Chapter Text
1.
"Everyone, Everyone! Shut up! We are playing spin the bottle! Now!" Rhonda Lloyd shouted, only a little slurred. The slender, tall girl was as tipsy as the rest of her guests, but much more forceful than she is on the day to day. Her black hair was obviously straightened down her back at the start of the party - but now sweat and activity had mussed it up a bit. No one would say she was unattractive for it though.
"Willikers!" Stinky shouted. Stinky was a wide-eyed kid with spiky hair and several piercings in each ear and he towered over his peers. As he stood looking around at the crowd, trying to gauge how the rest were feeling about the prospect. Sure enough, a large circle of ruddy faced juniors and seniors was forming - Curly and Harold pushed the couch back at an angle to make room.
"Criminy, Princess - could you be more cliche? I'd rather scoop my own eye out with a cocktail fork than run the risk of kissing one of these weirdos." Helga had gotten taller for sure, and curvier for sure - but no one ever mentioned that, because she would still sock you in the face for such comments. For the party, she had circled her eyes in smudged eyeliner, donned her favorite baseball cap (which said "suck it" in ragged embroidery) turned backwards, and thrown on jeans and a WrestleMania shirt she had cut up herself.
"You are so full of shit, Helga!" Pheobe said, stumbling up to Helga's side with a shot for each of them, her cardigan drooping off her shoulders and dragging on the ground. Phoebe had not grown much at all.
"Language, Phoebe!" Helga scoffed, but gratefully accepted the shot. "You sure you're ok? You're going a little harder than normal there, Pheebs."
"Oh, I'm peachy!" With that, Phoebe plopped herself down in the circle. Gerald, Phoebe's boyfriend wandered in from the kitchen in a crisp maroon button down, caught her eye from across the room, winked, and took a seat next to Arnold in his unbuttoned flannel and cuffed bootcut jeans. Helga is often self-obsessed (or more accurately, Arnold-obsessed), but she started to notice a growing tension in her best friend. Phoebe had always been anxious, Type-A, intense - to say the least - but something was different. But whatever! Helga was drunk too and a little too interested in the possibility of kissing Arnold to worry much more tonight.
"OK! You know the rules! You spin the bottle - you kiss who it lands on OR you shot gun a beer if you're too chicken! Who wants to start!?" Rhonda threw the bottle into the center of the circle, hard enough for it to bounce dangerously.
"I'll go!" Curly, an averaged sized kid with shoulder length black hair and thick glasses, snatched the bottle up, looking up at Rhonda lustfully.
"Gross" Rhonda said, shoving her nose in the air. She's funny, acting like everyone doesn't know she hooks up with Curly when she's single and bored. And from what she confessed to Nadine last summer, Curly ain't half bad at - stuff, if you know what I mean.
"I just want to say - as I look out at all your beautiful faces - KEEP YOUR LIPS OFF MY WOMAN!" Curly burst into the hysterics as he spun the bottle forcefully. It spun and spun.
"How many times is Rhonda gonna force her friends to make out?" Gerald whispered to Arnold - laughing a little too loudly in his ear.
Arnold chuckled and looked out over the faces of his friends. Senior year was here and it occurred to Arnold, not for the first time, that he has spent the last decade of his life with these kids through a good deal of weird, some bad, and a lot of great times. He felt himself swell with affection for his friends - and then, the bottle landed right on him.
Curly lurched forward, cackling, and grabbed Arnold's face.
"AAH" was all Arnold was able to get out before Curly landed a smooch right on his mouth. It was wet - Curly's kisses were notoriously wet. Rhonda really did make them play this game too much.
Curly pulled away with a loud pop.
"Curly, you have to stop slobbering on people!" Arnold yelled as they separated.
"Merry and Moist, Arnold! That's the way I am and I am not changing!"
Laughter filled the hot living room. Arnold couldn't help but laugh too. It was his turn and he reached into the circle for the bottle. He let his mind wander over the options, wondering who he even wanted to kiss - if anyone. He briefly imagined himself pressed against someone, running his hand through their hair and pulling their soft lips into his - but they didn't quite have a face. There was Phoebe - his best friend's girlfriend; Rhonda wasn't appealing, she'd probably say he wanted her all along; Lila of course - but he's tried too many times to kiss her on his own, and can't handle another rejection; Sheena's kisses are foretold to be toothy; Nadine was a good kisser - they had matched once before in one of these games, that wouldn't be so bad; Patty was here for once, but she doesn't look like she wants to kiss anyone - maybe Harold; There were a lot of guys too, he could do like Curly did, but he wasn't much for the gag; There was Helga… Maybe he'll just do the shotgun.
"Hurry it up, Arnoldo, we don't have all day!" Helga spat. In the infinite distance between Arnold and the bottle, his daydreams got cloudy and finally dissipated. He launched the bottle and it landed with a little jump. It slowed quickly and decisively landed on Gerald.
"My man!" Gerald guffawed.
"Go ahead, Arnold! You can kiss him all you want!" Phoebe shouted her permissions through the hoots and hollers.
Now - to be clear, Arnold has definitely kissed Gerald before - at an early spin the bottle game, back in ninth grade. This was before the group really started drinking and all the kids had laughed and said there was no way - so Arnold showed them all and kissed his best friend heartily for the first time. He always thought it was good for their friendship. As he looked at Gerald tonight, he was laughing and good natured. Gerald pulled out two beers from the cooler he brought with him and thrust one into Arnold's hands.
"I'll do it with you! I don't need Curly sloppy seconds!" Gerald stood up and pulled Arnold to his feet too.
"Ready, Gerald?" Arnold asked. They took practiced positions, ready to puncture their beers and chug.
"Ready!" Gerald said, and they were off!
Helga found herself watching Arnold's adam's apple bob as he swallowed and swallowed, getting lost in the line of his jaw into his neck. She felt a sigh coming on, a terribly girlish sigh, but she caught it right in time and took a swallow of beer instead.
The duo finished their shot gun to great applause. A little woozy, Gerald fell to the ground, immediately reaching for the bottle and spinning it weakly. Clearly he was trying to get it to land on Phoebe.
"Gerald! No Cheating!" Rhonda scolded.
"Aw hush, Lloyd!" The bottle landed right on Phoebe. The group groaned at the couple as Gerald sprawled and crawled across the circle toward her till he was on his knees before his girlfriend. He scooped her into a kind of dip and kissed her deeply. She blushed furiously as he released her. The music was loud and people were cooing and mocking them. Helga could see the smallest of furrows in her brow though. Before anyone could say a thing, Phoebe was spinning the bottle again. It landed on a junior girl - maybe her name was Dodie? Sarah?
"Beer me," Phoebe said, holding out her hand. Helga stole one from Gerald and handed it to her.
"You sure, Pheebs?" Helga said quietly - something was off. Phoebe has never successfully shotgunned a beer. But there she stood, her keys in her hand. She popped the beer and began to chug. It seemed to the whole group that this was a little odd because there was a hush in the air. Everyone waiting for - oh! There it is. Phoebe lurched dangerously and spit wildly! She dropped the beer in a splash and ran to the bathroom. Helga jumped up, but Gerald was faster, running after her.
The circle broke up - some kids laughing, others getting distracted again. A smaller spin the bottle session got started as Dodie/Sarah grabbed the bottle. Helga leaned against the archway of the living room, looking into the hall where the bathroom was. Gerald went in with Phoebe and closed the door.
Arnold walked up beside Helga. "That was weird right?"
Helga jumped ever so slightly, not anticipating Arnold in her ear. "Jesus, Arnold, don't sneak up on me like that."
"Sorry," he said simply.
"Yeah - it was kinda. I mean - I don't know. It's none of our business, football head." Helga was warm in the face and trying to maintain her cool.
"She's your best friend -" Arnold protested.
"So?"
"So…is she ok?" Arnold, always concerned and sticking his nose in other people's business.
"I - " Helga truly considered telling him to fuck off, to bat him away to protect herself. But she was tipsy and wanted to talk to him - and genuinely didn't know what was going on. "I really don't know. She's had too much to drink tonight - it's not like her. Does she seem off to you?"
"Yeah - a little." Arnold agreed. "Has she said anything?"
"Why do you care, Arnold? Maybe it really is none of our business." Helga was feeling something else now: annoyance at not knowing what was wrong with Phoebe. She was hiding something and now Helga was worried. And Helga doesn't like being worried.
"Ok - ok. I just - " Arnold stumbled. He was drunk too. He could feel it finally setting in. He could also feel the awkward moment hanging between them - both of their people were occupied and the rest of the party had moved on without them. "You wanna play some beer pong? The table's open," Arnold asked - a peace offering.
"Sure, if you wanna crash and burn, I'm happy to kick your ass!" Helga led the way - Arnold sighed, happy the tension was broken.
"Whatever you say, Helga."
2.
"Let it out - stop trying to hold back. You don't need to." Gerald rubbed Phoebe's back as she hunched over the toilet.
"Stop - AHH - coaching me! BLAH," Phoebe was heaving long after she had nothing left to give. When she finally slumped back into Gerald, they collapsed on the floor together. Gerald had a wet cloth ready to wipe her face clean. But Phoebe wrenched the cloth from his hand.
"Are you ok?" Gerald asked, guessing her sharp tone had more to do with the upchucking than with him. If he hadn't been intoxicated, he may have noticed the way she averted her eyes from his. She chose to feign sleep instead of offering any insight. But tipsy Gerald looked sweetly down at her face and said "Why are you so cute?" giving her a small kiss on the forehead.
Phoebe was starting to fall asleep, but that kiss squeezed out one renegade tear that went thankfully unnoticed by Gerald. He picked her up and took her into a first floor guest room - usually used by those too far gone to get home. Gerald laid his girl down on the bed and tucked her in. Then Gerald laid down too, and quickly passed out.
3.
Helga was reigning supreme over the pong table. After she beat Arnold, she boasted loudly, pulling Harold over to challenge her. Harold lost dismally, then Stinky, then Sid. Peapod was now going cup for cup with Helga. It was a tight game and Helga had completely forgotten about all other troubles. "Give it up, Peapod! Your yuppie tricks can only get you so far!"
"Oh you are terribly, terribly mistaken, Helga. I am in this to win this!"
Across the party, Arnold got pulled into a classically deep conversation with Iggy.
"Ok but why, though? Why is she mad?" Iggy was leaning all the way in now and Arnold had to lean back to keep his face in focus.
"I mean - I don't know for sure, Iggy. But it might be that you compared her to her sister! I know you didn't mean it in a bad way - but you can understand that she doesn't want you to be looking at her sister like that, right?"
"Yeah - but -"
"She just wants to know you want her. Specifically, her. You know what I mean?" Arnold said this slowly and with purpose.
"But I do! I do want her! Why doesn't she know - " Iggy was flailing wildly.
Arnold hadn't had a girlfriend for a couple months now. His last girlfriend was mostly a summer fling - but he counted it - because he really went for it. Erica was sweet, beautiful, passionate, and easily overwhelmed, apparently.
"How do you show her, Iggy?" Arnold knew that he was more affectionate than a lot of guys his age - in fact he was often called -
"Jesus, don't give me that hopeless romantic crap, Arnold!"
"How - how is it hopelessly romantic to make the first move or tell her that she looks nice! It sounds like the minimum to me!"
Now, Iggy wasn't wrong. Erica broke up with Arnold because he was a little too…zealous, a little too fast. He may or may not have written a six page letter at the end of the summer, professing his "love" for Erica and that he was more than up to the "long distance challenge." They had dated for three months and Arnold, now with the benefit of 20-20 hindsight, can see that he let himself get swept away violently and rapidly - again. Erica sweetly told him that she liked him a lot, but she did not "love" him. In fact she wasn't even sure kids their age (17 years very young) even know what love is - and for that reason (among others), she didn't think that a long-distance relationship her senior year of high school sounded very appetizing at all.
Maybe Iggy was right, maybe he was too much. Maybe he shouldn't be giving advice - although, Iggy really does need help.
4.
Helga was bored of these men! She beat Peapod, then Park, then Brainy, and then no one else would step up. But then a woman walked out onto the patio -
"Patty! Patty, please come save me from this endless string of mediocre men!" Helga shouted as Patty Smith swaggered in. She graduated year before last, but was back in town for her dad's birthday and Harold brought her along for another high school romp.
Helga looked at Patty - she was looking alright, college suited her. The girl had grown into her shoulders nicely, and stood solidly on thick, muscular legs.
"Please, Patty - I haven't had a drink in the last forty-five minutes cuz no one can seem to sink a goddamn cup around here." Helga laughed, crossing her arms and leaning back into her hip.
"You're the best pong player at PS 121, Helga. That's it. That's just true. I'm not signing up to lose." Patty's voice was dry and low and warm.
"Fine, fine. I accept the crown." Helga was still a little tipsy, but was coming down. "How are you, Big Lady - how's college going?"
"Eh, it's going ok. I like my classes. I think I'm going to join the weightlifting team - I'm thinking about it - "
"Do it! Absolutely, you'll blow all the gymbros out of the water - won't know what hit 'em. But I gotta tell ya - I miss you in the ring! No one wants to spar with me - buncha pussies." Helga sidled up to Patty's side and gave a few light jabs to her bicep. Patty giggled.
"You punch too hard, Helga. No one wants their teeth punched out during practice!"
"You always fought me - "
"Yeah well, I hit harder than you do." Patty reached out and punched just as she had, but the force of it popped Helga back on her heels.
"Ah! Damn - yeah you do." Helga's laugh rang out. Patty noticed that a certain football head was wandering into the space, talking to Park - now standing directly behind Helga.
Patty smiled to herself - then asked, "How are you? Senior year, and all?"
"It's all the same shit different grade. Can't complain too much - but -" Helga saw a glint in Patty's eye. "What?"
"Nothing - just wondering if things have - um - moved along in any particular areas of your life?" Helga followed Patty's eye behind her to the back of Arnold's head. He was right behind her, almost touching her, back to back. The patio was getting tight. Helga spun back around and blushed in spite of herself. Any onlookers would just think Helga was sauced, but Patty knew otherwise.
"Ha ha - I don't - uh - know what you're talking about!" Patty made a face. "Nothing is - no. You're crazy. I mean - not that it's any of your business Big - " Patty smirked and punched Helga hard, right in the chest. Helga flew straight back - straight into Arnold - and then straight to the ground.
"What the hell, Patty!"
"What? I thought you wanted to spar?" Patty said it dryly but her eyes were alight with laughter. "Harold - hey, did you get me that drink?" And with that, Patty walked back into the house. Helga has been afraid as long as Patty had known her. She knows that Helga is scary to everyone else, blustering and bold, but Patty always saw the uncertainty in the girl's sneer. Helga just needs a push. When she's pushed, Helga always rises to the challenge.