Work Text:
Click.
The video starts with a young man dressed in a dark three-piece business suit and apron standing behind a pristine kitchen counter. Various ingredients are laid out in front of him.
“... Hello everyone, and welcome back to Salaryman Cooks!” The young man, with a pleasant smile, lightly announces, “I’m Kim Dokja, and today we’ll be making homemade hot cocoa. A quick and easy recipe that anyone can make, and it’s perfect for the Winter!”
“Alright! Let’s get started. First, place some milk and a bit of half-and-half into a pot and set the heat to medium-low.” Kim Dokja gently places the stainless steel pot behind him on the stovetop, quickly turning on the heat before turning back around, “We just want to bring it to a simmer; make sure the milk doesn’t scorch.”
“Next, we’re going to chop up some chocolate here.” Kim Dokja easily slides the rest of the ingredients off to the side before pulling a wooden cutting board, a sharp knife, and a few bars of chocolate into the frame.
“I’ve been getting some comments recently asking, ‘Why did you start a cooking channel? Why is it salaryman themed?’” He quoted, finely chopping the chocolate.
“Well, to start, my day job is that of a salaryman, hence the channel name and the business suit.” Pale hands swiftly move the chopped chocolate morsels into a small glass bowl, “Secondly, my husband tends to do all the cooking for the both of us. I honestly feel a little bad, so I decided to start this channel to improve my cooking skills, so he doesn’t have to cook all the time.”
Kim Dokja’s eyes shift, focusing on something off to the side before quickly concentrating on the camera, “...said husband who’s decided to grace us with his presence today.”
A faint rustling can be heard off-camera.
Kim Dokja glances past the camera once more; the video cuts to a close-up shot of him squinting as he lipreads the words that the man behind the camera was most likely silently mouthing to him.
“The uh … milk … is burning? Is that what you’re saying!?” His face rapidly pales. The camera slowly pans to the stovetop, where the pot of milk is furiously spewing smoke.
[CUT.]
Kim Dokja hastily whips around, attempting to salvage the burning pot only for the fire alarm to start blaring.
[CUT.]
“So!” Kim Dokja cheerily clasps his hands together, a glass bowl filled with heavy whipping cream and a hand mixer set in front of him.
“Make sure to keep a very close eye on your pot of milk, so it doesn’t burn! I’ve heated another pot of milk right here, this time with my wonderful husband supervising so I don’t set off the fire alarm. Again.” He finishes off with a bland smile directed at someone off-camera.
A muffled chuckle disguised as a cough could vaguely be heard in the background.
“...Anyways, after you heat up the milk, slowly add the chocolate and cocoa powder, along with any other flavors you’d like, such as cinnamon, vanilla, or peppermint, into the milk and stir it until the chocolate melts. Then the hot chocolate’s ready, but it’s not complete without whipped cream!”
“To make whipped cream, just add cold heavy whipping cream and sugar into a bowl,” Kim Dokja gracefully adds the ingredients together before picking up the electric hand mixer and placing it into the bowl.
“And start whisking.” Click.
With a slight flip of a switch, the hand mixer whirs to life, splattering cream all over Kim Dokja’s face and the kitchen.
“...And make sure to start on a low whipping speed.”
A tired and thinly veiled fond sigh is quietly caught on the microphone from someone behind the camera as Kim Dokja wipes his face clean with a towel.
[CUT.]
“And that’s how you make quick, easy, and delicious hot chocolate!”
Kim Dokja brightly and innocently smiled with a mug of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream as if nothing had gone wrong at all. Nothing.
A muffled cough came off-camera.
“Anyways, thank you for tuning in to Salaryman Cooks. I’ll be having a livestream next week. I hope to see everyone there. Bye!”
[Cut. Fin.]
-
“So chat, this livestream is not going as planned,” Kim Dokja nervously laughs as he quickly covers a flaming pan with a lid. From the influx of messages on the screen, it seems like all his viewers agreed with him.
Although Kim Dokja ran a cooking channel on the Star Stream, it… didn’t mean he was good at cooking. But, it wasn’t as if his food tasted horrible, not like it could. All the recipes he followed were his husband’s; sure, it didn’t look the most appetizing, but in no way did it actually taste bad. It’s just that Kim Dokja was a safety hazard in the kitchen.
Setting things on fire, accidentally cutting himself, you name it. He’s probably done it.
It’s honestly a miracle that both Kim Dokja and the kitchen were alive.
That might have more to do with the fact that his mystery husband seemed to be the only thing keeping Kim Dokja alive, the same husband that no one’s ever seen or heard because according to Kim Dokja’s words he was ‘shy’.
Watching Kim Dokja cook was tantamount to watching a Shakespearean play with the sheer tragedy and comedy of watching him fumble about the kitchen. The number of things that could possibly go wrong and actually do go wrong leaves viewers crying, laughing, or both.
There was something very endearing about watching a man in a suit and apron, who never stops gushing about his husband at any given moment, be an absolute mess in the kitchen.
It was also free entertainment.
[tls_director123: unless you planned for the small grease fire, then no, it’s not. But no one expects anything else from you anyways.]
“You guys have no faith in my cooking skills, huh.” Kim Dokja bemoans.
An innumerable amount of ‘no’s filled the chat.
To be fair, he was still fanning out smoke through an open window so the fire alarm wouldn’t go off. Again.
Today’s livestream was supposed to be an omurice recipe. It was a recipe that was supposed to be so simple, so easy that anyone would be able to do it.
It was anything but that. But considering Kim Dokja’s track record, it was to be expected.
Except he’s managed to break his own record of ‘How many kitchen accidents can Kim Dokja cause in one recipe?’
And all he was left with was a wholly ruined pan and burnt to hell ingredients.
Usually, his husband would be there to help clean up his mistakes or make sure he didn’t accidentally kill himself, but…
“I better not open twitter after this video gets posted and see pictures of my cooking with Yoo Joonghyuk tagged again.” He soullessly totes. A resigned expression on his face.
[st33l_sw0rd: …sorry but it’s too late…]
[maritimeljh: LMAO your flaming omurice is going viral ahjussi]
Yoo Joonghyuk, the incredibly handsome part-time top pro-gamer and part-time renowned professional chef, who only responds to images of Kim Dokja’s disastrous attempts at cooking with scathing comments. And he specifically responds to pictures of Kim Dokja’s tragic cooking, not even acknowledging any of the more presentable dishes. It’s as if he has a sixth sense for it.
The audacity of that man.
(There was an ongoing joke that Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja were actually dating, but most of their fans denied it. With the way Kim Dokja talks about his husband nonstop and how all Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja’s interactions only ever seemed to be bickering, there was no way that Yoo Joonghyuk was Kim Dokja’s mystery husband.)
And the impudence of his own chat for betraying him every time like this.
“Unloyal, each and every one of you guys,” He mutters, throwing a towel onto the counter.
The chat fills with laughing and heart emotes.
[UriUriel: it’s cute to see you two bicker all the time on twitter!!! Sighs if only you weren’t already married…but also… hnnn]
[IvoryMoon: Kim Dokja, are you going to try the recipe again?]
“Ugh, I think if I try one more time without supervision, I’ll be in trouble, so I’ll just prepare the ingredients for now until the love of my life gets here.”
[xXTHE_ABFDXx: man needs adult supervision in the kitchen.]
“Hey! I don’t need adult supervision. I am the adult.”
[UriUriel: Dokja, honey, your husband helps you in every video and you’re waiting for him right now.]
“... Anyways, as I was saying, my beloved is a bit busy right now, but he’ll be done and here to help me with any mishaps soon.” Kim Dokja sighs, “I really don’t want to set off the fire alarm while he’s working again.”
[s1863p: so tell us about your hubby :) and if you want a new one]
[UriUriel: … the f◾◾k]
[JCDS_SWK: well… you’ve gotta give him kudos for trying]
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t see the second half but my husband’s name is Yoo Joonghyuk.” He distractedly answers, rummaging for new, fresh ingredients.
[xXTHE_ABFDXx: ???]
[JCDS_SWK: Kim Dokja… have you been reading fanfics about yourself?]
[UriUriel: ALKSDFJLAKDSJF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]
[UriUriel: I mean Dokja-ya, your actual husband is going to get jealous at this rate~]
[maritimeljh: no way… does this mean the rumors were true…]
By the time Kim Dokja emerges from the fridge and cupboards, his chat is going at a mile a minute, filled with question marks and viewers confused about if he was actually serious or if he’s joking.
Kim Dokja bursts out laughing at the confused chaos.
“D-did you guys not realize?” He wheezes out bemusement, “It’s not like either of us are trying to hide it. I just don’t wear my ring while I’m cooking to avoid losing it.”
[JCDS_SWK: no way… he’s just joking, right…]
He only starts laughing harder when his chat tries to deny it.
[xXTHE_ABFDXx: Isn’t the supreme king streaming right now too?? Check if he has a ring on his finger or not]
[st33l_sw0rd: should… we ask Yoo Joonghyuk?]
“Joonghyuk-ah~ My chat won’t believe me that we’re married.” Kim Dokja calls out teasingly, “They’re telling me to find a new husband.”
[xXTHE_ABFDXx: holy f◾◾k Yoo Joonghyuk’s stream just ended and he did NOT look happy.]
[UriUriel: ??? Does that mean???]
Kim Dokja leans on the counter, looking far too smug and amused, at the sound of a door aggressively being opened by who can only be his mystery husband.
And to the awe and shock of the live viewers, the man who entered the frame was Yoo Joonghyuk.
And he was positively glowering at the camera as he made his way to a giddy Kim Dokja, whom he grabbed by the waist to pull in close.
“He doesn’t need a new husband when his actual husband is right here.” Yoo Joonghyuk growls out, hand tightening on the other’s slim waist. Kim Dokja did nothing to appease his husband besides gently patting his chest a few times.
[JCDS_SWK: I’m not imagining this am I? Do I need to get my vision checked?]
[s1863p: no, your vision is fine you overdramatic fool.]
[UriUriel: aklsdjfaldkjflasjdflkajlwkjelrkjlaskdf o h m y godasd;fa]
Amid the chat’s collective meltdown over actually seeing Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk in the same frame, Yoo Joonghyuk has already put on an apron and moved to cook.
“You’re taking over my stream?” Kim Dokja questions as he wraps the other in a back hug.
“Mm.”
“Aren’t I supposed to be the one cooking?”
Yoo Joonghyuk quickly turns his head around to plant a chaste kiss onto the other’s lips to the shock of both Kim Dokja and the viewers, “Let me do it this time.”
How was Kim Dokja supposed to deny his husband?
The taller man efficiently and gracefully moves about the kitchen, even with a clingy Kim Dokja attached to him like a squid, effortlessly cooking all the ingredients. All the while easily narrating each step, giving tips for beginners to follow.
Mid-cooking, Yoo Joonghyuk turns around and raises an eyebrow at Kim Dokja who’s casually lounging by the counter with a mug in hand.
“No tomatoes?”
“Hey, I prepped the ingredients. That means I should have a say about what goes in the dish.”
“Yes, dear.” Yoo Joonghyuk drily replies, but eyes were infinitely fond and dripping with adoration as he looked at the other.
The two are entirely in their own world, the wholly chat forgotten.
A gold ring on Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand glimmers, reflecting against the light with every movement. A matching ring hung on a thin chain around Kim Dokja’s neck.
In no time, a steaming and delicious plate of omurice was served, the eggs on top as fluffy and soft-looking as clouds, and the fried rice looked utterly salivating.
Kim Dokja was looking at it eagerly, spoon already in hand, as Yoo Joonghyuk placed it in front of him. The spoon cleanly and gently cuts through the egg and rice.
Kim Dokja raises the spoon to Yoo Joonghyuk’s lips, “Didn’t you want some? You haven’t eaten anything yet today.”
A large hand gently wraps around Kim Dokja’s slim and pale wrists, moving it away as Yoo Joonghyuk leans down close, obscuring both their faces from the camera. A few tense seconds passed before Yoo Joonghyuk finally moved back slightly to the other’s ears, the camera picking up on Kim Dokja’s wide eyes, slightly gaping mouth, and burning red ears.
Yoo Joonghyuk was murmuring something lowly into Kim Dokja’s ears, his words had the other’s face blushing furiously. Kim Dokja shoots up, Yoo Joonghyuk lets him go releasing the other’s wrist as the spoon clatters onto the counter. The smaller man hurried around the counter to the monitor, flushing bright red.
“A-and that’s the recipe for omurice everyone! Ahah, see you all nextimegoodbye!” Kim Dokja stutters through his words, desperately looking for the ‘end’ button on the monitor.
The last things viewers saw was Kim Dokja’s frantic and blushing face as he tried to end the stream and a small, utterly smug and satisfied smirk tugging at the corner of Yoo Joonghyuk’s lips as he looked straight at the camera.
Click.
[Salaryman Cooks livestream has ended.]