Actions

Work Header

Gambler’s Melancholy

Summary:

Left alone with his thoughts, he attempts to risk it all, but is it even worth it?

Seems more like Russian Roulette

Notes:

Uhh this gets pretty bad mentions of SH (kinda detailed) mention of suicide Dissociation/Derealization,proceed with caution

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Thoughts loom over the redhead like a dark cloud

None of them make sense

Don't waste your life not taking a chance, don’t regret what you could’ve done.

He looks around. Its…dark?

It’s a simple arcade. A few old, broken machines nearby. A singular slot machine.

It doesn’t seem special, nothing here does

He reached into his pocket, somehow filled with coins.

He inserts one in, then pulling the lever

Watching the slots spin round and round

It kept spinning forever

A constant roulette, spinning on and on

“Rinne-Kun?”

He spins around, to see the one he loves smiling back at him, he rushes towards him, embracing the silvered-haired angel.

“Niki!”

He dissipates as he reaches his arms out.

Rinne stands there in confusion. Was this a dream? It felt too real to him.

The slot machine stopped.

No good rolls.

Out of luck it seems.

A mask he didn't even feel on his face began to fall , shattering beneath him.

There’s laughing from all over

From where?

His own mind

Rinne isn't rinne without his facade

He’s impulsive

And loud

And chaotic

The flirtatious bastard everyone knows him as.

Nothing more

Nothing less.

But now it’s getting unbearable.

He wants to be more

He’s not just chaotic bastard Amagi

But is it worth taking that bet?

Seems more like Russian Roulette.

He sat there next to the now useless slot machine, peering through the glass doors. The sun was starting to rise, the shades of orange and reds burning the sky as the sun cast its light.

Despite this, he felt…cold

As much as this empty arcade machine frightened him, despite the everlasting sense of unfamiliarity, he sat there. His own thoughts buzzing around his empty mind.

He often wondered what would happen to crazy b if he left, would they be better off?

Is he doing all of this for nothing?

They probably don't even need him

He can feel his own body starting to tremble, his mind feeling fuzzy and scattered, and an everlasting ache in his  head.

Everything seemed so loud in his mind.

Stop. Make it stop

They don’t need you, stupid boy

Rinne’s heart was exploding out of his chest, nothing seemed controllable

Thought you were worth something, eh? Just go jump off or somethin useless bastard.

He bashed head into a nearby arcade machine, begging the voices to stop.

You cant escape it, you cant run for that long.

Cant be a kid forever, can ya Amagi?

He let out a scream, kicking over one of the arcade machines. He threw shit around, knocking over chairs and tables, breaking glass, snapping off joysticks, till everything was left a shattered mess. He collapsed again, blood pooling from the gash in his forehead, his vision blurry, his chest tight. And there he cried

He cried for all the mistakes he couldn’t make up

He cried for all the times he was nothing but misunderstood

He cried for all the shit he was too much of a bitch to do that cost him

He cried for all the things he couldn’t say to his unitmates, his friends

He cried for all the emotions he couldn’t express to Niki.

He cried for the fact that even to this day

He hid himself like a coward.

The sudden icy cold air blowing was replaced by a more welcoming feeling, if thats the word. He looked up. He wasn't in the abandoned arcade anymore. But the safety of his apartment. He could still freely that sharp, stinging pain, although this time it was less centered at his forehead.

He looked over, to see that same silver-haired angel, except now his face was filled with horror. He was shaking, looking down to see a pool of crimson stain their ivory sheets. Rinne couldn’t speak, it felt like his throat was on fire, each passing moment causing it to get worse. He could feel tears leave his eyes while staring at Niki.

Even with the amount of panic in his eyes, Niki never failed to look so beautiful.

Rinne managed his best to give out a wave, yet he could barely move his arms without the wincing pain of the open wounds littering his arms. Despite the amount of shock Niki was in , he was able to sit down on the bed in front of Rinne. He mustered up of his courage to finality be able to speak

“Rinne….what did you”

Rinne felt his stomach knot and his mind go all fuzzy again.  He could hear some sort of chanting in the back of his mind., leading him on even more.

He responded in a rather croaky and drained tone but still able to project is rather expressive voice,

“Everything’s fine! Just got a bit unlucky, y’know?”

Notes:

This was mainly based off of a dream I had a few days ago… Poor Rinne Amagi man he needs a hug.. don’t judge if this was out of character it was 2am and I was tired