? Why is he such a pathetic wimp? Is he afraid of them or afraid to hurt them? That’s the single stupidest thing I've heard all day. Week? Month? Latter half of this decade?

Dancing around the Flood, nudging it more away with the key then attacking, “But… but can you make the same one? Nothing’s lost for killing it?”

“What the hell are you on about? Sure? I want you to fight and kill this thing, if there were consequences I wouldn’t let you, but I told you, so just KILL HIM ALREADY!” Standing up and grabbing another Flood ripping it in half with my bare hands, “See?! SEEE? It’s FINE!” Making another in response to the pain, “Look! Same one or whatever!”

“Ohh, and you made another one too!” Felix’s mood picked up again. What a mess. This teaching thing’s annoying. You were never cut out for it.

Encourage him. “Kill the stupid thing, you might get a prize.” Not good enough, “I’ll tell you more about them.”

Why that was the thing that actually made Felix start fighting I'll never know. Though after a while it was clear he was just sparing with the damned thing. Avoiding lethal blows, having such a clear read on the Floods movements to time his swings to barely miss, it’d be impressive if that was the goal. 

“End this already!” I snapped. Startling him, screwing him up just enough he finally slashed through the Flood. The slash was still fairly clean, it barely hurt at all.

Felix fell to his knees and scrambled up to the pathetic creature, “Wait! Wait no no… I'm sorry!” Digging into the sand to pick what’s left of it up. Hands shaking in probably equal measure from his horror at the dying Unversed and the sand it was covered in. 

“You're serious?! All that, for a Flood?!”

It dissipated in his hands, the darkness returning to me. “I… I guess a part of me… They come from you. Don’t it… I don’t know. S-Sorry.” Shaking his head, giving up on explaining. They come from me, why does that matter? He’s never cared about me making them. Does he think I'm as weak as the Flood are? Does he think he’s better than me cause his monsters don’t seem to hurt him back? The idiot only speaks again after finally managing to notice in his hand, “What’s this?” Holding up a sinister shard.

“Synthesis material. The Unversed drop a variety.” Used to at least. He doesn’t need to know that, “You might be able to make something with them.” Then again given his staring, “Or collect them.” Then I can take them away when he disobeys? But how do I keep Xehanort taking them away from me?

Whatever, problems for a later Vanitas. For now, I just let all this building agitation and boredom and whatever else is pissing me off free as Unversed, “Get rid of these… but first.” A snap and a Prize Pod appears, putting a bottle in Felix’s hand, “Drink up, you’re probably thirsty.” The idiot still takes it and drinks it. Imbecile can barely take plain water without a whine, Tizzy Fizzy might as well be battery acid to him. 

With my unleashed rage alive, roaming around, and raring to fight, this should be much more fun…

It wasn’t.

Actively controlling the Unversed to aggravate and fight Felix did wonders for his willingness to kill and then tanked, nay, completely bottomed out his desire to follow any other order. He eventually built up enough of something, I don't know I couldn't really hear him over the rushing in my ears, magic I guess, that he could start smacking the Unversed from nearly goddamned half the fucking world away the so they couldn't physically touch him. Scratch that, so he didn’t have to physically touch them. Well that just pissed me off and I made more! And he killed those. So I made more! Why won’t he fight?! WHY THE HELL WON’T YOU FIGHT HARDER?!

He’d bat away the Flood! He'd use magnet spells to hoard them all away! I couldn't be sure from my literally blinding rage but I swear he grabbed some Unversed and put them in his pockets. What does he THINK I'M SOME KIND OF JOKE? So I made more and made him kill those! And the ones made form that I made him kill too! Serves him right trying to show those worthless cretins mercy!! Why can’t I fight?! Why aren't I fighting him?! I should kill him! I should throttle him against the rocks-!

If only I could beat his little face in, rip it off. Break his body so he’d never move again. I'd feel so much better. I know it would feel better. It felt better before. Do it. Do it Vanitas.

But there’s no one else to fight. Breaking him wouldn’t be worth it. It wouldn’t. Breaking him is the same as breaking a Flood, nothing would be left. But he’s doing that to my Flood! Wait, no I want him to hurt the Flood. Leave him alone. That’s weakness talking! It’s always TALKING! Go over there and be a REAL master! But that DOESN'T WORK STUPID; JUST LOOK AT HIM!

Crying, sniffing, desperately clawing sand out of his eyes, Felix would try to push the Unversed away before finally slicing them down, in a sloppy motion. His anger and disgust demanded he take action, but he was tired and confused. Eventually tripped over his feet back into the sand, right on his face, that disgust tripled, intensifying his anger, stroking his desperation to move. But all that built up tension, not to mention disgust, made him violently ill. The sensation again kicking off his disgust, anger and panic, making him cry louder and louder. Over and over and over again…

HE’S MAKING FUN OF ME! INSULTING EVERYTHING I’VE EVER GONE THOUGH! MIRRORING MY EMOTIONS LIKE A- my train of thought so thoroughly derailed by the fact that Felix patently cannot do that. He can’t sense my emotions. Helmet’s on, he can’t even see my face. My momentum shattered in an instant.

Pause enough for a feeling so sharp and sudden, to rush through my head knocking everything out of the way to the forefront escaped me in the form of a Vitality Vial and the sick mockery of a laugh.

Oh!!! I know what this is!! I KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!!

It’s so simple!! That stupid idiot!! I might have been giggling it's a weird weird sound, as I approached and from right under his arms, lifted him out of the dirt, “Hello moron! You’re in a feedback loop!” Before casting water on top of his head.

I had these ALL the time in my training!! WE’re on SCHEDULE! 

With Felix stunned, me and a bunch of Unversed took the chance to give him a quick pat down and get rid of all that sand and sick on him. When done he shivered a bit, before I put them back on the ground, right on his feet so he wouldn’t fall over. Xehanort wishes he had this kind of insight!!

“Will one of you idiots fetch me a water bottle!?” And a Scrapper quickly tossed me a bottle, I uncorked it, “Drink! This’ll make your throat feel better. Honest.” Felix unsteadily took the bottle, looked at me before taking a sip. He didn’t cringe or flinch this time. Started drinking even faster after he realized it was just water and it really did help.

His emotions now much calmer, Felix sniffled a bit. The previous torrent now just a noisy shimmer in the background. All fixed. No more runaway emotions that will make him sick for days and nearly die. Fuck you Xehanort, this master thing is easy!

…

No. no no NO NO, I turned away to scream into my hands, I wasN’T SUPPOSED TO FIX THOSE! Those were how I got stronger! Those were how Ventus got stronger! Damned it all, why can’t I do anything right?! My ribs burned, each breath hot lead and glass searing their way to my core.

Soft unsteady footsteps approached, “Vani?” Small hands grab on to mine, “Uh…Are you ok?” I look up to see their dumb face, Felix is beaming another brilliant smile at me, “Thank you; I really needed that!” Before offering me his water bottle, “Want some water?”

Worthless failure, “What maniac would share needed resources?” The part I meant to say stayed in, and the dumb question I thought wriggled out unwanted. Felix looked at me funny, he wasn't hurt by the question, just confused. “Fine.” I snatched it back and took a drink. Bleh. Today was a failure. I looked around and sat on a big rock. Today sucked.

Removing my helmet, I press my hands hard against my eyes. My brain feels like it’s swimming in swamp scum and static. Felix touches my shoulder, it hurts like he stuck his hand into a raw wound, but it’s not. Just an echo of the Unversed. 

Forcing it out of my gritted teeth, “Talk about something. Anything.” Pressing even harder, “Be distracting.”

Felix just kinda stood nearby, rolling on heels a bit before blurting out, “Sand’s the worst.”

Who just starts a conversation like that?! With an exhausted sigh, “Why is it the worst?”

In a weird move he sits down, digs a hand into the sand, and picks up a handful. Face twisting amusingly. “My home…pretended to be a beach. I’ve always wanted to know what the sand actually felt like.” He drizzles it through his fingers. “It’s… rough. And I don’t know why I really hate rough. Maybe it’s cause at home I never felt it. Even in the twilight comp, I know it existed in some form but I never felt it. It didn’t exist for me ‘cause it never should have. I wasn’t supposed to ever know. Or ever know that I didn't know.”

His hands hold the sand. His empty stare, and silent tears. I should love it. Crave it.

…

I don’t.

I just don’t. 

If Ventus had this despair, it would be heaven. Nothing was better than driving those lights to dissolve into screaming when their little speeches failed. Their words about friendship and kindness and mercy all just lies. When it comes from Felix… It seems…petty. Pathetic. Stupid. He’s showing how much of an It he is, really, crying over sand? Because it didn’t feel like what he wanted it to feel? What is the world supposed to bend over backwards for his little pity party?

“…I’m sorry.” Trying to rub his eyes of tears, voice all watery, “I’m not being very good at this distracting thing…”

…Because it was an unpleasant that didn’t exist in his world. One of the few New’s he’s encountered that he didn’t like. Unlike me. And unlike those lights, even after all this time he’s trying to live by those stupid morals. Even to worthless fucking Unversed.

…

Stupid dumbass got sand in his eyes again.

I take those hands, and carefully part them to let all the sand fall out, a Hareraiser on my shoulder using an ear as a cloth for his face, “Look. This is desert sand. It’s all dry.” Cleaning his hands on his stupid red suit, eyes now all sand free, “You said your place was an island? Beach sand is different-”

Felix lurched up, nearly headbutting me, “REALLY?!” Hopping to his feet, catching the Hareraiser as it fell off, clutching my hand tight enough to make it feel numb, “Is it really really different? Is it? Does it feel nicer?” 

Flinching from being flash banged by reignited hope again, “Yeah yeah, sure??” Still reeling, “I’ll take you to a beach someday-”

Felix made some kind of unholy squeal, and wrapped his arms around me, “Thank you Vanitas! Thank you, thank you!” Buzzing with renewed energy. Or stored energy? Was he holding back all day- He’d felt like shit and didn’t want to kill things. My things. He is squeezing me and the Hareraiser so I’m feeling more crushed then hugged-

Belatedly, “...Are you hugging me?”

“Uh-huh!” Nodding and smiling with his stupid teeth showing.

Peeling his little arms off me, “If Xehanort sees that we’re dead. Actually it’ll probably just be you who dies. A slow miserable death, a slow miserable public death in front of us to keep us in line, or a wildly horrible death in front of the lights to scar them forever. I’ll just be tortured for a week.”

“Then let’s not tell him or do it in the library!” Giggling with the dumb little arms behind the head thing.

A horrible creeping suspicion, “Let’s go back to the cave.” We walked for a while as I checked my suspicions, and then pushed him, “Beat a Flood there and I might consider taking you to a new world tomorrow.” Felix laughed and started racing a few Flood there. Pausing every now and again to look back at me. Idiot. You’re going to lose the race.

But my dread was correct. His stupid heart, that stupid gray heart, near its two hideous holes has visible chunks of darkness building in it. That should be a success EXCEPT that the darkness made all the Light Shine BRIGHTER. You have to search behind the light for that darkness, the light practically blots it out! It’s still a disgusting unnatural grey, but now with a few bright cancerous growths. 

What kind of miserable failure am I that adding darkness made the light stronger?

I agonized about it all the way to the cave.

SERIOUSLY HOW DID I, A HEART OF PURE DARKNESS, EVEN ACCOMPLISH THAT? AHHHHHGH. At some point removing my helmet to dig my hands into my scalp. My return to the world only came because I bumped right into a waiting Felix, who had under each of his arms the Flood he was racing. No clue who won.

“Hey Vanitas, would it be ok to start like maybe cleaning out this front hall?” He said while kicking over a weird metal box in the path.

Maybe he still is a doll. After all no sane sentient creature would ever, ever want to do that. “Are you…volunteering for work?” 

“Yep!” What is wrong with this thing?! “You seem bothered by it and I want to help you more! I’m all coordinated now so I can do it!” Punching the air a bit. I felt miserable, and I might have shown that on my face given how Felix said, “What’s wrong master?”

“I'm a fuckup. Nothing new.”

“No you're not.” Obstinately glaring at me, “What would make you even think that?”

I don’t know. “I died and am here. That means, in no uncertain terms, I am a failure.”

“Then that means Xehanort’s failed six more times than you have.” Dragging some large machine with a spinning device in it, “Frankly you should also count everyone here as also a point of failure for Xehanort ‘cause it seems everything was his plan.”

“You’re going to get us killed. Shut up.”

But it did make me feel kinda better. Stupid brat… You’re not supposed to do that.

…

Wait a second, that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing!! “I take it back; I’m going to grab us dinner and then you tell me more about how Xehanort sucks.” 

It was hours later, after dinner, after watching Felix move more machines and ash than I thought could even fit into the cave, after he fell asleep on top of one that it hit me.

I’ve made a Warrior of Light.

And warriors of light… have been kicking our collective asses for ages! This is GREAT NEWS! If I can just get Felix to fight them back it’ll-

Backfire horribly. Vanitas you’re just an idiot. What would ever make him fight them back and not just join them? The second you teach him about corridors he’ll run away.

Pessimistic ninny. He’ll probably stay just for me. Because that’s the kind of stupid smiley schlub that he is. If he didn’t like me, he would have already left to Vexen’s at minimum and Xehanort would gladly clear that! Did you miss that memo about being a warrior of light!? Those dipshits don’t ditch their friends!

Do you really want to be his friend?

…

Ventus beat me. Felix said what gave him power plainly, and there’s only so many similar variables that keep making these warriors of light strong. I don’t need Felix; I can just use him and his power and he can just use me to be his power or whatever. I don’t have to be his friend. He just has to think I'm his.

That’s not how friends work-

How the fuck would I know how friends work? 

When it comes to training him I don't have to match Xehanort in madness, probably don’t have to match Ventus in niceness either! Don’t have to match anyone else except myself!

tHAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. Grumbling as my head feels like it's being split, I look out through that stupid barrier. Felix on the other side, on a box, snoring weird cause he ragdolled and landed funny. Dolt. The trash Guildwinder carefully stabs him with its poker to be more aspirating. Kinda.

That’s it. To hell with this cave. I’m not coming back to it till the vacation’s over.

Chapter Text

-Day 87-

Does today count as the first or second day of Vacation? Hmm… “Felix!” 

The Apprentice jolts from his position on the metal box, hitting the floor, before yawning and stretching like a cat, “Good morning, What’s up?”

“Is today the first or second day of vacation?”

Scratching under his chin, “Well we didn’t leave or do anything really different yesterday.”

“Today is the first then.”

“Do you think we’ll ever have a routine again?” Felix asked while bending his back again to try and get the crick out, “Feels like it’s been awhile since our last one.”

“A really short one maybe. Sora and his lackeys will get out of Arendelle eventually.” I punched him and there was an audible pop.

“Ack! Thanks!” rubbing the spot, “Do you think Larxene will get them?”

“Hell no. First of all, she's not supposed to fight them, and even if she did, she’d lose. Horribly.”

“Whoa, really? What makes you so sure?”

“Nothing, I just really hate her.” I’d never admit it, but with Ventus being in that cat boy’s heart, it will probably take master himself to put him down. I toss my coat over Felix and grab him under my arm, “That and she’s already lost to him before. Oh yeah and when works over I'm taking you to another world.”

He wriggled excitedly, “To the beach?!”

“Hell no. But it’ll get you ready for it.”

“Horray!” Walking into the corridor to meet a very tired Saix, who handed us our missions.

I maybe got about five feet into this ‘Twilight Town’ when a new corridor opened up, and Saix poked his head out, “Vanitas please return; stop Felix he’s… I don't know, lost his mind? He’s destroying the kitchen and making a mess.” 

“I’ve been gone for five minutes, what happened?”

“I don't know Demyx was talking about how he saw a bug in the kitch-”

“Say no more.” Walking through the corridor and yep, Felix was in the middle of destroying the microwave. 

“NO! MORE!! BUGS!!!” Kicking the ever-loving shit out of that microwave, Demyx cowering in the corner. Felix sharply turned to me and Saix, “Please hold this fine gentleman!” Before delicately, dare I say daintily put in my hand a small brown spider. Muttering under his breath, “No more.” As he dragged the remains of the appliance outside.

The rest of us? Why, we stood in confused solidarity for a minute. Looking down at the spider in my hand, “I don’t think he knows what a bug is”

“Obviously not!!” Demyx shrieks, “I’m not having that conversation with him!!”

“You’d screw him up even harder! Leave it to me; I'll get around to it.” Putting the spider on Saix’s shoulder, “But right now I got a job to do.”

The moment the spider touched him, Saix, ever plain faced, released an intense wall of fear. Huh. Wasn’t expecting that. Even as I walked away, he appeared unmoved, but inside was dying a little. 

After enjoying that for a moment I returned to my mission.

The job was really simple. Peek into the secret basement and see if anyone’s been using it. Considering there's some kind of fat kid at the computer I'm going with a firm, “Yeah.”

If there hadn’t been I was supposed to plug in this U-S-B stick. I give it to a Flood, who's going to stake the place out, while I clock out. When the fat kid’s gone, that Flood will finish the job.

That was an impossibly short mission. I thought only Felix was supposed to be getting those? Not trying to look a gift horse in the mouth, I leave. Wonder if Felix has finished his job yet…

Saix again looked plain faced, inside he was… jealous? He’s staring at Felix who's using the power of demon eyed animal slavery to finish up cleaning the break room’s micro kitchen. What part of this induces jealousy? 

The area has never looked cleaner. Gleaming as every nook and cranny was given a good clean and polish. Demon eyes must give a leg up on looking for filth, I thought this room had looked spotless until today.

“I told him he was done a while ago but he continued. It's your problem now.” Saix walks away.

“I'm almost done~!” Felix cheerily said, currently on top of the fridge, “It’s dusty up here.” Sneezing.

I take the time to think, leaning up against a wall. Loyalty. How best to gain the loyalty of a light? I might have it now, but I'm not risking that. As a self-admitted ass I'm going to fuck it up by just being me and slowly erode it. How Felix puts up with my rancid personality is already beyond statistical improbability. How to avoid that inevitably…?

Felix hops off the fridge, “All done!” he coughs, “Ah, so dusty!”

God damn it, I have to pretend to be better. “Get something to drink already, gross.” Ventus has a never-ending pile of memories of Aqua telling him to drink more water. Is that a ‘friendly’ thing or a health conscientious thing? Both are good, right?

Opening the fridge Felix looks around, is confused, and pulls a random carton out of the fridge. The same rigamarole for a cup. I want to shout and get a move on but rushing him always gives me shitty results. If I just wait and let him do whatever it always winds up faster. Patience then. Ventus never had much of any, so I can easily beat him on this virtue. Ha. Take that asshat I'm better than you…

Felix pours it like a teapot and spills juice all over. Don’t yell Vanitas. Just unleash the Red Hot, and talk more like Ventus’s stupid dead master, his students were all loyal to him, “We like to keep the juice in the cup you dipshit.” Nailed it.

“I’ll get it next time!” Felix cleans the mess and takes some sips, before offering, “Want some too?”

That's a good sign, right? Lights do this sharing thing. We finish the cup before finally heading out. 

“Seriously? There’s nothing more you can tell me about these things?” Holding on to the weird crown dog from months ago. We’re in the middle of the desert, and now it’s an hour later, what happened? We just started talking…

“They’re labeled as buddies; they're supposed to be like decorative accessories but obviously I can use them for more than that. The dalmatians are also labeled like that, but they weren't originally as far as I know. JJ must have just kinda… put them somewhere?”

Every time he mentions ‘JJ’ without fail he cycles through a breakdown of emotions. “...How’d we get on this topic?”

“Uh… I dunno.” Felix paused for a bit before, “Oh! It started with the Flood in my pocket and I wanted to ask you about something, but then got wildly distracted.” Felix then got quiet, nervous, “Hey, Vanitas. Sometimes I get worried when you’re on missions-”

“You think I'm weak?” Vanitas! No! Stop jumping to conclusions.

“Not at all! Just …dumb paranoia really.” See? He’s not mocking you. He’s just looking at the floor all embarrassed now, “Could you do just a little something for me? To make me feel not so nervous?”

“No.” Stop that! No more knee jerk reactions!! “But I'll hear you out.” Exhausting. How do they do this all day?

“Uh, so you know how I have Flood in my pockets? I know you can tell where I am ‘cause of them. So, I want to give you one of my buddies; so I can do the same!”

“Hell no.” It’s not like I actively gave him a Flood, let alone one for tracking him. The tracking is a consequence of him putting like, 12 in each of his pockets. “None of your rats are even remotely tough enough to survive one of my missions. Plus, actively telling me you're going to bu- er track me? Creepy.”

“What about crow buddy? He’s the strongest for sure!”

“Not even going to deny the allegations?”

“Can he at least fly around and follow you? When you leave for a mission only?” Holding his hands together and giving me this weird look, “Pleaaaase?”

“No, that's stupid.” WAIT learning opportunity here, “Unless he can be stealthy and I don’t notice him.”

“Oh, crow buddie’s great at stealth! Why, he’s standing on your shoulder and you haven't even noticed!” WHAT- Sacking my hand right into this solid bird who flies off.

“I thought it was a Flood!” It’s about as heavy as one, must be all that hair… Do crows normally have hair? Gross. “No.” But before Felix could get disappointed, “Now send them home or put them away, so we can head to a different world.”

A shrill squeak, and the buddies all started running or flying off into the distance, as Felix started jumping around, “Where we going?! What are we gonna do there??” Before his excited words dissolved into nonsensical happy noises. I'm just glad the ugly dog things are gone. 

The worlds are many, and I've put a lot of thought into the first to show him. No worlds that cause transformations. No worlds in Xehanort’s immediate concern. There is only one really obvious choice to me.

Looking around briefly, just to be sure no one was around to hear, “I’m going to take you to a world I feel…very safe in. I can't be sure it is anymore, but in the past Xehanort couldn’t reach me here.”

“Whoa! Super exclusive world!!” Felix stage whispered. Bouncing on his heels, “Ready when you are boss!”

Ha. ‘Boss’. I toss my coat on him, blocking his face, and open the corridor, “Then let’s go.”

Part of the reason I blocked his vision was so that he couldn't see the many Hareraisers of nervousness. I haven't been to this world in a decade. The few times I visited in the past the town was nearly deserted, but never actually empty.

The corridor opens in where I remember the woods to be, and thankfully they’re still here. Calm and still, it’s a gloomy rainy night, with the glow of the city visible just beyond the trees. Completely unlike the graveyard. Perfect.

With a flick of my wrist, I take my coat back and Felix gets his first look.

A small gasp. He stands under a tree, looking up into the dark sky. Small droplets of rain fall. It was clearly his first time experiencing it, a small fear dancing under his awe. His hand attempting to reach out but shaking from indecision.

I sat myself on a rock not far away but definitely out of the cover of the trees. The sound of the droplets on my helmet…I like it. “Rain never happens at the Graveyard. Cause of that, it’s a dead place.”

“The rain…is why it’s dead?” 

“Water makes plants grow, plants feed animals, who in turn get eaten by us or others. There's a whole cycle to it, a circle of life yatta yatta. Not at the Graveyard, but that is its purpose. It’s a place for things to die and be buried.” So melancholy. Rain makes me weird like that.

Hand now out in the open, Felix flinches at every drop that makes contact. But it’s just surprise. No more disgust. He takes a few steps and a few hit his head, a jolt, but just a jolt. He is getting better after all.

A growing smile, “This is nice.” Good. People who don’t like the rain are freaks. Ventus is a freak. Would grumble, glare at it, before retreating as far inside the castle he could get. Unbelievable idiot hated the rain. 

Felix was splashing in the puddles now, eventually reaching me, “Yeah!! This is a good world!”

“Even with your shoes?” Getting water in my shoes the first time absolutely ruined my day.

“If I don’t think about it, it can’t make me suffer!” That’s it, bottle up those frustrations. No need to destroy his optimism. Yet. 

“Literally not how that works, but you do you.” I start leading them away, “Let’s go to the town proper.”

My hesitancy was warranted.

There are already massive differences at the opening gate. I find myself tensing up, and Felix matching, eyes open wide searching but unsure for what. Surrounding the gate there are strange piles of brightly colored blocks, mostly in crumbled piles, but a few outliers that seemingly float in the air.

Inevitably Felix gets near and pokes one, it’s way squishier than what either of us were expecting and he wrinkles at the texture, “Ouhhh, what are these Master?” Continuing to squish one, “They’re uh… goo- no, uh…. Squashy?”

“Squishy.” I tap one myself. It jiggles all the way through. Kinda satisfying. “Weird blocks. Looks like people made… planes out of them?” Tapping a plane, I expected it to be more solid, but even that one ripples. Planes made of solid goo. This seems like a horrible idea.

For a second Felix feels unsure before lighting up with an epiphany, gasping with excitement, “Do you think they’re gummi blocks? Those are what they use to make spaceships!”

“Oh, like the hero's use.” They seem so…inefficient, “So these aren't planes but space ships? How do they not burn up and die in the lanes between?”

“Dunno all the technicals, but according to the journal gummi blocks are sort of the material that makes the barriers that separates the worlds. They’re powered by….” Looking confused by the words in his own head, “By smiles…?”

“That's the dumbest thing I’ve heard today.”

“Bet you could make an Unversed that could smile away for 50 ships!”

“Smile? Are you out of your mind? Only negative emotions can create Unversed.”

“Well, you said Archravens are sometimes made of pride, can’t that make you smile?”

“Not the kind of pride that’d make an Unversed. Besides, birds don't smile, they have beaks.”

“Oh… Donald must be no help on the ship. What a bummer. Then what about the purple mandrake? Their mouths look like smiles.”

“Purple mandrake? The hell are you talking abou-” THE FLOATING FLORA.

They don’t come around often. I don’t even know what emotions exactly create them. They make me feel really embarrassed whenever I do because instead of screaming sad faces of the Mandrake, they have little hearts, eyes and mouths. They like playing games and are firmly in the ‘Xehanort must never know about them’ category of Unversed.

Shivering at the memory, “Let’s just continue on. The town has… really expanded since last I was here.” Once it was mostly woods and a few weird scattered buildings. Now there's a huge swath of buildings behind a massive retaining wall.

We pass through the door, and Felix is shocked. To the point I look back at him thinking he’s been attacked, but no he’s covered his face to hold his mouth shut, his eyes are wide, looking at every possible thing and shaking.

He is enraptured. In absolute shock. With small steps he tentatively enters the city. Carefully removing his hands, his smile slowly growing but it’s still so small and soft even for him, “Vanitas…is this…Traverse Town?”

“Uhh, Y-Yeah.” How the hell does he know about this place?! “The one and only.”

Tears start pricking at his eyes, but the joy is radiating off him in a buzzing wave, “I'm in the real Traverse Town. I’m … in here. In the real…” The tears start in earnest, holding a wall in reverence, “It's so beautiful.”

Beautiful…? Felix was prone to using hyperbole like that. Its aesthetics are certainly different to any word I can think of, with bright neon and warm lights against the darkness. I could live here. It's nice and dark. 

The words ‘the real’ then sank in.

“The real Traverse Town? What do you mean by that?”

Felix bites his lip, and guilt builds for a moment, before he some to some kind of resolve, “My home world, as well as few others, were duplicates stored in a computer. Traverse Town was one of the others. So, I’ve been in a fake Traverse Town before.” He looks around to the city, looking kinda lost, “It’s… so different. I thought the one at home was huge and pretty but…but it’s incomparable. A joke. Little flat box painted to mimic this.”

Through all his awe, there was the slightest blip of anger, a bit of betrayal… Felix feels slighted. Perhaps he feels a bit cheated by his ‘systems’ version. Or I guess he simply doesn't like being in boxes. 

“Okay. I guess I can see how that’d be overwhelming…”

Felix grabs my hand, “Is it the same as the Keyblade Graveyard?”

No you fucking idio-?! “...In what way?” I’m getting so good at this calm thing.

Nervous, jittery, “That everything we see, everything in the distance, we can actually go there? It’s real too? There’s no limits?”

What sort of hell did he come from? “Anything you see is real. You can touch it. You can go there. Might be a trek but it’s real.” I kept thinking that box thing was supposed to be a metaphor, but every time it seems more and more literal.

“Even the buildings? Is it true that buildings have insides?” Every single time…

“Yeah? They’re just like the base. You’ve been inside the base plenty of times.”

“But we always go in by corridors and almost never the door doors and the door doors don't even look like they connect. They look like there could totally be a little warp there and we’d never notice they’re not in the same physical space…!” Rambling in a building fear and worry with a hefty dose of embarrassment. 

“Felix. Breathe.” He takes a few breaths as I drag him to the front of the accessory shop. Sign lit up bright neon, lights on, the sign flipped to ‘closed,’ “Look you can even see the spaces are connected with the window.” Before opening the door. Hold on, door is locked. Before breaking in- I mean, uhh before lightly knocking on the door with my keyblade which just so happened to unlock it. Excuse me, there’s a keyblade disapproving latch, I punch through the glass window and undo the latch before opening the door.

Dusty. Stale air. No one’s been in here for a while. Whoever was last left in a hurry, the shelves in disarray, jewelry from one corner to the next, the biggest nicest cabinets were emptied and the lesser stuff just left behind. All the drawers were open and mostly ransacked, but in an orderly way where they knew where everything was.

“Odd that no one’s robbed the place.”

“This is a store, right? Where’s the shop keep?” Felix looked around, then noisily read a paper, “Does Cid not live here anymore?” Thinking more, “Did he ever live here…?”

There are a million more buildings than when I visited in the past, seems Felix’s fake was based on a more recent version, “How lively was your Traverse Town?”

“Hm… it was really just Cid and the three ducklings. Pretty average population for a world at home.”

“Not too inaccurate with my experience with the town.” I sat up on the counter, recalling a tale from one of the people who roamed here in the past, “I heard once that this is a world that only appears when it's needed. A place for refugees.” I never believed them.

Felix scrambles on top of the fireplace, “Oh? How did you find this world?”

A shrug, “The first time Xehanort wanted to help me build a resistance to light so he pumped me full of the stuff and told me to fly home. At some point I must have passed out and I woke up here. After a while, I corridored back.”

“You went back?”

Getting off the counter and grabbing Felix as I left out the door, “Duh. I was taken to some weird ghost town. I still needed to get stronger to reach my goals. Couldn’t just stay around here doing nothing.”

“And the second?”

“Xehanort beat me to a pulp. Crawled to a cave to die. Woke up here on a bench, a chicken dumping a potion on my head calling me an asshole.”

It’s endless! It’s endless!

Vanitas says it’s not, but it is!! It’s endless!! With all the buildings to go inside it’s ENDLESS!

We went inside the clocktower and a ‘gizmo shop’, we went to Cid’s store and the Hareraisers stole a bunch of jewelry they decided to wear, we went above the roofs and into dark tunnels filled with water.

There's so much more to the three districts I knew, and there were so many more I didn’t even know existed! Vanitas didn’t seem to expect how big it was, “Did something happen? This is way more lived in then before.” He’d point out all the signs that people were here and then gone. I’m never going to get over the minute details of the real world.

“So does Traverse Town have a day?” While we poked around a random house. It was really cozy and had lots of nice furniture.

“No. It doesn’t have a sun.” Vanitas looked around, “They either had one very hyper dog or like a ton of them. See?” Everything was covered in paw prints and a light layer of hair under all the dust.

“Huh, maybe this is where the 99 dalmatians lived…” A Hareraiser suddenly went ramrod straight, shivering and making its many many bracelets jingle, “What’s up?”

Master looks off to a random direction, “There’s a person here. Wanna spy on them?”

“Sure!” We left the house and Vanitas leapt up to a nearby balcony on the hotel. I followed, he turned to me with a finger to his face, “Shh. There in the next room. Be silent.” He carefully opens the door and walks silently to another door, meeting another waiting Hareraiser. We crack it open and take a look.

 A boy, surrounded by books, reading. He looks so proper! With perfectly fluffy white hair, stiff and flawless posture, and classy elegant clothes including a monocle. A piece of fabric on his shoulder keeps tricking me into thinking a butterfly landed on him. He’s so fancy!!

Vanitas closes the door before the boy notices, “We should leave.”

“Can I meet him? Pleasssse?”

Master holds still, I'm sure he’s about to say no, but then crosses his arms thinking for a moment, before weirdly enough, “Alright, but keep me out of it. You didn’t see me, know me, and you won't tell him about me got it?”

“Uh, sure? So just pretend I got here on my own and you're not here. Got it.” Trying to hold in my excitement I tiptoed out the room, I’m going to just go through the other door and say hello!

I grab the door handle, and a bit unexpectedly it just opens. So unexpectedly I put too much oomph into it and I fall into the room loudly alerting the boy in the room that I exist, “O-oh!” He puts down the book, “Another person?”

“Hello!!” I climbed to my feet, “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone! Sorry for barging in on ya.” Walking up to him and offering my hand, “I'm Felix! Who’re you?”

“Greetings.” He takes my hand and shakes, “My name is Chadley. I-” Suddenly pausing and going very quiet, “I don’t know how I got here.” Before brightening considerably, “Never mind that. I’m happy to meet you, Felix. Ever since I awoke here, I have been entirely alone. Though this city is large, it seems entirely abandoned.”

“Same same! Kinda spooky ain’t it?” Oh, the many possible conversations to have with someone who's been teleported to a world randomly! But I better keep this brief and speedy. For Vanitas. “I see your reading books! Want me to bring you some?”

He tilts his head perfectly to the side in a smooth motion, “That would be most excellent. I’m a researcher by trade.”

“A researcher?! That’s so cool!”

Chadley blinks, before his little smile gets a little realer, “Oh? Most people find it unusual for my age. Or lame because it is for ‘nerds’ as they say.”

“Nerds are cool. How else does anything get done without ‘em?” People can be so rude. “What's not to love about learning?”

Chadley seems to inspect me, focusing through his monocle really hard. “You might make for a good candidate… but if you're offering to bring me books if you see any with the topic of gummi ship’s would be most helpful. While this world is very cozy, it is entirely too isolated.”

“Sure sure! A good world to go to if you figure them out would probably be Radiant Garden! Anyhoo, I’ll be back before you can sayyyyy, Encyclopedia Encarta!” 

I approached the door, opened it, and a Scrapper tossed a stack of books in my arm before turning me right around and shoving me back in the room.

“Radiant garden? Encyclopidi-? Huh?! You actually did!” He tried looking around me, very concerned, “What was that creature at the door?”

“Nothing to worry about!”

“I certainly still will, but thank you for the books anyways.” I set down the books beside him. That feels a bit…half dashed? I wish I could do more but the Scrapper at the door meant I was right…

“Here; take this fellow!” I pull out a buddy, this one looks like a little bat in an organization coat, “So you won’t be all alone anymore!”

Chadley is curious, tilting his head at the buddy and holds out his hands, but seems cautious, “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to rob you of your own company.”

“I’ll be fine. Take ‘em!” I carefully push the little guy until he’s finally in Chadley's hands, “Name them if you like! I’ll see you around!” And I pivot to the door.

“You’re leaving already?” Chadley holds the buddy to his chest. He’s got this.

“Sorry, but my-! THE TIME! See you later Chadley!!” And raced out the door. Maybe giving someone books and pets isn’t the exactly bessssst way to make friends, but hopefully one day we can just hang out! I’m dying to ask him so many questions! Maybe when Xehanort’s gone, Vanitas will let me visit?

‘The lights rely on the connections they make to give them power, it’s what makes them strong.’

That’s what Xehanort told me at least.

Felix will need to make friends to be stronger. That’s what he even said before, so that must be how they work, right? Ventus galivanted across the cosmos making fast friends everywhere, it makes sense for power, and unless he’s a liar then the same must be true of Felix.

But maybe that was a horrible mistake. For the rest of the day, as we explored tunnels and shops and houses and vaults there was a constant, ‘dO yOu ThInK CHADDDDDDLEY would like this??’ or ‘PLeeeease have a Scccrapper give him this booooook. Pleeeeeease’ and then Felix got a hold of a pack of sticky notes! Chadley hasn’t even moved from that hotel room; I don't think he’s going to find any of the several thousands of notes Felix left scattered across the entire world.

Or at least I thought so. I had left a Flood as a spy, and he did walk down the hall once. Though Chadley seems pretty dead inside, he saw a note and there was a spark of real happiness. 

“Do you think, on like one of those days you can’t take me with you and maybe I don’t have a mission or just if Demyx ever has to watch me again, can you take me here?” Blessedly out of notes, the gimmick shop and Gummi shop ran him dry. Felix just fiddles with his fingers as he does when nervous.

“...Sure.” Demyx couldn’t guard even a simpleton, “You and Chadley can paint the town red.”

“YEAH!” Cheering, jumping up and down, “That sounds like a lot of paint!! Gallons upon gallons!! We’ll have to learn to make paint!!”

More worlds. Definitely more worlds. Might get annoyed out of my skull, but boredom will be the least of my worries.

With no sun, we have to use a combination of the clocks and a Chrono twister to be sure of the time. When it was sleeping time I grabbed a hold of Felix’s hood, “Oi. It’s time to hit the hay.”

“Wait, wait, I know this one!!” Felix paused thinking very hard, before, “Is it sleeping time or time to feed a horse?”

“...Sleeping.” Felix’s hood is filled with water, so I pull it over his head, “To make it more interesting, you get to pick. We can camp here for the night, or we can camp out in the desert.”

“We can see the desert at night?!” Not even an ounce of hesitation after that. Whether it was thanks to coming to a rainy world, or the connection he made while here, Felix has conquered water.

“If that's the part you think is neat, sure.” I scratch the back of my head, “Would have thought the idea of sleeping on a real bed would be more interesting…”

“A REAL bed?” He’s giddy, “I had a fake bed in my world, but I couldn't understand why you’d lie on it when it’s just the same as the floor.” Then he goes pondering, “Ohhh, what if we get a bed and take it to the desert at night?! Two fancy things!”

“Xehanort.”

“Oh right. Hmm…I don't know enough about beds. I know they're nicer, but what if I pick a bad bed and ruin our perception of all beds because I chose poorly? Do you know how to pick a good bed?” Then in a very quiet whisper, “It is written that I am deathly afraid of bed bugs.”

“I’ve never slept in one ether.” Then pause, “The hell are bed bugs?”

Felix started blubbering, “They’re itchy icky bugs that drink all your blood when you sleep and live in beds-! ESPECIALLY ABANDONED ONES!!”

OH FUCK THAT. There is no way this place ain't infested!! “Desert it is. Maybe we will consult someone who knows beds better one day.” LIKE HELL I WILL. Maybe we’ll just break into Ventus stupid castle…that’s also abandoned! Shit, maybe we’ll break into one of their houses. But what if those are also abandoned?! How long till it counts as abandoned?! Damn it Felix you’ve ruined beds as a concept for me!

I nearly corridor us back into the cave, but I did remember at the last second and relocated us toward one of the edges of the world instead.

Out in the cool dark desert, Felix hopped about and pointed at the stars. The view at night really was something, with no light the graveyard didn't hide anything. It’d been ages since I had the chance to enjoy it. For the first time in a while, I actually found myself relaxing. Which was stupid, but Xehanort’s not watching. Probably. Seemingly.

We found a particularly high ridge to spend the night. It was wonderfully cool, there was a light wind not even full of dust, though I had to make a Red-Hot to stop Felix’s teeth from chattering. Shoulder to shoulder we looked at the star-studded sky. 

A very Light warrior activity. Ventus’s memories are full of these moments. These…bonding moments. Just thinking about his makes me wanna hurl. But I need to at least gloss over them.

How to gain the loyalty of a light…The opposite of how you appeal to darkness. A strong powerful front convinces the darkness. But not a light, not truly. They bond by showing weakness. By helping with those weaknesses.

But that would mean I'd have to be…

Vulnerable. 

Everything I've been told not to be. I’ve had all of those dragged and beaten out of me. But I can pretend. I can pretend if it will make Felix stronger.

But how do they wind up in those conversations to start? The night is going well, nothing makes me wanna talk about miserable garbage like that. “Felix. Is…everything okay?” A question Aqua would sometimes ask out of the blue.

Felix goes from calm and relaxed, too stiff as a board. For a moment he’s panicking, before slowly it all released with a breath. What was that all about? He looked at me with an off-kilter smile, “That obvious?” He sighs, pulling his legs close and holding them, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to bring down the mood.”

The mood was brought down? “What’s wrong with you?”

“Dumb things. Dumb old fears.” He holds his legs tighter, hiding his face away, as if he was trying to hide away from me. But he can never hide his shame from me. “I know that’s...just stupid. I know I need to get over them.”

With no pause I retorted; “It’s not like you're all alone on that front.” Then after an agonizing long pause trying to think of the words, “I…am also… capable of having fears.”

Each word of that sentence had to be pried out of my throat. This is hell. 

“They don’t stop you though, or ruin stargazing…” Then he paused, and punched himself in the face before winding up for another. I grab his arm and he squirms, muttering “...I shouldn’t be minimizing your struggles.” Sharp intense guilt.

Don’t fucking punch my things, “And how’s hitting yourself gunna help?” I clock him in the head for it, “Shut up. Just listen to me I-” Stalled out again. Why the hell am I doing this? This is nonsense, dangerous, what are you doing Vanitas? He’s going to-

Felix stares at me, curious and nervous. But not in bad ways. Clearly thinking about what his next actions will be. Nothing malicious. Calm down.

Shifting, gripping his arm tighter, glancing around, why can’t I just spit this out?! It’s like I don't even know but I do know. It’s not even a secret. All logical. So why can’t I just say it? 

Felix slowly started to smile, then bumped his head against me for some reason, “You don’t have to tell me anything alright? You tell me when you're good and ready and not a moment sooner.”

Am I that weak? “But what if I'm never ready?” Muttering. Finally letting go of his wrist.

“Then you're not. It’s all good.” Ventus would have never allowed that. Not really. He’d maybe pay lip service to the idea but he’d keep digging into the subject until he got his answer. Will Felix dig? 

He turns away and points at the sky, “Does the Keyblade Graveyard have any constellations?” 

“Not really. But I think those ones look like an alligator.”

He didn’t. 

After I’m sure he’s asleep, he’s snoring in my stolen coat, he had better be asleep, I whisper softly. More to myself than to him, holding my legs close, “I'm scared it's going to hurt forever.” Trapped in this endless cage of pain. Shitty worthless heart. Shitty worthless fears.

The answer was delayed and slurred. He rolled closer to me, “It won’t… I'll make sure of it…”

I almost want to believe him. “You don’t even know what I'm talking about.”

Felix rolls closer. Definitely asleep. Trying to steal my warmth, the Rotten little punk.

...He doesn't know what I saw in Sora, what’s left of the real me. A prisoner of Ventus's heart, a side note to be forgotten, forever in torment.

Can’t tell him that, he’s not tough enough to take it…

Chapter Text

Xemnas knocks on my door. I know it’s him, he’s the only one who knocks like that. Why? I roll over in my bed. It’s vacation time, why can’t I just be left alone?

I can just barely hear him though the blankets, “Replica Riku, open the door or I shall… remove it.”

I hate the way this prick talks.

Sighing, I get up and open the door, “What do you want?” 

Xemnas emotionlessly shoves two styrofoam boxes into my arms, “Get… dressed appropriately. Then, deliver these meals to Vanitas and his apprentice… Felix.”

“Huh?!” Damn near dropped the stupid box. “What? Why?”

“Continuing efforts to build… report, as we need them to cooperate. Inform them as well… about the upcoming mission.” Then Xemnas turned right around and vanished into a dark portal. Asshole. I put the boxes of food on my desk, and looked at my clothes. Just plain black stuff, but… I don’t wanna get dressed just to come back and get redressed and do all that extra laundry. 

I just put on my coat and shoes. My stomach growled; the food smelt really good. Taking a peek, it wasn’t anything special, just omelets and fruit. Couldn’t I have had breakfast first? Looking at the clock... Holy smokes. Is the sun even up yet?

Taking the dumbass boxes, I headed out. The sun wasn’t up. Not even peeking yet. Why am I doing this so early?

And how the hell am I supposed to find them? I hailed a passing Dusk, “Hey do you know where Vanitas and his bitch are?” The dusk paused, but then shook its head no, but then pointed to the wall. What?

It wiggled over to the wall it had pointed at and lifted a panel, inside the wall one of those Unwhatevers was there, a small blue thing.

“Uh, blue guy. Where’s your boss? Vanitas? I have something to give to him.”

It hissed. Then scuttled away. Just great. This day sucks.

“Bark.” 

Huh? Looking around the hall. Who said ‘bark’? I feel my coat getting pulled on, and I look down.

A tiny…dog man was staring at me. Big big creepy eyes. Blond poofy spikey hair, a weird shirt with a zigzag, standing on its hind feet- what the hell am I looking at? “What the…? What do you want?!” Flustered, I mean what is this thing?

“Bark. Follow me.” Tap tap tap on its pawed feet to the door. Okay. Weird as hell, but I’ve got no other leads and if this thing fails, I can kill it. He took me as far as the edge of the base before pointing, saying in his stupidly deep voice, “Over there. On that ridge you’ll find the Gentlemen you are looking for.”

Of course they're out in the sticks. I make a portal and head on out.

Even with direction, it took me a bit to find them. By this point the sun has started to threaten to come over the horizon, but it is still really dark.

Eventually I did find them. The two Sorta’s are on a tall stupid rock, snoring away in a pile. The smaller burritoed in the coat, and the Vanitas, sitting up against the wall holding the other Sora. That's gay. Why are all the Sora’s weird?

Rocks crumble behind me and I take a glance. Nothing? Looking back in less than a blink I found my vision filled with glass and my feet dangling in the air. Unable to breathe. Vanitas had silently charged and held me by the neck, damn cheap-shotting bitch. Before I could say anything, the freak hissed “Why are you here?”

Wheezing, might pass out if he doesn't let go. “Delivering.”

Vanitas drops me, “Delivering what?” 

In between gasps of air, I manage to squeeze out, “Food. Xemnas’s orders.”

“I can't have breakfast. Doesn’t that idiot already know that?” Vanitas snapped, but handed the box over to the smaller Sora, who had approached but was still half asleep, “You eat this.”

Smaller Sora’s eyes where still close, and he half snored a soft garbled goodbye, before finally opening his eyes to look around. Just look at him, stupid idiot, not paying attention to anything, talking in his sleep, don't you just hate it? He looked at Vanitas, the box, then me. With a groggy smile, “Thank you Rikulpica!” Then titled his head, “Have you eaten yet?” A yawn, “You can have the food Vanitas can’t eat-”

“No he can't.”

“You can have my food that I’m not going to eat because I'm going to eat Vanitas’s food that he has given me.” Offering the other container. That's obviously a trap, you know that right?

“...Fine.” Vanitas grumbles and leaps to a different high up rock. The other Sora continues to offer me the box. But wait, I brought the food. It's can't be a trap.

Whatever. Pair of freaks. I take it and start to dig in. It is nicer then the mess hall stuff by a huge margin, where'd Xemnas get this?

The replica Sora looks at the food, “What is this?”

“Omelet." Said between wolfing down the omelet, "What, so stupid you can’t recognize it?”

“Yup!” He takes a bite, and seems mystified by the taste. Ugh, the sooner I'm done the sooner I can leave. But not fast enough before he asks another question, “So what are you doing on your vacation?”

“Sleeping.” Looking away to the cliff edge. I’ve been up to way more than that but he’s a Sora. He’d get all high and mighty about me stealing stuff around the worlds.

“Ahhh, it must be nice! Vanitas has been taking me to new worlds after his missions.”

“Sounds like you’ve been getting it easy.” Not hiding the bite in my voice. I’d prefer to sit in silence with visor head up on the rock. Wait, did he ditch me with this loser because he knew he’d annoy me? That mother fu- 

“It’s been fun, but it is mostly for learning. Yesterday I learnt a lot about how to tell if a house had been abandoned, how long it had been since someone was there, who might have been there, whether it was ransacked or not ransacked and how to ransack it if it hadn’t. Lots of stuff!”

What?! “You guys were robbing houses?”

“Don’t want to be wasteful.” Smiling away, “I wonder what we’re doing today?”

“Xemnas never does anything fun. The closest thing is letting me do my own self learning cause then at least he leaves me alone. Jerk will take any opportunity he can to stab me with his weird lightsabers or pull on my ear.” Shit, why'd I tell him that? He's obviously lulled you into false security is why. Soras are always playing that trick on people.

“Hmm, I can't promise Vanitas won’t punch you, but maybe I can convince him to take you with us someday?” Obvious lie. Ignore.

He tried to touch my shoulder but I slapped his hand away, “And what? Get punished like you guys? Piss off.” I stood up, “I'm out of here.”

With a double hand wave, “Bye bye Rikuplica! Sleep goooood!” What is he four?

-Day 88 - Vacation Day 2

“I don't care what you say Felix, I don’t trust him.” The fact that I’m even letting him ‘make friends’ with that little silver rat in Traverse Town means I've officially lost my mind. But if I have, Ventus lost his mind waaaaay farther back. I know you can make power from enemies, Terra certainly had, and I guess getting power from enemies just makes more sense to me. Felix just shrugged it off, and skipped over to Saix’s desk. I roll my eyes, “What’s the mission?”

“Before we even start, I want to tell you now that I want to give both you and Felix longer than normal missions today.”

“What for?”

“Felix, while I too have noticed his inability to count, can actually do math competently. Today I want to get to the bottom of this budget. I know someone is stealing munny, but I don't know where or how. Fresh eyes and no assumptions are what I need.”

“Yeah, don’t care. What’s my mission?” This had better not be a complete pain in the ass.

“You have been to Radiant Garden before, correct?”

One of the scars on my shoulder started to ache. One of many ‘gifts’ I received from Aqua. Thank God I killed her. “Yeah. What about it? I thought we weren't supposed to go there.”

“Normally I wouldn't send someone out there given all the lights stationed there but there’s news that is too complicated for the dusks to report on competently.” 

Saix hits a button on his desk and a screen appears, upon it is a strange Heartless with four large wings looking almost like a lightbulb appeared.

Felix gasps with a smile, “An Angel Star!”

“Correct.” Saix raised a brow, “Given these heartless haven’t been seen for years I would not have expected you to know of them.”

“I knew several by name!”

Saix wasn’t very good at hiding his confusion that time, “...In any case the fact they haven't been manifesting but one is suddenly stalking the skies means it’s at least some kind of interest to the Organization.”

I sigh, “Okay. I take it, I'm not killing this thing?”

“Not yet, study it. See where it came from, what the light’s response to it is because they haven’t dealt with it in over three days which is highly unusual for them.” Saix rubs his chin, “Perhaps their defenses are down. Check on that as well.”

Rolling my eyes, “Interrogate a Heartless, probe some defenses, yeesh certainly giving me the fancy work this time.”

“Normally this would be Xigbar’s duty but he vanished when vaccination started.”

Felix smiled, “You got this! Angel Stars are really friendly.” His face suddenly turned dead serious, “Just don’t touch their wings or they will send missiles your way.”

I make a corridor, “Yeah yeah, don’t give Saix a hernia.” And leave.

The Radiant Garden’s security wasn't off. I could tell as I dangled from an overhang and it burnt the bottoms of my shoes. Normally this world is crawling with people, but today the streets are empty. The citizens are all crammed into buildings nervous and afraid.

Wasn’t hard to see why. Above the town, glowing brightly and occasionally sputtering into pitch black darkness before turning back to normal, was the Angel Star. 

Staying to the alleys, using corridors as needed, the lights probably know I'm here given their little death pillars but those are easy enough to avoid…

Now…How to get close to it…?

Double check, triple check, yep, it’s him. “It’s Xigbar.”

“That son of a bi-!” Saix cut himself off, before grabbing his desk tightly, “How? How is he doing it?” The desk started to crack under the pressure.

Yikes, Saix's mad today!

“He’s lying, here, here, and here on every report. The others are sometimes obviously just doing the math a bit wrong, and I'm positive Larxene and young Xehanort are just rounding and giving an approximation but Xigbar is just flat out giving bad numbers.”

“What would he even use it on?!”

“Elixirs? I have no idea.” Wait he uses guns, “Bullets?”

“By the pale moon’s- I will confront him. Compile all of the evidence you can find and leave the report on my desk.” Saix gets up, and he summons some kind of strange weapon. Uh… is Xigbar going to be okay…? 

Eh, he seems tough; he’ll be fine!

One second the Heartless is in the sky hovering above, the next dive bombing straight for me. Startling but easy enough to dodge, unexpectedly it pulled back at the last second. There was a rush of wind from the six wings but not one meant to knock me down. Just from being within its presence the air is electrified and tastes of ozone.

It stared impassively. Instincts screaming at me to strike but- I was in a bit of shock and awe, the Heartless was hitting me with emotions, like it was a normal person. Even weirder, the emotion it was relaying was RELIEF. This Heartless was relieved to see me.

Flicking its wing, a small box slides near my feet. Erupting into static, revealing it to be a radio, a voice floats from it. “I know. You know. My friend.” Not an inch wavered across the creature, “At least. You know. My Friend’s Friend.”

The hell? Is that supposed to be a riddle or something? 

“What makes you think that?” Growling but lessening my stance.

“The crow. On your Shoulder.” A wing seems to point. “Ava’s. She stole it. Like everything she had.”

That godforsaken BIRD! It dodged as I tried to grab it, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN THERE?!

I don’t know what happened to Xigbar. But he and Saix look very cross with all that blood on them. Xigbar sat on a couch grumbling the whole time, Saix left to clean up, and when he got back, we sat doing more paperwork in otherwise almost complete silence. 

After awhile an Archraven flies up to us, just as me and Saix finish up the documents. A piece of paper in its beak, that it shoves in Saix’s face.

He looks a bit miffed but takes it, reads it, and then says, “Felix stay here. Vanitas needs…a bit of backup.”

“Is he in trouble?” Standing up. Oops. I sat back down.

“No no, more he…needs my perspective on something. Nothing for you to worry about.”

Make’s sense to me. Saix is really smart. “Sounds good! Want me to just keep going on this?” Pointing at my ‘101 and More Times Xigbar Stole Money’ report.

“Please do.” Leaving his seat and out a corridor very quickly. Hmm. 

Muttering to myself, “What is it about the phrase, ‘Don’t worry about it’ that just seems to make ya worry anyways…?” I should ask Vanitas when he gets back.

Xigbar responded, “Cause it's always a big empty lie!” I frown at him and he starts laughing at me.

“Just like that report, here let me see it.” Xigbar adds, extending his hand.

Floating in the cage, hovering unnaturally still, daresay serene was the Angel Star.

Vexen runs about his lab, “What even is it? Looks like a Heartless, half my equipment says Heartless, but-!” Shaking his arm at it.

“Sure isn’t acting like one.” I finished for him. Vexen makes a weird grunt of agreement and grabs a few more things before a corridor opens up and Saix finally arrives. 

“You managed to capture the creature?” 

“I am not captured. I am right. Where. I want to be.” It replies. I'm tempted to call it a she from its chosen voice. Dull, fuzzy, almost drunk sounding. The radio is currently balancing precariously on its weird purple neck ring.

Saix raises a brow, “In a cage?”

“Right by the person,” it turns to glare at Vexen for a moment, before returning “People. Who have answers. I need.”

Not one to waste time, Saix started the interrogation, “What could you possibly want from the Organization?”

“Organization - Identity not found.” It ruffles its wings, “He. Knows who. I want.” Probably me.

The questions and answers started shooting out at a rapid pace.

“Where did you come from?”

“The datascape.”

“How did you escape?”

“The console at Radiant Gardens. Has a device.”

“Are there more of you?”

“Yes. No. Selphie, Selphie, and Kairi convinced the others. To stay behind. I am the only one out.”

“What is your purpose?”

“To be a data repetition. Of an Angel Star.”

“I mean your purpose in leaving the datascape.”

“To look. For someone. He knows.”

“Will you interfere with the organization?”

“Unlikely.”

“Will you and your cohorts assist the organization?”

“Unlikely.”

“Even if we help you find this person?”

“Even less likely.”

Saix glared, “Vanitas, not that I actually have to ask, but are you going to give this…creature any actual information about the Organization?”

“Fuck no, why would I do that?”

Sighing, then turning around, “It’s all yours. Do as you will. Kill it if you can't get anything helpful from it.” Saix then left out a new corridor.  

Just great! I wanted him here so I could pick his brains for better questions. Now it’s just me and Vexen and Vexen’s going to lose interest any second now.

“So you're after Felix yeah?” Grumbling, might as well play along.

“Felix- identity not found.” It has no face to emote from, but its ‘heart’ does send true confusion. 

“He’s the one with the bird now.” An idea crossed my mind. I take control of the Archraven by Felix and ask in its choppy voice, “Did you know any Angel stars? Like uh…” Is there anything that stands out about it? The only thing I can see is, “One with a scar on its lower left eye?”

“Oh yeah!” Nodding easily, “That’s Terrifying!”

“What is?” It’s not that scary.

“The Angel Star; that’s their name. Terrifying.” He smiles brightly, “It’s so cute! They’re so bad at picking names.”

Sighing I return to myself and tell the stupid thing in a cage, “Felix says your name is ‘Terrifying’.”

“Ah. Felix must be his new designation. Yes. I wish to speak. With Felix.”

Nope. Don’t trust this.

Before I could say anything, Vexen spoke up, “I will go fetch him.” Leaving out of a corridor.

Damnation!

Against my will, Felix is brought in. With a bullet hole in his jacket. He lights up immediately when he sees the Heartless, “Terrifying!!” Shouting their name, running up, and doing a strange dance like motion. The Heartless mimics the dance and shares at least a part of his jubilation. Then Felix started circling the cage like a mut trying to find an opening it can wiggle into. 

Amusingly the Heartless tracks him, staring right at him as he runs and runs, seemingly immune to being dizzy, “Hello. Dear. Felix.”

He gasps and stops, “You know my new name?”

It needs a full rotation to slow down and stare at him again, “That fellow. Told me.”

“That’s Vanitas! He’s my new master!”

“Congratulations. Shall I tell the others; ‘On my way back’?”

I step in, “No. You will tell no one about this world, or about anything you saw here. Tell anyone and I'll crush Felix’s head in.” Dropping my elbow on his head and using him as a stand. Threatening Felix made more sense in my head then threatening the Heartless directly.

“The threat was unnecessary.” Amusement that plummeted right into deep severity. “I have almost no respect for anyone else. I am here to deliver. Unsatisfying news to you Felix. And a warning.”

Felix blinks, and concern bleeds freely, “A warning? What happened?”

“Do not ever return. Jiminy's Journal has. Replaced you. Replaced Selphie. Perhaps he has even replaced himself. In the coming days we expect to be removed. All down to singular representory agents again.” A string of unrelenting gut punches for Felix. The Heartless has come to begrudgingly accept all of this, but Felix is in intense panic and denial, breathing sharp and grabbing on the bars of the cage.

Spiraling rapidly as dread pours out of Felix, he shouts “That’s… that’s not- that’s not fair! He can’t do that to you!” The panic and dread bloom into red hot anger as his knuckles go white from the grip. "He can't!!"

“He can. He will. He might already have.” It fans its wings, “Have no fear. The others shall be killed quick. Those born. And to be born. Are without eyes, none to open, none to see. Actors on a stage. Waiting for a play. To never start. Endless, if empty, summer joys. Content Forever.”

“You’ve been hanging out with the Cheshire Cat again!” Felix fell to his knees, already a mess of tears.

“Guilty I suppose. To be obtuse, what a wish I'd rather like to make.”

It is just hitting me that Felix has in fact, not been hallucinating. He’s not making glitchy connections in his brain from scrambled memoires, but has in fact made friends with Heartless. This is just one of them. Before I can think, “How long have you two known each other?”

The Angel holds a wing to its face, “Hard to place correctly. In literal time. It would have seemed brief. As a portion of our lives. Especially my own. As I have not been truly awake. As long. It would be most of our formative youth.”

The look on my face must have prompted Vexen to speak, “Their childhood friends of indeterminate- uh unknown time.”

Neither answered my question. Is the phrase ‘I don’t know’ so hard?

This is just one of the many Heartless he grew up with in a computer cold airless box, that apparently has a dictator who can just…replace them. On a whim. I do NOT want Vexen to be here for this, what the hell is he going to tell Xehanort?!

But Felix's panic starts spilling out of his mouth again, “Wait, wait! We can get you guys out of there can’t we?! You’re here, you said others were on the Garden system? Maybe we can convince Vexen to let you guys come here!! You shouldn’t have to be deleted!”

“The system does not require any of us to be alive. In fact, it is a hindrance. He is right to remove us. As he says time and time and time again.” The angel then looks to the side, “But as our dear Lady Eliminator would say; he can go to hell. I want to live.”

Vexen has a weird look on his face before saying, “I might be convinced to allow them to come on to my computer. Are they viruses? Can they do work?”

“No. We are data beings. All the same as the others. There is only one virus. And he was dead. And restored. And must stay in the journal.” The angel seems to over act, bouncing and flapping its wings to show its anger, “We have done nothing BUT work since we had arrived at the Garden. They mock us. And insult us. Yet find our work more than satisfactory.”

I can't help but snap at Vexen, “And why the hell would you do that? Ain't Xehanort going to kill us if he finds out?”

Vexen looks around, “Well I don't see Saix or anyone else who would say anything.”

“Wait, really? You wouldn’t?” I can feel myself let go of some tension. What the heck...? I believe him?

“Is it not fascinating?!" Vexen gestures to the angel, "What insights about the nature of hearts can be gleaned from such creatures? Perhaps our initial theories were wrong, but that’s fine, it’s science. Xehanort and his ilk wouldn’t understand.” 

Felix had calmed some, “Thank you Mr. Vexen, you’re very cool.”

“I will hash out a deal with eh, Ms. ‘Terrifying’ later.” Walking away, “For now I suspect you have personal matters to speak of.” Eventually leaving out of the door.

“What the hell does he gain from this…?” Is he going to tell Xehanort? Right now?! No; stop. He just said he wouldn’t and it’d be his head too. I barked at the Heartless, “Get your conversation done with Felix, make it snappy.”

“Selphie wanted. To restore contact with you. But as per Vanitas’s request. This is no longer possible. Should I the chance to speak to her again, would you like me to tell her anything? Provided it fits Vanitas’s parameters.”

Felix surprised me, in his sea of desperate want there is a bitter sadness, “...No. I’m not really…the correct- the right- just no. She wants…who I was. Not me now. Not Felix, if that makes any sense?”

“I see. You’re not Felix to her. I didn’t find you.”

Their conversation didn’t last too long. Felix wasn’t up to it and Terrifying seemed to be an endless well of bad news. They sit wiggling their wings though the bars to give some sad mockery of a hug goodbye. Felix of course hugs back, face burred in its side, his tears slide down its strange glass body and hit the floor.

Felix was feeling like garbage. Swamped with stress. Head down, looking all gloomy. Perfect for traveling around the base unbothered.

But out in the desert I'd rather hear them prattle on then just the sandy winds, “New world time. Any suggestions?”

“Wonderland!!” He Immediately perked up. At the worst possible idea.

“No. We're going to the Enchanted Domain.” 

Didn’t lose an inch of steam, “Ohhh what kind of world is that?”

Chapter Text

-Day 89 - Vacation Day 3

Somehow, I just knew today was going to be a… day. Something about walking into a bright sunny forest that shouldn't be enjoyable, then hearing Felix frustratedly hold back a scream pointing at a tree, “Why?! Why am I constantly accosted by cubular menaces?!”

This place does have naturally occurring cube shaped trees, “We should bring one back, make the base more lively.” Would Xehanort even take it away if he knew how angry it made my apprentice?

“Meanie!!” Felix shouts through giggles, “What are we doing today?”

“I…” don’t have a plan, shit. Quick think of something! “Want to test your transformation abilities today. There’s a town at the foot of a castle, and I want to see how close we can get you before you get noticed.”

“Would I stand out that much?” He says wearing a bright red onesie, made of strange materials, pokey hair, and extremely nonnative cobalt blue eyes.

“Yes.” Pulling up my hood, “I’ll be watching from the woods.”

Green green green! Leaves and trees and grass as far as I can see! Which isn’t far; there's a lot of green green everything. At least there’s a path.

Eventually a lady with a big cart passed by, and maybe Vanitas was right, she looked at me like I was Xehanort riding a unicycle. She wore very plain clothes. Once they were all out of view, I activated Ava’s power and changed into the same clothes, but to fit me.

Vanitas crawled out of a nearby tree, “Well your clothes match but you’ve made a mistake.”

“Oh shoot?” Looking at my outfit, “Uh, what I get wrong? I know there’s no shoes but she didn't have any.” It’s got the right colors and materials…

“Hm…maybe it won't be that much of an issue. I’ll let you think about it as we get closer to town.” Then he spotted something, “Hey… look at that!”

Unconsciously I screeched when I spotted the nearly perfectly cubely shaped rock.

Felix never figured it out, but it all worked out in the end. After slicking his hair down some he blended in pretty good. If he didn’t have his weird heart, I might have lost him in a crowd. 

As we explored the world, it was another where I couldn’t believe it was ten years later. If it really had been dragged into the Realm of Darkness, it must have left it relatively unscathed. Maybe in the desert I could believe old blood stains could linger, but not a rock wall by a river. Ventus had nearly lost his life in a fight with a gaggle of Archravens. Some of the evidence was still here.

Until we reached the city. The odd traveler in the woods wasn’t unusual to see, but the entire city awake and on its feet was something entirely new. Eventually I started walking beside Felix, this was…not that different from any other medieval town world. 

Had they all been asleep when the world had fallen?

Sliding beside him in the mass of people I whisper, “So. Now that I’m sure you blend in well enough, how about we practice stealing?”

“Stealing? Are we that broke?” 

“Broke?”

“Why else would we be stealing? I’ve got plenty of munny.” He then pauses, “Vanitas, how does munny work? Like why can you just take it anywhere?”

Sighing, rolling my eyes, “Some wizard spent the better part of a few lifetimes busting his ass making it work that way. Happy?” Thinking about it harder, it was probably that weird Gilga-something guy. Haven’t thought about him in a few... 

…What was I thinking about?

“Oh, that makes sense.” Felix nodded, “So yeah, didja see something you wanted? I can buy it for you.” Felix got this delightfully sour look on his face, “Why do you work for Xehanort so much if he’s not even paying you any good?” Before blasting me with a burst of smiles, “What if I gave you my munny? Then you wouldn't have to work so hard and long, right?”

It takes everything in me to hold back a laugh that I just pull out of my sleeve as a Vitality Vial, “You think this job was a paid position?”

The smile drops from his face like a rock. “What else would it be?”

Stopping in the busy street, I shake my head before dragging him off to some ally. “The less you know the better.” Grumbling some, “I'm trying to get something to fix me, but more importantly what if you run out of munny? What are you going to do then?”

“Defeat Heartless!” Instantly dropping a fist to his palm.

“What if there are none?”

“Sell excess items! I have too many Fire commands.” As if to demonstrate he loosened his sleeve some, shook his arm a bit, and a few of the commands fell out.

Exasperated, “And then what will you do if you drain all of those resources and nothing’s left?”

Felix stuck out his tongue, twisting on the spot, relenting, “Theive’n…” Before his head bobbed back up, “But if it’s for things we need, and we’re that desperate, it’d probably be just food or medicine right?”

“If that’s what lets you sleep at night.” Stupid lights. At least Felix has the sense to have a limit.

Oh, stealing. It’s not great. I don’t really want to but it’s easy. At least Vanitas didn’t seem to care that I was only stealing very very easily stolen things that people had left out on their window stills.

There are lots of mentions about stealing in my head, but they’re all strange. Not at all detailed. But who’s not giving who details is the bigger mystery. Is Sora not telling Jiminy, or is Jiminy not writing it all down to protect Sora? The only clear one involves Sora’s mom and her opinion on the subject.

We hid away in a big tree, Vanitas seeming relaxed a bit for once, “So whatcha steal this time?”

“Ahh, some kind of pie, some sort of meat, and some sort of fruit.” People put a lot of food on their window sills. 

“You're boring. Gimme a bite.” I offered the meat and he took a big bite. With a few loud chomps, “This day’s been boring.” Aww that sucks. Vanitas isn’t having a good time. “Hey, look over there.” Pointing at something. 

My eyes started to move but I pulled back, “You’re not going to get me a 16th time!” It was probably something that shouldn't be cubed. Yet Was. To haunt me.

He dropped his arm, “So boring.”

Sighing I turned my head, it was a random perfect wooden cube on top of some cart. Vanitas snickers as I can’t help but growl. Stupid bugs.

I took a nibble of the meat and flinched, what the? “Why’s it so... Soo…?” Augh I should know the word; it burns like chemical burn. But I don't think it’s spicy cause the burn doesn't, like, hurt…? “...Sharp?”

“Sharp?” Vanitas perks up, “This aint fish, there's no bones to stab yourself on, what do you mean sharp?” He tilts his head around the meat, like he's looking for something. 

“Uhh…” Let’s see there’s the flavors and their flavor words…. Um…

Vanitas licks his chops, seemingly realizes something and says, “Do you mean ‘salty’?” He lets out a weird snort, “Why am I not surprised.” Since he’s been eating his helmets down, it's a strangely rare opportunity to see his expressions. It's an odd one as he says, “They had some strange priorities with that box you lived in.” His expression is so morose, “Pain before food. Paint before wind. What a joke. I don't even like food, but most people do and yet they still chose not to add it.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just ate more meat. Vanitas is always angered by what they ‘put in the box.’ Weirdly after I was done, my head felt quieter. “Vanitas, do you ever get the mineral warnings? They’re so loud.” It's not like I heard them in my ears but I did cover them anyway. “One finally went quiet.”

His face looked unimpressed and deeply annoyed, oops. He didn't even answer me that time, just stealing some fruit and eating it.

I tried some too, I think I know this one, “Is this one the sour?”

“It is ‘the’ sour, yes. I guess.” Rubbing his forehead. “You know things don’t taste like much to me.”

“It makes my face feel funny. What’s sour exactly?” Why can’t I shut my mouth today? Vanitas obviously doesn’t want to hear it. Besides, the answer is clearly acidic in nature. 

Glaring at me, “My mood.”

 I chuckled; I couldn't help it! But I can help Vanitas with his boredom, setting aside the stolen food, “Hey that valley we saw coming in reminded me of your Unversed making one.”

“Mhmm.” He didn’t look convinced.

“Let’s have a spar there! Mono a mono!” About a second later, I realize that I am careening through the air. Did he just throw me?! Jerk! I roll over in the sky, I can glide all on my own without help!

Today was a… tolerable day. 

Felix might have gotten stronger, I got him to steal things, I beat the shit out of him and he’s not even that mad about it. 

Slippery little snake, I had to summon Archravens to keep him from darting about the trees. But when I did finally catch him… Heh.

Dragging himself out of the crater he’s bitching a bit about something. But not meaningfully. Felix is happy first and foremost. Normally in a spar, it's just short of taking a life for someone to stop. But the lights stop here, quite a few steps before a fight gets real, then even healing up. Being so out of practice, I guess I can live with this for now. Anything better than nothing.

Felix shoved another one of those fruits today near my mouth. Whatever. I take a bite and for once…That’s strange.

Yeah. That’s sour.

“Vanitas mono a mono means man to man! You fought me with BIRDS!” 

“Unversed are a part of me, just like your commands and keyblade are part of you.”

“Ohhh, that’s fancy!” I should fight with the buddies sometimes. Maybe it’ll catch him off guard!

Vanitas is the strongest guy I've ever fought! JJ wouldn't stand a chance, and maybe Data Roxas could leave a dent, but Vanitas has it all; speed, strength, more birds than I could ever hope to count, Everything!

Xehanort must be a beast when he’s not being old.

Vanitas just seems lost in his own world for a bit, I put my hands on my hips waiting for him, but he never seems to wake up. Alright. You do you. I eat a few more of the little purple fruits first and then offer one to Vanitas. Normally he doesn't react when he eats but he jumps a bit this time. Oops must have picked out a bad one.

He seems to have finished whatever thought he was having, “Let's keep fighting.”

With a shrug I cast curaga, “You got it boss!”

Felix is weird. Sometimes he’s faster, sometimes he’s stronger, sometimes he can take a hit, sometimes he finds himself wrapped around the branches of a tree after the lightest push. Sometimes his magic stings from miles away and others he doesn't bother. He always has this weird expression before he changes tactics, like trying to read a very interesting book hovering in the sky.

Doesn’t help him of course.

“What do you think convinces the tree’s to be cubed?” He says as I rescue his sorry self from another high tree, “What advantage is it to be cube?” He usually asks questions between bouts.

“Maybe there is some strange symbiosis with some animals around here.” Why care? It’s some random world, they just do what they want.

Fight, question. Fight question, question. Fight question, question, question…

At some point we were not even fighting anymore, just talking. About…everything and anything. It started with combat, but I’ve been going on a rant about Neverland for 30 minutes now. Felix is lying on his stomach, propped his head up enraptured, just idly kicking his feet. Attention locked. No interruptions. 

Ha. I got what I wanted.

Hahahaa….

I got what I wanted and more…

Hours upon hours later, the moon high as the only light, we finally found ourselves in a bout of silence. My voice is starting to get weak, and Felix’s admiring the new sights and sounds. 

Chirps of small bugs, critters rushing underbrush, the wind ruffling the grass, all unbroken by words. It’s calm. Feel’s…almost safe for once. Almost. At least safe enough to consider sleeping for a bit…

But something must cross Felix’s mind, as he goes from quietly looking up, head propped by his hands, to lurching up, his hands suddenly grabbing his shoulders. 

Under the stars, his feelings seemed to travel down a trail of thoughts that eventually landed him with a small glut of worry. He rolled over to face me whispering softly, “Vanitas… you talk about Ventus, and his memories sometimes like there not your own. Cause they're not, right?”

Where was this coming from? “Well yeah, they were mine but aren't now.” Do we really gotta talk about that pompous prick? The night was so comfortable…

“I ...relate. I have memories that aren't mine either.” Felix  looks lost. Fiddling with a piece of grass. “I don't know what to do about them.”

My obvious question, “Why the hell do you have memories that aren't yours?”

He holds his hands funny, and looks around, in thought. Guilt and fear swirl inside before finally a type of courage breaks though. He sighs, and looks at me, “Can you…keep a secret? From Xehanort specifically?”

“Will it get me killed?”

“No? Why would it get you hurt?” Honest bafflement.

Eh good enough. “Fine then.”

Felix’s nervousness rises again, nearly killing the resolve, but again it charges though, “I…haven't been entirely honest with you regarding my origins. Like from omission. I haven't lied lied about anything.” Embarrassed, a bit scared.

Yeah, no shit you’ve been hiding stuff, who in the organization isn’t?

“I figured.” Somehow a bubble of joy pops into his chest with a giggle. “You're almost rational. Actual nonsense is easy to identify, but there’s…shape to the motives of the people in your past. A consistency nonsense doesn’t have, It's not a perfect copy of anything either.” Now that it’s left my mouth, I’m not even sure if any of that made sense. A long, heavy sigh, “And that Heartless Star Angel thing…in the face of that It’d be unbelievably stupid of me to call you a total liar.”

“It should be. It should be a copy…” Felix said, so…defeated of all things, “I’m… I'm supposed to be a copy. To be a record of someone.” Felix couldn't keep eye contact and looked at the dirt, “But something happened to where all us records were held. Someone needed to fix it. Real people came to me and made me fix it, but something went wrong. I wasn’t supposed to gain a heart. I wasn’t supposed to be able to break my script.” Little drops of tears appeared on the floor, “But I did. I couldn’t help it. I didn't know I did anything wrong trying to help. Kept doing wrong, I knew too much, I couldn't be contained, I…” He was getting all gross and choked up, struggling to talk again.

“Left?” A small nod. A record. Huh. Maybe I should be more confused but I'm just done. Does it really matter? A record. That’s not that much different than the Riku Replica. Whose records? Probably Vexen’s.

It’s not hard to see where Felix’s going with this, “So you have memories of this person? Er, the memories that they have?”

“Some are just that of the record, I know them but… I didn’t live through them I just… the equivalent of hearing them second hand you know? A lot of those just feel…rude? Invasive?” But then he looked up head shaking, “But then I found memories of theirs that I don't know if they were lost or were removed, but I have them. I don't know if he has them though.” A stabbing panic, with an intense aversion building.

“I take it they’re bad.”

“Horrible beyond measure.” Probably just some dumb sad memories of their dog dying or whatever.

I turn around, “I don't have advice. You just gotta learn to live with them.”

A sigh, they were expecting that but it’s accompanied by relief. “Should I give them back?”

“No. If they're bad and you're so sure they were actively removed, he probably got rid of them himself because they sucked. It’d be good revenge if you hate him or something.”

“Not at all! He’s cool.” That dumb smile returned, “Not as cool as you obviously.” Then it suddenly got comically worried, “Have you ever thought about how HORRIFYING paopu fruit are?”

Running away from his problems again. “How horrifying… what is?”

“Paopu fruit!” Sitting up, “They say if you share the star shaped paopu fruit, your destinies will be forever entwined! You will be a part of each other's lives forever!”

What the hell is wrong with him, with a disgusted grunt, “That sounds like the sweetest lovey dovey light filled garbage I've ever heard. What’s so ‘HORRORFYING’ about that?” 

“Ack! You are always talking about light stuff, how is that light stuff?! That’s totally not how light operates! The fruit, they’re so contract-y and permanent, what if you make a mistake with it? Light always at least seems to try to keep you from destroying yours and someone else’s life with a simple mistake. At least a warning! And doesn’t something telling you a forever by doing something simple, that can TOTALLY backfire, I dunno isn’t that more how the dark works?” Felix by this point is spiraling, “What if things change? What if you fall out of love? It only says ‘Apart of’ and-”

I put my hand on top of Felix’s head, “Stop. You're thinking too much about this one dumb trinket.” Damned does it sound familiar though, where had I heard it before? “It’s not like you’ve shared it with someone.”

“I mean I did, but it was from my system.”

“What-!? Felix!!” Grabbing him by the hair and ‘lightly’ shaking him, “No making weird contacts with magical trinket garbage you don’t understand!” No common sense, this idiot! Shaking my head, trying not to yell, hands now crossed with one propped and pinching a brow, “From your system though, I bet it didn’t work. I sure don’t see them around. In any case, don’t believe in it and it won’t have power over you, in a headspace worry kinda way. Easy enough.” I could word that better, but I wanna go to sleep already and end this stupid conversation.

Felix finally settled back into the grass, “You're right. I'm just…overthinking it.”

“As always.”

For a while it’s just the sounds of nature. Then Felix soon falls asleep, snoring just the tiniest bit. The Unversed keep watch.

The night is pleasant enough, but it’s a cold comfort. This can’t last forever. Master will destroy it somehow. Why hasn’t he yet? I’d be a fool to think I’m actually on track, that’s just plainly ignoring the teeth closing in all around us.

Just need to take full advantage while I have the chance, I guess.

Chapter Text

- Day 90 - Vacation Day 4

I woke to sunlight, brushing against my face. Normally, I'd be mad, but I'm instead trying to desperately hold onto the diminishing memories of the dream I just had.

What the hell even are dreams? Why do they always leave when you try to think about them? Why so many owls? Bah. Whatever. Too much thinkin’ in the morning. With my yawn, the last vestiges of the dream are gone.

All the nature confused me for a moment, especially the glimmering light on the pond before I remembered where we had stopped for the night. Wack. Felix is still somehow snoring. Foot twitching in his dream. Muttering something about aerodynamics and Chadley.

I thought about just pushing him into the water but I think it’d be more fun to just drag him by his ankle and see how long it takes for him to wake up.

Instead of just going straight to Saix’s office, I used a corridor to take us to the desert so I can really get some distance in. Made sure to actively walk in the particularly bumpy and key filled canyons. That’ll show him.

After four(ish) miles of having his face dragged through the rough sand of the desert he’s still asleep. Still occasionally muttering about math. What the hell.

Saix didn’t seem to care, “You have another mission in Hollow Bastion, similar to the one in Twilight Town, you will take this drive and attempt to plug it into their systems.”

“Two days in a row actually infiltrating the light’s main base? Saix, you have got to keep making missions for me. These have substance.”

“This could very well get you killed.”

“All missions can but this one means things might actually happen.” 

Saix sighed, “Before you go, you're getting an addendum from Vexen. He didn’t elaborate but I assume you’ll be fetching something for him while you're in the area.”

I nodded to Saix, before I finally turned to Felix, put him up on his feet and gave him a smack to the head. Whereupon he woke up startled, looked around confused for a moment before a cheery, “Oh good morning boss!”

“Listen to Saix or whatever, I'm going on my mission.”

Start to walk away when a soft, “Go ruin JJ’s day boss!” Sang its way to me.

Turning to glare at them just shot a light fueled smile in my face. At least he dropped it. As I left, Ansem the seeker of darkness entered passing by me with a peculiar look.

“Saix, is it true you don’t get paid?” Felix’s questions started immediately. What a weird question.

“We get a small slice of the budget for mission expenses and basic amenities but no. None of us get paid. Certainly not you.”

“So, why do you work for Xehanort?” Felix scratched his head, “Vanitas told me why he is but I don't understand why anyone else would work for him if they’re not being paid.”

My eyes turned to Ansem, who was just floating in the room, “Why would you ask something like that in front of an aspect of Xehanort?”

“Huh? That’s Ansem Seeker of Darkness.” Felix hops around to face Ansem, “Sir, do you get paid?” And the man had a strange look on his face.

I'm not putting up with this, “Well since you insulted him, you go work with him today.”

“I am far from insulted. It is an entirely fair question.” He looked to Felix, “Scientific curiosity and the right to subjugate worlds to the impulses of my nature as a Heartless.”

The PA speakers suddenly crackled to life, “Attention Real Organization 13, I require an all hands meeting in boardroom 3.”

What? Xehanort has said nothing about this. I look to Ansem, who seems just as confused and shrugs. No sense dawdling, we head over.

Vexen’s jobs are weird, but so easy. 

After he was done telling me about it, an emergency meeting was called. We looked at each other in pure confusion, before getting a move on. Vexen grumbling, “Who the heck screwed up this early in the morning on a VACATION Day? How do you get into an emergency doing RELAXING things?” Took the words right out of my mouth.

I haul the dead weight over my shoulder as we made our way down the hall. I can’t believe I got a job this easy. Just dump some trash on those worthless lights and it’ll be done. He’s even going to give me a separate reward, though probably just more curatives. 

The meeting room is a modern room, with a long table and a large monitor at the end. Xehanort and his ‘norts already sitting down laughing about something. The monitor shows mostly a snowscape. Arendale?

“Look. At This.” Xehanort says with open excitement. He pauses, suddenly annoyed, “Vanitas, leave the room.” Asshole why’d you even call me here? “Actually, while I'm at it, finish up your mission. For your next one grab Felix, and go to Monstropolis and don't return till you make 100,000 Unversed.” 

100,000?! Did that musty old fuck just say 100,000?!

After Vanitas left, Xehanort smiled and put something on the screen. On it was…

It’s…Sora. It's really him. He’s older than me now! I mean he always was, but he looks older too! Fancy fancy clothes! 

He looks concerned. Embarrassed. Mortified? Politely staring at a lady on a log who seems to be…I have no idea. In the middle of something that's for sure! They are nearly unmoving, I only managed to convince myself they were by looking around the room a bit and then turning back, the footage having finally managed to change by a handful of pixels.

“LOOK AT HIM!” Master Xehanort cackles, “Look at this exact frame where he wishes for death!”

“Is that lady...singing at him?” Young can hardly hold back his tears and laughter.

“Yes!! What madness of a culture does this world have?” Xehanort turns, “Now Larxene you are aware you are due to head out in the night, correct?”

“Yeah yeah, I know the drill.” She rolls her eyes, “You called me out for this? Ugh.” She makes a corridor and leaves. The rest of the organization gets a laugh in and then bit by bit head out. Ansem pokes my shoulder, and makes a corridor. Oh yeah, I'm still working with him a bit today!

We exit out into the desert, on a really high cliff near the base, “So what's the plan boss?”

“Today we shall hunt down my guardian. We must obtain him soon, Xehanort is aware now of this…hindrance.” He crosses his arms confidently, “With your expertise we should be done before Vanitas returns.”

“Oh man, what are you catching him with?” A net maybe? It’s weird, normally I wouldn't call myself an expert at anything but I get where Ansem is coming from; I usually have like… a pretty good idea where this guardian thing is at. He’s super close right now as we speak. Is that my expertise?

“These chain-” 

“Because he’s right behind that rock.” I point at it and just as Ansem goes to look the large manly Heartless charges out into the wilderness.

“Ha! I knew your recent developments had improved your senses! Come, let us commence the hunt!”

I take the body and leave it right where Vexen ordered. My shoes managed to stay unsinged this time.

But my presence last time was noticed. With this visit less orbs of death and more stalkers following me. I don’t know what they're so excited about. They aren't the hunter. As I duck under the bridge I leap and use darkness to hide and cling to the roof.

They dart past me, a dark-haired girl in dark clothing and a four-pointed blade nearly half her size. Impressive stealth. 

But not good enough for me.

Leaping down, keyblade drawn, with a calm, “Too slow.”

Catching up to the big Heartless was no challenge. But after three attempts later with the chains Ansem stopped running after him. Which really screwed me up cause I was halfway across the canyon when I noticed. Part way up the climb back I ask, “What's up?”

Ansem sighs, “We're not going to catch him.”

I scramble to the top of the cliff Ansem hovers over, “What makes you so sure?”

He sighs, “I thought I had the power, and just needed a scout. But I do not. Not anymore. Perhaps he had grown strong alongside me.” He turns to face me, “Have you considered becoming a Heartless?”

Not really? “Uh, sometimes. But I’d rather lose a fight with one, those seem more colorful.” Where’d this come from?

“Of course, of course, you are… not of the same mind as me and Vanitas. I hardly think anything would come about if you gave into the darkness as you are. You would much sooner just perish.”

“That…sounds bad.” Certainly Not ideal.

Ansem nodded, “I shall return you to Saix.” He created a corridor and floated in.

Following after, for some reason as I walked out, I told him, “I think you would have liked Ava. She was also very serious.” I guess there are other Avatars. But they never even pretend to be alive.

“Hm. Saix. Keep an eye on him till Vanitas returns.”

Saix groaned, Ansem left, and it was back to where we were before.

“So, what are you doing for your vacation…?”

Vanitas mercifully returned, right before Felix could take another breath and continue his aimless assault of questions that almost form a story that would most certainly draw master Xehanort’s ire. Entering through the portal, Vanitas’s coat has a few slashes and a burn mark on it, “I hope you’ll get something because I don't know how long that’ll last.”

Data had been streaming, then had stopped a few minutes ago. Still immensely valuable, “Good work. Sign and you’re free.” I looked at him again, “Apologies, free to go on your next mission.” Pointing at the burn mark, “Leon?”

“Just like you, cut on the nose and doesn’t show off his emotions but with a big fuck off sword gun thing? Yeah, guy’s an asshole.” Vanitas then went to Felix, “You been good?”

“Yeah! I did work for Ansem today, but not for very long. Me and Saix have been chatting since then.”

Vanitas nods then turns to me, “Felix isn’t going on anymore missions for anyone else. Not without going through me. Got it?”

Whatever. I didn’t want to talk to Vanitas about this, but Felix was talking about things Xehanort would likely erase him for. “Vanitas we’re done for now. But I will need to speak to you, alone. When you turn in your next mission, don’t bring Felix.”

He huffed “Fine.” Before grabbing the boy by the arm and dragging him down the hall. Felix eventually recovered his footing and looped an arm around the arm Vanitas had dragged him with. Vanitas didn’t try to stop him. 

Strange.

“Okay Felix, I was planning to get to this a bit later but I guess Xehanort wants you to learn about it NOW.”

“Learning what?” Filled with unusual trepidation.

“Just cause the old man wants this doesn't make it a bad thing. He doesn't even know I'm teaching you this, it just so happens he picked a world I could use for it. Knowing you, you'll love it.” Rolling my eyes under my helmet, “So I’ll be making a corridor, and if you feel magic trying to seep in, that's not pure darkness, let it. Got it?”

“Uh, sure!” I toss my coat on them and make the corridor, “Ohhh what’s gunna happen?”

Staring firmly ahead I try not to look at him or see him. And when we take a few steps into Monstropolis, I look to the sky, “So? Any changes?”

I hear of all things a mechanical whirring, strange clicks, and Felix says, his voice unusually low quality and too far to the left of him “My hands look weird and I feel like I'm back at home.” Oh, great what does that mean?

Turning to them I- find my mind going blank.

Sora. 

Catboy Sora is standing behind me.

But his heart is gray and full of holes half clogged with darkness. He’s too short. He looks fake, synthetic materials making up his fur and fins and his eyes are terrifying dead plastic shells. Wearing Felix’s clothes. Tilting its head like Felix and with strange stiff movements opening its mouth to say, “Vanitas? Everything okay?”

A cascade of answers roars in my mind. Hundreds of questions are answered and hundreds more are created. My feet wander to a small cement wall where I either sat or collapsed, I’m not sure anymore. Clutching my helm, holding back a scream, I feel like the biggest dumbass this side of the fucking Realm of Light.

That’s not Sora, that’s Felix, Sora’s not a catboy he is just a boy, probably looks like Felix- no. Felix looks like him, he must be the record of Sora. Sora’s the one who is containing Ventus, who must have healed Ventus on that night, which is why I have… ‘my’ face. Felix wasn’t ever trying to wear my face. He was wearing Sora’s. And I was also…

My head starts pounding and my eyes stop seeing, I want to lash out but… Felix is now just a fake rubber doll counting up the doom and Gloom I've been creating, counting up to his limit, before scratching a tally on the wall and starting over. Not an ounce of suspicion, but rather trying to be upbeat to quell his building concern.

I grabbed him by his scruffy little neck, trying to ignore that I only got a handful of rubber and not any meat, “Who’s record were you?”

“H-Huh…?” Grabbing my hands, the feel of his weird little robot bones pressed through his hands like cheap rubber gloves, “What’s the matter Vani-?”

“IT WAS SORA WASN’T IT!?” Lifting up and nearly ripping off his rubber skin, “Why didn’t you TELL ME?”

“I- I-” never thought I’d find Felixs crying strange, but it comes out of the sockets with a strange bright blue substance, screaming with his rattley new voice, “I wanted you to want ME and not HIM!” Felix pulling at my arm hard enough it actually hurt, “Everyone ALWAYS wants him! They never wanted me! I was always just a discounted version of him and I thought- I thought I could be me. And be me! Not just a copy.”

“Even though you wear his face?!”

“Hey it’s not like I stole it, I was born with it too!” Now pressing his foot against me to pry himself away, “That doesn't make Sora any more special than me just cause he came first!” And for the first time, Felix felt actual honest to God rage. Fury. Indignation. Bitter bitter bitterness right down to his stupid little core. “Why should I have to change myself just cause he exists?! Why should I have to stay the same as him just because he exists?! Why can't I just be me?!”

I let him go. 

He hits the ground with a loud crunch that makes me and all the Unversed in the area jump. Crap he better not be fragile… But he sits up all the same, filled with shame.

Sighing, “What’s your re- old name?”

“...Data-Sora.” He squirms, his fake body not looking correct, “Please don't make me go back! Felix is the name you gave me, just for me…” His distress is palpable.

I put a hand to his head, “You are Felix.” Instant dizzying relief, “And for the safety of your hide, you were never this…’Data Sora’.” That's so boring. Data Sora? Really? Couldn’t go for a smushed name like a Dora or a Sota? Or a language swap; An Ouranós or Caelum? Data Sora, bah!

A copy of the hero. I should kill him. You should have killed him ages ago. You should have reported him to Xehanort the second that it became a danger- What? A danger? 

The hell are you on about, a copy of the hero is GREAT!

To my understanding, Sora’s been kicking their collective asses! I had been thinking Felix might be able to match the power of one of the weaker lights who still causes major trouble for us, like that Donbald guy, but Sora the little hero? If Felix’s even a quarter as capable as the real mint that still means he’s head and shoulders about half the dreck that is the organization!

Standing up the world starts spinning, then I blink and I'm on top of a Blobmob. I might have more emotional turmoil than I think. “How's my count so far?”

“Hmm hmm about 13 groups of 255 or 3,315.”  With a loud clicky blink, “Give or take.” He tilts his head, “Is 100,000 really a goal we can reach in a day?”

No. Not even in a lifetime. “We're just going to have to do it.” Sighing, a hand pressed to my helmet, “Made some progress, I see. Perhaps having a small localized revelation was a good idea.” Unversed where packed fairly gill to gill, “Spread out you idiots!” They scattered to the four winds.

Now without literal mental baggage I took stock of the situation. We are on the roof. Out of sight. And it's raining, but very lightly.

That last one wouldn't be a note if Felix wasn’t suddenly battery powered. I turned to look at him and he's staring right into a pool of water. Mystified and scared. I ask, “Felix?”

“Vanitas there is a monster in the water.'' He reaches for the water and hesitates, “Can it swim…?”

“Again? That's your reflect-”

“AHHHHH WHY IS THE REAL WORLD SO COOL?!” Felix laughed, “So that's why you kept calling Sora a catboy! I was starting to think puberty was really really weird.” Looking even closer, tilting his head side to side to see, “What part is cat?”

I went to tell him but then he just stood up, walked forward, fell backwards a little bit and then parked himself squarely in a puddle of water. My confusion born harvest at least led to a new tally mark in the form of a parade worth of Triple Wreckers.

Felix giggled, “Do they count as three or one?”

One. “Three.” You’re going to get in trouble. Says who?

What the fuck ever, I have a student to teach and Unversed to make, “Alright Felix, attention!”

Felix propped up, ears audibly clicked up, “Yes Master?”

Ha. Funny looking idiot. “Okay. Do you remember a while ago, like a serious while ago, I asked if you were magic prone?”

“Yes!” Thumbs up, “I have no idea what it meant.”

“Of course. In this case I was talking specifically about being prone to world magic. Some worlds are just more or less magical than others. Now most of the time we don't have to worry about it except canceling the effects, but the lights care about the worlds so they either let the magic affect them or use transformation magic.”

“I know this! To help blend in and keep world (b)order, right?”

“What in the- never say it like that ever again!” Rolling my eyes, “Sounds like Ventus brand garbage to me, so yes. That. Now most creatures aren't magic enough in nature to be affected but I am one of those. No, I will not be letting the world alter me. You can if you wish and with you looking like that, you are most definitely magic prone. I'm not shocked, given how…fluid you can be. You didn’t actively choose to transform, did you?”

“Nope nope!” Little tiny hops forward. 

Insatiable curiosity, “Why don’t you try?” and after a moment's thought, “What's the limits to your transforming anyways? Like if I tell you who to transform, could you do it even if you’ve never met them?”

“Yep yep! Ava has a HUGE database of faces she scanned, compiled, and stole right from the minds of, goodness hundreds of people? So there’s a really good chance she might have already picked it up and if not I can just take it.”

I gagged. I don't know what it means to do that but my first thought was a hand literally dragging a finger across the back interior of my skull. “Okay let’s try that only maybe when we need to. For now,” pivoting on my heel, "This is an excellent place to test your mobility some more.”

“YeeeeAHHHH~~~~!!!” Felix running head first into a wall and up it.

This might have been a bad idea.

But Master Vanitas needs to feel bad things to make Unversed. He…He needs to feel hurt.

I hate this. Maybe I don’t really get hate, but I think I hate this. Vanitas has already hurt enough, why can’t we just lie? JJ would have hated the lying, but he would get over it because he lies all the time and he gets over his own lies very fast, we can get over ours with speed!

Making Unversed with Vanitas is an experience I would never wish to do as per Xehanort's orders ever again. Vanitas always making them and that’s fun, they don’t seem to be more then small grumbles that way. But when he starts forcing them…he starts acting strange.

The biggest thing that's making me worry is just… the numbers.

100,000. Was that a real achievable goal? We’ve been here maybe three hours total (I think at least; it’s hard to tell my timer is just not working here!) and in about the last hour Vanitas has only made about 6,000ish. Or I guess to be more specific we have 76,523 left to go. 

His production varies by what's going on. Vanitas is letting everything aggravate him. He’s gone on like his 26th rant about Ventus (75,443). He points out people being stupid and leaving their desks a mess (75,441), yells screaming at the few Monsters who are still in the building (75,343), approaches every weird yellow can and gets so mad when apparently they are filled with ‘joy.’ (75,113. 75,045. 75,034…)

But how long can he keep this going?

I try to help. I ask questions he hates. I asked Why about 255 times in a row and boy that got him steaming. Knocking things down and then tripping on them makes him upset. Petting the Unversed in full eye sight. Bumping into him in the halls. Singing out of key. Screaming in key. But I'm running out of things to say and do…

And we are nowhere close enough. (71,002)

Would my cheats help? I haven't thought about them since I left home and had to turn most of them off. Will they still work? I crank up the luck cheat. Some of the bigger Unversed randomly start splitting up into more Flood. I turn it to max, my body feels funny but it’s worth it. We still need more. We still need so much more…

Ugh, am I going to have to lie? I hate that. I’m so bad at making good lies.

“I think me and Ventus could be… uh, good friends!”

When I open my eyes again, Vanitas is dumping a bottle of high potion on my head. There are more Unversed, and I'm about a foot into a concrete pillar? 

Something's logged into my head, but I'll have to worry about that later. “Oh, hi Vanitas, what I miss?”

“Shut the fuck up and start counting.”

He creates more. I count the new ones.

68,550 left.

My new stomach clenches funny. This isn’t going to end well is it?

Don’t stop.

You can’t stop.

You’re the one who has to make them so we can leave. Keep Going.

Don’t be careful counting anymore. Double count. Triple count. Count the Flood in your pockets every time. Double them. Triple. That same Jellyshade in view is clearly a different one every time. Count as many Unversed for however many eyes they have. Triple Wreckers are clearly worth seven Unversed- no! Seventeen! Delete the real number. The real number can’t hurt if it’s gone.

If only this was as easy to lie about like munny. Xigbar thank you for teaching me so many ways to cheat numbers! Please inspire some new ones in me! I need to lie more…!

Every tally is 700 now. No, you still can't count that high, but pretend. Vanitas isn't counting. As long as the timing is correct, he’ll never notice they aren't correct. Wait, he knows my limit. 765? Say I'm tripling up? No, just... Add an extra line a third of the way through a count? But he’s slowing down. He’s slowing down so much… Not even a 16x luck multiplier is helping anymore.

What are we going to do?

God knows how long we’ve been here, and I am out.

At least about more than half left and I Am Spent. There is no more rage at mistakes or the unfairness of the world, no more boredom, no more sorrows. Not even embarrassment! I never thought I'd run out of that, just staring at Felix's attempts to understand anything, but I've made my peace that he’s just like that. He’s my apprentice. 

That old man…I can hear him. Shouting at me. 

At first it was easy, that revelation was so much! And training they came as usual and then just… slowed and slowed until…here I am. Stuck on the floor in a hallway sick to my guts. 

I've been making so many for so long, when I breathe the air no longer fills my lungs, it just rattles along my ribs and dries my aching heart. 

Why are you so pathetic? You could do this before! Look at how you’ve fallen.

Felix seems to notice somethings been wrong, “Uh, Master, maybe we should take a break? Do something…nice?” His clicks and whirs have only gotten louder in my head. His neck is still ripped open from before, everything else keeps continuing to deteriorate, and there’s a massive dent in the back of his head that just seems to keep getting worse. He says he feels fine. He’s my apprentice. Stange Scrappers are made, should I try to think of that more…? No. Not enough to make it worth it.

Look at that failure. How could you have ever thought this was acceptable? Punish him now!

“Almost…I just need a bit more and we can stop…” What a stupid lie, we are nowhere close. Is there anything even left? “Felix, I had a trick for these…” A laugh, I don't know why, “But even that’s not working.”

Felix’s little clicks follow his normal, if more antsy, head tilt, “What’s the trick?”

“Being in your shoes. From before. When you couldn't see or move.” I managed to painfully squeeze out a few more Flood, but in exchange I had to remove my helmet and vomit. Any more of that and my nose is going to fall off from the burning. “This sucks. That always worked…” I’m almost jealous of that broken Felix, but I released all of that a while ago.

You deserve this.

“...You can't keep doing this.” Felix’s voice was flat, he had approached and kept my hair out of my face. A Scraper slides in with a cloth to clean it, “Can you take mine? Somehow?” He is the perfect picture of miserable and helpless. “Or my buddies or…something? Please? A nap…? Literally anything…?” He always moves his hands when he talks. Being a machine now, his hands have wasted away to bare metal bones.

It takes seconds to fully process words anymore. Then forming words to respond from all the syllables caught in my mouth feels like a series of puzzles. …could try filling a container…?

Goddamn it Randall why’d you have to die.

A singular Yellow Mustard crawls out of my throat. I’m jealous Randall, I want to die too. What a lucky lizard.

Finally escaping my mouth, “To… the main floor.” Between heaves of breath, “The machines can collect human emotions.”

“That's amazing!” But Felix caught on, shoulders slumping, “Why didn't we do that sooner?”

“Feels gross.” I hold myself tight, “Feeling things that aint mine. All sticking to me.”

Weakling.

Felix’s understanding is true empathy, “I gotcha.” It shouldn't be. Why? What? Again I force it, a Triple Wrecker. _{Y e s…}

It wasn’t too far. But everything feels like walking through neck deep swamp water clogged with the bodies of rotting eels. The equipment is all there, the doors lined up…

“I dunno what to do now…” What would even scare Felix at this point? His idea of fear is skewed. Maybe if I rolled over and pretended to die…

Why bother pretending, boy? It would save both of us further embarrassment.

Felix starts fiddling with a few computers, reading a few papers, and then headbutted one of the consoles. That’s not normally a sign of good news.

Deeply anxious, twitchy with loud crackley snaps, “We can just stay here, wait till you recover and then-”

“This world would eat up what’s left of vacation time.” That minorly miserable thought barely creates a single sickly Flood.

“But you’re hurt-”

He distrusts you. Thinks you’re weak.

“I’m fine! Do you not trust me?!” A single worthless Red-Hot Chili.

“I can leave to go get one of the monsters? Force them to make the machine work for us?”

“Would that even work on a fake like you?”

Felix looked away; his hurt was barely a blip before a moment of eureka. With his new plastic smile, he turned and kneeling towards me. A shift. Somehow, he managed to look even deader, but…fuller? The neck that had been caved in was back out to a normal neck size. Then he grabbed the edge of his rotting rubber skin where it was torn and started to peel it back to reveal-

Ventus.

_{That is not-}

Ventus is in front of me. Peeling off a mask of the robot catboy Felix. 

_{Vanitas he is not-}

Whatever made up this deluge of Flood was primal. None of my senses could reach me. My heart felt like it was tearing itself up into pieces at the sheer audacity of that…! That worthless blonde slut crawling out of MY apprentice!

The Mandrake and Sea-Salt after party arrived five seconds later when my brain caught up from what the fuck even was that last line of thought. Good going Felix, I can't feel anything now but we’re so…so much closer to done.

Ventus- _Fe- VENTUS looked at me, incorrectly. No judgment. Thin. Smiling, not with some cocky fake bravado but a nice smile that I punch with all my might.

I only clip him but a torrent of Flood is created and surround us.

I hate Xehanort. I hate JJ. I hate the stupid machines being too complicated to work, I hate this world, I hate this world and everything not Vanitas in it!!

Maybe Ventus is a bad influence. Making me think funny. He sure brings Vanitas down to a raving mess. 

Vanitas finally stops literally frothing in anger and grabs me by the arm. Painfully. Dang nabbit Ventus you’re going to make Vanitas rip off my arm! He screams, “MERGE! MERGE MERGE ALREADY DAMMIT! How can you TAKE THiS? WHY DO YOU NOT CREATE MONSTERS?! AREN'T YOU IN CONSTANT PAIN?! WHY DON’T YOU FALL APART WITHOUT YOUR OTHER HALF?! IT’S NOT FAIR, YOU KNOW IT’S NOT!”

“I don’t know. I'm hiding it from everyone cause I don't understand it.” Master is clearly hurting something fierce. I don't want to make it worse but I want to know what’s going on. There’s only one person Vanitas hates more than Ventus, “I think Xehanort was lying to me about it.”

“WE were one heart ripped in two; one light and one darkness!” His voice suddenly takes on a desperate almost squeaky laugh, “Aren't you tired of being broken too?? Fight with me! Merge with me! We would be compete again and-!” His voice breaks, and he chokes a bit, “I wouldn’t have to make monsters anymore! It would stop!”

Merging…oh! I get it! Like what me, Elminichan, and Ava did! But like, properly! Wait, why wouldn't Ventus do that? What a dufus. I nod with complete sincerity. “Sounds good! Let’s do it!”

I think Master has a seg fault. He stops breathing. His grip just somehow grows endlessly stronger. My arms start bleeding. His eyes really aren't looking at anything anymore. 

There are so, so many Unversed being made… And now he won’t have to make anymore, ever again.

Poking him lightly on the shoulder, “Uh, you’re going to have to tell me what to do?” Let's see, what should I be doing? Better prepare a proper partition…no he should have the Master drive and he probably already has one. Compartmentalizing? Do a round of compression? Yeah, that sounds right. I better make things more modular and comment everything carefully for him so he doesn't have a big headache like I did. I don’t know how much I can really do though before he does something.

His voice cracks in a weird kinda creepy way, almost laughing “Y-You’re really not going to fight me? Aren't you afraid you’re the one who's going to die?”

“No? If we were one being we’d go back to being us.”

“You mean you.” Vanitas spits with so much anger, “You got to keep our real name and face after all.”

“Then let’s start over! New us! New name! New face! New everything!” It sounds really refreshing honestly. “You should pick the name; you’re way better at them.”

Vanitas pauses for a moment, his eyes roll around slowly in thought, before a toothy mirthless grin, “Vincentius? Conquer. Prevailing over that wretched old man.” He laughed without laughter, “Vincent would be a slightly more modern version if we want to go that new...”

I want to say more, but then the master does something and I can't breathe anymore.

So close! I'm so close to being free!

In the chambers of awakening, though it seems like actions here have time and motions they don’t. They are but a single moment in real time.

Upon my destroyed joke of a platform, I stand. Crumbling to bits, there were only small chunks of glass left in the corners of spaces, the only thing really left was the wrought iron. With bated breath I wait, grinding some of the glass underfoot, watching as the other platform appears into view and much smaller square stained-glass platforms connect them.

The first thing I obtain from Ventus’s accursed heart…Is a boot to my head. I saw it sailing toward me heel first. I could barely acknowledge that a Shoegazer was soaring across the space to stomp on me, before it did. Now I lie here. Shards of glass, my broken shredded heart digging into my back, as down from that platform came a small veritable swarm of Unversed. They broke apart, returning into the crevices of my heart along with searing, painful light.

A small smiling face, not Ventus, skips around the Unversed and down the path. They are blurry and their edges are wrong, but it is them.

With sudden clarity, like freezing sea water to the face, my sanity is partly restored. I dropped the connection.

But not before a reaching hand crossed the threshold.

In the real world, the strange thin Ventus’s eyes roll into their head, and slowly they bleed back into Felix. He lies on the floor shivering. Eyes unfocused, muttering softly, and on the cusp of unconsciousness. His body too is far, far too thin.

What…what the hell?! Why?! “What the fuck where you thinking!? That could have killed you!” Far more than kill; utterly annihilate their entire existence would be more accurate. 

But Felix doesn’t respond. Still caught in a stupor. Having fundamental chunks of your heart go missing for the first time will do that. Stupid. Moronic. Suicidal imbecile.

With the newly restored Unversed, I unleash some; that's it. Mission over. I don't care if it's a few off, that's enough. 

Do you take me for a fool?

But my ribs collapse on themselves, a horrid panicked thought tearing through my mind. No. He knows, he gave it directly, he is counting on you failing right now. Keep going. You can’t stop. You're only barely halfway there. You are a worthless failure. You have to prove to him you’re not.

So pathetic. I’m so fucking pathetic. I can’t stop. Not yet.

The tips of my fingers and toes feel like they're on fire for a moment before they stop feeling all together.

That stupid boot Unversed hops around to Felix, glaring at me. Damn it I guess they can be the same Unversed after all. Carefully balancing a paper cup of water in its antenna, it attempts to pour Felix some before inevitably splashing it over his face.

It's enough to get him to stir, each eye blinking alone slowly, looking around lost before finally starting to focus. He tilts his head at me, squints his eyes. Unrecognizing. 

Snapping, “What the hell are you looking at?!”

Staring, squinting and un-squinting before lucidity returns, his eyes going wide, “V-Vanitas?!” Concern for once AGAIN literally everything unimportant at the forefront, “Vanitas what’s wrong?! What’s going on with your face?”

My face?

Felix starts again, “I- I’m having trouble recognizing you.” Again, those hands reach out, tentatively this time, “My facial recognition keeps… failing.”

I don't know what compels me but I look at my hand. Remove the glove, then peel back the dark suit. 

It doesn't have my skin anymore; it is just a perfectly blank replica hand. The plastic whiteness seems to slip further under my suit.

Felix has a small localized meltdown of his own, enough for both of us because I don’t feel anything about it. Eventually his mind lands upon laughter of all things, nervous as hell, “Well, as Xehanort would surely say for himself, it’s hospital time.” No he wouldn’t, if he saw me now, like this… he’d beat the Unversed he wanted out of me. Even if he needed to go to the hospital. Felix, No longer laughing sternly, said, “It’s time to stop Boss.”

“No.” I force more out, the burning crawls further, and a few ratty Floods drip out, “I… can’t be done. I’m not... Allowed to be done yet.”

“Oh yes you are! I was counting, we're done boss! We’re done done done!” He’s a shitty liar. Grabbing my hand, “Please. Please stop.” Desperation, “We need to leave. Now. To Vexen’s.” _{His eyes were begging me.} 

A single Yellow Mustard, off color, for the jealousy that he can feel more than I can right now. I need those more than him.

Under the surface, Felix has another revelation, and suddenly sputters out “Vanitas. I have an idea!!” He swallows “But I need you to hold onto all your Unversed right now; maybe you need a build up to make more than trying to just release little dregs!” Completely honest. _{He’s worried about me.}

Maybe he’s right. A spark of something unfamiliar burns in my chest. Standing up, desperately holding in my terror, fury, confusion, clutching on to every Unversed trying to rattle their way out, yeah, I guess that’s working I can feel them, I can feel them trying to leave and then I can… _{I can…}

“Let’s go to that bench. Sit you down. A small break to make things go farther than just breaking from being broken is better right?” Felix has lost all cool. _Why?

Trying to walk to it is a herculean task. I can’t feel one of my legs much, but I think it is moving. The other only works about halfway down the thigh but stops after the knee. _{Everything feels so slow. So far away. Muted.}

_{Quiet. peaceful.} 

Felix tries to hold me up, but for some reason after melting back into his form it’s the wrong size. Much too short. Way beyond too thin. At least his fingers have skin, but the bones are still so visible. It’s not helped that his coordination is shot. We barely made it to this bench before I collapsed on myself. _{He’s so small. Why’s he so small?}

There’s a pile of Unversed just waiting to be unleashed. Screaming and clawing, I’ll let them free and be closer to-

Couldn't use sleep i don't have sleep i can’t use stop, that’ll just kill him, shock doesn't last long enough and frozen leaves you awake i thought i had to do it i had to do it i had to he’s dying he’;s dying he’s dying I can't stop shaking, I can't stop crying. I just hit Master in the back of the head with a shovel. 

I had to make him stop! i had to make him stop!

What do i do where do i go what do i do- (Let not the rancid fear fester.) Huh? (There is escape. With this power all ours, no one can ever hold you down.)

On her board. Coordinates. I grab master, and lift him over my shoulders; it’s wrong, i run i run i leave to the roof and i see it i see the stars I see the depths i see it in the depths and get the numbers and GO.

It’s late at night in my lab, when I hear what sounds like a small localized explosion. There isn’t enough crackling for it to be Larxene and Demyx left for the day. At least he better have.

Shouting from my place at the computer, “I’m a little BUSY with IMPORTANT things!” Turning to look over my shoulder, “What are you-?! Oh dear.”

Two bodies hit the floor. One Blank replica, and the Tiniest Sora I’ve ever seen, panicked and crying screaming, “MR VEXEN HELP I THINK I KILLED VANITAS.”

Chapter Text

“What happened?” Vexen lifted what was left of Vanitas up, looking horrified, “This is… fetch me my tools!” The Unversed in the area after what could only be described as a moment of lag, leapt up and started gathering things. Vexen’s here. He’ll make everything better. I owe him so much. I should get him a gift.

I tried helping Vexen move him, but I don’t feel very good. Very wobbly. Pushed around by ghosts in my head. I really only was able to keep Vanitas’s left boot off the ground.

Heaving Vanitas on the table, Vexen struggled to get a reading, “It’s almost entirely gone…” Shaking his head again, then kneeling in front of me to look into my eyes, “Felix, please. Tell me what you can.” He reaches out with his hands to hold mine, shaking them a bit as he speaks, “What happened?” With unusual desperation, “Please.”

“To-today we… We did small missions.” My voice feels very far away, “Then Xehanort asked for Vanitas to make 100,000 Unversed.” I couldn't help but look away, pulling my hands away. “We did it…” Then looking right back, “But I think it really hurt Vanitas!”

“100,000!?” Vexen held his chin, “That’ll be the cause.” Standing up, “This should be easy to fix, provided you stick around and the severity alone hasn’t doomed him.”

“Me? I can help?!” I couldn't help but smile, “Tell me tell me!” It hopefully won't need accuracy, cause even little movements leave me dizzy. My bones are sore. It is so weird for sore to matter.

He sighed, “Now now, first I'm going to stabilize him. Then you’re getting a checkup, because you don’t look like yourself right now.” He probably didn't mean for me to hear the mutter, “You look like you’re going to keel over and join him at any second…”

“I feel…off?” Looking around, now able to see the bottoms of most tables. “Like everything's taller.”

“You’re younger. Far younger than you should be. Absolutely emaciated as well.” Sighing again, rubbing his brow, “Anything you can tell me about your condition?”

“Uh… currently I have a loud beep in my head saying something about CRIT_ERROR_ALL_DEPLT.”

The scientist's eyes go wide and his mouth hangs open in obvious terror. Oops.

It's late. Extremely late. Even by now Vanitas should have returned and reported his success. He’s not the kind who would have forgotten about or delayed turning in his missions after all. Did something happen?

I start to stalk the halls when a message comes in over the intercom, Vexen’s nasally voice says flatly, “Xion and Riku I need both of you in the lab Stat. If anyone else has the time to assist, report to my lab immediately!”

Well I don't. But I need to see what's going on.

The two others dash past me, and I follow after. Riku snorts, “Feeling like being someone else’s lapdog today?”

He’s lucky we reached the lab, otherwise I’d be telling Xemnas about his behavior.

Vexen greets us with, “Xion, go assist Felix, he’ll let you know your job, Riku, go fetch me these supplies,” handing him a list, “No I don't care if you steal them, honestly preferable given the amounts and- oh Saix? What are you doing here?”

“The Organization's business is mine to know about.”

Vexen waved a hand with an annoyed grunt, “The two resident troglodytes nearly killed themselves. I can’t tell you what the hell Felix did to himself, I'm guessing it's a rapid deterioration from malnu- whatever not critical and Vanitas.” Vexen balled up his fists in rage, “Unfortunately discovered his limit on making Unversed. If he makes any more, he will perish.”

A limit? “What do you mean?”

Vexen goes to speak, but clearly an idea crosses his mind, “You wanted to speak with him, yes? This is a good time to, and it's the sort of… Let's go with ‘enrichment’ he needs right now to recover.” Pointing down the way, “I'm going to need no interruptions when I go in for proper repairs, so go do that now while you have the chance.”

I hate it when he ignores the question. But I walked past him and into one of the lab’s back rooms.

Much like a hospital room there isn't much but a gurney and equipment. A faceless replica in a coat sits on the reclined bed. Arms crossed; it actually turns to ‘face’ me.

“Where is-”

“I'm right in front of you, asshole.” Vanitas’s voice is soft. Muffled like it's spoken out of one of Lea’s blown out speakers. Sighing, the blank face looking down, “Don’t piss me off. You might actually kill me.”

Looking around, I spot a stool and I pull it up. This is…beyond strange. Even for me. Xion had an issue of identity. Not Vanitas. But I continue, “I wanted to speak with you after your mission about some things Felix told me. But it can wait if you think it will… upset you.”

“I’ll be fine.” Crackly with static, “But hold on cause he’s almost here.”

Just as he said that Felix, nearly a third shorter than he was this morning, burst through the doors. A strange bundle of energy in an orb held above his hands, “Delivery delivery!”

Vanitas slammed his hand on the orb, and absorbed it into his skin. Suddenly for brief moments, he looked like himself. But after a second of staring, it was just the replica again. But every time he moved, every time I saw him out of the corner of my eye, he would almost appear for a moment.

“I’ll get more!” With a laugh Felix ran off, Xion hot on his heels to open him a corridor.

Well. What the hell was that about…

“Would you even answer me if I pressed?”

“If you asked? Maybe.” Vanitas seemed to glare, before he growled all gristled, “What did you want? It’s about Felix, right?”

I just shake my head, “You interact with him more; what is Felix? Who are these people, and I guess Heartless, he speaks of? Are they a threat to our organization?” Better to be direct.

Vanitas snorts, “That all? He give you one of those ‘oh my friend BlahBlah who did yatayata’ conversations?” Normally he’s so still, but for some reason in this replica form he’s all body motions. The yata yatta came with little hand puppet motions and everything. 

“You are aware of these people? Like the ones named Donald and Goofy? You didn’t report them because…?”

He suddenly stops moving to look at me. His face, even without the helmet, is as unreadable and unhelpful as ever, “Felix thinks he had friends but the longer he talks about them the more I think it’s just…” Vanitas rolls his hand for a moment, “What does Vexen always call it…? Meaningless noise? Whatever, the point is they’re not real.”

“You think they are not real?” Of all the things I was expecting, that wasn’t one of them. “Even in the face of the Heartless the other day?”

“Talking with Vexen it’s obvious that Felix clearly absorbed some of Sora’s data. That’s how it got its form right? By the way, thanks for not informing me of the resemblance sooner you jackasses.”

“Xehanort’s orders.” Never has a perfectly blank face felt so judgmental.

“I should have known, the old bastard®. Why am I not surprised?” Shrugging, “Whatever. In any case, I think it picked up its friends list from the same place. I’ve heard it talk about his friends; Mickey, Donald, Goofy, those are all Sora's friends, right? But then JJ, Ava, and then something called the Goddamned Eliminator? What kind of names are those? JJ apparently looks and acts like that Riku Replica guy. Felix treats him like how you guys say Sora treats Riku.” 

“So, he is friends with the enemy?” Xehanort will not abide by his continued existence if that was the case.

For a moment Vanitas’s real face flickered back in with a shocked snort and laugh, “Oh HELL no. For starters, they weren’t the real ones. And for second, the ones he did know were a sick joke played on him. A Heartless was his best friend, the J-J Riku whatever the fuck lived to hurt him, the rest weren’t alive. He has no actual connections to the real ones and the fake ones are just garbage data his head makes him think were people he dealt with who mattered. They were neither, because they are not real.”

Vanitas makes some strange gesture towards the wall, “That Heartless? The one in the lab, Terror Angel whoever the fuck? It’s not a real Heartless. Vexen followed up on it; it’s a related glitch from the same pile of bad data Felix is from. Those people he ‘talked’ to? They’re not the real ones. Not ‘real’ at all.”

I didn’t think hearing about imaginary friends would make me feel relieved, but I am. Nothing worth reporting, “So just another hurdle from his nature? Making mistakes with the false connections in his head?”

“Yeah sure. Besides,” Vanitas starts to turn away, “The two that sound the most concerning are dead apparently.”

“Oh? And those would be?”

“Why bother? He said they died when they ‘got re-compiled’ whatever that means.” His body keeps flickering more and more into view. 

I found myself glaring at Vanitas, “Go tell Vexen. Right now.”

“Already did. Said they're super beyond decimated.” He snorts, his voice uncannily matching the scientist, “PROVIDED they existed at all!”

Said Scientist walked in through the door, “Ugh, what a horribly accurate impression.” Vexen tilted his head in a few ways, “You're looking better, hopefully the operation will go without a hitch. Saix, you need to leave.”

Standing up, with a nod towards Vanitas, “May your recovery be swift. I’ll hold off on that big mission I need from you until you recover fully.”

The replica on the bed just grumbled, “I can’t believe you all let me think he was a catboy for that long.”

Throughout the night, Felix and Xion would run out and gather Unversed and bring them back to Vanitas. Felix had a strange pattern, feeling very sure that he needed to bring some Unversed in a specific order. Ones he said were ‘rare’ and ‘made of the important things’. Seemed effective enough. 

For me and the Riku Replica, we spent the entire night putting Vanitas in stasis and making sure his body hadn’t been irreparably damaged from the interaction. 

Xehanort does not listen to anything I ever tell him. But since he still has yet to rescind his initial orders, in his place I must order Vanitas to lie from now on during these Unversed missions. It shouldn’t be possible to bottom out the heart like this. If it weren’t so strong, he would have already lost himself.

A gloomy thought crossed my mind, perhaps… he had long since lost his true self. 

Never mind all that. It’s far too late to have a conscience. There is still work to do. Parts to replace, parts to patch up, a nearly endless sea of variables to double check…

“EVERYONE WE NEED YOU VANITAS IS DYING!” The screaming small Felix would shout into random caves, before a kinda disgusting swarm of Unversed would arrive and disappear just as fast.

Reminds me of this rock Roxas and me flipped over that had a ton of roaches under it.

Sometimes Felix would randomly tell an Unversed, “Not now; later! Please go wait in the main cave till I come back for ya.” Then he’d gun it to the next hole in the rocks to stick his head into. 

On one hand, I feel extremely annoyed by all this. It was cutting into my ‘Vacation’ time. I’m not using it for fun, I’m using it for my own personal missions. By admittedly abusing Vexen’s trust, during my volunteering I had been combing through some of the Organization's files. I wanted to know what was really going on. So sick of them hiding things from us all.

But on another, Felix’s devastated little face was enough to get me to go along with little more than a sigh. Felix’s isn’t Sora, I know that, but something about my eyes and the way Felix acts…It tricks my heart. And I can't stand to see it. Vanitas isn’t very nice, and really doesn’t deserve it. But Felix shouldn’t have the people who matter to him die.

The heroes are still active… even with sora preoccupied. I wonder if this is a chance to get away? Maybe if this healing thing doesn’t work and Vanitas dies, I can convince Felix to join me.  

Once Felix had enough Unversed, he’d circle around me, “Thank you Xion! Thank you Xion!” And I would make a portal back.

To be honest, I have no idea what this is accomplishing. Or what Felix is even doing with the Unversed in the first place. Or why he’s suddenly way shorter than even me. Or sicker. Wait, I can probably get an answer for these ones! “Hey Felix, why are you…smaller?”

“Vexen says I'm dying, but way slower so it’s okay!!” 

“That doesn’t explain anything Felix.” I mean it almost explains sicker but not shorter. His next seven replies didn’t make it any clearer.

“Everything’s good over here doc.”

“Yes, yes, I think… I think that’s it for now.” There was nothing more we could do; we can only leave Vanitas in the hands of fate now. We begin to clean up our stations. “Riku you’ve done plenty for tonight, why don’t you head to bed for now?”

“What, and leave Demyx to finish this up?” Carefully putting away some rather delicate instruments, “I'll leave when the work is done.”

What a wonderful little assistant. I’ll need to figure out a better reward system to get him back in here…

With my own station done, I double checked on Vanitas. Still more replica than himself. Only time will tell if he’ll make it. But with the deliveries of Unversed, he seems to be more and more on the mend. What the hell had he been thinking? Why didn’t he stop?

To distract myself, I turn my sights to the seemingly less dire of the two. Felix has returned with another bundle of Unversed. As Xion and I watched him she brought up a fascinating point, “Felix, uh, how exactly are you carrying these things?”

Originally when I had ordered him to bring them, I had expected physical bodies and a long line of them returning, not in strange bursts of magic. Felix, his childish expressions now sitting on his face far more appropriately looked very happy, “Oh! I figured we had to be fast so I've just been collecting them in my heart and pulling them out as needed.”

Huh, how novel.

…

“Wait, could you say that again?” 

"I’ve been putting them in my heart!” Puffing up his chest so proud, “Most are only about a bit big, but some can reach up to a whole byte! It’s usually Flood, ain't that neat you wouldn't expect Floods-?”

Somewhere along his explanation it dawned on us how utterly Deranged and Horrifying the words coming out of his mouth were, Xion unable to hold back a loud, “WAIT, YOU’VE BEEN DOING WHAT?!” 

“Uh, putting them in my heart-?”

Pinching my brow, “How isn’t your existence terribly compromised?”

Felix shrugged. Still with a large silly smile of a child. This form seems to be accidently more accurate to his real mindset. It’s far worse than a 14-year-old Sora.

Clearing a spot with a sigh, “Felix, get on the table, who knows how much damage you’ve done to yourself.”

“Uh, 73.333- repeating if the console’s log is to be believed.” He could reach the table edge with a small jump but struggled to pull himself up. Xion lifted him the rest of the way there, “Thanks!!”

By this point Riku was finished with his task and watching, shaking his head in disgust, “Why can you even read that? You’re not supposed to be able to.”

Xion shifted uncomfortably as well, “Is…is Felix gunna be okay…?”

I put a hand on her shoulder, “It’s fine. You’ve had a long day. You two Riku, you both earned the rest of the night off.”

My two creations looked at me, before leaving quietly. As I stood there, seeing Felix in such great spirits… I could leave him to tomorrow. He let out a very big yawn. Most certainly. I need him awake for the testing. And truth be told I don’t want to do it now.

“Felix, it’s late. The testing can wait, why don’t you stay with Vanitas for now? Your presence might do his heart some good.” Might. A heart of pure darkness sometimes has nonstandard reactions. Could instead be aggravated by company…

But I couldn't stop Felix now if I tried. Jumping from the table with a happy cry. Running in a small circle around me before dashing down the hall into the room and from the sounds of the crashing, leaping right on to Vanitas. 

Poking my head into check, I was right. But Vanitas had regained some consciousness for a moment, just enough to grab and hold Felix. While Felix was clearly pleased as punch, Vanitas did not hold him like one would something they cared about. No, he had grabbed him by the neck and shoved them half under the pillows and blankets to hide them like a toy he didn't want taken away…

If nothing else, Vanitas will likely recover.

When I eventually awoke the next morning, I walked into my lab to find Felix wide awake and already following along with my lab Dusks and Unversed, taking to the work like a duck to water.

It was refreshing to have a lab assistant with such gusto and a willingness to learn. Perhaps too much at times. 

“Vexen, why do we clean the beakers with this stuff and not that stuff?”

“What does this reading mean? And this one? And this one??”

“So, what does Xehanort pay you?” That last one caught me off guard. 

“What do you mean?” The budget?

“Well Vanitas isn’t getting paid. And Saix isn't getting paid either. And while I think I know what Vanitas is after in the group, I figured with all the super cool work you do, you’re actually getting something out of all this.” Setting down some papers, “So what are you getting out of it?”

“The opportunity to research freely. The replicas are my pride and joy, the subject of all my research.” This is just like when Luxord queried me in the Caribbean. I readied myself with my defenses…

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Felix just did a little hop, “Whatcha looking forward to fixing the most when they get working?”

“Hm?” Fixing…?

“Cause I'm just guessing here but I bet they’d be great for people with pretty severe injuries, right? Like if someone was paraplegic or something, a replica body, or even just parts of one would be amazing for them, right?”

Ah. Right. I hadn’t thought about those lofty ideals in… so long.

“There’s a whole six people in Radiant Garden in iron lungs, I bet they could use one too, right?!” And Felix hopped up on to the table, overly excited, practically buzzing like a bee, “And those people that don’t fit in their bodies! Could replicas help them out?! Or would that be like, way further down the line kinda stuff?”

“What do you mean by 'don't fit?’”

“Vanitas told me one day that some people aren't lucky and don't fit in their bodies and can’t just transform like me to fit it.” 

I think they might be talking about- wait what, “What do you mean by transform like me?”

Felix hopped off the table, mid hop his body started melting again, but this time into what was clearly Vanitas. He looked at me with a wildly incorrect image of Vanitas smiling and waving and about to tell me something probably nice when the warning alarm of my nightmares blares. Shriek, shrill and the last words Felix spitting out, “Error! INT_ERR_ 3: COMP_ORG_FAILURE! Shutting down.” Before melting back into an even smaller younger dying child and collapsing into the floor. Undoubtedly breaking their nose on impact.

Time to stop putting that off, it is officially now an emergency.

Picking him off the floor I rushed to the operating room. Muttering a foolish prayer, “Please don't be hijacking your VMU, please please don't be hijacking your VMU!”

I was worse than I could have ever imagined. He was hijacking BOTH the VMU and VFC! Directly! It took everything within me not to cry from pure frustration.

It's been two whole days since Vanitas and Felix had to go into Vexen’s. I’ve robbed so many labs and grocery marts of all sorts of vitamins and minerals it's kind of embarrassing. Xion had to start joining in. What the heck had those two idiots done now? We’re losing our vacation days on these morons…

For some reason Felix was the size of an elementary kid when I made my first delivery. Also, he was literally strapped to a hospital chair with so many bags of drips on him, he could barely wave hello to me, “Hi Rikkkkkuplica!!!!”

“Hi Feeeeeelix…” No doubt grimacing, “Uh…why so…one with your hospital...chair?”

“I don’t like being idle and I wanted to help Vexen but Vexen said it was starting to get ‘very distressing’ and making him upset and I wasn't resting and had to so he did this, well had the Dusks do it I asked for it not to be a bed cause me and Vanitas haven't gotten to really try sleeping on a good bed yet and I wanted to wait for a good one with him and now I’m here.”

“Run on sentences much?” Do Sora’s even have the capacity to talk like normal people? Likely not.

“I am very lonely. :(”

How the hell did he-?! Never mind. “...Don't do that again. I’ll send in Xion later.”

“Thanks Rikuplicaaaa!” If his arms were free, he’d no doubt toss them in the air, “I’m so happy you visited!!” As it were he just wiggled and lifted his hands. Just the lamest.

“Only because my master forced me to.” There was a very loud scream from Vexen down the lab, pissed beyond belief, screaming something about hotfixes, “What did you do?”

“Something about gross negligence and abusing firmware.” Felix might have shrugged, “Did you even know we have an EULA?”

“Is that why you look like you haven't eaten in…ever?” Just looking at him makes me feel hungry. 

“Clever, but I'll never admit to breaking something I totally didn’t break.” He totally did. Sora’s are all such terrible lairs, aren't they? “That aside, can you visit Vanitas too? I can’t visit him, and really wanna know how he’s doing.”

Rolling my eyes, “Fine.” I leave the room, to the next one not five feet away, and poke my head in. Still unconscious, but now when I look at Vanitas, I see him in all his edgy Sora recolor ‘glory’.

Back to Felix, “He’s fine-”

“HORRAYYYY!!” Squirming against the restraints more, “Thank you thanks!!!! Wanna do anything else while you're here?? We can play a game or something!!”

“I’m leaving.” Slamming the door as hard as I can. 

Though there was little anyone could do for Vanitas, I did take the chance to make a few checkups on both him and his student. Felix was terribly malnourished but that was most definitely from the abuse of his systems. Just thinking about it burns a bit, for it’s both a clever way to do transformations and also horribly inefficient and taxing on the hardware. If he had told me about it sooner, I could have made a better workaround!

Unfortunately, my musing had wasted too much time, and Vanitas awoke mid operation. So far, no Replica housing a heart, that had a body prior, can stay entirely unconscious when accessing their replica bodies console logs. Even while under heavy sedation. I really need to sit down and figure that issue out one day.

Vanitas slurred, holding his head, “What the…?” Then looking at me weirdly, before looking away and whispering. “Prize pod.” An Unversed? Then looking around, “Where… why can't I make-?”

“I have temporarily disabled your ability to make Unversed.” It's a hack solution that won't last if he forces it, “I know you have those running around somewhere, call for one instead.”

Lurching up, Vanitas snorts a bit, before building up to a laugh, then avalanching into a meltdown that might be somewhere between a scream and a laugh for a full unbroken minute. Horribly awkward. Just as suddenly he stopped. And then snapped his fingers.

An Unversed I'm fairly sure I had seen before, I believe it was called a Ringer, appears. Only this time it was shades of purple. Vanitas drew it close, and then rested his forehead on it, clearly begging for something in a whisper. The pot shaped entity seems to attempt a nod.

“What are you doing…?” The pot tipped over, and out fell a pile of lemons.

“Never in my life have I craved food, let alone a godforsaken lemon.” I couldn't stop him before he took a huge bite out of the still in the peel fruit. He seemed unaffected by the sour, which no doubt that lemon was, it looked like a textbook perfect lemon. Extremely fragrant. Where’d that Unversed get those from?

Did it create them? No, there’s no way. Unless-

I had to shake my head to get back on topic. It’s been days without sleep for me. “Uh…Well I… that’s by design. Instead of loud warnings, I have them manifest as specific food cravings. You need magnesium.” He’s not going to remember any of this. At least I managed to get the full read out during that. I turn up his sedation slightly so he’ll fall back asleep.

Before I cut the connection, Vanitas says, “Squeaky is broken then. He hears the warnings as words. Go fix him.” And extremely weakly, “Please…” Then he falls forward unconscious again. 

I find myself thinking too long and hard about that last word. Clearly nothing unusual. He wants his things working after all. I’m considered his superior and can fix that issue so he would need to ask politely. That's all.

Repairs at my lab are normally free because each one is an opportunity for more research data. But I took the extra unbitten lemons as payment anyways.

I really must ask him when he awakes, the lemonade they made was sublime. Somehow, they perfectly replicate the taste of the lemons from my mother’s tree.

Xemnas made me visit the both of them every time I made a drop off. I was forced to see Felix on a few hours by a few hours basis and see him grow nearly back to full height over those two days. Kinda cool if it wasn’t so freaky and Sora’s stupid gibbering face the entire time. Saying nonsense like, “Ok, it’s bedtime, I'm going to go talk to Chadley.” Then conk out instantly. Who’s Chadley? If the doc’s to be believed, no one.

Not helped at all cause he still looked like a bag of bones. I felt the need to check his pulse every time because he looked like he might have finally died. Only to be awake half the time and giggle about it. Eugh.

Meanwhile Vexen’s been clearly in the throes of some sort of dilemma. I’d never seen him look so depressed. He still didn’t stop working. But he’d take strange pauses. Weird looks. Ugh, adults. Maybe something Felix said got under his skin somehow. He randomly let me have a cup of lemonade. It was good but really…faded? Vexen said I need to try eating more foods to describe them better. Ugh, jerk.

I was so happy when Vanitas woke up, it meant I could finally leave and go back to enjoying what was left of my vacation.

And then of course. Of Course. Xemnas went back on his word.

As I work to analyze the latest readings from my two patients, A corridor opens behind me, “Where is he?” It’s Master Xehanort’s voice. It takes everything in me to put my instruments down carefully and not drop them all as I flinched.

“Good… afternoon Master Xehanort,” turning to face the very old, very clearly irritated man, “Who are you looking for?”

“Vanitas.” He huffs, “Why was I not called for when he inevitably ripped himself apart?”

“I…was under the impression that I was the one who had the responsibility to repair the replicas and didn’t want to bother you on your day’s off.” I pointed to Vanitas’s room, “He’s down the hall room three.”

The master starts walking, “Oh? You’ve been repairing him?” He’s snide and obviously in disbelief.

“Well as much as I-”

“HI MR MASTER^2 XEHANORT!!” Felix screams from room two, door open for lord knows what reason. Perhaps just to end us all, “Look! Look! We’re matching now!!” 

Xehanort looks. Really looks. Squints hard as if he can’t believe his own eyes. Turns to me calmly and says in a perfectly level voice, “Vexen; explain to me what I'm looking at?” Vaguely gesturing to the boy strapped to the chair. 

“Ah, Felix Sir. He was also…injured.”

Xehanort looks again, “I see, and why is he so…malnourished? Has Vanitas taken his eating privileges away?”

“Not that I've been made aware, Felix claims he’s been eating but we have eyes and can see that’s not been the case.”

Felix gasps, “Vexen! Don’t lie to Mr. Xehanort, I've totally eaten.”

“Yes, you have. Since you got back!” Turning to Xehanort, “Don’t get him started on his diet, it’s the worst.”

The master still baffled, “And the IV’s?”

“Dehydrated. Once his fluid levels are passable, I can swiftly handle his nutrition issues.”

“... and the restraints?” 

“I never thought ‘too helpful’ could ever be a detriment, but I've been proven wrong.”

Still seemingly baffled, he took a second to compose himself, before continuing his march to Vanitas’s room. Opening the door, he seemed a bit shocked, “My word…you actually get him into some sort of shape.”

“It was not easy.” 

“On the contrary, in the future just slaughter as many Unversed as you can. That will reconstitute his body.” Chuckling he placed his hand over where Vanitas’s heart would be. After a moment, “Far too much light. You’ve been letting people visit him, allowing light to take root. That was your only mistake.” 

What? Without thinking I argue, “That's preposterous! Vanitas hardly has any light in him to begin with. That’s barely enough light to fill a thimble. I’m genuinely shocked he’s not a Heartless already.”

Xehanort glances back at me with his signature look of superiority before turning back to Vanitas and explaining, “For most people, yes, light is essential. But Vanitas is unique, he is or at least should be pure darkness. For him light is a poison, an outside force looking to destroy him from the inside.” 

Xehanort closed his eyes before glowing with a bright light hue, as I watched Vanitas start to return to a stable form. Looking at my diagnostics machine, what the master had said was true. Vanitas’s heart was now pure darkness and his vitals began returning to normal.

“He will awaken soon.” Xehanort went to make his exit but…

“Wait, Sir." Hesitantly, "Correct me if I am mistaken, but wasn’t... Vanitas meant to absorb another of pure light?”

“Yes, he was and still might, why?”

“Would that not kill him? If not immediately then within days of the merger; his body would rip itself apart?”

Xehanort looked back at me with a smile, “Precisely. Very good Vexen, tell anyone and you will be exterminated.” Without another word he left. Leaving me alone with yet another doomed child.

Today when I walked into Vexen’s lab, he directed me to some doors with rooms filled with bottles. When I blinked the bottles were all empty, it was three hours later, I felt and looked better, and then Vexen shoved me out the door, “Go find someone else to help today!!”

Okay! Can do!

I went to the breakroom first, and Saix said, “Your mission today…is to find someone else to help today.”

Alright! I started looking around. I couldn’t find Ansem. Rikuplica ran away the second he laid eyes on me. Larxene made me get her some bottle of “Jack” from the kitchen, then made me go help someone else. “Cause that’s the way you get an S on this mission.” She said while flicking my nose.

If that’s the case, I better just go do everyone a favor who needs it right?

Young just told me to ‘duck off and dye’. When I asked what he wanted me to dye he just said I wasn’t very funny and walked off. Xigbar asked me to destroy any copies I had of my ‘Xigbar steals munny report’. Since I have no files called ‘Xigbar steals munny report’, I just told him I did and added it as another infraction to my ‘101+_Times_Xigbar_Stole_Munny_and_Tried_To_Hide_It_Report’. Marluxia asked me to help him move some mulch in his garden, Xemnas was too busy and walked past into a corridor before I could say anything, Demyx threatened to talk to me about music again but Luxord bailed me out by making me pick up some cards he dropped.

Honestly, I was on a roll, when I passed by the library. 

Huh. What to do. Vanitas says not to do anything with Master Xehanort. But Master Xehanort did say I could visit on a not so busy day. The vacation still hasn’t stopped, that wolf must be a heck of a fight, so does that mean it’s not busy?

Poking my head into the door, I guess the worst that could happen is he says it's no good, “Hello? Mr. Master Xehanort?”

The Master glares from just over his book, snapping it shut, “Whatever do you think you’re doing? Bothering me during such an unprecedented time?” He looks at me over, “I see you are no longer falling to pieces.”

“Oh, I wanted to know if you needed anything done, like a chore or something.” Laughing, “And thank you for noticing!”

“Are you…volunteering?” He squints at me, like he doesn’t trust me, “What is your game, boy?”

“I don’t understand.” Scratching my chin, “I thought you might want me to sort books or make more tea like last time.”

“What is it that you are really after?” His voice was almost a hiss.

“Uh, Vanitas is still out, so I want to help Vexen but Vexen said he was good and told me to help someone else, so I went to Saix cause he gives missions and that like helping and he was like ‘Your mission today is helping someone else’ so I went to help Larxene who said I needed to help more people than just her to get an S on the mission which I don’t know what that means but I think it’s good so I helped out more people and I passed your library and thought ‘oh hay what if Mr. Master Xehanort needs help?’ And that is why I am here.”

“Did you even breathe during that?”

“No. Do I even have to breathe?” I decided to stop breathing for a bit.

Xehanort pauses, before suddenly breaking out in a chuckle, “Ah, forgive me. It has been too long since I last dealt with one such as you.” Calming to a hum, “Over ten years ago…”

He points to the tea pot, “Go on. Make yourself useful and put on a pot. Let me think, I may have some use for you…”

As I figured, after tea (which I NAILED by the way), I was set to sort books and put them on the shelves in the right places. Lots of books about specific world history, or politics. Big stuff. Somewhere along the way I decided to start breathing again.

One title caught my eye, ‘Ab igne ignem: A Compendium of All Matters and Magicks related to Fire.’ Before I put it on the shelf, I read it silently. With my hands and eyes working it didn’t take me too long. Then I put it on the shelf.

“What was that noise?”

“Reading a book.” It occurred to me, “Is that okay?”

“Hm. Fine. Don’t shirk your work.”

“I won’t.” Moving on to the next book in the pile, another big political book. A question itched at the back of my head as I put it away, “Um, Ma. Xehanort, is it okay if I asked a few questions?”

Rolling his eyes, “No more than two per book.” Muttering to himself, “As if you actually read anything.”

“What’s Firagun? The book said it was 4th tier fire magic, but I thought that was Firaja.”

He seemed a bit surprised but just shrugged it off and answered, “Ah, that book is quite old. Helpful, but old enough that it uses several outdated terms. Most of my spell book collection is like that.” He turns from his seat to look at me, “You actually read parts of it?”

“Yep, it was interesting.” For a while I went on without seeing another interesting book. They came from the pile, ‘Spells for the Scrupulous Scholar.’ Seems neat enough, I read it.

This time I read it right from the pile right in front of Xehanort who spits out his tea, “What are you doing?!”

“Reading the book?” Finally done carding through the pages. That’s a LOT of spells!

“These tomes are old and fragile! Old enough to be called tomes! You cannot treat them like that!” Getting up and snatching the boo- tome from my hand, examining it, “It had better not be damaged or it will be your head.” After a brief inspection he sets the book down, glaring at me, “Are you so foolish to believe that could ever constitute reading a book? Not even a skim, you just possibly damaged the book pointlessly.”

“But… I did read it?” I looked at my shoes, “I wanted to ask about the spell on page 442, is it pronounced Leee bra like zebra, or like lie-brah?”

A blink, Xehanort flips to the page, before staring at me funny, “Libra. Tell me its old form of incantation.”

“Whisper to me, specters of revenge. Between God and me alone. Libra.” I cast the spell, just to be sure. Xehanort, who was on the other side of the room, strikes me with amazing speed, but not before a wall of strange information hits my head first. 

My head was pounding, Xehanort might be stronger than Vanitas!

The old man can’t stop looking at me funny, “How on earth did you manage to accomplish this?”

Honestly, “I dunno. I’m not human?” That's my best guess.

“That again. Hm. Finish your task then leave. I’m not in the mood to talk today, though if you see any more books, and you promise to be careful with them, then you may read them. In the future I may call upon you for the use of this skill.” He returns to his chair and book.

“Okay.” Putting the rest of the books away, without seeing anything I really wanted to read. Libra gave me plenty to think about.

Books all done, I bow to Xehanort as I leave. He nods. That was fruitful! I should get an S for sure, considering I helped the big boss!

As it was getting later in the day, I headed back down the hall to the breakroom. I hope Saix will be happy with my work! When just around the corner I see…

Huh? I stop in my tracks. Who is she? The girl has black hair and blue eyes, she’s got the coat so she’s one of us. She waves to me, for some reason my heart skips a beat, and that is a really scary sensation. Why is it considered a good thing? “Good evening, Felix. Glad to see you're doing a lot better.”

Um. “Hello. …Have we met before?”

She looks a bit hurt, flinching back a bit, “Felix it’s me, Xion.”

“Oh. OH! Hello Xion!” Waving at her excitedly, “I’m sorry! Today you don’t look like anyone I recognize.” Not even Ava has her recognized.

“That’s odd. What did you see me as the other day?”

“Roxas.” It was very hard to not call her that, “But today you look like…I dunno. If it’s someone I don't recognize.” Thinking about it for a moment, “Then I guess it’s you, right?”

She laughs. I get the idea she’s really happy, or really really upset, cause she tears up a bit, but given that it's a big big smile, I’m hoping it's a good thing. “Maybe.” She suddenly gets this look on her face, very serious. She glances around, “So. Felix. How’s… how's your time in the organization treating you?”

“Pretty good really. No one has stolen my ability to see colors yet so I can’t complain.”

“Yeah. True.” She’s really trying to school the shock and concern off her face, “Um, what do you think about all the secrets?”

“It’s kinda lame.” They’re annoying.

“I know right!” Suddenly pumped up, “I think it's a bit…” Calming down and looking around again, “I think it's really unfair to keep us in the dark like this.”

Nodding, “I don’t really understand why things are secrets most of the time.”

“Yeah. I'm…sorta looking into a few.” She suddenly gets a bit more serious again, “Felix I know Vanitas gets sent on information gathering missions sometimes, and he trains you. Do you have any…tips for a person like me just starting off? I heard my next mission is going to involve it, you know.”

“Oh sure,” I have tips but they are not from Vanitas, “Always take advantage of your nature and have a backup. Leave it with someone you trust.” Wait. Xion’s not data. That might not work, “Also it always helps to have plausible deniability.”

Xion tilts her head, “Okay. I’ll… try? Thanks Felix. You’re… A bit more dependable than I thought you’d be.”

“I aim to please!” Yes! Another tick for my mission!

She walked away, with a wave over her shoulder, before suddenly turning back, “You know what, you don’t have anything going on right?”

“I’m pretty sure I just have to turn in my mission.”

“You had a mission?” She then smiled, “I’m sure you can turn it in tomorrow. Saix already went to bed for today.” Oh shoot, that can happen? “Why not hang out with me for a bit? Get some… icing on the cake?”

I haven't had cake icing yet! Vanitas say’s I can’t have his wedding cakes if I'm going to ‘be weird about it.’ “Sounds good to me, lead the way!”

She lifted her hand, before, “Uh, do you have a coat?”

“Nope. Should I borrow Vanitas’s?”

“Hold on, Vexen's got plenty of spares to borrow.”

Chapter Text

Xion said to cover my eyes, and as we walked through the dark tunnel, trying not to trip on the coat that was a little too long for me, I couldn't help but giggle, “Where we goin’? Where we goin’?” 

She laughed back, “Hold on! We’re almost there.”

“Can I have a hint?”

“It’s very beautiful!”

“Augh, so unfair! All worlds are beautiful.”

Xion snorted very hard, clearly incredulous, “All worlds? Even the Graveyard?”

Clasping my hands together, eyes still shut tight, “Have you ever seen skies so clear? With views that let you see into the deeper parts of space? You can’t appreciate the majesty of the sheer depth of the universe on other worlds as easily. Especially at night! Plus, I think the rocks have interesting formations and the keys, while gloomy sure, when they catch the light juuuust right… ahhh so pretty!”

“You’ve…put some thought into this.” I hear ruffling, a shrug, “Maybe Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Then again, I never gave the Graveyard a chance. No time really.”

“Aim for sunset, I think that’s when it’s at its best!”

A suck of air, and an extra squealy laugh, “Sunsets you say?! We’re in the perfect world for that!”

Oh, another hint! Twilight- no wait not data. Not allowed either. Hm, Agrabah? Maybe one of the worlds I don't know about, like Atlantica? Water and sunset’s sound nice. We finally step out of the corridor. With my eyes still covered, all I can tell is that it’s…clammy. I think Vanitas called this clammy. A drop of water falls on my head. It must be raining.

“Sorry about the smell. You can uncover your eyes now!”

“What’s a smell again? I forgot.” Removing my arms to see Xion with this fascinatingly uncomfortable expression. Like a dying smile, but gosh she’s giving it her all. “Are you okay?”

“I just…” Shaking that expression off to a more honest joyful one, “I just…really don’t know how to explain it, but if it's not bothering you then it’s all good!”

Taking a look around, it seems we’re underground, the lighting is really really dim, I can't hardly see anything. “Where are we?”

I can barely make out Xion’s silhouette, excitedly bouncing a bit, “Well technically we’re not there yet, because we’re not ready. We gotta blend in, you know full on real disguises!”

Leaping with joy, “Vanitas taught me this! With world magic, yeah?!”

She belly laughs, “That's a bit overkill! We just need a change of clothes really.” She started walking down the hall, grabbing my hand as she went, “I’ve got a small secret hideaway down here.”

“What’s wrong with dark spooky cult jackets?” I was unable to stop the giggle halfway through ‘spooky’. Even in the dim lighting I could tell she was giving me a look. 

“Ohhhh I dunno. Maybe it’s because they're not a part of our cult.” The smile still clear in her voice, “Or you know, floor length coats meant to hide your identity in a residential is just a bit odd, isn’t it?” 

The entire way down the hall we were laughing and joking and shoving a little bit, when she suddenly perked up, “Ah, here we go!” Approaching a weird sudden 90-degree turn. And down that hall a little bit was another turn that led to a tiny tiny hall that led to a spooky spooky door. None of these halls has lights at all, except for directly in front of this dusty dirty door.

A bare bulb blinking, ready to give out at any moment, “Xion you sure you’re not planning on murdering me?”

“What?! Why would I-?” She took a moment to face the scene and then in realization, “Ohhhh… yeah. Uh the optics don’t look great but I pinky swear I would never.” Offering said pinky.

A rush went through me, “Pinky swear!” I hadn’t done anything like that since I left home! This is great, after all that's been going on, I needed a day like this. 

She approached the door and summoned her keyblade, “I think the real janitors lost the key ages ago.” Giving it a tap and walking in. “It’s small, but I've made it my home away from home.”

Small is correct, being about four feet wide and eight feet deep. It’s a little bigger than Vanitas’s room, though the roof is much higher and much less rocky. Gray cement walls, shelves that circled the whole room. On the right shelves, ancient and rusting equipment had been shoved as packed as it could get. On all the other shelves were interesting objects, books, clothes folded in neat piles in boxes. The floor topped off with a super large bean bag chair, a small folding table, and normal no beans chair.

Honestly, it’s still very sparse, but I could tell that work had gone into the room to make it nicer. The ceiling and corners looked patched up, a very new looking bottle of bug killer sat amongst the old maintenance equipment, and as Xion walked in she went right for a few candles to light them. There was a lightbulb in here, with bright white light, so I don’t think it was for light.

Xion pulled off her coat and hung it on a hook nearby.  “Join me, Felix.” She started digging into some of her boxes, “Take a load off, while I look for a cute outfit for me and a change of clothes for you.” Her current clothes were now just a black short sleeve top and plain black pants. What's wrong with that?

“Aww is my normal jacket still too cult-like?” Xion barks a laugh and tries desperately to stay focused on the task at hand.

Tip toeing past her, noisily lifting my neck up to look in her boxes as I passed by, I went to the strange bean bag chair. I’ve never experienced it personally… I sat on it, maybe too hard or something cause I basically mush down the beans before they spring back and push me off. Oops.

Just as I managed to figure out the trick, namely aim for the center, she pulls out a set of pretty purple clothes. “Now for you…” She looks a bit unsure, scratching her chin.

“Something wrong? We’re about the same height.”

“I’m not worried about that; it’s just I have lots of pretty girl clothes.” OH, I GOT A JOKE FOR THIS!

“Why can’t I wear girl’s clothes again? Is it illegal?” Lounging on my stomach as I got to her to laugh again, “Are they going to tackle me and drag me to jail for my heels?” Lifting up my previously hidden feet, where I had changed my shoes to a very tall pair of black heels.

Xion looked shocked as she laughed, “Where did you even get those?!” Pouting a bit, “I'm almost jealous.”

“Magic.” Sticking my tongue out, “Do you want them? I’m actually way too scared to walk in them.”

“Gimmie!” Leaping up and snatching the shoes. There was a lot of laughter before she chucked a big blue blanket at me, “Alright. Cover up and look away bucko.”

I did so. I really thought about changing my clothes fully while waiting, but I wanted to see what she’d pick for me.

“Uh… I'm dressed now, you can come out. I've got some options.” Wiggling my way out, I see her in a cute ensemble I think I saw the floor 86 Avatar wear once, and on the folding table there are a few outfits.

“Weren’t you just wearing that?” Pointing to the plain black top and pants.

She blushes, “I really don’t have a lot of standard clothes so I thought I'd have these pieces here…” Looking embarrassed.

The other ones were a dark purple top with shimmery scales and lavender bottoms and the other was a punch to the gut.

Yellow and sunny. The waist most certainly under 57 inches. A small orange belt.

Oh. Oh, this place is Twilight Town- no. No, maybe it’s not. I look away for a moment and make sure my eyes are dry. No need to worry Xion over something that doesn't matter. It should be exciting! What are the odds that she just happened to pick up the same dress, after all this time? It could happen.

“The dress? Well, I figure if you wear the pants under it and pretend it's just a very long top.” She’s scratching the back of her head, “I don’t know if that’s really gunna work through. People are going to know it's more of a dress…”

“Can’t trick the cops with that one.” My smile didn’t come out right, did it? “I’ll just take the plain top and pants.” Come on Felix, just get over it, you’ll be fine.

She nodded, “Don’t sweat it too much, we can go to the store and get you your own stuff.” She seems to have realized something then quickly says, “Hey, why don’t you try the other top? This one…well, I mean I wore it today and I know we're not going to be out that loooong but like…it’s maybe, like, that’s a little gross, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” I wouldn't know.

Xion had to help me, I didn’t really know how putting on clothes works the normal way. I can’t stop fiddling with the shimmery sequins. She let me keep my jacket and shoes. As we leave her hideaway, I'm actually so glad for the slight change in clothes. I think if I went out in my normal stuff… I don't know. Maybe someone would make fun of me. Wait, why would I care? Ugh, shushhh Felix. Things are gunna be fine.

“Come on, the end of the tunnels is really close by!” Xion started to run, and I chased after. The tunnels were a twisty turny confusing mess until we entered an area that kicked recognition in so hard it smacked me in the face. Well, it distracted me so hard I flew straight through a wall with my face.

“Felix?!” She came up to me worried.

I pulled my head out of the wall, “I'm fine, I’m fine!” Waving her away as I looked around. This… this was the spot I got a message from Tron. The words nearly fell out of my mouth, but I could vividly feel Vanitas’s distrust. He wouldn’t want me to tell her.

After all, she might tell the others.

“Well if you’re sure you're okay.” Pointing down the hall, “This’ll lead right into the tram common, it’s really busy with people.” Xion gave a very critical look, while whipping bits of dry wall of my face and hair “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“What, is there a cut on my face?” Casting a quick Esuna, “I’m good.” 

She finished her fussing, started walking again, and I followed. Light started filtering on though the end of the hallway, familiar in its red, but not in its radiance. Dancing across the puddles and grime in a way I'd not seen before. Glimmering delicately…

“Okay Xion full disclosure…I- I might have a little freak out.” I couldn’t stop the strange shutter and the question, “Are…are you sure it’s okay for me to go out there? I’m not exactly…high fidelity. Or complex.” Thinking about it now, what’s the busiest world I've been to? Wonderland?

Xion… well she tilts her head with an expression I can’t read, maybe mad? But not at me? I think? Then says, “Uh, it won’t matter? What does high fidelity or... I’m sorry, did you say complex?”

“I am just a data being.” For some reason finding myself pulling my hand close and biting my finger a bit, “And a lesser data being at that.” I won’t fit in. I’m not pretty like them.

“Yeah, someone sure gave you a complex.” Xion muttered under her breath. “Don’t worry about it. You’re with me. Everyone is going to be dealing with their own thing. We’re just here for ice cream and maybe a pop in at the shop. You won’t stand out at all.” For some reason she grabs my hands, “Just ice cream. Shop. Leave. Okay?”

“O-okay. Okay. I can do this.” Shaking her hands, “I can do this!”

She smiles, “I believe in you.” Letting go, and very slowly we reach outside.

As the Tram Common fills my eyes, part of me leaps in excitement, it’s still very recognizable, yet there's so many differences! Some buildings remain untouched yet in the unimaginable detail of reality, where others have been painted somewhat, cleaned, or most noticeably to my right, gone. The armor shop got destroyed and replaced, I guess.

With a #VALUE, where a man in a posh hat greeted people. Shoot, uh, “Xion what’s the word for like a food getting place? But it's fancy.”

“Restaurant?” She sees where I'm looking, “Ugh, I know right? The Grand Bistrot smells- er the food there sure looks good. The prices aren't even bad but it’s always so busy and the wait makes it unreasonable as an option sadly. Maybe next time.”

Next time. The part that didn’t leap with joy, a ball of anxiety coiled further in despair. Everywhere we looked there was more detail, more objects, more people. Tons of people. More than a hundred easily. For every five people, one would stick out to me. I would remember them from the simulations. Their judgmental looks. There unquiet whispers and sneers as I walked by. 

The other four would silently be logged, scanned from tip to toe, and compiled away to steal their appearance and faces in the future. Is that how Ava looked at people? I don’t want to look at them that way! I nervously tried to look away but then I'd see five more.

“...You know, let’s shop first.” Xion all but dragged me behind her as she fearlessly charged through the crowd. They didn’t notice her. They didn’t notice me. I am not lit like the eternal noonday sun, my hand is in hers and it’s not that different. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. “This store is great! It’s got the clothes people don’t want anymore and for great prices!”

Gag me with a key shaped spoon, it’s the same thrift shop- it’s FINE. You’re FINE. Stop making a big deal out of this!

We walk in, there’s even the same bell and Xion walks up happily to the lady who was the SAME in the simulator with the same face and voice, “Why hello there little Xion! Bit late today huh?”

“I was showing my friend around town.” Please don’t. “Felix, come over here!”

Sheepishly I approached, a bit nervous to make eye contact, but could still see the old lady smile, “Why hello there, you must be related to that Sora boy, anitcha?”

At that, I think me and Xion both flinched. Xion waving her arms sputtering but I played it off, “Yep. How could you tell? Our similar taste in bright yellow footwear?”

The old lady laughed, “A little. Though I have a small lil ol’ question for you young man, that your brother wouldn’t answer.” What? What question wouldn’t Sora answer? Is she about to ask about keyblade stuff? “How do you get your hair like that? Six pounds of gel?”

You know. I always thought this was a weird question to be upset about. But I can feel my face fall into a pained grimace, a very unfun smile and the words, “Genetics.” Mirthlessly crawl out of my mouth. I’m sorry Sora. Your documented response is exactly how I feel about this. “I’m going to be asked that a lot aren't I?”

The old lady laughed, “I guess if you both say it then it must be true!” Slapped me on the back, and walked to the counter, “Haller if you two crazy kids need me!”

Whispering to Xion, in the relatively safety of the long rows of clothes, “...Did Roxas ever get that?”

“Not nearly as often as Sora.”

This should be fun but it isn’t. But I don't want to ruin this time for Xion. I don’t care that there's pressure building in my head, especially right behind my eyes. I can’t ruin this for Xion. I’m Fine.

We’re looking for clothes, for me! It’s fine. There are so many more than even the previous town had, so many colors and patterns! I curl my toes as hard as I can to remember that I'm not in my body right now. I'm in a replica, it’s not replicating me, it’s replicating Sora. So I have toes and can remove my jacket and I am not gross. It might be late in the day, but the store still has so many people in it. My body is not wrong. When I look in the mirror wearing the things Xion brings me, they look fine; they are just clothes on a body.

I'm not wrong being here.

When Xion brings me something, I don’t know if it looks good on me or Sora or anyone. The Avatars were unmatched in beauty and wore everything and nothing and anything in between. But I’m not an avatar I am clunky blocky Data-So

I am Felix. Take a deep breath. Just follow Xion’s lead… 

Xion hums and haws, asking so many questions that I don't understand. “Does this match my complexion?” What? N-no? You’re not purple. “Think this color is too much?” Too…red? How can it be too red? It's clothing that's red and supposed to be red right? Pressure keeps building. Don’t cry Felix. Please don’t cry and ruin her day. It’s just clothes.

She stands in front of the mirror, holding a deep green dress in front of her, “You don’t think people will say anything mean about it, do you?”

“No,” The words tumble out quietly and breathlessly and panicked, “But they’ll say it behind your back, loud enough that you can hear, how much they hate you and how you don't fit in.” I keep taking steps back, shaking and hiding between the piles so nobody can see me. Thoughts boil in my head, I don't want them to, I want them to stop. I want this to stop. But I hold my arms tight. Don’t. Ruin. This.

“Felix? What did you say?” Xion takes a second before letting out a deep sigh. Tossing the dress aside, “Felix. What’s wrong? I can’t help you if you don’t use your words.”

Trying to tell her I'm fine, because I am fine. Nothing is wrong, instead I just hiccup. And my face breaks out in that prickly feeling right before tears come out. It’s like I've reached some kind of limit. Even my ears are ringing now. What's wrong with me? There’s nothing wrong…

“F-Felix?” Xion gasps, takes a quick look side to side, but then drops to a whisper, “Felix what’s wrong? You’re shaking…!” She puts a hand on my head, “Is- is it the people? The noise?”

I don’t know. The room’s getting blurry cause I’m too stupid to keep my tears in anymore. 

Xion’s starting to panic too. Why can’t I do anything right? She suddenly pivots hard, “Um, I- I’m sorry-?”

“What’s goin’ on?” The old lady looks at me…! I started to wince away but then I realized… she was looking at me with sympathy, not with that disgusted look from before. “What’s going on young man?”

Croaking out, “What…what if…. What if my body fails me again?” I can't look at anybody anymore just crying head down, “I'm disgusting and wrong and everyone notices all over again?”

The beginning of something stuttering out of Xion starts but it's swiftly interrupted by the old lady again sleeping me on the shoulder, “I know exactly what you need.”

Huh? “You- You do?” I could finally muster the nerve to look up.

Instead of the stare that followed me throughout the simulated Twilight Town, it’s a full-blown grin with gusto to spare, “A full suit of armor!”

…What? A suit of… is there even any in the store? Like plate mail, like Eliminichan? Or chain or…what? Like a full suit made from protect chains or something? Does armor actually count as clothes? The Avatars did wear some, but wait Heartless wear armor but not clothes. Does that mean Heartless in armor are actually naked…what? What are we talking about armor? But…huh? My…my tears stopped? I’m so confused. 

Xion looks very cross, “That doesn’t seem very nice.”

“Some days clothes are fashion, but today’s not that day. Today they’re gunna shield you from the nonsense in your head.” Xion’s definitely mad now and about to say something but the old lady moves swiftly away, “Be right back, I know what you need.”

Right to my side Xion asks, “Are you okay? She didn’t hurt your feelings right?” Looking over to the door, “Do…do you wanna leave? I didn’t realize this was so upsetting for you.” She bows, “I'm genuinely, so so sorry! I would have never brought you here if I thought it was going to be a bad time.”

“You didn’t know? Funny thing, I didn't either.” My voice is for some reason still cracked and croaky, “But…is it okay if we stay just a bit longer? I… I wanna know what she thinks I need.”

“Seriously, if she says something that’s rude and hurts your feelings, mark my words, I will find another store.” Xion was glaring towards where the lady walked off. I saw her have to despawn her weapon before it could materialize, crossing her arms tightly. This is a strange moment; it feels almost like home again.

Man, Selphie would be having an absolutely field day in here, why her and Xion would get along like a house on fire. “Xion, why is that there’s so many old sayings about thinking people would get along and then compares them to bad things like fires?”

She starts to answer, probably with confusion given that face, but the old lady beat her to it again, “Cause we old people who came up with them are weird. Now try these on!” 

I don’t have any feelings about the baggy pants or long no sleeves shirt she gave me. Walking out of the changing room I don’t feel very much better about any of it, then she walked right up, “Now we add these touches and voila!” There’s something around my shoulders and something on top of my head. 

Instinctively my eyes shut, Oh what if it's worse??

But what if it’s better? Peeking a little bit.

At first all I saw was hat brim. I look a little further up and see the old lady is beaming and grinning clearly proud of her work, and Xion is looking at it curiously. Good curiously. That's… I look in the mirror.

A very wide brim hat, very wide, so wide and curved even now my face is mostly tucked under it and the jacket-

I couldn't help but smile and rub the soft fabric between my fingers. I never thought I'd see the black, gold lined jacket Eliminichan pilfered all that time ago ever again. I want to cry but all happy this time!

“As you can see,” The old lady broke into a sales voice, “This here hat gives a mysterious and cool air,” Xion snorted in the background, “And with that wide brim you can block out anyone you don’t wanna see, even if that’s just you.”

 Then the lady took on this extreme air, “And the jacket…I cannot believe that IDIOT would just toss out a perfectly good wool jacket like that! It’s lined with SILK for Christ’s sake! With some gloves and wearing it with the sleeves on you’ve got lots of coverage, and I figured you’d want a more striking difference in silhouette compared to your brother.” She then clapped her hands and looked to the corner a bit guilty, “Nooow, I won’t lie. There is a small issue with the jacket.” Holding her hands with her fingers pinched.

“Huh?” Still admiring the jacket’s texture, “What’s wrong? It’s perfect….”

“Well from that response alone I know you too are off worlders, you will have no issues from me on that, but I offer this jacket because you two can go to places where you can actually wear the damn thing. I couldn’t sell this even for 5 munny cause eeeeveryone knew who it used to belong to. Some big shot gambler guy.”

“Wasn’t he popular?” Xion scratched her head again, “You’d think he’d still have fans.”

“You’d think! But no.” The old lady shaking her head. She then glances at the clock, double taking as she realized, “Oh dear it’s getting late! I hate to rush you too but the store closes in thirty minutes.”

My hand already has munny clenched, “Where do I buy?!” Xion full on barks a belly laugh, nearly bowling over. Oh no she hates it! I frown a bit, “Aww, you don’t like it?”

“No no! I like your enthusiasm!” Whipping a tear from her own eye, “The casher is over this way!” Giggling and pushing me over, “if we hurry, we can still get ice cream and a good view!”

One set of clothes purchased later, and out of that store, a huge part of me feels really embarrassed. Like full face burning in embarrassment. Why’d I act like that? I don’t have to buy clothes; I can look at them and copy them. In this replica body, I'm just as if not prettier than the Avatars. These are my toes, not Sora’s. 

“Hey, the candy shop is going to close soon, I'll go on ahead and get some ice cream before that, okay?” And Xion charged again with full confidence out there. I think if it were earlier in the day, I'd be more worried.

But now the Tram Common was emptying out. There were slowly but surely less and less people. Less noise. Less huge groups of people coming and going from the bee infestation zone. Even the bistro seemed to be winding down, the man in the posh hat laughing about a good day's work.

Three ducklings darted out from what had been the accessory shop, it was the real trio of triplets. I looked away quickly. They're not my friends, I don't know them. I never knew them.

Footsteps suddenly get very loud and close to me, and I can't help but peek up, and I'm startled a bit as Pence says, “Hey, love your outfit. Mind if I take a photo?”

You don’t know him, you never knew him, is this a normal question to ask? Uh, I don't know and I don't care about pictures, I'm tired of being upset today. I look up and say, “Sure.” The Fake Pence was nice to me, maybe the real Pence will be too?

This time he blinks startled, “Sora?” But squints funny. 

I can’t help but frown, he knows that was wrong, “No.”

“Sorry about that.” By this point Xion has returned, staring at him very nervously. “Oh uh, your friend’s wearing some cool clothes, and agreed to let me take a photo.” Xion nods and takes a small step back. Pence got his camera ready, got an angle he was happy with, and snap! The photo is taken. 

And even from this distance I can see something wrong with it. When he looks, he’s annoyed, “Aw man, I think this paper was defective.”

“Why what’s up?” He offers us the photo and we huddle around it.

I look fine. It’s kinda fun to see myself looking so different in a strange context. But Xion looks like a mess, her clothes are untouched by this massive blur that covers her skin. I blink and for a frame it looks like her, but the next not, and as I keep looking, I don't know.

Pence shrugs, “Sorry that was the last one I had loaded up. Sometimes picture paper can have defects like that. First someone steals my two favorite posters and now this. It is not my day.”

Xion shrugs as well, “It’s all good. We have to go anyways.” I get up and follow her down the rapidly emptying streets. As the gorgeous sunset grows more red and very dim, it nearly threatens to sink below the horizon. But it never does.

‘Go find Felix’ blah blah blah, Xemnas is such a tool.

It should have been easy, but no. I couldn't find him. Looked and looked and looked till it was curfew and I still couldn’t find him.

Then I had to report it, “I don't know where he is Xemnas! I’ve checked the lab, I checked outside, I asked the Unversed and the weird creatures, they pointed me to like seven caves, I’m CONVINCED they were fucking with me, and nobody else can give me a clear idea of where he is!” The Unversed flipped me the bird regardless if they had enough fingers to, and the strange things Felix made kept pointing at the sky.

The man just glared at me. “Hm. A likely…story. Fine.” Making a dismissive hand gesture, “I will, let this go…tonight. But…tomorrow…if you… somehow do not find Felix again…I will have… ‘a chat’ with Xehanort about the possibility of… replacing you.”

“How is it my fault if he’s not on world?”

“Perhaps with Felix. He seems more… amicable.”

Prick.

“Oh we lucked out! No one’s there.” I ran up the stairs, Felix just behind me, “Come on! I gotta show you the best view in town!”

The best view was right from the Clock Tower itself. Around its face was a small walkable roof area. Just like old times I sat on the edge, lifting my legs over, and taking in the gorgeous sight. The rolling plains even at this hour were still fairly lit up. Patting the spot next to me, “Quickly! Before your ice cream melts!”

Felix took this as ‘leap onto here’, landing squarely on the spot with his big shoes and with his new hat and coat nearly tipped over as it messed with his balance some, “Eek! That’s high!” My heart raced as I thought he was gunna fall…but he never did. Instead opting to tilt further and further out, “Wooow! I think this is the tallest structure I've ever stood on!”

“Ok, let’s get you back on safer ground.” Yanking him from the back of his shirt to pull him down into a sitting position, “From experience I can tell you it’s not fun to fall from here.”

“Maybe one day.” No, maybe never is better. But he did finally sit down and actually gandered at the city. I’m glad he changed outfits; it was always a dream of mine to see Sora sitting here. If Felix were dressed normally, I think it might be a little upsetting. In like a disappointing way.

I bit into my ice cream with a bit too much ferocity. Stop thinking about those jerks and what they did. Enjoy the moment. 

Felix looked at the ice cream with an impressive amount of suspicion, “Ah yes. Sea Salt. We meet again.” Huh? He’s had it before? Then he whispers way too loudly, “Only this time I have taste and a real stomach; I WILL CONQUER YOU THIS TIME!!” His screaming ended with a loud CHOMP on the innocent dessert.

He paused.

I looked around a bit, finished what was left of mine, cleared my throat. Turned back, “So. How's the ice cream?”

He ripped it off with a very loud snap, I could see the wooden stick had been eaten into, “Very sharp. Lots of salt.” He crontched a bit and swallowed, “Hm. Hmmmmmm.” That twisted expression of intense thought…doesn’t bode well…

“Maybe try eating some…without the stick.”

He did so. Biting carefully around it. “Hm. Salt. Salt Salt.”

“But sweet right?”

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Is that what you like about it?” Holding the ice cream near my face.

As fast as I could steal a bite, “Uh Huh!” He laughs and then just offers me the rest of the stick. I can't help but pout, “You don't like it?”

“I don’t think I like this flavor. I’m sorry.” 

I had assumed since Roxas and I liked it Sora would like it too… Or maybe this is a Felix thing? Vexen did say he wasn’t eating right. And he said he can’t smell. Maybe his taste buds are off?

Taking the rest, “Well better you give me what's left instead of wasting it.”

“Can I have the stick back when you're done?”

Between the last few mouthfuls, “Why?” I checked it, it’s not a winner.

“Cause I wanna throw it from here!” He’s getting way too excited about the idea, “I bet I could get it on that other roof!”

“Sora stop!” At that I immediately slapped my mouth shut.

Felix did stop. He stopped smiling too. Looking away. 

“I- I'm sorry. I … I didn't mean to.”

“It’s ok. I'm kinda surprised no one’s done it sooner.” But he still won't look at me.

Well. No time like the present. I take a deep breath; this isn't going to be an easy conversion.

“Felix, I'm sorry I did that. I actually…relate to your situation quite a lot actually.” Nervously shifting some, “I don't know what the specifics of your situation is but… I feel I can relate to someone being also a bit of a…fake Sora and all.”

Felix did finally return his gaze to me, not in judgment but in definite confusion, “You’re a fake Sora?”

Rubbing my arm, “It’s a bit complicated. I was made as a type of replica that could absorb memories. By absorbing enough of Sora’s memories from him or his nobody, Roxas I could…in essence at least, become him.” Thinking about it again, drew all the dark feelings back up, “They wanted him, but one they could control.”

Felix was in complete silence thinking very hard about something. Thinking very, very hard. Did I offend him? I mean it doesn't seem like I'm much of a copy right now…

“So you…absorb the memories of Sora? Wholesale? Not copy?”

“No copying, absorb.”

“You are…or were? Are and were Just Sora’s memories. Which memories are an aspect of the heart…which means you were Sora’s heart…” His eyes squinting, and clearly the hamster behind the wheel was running for its dear life.

“Uh, yeah? Where are you going with this?”

“I'm just trying to understand why they didn't just, I dunno, just directly take Sora’s heart. Or did they need your Xion-ness for their plan to work? The Sora inside someone else's head?”

“Can we stop…musing about what their plan was…?” Why is he being so mean to me?

“Can I ask more questions still? I have so many now!” His smile is unfortunately very disarming.

Sighing, “Fine. But please thinking about-”

“Were they acutely your memories or just memories you had within?”

“They...formed the bedrock of who I am? Sometimes they felt like mine other times, well they couldn't have been mine. But there were so many more of them than me. By- by the end I did even take his appearance. He- …really was going to be me.”

“Ohhhhh so you started to look like him towards the end?” Looking even more excited.

Uh oh where's he going with this…?

“Does that mean, like where you're at right now, it's Sora’s Heart without Ventus? Is that why you have black hair?”

What?

“Yeah, after Sora absorbed Roxas’s heart his hair got blonder. He fixed Ventus’s heart at birth. Don’t ask, I won't tell but anyway. He’s got brown hair, unlike his mom and dad. But they have black hair and you have black hair. So does that mean at this point you are more Sora than Sora?”

“Wait wait wait, slow down. I don’t follow?”

“So so, what I'm thinkin,’ I guess you’re a part of a set with Namine Right?”

“Wh-what?” Where did she come from?? He knows about her too?

“She breaks his memories up, and you take ‘em! I know Sora had Ventus’s heart, and I know Roxas is the spitting image of Ventus cause I've seen Roxas and Vanitas can paint a realllllly accurate picture, so I'm figuring Roxas somehow had Ventus’s heart, and if you were absorbing from Sora and not Roxas for a while that means maybe you’re a Sora without Ventus influence!!”

It’s like being smacked in the face with a random conspiracy, “Felix, what does any of that mean?” I shake my head, “The most important memories I’m made of are Sora’s memories of Kairi. That’s why I look like her.” Emphasizing a bit more for him, “I look like Kairi.”

“You look like Kairi?” Shocked. Looking at me like a dopey owl.

Can’t help but glare, “Do you not know what she looks like?”

“Nope!” Shaking his head with full confidence, “I was told she had red hair but that’s about it.”

Puffing, crossing my arms and looking away, “Well is it my turn to come up with nonsense about you after you tell me your origins?”

“Yeah yeah do me do me!!” He takes a moment to hum a bit before saying, “I'm a Sora written by a second party. I know what the second party knows, and what they think and know that Sora knows.”

“Yeah, well, that second party’s a dummy and think’s Sora’s a really rude jerk.”

“I know right?!” Nodding along, “You’d think they’d realize that maybe Sora was being ruder with them because it was usually 3 am and he wanted to sleep! Even I can see that.”

Maybe it's just seeing Sora’s face, and voice laughing and joking that I can't stay mad. Felix is just another tool doing his best by someone else's ideas. And to be fair, after only hearing about it once, I can see where weird ideas can get mixed in.

“I wish we had gotten the chance to talk sooner…” We could have been helping each other out so much sooner! We all wouldn’t be alone against Xehanort and his people. I hold my legs close. It's getting cold and we can’t stay out here forever.

“You can talk to me whenever you like Xion!” Leaning back just so as to be mildly distressing, “I’m [almost] always available!”

“Not really. See I… I don't really trust Vanitas. I’m…scared he’d say something to Xehanort.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Said in the single most serious tone I've ever heard any of us Sora-like beings take. Felix barely held back his disdain. “Vanitas…greatly distrusts Xehanort. He wouldn’t tell him anything, nor would I.” Look at me severely now, “Xion, what’s going on?”

“...Did you know…I wasn’t the only Xion…?”

“Vanitas told me. It sounded like he didn't understand. I’m confident that you're the only Xion me and him know.”

“Darn it. I was hoping you knew what they did.” Staring over the edge once again. “What got them in trouble?”

“Xion, is something happening? Are they after you or something?” More importantly, “Are you doing something?”

“No. Not yet anyways. I just…it’d be nice to know where the line in the sand is, you know?”

Felix is at a loss for words, I can see it though. Burning defiance. That look Sora usually gets before he does something really dumb and sacrificial.

Standing up carefully, “We need to go. It’s really late.”

“Wait! Xion,” Grabbing and holding my hand, “Can we check something out before we go? Really really quickly I promise.”

We corridor on over to the other side of town, where Felix takes over and leads us down past a series of twisty paths, to a small little nook by a massive cliff on the side of a hill.

In front of an impossibly clear and reflective waterfall. Gasping, I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was! Still stuff to find even after all my explorations. This really is the best world.

Felix stands in front of the waterfall. He’s looking for a moment, as if he’s waiting for something. A pause. After a while he sighs, and to the waterfall whispers, “I'm… Sorry. I don’t know why I thought you’d be here.”

That didn’t stop him from begging all the way home, “Would we really get in that much trouble for visiting the mansion?”

“Yes!! Unbelievably so!!”

“Even just a peek?”

“Yes!!!”

“Even to visit the Flood stationed there-”

“Felix I wanna live! I sure hope you do too, and we can’t do that if we do blatantly troublesome actions.”

“Awww….”

“...Oh alright. I’ll take you next time. When it's daylight.”

“HORRAY!!!”

There’s probably secrets there I need to look into anyways. And not just because Felix is hard to deny.

We wandered back down the tower, through the town, through the tunnels back to what Felix cheerily called, “The most comfortable murder den I’ve been to!”

Got redressed in our coats. I could see Felix was struggling to leave behind his new hat and jacket, “Remember if Xehanort sees them he’ll take them.” That finally made him set them down.

We left, walked far away from the closet so nobody could track it and made a portal back.

“You too have some explaining to do.”  

“Saix!” Xion yipped. Nearly jumping back a whole foot.

I had been awoken to do my usual curfew double checks and Xion wasn’t in her room. I found her and Felix coming out of a portal, nearly two hours past her curfew.

Panicked, Xion looked to Felix as if desperate for him to make the excuse.

A poor choice as he immediately said point blank, “We were um um um, we were doing Drugs.”

Xion looked like she was about to die from embarrassment, “Uh…Yeah. We were…doing drugs.” She turned and looked up to me, “Yep. Drugs.”

A clear lie, but I wanted a reason to drug test Demyx and Xigbar anyway. I pulled out a pen and paper, “So what drugs were you taking?”

“Uh…” She fiddled with her fingers, “We were on…”

“Isobutylphenyl propionic acid.” Felix said, again with perfect confidence and bouncing a fist off his chest. I didn't bother to write that down.

“And we…smoked… champagne.” Xion declared.

I couldn’t help but stare at Xion, “You smoked…champagne?”

“Y-Yes.” Her face had gone cherry red in embarrassment.

“The alcohol?”

“...Y-yeah?” Is that steam actually coming off her head…?

“...Well then you both better go to sleep. Get over your hangovers soon. The Vacation will end any moment now.” Walking away from the two, rounding the corner and standing perfectly still. Hoping that this weakness in Xion still existed…

“Really?! Drugs?” I could hear her exasperated voice float down the hall.

“What? What else do young people do when they're alone?”

“I would have infinitely rather you told him we were on a date then on drugs!”

“I didn’t know if you’d be comfortable with that.”

“You thought I'd be more comfortable with DRUGS?!”

There was the sound of a slap, and then a slow breakdown into a bunch of giggles. 

“What’s sham-pain? Sounds like a bad time.”

“I dunno, I heard it in a song. What was that…acid stuff you were talking about?”

You could easily hear the smile in Felix’s voice, “Ibuprofen. Vexen let me read the bottle once.”

“You’re a funny guy. G’night Felix.” 

“G’night Xion. I gotta go return this coat.” A few steps and then an open and closed door.

Hm. Kids. I made to walk away when suddenly I turned directly into Demyx, “Yo I heard someone talking about drugs-”

Deadpan, “I'm going to have a talk with Xehanort about executing employees found to be on drugs.” 

-Day…?- 

This must be what chopped liver feels like. What a gutted trout dying, baking in the sun feels like. A zombie forced to roam again by the unnatural wills of science and one very persistent Igor. 

Igor, read, Felix, was strangling me in a hug, “You’re awake! You're finally back to awake!”

I almost barked ‘no thanks to you’ but that would be demonstrably a lie. Instead, I pivoted, “You. You're not shrunk anymore.” My mind feels ready to disconnect from my body at any second. One hard movement and the cord will be cut. Is any of this even for real? Am I dreaming?

Vexen had walked in by this point, “When should I expect my thanks?” No giant multicolored owls. Not dreaming.

Felix squealed, “Thank you Mr. Vexen!!!!” Vexen’s small jolt of annoyance must mean he’s been buried under these. 

Vexen looked at me, I rolled my eyes, and in a high pitch mocking Ventus accent, “Thwank you mr Vwexen.” He gagged. Ha.

“Gratitude…ugh, received, I guess.” He then stood at the base of this weird metal slab with a blanket on it, “Come along. While I have repaired you from your near-death experience at the hands of your own Unversed, I haven't been able to repair you from your malnutrition.”

I got off the table with a somewhat confused response, “Repair from malnutrition? Is that something you can just...repair?”

Vexen all smug, “Well you see, replicating humanity is all well and good but a true mark of genius is to improve upon the design some. Malnutrition is a serious issue, and replicas are actually more susceptible to it due to requiring more niche materials. Follow me please.”

Down a few paper laden corridors, there was a fairly clear room with a few more doors with strange symbols on them. Felix bussing with joy, “Oh it's so cool Vanitas! Vexen’s replicas are gunna change the worlds~!” Vexen feels a stab of intense guilt. 

He lets it go with a forceful smother when we get there. Points to one of the doors, “This is where my Mineral and Vitamin Acquisition System (MVAS) comes into play! Just stare at the little AR code and your subconscious will do the work for you.”

I look to Felix, “Is this legit?”

“I used it a little lotta bit after Vexen said I wasn't going to die during it!”

Obviously, I looked at Vexen who glared a dagger at Felix, “Well, don’t word it like that!” Then looked back to me exhausted, “Felix was in much worse shape than you. Almost entirely dehydrated on top of being critical in, I kid you not, everything.”

“Don’t fucking look at him like that again.” That isn’t what I wanted to say. Scratching my face awkwardly I try again, “So I look at the door or whatever?” Approaching it.

“Yes, just look at the collection of squares, a little lower, you got it. Just stare at that for a bit.”

A square filled with more squares, three larger squares in the corners. This is…this is…

Magnesium… b12. Potassium…. I must…

“Wow!” I said to Vexen as we retreated from the room, ducking behind the door, trying to avoid the rampage Master was on, “Did I go uh, that ham?” I don’t remember what I did. There’s like a log of record actions but otherwise nothing.

The scientist was panting and trying to get his hair out of his sweating face, “Nope!! But I know why you didn't and he is.” We heard the sound of crashing and Vexen said, “So, how about you go out and oh, come back in, say 30 minutes? Vanitas is going to be a little…” The sounds of the door’s window getting caved in over our heads, Vexen flinching a little from the glass falling on his head, “Occupied.”

“Sure you don't need any help-?”

“I'm fine!” Vexen made a corridor, “Go out to the lobby, get yourself a snack or something.” And pushed me though with his boot.

Okay. I find myself sitting on the floor of the break room. Snack time it is, I guess? As I go to the kitchenette, I see someone out of the corner of my eye.

Rikuplica is staring at me from down the hall. He seems embarrassed maybe? That's strange. Riku’s aren't really embarrassed by anything other than me doing something dumb.

Maybe I did something dumb?

He looks slowly back behind him and winces, before slowly creeping up to me. As he does, I see Xemnas now waiting at the threshold to the hallway.

“What’s up guys?” I wave to both. Xemnas just gives a nod in my direction. Rikuplica again, winces. “Everything ok? You look like you wanna curl up and die.”

Riku nodded “I do. But I have to ask you something instead.” Taking a moment to glance at his master, “I uh…there’s that mission. Coming up. With all of us.”

“Oh yeah! Are we going to get the details on that soon?”

“Very. But …before that.” His face gets red and angry, he can't look at me, “Master. Xemnas has ordered that we. Try to get along. Try to get to know each other.”

“Sounds good to me!”

“He says. That tonight we should…we should…” He turns back to Xemnas suddenly, “Are you SERIoUS? Do I have to??!”

Xemnas approaches. And Rikuplica is clearly terrified. The urge to dart in front of him is powerful, but Xemnas just steps up to me. In his calm unemotive voice, “I wish… for you two to have… a bonding moment. A sleepover… seemed like an easy activity for you both, to talk things over. Part of this mission relies on Riku replica’s ability to replicate Riku.”

“He’s doing a great job!” He really isn’t, but Xemnas is being weird and I think Rikuplica could use the support.

“Yes.” His smile is less believable than a dead fish’s. “But he could be… improved. I think you could do it.”

“Uh, really?” I scratch the back of my head, “Why so confident? I’m not very Riku-like.”

“But you are very Sora-like, and could figure out if he has any flaws. You sell yourself… short.” He turns away, “Please, tonight if you can. Tell your master… that I wish for this to happen.”

“Okey dokey artichokey! Can do.” Rikuplica basically runs away at this point and I have to shout after them, “See you tonight Rikuplica!”

He screams. I think he’s excited!

… And now I'm alone in the kitchen again…

…

I should bring Vexen back a snack too!!

Pat. Pat. Pat. Is someone slapping me? My throat hurts. My mouth feels chalky. I would kill for a toothbrush and toothpaste. Stomach is churning in horrible displeasure. But some part of my head has still given this situation a ‘thumbs up all clear’ and I slowly, slowly open one eye.

The slaps are coming from a Felix, in one hand a rag, in the other nothing it’s patting me. A small smile breaks on his face, and he says to me softly, “Boss? Are you feelin’ better now?” I slap him back much harder, sending him across the room.

“Yay! You’re back!” Felix squeals. Quickly return to take my hand and jump up excitedly.

Blinking, I look around. It's that mostly clear room. The door I was told to look at is now ripped off its hinges, and the floor is now covered in a few thousand containers that have been ripped open and are weirdly perfectly clean. Vexen seems to be taking notes on a clipboard, as he always does.

Out loud he suddenly says, “Need to re-tune craving severity. Currently - TOO MUCH.” Dotting the line with a flare, “Good morning Vanitas. Are you feeling better?” He tries to school his face into an annoyed look, but he’s in a pretty good mood. Very amused.

“Theoretically?” Did my mind finally disconnect? “What happened?” I move my head and it feels like there’s a delay between every action. Am I even touching the ground anymore?

“Nothing you need to worry about. You’re now more than 1000% on your nutrition. Forgot to set it to normal after Felix. Just means you won't be in here for the best part of a few years. No harm no foul.” He then pushed Felix forward, “Please take your things and go back to having fun on your vacation.” 

“...That’s it?” Did he just call Felix a thing? Felix’s is my thing; he can’t call him that! What? Why? That doesn’t make sense.

“That is all for now. Oh, don’t make too many Unversed for a while. If Xehanort orders it, lie. I mean it; this is your doctor's orders. Now. Please go. We may have a day or two left if we are lucky.”

“Sora’s beating up a meteor tossin’ wolf!” Felix shouts excitedly. 

“Which is to say this blessed break will be over before we know it.”

Grabbing Felix’s hand, I raced out the door. 

Without much of a plan I shout, “Up to killing Heartless?”

“Anytime!”

“No hesitation? No ‘but think of the poor creatures’? Who are you and what have you done with Felix?”

“Ok, if they were Heartless from the system I MIGHT hesitate, but if we were in the system they’ll respawn sometime anyways. Besides; Heartless love fighting!”

We ran out of the base, and into a dark corridor. I refuse to let Xehanort have the chance to do any more damage. 

Chapter Text

We escaped to one of the most interesting worlds I've ever been to.

I don't know for sure what it’s called. There are many unique and pretty worlds, but none so musical. Every motion you take, music plays almost like the world is narrating you. Every area you visit, you’ll find yourself breathless and unwilling to break the serenity of the space. Even Master Xehanort hesitated to speak here unless he had to.

Plus, there is always something to kill on this world, even before the Heartless flooded the realm of light. Normally I wouldn't share this world with anyone, not even with Felix, but I want to kill something. I want to share it too. But you want to kill something more. But I want to share. To kill. Whatever.

I feel the magic of the world trying to change me, and this is the only world I’ll ever allow to do so. Touching down on the ground, I let my new wings unfurl, glistening in the morning light. It changes my body significantly to that of some kind of demon, but that’s fine by me because it grants me the power of flight. The coat, unable to change, now rests on me rather incorrectly and uncomfortably, but the dark suit underneath still modified to fit, even stopping just past the shoulders and dismissing the boots. Why do we even bother with these stiff worthless coats? I unzip the stupid thing to the neck, pull my wings though the sleeves, and wear it around more like a cape.

I turn to look at Felix, my head full of questions about what form he will take. A centaur? There are many of those that live here. Unchanged? It is entirely optional. There are still the occasional settlements of humans here, though perhaps it would change his clothes. A demon such as I? An angel? As a counterpart to me…

The world’s music should have been a hint that something had gone wrong, instead of normally calm flutes, as my head turned, screeching violins set me on edge. 

A tattered dress is the first thing I see. What? I have to crane my neck up to actually see Felix. The violins are now scratching unrhythmically in my ears.

Clutching his head with claw-like hands, still standing but nearly about to topple over. Felix was now in the form of a large woman, skin tinged blue. His hair is far longer but still only marginally affected by gravity. What I thought was a tattered dress was actually his suit; his back and legs had burst free of it.

I was taller in my new form, but Felix was larger still. Eyes shut hard, sweating profusely, and groaning as if under strain. 

Darkness visibly rolled off of him…

“F-Felix?” My voice was almost forced into a note. I’ve never actually tried speaking here while transformed; I never had to. “Is that…you?”

“M-master…” his voice horse, “Something’s …wrong. I let the magic in but…it picked a bunch of random parts from my head. It doesn’t…” Nearly retching, “It doesn’t feel like world magic…”

To my displeasure (not horror; I am not scared) from Felix’s back I can see…creatures? People? Beings, bodies, breasts, beasts, all sorts of shapes as if they were trying to burst free from under his unyielding skin. The tips of fingers trying to claw their way free. Faces in terror. If I put my ear to him, will I hear screaming…?

The tattered red stands out to me, a bright crimson contrasted sharply with his new skin… Damn it all, he's not wearing a coat! “Felix, obey, and follow my lead.” A hand to his side I started to coax the darkness away.

After a few moments he followed along, and we managed to bleed out a ton of the excess. A pitch-black mist escaped from him, and strangely enough he started to shrink. By the time we had removed as much as we could he was back to the proper height and was even able to finish his transformation. He was a little Felix version of an opera singer I had seen on posters all over Radiant Garden this time in a proper red dress.

“Change out of that.” I demanded, “You took on darkness in the corridor. I don’t trust why it chose that form.” Indeed, the two large holes in his heart are now fully clogged up with darkness. I will have to fix that. No you will not. Yes I will, if I don't it’ll rot him from the inside. Later. Fine. Later. I'm going to teach him how to make his own dark suit and be done with this worthless coat nonsense.

However there has to be something left for a Dark Suit to protect. Darkness spreads fast and if he is to be a warrior of light he should be fighting like one anyways. 

As a precaution, “You said you had light magic. I want you to focus it today.” Every word grinds though my teeth like shards of glass. What is this? I start to wonder if it was the world magic that made even an untransformed Xehanort still his endless words.

Felix turns back into himself, and leans on his knees out of breath. “I'll be more careful…” His words also being forced out. I back up as I see him take on the magic again. This time it’s not nearly so monstrous. In fact, it is a flamingo. A baby flamingo, not yet pink, nor taller than my knee. Tripping over my new talons, stumbling back up, and clearly ready to take on the world with a soft cheep.

It’s not ideal. In fact, this is a really horrible idea. But if it gets to be too big of a problem, I'll just have him stop. At least he can’t talk, which is a massive plus.

I want to kill something. 

THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA.

Why?! Why did I pick this world?! Did I even pick it, is Xehanort just fucking with me and letting me THINK I wanted to come here?!! This was such a bad idea!

My head is pounding, begging for mercy, why did I come to this world?! It’s too loud! A nerve throbs just under and behind my eye with every beat, and my ears…! What I wouldn't give to rip them out and be done with it all! It’s so loud!! When did it get so loud?

I didn’t get the chance to kill anything more than a few dinosaurs for lunch. My attacks always came with just a single sharp note, at most a tolerable chord, but Felix, fucking Felix every one of his little steps made a weird piercing beep sound like someone stepped on a cat. When he got on a good trot it made something that could be a song if you were an actual lunatic, a shrill painful wall of sound, but then he’d fall and it would make a loud cymbal crash. His Faith spell was a kind of finisher that would string up all kinds of noises in a din of strings.

He fell constantly. He used Faith constantly. My ears are ringing constantly.

What had once been a somewhat pleasurable feature of this world was now a knife being jabbed into my temples. Can’t hear the damned world's music on account of the walking cat torturing device, Felix. When I could, hearing both was just hell. I would infinitely rather have Felix speak than this…but then would that just be more overlapping noise? What if each step of his big dumb yellow shoes came with a bellowing honk from a trumpet?!

I should leave but I can’t. Not until I find it, and I can't let a little noise stop me. It would have been for nothing if I left now. 

Doesn’t help that I can't navigate the place anymore. Sighing, looking down at Felix on the ground below me, “This was already an extremely strange world, but returning from the Realm of Darkness must have irrevocably changed it for the worst.”

He stopped and chirped, titling his head. Rolling my eyes I swooped down and grabbed him by the neck. Taking a guess at what those chirps meant, “Xehanort had plans upon plans, and if somehow inquiring about Ventus couldn’t get him back into talks with Eraqus then a world falling to darkness sure would. With the land’s protector long gone, it was child’s play to destroy.”

Felix meaningless cheeped a bit, but all I could pick up was curiosity and awe. Probably from flying.

The land had always been a bit fluid, but this went far beyond that, where things connected didn’t match anymore. The centaurs were not by the ruins. The dinosaurs were not by the forest. The fishing village seemed to have been up and moved, a perfectly cut square in the dirt sat where it had once been. New York is much the same but considerably worse, the square hole going for miles.

The music that should have been calming filled me with unease and made my head spin. Felix, also annoyed at his lack of speaking, tried numerous times to change his form, but they kept just being silent animals. I dropped him after he changed into some sort of extremely heavy giant reptile in dancer's gear. After a while back on the ground he seemed to give up on the world magic, and tried to go back to his human form, but the magic clung too tight and still mangled the words he tried to speak.

At least his footsteps stopped making noises.

Unfortunately, he’s a chatty pain in the ass. “If we sneaking up on it carefully, there will be a head for you, a tail for me?” Was somehow an answer to fighting dinosaurs. I mean it wasn’t wrong per se, if he wants a tail for lunch sure, but both of us were annoyed that it wasn’t what he wanted to say. If it was, I'm tying him to a chair and re-teaching him proper basic grammar.

He was so beyond confused when he kept going on about milk or something. Visibly frustrated, unable to control his mouth he tried to manhandle it with his fingers into saying the right words and failed. He managed to not sing the words eventually. Muttering them extremely quickly under his breath until the ‘song’ was over.

But later he meant to shout, but instead delicately sung, “Viens, descendons ensemble.” As he pointed a way down a cliff face. He tried for ages trying to say something else. But he just wound up singing some strange little song in a language I don't speak.

An hour later I tried to crack a joke about Xehanort, the silence had been getting to me, “The old man… always said stuff- s t uff about controlling the worlds, making them better… or whatever. Idiot wouldn’t- know what to do with thisss… one, he’s tone deaf.” As the day wore on, It was harder and harder to get them out without being mangled.

Said soft and dark, Felix practically whispered, “Even in the dark, you know they are pretend.” 

Eventually he just stopped trying. Just staying as a Flamingo on my shoulder and pointing things out with a rhythmic cheep cheep. And the cymbal crashing right in my fucking ear. 

This was a bad idea. This is the worst idea I've had in… I don’t care, I can't think.

There was once a large bustling city in this world. A city so large it dwarfed even Radiant Garden by magnitudes. After a while of searching we found it, but it was nowhere near where it should be and unnaturally intersecting with a series of ice flows. Not destroyed, not like it had actually been flooded. But as if both spaces suddenly existed on top of one another at the same time. What happened? How did the world get restored so poorly? Why did New York wind up 11 feet underwater?

We flew across it at speed. The serene devastation all around us, not a soul nor body in sight. After a point, Felix, who’d been on my shoulder suddenly transformed back into a person. It was easy enough to catch and keep going. Maybe he felt uncomfortable being so small? His words continued to fail him, but there was some sort of panic.

Then I felt the magic of the world seep out of my bones in little more than a second. My wings vanished. We sailed over the ice a bit more before Felix crashed through a window into a building, and I landed right into the freezing depths. 

If it weren't for the full return of the dark suit, I'd be dead. Dying seems to be my goal lately. Clawing out of the frigid water, I made my way up the building to the window Felix fell into. The world is now entirely silent, save for the ambient gurgle of water.

With furious coughing Felix managed to choke out, “Vanitas, I think something’s wrong.” Seeing me covered in water, “I'll get you something.” Stealing a blanket and tossing it over me, then gathering some broken bits of furniture, “Ugh, but I think I can talk again ok.” With a little tap of the keyblade he starts a fire.

“What are you doing…?” That's not going to stay contained like that for very long, “I can just make a Red Hot-”

“NO!” Felix screamed loud enough to make himself jump. But then he calms some, “N-no. Please don’t. I’m… scared you're going to be hurt again.” My offense is barely a spoonful compared to what it should be. Felix keeps going, “I also… I don't…it’s not that I think this world is bad but… I wanna go to a different world. Where we can talk more freely?”

I should be mad. But I'm not. It’s… a fair point. I should have just kept this world to myself. It's a lonely world. But. But I’m still…glad I showed him. I’m glad? What the…?!

My heart must not be repaired enough for all this. A shuck of that suicidal idiot must still be rattling around in there loose.

He nearly killed himself. For no reason. For no gain.

“Let’s go. Somewhere…your pick.” What the hell is crawling out of my mouth? Forget the world, what's wrong with me?

“Wonderland!” Still bombastically happy at the idea.

“Sure.” Ahhghhh what is he doing?! Why aren't you obeying my orders?!

What? Huh? Who- What was that?

Ugh, I can't take this anymore, I give in to Felix’s demands. I make the corridor to that rancid miserable world. 

My heart is worn down to the studs. That’s why I feel weird, that’s why I'm not making sense. There is nothing I can do but let it all grow back some. Normally I’d kill Unversed and get them back but that's just not an option anymore.

Somehow this trip has been…nothing. Nothing enough that I was able to take stock as Felix did...whatever the world wanted I guess. 

Felix has only been to a fake tiny copy, but it must have been accurate enough as he handles the world’s nonsense like he was born and raised here. The only thing tripping him up being some cat that said he knew him and had the ‘inkling’ or something, I’m still nursing off my headache.

It really all just amounted to a walk. A walk in strange forests with oddly racist flowers, in weird samey hedge mazes, and that one room where nothing was the right size. We drank random hell water in a bottle and lived. It’s just been a walk. 

Felix also did his usual, looking at objects and creatures, and bringing them back to me. Showing them off. Asking what they were. I’d answer only knowing if I was right around thirty percent of the time, then we’d tossed them and kept going. Easy. It was very easy. When the hell did Wonderland ever have an ounce of mercy? Or is it just because the bright colors currently make me want to gouge my eyes out and the smells all make me want to hurl? Psychological torment too expected, so they just went for physically aggravating?

There was a single gathering of Heartless. Slaughtering them wasn’t satisfying. My head was still spinning, why can’t I get back to normal? Exhaustion was settling in like an albatross landing. My bones now weighed me down and my skin an unbearable burden.

“Are all the names backwards?” Felix chirps, hopping around strange flowers, “Heartless have hearts, Nobodies have bodies, and the Unversed are very talented! Look at this one! It can fit in my mouth!” and he horks up a Flood. Before somehow hiding it back.

“Get that out of your mouth!” But it's almost a laugh. He shouldn't be laughing. Felix can laugh all he wants. You. I can laugh all I want too. I deserve some.

Felix nods and then spits up…a different Flood?!

“That's not the same Unversed as before!? What happened to the other one? Stop that don’t eat my Unversed!! It's not good for you or them! How are they not dying?” How many does he have?

“See; talent!” He laughs, leaping on a lillypad and then on a rock that sank into the floor. I open my senses-

Hundreds. He’s holding on to a few hundred.

How…how have I not noticed that?

I focus in and…Felix is holding on to so many in such a small area I can't tell where they are. Some are in his pockets, some in his jacket, others… I don’t know. They're there. 

That’s it. I stop. Holding my head. Painfully slow, feeling so useless and stupid but I confess, “Felix I don't think my head can take much more.”

Felix walks around me then sits beside me, “Like an ice pick tap tap tapping behind your eye?”

“Exactly.” HE KNEW?

Felix sighs, “Me too, but I didn't want to bother you when you weren’t feeling good. Let’s go get you some water, then probably go home.” Felix dusts himself off, “Camping is fun, but you need peace and quiet! Today’s been a good day.”

“Today sucked, everything hurts.”

Felix gasps, “Boss! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Grabbing the sides of my helmet, “You hide your pain so much, I can't tell when it's a problem until it's a REALLY REALLY big one!” Then he casts curaga directly to my skull.

I concede. Today was okay. It was whatever. Easy. Easy is… fine. Felix grabs me and helps me get back on my feet. Yeah. Go to the cave. Take a nap…

“You should probably take back some Unversed while you're at it.”

“I can’t kill them.”

“Yeah, but just take them back. They’re not dead if you do that.” A good enough loophole for me.

Felix suddenly winces, remembering something and feeling upset, “Oh yeah, we needed to head back to the Graveyard soon anyways.”

“Why?” What other reason could there be for Felix?

“I wanted to tell you sooner but that other world's magic messed with my mouth.” Rubbing the back of his head, “Xemnas says that tonight I have to have a sleepover with Riku Replica.”

No.

No. No No NO NO NO NO NO NO! NO! NONONONONO!!!

I grab Felix and crush his shoulders, “No. No you cannot. WhyWhat do you mean he…why a sleepover?!” Is Felix fucking lying to me? But Why? He would. No he wouldn’t! 

“Says he wants us to get to know each other better for the mission.”

“NO. No no no.” I must sound stupid, but the stress makes the icepick feel more like a carving knife. “It's a trick. It’s a trick somehow.”

“It’ll be fine, it’s just a sleepover.” I finally make the corridor, but it is to my cave. I can’t let him go, what if-

“Vaniiii. You need to sleep. Me being here isn’t going to help with that anyways. You always say so.” I do. Felix drags me to my small room, and pries my fingers off him. “Here, sleep tight. And I'll see you in the morning ‘k? I’ll ask any Unversed I see to go back to you too while I'm at it.”

Never has that dumb splotchy rug looked so inviting…I rest my head on it and it's a trap. I can’t get up anymore, my body won’t let me. I am one with the sediment.

“G'night Vanitas!” said with a whisper and a wave. I hear his steps hit the rocks get softer and softer.

No. I should go after him…but I …try to force my eyes to stay open, but they slowly slam shut.

The loud buzzing in my head starts to calm. The knife back to a pick. And then soon just a needle…

Across the desert I roam, telling the Unversed to go home. Approaching the base, I realize I have no idea where Rikuplica lives. It can’t be that hard to find him can it? When I get inside, I knock on the first door and it’s Mis. Larxene!

“What do you want, brat?!” She was wearing a pink sleepy dress.

“Do you know where Rikulpica lives?”

“No.” Then she gave me a free knife in my shoulder and closed the door in my face. Kinda rude but a free knife is a free knife. 

I tried the next door, and Mr. Xigbar opened up, “Oh hey. Ah, what’s up little man?”

“I'm looking for Rikuplica’s room.”

“It’ll be the one on your left behind you.” Xigbar motion to his chest, “Ah, you’ve gotta little something something here.”

“Yeah, Larxene gave me a knife!” 

“Hey, just so long as you know. That’s how I got this scar on my face; left a knife in it too long!”

“Oh neat! Vanitas told me it was Terra’s Dark Volly, but you're telling me Terra could put darkness in knives??” That’s so fancy!

“He… sure could.” And then Xigbar also closed the door on my face.

I wandered over to the door and knocked. Xemnas answered, “Oh. Good eveni- why is there… a … knife in your… chest?”

“Larxene. I'm sorry I'm looking for Rikuplica’s room and Xigbar pointed me here.”

Xemnas sighed, and pointed down the hall, “The last door on this side…” Then he turned to me and pulled out the knife. “Heal yourself.” Easy peasy, I do and he hands me back the knife, “I do very much… wish you both… get along after tonight.”

“Sure thing! G’night.”

Xemnas nods and this time closes the door gently in my face. Pocketing the knife, I marched on over to Rikuplica’s room.

Standing before the door…I felt sick. It was the same as all the other doors. But my chest fell somewhere between squeezing in on itself and doing a flip. What's wrong? It’s Just Rikuplica. It’s not JJ.

I knock on the door and this reluctant Riku face looks at me with a pout full of misery.

Definitely not JJ. After all, Rikuplica can’t hurt me like JJ can. 

Chapter Text

Rikuplica peeked out of the door, and his face looked so disappointed I was scared he was going to shut the door. So quietly I just say, “Howdy.” With a little wave.

The door opens, Rikuplica motions his head towards it and retreats inside. Following after, I can't help but gasp in excitement, “this is your room?” It's got metal Walls, and posters and bookshelves and desks and a BED, “It's so fancy!”

Blinking. Looking around his own room bewildered, has he not noticed? Then says in a flat voice, “what do you live in a cave?”

“Yep!” But really caves are just natural rooms, I poke around his bookshelf. “Over by the dune, three miles out.” He has a lot of books with pictures of people on them!

“Stop touching my bookshelf.”

Sigh. Dropping my hands right away, I don’t want to fight a fight I'm never going to win. “Okay.” Putting my hands behind me as I instead turn my attention to his desk. lots of papers, and objects, and a big big digital clock with huge red lettering reading the time.

“Don’t touch anything.” Anything? Well that sucks. I kick off the ground and start gliding on the lowest possible settings. Hopefully I can convince him to let me lift off the ground every now and again.

Hovering over, he’s rubbing his forehead, I hope he doesn't have a headache those hurt. When he looks up he jumps back, “Can you backup already?”

Backup?

Oh, I guess I haven't in a long while. Just didn't cross my mind without the system reminding me to.  It’ll take a minute but I can do that for you J- Riku. “Sure! One moment please.” Riku reaches toward me. He started to say something but it got cut off.

I’ll be quick. In the console I just type a few things… Copy files, save pa-ra-ma ters~ put that here and put that there and there we go! All backed up! 

> NEW DRIVERS INSTALLED

> ABILITY BOARD UPGRADED

> GEAR MATRIX UPDATED

> ADDITIONAL ACCESSORY SLOTS AVAILABLE

> OLD PARAMETERS INCOMPATIBLE WITH NEW UPDATED ONES!

> ATTEMPT CONVERSION? 

Uh… what? Sure? I haven't really had an update since everything was over. JJ said it was some security things or something, new drivers? Upgraded ability board…? Had i really not backed up since we got smuched in Vexen’s computer?

Well let’s hope my settings can convert.

> Y

>ONE MOMENT!

> …

> …

> …

> CONVERSION SUCCESSFUL! 

It’s odd, in a blink I feel…weirdly whole. It no longer feels like 3 boards stapled together, barely comparable, but one board. Just me. But it’s now 13 cores to my original 7, and so many more places for chips and features. Where did I get an update like this?

> GOOD LUCK

My eyes and senses are back online and- HUGHhH…! The world is doing a backflip and I’m stuck in the middle of it. Urgh, what?! Ugh I'm gunna be sick! What in the…?

I had been standing, but now I'm lying down. The sudden cancellation of glide felt like being jerked to the ground hard, though I probably hadn’t, cause my muscles feel stiff stiff stiff! Have I not been moving? My clothes had been on and are now gone, with my chest open radiating heat and exposed to the cold air. As updated data feeds in, I found out I went from 60-some-odd pounds to just shy of 100. Something’s touching my hair. Vertigo alone isn’t enough to describe the absolute rotational apocalypse the world was going though. 

But the weirdest part was my nose. It was telling me something.

What it was saying, I have no earthly idea. Just… information with every breath. Some of it was pleasant and others most certainly not, some deeper aspects of my coding were not happy at all about parts it was detecting. What is this stuff? Whose putting this in my nose? There like the tags from the Twilight Town comp but even less visible.

A creeping sensation crawls up my spine, I'm not in Riku’s room. Nowhere near… is this… Did I load from a backup?

Trying to lift my head felt hopeless. I think I'd need Hercules to lift it; It’s so heavy! But eventually it gives.  My neck practically creaks as I ever so miserably slowly try to look up. A ton of tubes of all sizes are snaking their way into my chest. There’s something sort of to my right; I see glowing red…and after a few blinks I can make out his shape. 

Master Vanitas looks…wrong. He is slowly petting my hair. Eyes glassy and filled with…are those tears? Devastated doesn’t begin to cover it, he looks so tired, what’s happening? What’s wrong with Master Vanitas?? There’s a large thing sitting directly behind him with twisty horns, an Unversed? What’s going on Master?

But my voice doesn’t work. I barely squeak when I try. Huh? But why…?

Vanitas’s voice is hoarse, “It’s almost like he’s actually awake this time…” I am awake! “I can just imagine him…looking at me with a pout, going,” and in a near perfect mimic of my voice, “I am awake! But what’s wrong with you?” In a tiny voice Vexen wouldn’t be able to hear, “Why’d you let them do this to me…?”

Let them what? I wiggle my hand in a way I've seen Vanitas do before, to try and say, ‘Well are you?’ Vanitas's head turns to face it, but I don't know if he’s actually looking right now. Eyes open, but not looking, if that makes any sense at all.

There is some stomping in the background, my eyes having adjusted to the light now I can make out that this is some kind of cave but it’s outfitted with all the stuff Vexen surgery rooms have. Including a Vexen who mutters, “That is a good sign-” before turning around and flinching. Ponting at me, “He-! Vanitas he’s up!!”

Vanitas stops petting and tilting his head, looking at me closer, “...What?” Suddenly a lot more focused.

Trying much harder now, with a big breath, and using all of my chest, I barely managed to croak out, “aA-re you, O key?” My throat feels gross. Dry but somehow still clogged with congealed gunk.

“And the first thing he asks is if I’M okay!” Vanitas breaks out into a weird big grin(?), happy(??) tears(??!) stream down his face, “Felix!! Fe-Felix You’re o-” His arms are reaching out to me.

Vexen taps his shoulder, “He’s not out of the woods yet, it’s that bug again with the logs but this is great news! A very good sign.”

Vanitas goes from looking relieved to back to devastated for a frame, before ending on a manic smile. His hands now looked like he’s going to strangle me, “You’re not out of the woods yet you son of a bitch!” Laughing unsteadily, he tries to reach closer to me but the huge hand of the very very large Unversed holds him back, limiting him to just holding my head. Not painfully, very very softly. “Go back to sleep, Squishy. I know. You're confused and you have questions. But we need you to go back to sleep.”

“...n…ick…name?” Why now? 

“Yeah yeah, I'll work on it.” Waving a hand around deliriously. It's hard to understand Vanitas right now. He’s…relieved for sure, I think, maybe happy? But there’s so much else screaming that something’s wrong. Shaking intensely, looking at me with…fear? Hope? “You’re not gunna remember any of this.” Carefully lowering my head back down, with a level of gentleness I didn't think his strength would allow him, like I'm made of spun glass, “Just go back to sleep Felix.” Master’s trying to be strong, it's a bit… unnerving when he has to try. 

This should be fine, maybe even great but now, “’m…scared…” Weakly reaching for his hand.

Holding my hand tightly in his grip, Vanitas lets out this weird honk of a sound somewhere between  snort and a cry, “You and me both.” Looking down at the floor while bringing my hand to press against his forehead, voice devoid of energy, “You and me both…”

I don’t want to forget. 

But the second Vexen finishes accessing the log, I feel myself slowly losing strength…oh well. Copy some files, yawn, save them…params… that there… this here… that…  zzzz… Yeah that can go over there… yeeee…. All backed up……

Vanitas holds my hand tighter and looks me in the eyes, “Everything will be okay. You’re safe.” I can’t help but start crying. He goes back to petting my hair, “It’ll be okay…”

"Did... som'om, hur t me...?"

"Hurt you? Oh Felix." He laughs but looks so mad, "They killed you."

?!

Vani, whatever your doing.....please be...safe...

Chapter Text

The Sora clone is standing outside my door, smiling and waving. For once not screaming his heart out as he just says, “Howdy.”

Sighing, I open the door and nod my head toward the room. Tonight is gonna suck ass. If I can just minimize the talking… I don’t know why but every single time I deal with Sora or I guess now his lookalikes my blood just can't stop boiling. Aren't they all just so annoying?!

If it was Xion it’d be better, but Xehanort won’t let me talk to her. It’s a shame cause she’s really pretty, most days though I only get to see a bit of her long blonde hair sticking out of the coat before someone shoos one of us away. Why do we even need this goober when Xion is just better in every way?

Felix walks in, and with a little gasp, looks around with a creepy amount of joy, “This is your room? It’s so fancy!” 

I look to my left, then my right, just to make sure I'm in my room. It’s a small plain room with a bed, a nightstand, cluttered desk and bookshelf. Mostly metal walls outside of the two posters I stole off some fat kid from Twilight Town. But he sounds genuinely impressed. “What do you guys actually live in a cave?”

“Yep.” Not skipping a beat, carding over the contents of the bookshelf. “Over by the big dune, about three miles out.” That’s the cave one of his creepy dogs pointed me to…

I thought that was a joke everyone was saying. They’re not just camping around for fun? Whatever! Who cares if they’re homeless; one of them is touching your stuff! Shaking my head I snap, “Stop touching my bookshelf!”

Felix immediately takes his hands away from it, crossing them behind his back, “Okay.” Turning to look around the rest of my room. Wandering over to my desk and cooing at the small pile of papers and pens. Look at how nosy they are…

“Don’t touch anything.” Rubbing my forehead, when I open my eyes again, he’s right up in my face, “Can you backup already?” Creepy bitch.

“Sure! One moment please.” He didn’t move. If anything, his staring intensified.

“I said move-!” I gave him a push, and at the same time it was like he just woke up and flinched away from my hand, finally moving away.

“Ugh, what is it with you?” I sigh, and collapse on to my bed, curling to face the wall. “This is the one place I can be myself and all alone and Xemnas won’t even let me have that…”

“I’m sorry.” Felix sounds legitimately sad, “Want me to leave?”

“No. I'll get in trouble if you do.” I rolled over to see Felix, legs crossed-cross across from me, the calmest I've ever seen him. “Let’s just turn off the lights and go to bed already.”

Felix nods and then tilts to his side. It’s at this point I realize he’s been floating three feet in the air, and with the tilt glides slowly over to the light switch, I can’t help but snap, “Are you making fun of me!?”

“No?” Felix pulls his hand in the air, and with magic flicks the switch, “You told me not to touch anything.”

Huh. He’s… actually listening to me. _{Is he now?} 

For some reason it's easier to talk in the dark. “...Why do you look like Sora?”

“Cause I’m a data version of Sora.” That makes sense. Vexen did have a ton of data on Sora, somehow it got corrupted and shoved in a replica? Vexen probably hates this thing, a living record of his failures.

In the dark I can't really see him, but the light from a dumb LED is enough to see the spikes of his hair, “How do you float like that?”

“It’s a glide skill. If you give me a day I can make you a copy.”

“That's not how that works.” A stupid question crawls out of my mouth, “Did you have your own Riku? A ‘data’ Riku I guess?”

I get the feeling Felix stops smiling, going stock still, “Yeah. But He goes by JJ these days.” His voice has a strange tone to it.

“JJ?” What kind of name is that?

“Jiminy's journal. Technically it merged with him to make him what he is now so he is Jiminy's Journal, but JJ is shorter. I try not to draw attention to the recursion.” Okay, that’s definitely bugged garbage data. Demyx was playing around on some game where something similar was going on, names getting replaced by titles and jobs and junk. 

“Were you guys friends?” Why am I asking him? Knowing him they were probably gay best friends or something. I don’t need this information in my life. 

“Yes.”

 …What that’s it? Not even friendship stories- wait, why would I want that? I don't.

“Was he the person you were closest with?” Shut up!! What are you doing?! Torturing yourself?!

“Well, I was inside him once; that’s so close it overlaps!” 

I could feel blood rushing to my face, I'm so glad the lights are off. “What do you mean, ‘inside of him’?” I was right. MY THEORIES CONFIRMED and he’s in my room! …WHY DID I ASK HIM THAT-?!

“I had to go in there cause they put bugs in him.”

“WHAT?” _WHAT? Who put bugs in data me?! Why did they put bugs in data me- NO! Nope! Not interested.

“Ha! Mickey said the same thing!” My eyes, having adjusted to the gloom, can just barely make out he’s got a dumb stupid smile on his face.

I turn away. He’s messing with me. There’s no way he’s telling the truth. He’s just trying to rile me up, “You’re just messing with me, right?”

“No. I have been nothing but completely honest with you.”

“Yeah right, you're getting your sick kicks lying to me.” 

Felix is very quiet for a moment, before quietly saying “I… don't think I can right now.” 

_{…A test?}

A test? As the fossils always say.  

Rolling around, and throwing something on my desk at the light to turn it back on, to look Felix right in his stupid stupid eyes, “What is the most traitorous thing Vanitas has ever said about Xehanort?”

Felix bites his tongue, and chokes out, “Are…you sure you want that answer?” 

“Yes.” I sit up and glare, “Tell me.”

Felix leans forward, slowly floating towards me and gets right up to my ear, “That- He’s a disgusting old cretin and he wants him to die.” The volume so low, I could only just barely hear it.

But it’s hardly useful information. After all, don’t we all?

Shoving him out of my space, “...Do a flip.” Felix does so, midair and not even breaking from his legs crossed position. “Bring me the black book on the third shelf of the book case.” He does so, very careful not to damage the old book. But these are all things anyone would probably do…

“Do something to me that you think would make me uncomfortable.” 

Felix instantly lurches towards me, arms out, but again holds back, “Are- you sure?” Like a machine.

_{He just gave you a chance to back out you might wanna-} “Yes.” _{…take him up on it cause this is probably a mistake…}

Felix floats right in front of me, knees touching, gets right into my face, and with a hand, cups my cheek. What? Huh? This is- different. He’s very… careful? He…tilts his head. Uh… What’s he gunna do…?

Then he looks at me, right into my eyes and I regret everything. In the back of his pupils comes a warm orangish light. My eyes are drawn to it, it feels…warm. S-Safe? N-no! Not safe. I can’t force my head to look away. His eyes dilate further and that orange light is coming from a second set of eyes behind his own. The moment I make eye contact with those my body fully locks up.

I can't move, I can't breathe, invisible hands reach into me, an invader into my mind.

For a few minutes my life flashed across my eyes. Every person I had ever seen, in painful detail glides across my mind's eye. It’s a short miserable power point, with so many repeat faces, and fingerprints marring every frame.

Suddenly it's over, I cough harshly, desperate to take in air. Felix steps back. Looking like he’s about to be sick. Hand clutching his mouth in horror.

How dare he?! 

When I could finally wheeze it out, “What the hell was that?!”

“A- A once friend of mine did that to us all the time and it always felt unpleasant.” He holds back a gag, “But that was so much worse when it’s real, I'm so sorry!! I’m so sorry!” The stupid thing is actually crying. As if IT was hurt and not me!

“You Sora’s are always like this! Inconsiderate jackasses to the very end!” Failing to hold back my own screaming, “What did you even do to me?” I should have never trusted him! He stabbed out my eye, and I really thought I could trust him with something THAT simple?!

“I copied all the faces in your head.” He looked horrified, his arms wrapped around his head, “She would have done that to everyone if she could…!”

Turning the lights back on, “You freaky weirdo, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

“I don’t know what I'm doing!” He ducks his head low, “I can leave. We can lie and say I was here. I just- I want to make things better.” Facing the floor, and shrinking back as far and as hard as he could. 

“That’s a good look for you.” Suddenly intensely excited; look at how pathetic he’s being! Make him grovel for you. “Grovel for my forgiveness.” But as the words leave my mouth, a part of my brain kicks me. What the hell am I doing? Nothing feels correct. Nothing about this is correct! Why is it when it’s Sora or Felix I have a stupid meltdown? Acting like one of those asshole Norts.

Felix actually does go to the floor. Hovering just slightly above it as he began to actually grovel. 

Sheepishly I turn around and slap my face. What a hypocrite. What’s wrong with him, should be more worried about what’s wrong with me. Without looking at Felix I say, “I’m...sorry. I don’t know what came over me. You did exactly as I told you. You did nothing wrong.” Sure, maybe it was overkill, but he didn’t seem to know it would do that. I goaded him into it, just like I did with the stupid fight. I made that a fight for his life, and he wanted to live. What else was I even expecting?

Felix sniffles a bit. But I don't hear him moving. 

“We should... Just go to bed.” Guilt settles into my stomach, “You can take the bed.” It’s not that much better than the floor.

“No thanks, you’re the host. You should get the bed.” I turn around to snap at him and my mind against my will goes from 0 to 100 the second I lay eyes on him relaxing in mid-air. Felix’s calm voice for some reason a scratching record to my ear, “I’d really rather you have it.” 

“What is my bed not good enough for ya?!” Take my generosity asshole!

“No, it’s too good.” He nervously twiddles his thumbs, “I probably should have had a shower before I got here.” Filthy cretin is covered with dust. All the Sora’s _{are just so groty-} Again?! 

Once more I turned away. My head just ready to burst with anger. I’m not like this with literally anyone else! Not even that Vanitas guy. There’s something wrong. 

It’s just not fair. It’s not fair to Felix. Sure, he hurt me once, but that was it! He’s been nothing but the perfect guest! But I can practically feel my brain sliding into insanity when I look at him though…

Did…Did Vexen program something into me? This feels too…artificial. 

I can just barely hear that Felix is starting to get closer, probably out of worry from my silence. Quick uh… Distraction. “Hey, Felix before we go to bed, can you do me a small favor?”

“Sure! What’s up?” his voice was still like nails to a chalkboard.

“On my desk is some paper, can you like, tell me everything you know about Riku; the warrior of light Riku? Like how he acts.” It feels dumb to say but, “Maybe your insight can make me better at tricking the real Sora.”

“Oh yeah! No problem!” I can hear the soft shifting and the scratching of pencil being taken to paper.

Turning around, I do it slowly, and track my emotions carefully as yep, the second Sora’s enough in view to recognize that weird deep anger returns in full force. But he’s not doing anything. He’s literally floating and writing whatever, as a favor to me! Not here because he broke in like Xemnas always does, he’s on order by that asshole too.

It takes covering my ears and closing my eyes as hard as I can to not flip out on him again. As steady as my head would let me, I try to… forcefully push against that anger. It’s not fair. He’s helping. Nothing’s wrong. He’s decent to me, so I should try to be at least decent back. If I had to describe it with a visual, I was rummaging around my head trying to find the source of that artificial anger. Finding it in the shape of a slider set to near max, and tried to at least turn it down a little.

At first it wouldn't budge, but after a few seconds it started to move. Just a little. Then a little more. 

Then it flew out of my hands and way past the middle. 

All that boiling anger was suddenly released, pouring out of my head and right into my gut where it suddenly changed form. I was left with a delightfully empty head, buzzing with leftover energy, the ability to look at Felix in a completely different light, and with a very warm face.

For some reason a color stands out to me. Pink. Felix is entirely focused on the paper, his tongue slightly poking out. His writing is haphazard but still somehow with the consistency of a printer and a really homely font. For a moment, he takes a pause, considering something. Tapping the pencil against his lips as he looks around aimlessly. The lightest smattering of pink across his cheeks…

Huh.

Well I'm not sure what emotion is supposed to have been injected, but it’s not anger. 

“Hey Rikuplica?” I turn to face him immediately, his face the picture of mild indecision, “What kind of English do you prefer I write in?”

Leaning back, pretending that I understood what he meant, “I don’t care, I can read whatever you write just fine.” At least now I can talk to the guy without trying to skin him alive. But on the flip side of that, “It’s still pretty early, if you want when you’re done you can still take a shower.” New dumb things crawl out of my mouth without permission. Didn’t even think until it was already out. 

I mean I wanted to be friendly-er, but not actually his friend…I think?

“Ohhh! Sounds good! It’ll be my first shower all by myself!” Felix laughed, then floated back to the door, dropping to the floor when he passed the threshold, “I’ll get to find the soap and everything!”

That triggered a three-way response in my head, the gold winner being concerned, silver to mild disgust, and bronze to the vague feeling of a very tired ‘why?’ I just get the sensation that I probably shouldn’t let him do it on his own…

Sighing, with regret in every step, I get up to follow him.

“…Hey Vanitas.” Says the mysterious scratchy image in my dream. Sitting in his weird plastic chair, near the giant owl of dreams. My head supplies me with the scratchy not thing’s name. Vanitas. That’s not me. My head swears it’s me. 

“Yes…myself?” Unsure of what to say.

How a scratchy ink blot in space can recline and look worried, I'll never know, but it does. “Did you ever like… Fix that thing with Felix’s Heart-?”

“Fuck!!” Getting up, the dream and everything else with it annihilated. Lurching out the door, only to hit the barrier of the cave. Swearing even more as I bounced my head off the blasted thing, “Shit. Son of a… oh please don’t change for the worseeee…”

Turning away from the barrier, leaning against it, I just groan into my hands. I feel sick. If I got anything from that nap I lost in my panic. With a snap of my fingers, all the Unversed in the cave leap to my side. Returning in wisps of darkness.

The cave was emptied in no time. While I'm up I might as well send out a bulletin… Get some more to return. 

Retreating within myself, I let my thoughts carry out to the rest of the Unversed…

...

> Vanitas of the Keyblade Graveyard<waitwhythehelldoihavetohaveoneofthese>. Status: Dying. ‘Hey will you pricks get back here, I'm actually about to perish.’

> <waitwhythehelldoihavetohaveoneofthese> ‘hold on this is stupid’

> Vanitas of the Keyblade Graveyard has renamed themselves to <Boss>

> Flood of the Keyblade Graveyard<illthinkofsoemthinglater>. Status: Alive. ‘WE CAN DO THAT?’

> Mimic Master of the Keyblade Graveyard<mester34>. Status: Alive. ‘We can do that?!’

> Shoegazer of the Keyblade Graveyard<NOTNOW>has renamed themselves to <BossyBoots>

> Red Hot Chili of Symphony of Sorcery <hothothothothothothothothot>. Status: Alive. ‘Oh that’s so cool!’

> Flood of 66 65 6C 69 78 *&&X% <Boss(2)>. Status: Alive. ‘YOU STOLE MY NAME!! That was mine!! >:(’

> <Boss> ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN’

> ‘IM  D Y I N G’

> ‘So if *you* want to die, come on down! If you want your friends to live, come on down! Remember; they die with me! You *all* die with me! If you just wanna give being made into another Unversed form a shot, get on down here!! Cause i'm DYING AND I BETTER BE UN-DYING BY TOMORROW, got it?’

> Not-My-Flood of Monstropolis<BIGDICKENERGY>. Status: Injured. ‘WE CAN DO THAT!?’

> <Boss> ‘I WILL get Felix to kill every single last one of you. Incidentally, I won't be killing any of you this time. Just reabsorbing. For today only, I'm catering to cowards.’

> <mester34> ‘We’re on our way. Though, we're going to have to wait till the morning for that barrier to drop.’

> <Boss(2)> ‘I dunno if we can reach you from here.’

> <Boss> ‘Where the hell are you idiots anyways?’

> Flowersnake of Monstropolis<succ>. Status: Dead. Final Words: ‘WAIT REALLY, WE CAN DO THAT?!’

At that, Vanitas screamed. But no one, except one very confused Guardian heard him.

This was a mistake.

Maybe I owe Vanitas an apology. But only in my head. This is… a lot to deal with. Even when you’re not dealing with some weird emotional slider some old jerk forced into you.

Felix tried walking into the shower with a full set of clothes on, I just said, “Stop. What the heck are you doing?”

“Showering.” Then he paused, “Oh yeah no one’s put their coat up yet.” He removed his jacket, a move that somehow required falling to the floor on his back and three strange lunges that left him crumpled for him to remove. He put it on the coat rack, as if he wasn’t a massive embarrassment. “Then after this I have to find some soap.”

What nightmare have I just started? “First you should probably take off your shoes and suit.” _{It might be okay.}

Felix shrugged, and kicked his feet in a weird way that his shoes fell off. He didn’t have socks. It would have been easier to unzip the shoe… Then he seemed a bit confused at the red suit. “Now how did she get this off…?” I rolled my eyes, got up and grabbed the zipper pull. 

Realizing what the hell I was about to do, my blush came with a fiery vengeance, “Uh, you… ready?” Thanks for not making it more awkward Riku, very great execution.

“Yep!” He had that dumb smile back on his face. I unzipped it quickly and let it drop to the floor. For some reason I was expecting something other than plain black boxers. _{I mean it's a Sora you’d expect more right? They’re…eccentric.}

You know that's enough of that, this is embarrassing as hell, he seems confused enough as it is looking at his skin that I just say, “Good enough, take your shower.” Pushing him into the shower stall. To ease my mind I grab my own soap and grab and hold out his hand, “You only need THIS much soap.” A dollop about the size of a quarter.

“Oh really? Thank Rikuplica!” At this point I flee the stall as fast and as dignified as I could be. What the fuck. This is the fucking worst.

I sat there. Trying really hard not to think about stupid, stupid things. Felix whistles and I hear the water going. Eventually it stops. Felix walks out of the stall. Completely dressed.

Completely dressed in the clothes currently sitting on the ground by my feet.

“...Felix, how are you in clothes already?”

“Well uh, truth be told I don't really know how to put them back on the normal way, and you already seemed really bothered, so I just grew a new set.” Smiling with teeth, arms behind his head perfectly relaxed. 

“Gross.” I pluck the clothes on the floor and chuck them in the trash.

We made it back. I should just end the day. Close my mouth, shut my eyes and sleep till dawn.

But then politeness I didn't know I had kicked in, “You need to borrow a set of pajamas for bed?” Goddamnit it, why?? Why can’t you SHUT UP RIKU?

“Hm, like the set you're wearing?” Looking me up and down. Checking me out?? Is he-?!

NO HE ISN'T ASKING YOU THAT, I turn away to the tiny dresser holding my stuff, “I mean basically, I don’t have a lot of variety…” Just to check, I took a peek at that slider. It’s sliding more and more away from anger, but into what? Shaking my head hard, I just have to make it through the night. It’s nothing. This is nothing. He is nothing.

Turning back, he’s in my clothes.

Seeing him in my pajamas… it’s…something. They are basically exact copies, just a black shirt and shorts, both kind of ripped. But it’s for my size and not his. So, his shirt’s falling off a shoulder. My eyes can’t stop looking at it.

It should be nothing but it feels like too much! My head is starting to boil, what is this embarrassment?! The slider keeps creeping in the other direction, what’s going on? What is this slider and who put it in my head!? If it’s Vexen I'm going to kill him!

Bed, if I go to bed now it can’t chase me there. I sit down, and Felix decides to float right beside me. 

“So how do you feel about yourself Rikuplica?” Dangling above me, arms drooping to nearly touch me. _{That would be okay.} Would it? _{You want that.} I do?? _{You got this; you want her.} Her??? _{Oh whoops Him.}

“Who starts a conversation like that?” I want to be mad but it's hampered by the fake feelings and comes out almost as an offended laugh. Managing to school it for my next sentence, “Stop calling me Rikuplica or whatever. My name is just Riku.” 

“Is that who you want to be? Or do you just think it's your name?”

“...You first.” Blah, I sound like I'm a five-year-old. Not helped by ducking halfway under the covers. But if he’s going to ask me weird personal questions, he better expect them back!

“I’m not Sora, my name is Felix and my name was never actually Sora. I just believed it was.” He taps my head, “So who are you?”

“I’m…Riku.” He’s very… I don't… want to feel this way. I try to drag the slider back down. It’s not budging.

“The one and only? Or just one of many?”

“The one and only!” I snap, the slider flying back over the other side. “That other faker doesn’t deserve it! I’ve gone through so much more than him!” Stupid worthless idiot-! Too much! Reigning it back, I could feel the tension leave me. Ugh, this other side is at least less tiring. 

Felix looks concerned, but nods in some type of understanding. 

Rubbing my temple, “Look we gotta restart this conversation, just entirely-”

“You want a restart?”

Rolling my eyes, “Yeah I just said-”

“Restarting! One moment.” Felix’s faints, on the spot in the air, and his head crashes into the corner of the bedframe.

Peaking over the edge, I see he’s not moving... Grabbing him by the hair and lifting him up, after a few moments he groggily blinks his eyes open and says, “Oh hi Riku, I did the restart. Did I miss anything?” Before noticing he was touching the floor and he started to float again. 

Letting him go, I couldn’t help but start chuckling, “You really are just a computer that’s tricked itself into being Sora…” It’s weird, but…I’m happy he’s here. I’m happy I'm not all alone and dealing with all these creeps by myself. Maybe if we get the chance we could- we could-

Whatever feelings I was having, turned ice cold and hard in my stomach. Those… those were the exact same thoughts I had when I met… Namine. 

No. No, that’s stupid. This can’t be happening-

Looking away, I bury my head in my hands, taking everything in me not to scream. What? Why? 

This feels…just as unnatural as the anger. Am I just forced to feel very...intensely about Sora? What the hell? Why? They’re not the same at all! I don't want this, this, this Sora tainting my memoires of Namine! My feelings for her were REAL! Not this… this…! Fake! Garbage!

Looking directly into his big pretty-STUPID blue eyes, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Floatin-”

“Shut up you smart ass-!” Push him away! _{No, you want him to get closer.} Silence!

Wait- wait wait, what? Huh? 

He’s a disgusting copy of Sora! _{Like Namine.} He should be hated! _{But he’s one of us so shouldn’t Riku like them? Want to protect them? Is that not what Riku is? Is that not what the setting is set to?}Not this one for that one!!

Felix shakes me, “Riku? Riku what’s going on? Why do you look so scared?”

My mouth is dry, I fail to get the words out for a moment before, “F-Felix I can- I can hear two voices in my head. Neither are mine. Both of them have been…I thought, but no they’re not me…!”

Matching my horror, “What are they telling you?”

“They’re having a fight.” Grabbing my hair as hard as I could, “This whole time, basically ever since we’ve met, I've been… unable to control my anger and disgust for you. I thought they were my thoughts but… but they’re not. I tried stopping but, but now I'm being forced to feel something else, something that I DO NOT want to feel towards you!” Nearly ripping some hair out, “I can hear Xehanort perfectly, the other sounds like a cheap robot voice from a cartoon…”

“What don’t you want to feel towards me?” Getting even closer. 

Whining, burying my face in my hands, “...Are you really going to have to make me spell it out?”

“No, I can usually figure that out if I hear the word.” Floating even closer still, “What's a car tune? Like a song? Is the robot singing bad things with Xehanort?”

“Smart ass. Cut it out.”

“Cut what out? I can get some scissors.” Actually looking around my desk.

He’s not going to stop. Dragging my fingers down my face, seriously thinking about tearing it off, I just say as plainly as I can without looking at him, “I’m…having injections of fake l- affection.” Someone just shoot me now.

It takes him a moment to process, but when it hits, Felix is stunned. His mouth hung ajar as he takes a pause to think. When he finally gets control sputtering out of his mouth, “W-why…? Why would someone do that to you? That’s just… that just seems so evil.” He looks horrified.

For some reason, that hurt! “Evil is your word of choice? What am I gross or something?” Huffing, “I'm just guessing if it's affection at least. This doesn't feel…whatever.”

Already starting to tear up, “To force you to feel it against your will! It’s supposed to be wonderful and a revelation of joy not… not upsetting!” Floating towards the door, “Are you SURE you don't want me to leave?”

“We’ll get in so much trouble! If you're so stupid, I'll just flip it back to hating you!” Already did, the jerk.

“But- but you're being forced into feelings you don't want; I don't think I can do anything to help other than leave.” Glancing between me and the door like a rat ready to bolt.

Of course he’d want to leave! That's all Soras do in the end anyways!! Make friends and never see them again!! 

Instead of answering I started screaming, “Why couldn't you literally be someone else?! Why’d you have to be a Sora looking thing!” Spitting on him. 

Felix, in the first act of retaliation, grabs my arm and spins me around. Well what was the point of that? I turn back around to shout at him and jab him in the nose but-

My finger jabs the nose of some girl. Green eyes with a swirl pattern, long blonde hair done up with a strange head band with pointy ears, a pink and white top, some checkered something around the waist, pants with too many belts, and tall heels holding a large stick that kept me form getting closer. Normally I couldn't care less about someone's outfit but what the hell am I looking at? Where did this even come from?

“I am not Sora. I’m Felix.” A regal and deep feminine voice, “I am not your enemy. Are you going to treat me correctly now or what?”

I blink. The weird fighting in my head doesn't happen. The intensity gone. There’s nothing to feel. 

Sheepishly I scratch my cheek, “Y-Yeah. We’re good now.” Nodding, “I…didn’t know you could do that. Good thinking. I... don’t know what's wrong with me.” Again holding my face, “I just wanted to be civil with you, and it turned out like this. I’m…sorry.”

The girl Felix thing looks apologetic, “Something was slipped in, something someone thought was very important for their idea of Riku but they overdid it. I understand.” They take my hand, and I can't help but look into her face, “I’m going to peel back to myself, piece by piece, and you let me know when it’s no good anymore, okay?”

My tongue caught in a knot, I could only just nod.

In a blink, the jacket returned. In another, the weird suit. The pants gone, the shoes big and yellow again. The flappy bits all gone, “We still good?”

“Yeah.” It’s just clothes.

The…how would you say, ‘softness’ of the body vanished, and the hair turned brown and short. The face normal…then…

The eyes turned blue.

My hands started to squeeze and I growled unconsciously for just a moment before they snapped back to the swirl of green, ending it all immediately. 

Felix stepped away, “Okay! We found the line in the sand.” They do a silly pose like for a photo, “So how’s this as a look for me?”

It’s Sora but green swirly eyes. Such different. Much change. “Why swirls?”

“I dunno, she was a fairy. Do they look good on me?” Blinking obnoxiously.

“No.” But it keeps us from killing each other. “Let’s just finally go to bed.”

Felix rolled his eyes, and his clothes rotted off, that’s just going to live rent free in my nightmares now, returning him to the pajama clothing. Floating back in the air, pretending to lie. Is everything with him going to be so weird? You know what, that’s fine. Weird without psychotic is fine. 

I turned off the lights and crawled back into bed. Tonight sucks. Tomorrow's gunna suck even harder, cause there’s no way they’re going to let him stay like that…

“Riku.” His voice soft and above me, “Just so you know, it’s okay to hate me. If it’s gotta be one forced on you or the other, I think it’s better for you to fake actually hate me then feel forced into a false love.”

Do not engage Riku; it will only be a pain in the ass. “...Wouldn’t you rather be loved?” Damnit.

“Sure, who doesn’t? But this fake version, it can’t be good for you. And I’d much rather you hate me with fake hate then love me with fake love. I like the idea of the bad being fake then the good. Does that make any sense?”

“...Not really.” I curl more towards myself, “I’m still not sure I’d use that word for it.” I do not feel love, love is for wussies.

“Cause like. Some part of you will always know it's fake and feel upset about it. This should be a choice you make or well, I guess naturally fall into? Uh I’m not sure the words but in any case, whatever it is it shouldn’t be an affliction.” He floats down a little closer to me, and pats my hair some, “I just want you to be happy, okay?”

Is this a rejection…? 

No, it's perfect. Trying to swipe his hand away, “I already know all that! Contrary to my current living situation, I was in love once. And this ain't it.” I don't have to care anymore. I got permission to do what I want. Whatever makes me happy. For now I just push him away, he can float or whatever but I need breathing room. “And you’re nothing like her. You're nothing like Namine-”

Glinting in the red LED’s light, “Oh! You’ve met Namine? The real one?”

“For the love of-!” Stage whispering, “If you wanna keep your skin, keep your voice down and don’t ever repeat that name!” 

“Confirmed.” Said like one of Vexen’s computers.

Crossing my arms, I sighed, calming down some. Muttering, “Yeah, I did. She have a data person too?”

“Yep! Though I couldn't tell you much about her. I only know cause JJ slipped up about her existence; just like you!” Felix hovered low beside the bed, in the air in a casual pose, “Was she nice?”

“The nicest.” Immediate and sharp, the feelings rush back. Nothing at all the same. I try blinking back tears as I try to change the subject, “Did you ever-”

He suddenly laughs, Interrupting “...Do you think the slider, that one in your head, do you think it’s literally ‘Sora’ on one end and ‘Namine’ on the other?”

“Dude, don’t curse me.” Ugh. It is, isn’t it? Whatever, fine. Tonight I'll slide it toward ‘Namine’ just in case and enjoy not being alone, and in the morning I'll hate you with everything I have. I deserve to be above something for once. At least he didn’t see me almost cry.

Hell, now that I know he doesn’t have to look like Sora…

“Hey…dumb question but…” I’m going to hell for this, “Can you be blonde?”

“Sure!” Instantly, his hair fizzled and became lighter. Basically invisible. Why’d I even bother, I turned off the lights…The LED clock can only do so much.

Felix giggles, “Sorry, sorry, what were you saying before? Did I ever…?”

“Did you ever…” How do I word this delicately, “I mean I imagine not given you’re a Sora and like- wait Kairi, jeez where the hell was my head?” Sora’s not, maybe Felix- Wait why am I still thinking about this, “Did I really just forget her…? Ugh, ignore that one of the old men was probably committing thought crimes, anyway, uh, data Kairi.” Man I feel stupid, trying to pretend to play it cool, “You got one of those?”

“Nope, not at all.” Felix flips over, his new acid green eyes glinting in the dark, “I know of her, but like I didn't even know what she looked like and made Xion mad cause of it.”

Really? A Sora with no Kairi? Man, he is a glitch, “...Why was Xion mad?” I've only talked to Xion a few times and she’s the most level headed person I've ever met who wasn’t insane.

“She looks like Kairi apparently.”

“Yeah, they say that about Kairi and Namine but I don't see it. Maybe in the face but…?” What does Kairi dye her hair or something?

Felix comically goes limp in the air, “Ugh I'm so glad there are more ways to identify people than just the face, there’s too many people who share faces in this universe and my facial recognition isn’t the best. One of these day’s I'll go implement Ava’s but eehhhh…” Shrugging.

It dawns on me. This is the least normal person I've ever met, but I'm having the most normal conversation in the world. Couple of dudes talking about girls. This… really is a sleep over now. 

I almost feel bad I was thinking of hurting this guy…Felix is…alright. Just another one of us, caught in Xehanort’s web.

“Did you ever meet Selphie?”

“Selphie? Who?”

“Darn, guess not.” Felix suddenly looks very sad, “Hey Riku…can I ask you a question that might be dumb?”

“Today I asked you to turn blonde, go nuts.” But a glance at the clock made me flinch, “But keep it short we gotta sleep already.”

His voice soft, hesitant, “Do you think, if they… if they added things to make you feel fake emotions, do you think maybe they…” 

“Did it to you too?'' I can barely make out his nodding head. “It’s…possible. I don't think it’s as likely in your case but…possible.”

“Think Master Vanitas could tell?”

“Hm?”

“Between fake and real emotions.”

“I don't know. Ask him in the morning. It’s really late.” Turning over in my bed to face the wall.

“You’re right. Goodnight Riku.”

“Whatever.” I wait until I'm absolutely sure he is asleep, “...Goodnight.” After a pause, “Loser.” Just in case.

Chapter Text

-Day… 97? -

On my wall of tally marks, jagged scratches made by me, are now additional perfectly straight clean chizzeled lines. Only Felix would have bothered to update the number. I’m...surprised he bothered without an order.

Actually…now that I look closer, in the shadow of my old tally marks tiny perfect little ones follow. With some thinking I realize they start on the day Felix could walk around. Should I tell him what was the day I got him? My claws can’t add matching ones, too imprecise…

My musing was interrupted by the sound of the barrier dropping, whereupon hundreds of Unversed started marching in. For some reason these ones are willingly returning to me.

Crack my knuckles, and park myself on one of the flat stones. Holding my hand out I began the process.

Hundreds upon hundreds of waking hours are suddenly drawn into my head, the Unversed have been busy. Floods and Flappers have been spying on everyone and everything, the Mimic Masters have been nose deep in books and elbow deep in experiments and synthesis, many others still have been going off on unsanctioned off-world trips and adventures. 

A Scrapper who was picked up in some snowy world as an orphan, a Mimic Master picking up a job at a big library, a Wild Bruiser living with real apes, a Hareraiser pretending to be someone's pet, in the memories of way too many Flood and Mandrake there was an insane woman who corralled and convinced them to help her with some massive project, Knuckle Bruisers returning to Thebes and somehow reforging old contacts, Jellyshades floating in massive seas, Prize Pods of all sorts finding all the quietest scenic spots any and every world had to offer… 

My skull felt like it was going to crack open with all the knowledge flowing into me, but it was all worth it and satisfying at the end. They had all dropped everything to return to me.

Which they are me, but it’s still strange to have an answer to whether or not you’d help yourself in this situation when you didn’t have to. They even left a bit of a pile at my feet of strange trinkets. Felix would get a kick out of them for sure.

Observing the items and hiding them away I feel my back pop and my heart lurch into some form of shape. Not 100%, not by a long shot. But a wrong gust of wind or a poorly handled conversation isn’t going to break me anymore. With that done I felt outwards again, sensing the other Unversed in proximity. 

The ones in the valley were bored or doing mundane things, the ones in the base were spying away or helping the Dusks or Vexen, and then the ones in Felix’s possession were begging for help.

…Wait what?

The messages were scattered and embarrassed and didn’t make a lot of sense. To be summed up as, ‘Please pick up Felix from this ASAP, it’s getting weird.’

What the hell does that mean?

The sun’s not even up yet, that Riku guy wouldn’t be awake if he had any say in it. Aren't sleepovers just talking a bit then going to bed? How can it be weird?

I’d been sleeping. Just sleeping. Dreaming about… I dunno. Holding something warm…I woke when I heard the sound of a corridor. Ugh, what does Xemnas want now-

In the dim light, All I could really make out was that glossy helmet. 

Yelping, instinctually sitting up and in the process tossing Felix out of the bed as hard as I could, “What the hell?! Knock first!” 

Vanitas just continued to stare.

Turning to Felix, “And you!! What the heck were you doing?! I thought you were floating?!”

“It’s only a glide skill. I lost altitude.” He looks up with- asshole has his blue eyes back!

“Oh it’s ‘oNlY a GlIdE sKiLl’ huh?! Well I-!”

What the FUCK is that?!

No really what the fuck am I sensing?? Not emotions from the heart that's for sure! Not even from the brain! More like emotions from the gallbladder or some totally fucking incorrect place, what IS that crap??

Riku Rep always had some strange whiff of something around him, especially if Felix was nearby, it was like the cheese wiz of anger wafting off him. Previously I just thought he hadn’t showered in three months. But this! What affront to the natural order is THIS? What possible emotion could this even be??

Currently he’s bickering with Felix about literally nothing. The strange unreal emotion flip flops between it and the cheese wiz and they are both gross and don’t make sense with the context of very normal annoyance, exhaustion, and embarrassment that have to dance around them. Which those make sense, but what the heck is this other stuff? Felix isn’t any help, he's so tired of Fake Riku’s crap but is still putting up with it somehow.

Is it that strange self-respect? Is this some offshoot of some perverted emotion? Seriously, is it gallbladder cancer so advanced it's having an emotional episode?! I would have guessed aliens first but they feel the same emotions just as anyone else.

Ew, gross sickening. I want Felix away from it this instant, this one-way bickering is getting on my nerves. Grabbing him, tossing him in the cloak, and leaving out a corridor. Of course, leaving the fake Riku a little surprise, in the form of half a dozen Flood that are going to spend the rest of their lives ruining his day.

We made it back to the cave, and I took full stock of the situation. Looking him over from head to toe, “Felix why are you blonde?”

“Riku asked me too.” Yawning a little, before shifting his hair back to dark brown. 

“Why are you dressed in rags?” I can't even get both sleeves to stay on his shoulders, they're too big for him.

Looking down and fanning them out a bit, “Riku says these are pajamas, and people sleep in them. Xion said something similar.”

“Ugh you were dealing with her too?” She probably bothered him on one of those days she looked like his old friend. Taking advantage of his grief.

“We went on a date. She said to tell that to people. Xion’s really nice, I really like her, and I think you’d like her!”

“Don’t make any more of you.” One is plenty. Unable to see any more differences, I used my senses. The first thing that struck me was there was no longer darkness clogging the holes in Felix’s heart. “...What the hell did- he, did he do this?” Did one of the old men?

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about boss.” Scratching the back of his head, “If you’re talking about Riku we… Uh, talk for a bit? It’s weird, I’m not sure if I like talking to him as much anymore. Always feels like I'm on the losing end of an argument now.” Shaking his head, “Anyway, we found out he gets fake emotions-”

Out of habit I release a Sea Salt, but at least hold the disgust back to just the one, “Ew, that’s what that was? I couldn’t figure out what the hell that sensation was.” 

Suddenly excited, Felix does a hop towards me, “Riku says it was ‘affection!’” Tilting his head owlishly, “Was it?”

“That skin crawling nightmare? Not in a million years would slime that nasty be affection.” Not that I’m an expert in it but feeling it second hand from Ventus, it's a warm and I'm not sure the correct phrase, ‘clean?’ ‘Open?’ ‘Not at all comparable to counterfeit cheese sludge?’ emotion. Not like that funk.

“So you can tell!” Suddenly getting very serious, “Can you tell if I've got injected emotions?”

Doing a bit of a double take, “What? What makes you think you’ve got any of that going on?”

“Well, Riku does, and I'm in a replica too and I'm supposed to be…” Suddenly shaking his head, “I just… I need to know if my affection was fake or not.”

Shrugging, ducking down to his level, “Think of them. Think of your feelings.”

He closes his eyes and ack my teeth hurt. In between somber waves of sadness and grief, sweet happiness and true blistering affection. It’s real. It’s also still NOTHING like whatever that Repliku guy had. Rubbing my jaw, “Who was this for?”

“...She was from my system. She was there for me when JJ left.” He bites his lip hard, tears already threatening, “Please…please tell me it was true. Please tell me it wasn’t another one of JJ’s games to…to keep me occupied.”

It wasn’t. These are real. 

But…from his system? There is no way they put love in that box. If there was, Felix brought it himself. No one else in there would have it. “Sorry, but you’ve been tricked.” Tapping his head, “Why would that JJ guy bother?”

Felix froze. He stared off into the distance. A deafening silence on all his emotions. 

Then he started to shake, as a perfect bloom of anger erupted in his chest, his tears hot, his knuckles white, as he desperately held back a roar of pure agony and fury. Turning away from me and punching a wall full on, driving his fist all the way though the stone to his elbow.

“...So, tell me in plain terms what’s bothering you.”

Felix rips out his arm, bleeding from cuts all over, breathing heavily through the mouth and trying to smother the rage away.  

“Don’t you ignore me-”

“I-I’m not ignoring you! I just… I just…” He shakes his head, “It’s… it’s a lot to explain.” Head resting against the stone, “...Could you… could you give me to tonight…? I'll…I’ll tell you everything. Everything everything.”

We have some time. I allow him the chance to pull himself back together. Cast one of his healing spells. It didn’t even particularly take that long. The sniffles dying out to a weird silence.

“You done?”

He nods. Take a few more breaths, the last of the gross sniffles, and quick hops on his feet. “Y-yeah. I’m good.”

Getting up and out of the cave, “Let's just get our missions done.”

“Oh man I hope we didn’t stockpile too many while we were out…”

“I’m not worried. These missions are from Saix, they’ll at least be interesting.”

“Dishes? You’ve got to be kidding me.” We luck out and have one vacation day left, but we’re spending it doing dishes? Why?!

Saix shrugs, “Truth be told there is just no more work until Sora leaves. After speaking with Vexen on the matter he felt it best you were given a day off. This is the closest I can get you both to a day off.”

Felix is pretty jazzed about it. Bobbing along to something in his head. I shake my own, “Ugh, let’s get this over with.” Grabbing him and dragging him down the hall.

As we head down to the kitchen Felix asks, “Have you done them before? The dishes I mean. What does it mean to ‘do’ them? Like make them?”

“Clean them.” I’ve done the dishes, maybe about a handful of times in my life? Xehanort would come to grab me and drag me to his old sink where all I did was stand there drying things he handed to me before stacking them on a table. Ranting about how he had ‘only just fallen behind a little bit!’ Whatever that meant. He was so embarrassed for some reason. Felt like a fever dream every time. Why? I never understood and I wasn’t going to ask.

I still feel so unsure, I actually take a second to comb through Ventus’s scattered memories to find a more recent memory. Not to mention he did it way more often. Ventus hated them a lot, but it doesn’t seem hard at all.

When we reached the sink, I felt somewhat ready to teach.

“Okay. It’s simple.” Pointing to the sink, “See these things? See how dirty they are? We make them not dirty by filling the sink with water, using some soap, and a sponge.” I feel dumb. This Is dumb. I should get the Unversed to do this…

“Master, what’s this?” Holding up the single most disgusting sponge I'd ever laid eyes on. To describe it would be an injustice upon the dignity of that creature’s carcass.

“Gross, that’s a sponge at the end of its life. Toss it in the trash over there.”

“Hm? We don’t clean it?” That innocent question is punctuated for some reason with disturbance.

“No, sponges are disposable.” Checking under the sink for a new one, “You’re supposed to toss them out after a while.” Thankfully I found a fresh one still in the packaging.

“They're supposed to be tossed away??” For some reason Felix is incredibly hurt. Jittery and a little frantic. Why?

“Don’t tell me you don't understand what disposable means?” Getting back up, freeing the sponge before tossing the plastic, sighing. There’s no way his sad excuse for a world had sponges if it didn’t have working water. Or dishes because they don’t eat food either. I better explain it to him, besides it’ll be a good refresher for me. Deadpan “Here. This is how they work.” 

Holding up the fresh one, “Sponges are porous, that means they're full of little holes, see?” Showing off the texture, “That’s how they absorb things. They start clean, sure, and you can get many uses out of them, but after a while they start falling apart, holding on to gross things, and thanks to all those little holes on the inside they start growing nasty stuff like mold that make people sick.” 

Felix starts paling to a nearly green hue. It he going to throw up or something? Staring at the sponge like it’s drowned his whole family in the sink. “It can't be…squeezed out and…made okay again?”

Sighing, continuing on, “Sponges are tools. Lots of tools have a time they’re useful, but then they wear down and aren't good anymore. Sure, you can squeeze out some of the gunk, but not forever. Sponges especially aren't expected to last too long, which is why they are considered ‘disposable’ and that other sponge you’re still holding has been kept for way, way too long.” Why Aqua had a spiel on sponges, I will never know, but I've certainly gotten more use out of it then Ventus ever did.

Felix worriedly goes over to the trash and tosses that nasty thing out, so it’s not a misplaced sense of like, feeling bad for the sponge. He’s trying to stay in the moment, and helps clear that side of the sink, but he’s shaking so much he’s bound to drop something.

I grab everything out of his arms and shove them on the counter, turning back and grabbing him, “What’s wrong?”

He was quiet, trying to find his voice before a little scratchy, “JJ always called me helpful. …He called me a sponge. I'd absorb all the hurt. Like a sponge.” He barely made the next sentence out in building frantic energy, “Was he planning to throw me away? After I was broken from the hurt? After I grew nasty on the inside?”

“Some one of the light called you that?” Unexpectedly I feel my blood start to simmer, “That's just they’re like. Telling you the worst, most twisted things you ever heard in the most supposedly innocent way possible. I’m putting my foot down, no more calling JJ your friend. No more ‘once best friends’ none of that. Sick of this garbage. He lied to you, he hurt you, and he was using you.” My hands are squeezing Felix's arms tightly, and I let go unsure of when I grabbed him.

Felix in a full-blown sob, “I… I know…! I know but it’s so hard…I shouldn’t…but…I don’t know how to stop!” Hiding his face from me, bleeding shame, “He was my friend for so long. I - I’ve never lost a friend before.” 

“Go sit down or whatever, you’re useless when you're like this.” Creating about three Flood before remembering and summoning for others to assist in doing the chore.

Felix sobs and sobs. I sat there, crossed arms at him, tapping my foot impatiently for him to finish. 

Unfortunately for us Saix took a peek in, and saw that, “What’s going on?”

“He only just realized a ‘friend’ of his wasn't a friend. Doesn’t know how to handle it.”

Saix sighed, “While understandable, you can’t cry forever Felix.” And left.

Then about ten minutes Luxord saw when he came in for something, “He needs a distraction. Not to sit and stew. Why not have him help with the drying?” Pointing to the still very full sink. The Floods were struggling with that part, with no extra fingers to spare. So yeah, I had Felix do that. And it did bring him from full chested sobs, to just almost silently crying.

I got so bored I started cleaning too.

By the time we were almost done, we had one last visitor. Marluxia. He peeked over the two of us, “Have you seen a red glass cup?”

We had just cleaned it, and Felix quietly offered it after making sure it was dry.

Marluxia noticed the tears, “Something wrong in paradise?”

Felix mustered up enough to croak, “I…found out a friend…he wasn’t my friend.” Shaking his head somberly.

The pink-haired man nodded, then knelt down to whisper something to Felix. There was no malice from him, just a dull understanding of sorts. Whatever he told Felix, he’s told it to many others. The words made Felix perk up. The tears started to slow. Felix nodded, and whispered “Thank you.”

Marluxia left with little more than a pat to Felix’s shoulder. When the door shut, without missing a beat, I asked, “What did he tell you?”

“Live better than him, basically.” Felix started to smile, “I can do that. Heck I'm already doing so much better than him.”

“Oh yeah?” The dishes are all done on my end, just waiting for Felix, yet again.

“I get to live in the real world! With real friends! With you!” His smile is weirdly crooked, “He may have a whole world to control, but it's a fake world, limited, full of empty…empty…things! He wouldn’t get how cool it is out here!”

A strange, but appreciated mix of emotions from Felix. His despair burning up, and quickly turning into useful forms of anger and spite that he pours into finishing up.

As we left the kitchen to turn the ‘mission’ in, the last thing Felix had to say about it was, “He would not understand the beauty of a greater universe ever changing, unwritten, and limitless beyond anything any single system could fit into their memory. He would be mad that he couldn't hold it in the palm of his hand to destroy at a moment's whim.” Looking out into the distance, and squeezing their hand for emphasis.

I… don’t think that was Felix.

“Come on… get on the ship…get on the ship….!”

The foolish hero’s gummi ship finally, blessedly, roared to life. Easily escaping the atmosphere and with every passing second fell more and more into the proper flow of reality.

“That’s it! Call everyone up! The morning meeting has resumed!”

When the announcement came, I felt my blood turn to ice for a moment. Ugh, there back on.

Corridoring over as soon as possible, I made sure to smack Felix into shape, “Remember; only talk when asked to. Don’t fool around. Stand beside me and listen carefully.”

It was unneeded, Felix stood beside me perfectly like a statue, emotionally on his toes, ready as could be. Perhaps he remembered Xehanort’s punishment.

The pillars soon filled and the meeting commenced, “Greeting’s my fellows in dark matters. As you may now be aware, Sora, the hero, has finally left Arendelle.” 

A blip of joy was all Felix did, but he did not cheer out of turn. Good.

“So, as there should not be any news to really discuss, I would like to…talk shop shall we say.” The Master's evil grin beamed at all of us, “So, did everyone have fun on their vacations? I certainly hope none of you just wasted the time doing nothing. I would like all of us to reconvene at that plateau right there and tell me exactly what you learnt during your valuable down time.” 

Groans and pale faces all around, He’s not taking any prisoners.

“Larxene, you first.”

“ME first?” Rightly offended, “I didn't get a vacation! I was working in Arendelle the whole time!”

“And surely you learnt something from the process.”

Stomping on her heels, “You know what, I did! Against my element I learned how to form an ENTIRE ICE DUNGEON WITHIN MINUTES! That stupid little hero stood there speechless and let me create it unchallenged, he was so damned shocked! That good enough for you?!” 

“Yes.” He gestured to a spot, “Please stand here. Anyone who gets to stand here gets to assist in the punishment of the others who used their time poorly.”

The Devil lived in Larxene’s growing grin, prancing up to the spot, “Come on you guys! Surely you all learned sooomething?”

One by one, punishments were doled out to nearly everybody. 

When young Xehanort stood up I figured he’d get out of it somehow. The old man asking him, “And what did you learn, my younger self?”

“Nothing, it was a vacation- YEOUCH!” But no, received an electrified knife for that.

The old man glared, but that sick gleam in his eye was there, “Are you sure you don’t want to give that another try?”

Petulant to the end though his younger self just said, “That’s not going to magically change things!” 

Subsequently Xehanort broke his pinky with a quick snap. “Now stand over there to the left and be a good example to the rest. Ansem. Your turn.” The younger cursing away, and Ansem floating up confidant. 

“Did you know Soldier Heartless have an average weight of 80 pounds that varies by exactly 20% for every 100 pounds the person originally weighed?”

“You already knew that before even becoming a Heartless; you can’t trick me with cheap trivia!” Xehanort created an orb of searing light, temporarily burning Ansem’s mild disguise away. The strange orange eyes glared at the old man as he limped beside Young Xehanort.

Xemnas stepped up, stared at Xehanort blankly before sighing and ungloving his hands. Xehanort took this chance to fire magic and break his leg instead.

“Truly? Is this the best we have? Is nobody even going to try?”

Xigbar stepped up full of confidence, “I learned how to commit tax evasion and embezzlement against several different worlds!”

“See!” Xehanort snaps, “That's the sort of gumption we need! Get over here.”

Saix immediately snapped, “Yeah, he learned how to by committing it here against YOU!” Felix automatically slapped a thick packet of paper in his hand, “In this report you can see the magnitude of his thievery.”

Xigbar shouted, “WHAT?! I thought I got rid of that!”

Xehanort grabbed Xigbar by the hood, “Get out of here. Saix, you’re in. Xigbar, try again or else.” When he had nothing else, Larxene snickered and made sure he left with a few extra puncture wounds. 

Marluxia didn’t, Luxord tried and failed, Riku Rep failed before he even got a chance by making a smarmy comment. 

It didn’t even seem that hard to get out of, as long as you could vaguely fit the idea of ‘learning’ in. 

Vexen stepped up with a handful of paper reports ready and was immediately passed, Xehanort grumbling, “Spare me, I'm sure I will hear of it when it’s relevant.”

Pulling out his sitar Demyx immediately started strumming, “I learned a new riff for my sitar!” Xehanort immediately uses magic to temporarily cut the strings.

“While I wish you learnt something more practical, an artist learning more about his craft is indeed still learning.” Marluxia cursed in the back, as if he had just thought of something.

Walking up Demyx committed a stupid, “I also learned that I shouldn't ask Larxene out when she’s pissed!”

“Most people wouldn’t need to learn that; Larxene, how many times has he needed to ‘learn’ that?”

Rolling her eyes, “I stopped counting after seven.”

“Seven stabs and then he may stand with us.”

“NOT COOL DUDE!”

Xion stumbled up with a stuttery and confused, “I…learnt how to _{w-wash clothes, and sew buttons and do drugs.”} 

The old man blinked, “...I’m sorry I feel I must have misheard you, what did you say dear?”

“Cleaning silk sir.” Xion bowed her head in shame. Bleeding embarrassment out of every pore. Was silk really that embarrassing?

Xehanort paused, laughed, then in a snort, “Don’t understand why you’re ashamed, that’s a talent. You are good to go.” Xion let loose a deep breath and scurred to a spot with the others. Though unscared, I get the feeling that embarrassment was hurt enough for her.

I expected to go before him, but next up was, “Felix. Step up lad.”

Felix was utterly unable to hide his excitement, bobbing his way up in a happy skip, “Hello hello! I learnt lots during my vacation!!” 

“I saw you handed Saix something. A report?”

“Yep yep! It took me a few hours and a lot of math but we got it done.”

“Son, you wrote a report?” Xehanort looked confused, “What even was it about? What in the world could have been your contributions?”

“Yeah, that was the ‘101+ Time Xigbar Stole Munny and Tried to Hide It Report’! I made it with Saix, I mostly did lots of raw data analysis and number crunching. Saix had been aware something was wrong but wasn’t sure where or how it was happening.”

“So, it was still mostly Saix’s work. Have you something better than that?”

“I learnt about the flower people of Wonderland, how to take care of wool coats, lots of spells while helping you the other day,” WHAT?! “And that if you hit someone on the back of the head with a shovel you can knock them out!”

Baffled Xehanort asked, “Who did you hit with a shovel?”

Felix suddenly lost enthusiasm, and guiltily kicked a rock nearby as he muttered out and embarrassed, “Master Vanitas…”

Xehanort laughed, and motioned for Felix to move to the other side.

As he did Felix turned to me and mouthed, “You can do this boss!”

Yeah right. Xehanort ordered me up, and I know that look. The game is already rigged against me, “Anything to say for yourself?”

“At the last possible opportunity, I discovered I could be knocked out with a shovel.” Everything I had actually learned wouldn't be worth sharing, Xehanort wouldn’t see the value of any of it.

“Hm. You're right. A weakness that needs to be rectified. At the end of the meetings, we’ll draw lots and see who gets to hit you in the head with a shovel. We might be able to beat that out of you still.”

Prick.

“That’s the last one. Let us conclude the meeting with a drawing.” Luxord for some reason, provides the drawing supplies. Xehanort sends his younger to grab some random shovel from the base. Marluxia is poorly hiding his annoyance when he sees it.

Demyx got the first win. He was excited, but the second I braced myself, guilt stabbed him from inside. He basically just tapped me with the shovel.

“Put your back in it!” Larxene yells.

Demyx sputters, “Ah, hey! You know! Scientific method! Gotta make sure it wasn’t just cause the shovel got near him you know?” Everyone rolled their eyes.

Xehanort nods, “Good enough. Vanitas, Young Xehanort, Vexen and Felix. Remain. The rest of you, go forth and start your missions.”

Said rest quickly vanished away, as those of us called out begrudgingly assembled.

The old man turned to his younger form, “I am ashamed you didn’t even try. So, I want you before you go do your mission, to teach that one,” pointing at Felix. “Something.”

“I beg your finest pardon?” Young Xehanort practically spat.

“Teach him perhaps some of the basics of the keyblade. Something, anything. It’ll be a good learning experience for you.” Xehanort turns to Vexen and me, “Vexen will be here as an unbiased observer and Vanitas shall be an extremely biased one. I expect this not to interfere with any of your missions today.” And with that the old man walked through a corridor and left.

“This is stupid.” Sometimes it's very hard to believe that Young and Xehanort are the same person, “Hey, imbecile. Did you know hippos are incredibly dangerous animals?”

Felix gasped, “They are?? I had no idea! They seemed so friendly.”

Facepalming Vexen sighed, “You know that will never count. Come now, there must be some drop dead basic keyblade master training you can do within five minutes.” He shrugs, “Some sort of exercise? Some weird philosophical concept…?”

That reminded me of something, “Xehanort never gave me much traditional training, but he did make me start with some thing,” and in my best Xehanort impression, “All ‘about reaching the self within.’ Something like that.” 

Young Xehanort shuttered, “I will pay you good munny to never hear that voice out of your not face again.”

“50,000.”

“30,000.”

“60,000.” 

Young Xehanort stopped haggling, “But yes, I do remember that one. Why would I? It's stupid.” Pointing at Felix, “What’s your na- who cares, can you summon a keyblade already?” With the flick of the wrist he did so, Young Xehanort immediately groaning, “See! He can already do it! That’s going to be so hard to teach.”

Vexen, nosy and curious as ever, “Why? Seems fundamental.”

Young Xehanort doing his best calm teacher voice, almost like he was quoting someone, “You need to reach inside yourself, find yourself, in order to start. You cannot understand the heart of others if you cannot understand your own.” Then he shrugged, “But if you’re already talking to your heart enough to pull a key out of it, you not only don’t need to do the exercise, it can be hard to understand if it’s innate.”

Unlike much of the formal training, I do know this one to some degree. Master had me do this very shortly after the split. Having not remembered it from Ventus, it was a more pain filled activity then necessary. Stupidly simple, you just have to understand that the cryptic words are telling you something you already know how to do; get access to the Chamber of Awakening. 

Turning to Felix, “So? Think you can reach inside yourself?”

Looking down at his chest, “Maybe if I put a hole here-”

“Nothing physical Felix, this is all metaphorical heart stuff again.”

“Huh?” he looked up, “Wait so…reach inside myself, but not really?”

“Communicating with your heart, yes. The exercise is considered a success if a sign can be seen or if you report back the correct thing.” Young Xehanort shewed his hands at Felix, “Get on with it. Reach in and we’ll call it good.”

“I don't think I understand.” Crap, it was a while ago now, but Felix said something about the way he accesses his weapons. Something grid? Gear? Something… mat… rhex? Math-rex? Or…no that was something else? 

Vexen offers, “Well, now I am no expert in this, but perhaps a metaphor you would understand better would be perhaps like if you were entity 1, and had to reach further beyond you, to entity 0.”

Felix nods…and instead of putting a hand to his chest like everyone else does, he screws up and reaches forward.

Young Xehanort’s mouth opens to admonish when a horrid chill crosses and nature itself draws a breath of fear.

It appeared before Felix, instantly. All of us but him jumped away, he stared right at it head on. At first, I was sure it was Felix, but the longer I stare I'm both more and less sure. Then I saw its hands and realized there were two of them, floating as close as inhumanly possible, perfectly mirrored in sync. A face that’s always familiar, and a face that could never be so. Both make me think they’re maybe Felix but they are also both possibly women.

It shimmers, ethereal, blurry yet starkly clear, all naked but covered with coiling curious snakes, hair slightly longer waving like it's underwater. I can't tell if it's the normal color or white, my eyes can’t focus and keep trying to slide off the blighted clouds.

Cackling a mockery to even noise, the pair lean right up to Felix, lifting his head by one of both their clawed fingers to speak inordinate words laced with hot rancid sin. 

A crime taken too far; its existence was promptly rejected by nature. Gone as unnaturally as it had arrived. We stand there, the other two unable to even stare at where it was out of the instinctual need to protect their souls.

Felix blinks confused, wavering before falling on his but to the floor, wobbling, “Was that supposed to happen.” Before more confidently turning his head with a terrified expression, “W-Was that supposed to happen? Was that the sign? Did I do the thing?”

Young Xehanort blinked. “No.” Held his hand as if to say something more, but held back in obvious concerned thought. “That… could that have…no. No, I refuse.”

I couldn't help but rush right over to Felix, lifting up by his dumb hood, “You just talked to the embodiment of the heat death of the fucking universe!” Shaking him, “NO THAT WASN’T WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!”

Young then said, “We tell that old man we did it correctly. All normal, and we never, and I mean never, mention this… thing did that.” Pointing right at me, “Never let it do magic of this type ever again. How did it even get access to beings like that?” 

“I don’t take orders from you.”

Vexen put a heavy hand on my shoulder, “Never let Felix do that type of magic ever again.”

Goddamn it, “Then he can’t summon his keyblade; that was literally just heart to heart communication.” Heart to unbelievably distant 'heart' communication.

“Then don’t let him talk to that specific thing again.” The scientist shuttered, “Whatever that accursed thing was.”

Young now pointing at Felix, “When it comes to magic If you don’t understand it, don’t do it. Frankly, I should kill you. But if that was a taboo, nature will do it for me!”

“There’s something there now.” Felix is mystified, staring at the nothing in his head, but frightened, “Where it was empty, there’s something there now.”

“Leave it be. Do not touch it!” Young Xehanort flinching back in disgust, “Nothing good can come from it.” 

Deep in thought, Vexen wondered aloud, “What… was that exactly?”

“I don’t know- some deep impiety; I’d rather not find out!” Young Xehanort turned around, “I’m out of here. I’ve probably got enough barbie dolls who need their limbs torn off today.” Creating a corridor and fleeing as fast as he could.

Even that complete non sequitur couldn’t get my mind off the fact that Felix’s just did something impossible and stupidly monumentally dangerous. How in the bloody hells of all the worlds could he have done that? How? It’s just not possible to casually walking into summoning let alone summoning something like… like whatever the fuck that was.

“Vanitas.” Vexen shook me out of my thoughts, “Let’s head to the lab. Give him a quick once over. It’ll only be his, what 6th scan this week alone?”

Why does he feel the need to pretend that there is any levity to be had here? He’s worried. I just rolled his hand off my shoulder, “Let’s get this over with.” Creating the corridor.

With unusual silence, Felix follows us. Thinking. With a sense of calmness, I don't think I've ever seen anyone have.

Felix straps up for diagnostics, still thinking and not talking, Vexen and I chatted a bit about the circumstances.

“Huh, your proposal is that the creature we saw was not a summoned Eidolon or Aeon as traditionally described, but used the same technical procedure as one?”

“If translated into nerd, then yes. Approximately. Could use a localizer on that one.”

Sighing, shaking his head, “Sometimes I wish Zexion were still with the organization. Old magic like that was more his area of practice.”

Zexion eh? Alright Veen let’s figure that one out… “Zeion, Onzie, Eonzi…”

For some reason Vexen snorted, “Ienzo.”

“I was getting there, Veen.” Normally where I'd expect annoyance was just, weird melancholy. Pity. “What?”

“Nothing. Well for starters it's Even, but… Your apprentice this past week just…reminded me of foolish things.” Unprompted, unwanted, and out of nowhere, “You know he is a very good apprentice. He worked… unbelievably hard to heal you. Whatever it is you’re doing must be working; he was utterly ceaseless in his efforts.”

To be sure he understood the magnitude for which I am confused and mildly disgusted, I made sure to take the glass of my helmet as I stared at him, “Excuse me, what? I’m training him to be a vessel of Xehanort.” Now I know I’ve been training him to be a warrior of light for us, but I can't have people stating it out loud. “He’s not supposed to care about anything.”

“Oh well in that case you’ve failed miserably and made something better!” Actually, breaking out into laughter. 

Where is all this coming from? Is this even still the same man? “Did something happen to you?” This isn’t what I'm used to feeling from him. There hasn’t been a spec of pride all day. Not his own for himself at least.

He shrugged, “Soul searching. Decisions I put on the backburner have been decided upon. It’s not looking like I will be much of a backup after all, so certain…let's say parts of my persona felt a bit…” he rolled his hand a bit, looking for the word, “Unneeded. I’m not going to be a vessel after all, so I don’t have to pretend I'm an unparsable old man.” 

Said the weird ass unparsable old man.

Before we could get into that, the computer beeped and the readout was ready. As a bonus Vexen had pulled out an extra monitor and a few other things this time. Since Felix is data all the way down, we could get a live feed on his heart.

I don’t exactly need it, but something about the cold hand of technology confirming what I've always sensed, even being able to catalog and break it down to a minutia I can’t…well I can see why people become scientists. 

Vexen of course looked at it with greatly hidden concern under that face of very unimpressed annoyance, “You know most hearts are not actually heart shaped when inside of a being.” I could see his eyes pass over the holes, “And that should be death. Forget anything else, right to death. The microscopic ones would be extra death.”

“Felix, how did you get those holes empty again?” They had been choked with darkness. I’m positive about that. Now all that remained was the miniscule amount I somehow managed to get him to develop for himself. 

Felix looked at me and shrugged. His lips seemed to try to speak but he just shook his head. The lights overhead flicker briefly.

Pointing to some other screen, Vexen said quietly, “There is a drive, wayyy at the back that is completely full now. Previously it was entirely empty. He might be lagging a bit.”

Looking at the mess, a question came to mind, “Vexen, Is data of the light or darkness?”

“Hm…Both?” His confused tone was matched by his feelings, “Possibly neither? I can’t really give you an answer to that question, it reacts to both and can channel both and can be modified to handle ether safely. Determining something like that is entirely out of my scope of knowledge.”

“Aren't you a scientist? I thought getting answers to things was the point.” The lights overhead nearly threaten to go out, but stay on, “Was making sure they pay the electric bill not relevant enough to your research either?”

Flicking a hair out of his face, “Look, there is a lot of research to do and sometimes you have to stop looking at the fundamentals in order to get a move on. The Data I work with does what I need it to do. It runs my machines, it does my math, it emulates the conditions of hearts the way I needed it to. I understand enough to use and expand upon it for my needs. In this context it didn’t and still doesn’t matter to me what it’s made of, which can be both or neither.”

Felix suddenly shouted, “I bet Vexen’s stuff is made of the coolest data!” Before dropping to a more reasonable volume, “Though I think it could use more refactoring and wayyy more comments.”

Welp the yippy one’s yapping. And of course, the scientist is ultimately too lazy. I huff. Missions still need to be done sooner than later and it’s starting to get too close to noon for comfort. “Get Felix out of there, he seems well enough to me.” I end with one last question, not even sure if this is the right way to ask it, “What happens to data when it dies?”

“Dies?” Even more baffled than before, Vexen squinting an eye at me as he begins shutting things down, “What do you mean ‘when it dies’? Like when it’s deleted? That’s extremely complicated and you wouldn’t understand it. Data only ‘dies’ when it's all erased, usually only after a long time and it gets overwritten by something else or otherwise destroyed somehow. There is no death, it is only just gone. It's here, it might pretend to be gone but it's still here, then it's just gone. When data’s gone it just isn't anymore.” With an annoyed sigh, “Sufficient enough for you?”

“Felix?”

With a big smile, leaping off the table. “It goes and sits in the recycle bin.” 

Vexen snorting, “And when that is emptied?”

“You can empty it?” Looking scandalized.

It will have to be. I grab Felix, “Come on, we’re already going to be punished hard enough for this.”

When we got to the breakroom the last thing I was expecting was a line. Normally I wouldn’t deal with the Young jerk again but I can’t help but ask in a whisper as we join him at the end of the line, “What? You guys are still here?”

Leaning to me weirdly energized, “You just missed Larxene throwing not only the biggest hissy fit over not getting a vacation, but she actually succeeded in getting Saix to give her one!”

“Huh.” Holy crap I'm almost impressed. Almost.

We didn’t wait for long. I guess during her tantrum Saix got his ducks in a row ready to hand them out. People grabbed their missions and headed out one by one in short order.

For some reason before Xion leaves, she makes a point to pass by me with her gross Ventus face- excuse me with her completely blank replica face, and with a not voice says, “Good luck out there.” What does that mean? Then after the Replica got his, he swore and stood to the side, like he was waiting for something.

Reaching the front Saix unusually turned to Felix first, “You and Riku have a mission coming up. Today you two will converse and come up with a plan to complete the mission. Felix, this is a very big responsibility because it’s your first real assignment for the Organization.”

“You’re telling me I don’t get to be there for my apprentices first mission?”

“No.” His face an unmoving block, but I detect a hint of deception.

“Assholes.” Saix rolls his eyes and makes a point to push Felix towards Replica, I can’t help but snap, “Doesn’t he finally get a coat of his own?”

Now there’s the tiniest spec of guilt, “There is no time for that-”

Growling, getting right up in Saix’s stupid face, “You know that people can’t enter the corridors without some form of defense, ‘No time for that’ No time to make sure my apprentice doesn't get turned into a Heartless or something worse?! I'm making time, get him a damned coat already!” Jabbing Saix right in his stupid scar.

Glaring, anger building. “No.”

Swearing the whole way, I toss mine at Felix, “Take this, go to your mission. We fix it later.”

Felix catches it easy and slips it on, “You got it boss! I’ll do my best!” Give a stupid little salute.

Riku Rep rolls his eyes and gags, before making a corridor, grabbing Felix and dragging him in.

Turning back to Saix, “Why?!”

“I just wanted him gone before I handed you this.” Handing over the mission card, “I didn’t hand him a coat because we don't actually have any in his size. They’re all either too long or far too big for him. I will contact Vexen about making the correct size coat.”

“And you didn’t do this sooner because…?!” Trying hard to curb my still building rage.

“Truthfully I didn't think the Master would ever accept him.”

Fair e-fucking-nough. Sick of looking at him I turned my attention to the card, “Okay so I doubt she told me good luck with this in mind.”

“You need to get a replacement Coat.”

Slamming my fist into the desk, “You are driving me crazy! I have my dark suit; I don't need the stupid coat! What do I need one of the stupid coats for?”

“It’s a uniform.” Saix, for some reason, handed me a coat of my size from behind the counter.

“DID YOU KNOW THIS WOULD HAPPEN?! You know what, forget it, I'm leaving.”

“No, you're not.”

Freezing up, “What NOW?”

“Apologizes, you’ve never had a mission where you’ve had to discuss the details with me in my office have you?”

“What??” Looking at the massive desk that I have received all of my prior missions from, “Isn’t THIS your office?”

“No. This is a public desk. My office is just down this hall.”

Just my luck. Can it get worse- Xehanort.

I could be marching down the hall to talk with Xehanort.

“Ugh, let’s get this over with already!!” 

Chapter Text

Before me and Riku even exit the corridor, I make sure my eyes are green. It’s kinda fun, I wonder if Master would let me keep them that way? Hmmm maybe that’s too big of a change from being me…

Riku turned around and spread out his arms, “Welcome to this sand pit I've been stuck working in the past month or so.” Sighing then dropping his arms, “For some reason it’s called ‘Twister Trench’ and before you ask; No. I don’t know why.” 

It’s about twice as long but half as wide as the Unversed Valley, and has way fewer keyblades, almost none. “It’s spacious!”

“Not for long.” He starts walking to a wall, “First, let’s check in with Xemnas and then I can get us started with a few things.” Then he stops with a slow sigh, Riku turning to me almost embarrassed, “I know… this is going to sound stupid but can you go back to…to normal for a bit. I…need to keep up the appearance, k?”

My eyes in a blink turned back to blue and he immediately looked pained, “Yep. Just follow along and be yourself.” Turning away all angry. Even the crushing of the rocks as he walks sounds more angry.

Knocking on a random wall boulder, it parted with a hydraulic hiss and he darted inside, with a sharp whisper, “Get in quick! Don’t let the cool out!” With quick steps I poke my head in, and he finishes by yanking me in and closing the door. It was a lot colder in here, like shivering levels of cold. A weird mist started leaving our mouths, that’s not a music world thing? 

I’d ask Riku but it looks like he’s bracing himself for being hit by a shovel.

The room was not super large, my head telling me it was like a dentist waiting room, whatever that means. I guess small and beige with chairs. Another door with a frosted glass window was against the far wall. Riku held his arm with his head down for a moment, and seemed to be building himself up, before finally looking up and walking to the door, knocking on it carefully.

After a moment of waiting, the door opened up, and Xemnas walked in with one of his weird grins, “Ah yes… it is finally time. Please…” Generously gesturing towards one of the blue fabriced waiting room chairs, “Sit Felix. Let us… discuss the matters at hand.”

I sat on the chair. Riku plopped down in the other kinda angrily. He looked cross at me, and slapped my crossed leg’s down. Was that not okay?

Xemnas approaches Riku, and slaps his head hard enough that a puff of darkness comes off it. What was that?

But he continues non pulsed. “This mission… is in San Fransokyo. A world that Sora…frankly… should have already been to.” He shook his head disappointedly, “You truly can lead a horse to water… But his…obstinance is…tolerable in this instance. For you see… it gave you the chance to be ready…Felix.”

Bouncing in excitement, “What’s the mission boss?”

He sat with perfect posture, and with one leg over the other, “As all…of our missions. We must introduce ever more…doubt into Sora’s heart. By taking advantage… of this Replica’s appearance we wish…to trick the hero into thinking…that this Replica is the True Riku from the past. From the Time when our comrade Ansem… was in control.”

“Ohhh, did Mr Master Xehanort not actually take that Riku from that time because Ansem is already here?”

Xemnas pointed at me with a smile, “Impressive. You have been…paying attention. That is Correct.” But his face fell into seriousness, “Part of why… I want you here to assist in teaching the Replica how to behave more like Riku…To help with his deception.” Now gesturing towards Riku, “Tell me; what are your thoughts of how this Replica behaves… compared to his visage?”

“Well. I mean… I never really met the Real Riku…but there are two big stand outs to me.” I put my hand on Riku…plica, “Hey for all I’m about to say, don’t take it personally okay?”

“I’ll take it as personal as I want.”

“Okay.” taking my hand away and twiddling my fingers a bit, “Well you kinda suck as a Riku copy. There’s two really big fla- Hmm… differences.”

Rikuplica all but roared in my face, “Say WHAT?!”

“You’re way, and I mean waaaaay too angry. I’m not saying Riku is never an angry guy, but he likes being cool above anything else. He tries to keep it in check, he always ways to be like… like the big guy! Large and in charge! He’s the older kid of the group. The boss, and the boss doesn’t lose his cool! He keeps his anger at a simmer until it's too much and THEN gets angry and shouty. If he ever even makes it to that point.” I try mimicking him, but like a normal mimic in my voice, “He’s more of a dark sneer or one liner kinda guy.”

“I NEVER GET ANGRY AND JUST START SHOUTING!” Rikuplica shouted three inches away from my face.

Turning carefully to Xemnas, pressing a hand between me and Rikuplica, “I mean… that's just what I think. You actually talked to Riku before, right Mr. Xemnas sir? Is he actually like that? I’ve got no personal experience; it’s all just data in my head.”

He nodded, “Yes…though not the most… eloquent way to phase it. You put the matter in words… better than I have. The Replica might…respect your insight more than mine...”

Replikica got out of my face with a very spitty scoff, “Fine!” Looking back at me with glare, “What’s the second FLAW ?” 

Titling my head, “Do you think about how guilty you are? And how it’s all your fault?”

He looked perplexed and annoyed, “What? What do I have to be guilty for? No.”

“Then you’re a really bad copy of Riku.”

Vanitas grumbled the entire way down the call, “Saix, what the hell do you need to talk to me for?”

“This is a very big mission-”

“Is it though? Killing people was 90% of my job when I was his apprentice. I don’t need my hand held.”

“Shush!” Holding back from smacking him, whispering, “This is a sensitive matter and only ones with this knowledge are you, me, and Xehanort. This must be a covert operation.” Back to normal volume, “Surely you’re not that offended by my office. You’ve visited it before with your horrid plant monsters.”

“Mandrakes.”

“They are still there, and won’t let me get the papers they are nearby without killing them.”

“Kill 'em, I don't care.”

We finally make it to the room, I unlock the door and we step in, Vanitas immediately taking the office chair behind the desk instead of the chair in front of it. Whatever.

He leans back, and I sit, saying “Your mission today is to assassinate fellow organization member Xion.”

“Okay.”

For once, I was bit taken aback, “...Any questions?”

“No.” None?

“...You will be required to go to a world called ‘Destiny Islands,’ do you require a portal there?”

“No, I've been before.”

“You’ve been there before? It’s on the list of banned worlds.”

“Do you guys not dump bodies there anymore? Cause that’s always where Xehanort ordered us to. Xehanort hates that place.”

“We don’t exactly have bodies to dump.” After a pause, “It’s…unusual. Most people still usually ask why, even if they don’t have any complaints about the action.”

Spinning idly in the chair, “Half the time she looks like one of them light suckling cowards. Is that not a good enough reason to off her?” 

I have to hold back my rage, he was basically raised by Xehanort all alone. Having basic tact was never in the cards for him. “She has committed treason against us. So she must be eliminated and replaced again.”

“Props to her non-existent brass ones, a shame she was too brainless to make use of them.”

Keep it together Saix. Just get it out, “Do not underestimate her. Being a partial manifestation of the keyblade hero-”

“Why is she a girl then?”

Admonishing, “Vanitas you just don’t ask questions like that. Being a partial manifestation and that she has received training the entire time she has been among us she is no easy fight. I assume Xehanort didn’t give you this job idly.” Or he gave it to you, so you’d die along with her.

“Fine fine if you really think she’s that big of a deal, what more can you tell me? She’s got a key? She likes fire magic a lot? Give me something useful.”

“Xehanort had a few specific notes…” I can't help but sigh deeply at the most embarrassing one, “Along  with notes of her battle prowess we have conflicting reports on whether she was using illicit substances. Via her own admission she was using them but a drug test showed she has not nor ever has been using drugs.”

That got him to pause and look at me, “Wait, what? She was on drugs? Why?”

“I don't know, the stranger part is she was getting them from Felix.”

“Where the hell was HE getting drugs?!” Standing up clearly about to leave. “What the hell were you all doing when I was out?!”

“I don't know! Sit down. We can find out later, I’m sure it was a ridiculous misunderstanding.”

Vanitas crossed his arms, and dropped himself back in the seat, “Okay, anything actually worth noting?”

“When you kill her, all of your memories of her will be erased.”

There is a pause. Vanitas non visibly glaring at me, “I'm not letting you clowns touch my memoires.”

“You won't have a choice in the matter, it is a direct result of her nature.”

“Will I get in trouble for that? I kill someone and then nobody knows who she was, am I going to get in trouble for killing no one?”

“No. It won’t erase that you went on a mission.” With a headache brewing I told him the last of it, “Xehanort specifically wanted you to know, above all else, ‘Full power. No restrictions.’ In his exact words.”

Vanitas froze. Then softly there was a snort, then a giggle, then the a full on laugh of a lunatic, as he created his portal without another word, laughter still trailing behind him the entire way.

I moved back to my seat. Readjusted some papers.

It wasn't specified who saw her or even what they saw her doing. The evidence is flimsy, but evidently she did something foolish. She had lasted the longest of those that had been brought here…

When Xehanort told me of this mission, I asked a question, and some of his words seemed to be trapped in my head.

“What if he fails his mission?”

“He won’t. Xion is nothing to him.”

“Come on…! You can do it…!” We were outside of Xemnas’s office now, and Rikuplica’s face twisted funny, “That’s it, come on, guilty-er…! Guilty-er….! That’s it you’ve got it! You have nailed the existential angst!”

With no boss around, my eyes were back to green, and subsequently Rikulipca was in a good mood. After mastering the most Riku expression possible, he broke out into a laugh, “This is stupid…”

“Yeah but you’re doing great! Replica? Who's that? Clearly this is Riku! He’s the Rikuest Riku who ever Rikued, just short of Rikku. Who Rikku’s a different Rikku.” Is Riku a word anymore?

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah yea, enough of that!” Pushing me aside, “Now that I've mastered method acting in the span of an afternoon, maybe you can help me with the other part of the mission.” He paused, considering me, “You like dumb kiddy surprises right?”

“Heck yeah!” 

“Cover your eyes then, I'll be right back.”

Oh oh, what’s it gunna be this time? Ohh I hope it's not anything resembling something from my past that will wildly upset me like last time! Maybe a scorpion? Those are cool. Does Riku like insects? Hmm…

The crunch crunch crunch of his feet vanishes. But in just about a minute or so they return, “Alright, are you ready Felix?”

Rocking on my feet, unable to hold in a squeal, “Can I have a hint??”

“It’s new tech we made from a combo of a few things, some we got off the world. Check em out.”

I open my eyes and-

One second Felix is acting like a perfectly happy man-child, the next he points at the darkube, unhinges his jaw and screeches bloody murder at the thing.

The unsentaint brick, supposed to be under my direct control, flees behind me along with all the other cubes, forming a perfect line between me and him that would block them from Felix’s immediate view.

He stopped screaming for a moment. Closed his mouth. Just staring at me like he was a totally normal person who hadn’t just done that. 

That had been so loud a portal opened up and Xemnas poked his head out, “Everything … progressing smoothly…?”

“Felix lost-” his eyes returned to blue, “His nonexistent mind at the sight of the darkubes.”

“Darkube? What are those? I was screaming at bug blox.” Felix’s eyes twitch, “I just… I really, really don’t like bugs. But if they're your guy's  bugs… I mean, are they bad bugs? Can bugs be good?”

Xemnas seemed the tiniest bit confused but calmly said, “No… the darkubes are a combination of some of our research… and technology taken from San Fransokyo. They are mostly microbots…” After a moment of consideration, “Much like the Unversed… They are…’allies’.”

“Friendly bug blox??” Felix suddenly starts trying to look behind me. The cubes still hide opposite of him as Felix darts around to swap sides. “Hello friendly blox! I won’t try to hurtcha anymore.”

Stepping out of the dark portal, Xemnas effortlessly commands one to float on his pointer finger. Observing it as he says, “We are… still working out a few issues… But they more than suffice for now.” Offering the Cube to Felix.

The second it touches his hand, the cool blue pattern on it turns red. Felix pats it, “Hey there little guy, are you not evil anymore? Do you promise not to encroach and encompass and destroy the land~?  Do you~? Awww who's a good non-world destroying cube~?” Rubbing his face against it.

Pointing at him, turning to Xemnas, “Is he…?”

“Yes it appears he is baby talking to the cube.” That might be the fastest sentence I've ever heard Xemnas speak.

Nervous cause I don't want to get beaten for this, “Felix stop that.”

“Okay.” Instantly stopping. No fuss like usual.

Xemnas visabley raised an eyebrow to that, “That was…quick.”

“Felix is a bit of a pushover.” As a demonstration, “Felix do a handstand.” Putting the cube on his head and he unquestionably leaped up on to his hands. The cube was somehow already listening to his commands, as it followed and floated with his head as he did so.

“Hmmm…interesting.” Xemnas drawled, but It was soon back to business. “Are the… lessons going well?” Nodding a bit, “I think…they are already paying off. You seem much…calmer.”

“Yeah, yeah, we're taking a bit of a break from that. Figured it wouldn't hurt to get more training in with the bl- the darkubes.” Dang it now Felix’s has got me saying it too.

“That is-” Xemnas suddenly stopped and looked blank, almost a hint of shock. I turned around to see what the issue was and Felix is somehow increasing and decreasing the size of the cube but just holding its corners and pulling in and out his arms.

After a few moments of doing this quickly, he notices, “Oh uh. Just…playing with the scale.” Trying to hide the now meter by meter cube behind his back.

“That… shouldn't work .” Xemnas is threatening to make a true expression on his face, but he schools it back in, “Interesting development…. You two should… Keep up the good work.” Leaving though another portal.

“Didja hear that Riku?? I think we just did something cool!”

“Can it. You’ll need to do more than that to get control of these things. Xemnas is still tweaking the control program, and there’s still a lot of other stuff you have to know. Like did Vanitas ever teach you about stealth and laying low?”

“Of course he did!”

“In a city with nearly 18.4 million people?”

He gasped, “People can count that high??”

My documentation on the Replicas is going smoothly, organized nicely. It took many weeks but the Unversed, once they figured out my sorting method, had helped speed it along nicely. Yes…The time is fast approaching…

As a ‘Scrapper’ Unversed grabs another pile, it suddenly freezes. All of the Unversed had. It was eire how silent the lab got, the constant scuttling of Unversed had been a backdrop noise for weeks now.

After a few seconds, the Unversed started to come back into motion with exaggerated swagger. That Scrapper taking his papers was skipping, the Flood were practically dancing, and the Icy Pots twirled in the air as they continued the rounds.

“Ah. Hm.” Turning to my right, where a ‘Ringer’ was doing some calculations, “Is this…a good sign?”

This particular Unversed was the only one I had found to have the capacity for speech, somehow without a mouth. It normally has droll and peculiar statements but today it merely said, “Likely not.” In a voice that sounded like Vanitas whispering and putting on a cartoonish mimic of something, “For you at least. They may be called away; Vanitas got permission to go full power. No restrictions.” 

Oh.

Today is…yes. That mission was today.

With a clap of my hands two Dusk stand at attendance, “You, get Xion some Sea Salt ice cream.” It bows and leaves, to the other “And you, bring Vanitas…I don’t know what he likes to eat.” 

I turn to the Ringer, the pot thing attempts a shrug, “Something sweet?”

That seems…odd to me. With a sigh, “Bring him a high quality protein shake or something. Put a sticky note on it saying, ‘for full strength’ or something.” That also doesn’t feel right, but…

Neither make for a worthy final meal. 

It was the hottest part of the day. As payment for me teaching Felix how to sneak, speak, and snake in crowds, he messed with the ‘scale’ of a few more cubes so we could have slightly cooler cubes to sit on instead of the scorching rocks. Plus a few to hover above as shade. We were supposed to be talking about more mission stuff.

Though as it was, we were totally off topic and had been for an hour. Felix was lying down kicking his legs, “Xehanort said he was going to rename me right? Do you think it’ll be Replica Sora?”

“Hope not, from experience this name sucks. It gets confusing in a hurry when you talk about the idiot you have to share a name with.”

“Yeah, but then again people could call me Replora or Soreplica.” Scratching chin, “Hmm…. Replora’s  better. But I dunno, Felix is so much more better, cause it's mine you know?”

I was chuckling but I couldn't not be honest, “Ew.” Maybe all that ‘report’ stuff Xemnas was going on about wasn’t that bad of an idea after all. I finally found someone I can… shoot the breeze with. We don’t even benefit from the whole looking like Riku and Sora thing, and neither of us are anything like those two dingbats anyways. I'm smarter than Riku and Felix is way, way more gullible than the real Sora could ever hope to be.

“It’s even a name with an X in it like a lot of the other guys.”

“That’s a Nobody thing.”

“Oh, that means if I didn’t, he’d think I'm somebody worth naming?”

“...Sure. Whatever makes you sleep at night.” Catching a glimpse of the time on my watch, “Ugh we gotta get back on track.”

“So, I'm helping you with these guys right?” Rolling over and patting the cube, “Do you want me to be on the world to help direct them?” I hate to admit it, but Felix can control these things way better than I can. He just gets them, and they get him. That’s what he said at least, but…

“Xemnas hasn't actually said what you’ll do on world. I’ve been operating on the idea you won’t because he hasn't said anything about it.” It’d be nice to not have to worry about them, but we don’t get nice things.

“Think I could convince him to let me join you? With the whole, taunting the heroes thing?”

He is a dead ringer for Sora but, “Not that I'm against it, but how would we explain that you’re him from the past and working for us? The only time that could have happened totally failed. Plus I don’t think that’s how the whole heart though time thing works, he’s still here and talking and all.”

“Do Sora and them know that limit? I thought they didn't, which is why you're pretending to be past Riku.”

“...No. Maybe. But at what point would Sora have ever fallen to darkness? Isn’t he some perfect light hero guy or something?”

Pondering, Felix smiling a bit, “We aren't limited to like, younger Sora. I can pretend to look older. But I don't know enough about later Sora to really be a bother.” Wagging his fingers, “Oooooo~!! I know you hate your body, cause one day it was yours and the next day it wasn’t but it was but it wasn’t ooooh~!! Like that's just rude. That’s not even like…the correct sort of upsetting.”

I don’t get it. “Yeah that’d be dumb. Got any actual ideas?”

“Well we can lie. I can think of a time Sora might be very vulnerable, something spooky, I dunno, I think you’d be better at the whole hurting thing but I could do some of the disturbing, maybe. Ohh, think we could trick them into thinking other timelines are possible?”

“No, why? That sounds so over complicated. What would that accomplish?”

“But isn't part of your mission making up stuff about the Bay man heart thing?”

“Yeah but that's easy and already scripted.”

“I’m only asking about the other timeline thing, cause what if I pretend I’m a Sora that can’t exist in this scenario? But like a sad tragic Sora!”

“Okay you’ve totally lost me, a Sora that can’t exist?”

“Yeah yeah! But if timelines are a no go, what about pretending I’m a creature from a nightmare? Vanitas muttered about them once, dream devourers?”

“What?? Felix what are you talking about, that makes even less sense! What are you after with all this stuff?”

Tossing up his hands, so excited he nearly threw himself off the cube, “A Sora that would make the other Sora feel really bad and guilty! You know, that whole, doubt thing and your whole bad information thing but with a Riku and a Sora.”

Before I could reply, a cold voice spoke up, “That…will not be necessary.” A chill went up my spine as I spun around to face Xemnas. Felix did too, but way too casually. Xemnas is about to do something again.  Xemnas motion towards me, “Riku Replica, I believe I have… found the answer to the Darkube… issues.” Patting Felix on the head, “You stay here Felix. We will be away…for just a moment.”

My gut sank with every step, with every step towards that door I just knew it was going to be something beyond horrible. 

Xemnas had to repeat the order twice before it sank in. Even depraved creep Vanitas wouldn’t ask me to do something like this.

I feel so used.

Chapter Text

Destiny Islands, what a shit place to kill someone. With all this wet beach sand, you can’t always get stable footing, cause that’s just what you want in a fight. A chance to flip a coin and die cause the floor won’t hold still.

I arrived on the world via the cave near the world’s keyhole, only slightly surprised to see it graffitied wall to wall. This island in particular always seemed to have children on it, I guess it only took them a few generations to finally find it and rub their filthy little mitts on it. Peering out of the mouth of the cave and between the leaves, I spot Xion in the distance under an old wooden bridge picking at something in the sand.

Strategy is a key factor in more complex fights like this. In that position, I could easily sneak over and kill her, but it’s a special occasion. Can't waste it being perfectly efficient. I already have my remnant killing kit equipped with a few of Vexen’s elixirs just in case, though I won't need them. Frankly I have the golden bottles on me for show.

No restrictions, full power!! It’s hard suppressing the pure giddy feeling, this just happens so rarely! Couldn't believe it when Saix said so. Had to have the Flood hiding on him confirm it for me, No restrictions! FULL POWER! Fuck yeah!

Down the cave, I hear a corridor open, who or what the hell is about to ruin everything for me? With only the sound of wobbling and not a single note of emotion I can tell it's one of the Nobodys before I see it, slinking around the corner to me.

They’re intelligent right? Does it understand that I’m angry and glaring at it? Must be, it bows, apologetically, before offering me a bottle. Snatching it there a note attached to it, ‘For full strength.’ The Dusk scuttles back and leaves. 

Even a drink? I take it from the creature. Another look at Xion… It seems I've got some time. She’s staring at someone working and they are busy. I’ve got a minute or twenty to set up something real special…

This is a very strange mission. But I think it’s just cause it’s really…normal? But evil normal. When Saix gave it to me, I thought it was a mistake of some kind. Not since the last Organization have they let me do any kind of recon. Wasn’t I under orders to like, never go anywhere ‘relevant’ without supervision? Plus it was recon for specifically scoping out targets for kidnapping ? I mean I always knew Xehanort was more evil then Xemnas but…it feels off brand somehow.

For the first hour I waited. And waited. Expecting someone to come and… But no one did. Only a Dusk, with ice cream. ‘Don’t get burned out there!’ From Vexen. Was he always this nice? Is that why he had to go away during the Castle Oblivion thing?

Once I got to the islands, I was a little embarrassed cause now I can see why they picked me. This was a community of almost entirely locals, looking like one was the only way any of us could get close without it being the dead of night or something. After a quick change of clothes, I wasn't hassled by anyone. Lots of ‘oh hey Kairi’s or ‘oh hay Sachi- oh my mistake’s but otherwise I was totally overlooked. Riku Replica was too young to be Riku to anyone here, Felix was both too young and way too alerting, and Vanitas…

Well he’s kind of a freak? And really not that much like Sora at all . 

After a good two more hours on the search I think I'm going to have to report a bust. The mission instructions were very particular: The candidate has to be close to the Lights, they have to be helpless, and most important of all is their absence should be clean and leave the community unharmed and unaware. That last one alone nearly took everyone off the list, but I double checked to be sure. 

Wakka and Tidus were top performing athletes, far from helpless, surrounded by fans and teammates who will all definitely be affected by their leaving and make it a pain to snag them unnoticed. Riku’s mother seemed like a good target at first, she’s really small; even shorter than I am! But she’s extremely perceptive. I'm basically positive she saw me instantly, thought something was off, and then when she realized she was being followed she kept hiding in large crowds of people, pretty smart. Later I learned her husband was the deputy. Kairi’s adoptive dad is the mayor. I couldn’t even find this one ‘Selphie’ person and Sora’s parents…

Well I found his dad’s grave. About an hour later his mom, one Sachiko, carrying a large amount of lumber and piling it all in a boat. I can see why even if I had looked like her, no one thought I was her; even when she’s sitting cross legged in her boat you can tell she's TALL and BUILT. Riku’s mom practically materialized out of nowhere to say something to her and she laughed. She might not look much like Sora with all that long black hair, but it’s clear where he got his smile from…

She’s the last one I have to investigate, and sadly my best target so far. People…look at her funny. Avoid talking to her or passing by her. She doesn’t seem to have a consistent job, she did like four within this hour. And right this moment, she’s heading out somewhere. Alone. 

…I mean she doesn’t look helpless exactly but…

It takes me a bit to figure out she’s heading to the play island. I watch her partly hidden by the bridge but don't really feel the need to that much. She seems to be playing the role of some type of carpenter, replacing boards, putting in new ones, all with a seemingly effortless grace. If nothing else I can lie about it to get them to leave her alone. After all who else will fix the houses?

Would it- no. Shuhhh. Xion this isn’t the time. She’s working and is probably very worried about Sora as it is. I'd love to know more about Sora and his family and all but…it’s just not the time. The mission’s over. I could RTKG right now…but now I'm on that nice little island again with all the best shells…

I’ll wait until she leaves. Say it was part of my recon and then I'll go home. Easy.

After what I can only figure as basically replacing the entirety of the shack, checking up on the stability of the bridges, taking one look at the ‘bridge’ on the back of the island where she has a defeated huf after glaring at her watch, she piles up all her tools and gathers up her left over wood. 

“Hey.” Jumping back when I realize she's looking right at me, her expression so serious it makes her red eyes kind of scary, “Looks like your boat got loose. Need a ride back?” Tossing a thumb back to the pier.

I shake my head no. Then I stutter out, “I- I’m good. I have a way back.”

Her grin is all teeth, “If you’re sure. Replaced that broken radio in the shack last month if it ain't.” Getting into her boat and paddling away.

That was it. Everyone close to Sora…that can never be taken away from here. I watch as her boat shrinks as it gets farther and farther away… Just as I'm about to RTKG, my train of thought is interrupted by the sounds of footsteps approaching through the sand.

There are no more boats on the dock. So it can’t be an islander.

...I really trusted them for a moment. 

Took them at their word... Don’t kid yourself Xion, you knew something was wrong the whole time. Pocketing the shells I had found, I took a deep breath. It was probably Marluxia, Vanitas, or Xigbar. Without turning my head, I say calmly, “You’re late. I almost RTKG’d.”

A voice a little too close to Sora’s responded, “Used to assassination, are we?” Ugh, it’s Vanitas. He had the chance to approach me and not be weird about it but still felt like being a creep anyways.

“After the five or so attempts in my last life, it’s a bit hard not to be. You’re just the next person who’ll fail.”

“Aww, was I not the first pick to off you? What’d they pick Demyx and he procrastinated too much again?” What does Felix see in this…freak?

“Shut up, jerk. You know what I meant.”

“Clearly someone evidently succeeded, being how you’re in a replica’s body like the rest of us.” He wasn't wrong. I don't know who killed me last time. If I'm lucky it was Roxas, but Sora ended up destroying the last organization, so it was probably Axel…

At this point Vanitas summons his keyblade, and gets into a battle stance. It looks like a feral mockery of Riku’s. I stood to face him and summoned my own keyblade, which caused him to pause for a moment, before snorting.

Always something with this guy. Sighing, “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. My name is Xion, and I was a puppet created by the original organization to gather hearts for Kingdom Hearts.”

The long pause and mild slouch to his pose gave me the idea that something I said really threw him for a loop, but he just stanced up propper again with a sarcastic, “I’m Vanitas, I’ll be the one walking away today.” Launching into his attack by lobbing a fireball my way.

Readying a block, just before it hit, it suddenly split into five wickedly fast whisps, forcing me to drop into an impromptu dodge roll. At least I only lost a few hairs to that trick. Returning to my feet, he popped out of the sand practically right under my feet to slash me; my arms flew up and took the brunt of it before I slammed into the rock wall. Dang it he’s fast!

But Axel was faster. I can’t lose hope yet, the battles only started! Flipping onto the ledge I narrowly dodged another of his underground attacks by an inch. He dived back in. This time I noticed it; a little shadow rippling along the ground where he was. With a deep breath I centered myself. Casting cure on my arms. He might have gotten me good, but he can’t intimidate me with his cheap tricks.

The next time he leaps from the shadows, I return the favor in full. A large slice and a hiss were all I got.

Instantly he changed gears, never letting up on the aggression. No time to think of any fancy counter measures, for a while it's just a trade of blows and blocks. Going for a strong down word swing, I expected him to block again but instead pulled back to dive into a slashing wave, another dodge roll helped me clear it, but left me punished by his own downward strike. I can’t just dodge forever; I've got to dish it all right back! Kicking his knee in, I leaped up, tanking his next attack with a leaf bracered cure, and retaliating with a blast of Ragnarok. 

Diving hard to avoid the small beams, he sent another of the splitting fireballs my way. Air dashing at it, I darted through it with a lightstep, changing briefly into a orb of light, exiting and closing the distance with a spinning slash technique I inherited from Sora. I believe it’s name was Vortex? Vanitas must have thought it was just another move, but the strike sent him flying. Axel always side stepped it, so I was a tad shocked at its effectiveness. 

Before I could capitalize on it I heard his voice from behind me, “Pathetic!”

My feet start running before I could think, just barely avoiding the slam of Vanitas’s oversized keyblade. Instincts eventually forced me to turn back to block, eyes widened at the crater his attack left behind. But I never should have taken my eyes off him. Picking my face out of the surf after being clobbered in the back of my head reminded me of that.

“Try dodging this!” Shouting, I launched several blue beams of light. It’s more an area of effect spell better for heartless hunting, but even with his hellish speed he ain't dodging this!