Chapter Text
It was a fairly quiet day at the mission desk as he handed in the latest report he had written with the help of his cute, little genin - annoying, loud brats. The birds outside the open window chirped happily and Iruka was already thinking of lunch even though his shift only ended in two hours.
Kakashi waved the pouting, day-dreaming chuunin goodbye and shunshinned back out into the street, stuffing his face into the crinkled pages of Icha Icha Paradise.
Team seven had gotten day off, so, to kill his boredom - because kami forbid he did not want to end up sharpening his already sharp kunai and shuriken for the upteenth this week; was he slacking or did the Sandaime forget that he too was a ninja of the Leaf capable of doing missions other than D-Ranks while playing sensei for a bunch of socially constipated children.
He sighed into his book, then snickered as he turned the page to a particularly lewd chapter.
Her big bulbous bossom feel right at Tanjiro. There was nothing he could have done to avoid toppling over onto his back, Saki's warm, flower-scented breasts cuddling his flushed cheeks.
'Oh, T-Tanjiro-kun. I'm so s-sorry.', Kakashi read quietly in Saki's voice.
'Don't worry, Saki-san. I have got you.', Tanjiro - Kakashi's brain - replied.
'You're so strong, Tanjiro-kun.'
'It's only so I can protect you, dearest Saki-san.'
He turned another page, giggling loudly, eyes starting to bulge out of their sockets as he held the book right up to his nose.
"Ya, ya, ya. Ehehehe."
Thud!
Kosetsu immediately shot back up into a stand after stupidly having ran into some old giggling man wearing a torn sort of uniform.
'Weirdo.', she thought as the man nervously closed his book, stuffed it into the beige pouch on his back and suddenly grew ten inches as he straightened up into a stand.
"Hey, little one.", Kakashi gave a nervous eye-smile, hoping that the small, silver-haired and red-eyed girl in a dark facemask and a school uniform did not hear him giggling like Jiraiya-sama just now.
'Wait, she reminds me of someone.'
"Ngh.", Kosetsu grunted and stared at the man. He was so tall and looked so familiar.
"Where are you from?", Kakashi asked, frowning behind his mask and hitai-ate. The girl had no chakra signature at all - strange.
"Iga.", Kosetsu replied, tone as indifferent as usual, not sure wether she could trust this man or not. Maybe he knew how to get out of this village and back to Ittoki and the chef.
"Iga?", Kakashi grumbled thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. "I have never heard of a village named Iga before."
Kosetsu sighed behind her mask.
'Great, he is definitely not a shinobi. I better check out that big tower next.'
"That doesn't surprise me. It's quite far from here.", she said and turned to leave. The village was swarming with people and she already had a few masked shinobi on her tail. Additionally, her surroundings were completely foreign to her. The stalls, the buildings, the people and how they dressed, all felt old and dated, a village stuck in time. At least they spoke standard Japanese, even though some had accents which she had never heard before.
"Hold on, little girl.", Kakashi flickered in front of the foreign teenager after having felt the ANBU that followed her and having spotted the strange device around her left wrist. 'A shinobi from a far away, technologically advanced land?'
She had taken in a battle stance as soon as she had felt the man move, but he was fast, maybe even faster than Tokisada-san, which should be impossible, because that would make him more powerful than a demi-god.
"Who are you?", she demanded and activated her shinobi suit by unsealing the core.
Kakashi's hand reached into his backpocket, grabbing two kunai while he signed 'stand down' to the five ANBU above him.
"No need to fight. I just want to talk.", he smiled, twirling the kunai around on his index finger, but keeping a relaxed and seemingly open, defenceless pose.
'I have never seen anything like that before. It materialised out of thin air after she pressed her finger onto that black glass plate in the middle of the device around her wrist. It's like one of those things on the labels of Naruto's packet ramen. I need to restrain and take her to T&I. There's a seventy per cent change that she might endanger the lives of civilians close by."
The man had not moved other than to retrieve some kind of weapon from his backpocket. Kotetsu's mind raced with probabilities and possibilities.
'I need to land a kick before he can use that technique again. He moves too fast for me track even with the suit, but if I reinforce my back and keep my feet light I should be able to dodge when he tries to attack that way. A kick to the chest and temple should render him useless. I just really hope that these guys up there are easier to deal with.', she analysed the environment; the open stalls behind the silver-haired man, the four narrow alley ways that she marked of as escape routes, and the crowds of people all around them, which she could blend into easily.
So with a plan in mind she charges at the man, fists ready to swing and legs ready to kick.
Naruto was walking towards Ichiraku's ramen restaurant as he did every day at noon to eat until Iruka-sensei arrived and then, like the awesome sensei that he was - not like Kakashi-sensei who probably did nothing all day - paid for his entire meal, when he suddenly saw the smut-loving closet pervert - aka his lazy jounin-sensei - standing in the middle if the road, kunai twirling around his fingertips in the usual manner, his signature slouch posture now more of a battle-tense plank.
"Huh?", he wondered what was going on and dashed closer, ready to accuse Kakashi-sensei of forgetting the training he had promised to do with him.
"Kakashi-sensei!", he called out and before he could stop himself, ran face first into the fist of ... a smaller Kakashi-sensei in a dark green mechanical suit?
"Ouch!", he covered his bloody nose and jumped back up into a stand.
"Oi, Kakashi-sensei! What was that for?", he shouted at the two figures in front of him. One was definitely his sensei - with that sheepish eye smile and lazy attitude - the other looked like Kakashi-sensei, but in small and girly with long silver hair and red highlights, parted and tied into two thin pony tails that reached from her shoulders down to the floor.
"Why are you allowed to train with shadow clones in the middle of the street, but as soon as I do it, it's against the shinobi laws or whatever? That's unfair!", he grumbled loudly and narrowed his eyes at the pair.
Kakashi was quite amused, despite the obvious threat close by. The girl was slower than him and her taijutsu was good, but she very clearly had not trained her entire life with the green clad beast of Konoha. So whoever she was, the ANBU could definitely handle her with no difficulties.
'She does look a lot like me, though.', he mused and pocketed his kunai again while dodging, parrying and evading kick after punch after kick that the girl threw at him.
'With some chakra training she could become a great kunoichi.', he thought, dodging a kick to the chin and easily grabbing the girl's ankle and wrist, turning her mid-air and wrapping her up in chakra wire while one of the ANBU placed a seal over the black glass display that supposedly powered this suit.
Kosetsu struggled against the fine metal wire that cut into her suit. How had she allowed herself to underestimate the man so much? Yes he had looked like some weirdo walking through the streets with an old, used book in front of his nose, but was actually a very capable shinobi with an otherworldly speed that she had only ever witnessed Tokisada-san using. Whatever village this was, the shinobi that protected it were dangerous and used peculiar methods.
She would have to report all of this to the chief and the NSC.
"Mah, your taijutsu is quite good, you know. Maybe you could teach my hopelessly stupid genin a thing or two. I don't think they would notice the difference between me and you yet.", the man was talking again while one of the masked shinobi carried her over their shoulder right towards the big orange tower.
She didn't really pay her strange look-a-like any mind. The man sounded like Ryoko when she raved about ninja weapons and ninjutsu. She really hoped that Yumika-sama and Ittoki would fare without her for a few more days until she would manage to escape and get out of this odd village.
Naruto pulled a face at Kakashi-sensei as the man left with a few ANBU in tow, who had suddenly appeared, one carrying his shadow clone.
This made no sense, but Naruto was more hungry than curious so he started running towards Ichiraku's again with a fresh, exciting story to tell Teuchi-san, Ayame-nesan and Iruka-sensei, as soon he arrived.
[Fin]