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Chapter Text

The exact moment the titan gains sentience is up for debate. Perhaps it is at The Wall, sharp fingernails scratching at the surface, longing to get in. He briefly considers, just for a second, that if he wants to get past this stone monstrosity he needs a plan. Then, a human gets particularly close to his area of the wall, and the thought is dismissed.

Curiosity

Perhaps it is when they are following the group of humans, the titan was never as hungry as the others, so today he just watches. One of the humans, smaller than the others, whips around a titan and slices the nape of the neck. The titan watches it fall and hesitantly raises a hand to its own nape.

Fear

Perhaps it is later when he watches a human fall under a titan's hand and feels a pang of loss, followed by anger. The titan approaches the group of humans, a hand protectively over its nape, and punches the other titan in the face. He watches the titan fall and then meanders away.

Rage

These emotions are new to it, confusing and overwhelming, so he begins to run.

He runs for a long time, just swirling thoughts and hammering footsteps. He wants to protect the humans, he likes watching them ride the horses and he does not like it when they are eaten. The titan does not have words for this, does not have any way of knowing groundbreaking this is, but the titan does know, slowing to a stop under the blistering sun, that he must protect them.

The titan turns around and heads back to the walls.

The next time the humans leave the walls the titan is waiting for them. He follows at a distance, running at any others that dare approach. The humans are wary, they approach and then back off, testing how close they will get to each other.
The titan wants to touch, wants to pick one up and see how its mouth makes those noises. Wants to know how the things on their hips make them fly and spin. But he can’t, they will hurt him and he does not want to be hurt.

He does not know what the humans think of him, but eventually, they come to an understanding. He will stay far away, far enough that there would be a warning if they tried to hurt each other, and they wouldn’t run when he tries to follow. He gets to know some of them too, the small one who is always on their guard, the loud one who always gets a little too close. Others tend to come and go, he is not always there to protect them, and can’t always stop the others from hurting them.

He hates himself for that.

At some point, the humans try to capture him, they lure him into a wooded area and allow him to follow much more closely. Maybe they like him, he thinks, maybe they will take him back with them. Then there is noise all around him, spears digging into his skin too fast for him to regenerate. His body is smoking from the wounds, pain like he has never known wipes the titan's brain, leaving nothing but instinct and a lingering feeling of betrayal as he snaps at the humans restraining him, pulling the stakes from the ground and swiping at anyone who comes close. The humans flee, and he rests, one hand on his neck and long threads of steam trailing from his body.

He hears a whimper, small, choked. The titan turns its head and sees a human, hanging from the wires they use to move. She is small, brown hair framing her face, in her hand is one of the small swords they carry. For a few tense seconds, they watch each other, and then the titan reaches forwarded and the girl slices his thumb off, it stings, but not much. He ignores this, plucks the sword from her hand, then extracts the girl from the tangle of wires and holds her in his palm. She fits neatly, humans are always so much smaller than he expects.

He takes her to a cave, hidden by a river and high enough that the titan has to climb to reach it. There he sits her on the ground, and, after a moment of hesitation, hands her back the sword. Even though they had just betrayed him, these are his humans, they need to be safe. She takes it and holds it in front of her protectively but doesn’t move to attack. The titan sits and waits.

Eventually, the girl begins to talk. The titan does not understand, but it tries. She is gesturing to her leg, noises of pain interspersed with their familiar language. The titan realizes the leg is shaped wrong, the bottom half at an odd angle, blood welling up from a tear in the skin, staining her white trousers. The girl is awkwardly dragging it into a more comfortable position.

Right, humans heal slowly. He doesn’t know how to solve this problem. Whenever he gets injured he just waits for the problem to go away.

Food. Food heals humans like the sun heals titans, it is why the humans can move during the night when the sun has left titans cold and immobile. He had learned that when the party of humans would investigate him when the sun was down, watching them through open but immobilized eyes, unable to react to them getting closer, but vaguely aware of their presence.

The titan leaves the cave, and goes to search for meat, it is not hard, animals have no reason to fear him, yet. He snaps the neck of a deer and brings it back to the human, pleased to be helping. The human is trying to move her leg back to its normal angle, she is grunting and pulling but she just can’t seem to do it. The titan puts down his catch and takes the leg, straightening it with one easy motion. The human cries but she does not seem scared, for some reason this makes the titan happy.

She guts the deer with a practiced hand, and after she starts pilling wood in a circle the titan realizes she is asking for firewood. The humans don’t usually make fires, and when they do he is too far away to figure out what exactly they are doing, so he guesses. He collects leaves and branches and the human picks out the dry ones. She is talking all this time, and the titan realizes she says one word a lot. He stops her with a gentle finger on her arm, head cocked to one side in a hauntingly human gesture.

She smiles, “Eren. My name is Eren. Is that what you wanted to know?”

Name, he knew that word, he understood it. Why did he understand it?

The titan tries to speak, but his lipless mouth was not made for communication. Titans do not need to communicate. “Urn.” He says, the word clumsy and halting. “Urn.”

“That's right. Eren.”

They survive, Eren teaches him words, basic commands, and the days get colder. They have taken to drawing things in the dirt, as the titan can understand concepts more easily when they have a visual element. He draws Eren, a little stick figure formed by a massive hand. Then he draws more stick figures, further away, and then a line between the two.

“Is that The Wall?” The titan nods, and he drags a finger between Eren and the figures. “You want to bring me home?” The titan does not know that word and cocks his head. A question.

“Behind the wall.”

He nods, and she smiles, “Okay,” The titan can not smile back, but he tries.

First, they gather supplies, Erens leg is still not healed, the skin still red and inflamed. So they smoke strips of meat, and Eren draws edible berries on the floor for the titan to collect. He is trying to climb back, squishing red berries in his large hands when he sees her, back to the wall, motionless.

At first, he thinks she is asleep, but there is a stillness to her body that makes him worry. He examines her leg, yellow pus leaking through the strips of fabric used as bandages, her skin is still warm, but her chest does not rise and fall. The berries in the titans' hands leave red smears as he picks her up. He is going to get her back to the wall, no matter what.

The titan runs, during the day he holds her as if she is alive, and maybe she could be. He has never seen a dead human for longer than a few hours, humans are basically small titans, so shouldn’t they disintegrate?

At night, when the sun leaves and the titan goes dormant, he closes his hands around her and makes sure no scavenges can get to her. The days are cloudy, leaving the titan sluggish and sapped of energy. He moves slowly, and the days blur until he smells humans in the distance.

They take evasive maneuvers, and the titan turns to head them off. The chase is slow, but he is persistent. Eventually, the small army of humans is 50 meters away from him, weapons drawn. They face each other wearily, and the titan knows he will not be able to get closer. He lays Eren on the ground, wrapped in her green cloak with the broken swords in her hands, and then he runs.

The last time he sees Eren, she is surrounded by familiar green cloaks, heading towards the wall.

Chapter Text

There is a hole in Wall Maria. Mikasa does not know how, but there is a hole in Wall Maria and it is letting the titans in. Armin's grandfather is probably dead, and Armin is begging her to run, but… But Armin is the only family she has left, and she will not leave him trapped under rubble to be eaten like cattle. Mikasa is strong. She is strong and quick and smart, but the beam is slipping in blood-soaked hands and tears are clouding her vision.

Mikasa gives one more heave, the wood groaning slightly before settling into place. Her dress is ripped and muddy. She is going to die like this, but at least she will not die alone.

Armin takes her hands. “You need to leave. Run and get to the inner walls.”

She shakes her head, he is her family, her only family now.

“Please Mikasa.”

“I just need to-”

But the beam is too heavy, too unwieldy. “Okay, I can still move my legs, you need to leaver it up so you can pull me out.”

She looks around for something to use as leverage, glad that Armin has accepted that she won’t leave without him, a smaller piece of rubble perhaps?

There is no time to find out, as without warning the echoing steps of a titan approach. It is one of the larger ones, with long hair and a skinless, smiling mouth. It watches them, considering, and every part of Mikasa is screaming to run, to accept that Armin is already dead.

She does not know what she would have done if the titan hadn’t leaned down and plucked the support beam off of Armin like it was kindling.

Mikasa does not know a lot about titans. She knows that they are huge, that they eat people, people like Armin, now exposed and vulnerable. She knows that they live beyond the walls amongst polar bears and elephants and raccoons.

She knows they have a weak spot at the nape of their neck.

Her body moves without her asking it to, snatching up a kitchen knife from the rubble and running at the crouching form. Even kneeling it is too high for her to reach, so she grasps its hair, pulling herself up to crouch on his shoulders. The titan shifts beneath her and she almost topples off, but for some reason he doesn’t reach back and kill her.

It would be so easy for it to kill her.

The knife is slippery in her hand but she does not let go, if she lets go Armin will die. She will die.

His flesh is tough and leathery. When the knife enters his body Mikasa is hit with a blast of heat, she pushes down with a scream, her arms shaking with the effort. She pulls the knife out and plunges it down, again and again, each movement more wild and desperate than the last.

The titan shudders, and collapses. Mikasa is eleven years old, and she has just killed her first titan.
She falls to the ground.

Armin helps her up slowly, his legs are shockingly intact. Together, they stare at the smoking remains of the titan. They need to leave, before more titans come, before they are eaten.

"Is that a…person?"

Armin's voice is shaky, and Mikasa looks closer. There, emerging from the disintegrating flesh, is a boy. He appears to be unconscious, and for a moment he just sits there, muscle clinging to his face, until detaching fully from the titan and tumbling down to the ground.

It is impossible. Mikasa doesn't know what to do.

Luckily Armin is already moving forward, grabbing one of the boys' arms and pulling it over his shoulder. She feels drained, as if she is about to burst into tears at any moment, but she takes the boy's other arm and they begin to drag him away.

They walk for what feels like a long time, the kitchen knife in her hand and the boys weight across her shoulders. They don’t encounter any more titans, but every step, every corner, could bring them closer to death.

They keep walking anyway, and Mikasa tries not to cry.

They are found by a cart, in the end, the driver is an old lady who calls her sweetheart and spends the ride frantically searching for someone. She doesn’t find them.

It is so easy to be bundled from one place to another, to hold Armin and the boy close and let others take control. His body is warm, and Mikasa focuses on his heartbeat, slow now, steady. She has done her part, their survival is not up to her anymore, the barge is already moving away from danger, and all she has to do is wait.

The journey to Trost is hard, Armin doesn’t respond when she tries to talk to him, just stares into the water. It hits her all at once, that they can not go home, that they will never go home. All she has left is Armin and this strange boy she may have killed.

Finally, Mikasa lets herself cry.

The boy is shivering in his sleep, they are at a refugee camp somewhere in the walls and he has not woken up. Mikasa and Armin take turns watching him, in between sleeping and staring blankly at the walls. They haven’t talked about what happened, but she knows they have to.

“He was that titan,” Armin says eventually.

“He saved you.” She replies, “And I killed him.”

She remembers the knife fitting so neatly in her hands. It felt nice, to have power, familiar.

“What do we do? If we tell the military…” He does not have to say it, this is new, this is big, they will take him away.

“We owe him” she decides, “He’s staying with us.”

She will not lose anyone else, she refuses to.

Chapter Text

The titan wakes in a body that is only distantly familiar. It is smaller, softer. When he opens his eyes the world is in a different focus, something has changed.

There is a voice, soft, female maybe? It is always so hard to tell. She is repeating the same few words over and over again, but everything is so new he can’t concentrate on the meaning.

“What’s your name?”

He knew that question, he has been asked it before. Then he couldn’t answer, now…

She wouldn’t mind, would she? It was the only name he knew, the only word he has ever put effort into saying.

“-your name?”

The newly formed flesh on his lips made speaking easier, but more complicated. The word still forms, however, unnatural and crooked.

“Eren.”

And it feels right, because she may be dead, may have been taken by the humans in green for him to never see again, but this way he can still keep her.

And that's enough.

They are inside the walls, that is what the titan- no, what Eren learns from his two humans. He remembers it slightly, the colossal titan, the wall falling, he remembers the insatiable hunger, and then the anger. And then- nothing but pain. It’s frustrating, he has so many questions but no way to ask them. He learns his two humans' names, Mikasa and Armin, and he learns a lot about how humans work. They are at a camp for small humans, he is a small human now, and small humans can not do a lot. He learns many more words, and they feel familiar somehow.

They take to sleeping together in a small pile, because Eren isn’t about to leave the only humans who know the truth, and for some reason, they stay with him. Even if he can not talk, he can watch, he has spent his entire life watching.

Armin seems weak, at first. He does not have the muscle mass of the other two, and he speaks softly, nervously, but Eren watches, and he learns. Armin is calculated, careful. He is the one to lie to the adults who care for them, to say that Eren isn’t simple, just doesn’t talk much. He is able to predict what cultural norms Eren doesn’t know and explain away all his mistakes. And he is the one to ask Eren questions, to figure out how his body works, and find ways around it.

Mikasa is different. There are times when Eren thinks she views people the same way that he does, as something wonderful and interesting but just outside his reach. She has a confidence that Eren and Armin don’t, she moves deliberately, and even if she is just standing slightly behind him, holding his hand, Eren feels safe. Mikasa is the one that killed him, he thinks. He does not remember fully, there is no reason for a titan to form memories after all, but sometimes she looks at him with such guilt and gratitude in her eyes. He will do anything for them, he realizes, with a confidence and trust that only children can have. He will protect these two wonderful humans from the titans, from other humans, from the whole world if he has to.

He is not all human, they discover that easily. When Mikasa presses a loaf of bread into his hands on that first day, he is confused, until he sees Armin bite into his. The bread sits heavy in his stomach, and later that night he is throwing it back up, his throat raw and a soothing hand on his back.

From then on his loaf of bread is split between the two others.

Eren learns there are many things he can and cannot do, even if he needs to do them. He can not go pick berries or catch deer, as he did outside the walls, but he can still tell that his humans need more food than they are being given. He takes to hunting rats and stray cats. When he brings the first one back they are horrified, but then Armins stomach rumbles and Mikasa kisses him on the cheek in thanks and begins to skin it with ruthless efficiency.

Apart from the size, the biggest change that comes with his new body is who recognizes him as a threat. Outside the walls, animals had learned to ignore titans. Birds would often follow him in the hopes to pick up scraps from any leftover human, and smaller creatures only had to worry about being accidentally crushed underfoot. Here, everything but humans run from him, it is a strange feeling, but not unwelcome.

The humans do not like Eren, they are sent to work in the fields, which is fine until winter sets in. At this point, it has been months, and Eren can still only talk a little. Understanding words is a lot easier, he loves listening to Armin ramble, but forming words is still difficult. One night, squished together on a small mattress, Armin suggests it may be similar to his inability to eat, that something hadn’t formed correctly when he became human.

Mikasa thinks he just needs practice, that he has spent so long not speaking that he’d forgotten how. He doesn’t know who is right.

Eren does try. He practices making sounds, asking questions about things he should know and when they are alone he tells them about the outside world. When Armin teaches him the word ‘sea’ he nods, excited to know something, to be able to share something.

“The land, it ends. I walk far and then there is only water.” He shudders, titans hate water. “So I find a way around and walk for… long time, but there is just water. It…round.” He draws a circle on the ground. Armin looks at him in wonder.
“Huh, we’re on an island, was the water salty?”
He shrugs, “Didn’t eat it. I walk left to go around water but end up in same place.” A wave of exhaustion washes over him.
“Sun is leaving, we sleep.”

Usually during winter titans are less active. Some go into a state of hibernation, but most just wander around sluggishly, waiting for the sun. This need for sunlight is still unavoidable as a human. He goes to bed earlier and wakes up later; when the sun is out, all he wants to do is bask in it. But he can’t, because his humans must eat, and for that, they must work.

It is at the beginning of that first winter they are forced to leave. They had been so careful about making Eren seem human, they had explained away his tiredness, his lack of eating, his vocabulary, and knowledge of society. They had forgotten the rate at which he heals.

He is carrying wood, already he is known as the strongest, the one with the most stamina, and so the armful he was given piles so high it obscures his vision, Mikasa walks beside him, guiding him softly.

He does not know what makes him trip, only Mikasas shouts and the wood flying as he falls to the ground, arms stretched forward to protect himself.

The cut itself is not bad, just a tear in the skin, a slight scrape, and a smear of blood. The bad part is the steam, rising from his hand, knitting together the skin and very obvious in the cold winter air. The people around them have turned at the noise, but Mikasa reacts quickly, wrapping his hand and leading him away.

“Did they see?” He asks, because if they saw what would they do, would they leave him? Hand him over? He remembers the spears digging into his skin, immobilizing him, Eren won't allow that to happen again.

“I don’t know.”

Her steps are sure, but the iron-clad grip of her hand in his gives away her worry. “We need to find Armin.”

Armin takes in their story with a calm that Eren knows he is not feeling, “They saw you heal?”

“We don’t know for sure, but there were so many people, someone must-have.”

He examines Eren's hand, the scrape is completely gone, “Okay, Eren and I will pack our bags, Mikasa, go steal as much food and water as you can carry, non-perishable if you can.

“If we go via the forest we can get to Trost quickly and avoid main roads, there are enough people there we will be less noticeable.”

For a eleven-year-old, it is a surprisingly good plan, if a little extreme, but Mikasa has already nodded and left when Eren thinks to voice his protests.

“You are coming with me?”

“Of course we are, now how to avoid freezing? If we keep moving and use your body heat at night we might be okay, but that’s only if we can find shelter from the wind.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Maybe going through the forest is a bad idea, it will slow us down a lot, but if they look for us they will definitely start with the roads.”

“Armin!”

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to come with me.”

“Eren, you’re family. We’re going to protect you.”

He says it as if it's a fact of the universe, that no matter what, Eren is worth protecting.

Mikasa reenters, bags filled with various tins and packages.

“Let's go.”

And they do, they walk out of the camp with bags of food and clothes and the kitchen knife taken from Shingashima, and nobody notices.

Chapter Text

The world has been dull for a long time. She knows when it started, on the floor of that cabin, bruises forming on her skin, knowing her life is over.

Her kidnappers are talking above her, but their words are muffled. She stares, empty, at a dead rat in the corner of the room. A line of ants swarm its body, ripping it apart, the rat doesn’t move.

It all makes clear, terrifying sense.

She is meat, she has always been meat. She has been hunted and she has lost, and if she does not do something she will be consumed.

Mikasa spends the night fraying the ropes at her wrists on the rough splintered floor. In the early hours of the morning, the rope snaps, and she lies still, waiting.

Her kidnappers have been watching her in shifts, but as the night creeps on they are getting more and more tired. She doesn’t have a weapon, but the kidnapper's knife is sitting at the table. If she can just get to it. His eyes are closed, is he asleep? She moves, dragging herself along the ground, her ankles are still tied.

He doesn’t react, and so she gently unties her legs, moving silently across the room. The floorboard beneath her shifts, creaks, and her captor's eyes open.

For half a second, they stare at each other, and then Mikasa lunges, snatching the knife from the table and stabbing it down into his chest. He slumps, silent, and Mikasa is free.

But there is the other one, still asleep on the other side of the room, she doesn’t have the energy to hate him, he was just playing the game.

And so is she.

She leaves the cabin in a bloodstained dress, the world dull around her.

To the Arlert family’s credit, they do not react when their son brings home a little girl and asks if he can keep her. They just give her fresh clothes and feed her and ask her name. To be fair, Armins parents disappear a few years later via a balloon-related expedition, so maybe they were just weird.

Armin does not see the hunt, for all his talk of ecosystems and the world beyond the walls, he does not see her as a piece in the machine, as meat to be consumed and for that she is grateful.

Mikasa is not nearly as interested in the outside world as Armin is, but his passion, his excitement for knowledge fuels her.

This is what love is, she decides, as he bandages her knuckles after a fight. To ignore the self-preservation, to turn her back on the hunt and follow a young boy to the ocean.

When Eren arrives her world shifts again. Because Eren has seen it, has seen the hunt and the fight and the way things are and he rejects it completely.

Her entire life she has fought to make the pain worth it, to learn and grow, and to never allow anything to hurt her as that night had. Then here comes this monster, this creature whose only goal should be to destroy them all, and he decides to save her.

They are better than her, they are kinder and more gentle and she will do anything to keep it that way.

By the time they make it to Trost, they have run out of food. They find the closest church, and Armin picks the lock, which is something Mikasa didn’t know he could do. They spend the night huddled under a pew, and the next morning they are found by a minister. He is stern and threatens to call the police, but instead leads them to a station outside, where church members are handing out bowls of soup and small chunks of bread.

They sit together on a stoop of an empty house, Eren has his face tilted up to the weak winter sun, and Armin sips his soup.

“We need to find somewhere to stay,” He says, “Somewhere that's just us.”

That is harder than it sounds.

Trost was busy before the wall fell, now it is suffocating, storehouses that once held food are now packed with refugees, there is not an abandoned house or store that has not been found and occupied.

They end up in a shed. It is made of brick, sitting on the edge of the city and piled high in snow, but it is dry and small enough that it stays relatively warm. It takes just a few days of exploring the city to find the various places that hand out food. The church is the best, though it takes a while to explain the concept of religion to Eren.

“Miss Maddylin,” He asks one morning, hands grasped around a bowl of soup. “If the wall is good, why did it fall?”

Maddylin, one of the church members, smiles at him, “The walls are not just good or evil. They protected us because we were worth protecting, but humanity became corrupt, we changed the walls and tried to go beyond her. The Colossal Titan was created as punishment, and that sin must be held by all of us, not just the ones affected.” Eren doesn’t say anything, so she just hands him another piece of bread. “Drink your soup child, Walls know you don’t eat enough.”

“Is it true?” He asks later, “That titans are punishment?”

Armin shrugs, “We don’t know, nobody knows where the walls or the titans came from, but we are going to find out.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Mikasa says, “knowing won’t change anything” Eren doesn’t look like he agrees.

With winter fully upon them, things get difficult. Eren spends most of his time in the shed as their own personal heater but the lack of sunlight means he is sleeping most of the day. Despite the meals from the church, they are still hungry, cold, and weak. One night Eren comes home with a thick, lumpy red scarf and ties it around her neck, “You keep giving the warm things to Armin. You need to be warm too.”

There is a tight feeling in her chest, she loves him so much, she will do anything for him.

Mikasa decides to turn to crime.

It is not that much of a moral dilemma, her family needs to eat, and her job is to provide for them.

Armin raises an eyebrow when she returns with a stolen purse, but dutifully counts out the coins, and hands Mikasa an expensive pair of leather gloves that were tucked inside. “If we are going to do this, we’re going to be smart about it.”

She nods, and Eren fiddles with the purse, watching them.

“Only what we need, we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”

“Of course.”

“And we only target the rich, those who deserve it.”

“They have more money anyway.”

“Okay, let's do this.”

Chapter Text

An analysis of the titan known as Jaeger, Compiled by Captian Hanji Zoe on 2/12/846

Class: Abnormal
Height: 15m
Description: Muscular, proportions normal, shoulder-length dark hair, elongated ears, hocked nose, green eyes.

Sightings:

Jaeger was first sighted during the second scout mission of 11/2/843, he was observed attacking and killing another titan, displaying knowledge of a titan's weak point. He appeared to have no interest in the scouting party. It was determined he was too dangerous to initiate contact.

Jaeger was next seen three missions later, on the scouting party of 4/4/843, he followed the party to Forest Point, staying approximately one km away at all times, and attacking other titans in the vicinity. On attempts made by the author (Cpt Hanji Zoe) to approach, he would ensure distance was maintained and place a hand over the nape of his neck, assumedly for protection. Both oral and visual attempts were made to communicate but were unsuccessful, suggesting that Jaeger does not have the comprehension skills for language and complex thought.

It was suggested that during the scout's next encounter with Jaeger we would attempt to capture him for further study. Cpt Hanji argued for further communication attempts, but on the advice of Cpt Ackaman, it was concluded that Jaeger would be lured to Forest Point and subdued using mounted spears.
Unfortunately, due to our underestimation of Jaeger's strength, and equipment failure (see incident report attached for full details) Jaeger escaped and displayed his first aggression towards humans. At the time, thirteen soldiers were believed dead, and a further five wounded.

Notably, Private Eren Barker did not rendezvous at the arranged point as was assumed dead, the Survey Coups retreated back to the wall, and it was decided that any future attempts to work with Jaeger would be futile.

Jaeger was spotted on 6/12/844 and, on the assumption that he was hostile, evasive maneuvers were taken. He pursued, and after a short chase, contact was forced. Jaeger stayed 100m away, notably far enough that it would take more than one movement with the omnidirectional gear to reach him. He deposited what is now known to be the body of Private Barker on the ground and left, heading east, no attempt to pursue him was made.

No further sightings of Jaeger have been made, apart from unsubstantiated reports of him in Singashima on 2/2/845.

The body of Private Barker was recovered wrapped in her cape, with two blades on her person, noticeably dulled. A full autopsy was performed before Private Barkers remains were relinquished to her family.

Autopsy of Eren Barker:
While we will not delve into the full findings of the autopsy, it is attached to this document and notable details will be discussed.

First, Private Barker's cause of death was determined to be an infection in her leg, as well as possible sepsis. The wound appears to be caused by blunt force trauma. It is notable that the extent of the healing correlates to the two months that Private Barker was missing, supporting the hypothesis that she sustained the injury during the attempt to capture Jaeger.

Her body was malnourished, but her stomach contained cooked meat, and a substance suspected to be fruit or berry. There are also superficial injuries on her body such as scrapes and cuts, that have healed or are in the process of healing. Most notably, Barker broke the pinky finger on her left hand, which had almost entirely healed at the time of her death, showing that she survived at least six weeks, a more accurate time of death could not be determined. As she was missing for over two months, and she could not have put any weight on her injured leg, we are forced to conclude that someone was providing for Barker during her time outside the walls.

As Jaeger is the one to bring her to us, he is the most likely candidate, however, it is possible that there is a colony of humans outside the walls that cared for her.

If it was Jaeger that nurtured Barker back to health, all current knowledge on titans is put into question. Compassion is a fundamental human emotion, and if Jaeger's actions were done out of kindness, then it shows he possesses intelligence far higher than previously assumed. So far, all other titans do not show these differences, apart from the Colossal and Armored Titans, which have been discussed in report 162.

Any connection Jaeger has to these two titans is currently superficial, while it can not be denied that the Colossal and Armored titans displayed the ability to devise and carry out strategy during the destruction of the wall, we have not yet seen them adapt to situations as we have with Jaeger, meaning further study must be conducted.

Page 3 of 10

Armin's hands shake as he replaces the papers in a non-descript black briefcase. Eren had swiped it from a man heading to Trost military headquarters, for fun apparently, and most of the papers were destroyed by the snow and rain, but, well, this explains a lot.

Eren did not remember a lot from his time outside the walls, he describes his thoughts then as being softer, less complex, he has never mentioned a woman named Eren.

He finds Mikasa and Eren rearranging bricks in an attempt to make a fireplace, they have poked out a loose brick sitting a little way up the wall, and are now arranging scavenged stone and bricks to funnel the smoke outside.

“I found the case.”

“Anything good?”

“It's about you.”

Mikasa drops a brick, toppling their makeshift chimney.

“About Eren?”

“About his titan form, it's, well, it’s a mixed bag.”

He hands over the case, and the two of them skim over what he could salvage.
“We need to figure out what we want, are we going to get involved in… this?”

“We knew they knew about me. I- I want to help, I want to go outside the walls again.”

“What if the Military hurts you? People can be as dangerous as titans, and we’ve seen the crown doesn’t really care about us.” Mikasa is rebuilding their chimney, hands steady, voice even. “We don’t need the Military to go beyond the walls, we can just leave.”

“And just abandon them? We have information that can help, shouldn’t we use it?”

“Not at the expense of your safety Eren!”

“Kasa…” Mikasa rarely raised her voice, Armin sighs,

“Whatever we do, we do it together. As far as I can see, we have three choices. We leave, find a place outside the walls and spend the rest of our lives there. If we’re quiet about it, no one will know, and hopefully, we won’t be missed. However, our survival odds will be low, we don’t know how to build shelters, and will have to rely on hunting and scavenging, which will be made difficult due to our lack of knowledge of edible plants. Not to mention there will be titans, we don’t even know if Eren can turn back into one yet.

“Alternatively, we stay here, find a means of income, and hope we aren’t found out or caught by the military. Or-”

He’s been thinking about this a lot, and this report clenches it. “Or we could track down Hanji, if we trust them, we join the survey corps and leave that way. They already have a reputation for disregarding military rules for the sake of knowledge, and they know more about titans than us.”

“That's assuming they are still alive when we get there, and what if they find out? There is less risk just leaving.” She turns to Eren, “What do you think? This is your ability, you should decide.”

Eren turns a brick over and over in his hands.

“I want to know, and I want to help. But we need to meet this Hanji first, and I need to get better at acting human.”

“Okay,” Armin says, “So we join the Survey Corps.”

Armin makes a list. He likes lists, it helps simplify things, and break them down. The list is written on the wall of the shed, it goes like this:

better talking for Eren
Eren keeps healing
Find out where Cpt lives
Prepare for another winter - warm clothes insulate shed get food stock
Start gathering blackmail in case something goes wrong?

Putting all your plans on a wall isn’t the most secretive way to do things, but Armin's handwriting sucks, and he’s pretty sure no one is looking in random sheds for clues about a missing titan.

Finding out the living arrangements of a captain of their military was a very difficult task, so they put it on the backburner and focus on more pressing issues.

Eren still had trouble speaking, often getting frustrated when they don’t understand what he was trying to say. They still hadn’t decided if it is a physical disability or some part of Erens mind that wasn’t in sync with the rest of it. Whatever the cause, the problem was still the same, and so they got to work on a solution.

First, is the gathering of data. The use of visual elements helped, so Armin uses charcoal from the fire to draw on the walls, and Eren wears his emotions on his face, which makes communication easier. But they couldn’t carry around pictures of ideas Eren often wanted to express, and guessing what he wanted took a very long time.

Next, is the application of a theory. Armin had known someone back in Shingashima who couldn’t hear, and so used her hands to communicate. He figured something similar could work. They already used gestures when they don’t want to be heard, and for words Eren often forgot, so putting effort into developing them further wasn’t so hard.

Mikasa ‘acquired’ Armin a notebook, where he kept a detailed list of signs, and variables that changed the meaning. While the goal had been to help Eren, the most interesting development was Mikasa. After a few months their signs had gone from supplementing spoken conversations to the conversations themselves, and without the need to speak Mikasa became a lot more talkative. Armin had generally thought Mikasa was just a quiet person, and that was still the case, but it occurred to him while watching her and Eren communicate that maybe she just didn’t like making noise. A long time ago, Mikasa had told him about her parents' murder, Armin is no psychologist, but that probably had some sort of effect on her behaviour beyond an overwhelming protectiveness.

The notebook also holds his small attempt at blackmail material, Mikasa has an air of someone who knows what she is doing, even when she absolutely doesn’t, and so they have befriended a few of the less savioury characters in Trost. Eren and Mikasa are quick and quiet, and sometimes they get contracted as runners for various people. While his siblings don’t ask questions, Armin does. He now has a small list of names of various business men and military members who shouldn’t be collecting shady packages from homeless orphans.

Armin isn’t entirely sure how to blackmail someone, and he hopes he doesn’t have to learn.

With the ‘help Eren communicate’ plan underway and the ‘learn how to crime’ plan going worryingly well, Armin turns to their next problem ‘Eren keeps healing quickly which is not something humans do’. This one had two solutions, make sure Eren never gets hurt, or make him not heal so obviously.

Despite Mikasa's attempts, Eren will certainly get hurt in front of people at some point, which leaves the second solution.

They start with making small slits on his leg or arm, which Mikasa is not a fan of, and then Eren frowns in concentration as steam curls up from the wound. After a while of experimentation, the wounds begin to scar, and the process slows down, he can’t fully control it, but it's enough that the steam is delayed, and Mikasa won’t let Armin cause more damage to see if it works on a larger scale. It’s a fair boundary to have.

Armin is self-aware enough to admit that Eren and Mikasa possess skills a lot more suited to their life than he does. They are tough, strong, and fast, they are both predators, in a world where you are usually prey.

He will not be left behind.

Chapter Text

Hanji Zoe is having a weird day. They often have weird days, but today was supposed to be normal. They leave a boring meeting about something to do with budget and head back to bully Levi into getting a drink with them, Levi agrees, and they head down to the local bar to get smashed.

The reason Hanji Zoe is having a weird day is that they are being followed, usually, they would just confront their stalker and move on, but they are being followed by three children, which is strange enough to entice Hanji into finding out where this goes. As far as Hanji is concerned, Levi is less a friend being bullied into socializing, and more a friend being bribed into protecting an intrigued scientist. Their stalkers look no more than ten, and they move like a unit, slipping into shadows and following from a distance. But Hanji is a professional, and no matter how skilled, no ten-year-old knows how to stalk someone properly.

They watch through the window of the bar as the kids beg for change outside. “What do we do?”

“Leave.”

“Ravioli, I am being stalked by babies, we have to follow up on this! Maybe they got paid to kill me, wouldn’t that be adorable?”

“You’re insane.”

“Shh, they’re coming in.”

It says a lot about their society that no one tries to kick out three children from a bar. Their eyes are blank and intense, and they approach Hanji like they are trying to be subtle. As they are collectively as tall as Levi, it doesn’t work.

“Are you Captain Hanji?”

“I am.”

Now they are in a proper light, Hanji can get a better look at their adorable would-be assassins. The speaker is blonde, his hair hanging just below his chin, behind him is a black-haired girl who’s watching Hanji with an intensity that is slightly worrying. She is holding the hand of a boy, who’s carrying a heavy-looking backpack and looking around with childlike wonder, which makes sense, as he is a child. When he turns his attention to the two soldiers, there is a flicker of recognition, as if he’s met them before.

The blonde boy pulls out a scrap of torn paper from his pocket, and hands it to them, “We were wondering if you could tell us about this titan?”

Hanji takes the page, smoothing it out to see a messy drawing of a titan, the lines are crooked, but it doesn’t matter, Hanji recognizes him.

Jaeger.

“Are you three hungry?”

They order the kid's dinner and then find a private booth. The brown-haired kid pushes his bowl towards the other two on reflex, not even looking at it.

Interesting, everything about this is interesting.
“Where did you get this? And how did you find Hanji?” Levi is doing a good job of not swearing in front of children, and Hanji is proud of him.

“We met him, in Shiganshina, and well… You aren’t very hard to find.”

This is a lie, Hanji is very hard to find.

“You met Jaeger?”

“He saved us.” The girl's voice is soft, she hasn’t taken her eyes off them since they entered. “When the wall fell Armin got stuck under rubble, that titan, uh, Jaeger, freed him and then fought off another titan so we could escape”

“And you didn’t tell anyone?”

“We were more focused on other things, like not starving.”

There is a bite in her voice that immediately confirms to Hanji that these kids have not had the best experience with the rest of the world. But Hanji has been wanting to know more about Jaeger ever since they spotted him decimating other titans and displaying human intelligence, so they don’t really care that much.

Call them callous, Hanji knew what they were about.

“Did you touch him? Where did he go? Did my baby seem injured?”

“Our questions first. Are you trying to kill him?”

This is a very suspicious question, Hanji doesn’t care. “Kill him? Why would I kill my baby? Would you kill your baby?”

“They’re ten shitty glasses.”

“I have dedicated my life to that titan, did you see where he went? Is he still in Shiganshina? Levi, can we go find him?”

“Why do you want to know about Jeager?”

Levi doesn’t answer Hanji's question, which is very rude. The kids look at each other.

“He saved us, we owe him.”

Hanji looks at Levi in a way that very clearly asks, ‘can I spill government secrets to these children?’

Levi shrugs, because he is cool like that, and so they begin to spill government secrets to these children.

Afterwards, once the three had left despite Hanjis's protests, they try to find more information, because this was a very weird experience.

Hanji and Levi are very good at finding information, due to Hanjis passion for knowing things, and Levis's general bastardry. So a week later they are presenting a substantial amount of information to Erwin.

“Surprisingly, it's hard to verify details when local courthouses are overrun with titans.”

Levi shuffles some papers, “We have records of Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman entering a work camp after the fall.”

“Ackerman?”

“Distant cousin I think. Eren gives no last name. They leave the work camp a little later, and Arlert makes a request for library resources in Trost and is denied, We also have records of them being involved with the church under the names Eren and Armin Arlert and Mikasa Ackerman. Apart from that, all we have is rumours of kids matching their description acting as runners for various organizations.”

“And before the fall?”

“Police reports of four bodies found in a cabin near Shiganshina. There were three white men, two are connected to human trafficking rings, other could be an Ackerman as the woman was identified as Masami Ackerman, so it’s suspected this was a kidnapping gone wrong.”

Hanji grins, because they love a good mystery, and starts pulling out crime scene sketches.

“Reports claim that the kidnappers killed Ackerman, but then Masami fought back, so they were forced to kill her too. After that, the kidnappers argued, and one killed the other and then himself. The interesting bit is based on forensics the last man to die was asleep at the time, making the murder-suicide theory impossible. I think that Mikasa was there as well, maybe Masami died protecting her. She fought off her attackers, and escaped down to Shiganshima.”

“And how old was she at the time?”

“Ah, nine.”

Erwin sits back, and surveys them.

“So, your theory is a nine-year-old girl killed two experienced kidnapers on her own, after witnessing the death of her parents, and then she made her way to Shinganshima and got adopted by two other nine-year-olds?”

“Well she is an Ackerman, they have a precedent for this stuff. Look at Levi, he’s weird as hell and he tried to kill you.”

“Fuck you Shitty Glasses.”

“Look Erwin, these kids had issues. Us level issues, children shouldn’t have us level issues Erwin, we suck! They were testing us, and I have no idea if we passed or not. Isn’t that great?”

“Great is not the word I would use. Worried is the word I would use, I am worried. Very worried.”

“Well, I think it's great. Isn’t that right Levi?”

Levi had left, which was very rude of him. Hanji is having a wonderful time.

Chapter Text

Mikasa approaches the shed carefully, the crate of bricks she’s carrying weighing her down. Eren is lying out front, basking, he opens one lazy eye when she approaches and then scrambles to his feet, helping her move the crate the final few steps.

“Can you speak today?” He shakes his head, unloading the bricks and carefully sorting them, ‘Armins learning how to build a wall’ he signs once his hands are free. They are hoping to move out of the shed, one of Armin's contacts knew of an abandoned house closer to the inner city, but it was so broken down it was barely habitable. So that was their goal, to fix up the house for winter. The goal is more difficult than anticipated, due to them being children.

‘Do we have all the materials?’ she signs, the first goal is to get the house in some sort of standing condition.
‘Lots of bricks, no glass yet.’ She considers this, dumping the bricks into their stolen wheelbarrow, ‘Armin says frame is good, just holes.’

She can’t reply while maneuvering the barrow, and she doesn’t really feel like speaking, so they make their way to the house in silence. It’s a squat building, two rooms on a dump of land covered in rubbish and weeds, but it’s out of the way and Armin can get them the deed, which means the land will be theirs.

It’s been a while since something good has been Mikasas.

Armin meets them at the house, holding a large bag of mortar, his smile bright. “Oh good, you got the bricks.”

She smiles, and then they get to work, the hot sun beating down on them. First, they clear out the rubble, Mikasa and Eren lifting broken shelving and parts of the fallen roof under Armin's careful direction. They remove the lose bricks from the holes in the walls, and Eren scrambles up to the roof to clear off broken planks. Once the inside is clear they begin to rebuild the walls, Armin carefully explaining how to mix the mortar into a paste. It's relaxing, the process rhythmic and soothing, seeing the fallen wall build up slowly under their careful hands.

Next is the roof, the nails they’ve sourced are second-hand, pried from broken planks and straightened by Eren, their hammer is a large rock. The planks were a miracle find, straight and uniform, made of the wide trees only found outside the walls, Mikasa doesn't know how Armin got them, and she's a little afraid to ask. They spend a few days nailing them down, Mikasa and Eren on the roof, Armin struggling to pass the wood up. It's nice, it's good, it can't last.

After the roof and the walls, they start on the floor, it was originally wood, but the planks were splinted and unusable, so they use leftover bricks, Armin spends hours carefully arranging the mismatched shapes, and while he's doing that, they turn their attention to the garden. A small pile is made from the rubbish from the house, and then it's removing rocks and weeds, keeping anything edible. At one point Eren stops Mikasa as she pulls out a strangely shaped weed,

"Make into paste," he says "Good for healing."

She nods, and leaves the plant, moving on to the rest of their makeshift garden.

Apart from the healing plant, which Armin doesn't recognize, they end up with mostly potatoes and a large root vegetable that looks a bit like a carrot. One night Eren comes back with a very aggressive and very pregnant goat, he claims her name is Marmalade. It's as good security as they are going to get, and milk would be a good supplement to their diet.

It takes two months to get the house in working order, windows are sourced from a guy with tattoos and one eye who owes them (read Armin) a favour.

But eventually, they get there, and by the time the first snow falls of their second winter in Trost they have a warm house and two goats and very good vegetable soup. They don’t have many friends, after their meeting with Hanji Armin wants them to lay low so it's just the three of them.

Her days are spent illegally hunting with Eren, teaching him how to move softly in his new body. He hasn't quite gotten used to it, if he doesn't concentrate he acts like he is in his titan form, but he learns quickly. Erens knowledge of animal behaviour is larger than Mikasas or even Armin's. While Mikasa knows how to butcher a rabbit or where to aim a knife to not ruin the meat, Eren knows how to navigate a forest, how to find streams and track animals.

He gestures towards the foliage, and Mikasa sees a large buck grazing a few meters away. It will last them most of the winter and is very illegal to shoot. Mikasa checks that they are still downwind, and then the two of them stay still from the vantage point. She steadies her bow, because there was no way they were going to do this with a knife, and guns are loud and a little too illegal.

She breaths in, out, and releases.

Erens arrow hits its side, just missing its vitals, Mikasas hits the hip, and neither of them are killing shots. The buck bolts, and they wait.

They are far enough away from Trost that she isn’t worried about someone stealing their kill, and it's easier to let the deer tire itself out. After 30 minutes they make their way to the clearing, there is a spot of blood on the ground, and Eren immediately heads into the bush. The walk is quick, and Mikasa slits the buck's throat easily.

They work well together, and when they get back Armin updates them on his Book. He's become obsessed with military procedure, has the career of Erwin Smith memorized and with Erens help has extensive notes on tactics against titans.
After Mikasa's pressing, he keeps up with tactics against humans to, though she can tell her isn't nearly as interested. He knows it makes her feel safer, to be able to hurt people.

She knows her peace is temporary, that in a few years they will join the military and they will leave her garden and the goats and their small cold house and she will follow her brothers into war.

Chapter Text

Eren is very excited to become a soldier. He loves his siblings, but after four years of living in the same room, he desperately wants to talk to literally anyone else. For days before they signed up, he is lectured on how to act, what to say, how to be as unsuspicious as possible. It's getting a little annoying.

It is an incredibly hot day, making Eren fidgety and energetic. He wants to move, but he has to stay still, upright and motionless as the recruits are yelled at.

It will be worth it, he thinks, this is the first step to being free.

As one of the girls in the row near him is yelled at for eating a potato, the wind shifts. There is a scent in the air, faint but familiar, like meat left out in the sun. It takes him a moment to place it, but when he does his heart stops.

Titans.

It doesn’t make any sense, but the smell was unmistakable, humid, and tinged with blood. Panic grips him, this is impossible.

He needs to stay calm, there is no way Titans are here, and if they were the alarm would have already been raised. This means there are titans here that no one has noticed, titans like him.

Armin had theorised that the two titans who broke down the walls were like him, and had a human form to inhabit, which meant…

Somewhere near, was the titan who destroyed Maria. Eren hates them.

Hates what they have done to his family, and hates how desperate they have made the last of humanity, how humiliating it is to slowly go extinct.

He needs to tell Armin and Mikasa, they will know what to do. He can’t talk to them, can’t let the titan know they have been found out. Mikasa is behind him in the line, maybe…

Only a few signs can be done with one hand, even less from the awkward angle of the salute.

The sign for ‘there is danger here be quiet’ is one of them.

‘Titan’ is not, but he tries his best.

He repeats these two signs over and over, he can’t turn around to see if she's responding, all he can do is wait, and hope that she understands.

After the potato girl is sent to run laps, they are shown to the mess hall, Mikasa finds him immediately, with Armin right behind her.

‘What's wrong?’

They can’t risk anyone hearing, so she's asked in sign. He tells them, and Mikasa immediately wants to leave. ‘This was a bad idea, they destroyed the walls, we can’t fight that.’

‘No, this is an opportunity, if we find out who they are we can-’

‘We can what? Kill them? Will you really let me kill someone Eren?’

It’s not even a question, that Mikasa would kill for him, but only if he told her to.

‘We can help. If we know who it is we can stop them.’

They might have gone on, but Armin effectively ends the conversation by taking their hands, stilling them both.

“We don’t know nearly enough to do anything yet. We stay, we watch, and we learn. Yes?”

They both nod, there is very little use arguing with Armin.

“Good. Now let's go get dinner and make some friends.”

Dinner, as it turns out, is some form of slop and bread. Eren tucks his bread away and allows Mikasa to dip her spoon into his slop from time to time. They sit with some of the other recruits, and the conversation washes over him.

“What was that hand thing you were doing earlier?”

The speaker is a short bald boy, Conny, if Eren remembers correctly. He might not.

“Sometimes I have trouble speaking, so we use hand signs to talk.”

“Why can’t you speak?”

Eren can feel Mikasa bristle next to him, he shrugs. “We don’t know. After Shingashima it's like I know the words, but I can’t reach them.”

The room stills around them. Right, he isn’t supposed to talk about that.

“You were at the fall?”

He looks desperately at Armin, because he is good at solving problems. Armin shrugs.

“Did you see it?”

“See what?”

“The colossal titan. The one who broke the wall.”

“I didn’t. Armin did though.” Please Armin, please take this conversation away from him.

Thankfully, Armin starts describing the titan, and Eren can push his bowl away from him and head outside.

They never talked about the fall in detail. Sure, they had planned out their new version of events when looking for Hanji, but actually discussing it? Eren knows that day affected them more than they liked to admit, he knows it in the way Mikasa will look at them, like she can’t quite comprehend she is something precious to them, how Armin compulsively analyses every single problem they could have, he always needs an escape route, a plan. How at night they will cling to each other, as a reminder that they are real, that they are safe.

He wonders how many recruits are like them, and how many will be like them, by the time the war is over.

Eren is disrupted from his thoughts by a pretty blonde girl he remembers from orientation, she is holding a canteen of water and a wrapped loaf of bread, watching potato girl run.

“You also brought her food?”

She starts, almost dropping the water as she turns to him, “The mess hall is closed now, it must not be nice to go hungry.”

“It isn’t.”

She looks at him carefully.

“Were you hungry a lot? After the fall I mean.”

“People were nice at first, gave us food, but after a while…”

We ran, and we didn’t stop.

“After a while we were more annoying than pitiful. And it wasn’t worth it, to be nice.”

She hums, but doesn’t say anything. “What is your name?”

“Krista.”

She answers like she is unsure, but Eren was unsure of his name at one point too, so he doesn’t hold it against her.

“I’m Eren.”

At that point, potato girl has finished her laps, and is stumbling towards them, Krista smiles at her, “We brought you some food, Sasha.”

Sasha's reaction is immediate, snatching the food Eren had begun to hold out and tearing into it with her teeth. Krista falls back in shock and Sasha is on her instantly, taking the second loaf of bread and gulping down the water far too quickly. Eren is reminded of the feral cats he used to hunt, wild and desperate.

As soon as it begins, it is over, Sasha falling asleep on Krista's lap, muttering something about a goddess.

“She’s a fucking weird one, isn’t she?”

Eren really needs to learn people's names, the girl that spoke has freckles and brown hair tied in a ponytail, Eren wonders if he can pull off a ponytail.

“You know gorgeous, aligning yourself with potato girl isn’t the smartest move, at least mute over here has an overprotective family you can use.”

“Excuse me?”

“Ymir! Don’t be mean, she just ran for five hours.”

“Yeah, because she’s an idiot.”

Eren looks between the two, they seem to be having a conversation he can’t quite hear. “You are not very nice.”

“Amazing deduction, planning on setting your sister on me?”

“Ymir!”

He turns to Kirsta, “I will take Sasha to her room, Mikasa can look after her. Will you be okay with…” He gestures to Ymir, who scowls at him, Kirsta smiles, “She’s really nice if you get to know her.”

“Shush, I have a reputation to keep, beautiful.”

“I'll take your word for it.”

He lifts Sasha easily, “It is nice to meet you, Krista, I hope we can be friends.” He turns to Ymir, “I would be careful around my family, they can be dangerous.”

There is a flash of something unreadable in Ymir's eyes, “They’re not the only ones.”

Chapter Text

Training is brutal. Mikasa and Eren take to it easily, hard years on the streets honing their bodies and minds to the discipline of the military. Armin likes the rules, sure, but he’d known from the start that the physical aspects would be hell for him. He had never been the one doing the running, the fighting.

On top of that, he has so many things to worry about, his siblings are relying on him to come up with a plan, and Eren and Mikasa are still at odds on how to proceed, every setback being a reason to leave, to run. It's frustrating, exhausting, not knowing who to trust.

Armin is paired with Krista for the combat exercise, it is possibly the first time he has ever won a fight. She takes it well though, accepting his hand with a smile as he helps her up, brushing the dust off her trousers. Armin wonders idly if there is a tactical reason their uniforms are white, it certainly isn’t practical.

“We’re both small, and not physically strong, so use that to your advantage. You won’t be able to beat most people in a strength contest, so fight dirty. Go for soft spots, groin, nose, eyes, stuff like that. When you’re the attacker, don’t try to intimidate, you’re cute, use that.”

“How do you know this?” Kirstas hair is coming out of its ponytail, she really is cute, dangerously so.

“Have you met my siblings? They’re convinced that if they leave me alone for five minutes, I will get mugged.”

“They are… a lot.”

Armin glances at Eren, who seems to be having an argument with Reiner. “They’re both sweethearts, just not very good at talking to people. And like you’re one to talk, you have a Ymir-shaped shadow glaring at anyone who wants to befriend you.”

Krista blushes, “yeah okay. Can you try to stab me again? I think I’ve got it this time.”

“Sure.”

Armin loses the next round, which is rather embarrassing.

One problem at a time.

Eren is doing well controlling his healing and sneaking around food. People think he is weird, but he’s well-liked, his strange combination of earnest and blunt endearing him to a lot of the cadets. It’s hard to tell if people like Mikasa, she isn’t particularly interested in other people's opinions, but people admire her at least, and seem to have accepted that if they hang out with Eren, they have to spend time with her too.

And befriending their comrades is important, not only because they may be fighting beside each other one day, but because of the looming threat Eren had noticed on the first day. There are one or two titans among them, either as a cadet or a trainer, and they may be the ones that destroyed the wall. Eren is fairly sure that they are a member of his bunk room, but with so many people in such a small place, he can’t narrow it down.

If both the colossal and armoured titans were here, it would make sense they would stick together, so he observes the friendships that had already been formed. Looking for a pattern, for them to slip up.

Sasha and Conny. Sasha had latched onto Eren quickly after that first night, helped by Eren sneaking her his meals, Eren claimed she was from a forest village near the south of Wall Rose, but her accent is from the interior. Conny, Armin doesn’t know that well, but his carefree personality could be an act.

Ymir and Krista. These two Armin thinks are the most likely candidates, Kristas kindness has a deliberateness to it Armin doesn’t quite trust, and Ymir seems like such a dick there is no real reason the two should be together without some deeper trauma bonding them.

And they are together, as far as Armin can tell, Ymir certainly claims they are, and Krista never disputes her.

Reiner and Bertholdt have a diligence to them that makes them very good soldiers, but honestly, Armin finds them a little boring. Reiner is passionate, dedicated, the perfect soldier, he really doesn’t seem like the type of person to commit genocide. But then again, none of their comrades do.

Bertholdt is the epitome of a follower, which is probably useful in its own right. He reminds him a little of Mikasa actually, quiet, unassuming, willing to attach to someone else's ideals instead of following their own. Unlike Mikasa, however, Armin has no idea what drives him.

Armin also has no idea where they are from.

It’s possible, they don’t draw attention, they are nice, they are fine. If Armin were a mass murderer, he would be going for fine too.

Jean and Marco. Another couple Armin can’t really see as murders. Eren has a rather funny rivalry with Jean, who excels at flustering him, but Armin quite likes him. He’s a good leader, good at reading situations and reacting quickly., and he’s the only other person who will actually discuss military strategy with him. Marco is also nice, fun. He does have a passion for serving the crown, which makes Armin a little uneasy, but that has more to do with Armin than Marco.

If there is only one titan, then the search radius increases. Annie is a high possibility, she is incredibly apathetic, but Armin has seen her during combat, and she is ruthless. Out of all the cadets, she would be the one Armin can see killing someone.

So he’s gotten nowhere, he is pretty sure the titan isn’t Conny or Jean, but Armin is limited in his investigations by a lack of motivation. His current theory is that Eren being so kind is unusual for shifters, that their attackers are more titan than human. But Eren is very clearly not human, and it has taken years for them to control his powers. Is the titan just a very good actor? But if their goal is to destroy humanity, then why haven’t they done so yet? There must be some sort of limiting factor, some other goal.

He doesn’t have enough information, there is something missing, but he has no idea what it is.

Armin wishes Mikasa would let him talk to Hanji, their years beyond the wall would be invaluable, but he knows his sister, and she’s barely tolerating them being here at all. He wishes Erens memories were clearer, that they had the power to just demand answers from people.

But no, if Armin had learnt anything from their time in Trost, it’s that there is always a fight you can’t win, fights you have to sneak around or avoid. His power is in information, they hold cards people don’t even know about, they need to use that. To win they need allies, need knowledge, Mikasa and Eren will keep them alive, and Armin will make sure they win.

Chapter Text

Levi is not thrilled to be at the Southern Training Center. Hanji is going on about nostalgia and how much things have changed,but Levi has never been here before, and he had hoped to keep it that way.

‘The best cadets we’ve seen in years. Worth talking to, and Hanjis pet projects are there as well.’

Yes, the three children that asked them about Jaeger, the ones Hanji has been slightly obsessing over. They had gotten word that the three had joined the military, and finally they had an excuse to investigate. Pity he has to interact with so many children. He watches them manoeuvre around fake titans, some of them are actually quite good, all too overeager, but good.

“Tell us about the top ten.” It’s a good enough place to start, and two of the mystery children made it in.

Shadis frowns, “They haven’t been finalised yet, currently tenth is going to either Krista Lenz or Armin Arlert. Lenz is competent and good at following orders, but doesn’t partially stand out talent-wise. She’s very popular though and if she gains a spine she might be a good leader. Will need a crash course on military strategy, but I can see her doing well in the Military Police.

“Arlert barely passed the physical training, clearly he didn’t bounce back from malnourishment like his siblings, but he has also been singled out for leadership positions. He’s incredibly strategic and showed a great deal of ruthlessness in simulations, excellent academic scores as well, reminds me a little of your commander.”

It is always bad when someone is reminded of Erwin. Especially when that someone is as meak looking as Arlert. He continues down the list, Levi is getting a little bored.

“Fifth is Eren Arlert, strong as an ox but probably simple, won his spot through sheer force of will, and the fact that his siblings spend hours tutoring him. Can’t speak sometimes, which will be a struggle once he joins the Survey Corps, but his brother has made many arguments for the strategic benefits of sign language.”

Right, Arlert hadn’t spoken a word when they had met, trauma maybe? Or perhaps it had something to do with the malnourishment he had mentioned. It was interesting that he is so sure they will join the Corps, but Levi isn’t about to complain.

“Mikasa Ackerman, talent clearly runs in the genes. She’s not as strong or strategic as her brothers, but she excels at ODMG and hand-to-hand combat. She’s calm under pressure and has excellent reaction times, but struggles to socialise or work as a team.”

It fits with Levis investigations, three adopted siblings who try and sometimes fail to keep under the radar. Talented, shockingly ruthless for their age, incredibly close.

Fuck, he was starting to like them.

“You said a few of the top ten want to join the Survey Corps.”

“Both Alerts have some sort of obsession with outside the walls, and Ackerman will follow them anywhere. They talk a lot with the others, so you might get a few of them who were persuaded to your side.”

Levi's official job was to give a speech to persuade more people to join the Survey Corps. It was a job he wasn’t looking forward to, but apparently being humanity's strongest required PR stunts.

“You have been told of the honour and glory of serving the other units, I’m not going to bother with that. The truth is, you want to be safe, and I don’t blame you. But no matter what branch you choose, you will not be safe. Any moment now, Rose could fall, and then there will be no interior to hide in, no place for humanity to flee. The only way for your family to survive, for you to survive, is to fight back. You can starve inside these walls if you want to, but I have no intention of dying like a pig.”

Hanji later tells him he was a bit of a bummer, but he didn’t want to be here anyway.

That night Levi is exploring the forest, desperate for some space without sweaty teens, when he hears the voices. Manoeuvring to a tree high above the sound, he peers down at three figures at the base, the creepy trio. Does Levi feel a little bad about listening in? Yes. Does he do so anyway? Also yes.

Ackerman has Erens head in her lap, hand stroking through his hair, she and Armin seem to be arguing, keeping their voices low to not wake their brother.

“We’re getting nowhere Kasa, after we graduate we will have no way of investigating, we need to tell someone, they could help.”

“They’re going to ask questions, and when we can’t answer they are going to separate us. I won’t allow that to happen.”

“And if we tell the truth?”

There is a pause, sharp and quick.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Think about it, they are already suspicious, Captain Hanji clearly cares more about information than the government, and they like us. Captain Levi’s background is very similar to ours, he probably has no love for the crown. The only question is if they are more loyal to the commander than their ideals like you are.”

“And if they are?”

“Then we find out what he wants, and we give it to him. They aren’t our enemy Mikasa.”

“Not yet.”

“Kasa…”

The argument seems well trodden, they have had this conversation before.

“How do you still not get it? The commander has sent thousands to their death, you think he is going to care about three more? The only reason Eren trusts Levi so much is because he wants to fuck him, I thought you would be able to see that.”

This conversation has suddenly gotten very uncomfortable for Levi.

“That’s not true.”

Mikasa pitches her voice in a poor imitation of her brother, “Mikasa, have you seen Captain Levi? Did you hear his speech? He’s soo strong, and he can kill a million billion titans, and he does this spinny thing with his blades where he holds them backwards and its soo cool Mikasa you should see it, and he has really nice hair.”

“Mikasa, are you… jealous?” Arlert can’t keep the laughter out of his voice. “Eren thinks you are very strong too, and he likes your hair a lot more than the captains.”

“I’m not- Eren can date whoever he wants.”

“I know he can. I’m sure you can do the spinny thing too if you practise.”

“I don’t want to do the spinny thing.”

“Will you two shut up?”

There is a shifting below him, and when Mikasa next speaks there is an unmistakable smile in her voice.

“It’s a little too dark for you to be awake.”

“You argue loudly, we suggest to Hanji our theory, Armin uses words to make it seem like their idea, we join the scouts and then you can threaten the Commander as much as you want. Or not at all. Not at all would be good. Also, I don’t want to sleep with anyone, the spinny thing is just cool.”

“How long-”

“Quiet.” It says a lot about their relationship that they both fall silent without argument, “Someone here.”

“Who?”

“I can’t tell, you two are too close.”

How does he know? Levi is far above them, and hadn’t made a noise. It doesn’t matter he decides, he has to leave, talk to Hanji. Levi makes his way out of the forest, one question rising out of the many questions he now has.

When on earth did Eren see him do the spinny thing?

Chapter Text

Historia is honestly surprised Mikasa did not immediately run off into the woods as soon as Shadis was out of sight. ‘Get out of your comfort zone’ he had said, ‘learn to work with other people’.

What this actually means, is that they do not get to pick their group for the snowstorm exercise. This is how Historia finds herself with Sasha, Reiner and Mikasa, slowly making their way through a snow-covered forest. Reiner and Sasha are bent over their map, discussing contour lines or something, Mikasa is slowly sipping water, watching.

“You know she’s just taking us hunting right?”

“What?” Says Reiner, at the same time Sasha says “how did you know?”

Mikasa shrugs, “I know what tracking deer looks like, you’re better than we were though.”

Reiner starts berating Sasha, and Historia turns to Mikasa, “I thought you grew up in Trost?”

“Nobles like keeping patches of forest to hunt in.”

“That seems illegal”

“Well yes, it is illegal.”

Reiner appears to win the argument with Sasha, as he turns to talk to them, “We’ve been going the wrong way, there’s no way we’re winning now. But Sasha says if we follow the river we can cut down on time.”

They start walking, and Historia hurries to walk beside Mikasa, “Did you do a lot of crime in Trost?”

She is silent, and Historia can tell Sasha and Reiner are listening intently. “Not really, Armin was worried someone might try to sell me if we got too involved with dangerous people.”

Historia stops, Mikasa keeps walking, “...sell…you?”

“We knew a few girls who went missing, so we never did anything more than running stuff.”

“Sell you.” Historia repeats again, Mikasa has only just noticed everyone else has stopped.

“For sex work, yes. They never did anything, but Asian girls go for a lot, so it was better to be careful. We stuck mainly to poaching.”

She looks at the sky, “I think the blizzard is about to hit, we should find shelter.”

Mikasa keeps walking, Historia gives Sasha and Reiner a look. They look back. ‘Sell her’ she mouths, they nod. She looks back at Mikasa, who has almost disappeared into the trees by now, and runs after her.

“How did you manage to not get caught poaching?” Sasha asks later, Historia is very grateful for the break in the silence.

“Armin found out the guard routines, we didn’t use guns because they made noise, we only got caught once.”

This is the most Historia has ever heard Mikasa talk, she kinda wishes she would stop. “You got caught? How did you get out?”

“Went after a pheasant, the meats good but its more closely guarded. Armin told one of the guards he would send in a tip about who was selling weapons to the underground if they didn’t let us go. It didn’t work.”

She is talking as if her life is not more insane than Historias, it is very disturbing. “So what did you do?”

“Armin sent in the tip, he got arrested and we broke out in the chaos. You never make a threat you aren’t willing to follow through on.”

There are many things she can say to that, she doesn’t get the chance to say any of them, as the wind picks up as soon as she opens her mouth, a flurry of snow hitting her in the face.

It takes less than a minute for the day to turn from overcast to raging storm, visibility dropping to a metre as the sky darkens above them. Mikasa takes her hand, red scarf the only visible point of colour around her. She yells something, but Historia can only hear the rushing wind above her. Her other hand finds Sashas sleeve, and together they walk, stumbling into the wind until the space ahead of her turns to dark rock. They make their way along the cliff until it curves into a narrow cave. They stumble inside, and Historia breathes a sigh of relief as the wind no longer bites at her skin. Her face is still numb, but at least it's sheltered here.

“Is everyone okay?” she asks, taking out one of their three torches and her firestarter, striking the flint until she gets a spark. The torch doesn’t give off much heat, but she can see their frightened faces in the flickering light.

“No, it’s freezing.” Sasha rummages threw her bag, pulling out blankets and rations.

“But you’re not hurt.” Reiner says, “We should only light one torch at a time, is there any firewood in here?”

“Everythings damp.”

They sit in silence for a while, staring at the light, Historia can feel her eyes drooping, the excitement of the day catching up to her. “I’ll take first watch.” Reiner says, “You girls get some rest.” Historia nods, and curls up against Sashas side, relishing the small amount of warmth, Sasha shifts to accommodate her. That's the good thing about Sasha, it's never a challenge with her, never a game. When you're surrounded by people who constantly want things from you, open people are to be treasured. Sasha holds out her free arm to Mikasa, an easy grin still on her face.

“You’re going to freeze over there.”

Mikasa hesitates, but moves to sit beside her, stiffly allowing Sasha to wrap an arm around her shoulders. Historia laughs slightly, and falls asleep.

She wakes up to Sasha leaping up, knocking Historia to the ground. There is a lot of yelling, and she is still so, so cold. It must have been a few hours because there is a fresh torch gleaming brightly in the dirt. She scrambles to her feet, dimly aware that she doesn't have a weapon, she snatches up the torch from the ground and faces their attacker.

A bear, brown and furious, covered in snow and launching itself as Reiner. None of them have their gear, but Reiner carries a small, unusual knife on him at all times, and he’s facing down the bear as if his knife is much larger.

Sasha has her bow, Mikasa a slim kitchen knife, which no one dared question. Historia opted to bring extra torches instead. She is regretting this decision.

Reiner lunges at the bear, and is swept away by a giant paw, but not before he wedges the knife in its shoulder blade. Sasha lets lose a single shot, piercing close to where Reiners knife is, the bear stumbles back, but before she can relode Mikasa darts in close, knife gleaming.

Historia has seen Mikasa fight before, but the only time she seemed to care about the outcome was her spar with Annie, and even then it was only until first blood. Watching now, she can see how they survived on the streets of Trost.

She slips below the bear's front legs, taking advantage of it being off balance. Her free hand goes to Reiners knife and she pushes it in deeper, holding on as the bear rears back with a scream. Then puts her weight on it, using the blade as purchase to swing onto the bear's back.

There is a single moment when Histora can see her clearly in the flickering light. Kitchen knife in hand and a ferocious clarity in her eyes as she stabs down on the bear's nape, right where you would hit a titan.

The bear buckles, trying to throw her off and Mikasa goes flying, hitting the hard cave wall with a thump.

“Sasha,” she hisses, “Shoot it!”

Sasha fumbles with her bow, but the bear doesn’t seem to be interested in a second round, allowing her to release two arrows, clustering around the wound left by Reiners knife. The bear turns and bolts back into the snow, leaving broken arrowheads in its wake.

They have had a small amount of training in field medicine, and Historia had thrown herself into whatever she could get. She knew, logically, she should have spent more time with her swords or on hand to hand, but there was something soothing about being able to heal people.

This is all to say that she knows Mikasa doesn’t have a concussion, but is still very worried.

“I’m fine.” She mutters, sounding slightly amused as Historia pokes at her head, “Can you teach me how to shoot like that?” She asks Sasha over Historias shoulder.

She splutters, “You want me to teach you something?”

“I never really got good with bows, but Armin has this whole thing about using long ranged weapons against titans, and you managed to be spot on even under all this pressure.”

Sasha glows under the positive attention, “I guess I did, didn't I?”

“Did you get hurt Reiner?” Historia asks, turning her attention away from Mikasa, he shakes his head, “Just a few scrapes.”

She examines him anyway, “are you sure? You’re really warm.”

“I know I’m hot baby, but it’s nice of you to admit it.”

She laughs, “Okay, you aren’t going to die, get up.”

The storm had calmed down at this point, and none of them wanted to stay in the cave, so they moved on. They walk slowly, being mindful of Mikasa's ribs and head, following the line of the river as the sun rises behind them.

Chapter Text

Eren is teaching Conny various swears in sign. The sun is out and bright and they are spending the day cleaning the cannons. He knows that soon they are going to have to worry about graduating, about losing the titan that broke down the walls, but Mikasa is smiling, helping Sasha hide away some meat she found. Armin is talking to Jean about military formations, and not even Jean to ruin his day. His family is safe and happy, and the sun is warm.

The rush of steam nearly knocks him backward and sears his skin. There is no time to think, to act. All he can do is anchor himself to the wall and look, desperately, for his siblings.

He doesn’t find them.

In times of great stress, one's priorities are often revealed. Eren faces the colossal titan, his skinless face steaming and shifting, and he doesn’t know what to do. Because he needs to know where his siblings are, needs to know if they are safe.

But on top of that, his humans are in danger, he sees Tomas fall, blasted off the wall by the heat, and he moves. One anchor slices through Tomas’ leg, the line elastic enough to not snap his neck when he comes to a jolting stop. The other anchor lodges him to the wall and Eren sits, staring at the monster in front of him.

Eren hadn’t seen the colossal titan last time, but he knows what this means, Wall Rose is about to fall.

If he stays he can find out who the titan is, he could hide in the rubble and wait for the titan to disappear.

He isn’t going to do that.

Scoping up Tomas, Eren goes to yell at his comrades to run, but his throat is closed, the words drifting away in his panic.

“We need to evacuate, help defend people closest to the break. Eren, take Tomas to the top of the wall, he will be relatively safe there and we don’t have time to head back. The titans are bottlenecked right now, we can hold them off a little until people can retreat.”

It’s Armin, calm, clever Armin.

“Mikasa?” Eren signs with one hand.

“Protecting civilians, we are going to need you to lift the rubble, hurry.”

Eren hurries.

On the ground he can see a group of soldiers distracting the titans trickling into Rose, Eren runs from collapsed house to collapsed house, freeing people and helping them to escape. He finds more bodies than survivors.

If only he was a titan, he could help, fight. But no, if they know they will kill him, they might kill his family, Eren won’t allow that.

There is a desperate need for him to see Mikasa, to make sure she is okay. He hears a scream, and it sounds too much like her to ignore so he swings up searching for the noise. They are retreating, the titans overwhelming their forces, the colossal looming over it all.

He sees Mikasa, alive, controlled and for a moment they look at each other, see each other. Jean and Armin are perched on top of a building, talking quickly. Eren starts to make his way towards them, when out of the corner of his eye he sees a titan, its steps deliberate.

He goes to shout a warning, but all he can manage is a wordless yell, still, it gets their attention and Jean leaps out of the way just before the titans hand clumsily smashes into the roof.

Armin does not.

In times of great stress, one's priorities are often revealed. Eren sees his brother collapse, sees the titan reach for him, and knows he will not get there in time.

Jaeger will.

His arms are already cut from lifting unwieldy rubble, and it is so easy to allow his true form to fold around him, to embrace the anger and the hunger. It takes two steps to reach Armin, a single hit to take down the Titan. He scoops up Armin as tenderly as possible, tears are running down his face.

“You’re an idiot.” Armin sobs, “Thank you.”

Eren touches his face with a massive finger.

“Mikasa?” He signs with one hand.

“I’m sure she's on her way.”

As he speaks Eren feels something alight on his shoulder, “Armin, are you alright?”

They’re both here, both alive, a rumble builds in Eren's chest. “I’m fine, the colossal titan is evaporating, we missed our chance. Eren, there is a boulder to the west of here, can you carry it?”

“You planned for this?”

“I plan for everything. It’s my thing.”

His humans are so quick, so smart. Eren nods, he can carry a little rock for them.

“Mikasa, you guard him, I’ll try to persuade the captain not to kill him.”

“What will you say?”

“No idea.”

Armin takes off towards the walls, Mikasa perches on Erens shoulder, directing him.

“This is going to change things, you know that right? They won’t trust us anymore.”
He can’t respond, she keeps talking anyway.

“I saw Armin fall, Eren. I thought- I can’t lose either of you.”

Her hand tightens on his hair, “The shifters might come after you, if something goes wrong we’re leaving, okay? I don’t care what it takes, I’m not losing you.”

The boulder comes into sight, “let's go.”

She moves from his shoulder, taking out a titan with one quick swing. Eren approaches the boulder, bending down to lift it onto his shoulders, its much heavier than he thought it would be.

It’s a vulnerable feeling, he can’t use his arms to defend himself, can only take one staggering step after the other. Even with Mikasa darting around him it feels strange, to not be able to fight.

But still, he steps, tries to focus on his surroundings. Out of the corner of his eye he can see more people approaching, Mikasa meets them, and then Captain Levi is sinking an anchor into his shoulder. “Nice to know you aren’t dead Jaeger, had a good time outside the walls?”

Eren ignores him, the boulder is really heavy.

He just needs to take another step, then another, his siblings will look after him.

There is yelling all around him, the increase in activity attracting titans, who are unceremoniously slain by Levi and his squad. A small part of Eren is happy to see the spinny thing again. It really is cool.

Ahead of him, Armin is leading a distraction, luring titans out of his path and down side streets to be killed by more experienced soldiers. He is worried, but he trusts Mikasa has her eye out for him. When had Armin planned this? There was no way he could have known the colossal would reappear, did he strategize on the fly?

The weight of the boulder is already deteriorating Erens body, the rough surface digging into his skin, surrounding him in steam. He can’t see, simply stumbling forward blindly towards where he thinks the hole is. He can smell more titans here, overwhelming. They smell of blood and heat.

“Left.”

It’s Mikasa, she isn’t on his shoulder, somewhere above him maybe? He turns left.

The hole in Rose appears ahead of him, the titans already cleared away. Eren doesn’t place the boulder as much as collapse under it, his body breaking now that the job is done.

Titans don’t sleep. The closest Eren gets is floating, time drifting and twisting away from him, seeing a reality so detached and strange he can barely understand it.

Last time he died, his eyes were closed.

This time he is awake, eyes wide open.

Mikasa scoops him up, taking advantage of the steam to leave without being noticed. She is carrying him bridal style, his cheek pressed against her scarf. She doesn’t say anything until they land in an abandoned building. Mikasa props Eren up and checks his vitals, Armin enters as she is finishing.

“Were you followed?” Her voice is clipped, to the point.

“I don’t think so, is he okay?”

“He’s asleep I think, vitals are fine, what’s happening out there?”

“The wall was plugged, I told Captain Levi that Jaeger had reappeared with the other titans, I think he brought it, they’re examining the body now. We can wait until Eren wakes up and then rejoin, say we were trapped by titans or something.”

“This is getting dangerous, Armin.”

Armin doesn’t reply, at first Eren thinks he is just collecting his thoughts, but then he hears the door creak open. “What's going on here?”

The voice is Reiners, he sounds confused, vulnerable, Mikasa draws her blade.

“Did you follow us?”

“You’ve been acting suspicious, Eren turned into that titan, didn’t he?”

“Take one more step, Reiner, I dare you.” Mikasa's voice is as cold as ice.

“Reiner, listen to me, he isn’t dangerous.”

“He’s the titan Armin, you need to hand him to me.” Reiner finally steps into view, and Eren has no idea what his expression is, “I won’t hurt him.”

“What do you mean by ‘the’ titan?”

“I said don’t move.”

They speak at the same time, and Eren can hear the panic in Mikasa's voice, she’s been pushed too far.

It all happens very quickly, Reiner tries to move past Mikasa to Eren, and Mikasa strikes. Her blade sinks into Reiner's chest, just above his heart, she draws it out and he falls.

Even if Eren could move, he wouldn’t know what to do. Mikasa picks Eren up and slings him over her back, using her scarf to secure his arms around her neck.

“We aren’t going back.” Her voice is blank, in a way it hasn’t been for a while.

“I’ll grab his gear, there is a military building on the other side of the wall which should have gas and more blades, it’s far enough away there shouldn’t be many titans. Food will be spoiled but I know there are some small farms that might have surviving flocks.”

“You aren’t going to argue?”

“You tried it our way, we trust you, Mikasa.”

The sun is out and bright and Eren is about to leave the only home he has ever known, but his two humans are with him, safe and alive.

That’s all he needs, for now.

Chapter Text

Marco Bolt dies alone.

It is a simple thing to say, true for so many soldiers. The problem is, that to say Marco Bolt dies alone would not be entirely true.

You see, when Marco Bolt sees his friends talking in hushed voices, he does not think to hide his approach. Because those are his friends, and they have nothing to hide.
Marco Bolt hears ugly truths and is incapable of believing them.
When he asks for an explanation, he does not think he will be denied one. And when they strip him of his gear, he only protests lightly. These are his friends, they must have their reasons, even if he can not think of any.

It is only when the titan approaches and his friends leave, that he realises something is wrong. The single reason they would take his gear, they are not his friends. They leave with sad eyes but sad eyes do not matter if they are not trying to help. The titan's hand is large and hot, and he fights it. It is natural to fight it, Marco Bolt does not want to die. He has ideals, stupid, naive ones maybe, but ideals nonetheless. He is a good person. His friends will save him, and then they will explain.
Marco Bolt is loyal, but he is not stupid. The pieces click just after the nick of time and the conclusion is not pretty, it's not right. It’s not possible
The titan lifts him off the roof, and his friends watch. They are too far away for him to look them in the eyes, are they crying? They must be, he’s their friend and he’s about to die. People cry when their friends are about to die.

He needs help, he asks for it, pleads for it. They do not move. The titan puts Marco's arm in its mouth and he manages one more word.

"Why?"

No one answers, and he screams.

Marco Bolt dies surrounded by friends, and he doesn't know why.

Chapter Text

One of the worst things about Jean is that he is upsettingly good at sign. He and Armin have filled an entire book with notes, including peoples personalized Name signs, adding in the military signals they learnt during class and spending the evenings together pouring over books. Eren isn’t jealous, it’s just that Jean sucks, really sucks.

Unfortunately, Shadis is nice enough that when they are sent out on group missions he makes sure there is someone on the team who can understand him if words become a strange, heavy thing he can not interact with.

That person is always Jean. Always.

The teams are tasked with getting to the snow lodge without dying. They are given a map and basic supplies, and are allowed to pick one extra item each, he takes more torches, hopefully, the light will keep him awake longer.

Alongside Jean, he is teamed with Ymir and Marco. Marco, whom Eren likes, always calms Jean down before Eren does something dumb like punch him, or get punched. Eren is also very invested in the two of them dating, as far as he can tell if Jean dates Marco he can’t date Mikasa. And while Mikasa doesn’t care about the constant flirting, Eren cares a huge amount. Because, once again, Jean sucks.

Ymir, Eren likes a little less, he has become fast friends with Krista, who is nice and doesn’t judge him when he doesn’t understand something he is expected to.

Unfortunately, Krista is dating Ymir, and despite nobody understanding why she refuses to stop. Eren has recently gotten very invested in the concept of dating. Titans are solitary creatures, and it’s pleasing to find out humans aren't. After some strange conversations he is informed he, Armin and Mikasa are more ‘siblings’ and not ‘romanticly involved’. He is still not fully confident about the difference, but he has been told he’ll know it when he sees it.

He already has people he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and it’s nice to know others do that too. It’s also nice that this is the only real thing he has to worry about, people, their feelings. It’s a big change from worrying they are going to freeze each night, it's a good change.

The point is, if any activity is possibly dangerous, Eren and Jean are always paired together, because Eren is, quote, ‘worryingly codependent’. Neither of them are happy about it, but after the first few punishments, they have stopped complaining and settled with silently scowling.

The mission itself is rather simple, they argue though deciding on a path, argue about when to take breaks and by the time they get to the winter training centre Eren is pleasantly tired. He has only had to throw up once, a hunk of bread he couldn’t get out of eating that sat heavy and uncomfortable in whatever he has for a stomach. He and Ymir had a shockingly nice conversation about how to help Krista get into the top ten and he had been able to talk the whole time, which means he didn’t have to interact with Jean.

He isn’t surprised to find out Armin's team arrived first, but they aren’t last and the weak winter sun is high enough in the sky he can stay up and wait for Mikasa.

It is only when clouds begin to form he gets worried, Armin seems to be thinking the same thing “She was with Sasha, Reiner and Krista, right?” Eren nods, “Sasha did really well on the navigation lectures, they should be here by now.”

“Unless something went wrong.”

Shadis tells them they are being paranoid, that there is plenty of time left in the activity, and that going out to find them is a terrible idea. Unfortunately, he is right, if only for the reason that the sun is setting and Eren can feel his eyelids getting heavier. He ends up curled against Armin, drifting into what he tends to think of as sleep. He can hear them talking, and if he concentrates he can even understand what they are saying, but otherwise he just drifts.

“Aren’t you worried?” That’s Ymir's voice, gravely and harsh. “Your- whatever is out there, probably freezing. And you two are just going to sit and cuddle?”

“Of course we’re worried, but there is nothing we can do. I trust Mikasa, I trust her ability to survive and come back to us and I know that going out in that weather is a terrible idea.”

He can tell Armin is only slightly lying, he wants desperately to look for her, but Eren can’t leave and Armin won’t go at it alone. He forces his eyes open, Ymir is in full outdoor gear, glaring at them. “Krista will be sad if you die.” He says, “Don’t want a sad Krista.”

“Krista won’t be anything if she catches hypothermia.”

“It’s late and it’s dark and it's cold. We wait for the storm to pass and then do a systematic search for them.”

She sits back down, sighing. “Fine, but as soon as it’s light we’re going out there. She’ll still be pretty without her fingers, but it would be inconvenient.”

Jean makes a joke about why losing fingers would be inconvenient to Ymir, and the resulting fight keeps Eren interested enough to stay up, even if it’s just to see them both beat up.

“She will be fine, right?” Armin whispers to him, “I could gather others, sneak out.”

“She’s Mikasa,” Eren says back, “She won’t dare die without us.”

It’s the last thing he says before things get fuzzy, his thoughts a swirling mass of worry.

The next morning is crisp and clear, but Eren is still awake far earlier than he wanted to be. Shadis collects volunteers for the rescue mission and soon Eren finds himself walking through the snow-covered forest, listening to the river on his right roar with early morning snow melt.

He is the first to hear the voices, and he takes off running, ignoring the yells of ‘Eren!’ and heading into the trees. Mikasa appears to be walking fine, and she catches Eren easily enough as he throws herself at her.

“You didn’t come back.” He mumbles into her shoulder, she’s still taller than him, it's annoying.

Mikasa runs a hand through his hair, “I had to fight a bear first.”

“A bear?”

“A bear?”

Ah, clearly Armin caught up, he latches onto Mikasas other side, Eren thinks he can hear someone snicker, he doesn’t care.

“Mikasa was awesome!” Sasha exclaimed, “She just went for it, fucking crazy jumping on the bear like that.”

“You jumped on a bear?” Armin's voice is as cold as the surrounding snow. “Are you hurt?”

“Krista says I’m fine, just cold. And with you two smothering me that won’t last long.”

“You love it when we smother you.”

“Are you three done? I’m freezing my tits off.”

“What tits Ymir?”

“And our lovely moment is over.” Armin smiles as they start walking back, “I’m still mad at you, you fought a bear, without us.”

“I wasn’t about to let my friends die.”

“Friends?”

Mikasa blushes slightly, “They are nice, Sasha shoots well.”

“A glowing compliment. Are you really alright?”

“Just a bump, really Armin, I had fun. We bonded.”

Eren laughs, “Mikasa makes friends best when she is stabbing something, Shadis will be proud, his plan worked.”

“We are glad to see you branching out,” Armin says. “But we really were worried.”

“I know, and I’m sorry, but it was quite exciting to stab a bear.”

Chapter Text

During their first winter in Trost, Armin almost died.

He came down with a terrible fever and spent a week shivering and starving in their uninsulated shed. Eren refused to leave his side, curled around him like a giant, worried heater. Mikasa shut down, turned into a strange, emotionless creature he barely recognised. Every movement she made was calculated and necessary and ruthless. And when she came home with the medicine he desperately needed but they could not afford he was too weak to question it. She has refused to tell them where she got it from. It scares him, the idea she may have done something they would disapprove of, something so horrible she can’t tell them. It was a terrible week, and this, hiding in titan-infested lands, reminds him of it.

Eren still won’t wake up, Mikasa won’t trust Armin to leave the windmill he found and they are slowly running out of food. He knows better than to argue with her, she won’t hurt him, she would never hurt him, but there is a tension in her body he doesn’t like.

For the first time in a long time, they are truly on their own, with no church to turn to, no friends or commanders or authorities. There are only three of them, alone and surrounded.
Armin had never really been scared of titans, when the wall fell, the only one he had met was Eren. And Eren is so human it is hard to imagine anything connected to him being harmful. When Trost fell everything happened too fast to be scared. There had been a single moment when Eren transformed where Armin was sure he was about to die and the fear had taken him and held him and frozen him still. But then his family had come, like they said they would, like he knew he would.

He is scared now, as he waits for Mikasa to come back from scavenging, scanning the buildings for her flair. Eren sleeps beside him, breaths slow and even.

From the window he sees red smoke snake its way into the empty sky.
The signal, she’s in trouble. He takes one final look at Eren and goes to find her. The hideout they had chosen is a broken windmill, the tallest building in a row of squat buildings, giving them enough height to avoid the titans and warning them if the military comes after them. He had thought there would be a gentler gradient from the tall industrial buildings of Trost to the ones in the outer city, and was disappointed to see the small farm buildings reminiscent of home. They had passed through here, he knew, when they evacuated, but he can’t remember it. Those first few weeks are a blur now, just a meld of terror and hunger and confusion. He refocuses on the rescue, the smoke signal isn’t too far, but he still takes longer than he would like, hyper-aware of how much gas he has left.

Mikasa is on one of the roofs, barely avoiding a long, snakelike abnormal. The abnormal isn’t giving her enough time to regain her balance, constantly striking and she dances around it, trying to reach the neck. She is moving slower than normal, and Armin quickly realises why. There is a long gash down her leg, blood flowing freely and preventing her from counterattacking.

He doesn’t have time to strategize, every time the titan strikes Mikasa is slower to get away. Armin readies his swords, as he has done hundreds of times in training, readjusts his wires, and goes to kill his first titan. The strike is precise, right at the nape, and for a moment the titan stills and Armin lets out a ragged cheer.

And then it turns, slowly, steam rising from his neck, still alive. The cut was too shallow, he had failed, and they were going to die.

But his attack had done something, it had slowed the titan, distracted it, and given Mikasa the two seconds she needed to take a breath, regain her footing and go on the attack.

It is sometimes easy for Armin to forget how powerful Mikasa is. He often thinks that her cold toughness is a smokescreen to hide the soft, loving interior. This is not entirely true, Mikasa is power personified, she is anger and hate and love barely constrained in an icy indifference. Her and Eren have that in common, he thinks distantly as she dispatches the titan in one quick movement. A burning inferno, kept alive by the staunch belief that somewhere, somehow, things must be better.

The titan doesn’t die, but they probably have a few minutes before it can move again, and so they head back, Mikasa's leg trailing uselessly behind her.

Mikasa's military uniform is nearly destroyed at this point, the tough white fabric stained with blood and dirt. He cuts it away, the bite to her thigh is deep, jagged and bleeding freely. They don’t speak, and Mikasa doesn’t flinch as he dabs alcohol onto the cut. She’s going to need stitches. Armin is reminded of home, of bandaging her knuckles after a fight, she had seemed invincible then, now she just seems tired.

“I love you.” He says. It’s as good a place to start as any, “but we aren’t going to survive here.”

She doesn’t say anything, but Armin thinks this is the right angle, weighing her pride against their survival. “I think we can make our way to Karanes, there is this forest on the way, once there no one will know who we-”

“No.” His heart sinks, he can’t do this without her, he won’t.

“I-” she stops, trying to collect her thoughts. “I told you about the cave, didn't I?” He nodded, nobody had been happy about the cave.

“If I hadn’t been there, Sasha and Krista and- and Reiner, they would have died. I don’t- I don’t want them to die, Armin. There was this girl, in Trost, I saved her, she is alive because I was there. I am proud to have kept this family alive, and I think Eren is right, it feels… nice to save people. If I have to be a hunter, I want to hunt monsters.”

The speech is halting and slow, Mikasa never was one for speeches, but Armin understands what she means.

“I saved you.” He says, instead of what he wants to say, which is ‘I’m sorry.’

“And Eren saved us, and no matter what, we’ll keep saving each other. So let’s go hunt the monsters,”

Her smile is watery. “Let's hunt the monsters.”

Chapter Text

Further examination of the titan Jaeger, taken directly from the diary of Hanji Zoe.

There are many questions I have been forced to accept may not have answers. What is the difference between a man and a woman and why can no one properly explain it? How can Levi be so short yet so angry? For a while, I had begun to accept that the mystery of Jaeger was one of these questions, but no more, Journal, no more!

Eren Arlert, a name that both delights and upsets me, Jaeger.

Here’s how it went down, the colossal titan reappears, destroys Rose, we arrive on the scene and are told by Armin Arlert that Jaeger has reappeared via the hole and is fucking shit up. They have managed to communicate with him, and they are planning on using the bolder to plug the hole.

We have two choices here Journal,

1. Do not question this, accept it as it is, ask questions later.
2. Do question this, confront Arlert about this very suspicious behaviour, accept the idea that the weird child I have been stalking for six years may be able to control Jaeger, or turn into him. Ask questions now.

If we know anything about my children-to-be, they are very paranoid, so we go with option one. Ask questions later, save the world now. We support Jaeger, kill a bunch of titans (sad) and once the hole in Rose is plugged, we prepare to ask questions. Then they disappear.

Journal, this was not the plan.

The plan was to slowly and without their knowledge adopt these three weird children, not for them to die. To be clear, I do not think they are dead, I think my lovely lovely children panicked in the face of adult supervision and ran away. Officially, however, they are dead.

Due to them having no immediate family, we allowed their comrades to attempt to steal their belongings, as keepsakes. Before this, however, we did have a little look into their personal belongings, like creeps. There we found a kitchen knife (taken by Lenz), a wooden statue of a goat (don’t know who got that one) and most importantly, a series of notebooks.

Walls, I love this child.

A few of the notebooks are coded, but I am an adult, and he is not. I will decode these notebooks, but not yet as the code is shockingly well done. From what is written in a language I can read and the diagrams provided (he did diagrams!) Here is the new information I have gained about titans and also Eren. As Erwin has decided this information is classified and legally my children are dead.

Eren has the ability to heal, and can not eat food. Like a titan! Because he is a titan!
There is a diagram that seems to indicate Erens physical form is located in the titan's weak spot. I do not know how they know this, but I have many theories,
It appears his origins are murky to his family as well, with theories ranging from him being the result of human experimentation, all titans having humans in their napes, or him being from a species of titan shifters living outside the walls.
There is a list titled ‘things Eren can remember’. I can’t read the entire list, but the implications alone are wonderful

I also found a black notebook that appears to contain blackmail, a few appear to have been used? I’ve handed it over to Erwin, let him deal with gross human stuff, maybe it can be useful for his plans to… do whatever it is he wants to do.

So here's the plan, we don't know where they ran off to, or why, but we need to head out beyond the walls anyway and that’s the most likely location. Maybe.

We have made outposts in titan territory before and using the canel to our advantage I have proposed creating a series of outposts leading towards Shiganshina, with the hopes that by the time we are established we will have the ability to actually do something about the very large hole. The walls are too thin to properly transport supplies so we can either lead horses along the bottom or, we can try something a little weird. Which is my favourite way to do things.

Armins notes often bring up the idea that titans are afraid of water, there is not a huge amount of bodies of water to test this theory, but going over notes from previous expeditions shows that it is at least plausible.

We stock up one of the barges that were used to move refugees during the fall with building supplies, man it with a skeleton crew - probably team Levi - and use Erwins nifty new communication to draw the titans away from the water. The canal is very wide, and according to my calculations, only very large titans or abnormals will be able to jump onto the barge.

This serves many purposes, I get information on this water theory, we can move a large number of supplies deep into titan territory, Levi can traumatize the new recruits and hopefully, we can draw out our missing titan. There are still more details to work out, but we’re getting there. I’m excited to see some more of my babies soon!

On a more serious note, we’re still dealing with the shitshow that was Trost, at least I take solace in the fact it could have been so much worse. From what we can figure out, Armin prioritized evacuating civilians over the lives of soldiers. Attacking when they are still pinned by the narrow entrance was dangerous and slightly cruel, especially for untested recruits. Did he know, that his order would send many of his comrades to their deaths? I can only imagine he did, it’s a classic Erwin move, I hate classic Erwin moves.

So Trost still isn’t safe, even ignoring the titans that still haven’t been cleared out we have a huge amount of houses that are uninhabitable, and now the gate is sealed with a giant boulder, which blocks the titans, but also the us. At least there are plans to reopen the city but the government's food stores never recovered from the first fall and this many refugees may bring us to collapse.

Anyway, that’s not my problem, my job is titans, something that requires all my attention. Every time we get closer to the shape of things something new comes and changes the game, it’s thrilling. Currently, the connection between Eren and the titans that attacked the wall is undetermined, I think they are the same… species… is that the right term? Titans that can become human, a new form of abnormal. Do they know each other? Did Eren and his family know who broke down the wall? Are all three like that? I am reminded of the conversation Levi overheard all those months ago, they mentioned a theory, so maybe they have a suspect? This is assuming I am reading Armin's notes right and Eren is Jeager, he may still just have control over him. But if they don’t know, then why was Jeager so involved in the fall? So many questions, and no answers. Perhaps we should have moved earlier, taken them off the streets and allowed trust to build that way. At the time it was decided that move was too risky, if they are what we think they are, then we want to keep the attention of the crown away from them, scientific progress will be severely hindered once they know what's happening, and I’m sure Erwin has some sort of plan that requires Jeagers true nature staying secret.

There is little use dwelling on the past, we put the pieces together the best we can and then we move forward. The goals stay the same, learn as much as we can and save the world, if there’s time. It’s nice to finally have some movement after these years of waiting and planning. I want to get back in the field, touch some titans, and finally have a proper conversation with Eren!

That’s all for now! I’ll update you if I survive the trip, we should be heading out in a few weeks, and tell you about any cool titans I see.

Chapter Text

To say that Historia Reiz has never loved anyone this much would be a lie, perhaps it is more accurate to say she never allowed herself to love anyone this much.

It is selfish of her, so extremely selfish.
That is the thing Historia loves most about Ymir, she allows her to be selfish, to do things just for her. It has been a long time since Historia has been selfish.

Maybe it is because she has never seen love, proper love, true love, before she joined the army.

There is the possessive, grasping love of Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. Historia saw how they couldn’t seem to function without each other. How when Eren very obviously and rather hilariously watched Captain Levi sit with the other teachers Mikasa would grip her fork tightly as if she was imagining stabbing it into his jugular. Not because she was jealous of his position but because she was terrified something would tear them apart. It is the type of love forged from trauma and despair, from having your world burn and only one precious thing surviving.

There is the soft, gentle love of Jean and Marco, or Sasha and Conny. Two people who like each other and are looking forward to liking each other more.

Neither of them feels like the type of love she and Ymir share.

They are still getting to know each other, trusting each other completely and utterly, still wrapped up in the excitement of a new relationship. But they both understand there is a time limit, that there are secrets, and they can not keep those secrets forever.

Being a member of the Survey Corps is a little more boring than Historia would have expected. They alternate between basic chores - cleaning, preparing supplies, training - and cleaning up after Trost.

Historia is excising the horses with Jean, anyone else would have made a joke about Jean and horses, but Kirsta is too nice a girl to do that.

Historia thinks it anyway.

“Do you think they died together?” Jean asks. They had been working in silence, but it sounds like he has been thinking about this for a while.

“I don’t think any of them would have allowed it otherwise.”

“Marco died alone.”

She doesn’t say anything, what is there to say?

“He didn’t have his gear, he was stranded somewhere without his gear and he died alone.”

“He didn’t have his gear?”

Jean ignores her. “He wanted to join the Military Brigade, we were going to be happy in the inner walls together and instead I’m out here with you suicidal idiots. No offence.”

It would be very hypocritical for Historia to take offence to that.

“Then why are you here? Revenge?”

“I guess.” He sounds resigned, empty.

“It’s okay, you know? To live for revenge.”

“Is it?” Jean isn’t looking at her, she thinks he is crying.

“I don’t think this is a world where we can be happy, and I think if we don’t feel anything we’ll just waste away. And at least anger is an emotion, fuel, to keep going.”

“You’re pretty depressing sometimes Krista.’

She smiles, it feels wrong. “I guess I had this dumb idea that out of all of us, Eren would be the one to survive or go out in a blaze of glory. Instead he just… disappeared. ”

“Like I said, depressing.”

“What was it like, when Jaeger came?”

“There was this… light. I heard someone yell, and when I turned back he was standing over a titan with Armin in his palm. I just- we were so far away from the hole, it’s like he came out of nowhere.”

“A light?”

“I don’t know, everything happened so quickly. The captain seemed really interested though.”

The second half of the day she is on Trost duty. They don’t allow people to go out in the field for too long, something about having time to rest in between killing titans, but more experienced soldiers took the front lines for that, leaving the rest to identify bodies, find survivors and help make the city habitable. They were still in titan territory, and the lingering anxiety of one appearing whenever she turns a corner never left, but throughout the whole experience, she didn’t see a single titan.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard, Kirsta is the type of girl to make friends, and Historia had made a point of befriending many of her comrades. She got very good at putting names to bodies. They had made their way to near where the wall was breached and she is on the ground with Ymir a few blocks away, close enough to shout should she find something. There is a moan, and Historia perks up, grateful to find a survivor. The girl is pinned under rubble, the gaps between large chunks of the wall too small for titans to fit, but Historia is small, and wiggles her way to her.

“Hello.” She says softly, the girl sobs.

“What’s your name?” Historia tries again, “Can you speak?”

“Please.” Her legs are pinned, as is half her torso, “Please.”

“I have water, and I can go get help. You must have been here for days.” She’s a little older than Historia, and when she goes to call for Ymir her free arm shoots out and grabs Historias wrist,

“Don’t leave.” Her grip is shockingly strong.

“If you want to get out of here I need to get help, I can’t lift those rocks on my own.”

“Not even titans could lift them, I could hear them, they don’t make any noise but I could hear their footsteps, sometimes they would lift them up a little, but they always dropped them, that hurt the most.”

Her voice is raw, so Historia pours some water into her mouth, asking her name again. “You’re pretty,” the girl says, instead of answering, “I always wanted to die beside a pretty girl.”

“You aren’t going to die, the titans are gone from Trost, we just need to get some pulleys of something, get you out of here.”

The girl laughs, “Pretty and smart, I really lucked out.”

“My girlfriend is two streets down.”

“Well, now I really can’t let you leave, not until I die at least.”

“You aren’t going to-”

“Maybe you aren’t as smart as I thought,” Her voice is sharp, “Either they somehow lift these rocks, which they won’t, and I die of shock, or they cut off my legs and I die of blood loss. Even if I survive then what? A legless soldier, what a joke.”

“A legless, living soldier.”

Her grasp on Historias wrist is weakening. she could leave if she wanted. The girl seems to be able to see the dilemma in her eye, because her voice grows desperate,

“Please, please don’t leave. I don’t want to die alone, they are going to come back. I just want to die on my own terms, I don’t want to be eaten, I can’t give them that, please.”

Krista would go back, get help, get this girl out. Historia understands the desire to rebel in whatever small way she can, she understands the need to die. “What do you need?”

“Your blade, then you can leave if you want, I don’t care what happens to my body.”

She hesitates, desertion is illegal, Historia has no idea what suicide counts as. Tears fill the girl's eyes, Historia draws her blade and folds the girl's weak fingers around the handle.

“Thank you.”

She goes to lift the sword, but her wrist is too weak to manage the weird angle. Historia knows, in one terrible second, what she will have to do.

She takes her sword back, prying the girl's fingers off one by one, she seems too weak to talk now, just watching desperately. Krista would change her mind, go get help, Krista would be crying.

Historia does neither, just holds the blade to her throat, “are you sure?”

“Please, it hurts.”

“What’s your name?”

“You first, pretty girl.”

“Historia.” And how cruel of her, to use this moment to rid herself of her secret.

“Historia,” She murmurs, “I would like to die now, Historia”

She leaves the small cave of rubble with blood on her hands, and tears in her eyes and goes to find Ymir.

Ymir is moving rubble, a few streets away so Historia takes her hand, and leads her to an abandoned house.

“Trying to distract me from my duties for a saucy hookup babe? Because it’s working and I love this new side of you.”

She blushes, but says nothing, just tugs Ymir onto the bed behind her and tucks herself into her arms. Ymir wraps her arms around her stomach and tugs her flush against her, hooking her chin over Historias shoulder.

They lie in silence, and Historia has never felt smaller or more safe, Ymir is rubbing small circles into her stomach, not at all concerned that this is not the saucy hookup she was expecting. And it’s this that breaks Historia, the fact that Ymir, who tries so hard to pretend she doesn’t care, is willing to sit in silence just because she can tell Historia needs it.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Ymir shifts slightly, her lips brushing Historias neck.

“My real name isn’t Krista.”

“I know.”

Her heart stops. “You do?”

“I’ve seen through you since day one, that’s why I love you.”

“And you don’t mind, that I can’t tell you?”

“We all have secrets. I don’t care who you are, or what you’ve done. I am going to hord you, until you get bored of me or we die. Whichever comes first.”

“And if I tell you a secret, you won’t tell anyone?”

“Never.”

They lie in silence for a while longer, Ymir's body a comforting weight against her. If she can tell anyone her theory, it's Ymir.

“I don’t think they’re dead.”

“Who?”

“Eren- and his... It just doesn’t make any sense. How did Jeager get so far in the walls without being noticed? And why did Armin trust him immediately and communicate with him, after even Hanji couldn’t? Something’s wrong, Mikasa wasn’t even looking for Eren during the fight, she panics whenever he stubs his toe.

“Jean said he saw a light when Jaeger appeared. I just, I don’t understand.”

Ymir shifts behind her, tucks her head into Historias neck. When she speaks, her voice is muffled.

“Guess it's my turn to share a secret then.”

“Hm?”

“Seven years ago, I woke up outside the walls. And when I made my way inside, everything had changed. I didn’t need to eat, I healed far too quickly, society was… different. I kept my head down, my eyes open, and decided whatever was going on was none of my business. But you think about stuff like this, ya know? I think- I think I was a titan. I don’t know how, but I was a titan and I can become one again, if I want. And I think Eren is like me.”

Ymir's hands around her stomach are tight, like she is afraid Historia will leave if she lets go. “Say something, I can’t see your face.”

“I love you.”

“But..?”

Krista would tell her they need to go to Erwin, that this could turn the tide of the war. Krista would say ‘but we are soldiers, and we have a duty.’
Historia doesn’t care about any of that. She remembers how cagey Eren was whenever they had group bonding sessions, and how intensely their superiors asked questions after Jaeger's reappearance. Historia doesn’t want Ymir to be under that scrutiny.

“No buts. I love you and I care about you more than I care about them.”

She has never said that aloud before, never acknowledged how terrible it is, how evil.

“Does that make me a bad person?”

“No, it makes you the best person, Krista.”

It stings, for Ymir to use her false name. Makes it feel hollow, insincere, but Historia doesn’t correct her, she can’t, not yet.

Not yet, but soon.

Chapter Text

It is a terrible feeling, to know you are a bad person. The first time Bertolt accepts this about himself it the fall. When he bites his hand, tastes the blood on his tongue and knows that there is no going back. There is a moment, a second after the transformation, when he rises above the wall and knows that he can not change his mind, this is it.

He kicks down the wall with a detachment he doesn’t really understand but will learn to embrace. The titans gather, and he allows his body to crumble around him. Later, they will discuss the advantages of OMG gear to escape from such a height but for now he is forced to climb from his disintegrating body, his own boiling skin burning his hands, which heals at the same time blisters bubble.

He stays close to Annie, and they disappear amongst the other refugees, trying to ignore the fact that this is his fault. It is not hard to hide amongst humans, a large portion of their training was dedicated to learning how to halt their healing abilitys, how to use their strength proportionally, how to maximise the amount of sunlight they are getting. They spend those first few years integrating themselves, learning the culture, the rules. They spend nights listening to the other workers tell their stories, and Bertolt swallows down bile. He hates himself, but not as much as he hates them. They don’t even know, don’t understand they are currently losing a war, that he is winning it.

They do not suspect Eren at the start. He isn’t sure why, in hindsight it makes sense but there were just so many things weird about him the titan aspects were hidden. Maybe it was because he wasn’t expecting the founder to be a part of his training, in his mind Eren is just another victim, not a potential enemy, or a potential ally. So he keeps his mouth shut, keeps quiet, and waits until their next move.

The waiting is the worst part, He tries not to talk to Annie, it’s better if there are no connections between the two of them in case one of them gets caught. But he misses her, misses her confidence, her calm assuredness. But he can’t, and is forced to watch Reiner deteriorate. At first, he thinks it's all an act, but one day he mentions home and Reiner looks at him with such sincere confusion he knows in his heart that this isn’t Reiner, or even worse, maybe it is.
Some part of him can’t tell Reiner the truth, he allows him to buy into his own delusion and let's him pretend, for just a while, that they are good. It’s a lonely thing, to bond with his comrades, to listen to them speculate on the colossal and to hear the hatred in their voices. Every day he wonders if Reiner is too far gone, too immersed in this idea of being a good man, rather than the monsters they are.

And then Jeager appears. From what he found out later, Jaeger had been known to the military, knowledge kept under a tight wrap by the Survey Corps. He gets wrapped up in the fight, in Marco overhearing them, in Marco dying. And then Annie pulls him aside, face serious.

“It’s Eren, the founder’s Eren. Reiner has gone after them.”
He finds Reiner drowning in his own blood, sees the steam rise in clouds and when it dissipates all that is left of his injury is a rip in his shirt, the exact size and shape of a titan killing blade.

“Fucking Mikasa.” He says, and then he takes a breath, and lets the mask slip back. Bertolt turns to Annie, “What now?”

“If they see Reiner alive then its all over for us. All we need it to grab Eren and get home, having Reiner fake his death could be useful.”

“But he’s…” Bertolt gestures, “Reiner.”

“Did they say anything else Reiner?”

He frowns, “They said they were leaving, that Armin wouldn’t argue with Mikasa anymore.”

“Fuck.” Annie is scowling, “Reiner could just come back then, if they aren’t there to contradict us then what does it matter?”

“But if they come back…” She nods, “Good point Bert, if they come back it’s all over for us, humans don’t survive wounds like that, If they have run away then we need someone higher up to get information, someone in the survey corps to go look for him, and if Reiner pretends to be dead he can go as an in-between.”

“It will be dangerous to split up,” Reiner says, good, he’s himself again. “They took my blades, but we still have Marco's gear, which might be useful. If anything we could sell it.”

Outside a titan walks past, thundering steps making them all freeze. Thankfully they hear a scream in the distance and it ignores their hiding spot, speeding up to whatever poor human caught its eye.

“It’s decided then. Annie will join the Military Police, which gives her access to the Royal family as well as any news about the founder, Bert, you join the Survey Corps, and find out what they know, keep an eye on any future plans. We will probably spend the next few weeks cleaning up here, but after that I will go between you as much as possible, get you anything you need. If the Military doesn't make a move then maybe head outside the walls and find Eren myself, untrained like that and with two humans to take care of he won’t survive long, and then we have to start from scratch.”

It’s terrifying, to go out on his own, but he doesn’t complain. It’s a good plan, their plan and his job is to follow, to do what he’s told. He gives Reiner a final hug “We’re Warriors.” He whispers, “remember that.”

And then they leave, worry bubbling up inside him.

“Maybe this will help him.” He says to Annie, “Being away from all of this.”

She nods, “Lets go pretend to cry at funerals.”

She’s lying, they both are. There is no need to pretend

Chapter Text

People don’t really ‘get’ Hanji, and that’s okay, Hanji knows they aren’t an easy person to ‘get’. There is the whole gender thing, which they would rather not talk about, thank you very much. The good news about the whole gender thing is that when you are on the edge of extinction, things like that matter a lot less, unless you are snobby and rich, which Hanji is not.
Then there is the whole titan thing, which isn’t that weird according to Hanji. The people who don’t care about the giant nonsensical humanoid monsters attempting to murder them all are the weird ones.
But that’s okay, they have Levi, and maybe he is a rather short, OCD-prone freak, but he’s their freak and they love him. Levi is also the only person Hanji knows won’t die on them. In this line of business that is important.

This is all to say that Hanjis's relationship with the new recruits is friendly but distant. They are painfully aware that most of them won’t make it past the first mission, but they aren’t a dick about it. These kids are cute and new, excited about the possibilities and unaware of the dangers. Hanji is also hopeful for their future, they’ve already survived Trost, already faced titans. They know that the biggest killer with new recruits is the fight, flight or freeze instinct. Fight or flight gives you a chance, freeze is a death sentence. So many pick freeze.

Which is why they don’t get too attached, it's one of the first things you learn, love strong people, those who are unlikely to die on you. Callous maybe, but in this world, you learn to be kind to yourself.

They have been tasked with guarding the barge along with team Levi and a few of the new recruits. It had been a long discussion, about if they should bring people Eren would know, but eventually, Erwin decided it was a good idea, and Hanji didn’t really have a reason to argue against it. There was also the problem with the large bolder blocking their way. Luckily there are smaller, less well-known channels through the wall, some of them less legal and definitely less managed than the main one. It adds an extra day to the trip, and leaves them vulnerable until they join the main canal, but what can you do? Hanji wonders distantly how long it will take before they die.

And that’s the crux of it, waiting for an attack, for things to go wrong. The barge moves slowly through farmland, and Hanji makes a point to notice every tree and building they could anchor to. There are fewer than they would like, and the canal is lined with buildings, but they are squat and the trees are covered with leaves, giving cover but making anchoring harder. Somewhere in the distance are the distractions, mounted units leading titans away from the river. Any that get through are to be dealt with by the skeleton team, but so far things have been quiet.

There are three boats, and Hanji is taking up the rear. There is nothing to do during the wait, so they move from the bow to the stern and back again, full of restless energy. The trees move past, Hanji waits, the trees move past, Hanji waits, the trees move past. Hanji waits.

Slowly, the houses become larger and more abundant, the canal cutting right through a farming village. Levi alights on the deck, “Three meter to our right, wanna test your theory?”

“More than anything. And the correct term is starboard.”

“Fuck you.” Levi turns to the rest of the recruits. “Listen up, we are testing the water theory, stay calm, stay ready and don’t attack unless ordered. Remember your formations.”

He leaves as quickly as he arrived, and Hanji grins, “You heard the man, let's go do some science!”

Hanji’s newest baby is wandering the streets ahead of them, so they leave the boat to go say hi. He is small and fat, dim even for a titan and they have to get weirdly close for him to even notice there’s a human around. All in all, a perfect subject.

“Oh aren’t you handsome!” They croon as he takes a slow, lazy swipe at them, “Come with daddy, we’re gonna play a little game of tag.”

The chase is easy, Hanji even has to double back when the titan losses interest, but eventually they make their way back to the barges, joining the new recruits to watch what the titan does.

He stops at the bank, goes to step into the water, pauses, looks at the boat. Hanji is almost salivating. The three-meter keeps pace with them, but never once tries to enter the water, causing the rest of the recruits to breathe a sigh of relief. Behind them, Hanji hears the sound of ODM gear and assumes Levi has arrived. “Are you seeing this?” They ask, because is he? Is he seeing this?

“It’s fucking weird, do you think it will work on a bigger one?”

They consider it, “Maybe, maybe this one knows he won't make the jump? Can you find me a bigger one? With longer legs perhaps, see if he tries to make it.”

“Oh yeah, let me just conjure up a fucking titan, you want anything else with that my lord? Foot massage while we’re at it?”

“Can’t see you being able to touch anyone's feet Ravioli. And anyway, we’re in titan-infested lands, shouldn’t be too hard to find one.”

“Do not complain about a lack of titans Shitty Glasses, I will stab you.”

“You say the nicest things.”

Levi does bring up a good point, the area they are in was far more populated compared to the surrounding area, so theoretically the titans should have lingered, maybe they dispersed over the years? Hanjis luck was never that good. “Should we send out more scouts?”

Levi is about to answer when there is a clattering as someone lands unsteadily beside them, Lenz, a new recruit, tenth in her division if Hanji remembers correctly. Her breathing is unsteady, “Abnormal ahead, it's weird and long and heading straight towards us.”

They look up, scouring the buildings, and they see it to their left, perching on a rooftop. Lenz is right, it is weird and long.

It skitters towards them on all four limbs, its disproportionate neck stretching out in front of it, overgrown teeth snapping. It is about twenty meters long Hanji estimates, and fast, there isn’t time to decide if they should kill it now or let it attempt to reach the boat, it makes the choice for them, leaping off the rooftop and over the edge of the canal.

To be a soldier, one must be very good at judging distances, it’s part of the whole ‘fly through the sky killing monsters’ thing, and Hanji immediately knows the titan is not going to make it. They are only partly right.

The titan crashes unceremoniously into the water, its long neck stretching further and further until its jaws clench around the side of the barge. If the force wasn’t making the boat tilt wildly, Hanji would take a moment to appreciate how weird their job is.

The barge is heavy, weighed down by building supplies, it sits low, and the impact forces water to dip below the gunwale, Hanji doesn’t know a huge amount about boats, but that seems bad.

The barge rights itself, but it is now far too low for comfort, one more dip below water level and they are going to start to sink. “Lenz, grab some others and start bailing, it would be very embarrassing to die via drowning and some of our equipment is water sensitive. Levi, can you take it?”

“With pleasure.”

Levi really is good at this, his movements are fluid, and precise. The abnormal is thrashing in the water, rocking the barge back and forth, sloshing more water over the side. Then it goes still, its jaw detaching from the side of the boat as he makes the cut, Hanji takes a moment to mourn the loss. The recruits are franticly bailing, but it will take a while to remove all the water, so no more experiments for now. Hanji takes a spyglass and scans the rooftops as they pass, not wanting to be surprised again, they focus on where the abnormal came from and are surprised to see a trail of blood on the roof.

“Levi, does that look fresh to you?” They hand the spyglass over, pointing to the house with the blood on it, he raises it to his eye and looks for a long few moments.

“Seems like a fight.”

They hum in agreement. “No steam either, that means it's not titan, could it be one of the kids?”

“I’ll stay here, you check it out.”

Hanji gives Levi a lazy salute and makes their way over to the roof, the barges are moving so slow they aren’t afraid of being left behind so long as they’re quick. Their runaways being here would kind of make sense, far enough away from the wall that they wouldn’t send people this far to look for them, and this is the only place with tall buildings for kilometres.

There was definitely some kind of altercation on the roof, blood splatters the tiles, and many of them are disturbed or cracked. The house they are on had been taken over by weeds, so Hanji focuses on the disturbances, fresh movement or trampling. There appears to have been only one injured person, they follow the long arching lines of blood, interspersed with heavier drops, lots of movement then, not many pauses. The trail ends at the edge of the roof and for one horrifying moment Hanji is afraid to look down, but the street is empty. That doesn’t mean they survived though, from what they could tell, the snake-like titan couldn’t have swallowed anyone whole, but that doesn’t mean that another titan wasn’t here, or that the injured person managed to escape just to bleed to death somewhere else.

They turn back to the bloodspots, on the other side of the roof are two blades, heavily dulled and the exact orientation to suggest they were dropped during movement. A little further down Hanji finds an empty flair gun, still coated with red dust. They stand back, and consider the entire situation, the bloodspots are a few days old, and further examination of the broken tiles shows they had been used as anchor points. A fight then, a long one where the defender was injured. The flair was probably a call for help, so there must be more than one person here. It was looking more and more likely that they were on their way to finding their missing titan.

Hanji makes their way back to the boat, the water is almost gone by now, and it appears someone (read Levi) killed the three-meter that had been following them, pity.

They update Levi on what they found at the scene, and he frowns, “Should we alert Erwin?”

“It might spook them, that amount of blood isn’t healing overnight. And I have no idea who it was.”

“Does Jeager even bleed properly?”

Hanji knows their eyes are shining, “That is such a good question, it might evaporate, maybe he can grow back limbs… oh Levi!”

Levi sighs, rolls his eyes but allows them to ramble on, clearly not listening.

“Petra!” He barks, completely ignoring them, “Set anchor and prepare to leave, gather Lenz and and two more recruits, as well as whoever else you see fit, five at the most, and make sure they’re good. Shitty Glasses, stop talking and focus, you’re in charge while we’re gone. Don’t alert the commander unless you hear from us or it's an emergency, we’ll try to do this quietly, and don’t you dare die.”

They grin and salute, “Same goes for you Ravioli, bring me back my babies.”

“Dead or alive.”

“No time for jokes, only alive.”

His face does not make it seem like he’s joking, hopefully, he is, Hanjis smile is wild, time for the fun to begin.

Chapter Text

Historia is very suspicious of every single thing that had happened over the past few days. After her conversation with Ymir, it's hard not to notice that their commanders are hiding something, which she supposes is normal for the military but they are hiding something about Eren. Eren is her friend, and if she can help him, she will.

So she stays quiet, listens to snippets of conversations when she can, and tries to figure out what’s going on. Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, they are very good and keeping secrets. Levi and Erwin are extremely tightlipped, and honestly very scary, Hanji is far more talkative, but so easily distracted it’s hard to steer conversations in particular directions, luckily the topic she’s trying to steer to is titans, and Hanji is very excited to talk about titans.

But they don’t find out as much as she wants and Historia enters her first official mission feeling woefully unprepared. She isn’t entirely sure why she was chosen to guard the barge, Ymir is a part of the distraction team, but she knows that Sasha is on one of the other boats, Jean as well. Maybe they chose people from the top ten? There are shockingly few of them left. She doesn’t know, but she stays by the two captains while bailing, trying to listen in. She can’t eavesdrop for long, they are both sharp and sticking to the drier side of the boat, but she gets the gist, they think her friends are alive.

Petra gathers her, Sasha and Jean, along with one other member of squad Levi. She doesn’t understand why, but she remembers Jean got along quite well with Armin, maybe they are supposed to be a friendly face.

They follow Captain Levi to a roof, dried blood splattered over cracked tiles, ever after everything it still makes her feel sick.
“Lenz, you're with me, Petra, you take Blouse, Gunther, you’re with Kirstine, search tall buildings for any signs of life.”

They split up, and Historia finds herself following Levi to a tall windmill near the bank. They land next to the broken window and he pears in before stepping through, careful to avoid the glass. She follows, looking around carefully. The glass has been swept away, and there is a pile of blankets in the corner, clearly, it has been recently lived in. She is about to ask what she should do when there is movement in the corner of her eye, she turns to shout a warning, but it is too late, and Mikasa Ackerman stands with a blade to her captain's throat.

The first thing she feels is relief, joy. She was right, they are alive. And then the confusion hits, Mikasas eyes are cold, and she can see a thin line of blood welling up beneath the sword.

“I wouldn’t advise this course of action Ackerman,”

Mikasa tightens her grip, “What do you want.”

“To talk.”

“Eren could kill you in an instant.”

There is a flash of something in her captain's eyes, satisfaction maybe? “Interesting then, that he hasn’t.”

The thin line of blood is staining his cravat pink, spreading quickly over the white fabric.

“You’re alive.” The words are out before she can regret it, and regret it she does, as two sets of eyes immediately go to her. “Mikasa, what-”

She is cut off by a head poking through a hole in the floor to her right, it's Armin, balancing on a ladder. “Those boats are getting closer Kasa, I think we can…”

He trails off, taking in the scene before him. “Oh.”

“Arlert, if you could tell your sister to let me go we might actually get things done.”

Armin's eyes flick between her and Captian Levi, and then he takes his hands off the ladder, signing something rapidly, going so fast that all she can catch is the sign for ‘Eren’ as well as ‘safe’, she also recognises her own name, which is worrying.

“I don’t know,” Mikasa says in response,

“Desertion is punishable by death,” Historia says, which is a little reckless, considering the situation, but her friend has a sharp blade to her captain's neck so she isn’t exactly thinking clearly. “Getting lost, however, or getting trapped by titans, that’s understandable, sympathetic even. Isn’t it captain?”

His eyes meet hers, she has no idea if she said the right thing, “It could be… negotiated.” He concedes, “We’ve found a lot of survivors over the past few weeks, three more is not unexpected. And what exactly is your game plan here Ackerman, especially on that leg, if I don’t have enough time to get a good hit in what will you do after you kill me, kill her?”

He nods at Historia, causing more blood to well up from the thin cut on his neck, and all at once it clicks, why she and her friends were bought along, why they were paired off, she isn’t here as a soldier, but a hostage.

Her commanding officers banked on the fact Mikasa wouldn’t kill her, and the worst part is Historia doesn’t know how safe a bet that was.

Armin makes a single sign, one Historia does not recognise, and Mikasa nods and steps back. “Apologies for my behaviour Captain, the last man to sneak up on us was far less willing to talk, or able, in the end.”

It’s not much of an apology and far more of a threat, but the Captian doesn’t seem to care, wiping a finger along his bloodstained cravat in apparent disgust. “If you think trying to kill me makes you special, you are wrong. Lenz, help me with Eren.”

She was hoping they would continue to not acknowledge her, but the mention of Eren is too interesting to dwell on anything else. At first, she is confused, but then she notices the pile of blankets on the floor, a mop of brown hair barely visible.

Transporting a person while using ODM gear is difficult, the other two teams are signalled, and Captain Levi explains a version of events. The three got trapped out here, they couldn’t leave because Eren and Mikasa are injured. She isn’t sure who believes him, but that isn’t really her problem. Eren is asleep, his eyes closed and breathing even, he hasn’t woken up in days, Armin explains.

It’s terrifying, this entire day is terrifying, Historia wants a hug.

Captain Hanji is waiting for them when they get back, practically vibrating with excitement. They hurry Mikasa, Armin and a sleeping Eren below deck, and Captain Levi follows, leaving Historia alone.

Whispers break out immediately, and Historia is immediately mobbed with people asking what happened, Sasha and Jean look dazed, but Jean gets through the explanation they were given, allowing Historia to sit and think.

She doesn’t get much time, Bertholt almost immediately sits beside her, but stays quiet for a while, staring at the slow-moving water with her. “Are they really alive? All three of them?”

His voice is soft, quiet. “Mikasa is injured, and Eren is in a coma or something. But yes. It’s amazing really.”

“Amazing,” Bertholt repeats, but doesn’t say anything more. Historia leans into his side, because she really needs that hug, and together they sit.

They continue to drift down the river, squad Levi filling in for the captains as they haven’t reemerged yet. Eventually, they send everyone back to their own boats, and she gets put to work. The rhythm is comforting, easy and she loses track of time, the gentle rocking of her boat making her almost forget the danger they are in. That is, until Sasha tugs at her sleeve. “Krista, look.”

She is pointing to the sky, and when Historia looks up it’s impossible to miss, two flairs, one black, one green, emerging from the middle boat. “Weird.” She says, because it is. “That’s not a signal combination is it?”

“No.” It's Petra who answers, frowning at the sky, “It’s not.”

Chapter Text

Things go wrong slowly, which may be worse than things going wrong all at once. First, there is the actual confrontation, which Levi admits could have gone worse, he could be dead, and not just had his favourite cravat stained. Then there is the conversation below deck. A hurried mess of questions and non-answers and treated wounds. He is friendly with far too many people who wish him bodily harm, but that’s not the bad part. The bad part is the fucking Feelings.

They sit ⅔ of the danger trio down, originally he had wanted to do this with Erwin here, but it can’t wait. Because of course it can’t, his life would be so much easier if he could just leave Erwin to deal with things.

“We know Eren is a titan.”

Hanji sends him a glare, but he's done dancing around, best to have things out in the open, no more of this subterfuge shit.

“We figured.” Said Arlert, looking a little nervous, “Does anyone else know?”

“Only Erwin, he is under the impression that keeping this information from the crown is beneficial.”

“Beneficial to whom?”

Levi shrugs, “Him, humanity, everyone.”

“And to us?”

“That is up to you.”

“Are you threatening us, sir?” He kind of is, but why do children need to be so dramatic?

“No, I am explaining your situation to you, we are willing to help you. We want to help you. But this is a risk, for all of us, and you need to be willing to help us in return.”

“We need to talk to Eren first, it’s not fair to make any decision without him.” The excuse is just that, an excuse, Arlert wants time to react to the change in status quo, Levi doesn’t blame him, and instead turns to Hanji, “That’s your territory, wake the titan up so we can get moving.”

Their glasses glint, “Oh! I have so many questions. How does he transform, has he slept this long before?”

“Um.” The two glance at each other. “Eren doesn’t really sleep,” Arlert explains, “He just goes kind of dormant when there isn’t any sunlight. But last time he shifted he slept for a few days too, not this long though.”

This sparks more questions, and Levi tunes them out, turning his attention to the door, where he can hear footsteps slowly making their way closer, from their gait he can tell it's Petra. He meets her outside, she doesn’t look surprised about it.

“How's it going?”

“As well as can be expected with three injured and scared teenagers and a Hanji. What do you want?”
It’s rude, but Petra knows him well enough to not get offended and just go straight to the point, “Someone set off two flairs in the centre ship, black and green. We don’t know who, someone could have just been messing around, but it probably got the attention of the distraction team.”

“So Erwin will be coming. Thank you, Petra, keep me updated.”

She nods, accepts the dismal, and leaves, Levi sighs and reenters the cabin.

“Do we have a plan?”

Hanji is practically glowing, the other two look a little scared. Good, he’s not the only one who’s fucking terrified of Hanji.

“We’re going to feed him.”

“Neat, there are a few recruits whose cleaning is below standard, I can finally make good on those threats.”

“Captain,” Arlert says carefully, “did you just make a joke?”

“No.”

“Have you not been listening to my lectures Levi? Titans photosynthesize.”

“Your voice is just a constant buzzing at this point.”

“Mean. Anyway, the first theory is that he spent a lot of energy shifting and is now waiting for more energy but it’s been cloudy and sad and he’s been inside for ages. So we take him outside and see what happens. If good good sunlight doesn’t work then we can make him some people smoothies or something.”

“I’m not carrying him.” Levi says, “And Ackerman needs her leg looked at properly, she’s going to get an infection at this point.”

“You go play doctor, I can carry him!”

“Freak.” He says under his breath, loud enough he knows they can hear. “Sit down Ackerman, I’m not treating you up there, it’s a cesspit.”

She hesitates, but after a look from her brother she sits down, the trouser leg up to her thigh has been cut off and he sighs. “Pants off, Arlert can stay or leave, up to you.”

Levi isn’t a monster, and this is the most uncomfortable he has ever seen Ackerman look, nice to know she feels embarrassment like the rest of them. “Look after Eren,” She says softly, her brother gives her a look, and leaves, they are alone.

She removes the ruined pants, and Levi hands her a clean cloth, “You can clean the wound yourself, I’ll make sure it’s sanitised and stitch it up, how long ago did this happen?”

“A few days, I haven’t been walking on it, there is a grain silo close by that’s only slightly rotten.”

Levi can not help but grimace at that and he swears he can see her smirk, maybe she does have a sense of humour.

She continues to work in silence, and Levi busies himself preparing to clean the wound properly, “You don’t need to be quite so suspicious.” He says, “Hanji has a sincere interest in your well-being, and I have a sincere interest in Hanji's well-being. You’re a smart girl, if you want to burn bridges with us, that’s fine, but burn them because it’s the best thing to do, not because you’re angry.”

She doesn’t say anything, so Levi sanitises the long gash in her leg. The wound is deep and gagged, it’s a miracle she is still walking on it.

“I don’t trust you.” She says, as he inserts the needle into her skin, she doesn’t flinch, even as he begins to draw the skin together.

“That’s okay. You would be foolish if you did.” He sits back, examining the stitches, they are small and neat, good. “the military trousers are too tight, I’ll ask one of the girls to lend you something.”

He doesn’t need to, a knock on the door reveals Lenz, holding a bundle and looking nervous. “Sorry Captain, um, I brought some clothes for Mikasa, her trousers looked ripped. ”

He nods, she did well in the first aid section from what he can remember, “You can finish up here. Make sure she doesn't put weight on the leg, and that she rests.”

“Yes sir.”

On the deck, Hanji has used sheets to section off a corner, presumably in case some weird titan stuff happens. Jaeger is in direct sun and appears to be steaming. Huh.

Arlert is holding his hand, and it would be almost sweet if Hanji was not on the other side, holding his other hand.

“Is it working?” The grin Hanji sends him is terrifying, “Levi, he steams.”

“I can see that.” he turns to Arlert, “Your sister will be fine, she just needs rest and proper food.”

“Thank you, captain.”

He grunts, “I’ll make sure the other two ships are running smoothly. Let me know if he wakes up.”

The next hour is a lot of talking and organizing. He finds the telltale markings of flairs being let off, but not the empty flairs themselves, and kills two more titans that had begun to follow them, Hanji is going to have to deal with having only the titan on board to poke. It’s suspicious, how easy things are going.

“Eren’s awake.”

Thank the walls, something to do. It's Petra who notifies him, and she gives him a look as he prepares to head to the other boat and check on him. “Are you going to tell us what’s happening Captain?”

He would be disappointed if his team hadn’t noticed something was up.
“Not yet, I will once we get the game plan from Erwin, there are a lot of pieces moving, and we don’t want to spook those pieces.”

She nods, “Understood sir, I’ll tell the others to stop asking questions.”

Eren is sitting up, slowly talking in sign to Armin, Levi understands a few of them, enough to know Eren feels okay, just tired, he repeats a name sign a few times, but Levi doesn’t recognise who. Ackerman is attempting to keep Hanji away from him, but their questions and loud and numerous and Hanji always had trouble with boundaries.

“So the creature is awake.”

Ackerman glares at him, but it works, causing Hanji to give Jeager space, they grin at him. “The sun idea worked Levi! Oh and he can’t talk, the not talking is titan related! Isn’t that exciting?”

“And inconvenient. Erwin should arrive soon, hopefully by then we can have a proper conversation.”

“But we-” He shoots Hanji a look, they don’t need them to know they have learned a small amount of sign from Arlerts notes. Having them think they have a secret way of communication would be incredibly useful.

“Are those horses?” It’s both a change of subject and a legitimate question, as he can hear a steady thump echoing through the ground, causing ripples on the surface of the canal. Hanji frowns, “Too rhythmic, it sounds more like…”

“Titan!”

The shout is from somewhere ahead, but it doesn’t really matter, Levi can see her. He has never felt the need to gender titans, under the assumption that they generally don’t care. But he has never seen one with muscles contouring the shape of breasts, or this much exposed muscle at all. It’s about 14 meters, running straight towards him with a speed that shouldn’t be possible for a creature so large.

“Shit.”

There is really no better word, the titan reaches the edge of the water, and jumps, one leg swinging with a strength and speed that slightly terrifies him. It hits the front boat, causing it to splinter and buckle, hitting the side of the channel with an ominous crunch. She lands on the other side of the river and turns back to them, her blonde hair swinging from the motion.

One of the traits that are very valuable for soldiers is the ability to act quickly in high-stress situations. Levi is a very good soldier, and very good at acting quickly in high-stress situations. He takes a fraction of a second to breathe, to centre himself, and then goes on the attack. It should be easy, the titan is still regaining her balance from the jump, and so he anchors to her shoulder and swings behind her, quick, efficient.

And his blades shatter.

Huh. He sees for a split second some sort of crystalline structure on her nape before he is back on the boat, he hadn’t been prepared for that sort of impact and stumbles slightly on the landing. Other soldiers who followed his lead are unceremoniously batted from the sky, or miss the landing entirely after making a hit.

He makes his way to Hanji, who is looking on in wonder. “My blades fucking broke, and look, her hand is on her nape now. What the fuck.”

“She’s another shifter… Eren isn’t the only one.”

“And she just fucking killed our men. Focus Hanji.”

They blink, “Right. Plan. She’s avoiding the water, don’t know if she’s scared or if it's too deep and her having to swim would give us an advantage. ”

“Ideas? We can’t cut the nape, could we tire her out and escape?”

“Trip her into the canal with wire?”

“Blondie.” He barks, Arlert looks up, “What’s the deal with the water thing?”

He frowns, “Water thing? Oh, we don’t know, Eren isn’t fully conscious as a titan, but he doesn’t like it.”

“Great, is there anything useful you can give us?”

“Every piece of titan-related information is useful!”

“Not the time Shitty Glasses, if she is after Jeager our goal is to protect him.”

They do not have time to plan anymore, as the titan rips up an apple tree growing on the bank and throws it directly at him. He grabs Jeager by the armpits and makes his way to higher ground, the boat is sinking rapidly “Can you understand me right now?”

He nods, “good, we need to get you out of here, are you able to transform?”

Jaeger nods again, but Levi does not believe him, “None of you are in a state to fight. Find your siblings and Petra, she’s the redhead with a bobcut, find somewhere to hide and do not get involved. We’ll deal with this.”

It’s a risk sending Petra with them, but without Erwin, he needs Hanji on the attack and she’s the only one he trusts to keep them safe, if she finds out then so be it. She should have flairs on her and is competent enough to deal with any other titans they meet.

None of the trio are wearing ODM gear but they were all given cloaks when they arrived, which will hopefully cover their identity slightly. Jaeger scrambles away, and Levi prepares to be a distraction.

The wire strategy already existed, it's a good way to get a titan's nape to the ground without unnecessary risk. This means he doesn’t have to explain the idea to anyone, but also means that if the titan has any military training she would recognise it.

Hanji gets her attention, shouting questions that are worrying close to flirting for Levis comfort. But Levi knows Hanji and he can tell they are having to concentrate far more than usual going silent for periods of time to focus on dodging before speaking again. He anchors on the strongest-looking apple tree, and then weaves around the titans legs, keeping the wire as loose as he can in hopes she doesn’t notice. He doesn’t have enough time to keep track of what the others are doing, just pulls the wire tight with a yell.

Hanji moves across the river and the titan reaches towards them stretching out over the still-rippling waters. It stumbles and tilts forward, leg kicking with a surprising amount of strength and sending Levi flying. He barely has enough time to pull back his wires and anchor to a tree, shit, he is going to feel that once the adrenaline has left his system.

Now that she is no longer tangled, the titan regains her balance, but it doesn’t matter. She stands up and surveys the bodies, the wounded, the people slowly drowning in the river, and does not find what she is looking for. She turns and runs upstream, leaving Levi confused and in pain. It takes them time to collect the bodies, dead and alive. He has to section off people to keep watch and with their only remaining barge drifting further and further downstream, they have to manually move them. It is at this point they start seeing red and black flairs in the distance, Erwin is close then, and not fairing well.

They don’t have the men to send help and even if they did it would be a bad idea to go in blind. They move the horses off the barge to flank the remaining boat, getting rid of excess weight, meaning that in an hour the barge is filled with the dead and injured.

Hanji forces him to sit, unbuttoning his shirt to take a look at his injuries, it says a lot about their relationship that Levi doesn’t even complain, doesn’t even check that Hanji had washed their hands.
“Are they back yet?” He asks as they inspects his back and ribs.

“No flair yet, but that’s a good thing. I think you broke a rib, or at least bruised it. I’ll get some ice but you’re just going to have to tough it out.”

“What are we going to do? The wire trick probably won’t work twice, and if we can’t even break the skin…”

“Tell me about the crystalline structure you saw.”

He does, it had been less than a second but he can show Hanji the broken blades, and they seem appreciative he had thought to save them insead of just discarding them.

“Was it just the nape?”

“No idea, I think so, she was covered with muscle.”

They hum, and then sigh. “She’s behind us, and it will be slower to get back. Do we have enough horses to abandon the barge?”

“Not until Erwin arrives, we couldn’t fit a huge amount on the barges so he has all the spares.”

“We have a few hours until nightfall, if we wait until then she could go dormant like the others. Sneak past while she’s asleep?”

“Too dangerous, maybe if we could talk to Jeager and confirm. That is assuming they haven’t slit Petra's throat by now”

“You think they….?”

Levi sighs, “No, but they’re kids, and they’re scared and capable. And that makes them dangerous. Petra is good at keeping the new recruits calm but…”

“But scared and capable kids aren’t known for their good decisions.” Hanji finishes.

“Yeah.”

There are few options, and fewer good options, but it’s clear that retreat is the best one. They have lost most of the building supplies, and there are too many dead or injured to continue. But they are still in titan territory and have been incredibly lucky things haven’t gotten worse.

Do they risk trying to contact Erwin? The female titan almost definitely knows military codes, and they don’t want to alert her of their movements. Eventually, they do light up the retreat flair, and steer the single remaining boat back towards safety. Arlert finds them a few hours in, and Levi considers keeping him onboard as insurance. Instead, he gives him some horses, and orders the other riders to split into threes or fours. “Keep your hoods up, at least this way she won’t be able to find him”

Alert nods, “Thank you, captain. And sorry… for everything.”

“I told you sister the three of you are smart, I wasn’t lying. But be careful, you aren’t the only smart ones around here.”

“I’m always careful.”

“I’m sure you are.”

Levi watches him leave, horses in tow, and wonders if he had just made a huge mistake.

Chapter Text

“What if she didn’t leave?”

Hanji is peering over his shoulder, watching him scrub at the blood on the deck.

“Explain.”

“If she is like Eren, then presumably she has a human form. There’s no way we would be able to keep track of all our men, one could have easily slipped away.”

“We saw her run off.”

“So? We have been travelling for a while now, there are plenty of people unaccounted for, she could even make her way to Erwin.”

He scrubs at a partially annoying spot of blood. “There is no point worrying about that now. We knew we were compromised as soon as those flairs went off. I’ve done a role call, we know who we are missing, and if they show up later we investigate. Right now our goal is to get back alive.”

When she finds them again, it’s with backup. They see that now familiar strike of lightning while floating through dead and rotting fields. Nothing to anchor onto, which is bad, as they are facing a hoard of titans.

Levi counts two abnormals, one easily twenty meters and five more under ten. They are dispersing from the female, hungrily looking towards them.
He does not need to give the order this time, everyone here knows that if they want to go home, then this is a fight they will have to win.

Sadly, he does not think it is a fight they can win.

They still don’t know how to kill the female titan, apart from the incredible strategy ‘hit it until it breaks’ or more likely, he breaks. The abnormals should go first, he thinks, at least he knows he can take them down. Hanji appears to be thinking the same thing, each movement as reckless and delighted as their personality.

Injury in his back is slowing him down, each movement an effort against his own instincts, the lack of anchor support makes things even more difficult, and Levi is forced to use the barge and other titans to move. He has been in many situations where it is extremely clear they are going to be picked off one by one while they run with their tails in between their legs. This one is the direst. They slowly take down the smaller titans, but each time they go for the abnormals he can’t get enough height. If he was at this peak he might be able to zigzag between the two and gain height, but as he is there is too much risk, and these titans seem to be a little grabby.

He should not be relieved at the second bolt of lightning, because that shows them all exactly where Jeager is. And no matter what her intentions, that’s very bad.
But he is, he is relieved, because Jeager is pure power and fury and here, at last, is something that can help them.

He hadn’t been there last time Jeager had emerged, Eren arches up, hidden by billowing steam. He can still see muscles and skin form out of thin air, Jaeger’s spine arches and for a split second his head is nothing but a skull with a large, grinning set of teeth. And then skin forms around him, and he is just there. Looming.

The female titan's head snaps to him so fast that Levi almost hopes she breaks her neck. But she doesn’t and instead, she moves with a speed and intensity he can’t quite fathom. She and Jeager clash, in an open field they can’t reach and all Levi can do is watch. Erens movements had always been slightly off, stepping a little too far forward or a little too lightly. Here he is fluid, graceful, but so is she. He goes for a punch and half her face is caved in by the force, it doesn’t stop her from sweeping his leg out from under him, sending Jeager crashing to the ground.

There is a flash of green as figures, Levis's team, latch onto her shoulder and go on the attack. It’s almost too fast to perceive, almost, but Levi is terribly good at his job. Some of the anchors don’t stick, sending them down to be picked off by leftover titans, one does, Petra. He doesn’t have the time to find out what happens, too busy saving as many of his men as he can.

For a while the battle becomes another blur, titan after titan after titan, keeping an eye on Jeager is difficult, but the billowing amount of steam that surrounds them means wounds have probably been inflicted.
Time to help, or at least gather information. He swings up to her nape, struggling to keep his balance. The crystalline substance is still there, but it seems thinner, long gashes that he would bet match Jaeger's fingernails dot her neck. He attempts to cut into her nape, but it’s clear his blades won’t cut it (haha pun). Okay, he will make her life incredibly inconvenient then. Her hand reaches behind her, batting at him like he is not humanity's strongest. He dodges, landing on her head and almost abseiling down her face to plunge his blades into her eyes. It’s incredibly risky, but he needs to give Jeager as much of an advantage as he can. She roars and grabs at him, long fingers closing around his torso.

No matter how many times it happens, no matter how good you are, it is always terrifying to be trapped. Her fingers are slippery with blood, and he can feel her move her hand back to throw him. He twists, gaining enough momentum to slice his way out just as she opens her fist and throws him.

It’s almost an impossible situation to survive, a rush of steam blinds him, but that, and the give under his blades, conforms he at least hit something. And then he is flying, there are no structures above him to slow his descent and so he turns, latches onto the female titan's arm and tries to use the counterforce to land safely, it only slightly works. He does land at a velocity that doesn’t kill him, but it hurts. He has more than a broken rib now, but the pain is too far-spread to pinpoint what's broken.
He pushes himself up on his elbows, decides to stand is currently out of the question, and sees the female titan flip Jeager over onto his front, his hands are guarding his nape and she pulls at them, her fingers only slightly partly reformed but still allows her the dexterity to rip his hands from the wrist, he’s too far away to help, they are all too far away to help.

He had forgotten about Mikasa. She rides passed him on a borrowed horse, completely ignoring the fact he might be dying. The right move, technically, but still a little rude, he laughs slightly, he’s about to die and mad that a cadet is ignoring him.

She’s lucky they are close to the ground, as she is still in the borrowed skirt, wireless with a single set of blades strapped to her side. She rises up from her horse and strikes at the titan's jaw, blades slicing cleanly at one side and tumbles onto Jaegers back, a very dangerous position. Levi is momentarily distracted by a sincere attempt to not be eaten while unable to stand, a move that mostly involves slicing at the titan's fingers and ankles until it’s on its knees and he can crawl/stumble to the nape. It’s a very embarrassing kill and he hopes nobody noticed.

By the time he has the opportunity to check on Jeager, Petra has arrived and decimated the other half of the female titan's jaw. The two of them have made their way out of the flailing limbs and are quietly discussing something. The female titan is scrambling at Jeagers nape with her still steaming fingers, the bottom half of her jaw almost detached, hanging on by a thin line of muscle. The sun catches on her pointer finger and Levi realises she must be able to harden them as well.

She digs into his nape and pulls out a figure, so much smaller than the body it inhabits, thick strips of muscle are attached to his face and as the female titan retrieves him, they detach, the body of Jeager beginning to disintegrate underneath her. Petra tries what he did, landing on the neck and stopping when she sees the hardened skin. The female titan stands, avoiding Ackerman's desperate lunge towards her brother and dislodging Petra from her back. Petra attempts to reattach but her anchors glance off the hardened skin.

He knows the exact moment she is dead, sees the dilemma flicker, for just a second, in Ackerman's eyes.

‘Erwin was right’ he thinks, it is a terrible thing to think.

“She will protect her own” His commander had said, what felt like years ago. It was only a few months “If we can count on anything, we can count on that. She’s an Ackerman after all.”

And Levi's squad, the people he fought side by side with, bleed with, they aren’t hers, Jaeger is. And an Ackerman protects their own.

Mikasa does not stop in her pursuit of Eren, and Petra falls.

Chapter Text

Maybe all trips from disaster situations are this blurry. Mikasa remembers hiding with a young woman Armin called Petra, all gentle smiles and sincere worry. Petra tells them her job is to keep Eren alive and the conviction in her voice makes Mikasa actually believe her. She remembers Erens face, as he takes her blade and slices it into his forearm, running towards danger as lightning strikes again. Then she is cutting off the titans wrist, prying Erens body from boiling fingers and standing, blade in hand, prepared to die. She must have pulled her stitches, as Krista's moss green skirt is darkening with blood. It doesn’t matter, nothing matters but his survival.

Then there is the echoing sound of hooves and more shouts and it's too loud and too fast and all she can focus on is the enemy in front of her, steaming and broken and turning to run.

She doesn’t hear them ask if she’s okay, fights when they try to pry her blunt sword from her hands. It is only when Armin, bloody, but uninjured and alive, asks her to let go that she drops it, allows Eren to be led away, allows them to give her a horse, and assign her a guard and lead her towards the wall.

She doesn’t know if they get attacked on the way back, if so she doesn’t help, it’s all she can do to just follow the cart Eren is in, make sure Armin's horse is always in sight, not fall asleep from pain and exhaustion.

When the fog clears Mikasa is in an office, she is wearing new clothes and her leg is bandaged. Did Armin do it? Someone else? Did she do it herself.?

The commander sits behind the desk, flanked by Captain Levi in a wheelchair and Captain Hanji. She blinks, Armin is next to her, his hand in hers, next to Armin is Eren, awake.

“I would have given us a few more days to recover, but we need the facts and we need them as soon as possible.” The commander places a few very familiar notebooks on the desk.

“My chief research officer tells me you have a rather competent code here, and it will take them a few more weeks to crack it. I would rather not wait that long. So the full story, if you please.”

Armin starts to talk, tells them of how they found Eren, how they survived on the streets and how they joined the military. Erwin listens quietly, and Mikasa is strangely reminded of the time they were caught sneaking into each others bunks. Shadis had been far more angry, but when she had quietly said “If they’re not there, I think they have been eaten.” He got a strange look in his eyes, and the punishments had been much more lenient.

Armin skips over the poaching, and her killing of Reiner, “We want to help,” is how he finishes, “we came back because we want to fight, but we do that on our terms, and we understand that is not exactly how a military is structured.”

Erwin sips at his cup of tea, and Mikasa suddenly realises there is a cup in front of her too, how is she missing these things? “Legally speaking, our reports are due at the end of the week, and they require a full and accurate account of the expedition. However, it would be foolish to not acknowledge the likely actions of the crown, and the fact Eren is clearly the target of an unknown force. As far as I’m concerned, we have a way to potentially revolutionize the way this war is fought, and we have a enemy who has mananged to infiltrate our ranks. Telling the crown the full story would be foolish on all accounts, and I am not a foolish man.”

“So that means…?”

“It means, Arlert, that the three of you miraculously survived Trost, and will join the Scouting Regiment as normal soilures until this new threat can be delt with. Captian Hanji will be managing you, but remember, despite the unusual circumstances, you are part of this military, and you will act like it.”

He stands, “I must now put out a lot of fires, only some figuratively. Hanji?”

“Yes sir?”

“Play nice.”

The door echos behind him, Hanji moves around the desk to peer at Eren, their eyes are magnified by their glasses giving them the appearance of a strange insect. Mikasa tenses.

“What are your pronouns?”

Eren sends Armin a confused look, Armin looks a little awkward “You know how we had that whole talk about how humans tend to put themselves into binary boxes? And how some people like the Captian or those nice ladies who would sometimes give us clothes don’t fit into those boxes? And you said the entire idea was as silly as us having the breathing tube and the drinking tube next to each other? Well, that’s what the Captian is asking, what box are you in?”

Eren seems to understand, and shrugs, Armin translates, because he talks when he’s nervous. “As far as we can tell titans don’t have the same concept of gender as us. We talked about it a while ago, but his human form is male, and presenting him as anything else would draw attention, Eren doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know if it applies to the others though, or just him.”

“And do you have any idea who the others are?”

“We know at least one is a part of the 104, but Eren could never pinpoint them. We were trying to figure it out, but well, there were a lot of people and I’m assuming most of them have gone to the other two branches.”

And that- that’s a lie. Armin is lying right now. It is a subtle thing, but she knows them well enough to see when her brothers are lying.

Luckily, Captain Hanji is interrupted before they can ask any more questions.

“As fascinating as this all is, I need to argue with some surgeons about the conditions of their operating room, and Hanji isn’t allowed ten feet near a titan without adult supervision. I’m sure the three of you can find out where the mess hall is on your own. And that you’re smart enough to keep your mouths fucking shut.”

He takes a moment to struggle with the door, and as they go down the hall Mikasa can hear quiet bickering. They haven’t been alone since the mill, and she relishes the quiet. A huge amount of things have changed, but they survived, they are here. She knows they made it this far by trusting no one, but a small, traitorous part of her brain wonders if they survived that, not because of it.

“Come on,” Armin says, “I’m hungry.”

Their friends swarm them as soon as they enter, there are tears and hugs and despite how overwhelming it all is Mikasa allows herself to feel loved, to feel missed.

They are given hot broth and fresh, crunchy bread. It is a meal they have had a thousand times but it tastes wonderful on her tongue. Armin tells an edited version of the story and Mikasa is content to listen, to watch. Many faces are missing, and the ones she recognises seem older somehow, sadder.

“I won’t be able to give you back your skirt Krista,” She says softly, “I think the captain burned it.”

Krista is still crying, but they are happy tears, she doesn’t see those that often. “I don’t give a damn about the skirt, we thought you were dead, you butthead.”

“Wow, Krista’s bringing out the swears, be careful Scarfy, she might frown at you next.”

“I see you also survived, Ymir.”

Ymir shoots her a grin, “Can’t leave my baby a widow, even if she would pull off the whole mourning look.”

“It’s been five minutes, will you two at least wait to fight until training?”

“Annie’s not here to fight her anymore, someone has to step up.”

“As if you could beat Mikasa.”

“Where is Annie?” Armin seems strangely intense about the question, “Did she…”

“Oh no, fucked off to the centre as soon as she could, only top ten who did I think.”

Mikasa goes through the list, that means Marco is dead, and she did actually kill Reiner. It could be worse, it could be a lot worse.

The familiarity is nice, she eats her bread and listens to people recount the last few months. The topics are kept light, Levi is a slave driver, the bunks are worse than in training but at least there are more of them. Sasha has already been caught stealing food.

Nobody argues when they take one of the smaller rooms for the three of them. And she gets ready for bed in silence, Eren is already asleep, and Armin is clearly thinking hard, she waits for him to speak. He doesn’t.

“You lied, back there, when they asked if we knew who it was.”

“Did that female titan remind you of anyone? In the way she moved I mean?”

Mikasa considers the question, the day is still a blur, but something does feel familiar.

“My fight with Annie.”

“And that move she used on Eren… but, I mean, it’s not like her style is unique.”

“It is though, nobody recognised her technique, not even Shadis. Why didn’t you…?”

“I wanted to talk about it first, she’s our friend, if we’re wrong…”

“Is she? Our friend?”

“She’s my friend, she’s a person we spent years beside. I want to be sure.”
So Mikasa keeps her mouth shut, she heals, takes time to breathe and feel safe and it is terrible.

There is nothing wrong, she understands that being safe and fed and dry is better than being out in the cold dying. But she can’t make herself relax, she wanders, learns who died and who lived and it all feels hollow.

To make things worse, Eren isn’t talking to her, when she speaks to him he will ignore her, when she signs he turns away. He busies himself with experiments with Hanji and training and pretends she doesn’t exist.

“Why won’t he talk to me?” She is cleaning with Armin, cleaning is a task that seems to never be finished, it's repetitive and calming and pleases the Captian, so she tends to do it a lot.

“I- I don’t know, I think he’s scared.”

“Of me?”

“For you. He said he was aware, for a lot of it and out there… I don’t think he really understood what you were willing to do for us. Now he does.”

“I’ve never hidden who I am, he should know.”

“It’s not that simple, he can understand that you love us, and you will go to extreme measures to keep us safe. He can even appreciate it, but you were ready to kill someone he worshipped for years, you chose him over his new friend without hesitation.”

“We knew Petra for five hours.”

“As if Eren can’t get attached in five minutes. I’m not saying he’s right, I’m saying give him time to process.”

She has been cleaning the same spot of glass this entire time, just smearing soap in small circles.

“And if he decides he doesn’t want me?”

“He won't, he loves you, we love you. You said you wanted to be better right? This is how. You listen, and you give him time.”

She isn’t sure, guilt floods her, but she can’t tell where it is coming from. She is upset Petra is dead, Petra was nice and kind and tried to help. But going over that night, nothing else could have been done. If she caught Petra, Eren would be dead or captured, she is sure of that.

“Mikasa?”

It’s Sasha, clearly unaware of the conversation they just had “Krista wants you to meet us at like ten tonight, we’re having a girl's night.”

“A girl's night?”

“Apparently it's a central thing? We hang out but only if you’re a girl, Krista said it should be fun.”

“Oh, um-”

“Come on, Kasa, if you don’t go, the only other person will be Ymir because, well, all the other girls aren’t here anymore. You wouldn’t leave me alone with those two right?”

“Okay.”

Sahsa sends her a blinding grin, “cool, meet us at our room, see if you can steal any food.”

She leaves and Mikasa allows a slight smile, finally something to do.

The Great Food Heist Of 852 is planned and executed entirely by Mikasa. It is not a distraction, she is participating in social activities, she's a teenager, they are meant to do that. It’s not a distraction. The meat is stored in a cooler with a heavy padlock on it, Mikasa has picked harder locks in her sleep.

Captain Levi is still in a chair, which means both he and Captain Hanji probably won’t be by, she sneaks past the kitchen staff with ease, slipping into the meat cooler and scanning the walls.

What to steal? Something precooked, something that won’t be missed. She takes half a roll of salami, not the fanciest meat, but still meat, hunting around the room she finds a row of smoked fish and takes one, hopefully, no one counted them.

The room Sasha told her to go to is near the back of the building and so she slips through the halls and knocks on the door at sundown. “I’m here for the girl's night?”

“Mikasa!”

Krista's grin is bright and genuine, and Mikasa smiles a little in return, “Sasha told me to bring food.”

“Is that smoked fish?”

“And I see she is already here.”

Krista opens the door slightly wider, “come in, we just broke open the wine.”

Krista pours her a glass of something red and dark, and then they play the fun and familiar game of ‘hold Sasha back while the meat is prepared.’ The play fight does trigger something worming and anxious in the back of her head, feeling Sasha struggle to free herself from Mikasa's grip, but she ignores it, she won’t ruin this. She won’t.

“You are worryingly good at stealing stuff.” Ymir comments over her glass, “Is this from the storehouse?”

“The lock is very easy to pick.”

“I always said it was a good idea to be your friend.”

Mikasa takes a sip of her drink to avoid responding, she wasn’t aware that she and Ymir were friends. She has had alcohol before, it was sometimes served at dinner during training and little flasks of something were handed out to them during winter sometimes. Not to mention the vials in med kits used to sterilize wounds.

This is clearly higher quality, far richer and sweeter than what she had had before. Krista notices her surprise and smiles, “You aren’t the only one with light fingers.”

“She’s talking about me.” Ymir says, “Krista hasn’t stolen anything in her life. Except for my heart.”

Sasha pulls a loaf of bread out of somewhere and begins slicing it, “You’ve had better Ymir, up your flirting game.”

“Thanks, Potato Girl, you are exactly the type of person to take romantic advice from.”

The night continues and Mikasa feels pleasantly warm, they didn’t really do this before, and the wine is making her relaxed. Usually, she would panic at the loss of control but she chose this, and she takes a moment to appreciate the way her brain appears to be a few seconds behind her movements, swaying back and forwards slightly.

“When this is over I’m gonna open up a restaurant, or go back to hunting. Then I can eat all the fish I want.”

Sasha is on her back, lowering a stip of fish into her mouth, “Before the fall there were these bucks, you go for them so the mums and fawns can keep the cycle going, but they were huge and dad had this grilling technique that made it like… really good.”

“Really good huh? That’s very chef-like of you.” Krista hums, “I think I’ll like to get married.”

“Really?” Mikasa has never heard Ymir sound so vulnerable, but she’s looking at Krista like she just hung the moon and stars, Krista blushes.
“I mean, yeah, I’ve always wanted one of those fancy princess wedding dresses, a fairytale ending you know?”

“With me?”

“Who else silly, I mean we have to win this war first. But after that…”

“Oh.”

Mikasa thinks she just witnessed a proposal. Huh.

“What about you Mikasa?”

“What about me?”

“Once we’re done, what will you do?”

“I… don’t know.”

“Well, what did you do before the army?”

“Try not to starve.”

“And before the fall?”

“Try to keep Armin from getting mugged.”

“And were there any parts of that you actually enjoyed?”

She thinks for a moment, staring into her nearly empty wine glass, when did she drink that much?

“I liked Marmalade.”

“What?”

We had a goat, named Marmalade, and a house. We gave it do some other kids when we left, but I think Armin still has the deed. I liked that house, and the garden, and Marmalade.”

“Well then do that,” Sasha says, “didn’t expect a badass like you to want to be a housewife, but it kind of makes sense. We can go hunting together.”

She giggles, the idea that she would ever be able to go back home, that this would ever be over, is incredibly funny.

“Wow, Mikasa’s wasted.”

Someone plucks her glass from her hand, “That’s enough I think, didn’t take you for a lightweight.”

She slumps into someone's side, they’re warm and remind her of Eren. She misses Erens hugs.

“Why isn’t Eren hugging you?”

Huh, she said that out loud. “He’s mad because I killed Petra.”

“I-what?”

“When we fought An- the titan. She hit Petra, I could have caught her. Didn’t because Eren was hurt. He hates me now.”

“Oh Kasa, he could never hate you. You’re all he talks about, he loves you.”

She isn’t so sure, but her eyes are heavy, the world slow and dizzying. “I do want to save them.” It’s suddenly very important for them to understand this, she isn’t a bad person, she isn’t.

“Can’t save all his humans.” She mumbles into the shoulder of whoever she’s sleeping on. “Just some of them.”

The person makes a choked noise, and then there is an arm on her shoulder, “Come on Kasa, lets get you to bed.”

“Save all of them.” She repeats. “Save all the humans.”

Chapter Text

The fight starts over bread, as many do.
He and Hanji are discussing germ theory, the tea is warm, the conversation tolerable, and Levi is almost having a good time.

And then there is a slamming of hands-on wood, and the peace is broken.

“I was just following orders.”
Mikasa's voice has the same impassiveness as it always does, the same quiet confidence. Eren is glaring at her, the piece of bread knocked to the floor by his hands.
“Don’t use that excuse, you don’t give a shit about orders. You could have saved them and you didn’t. I don’t understand why.”

Frustration is making Erens voice rushed, Hanji rises from their seat, presumably to intervene, and Levi stops them.

“This will happen at some point.”

It’s true, best to blow up now away from danger than in a life-threatening situation, somewhere more of his team could die.

“I wasn’t about to let you get taken by her” Her voice is still so flat, so distant.

“They were humans, my humans, and you let them die.” Right, this was about Petra. Petra falling and falling and not getting back up, something broken in his heart breaks a little more.

“Don’t you get it by now? I don’t care about them, that’s why I was assigned to guard you.” Her voice is rising, each word sharp, cruel, precise.

“If I could have saved them I would, but given the choice between them and you, I will choose you every single time. The Commander knows that, Armin knows that, the only person who doesn’t understand my priorities seems to be you.”

Eren stares at her.

“You told Armin you wanted to be better.”

“Maybe this is better Eren. Maybe having one person in this family who isn’t suicidal is a good thing.”`

“And maybe I don’t want a sister who’s so comfortable killing people.”

Mikasa freezes, her mouth slightly open. Before she can say anything Eren turns and runs, into the cold and night, leaving his sister standing holding a loaf of bread.

The rest of the room is empty apart from him, Mikasa and Hanji. Mikasa still hasn’t moved, and Hanji appears to be trying to have a secret conversation with him. He ignores them. Hanji raises their eyebrow. Levi shakes his head.

Hanji picks up their teacup and leaves. Bastard.

Levi sighs, time to deal with whatever this shit is. “You made the right call, Jaeger is going to have to deal with it.”

She still hasn’t looked away from the door, “you should hate me. I could have saved them if I wanted to.”

He can’t tell her the truth, that there is a part of him that does hate her, a part of him that would sacrifice a hundred Jaegers just to see his team again. It’s not right, Eren has saved countless lives, could be the key to ending this nightmare of an existence. He hates her anyway.

“You were following orders.”

“I would have done it anyway. We all know that.”

She finally looks at him, tears filling her eyes and threatening to spill. “I’m a murderer.”

“That line of thinking is going to get us all killed. You didn’t kill them, that titan did.”

“Not them. Those kidnappers, and Reiner and before-” She cuts herself off, maybe realising she just admitted to murdering her comrade. Levi ignores it, time to give some fucking life advice.

“Sit.”

She sits, Levi pours her another cup of tea and considers her. How old was he when he first killed someone? Older than nine, she looks tired. Levi feels tired.

What to tell her, he knows what Erwin would want, ‘the way to keep him alive is to follow orders.’ But then he thinks of Isabel and Farlen, and he can’t, he can’t sacrifice these kids.

“It doesn’t matter if he hates you.”

Mikasa looks up in surprise, clearly, she was also expecting the Erwin speech.

“You’re a soldier now, you gave your heart to humanity and you are lucky that you're a useful enough asset that we take your desires into account, not every sister gets that privilege. If you want my advice, use that.”

“Why are you telling me this.”

“Despite what the rumours say, I did not arise from a titan's corpse fully formed. Everyone here has lost someone, if you have the power to keep them alive, do so.”

“I promised myself I would do whatever it takes for them to stay good.” Her voice is a whisper, fuck she’s young.

“Nobody gets to stay good, it’s more complicated than that Ackerman.”

She looks up from her now cold cup, steel in her eyes. “They will. You’re right, as long as they’re alive they can hate me as much as they want.”
She gives him a sharp salute, “Thank you, captain.”

He nods, “Clean this shit up, and then get some sleep.”

“Yes sir.”

Levi leaves and is surprised to see Hanji loitering in the hallway, they grin at him. “Softy.”
“Fuck off, we need her predictable.”

Hanji shakes their head, “No no, you don’t want them to die, like some sort of sap. Ohhh, will you sign the adoption papers with me? I’m willing to platonically marry you if you want to be a strange, strange father.”

“I’m not fucking marrying you.”

“Pity, I could use a sugar daddy to buy more of those cool spear things.”

“You are barking up the wrong tree.”

“Because you’re into dudes? If that’s the case I’m willing to give being a guy a go. Or is it because you spend your entire paycheck on cravats and soap?”

They’ve reached his room, Levi feels uncharacteristically tired. “Hanji, did I say the right thing, back there?”

Their face softens, “You told the truth, what she does with that truth is up to her.”

“They’re nineteen, did we look like that at nineteen?”

“I assume you looked like a very clean, very angry street rat.”

“Zoe.”

“Sorry. I just - I miss them.”

He rests his forehead on the wood of the door. “Me too.”

“We’ll kill that titan, she won’t catch us like that again.” There is anger in Hanjis voice, an emotion that hasn’t appeared when talking about titans before.

“And if she’s nineteen too?”

“That’s a problem for tomorrow us. Get some sleep Ravioli, mourn. We have a lot of work to do, those kids will be fine.”

Hanji turns from him. “They have to be.”

Chapter Text

Mikasa sits beside him, her dark eyes staring past him. She had cut her hair while they were on the run and the ends are uneven, her center part messy. Eren resists the urge to fix it. Neither of them are very good at this.

‘I don't want to lose you’ He signs, because words would be too big for this moment, too heavy. She stares at him for a moment, at his hands, hers are calloused from training, his smooth, delicate, healing faster than they can be worn down.

‘I’m not going to die.’ It’s a statement of fact for Mikasa, a certainty of the universe.

‘That's not what I mean.’ she puffs out a breath of air, he’s frustrating her, she thinks he’s being stupid. It hurts, many people have thought him slow over the years, the word always echoing after him, but never her, never the ones who matter.

‘I haven’t changed, Eren.’

She is right, it’s a sinking feeling, a horrible feeling. There are so many stories about how war changes you, breaks you. There are none about what happens when you stay exactly the same. Was she destined to be like this? Could there ever have been a world where she wasn’t ruled by fear and mistrust?

Is this his fault? For leading them down this path?

His name sign is an altered version of the word ‘love’ because that’s how Mikasa would refer to him when there was no one there to see.

Eren. Love.

‘I don’t want it to be like this, just us three against everyone else. Every person I meet I think, ‘is this it? Is this the one that ends us?’ I want to be able to love people, like I love you, like I love Armin.’

Her eyes are fixed on his hands. Love, his name sign is Love.

‘I still love you. I love you so much it hurts, I don’t want it to hurt.’ He isn’t crying, Eren doesn’t know if he can cry. ‘Is this being human? For it to hurt?’

“Yes.” The word is barely a whisper, shattering their fragile silence, “To love is to hurt.”

This isn’t over, this argument, this divide, but Eren surges forwards anyway, takes her in his arms. She smells of sweat and grease and titan, and he buries his nose in her hair, later he will trim it, make it neat and even and out of her eyes, but for now, he will hold her.

That night they pile the mattresses on the floor, and sleep the way they would in Trost, clinging to each other. He ‘wakes’ with the sun, fog clearing from his mind and leaving him alert and awake. Mikasa tugs on his waist when he tries to get up and he smiles.

“I’m just meeting Hanji.” He murmurs, careful not to wake Armin, “Go back to sleep.”

She grunts, but lets go.

Hanji is waiting for him and they start walking as soon as he arrives, heading though the forest, there is something subdued about them today, worried.

“You know,” They begin, “We have been following you for ten years, do you remember?”

“Kind of.”

“During those years I didn’t dare hope. So many people thought you would be the key to this, but things are never that simple are they?”

He doesn’t answer, it doesn’t seem to matter. “Science is a process, breaking the world down into numbers that can’t by influenced by how people want things to be, but people keep fucking it up anyway. And I realised when chasing you, that you can’t remove people from the equation, and you can’t shape the equation to fit them either. But that chaos, it can provide opportunity for progress, for exploration, do you understand?”

They hum, “We’re here.”

It's a graveyard, long, endless fields of uniform grey headstones. the Survey Corps graveyard, even if they aren’t buried here, every member gets their own headstone. They walk past hundreds of graves, words and names blurring together. Hanji stops.

Eren Barker 823-845
Sister, daughter, soldier
‘I will fly on wax wings, and if I fall, I will fall free.’

“Because of you, her parents got their daughter back. And because of her, we got a chance of winning this war.”

They stare at the headstone, “Barker was a good girl, a smart girl and good, smart girls like her are going to die until we find out what is going on. I am not going to die in the dark Eren, and if that requires tearing down everything within these walls than so be it.”

Hanji turns their gaze to him, “We have become comfortable in the easy answers, in the safety of entrapment, what do you want out of this Eren?”

“I want them to be safe.”

“Safe now, or safe later?”

He tilts his head, confused. “There are secrets here, and I’m going to find them, but that’s going to change things, shift them. You can run off again and hide, live your life, never see anyone get hurt again, but the only way to get out of this storm is through. I need to know, and I’m willing for people to hurt now, if knowing will help them later.”

“And if it doesn’t work? If they all die?”

“Then we’ll be too dead to worry about it.”

Hanji turns, leaving Eren to stare at the grave, alone.

Chapter Text

The more she stares at the door the more certain she is that this is a very bad idea. It doesn’t matter, she stares at the door. The door does not stare back.

Historia knocks.

“Come in.”

The commander's office is spotless, he is leaning over a map with Captians Levi and Hanji. The look he gives Historia is slightly shocked.

“Private Lenz, what can I do for you?”

“I-”

She had not planned this out at all, she thought he would be alone.

“Why don’t you have a seat, Lenz?”

She sits, they wait, she waits.

“Reiss.”

“Pardon?”

“My real name is Historia Reiss, I’m the last remaining heir to the crown. I thought you should know, sir.”

“I…see. And why do you think that, Private Reiss?” There is a slight pause in his words that indicates that whatever he expected her to say, it wasn’t this. That gives her a slight trill, at least she can surprise him.

“With everything going on I thought you should know.”

“Everything going on?” How has this already become a test, one that she feels like she’s failing? Time for a gamble.

“What with Eren being a titan, sir.”

This, at least, got a reaction, Hanji is the one, she realised, to watch for reactions, because at least they have reactions to things, beyond just eye roles and small sighs. Their emotiveness, however, is tempered by the fact they are just so weird. It’s hard to tell with Hanji, if their reactiveness is from her saying something interesting, or Hanji just thinking she said something interesting. Or they may not be listening, and reacting to something else known only by Hanjis mind.

Now, they fumble slightly with their pen and Levis's eyes narrow just a little, Erwin does not move. Which means she is at least slightly right.

“How, exactly, did you come to this conclusion?”

“Did you know,” She starts, because sometimes the best way to answer a question is to avoid it, and she can’t give them any more than she has to, “that there was a bet going around during training about what, exactly made those three the way that they are? Jean described a light appearing when Jeager arrived during Trost. I was there when you found them and I saw Mikasa pull Eren from the body. I am not a fool, sir.”

“Clearly, who won?”

“What?”

He’s looking at her like she is a stupid little girl, as if the information she is giving is not important, as if he doesn’t believe her. “Who won the bet?”

“Jean, Sir. He said Eren wasn’t human.”

“Do you think Eren is human?”

She frowns, “I just said he was a titan.”

“The two concepts are not mutually exclusive.” He says gently.

“Then yes, he is human. He is too kind not be.”

“Kindness is not a trait we humans are known for.” It’s the first time Levi has spoken, he’s sitting in his wheelchair as if he could stand up and kick her arse at any moment. She knows he can’t, but still, scary.

“The last remaining heir you say, do you have evidence of this claim?” Right, the first step of her plan, the first step to control.

“Only my word, my mother and father were killed in 845, I was allowed to survive if I changed my name and forfeited my crown. I didn’t sign anything and I know no names, but I might recognise faces.”

“What do you wish to gain from telling us this?”

She hesitates, this question is important, vital actually. Because she is sure they won’t even pretend to believe her if they think she can’t be used. The truth then, at least partly. “I’m tired of lying, and I’m tired of losing.”

“And this will change things?” His eyes are serious, gentle, but it has to be a facade. ‘They will kill you’, she thinks, ‘if you become a liability’.

“I think, as queen, those losses will be caused by my own hand, not the hand of others.”

“That sounds a lot like treason, Private Lenz.” The name change is a warning, she knows. She is nothing right now, but Historia had always known that.

“I gave my heart to humanity, sir, and it is humanity's interests I am attempting to protect. With the state that we are in and the leadership we are under, I fear we will not survive another attack and after what happened in Trost, another attack is definitely coming. I think the people in this room are far more competent than our current heads of government, and I think the public agrees.”

He sits back, and examines her. Kirsta wears her uniform as neat as she can, keeps her hair out and long. Historia, she knows, will wear her hair up, pinned to a heavy crown.

“Levi?” He asks. Levi seems to understand the question, even if Historia doesn’t/

“Krista Lenz, 10th, competent but not exemplary, well-liked, could be potentially groomed for leadership if she grew a fucking backbone.” He smirks, the first smile she has ever seen from him, “Seems like we found that backbone.”

Captian Hanji moves lightning-fast around the desk to examine her, lifting a strand of her hair, and peering into her eyes. “If she is telling the truth there may be some big conspiracy to unearth, and I do love unearthing big conspiracies.” Does everyone in command have the mannerisms of a cat? Historia feels like she is being watched by an ambush predator, and they are about to pounce.

“I am telling the truth.” She says.

“That remains to be seen. You may go, Private Lenz. Thank you for meeting us.”

She salutes, because she is still Private Lenz right now, walks through the door and runs straight into Ymir, her face curled into a snarl.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“I- Ymir - how long have you?”

“Been listening to you fucking sell your soul? Long enough. What were you thinking?”

Historia takes a furtive look up and down the hall, empty. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything about you.”

“You think I give a shit about that?”

“I-” She doesn’t get to finish, as Ymir grabs her arm and drags her to their empty dorm.

“How about not going out and blabbing your secrets to the first commander who doesn’t yell at us?” It’s the first time Ymir has ever been mad at her, ever considered anything Historia had done to be a bad idea. She can sense the fear in her girlfriend's voice, underneath the anger.

Ymir sits heavily on the bunk, “Shit babe, what are you doing?”

“I’m tired of all my friends dying,” she snaps, “and I’m tired of spending every day wondering if someone is going to remember I exist and decide that's a loose end they want to get rid of. You said to be selfish, well here I am, being selfish. I want to give orders, I want to make decisions that matter and I don’t want to fight titans anymore.”

“And you think they won’t just use you to do whatever Erwin wants?”

“I think, with you by my side, it won’t matter what Erwin wants.”

Ymir sighs, but it’s a sigh of resignation. “Well, it’s too late to do anything about it now. But I’m serious, if this goes south, I will ruin them.”

She smiles, takes her hand and kisses her gently, “I know.”

There is silence for a moment, and then Ymir smirks, “So I’m dating royalty huh?”

“I mean, only kind of, technically I’m a bastard.”

“No no, I knew a girl as pretty as you had to be a princess, does that make me your prince?”

“I think the proper term will be queen consort.”

And she knows, she knows that this path will not lead to a happy marriage with Ymir, that even if they don’t die there will be royal duties, heirs to produce, appearances to uphold. But neither of them mentions it, for now, they will pretend.

Pretending is enough.

Chapter Text

Mikasa knows the only reason she is in the meeting is so she doesn't make a fuss. she isn’t one for long-term plans, to see the big picture and understand how things bounce into each other; Despite what people think, Mikasa is a reckless person, it’s just that her list of priorities is a lot smaller than others.

So yes, Eren is here because he is a titan, Armin is here because he is a genius, and Mikasa is here because its easier for them to let her follow along. It’s not like they keep secrets from her anyway.

She doesn’t know why Krista is here, but the look on her face, nervous, angry, and excited means that Krista knows. Hanji, Levi and Erwin, they make sense, to be at whatever this meeting is. The other two she almost doesn’t recognise. Dot Pixis is bald and genial, she might have met him during training, but the only reason she recognises him is because of the symbol on his jacket and what she has heard from Armin. The woman is dressed in the robes of The Walls, the colour of her collar and the gold in her hair make Mikasa think that maybe she is the Bishop, but she isn’t sure.

“I think,” Erwin says, “That this may be easiest if Miss Reiss introduces herself.”

He looks at Krista when he says this, which doesn’t make sense, but Kirista raises her chin anyway.

“My true name is Historia Reiss, I am the heir to the throne.”

That… also doesn’t make sense.

Mikasa is inclined to not believe her, because why would she be here, why would she say anything? But a glance at Armin shows him looking thoughtful, Eren doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move.

The old woman is the first to react, “So this is her.” Her voice is gravelly, deep. “I see the likeness, she really is a splitting image of Alma.”

Commander Pixis nods thoughtfully, because apparently, that’s all he does. “Do we have evidence of this claim?”

And of course, of course, the people here are not the type to show their emotions on their face, they are acting as if they knew already, apart from Eren, who is staring, mouth slightly open, at Krista. Even Armin is calm, collected, though Mikasa can tell his mind is whirring.

“Commander Smith asked me to look into the rumours of a surviving bastard,” The Bishop, because Mikasa is sure now that is who she is, says, “There are records, of a child named Historia being born to one of his majesties mistresses and disappearing, there are also letters of… a more violent nature, about her removal from this world. She is the right age, the right look, and unless the Commander and access to church records, and an impressive amount of free time, her name is not information that can be gained lightly.”

She sits back, “We will have to have another look at the portraits, now that I have a face, but I am inclined to believe this claim. The public, however, will need more proof.”

“Did the church ever announce an official reason the wall fell? Apart from the lax morals of humanity?” Erwin is addressing the bishop and she shakes her head, “No specific indecent acts could be determined, it is more like there was no one trigger, for the fall.”

“But if there was a trigger, would the attempted murder of the Goddesses chosen hero be sufficient?”

Her eyes have not left Krista, they look hungry, “It is… an interpretation of the events, but as Commander Pixis said, more evidence will be needed if you wish to have the public on your side.”

“How about the chosen one being able to control the titan that saved Trost?”

Erwin smiles, it is a twisted, satisfied smile. “And this is where I introduce Privet Eren Arlet, who’s true body is that of the titan Jeager.”

She doesn’t have the opportunity to examine their reactions, because Mikasa is fuming. How dare he, how dare he just give out a secret they had worked so hard to keep, how dare he drag her brother into a war he may not even want. The only reason she doesn’t stand and voice these thoughts is Armins hand under the table, tightly clenched in hers. She knows her nails, blunt as they are, will be leaving angry red marks in his skin, she knows she will feel bad about it after, but right now she doesn’t care.

“Once Captian Hanji gives the go-ahead, we will be happy to prove it to you, but for the moment he is unable to resume his true form.”

“Is this true Private?” Pixis looks directly at Eren, who looks at Armin. Armin gives a slight nod, and so Eren does too.

And she knows what he is going to say before he says it, even as he lifts his hands from his lap to sign the words she doesn’t need to look, doesn’t need Armin to translate. Because this is who Eren is, self-sacrificing, loving, willing to do anything for his humans.

“Eren will do it. He’ll pretend to be under Kri-Historias control.”

And that slip means she’s lost Armin to it too, to the challenge, to the possibility. Their friend is no longer Krista, the only person in training Armin can beat in a fight, she is Historia, a tool, an asset.

That’s okay, it’s like Levi said, she will follow them into hell, and all dangers that surround them will fall to her blade. Mikasa will die, to keep them idealistic young revolutionaries.

The meeting continues, and she doesn’t say a word. Let them have their plans, maybe after this it will finally be over.

Chapter Text

Annie,
I have been thinking about that time you saved me, actually, it is all I have been thinking about. You probably know that thinking is the only thing I can do successfully, maybe that's one of the reasons you hate me. I don’t think you are the type of person to save someone you hate, so either you don’t hate me, or I am wrong about what type of person you are.
Will you throw this away as soon as you open it, as soon as you get it? Maybe that’s why I’m being so honest, there is a very good chance you aren’t going to read this. I think, Annie, that you are ruled by fear, and I think you saved me because you want something from me. Mikasa was a creature of fear once too, honestly, I think you two would get along, sit in silence together or something.
You risked a lot, to keep me alive, to move me to that rooftop, and I don’t understand why. Is it because you knew me? It’s the only reason I can think of, humans are strange like that, strange how we get attached.
Some people aren’t interested in answers, isn’t that odd? Are you like the military police, content to continue in luxury and captivity? There are worse places to be, I guess. I think it’s interesting how little we know, about each other, and this world. At this point, someone with answers could get away with a lot, be forgiven for a lot, if they went to the right person. Something to think about.
Back to that thing about you being scared, I don’t mean to insult you, because honestly, you are terrifying, but when was the last time you made a decision out of anything other than fear? I understand that feeling, sometimes I think I am in a web, being pulled by treads I can not see and have no hope of breaking.
Is Erwin the spider? Is the King? Are you? Or is there some unknown out there, hidden just beyond our sight? Maybe there is no spider, maybe this is just how the world is, made of silk.
Sorry, I’m rambling, no need to reply to this letter, you probably didn’t read it anyway.
Best,
-Armin

Annie likes to consider herself an honest person. If her life is based on lies and also murder, the most she can do is not lie to herself. So here goes, she hates this.

She hates the military, she hates what she has to do, and she hates the people who are making her do it. And when Reiner relays the fact Bert is being sent out beyond the walls she hates the fact that she has to follow him. The two of them debate if Reiner should be the one to go, but Annie is faster, more adaptable and honestly, Annie doesn’t trust Reiner to not be affected by... whatever he is going through right now.
So she takes Marcos's gear and follows the horses slowly being taken up the wall. Bertolt had been assigned to the barge, and so Annie steals a green cape from a body and blends in with the distraction. She is sure to avoid anyone who might recognise her, sticking to recruits from other areas who won’t know anyone. It’s a dangerous job, and for a while she forgets why she is here, focused only on leading the titans away from where the bargers are. She sees no sign of the Eren until two flairs show over the buildings separating her and Bertolt. One green, one black, he had found him.

It is easy to slip away and swipe her thumb with the ring on her pinky, she prefers this method to biting, it hurts less. Being a titan is comforting, it’s natural. She can feel the muscle harding around her nape, and she concentrates on protecting it. This fight may get messy, and she doesn’t want to be caught.

Her appearance as well as the flairs alert Erwin, but she knows she will get there first, she’s faster and they have to deal with titans, she doesn’t. The fight is a blur of instinct and pain. Annie is connected enough to her titan form to feel every hit, every slice and stab. Destroying one of the boats is risky, but Eren probably won’t actually drown and she really needs to lower the numbers she will be facing. The captains are also an issue, she recognises the tripwire tactic too late and almost falls headfirst into the river, too much instinct at this point to control her reaction, and by the time her head is clear the boats have been abandoned and Eren is gone.

Okay, she will draw him out then.

Eren had always been far more affectionate than she was comfortable with, but she knows all too well that love is a weakness, one she is very willing to exploit. Luring titans to her is painful, she has to call to them, resume her human form and lure them where she wants. It’s exhausting shifting back and forwards, her human body never forms quite right but if she is going to fight the founder, the attack titan, she needs backup.

It works, the lighting, the smell, she can feel him immediately and it’s terrifying. The Attack and the Founder are more powerful individually than her form, and together he definitely overpowers her. But from what she has seen Eren is relying on raw strength, and he didn’t use any of his Founder abilities, she doesn’t have to kill him, just beat him. And so they fight, she was right, Eren isn’t trained, is clearly acting on instinct and she manages to get him to the ground to bite out his nape.

What was it Reiner said? Fucking Mikasa? She didn’t even have wires, she’s in a fucking skirt, how? How is she losing?

Annie tries to be honest with herself, she does not want to be captured, and she does not want to die. They probably won’t be able to kill her, but she can already hear reinforcements arrive, and every strike takes longer to heal and every chip off her crystal armour doesn’t grow back quite as fast. She doesn’t want to be here anymore, so she leaves.

Saving Armin was… she doesn’t know what that was, a spur-of-the-moment thing, she saw him surrounded, pathetic and alone and... She doesn’t even like Armin, not really, he’s a weird, obsessive creature and he made Annie nervous.

So why did she save him?

‘When was the last time you made a decision out of anything other than fear?’

Never, was the answer, she became a warrior out of fear for her father, she remembers the fear when she gained her titan, knowing that to gain this power she will be consumed, she stays on this path because she’s scared they have sent spies. Was that why she saved him? To have someone on the other side who owes her?

Is that why he hasn’t told anyone? Why he is writing in such vague terms? So she owes him?

Later, Reiner asks what happened, asks how she could have gotten so close and still lost and Annie can’t tell him the truth, that she doesn’t want to go home, that she hates them and her father and herself for falling for their propaganda. He might understand, in his own way, the hatred you feel towards someone you love so deeply but whose life has been held over a fire for as long as you can remember.

If they stay here, they don’t have to be warriors, don’t have to go home and don't have to move forward. Any spies her superiors sent after them will hear of the commotion, know they are trying but as long as they can’t contact her they can’t threaten her.

So she tells him what he wants to hear, and then refuses to talk about it. Reiner probably thinks it’s about her injured pride, and she is content to let him.

Annie burns Armin's letter and watches it crumble to ash. Something is coming, and she doesn’t quite know how she wants to respond. Perhaps he is right, it is time to ignore the fear.

Chapter Text

A special issue of Walls Weekly, a popular religious-based newspaper.

Authored by Madylin Bernowe

Apologies to all my readers for the messiness of the last issue. I knew when publishing that there would be backlash from both my readers and the crown, but I could never imagine they would issue a full ban on my works. I am incredibly grateful to those who are concerned for my safety and I can assure you that I am safe for the moment. I will not allow anyone to dictate my words or the words of the goddess.

This reaction from our government tells me the claims I make are a powerful thing, that my words are true and have an effect on our society. There is corruption and evil in our ranks and there is no place for these practices in both our religion and our government.

For those who did not buy the last issue before they were banned, earlier this week I named certain members of the royal guard and the crown concerning corruption and sinful acts. While I could not name my sources at the time, I did publish incriminating letters and payment records. With this hostile response, I have decided to take a firmer stance and reveal information I had not yet verified at the time of population.

It is my firm belief that our current ruler is not the true, Goddess-appointed king.

I understand the weight of this accusation and have already taken steps to protect myself from retaliation. I ask for trust from my readers to hear my words, trust I hope I have earned over the years I have spent dedicating myself to this community. First, a statement of the facts, the fall occurred in the year of our lady 845, ten years after the coronation of our current ruler King Friz, a king only crowned due to a series of unfortunate miscarriages, stillbirths and accidents. At the time I remember it being said that the number of things that must go wrong for the brother of the queen consort to be crowned could not be a coincidence, but he had the support of the church and many powerful houses, and Queen Alysa was always far more popular than her husband.

With all this chaos, I believe it is entirely possible that there was a secret child, spirited away from the palace for her own safety, and now this child is back, and it is my goal to meet her and confirm her identity.

This is what was going through my head when I posted the past paper, who is this girl? Why now? And can anything she says be trusted?

And then I met Historia Riess.

Historia, which is what she insisted I call her, is a pretty girl, small. She wears her uniform, the symbol of the survey coup displayed proudly. I ask her about that, why, if she is the Queen, she wouldn’t wear something of her station and she smiles at me.

“As queen, it is my duty to serve. The Goddess has chosen me, but the people haven’t, not yet. Until they do I will serve as I can, as a soldier.”

She tells me of her childhood, of being hidden away with only scripture for company. “I met my father once, mother and I were living on a farm somewhere, and he came one day, panicked. I must have been about six. I didn’t know,” she says, “Who my father was then, just that I wasn’t meant to exist, and the fact I do made everything worse. He hurried us away to this tiny apartment, away from the place I grew up and said I wasn’t allowed to go outside anymore, and then he left. Mother was away for weeks at a time, I read scripture and storybooks and learned to cook. The second time I met him was during the fall. He was panicked again, and he told us to pack up but before we could…” She trails off, looks me dead in the eyes, “Have you ever shot someone?” I told her I had not, and she nods, “Neither have I, I wonder what it felt like, when he put that bullet through my father's head. My mother begged them but they just slit her throat so she couldn’t talk and then it was just me.” The queen's eyes are shining, but she is not crying. “The goddess saved me, she gave me the words to beg for my life and she placed that seed of compassion in my would-be killers' hearts. I said I would do anything, forget everything that happened if they let me go, and they listened. I changed my name and hid amongst the refugees. I joined the military because I knew that the goddess had plans for me but I didn’t know what they were, only that I was to serve the people. But enough about the past, you’re here to see the miracle, aren’t you?”

And yes, because everything hinges on this supposed miracle, the Servey Corps proof that Historia is whom she says she is, Trost. And Jeager. I did not see this friendly titan during the evacuation, too concerned with my and my family's survival, but I heard the stories of the 15-meter titan killing its own, plugging the wall. ‘a miracle.’ I thought when told that due to Jeager I would be able to go home, and I was right, the Goddess has not abandoned us, but if we are to be saved, we must save ourselves.

Historia leads me to a patch of forest, I will not disclose where, and there, emerging from the trees, is a titan.

I scream, I panic. The last time I had seen a creature such as this was during the battle for Trost, and it is impossible to communicate to those who haven't seen one the utter wrongness of their being. It looks almost human, face frozen in a lipless grin, hair long, matted.

Historia stays calm, raises one arm, and says “Halt.” And it does, stops in his tracks, not moving to eat us, go near us, halted. I think that is the moment I believed her, she looked regal in the mid-morning sun, hand raised, controlling a monster ten times her size.

She turns to me, smile still polite, still that of a soldier, “This is Jeager.” She says to me, “I used him to defend the wall, and now I will use him to take my crown as the Goddess commands.”
“You can make him do anything?” I ask, because I am still a journalist at heart and I need to know, need to conform.

“What do you want him to do?”

I pause, remember the stories of it lifting a bolder, and point to a large, old tree, “Can it pick that up?”

“Jeager, uproot that tree.” The titan only moves when she speaks, doesn’t even acknowledge me, or my request before that. It grabs the trunk with one large hand and pulls, the tree doesn’t stand a chance.

“Titans regenerate don’t they? Can you make it hurt himself?”

She frowns at this request, “Jeager is a gift from the Goddess, he will go into battle for me, but causing him pain without a motive feels like sacrilege.”

I nod, noting how familiar she seems with this titan, how she uses the name the military gave it. How she refers to it as a ‘he’.

I drop the topic and ask if he can he understand me, she shrugs, “I don’t think so, he only responds to me, if I’m not around apparently he just… sits.”

“You claim to be the true heir, why alert everyone of your intentions? Wouldn’t a surprise attack be smarter?”

She pauses at that and takes a moment to formulate a response, “If I am to be queen, it is because the people crowned me. I already know the goddess chose me, that is without doubt, but I remember what it was like, to have no control over the people in power. I know that if this path is taken we will end this war, and uncover the true enemy, but if I want people to die for me, I have to earn it.”

There are a lot of things to unpack with that statement, but I focus on one, “True enemy?”

She dodges the question, asks if I want to know more about Jeager, and I let the moment pass I ask if I can touch him, and she smiles, nods and commands him to walk towards us and kneel. I touch his knee first, his flesh is rough and hot. Not quite human flesh but close, too close. Historia grins at me, “Palm up.”

It is with horror as I realise what she is doing, and watch as she willingly steps onto a titan's hand. She holds out her hand towards me, not that of a Queen, it's too rough, too calloused. Against every instinct, I take it.

To ride a titan is to concur something terrible. The momentum of each step pitches me forward, but he doesn’t move to eat me, doesn’t even acknowledge me, and once I have regained my wits I continue with the interview. She tells me of her plans or at least the vague outline of them. The government has one week to hand over the false king, if they do, they will be assimilated into her new military, if not, Historia Reiss will ride a titan into battle.

She seems confident, “They haven’t seen real war, faced real titans. When Trost fell I was on the front lines, watching my friends die around me, using the power the goddess gave me to save the country I am sworn to protect, what did they do? Where were they, when the people needed them?”

There is fire in her voice, and I realise what kind of queen Historia will be, a kind one, but a fierce one. Not afraid to enact change, to do what the goddess commands her.
My final question is a simple one, “The name Krista, why did you choose it?”

“My favourite book growing up was an old version of the myth of the wall, an early translation. Sheena has been translated many ways, but the one in my version was Krista. I admired that Krista from my book, she was kind, and giving, she listened to the goddess and was willing to give her life to keep humanity safe. She was the type of woman I wanted to be, if I couldn’t have my true name, I would borrow hers."

We have left those times of heroes and chosen ones, the times when Sheena was considered a goddess of safety. Those who mocked her, ignored her, were punished, and those who fought for her, and believed her were rewarded from the safety of the walls.

I do not know if Historia is Sheena reborn, the last goddess to not be tainted by humanity's sin, or if she is a creature unto her own. But I do know that if we are to have any future, we must take action and I firmly believe that Historia Reiss is the action the Goddess wants us to take.

Chapter Text

The day is calm, clear and Ymir looks radiant. She always does, to Historia, but today her hair is down, and she is in her best clothes, brown canvas pants and a light green linen shirt. Historia wears her best blue dress, and they stand, surrounded by friends, in a dappled forest grove.

“We are gathered here today.” Armin starts, “To celebrate love, and the strength it gives you. I will not talk for long, but your survival has been made easier, softer, due to the love you share. and it is an honour, to have watched your love blossom.” He smiles slightly, “I believe you have prepared your own vows?”

Historia has a slip of paper tucked in her sleeve, but Ymir doesn’t reach for anything to read off of when she starts speaking.

“I know this wedding isn’t recognised by the gods, or the military, or the government, and for some that will be shameful, disappointing. But this is enough for me. To declare our love surrounded by people I somewhat tolerate. No matter what comes ahead, no matter the trials we face I will always be by your side. It will be an honour to be by your side.”

Historia is going to cry, there is no way she isn’t going to cry. “Ymir, I know that all our friends are asking the single question, ‘why?’. Why have I chosen one of the rudest, most insufferable people to spend my life with? That is all they have ever asked, when it comes to you and me, but I have never been unsure about choosing you. You have pushed me forward, pushed me to be better, each lie, each mistake, you have seen and called out, you have caught me when I fall and I will spend my whole life attempting to make this relationship even, to give you even a fraction of what you have given me.

“I love you, I love you more than words can say and I will fight to live in a world where we are safe, so I can love you for as long as I can.”

Ymir wipes a tear from her cheek, her smile is soft, private. Armin starts the handfasting ceremony.

The dominant religion of the Walls uses rings to bind a couple, speaks of the Goddess and chastity and life. The ceremony Ymir suggested is an old one, the tying of hands in a complex pattern Armin has somehow memorised. Once the knot is cut they will each keep a half, Historia thinks she might braid hers into her hair.

Armin ties the first knot, “This knot declares safety. Do you vow to be home to each other, to bring comfort during the snows?”

“I do.” She says, Ymir smiles, “I do.”

“And so you are bound. This knot declares strength, do you vow to strengthen each other, to be a single soul against the world?”

She didn’t want the common ceremony, that one will be used for her inevitable future marriage, will bind her in the eyes of the gods to a man she hasn’t met and will never love, maybe three men, depending on how seriously the church takes scripture.

“I do.”

“And so you are bound. This knot declares sincerity, do you vow to be open and honest, and for all you do to be done in truth?”

She looks into Ymirs eyes, into the face of her lover, who took each deadly secret on the chin and followed her into hell.

“Fuck yeah I do.”

Ymir snorts, “I do.”

“And so you are bound.” Armin takes a pinch of salt, the most expensive thing at this wedding and sprinkles it over their joined hands. “The waters welcome you as one, and will embrace you as the whole.” he takes the knife Historia stole when she thought Mikasa was dead and slides the blade between their hands.

“With this cord, I bind your souls, and with this cut, I set you free.”

“I will keep this cord until I join the wind, and the wind will carry me to you.” She intones. Armin smiles, “You’re married!”

Let it be known, her friends throw an awesome party.
A row of tables have been set up, covered in whatever food they could scramble together without their higher-ups noticing the secret wedding they were planning. Historia is pretty sure they have noticed and decided it wasn’t their problem, which is a pretty nice gift from Levi all things considered.

Sasha showed up with a giant boar that she insisted on spit roasting, which then spirals into a meat-based cooking competition with Jean, someone has produced an absurd amount of alcohol. Conny has brought out a lute, and is strumming popular folk songs, he’s avoiding war songs, and hymns, which is nice of him.

She’s enjoying all the warm squishy emotions that apparently comes with being married when Bertolt approaches. Gifts are a private thing at weddings.

“Reiner owes me a lot of money.” He says, “I always told him you weren’t interested.”

“Reiners dead,” she reminds him, because sometimes they all forget.

“He is.” Bertolt looks down at his hands, and then offers her two small knives that appear to fold up onto themselves, it’s a design she has only seen once before, when Reiner used it to attack that bear. “Queens can’t carry swords, and you.” He looks at Ymir, “She’ll need a warrior where you’re going, hidden blades are good when your enemies are human.”

He doesn’t wait for them to speak, just turns around and walks away.

“That was weird,” Historia says, slipping the knife into the pocket of her dress.

“It’s about to get weirder.”

Eren is holding what looks like a small wreath, his smile bright. He holds it out to Ymir, which is a bit of a surprise and Historia realises it's a crown, made of woven twigs and flowers. He doesn’t say anything, just places it on Ymirs head, gives Historia a tight hug and walks away. Ymir raises a hand to feel one of the small red flowers, looking slightly stunned. “You think he got us confused? He is kinda a freak.”

“I think he just likes you.”

“Like I said, a freak.”

“I like you.”

Ymir smirks, “Like I said, a freak.”

“I’m your wife, you can’t talk to me like that.” but she’s grinning wide, wife, she gets to say wife now.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Mikasa's voice is as soft as ever, but she appears to be smiling, maybe. Ever since the strategy meeting, Historia has been a little afraid of Mikasa, in a way Krista never was.

“I didn’t get you a gift.” Mikasa says.

“You didn’t have to-”

“I didn’t like what you made Eren do.” She interrupts, voice still flat, still calm. But Historia can tell there is anger under the surface. Historia isn’t quite sure what she is referring to, maybe that’s the point.

“She didn’t make Eren do shit.” Ymir snarls, Mikasa ignores her.

“I don’t think Krista would have been able to kill a man, and I don’t think Historia can either. Why should I fight for you, if you won’t do the same for me?”

And she knows, knows that friendship or the goddess or righteousness won’t work oh this woman, won’t do anything. She thinks back to that night they got wine drunk, of Mikasa's soft smile when she talks about her family.

“I’ll let you go.” She blurts, and knows from Mikasas face it was the right move. “Once I’m Queen, honourable discharge, if that's what you three want.”

Mikasa considers her “You have been a good friend, and when the time comes, I think you will make a good Queen, even if you have questionable taste in wives. You don’t need to worry about me, I won’t betray you. You don’t need to worry that much about your enemies either, unlike you, I’ll kill them for you.”

She also walks away towards her brothers, these people need to learn how to end conversations.

“Ignore her,” Ymir says, “for one night, ignore her and dance with me?”

They dance, they dance until her feet are sore and she’s breathless from laughing and the world around her becomes a whirl of colours. “I’m glad we did this,” she murmurs into Ymirs shoulder, once they have retreated to a mess of drunk piles in the common area.

“Whatever happens, I’m glad we did this.”

A slow song starts playing, no one is singing, but she recognises the tune, a little morbid for a wedding, but maybe that’s fitting.

There was a man, both good and true,
All alone and a-lowly

Eren, Mikasa and Armin and curled in a pile, Eren draped over them, asleep, Armin reading from a notebook, Mikasa running her hands over their bodies as if they are cats. They look at peace, this might be the last time anyone here is this happy.
‘I trust them’ she decides, ‘I chose to trust them.

Branded a witch for what he could do
Lost in the cosmos, lonely.