Chapter Text
All parents love their kids. That’s something that Fundy has heard a lot about, but that doesn't mean it's true.
Fundy knows that his parents say they love him, but he just doesn’t feel loved by them. Maybe he was just too ungrateful. Maybe he was just too spoiled. Or what if it’s because Wilbur and Sally ignore how Fundy feels?
No. That’s not true; Fundy’s parents care about him, right? Wilbur said that he was the one who loved Fundy most. Sally said she’d be there for Fundy no matter what. But then again, Wilbur said that Fundy couldn’t do anything right. Sally never has any time for Fundy. She’s always sleeping or working.
Whatever. If his parents did something wrong, it didn’t matter anyway. Fundy should be grateful to even have a family. He should be able to accept and love his parents for giving him a roof over his head and food on his plate. But that’s the thing; he can’t. As much as Fundy wants to accept his parents for who they are, he just can’t.
Why is he still not over this yet? He’s 13 years old and should know that every family is probably like his. Probably. But then why was Fundy so different from all the other children? Fundy could think of a billion questions, but they’re all the same questions, and unfortunately, Fundy did not have enough time to think about the answers as he heard a knock coming from the bathroom door. It's not like Fundy would be able to answer one question without asking another one anyway.
Fundy looked in the mirror to make sure he didn’t look too bad. His eyes were a little red and puffy, but hopefully no one would notice.
As always, his hopes were crushed, like when Wilbur becomes nice all of a sudden and then goes back to insulting Fundy. Shut up. Just shut up. Fundy wishes his thoughts never existed. He needs to focus on reality, and if he thinks too much, he can’t focus on anything.
"Fundy, are you okay?" Sally’s voice was soft and sounded concerned.
His mother’s voice snapped Fundy out of his racetrack of thoughts and brought him back to reality.
"Yeah, I’m okay." Fundy’s voice says otherwise.
"You know you can trust me, right?"
Fundy was starting to get anxious. Why is he anxious? It’s just his mother. Fundy shouldn’t be uncomfortable around his mother.
"Mom, if I wasn’t okay, then you know I would’ve told you."
Fundy thinks his mom accepts his answer because she seems to calm down.
Fundy said nothing after and simply left the bathroom. He went to his room to go... Fundy doesn’t know. Probably have an existential crisis like always.
But Fundy decides he is going to ignore his problems (if they could even be considered problems) and use his computer because he can’t suppress the urge to use it.
———
Out of nowhere, Fundy remembers that hygiene is a thing. He needs to take a shower. Fundy still wanted to use his computer, but he didn’t want to make his parents upset because of him, so he got ready to take a shower unwillingly.
After Fundy is done doing stupid self-care things, he goes back to his computer. He wouldn’t go anywhere else. Shouldn’t he be spending time with his family instead of staying in his room all day? Shouldn’t Fundy be like other children? Be quiet. Just please be quiet for once. Fundy just wants some peace. And some quiet.
Speaking of peace, when was the last time Fundy felt peaceful in his life? Fundy can’t remember. It’s probably just his horrible memory. Probably. Fundy hopes it’s his horrible memory.
Fundy knows that deep down, he’s just making dumb and stupid excuses because he doesn’t know a healthier way to cope.
Wait—cope? Sure, Fundy has some problems with his parents, but that didn’t result in trauma, did it?
Fundy decides to use his very trustworthy computer to answer his questions. Why didn’t he think about that before?
Eventually, Fundy comes across the words "emotional abuse" and "emotionally absent parents." Fundy, being his usual moronic and inquisitive self, looks up those exact words. He expects to find answers to his questions, not his whole life story laid out on the internet.
But Fundy supposes that it really did answer a lot of his questions. It’s just that Fundy wishes he could’ve found out the answers in a better way and that he had been prepared to discover the harsh truth.
Now that Fundy knows the truth, he has to rethink his whole life.
Fundy wants to cry. Why did his life have to be like this? He just wanted to have a normal life. Is that too much to ask for? For the universe, it definitely is.
Fundy hates everything. He hates everything in the whole goddamn universe. Why was anything ever created? What’s the meaning of life?
Fundy realizes he needs to calm down or else he’s actually going to cry. Crying is weak. Fundy doesn’t even deserve to cry anyway.
People have it worse than him, so why should he be complaining? He should be grateful that at least Sally doesn’t treat him like Wilbur does. Sally asks Fundy if he’s alright, unlike Wilbur.
But, like Wilbur, Sally doesn’t take Fundy’s feelings into consideration. Sally just brushes off Wilbur’s degrading insults as playful jokes. If they were just jokes, then why did Fundy take them so seriously? Maybe Fundy was just way too sensitive.
Well, that is true, but Fundy is extremely sensitive because of how Wilbur treats him. How does Sally not notice that? It’s most likely because of how distant Sally is from Fundy.
Why can’t Fundy just have a stable relationship with his parents? Life isn’t fair. Nothing is fair.
Well, nothing was ever fair, so Fundy should just accept it. Accept the way his parents treat him. Fundy just needs to be a good kid and be happy, so his parents will treat him better. But would that even change anything? Probably not.
Fundy would never ask for help because then he would be vulnerable and extremely anxious. Even if Fundy did want to seek help, he wouldn’t because his parents would be angry and because no one would take him seriously. Fundy knows that from experience.
So Fundy chose to do nothing that would help his mental health. It's not like he’ll never do anything to help his mental health. Fundy will just bottle up his emotions, even when the bottle is full.
Fundy sighed and looked at the clock. It was almost time for him to go close his eyes for a few hours. Today is his second-worst day in his life. That’s why he’s going to bed early. Also, his clock is three minutes faster than the real time.