Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I left home with a pep in my step. Why wouldn’t I? It was a wonderful day. The sun was shining, the roads were glistening, and everything was perfect! I had the feeling I was forgetting something, but I didn’t worry about it too much. It couldn’t have been something dire. 

The townspeople were cheery as always. I greeted each person as I walked by, and they did the same. I was on the way to my job and I was looking forward to it greatly, since today I have a special job to do! Not that the previous jobs were any worse! I just like the idea of this one more.

I turned the corner down the street on the route I normally take, when I saw a crowd circling something. I knew I was going to be late, but what would it hurt if I delayed work a little? I walked over to the crowd and started to fit myself into a space. There was a woman on the ground, and she didn’t look well. I didn’t know what was wrong with her, and no one else seemed to either. We all just stood and watched, until someone else walked up. 

A maintenance worker walked up to the crowd. It grabbed everyone’s attention; we don’t normally see those kinds of people around.

“What’s going on here?” He asked. 

“We don’t know! She was just talking, and when she took her joy, BOOM! She fell to the floor!” 

The man looked thoughtful before bending down to a medkit that was on the floor. He took out a syringe— to be honest, I thought it was empty and that’s why no one was using it— and walked over to the woman. I noticed that the syringe had a frowning symbol on it. I had no clue what that meant, but it didn’t look good. The man injected whatever it was into the woman, and she was suddenly okay. Everyone was shocked. I started clapping, then everyone started clapping! The man seemed a bit shocked at the applause but accepted it.

The woman then started to stand up, “Augh... I feel... terrible.” 

Everyone looked at her, “Oh dear,” One man started, “I think you might want to take some joy.”

Joy? That reminds me of something... I already took my joy, didn’t I?

“Joy?” The woman looked at the man, “Oh... oh no. I think that’s what caused this mess!” 

Everyone’s happy attitudes turned sour. I didn’t feel the need to also criticise her, because I was trying to remember what I felt needed to.

“Whatever do you mean? Are you a downer?” An old lady asked.

“A downer!? No! No, no, no! I just think there might be... uhm...” The woman started to defend herself.

“Downer! You’re a downer!” Another man shouted, and pointed at the woman.

“No, wait–! Please–!” She took a step back, but only bumped into another citizen. 

I look up in time to see everyone take out... weapons? One of them has a lead pipe, the rest have kitchen tools. They all then start attacking her! They start hitting her, screaming ‘Downer!’, ‘Black dog!’ and the like. I watch in horror as she collapses, but they don’t let up. They continue to beat her— probably dead— body. Then I remember what I forgot. It sounds like an alarm bell in my head.

“You have to take your joy!”

Only, it isn’t in my head. Everyone heard that. And they’re all now looking at me.

I turn around and look at the TV screen that is looking straight at me. I then look back at the people who had just beat a ‘downer’ to death. They all looked mad. Except for the maintenance worker, he just looked confused. Actually, he didn’t participate in the beating either.

“Are you also off your joy?” One of them asked.

“Me?! No! Something must be wrong with that machine. I took my joy just before I left!” 

“Broken? How could that machine be broken?” The old lady asked. I briefly noticed the maintenance worker smile before he took a step forward.

“Ah! That reminds me, the reason I’m here is because of that TV! I just happened to run into you folks as well!” He walks past the group and over to the TV. He looks up at it for a moment before turning to me, “Hey, a little help here, will you?” 

I rushed over and offered my hand to climb on. He took the offer and stood up to the TV. He took out some fancy contraption and opened the back panel. He then just ripped some wires out. I don’t think the other people saw it, but he definitely just broke the TV.

“There we go. I’ll come back later to patch it up. I didn’t need some bloke to get spanked for no reason.” The man hopped down and I dusted my hands off. He patted my shoulder– now that I’m getting a closer look at him, he looks familiar, “You be off on your way then.” 

I blinked, “Ah! Yes. I have a job to do, haha!” I took a step back, “Well, cheerio!” I started back in the direction where I was heading in the first place. I’m not actually going to work, not just yet. I take a turn and head into an alley. No one ever comes into the alleys unless they see me do it, so I assume I’m safe. 

I reach into my pocket and take out a joy. I guess I forgot it in my pocket, and that’s why I didn’t take it. That doesn’t matter though, right? I can just take it now! But the longer I think about it, the more I don’t want to take my joy. I mean, I just watched a bunch of joy takers beat a woman to death for something that wasn’t her fault! Who knows what else has been happening here? What about those people on holidays? Now that I’m not on joy, and now that I can clearly think about it, how long have those people been on holiday? Is it really a holiday? I close my eyes and my fist.

“Did I always act like them when on joy? Should I really still take it?” I think out loud.

“Well look at that! I knew something was off about you!” I heard someone say from behind me. I whip my head around and see the maintenance worker. Why is he here? No one should be in these alleys, and there’s nothing to fix here! Oh God, is he going to tell a bobby that I’m a downer?

“Wait!” I shout, “This is just a misunderstanding! Please don’t tell a bobby!” 

“Tell a bobby? That would be hypocritical of me.” He says, walking towards me, “I’m not here to taddle on you, I promise.” 

I calm down a little, but that still raises a question, “Why are you here?” 

“Well... I followed you. I saw a similarity between me and you.” 

“Similarities? What? Who are you?” 

The worker seemed a bit stunned, “Huh? Is it my outfit? Turn around for a moment.” 

I hesitantly do as told, and I hear a briefcase open. I don’t remember him having a briefcase. I also hear fabric.

“Alright, turn back around.” I do as the maintenance worker told me, and... he isn’t wearing a maintenance outfit anymore, he’s wearing a suit just like mine. He also has a briefcase in his hand, “Does that help?” 

“No. Who are you?” 

He stares at me in disbelief, “Jesus christ, do joy-takers really have this bad a memory? Does the name, ‘Arthur Hastings’ ring a bell?”

I think for a moment before it does actually ring a bell, “You! You’re that famous downer that people should be on the lookout for! How didn’t I recognize you?”

“Same reason everyone doesn’t recognize me. It’s a mystery. Anyways– you saw that, right?” He points vaguely behind himself.

“The–? Yes. I saw it.”

“You realise how bad this town is, don’t you? The fact that you haven’t taken your joy yet tells me you have.” He walks closer, putting his briefcase... somewhere. He just puts it behind his back and it disappears. What the hell?

“Well... I don’t know. It’s probably best that I just take my joy.” 

“Best? Do you want to be the one beating a woman to death next time?” 

“No! No...”

“Then be a downer! Like me! We still beat people to death but it's in self defence. You can be a pacifist.” 

I ignore the second part of his sentence, “A downer?! No, I can’t do that! It’s too dangerous!” 

“Pfft, dangerous? All you really need to worry about are the doctors! And you can just run past those guys! As long as you’re with me, you’ll be fine.” 

I consider his offer, and then I question how I can consider an offer like that! Are you kidding me? “No, I can’t. I just can’t! It isn’t worth it! What’s even the point?”

“The point is to leave this place! Or try to make it better! You know what? You just live a week without your joy. No need to worry about fighting, just go to work and live as normal.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few pills, “Here, these will help. They’re called Sunshine.”

I take them. I don’t know why I took them, or why I plan on doing what he said to! “What do they do?”

“They allow you to pass by any devices undetected. That’s why the TV didn’t alert to my presence, but it alerted to yours.” 

I look over them for a moment longer before putting them in my pocket, “And if I make a decision, where do I find you?”

“There are hatches into little maintenance rooms. No one goes in there except for me. If I’m not in there at the time you get there, I’ll probably be there soon.” 

I slowly nod, “Alright. I’ll take your test. And I’ll be fine. Good day, Arthur.” I start walking past him.

“Good day, whatever your name was!” He says cheerfully. I would’ve corrected him, I should’ve, but I was too busy stomping out into the street.

Chapter Text

“Mood booth! I need to find a Mood Booth!” were the only thoughts running through my head as I ran through the streets. 

I must’ve missed some meeting, because I’m not finding a single Mood Booth wherever I go! Maybe it’s the withdrawal— or the lack of glasses— but I’m not seeing a single one where there used to be millions! People are giving me weird looks, seeing as I’m sprinting around the neighbourhood. I’m sure they can see I’m off my joy, why isn’t anyone offering any? 

I’m just turning another corner when I bump into someone. We trip over each other and fall to the floor. It’s a maintenance worker, and it looked like he was running just now. He starts to get up and look behind him frantically, but I don’t pay attention to that. I grab onto the collar of his coat and start shaking him.

“WHERE IS A MOOD BOOTH!? I NEED IT! PLEASE I NEED MY JOY!” He looks even more alarmed now that I’m screaming at him. He puts a hand over my mouth and he drags me into an alley we were close to. He tosses me to the ground quite harshly and pulls a suitcase out from... actually, I can’t tell. He pulls out a perfume bottle and sprays himself with it. He then turns to me and sprays me with it. I started coughing, seeing as I wasn’t prepared for the mist. When I open my eyes from the coughing fit he’s in a suit. Strange that he changed so quickly. It also seems like my withdrawal has passed, maybe now I can find that Mood Booth.

I see a few doctors start to walk past the alley, but they stop when they see us. The once-maintenance worker flinches as they start talking.

“Hey, what are you two doing in here?” One of them asked.

The man spins around to face them, wringing his hands behind his back, “Oh, us? I was just helping this woman with her joy! She had come off it and was suffering some nasty withdraws! But she’s fine now, aren’t you?” He turns to me, clearly nervous despite the smile on his face. 

I look between the doctors and him, and each time I look at the doctor he starts to get more nervous. I don’t know why he’s lying, but I suppose I’ll help him. It’s harmless anyway, “Yes, he offered me one of his. Though, I’m not a fan of strawberry.” I just assume his joy is strawberry flavoured. He looks like he’s someone who enjoys strawberry. 

He looks extremely relieved until the doctors start speaking again, “Ah, I see. What a kind citizen you are. Now, if you’d be so helpful, might you have seen a maintenance worker run past here? We suspect he’s a downer, and we need to. . help him out.”

But isn’t he the maintenance worker? If he’s a downer, shouldn’t the doctors be able to smell that he’s not on his joy? Actually, shouldn’t they be able to tell that I’m not on my joy too? “Oh, him? He pushed past us as this man was helping me. I think he climbed somewhere onto the rooftops. It was quite impressive.” I say.

The man— downer?— turns to me, surprised. But he turns back to the doctors quickly and nods, “Oh, yes. We haven’t a clue where he went!” 

The doctors look up and curse, “Damn it, he got away again! Well thank you two for the assistance. We’ll make sure he’s cured immediately.” one says before they both walk away from the alley, quietly discussing. The man walks over to me and collapses once they’re out of sight. 

“They were so close! Ugh, I shouldn’t have gotten so close to one of them! I despise doctors!” He complains loudly as he rolls onto his back, covering his face with his hands.

“You’re. . a downer? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in the Eel Pie Holm? Or Lud’s Holm?” I ask. He uncovers his face and looks at me. It’s a mix between surprised and upset.

“What am I doing here? Have you seen the state of those places–! Actually, that’s right. You haven’t” He instantly calms down, putting his hands on his stomach.

“The state–? What do you mean? The bobbies say it’s fine down there.”

“The bobbies are liars that are following rules. It is terrible down there! You should see the state of the people! The houses!” He sits up, looking at me.

“What? No, that shouldn’t be. . why would the bobbies lie?” 

“No clue. Perhaps they just want to keep people on their joy for whatever reason. That’s the main goal. Keep the people who can take joy on their joy. Doesn’t work that well though.”

I think for a moment. This man is a downer, surely he can’t be right! “No. No, you must be lying to me! Our authorities have our interests at heart! I mean, those doctors just wanted to cure you!” 

“Cure me? Hah! They were going to kill me! Do you know how much trouble I’ve caused? Of course you don’t! You joy-takers don’t remember anything! If you don’t believe me, maybe you should take a trip down there yourself!”

I think about it again. It would be easy to prove—

“But you must be off your joy, or you won’t remember bollocks.” 

“What!? But I’ll get in trouble! There are too many downer detectors. And I’m not a downer!” 

“Oh, don’t you worry a lick about those fancy machines. I have something to bypass them. Actually, we don’t even have to go through the gate to get into those places!”

“What do you mean? How are we supposed to do that?”

“You’ll see. Just follow my lead and you’ll be fine. Oh– turn around for a moment, won’t you?” 

I do turn around for a moment so I can think. Is this really the best idea? He’s a confessed downer who causes trouble! This could be dangerous! But. . I also would like to know what he’s talking about. The Garden District can’t be that bad, can it?

“Alright, get up. We have places to be.” I hear him say. I stand up and turn around, and he’s wearing the maintenance outfit again.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” I ask, gesturing to his outfit.

“What? Oh, You’d think so, but no. Now, come on.” He starts walking out of the alley. I scramble to follow him.

“What’s your name?” I ask after I catch up to him. 

“Oh, yes. Names. I’m Arthur, Arthur Hastings. And you?”

“Olivia, Olivia Williams.” 

“Nice to meet you Olivia. Now, stop walking like that. No one can tell you’re a downer unless you look suspicious.”

I realised that I was tip-toeing the whole time. I guess he’s right, nothing is more suspicious than acting suspicious. 

“Now, we’re heading to one of my safe-houses. Each safe house has a pathway through the sewers we can travel through. So rather than going through all that security— I can do that, it’s just tedious,— we take a quick trip through the sewers where the only disturbances would be rats, the smell, and the water.”

I shiver at the thought of travelling through the sewers, but I suppose he’s right. Going through security would be tedious. So, I simply follow him to wherever this safe-house is.

Chapter Text

I think I’m a good constable. I stop downers from getting into town, I help citizens make sure they’re on their joy, I don’t slack off that much, and I don’t lie for the sake of an extra break. Other constables say that I’m too lenient. But I don’t exactly want to beat people until they comply. They’d be dead! And how will they take their Joy if they’re dead? So, I do the right thing and handcuff them and send them to jail. The jail is primarily filled with prisoners that I’ve brought in, so I’m helping whoever works there too. It would probably be boring if there were just no prisoners. But, the others criticise me for my methods, so I let them do the hard work.

Let them do the hard work , I think, turning away as my coworkers surround a wastrel who had snuck in through the joy detector. It is difficult to just let them do ‘our jobs’ as they say. I have to continuously remind myself that it’s for the best. And whenever I do have doubts, I pop a Joy and soon those doubts will go away. Though, unlike that Blackberry stuff the other’s have been trying, my joy makes it a little bit harder to work. I’ve been consistently pushed to try Blackberry, but Ms. Boyle herself said that there’d be no turning back, and I don’t exactly like the thought of that. I glance backwards at my coworkers, and they’re still going at it. I pat my pockets to grab a Joy, only to realise I don’t have one on me. It’s not as if I’ve gone off yet, but I can feel the doubts coming. I assume that the other two are busy enough, and that I’m good to find a Mood Booth.

I straighten my suit before walking through the doors back into town— Luckily I don’t forget which door was which again. One time I did and went into the Garden District, the smell hit me like a truck. They really need to clean up over there— The moment I take my other foot out the door I spy movement out the corner of my eye, I don’t move quick enough before whatever it was jabs something into my neck. I yelp, and turn to face the culprit while bringing a hand to the spot where I was jabbed. The culprit was a maintenance worker, strangely enough. I reach for my truncheon and grip the object I was assaulted with, and pull it out. I brought it to my face to look at it, and it was a strange syringe with a frowny face on it. The syringe was also empty. I pale. Something was injected into me and it’s labelled with a frown! I look up at the maintenance worker and pull out my truncheon. He doesn’t seem too phased, looking past me. I open my mouth to speak but before I could say anything my mind blanks. I freeze as memories come flooding into my head. Memories I don’t understand, memories I’m not even sure were mine, they couldn’t be, could they? They flash in my mind one by one, but I’m not given a chance to process them. Despite the chance to process them being denied, I get an overwhelming feeling of sadness. Terrible, terrible sadness. My eyes start to blur and I feel tears roll down my face. The maintenance worker I was facing looks like a faintly coloured blur now. A blur that sidesteps from their place beside the door and away from me. But I don’t have the strength to look over at him. Really, I don’t have the strength to stand. I drop the syringe and my truncheon— a very bad idea— and fall to my knees. I try to wipe the tears, but obviously it’s no use. Sobs and wails fall from my mouth as I’m unable to do anything but sit there and cry. I think I hear the door open beside me. Maybe I hear some shouting, or maybe that was the memories, but eventually pain shoots through the side of my head and it all goes dark.

When I wake up the first thing I do is wince, then I open my eyes. There’s pain in the back of my head, I can’t exactly describe it as sharp or dull, but it hurts. The view that greets me is the underside of another bed. Then my hearing starts to come to me as well.

“—Help, right? I mean, maybe he isn’t that bad?” A feminine voice says. I suppose I woke up in the middle of someone’s conversation. Wait, didn’t I black out outside?

“Help? We’ve already helped enough! He’s alive isn’t he?” A masculine voice replies. I think he’s talking about me. Was I attacked when I blacked out?

“You know that isn’t what I mean! I mean in the way you’re helping me! Perhaps he’d be willing! Even though you are the one who...” She goes quieter, so I couldn’t hear her at this point, “... but you also saved him from being beaten by those bobbies!”

“You didn’t have to whisper, I’m sure he isn’t awake yet.” The masculine voice says. I suppose this is the chance to break my silence.

“No...” I croak. My voice is hoarser than I would’ve thought, “I’m awake.” 

I hear a shriek, I’m not sure from whom it was, but moments later I see the woman standing over me.

“Oh! That’s good, how are you feeling?” She asks me.

“M’head hurts. What happened?” I tilt my head a little, and catch the other person who was speaking, including the rest of the room. I seem to be in one of those maintenance hatches, I’ve only been to one once, but this looks a little like it.

“Well...” The woman looks away for a moment, “What do you remember?”

“I got. . jabbed? And then I started crying. And then I blacked out.”

“That makes things. . easier! Well, the other bobbies heard your crying— you were quite loud— and saw you on the ground. And they assumed you were off your joy, so they started hitting you.”

I’m not sure what I felt after hearing that. Shock? Sadness? Betrayal? Whatever it was, the lady must’ve seen it on my face.

“B-But! My uh–” She paused, looking back at the guy. Why are either of them here? Neither of them are dressed as maintenance workers.

“Friend.” He finishes for her.

“My friend saved you! A few. . uhm, victims were taken, but you’re okay now! Right?” She pet my head. It felt kind of nice.

“. . killing? He killed them?” My voice sounded more normal, “That’s not allowed.” The lady flinched, taking her hand off me. I started to sit up, using my other hand to feel the part of my head that hurt.

“Yeah?” I hear the masculine voice start, I think he’s a veteran? He’s wearing the suit, “Well neither is being off your Joy! So we’re both doing a little rule breaking.”

I blinked, strange I hadn’t noticed sooner. Perhaps it was the lack of withdrawal, “I’m off my Joy!?” I exclaim.

The woman sighs, walking away from me, I get out the bed, careful not to hit my head on the top bunk. 

“Yes? Why else would you start sobbing in public?” The veteran smiles smugly. I start looking around the room, ignoring the pain in my head for the moment.

“Do you have some Joy anywhere?” I shout, looking through random chests and such. They seemed to not be used in years. 

“Sure we do! But we won’t give it to you.” I hear the veteran say, I snap around to face him. He isn’t looking at me, rather, he and the lady seem to be preparing medical supplies. 

“Why not?! I need to take my Joy!” I shout walking over to the table.

“Why?” The man asks.

“Why?! Because! . . because. . !” I try to think of something, but my mind’s gone blank.

“It’s. . It’s in the rules, innit?” I say a bit quieter.

“But that doesn’t mean you need it.” He says.

“Take a seat,” the woman adds. I do as told and look down at the table. The woman stands up, taking medical supplies with her. I hear her walk behind me.

“Sure I need it. I don’t want to be a downer!” I keep my head down as the lady starts doing something to my head. I assume it’s related to my health.

“What’s so wrong with being a downer? You only think that ‘cause you’re told to! And even then you don’t get a reason!” The veteran explains.

“Well– wait, why are you saying this? Are you a downer?” I don’t believe he would be, but I ask anyway. Downers are supposed to be violent, aren’t they? . . but didn’t he kill the other bobbies?

“Right-o. And I wouldn’t be hanging out in a place like this if it wasn’t for people like you believing downers are so bad!” 

I hear the protocol that was drilled into my head be repeated now. But I ignore it, “Downers are supposed to be violent. Aren’t they? You seem pretty normal.”

“Did you ever wonder why downers are so violent? I mean, the woman treating your wounds is off her joy! I wouldn’t call her a downer yet... but it's been a day.”

I try to think. Why would downers be violent? They ended up the way they are by their own choices, right? “I’m not sure. I don’t see a reason other than they aren’t on their Joy.”

The veteran stiffens a little. I’m unsure why.

“Olivia?” He says. I hear a ‘hm?’ from behind me. 

“You were right. Maybe we should help him. I’m up for a challenge anyhow.”

“Oh! That’s great! You should always strive to help more people!” She responds.

“What? What are you talking about?” I feel the woman, Oliva, apparently, finish bandaging me and I see her walk over to her seat.

“It’ll be hard to hide the fact he’s a bobby though. All bobbies are tall.” The man ignores me.

“Maybe we shouldn’t hide that fact? I mean, it sounds like he hasn’t been here before. Maybe seeing an experience from two different eyes would be helpful?”

“Uhm???” I say, trying to catch their attention.

“Perhaps you’re right. Speaking of experiences, you’re going to need a new outfit. You can’t be running around in a clean dress like that.” The guy says.

“Huh? What are we going to do then?”

I just sit there, a little shocked that they’re ignoring me like this. 

“Oh, follow me, I’ll show you. You know how to sew, right?” The man gets up. The lady does so as well.

“I love sewing!” She exclaims as they walk off to some table.

I sit at the table and sigh. My head doesn’t hurt as much, at least. I walk back over to the beds and lay down, hoping to get some rest before whatever is being planned happens.

Chapter Text

I had cooled off on the way to work. Mostly because the other citizens were looking at me strangely, but I had enough time to consider his offer. I don’t want to hurt people. Not like the others have. But, I don’t want to leave either. It was a dilemma I had to think thoroughly over. Becoming a downer will inevitably lead to my downfall, I’ll either be cast out into the Garden District, or I’ll be on the run for the rest of my life. But, if I get back on joy, I will be just like the others, beating downers to death even if it isn’t their fault they’re a downer. Neither option seemed favourable, but is my resolve to not hurt people stronger than my want to survive? I don’t want to resort to eating garbage, do I? 

My thoughts were abruptly cut off when I ran straight into the bobby that was guarding my workplace. I stumbled backwards and landed straight on my arse while he didn’t even sway a little.

“Ah! You ought to watch where you’re going! Don’t want anybody getting hurt, aye?” The bobby said, looking down at me. 

I stood up, looking up at him in return, “You’re right, sorry! I’ve just been so distracted today! I oughta just pop a joy, huh?” I tried my best to speak like the others. I thought I was pretty convincing.

“That’s right! Happiness is a choice!” The bobby patted my shoulder.

“Yup! I’ll take one when I’m in the office!” I gave a thumbs up and walked past him before he was able to respond. My smile tried to drop, but was held up by the artificial smile of my mask. Though, relief washed over me when I was out of the bobby’s line of sight. I’m not sure if I can keep an act like that up for a week. A week! I remember that I agreed to do this for that long! What was I thinking?!

I sat down at the desk that was labelled as mine and looked at my computer. Then I realised, I don’t actually know what I do for a living. I try to remember what I did when I normally came to work, but I don’t remember actually working. I remember taking my breaks and hanging out with my other coworkers, but whenever I was at my desk I just remember toying with the other objects on it.

I turn on my computer and try to log in. My password and account were rejected. I fight against my mask to visibly grimace. I don’t even remember my account. I look around at my other coworkers, but they don’t seem to be doing work either. Does anything get done here? Not by the looks of it, so I can’t ask anyone else in my office! No one else has their computers logged in! I type in a few desperate attempts at a password, unsure if my account might be incorrect too. After a few tries I give up and stand up abruptly. My chair screeches on the floor and everyone turns to look at me. Looking back at them, realising I was drawing too much attention to myself.

“. . Hey! Let’s go get lunch, guys!” I shout. Anxiety is coursing through me. I am extremely tempted to just pop a joy, but no, I need a clear head right now, I still have a decision to make.

Everyone starts cheering right after my declaration, happily getting up from their desks too. I watch nervously as they group up and head to the breakroom. When they all leave I finally exhale. 

“I... should leave.” I say to myself. I don’t want to sit around staring at a screen and doing nothing. It’s not like they’d miss me anyway. I wait another second before walking out the same doorway. I quickly locate the exit and rush out. I wave to the bobby, adding a ‘Lovely day for it!’ just for good measure. He responds with something I can’t hear as I continue to walk away. 

“Why the rush?” Someone calls out from beside me. I stop speed walking and turn towards the person. It was an old woman.

“Oh. There’s– There’s a new stock of– The new joy flavour is out!” I shout. It was a terrible lie. The new joy flavour isn’t even scheduled to release yet. I don’t even know what the new flavour is.

“Oh! It is? My, I ought to rush over there too!” The old lady said, starting to walk off in the opposite direction.

I watched her in awe. She really believed that? Is everyone on joy that stupid? Was I that stupid? I shake my head and start walking. That doesn’t matter now. What does matter is where I’m going. I didn’t think of that when I was leaving. Maybe I’ll just take a walk.

I look around the town. It’s the first actual look around that I’ve had, with or without joy. It looks very similar to what it looks like on joy. Joy just makes colours more vibrant, I assume. 

The people look... well, happy, obviously. But they seem a little too carefree. People are jumping in puddles, skipping, jumping in motilene puddles.

I stop in my tracks, whipping my head around to look at a woman, who’s jumping in a puddle of motilene! That stuff is dangerous, isn’t it? We all know this, right?!

I walk over to the woman, careful to stay out of the area that is coned off. I don’t want to inhale any fumes, I don’t have a gas mask to protect me. “Excuse me, Ma’am? Uh, lovely day, isn’t it?”

The woman looks over at me, smiling, “Oh, it is! I’m having so much fun today!” 

“Yes, uhm. What is it you’re jumping in right now?” I point towards the puddle of motilene.

The woman doesn’t even look down, just continuing to jump excitedly, “Oh, a puddle of course! I love jumping in puddles after it rains!”

“It hasn’t rained since last week!” I laugh trying to make it seem like a joke, but I’m really just trying to get her to realise that what she’s jumping in isn’t water.

The woman faltered, thinking for a moment. She looks down, “Oh my! You’re right! This isn’t a normal puddle!” She examines her heels.

“Yes! You’ve been jumping in motilene!” I laugh nervously.

“How silly of me!” She laughs as well, “Well, I must be going then!” She walks out of the puddle and away from the cones.

“Good day!” I call out to her as she walks away. She doesn’t respond. I turn back to the motilene puddle, “Someone really ought to clean this up.” I mumbled.

“You sure are right.” A voice said behind me. I jumped and whirled around only to be faced with a gas mask.

I didn’t want to scream, because that might put me under suspicion, so instead I just froze, staring.

“Eh, you alright? ‘Ello?” The man waved a hand in front of my face.

“Wha-Wha-Wh-wh–” I started stuttering, unable to get a simple ‘What?’ out.

“Jeez, I’m not that scary, am I?” The person said before raising a hand to touch their face, only for their hand to be blocked by the mask, “Oh, that’s right!” 

I tried to say something again, but instead my head was hit with a sharp pain. No one had attacked me, but my thoughts were taken over by a terrible memory. 

I was running, I think. Many people were running around me. People in gas masks with guns were firing guns at us. Someone was holding my hand while we were running. I looked behind myself and saw a can get thrown behind me and the blurry image of the person I was running with. Gas flew from out the can and I was choking on it. So was the person behind me. The collapsed and I fell with them, trying to help them up. Then everything went black. 

I opened my eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to get used to what I was looking at. I was back in Wellington Wells, not sure if this was better than my memory or not.

“You okay?” I heard a voice ask next to me, I look over and see that Arthur guy.

“Yeah... Just– remembering... What are you doing here?” I look down and see the gas mask he was just wearing in his hand.

“Ah, yes. Remembering. Might want to fix your face. And I’m here for motilene.” He then lifts up some sort of gadget I can’t identify. 

“What’s that?”

“A vacuum. Made for motilene, watch!” Arthur put on the gas mask again and walked over to the puddle. He turned on the device and it started to suck up the motilene, just as a vacuum should. I watched in astonishment as the motilene was transferred from the ground into a power cell I don’t remember him holding. Soon enough the puddle was gone. 

“Huh.” I mumbled.

“Cool, right? Well, I got what I needed. Good luck... uhhh” Arthur pointed at me as he trailed off, he then turned to repair the leaking pipe.

“It’s Thomas. And– before you leave– where are one of those maintenance hatches?” I stepped to the side as he stepped away from the coned off area.

“You don’t know? Here, follow me. I was heading in that direction anyway.” Arthur shrugged,  beginning to walk away. I followed after him. 

“... Do you seriously just walk around like that? And no one notices you?” I ask.

“Are you talking about the maintenance suit or that I’m walking in the open? I mean, sometimes I have to change out of the suit when getting chased, and they forget about me, but yeah, no one notices.” Arthur answers.

“That’s... so weird. Is it really that easy?”

“If you can either run or fight. Luckily, I’m decent at both of those, so I’m in the clear!” I stare at him judgmentally, but then I put my eyes back to the road. I’m good at running, and I’m not the strongest, but I’ve gotten in a few fights and won. 

“There it is.” Arthur snaps me out of my thoughts, I look over to where he’s pointing and see a hatch in the corner of one of the parks. “For some reason, no one enters them, not even other workers. Even if you’re in the middle of being hunted they’ll forget all about it if you get in quick enough.” Arthur explained as he started walking over to the hatch, I followed. 

He twisted the hatch open and gestured for me to go in. I stared at him.

“What, think it’s a trap? You’ll be fine! You aren’t anyone important.” He remarked. I frowned, but he was right. He wouldn’t have a reason to trap me, so I started climbing down into the hatch. I heard him start climbing as well after the hatch closed.

Once I got to the bottom I looked around. The first thing I noticed was the two dead bobbies propped on some sort of machine in the middle of the main room. Arthur looked over my shoulder to see why I stopped.

“Oh– I didn’t do that one. When I first got here the place was flooded and flowing with electricity. They got electrocuted.” 

I looked back at him, “Why didn’t you take them out?”

Arthur stared at me, as if I had said the dumbest thing ever, “Take them out? Yeah, sure! Not only will I carry these 7-foot-something human beings up the ladder and out that metal hatch, but I’ll also do it in a way that no one will see me exit with two bodies ! It really is so simple!” He went on sarcastically and pushed past me into the room. 

“Oh, well, I suppose you’re right.” I walked in too, careful to avoid the two bodies. I watched as Arthur opened some sort of locker and put a bunch of supplies in. The bottom then emptied the locker just as he closed the door.

“Don’t you– need that stuff? Where does it go?” I walked over and opened the device. It was empty.

“It goes to a bigger storage centre, I just bring it back if I need to.” He walked back into the main room and towards another hatch. I followed him again.

“Where are you going?” Arthur looks back at me and thinks for a moment.

“These tunnels lead to other hatches around the island,” He started, pulling his suitcase out of nowhere again and opening it. He then pulled out a bulky notebook with a bunch of papers stuffed in, “Right now I’m heading to... Lud’s Holm.”

“Lud’s Holm? In the Garden District?” I asked.

“Yes? There are some things I need to take care of there. You can also use these hatches if you need to, but try not to get lost.” He instructed. Once I nodded in understanding he turned back to the hatch and walked inside, shutting it behind him. I stared at the hatch a moment longer before turning around.

“Well, I guess I should get accustomed to this place, shouldn’t I.” I thought aloud as I walked into what seemed to be a bathroom.

Chapter Text

I stop for a moment and look up at the muddy sky. Arthur and I have been walking around the Garden District for the entire day, judging by the slightly darker shade of green the sky is.

The way downers are treated really is horrible. Sure, I only viewed the lives of people Arthur happened to be doing favours for, but those few people really showed me how a lot of the downers we kick out lived. Or, live, since they are alive.

Arthur must’ve noticed my sudden stop, since he walks back over to me and looks up as well.

“Oh, it’s getting dark. We need to hurry back to the safehouse.” He says, before turning and walking off. I start to follow, since he doesn’t appear to be waiting for me.

“Why? Is there a curfew here too?” I say after catching up to him.

Arthur thinks for a moment before responding, “Ehh... I suppose? It’s not like the one in Wellington Wells. There’s a different reason for it.”

“Different reason for it?” I ask.

“It’ll be better if we can get to a safehouse, then I’ll explain it to you.” He says. The moment I’m not looking at his hands, he somehow takes out his briefcase. I wonder why he isn’t a magician– or, wasn’t. He takes a book out of the briefcase and pushes the briefcase into my arms. I’m startled, but hold onto it.

The book is dense, filled with papers that have different handwritings, I assume most of the papers aren’t his. He opens the book and unfolds what looks like map. I peer over his shoulder a little to look at it, and it’s truly impressive. 

“You could do cartography for a living!” I comment.

He just hums in response, not listening to me, “Ah, bollocks! The nearest safehouse isn’t near at all!”

I look at the map again, but I can’t tell heads from tails on it, so I just take his word for it, “What does that mean?” 

He takes his briefcase back and puts the notebook in. And to my surprise, he then pulls out a cleaver and hands the cleaver to me.

“Huh!?” I exclaim.

“Just take it! You’ll need it.” Arthur insists. I take the cleaver and he puts his briefcase away. I look at the cleaver cautiously.

“Why would I need a cleaver? We aren’t butchers!” 

“To defend yourself! We’ll have to fight our way back to the safehouse.”

“Fight?! But- I’m no good at fighting!” I cry.

He glances back at me, “Ehh... You’ll get used to it.”

“No, I won’t! I mean it, Arthur! I’m rubbish at fighting!” I speed up a little to match his pace. It’s difficult because he’s much taller than me, and has extremely lanky legs.

He glances away nervously, “We’ll deal with it later! I don’t have anything to deal with that right now!” He sounds like a reluctant teenager.

“But-!” My protests are cut off by a gargle behind us. The person sounds like they’re speaking Latin. I stiffen.

“Ack! Too late! Just swing the thing around, and you’ll be fine!” Arthur says, looking around.

I look around as well, and notice that we’re getting surrounded.

“Infecteds!? There are infecteds here?!” I shriek, I do notice normal people in the background with helmets, but they aren’t attacking us so I don’t care.

“Yes, the plague has quite the hold on most of the Garden District. Now put that cleaver to good use! We’re going this way!” He spins me around and pushes me in a direction. I stumble a bit but continue on the path. A few infecteds show up in front of me and I do my best to do what he said, but I just end up pushing them out of the way so I can keep going. Judging by the sounds behind me though, Arthur is taking care of the ones I pass by.

My eyes are mostly closed when I’m running, and I’m swinging the cleaver madly in hopes I don’t get hurt myself. I don’t notice that I’m unable to hear Arthur behind me anymore, and I don’t notice the man on the path that I run into. I fall over, but he doesn’t.

“Oi! What’re you–? Oh?” The man’s voice seems more curious. I look up and grip my cleaver. The light on his helmet gives me a headache.

“What’s a young lady like you doing out?” He says. I close my eyes and swing at him. I feel a hand wrap around my wrist, stopping my swing.

“What do you think you’re doing? Harming a man of the law?” He says. I pale. I hadn’t realised he was an officer, I thought all bobbies were tall. 

“I ought to teach you a lesson” He grumbles, I feel his other hand grab my other wrist. I open my eyes, only to be blinded by the light again. I struggle to pull my wrists out of his grasp.

“Wait! No, no, I’m sorry!” I cry. I drop the cleaver in order to focus on getting my arms away. I kick and squirm. I close my eyes for a moment, but when I open my eyes I’m somewhere else, in the same position.

I’m able to see this time, but there’s still an officer holding onto my wrists, so I continue to kick and squirm.

“LET ME GO!” I cry, but my voice sounds younger than before.

“Stop struggling girl!” The officer says, “You aren’t allowed to be here!” 

“I’m too old! I told you, I’m too old! Let me go!” I scream.

The officer loosens his grip on my hands, and I close my eyes, swinging wildly at his face.

I hear a choked noise, and when I open my eyes I’m back in the Garden District. It takes me a moment to remember what happened. When I do, I look over to the side and see the man who grabbed me earlier. His head was separated from his neck. I shriek and push myself away from the body.

Once I feel I’m the appropriate distance away, I notice another body nearby.

“Arthur?” I ask.

“What on earth was that for?!” I hear him shout. He looks up, cradling his nose. 

“What do you mean? What happened?” I glance over at the body again.

“I saved you–” He emphasised by pointing at me– “From getting attacked, and when I went to check on you, you punched me in the face!” 

“What? Oh! Oh no! I wasn’t trying to punch you, I promise!” I wave my hands frantically, “I just-! I’m not sure.. I was remembering something?” I moved one of my hands to my head.

“Last I checked, none of my memories were physical..” I hear him mumble, “Fine! Whatever, pick up your cleaver. We still have a long way to go.” 

I watch him take the dead man’s helmet before standing up and dusting himself off. I do the same and grab my cleaver from the ground.

I jog a little to catch up to Arthur. There seems to be less people around these parts, so that means less conflict. I decided now is a good time to have conversation.

“Who was that?” I start.

“I believe they call themselves the ‘Headboys’, or something of the sort. They normally come out into the Garden District at night.” He answers.

“Do they work with the bobbies?”

“I... I’m not sure. I’d assume not, so don’t entertain the idea.”

A beat of silence passes.

“Did you also have memories like that when you got off joy?” I ask.

Arthur glances at me with a raised eyebrow, “Memories like what?”

“Memories that just... invade your senses. It feels like you were there, but you aren’t... and you don’t remember anything before or after that memory.”

“Oh, well... I don’t think they were as intrusive as yours. They came at more convenient times. I also didn’t act out anything that happened in the memory. I didn’t even remember any actions until after I remembered the sounds. It was only dialogue, and a place that I’m pretty sure was nearby during the memory.” 

“So.. you never remembered everything all at once? Only the noises?”

“Yup. occasionally I would remember both, but most times it was just noises.”

I deflated a little. If Arthur notices he doesn’t seem to care. 

“After we get to the safehouse, we’ll need to grab the constable. Then... I guess I can see what I can do about your fighting issue..” He grimaced when laying out his plan.

“Why do you seem so reluctant?”

“I was a huge arse to the person we need to see... If we’re lucky though, her compassion for someone else will override her likely hatred of me...”

I side eye Arthur, but say nothing more. My only question is how can you anger someone who’d be useful to your cause? That makes no sense to me.

“But we shouldn’t worry about that now. We still need to find the constable, and hopefully that won’t take long.” 

“How far are we?” I ask.

Arthur took out his thick notebook and opened it. He stared at the map for a moment, “It won’t be long now.”

I have the urge to ask him for exact times or measurements, but I realise he probably didn’t have the time to integrate that, so I don’t ask. 

We’re nearing the town, so we won’t have time to talk soon.

“What are you planning to do with me?” I ask.

Arthur abruptly stops walking, and I turn to look at him. He looks appalled.

“Wait! No, that isn’t what I mean!” I wave my hands, “I mean like– are we going to keep working together? Or are you going to leave me to deal with this information on my own, you know?” 

Arthur shakes his head and starts walking again, “It’s up to you. If you’d rather stay in Wellington Wells I’ll be dropping you off there. But if you want to do something , then we can keep working together.” 

Arthur pauses before speaking again, “Though, we will have to go our separate ways eventually... We’d have different goals after all.”

I nod, and we both hop a dishevelled fence to get onto the path. Arthur looks around before heading towards a path leading through the town.

“How do you think the constable is faring?” I ask.

“He’s fine, most likely.” Arthur answers.

We finally make it to the safehouse. Arthur opens the hatch and I climb in, him following behind me. 

Once we make it to the bottom I notice my clothes on the bed, and remember something. I tap Arthur’s shoulder.

“What’s that?” I point to the mechanical locker I always see him use.

“That? Oh, It’s a pneumatic stash.” Arthur replies as if it’s the most simple thing in the world.

“And what’s that.” I ask again.

He shrugs uselessly and walks over to the locker, “You don’t know how to use it, right?”

I walk up behind him, “No, I don’t.”

He takes a deep breath and claps his hands, “Okay! Look here, see these buttons?” 

I look at the buttons he’s pointing too. They look like save slots, but only one of them is used, and I assume that one is Arthur’s.

“This is how you pick which locker you want. And if I do this...” I watch him press on an empty slot and choose one letter for my initial.

“Now you have your own locker!” 

He presses on his own slot again, “To pick what you want, you have to use these numbers here. All of your stuff is in different categories based on these numbers, so if you press one number everything in that category will come up.

He presses 5 and the locker opens to show multiple medical supplies. He closes it and I hear the items disappearing.

“That make sense?” Arthur asks. I think for a moment before nodding my head.

I show that I understand by grabbing my clothes and putting them in my own locker. Once I hear my clothes being whisked somewhere else I smile brightly.

“Yup! Great job! Now, lets go get that bobby.”

I nod and start to empty my pockets into the locker. Arthur waits for me to be finished.

“How will we find him?” I ask as we start walking over to the hatch into the sewers. Arthur grimaces.

“Ah, didn’t think of that. We’ll wait at the safe house for a while... and if he doesn’t show up in an our will split up to look for him, alright?” 

I nod.

“If we go an hour without results we will meet back at the safehouse.”

“Okay!”

He opens the sewer door and I walk in first.

Chapter Text

I try to ignore the glares coming from the other people in town as I walk through. I’m not scared that they’ll try to fight me, I think they’re smarter than that. It’s just that the stares are unsettling. I’m not sure how long I have to be out here. I think I learned what the guy– I never learned his name, did I?– wanted me to.

Using my own observations– And listening to the rants in the letters I found in mailboxes– I’ve learned that most of the people who have gone downer, if not all, have done it against their will. I also learned that there's little to no food here, so the people are so violent because they’re desperate. I would call them animals, but I’m paranoid that some of them can read my mind. 

I look up at the sky for a moment, and see that it’s beginning to get dark. I have the thought to head back to that safe house. I look around the empty field before I realise, I don’t know where I am. I was once in a place that resembled a town, but now I’m just surrounded by empty space and grass.

“Think,” I mutter to myself, “Try and backtrack...”

I attempt to do what I just told myself to do, but I realise that I took too many unnecessary turns on my way here. So, in short, I have no clue where to go. I frown and weigh my options. Either, I turn and start walking somewhere, or I sit here and pray that the other two downers find me. One option is extremely unlikely, so I turn and start walking. 

My memory was never the best, but that wasn’t too much of a problem in Wellington Wells, especially with joy. Now that forgetfulness is coming to bite me in the arse.

What’ll happen to me if I don’t find my way back? Days might pass without the other two finding me. Maybe they’ve given up on me already. What does that mean for me? I have no access to food, water, or any other necessities. So... I’ll starve, right?

I stop walking. I don’t want to starve. But what else am I to do? I already feel hungry, though I thought I ate before my shift. I wasn’t knocked out for that long, was I? I shouldn’t have gotten that hungry! What did I eat last anyway?

... When did I eat last?

I thought I remembered eating before going over to the bridge, but now with a clear head, I only remember popping a joy and drinking water. I did eat, didn’t I? 

I try to remember what I did when I woke up. I vaguely remember eating something, but later then that I don’t remember having any solid foods.

I walk over to a nearby tree and sit down. I then close my eyes and try to remember everything I did today.

I woke up. I ate something red, an apple maybe? I got dressed and went to work. I worked, I worked, I worked.

Oh, I remember what I ate before going to the bridge. It was a rat.

I look down at the grass in shock. I... I ate a rat? Where did I even find a rat? I don’t remember cooking it. I remembered it tasted disgusting. And... hairy? I gag at the thought. 

That explains why I only remember popping a joy. I probably did so to forget eating something like that. I try to dig further into my memories. I remember dealing with something like that before.

It was a long time ago. In fact, I think it’s one of the memories I was reminded of when I was drugged— un-drugged? Whatever, injected— What I ate wasn’t a rat though. It was around the same size though. Its texture was like a rat... not fur... feathers? A bird? Did I eat a bird?

I try to insert my vague memory of birds in the place of blank spots in my memory. It feels right. Yes, I ate a bird. I... I plucked the feathers off, and boiled it. It wasn’t good.
Why though? What led to me eating a bird? I didn’t think food was scarce back then. But it was, wasn’t it? No, not all food, only where I was the food was scarce. Where was I though?

I open my eyes and look around, examining the ruins around me.

It feels familiar, now that I think about it. But I don’t remember why.

If I was here, it wasn’t for long. This place didn’t matter.

Where I’m thinking of must be nearby? Right?

I’m interrupted by someone muttering something in a language other than English.

“The plague?” I say to no one, standing back up and looking around. A little ways from the tree I’m against is one of the plagued people. It’s strange how it tries to stay on the path, but that doesn’t mean I should stick around. 

I take a moment to try and follow the feeling of familiarity. It might lead me back to town. I stare at one of the ruins and feel an invisible pull to the left, so that’s where I start walking.

I try to stay out of sight of the plagued-people. I notice other normal people with helmets, but with the way that they’re walking I figure they aren’t too friendly either.

I have half the mind to find it strange that they don’t notice me. Sure, I’m not on the main path, but I’m not that hidden either. I’m also tall, so I’m sure I stand out. But no, they don’t notice me. Maybe starvation makes you near-sighted. 

I look around again and still feel the sense of familiarity, but I don’t remember the location. There are more houses popping up though, so it doesn’t matter if I don’t remember where I am, I’m probably close to another safe-house. 

I step over a fence and onto an empty pathway and start walking. I wouldn’t be able to find the safe-house from the outside of town.

As I’m walking I hear footsteps and a loud “HEY!” from behind me. I put a hand on my truncheon and turn around. I see three of those guys with the lighted-helmets approach me. They’re holding pipes, shovels, and seemingly anything metal.

“What are you doing around these parts?” One pokes me with their pipe.

“Excuse me?” I ask.

“You ‘official’ bobbies are supposed to be in Wellington! What are you doing here in the garden district?” 

I try to think of an excuse but pull a blank, so I default to my ‘I’m not wrong, you're wrong’ voice, “What, am I not allowed to be here? I’m allowed to do whatever I need to,” I act more intimidating.

The three back off a little, but the ‘leader’ looks at the other two before regaining their confidence, “Well, as the officers looking over this district, I think we oughta know what you fancy folk are planning!” 

“You don’t ‘ought to’ know anything. This is government business that the likes of you,” I poke him with my finger, getting closer, “don’t need to be meddling with.”

The leader freezes up a little before putting the tough-guy act back on– I think I do it better than him, “W-Well–! Just know that we know aaallll about this place. S-so if you need anything do-don’t come running to us!” 

“I won’t be needing to.” I stand straighter. 

The group look between each other before sulking off to somewhere else. I turn and start walking. Only when I’ve turned a corner do I relax, letting the false anger pour out of me.

I was worried I’d have to fight them. I’m glad that I don’t.

I wonder what that situation would be like if I was like the other two– if I wasn’t a bobby. Maybe they would’ve just hit me? Why are they so rude anyhow? I don’t think they have the height to make up for that attitude. 

I walk for a minute or so more before I turn a corner and run into someone. I’m not too affected by the collision, but the other person takes a step back. I look down and see the veteran and Olivia. The veteran looks ready to fight until he recognizes me.

“Oh! There you are! Well, that was easier than I thought, he was on his way here.” The veteran says the second part to Olivia, she nods in response.

“Well, come on now. Let's get to the safe house, we have some things to discuss.” The veteran turns and starts walking. Olivia follows immediately, so I have no choice but to do the same. 

“We do?” 

“Yes.” He doesn’t elaborate, to my dismay. 

We all went to the safehouse. Olivia goes in first, then me, then the veteran goes last. Once we get to the ground I stop, expecting the conversation to happen here— Olivia has the same idea— but the veteran keeps walking over to the sewer door.

I share a brief look with her before we both follow along.

“We’re not talking here?” I ask as we file into the sewers.

“No, it’s cramped in there, we’re heading back to the larger safe house.” The veteran explains. I take the explanation and keep following.

When we get to the other safe house, the veteran instructs me and Olivia to sit down at the table while he prepares something. 

Olivia sits in the same seat she had before, and I decide to do the same. We sit in silence for a moment before she decides to take charge.

“Had any revelations?” She asks.

I turned over to her, a little surprised, “Oh, well I suppose so? I think I remembered something. But my memory is as bad as it was before, so I’ve just forgotten it again...” 

She hums, “That’s a bummer, but I was talking about the downers. Didn’t you see how helpless they were?” 

I nod, waiting to see where she was going with her statement.

“I think we need to help them. It doesn’t reflect well to other countries if we discriminate against other people like this! Especially since we’ve been lied to, so we’d believe everything was just fine. Don’t you feel betrayed?” 

I think about the situation, “Well, now that I think about it, I do...”

“Exactly! We need to fix this! If no one else will step up to the plate, then it’s our job to!” 

Her attitude about things starts to affect me. Knowing what I know now, it is my job to help, isn’t it? And I’m in a pretty powerful position, I’m sure I can make some sort of wave. Yeah, I can. But how?

My thoughts were cut off as the veteran barged through the door again, “Right! Now, we’ve got to talk!”

Chapter Text

It was later than it should’ve been. I let my little tour of the maintenance hatch take up too much of my time, now the curfew was beginning to set in and I was much more than 3 blocks away from my house. Surely the bobbies would be understanding, right? 

The streets slowly got more deserted and darker. I got more and more nervous. Normally there weren’t doctors in this part of town, but what if that changed suddenly? I’d be defenceless. Is this what that Arthur guy always dealt with? This sucks. 

I started to pass by a street when I heard whispering. I looked down the road to see two bobbies at the door of a house. I quickly looked around for witnesses before crouching down and sneaking closer to them. I’m not sure what possessed me to eavesdrop, but that’s what I did.

“Mrs. McCalister, we know you have some meat rations! You shouldn’t be hogging them all to yourself, should you?” One of the bobbies said.

“I don’t have any! I’m not sure where you heard this, but they’re lying!” 

“Hm… that sounds like downer talk to me, don’t you think so, constable?”

The other bobby nods, “Suspiciously so. When have you last taken your joy? We might have to come in for a wellness check!” 

“I’ve taken my joy! You don’t need to make a wellness check!”

“Just open the door, McCalister! It’ll be quick! Or will we have to force this door open ourselves?”

“This is unnecessary! I don’t need a wellness check!”

“You have till we get to one. 5… 4….” The bobby started counting down. I watched anxiously. 

“0!” A bobby started kicking the door down. I think they skipped a few numbers. The door broke down quickly, and the bobbies filed in just as quickly. I heard the scream of the woman who was at the door, and the crash of multiple fragile things. 

I stopped watching the door, curling up next to the bench I was hiding behind. Not looking didn’t erase the sound of screams from the house. In fact, it made it worse. I waited, curled into myself listening to the horrible noises until the woman was eventually silenced. I thought about how the bobbies caused that. How that wouldn’t have happened if they did what they were supposed to. How every neighbour would just pop a joy and go back to sleep, forgetting about the huge misuse of power. How I will be the only one to remember her, even though I didn’t know her that well. Was that really the fate of these people? To be forgotten the moment they died? How could they? How could we ? Is this really the sacrifice for happiness? If that’s true, I don’t think we deserve it! Not at all. But what can I do? I’m just some guy.

Then I remembered the reason why I’m having these thoughts. Arthur is making an impact, and it doesn’t even seem like he’s trying to save the people. He’s trying to save himself. So what if I try? What difference would that make? Surely something, right? Anything to get more people off joy. If I can do that… I can start a movement. Yeah… I can, can’t I?

I stood up. Checking that the two other bobbies were still looting that house before running off and getting back on the track to my house.

I need a plan. I need supplies. I need knowledge. I need to meet up with Arthur again, but who knows when he’ll be back? I need to prepare some things on my own. I can't rely only on Arthur. I can’t be helpless. First, I should figure out my plan of action. Then I can figure out what I need.

I made it back to my home without running into any of the authorities, luckily, and made a beeline to the kitchen. I looked through all of my cabinets and pulled out all the food I had, which was not much. A few good pieces of bread, a few not so good pieces, rotting fruits, some healthy, but not a bit of meat. Did I survive off of this amount before? How am I supposed to survive on this now?

I put everything back into their places and grab a notepad from my dining table. I write down “get more food.”

I walk back into my living room and start brainstorming. What would I need? Weapons, obviously. But what else? Do I need to keep my joy on me? Or do I need to make sure I don’t take my joy? 

I pause and reach into my pocket, pulling out a few circular pills. “Sunshine” Arthur said they were called. They helped him get past machines. He didn’t mention anything about doctors though, so it might only be useful for machines. I should keep that in mind. I put the pills back into my pocket.

I also need to figure out where to go. I barely remember where my own house is, how am I supposed to figure out where to go to start something? Arthur had a weird book, maybe he has a map on him too? I made another note to ask Arthur for a map. I hesitated before adding “Ask for more Sunshine”

“Ask for Arthur’s plan”

“Ask about what would hurt the joy production”

“Where to find weapons?”

I pause and look back at my sink. I walk over to the faucet and turn it on. Once I pour some of the tap water into a cup I notice that it has a slightly pink tint. I’m unsure if it’d be worth it to check. 

I take a small sip of the water and immediately feel the affects of joy. I pour the rest of the cup out and quickly write down “Ask how to get clean water”

The effects quickly wear off, and deflate at the loss of happiness. But I quickly kick myself back into shape. That’s how we all got addicted, after all. 

I double check my list one last time before deciding that was enough for now. I put my notebook and head upstairs. It would be best if I went to sleep before putting any of my plans into motion. Not only due to sleep deprivation, but also because of the curfew. 

I woke up with a start. There were no dreams that scared me out of my sleep, I just felt... strangely late. I sat up, got dressed, and left my house as usual. I had a pretty good fake smile on my face as I started walking. I don’t exactly have a destination, not yet, but I’ll work on it. 

I zone out while walking, spouting empty greetings while my feet lead me somewhere. While I walk mindlessly I try to remember what was on the list that I needed. Food was the first thing on the list, Right? Right. I blink and take a quick glance around and conveniently find myself in front of one of the shops. “Odds & Ends Shop”, I think it’s called. 

I walk inside and am greeted by the person at the counter.

“Hey! Uh, do you happen to have any food items?” I ask, trying to mask my nervousness.

“Food items? What do I look like? A Grocery store?” He laughs.

I also decided to laugh. “Hahaha... right. Uhm...” I look behind him at the items I assume are for sale. I also briefly noted a red bobby standing on the right that I hadn’t noticed before.

“Let’s see... Can I get that suit? And that torch over there?” I point at the two items, reaching to grab my wallet in the process. The storekeep goes over and grabs the items I wanted, putting them into a bag. I pay him and turn to leave.

“Come again soon!” The storekeep says. I quickly say some sort of phrase before continuing to walk out the door.

Where do I keep these things? I bought them since I thought I would need the supplies, but where do I put them now?

I look down at my bag for a moment. In the safehouse, maybe? And this is a pretty big bag... maybe I can go shopping for the rest of my things as well. I nod to myself.

I faintly remember a pub somewhere. It’ll be in my best interests to head there to maybe find some food.

I finally make my way over to a safehouse. People were giving me weird looks, but a greeting usually made them ignore me. I put the bag on my shoulder and open the valve, climbing down the ladder. 

I come down to a dead body once again. Unfortunately Arthur isn’t here, so I’ll have to wait before bombarding him with questions. I walk over to the bunkbeds and throw the bag down on the first one. I then sit down by the bag. 

All that walking was tiring. All that acting too... I’ll have to really get used to this before I can make too much progress. I roll up my sleeve to look at the time. It isn’t that late. I have quite a bit of time before curfew. I should probably use this time to do something more productive. I get up from the bed and start to leave, passing by the unsettling bodies again.

After getting out, I check my watch again. My shift wouldn’t be over by now, I don’t think. I could pay my job a visit. Maybe some of my colleagues have useful items? Yeah. That’s a good idea. 

I make my way back to my job, it wasn’t that long of a trip now that I actually know where things are. I wave to the bobby at the door and walk into the office. I assume everyone’s at lunch, since they’re all gone. 

I walk up to the closest desk and start rummaging through the drawers. There are sometimes a few useful nicknacks, some boring “paperwork” or some personal letters, nothing big.

I managed to get through all the desks before anyone came back, but I didn’t get any good equipment, at least, in my eyes. So I leave the office and look down the hall. 

Higher-ups get their own rooms, and they don’t seem to lock their doors. I open the door to the first one and walk inside. Empty. And there’s a fruit basket! With fresh fruit! I walk over to the basket and start to take the fruits out before realising I have nowhere to put them. So I put the fruit back and grab the entire basket instead. They won’t miss it.

The first room was good enough, maybe the next one will be just as useful.